#anyways. the traveler means so much to me.
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One of the biggest eye-openers for me back when a I went to church was that like…
Oh man how do I explain it.
There’s this prevalent idea I see a lot in Christian circles that if you pray right, if you follow God correctly, if you’re a truly virtuous person, your problems will be solved, right?
If you suffer, if you fall ill, if bad things happen, it’s because you aren’t good enough. You don’t need medicine because if you’re worthy, if you’re faithful enough, God will reward you by healing you. Right?
But like. Discussing this with my mother, and travelling out east with our pastor… Jesus didn’t spend all his time with perfect, virtuous people. Jesus didn’t seek out and heal well-to-do, faithful, perfect Christians. In fact, there’s a specific story in which he straight up doesn’t travel out to heal a believer’s dying daughter, because she’s already “saved”. Her earthy death is okay because she’s going to heaven already.
And like… coming from our Pastor, who is one of the best guys I’ve ever met- there seems to be an ongoing, underlying message of, “Jesus doesn’t care about you if you’re a good Christian”. If you’re a good Christian, if you’re living a virtuous life on earth, then any suffering you experience is only temporary- your ETERNITY is secure. Jesus goes out of his way to meet with sinners and the unfaithful because those are the people whose souls are in danger.
So like. In that perspective, being good doesn’t make your life better, it’s just good for others and good for your soul. Praying and doing good probably won’t cure your cancer, but it may mean you don’t have to worry too much about your death.
And like. I dunno. I wouldn’t call myself a Christian, but I find myself thinking about that concept a lot
Does suffering mean you deserve a reward?
Is suffering proof that you’re unworthy?
Or is suffering just an unfortunate facet of life that doesn’t reflect on your worth, that you still have to deal with as best you can?
Maybe suffering is just suffering.
Maybe the bad things you experienced weren’t about you
And maybe you just gotta try your best and be kind anyways, so you can rest easy when you go
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omg hiii, i’ve been in my haechan feels lately, especially with him looking unreal from the seoul shows. can we get possessive haechan?? like i swear that man loves his girl down bad, absolutely in love, and he’s so possessive of her like not in a toxic weird way, but like a hot cute endearing way like a way that would make me push him into the dressing room of a clothes store and give him the most best and deserved head he’s ever gotten bc if there’s anything i love, it’s a man who’s down baddd
── .✦ moments of appreciation
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lee donghyuck x fem!reader
𓂃 ࣪˖ ࣪cw: smut, fluff (?), oral (m), deep throat, public sex. 𓂃 ࣪˖ a/n: hi anon... you're so right... i think about this everyday, i meed him in every ways possible, you dont get it... please, enjoy!!! (no, i have nothing for valentine's day, maybe next year, babes 😜😜)
Donghyuck never thought he could love someone the way he loves you. He couldn't quite put into words everything that made him love you, you were simply it for him, perfect in all the right ways.
Yes, you had your imperfections, but to him, love was never about perfection. It wasn't about logic or reason, it simply was. Anyone could love something for all the good it offered, but real love, the kind that mattered, was about embracing everything, even the flaws. And that's exactly how he loved you—completely, without hesitation, without conditions.
He had thought about this before. You could break his heart, shatter him beyond repair, or commit the worst sins imaginable, and he would still love you—helplessly, foolishly. It didn't matter if it sounded irrational, maybe even a little insane. The truth was simple: he would do anything for you, no matter the cost.
But the best part? You were his. No one else's, just his. The thought alone made his chest swell with something dangerously close to obsession. Out of everyone in the world, you had chosen him, and that was a privilege he would never take lightly. You were his, and he was just as much yours, bound to you in a way that felt absolute, unshakable.
And that’s why, even after what felt like days sitting on that little couch, watching you step out of the dressing room in a different outfit each time, he still felt like he was having the best day of his life. Then again, every day felt like the best as long as you were in it.
Really, was there any better way to spend his time than watching his pretty girl try on pretty clothes?
“What do you think about this one?” You asked again, the same question you’d been repeating since the first outfit change.
Donghyuck looked up from his phone, his eyes immediately locking onto you.
“I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life,” he said with a bright smile, letting his gaze travel up and down twice.
“Hyuck, come on,” you rolled your eyes. “You said that the last fifteen times. You’re being useless,” you huffed, crossing your arms.
“How is it my fault that you look stunning in everything?” he shot back, tilting his head with a smirk.
You sighed, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “I need actual feedback, not just you being a flirt.”
Donghyuck leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he gave you a once-over, this time, with a more thoughtful expression. “Okay, fine. Turn around.”
You did as he said, giving him a little twirl before facing him again, an expectant look on your face.
He hummed, tapping his chin dramatically. “I mean… it is a really nice outfit,” he said slowly, making you narrow your eyes at him.
“But?”
“But I still think you are the best part of it,” he grinned, dodging the throw pillow you immediately launched at him.
He got up from his seat, laughing as he walked toward your grumpy figure, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Aw, don't look at me like that, gorgeous," he teased, pressing a kiss to your cheek and chuckling when you turned your face away. "Why are you so worried about this anyway?" he asked, tightening his grip slightly when you tried to pull away.
You hesitated for a moment before sighing. "It's for the reunion," you admitted, avoiding his gaze.
Donghyuck blinked, then tilted his head. "The high school thing?"
"Yes, the high school thing," you huffed. "I don't know, I just... want to look good. It's been years, and I'll be seeing people I haven't seen since we were all awkward teenagers."
His lips curled into a teasing smirk. "Ohhh, I get it now," he cooed. "You wanna show off a little, huh?"
You shot him a glare. "It's not like that—”
"It is like that," he interrupted, grinning. "And honestly? You should. You're hot. Let them eat their hearts out."
Despite yourself, you couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head as he pinched your sides playfully.
"I'm serious, baby. You're stressing over nothing. Just look at you," he said, taking your hand and turning you toward the mirror. His arms wrapped around your waist again, and he rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're breathtaking, the most beautiful woman in the universe and beyond. You could show up in pajamas and still look like a goddess."
You thought you'd be used to his endless flattery by now, but somehow, you never were. It was always sweet, never failing to make your heart skip a beat.
You glanced at him through the mirror, your worries slowly fading as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck.
"You're so dramatic," your tone warm as you rolled your eyes but leaned back into him anyway.
"I'm just telling the truth," he murmured, pressing his nose against your neck. "It's not my fault my overthinking girlfriend needs constant reminders of how stunning she is."
You huffed, but the way your lips twitched betrayed you. "Well, maybe if someone gave me actual opinions instead of just approving everything i wear, I wouldn't have to overthink."
Donghyuck chuckled, swaying you gently in his arms. "Fine, fine. If you really want my expert opinion..." He paused, pretending to scrutinize your reflection in the mirror.
You raised an eyebrow, waiting. "And?”
“Don’t wear this dress.”
“What? Why?” You frowned, glancing at your reflection. “I actually liked this one the most. Does it really look that bad?”
“I never said that,” his hands trailing up and down your waist. “You look incredible, love, but it feels a little too formal for the occasion. The second one you tried fits the vibe better. Plus, it’ll probably be more comfortable… you know, in case we need to make a quick getaway.”
Yeah, he wouldn't admit it, but he wanted you to wear it just for him. You looked too beautiful in it, almost unfairly so, the idea of anyone else seeing you like this, soaking in the sight of you, were a big no-no. Unwanted attention (read: any attention that wasn’t exclusively his) was simply not an option.
“Oh, so you’re already planning our escape before we even get there?” You raised your brows, crossing your arms. “Really?”
Donghyuck chuckled, tightening his grip on your waist as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. "Baby, please. I know you," his voice laced with amusement. "You won't last more than an hour before you start getting annoyed at half the people there. You'll smile, nod, pretend to listen, and then, you'll be counting the minutes until we leave."
He pulled back slightly, just enough to meet your gaze in the mirror, a smug grin on his lips. "So, yeah, I'm already planning our escape. Just being a good boyfriend and thinking ahead.”
"Okay, maybe you have a point," you teased, rolling your eyes as you turned to face him, looping your arms around his neck. "Guess I should thank my thoughtful boyfriend for planning ahead."
"Just doing the bare minimum for my girl," he smiled, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Now that we've finally settled on an outfit and I’ve reminded you how perfect you are, can I spoil you and pay for everything you liked?"
You held his gaze, your heart doing that little flutter it always did when he looked at you like that, like you were his entire universe. It was almost overwhelming, the way his eyes softened, filled with something so pure, so consuming.
If love had a shape, a form, a physical presence, you were sure it lived in the way Haechan looked at you. The same way a loyal pet would gaze at their favorite person, full of unconditional adoration, unwavering and endless. His pupils were blown wide, his expression a mix of devotion and something deeper, something you couldn't quite put into words.
“Baby, please, don’t tell me you’re going to refuse again,” he whined at your silence, pouting a little. “Why do you love to ruin my happiness? It's my duty to—”
“I love you, Lee Donghyuck,” you said softly, cupping his face and pulling him into a kiss.
He was surprise by the sudden words and actions, but his shoulders instantly relaxed as he melted into your embrace. He kissed you back with equal passion, murmuring between the kisses, “I love you too,” before peppering your lips with more soft kisses as you pulled away, only for him to chase after you, craving more of your touch.
You couldn't help but giggle at the way he whined in protest when you pulled away for good, placing your hands on his chest to stop him. Biting your lip, you glanced around before tugging his hand, a playful glint in your eyes as you whispered, "Come with me." And just like that, you pulled him into the dressing room.
"What are you doing?" he asked, slightly confused, though he wasn't exactly opposed to whatever you had in mind.
"Just saying thank you for being the sweetest boyfriend ever," you murmured, sinking to your knees in front of him, your hands sliding up his thighs as you looked up at him.
Oh, he knew exactly what was happening. God, he couldn't believe it. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as his heart pounded, the sight of you like this making his pants uncomfortably tight.
"Are you sure, love?" his voice softer now, laced with anticipation. His eyes flickered to the curtain, hesitant for only a second as you unbuttoned his pants. "This isn't really the best place to—"
A low groan slipped from his lips as your hand firmly cupped his growing hardness, cutting off whatever weak protest he was about to make.
"Be quiet, Hyuck," you scolded, palming him again. He sucked in a sharp breath, biting his bottom lip to stifle any sound as a dark spot began to form on his underwear.
“Fuck, hurry up,” he hissed, any previous hesitation now completely forgotten.
You smirked at his impatience but didn’t tease him, at least, not too much. Slipping your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, you tugged them down just enough to free his cock, standing hard and eager, a bead of precum already glistening at the tip.
You wrapped your fingers around his length, stroking him slowly, savoring the way his breath hitched with each movement. His chest rose and fell in uneven rhythm as he leaned back against the wall, his gaze locked onto you, dark with need. His cock twitched in your grip, another bead of precum spilling from the tip, proof of just how desperate he already was for you.
You merely smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his tip before running your tongue along his length, savoring the way he tensed under your touch. His head fell back against the wall, his breathing growing heavier, his thighs trembling slightly as you took him into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and sucking him in deeper.
"Shit—" He bit down on his fist to muffle the groan that nearly slipped, his other hand instinctively threading through your hair, not to control your pace but just to feel you closer, to ground himself in the pleasure you were giving him.
The muffled sounds of the store outside felt like a distant hum, completely drowned out by the way your tongue moved so perfectly against him. His not-so-soft moans filled the small space, each one making your core tighten with satisfaction. You sucked on the tip of his cock before slowly pulling away, letting it slip from your lips with a sinful pop, but your hand never stopped stroking him.
"Hyuck, you're being too loud," you scolded in a hushed tone, glancing up at him with a mix of amusement and warning.
“Don't stop,” he whined, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with desperation. His hips jerked forward instinctively, chasing your warmth. Even the slightest brush of your lips against his tip had his knees trembling.
You let out a soft chuckle, watching the way he was falling apart just from your touch. His fingers tightened in your hair, his knuckles turning white as he fought the urge to push you down onto him the way he so desperately wanted.
“You’re so needy,” you teased, your breath ghosting over his sensitive tip, making him shudder.
“And whose fault is that?” he shot back, his voice strained, breathing heavily.
Instead of answering, you wrapped your lips around him once more, taking him in deeper this time. His head fell back against the wall with a soft thud, a broken moan escaping his lips as his grip in your hair loosened for a moment, only to tighten again when your tongue flicked over his slit.
Was he dead, and this was paradise? If not, it had to be the closest thing to it. His legs nearly gave out when he felt your throat tighten around him, the sudden sensation ripping a loud moan from his lips. Your nails dug into his thighs in warning, silently telling him to keep quiet. He bit down hard on his lower lip, his breathing ragged as he fought to control himself, but with the way your mouth worked on him, it was becoming nearly impossible.
He looked down at you, and what a sight. The way your lips stretched around him, the glint in your eyes as you took him deeper—it was enough to make his head spin. The pleasure was overwhelming, pushing him closer to the edge. His hips moved on their own, chasing that high, silently begging you to go faster, to take him there.
You gave in to his desires, quickening your pace, sucking with more intensity, while your hand skillfully massaged his balls, each movement pushing him closer to the edge. The rhythm of your actions seemed to drive him wild, his breath ragged as he struggled to hold on.
His body tensed, his head spinning as he reached his peak, hot spurts of cum filling your mouth. His fingers tightened in your hair, urging you closer as his hips jerked forward, riding out the last tremors of his climax, unwilling to let go.
You pulled his cock out of your mouth, knowing he would have kept you there if he had his way. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, glancing up to see his face in pure satisfaction, eyes shut and head leaning against the wall. His hand now gently ran through your hair, his breath still heavy as he mumbled how good you were, the words dripping with praise.
You let out a soft giggle, adjusting his clothes as you noticed how disoriented he looked. As you stood up, he finally met your gaze, his eyes dark with desire. Without warning, he leaned in, pulling you into a kiss that was intense yet tender. “God, I love you so much, baby,” he whispered against your lips.
“Me too,” you replied, a playful smile on your face. “I think the whole store heard you,” you teased, gently biting his lower lip before pulling away to meet his gaze.
“Then I guess they know how much I love you now,” he shrugged, a mischievous grin spreading across his face, making you laugh. “Maybe I’ll be quieter next time.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Next time? I think this one was enough, don’t you? We could have gotten caught.”
“But we didn’t,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “Next time, I’ll make sure you're the one making all the noise.”
↝ taglist: @yizhrt, @sinisxtea, @peterm4rker.
#haechan x reader#haechan smut#nct x reader#nct smut#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut#donghyuck smut
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Rafael clears the table of the remnants of their somewhat failed dinner and the slightly more disastrous drinking game. He only looks up at Tisha with a mock frown. "You? Behave yourself? I hope I'll never have to witness such atrocities." He lets the plates be plates and wraps Tisha in his arms, pulling her close to kiss. "I'll go to Hell anyway, might as well make it worthwhile." He laughs. His carefreeness a stark contrast to his brother's musings.
As much as Nick is excited for the big family gathering, and honoured that both Tisha and Hari want him there, he can't ignore the tiny little sting in his chest which reminds him that he can't take Hari to have a similar experience with his own family. Almost apologetically for no reason other than to silence the nagging voice in the back of his head, he offers: "You've already met my mamãe." A nod in the general direction where they had left Rafael. "He took me to my first concert. I was a older than four, I give him that." Probably still too young though. "I feel like he'll get along well with your dad. Two people full of stories." So is he, but the stories aren't meant for ears that have never heard of the supernatural outside of fiction. And he doesn't mind.
"I'm sorry if I make it sound like I need convincing. I don't. I'm so on board with this, you have no idea," Nick smiles, snaking an arm around Hari and pulling him into a relaxed hug. "Before today I didn't think we needed warning labels... or, or care instructions. That's a better word. But apparently we do. Rafa more than me, I hope." Circling back to the warning labels then. "And it's not just the way I can't appreciate your mum's silverware. Or about Rafa being a pescetarian. I mean... actually... I don't know what I mean." Perhaps it's just the earlier half of this evening still haunting him.
Suddenly the gargle of the moka pot poses a welcome distraction and Nick quickly springs into action, filling each cup with deliciously strong coffee. But it doesn't distract him for long. "I remember big family gatherings. Travelling halfway across the country. Deus meu, the food! You've never had barbeque if you haven't tried churrasco." Well, Rafael might not agree. "My point is. My family completely broke apart. Rafa's kids are grown up. Renato is... We... well, we don't talk much. I can't give you the same. And I know you're not asking for it. But I just wish I could."
Tisha tsks, shaking her head. "Ah, too bad. That's one of my favorite bits." In her defense, it does usually land. Usually because she isn't always great at finding the right moment to do a bit. "Well, for the record," She leans back to watch Hari go into the kitchen before continuing, like it's a secret and not something her brother is very well aware of. "I can behave myself sometimes. I just need lots of time to prepare. And as few opportunities to make jokes as possible. I have in fact gotten through multiple entire church services without getting kicked out."
“You don’t have anything to worry about, Nick. Tisha’s messing around." Hari insists, opening the cupboard and taking down the mugs. He turns and leans against the counter, hands braced behind him. "My parents are… shit, I don’t know.”
He pushes himself off the counter and wraps an arm around Nick’s shoulders. “My dad was a tour drummer in the seventies and eighties. He took me to see Fleetwood Mac when I was four, I think I probably got lifelong hearing damage. Don’t remember a second of it. He only changed careers because my mom needed to start her residency. When I came out, he decided the best way to prove it wasn’t a big deal was by talking about all of the musicians he hooked up with before he married my mom.”
He grimaces, “He still likes telling those stories, so be prepared. My mom… she likes to let dad do the talking. She’s a little… blunt. But she doesn’t mean anything by it, she just struggles a little with strangers. And my siblings won’t be a problem. They’ll razz Tisha all night for the grandma thing, but it won’t upset anyone. And… besides, all of that is…”
Hari actually looks a little embarrassed now, the faintest flush rising up his neck. “I feel pretty sure they won’t have any problem with Rafael, but I know they won’t have any problem with you, because I already told them about you. Not the… werewolf thing, but… pretty much everything else. If Tisha hadn’t ambushed us with this I… I don’t know, I was already thinking about it.”
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i need another dain quest already 😭😭
#i mean in sumeru we had the main archon quest#and i'm not sure if inversion of genesis was before or after caribert but i'm guessing before?#either way. now that fontaine's archon quest has concluded. we should hopefully get it soon right????#dain. you can't just say that you have an ideaof who the sinner might be and then dip.#i know it's what you like to do but COME ON😭😭#and yes i wanna know who the sinner is but tbh. i just want new traveler lore in general#and i wanna see dainslief xudbucbfjcbc#maybe it's because i've been looking back at the previous quests and watching playthroughs of them#(specifically we will be reunited and caribert ((sorry chasm quest)))#so i realised just how much i forgot (especially from we will be reunited. i know it came out in 1.3 and i wasn't around back then but*#*still. it's been around two years since i played that quest and my memory sucks)#and because i was shocked about some of the stuff myself (and had a lot of omg that happened?????? moments)#i got super excited again xidncjnf#...can you tell i've been playing genshin a lot recently?#anyways. the traveler means so much to me.#talking#(my bad it wasn't in 1.3 i think but it's still 1.x)
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2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)
#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#the (edited) is quite unnecessary as it is most readily apparent lol but!!#I tried to rotate it 45 degrees ish and my lack of photo editing skills leaves much to be desired#anyways arm 😵💫❤️✨#I fear I'll be in a perpetual state of missing him#but I'll be savoring memories of him like light from a star still reaching earth years after its gone out 🌠#also that's overly dramatic hehe a new journey awaits!!! and I will be excited if he wants to share it with us!!!#until then I'll be blogging like its 2017 at times hehe#omg I was looking up top 2017 tracks and man there were some bangers that year 👏😎#okay nostalgia trip over I've been meaning to write but tbh I got myself all needlessly stressed!!#2025 is the year of not adding so much undue stress on myself - it's keeping me from flying!!!#also 2025 goals include drinking more water and less coffee 😒 sigh hehe#hope everyone has a very wonderful last day of the year!!!!#enjoying time with friends or fam or favorite hobbies ❤️#off to another chapter!! I hope good things are in store!!! 🎁🎉✨❤️#also if you read this far then hello and also my silliest yearning is Dan comes in to replace Liam in the summer#even tho RBR does Not deserve him and the stress of the sport with travel and media scrutiny are so much#retiring at 35? a dream!! but I do wonder what the vibe will be like after DTS drops#it feels like a proper goodbye had yet to come...idk#I'm still excited for Carlos and Max and Lewis and new faves too but#ahh I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said before#and he himself said he's done!!! so! c'est la vie#not goodbye but see ya later (in supercars or as a globetrotting dashing sponsor or just kickin it on the farm)#I'm at peace with all for the most part!!! but I'll be missing what could've been all the same#anyways I should go touch some grass! I'll be back soon!!#thank you everyone for all the kind tags my heart is like 💖💞💓💗💕!!!!#I appreciate this space and y'all so much ❤️❤️❤️ onto another year together!!#many more memories to make!!!
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have been thinking about professor sol even. professor bufo with no clearly discernable lesson plan. sol bufo ostensibly martial arts professor who spent two weeks running a yoga and meditation program and shows up to the next class with crochet hooks for everyone. professor bufo who is technically supposed to be assigning grades to students but hasnt given anyone less than an A because "i think they worked really hard and they did a great job :)" (referring to the ugliest and most malformed pot holder anyone has laid eyes upon in their life). professor bufo who is on his way to cluelessly kickstart the sexual awakening of about half the cohort of the academys new students. sol bufo adjunct professor who is gone half the year and his first class back is so immediately and easily baited into going into a long tangent about how cool his friends are. sol who is pretty sure hes easily the most useless professor on campus and almost cries when he sees his little desk overflowing with thank you notes at the end of the year. professor bufo absolutely fucking gloriously hot in the tightest little sweater vest because there were faculty complaints when he wore a crop top to class.
#ramble tag#ive been. ive been thinking.#aum. ultimately i just think.#like launchpad was a place for sol that was . place where he was demeaned abused exploited endangered and used#but he needed a place like that. so badly . really it was like. what else did he have.? the lightkeepers?#sol needed a place that would tell him he had a family . and thats what launchpad was!#launchpad is. if youre smart and talented and hardworking and brave enough then people will love and respect you. and you can belong.#and even if it was conditional sol needed a promise like that so badly .... the life that he dreamed of being within his reach.#so. IDK. i just. think...... and maybe this ooc but . well its POST CANON SO I CAN DO WHATEVER TF I WANT.#i just like to imagine sol as a . like yeah he has a minus one to intelligence and hes silly and stupid and very often incomprehensible. but#like . the kind of person who radiates kindness and passion. and maybe more than anything. unwaveringly believes in you no matter what.#i think. sol is very much a person who . on some level recognises the things he lacked in his life and compensates for it by extending that#to others. loudly and proudly shouting all the time. i want to care for you protect you help you believe in you support you and love you#:-) so. despite him being a . real hot mess. i think he would be a good teacher. even if he does for some reason spend a month teaching#his martial arts class how to cook a mean pasta.#(and not even mentioning sol travelling over bahumia to find kids like him who didnt are in bad situations and need a place where they can#be kids. and extending them a hand ... giving them a home and a space to just fuck around and make silly pots instead of fghting to survive)#ahem . ahem ahem. but WHATEVER#anyway if this is ooc i dont care because . thog dont caare .#this is post canon and this is a sandbox for me to do my silly little tag-yapping
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you know, i kind of wonder if ruby, having grown up with a Black mother and grandmother (and foster siblings??), might have picked up on the racism before the doctor did. cause like, the doctor has been white for, in their perspective, their entire life (what with their memories of being the timeless child and ruth!doctor having been wiped, and i think it's reasonable to assume this is still very very early days for 15). whereas, ruby probably had to have at some point as a child picked up on the fact that people were treating her differently from her family, right?
come to think of it — is ruby actually aware that the doctor didn't realize until the end? like — she doesn't still know about regeneration yet, right? cause if she doesn't, then it would make sense for her to have assumed that 15 did pick up on the microaggressions and just wanted to save these people even with that knowledge. really adds another layer to why this sucks for him
#dot and bubble#doctor who#dw#dr who#ruby sunday#fifteenth doctor#god. thats awful. like ruby having realized from early on and assuming the doctor knows so she doesnt mention it because she assumes like.#i mean. Time traveller. theres no way he hasnt dealt with this before right?#and of course shes wrong so its. just that much more of a gut punch for him#i cant imagine having raised ruby for 19 years carla (and / or cherry) wouldnt have at some point explained that stuff to ruby#i mean you wouldnt want your kid to think it was normal for them to get treated differently from their siblings#and many (shitty) people would assume carla loves the foster kids less than ruby anyway. i cant imagine that she would just let that go#especially if racism is also there compounding the foster kids getting treated worse than ruby#anyway im white if im out of line please tell me to shut up#ari opinion hour#some bonff#dw spoilers
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[Image description: A digital drawing of Jess from the film Triangle. The piece is comprised of different triangular sections, with Jess in the biggest central one. She is staring forward forlornly, mouth open slightly. She is heavily shadowed. Behind her, there's a stretch of the ocean and a sky with a few clouds. Theres a smudge of blood on her forehead, and she's sweating profusely. The two triangles above her show her hand aiming a shotgun and the hood of the film's killer respectively. Further below, there's a triangle which is a close-up of a mirror. Written in blood, it says "go to the theater", though not all of the text is visible. Jess is facing it. To the side of the main Jess drawing there's a sliver of a triangle showing a pile of unidentifiable corpses, all having similar colour schemes. They're drenched in blood. Between all of the sections there's blood red triangles, which drip inwards towards Jess. The colours are cold and desaturated, and the lineart is dark.]
Inktober - Day 20 (Uncharted)
Film - Triangle (Christopher Smith, 2009)
#inktober#inktober 2024#triangle 2009#triangle 2009 fanart#jess triangle 2009#jess triangle 2009 fanart#digital art#i love love love time travel tragedies#and time loop bullshit#and i dont really care how much sense it makes... in fact as long as the emotions are there i think it makes it better <3#jess is ughhhh love her shes going through it to the max#oh shit also#blood#anyway would recommend if u can turn ur brain off slightly#not that it doesnt make sense but it is certainly a 2000s slasher film about time travel if u know what i mean lol#anyway song of the day is wreck of the antionette by dave dee dozy beaky mich and tich#already mentioned my dddbmt obssession... so good...#this song makes me go insane sometimes <3
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my honest reaction
#once again the trailer just kind of makes me feel nothing but confusion at why theyre doing things the way they are#why is gerald still alive. even if it turns out to be time travel or him being frozen alongside shadow or something#it still takes away a lot of the emotional impact of shadows story ... why .....#the fact that theyre just seemingly having gerald be rouge's replacement in the dark story trio too???? what. thats stupid .#and speaking of rouge. where are rouge and amy. ive never seen a single good argument to justify their exclusion here#why is the only girl character from the games whos present the one who famously dies horribly for male characters' motivation#(to be clear im not saying the way maria's death is handled in the games is bad writing or anything#just that having her be the only girl character to have a movie counterpart is certainly A Choice.)#and. why are team sonic (and human characters associated with them who are supposed to be the good guys) working with gun .#gun literally does nothing but cause problems for sonic in sa2 ?!?!?!??!?!#even if it does turn out theyre not being completely honest with sonic about what shadow's whole deal is thats still. why ...#i wasnt expecting an exact recreation of sa2 but that doenst mean i have to be okay with every possible change they make either#especially when a lot of this stuff just actively makes the story worse. sa2 im so sorry they did this to you#honestly probably wouldnt bother me quite as much if this was a comic or tv show or something#and not . a big popular movie that is probably going to overshadow the game in a lot of peoples minds. ughhhh#also shadow has still only had a couple lines so maybe its not fair for me to say anything just yet#but i dont . really like how he sounds from what we've heard .. why did the ycast keanu reeves this sucks#idris elba as knuckles is starting to annoy me too tbh . like i didnt care for it at first but then it grew on me#and now im back to not really liking it . that is NOT knuckles#anyway. im honestly struggling to understand how so many fans of the games are uncritically excited about the movie ?#and dont have any problem with the writing choices being made here.. ?#do they just not care how shadow's story is portrayed as long as he looks cool doing it .. ?#im not saiyng the people who are excited are fake fans i just . dont get it
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you don't understand i was obsessed with Night at the Museum as a kid and i loved Jed and subconsciously shipped him with Octavius before i even knew you were allowed to ship two boys together, heck, before i even knew what shipping was, and now Owen Wilson is Mobius and it's the same fucking thing again where he's playing a heavily queer-coded character but the media they're in forces him to call his soulmate his 'friend' but there's no fucking way they're straight but this time around i know what shipping is and i know what homosexuality is and maybe d*sney will never let them kiss but hell if that's gonna stop me from losing my mind over them-
#they mean so much to me#both lokius and jedtavius#it's like. now i know that's allowed#and shit may not be ideal regarding lgbt representation in media but at the very least we can have our fun with it#and it's kinda funny that my gay awakening was fucking. night at the museum.#but in all seriousness when i think about how young i was feeling those feelings i couldn't explain#wondering why i wanted two boys to kiss when 'that's so silly!'#'boys don't kiss boys!'#'they kiss girls!!!'#i just. get a little emotional. like i know i've always 'been this way' but i find comfort in every little thing like this i can point to#*remembers the subject of this post is tiny gay people and time travelling gay people* anyways-#gaylight post#loki#loki series#natm#lokius#mobius#marvel loki#night at the museum#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#jedtavius#natm jedediah#natm octavius
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ANYWAY i recently got into tng and am now super obsessed with wesley (just a lil dude!! why does everyone hate him i don't get it!!) and all the Implications and Potential that his character had (and has)
like your father killed on duty, lingering resentment with the man who feels responsible for it, the same man whose words are like gospel to you, who gives you every single opportunity that you shouldn't be given, who was only persuaded to do so by a somewhat higher being who is oh so carefully crafting your life in just the right ways for Something, constantly being brought forward and pushed away, too many parent figures and only one and none, the only meaningful friendships you have are with people twice your age (they will always see you as a child), you do everything for Him, everything for His legacy (your dead father? your captain? they're so closely intermingled and so far apart), you finally reach what everyone knows you're going to do, you get into the best team in the school, you have a best friend (was he something more? do you even remember?), you kill him (it's so much more than that but the black and white is addicting), everyone hates you, He's disappointed in you, how long has it been since you could look your mother in her eyes, you want to die but that would be unfair, how dare you feel guilty, and oh look, the beings who have watched you for your whole life (they knew this would happen) want you to join them. there's never been another choice. the prodigal son always completes his duties.
#GOD#ive only had wesley for a day and half but if anything happened to him i would kill everyone in this room and then myself#except everything is happening to him all the time#like NO ONE on the enterprise thinks its Weird that this guy is So into wesley and knows exactly when to show up to help#and conveniently there's an open spot for him in the time space cult roster when his life is falling apart and he has no direction#(no one is giving him direction)#i think about wesley too long and i implode#not even getting into the whole thing with jack 2....#anyway i watched a bit of prodigy because i wanted to see wesley as a traveler and i gotta say i Do Not like it akjdg#i really wanted to but i just couldnt#some people like him because he feels happier#but all i can think about is why would he be#sure its nice in some ways i wont deny that#but he's isolated he's important he's meaningless nothing he does matters everything he does matters it's too much and not enough#it's the exact same position he was in at starfleet. something Bigger than him telling him who he is what he means what his morals are#ALSO HE GOES BACK HE GOES BACK TO STARFLEET HE SERVES UNDER RIKER LIKE HELLO#god there's so much more too like how many times has he almost died as a child remember when he fucking did die#how many times did the adults around him get controlled and hurt them#genuinely think wesley has felt helpless his entire life and that culminates in him being obsessed with needing to know everything#that happens on the ship + eventually running away to the Know Everything In The Multiverse Cult + going back to starfleet#his whole life has been him fighting for control while simultaneously bowing his head at every parental figure#wesley: surely This Guy can give me a sense of purpose and identity#it started with jack man... wesley never really escaped i really dont think he did#wesley crusher#anyway i need a nova squadron fixit fic sooo badly it's ruining every day of my life#on one hand i love them tragic and depressed and dead on the other what if happy yippee hooray???
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Maybe I need to write Cardinal's Map so there's a contemporary book about the power of literature and reaching for a world beyond the mundane that isn't wall-to-wall inspirational platitudes with vague worldbuilding about the battle between the forces of good vs. evil.
#i say as though i would be able to avoid trite inspirational platitudes and vague worldbuilding#anyway my driving-filled day had me listening to nearly half of 'nightfall in the garden of deep time'#and i do like it#but it seems to be an awfully long and wordy book for a very simple story#(maybe it's the author's librivox-ish narration and my increased listening speed making it worse but it's still a thing)#anyway the vague inspirational messages about the power of creativity are getting to be a bit much#especially combined with worldbuilding that's mostly cryptic statements about how important it is for art to be good true and beautiful#which is a good thing! it'd just be nice if it was even a little subtle about it sometimes#i feel like this suffers coming after the latest amanda dykes book#with a lot of beauty but also a lot of characters who spoke solely in artsy inspirational platitudes#and coming after that one mg time travel book#that was supposed to be about a bookshop bringing in people from across time#but turned out to mostly be 'books are good which means this bookshop is full of good magic that needs to balance evil magic'#which was very stupid and didn't make use of the bookshop part of the premise at all#and anyway those similarities are dragging this book down for me#actually 'once a queen' did a pretty decent job with these kinds of things#worldbuilding kind of vague and metaphory but overall still an actual world#and characters who learned lessons without everyone in their life speaking only to metaphorically discuss the theme#anyway the actual book in question has me invested#but also rushing through it to get to the story beats because it's taking too long to get there#starting to suspect this would have made a good novella#because we know she's going to have a creative epiphany so dragging out the metaphors only hurts things
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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apparently we're not out of the woods on holiday trauma responses just yet - i'm hoping we're on the tail end of it but like. good lord.
#this post brought to you by#dissociating so hard i had to quit playing magic#it wasn't that far into the game and i don't know wtf is going on with this but like. christ.#i'm so tired of having to come down from huge crying jags and panic and the fear of my mother coming to Get Me for not being Good Enough#like#what the fuck man#i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this#i thought i was DONE with the goo stage what do you MEAN there's more#cofronting has at least been less chaotic with only a couple people manning the helm at any given time#but like....christ alive can i just like. i don't know#how do you ask for vacation days off from your own brain? cause i'm exhausted man#i'm exhausted with this shit how is this the way i gotta go through life every day#like i could quit food service when i felt like this - and i did#but like. you can't opt out of your shifts in brain because that's where you live y'know?#ugh. i'm...something is wrong and i don't know what i did to fuck up this time but i don't like this#phrasing intentional to mean ''i have done an activity or action that has caused some sort of disruption in my brain that has made things#more difficult for myself due to brain chemistry and it has been relatively recently''#i don't think it's the meds i'm fairly certain it's the mental illness i already know about and am aware of it's just kicking up a fuss#because i don't enjoy this time of year and i won't start being Cool about things until january starts up properly#and there's always the risk it'll continue on through that due to other circumstances but i'm really hoping it'll just calm down#because the Threat of Christmas Celebration isn't imminent#(we *very* rarely celebrated past couchweek and that was usually involving a lot of travel so once january is here and Festivities die down#i'll start hopefully feeling more like a coherent person and not just a miserable ball of trauma)#anyway. i'm...gonna wait for dinner to be done and i can eat that and then maybe i schedule some i do not exist time to myself where#i just am in my room making no noise and pretending i don't exist but like it's a positive thing and not a negative one#because if i don't exist my ribs can't hurt and also the trauma can't gets me#(this is mostly a joke don't worry about it too much i rarely actually request Quiet Alone Time)#normally i just sorta Acquire it and vibe#until i am reminded i have a physical form and the world can inflict forces upon me
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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this guy i’m talking to is so nice and understanding and patient and thoughtful and funny??? i’m not used to this???
#like i dropped for like 3 days bc i was rly busy and cramming stuff for work and travel so i came back and apologized for being MIA#and he took it so well????#like he deliberately decided to give me space cause i have a heads up that my week was busier than anticipated#AND he said that he’d GLADLY wait his turn for me to reply???#and when i suggested a date that i was free (almost 2 weeks after our first date) he said that he’s looking forward to it???#y’all i am so out of my element here#i’ve never had a bumble match like this before#they’ve never made it out of chats and into a first date#AND NOW WE’RE PLANNING A SECOND DATE???#and he’s rooting for me to finish all my to do’s and to take breaks and all#MY AVOIDANT SELF IS FIGHTING FOR ITS LIFE RN#it’s taking so much for me to CALM THE FUCK DOWN#and to just be grateful and at peace that he’s patient and seems to genuinely want to see me again#even if it means that it’s always at my pace (which is admittedly slow) 🥺#anyway ok bye i gotta go back to work shajakkskdjdjds#rambles#dating
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