#anyways im so sad. and heartbroken
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Me when James Gunn puts a vocaloid song in Guardians of the Galaxy 3:
Me when James Gunn uses said vocaloid song for an easy gag and it plays for less than 10 seconds:
#looked up 'sad football' to make this amazing post#anyways im so sad. and heartbroken#. n..#01/10 no miku.#mikutimetalk#im still watching i just stepped away
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#p4g#persona 4 golden#p4#persona 4#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#ok ok this scene gets to me so bad actually#because yes on the one hand hes playing up that big brother role again#reminding kanji of HIS role as nanako's big brother as well#but its also reminiscent of yosuke's tendency to hide his own sadness and put up a front for others so they wouldnt catch on#i think in this moment its not necessarily a bad thing and yosuke was kind of right (imo anyway)#keeping their spirits high would be a more comforting sight for nanako#who wouldnt want to see them worried#i think its such a strong reflection of yosuke's consideration towards others#part of me is like yes kanji is the one that said it but hes just voicing what everyone else was also thinking in that moment#and yosukes response isnt just for kanji but also for the team and esp Yu#because of them all Yu is the one that undoubtedly looked most heartbroken considering how protectice he was of nanako#even though we cant really see it in game it's very clear how his reaction is like in p4u when he thought nanako might be in danger#anyway yu didnt have a speaking line in this scene so i could be delulu but im pretty sure it was about him as well#he's good with his queue
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friendly reminder that this exists
“i don't think luke is presenting an argument either way. because i think luke also, of any jedi in the galaxy, understands what it would be like to be with the person you care about most -- to be with your father figure”
#dinluke#filoni gets it - he gets that luke wanted to present grogu w a choice#a modern jedi who wouldnt make the decision for him like his predecessors would#luke knows what its like to lose his uncle and aunt his master and his father#hed never want grogu to lose his dad#or make that choice for him#luke is such a good egg#i just have the big sad thinking that luke was only a cameo bc although he was a good mentor he wasnt destined to be grogus master#thats the vibe i get#so it gets me thinking they wont bring him back#but god i hope im wrong#like he was the perfect jedi for grogu to learn that lesson from and the perfect person to show him kindness and understanding and compassio#compassion#at that point in grogus young life#and thats all it will be#but heres hoping im wrong 🙃#i do feel like s3 will be all abt mandalore tho and luke wont be in it#maybe s4 grogu will come back around to accepting both his jedi abd mandalorian halves#but not before that#but anyway.. just slowly breaking it to myself not to expect luke so im not heartbroken lmao#tagging dinluke because cmon theyre his dads#star wars
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Looking at my old bendy posts is so sad. I used to post dissections of the story and fun things in it, I'd still like to do that but Mike sucks out so much of my energy but I also constantly feel the need to post about whatever dumb shit he says so I can explain to people why it's bad and shouldn't be supportive. On his youtube post a ton of people are being so kind to him and I'm just baffled. This rude asshole who has been nothing but bigoted towards his fans who want to see more diversity gets to be seen as some massive victim because HE said some dumb shit and people didn't like it? What about the young queers who were devastated to find out they'd never be represented in Bendy? What about the people of color who had to witness the graphic novel be filled with almost nothing but white people, with the only canonical person of color now being a book-exclusive [aka Non-Canon] character? Why do they matter so little to so many people? Why do the feelings of Mike, who has literally earned every bit of hate he's ever gotten, matter more than those of the people he's hurt? Why do I have to be the one who constantly updates tumblr on the new stupid shit he's saying no matter how tired and upset it makes me to have to constantly talk about the awful things he constantly says and then gets away with.
I miss being able to talk positively about Bendy, when most of my posts were just talking about cool things I thought about from the franchise. But being honest, I don't think I can ever go back to that time either. With stuff like the bendy books being no longer canon when they contain the best writing in the entire franchise and the way Mike shits himself at any critique he gets... I just can't speak positively of Bendy without some sort of "But..." Anymore, this franchise just fucking sucks currently.
I could make the posts I wanted to about stuff like how much I love Norman but I don't like Game Norman cause he lacks the interesting bits the books added and Book Norman has an awful design now thanks to these assholes! I could make all the posts I had wanted to about BATDR and its story, but I don't like to speak positively of the games anymore cause I don't want people to support them! I could make more posts on the books but then I'll be reminded that all this great writing Kress did, the bendy devs are completely ungrateful for! I literally can't speak purely nice of this franchise anymore cause at every turn I'm faced now with just how much it's been ruined and how much of that happened recently. I miss being able to make a causal nice post about Bendy but now I feel I can't do so without it being misleading or not the full story, Mike has tainted this fucking franchise with his presence and the fact Meatly lets him speak for both of them without stopping him or challenging him makes me assume he thinks the same way Mike does. Ughhhhhhhhhh
#ramblez#sorry there's not really a point to this post its just me rambling and being angry n sad lmao#Im not this heartbroken over not being able to make posts like I used to I have other things I should focus on more anyways#but it still sucks looking back at that norman n henry post I made n knowing it kinda falls apart bc literally the best and most interestin#part of it was dissecting how norman spoke of henry in the books and now theyre not canon anymore#I literally couldnt make that post as wholesome as it used to be now bc doing so would be misleading#thats how far gone this franchise is lmao#anyways thats it for now Ill prolly contunie to make nothing but bendy sucks and heres why posts until the end of time now sorry but its#mikes fault far as Im concerned#just you guys wait for me to talk about why the cage is gonna be bad cause Im gonna rip that entire games premise a new one n explain why#it literally has to be underwhelming or doesnt make sense yippeeee
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i will never be able to put into words how amazing it is to have hanae natsuki play mikoto
#milgram#im actually this guys biggest fan#i freak out over his role announcements literally every time i see them even if i have no fuckin idea who hes playing#im just happy hes getting roles man#such a phenomenal voice actor#i get so sad whenever hes doing sad scenes because just hearing his voice sound heartbroken makes ME heartbroken#doesnt matter how dogshit the rest of the series was#if a hanae natsuki character is sad then IM sad#im emotionally deranged over mikoto. as u can imagine#lxm textposts#also in case anyone doesnt know he has a youtube channel#and its the funniest fucking thing ever because he only plays horror games#and the other day he posted a lethal company video and its like#dude why is kayano mikoto playing lethal company LMFAO#god i wish i knew japanese i just watch these vids having absolutely no idea whats being said but i enjoy it so much anyway
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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God i feel weird i just found out this guy i was kinda friends with died in a crash and its not like we were super close buddies but we sat in class next to eachother for two classes we were in and i was suppose to catch a movie with him i literally just added him on this social media app like a month or two ago
#my silly little posts#i dont know its not like we were besties so i shoupdnt be so sad and im not like heartbroken but i dont know#its also weird cause telling my family about it theyre not very sympathetic theyre like ‘sad anyways’ so it feels weird to feel sad about it
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i had a dream i had a beautiful loving friendship with gus fring to match the one where i was besties with mike. im so broken take me BACK!!!!!
#i could FIX him#alsooooo jesse was there i think he like. helped save gus at some point idk#i was like god damn best episode EVARRRR. heartbroken#i dont rlly remember the details i kinda slept like shit so im a bit scrambled#but ik we were fucking around w like.. game code? to make a pet shop?#so fucking random#we made a starfish and fucked up dog. there was a pool. a guy tried to kill gus. OH#he got shot and i had to stop him from bleeding out until the ambulance arrived#also he called. and cus they were super busy he was like ‘i can provide information aboyt felonies. also i have been shot in the chest’ LOL#wtf mike got shot in my dream abt him too. why thats so random#there was also a separate dream abt ummm. idk some sort of puzzle thing we had to do as a team…? saul was there. he set a fire as a scheme#but the fire ppl wouldnt come until he said there were ppl inside 😭#idk if i ever talked abt the mike dream here actually.#we were just friends…. besties… and he got SNIPED…….. and i tried to save him but he died#it was so sad the next day i was sad like all morning#feels similar now. miss u gus#^^^ EFFECTS OF ZERO FRIENDS#ummm anyway. more updates#i bought a meta quest like on impulse cus i saw they were cheaper now. the thing fucking sucks but vr is so awesome#ive been mostly playing beat saber cus my room is teeny tiny so i cant rlly safely turn#i started making my own map w a patricia taxxon song. SUPER fun i can see this becoming a new hobby#ive also been fucking around in vrchat a little. that shit is mindblowing#so immersive. its like unbelievable#ive only been playing that solo rn bc im shy and also testinb how well my laptop csn hsndle it LOL….#but its so awesome. i feel like a little kid#i had to get a better headstrap and face pad bc the stock pne is So bad. like i camt wear it for more thsn like 20 mins at a time#so maybe when that comes i will muster up the courage to go into public worlds#best world i have visted so far. udons bird sanctuary. i think irs called#U CAN FEED DUCKSSSSS. WAAAAGHHHH#one day i want to make my own avatar too. im feeling the inspiration
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i have a severe one-sided beef with this very very very big popular taylor blog on here
#i won’t name names but im 95% sure you have seen them they are VERY big on here#they just… always answer asks which is whatever but the way they talk about taylor’s private life… ooof…#it’s not even about omg xyz sons reminds me of 123 event in taylor’s life#is more like#anon: taylor wrote this song about this situation and she said this bc of that right?#the blog: so close! actually here’s a very detailed explanation about her personal private life that tells us in thorough detail#what she thinks and feels#anon: thoughts on tonight surprise songs?#the blog: of course she chose those she’s SAD and HEARTBROKEN did you see her CRY she misses him SO MUCH she cant do without him#…uuuuh sure….#like maybe they’re right ! but its so weird how all they do is talk about that ! in that way !#anyways as i said its a one sided beef i have cause apparently no one else bats an eye cause they’re beloved here#x
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just finished jade war. Um ‼️
#girl. i have never been more stressed reading a book oh my goddddd those final few chapters had me by the fucking throat#i gasped countless times. i had to put the book down and PACE and that never happens ever .......#every moment i wasn't reading my gut was roiling with anxiety wondering what was going to happen next#fonda lee had me on the edge of my fucking seat that's for sure#okay im going to talk about spoilers now so look away if you must#THE DEATH SCARES WITH RU AND WEN AND ANDEN HAD ME SCREAMINGGGGG I WAS SO SCARED WTF#also we Love the poetic cinema of anden’s climactic scene in the first book being him taking away life and then in this book#it's him giving life back#LOVE!!!!!!! and he was always good at channeling so it ties in beautifully#also this is sooooo trivial but even though i was actually kind of heartbroken he broke things off with cory—#i hope he can try something with lott 👀 like. please....he had a crush on this emo kid for the longest time back at the academy. so cute#but i mean they're two very different people now so i'd understand if that doesn't happen but now that anden is back in janloon i really#hope he and lott can like. spend more time together and get to catch up#ANYWAY!!!!!! i need to talk about BERO bc for some reason i ended up getting sooo attached to him#like yeah he's an awful street rat who's done awful things but he's just trying to make something out of his life#also Love how he's bestowed with such turbulent luck as it's stated over and over again like literally Anything could happen to bero#but i was kinda sad when mudt jr was murdered (that scene gave me chills btw it was so horrific...green bones don't mess around)#bc he and bero Were kinda sorta friends and i loved their constant bickering and how they did come to appreciate each other's company :(#also obsessed with how the books start and end with bero like oh shit i wonder what godawful scheme he's trying to pull off now#boy....just let it rest!!!! you have a proper job at a restaurant now you could make a normal life for yourself!!!!#now he wants to ruin the clans by joining the rebellion.....of courseeeee#anyway bero is a delight and i love seeing where fate takes him he really is a plaything of the gods#god i still can't believe kehn is dead :(((( are you fucking kidding me. AND MARO. that was fucked up.#also hellooooo i need ayt madashi pov chapters right nowwwww she's such an enigma she's so scary i need to know what goes on in her head#also. girl. the cycle of violence is going to keep happening over and over as long as rhe clans still stand :/#the mountain and no peak are just going to keep trying to get the upper hand on each other no matter how much they talk about peace#maybe i agree with and support bero after all hfkshfhdh maybe a rebellion is what's needed after all#bc they're just going to keep going at each other's throats#i need jade legacy right nowwww hopefully i get it from the library in the next few days
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book depository closing down. no nice things allowed.
#i cannot express enough just how much this upsets me#that was the only way for me to get books at affordable price thanks to the free shipping#because the prices here on overseas and indie books are pretty jacked up and the shipping from other websites is also very painful#so no winning#and we're not even mentioning that some books you just cant get here anyway#man im so sad actually heartbroken#they also delivered super fast the catalogue is expansive and the website overall was nice#man im glad i had the chance to pre-order my s/vsss special edition because without book depository i wouldnt had the chance at all#again. no way to get it here and the shipping from other website would make it very unreasonable monetary decision#with how our currency is holding up against others#oh well#guess ill just order t/housand autumns while i still have the chance :(#and light a candle for it#also fpr context i briefly looked why theyre closing and apparently they were bought by amazon in 2011 and now they are making cuts#so bd took the hit#edit. scrolled through the bd tag and seeing other non US/UK ppl heartbroken over it really hits o(-(#saying theyll order a lot now because they most likely wont order books online after that because the shipping just is so much pain#and yea that really do be it huh. man...#like ok i know theres maybe some other website out there that could work out well enough#but this was THE place#good prices and guarantee of quality with how big and long standing it was
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and when i remember that my soulmate who doesn't want to be friends w me anymore and lowkey admitted theyve hated me for a while and just didn't wanna tell me cause they "selfishly liked talking to me cause at least i was smart and fun to talk to" is still posting abt our travels together as a webcomic online lmfao i wanna kms
#its so fkcing daunting !!! it keeps being daunting !!!#i have dreams where they accept to talk to me and explain themselves and say sorry and we can both talk it out#its so fkcing sad lmao#im so heartbroken#knowing that smewhere our relationship exists online in comics form#like its all fine & shit#its just like#awful#ig#i feel like a liar ? im not even responsible for that part but still#its like watching an alternative universe#anyways#guess ill cook carrots
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i'm currently watching the banshees of inisherin and i'm having a sad time
#(don't ask how i'm watching it shhh)#idk the movie had been on my radar but since taylor did the directors on directors i've been intrigued#and it's shaping up to be an amazing movie but it's making me feel so sad like literally heartbroken#it's so funny bc it's just about a failed friendship but it's not funny at all at the same time you know#anyway i'll say more when i'm done at the moment im just enjoying the wonderful irish accents#they're my favorite i swear to god it makes the language feel so like. right fojsndfjsd
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I'm not ok 👍
#me and my ex partner haven't talked in so long#they ( understandably ) blocked me after they broke up with me because i was kinda being a dick and was like fuck you#but it's like.... it's difficult to accept the fact that they blocked me and i guess im just sad#i go to message them and remember that theres no point because 1 they probably wouldnt reply to me anyway and 2 they blocked my number#so im kinda just here like what the fuck this is all my fault and I'm a terrible partner and they probably got so sick of me#so yknow#it's my fault i guess#feels like it always is#break ups fuckin SUCK btw did i mention that#break ups#heartbroken#personal#i miss you#I'm sorry#ugh
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More talking to myself
#the being sad comes and goes but at least its not soul crushing like i thought it would be#not yet anyways#i went to go see my aunt with my mom yesterday. she was actually awake and seemed to at least acknowledge we were there#it was very sweet. we feel horrible for my uncle#hes so heartbroken and i feel bad that thats the part im most sad about#anyways. i know now shes gonna be gone by the end of the week. if she doesnt pass before tuesday theyre pulling her off the ventilator#that night because wednesday is her birthday#i dont know if having a time frame in mind makes it better or worse. im just sad
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.
#so ive never really done a vent post like this on here (or anywhere for that matter)#so idrk how this is gonna go but ig im gonna try it anyway cause idrk what else to do at this point lmao#look. listen. i know. i know *logically* that if i did die or disappear or whatever i know people would miss me#i know people would be sad and heartbroken and i know people care about me listen. i *know*#but i just. i cant help but think that everything would be better if i just. wasnt here#like. i just feel like such a burden to everyone around me. like i feel like i make everyones life actively worse#especially my dad#god he deserves so much better than me#i treat him so fucking badly like. all he asks of me is to keep my spaces clean and i just fucking. dont#i let the shit and the garbage pile up until hes overwhelmed cause i cant fucking bring myself to do simple fucking human tasks#cause of my fucking adhd or whatever#even though thats just an excuse#i should be able to do these things! i should be able to function like a normal human being!#i should be able to keep up with my hygiene and my chores and my school and work responsibilities!#but i cant! i fucking cant!#god im so fucking tired im fighting. im so tired of trying over and over and over again all for it to not fucking matter in the end#cause im right back where i fucking started#god all of this is just a shitty excuse to continue being a shit fucking human being#i dont even feel human anymore lol i feel *less* than human#god i wish i was less than human. i wish i was a fucking dog or something#that way i wouldnt have to worry about this bullshit world#that says a lot about me huh#im gonna end it there#ignore this pls#vent#tw vent
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