#as a film and he is also known to be a movie enjoyer so he probably would not do that. he understands the monkees this is my truth | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hsrockstargf · 1 year ago

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Object of Desire*

AN: this is my first time posting on here so please be gentle☺️

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summary: Honey Rose, one of the most sought after adult film actress, get picked to do a scene for director Harry Styes. What happens when she finds out that he will be the one doing the scene with her?

work count: 7.5k

tropes: pornstarry

warnings: 18+, language, explicit smut, fluff

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Lights, Camera, Action.

I’ve always wanted to hear those words be uttered before a scene- to feel the adrenaline rush as I make the script come to life. As a little kid I would whisper them to myself before I would put on a short skit for my grandma, and it made me feel like I was a real movie star. Now at 26 years old- I am the furthest thing from a movie star, but I guess an actress could be the term for my job.

The adrenaline that I love to feel rush through my veins is present as well as the nervousness that is making my hands sweat slightly. The possibilities of today swirl around my mind as I walk down the long corridor to meet the director of today’s shoot.

I never thought this is what I would be doing to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly, but I can’t say I’m disappointed. What started out as occasionally posing for a lingerie company to help me get through school turned into signing up for an OnlyFans and making $7,000 a week.

I never did anything too risque on my page, only posting pictures of me half naked without showing my face and occasionally taking a few requests from subscribers. My following grew exponentially and it continued until I didn’t know how to manage all of the content people were asking me to film.

A few months ago, a manger reached out to me wanting to represent me. Although this was a far fetch from the job I’ve always wanted, I couldn’t turn it down. Having sex in front of a camera with a whole team watching you and a million more waiting to see it with a person you barely know is scary and intimidating- but I took the job anyway. I like the money and sometimes the sex is actually quite enjoyable when I can get out of my own head.

This particular job came as a surprise to both me and my manager. Usually, my manager would reach out to a filming company, give them my head shots, and then wait to hear back if they wanted to use me for the scene they were wanting to film, but for this one the director himself reached out to my manager. Apparently, he had seen some of my work and wanted me to be one of the stars in his new video.

Harry Styles- is the biggest name in the porn industry and someone you don’t say no to. Not only is he one of the hottest and sought after pornstars, but he is also known for being a fantastic director. Every single one of his videos has at least a million views, if not more; they are hot and sensual, plucked right from all the fantasies that I’ve stored away in my brain. He started out just like everyone else, at the bottom of the totem pole, but he became so successful so fast that everyone in the industry wanted to work with him. Recently, he’s been focusing more on the directing side of his job, foregoing the acting part which many people have complained about, but of course he doesn't care.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I’ve gotten myself off multiple times from watching him. Just listening to his deep, slow, and raspy voice would make my cunt slick before reaching into my night stand to grab my purple bullet vibrator. I would press it to my clit and circle it around while I watched him kiss down the length of the random girl’s body before he would uncover her wet pussy and taste her for the first time. He would use both his tongue and fingers to get her off before fucking her into the matress, making her scream out in pleasure as he takes her from behind and slaping the plump flesh of her ass as she comes on his thick cock. He would fuck her through her orgasm, and the sound of both of their moans would make my stomach swirl with pleasure. I would always tease myself, not letting myself come until I knew he was about to orgasm. To not disturb my neighbors, I would flip around on my belly with my vibrator still pressed closely to my swollen clit and bite into my pillow as I listened to his deep moans as he came, finally finding my release alongside him.

It’s gonna be hard for me to look him in the eye today and not picture him like that; to not think of the way his back muscles flex while hovering over his partner, thrusting into them as hard and fast as he can or the way the vein on his neck pops out when he tilts his head back in pleasure. I don’t even know if I’ll be able to focus on my costar as Harry directs us, only focusing on him and what he wants from me.

“Honey?” A small woman stands in front of me, holding a clipboard and a pair of headphones hanging around her neck. “Honey Rose?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Sorry, I guess I’m a little distracted.” I answer to my stage name, and laugh off my embarrassment. She giggles along with me, easing my nerves.

With an extended hand she says, “Hi, I’m Jenny, Harry’s assistant.” I take her hand and offer her a smile. “I’ll be showing you around and then I’ll take you to meet him.” After we shake hands she pulls away and turns around. “Follow me and I’ll show you where you can put your stuff.”

We make small talk while walking down the hallway towards an unknown destination. Jenny rattles off all the things she did this morning, preparing for the shoot and she also tells me how excited Harry is to meet me.

My stomach once again flips at the thought of being in his presence, but I don’t get a chance to think about it more when Jenny stops in front of a door that says ‘Honey Rose.’

“I get my own dressing room?”

Jenny looks at me with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Of course you do. Have you never had one before?” She opens the door, stepping to the side to let me walk in the room first. “Harry always makes sure his stars are taken care of.”

I shake my head while walking in the room. It’s nothing too extravagant, with a love seat couch tucked in the corner with a small coffee table in front of it and a vanity on the far left wall, but it’s nicer than anything I’ve gotten before. Usually I have to get undressed in front of all the crew before slipping into a robe, so having this space puts me at ease.

At least I’ll have some privacy throughout this shoot.

“If you just wanna set your stuff down I’ll take you to meet Harry. He’s just now finishing setting up the bedroom set.” I take my coat off and hang it over the back of the chair and then place my purse on the coffee table. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” I stick my hands in my pockets to hide the fact that they are shaking and follow after Jenny. For being as tiny as she is she sure can walk fast and I find myself wishing she would slow down so I can prepare myself.

The set is a normal looking bedroom. It’s cozy, warm, and inviting. The bed is dawned in white sheets, a white duvet, and a tan throw with brown pillows. The bedside tables are decorated with items to make it look like someone actually lives here and a mirror leans against the wall across from the bed.

There aren't a lot of people in this room right now, some are setting up certain light fixtures and others are testing out the equipment, but I immediately know which one is Harry. Dressed in long black flared trousers and a matching black shirt, he stands next to the mirror, angling it so it perfectly aims at the head of the bed.

He hasn’t noticed us yet, but when Jenny clears her throat he looks up in the mirror and immediately makes eye contact with me. “Harry, this is -”

“Honey Rose.” My fake name rolls off his lips and I find myself begging to hear him use my real name. “I know who she is, Jenny. Would be kind of hard not to know.” Harry stuffs one hand in his pocket and makes his way over to me. “I’m Harry.” He extends his hand out to me and it takes me a second before I do the same.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Harry.” I hope he doesn’t see the school girl blush on my cheeks, but I can’t help but find myself so taken with him. His hair falls perfectly in waves in a slight middle part that frames his face. There is a shadow of facial hair surrounding his jaw and around his lips, drawing attention to the pinkness of them. His eyes shine bright compared to the darkness of his hair; beautiful sea green staring straight at me. The tattoos on his arm stand out and I find myself looking over each and every one, but then I remember that I’m still holding onto his hand. I let go rather quickly and he chuckles at me. “I’m excited to work with you. I’ve heard nothing but great things.”

“Well, I should hope so.” Two dimples pop out on the sides of his cheeks as he smiles while pushing his hair back and off his forward. “But I’m curious, are they talking about my directing skills or how I fuck?”

I keep myself composed, even though all I want to do is tell him that my information is coming from the videos that I’ve watched of him. I gather up all the confidence in my body and say, “Both, but I guess I’ll only be seeing one of those talents today.”

A confused look flashes across his face, but he doesn’t let it last. His lips perk up and he quietly says, “We’ll see about that.” Now it's my turn to be confused. I open my mouth to ask him what he means by that but he stops me. “Honey, would you mind joining me in my office? I just want to go over a few things with you, if that’s all right.”

“Of course. Whatever you need.” Harry places his hand on my lower back and escorts us out of the room. His office isn’t too far away, but the walk is filled with a thick tension. He ushers me in, and tells me to sit on the couch like the one similar to mine in my dressing room. Harry takes a seat next to me, not sitting behind the desk which honestly makes me feel more equal to him.

“As you may know, my videos are praised for how real and authentic they seem. I don’t do the corny pizza delivery guy bullshit or any of those cheesy porns that have terrible dialogue and even worse acting. I like to make everyone on set feel comfortable, so that they can actually feel the pleasure instead of faking it. Does that make sense?” He crosses one of his legs over the other, and the way his trousers move it showcases his thick thighs bulging under the surface of the fabric.

“It makes perfect sense, and I really respect what you are doing here. Most of the time they just throw me in a room with a guy and just tell me to fuck him.”

“I can promise you that’s not gonna be the case today, but I do need to ask you a few questions. You can answer whichever ones you want or not if you don’t want to.” I nod my head at him, telling him I understand. That smirk reappears on his face, but this time I don’t get so flushed. The way he’s looking at me makes me want to sit on top of his desk and have his head be buried in my cunt. “I just need to know so I can fuck you just how you like it.”

“Y-you’re gonna be the one fu- in the scene with me?” My heart rate picks up in anticipation and I hope I didn’t just hear him wrong. He hasn’t done a video in such a long time. Why would he start now?

“That wasn’t the original plan.” Harry stands up, walking closer to me before crouching down in front of me. His knees touch mine and even through the fabric of both of our clothes I can feel his warm skin. “When I was looking for the girl for this shoot I came across one of your videos.” Harry’s fingertip grazes over my knee and he starts to draw circles on it. “It was just you, laying on a bed, with a vibrator on your pretty little pussy.” He looks up at me, and grabs a hold of my jaw. “You had beautiful moans coming from these lips. I just knew that I couldn’t sit there and watch someone fuck you, not when I could be the one doing it.”

I turn my head, still keeping eye contact with him. His thumb that was on my jaw now rests against the skin of my lips. I puker them, softly kissing his thumb before taking it into my mouth for just a moment. “You want to fuck me, Harry?” His eyes are dark, lustfully watching as I kiss his thumb, suck on it, and then let it plop from between my lips.

“Oh, honey.” Harry moves his hand away from my face, placing it on my knee again. With both hands, he pushes my thighs apart and situates himself between them. “You have no fucking clue.” I burn under his gaze. His touch is light and teasing, kneading the muscles of my thighs while he looks up at me. “I still need you to answer a few questions for me. Can you do that for me, honey?”

“Please, call me Emma.” I don’t mind being called Honey. In fact it makes me feel confident and sexy, but right now I just want to feel real with him.

“Okay, Emma. Are you okay with me warming you up before we shoot? I can do it right here, spread you out and make you come on my fingers so you're more sensitive while we film. You need to be warm, wet, and ready for me.”

Harry kisses up the length on my pant leg, placing his lips right on top of the sem and stopping when he gets close to my center. “Yes, please make me come, Harry.” After I give him the okay, he doesn't waste a second before undoing the button on my pants and pulling them down my legs. He takes in the sight of my red lace thong and by the way the air creates a cool sensation on my panties, I know I’m wet for him; and he can see it.

“I’m gonna ask you a few questions, but you have to promise me that you’ll answer them truthfully, okay?”

Harry patiently awaits an answer, starting to slowly kiss up my thigh. He kisses both of my knees and continues to switch between both legs as he travels upwards until he reaches my midthigh and sits back up. “Yeah, I-I’ll answer them.”

“Let’s start with an easy one.” Harry drags his hands across my skin, nails scratching slightly. He finds my hips, tracing his thumb in the crease where my hip bends from sitting down. “Are you okay with me kissing you?”

“Yes, I actually prefer it.” With the grip on my hip, he pulls me to the edge of the couch so I’m barely even sitting on it. He leans into me, pressing his chest against mine as he tucks himself into my neck.

“Hmm,” His curls tickle my cheek, his sweet smell overpowers me, and his nose teases up my neck. “Is there anything that’s a hard no for you during sex?” I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

The fact that he isn’t even asking me these questions puts me at ease. Though I haven’t had a lot, my costars never asked me what I was or wasn’t comfortable with. The directors never cared, only making sure every piece of dialogue and every cue on the script was hit.

“You can do anything to me. If it’s you doing it, I know I’ll like it.”

“You’re stroking my ego here, Em.”

The tip of his nose grazes my jawline before it's replaced by his lips. He is still holding onto my hips and even though I love his hands there I wish he would touch me elsewhere. Just from him being this close to me, my cunt is slick and my clit is throbbing, waiting to be touched.

“I’ve watched you before. I know how you fuck, so anything you want to do go right on ahead. I can take you, Harry.”

“Oh, I have no doubts about that.” Placing a kiss on my cheek, he stands up and sits down next to me again. “Stand up.” Obeying, I stand up on shaking legs and turn to face him. Legs spread, arms stretched out along the back of the couch, and a smirk on his face, Harry sits there eyeing me up and down. “Strip for me. Let me see what’s mine for today.”

I cross my arms, grabbing the hem of my t-shirt and pulling it over my head. His eyes move to my chest, taking in the matching red lace bra. Harry takes one arm off the back of the couch to adjust himself in his pants as he continues to take me in. “You know, it’s not fair that I’m half naked and you’re still completely clothed.”

Harry clears his throat and reaches out to grab my hips to turn me around. “This isn't about me.” His fingers find the band on my underwear and my breath hitches when he starts to slowly pull them down. In the wake of the fabric, he kisses where it once laid. “So sit down on my lap.” Pulling on my hips, he sits my naked bottom half on his fully clothed lap. “Spread your legs.” I hook a leg over each one of his thighs and lean back onto his chest. “And let me make you come, so I can fuck you how I want later.”

The rings on his fingers are cold on my blazing skin. Touching over the expanse of my stomach, my hips, my thighs and briefly the tops of my breasts he teases me with everything I want while simultaneously avoiding the place I need him most.

My pussy is soaked with my arousal, dripping down and probably landing on his trousers, but at this moment I can’t find it in myself to care.

“Do you want me to just rub your clit and get you off that way, or do you want me fingers? Stretch you out a little bit so I fit nice and snug in you?”

I tilt my head to the side to find him already looking at me. Our lips are so close I fainting feel his skin, but we both don’t make the move to lean in; to fuel the fire we both feel growing. “Want your fingers. Please.”

Harry looks down at my lips for a brief second before turning his head away from me. Out of the corner of my eye I see him looking at my body that’s spread out for him and the lust in his eyes is unmistakable.

I take advantage of his head facing forward and tuck my face in the crook of his neck. He smells even better this close up. His smell is sweet, reminding me of walking into a bakery while also being smokey, like a fresh campfire on a fall evening.

I repeat his actions from early, gliding my nose across his neck. When his fingers finally touch my cunt I whimper into his skin. I accidentally bite into his neck from the shock of finally feeling him. “Hey. You can’t mark me yet, Em. Wait until later and you can leave your marks anywhere you want.”

The tips of his fingers trace over my entrance, gathering up all the wetness caused by him. He drags them up and uses my arousal to start slowly drawing circles on my clit. Instead of biting him I kiss down the side of his neck to try and quiet my cries of pleasure.

“Maybe I didn’t even need to warm you up. You were soaked before I even touched you.”

In my desire induced haze I accidentally say, “I always get so wet for you.” My cheeks heat up with embarrassment and if I could bury myself into his neck anymore I would.

“Oh?” His fingers speed up, making me squirm in his lap. “Are you telling me you’ve watched my videos while rubbing this little clit of yours? You’ve came from watching me fuck someone else. Is that what you’re telling me?”

From the bulge pressing into my ass, it’s obvious this is turning him on. I let my embarrassment slip away and just let myself be in the moment with him. “Yes, Harry. I’ve always wanted to fuck you.”

“Well, it’s my lucky day isn't it, baby?” He doesn’t warn me before filling my pussy with his fingers. Long, thick, and ring clad, his fingers work against my g-spot. Combined with the teasing and his relentless strokes on my clit, my stomach begins to tingle and the muscles in my cunt squeeze around his fingers.

“God, Harry. I’m so fucking close.” His movements are slow and skillful, not needing to go fast and hard to make me reach my end.

“You’re a sensitive little thing, aren’t you?” His fingers stop fucking me, but he presses his fingertips up into my g-spot and massages the spot that makes me see stars. Somehow he’s lifted the hood of my clit so he’s directly on my nerves. “Can’t wait to get you underneath me, so I can fuck you into the sheets. Spread your pussy out and take you just like I fucking want.”

I throw my head back on his shoulder, needing some fresh air. My lungs can hardly keep up with my shallow breaths and I’m so dizzy I feel like I could pass out. “Please, Harry. I need to cum.”

“You don’t have to ask me. Just let go, honey. Make a mess of me.”

And so I do. I feel myself clench around his fingers and my ears start to ring. The sound of his voice telling me how good I am filters through the noise, but for the most part I can’t focus on anything except the pure bliss running through my veins. Harry kisses my cheek, as he coaxes me through my orgasm. “Good girl, Em.”

I fully relax into his chest as I come down from the high. He slips his fingers out from me and puts them up to my mouth. “I would love nothing more than to taste you right now, but I want to make sure the first time I do it’s caught on camera.”

Harry drags my come across my bottom lip before slipping his fingers into my mouth. He lets me take my time cleaning his fingers up and he keeps eye contact with me the whole time.

“What do we do now?” I ask after his fingers leave my mouth.

“You are gonna go get a snack, get your hair and makeup done, and get dressed.” He pinches my bare hip which makes me yelp, but he just smiles at me. “But you gotta get off my lap so you can do that.”

It’s crazy to see him go from this sexy dominant male to someone who is also playful. It makes my heart beat faster in my chest when he looks at me with a smile.

I climb off him and go to grab a tissue from his desk to clean off the mess between my thighs. “Nope. None of that.” He snatches the tissue from my hand and puts it in his pocket.

“I can’t clean myself up?” I cross my arms over my chest and for a second I forget I’m just in my bra, but I’m reminded when Harry’s eyes travel down to my tits.

“No.” He walks over to my underwear that were haphazardly discarded and kneels before me. Tapping on the side of my ankle, he silently tells me to raise my foot so he can dress me. “While you are getting ready I want you to think about how wet you are. I want you to feel your come on your thighs and think about what we are gonna do. How I’m gonna fuck you. How I’m gonna make you come again.” He kisses my hip bone before standing up, dragging the fabric along with it. Harry makes sure it’s in place and snaps the band against my skin. “I’ll see you later, honey.”

Throughout getting my hair and makeup done I shift unfavorably in my seat. My underwear is absolutely ruined from my orgasm, but now it's slick with my want for Harry. I can’t stop thinking about what we are about to do.

In front of me lies my ‘script’. There isn’t much in it other than some lines I need to say. The premise of the whole video is a couple waking up tangled in the sheets together after being away from each other for a while.

I think about what I plan on doing to him as the girls around me talk amongst themselves. Usually I would partake in these conversations and make friends with them, but right now my brain can only focus on one thing.

They curl my hair, fluff it out and apply some light makeup to my face. I didn't want any foundation on because it will just get smudged anyway and I don’t want to look sloppy, so all I have on is some mascara and a light lip gloss.

A silk black robe is wrapped around my body with my skin bare underneath and matching black slippers are on my feet. It was awkard taking my clothes off in front of the wardrobe person, especially considering the poor excuse of fabric that was my underwear.

The air is cold in the hallway as I walk towards the studio room and I know everyone that passes me can see my nipples through my robe.

The room that was once filled with maybe five people now houses twelve. It’s hard to walk in the room with how many bodies there are and I barely see Harry through the crowd. I protectively shield my chest away from prying eyes and lower my head.

Harry has changed from earlier, now wearing a black fitted t-shirt that shows off his muscles and a pair of grey sweatpants. I can tell by the bulge in his pants that he isn’t wearing any underwear and the sight instantly makes my mouth water.

He finds my eyes across the room and at first he smirks at me, taking in my skimpy robe and the exposed skin on my thighs. He must see the apprehension in my eyes because he looks around the room and shakes his head. “Anyone who doesn’t absolutely need to be in here needs to get out.”

Disapproving sighs are heard around the room, but they don’t hesitate to listen to him. Harry is known for being a sweet and caring guy but I’ve also heard that he isn’t afraid to put his foot down when he needs to.

He waits until all unnecessary personnel exit the room, being left with the camera man and the sound lady. “Are you ready?” Harry kneels on the opposite side of the bed and puts his hands on his hips.

“More than ready.” I pull the blanket back, ready to slip under the covers and Harry does the same. “Do you usually wear that to bed?” I say referring to his outfit.

“I could ask you the same.” He grabs the sting that keeps my robe closed and tugs on it, not hard enough to open it, but just enough to pull me closer to him.

“No. I usually sleep naked. Shouldn’t we make this as natural as possible?” I wink at him and pull his hands so the string gets loose. The silk moves against my skin as the front opens, but I only allow Harry to see me.

His eyes drink me in, looking at every exposed piece of skin I have to offer. “Are you trying to be the director now? Trying to steal my job are you?”

“Maybe.” I shrug. “I bet I could do a better job.”

Harry reaches into my robe, pinches my hip and says, “Get that robe off and get under the covers.” The dimples that I’ve come to love poke out as I do as he says.

Harry walks over to the two other people in the room and says something inaudible as I get myself comfortable. He must have told them to leave, because after they check the equipment they both turn around and leave. I’m used to people seeing me naked now and I’m not ashamed of having sex in front of people. In all actuality it turns me on knowing that people are watching me and my partner, but we are only focused on each other.

“You didn’t have to kick them out. This isn’t my first rodeo.” I lay my head up against the headboard and watch as he starts to take his shirt off. No matter how many times I see his bare chest I still swoon every time. This is my first time seeing it in person and I can't wait to leave little love marks on him like he said I could earlier.

“I know. I didn’t want them in here.”

“Why?”

“Just didn’t want them to be in here.” He bends down to take his sweats off, only leaving him in his underwear, before climbing into bed with me.

“Won’t it be hard without them in here?”

Harry turns towards me and leans on his elbow. “Those cameras over there are already filming and there are mics around the room to pick up your pretty noises that men are gonna drool over, so no, it won’t be.” He pulls the blanket down to expose my breasts. Leaning forward he takes my nipple in his mouth and lightly swirls his tongue around it. “Just lay down, act like you are asleep, and then wake your loving boyfriend up so he can fuck you senseless, okay?”

“Whatever you say, director.” He chuckles at me and lays down. I press my naked body up against his half naked form and he groans.

“Should have thought the whole naked thing through. I already need to be inside of you, so let’s hurry up.” I laugh into his chest and pretend like I’m peacefully sleeping on his chest for a while.

Under the sheets, I discreetly sneak my hand from his tummy to the tops of his boxers. Being the professional he is, he doesn’t make any noise or give any indication that I’m close to touching him.

I feel guilty because he got me worked up already and I haven't given him anything in return, so I pretend to wake up and lovingly look over at him. To portray the act of being his girlfriend, I caress his face, push back his hair, and take in the way he looks while he’s relaxing.

I know he isn’t asleep, but he looks so cute and peaceful laying here like this with me. Throwing back the covers, I expose myself to the camera and run my hand along the top of his boxers. Harry stirs a little bit, trying to look like he’s waking up, but he keeps his eyes closed.

“I’ve missed you, baby.” I whisper to him while dragging his underwear down his narrow hips. His cock is half hard, laying against his stomach. I take him into my hand, and his warm skin feels so nice against mine. I position myself between his legs while working my hand up and down his shaft. “Wake up, Harry. You’ve been gone for too long. I need you.”

Once he’s fully hard, I put his tip in my mouth lightly sucking on it while my left hand reaches down to grab his balls and squeeze them. A little moan escapes him and he moves around more as he ‘wakes up.’ I take him further into my mouth, letting him tap the back of my throat before coming back up to lick at his tip.

I hunch over him more, so I’m on my knees as I blow him. I continue to bob up and down, letting him stay in my throat for longer periods of time. His hands sneak into my hair and pushes it away from my face so he can watch me. “You just have to have my cock in your mouth first thing in the morning don’t ya, honey?”

His dick pops out of my mouth and I replace it with my hand. I lay my head on his thigh, batting my eyelashes up at him while I jerk his dick in my hand. “I’ve just missed you, didn’t you miss me?” I pout my lip out at him slightly, playing into the needy and horny girlfriend role. Honestly, I don't have to even act that part. My pussy is a mess and I know the camera behind me is picking up on just how wet I am.

“Of course I did.” He grabs the side of my head and hovers me over his wet dick. “Now, put my cock back in your mouth so I can show you just how much I missed you.” I don’t know why he asked me because he doesn’t wait for me to lower my mouth on him all the way before he’s thrusting into my mouth.

Harry controls my head, fucking my throat while he lays under me. His moans are sinful, and make my cunt even more slick. I run my hands up and down his thigh, stopping over the tiger and scratching at it with my nails. “Fuck.” He moans at the pain and fucks my throat even harder. “Am I not fucking your mouth hard enough? Huh? You wanted me to go even harder?”

I pinch his hip, telling him it’s okay to keep going and he does. Harry’s hips come off the bed while he pulls my head down over and over again. Tears leak from my eyes from the pressure, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Throughout all my sexual experiences I don’t think any man has even been this vocal in bed with me. His voice is rough and raspy and his moans are deep and sultry. Every word he says drips off his tongue like honey.

Harry suddenly pulls out of my mouth and forces my head to look up at him. “Get up here now. Need this little pussy in my tongue now, before I fuck you.”

The thought of his mouth on me makes me squirm and I move fast at his words. I crawl over his body, touching his chest and arms on my way up. “Can I get a kiss first, please?”

“Don’t have to ask me, baby.” Harry grabs the back of my head and pulls me down to his warm lips. Kissing him feels exactly how I pictured. He’s soft but rough, fast but takes his time, and in control while making me feel like I hold the power. His tongue works against mine and I find myself loving the way he tastes.

I pull back from his lips, knowing if I don’t stop we’ll just kiss the entire time. If this was just for us, I would kiss him until my lips bruise and all the air evaporates from my lungs, but this isn’t just for us. Grabbing his cheeks, I open his mouth wide. “Stick your tongue out for me, baby. I need to make sure you’ll be wet enough to fuck my pussy with your tongue.”

“Don’t think I’ll need it with how wet you get, but I’ll never pass up the opportunity.” Harry winks at me as I spit into his mouth. My mouth is sloppy from the kiss we shared and the way he was relentless fucking up into my mouth causing a string of I admire how it looks sitting on his tongue, ready to be used.

Harry grabs my ass and pulls me until I’m straddling his head. He yanks my hips down, forcing me to fully sit on his face. His moan is unmistakable as he tastes me for the first time and I simultaneously moan at the feeling of his tongue on my clit.

Grabbing onto his hair for stability and also rocking my hips against his tongue I utter, “Fuck, Harry.” My clit is so sensitive from my orgasm and I know it wouldn’t take me much to finish again. His tongue licks from my entrance to my clit where he sucks it into his mouth and shakes his head to stimulate it further. I sound like I just ran a marathon with how heavy I’m breathing, but I can’t even find the time to be embarrassed about it.

It comes to a surprise to me when I feel his hand smack my ass once on each cheek, making my skin sting. Harry pulls away from my pussy just for a moment, “Can you not take me sucking on your little clit, baby? Does it feel too good?” He doesn’t wait for a response, just dives back into my cunt and sucks my clit into his mouth once again. As he shakes his head back and forth, his stubble on his cheeks rubs against the inside of my thigh creating a nice achy burn that I will feel tomorrow morning.

When he smacks my ass again, I cry out and lean my head against the headboard. “Keep doing that, Harry. You’re gonna make me cum.”

“You like me smacking your ass that much, honey?” I nod my head and whimper. He does it again and I nearly come just from that. “You’re such a dirty little thing.”

After a few more licks at my clit, I come all over his face and start shaking above him. My legs feel like jello and I don’t even know how I’m going to move from the position. “I could make you come on my face like that all fucking day, such a great thing to wake up to.” Harry realizes my weak legs and he runs his calloused hands over my hips and down my thighs. “You still want me to fuck you? Show you how much I’ve missed being deep in your little cunt?”

“Yes. Please, I need you inside me.” Harry reaches up and wraps his hand around my throat. Before I can even comprehend the fact that his long fingers, that I came around earlier, are around my neck he pushes me off his chest and down to the bed beside him.

Instinctively, my legs part for him and he gladly slides between them. His dick slides between my slick lips, tip lightly touching my still aching clit. “I can’t wait til I slip right into you.” Harry presses a light kiss to my lips, trailing them over to my cheek, across my jawline, and down my neck. As he goes further down, sucking light bruises into the skin of my breasts, he pinches my chin and turns my head until I’m watching us in the mirror. “But you gotta keep your eyes on me.”

“But-”

He climbs up my body, and whispers in my ear, “Listen to me, Em. Be a good girl and listen to me, okay?”

“O-okay.” My body shivers, hearing him call me my name during sex is everything I didn’t think I needed, but now it’s all I want. Harry trails my body in kisses again and this time I keep my eyes on him in the mirror. He buries his face into my cleavage, licking, kissing, and sucking my skin, leaving his mark behind. His large hands take in both of my breasts when he starts giving my stomach the same attention.

“Are you dripping yet for me? Do you think I could slip right in?”

“I don’t know. I guess you could always find out.” I tease. Harry turns his head and looks at me in the mirror. He takes in the smirk on my face and shakes his head while biting his lip.

“I love that mouth of yours,” Fingertips trace the outline of my lips, taunting me, “but I think I can find a different use for it.” Now fully hovering me, he grabs my hips and wraps my legs around his waist. “I want to hear those pretty little noises you make.” Sitting up on his knees, Harry holds my hip with one hand while lining his cock up to my entrance. “You think you can do that for me? Can you tell me how good I’m fucking you?”

“Yes, Harry. Just please, fuck-” Before I finish my sentence, Harry is already pushing into me, stretching my pussy out just for him. We both moan out at the feeling, and my nails dig into his abs. Red angry marks are left over the ink of his butterfly tattoo and I wish I had the time to admire the marks I made.

“Yeah, that’s good.” Harry finally sinks into me all the way and both of his hands are now gripping my hips with a fierce strength. “Mark me like that, baby. Mark me however you want.”

When my nails dig into his biceps he hisses and starts fucking into my relentlessly. Harry thursts into me while also using his grip on me to fuck my cunt onto his cock. The sound of our skin slapping against each other and the pleasure we are giving each other fills the room.

I find myself thankful that he kicked everyone out. Usually in these situations I find myself faking the moans, the pleasure, on my face, and the way my body is moving, but with him everything is natural.

I look at us in the mirror, with Harry now hovering over me and whimpering my name over and over again in my ear. His back muscles bulge and claim my attention as he fucks into me, deep and slow. His pelvis stimulates my clit every time he pushes deeper in me and I reluctantly take my eyes off him to throw my head back in pleasure.

“Takin’ me so good, Em.” He captures my lips in a kiss and our tongues clash. “I’m gonna need you again, but next time I want you all to myself.” Harry picks up in pace and I can barely hear him over the sound of my own moans. “Just for us, no one else.”

“I-I think I like the sound of that.” I clench down around his dick that’s soaked in my arousal and I feel the ache in my stomach, begging me for a release.

“But you like getting fucked in front of people, don’t you? You like getting fucked like the slut that you are?” He’s so close to my ear that no one will be able to hear his words in the video, but I can and it’s making me drip past him and onto the bed sheets.

If I answer him I know it would be loud, so all I do is nod. Harry slips out of me and I whimper at the empty feeling. It doesn’t last too long though, because Harry flips me around till I’m laying on my stomach and quickly fills me up again.

“I wish I could fuck you in every position, but you feel too good squeezing me.” The tip of his dick massages directly into my g-spot with every thrust he gives me and I bite the pillow to subside my screams. “Nuh uh,” Harry wraps my hair around his hand and tugs my face to the side so I’m looking at the mirror. “Need to see the pretty face as you come.”

The grip on my hair is released and placed back on my hips to angle them upwards. I slip my hand between my legs and rub lazy circles into my clit. The small stimulation pushes me over the edge, and by the way Harry’s face scrunches up and the deep moans escaping him I know my own orgasm caused his.

Breathlessly he falls forwards; forehead resting against the space between my shoulder blades. We stay like that for a while, catching our breaths and taking in each other. Harry kisses the skin of my back repeatedly as I sink into the sheets with him still inside me.

“Well, Em. I think we made a good video.”

#writing #harry styles #harry edward styles #smut #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styes blurb #harry styes x reader #pornstarry

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habitsbf · 29 days ago

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BARK BARK i love the title of bark bark anon anyways

Saw a post of you answering a question about headcannons, sooo what are some more of your HABIT headcannons? cuz they sound quite interesting

HABIT HEADCANONS :D

hiii bark bark anon!! you didnt specify if you wanted serious headcanons or silly ones, so im just gonna toss in a mix of both 🐇 (some of these are kinda stupid, but whatever)

- if you take a look at his villains wiki page, you see that HABIT has a couple ACTUAL real murderers and whatnot listed as aliases. im assuming these aspects of his character were just kinda tossed in by the guys to make him more hated (which, might i add, kinda backfired HAHA) since they arent important to his character nor do they even add anything to the series... and personally, i dont dig the idea of taking real cases and going "ohh, this silly fictional character dude WAS those guys!" SOOO i like to think HABIT just kinda lied about being them. he used it as a scare tactic, for shock value, to seem worse than he actually is, and just for bragging purposes.

- he favored the 1900s. theres a lot of small details that hint to this being canon (recently went over a few in a previous post of mine) but obviously i cant just go and call it canon as much as id like to. CANONICALLY speaking though, his use of certain slang was popular back then, same with some of his music taste and style choices. the dudes been around for a LOOONG time, and EverymanHYBRID makes sure to point out quite a bit of his activity from around then for lore purposes. i <3 that old man

- Nightmare Of You enjoyer. based off of his canon known music taste, i believe he might like them. definitely not all their songs but some of them. this isnt any music he would play while torturing someone like he did with Rob Zombie, but something he would listen to while like... reading. or something like that. idk. maybe he would use it to taunt people like he did with a few Frank Sinatra songs. (i might be biased though simply because i like this band a lot and associate him with one of their songs)

- HABIT has a sweet tooth, but is also picky when it comes to sweet things. in "The day the world ended" he is seen digging through a jar full of candy and gets excited when he finds reeses, he tosses almond joys and mini choco stroopwafels (what the hell are those? HELP.) to the side and goes "WHAT IS THAT. WHAT IS THAT?" as if hes offended by them. he also baked maple bacon cookies once, so it makes me think he just isnt fan of things that are OVERBEARINGLY sweet? reeses and maple bacon cookies arent extremely sweet.

i also think he probably just doesnt indulge in sweets that often, so when hes finally able to get his hands on some hes like FUCK YES!!!!! (hence why he refused to share any of the reeses with Vinny. greedy as hell 🙄)

- HABIT watches horror movies just to critique them and make comments like "I COULDVE DONE THAT SO MUCH BETTER." "I WOULDVE USED A DIFFERENT TACTIC." "THAT CHOICE OF WEAPON IS SO BASIC AND BORING."

i also believe he prefers classic, older horror films over newer ones. i mean, who doesnt?

- Postal player, HABIT canonically likes video games but i dont recall him ever mentioning any specific ones? (feel free to correct me if im wrong there) im mainly talking about Postal 2 2003 and maybe Postal 1997 to be more specific. i dont see him as someone who plays video games often though, it would be more of a last resort bored out of his mind kind of thing.

#headcanons #I WISH I HAD MORE TO LIST #my mind kinda went blank #HABIT #everymanhybrid #slenderverse #HABIT everymanhybrid #bark bark anon

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jinisnuggets · 3 months ago

Text

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 𝒞𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝐹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈

PAIRINGS | Kim! Seungmin x Fem! Reader

GENRE | Enemies to Lovers AU

WORD COUNT | 3.1k

WARNINGS | Breakups, mental health issues, dealings imposter syndrome, workplace tension

SYNOPSIS | Kim Seungmin had only ever dated one person in his lifetime, and that person would later become his future CEO after they both swore to succeed and accomplish their dreams without the assistance of their biggest supporter, each other.

NETWORKS | @starlit-network @blossomnet

TAGS | @eridanuswave

A/N | This fic feels a bit Kdrama(y) and I spent a lot of time writing it, so I hope it can get at least 2 comments or helpful reblogs 🥲👍

In the city of Seoul, Novara Studios became one of the biggest independent film agencies. The company and its employees had broken many records, earned many rewards, and had a large-loyal fanbase.

And the CEO? No different.

L/n Y/n, a top and well known superintendent of the industry who has participated in many hit shows’ production and story writing. She only hired the best of directors, editors, producers, and actors, resulting in a large mass of high quality TV production. Some of the biggest shows from the label included Crimson Truth, Wings of Eternity, and Tides of Life.

When it came to Novara Studios, their viewers could expect no less than perfect. There was no such thing as a flop show when it came to this enterprise as every single series and movie included a realistic, relatable, and enjoyable plot which always made sense and added up.

The company was established less than a decade ago, so how was it already driven so highly to the top?

The question was fairly simple to answer.

Kim Seungmin, a highly respected singer at the time had participated in one of the studio's first ever releases as the male lead. Which led to a massive breakout from the public towards the company. Success was everywhere: streams of series came in large numbers, and the public began watching the previous shows from the agency. Merchandise was released and the sales were huge; all because of one actor.

Since then, the company has released hit after hit show; whether a big star would be present in the cast or not, it would be watched and loved. Small actors became huge and admired for their talent, the label would earn good profit and pay their actors fairly based on their role importance in a series, even smaller roles earned good money.

So where is the negative outcome in all of this?

One wouldn't expect something negative in a company that seems to have it all. But well, maybe that one issue just happened to be a little personal- tied back to the root and core of the agency, involving someone who used to be the most special human to them.

And maybe it was the one person who was also the reason behind the success received from the industry. Or perhaps, vice-versa.

————

The bus was slow and quiet. Passengers with headphones on their head and phones in their hands were sitting around, all waiting to reach their destination in the depths of the night.

There were only around 4 people on the bus, it was late and Seungmin had fully expected to be alone on his trip home. It was what he wanted, if not.

Work had ended later than expected and he found himself on the bus due to his car refusing to start up last minute. He couldn’t call anyone due to how late it was, so he simply picked up all items of value and pushed them into his bag.

His headphones were on and he was listening to some relaxing and unwinded songs, the sound of the singer's voice echoing beautifully in his head as he stared out the window into the stunning streets of Seoul.

The bus was dark, only a couple lights flicked on not including the phone screens of the other passengers. As Seungmin was in the back, it didn’t bother him other than the occasional glimpse of a reflection on the window.

“Shoot…” He quietly groaned to himself, lifting his head from the glass and unzipping his bag.

That’s when it fell.

The picture he had forgotten about.

“A singer you say?”

He nodded, fully expecting some type of judgement by the unrealistic aspiration he yearned for. It was more of a vision he held for the future that had little to no chances of occurring. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life yet other than possibly pursuing a career in singing, something he enjoyed. Even if he managed to make it happen, there was no guarantee it would take off.

However, instead of bringing him down to earth or hitting him with a sense of sagacity, your face lit up and you grew excited.

“You’d be amazing at that! You’re already a magnificent vocalist!” you optimistically exclaimed, clapping your hands in awe as he slightly tilted his head, unable to hide his gaiety from your unexpected response.

“Are you not going to say anything about it? Like it’s ridiculous or impractical?” He finally questioned, catching you off guard.

You chuckled, shaking your head in denial. “Why would I? In fact I have a pretty ‘ridiculous’ and ‘impractical’ dream myself.” You responded with a sarcastic tint to your voice. He sat beside you, staring in astonishment from the statement.

“Nothing that you wanna do is impractical. You could eat the world if you wanted to.” He assured, to which you nodded.

“I would say the same for you.” You muttered. He immediately looked at you and began speaking before you cut him off.

“Have some faith in yourself, will you? You’re more capable than you can imagine. You’re seriously a genius in so many subjects; there are just no limits when it comes to you. You’re simply able to accomplish anything you want if you really put yourself to it. Just believe in yourself.” You smiled, his expression visibly changed to one of relief.

You were the person that inspired him to change his view on life. You gave him the confidence he needed. Anytime he felt upset you were there: when he lost an important friend or someone made fun of him, you were by his side, supporting him in the times he needed it the most even when his suffering appeared to be silent.

Overtime, he became good at hiding his emotions from the outside world, that included you.

You went from the person he trusted most to the one he swore to contain his vulnerability around. It wasn’t his fault, the culprit was his developing imposter syndrome; and maybe you were partly the reason for it.

Two slow knocks came at his door, he couldn’t hear them through his tears.

Sometimes he had erratic breakdowns from his overthinking habits. The fear of making mistakes and goals that weighed down so heavily on him. His relationship with you felt like a burden rather than a piece of enlightenment or mirth; the fear of not being good enough, or not being able to provide what he should felt so substantial.

The thoughts consumed him, so much he hadn’t realized you entered his room and sat down beside him.

“Seungmin.” You muttered; tone serious and dissatisfied.

He flinched hearing your voice, forgetting he had given you a spare key to his apartment. He slightly smiled seeing your face, wiping his tears trying to put himself back together,

“Y/n, I didn’t see you.” He nervously mumbled, but you already knew that and more.

That night, you ended things.

The breakup made him realize his mistakes perhaps, as he made the effort to finally change. He dedicated himself to his studies and put in any hard work necessary for success. Finally, he collaborated with producers and released his first album in March, 2018.

His confidence rose once more, feeling accomplished by his achievements.

He realized he couldn't take all the credit; a significant portion of his success was thanks to you. You stood by him throughout the journey, and he never once pointed fingers or harbored resentment over the breakup. He fully grasped the situation and acknowledged his mistakes from that time. However, unable to change the past, he chose to look ahead and eventually became a part of the revolutionary agency, Novara Studios.

Though he was a singer, he wanted a fresh start in a new industry; something to further boost his career.

His awareness at the time was limited. Information on you was low and no name was ever mentioned in any articles he read about the company. Of course, this wasn't something he worried much about considering the agency had only been established a year after his admission and had just begun promoting themselves at the time.

If he would've known that you would've been the CEO of the company; he would've searched somewhere else.

But he wouldn't deny that he truly felt fortunate to be able to work with you once more.

————

He entered the headquarters and set his stuff down. Organizing his belongings and beginning to walk over to the stylists room. Filming started at 9 am, so he needed to be ready by then.

“Kim Seungmin.” He heard a voice call from a distance, immediately catching his attention and making him look in the direction where it came from.

“Good morning chief.” He smiled as you came into better sight.

You glanced up at him and smiled back in a friendly manner as you quickly broke eye contact and looked back down at your hands and handed him the envelope. The tension was evident.

“When I came in this morning, I realized your car was still in the parking lot so I assumed you had some issues with it last night. I wanted to ask if you needed me to call a towing company so they could fix your vehicle.”

He was caught off guard, but he beamed in appreciation as he nodded, and just as quickly as you came, you vanished out of sight.

He sighed; today was the first day of filming a new drama that the entire company had worked hard on to begin. Seungmin would be playing the role of the male lead who also happened to be the main character of the overall show. It had taken months of preparation so he was relieved everything was finally ready.

He walked into the stylist room, allowing them to apply light makeup and dressing him in proper attire for the first few shots.

He sat in the lobby, watching the others as actors began to pile up and sit on the couches around him.

“Seungmin!”

He glanced over at his coworker, Jisung, whom he had been fairly close with approaching him.

“New day, new role.” He said, causing Seungmin to chuckle in response— shutting his book and shifting his full attention.

“You didn't come here for no reason; what is it?” He questioned as Jisung shrugged.

“Been hearing a little bit of rumor around the company. Apparently, Yuri resigned from the role of female lead a week ago.” he said, immediately shocking Seungmin.

“What!? So suddenly?” He exclaimed, causing Jisung to nod.

“I was shocked too, but it appears to be true as she's not present here today, and it was strictly stated that all participating actors had to be present today.” Jisung added.

Seungmin took a moment to process his words, glancing down before looking back up at him and sighing.

“Do you know what we're going to do then?” He asked as Jisung shrugged.

“No idea, but I heard that CEO L/n will be in charge of direction for the next couple of weeks.”

Seungmin’s expression dropped as he heard his colleague complete his sentence. Suddenly, the events that took place in the morning made sense as he listened to every word.

“Chief will be directing the series?” He asked as Jisung nodded.

“That’s what I said.” He responded.

It wasn’t common to have you be present in the main building, as your office was located in a separate entrance which didn’t connect to this one. You normally stopped by a couple times during filming, however you were often busy with your own things and didn’t have time to be present. He doubted you had only come to remind him of his car.

The intercoms suddenly came on, colleagues checking their phones the moment it spoke.

‘Everyone in the lobby, please report to the studios. I repeat, Everyone in the lobby, please report to the studios.’

Those in the lobby stood up, walking over to the studio rooms to be directed into their next move. Filming wouldn’t be taking place in the building, everyone needed to be directed out and driven to the location where it would be happening.

Surely, as they arrived, you were standing in the front with a small paper— directing everyone to their van. You glanced up at him, although avoided extended eye-contact and signaled both him and Jisung to their van.

Soon enough, you all arrived at the small, traditional hanok located in a small neighborhood; the neighborhood itself wasn’t actually populated but was more of a tourist location— of course it had been closed off for film purposes.

You escorted 3 actors out, him and Jisung along with an older woman who would play the role of their mother. The film crew stepped out of their own separate van and followed inside the building. Setting up their cameras and equipment.

The house had been cozily decorated, looking full of life even after years of being void from it. Seungmin walked around, investigating all corners of the home.

“It’s in such good condition despite being abandoned for over 2 decades.” He turned to Jisung, who nodded in response as he touched the light wooden walls.

“Right, the paint isn’t chipped or anything,” he added.

The entire drama was aiming for a sense of nostalgia. The main character living in a hanok was more than just nostalgic but also aesthetically pleasing. However, to him, a hanok was more than just his temporary home, but also a significant part of his past; his real past.

You walked in, noticing them just casually becoming familiar with their new home.

“Hey, you both can look around later; we need to get filming.” You proclaimed, causing them both to turn around and nod.

————

The dark skies derived quickly, and so did the cold temperatures. Seungmin wrapped the blue crocheted scarf around his neck and covered his hands with the paired mittens. He threw his cross bag over his shoulder while waving goodbye to his colleagues and making his way out of the property, walking to his car with the keys in hand.

The parking lot was almost empty by that point, it made sense, it was nearly midnight.

He opened the driver side door and stepped in, preventing the door from shutting with his leg as he turned on the car and allowed it to heat up.

He was about to shut the entrance and drive his way back home, however, he looked into his rear view mirror and noticed a car behind him, one he recognized to be yours with you outside and investigating the tire.

Slowly, he smiled, lightly chuckling to himself. He opened the door and walked over to the car with his hands in the small cozy pockets of his jacket.

“Why aren’t you parked in the superintendent lot?” He questioned, causing you to flinch and immediately turn around with your hand on your heart, gaze immediately falling to his attire.

“Excuse me?” You mumbled as he chuckled once more.

“This is the employee lot, as the CEO you should be in the superintendent lot.” He answered, ducking down and looking at your tires, none having any visible damage or impairment.

“Will it not turn on?” He asked as you slightly nodded your head, continuing to refuse eye contact. He couldn’t help but smile seeing you that way, it made his heart feel a little lighter.

He stood up, adjusting your coat before you quickly pulled away.

“I don’t need your help, these are things I can deal with myself.” You murmured.

Silently, he nodded in understanding.

“I apologize.” He bowed, staying in that position for multiple seconds before standing back up.

“But at least, allow me to drive you home.” He mumbled, straightforward yet timid.

You looked at him, unknowing of how to answer the question; yet again, it wasn’t like he gave you the opportunity to as he was already making his way over to his car, glancing back at you before entering and shutting the door behind him.

You remained in spot for multiple moments, ultimately sighing, locking your car and walking over to the passenger side, shutting the door behind you.

He couldn’t help but beam as he put the car in drive and began making his way onto the driveway.

The majority of the ride was silent, you leaned your cheek against the fist which rested on the window and stared blankly at the streets. You found yourself stealing glances at the man who used to be your only, unable to catch a grip of the one question you wanted to ask, yet refused to.

“Why do you still have it?” Your voice spoke, void of all emotions with a slight tremble.

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, gulping at the question and feeling the familiar sense of anxiety wash over him.

“Have what?” He muttered, making the turn onto a separate road.

“The clothes. The coat, scarf, mittens, why do you still have it!?” You nearly yelled, feeling slight tears swell up in your eyes as your throat warmed.

He kept calm, refusing to take his eyes off the road as he listened to you.

“It’s special to me.” He responded, however, that only caused the frustration in you to spread.

“Why? Why is it that I work so hard to finally be able to accomplish my dream yet the moment I do you have to come in and ruin everything? Why is it that the universe always makes me rely on you? My confidence, success, everything is always about you! Why can’t I do something for myself!?” You held your head, feeling the same painful ache in your heart as you did that day.

The car came to a halt as he turned over to face you, the tears streaming down your cheeks, fingers tugging your hair in indignation.

Tears warm, you slowly felt his hands wrap around your torso and pull you closer, embracing you warmly with your head resting on his shoulder.

“I never realized the pain I had caused you.” He muttered, embracing you warmly with a care you hadn’t felt in so long, it almost felt surreal.

The frustration and resentment your heart once felt all faded with his words and touch; an overwhelming sense of security was all that was left, the tears had stopped flowing and so had your sense of time. You didn’t notice your own hands wrapping around him in a position that felt so nostalgic, something you hadn’t felt in over eight years.

It was comforting, comfortable, and reassuring.

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rrezshifts · 2 months ago

Text

𝓜𝙚 𝖔𝙣 𝙨h𝙖y𝙣e 𝙜u𝙚𝙨s𝙚𝙨

i𝙣 𝙢y ꜱᴍᴏꜱʜ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴛʏ

Rating My Cowrokers’ Desk Setups

04/11/23 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: as i started at smosh barely a couple months before this video was filmed, shane had immense difficulty guessing mine, which no one could blame him for. he tried to look up close at different elements of the setup because there was a lot there. but at the end of the day he made a educated guess and missed the mark. when he found out it was mine he complimented it then moved on.

Can Shayne Guess Our Favorite Games?

05/16/23 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: again he hasn’t known me for very long at this point, so he doesn’t know much about my video game taste. what he does know is that i play too much stardew valley. and since my picks were towards the end of the video, he was able to accurately guess me.

Can Shane Guess Our Favorite Movies?

08/25/23 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: at this point, my time at the office has included a few instances of me trying to convince our coworkers to watch twilight or reveling about twilight with a cast member. and this would often occur during a video shoot. so shayne was well aware of my love for twilight. i’m also an open star wars cinematic universe enjoyer, so adding those two movies up he guessed it was me confidently.

Can Shayne Guess Our Favorite Shows?

09/08/23 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: he honestly had no god damn clue. i don’t talk about the shows i love because i don’t have many favorite shows. he guessed based on the energy of the shows displayed and who in the office he thinks matches it. but he guessed wrong! when spencer pointed out the greek mythology aspects, he felt stupid. (ignore how echo hadn’t come out yet… in this reality her show was prioritized and actually given effort and love in the mcu)

Can Shayne Guess Our Music Taste?

11/08/23 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: while i had been known to answer with this band as my favorite artist anytime someone asked as they were getting to know me, shane was stumped. the three artists were all three different genres and he couldn’t figure it out. and spencer tried helping him by stating it was obvious and even sharing the same facts i would spill about them to people. eventually he got it and guessed me correctly.

Can Shayne Guess Our Fav YouTubers?

01/19/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: he was genuinely lost, i don’t talk much about what i consume on youtube to him. spencer? yes. but spencer didn’t know that, so when he was giving hints he wasn’t as helpful as shane needed. i wasn’t the only one with a reaction channel on their list, but he remembered i was weirdly into those kind of channels, and he was at the start of the list so he threw me out as a guess. and he got it.

Can Shayne Guess Our Favorite Books?

03/06/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: i’m known for my love of twilight and its campiness. my gushing about the series of movies continues into when i talk about the books, which i have also read. and also hated the more i went on reading them. shayne knows i don’t read many books, but he also knows twilight were the only books i annotated. so he confidently answered me when he saw my picks.

Shayne Guesses Our Celebrity Crushes

04/17/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: as soon as shayne saw mine he burst out laughing, and as spencer was the one who helped create the slideshows, he knew why he was laughing and laughed with him. by this point, i’ve been a part of smosh for over a year and am known for “jokingly” having a crush on spencer and consistently flirting with him. so shayne knew immediately that this was my top 3. though neither of them said anything about it, just a “yeah… okay, yeah” while chuckling.

Can Shayne Guess Who Drew Him?

07/24/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: he had no clue. i do not draw. can not draw. he knows this. he could see the artist of this drawing could not draw. and he pulled an educated guess out and hit it straight on.

Can Shayne Guess Our Fridges?

09/11/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: when he first saw the fridge, the organization of it all threw him off my scent. but then he saw the red bulls and the apple sauce and he was just like “yeah this is theo”. everyday i slurp on apple sauce! and everyday im drinking a red bull, and it will kill me!

Can Shayne Guess Our Kids Photos?

10/02/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: he was so ass at this one he couldn’t even guess the most obvious of the children’s photos. and since this is a photo of me pre transition, the little girl photo wasn’t what he was expecting to be associated with me, so he was out of luck to begin with. he didn’t comment on if it looked like me or not when it was revealed to be me, out of respect i believe.

Can Shayne Guess Our Wish Lists?

12/13/24 screenshot from the video:

synopsis: i am like well known around the smosh office for being the office witch (aka pagan). and on top of that, at all times i have an oracle deck with me. i don’t often take it out to do readings for other people, but i will if someone asks. but as soon as shayne saw an oracle deck, he thought of me. and when he read the other items, he was sure it was me too.

this took me WAYYYYY too long to make!!! i edited all the screenshots myself to reflect my answers to the prompts, with only some minor timing mistakes. it was a lot of work all together, but really enjoyable to do!! so thank you for any attention this gets or you can give !!

#rrez’s smosh reality #shiftblr #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting antis dni #shifting blog #shiftblr community #smosh dr #shifting community #shifting realities #shifting awareness #shifting motivation #shifting #shifting diary #rrezshifts

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on-a-lucky-tide · 5 months ago

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Hello, I am once again annoying you with music+film recs

So, this is a song "Planes come first (and girls later)" from a 1945 soviet film Небесный тихоход (wiki says in English it's Heavenly slug, which is extremely cute)

The film is about three soviet pilots that swore not to fall in love with women, because planes come first, but obviously by the end it all changes. It's a very kind movie that tells about female pilots crew (I wonder if it/similar experience influenced Nikolai a little in his treatment of women as capable equals), but I thought about your headcanon that Nikolai is strictly gay. So I thought, maybe you can turn this scenario and song around, like it's not just a pilot's dedication to his craft that never let him seek a wife, but also, you know. The fact that he's never wanted a wife in the first place. And maybe Nik uses this song (and the title phrase that became a saying on its own) in day to day life, and then bam, there comes Price and suddenly it's not planes first.

And maybe a slight confusion about Nik's sexuality. I don't know how enjoyable such a story would be for you to write, but in any case, it's a good song from a good movie.

And also there's another masterpiece movie from 70s about soviet pilots, В бой идут одни "старики" (Only "old men" are going into battle), this one is legendary and I just highly recommend if you're interested. It is sad though (at least it was for me, but I watched it really young). There.

Have a nice week!!

Juju, I frickin' adore this, omg.

I still have your other ask for winter break so I can watch the film and formulate a proper response. It's like when you sit down at an expensive meal and the champagne costs three figures; new, requires savouring.

But becoming a workaholic to avoid uncomfortable truths about yourself? That's like Toby Carvery levels of comfort food familiarity.

Nik, who first heard that song and used it to explain away his lack of interest in women while his peers were all starry-eyed over the barrack bunnies. Perhaps he even jokingly refers to it when they rib him for his years' long dry spell. Young, fit pilot should be rolling in offers for dances and one night stands, but he isn't.

It's not that he doesn't love women. He does. His mum is his idol. He joined the air force instead of any other armed service because he read about the Night Witches (Hочные ведьмы, Nochnye Vedmy); he grew up as a young boy reading about Colonel Marina Raskova and Major Yevdokia Bershanskaya. Those are his damn heroes. (My headcanon that Nik has a special love of world war two aviators and even took the name "Nikolai" after two of them remains ironclad.) It's just... he doesn't really want to kiss one, or... yeah, planes. That's what he's on this earth for.

Nik becomes the best airborne operator there is because when you're striving to be the best, there's no room to reflect on why your eyes linger on your brothers in arms more than their pretty girlfriends.

No time to deal with the loneliness that roils in your chest every time a holiday rolls around, or another wedding invite drops on your desk, or your mother sends another long letter asking whether there is... anything in your life besides your planes. 'Life is short, little bear.'

Then. Price.

21 years old, freckled, serious blue eyes.

As driven and single-minded as Nik is, John arrives just at the point in Nik's life when it's falling apart around him. When Nik is realising he must make a choice and reforge himself separate from everything he's ever known and loved because he's about to betray it all.

And Price is beautiful. He is just so breathtakingly, ethereally stunning. How does no one else see it? How is everyone so normal around him? Nik is infatuated.

Right down to the damn smell of him, sweat and a cheap Dove aftershave when he's not on an op, the way his smile crinkles up his entire face because Price feels too strongly for his body to contain it. The way he bounces on his toes, squints at shit that pisses him off, has to touch fuckin' everything. Nik even loves John's temper, because when something ignites him, he wields that rage like he wields a gun; with ruthless, deadly precision.

Nik wants him every way; emotionally, mentally, physically. He has a whole body reaction to Price's touch; a simple hand on his shoulder leaves him reeling. It takes every ounce of self control not to grab that palm and press it to his face, to taste the salt on John's skin and trail kisses up his wrist to that lopsided grin...

But, Nik can't have that. He can't... engage with that part of himself. Certainly can't risk losing John for something as unimportant as his yearning heart. So he does what any good friend should do. He is unwaveringly loyal even in the face of almost certain death, putting his life on the line again and again, just for the chance to feel John's hand on his back, hear his chuckle down the Comms, share a cigar with him as the sun sets and the blood dries.

"I brought bags..."

"Heh heh, ya fink of ev'ryfin'."

And Nik's entire body curls with pleasure.

Nik is just so, so in love with John Price.

And John Price is in love with Nik. He just doesn't think Nik wants him, because after all these years, he woulda said, right?

#captain john price #cod nikolai #nikprice #juju brings me the most amazing stuff #every little shred of it helps build and humanise nik in my head #it's like he draws a breath with each post #love ya mate

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miramemo · 1 month ago

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twenty three ♡

yesterday was, for the most part, quite awful. the night prior, my boyfriend got into a large fight w/ me, because i took us out for drinks and a movie, and he was feeling insecure about not paying. overall, that’s understandable and i tried to be reassuring about how i was happy to do it, to no avail. the morning of my birthday he was quite curt, with no birthday kiss to wake me or any surprises (again, that’s fine, i don’t need those things, but i try to go all out for his birthday, so it was quite disheartening). his family also did not wish me happy birthday, which is again hurtful, because when it is their birthdays, i tell them first thing and hug them, and my boyfriend has been one to get mad at me if i do not. i spent the morning alone, sobbing, until i forced myself out of bed to do the things i planned. i went and got myself a free matcha, and took my novel to the park to read. i then went to the photo shop to get some more film, and headed off to my school’s farmer’s market. i picked up some vouchers, a free pullover, and retrieved some carrots, dill, strawberries, lemons, + a pupusa from the market. i also took some shots of the construction on campus, and headed home. by this point, i had felt a little better, but when my bf arrived home, everything felt so dull again. he went off on me, and i decided to cancel my spa trip with my mom, as i could not stop crying. he got angry then that i had canceled, insisting that now my mom would think poorly of him (though i didn’t mention him once to her). we apologized to each other, and he offered to take me to a food hall to try to brighten me up. i picked him up from dropping off his work vehicle, and he surprised me with a bouquet. we headed to the market, split a lovely sandwich and took some more photos. when we split to use the restroom, i realized he had accidentally handed me his phone. i know i shouldn’t have, but something told me to check it (he cheats, often.). i just checked his recent instagram searches, and of course, found a girl he has known years ago in it. i kept calm, but questioned it on the way to the car. he exploded again, telling me that i am not his mother. he was rude to me throughout stopping at some abandoned railroads for photos, all the way till dinner at my family’s house. then the day turned lovely again; my family picked up food from my favorite childhood restaurant, and we watched jackass, much to the enjoyment of my younger brother, and to the dismay of my grandmother. my little brother also made me a large batch of crisp potatoes, my mother gave me a beautiful card, and my grandmother sent me money to buy some nice coffee/matcha syrups. they also bought me a strawberry cheesecake, and sang happy birthday. i burst into tears, and am so grateful for them. my bf and i returned home, watched a few episodes of Yellowjackets, and i drank a blueberry lemonade wine cooler. it was not an ideal birthday, but im grateful nonetheless ♡

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bonesfucker3000 · 3 months ago

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My one year anniversary of watching Star Trek and just rambling about how much I love Star Trek

Today is my one year anniversary of watching Star Trek (3rd of February 2024 was the first time i ever watched any form of Star Trek media) and I honestly can not believe it has been a year already. I know this will most definitely sound cringe and what not but I really do not care; Star Trek is such a comfort to me and it helped me through a quite shitty part of my life. I only watched it because @thetwinksainttwunking really loved it and would not stop yapping about it for years since we known eachother and I decided to give it a go. I only knew a few things about Star Trek: it's gay, Kirk and Spock love eachother (Spirk is the main reasons why I gave Star Trek a go) and Spock had to pretend he was Chinese (one of the first things twunking ever told me about Star Trek was that scene in The City On The Edge Of Forever, where Kirk and Spock have to lie that Spock is Chinese and he only looks like that because he got into an accident in a rice farm, I thought it was the funniest shit known to man...Still do) and I decided to give it a go, even though scifi was never my thing but hey I might actually enjoy it (i never thought I ever would had enjoyed it THIS much)

So on the 3rd of February 2024 me and @thetwinksainttwunking watched Star Trek 2009 together and I actually quite enjoyed it, so the next Day we watched Into Darkness, which I somehow enjoyed even more and actually made me intested in the franchise, wanting to watch more. I really enjoyed both AOS films, I thought they were fun, enjoyable and had a good plot, I really loved Kirk in both movies (I honestly started tweaking when he "died" in Into Darkness and when Pike died too because Kirk was yk in pain) On the same day Twunking showed me an episode of TOS The Naked Time aka Peak and may god I loved that episode so much, it just fun and silly (and I started tweaking when I saw Sulu shirtless too-) and that episode is the reason why I even considered and given a chance in watching TOS, because I just loved that episode alot (and from that day I started singing randomly 'ill take you home again....kathleeeeen') on the 15th of Feb I watched Wrath of Khan and on the 16th of Feb Search for Spock, on the 24th of March I began watching the original series and a year later...here I am completely obsessed and in love with this franchise, already finished with TOS, all TOS films, half way through TAS and nearly done with TNG-

Star Trek just means so much to me, I started watching it when i was in a bad and failing relationship which led to a horrible break up and Star Trek was a massive comfort to me during that time. I just loved watching TOS seeing the silly situations the crew were in and just overall loved seeing the characters (in the beginning it was just Kirk, Spock and Sulu i mostly cared for but later Chekov and Bones too because of my Bones obession), interacting with eachother and just in general seeing them. I absolutely loved it and still very much do. I also loved how Star Trek overall was optimistic about the future and the lessons they taught (even though some in TOS were outdated or not handled the best)

Man...I just love Star Trek so much...though I only liked it for a year, it really does mean alot and it will always hold a special place in my heart ❤️🖖

Thank you so much @thetwinksainttwunking for introducing me to Star Trek, I love you

#star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #spirk #star trek aos

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sundeathh · 2 years ago

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What about an imagine or hc about aizawa 'n s/o sharing their interests like what they like to do in their free time, books they loved to read etc something fluffy c: thx

I might have gone way beyond your request. But, hey, this is also self-indulgent! Anyway, I loved your request. I hope it fulfills what you had in mind. Sorry for the long delay, but it is done now.

Head-canon | Masterlist

Pairing: Aizawa × GN!reader | Words: 993

Fandom: BNHA | MHA | Tags: Cute & fluffy

In your rare moments of free time, Aizawa and his significant other would find solace in the simple pleasures of life, embracing their shared interests and creating a warm, loving heaven together.

As you are both avid bookworms, you would often cuddle up on the couch, each engrossed in your own novel. The room filled with the soft rustling of pages here and there, and every so often, you'd exchange a knowing glance, silently sharing the joy of a good story.

Cooking was another shared passion of yours. You would tackle intricate recipes, laughing at your culinary mishaps and celebrating your triumphs with soft cheers and known, loving glances.

Aizawa, surprisingly adept at chopping vegetables, would take charge of the savory dishes, while you would knack for baking meant a never-ending supply of delicious desserts.

Even mundane tasks like doing the laundry or cleaning the apartment became enjoyable when you did them together. You'd playfully argue about the most efficient way to fold laundry or who could scrub the dishes cleanest, all the while secretly reveling in the shared domesticity of it all.

Yet, beyond books and cooking, you found common ground in your love for stargazing. On clear nights, you'd lay a blanket on a rooftop, snuggling close under a blanket while tracing constellations and making up your own stories about the stars.

You also cherished the differences in your hobbies. While Aizawa might spend hours lost in a new mystery novel, you might be immersed in painting or sketching. you'd sit together, companionable in your silence, each respecting the other's passion.

Friday nights were designated movie nights. You'd take turns picking films and introducing each other to your favorite genres. Aizawa's penchant for action movies clashed amusingly with your love for romantic comedies, resulting in an eclectic movie list.

Sometimes, your most cherished moments were the ones where you merely sat in comfortable silence, the only sound the soft hum of your shared existence. You didn't need words to express your love; the presence alone was enough.

And as night would fall and the world would get quieter, you'd have heartfelt conversations about life, dreams, fears, and everything in between. Aizawa, usually a man of few words, found himself opening up more than he ever thought possible. And so did you.

You frequently surprised each other with little gestures of love. Aizawa might leave a cup of your favorite tea by your bedside when you had a rough day, while you would sneak love notes into Aizawa's attire pockets before he headed off to work.

You also respected each other's need for alone time. Aizawa might find solace in a quiet corner, lost in thought or grading papers, while you would pursue your artistic hobbies, creating your tranquil oasis.

On free weekends, sometimes you'd embark on nature walks, exploring the serene beauty of parks and local forests. Aizawa's observant nature meant he'd point out unusual flora and fauna while you captured the scenery through your camera lens.

You also compiled playlists of your favorite songs, making a blend of your music tastes. Whether it was Aizawa's preference for classic rock or your love for indie bands, your shared playlists were the soundtrack of your lives together.

Sometimes, you would also work out together. Staying healthy was an important goal for both of you. You'd engage in light workouts together, cheering each other on during yoga sessions or jogging through the neighborhood. Your laughter would echo through the air as you challenged each other to push harder, engaging in playful competition.

While you were both competitive, you always stuck to the playful part of it. You would indulge in board games on cozy evenings. Aizawa's strategic mind shone during chess matches while you reveled in the unpredictability of card games, creating delightful tension between you two.

Tending to the small garden you both had on the balcony became a joint project. Aizawa had a surprising green thumb, nurturing the plants with care while you added artistic touches with colorful flowers, painted vases, and other whimsical decorations.

Arts and crafts will always bring out your creative sides to life. You'd spend free afternoons painting, crafting, or even knitting, creating personalized gifts for each other or their friends, each piece a symbol of your shared love and content.

Occasionally, you'd embark on more spontaneous outdoor adventures. From impromptu picnics in the park to exploring nearby hiking trails, you savored the thrill of discovering new places hand in hand.

Late at night, you'd lie in bed, discussing your dreams and aspirations. Aizawa would share his goals with his students while you would talk about your artistic and work ambitions. In those quiet moments, you found inspiration in each other.

Random acts of kindness were a must between you two. From volunteering at local animal shelters to leaving surprise treats for your closest friends. Your shared altruism strengthened your bond even further and reminded you of the beauty in giving.

Sometimes, during quiet nights, you'd turn on some slow music and dance around your living room, shedding your accumulated stress and relying on each other's arms.

You often talked about your dream destinations and future travels. Aizawa, who had seen little of the world, would always listen with wonder to your travel stories, your shared excitement fueling your wanderlust.

Together, you planned your future, imagining a life filled with love, growth, and shared adventures. Your dreams intertwined, painting future moments where you continued to cherish each other, hand in hand.

In the tapestry of your shared lives, every moment was a thread that added depth and color to your relationship. You and Aizawa frequently cherished the uniqueness of your bond, celebrating your shared interests and the beautiful harmony you found in their differences.

Your love was a testament to the beauty of a life filled with shared moments and unwavering support, knowing that love wasn't just about grand gestures but the beauty of ordinary moments together.

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! Check the fixed post for requests & more details!

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joshcaladia · 2 months ago

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Mickey 17 — A Modern Masterpiece

I just watched Mickey 17 in the most run-down theatre that I think I've ever seen. There must've been 50 or so dead pixels in the bottom left corner. One of the front-left speakers was consistently fuzzy. It was also packed in the theatre, so we didn't get very good seats. Despite this, it was one of the most enjoyable theatre experiences I've had in years, maybe ever. The incredible score, VFX, acting, story, editing, cinematography, and anything else I've forgotten to mention, just blew me out of the water.

Some may be surprised that this was my first time seeing a Bong Joon-ho film, and after seeing Mickey 17, I'm surprised too. Every part of this movie spoke to me in a way I almost never experience in movies and TV. I'll be avoiding spoilers in this review, but a few major plot points will be mentioned.

The Score

The score was instantly immersing, with a seemingly impossible mix of hard and soft, modern and classical, always playing at just the right volume, at just the right time.

The Effects

The visual effects were consistently flawless, with only a few mere moments of CGI-floaties, and my girlfriend noticed one (1) actual error in a distant shot of a crowd simulation. I never felt a separation from the physical and digital world.

The Cast

Then there's the acting. Robert Pattinson once again shows off his brilliant range, with a meek voice for the titular Mickey 17, and a harsher, drier voice for his less-titular counterpart. His presence shrinks as 17, showing his timid nature, and his emotions always feel extremely real. Steven Yuen's understated presence as Timo is similarly perfect. His mannerisms and the way he delivers his lines is as realistic as it gets, without getting banal. Naomi Ackie as Nasha was just about perfect casting. Her diction and physicality perfectly mirrored that of Pattinson's rather non-physical performance (as well as playing up his other, much more physical performance).

The science team always felt exactly like the stereotype of a science team, in only the best ways. Awkwardness, undying loyalty to scientific progress, and of course only the whitest of lab coats.

Mark Ruffalo is in his prime in this film, as is Toni Collette, as they play the most deranged power couple put to screen, with all the subtlety and nuance of the people they're a parody of (ha ha). Ruffalo takes every moment on screen and makes it instantly memorable. Collette speaks and moves in such a way it enhances her character's already uncertain motives.

The Story

To recap: the story of Mickey 17 follows Mickey Barnes in his escape from Earth through a space ship colony on a mission to an ice planet, along with his long-time friend Timo, after they take a loan from the creepiest mob boss alive to start a poorly-thought-out macaron store, and can't pay it back. While Timo can talk his way into a pilot position on the space team, Mickey takes the first job he sees, which is the controversial 'expendable' position. Expendables are scanned, killed, regenerated, killed, and regenerated again, ideally forever. They're banned on Earth due to the ethical and moral concerns, but in space, anything goes (on the drive home, I listened to Anything Goes by Tee Lopes, and it resonated as poignant to the movie). Mickey goes through many regenerations, through a few incidental deaths and a dozen or so deaths related to the science team testing on him. I won't go over the particular tests, but they mostly involve being injected with a formula, directly followed by throwing up blood. It's not until Mickey survives an assumed death, aided by an alien species (known as 'creepers'), and returns to the colony to find he's been cloned again, that things start to go off the rails.

Mickey 17 doesn't waste time telling you who Mickey is and what his job is, but doesn't rush at all to give any other details. It's paced slowly, but not monotonously. This is also one of the only movies I've ever seen with sex scenes that are not only short, but also directly serve the plot, which is how I like my sex scenes.

There are several flashbacks, some nested, and a lot of the context of earlier scenes are given prudence from later scenes. Near the very end of the film, there's a moment, a fairly long scene considering what it is, as a flashback respective to the scene surrounding it, which you might assume would completely fuck the pacing up, but it actually serves to give the surrounding scene a lot more weight. The timeline of the edit is so unique, and I love it.

The Editing

My oh my, the editing. The sound, the music, the timing, the effects, all of it is incredible, but none more so than the fact that Pattinson's dual performance is completely seamless. Not just in visual effects, but in the reactions from other actors. It's perfect. 'Nuff said.

Conclusion

I don't feel like I talked enough about Mark Ruffalo's role in this review, but it's hard to talk about without spoiling too much. I loved every second of this movie, and proudly give it a 10/10. I do feel pretentious saying this, but I wholeheartedly believe it to be a modern masterpiece.

#film #movies #mickey 17 #bong joon-ho #robert pattinson

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 months ago

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Michael After Midnight: Tubi Trash Heap Treasure Trove, Vol. 1

Tubi is genuinely the greatest streaming service known to man. For the low price of absolutely nothing, it has more films than you could ever imagine and even some you’d definitely imagine and want to watch. My experience with it that led to me becoming an enormous Tubi stan was searching up the film Rawhead Rex to watch one night and finding out it had been on the service… But wasn’t any longer. Truly a sad day (thankfully YouTube swooped in to save the day there).

Still, looking deeper I found out that what Tubi lacked in Clive Barker creature features it more than made up for with almost every single obscure 80s schlock I’d had on my IMDB watchlist since I was a teenager. There’s Troma films, Full Moon films, there’s obscure crap you can’t even imagine… truly a treasure trove the likes of which I hadn’t seen since my childhood basement full of VHS tapes from my grandma’s sadly closed video store (fuck you Blockbuster).

So, to keep Michael After Midnight alive and kicking and to go over some of the most obscure B-movies around, I’d like to welcome you to the first installment of Tubi Trash Heap Treasure Trove, my monthly roundup of the best and worst schlock I watched on the service over the past month. Now, this is only going to cover films that have a low IMDB score—I watched the original version of Ring, Night of the Comet, Exorcist III, and White Chicks, and while I’m sure there’s plenty I could say about those movies they already have cult fanbases and are generally well-regarded or at least enjoyed. The movies I want to talk about are obscure, insane stuff only freaks like me would watch.

There is one movie I watched that I’m not going to talk about though, and I’ll explain why at the end. Let’s get to talking about the insane B-grade crap I watched!

Since February was Black History Month, and seeing as I’m a big fan of Blaxploitation films, I decided to check out quite a few black-led films last month. The very best of the bunch was the supernatural horror film Bones, starring formerly beloved sellout rapper Snoop Dogg. It’s a truly solid film with an impressive performance from Snoop as the titular gangster, a man who cared about his community so much he died trying to save it from those who would end up corrupting it. When ressurected, he’s so consumed by revenge that he starts to lose his way, and it’s honestly pretty interesting. The comedic bits can be a bit hokey (but certainly not charmless) and there’s some janky early 2000s CGI, but there’s also some stunning practical effects and cool kills, not to mention Pam Grier. I fucking love Pam Grier, she improves everything she’s in.

The middling black-led horror film I watched was Def by Temptation, which is the rare horror film that features a succubus as the killer. The titular Temptation is a truly enjoyable demoness, a sly and seductive killer who manages to pull off some impressive supernatural kills. Unfortunately, I found the movie to be a bit too dull between the opening and the halfway point, though it certainly picked up at the end to make this at least an enjoyable experience. They even got a young, pre-superstar Samuel L. Jackson in the film, so it’s not all bad.

What is all bad is Blackenstein, the Blaxploitation take on Mary Shelley’s genre-creating and iconic sci-fi Gothic horror tale. I have never in my life seen a film trying so hard to ape the success of Blacula; even Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde wasn’t this blatant. This film is a tedious, confusing mess that has the single saving grace of the monster being pretty cool with decent makeup, but everything else is just cheap, tacky, and dull. The movie screeches to a halt for a five minute long stand up comedy segment, and the monster is just randomly killed by dogs at the end. This movie almost made me legitimately angry with how pointless and frustrating it felt.

Tubi actually has some superhero cinema, though it’s pretty unconventional fare compared to MCU or DC stuff. Probably the best was the musical The Return of Captain Invincible, a musical spoof of classic Gold/Silver Age superhero stories. The songs are honestly pretty charming and well done, with the highlight being the villain’s big number where he relentlessly attacks Captain Invincible’s alcoholism and tries to get him to fall of the wagon. Did I mention the villain is played by Christopher Lee? It’s a very fun and funny film if you go in with an open mind.

Another film you need an open mind to enjoy is Doctor Mordrid, the Full Moon film that began as an adaptation of Doctor Strange before rights expired in pre-production. Rather than scrapping the idea entirely, they opted for lawyer-friendly takes on Strange, Baron Mordo, and a few changes to avoid lawsuits. What we ended up with is essentially a really cool one-shot comic brought to life. It’s not the most epic tale and it can be a little more talky than spellcasty, but you get to see dinosaur skeletons fighting and Jeffery Combs convincingly play a heroic romantic lead. It’s got a lot of charm.

And then there’s Man-Thing, an adaptation of Marvel’s iconic swamp monster from the mid 2000s. There is very little I can say this film excels at; the acting is decent but unremarkable, the effects are hit or miss (Man-Thing looks great aside from his eyes and there’s some clunky CGI here and there), the kills are decent but not incredible… and yet, I’m kind of charmed by this movie. Maybe it’s just because it’s so bizarre seeing a superhero slasher movie, one where there’s boobs in the first five minutes and plenty of kills all throughout. Yes, I don’t love how Man-Thing is mischaracterized and kills without rhyme or reason, but I like how sympathetic the film is to Native Americans and activists. It’s a little more woke than you’d expect from a trashy monster movie, though this ain’t C.H.U.D. levels of social commentary or anything. I’m a sucker for silly monster movies, and the novelty of it being a superhero comic adaptation kind of makes me a bit more forgiving. Frankly, it’s trying a lot harder than some of the more recent Marvel films.

And on the subject of creature features, let’s move on to some delicious schlock. Nightbeast is a movie about an alien with the worst case of road rage ever. His ship crashes after getting smacked by a meteor, so what does he do? Does he ask for help? Does he o on a series of wacky misadventures? Does he eat at McDonald’s? No, he starts fucking murdering everyone in sight! He kills horny couples and terrified children fleeing for the life with equal mercilessness, and at one point he literally just pulls out his laser and unleashes a relentless barrage of gunfire. As cool as the creature stuff is, the long interludes with the humans aren’t devoid of quality, shockingly enough. They’re not nearly as engaging as when that ugly fucking alien is committing murder, but it’s better than you’d expect from trash like this. As far as creature features go, you can definitely do worse than this one.

Winterbeast is yet another trashy, low-budged monster movie with some of the most incoherent plot and editing I have ever seen. It’s a movie where it feels like shit just happens and sometimes we bear witness to it; the opening is truly a taste of the madness to come. There’s janky stop-motion monsters galore and nary a good performance in sight, but it is the kind of bad movie you can’t help but love. To its credit, it does have an exciting finale and one scene that is genuinely unnerving and unsettling involving a man dancing around with corpses while wearing a clown mask. It genuinely feels like the sort of low-budget nightmare fuel you’d see in some VHS analog horror series or maybe a serial killer’s personal tapes.

Monster in the Closet has a lot going for it as a goofy B-movie monster attack parody, but for the most part I just never felt like the humor landed. Sure, the dorky reporter suddenly becoming a sex symbol when he loses his glasses is kind of funny and leads to a great twist near the end (yes, his name is Clark, why do you ask?), but other than that this is mostly mediocre til it hits the endgame. Fergie dies in the opening credits and a young Paul Walker is a main character, so it has some novelty there I guess? I kind of feel the same way I did with Attack of the Killer Tomatoes when I watched that as a teenager: It’s fine but mostly unremarkable. Maybe you’ll get more of a kick out of it than I did.

Now we’re onto peak so bad it’s good with Laserblast. This movie is bad. It has a stupid lead, a dumb plot, effects that are poorly implemented, and weird humor that doesn’t land. But it also has a Mega Man arm cannon that turns you into an evil alien zombie if you use it too much, lots of explosions, a young Eddie “Mandark” Deezen, a shockingly good score, a pretty cool finale, and stop-motion turtle aliens that are poorly composited into every single scene they’re in. this is the kind of schlock you see characters watching in a real horror movie.

We’re in to the real shit now. The Suckling is, on paper, the most awesomely insane idea for a horror movie ever: A mother is tricked into getting an abortion, the fetus is tossed into a sewer that is inexplicably filled with toxic waste, and then it mutates and goes on a vengeful killing spree. It is the sort of batshit, off-the-wall premise that only horror does. And the first act of the film is extremely promising, with the brothel where the abortion is performed being set up fairly well and a gruesome mutation scene for the fetus as well as a gory kill. And then… the movie just screeches to a halt so the human characters can struggle to open doors. The movie becomes so painfully dull it actually put me to sleep, and while the climax and ending return to being absolutely disgustingly nuts, you have to sit through so much tedious bullshit to get there that the awesomely nasty monster design almost isn’t worth it. It’s the best novie about a killer aborted fetus I’ve ever seen, I’ll give it that much.

I actually saw two films that featured freaky fish people last month. The first was Humanoids from the Deep, a movie where a coastal town is besieged by monstrous amphibious beings created by pollution. There’s some awesome carnage in the climax and a supremely nasty twist ending, but the rest of the film is sullied by gratuitous monster rape scenes and the misogynistic overtones the fish creatures end up with because of this. Did we really need fish-on-human rape? It didn’t make me offended, I just thought it was kind of tasteless and made me respect the film less.

The other was Dagon, an adaptation of many concepts from the Cthulhu Mythos but mostly The Shadow Over Innsmouth. It was a bit of a slow burn at first and I didn’t really like it for quite a while, but once it got going it completely won me over. It has some incredible set design and atmosphere, tons of Lovecraftian elements woven into the story, and some incredible practical effects. It also has some hilariously bad CGI right at the end, thoguh this is easily forgiven because it also has some intentional, awesomely unsettling CGI for our brief glimpse of the titular Old God. It’s no masterpiece or anything, but I’d definitely call it an underrated gem with impeccable vibes.

And now for the single worst film I watched last month: Repligator. With a name like that you might be expecting some sort of fun B-movie, but no. Oh no. What this movie actually ended up being was a goddamn soft core porno where the writer of the film plays the fat, balding lead scientist who gender bends soldiers into becoming his topless, brainwashed nymphomaniac sex slaves. Sometimes they turn partially into alligators. This is nothing more than the writer’s blatant and unambiguous fetish put to screen, and finding that the writer decided he had to be the fat fuck in every NTR hentai doujinshi only made me hate this more. Genuinely one of the most uncomfortable films I’ve ever watched, and one I pretty much gave up on with half an hour left. It was that bad.

That’s it for my monthly dumpster dive! I found some hidden gems on this site, enough to make me keep coming back for more, but I only imagine the next month will prove to be even more fruitful. But there’s one more film I need to talk about, but it’s one I think could use a bit more elaboration… a film where I need to pose and then answer a very important question: Is it really that bad?

Stay tuned.

#Michael After Midnight #Review #movie review #Tubi #B-movies #schlock #horror #horror movie #Troma #Full Moon #blaxploitation

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halliescomut · 4 months ago

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Ghibli Watch-through Poll (5)

So...the last poll ended in a 4-way tie, so I posted on my Twitter, and that ended in a two-way tie between Secret World of Arrietty and The Wind Rises....so I watched both.

Secret World of Arrietty is one of my favorites. I've loved that film since I first saw it, but I'm also someone who has loved The Borrowers as well, so it's basically made for me to enjoy.

The Wind Rises--gives me mixed feelings. It's a bit of a downer for one. Most if not all of the Ghibli films have some darker, more serious aspects, but not quite to the point of "my wife died of consumption".

I'd also only seen the film once before, probably a decade ago during a Miyazaki film festival, and I think I wasn't really thinking as much about the context of the story. Seeing it take place between the first and second World War, and knowing the not super great behavior of Japan during that time, it weirdly made it hard to root for Jiro. Like even though he actively battles with that idea himself, he also like doesn't really fight it. idk. But the movie is good, I'd even say enjoyable, but would I really seek it out to watch again? Honestly, probably not, I can watch cool plane animation in Porco Rosso, y'know.

Before you go vote again, I do want to reiterate that I have seen some/most of these movies before, so if you truly want to vote for the very well-known and well-lauded options like Howl or Princess Mononoke, go ahead, but don't be worried that I had never seen them. I have. And every film will be watched eventually, the poll is simply so I don't have to be the one to decide.

#Studio Ghibli #Ghibli #The Wind Rises #The Boy and the Heron #The Secret world of Arrietty #Spirited Away #Castle in the Sky #Only Yesterday #Porco Rosso #Kiki's Delivery Service #The Tale of Princess Kaguya #Whisper of the Heart #Ghibli movie #Ghibli Rewatch #Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind #Ponyo #Howl's Moving Castle #Princess Mononoke

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measlyfurball13 · 1 year ago

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Seeing as your one of the only people I know who is into Transformers, would you mind info dumping about it?

I know very little of anything about it besides the old "Micheal Bay!" Joke, and that it was initially made to sell toys, but that doesn't really mean anything.

So tell me, is there "more than meets the eye" to this franchise?

HOOOOOOOOO BOY

The single most important thing to know about Transformers is that there is no singular canon. Rather, there's a TON of different continuities, or basically alternate versions of the same universe. Transformers is a franchise that basically tells the same story over and over again, altering each time while keeping some very basic core themes and characters.

Optimus Prime is the leader of the Autobots. Megatron is the leader of the Decepticons. The Autobots are the good guys, the Decepticons are the bad guys, and they have been fighting a war for millions of years. It is rare for continuities to change these core facts. They might be modified, but they will never be unrecognizable.

In one continuity, Optimus might be a younger, more inexperienced leader. In another, he may be old, wise, and powerful. In some continuities, Optimus and Megatron have personal beef with each other through their backstories, making them almost lost brothers of a sort. In others, Megatron is a stranger and Optimus is an impersonal victim of his cruelty. Each time this story, the story of Transformers, is told, little details like this change.

Generally, continuities try to keep a certain "feel" to them. While sometimes a continuity will completely reinvent a character, most of the time it will try to keep a character within a few (arbitrarily chosen) character traits and/or role.

So, if this story has been told over and over again, and there's certain established expectations for characters, what was this all based on? The answer is the original 1984 animated cartoon! This cartoon is referred to as "Generation 1", or just "G1" for short. This is the cartoon made to sell toys. The animation quality is poor, the dialogue and music are cheesy, and I absolutely love it to pieces. I would highly, highly recommend that you watch the first three episodes, which basically acts as the pilot for the whole show. It really writes the characters at their most iconic and introduces the setting.

Now that you understand that G1 is the base, you can go from there and explore other continuities! Remember, continuities don't connect across different mediums (with the very distinct exception of one specific continuity, which I'll get to right after this) so feel free to find one that interests you. In general, each cartoon (or close series of cartoons) is a continuity. Allow me to list some of the more popular ones:

Transformers Beast Wars. This is arguably the continuity that follows the established G1 pattern the least, since this is the cartoon that followed right after it. In this one, the transformers turn into animals and battle on a prehistoric earth. This one is well-renowned for its surprisingly deep character writing, but the antique 3D animation is the biggest hurdle to enjoyment. It's kinda the continuity that's the most forgotten.

Transformers Armada, Energon, and Cybertron. Also known as the Unicron Trilogy (no, not "unicorn"!), this one was made in Japan and then dubbed and exported. They introduce a lot of anime-inspired features into the lore such as powerups and the like. Armada is regarded very highly with good writing, the other two not so much. The continuity between them is fairly loose. You could absolutely get away with watching just that one. Here's a link to Armada.

The Michael Bay films. You already know this one. These live action films are in a continuity of their own. In all absolutely fairness, the first movie is pretty good, barring Bay's more childish flairs. If you don't mind the U.S. military being portrayed as the absolute good guys, I think you'll genuinely like it.

The Bumblebee movie. Special shoutout to this one! This live action movie is in its own continuity that's really fun. This is an excellent movie and I love it so much, please watch it at some point.

Transformers Animated. This is one of the most widely beloved continuities in the entire franchise. People really, really like this show. It takes the franchise in a refreshing new direction, with the first season feeling almost a bit more like a superhero cartoon than a "traditional" transformers cartoon. The Autobots are the absolute underdogs in this one and it's hard not to root for them. Here's a link. This one's a good one to start with.

Transformers Cyberverse. This one is a web series that was focused for a younger audience for the first season, gets decent in the second but then gets absolutely and insanely fucking unhinged in season 3. I. . . don't recommend this one for any beginners? It's a trip. That first season is pretty unbearable. The second season starts out feeling like you missed something, and then gradually gets kinda better. Season 3 is insane. Look, just tackle this one after you've tackled the others. Don't start here.

Transformers Earthspark. The newest of the bunch, this one is releasing on Paramount Plus. I've really enjoyed what I've seen of it! It's a much more down-to-earth approach to the story. It changes some characters but in interesting ways. The new characters are excellent as well. You can definitely start with this one.

And finally, without further ado:

Transformers Prime.

I fucking LOVE this one.

This one is my favorite and was what really got me into the Transformers fandom. This cartoon takes the good innovations from the Michael Bay movies and then actually tells an amazingly competent story with it. It's the Transformers cartoon with the darkest tone by a long shot, and it really sells that this story is about a war. Characters die! The serialization is suuuuuuuper tight- one of my favorite examples is that injured characters have to spend time onscreen healing back up.

This cartoon also gives a significant amount of focus and exploration of the Decepticons as a faction as well, which is rare for the franchise. Both the Autobot and Decepticon characters will charm their way into your heart.

This show is equivalent in quality to Avatar the Last Airbender to me. I know that's probably overhyping it. You may not like it as much. But I really really really love it.

Here is a link to the first season.

But wait! There's more. Welcome to the Aligned Continuity!

Transformers Prime is actually part of the franchise's first attempt to really connect a story across media platforms. The result was. . . mostly successful? Definitely a lot of plot holes/errors, and some of the continuity is trash, but I want to highlight two videogames specifically:

Transformers: War for Cybertron. This game is a third-person shooter by High Moon studios. They do an absolutely stellar job with this one. Taking place on Cybertron, the home planet of the transformers, this one acts as the first part of an indirect prequel to Transformers Prime.

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron. If the first game is good, then this game is amazing. The devs layer on more amazing mechanics to those introduced in the first game, with some of my absolute most favorite moments in all of gaming happening in this one. It acts as a second part of the prequel to Transformers Prime.

The writing in both of these games is so amazing, and the gameplay is so much fun. I know you love videogames, so that's why I'm recommending these two you. HOWEVER, the cost is that these games are stupid difficult to get ahold of. You'll most likely have to sail the high seas, yo-ho-ho, if you catch my drift. I play these on my Xbox 360. Best of luck to you!

Anyways, there are other entries into the Aligned Continuity. There's a set of three novels that I've heard are stellar. If you're looking for a show for young kids but that is also fun for you to watch, you could always check out Transformers: Rescue Bots. That one has a small but devoted fanbase of older fans.

But do NOT touch the cartoon in this continuity called Robots in Disguise. Do not. It's marketed as a sequel to Transformers Prime. It is not. Not really. It's like the Halo 5 of Transformers. Every day I am reminded that it exists I am in pain.

---

And there lies the end of my introduction! If you actually did read all of this, congrats to you. Ironically, I'm not sure that you've really ended up more knowledgeable than you started. I didn't really go over anything specific about characters or plot or lore or anything. But I hope I've illustrated my point that to do so would be fruitless- this story exists in so many different iterations that you just have to go out and find the one that resonates the most with you, y'know?

My recommendation for getting acquainted with the franchise is to start with those first three G1 episodes, then move on to either Animated or Prime. You could also pick Beast Wars if you're looking for something with a more retro 90s charm, which I know you like from Marathon.

#transformers #transformers prime #tfp #long post

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looking-to-rattle-the-stars · 3 months ago

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little late but i gotta yap so i can lock in for my exams tomorrow morning

anyways so i watched star wars the force awakens for the first time ! (as far as i know i have no knowledge on the other films so please forgive me if anything i say does not actually extend past the first film)

here’s my thoughts:

overall, the movie was enjoyable at least more so than i thought rogue one to be. a fun two hours as you would hope an action movie to be. that said, i have grips with the way the plot is constructed. the pacing of some areas felt too quick and lead to some abrupt interactions because of it. i also have quite a few grips with character decisions but ill get to that in a moment.

the plot was easy to follow sure but like, it didn’t actually make sense to me how certain things progressed. i think the other thing that bothers me about the story is that compared to the prequels and original trilogy there’s feels like an extreme extreme lack of political commentary. i guess you could say that episode 1 doesn’t have much political commentary in it, and that’s fair so maybe i can cut this film slack. however, episode 1 mostly stays away from the sith with the focus being on anakin for the majority of the film so like… not exactly a similar situation. if you compare it to episode 4, the political commentary and relationships are very structurally clear between characters and goals. the force awakens i feel didn’t deliver that. who the fuck is that guy talking to kylo? snoke? what kind of a name is that??? and like outside of the army line up/salute scene, none of the commentary from the bad guys feels like it has political undertones. i understand that as a science fiction story it does not have to be inherently political, but given the role of politics in the first sets of films the lack of political standing in this one is disappointing. so they want the resistance dead, we know this by now. what new thing are they introducing? it doesn’t feel like anything.

oh my god almost forgot saving grace of this movie is the comedy. this movie has some funny dialogue and that was something that helped keep me interested in the film. and the line deliveries too ugh chefs kiss.

characters

might as well bring some humor why does the best character have under ten minutes of screen time in the hole film? poe i know they won’t do that in the next one but god would’ve loved more oscar isaac in this one! and speaking of poe, their death juke-out? bad. badly done. even if i hadn’t been watching with friends who had seen the movie i would’ve known he was going to come back and even if i didn’t i don’t think i would’ve cared! they introduced him and then “killed” him way to fast that it just didn’t feel like a meaningful “is he dead is he alive???” scenario with the empty flyer. and that’s disappointing because it had potential to be such a good up in the air moment but i think they just did too much too fast that you don’t really feel a connection to poe to care if his life is actually gone.

i am pissed about how finn quit being a stormtrooper. i am not mad about the plot choice by any means! but it felt disingenuous! you’re telling me, a kid taken from his family and raised to be a stormtrooper, goes into his first battle and sees one comrade die and decide he doesn’t want to do it?? i think it would’ve been more interesting to have him kill, kill quite a few people even, and then have one of his pals die in front of him. someone we know he had an established friendship with. it would have made the viewing of him experiencing grief all the more impactful and allow for the possibility of him to reflect on the grief he’s caused any survivors. i think that would have made his leaving all the more impactful and made helping poe even more meaningful. especially since he reveals later he mostly worked in sanitation! going out and killing, feeling the power (and ecstasy/adrenaline) to then have it stripped away when he sees his friend die before him causing him to reflect on what he has done and what he could become (both in death or chasing power) would have been so so so much better.

tbh! tbh i don’t like that it feels like rey’s narrative is dictated by the men around her. kylo, finn, poe, luke, and han. she does not feel like she is able to exist independently and that sucks! kylo and finn i can just tell they want to set up a love triangle for, i can feel like it that goodbye kiss could not just be platonic as much as i want it to be. and the meeting with kylo and him wanting to teach her the ways of the force? he’s going to chase her around the galaxy. poe i can’t speak to much of it yet but based off the fact she became responsible for bb8 it just feels like their relationship is going to be something ignored for the others but still that she’ll have to always be supported by him/his flying despite her completely solid skills and knowledge! which brings me to han, i do not necessarily have an issue with her knowing han! but at some points it felt like she was more of han fan girl which would be fine outside of him offering her a job where her narrative would then become reliant on him and traveling with him. maybe i’m just not really invested in celebrities to understand the connection so much anymore but just i don’t know. i think it mainly bothers me cause it feels like another part of primary character/interests is now connected to another man which is a lot with the aforementioned and following guys, it just feels like too much going on. and lastly luke. he’s training her. i’ve heard she takes the skywalker name. need i say more about him being crucial to her narrative and development. and again, this could be fine if the love triangle stuff was not going on too! it just feels to me that at any opportunity where she is able to be independent and showcase her knowledge/skills it becomes undermined narratively by her connections to one of the men. and that sucks! because if i ignore that belief she seems to be an interesting character! and have an interesting role in regard to jedi history! but no! she becomes passive in the story—despite being the main character—because she is so intertwined into the stories of other men now that it doesn’t feel like these actions benefit her as much as it serves to push the character development of the others :/ (exception being han and formally luke since i don’t know how the story goes).

and you could perhaps make a case for leia or padme. but i would dare say that they both have very strong narrative moments regardless of the men in their stories. while yes padme is anakins necessary love interest for the story and that is important to her character, she is still really strong in her beliefs. she is a politician and she has never let anakin get in the way of her doing her job correctly. she has multiple moments of being able to show her independence and strength in terms of being able to act regardless of the men around her. and the other key distinction is just that—she is narratively an important love interest, rey isn’t. rey doesn’t need to be in love with anyone to have a role in the story! in regard to comparing her to leia, i would say that leia is also very strong in her independent and solo scenes. while she is a partly a love interest, she is narratively important outside of that due to being the leader of the resistance. the resistance, as far as the original trilogy goes, does not function without her. she is crucial in seeing plans and action come to life. and rey has that potential, we see it when she saves and takes in bb8. but i feel like poe came into soon and disrupted that opportunity for her to showcase her strong suits. similar argument for when she’s running around the base to get away from kylo, the skill sets feel overshadowed by the fact that we are constantly seeing them from men’s perspectives and hearing their commentary on what she is doing. it takes away from her moment! it takes away from allowing her the opportunity to have strong scenes like leia and padme that show us why rey is important! you can’t even count the scene before maz talks to her because gets what! that’s luke’s saber and she must go to him!

speaking of that, what the fuck was that? force flashbacks? maybe this is just an episodic viewer lack of knowledge but i did not think that was a thing? and if it’s kylo or luke trying to talk with her, how could they have done that if she was not previously “in tune” with the force? i didn’t think it worked that way. and by in tune i mean aware of her connection to it. especially since luke and kylo don’t even know who she is yet?? or where??

i don’t even think i have much to say about kylo ren outside of why are you 29 and throwing temper tantrums at every turn. who is raising you that way cause i know damn well it wasn’t han and leia. i’m kind of disappointed in how he comes across as an antagonist. even bitch boy anakin didn’t seem this badly emotional and he’s the reason everything downward spiraled! pull yourself together kylo 🙄

bb8 was a fantastic droid i love the little soccer ball it felt like he had big wet puppy dog stares so often like he just felt like a puppy whereas c-3po and r2d2 kind of feel more like humans (probably the sass). i like that little thing.

other

it’s 1:40 and i started this at 12:40 so maybe i’ll make a separate post but i can tell there’s intended to be parallels between luke and rey and kylo and anakin. you know what i think needs to be talked about? the parallels between anakin and rey and therefore potentially luke and kylo. god i cannot yap anymore about it right now but i’m cooking something up trust.

i hope there’s going to be a stronger connection between rey and leia. i was really disappointed to see them not interact until after han’s death and in which case they just hug and then rey leaves. like cmon man. give them something outside of han and luke they are women with direct experiences with the force! let them have a cool interaction. (this also ties in with the aforementioned rey rant and what i mean by her narrative being dictated by men like come on we couldn’t have made her have a connection with leia if she got excited over the finn being in the resistance?? you’re telling me she would not be thrilled to have the opportunity to meet general organa??? )

oh controversial but i do not like the new lightsaber graphics. kylo’s ill excuse cause i was given the information he made his own saber hilt (in regard to the way it moves/shakes). outside of that though don’t like them. i don’t know what it is about the new styling—i think they might give off too much light in comparison to how the glow reacted in the other films. it’s just so overwhelming and while yeah i suppose that’d be realistic, it just pulled me out of the fight scene cause the lights are too bright. i don’t know if that’s the only thing or if there’s other aspects in relation to the CGI/animation but eugh i don’t like their vibe. bring back the prequel lightsabers if anything!

thats all i can think of now. congrats on reading all of this if you did. please don’t spoil anything as it relates to the other movies if you want to have a discussion about any of my thoughts. i want to find out if i already knew something when im watching the movie is all.

#andy rambles #star wars #star wars the force awakens

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goodluckclove · 8 months ago

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A Very Very Muppet Christmas Movie Deserves All the Hate it Gets, and Maybe More Actually

Okay so someone said I can talk about this so I'm going to talk about it. Spoilers I guess? For a shitty Muppets movie?

This got long. Fuck.

I have seen, at this point, every Muppets movie aside from Muppets Oz. I couldn't really rate them in order of best to worst like other online sites do. I like The Muppets. Even the movies that didn't touch my heart like Muppets Treasure Island I still found fun and enjoyable. My favorite will always be the original movie from 1979, but I found all of them to be comforting and enjoyable.

Until this one. This one is bad. A Very Very Muppets Christmas Movie was so immediately bad on every level. It is the first movie I've seen in some time that actually made me angry.

A little context for those who haven't seen the movies. Muppets movies fall into two categories that I'll call Muppets Lore and Muppets Theatre. In Muppets Theatre you get a loose retelling of some classic story where the cast is primarily Weird Felt Perverts - think Christmas Carol, Treasure Island, Wizard of Oz. The Great Muppets Caper isn't technically based on source material but I'd put it in this category since they're playing characters.

On the other hand, the Muppets Lore movies focus on the origins/misadventures of the Muppets as an ensemble. Think the original movie, as well as Muppets Take Manhattan, Muppets in Space, and the two reboot films.

Muppets Haunted Mansion is technically both a Muppets Lore and Muppets Theatre film. It's also. I wouldn't say bad, but it - it's weird to talk about. It does canonize that Gonzo's worst fear is dying alone - which, like, yeah. That tracks.

Anyways, A Very Muppet Christmas (I refuse to keep using the full title), though it does heavily draw from It's a Wonderful Life (but badly), is primarily a Muppets Lore movie. The basic plot is that the Muppets, who by now are well-known for producing shows out of their own Muppet Theater, lose their venue. This devastates Kermit, driving him to believe that the lives of his friends would be better if he was never born. He gets to see this alternate reality, realizes it's apparently way worse, and begs to go back. He does, the theater is saved through randomly being declared a historical site, and everyone's happy forever.

I don't know where to start with this. Let me break it up.

They Had The Same Message For a Like 30 Years At This Point How Did You Fuck it Up This Badly

So a majority of the Muppets Lore movie focuses on the central theme of chasing your dreams. The main cast are all performers (barring Scooter, who seems to be the entirety of their tech crew. Kermit also directs and writes. I think Doctor Honeydew is a war criminal but no one talks about that.) with aspirations of making a living doing what they love. They make mentions of fame but are pretty loose with what that means. Miss Piggy is the only cast member who explicitly wants mass amounts of stardom.

The rest appear content with being career artists. Rowlf is chill wherever there's a piano. The Electric Mayhem prefer their jam rock but seem fine playing any gig with an audience and also probably a plug for hard drugs. In a lot of Gonzo origin appearances he's actually working a separate day job and just shoots himself out of cannon as a hobby. The major draw in the original depiction of their dreams (for me at least) is that it really does paint them all as people who would be doing their art anyway regardless of whether or not they Hit it Big. They push for fame, they try again and again to find an audience that appreciates them even when most of them don't, and it works out in the end. They get rewarded for the effort their dreams push them commit to - what Real Life, Non-Muppet Artist wouldn't at least acknowledge how that's cool to see?

I think this is why a Lore Muppet movie doesn't really work when it depicts The Muppets already being successful. The reboot worked for me because it took place when they were all major celebrity figures past their prime and mostly forgotten (except for Rowlf who I think was on so much Oxy that he didn't realize they were famous). When the movie focuses on their career the fame is a better goal than a starting point.

It really does make A Muppet Christmas fall apart immediately. They run the risk of losing their theater if they don't make the money to pay rent? They're famous. They're on talk shows. There's a statue dedicated to the joy Kermit brings to the world. I do not accept this to be a universe where they can't get another venue immediately. I wouldn't be able to accept this as a universe where they're both successful performers who sell out every show and also almost broke, if not for the fact that I can think of like four Muppets off the top of my head who probably generate a new court case against them every year. Legal fees.

They had one scene where Kermit calls a bunch of mid 2000s celebrities and none of them want to guest for the Christmas show. That works in the reboot where Kermit does the same thing only to find that most of his old contacts are either retired or dead. In this one? It's nonsense.

No, Really, You Fucked it So Bad

In every Muppet movie that focuses on following your dreams, that message is paired with maddening levels of determination. The Muppets, mainly Kermit, do not give up. All his friends ditch him while he's trying to get their musical produced on stage? He's gonna work a minimum wage job and keep looking for producers so he can get that venue and perform with his friends. His career is kind of over but he runs the risk of losing the studio that served as a landmark for the legacy he made with the people he loves? Fuck it, cross-country road trip to get the band back together.

He's trying to make a name for himself but there's a entrepreneur who runs a frog legs restaurant and, after being unable to hire him as a spokesperson, sends a paid assassin to kill him? That's less important than making the Big Audition in Hollywood!

So when being faced with losing the Muppet Theater in A Muppet Christmas, Kermit stays true to his character by giving up immediately and abandoning his friends to die alone in the snow.

Like I get it, you're doing the It's A Wonderful Life thing but you can't make Kermit do an explicit suicide attempt. But the film establishes he is fully frozen and unresponsive when his Religiously Unspecified Celestial Guardian finds him, and that is WAY more disturbing than having him jump off a bridge in my mind. It's just so bleak holy fuck. And this happens immediately. First fifteen minutes of a movie that inexplicably starts in the middle and Kermit slinks off to die.

It's not earned at all. He didn't fuck up to the extent for this to make sense. We find out later that the money was lost because he gave it to Fozzie to give to the bank and Fozzie loses it. Kermit then becomes convinced that he ruined all of his friends lives because of this.

Like it's a common thread to depict Kermit being the lynchpin that moves the ensemble forward. He's the guy with the plan, so it makes sense story wise to take that character and get him to a point where he's out of ideas. Only we never see him really try anything? He makes no attempts that fail before he falls into despair. He sits on the sideline and when things don't go well he's like "I fucked it" and loses his will to live. When people say Kermit is a boring buzz kill this is the Kermit they must be imagining.

All the Characters are Bad Here

The major crux of the film is seeing how the ensemble would live without Kermit, who inexplicably thinks he ruined their lives in a way I still don't understand (Did he take out a bunch of loans in their name? What happened???). The intention is to show that their lives are better for having him in them. This, for some reason, looks like the following:

Gonzo: talented street singer/musician, maybe implied to be homeless?

Fozzie: pickpocket, apparently. Why? Bullshit

The Electric Mayhem: Irish step dancers I guess

Scooter: go go dancer. Living his best life.

Sam the Eagle: nightclub enthusiast. Seems fine.

Statler and Waldorf: I could be wrong but it did really look like they were depicted as a gay couple

Rizzo: I - actual rat? Rat actor? Non-sentient rat? I don't really understand what was happening there.

Miss Piggy: I thought they were going the path of having her give up on acting and become a crazy cat lady (not good but fits the era) but apparently she's a phone psychic who uses a Jamaican accent and wig. I guess Kermit is the only person keeping her from race baiting - which I can believe.

So my issue with this is that it's fully inconsistent to all of their characters. If you wanted to show how their lives would be worse without Kermit, it's very easy to do so using the aspects of their personality depicted in like 40 years of media. I think the issue comes in the fact that the obvious downfalls aren't really fitting for a kids movie, which is probably why Jim Henson didn't go there. But I will right now! Here is my take:

Fozzie: super bigoted comedian. He doesn't realize his audience are racists and he doesn't really get the jokes but he's happy people are finally laughing

Gonzo: drug mule

Miss Piggy: probably got famous but not though acting and she's trying to pretend like that's just as good

Rizzo: pays Gonzo be his drug mule

The Electric Mayhem: long dead. Either OD or murder-suicide. Maybe Animal lived but he's absolutely in prison.

Statler and Waldorf: divorced because they never got to bond over their mutual hatred of live theater

Scooter: still in technical theater but he gets treated like shit and probably has a drinking problem

Sam the Eagle: full-on Nazi. Obviously.

There's a plot there in showing what the muppet ensemble would be like without their director and biggest cheerleader. It's just that the depiction in the movie we got was so far removed from what they were like in the present reality that it didn't - like, without Kermit, Gonzo would've learned how to play the guitar? Huh? The only thing that's keeping Fozzie Bear from doing petty crime is making vaudeville theater? Fucking how? Based on what?

It doesn't work as a Muppets story and it doesn't work as a Wonderful Life reference because there's really not anything real that proves that Kermit is the thing that kept this from happening. Except for Piggy doing phone blackface. I can see him having to have that conversation with her a lot.

Anyways, it sucks. The framing is bad, the guest stars are weird (Joe Rogan and Matthew Lillard?), and the one song for the film is awful. Kermit's emotional arc is nonsense and the film fails to see that the point of the ensemble is that they're better and happier together, not that they're all useless and miserable without their leader.

Brian Henson did an important thing taking over for The Muppets after his dad died. He did a lot for the way the movies he wasn't involved in production wise - he worked on the rig that allowed Muppets to appear to ride bikes. This is his life and his dads legacy and it's clear - at least at one point - he valued continuing it.

But yeah this movie was awful. Near incoherent. It's like fanfic from someone who's only research was doing a Google image search of The Muppets. Christ.

#the muppets #movie review #god this was long #i had a lot to say #fuck

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