#mikes fault far as Im concerned

[reel-fear]

Looking at my old bendy posts is so sad. I used to post dissections of the story and fun things in it, I'd still like to do that but Mike sucks out so much of my energy but I also constantly feel the need to post about whatever dumb shit he says so I can explain to people why it's bad and shouldn't be supportive. On his youtube post a ton of people are being so kind to him and I'm just baffled. This rude asshole who has been nothing but bigoted towards his fans who want to see more diversity gets to be seen as some massive victim because HE said some dumb shit and people didn't like it? What about the young queers who were devastated to find out they'd never be represented in Bendy? What about the people of color who had to witness the graphic novel be filled with almost nothing but white people, with the only canonical person of color now being a book-exclusive [aka Non-Canon] character? Why do they matter so little to so many people? Why do the feelings of Mike, who has literally earned every bit of hate he's ever gotten, matter more than those of the people he's hurt? Why do I have to be the one who constantly updates tumblr on the new stupid shit he's saying no matter how tired and upset it makes me to have to constantly talk about the awful things he constantly says and then gets away with.

I miss being able to talk positively about Bendy, when most of my posts were just talking about cool things I thought about from the franchise. But being honest, I don't think I can ever go back to that time either. With stuff like the bendy books being no longer canon when they contain the best writing in the entire franchise and the way Mike shits himself at any critique he gets... I just can't speak positively of Bendy without some sort of "But..." Anymore, this franchise just fucking sucks currently.

I could make the posts I wanted to about stuff like how much I love Norman but I don't like Game Norman cause he lacks the interesting bits the books added and Book Norman has an awful design now thanks to these assholes! I could make all the posts I had wanted to about BATDR and its story, but I don't like to speak positively of the games anymore cause I don't want people to support them! I could make more posts on the books but then I'll be reminded that all this great writing Kress did, the bendy devs are completely ungrateful for! I literally can't speak purely nice of this franchise anymore cause at every turn I'm faced now with just how much it's been ruined and how much of that happened recently. I miss being able to make a causal nice post about Bendy but now I feel I can't do so without it being misleading or not the full story, Mike has tainted this fucking franchise with his presence and the fact Meatly lets him speak for both of them without stopping him or challenging him makes me assume he thinks the same way Mike does. Ughhhhhhhhhh

[stevie-petey]

can we get a halloween blurb? i’d love to see season 1-2 bug take the kids trick or treating or something cute along the lines of thay!!

I SAVED THIS BABY FOR HALLOWEEN !!! absolutely yes i miss writing bug with all the boys </33

enjoy !

"jonathan will be here any minute."

"why do we have to wait for him? its his fault hes late." dustin grumbles, tossing his pillow sack over his shoulder. the bag hits softly against the padding of his hulk costume.

you fix one of his skewed shoulder pads. "hes our ride, buddy. be nice."

"some candy would be nice."

ignoring your brother, you adjust your own costume. this year you let the party choose what you dressed as, and honestly you shouldve known better. the witch hat they shoved on your head is heavier than you ever thought possible and the fake, pointy nose they snickered at smells like feet.

jonathan, however, absolutely loves your costume.

"nice nose, bug." he snorts, flicking the fake tip with his finger. it wiggles in a gross, comedic way that agitates you further.

"i'll kill you."

will pokes his head to the front. "i think you look nice, y/n."

"and this is why you're my favorite, little bee."

will beams at you, looking painfully adorable in his quicksilver costume. the frayed edges of his suit tells you that joyce made it.

when mike sees you, he almost chokes on his candy. it takes lucas and jonathan aggressively swatting his back to dislodge the wafer. mike sputters on the ground, panting heavily. its truly a sight to see: lucas, dressed as blade, attacking mike, dressed as captain america.

"almost died." mike breathes out, pointing a lazy finger at your nose. "but that was so worth it."

you glare at the kid, kicking his padded stomach. he screeches and rolls on the ground to avoid your foot while dustin, lucas, and will all laugh.

jonathan stands to the side with them, watching you fondly. he hadnt worn a costume tonight. instead, he brought a backpack full of your old clothes and an extra jacket for you tonight. when you told him what the boys had wanted you to wear, he knew youd last only half the night. as much as you love to please the party, theres only so much you can last wearing an old, smelly plastic nose.

and jonathan is right. after the first few blocks around mikes neighborhood, he notices you ducking your head down as you pass strangers. a little girl screams when she sees you at one point.

"im sorry!" you shout to her mom, wincing. the woman glares at you and tugs her child away angrily. you turn and sigh, leaning against jonathan. "theres no way my costume is that scary."

jonathan rubs your side. "the nose is a bit... rough."

"im gonna kill mike."

"we both know it was dustins idea."

"hey, slowpokes!" mike shouts at you and jonathan. "hurry up, the rich are running out of the big candy bars!"

you tilt your head. "did he just say 'the rich'?"

jonathan kisses your head. "yeah. ive taught him well."

"he knows that hes the rich, right?" the wheelers practically live in a mansion, as far as youre concerned.

"not yet," tugging your hand, jonathan hurries your footsteps so as to not get yelled at by mike again. "hes in for a rude awakening when he realizes, though."

at some point in the night, sometime after dustin skins his knee running after a frog and you ditched the witch costume for the clothes jonathan brought you, the late october chill sets in.

will shivers slightly as he walks, his costume too thin to protect against the weather. dustin and the others are up ahead, eager to get to the last few houses before curfew. jonathan is with them. its his turn to knock on the door, anyways.

"you cold?" you ask will, not even bothering to wait for his response before taking your own jacket off. "here."

"no, im okay-" he tries to shrug it off, but you quickly zip the jacket, locking his small body inside.

"nope. cant have you getting sick. your mom would kill me."

will snorts. "my mom would never kill you. she loves you more than she loves me and jonathan."

you giggle, shoving him gently. "and i intend to keep it that way."

"y/n!" lucas calls over, waving a bag of cookies in the air. "this house gave us cookies. they suck. do you want 'em?"

"im good," you decline, shaking your head. "but dont be rude, im sure they were baked with love."

"more like baked with acid." dustin gags, spitting his out. he starts to wipe his tongue with the back of his hand and youre too tired to berate him.

will takes a bite and immediately spits his out as well. lucas and mike argue over who gets to chug water first to rid the taste in their mouths.

theyre a mess. a giant, chaotic, forceful mess.

but you catch jonathans eyes and find that hes staring at them fondly too. linking your arm through his, you rest your head against his shoulder. "what are we going to do with them, bee?"

jonathan laughs. "i have no idea."

[hearts401]

heyyyyy I just want to say I love your art I want to gobble it up it’s so good…

but I am GENUINELY curious to hear your thoughts on Liz and mikes relationship because I know you’ve talked about cc and Liz and mike and cc but im so curious to hear what you think about Liz and mikes relationship

if you’ve already talked about them this would be really awkward erm

WAAH IN GLAD U LIKE MY ART TEEHEEE

THANK YOU FOR ASKING IM PULLING OUT A COMICALL LARGE SCRIPT BECAUSE OOOOO NOBODY EVER ASKS ME ABOUT THEM BC IM BIG ON THE BROTHERS BUT BUT BUT HEAR ME OUT

SO I’ve said before that liz avoids her brothers and just overall doesn’t wanna be associated with them bc they’re both annoying. She’s blunt and rude especially to them. as a teen mike HATED HER with a passion. She was his bratty little sister who got all their dads attention, but he couldn’t do anything about it because if he so much as nudged her too hard she’d go straight to William. She knows how to get under Michaels skin but that’s not her goal

Her goal is to be honest with him

She’ll tell him “everything would be easier if you’d behave. Daddy wouldn’t treat you like this if you behaved”

She talks down to Michael, like he’s a problem child. Because that’s what her father does. She’s giving advice knowing he’s not going to take it since he doesn’t take it from their father

So their dynamic is a bit of hatred and rivalry for Williams attention back and forth. Until Evan dies.

Elizabeth was never close to Evan but he was still her brother. And she’s a kid, she doesn’t fully understand how blame and fault works. She just knows Evan died because of Michael. Because Michael didn’t listen. Didn’t behave, and now not only is someone hurt THEY ARE DEAD. William probably uses this to his advantage to isolate Michael more, treating Michael like he’s not safe to be around. Elizabeth doesn’t think he’s safe to be around.

She has resentment and discomfort built up around Michael because what is she supposed to think of him?

And Michael is sorry he’s so sorry he hates being around him too he didn’t mean it but now his sister won’t meet his eyes or talk to him and she no longer gives him her long lectures because clearly he’s too far gone he’s not a problem child he’s a murderer as far as she’s concerned. You can’t fix something that breaks itself

This is also around the time Michael stops violently hating Will because after all, he brought this upon himself, didn’t he? But even when William stops treating him like the worst son on earth, Liz still avoids him. Because she’s a kid. She doesn’t fully understand what’s going on but she doesn’t like him. She prefers her father.

After she dies things are muddled. She’s working against mike thinking he’s William but she doesn’t want to KILL William but she has to

Then there’s two options

A) she finds out he’s Michael and decides she doesn’t want him dead because he’s still her brother

B) she still thinks he’s William and that’s why she brought him back

I’m going with A because I like it more

She let him live. Continue living his life. She gave back to him but he still came to stop her and for what? Why can’t he just let her be! She saved him the least he could do is leave her alone and let her do what she was made to do!!!

But he sets her free. She deserves to go to hell with her father but he sets her free

She doesn’t deserve to go to hell, she’s a kid. She’s just a kid.

I think she really missed Michael

[conanssummerchild]

finallly analising this jdskdjsksj

okay so to start off, the song summer child is pretty much about a person who is hurting, who's struggling but people dont notice, just to summarise it very very quickly. there is so much more to the song tho, and i'll get into that now.

and disclaimer in case i make someone mad, im not saying that mike fits every word of the song, this isnt even rlly an analisis, more of like a silly thing i decided to make so no one come for me 😭 i am interested in hearing ur opinions tho

so anyway, conan starts the song with the lyrics

so with that first line hes saying smth like you see beauty even when there is none, or even when no one else does and in s1 yk how mike is tho only one who wants el to stick around, yeah. also when theyre getting bullied by troy and he says to dustin that he thinks its cool, like he has a superpower like the x men or smth (cant quite remember it)

anyway i dont have much to say abt line two but with all the shit they went thru with the upside down, its hard to imagine he wouldnt be at least a little afraid of the dark at night (also when i was little i was rlly scared of the dark and i kin mike so what i say goes /j)

(TW SELF HARM) i rlly cant say much abt the next line without turning this into projection central, but what i take from this line is conan talking abt self harm, i rlly dont know if this could b interpreted any other way tho? anyway its not that i think mike hurts himself, and there is no evidence in the show claiming he does (at least none that i know of, if there is tell me so i can project harder) but one time back when i got sent to therapy (and refused to talk to my therapist abt anything but mike wheeler) she tried to get deep w me and told me that a lot of people self harmed because they bottled up their feelings so much that in the end that was the only release they could get or theyd like explode, smth abt ppl who felt too much too big. ngl i dont rlly remember but honestly thats so mike wheeler if u ask me (what my therapist said)

ok so this is what i meant when i said not everything fit exactly, bcs while i dont think ted is a good father, i also dont think hes 'mean' in the way i think conan means it

green = byler. mindblowing ik /s

anyway the last two lines i feel like are less abt someone specifically running through sprinklers on their street and more about how when u were younger things were more simple and imo an important part of mikes arc is how he tries to make himself grow up faster, only to later mourn the better days that he lost and it was his fault, and if u ask me this part of his arc has to do with neurodivergency and maski- [GUNSHOTS]

ok and so we get to the part that made me start to think mike was summer child coded, mikes whole little pretense game he has going on, hiding parts of himself he feels arent good enough for people to see, how people have ignored and dismissed his feelings so many times to the point that he just gives up on trying to talk about them, how he struggles with his depression (yes i am a therapist i can officially diagnose him /j) but still puts so much time and effort into helping other people, he's selfless to a fault, to the point that hes hurting himself more than anything else.

how theres always a part of him in the dark, never quite revealed to the audience, portraying how he never fully reveals it to his friends.

so once again i'll mention how ppl have always dismissed and ignored mikes concerns and struggles to the point where he starts to just keep it to himself, and acts angry or grumpy when rlly there is so much more brewing under the surface he just doesnt think he deserves for someone to care, or even just directly thinks they dont care anyway

and ive tried to stay mostly partial so far and not bring up will or mikes sexuality, but in the end i think him being gay is an important part of his arc and definitely present in his struggles and the second to last line makes me think of will being shown to be like mikes sun (his heart ;)) and how hes keeping up a pretense about the way he really feels both about will and el to everyone but himself (no i dont think hes clueless ._.)

so this is actually the part that made me make the original post bcs hello?? the first three lines, did conan just literally write this song about mike wheeler?? mikes self sacrificial nature is something that comes up repeatedly, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. that boy would do anything for his friends, and im not even gonna get into the cliff scene bcs we'd be here all night. but like i was saying, the rest of the lines reference how mike sees the beauty in things others dont, EXCEPT when it comes to himself.

yeah, when it comes to himself he won't see the best parts of himself, only the bad, its up to a bystander (will?? the audience? mikes self concious, or is that too far-fetched?) to quietly observe the way hes falling apart

anyway slay that was bad and long and also excuse any spelling mistakes and incoherency its like 1 in the morning where i live so im analising mike wheeler, as any sane person would. once again, this isnt a proper analisis just something i pulled out of my ass so idk

@apocalyptic-byler no pressure to read this nonsense but u said youd b interested and i said id tag u so here it is lol

Mike Wheeler is so very summer child coded. There, I said it.

[astrobei]

Also any other fanfic writing tips? Do you have thoughts on chaptered fics vs longer one-shots? Do you ever struggle with characters feeling ooc?

I'm working my way up to finishing a couple WIPs and am very very nervous about posting them on ao3 😬😬

ooshdjsfh i think it’s funny when ppl ask me for writing advice bc i am a Mess but i will try my hardest to be helpful w this!

for the first bit, personally i’m a fan of oneshots, both writing and reading (there are exceptions for both ofc!!) just because i usually don’t have the attention span to write or read chaptered fics unless they’re finished and under 5 chapters ! but both of my chaptered fics are/were chaptered literally because i wrote too much to make it a oneshot without it feeling kind of clunky and awkward LOL i don’t usually write fics with big fleshed out plots anyway, and it’s more like a general storyline with a focus on individual scenes instead of the overarching plot, so i’ll write it all in one go! and i always write more than i think i will, so stories i plan to be like 10-15k ALWAYS end up at least 20k somehow 😭 personally i just rly appreciate when chaptered fics are consistent w uploading (as much as possible for the author) because it’s really hard for me to commit otherwise, which is why i don’t rly write them myself!!

and Oh My God anon,, i struggle CONSTANTLY w characters feelings ooc im always so concerned w my mike especially, since so much of s3 and 4 was more will pov and we didn’t get as much of an insight into mike’s internal struggles and thoughts like we did with will (the castle byers scene, van scene, jonathan talk, etc) so i’m always worried that the way i interpret him is not the same way that others might! and characters like lucas and dustin and max are easier since their povs in the show have stayed pretty consistent since their first appearances, and even will is easier for me to write (although i prefer mike which is pretty obvious maybe LOL) but mike Stresses Me Out a lot,, whew !!

if ur having trouble w that my advice (or at least what i do, take it w a grain of salt siskfjsjf) is think whether or not u could imagine this character saying that in the show. like, if this dialogue was added to a scene would it feel weird and out of place? do they usually use words like that? are there words used in the show specific to this character? (e.g: robin with “dingus”) i do take a lot of creative liberty w characters like mike and will especially when writing fluff fics, since so much of s4 and the end of s3 has been Sad and we haven’t gotten much humorous interaction from them, but i always try to ask myself if it’s true to their dynamic. like, mike would never ever pull off being suave and cool (except maybe in will’s unreliable narrator pov) because he gets flustered and is kind of an idiot and will is canonically a little bitchy and a little snarky and one of the only people who can put mike in his place so .

and thinking abt their motivations and Why they act/think the way they do: in byler’s case for example, will is selfless to a fault where he keeps putting other people before him, he’s so scared of his own needs making him selfish or a bad person that he often backpedals too far trying to amend that (s4!!) but he gets frustrated pretty easily (he’s the one that’s Started both of the infamous byler fights, the one that blows up first) and isn’t afraid to call mike out on things !! vs mike who tries really really hard, and has so much love for the people in his life but he’s inexperienced in it and doesn’t know how to show it in the way they want (saying ily to el, being a good friend to will) and a lot of his own inner monologue being fueled by the fear that the people in his life don’t need him anymore and yk . stuff like that . idk i just think abt these things a lot when i write!

anyways i am not qualified in the slightest to give any of this advice so FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS !! but anon if u ever end up publishing those wips (pls do) PLEASE don’t hesitate to drop me a link i’d love to check them out! posting fics can be rly scary but my advice would be to have as much fun with it as u can! play around w tropes and dialogue and writing styles and povs as much as u want. it can be easy to get caught up in writing what u think ppl want to read or thinking u Have to write smth bc someone asked for it but literally just write whatever u want (that’s like . not insane and awful for obvious reasons) and enjoy urself!!

hope this helped !! <3

[pipes-loves-writing]

things I actually said at 3:00 am while watching hsmtmts s2 ep11 (spoilers)

mr mazzara doing recap yayy

aww nini giving out cards

umm?? Everyone looks so good?

caswen (Ricky and Ashlyn FRIENDSHIP) is my new favorite forgotten friendship of the show

I already posted this but the matching casts are so cute

breaking your hand isn’t the worst injury you could get? Why would they need understudies?

I said it once and I’ll say it again everyone looks SO GOOD

Kourtney being howie’s biggest fan is just so :))

THEY ARENT GOING TO THE CAST PARTY

I LOVE THEM

EJ’S LITTLE “I mean..” IS SO UERBRJRHDBRH

‘someone I dig a lot :))))))’

TELL ME HE WASNT THE HUMAN FORM OF THE SMILEY EMOJI

‘what do you wear on a *date*’ awww g

seb talking for carlos is so cute im glad seb can read him so well :)

seb’s single clap kills me everytime

ASH WITH FLOWERS TO BIG RED IS SO CUTE AND IS SUCH A CUTE CALL TO HSM

howie looks excited aww

Ej’s last show :(

TIM IF YOU DONT KEEP MATT CORNETT I SWEAR-

mr mazarra’s little “Jennifer” was very…I’m not entirely sure what it was. Calming? If that makes sense

OH NO

MIKE WHY ARE YOU HERE

she’s so awkward ahh

so is he i hate them

aww Lily looks cute

I feel like the ‘lol’ that Lily says is her trying to protect herself in case Ricky rejects her :(

‘LILY SCRAM’ NATALIE THATS SO MEAN

her little wink-

MR MAZARRA BEING THE NARRATOR IS SO WEIRD WHY DIDNT THEY CAST A STUDENT

aww steph being the enchantress

‘everyone gets to say that at least once’ I’m not sure I like Nini acting like she’s had multiple parts with names? Like I don’t think she has. Only Marian and Gabriella

mr mazarra’s British accent is funny to me and I’m not sure

also I’m not sure I like this cardboard rose it kinda looks tacky to me

HOWIE IN THE AUDIENCE PLEASE

‘SHE HEARD WRONG’ PLEASE-

‘she just hog tied him’ SEB’S LOOK

spotlighting the judge is so weird don’t do that

I don’t like miss jenn calling him Sebastian all the time

Carlos looks terrified poor baby

be our guest is good so far

ASHLYN PIROUETTES AT THE END IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THOSE

SHES SO GOOD

also I can’t be the only one who notices that ej is holding Babette’s (gina’s) feather dusters during be our guest aww

howie looks concerned oh no

Natalie’s little speech before intermissions so funny

Gina and EJ’s little interaction ‘stop ittt say it again’ and then EJ’s little ‘yeah :)’ is so cute

JORDAN FISHER

‘It feels like I’ve aged ten years since I got this part’ same Ricky same

aww Ricky standing up for Lily

‘PLEASE EVERYONE REMAIN IN THE SAME ROLE YOU STARTED IN’-

wait I don’t like this

Why is howie acting so weird? Like is he starstruck or lying I cannot tell.

“Enjoy your air” “I will thanks” that’s so awkward bye

‘I’m a lucky girl’

aww Gina’s little smile before something there is so cute

Also Ricky looks like he actually enjoy performing now I love him

big red looks so happy to watch ash perform awww

LICKY? TO SHIP OR NOT TO SHIP THAT IS THE QUESTION

unrelated but I LOVE ash’s green dress so much I actually kinda want to make it

also ginas little feather dusting the air in something there is cute she’s such a good Babette

GINA LOOKING AT EJ THE WHOLE TIME CUTE BUT why isn’t she singing

WHAT IS THE CALL MR MAZARRA GOT

that was seb’s whole part and i hate that

aww ej getting starstruck not because jamie’s a music producer but because he’s gina’s brother

WAIT I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE EJ GETTING BROTHER APPROVAL BUT ITS JAMIE REJECTING HIM FOR GINA I HATE IT HERE

EJ DONT LISTEN TO JAMIE GINA LIKES YOU

I feel so bad for Natalie I’m sure she thinks it her fault that she lost it or forgot to place it but it’s not your fault Natalie it’s okay props is so stressful

MISS JENN

WHAT THE HECK

THAT WAS SO AWFUL AND UNCALLED FOR

how could you say that to a student who has gone through so much oh my gosh

also I can’t believe they said that on a Disney show

also Ashlyn’s little ‘I do believe you’ to Natalie is so nice she’s my new favorite character just cause of this ep

Richard?

give us more Natalie screen time next ep and season

what the-

OH

HECK

NO

LILY I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

LILY I THOUGHT WE COULD ACTUALLY TRUST YOU

I DONT SWEAR BUT IF I DID I WOULD SWEAR RIGHT NOW

okay that’s it

if the next episode is shorter that 35 minutes I’m never watching the show again

jk I love you hsmtmts

[standfortheangels]

Broken Bonds

Closed starter for @a-simple-rper

(Based on/continued from This Post)

__________________

"You'll be suspended, that's proper procedure." Mars spoke, straightforward and seemingly cold as always, but with a softness that Mike knew well. His family may baby him at times, but at least he knew he was loved.

Though he couldn't say the same for Liz.

To leave the world like that, take such a violent way out.. was it all just to avoid her family, escape their abuse for good? But he would have helped her, if that's what she wanted, he tried, offered again and again to help, and they'd come so far! Why didn't she say something?? Why didn't he sense it?

As he sat on his parents' couch, all his family around him, occasionally reaching out to touch his shoulder or rub his arm or take his hand... Mike just stayed blank, frozen, barely listening to his sister through his own thoughts. The same thoughts he'd been trapped in for the last two days.

"There'll be an inquest. The court usually likes to hold one as soon as possible, we should be hearing from them any time now.”

No reply. Mike just stared down at nothing in particular, his hands squeezed together tightly. The concerned looks shared around the room weren't subtle, but he didn't care. Sounding slightly thrown, Mars carried on. "It won't be like a trial- It's just so you get a chance to give your version of events, let them get the story straight, and, piece together.. the details..." Mike's phone, left on the couch next to him, had started buzzing away, getting glances from everyone except the one person who never let the thing ring- at least for longer than it took him to get it out of his pocket. But this time.. it went on.

A few seconds looking into Mike's evasive eyes, then Mars' gaze turned elsewhere, to their parents, whose expressions were no more comforting than anyone else in the room.

"...Mike?" The eldest brother spoke up from his seat across the room. "I know this is hard. I've been there."

That damn phone, still going. BZZT. It wasn't loud, but it was like a drill in Mike's brain.

BZZT.

"We all lose charges, you know?"

BZZT.

"The best guides in the world have -BZZT- charges, it's something that... We have to accept as a -BZZT-ibility."

His tone was gentle, like he was trying to explain to a young child that the family pet was dying. But Mike wasn't a child. And he knew what he'd done.

"Of course we want t-BZZT- our best- I know you do too. But, you just can't save everyone."

BZZT. BZZT.

Mike balled his hands together, one wrapped around the other. Not meeting anyone's eyes around the room.

BZZT.

"You did your best, man. That's all we can ever do."

BZZT.

BZZT.

BZ-

Finally. The silence was back, but as long as Mike didn't have to listen to that buzzing anymore, he'd take the silence. That thing hadn't stopped going off ever since he'd gotten it back from the police. They'd wanted to see the texts, between him, and Liz. No doubt the council would too. It was the only document that could show their relationship. How she'd confided in him, how they made plans, face to face contact was important in this line of work.

Except it hadn't worked, had it. It hadn't worked at all. He couldn't help her. In the end.. he failed. And... Could he even say he'd done his best?

Really?

Truly?

Even more tense than he was before his brother's 'pep talk', Mike stayed for a few seconds. He hadn't, really, seriously, completely done his best. He'd been distracted, got so happy about all the progress and went off, having fun while she was hiding everything inside, torturing herself, and where was he? Slowly, Mike stood, and with his voice weighed down like the rest of him, he said,

"I'm going to go take a nap or something."

"Oh- er- o-kay..."

"Do you want a hot drink to take with you?" His mum spoke now, but Mike couldn't even bring himself to look at her. He picked up his phone, not bothering to check his missed calls. Whoever it was, it didn't matter. "No. Thanks. I just.. want to go."

"Mike..."

"If he wants to sleep, let him go." Her voice again, putting a stop to Kate's words before she'd even started. Mike got out of the room fast now, before they could start their talking, which they were bound to do, he knew that much.

Once the door was closed, he just stood, eyes wandering around his bedroom. Or at least, the room he stayed in when he was here. He always had spare clothes in the closet, his favourite soft pillows.. He placed the phone on the side table and perched himself on the edge of the bed, hands between his knees, and slowly let his body lean forward and down, before swapping positions. Resting on his elbows, with his hands over his nose and mouth as he began to cry. This was his fault, all of it. And there was no way to make it right.

The phone buzzed, just once this time. A text. This time, he looked at it over his fingers. It made him feel like his chest was being crushed by a giant boa constrictor just thinking about this, but... He knew what he had to do. If he couldn't make things right for Liz... At least he had to give his other charges every chance at living, if he could even keep his job after this. One way or another, he couldn't make the same mistake again.

One shaking hand stretched out for the phone, the last text popping up again to remind him. Like he could forget. Just one click now.. It was from Brandon. He hadn't meant to give him the silent treatment, not at first. Just one more person whose life he could ruin with one single screw-up. And the reason he'd lost his focus. Still shaking and hating every second, he took the phone in both hands and started typing.

Brandon. We're over. Im sorry.

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

For prompts (this is gonna be so basic but I have this weird love for when secret relationships are found out) reddie being caught by the losers, or (if you want angst) being caught by Mrs K

SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT HERE IT IS! THNAK YOU FOR THE PROMPT

Eddie was never one for secrets, well not with his friend, at least. His mom was a totally different story. She was a hard headed woman with hateful morals, especially when it came to the lgbtq+ community. “They’re all sinners , those disgusting parasites” she said every time they would hear something queer related on the news. Eddie would just wince and stay quiet. He hated hearing those words but didn't dare say anything against them. He couldn't bear the thought of her finding out about his secret. 

It was plain and simple, he was in love with Richie Tozier, his childhood best friend. 

They started dating about a year prior, after confessing their feelings for each other at their senior prom. Dating Richie, this far, has been a breeze because they were both out of Derry for College. Out of sight out of mind right?

Eddie has been back home for summer break for about a week and it’s been extremely hard keeping the secret to himself. Especially since his mother is constantly checking up on him. 

He saw Richie every single day, catching up on the missed time they had apart in College. They mostly hung out at the quarry with the rest of the losers, or at Mike’s farm, safe places they could just be themselves.

One morning, after staying the night at Richie’s, Eddie woke up to the most beautiful sight in the world: a quiet, sleepy Richie. He always loved the way Richie looked in the morning. Hair all messy, glasses off, lips slightly parted. 

“Man, does his lips look good in the morning, almost like their begging to be kissed”, Eddie thought and that’s exactly what he does. 

“Mmmh, good morning Eds. Someone’s excited to see me, Richie says between kisses.

“I just couldn’t resist, you just looked so peaceful and I had to ruin that”, Eddie smirks.

“ Oh you wanna make mad? Keep kissing me to see what happens when Angry Richie comes out” 

Eddie takes that as his queue to continue kissing his boyfriend. After a couple of minutes their full on making out like a couple of teenagers. They were both so entangled in each other that they didn’t hear the door from downstairs open, or the faint screams for Eddie, or the loud creaks in the staircase. The only thing they heard was the piercing scream that came out of Sonia Kaspbrak’s mouth. 

“EDDIE ARE YOU- OMG EDDIE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? MY SON IS KISSING ANOTHER BOY? THIS IS NOW HOW I RAISED YOU! YOU’RE A GOOD STRAIGHT BOY! NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO BE A FAG THATS FOR SURE!” 

Sonia then drags Eddie out of the bedroom and out the door in record time. Richie is right behind them yelling at her to let Eddie go. She only yells in return about how HE did to her Eddie bear and how Richie was a horrible influence on him. However, Richie could only concentrate on the painful cries coming from his boyfriends lips. He was crying and shaking so much, pleading to his mom to let him go, that she was hurting him. Seeing Eddie like this broke his heart.

Richie’s attempt to get Eddie back failed. Both of them soon drove off and Richie was left crying on the sidewalk.

The car ride home was a long and silent one. The only thing heard was Eddie’s choked up sobs. When they finally pulled up in the driveway. Sonia simply said, “Were going to Bangor tomorrow, they have this camp that can help you with your sickness Eddie bear, I heard about it on the news, go pack a bag, we’ll leave first thing in the morning”

That’s exactly what Eddie did, he went up to his room and packed a bag. He wasn’t planning on staying until the morning. Instead, Eddie waited until his mother went to bed and snuck out his bedroom window. He had done this hundreds of times but this time felt different, it felt better. Like his relationship with Richie finally had a real purpose, he was meant to be with Richie and this confirmed it. 

Fifteen minutes later, he was at Richie’s window. He quietly knocked on the glass and the window opened immediately, he realized Richie was waiting, or hoping, for him to come over. 

“Eddie, baby, are you okay? Omg im so sorry I couldn’t stop her. Shit Eds, im sorry, im such a horrible boyfriend..” Richie said while tears streamed down his face.

“No ‘Chee, it’s not your fault. She’s a disgusting human being and I just got stuck with her as my mother,`` Eddie said as he wiped the tears off of his boyfriend's cheek.

“What happened? Why do you have a suitcase? Are you leaving Derry?”, Richie voice was full of concern.

“No sweets im not leaving Derry. I don’t really want to get into it right now. I just needed to leave that place once and for all, im 18, she can’t force me to stay anymore. I just, mhm, do you think I could maybe stay here until the summer break is over?”, Eddie asked

“ Yes Eddie you’re always welcome here, you know my parents love you so much. They will literally throw me out, if it meant you getting a bed in our house, Richie said as he kissed the smaller boys temple.

“Chee, she’s going to hate me forever, my own mother will disown me. How could someone even think of doing that to their child”

“I don’t know Eds, maybe it’s for the best. Starting a new life without your mother being in control of it, a life that you’ve always dreamed of, with the best best boyfriend in the world, that loves you more than anything, an amazing group of friends that will love you no matter what and my folks who love you as much as they love me. That’s your family Eds, the people that love you unconditionally.” , Richie wraps his arms tightly around his boyfriend and rubs his back until the quiet sobbing stops.

“I love you so much Richie, I don’t know what I would do without you.” Eddie inches his face closer to Richie as he says those words. Richie cups his cheeks and closes the gap between them, sharing a long passionate kiss.

“I love you too my little Eddie Spaghetti”

[palmviolet]

jim hopper, or how to fuck up a character: the guide

so. i am mad.

hopper was the character treated the worst in the season. (except perhaps will, because i was expecting so much and got so little.) but seriously? his characterisation was appalling.

i have already had problems with his parenting of el in s2. (as @nancykali has talked about in the past.) he was overly controlling and borderline abusive in trying to keep her safe - and this, while awful, could have been fixed in s3. you know how?

1) have them actually talk to each other about feelings etc.

2) have joyce actively involved in co-parenting el (as hopper clearly is not up to it on his own).

3) not be so controlling.

instead, what do we get?? horrifyingly controlling, obsessive parenting played for comic relief. joyce is clearly not a large part of el’s life (as she calls joyce ‘will’s mom’ only). hopper decides he wants to talk to el, have a ‘heart to heart’ - but instead he traps mike in his car and basically yells him down. not! good! parenting! and then he lies to joyce about it! and she doesn’t know this until after his death! which will make her already traumatic and tangled feelings even more complicated! ugh!

and then hopper and el are separated. for the rest of the season, until the very end. he gives her a nice speech, but that’s it. until after his death, when the mourning for his death is only really given to el- only el is really allowed to cry, only el is given a long moment with his memory. he’s spent the whole season with joyce, not even thinking about el (another writing mistake), and yet joyce is not allowed to mourn at all. what the fuck

and then. phew. his treatment of joyce.

i made a list of everything he said to her that made me want to cry.

(prior to this also mr clarke suggests she is delusional, ‘apophenia, seeing patterns that aren’t there’, and nancy tells jonathan he really is joyce’s son, because he ‘worries too much’.)

1) joyce tries to explain why she stood hopper up. he refuses to listen, repeatedly saying ‘you’ve outdone yourself, joyce!’ implying she’s descended to a new level of crazy. she recognises this and tells him ‘you’re not even listening to me!’

2) ‘it makes sense, i’m sorry.’ she sighs in relief because she thinks he believes her, like he has done in the past. UNTIL he becomes horribly, horribly sarcastic - almost cruel. she is very visibly worked up and distressed but he only cares about his feelings.

3) ‘now you’re inventing things to get worked up about because god forbid any of us move on!’ - seriously?? she’s clearly still traumatised and grieving bob’s death, and even if she is inventing things he should be concerned, not angry, because clearly she’s still dealing with the trauma of it all IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU HOPPER FFS

4) then they finally get to the lab. when she’s frozen staring at the spot where bob died hopper hesitates and seems very impatient - ‘are you okay? do you wanna wait in the car?’ it’s very peremptory.

5) then they get to the room where the gate was. he touches the empty wall and says ‘nobody’s home’ in a pretty scathing tone. joyce clearly has severe ptsd (she literally has a flashback that we see on screen while facing this wall) but hopper doesn’t seem to care. he’s treating her with a lot of impatience, patronising her like she’s a child.

6) she says ‘i feel like i’m losing my mind.’ well guess what, that’s because hopper is treating her like she is. after a moment he says ‘you’re not losing your mind’ and it sounds a little begrudging. thankfully the scene progresses to a more equal, healthy conversation involving the sharing of trauma. thank god.

7) ‘i think you should stick to sales’ after she screws up the numberplate - he doesn’t even give her a chance to explain that it’s a motorcycle, not a car, he just decides that she’s useless. however he does apologise somewhat by later telling her she should work with him instead.

8) the worst line. the worst fucking line in this season. joyce says of murray ‘he’s not eccentric, he’s certifiable’. is it wrong? yes. is it very slightly hypocritical? yes. (but only because others have dismissed her as crazy in the past- not because she is crazy.) but hopper’s response- oh my god. he shuts her down so completely it’s horrifying and i felt physically ill when watching. ‘glass houses’. ‘you know, pot calling the kettle black.’ what the hell? is that meant to be a joke? he basically just called her certifiable and a hypocrite. hopper, the only one who never called her crazy, who never dismissed her like that. he’s suddenly decided he can’t trust her intuition anymore and that she’s just as crazy as they all say. what the fuck

9) it gets a bit better from here. but- in the car on the way back to hawkins, once again he belittles her: ‘we’re on our way to rescue our children from the big bad 4th of july celebration’. jesus christ, hopper, just because you haven’t shown an ounce of concern towards el except when it’s to do with mike-

10) and then joyce imitating him in the last episode. ‘it’s really hard to listen to you when you make everything sound like it’s the end of the goddamn world’. joyce has literally recognised that he doesn’t listen to her, that he’s been diminishing, ignoring, and belittling her - even gaslighting her, using her reputation and history of mental illness as an excuse to just ignore her concerns.

in short, i am horrified. i enjoyed some parts of the jopper storyline but a great deal of it was really quite concerning and his storyline with el was awful. the worst part of the season for me, by far.

and don’t get me started on how they presented the aftermath of his death. (but im gonna go for it anyway lmao)

so we’re given the beautiful, tragic scene of el realising he’s dead, and joyce sobbing into her son’s shoulder. however even this has glaring faults - joyce shouldn’t just look at el breaking down. joyce and el should grieve together, because it is they who love/loved hopper the most. especially since el becomes joyce’s surrogate daughter at the end - there definitely should have been more signs and foreshadowing for that. for god’s sake, duffers, one female friendship isn’t enough.

and then- the very next scene is steve and robin looking for jobs. it’s a goddamn comedy scene, and it’s so jarring it hurt. seriously, it diminished the emotional impact ridiculously, almost bathetic. and then joyce gets- what. ten seconds? of grieving? and even when she’s having her moment of mourning el comes in, takes the speech, and suddenly the whole scene is all about her, again. now i’m not diminishing her pain but when all season long it’s been joyce & hopper, the lack of emotional impact is frankly disappointing.

hopper was a great character at the start of the show, and even had his great moments this season. but he was reduced to this caricature - angry, overprotective dad, snarky love interest whose sarcasm was often downright cruel. i am so disappointed in the way they presented him, because they could have done so well - fixed the mistakes they made in s2 and made him even better.

tl;dr: hopper is borderline nasty to both el and joyce in this season and thus is vastly out of character. do better, duffers.

[selfregicide]

🔓IM COMIN FOR YA BUDDY

@ridingwheeler //Send ‘🔓’ to find my muse locked in a cell / room after being tortured and missing for weeks or months. (up to receiving mun)

       He’d made a mistake by giving up Dustin’s name and he had been more than willing to pay the price for his failure. Steve knew it wasn’t really his fault. He had been drugged and under duress and he was no soldier. He wasn’t equipped to deal with torture. Being captured by the Russians under Starcourt Mall had been nothing compared to this. They hadn’t been deterred as well as everyone hoped and many of them escaped the American military’s grasp. 

       Steve had been with Dustin on their way to Cerebro because the younger boy wanted Steve to get to know Suzie. It was kind of a cute gesture, and Steve heckled Dustin the entire way. Their drive to the hillside was interrupted when a nondescript black car practically rammed into theirs. Steve remembered hitting his head on the steering wheel. He remembered Dustin screaming. He remembered punching and kicking and yelling at Dustin to run, get the fuck out of here. The stench of strong chemicals over his mouth and nose made him gag and choke. Then nothing. 

       That had been weeks ago. 

       Time didn’t feel real here in this empty cell. He’d fought them the first day. He had said whatever stupid thing came to mind. He had kept talking until his voice when hoarse. He’d pleaded. Told them there was nothing he really knew. He was just some dumb kid who had gotten caught up in this and he didn’t know anything. They didn’t believe him. Just like they hadn’t believed him at the mall. They beat the shit out of him until he couldn’t breathe, and every single inhale felt like fire in his chest. They dunked his head under water over and over again until and woke him with a cold ice water every morning after. There was a growing stain of blood beneath the chair they sat him in each day. 

       Steve thought he was going to die. He almost prayed for it. He couldn’t understand why they thought he had any information and even told them so. 

       And they laughed. Laughed for a while, Steve staring between them with increasing concern and a nervous smile on his face. 

                 We know you don’t know anything. But you ruined our plans last time. You and your young friends.

        Something changed then. Like a switch had been turned now that he knew there was nothing he could do to appease them. Steve was certain they were harsher on him now, worse in a way that they hadn’t shown themselves capable yet. Or maybe it was just the complete and utter lack of hope. Dustin no doubt had gone for help, or maybe he was here with them and never made it far enough at all. Steve couldn’t know. There was no way to know. And they just had him here to play with. He was just some ragdoll to do whatever they wanted. So they did.

        Shouting drew him into hazy consciousness. The pale, horrified gaze that stared down at him was too young. Too, too, young to be here in this place. Too young to be one of the Russians. It took him a little too long to recognize Mike’s face. He’d seen the expression before– just never directed at him. Mike only ever shot the annoyed look, or as had been the case in the past few months, an amused one with a roll of his eyes. Mike was only second to Dustin when it came to how much time was spent in each other’s company. 

         He almost thought he was hallucinating. It wouldn’t be surprising with the fever he had; courtesy of the infection granted by the compound fracture in his right arm. He was littered with bruises and cuts. The fingers of his right were broken. His left knee throbbed. One of his teeth were loose. He wasn’t sure he could get up off the floor from where he was curled up. Steve felt like he was almost dead. 

                   “Mike?” came the guttural croak, the name sounding butchered to his ears. The breath he dragged in hurt, wheezed in his lungs. Hovering somewhere just behind by the metal slab of a door was a familiar feminine figure. Steve’s eyes fluttered and he felt Mike shake his shoulder. Steve let out a sharp noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper. El’s voice drifted into his consciousness, something that sounded like Mike,  …have to go. 

           He couldn’t help the tears that burned down his bruised face and hoped that, just this once, Mike would ignore it.

[itsteaveetime]

Hey, if you're still taking prompts, can I request Mike T. getting his wisdom teeth out, based on the video of Mike W. getting his out on Instagram?

//Send me a prompt, get a drabble/one-shot.  Always accepting prompts.  Hopefully not supplying fics that completely suck.//

Mike Teavee is not cuddly.He never has been. Not even really as a baby, despite Ethel’s tendency to view his pre-walking, talking, and texting years through rosy tinted nostalgic glasses. He had (in Ethel’s biased opinion) been adorable, of course: thick dark hair and huge blue eyes, but he spent a lot more time crying and drooling than cooing sweetly at her than she likes to admit.A little like how he is drooling now, ironically. Of course now there’s more blood.

She presses a towel wrapped around a package of frozen peas to her son’s mouth. His head is propped up by pillows, but he’s still mostly out of it. Tears still cling to his long dark lashes.She secretly enjoys these moments, just a little bit.  Not his pain, of course.  But under normal circumstances he wouldn’t allow her to hover so close. He would be annoyed if she tried to brush the hair off of his forehead. She can look at his face for as long as she likes when he’s like this, without him twisting it up in disgust. At least: until the drugs wear off.Michael has to be sedated for every dental visit. Even for something as simple as a cleaning. That’s been the deal ever since he punched one of the dentists out for ‘lying’ (“He said it wasn’t gonna hurt and it hurt”). Even at 14 they have to dope him up, knock him out, and strap him down.  It’s far from the only place where certain precautions are taken due to her son being…her son. But the dentist’s is the only one that leaves her with such a pliable little boy; one who answers to 'Mikey’, and doesn’t remember that he did so later, and as such doesn’t punish her in any way for upsetting his 'street cred’ (or whatever the kids today call it).  And Mike does need a lot of dental work.  He isn’t very diligent about brushing and he grinds his teeth like a horse, even on an SSRI.But nothing about Mike comes completely without complications. She keeps one eye on her son.  She keeps the other on his phone.She isn’t sure how (particularly because of his temporary loss of fine motor skills), but in the time between when he first comes to, and they allow her to collect him, he always manages to text or tweet at or FaceTime someone. She has, over the years, ended up apologizing on his behalf to a wide variety of people. From local businesses to the presidents of small nations. She’s never able to explain how he manages to get their numbers: he just does. That’s just Mike.Today is unlikely to be an exception.  Today has not been a simple cleaning.  

There is always the chance she will be fielding a complaint from Jerry Jubilee’s publicist shortly, but lately (at least, since regaining his height after visiting Wonka’s factory), Mike tends to limit his drugged contacts to a smaller and more familiar circle.Some time last year he sent a long rambling missive to Mrs. Gloop (specifically Mrs. Gloop, not her son) full of half hysterical sobbing about jello molds (Ethel has no idea what that’s about, her casseroles are just fine), and wildly complimenting her ability to knit. Michael has no idea why he suddenly began receiving regular care packages full of sweaters and scarves from Germany, and Ethel isn’t about to tell him because oddly enough: he actually wears them. Mrs. Gloop knows a boy’s color palate when she sees it, and all of her offerings are acceptably black on black, with maybe a touch of neon.  Ethel had not been previously aware that one could knit an iPad cover, but Mike is particularly pleased with that creation.  Although Ethel privately suspects the device never really has the chance to get cold.Slightly more recently, well…she had rather liked it when Oleg Salt had rung up, even though he had insisted on calling her 'Mrs. Television’. Ethel has and has had her hands too full with Mike to even think about re-entering the dating scene, but she’s not dead: the Russian oligarch is a looker. She’s still not exactly sure what Mike might have said to him or his daughter, but she wouldn’t entirely mind if Mr. Salt had to call again.  A lady can have her dreams on those cold Idaho nights. Whoever Mike has bothered this time is taking their time saying anything about it.  There’s probably some way of finding out who they are, but she couldn’t possibly.  His little computer phone intimidates her: it has no buttons.  Best to just sit and wait and enjoy her son’s heavily drugged company and hope whoever she ends up having to speak to speaks English.

Mike’s head has lolled onto her shoulder, and Ethel is feeling particularly maternal, despite the fact that Mike has definitely already ruined her blouse, when his phone buzzes to life.

“Phooooooooone,” he mumbles into her neck.

“Oh.  I…right,” Ethel says, to the phone mostly.  “I just…”

She manages to retrieve the device without sending him tumbling to the floor, and then to wrangle one of his limp hands into activating the device, by placing his thumb over the little circle at the bottom herself.  The phone is…alive now, but she has missed the call.  She did see that the number was labelled something: Old Man.  Her heart screeches to a stop for a second, like a needle across a record, but it couldn’t possibly be: Mike does not speak to his father.  He would never have the man’s number saved in his phone, would he?

The device begins to vibrate in her hand again.

“Phone,” Mike mumbles.

“…Hello?” Ethel says, dubiously.

“Hello Mrs. T., I have some concerns,” the voice on the other end of the line (although Ethel supposes they don’t really use lines anymore) says.

She doesn’t know how he knows so quickly that it is her: this is Michael’s phone.  Most people are at least a little confused when she answers it (which she does rarely, because when alert Michael does not allow her to touch his phone).  It seems unlikely that he might have recognized her voice, although she recognizes his instantly.  As if she could forget it.

“Mr. Wonka,” Ethel begins.  “…whatever Michael did, I’m so sorry, but it really wasn’t his fault this time.” 

“He’s sent me twenty-seven video messages, and I don’t mean to alarm you, but I suspect he may have gotten into some of your, uh, ‘lemonade’,” Wonka tells her.

“Oh, no,” Ethel protests.  “I would never let him do that.”

Wouldn’t she?  No, she wouldn’t.  Not that Ethel isn’t a cool mom, but she needs that ‘lemonade’ for herself. 

“Tell ‘im he’s old,” Mike tells her hair.  “S’important an’ he needs to know.”

“He’s had his wisdom teeth out,” Ethel says, hoping Wonka cannot hear what Michael is saying.

“…oh,” Wonka replies.  

The man sounds strangely small on the other end of the phone.  Ethel supposes chocolatiers and dentists may be some sort of natural enemies, but she’s not sure that quite accounts for how he sounds.

“Mo-om,” Michael is saying in her ear, over and over.  She can feel drool dripping down her back.  At least, she hopes it is just drool.

“Also tell him he’s my friend.”

Michael is crying softly now, which is just sort of how coming off of meds like these goes.  She knows better than to think it means anything.

“Heeeeeee’s my friend and it’s too late he just is,” Mike sobs.

She would place her hand over the receiver if this was any sort of normal phone, but Mike’s little black box doesn’t have one that she can find.

“It’s just the medication,” Ethel continues, apologetically over her son’s sobs.  “They make him…like this, and he won’t remember it tomorrow, and I’m sure he’d appreciate if you didn’t say anything about it.”

There’s a thoughtful moment of silence from Wonka.

“My lips are sealed,” he finally says, which Ethel considers surprisingly mature of him, until the chocolatier goes on to say:

“I’ll just save these somewhere for future blackmail.”

Ethel rolls her eyes, but that does sound more like the Wonka she knows.  Not that she knows him.  Not, apparently, like Michael knows him.

“I should get back to him,” she says.

Mike is clinging to her waist. 

“Of course,” Wonka says.  And then: “…you know what they say, though: in vino veritas.  Well, good-bye.”

Ethel does know that they say that.  Of course she of all people would.  It’s not something she puts much stock in.

But as her son puts his head in her lap and lets her stroke his hair (something he does secretly like even when he is sober) and mumbles something that sounds very much like ‘I love you’, she cannot help but hope that Wonka has a point.  

[mclennunf]

This Boy - Chapter 26

A/N: i feel like this is kind of a filler and im sorry, i hope you still enjoy it

~Paul's~

I woke up by myself. John wasn't lying beside me in my small childhood bed. As I walked down to the kitchen, I noticed that Mike was gone to school and Auntie Gin must have been out. I turned on the kettle and began to make breakfast, when I noticed a note on the table.

My love,

I've gone to Mimi's. I figure I should see her, since we've been home for a few days now. I know you may not want to call, but I left the phone number for the lawyer on the fridge.

Ring me when you wake up. You probably won't be up anytime soon, but I love love love you Paul.

J.L.

I smiled as I read the note. I sat down with my tea and looked down briefly at the newspaper that had been left open. John was right about me sleeping in, I glanced at the clock on the wall and it was 2 o'clock pm.I thought about when John and I would be able to have our own house, with our own kitchen and our own tea. I smiled again, at the thought of a normal life with John. I knew it wasn't completely possible, though. People would notice when two men lived together for years and never had girlfriends. They'd definitely notice when two men adopted a child. I wanted a child, eventually. I couldn't see myself having a child with anybody except John, though.

The small piece of paper with the lawyer's phone number on it caught my eye. I stared at it for a few moments before snatching it off the fridge. M. Edison, Attorney of Law. I poured some more tea and kept the phone number in my hand. John was right, I didn't want to call. It was going to be a lot of stress and it was going to bring back a lot of hard memories. But I knew it was going to put Jim away. Where he couldn't get anywhere close to Mike or John. Soon enough, I found myself dialling the number.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Edison's office?" A young lady's voice said from the other end of the line. "Uh, hi, my name is Paul McCartney and I'm uh, calling for Mr. Edison?" I said, my voice sounding obviously shaky and nervous. "Ah yes! Mr. McCartney, thank you for calling. Mr. Edison has been expecting your call. Hold on, I will retrieve him for you." The young lady's voice became even higher with excitement. "T-thank you." I tried to remain calm. I sipped on my tea and waited not-so-patiently. "Mr. McCartney!" A man's voice said on the other line. I jumped, spilling a little bit of my tea down my chin and onto my t-shirt. I cleaned it up quickly as if I thought this guy was going to see me. "Hello, sir." I finally said. "I'm glad to hear from you. When can we make an appointment?" Mr. Edison asked. "Uh," I tried to think. "How about Friday afternoon? Gives me some time to prepare, and you some time to gather your information. I am still waiting to hear from Mr. Lennon, though." Mr. Edison suggested. I smiled at the thought of someone calling John "Mr. Lennon". I nodded, once again thinking he could see me. Sometimes my anxiety made me act in the strangest ways. "Friday is good. Actually, Mr. Edison, I can bring John Lennon with me. He's a very close mate of mine." I told him, hearing the front door open and close.

"That would be lovely, Mr. McCartney." I tried to peer around the corner to see who came in the door. I pulled to far and felt the telephone shift off the counter. I jumped back to catch it, successfully. "We will see you on Friday, sir." I said as I hung up the phone. "Hello?" I called as I slowly walked toward the hall. I felt two hands on my hips from behind grab me quickly. "Ah!" I yelped and turned around to find John standing there with a large grin on his face. I smacked his chest and shook my head. "Bloody hell, Lennon. Ye scared me right out me skin." I clenched my chest, breathing heavily but laughing because of how proud of himself John was. "Yer eyes nearly pooped out of yer head!" John was still giggling uncontrollably. "Bugger off!" I shoved him and made my way back into the kitchen to my tea, which was now cold. I turned the kettle on again. "Tea, love?" I asked John. John hummed and nodded as he came up behind me again, kissing my neck. "Mimi wants t'see ye for dinner tonight m'love." John mumbled against my neck, shooting tingles down my neck and spine. I raised an eyebrow as I spun around, pushing through him to pour our tea. "Is that so?" I asked, sounding surprised.

"Don't get too excited m'love. I told 'er about Jim. I told 'er everything." John said as he sat down with a concerned look on his face. My eyes widened. "Everything?!" I asked, sounding irritated. "I had to, love. I left early this mornin' cause I had a bit of a break down. It was stupid. But anyroad, I went home to Mimi and she asked what was wrong. I started wailin' like a little school girl," John chuckled as he spoke, "And I just told her everything." John stopped chuckling by the end. "Are ye okay now?" I asked as I poured some milk in his tea and handed him a spoon. "Ye, I am. She's a wreck though. Feels terrible 'bout you and Mike." John told me as he took my hand on the table, examining it as though he'd never seen it before. I smiled at him. "I called the lawyer." I blurted out. John nearly choked on his tea. "Really?" He asked. "We've got to go see him on Friday.." I added. John nodded and smiled into his tea. "I'm proud of you." John said quietly as he set the cup down, leaning in and placing a delicate kiss on my lips. He pulled away. "Stu called me today," I rolled my eyes as soon as I heard that bastard's name. "And?" I nodded and pulled my eyes away from him, looking down into my cup. "Guess he's gettin' married. Can ye believe that? Stu and Astrid. Wants me to be the best man, he does." John was obviously nervous about how I was going to respond. "That's lovely." I smiled. "Don't be cheeky, Paul." John told me. "M'not! It's lovely, John." I said, trying to seem more sincere than the first time.

"I know of ye feel about him, Paul." John's voice lowered. John kept a tight grip on my hand as I grew more uncomfortable. "I don't want to hold ye back from seein' him, John. I just don't want to feel the way I did in Hamburg, y'know?" I said with a nervous shake in my voice. "Can't ye just put that shite behind us?" John said rather rudely. My defensive walls went up, and I pulled my hand away from him and remained silent. "Don't start, Paul. Christ." John stood up and turned the kettle on. "I'm not startin' shit." I said quietly, looking down at my hands. I began to pick at my nails nervously. "I can tell yer tryin' t'make me feel bad about Hamburg. S'not my fault yer a jealous bastard." John said as he sat back down, lighting a cigarette. "Callin' me a bastard now?" I asked. John took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, m'love. I'm just frustrated and ye know yer not helping." John said, sounding much calmer. "Why in the hell are you frustrated, John? Because you get to attend your best friends wedding?" I took one of his cigarettes as I spoke.

"No Paul, because I know if I go to Hamburg for the wedding, my fiancé will lose his damn mind and think I'm screwin' a different bloke!" John raised his voice again. "It's not even that, John. Look, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm done with the arguin'. You're your own man, I can't make your decisions and tell you what you can and cannot do." I shook my head and looked back down to my hands. "I don't know why you're being so difficult. I know you're just sayin' that now to get out of an argument. Fucking hell, who would've thought we'd end up here? The first person I fall in love with is a bloody bloke. That relationship ends up being the most serious fuckin' relationship in the world, because-" John stood up and stopped talking half way through his rant. "Because what?!" I asked, standing up in front of him as he began pacing in my kitchen. John threw his cigarette into the ashtray hard, and grabbed my collar. My eyes widened and I held my breath. "Because I'm so head over fuckin' heels in love with you, Paul. Because nothin' else in the bloody world matters because I have you. Because I have nothin' else to bloody live for than you. It's you, Paul. It's always going to be you." John loosened his grip and slowly moved his hands up on to my cheeks.

The feeling of fear had quickly changed to relief. "I-I," I tried to apologize. "You don't have to say anything. I promise I'm not going to do anything to hurt you, whatever you want Paul, I'd swim across the bloody ocean to get it for you." John's words made my heart melt. He leaned in and kissed me softly and gently. I felt him smile against my lips. He pulled away, but thankfully not to far. I felt John's nose on the tip of mine. "I'll never get over the fact that you, Paul McCartney, are with me." John smiled. "And I am sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so defensive." John added. "Me too." I nodded in agreement and collapsed into hug, burying my head in his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist. "I love you." I said quietly into the crook of his neck. "Everything is okay?" John asked, placing a few kisses on the top of my head.

"As long as you never let go of me." I smiled to myself and curled my fingers into his t-shirt tightly. "Never ever, m'love!"

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

Will a ticket for expired license plate or possession of marijuana make my insurance go up in cost?

"Will a ticket for expired license plate or possession of marijuana make my insurance go up in cost?

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Hi! I just passed my driving test today, and I have the temporary driver's license. I was wondering if it was legal to drive my parent's car. The car is registered, AND insured under their names. Would it be legal for me to drive their car, with them giving me permission to do so? Or would my name have to be added to the insurance in order for me to just drive their car. I know that I would need insurance in order to drive OTHER people's cars, but this is just my parents. Thank you!""

Insurance?

how much does insurance cost for a novice driver in nova scotia? i just got my license today and i need to know how much its gonna cost me...im 16 yrs old and im gonna have my own car and im gonna be the only driver.

Will a ticket for expired license plate or possession of marijuana make my insurance go up in cost?

I got both at one time.

Is there a way to see how much car insurance will cost before I buy a car?

I am looking for a starter car and currently think I might have found one. This summer when I come home from college I am planning on getting a summer job and my mom is allowing me to use her car. But I thought if I go a head and buy the car I found that I could save up my money from working to pay for insurance and gas. My only question is how much would my insurance payments be? I know you can get quotes online but can you get them for a car you do not have yet? If not, is there anyway to know?""

Are online car insurance quotes usually close to the actual cost?

Are online car insurance quotes usually close to the actual cost?

How much should my car insurance raise....?

I am 16, I've been driving 4 months. I have USAA car insurance, and I went to a driving school. I'm a supertard and today I rear-ended someone.... the cops were called and an accident report was filed, they said that my insurance company and the person's will contact eachother. I'm just curious to how much you think it should raise? There was alot of damage to my front end, but the person's who I hit hardly had a few scratches on the back bumper. I'm already paying $80 a month. Thanks so much for your estimates!! (p.s. i live in TX if that makes a difference.)""

""Would you rather have a law against gay marriage, or affordable HEALTH INSURANCE that can't be canceled?""

Admittedly a false choice, but still...electing a GOP/Teabag/Fox 'News'/Jesus freak government would enhance the chances of a law against gay marriage and diminish the chances of some form of Medicare for all. Feel free to substitute 'Christian right for 'Jesus freak...consider it a figure of speech or an expression of art.""

""Rear ended someone in a rental vehicle, will my premiums rise?""

I was in a rental vehicle when I tapped the car in front of me. I drove a '11 Toyota Corolla and he an old Chevy Monte Carlo. I came to a complete stop before absentmindedly loosening my foot on the brake, thus I tapped him at perhaps 2-3mph, and left a light imprint of the license plate on his red bumper. I offered to negotiate a cash payment on the spot, I was thinking of a couple hundred, but he insisted costs to be over 1,500. I did pay for damage insurance on the rental, but not liability. I'm insured with Safeco in Southern California, will this affect my rates at all? I talked to a body shop and showed them pictures of the imprint, and they figured that repairs would be around 150-300, depending. I heard that premiums won't necessarily rise unless damages are over 750? Is that true, and if so what are some tips to keep them from rising at this point? (this would be the first accident where I am held liable)""

What is the process of renting a car through your insurance?

Im calling about it tomorrow but I just dont want to sound completely clueless. So how does the process go for this? Does the insurance just tell you where to go and when to pick up the car and you just go get it or is there more??? This is assuming insurance pays for it completely.

How much do you or did you pay for sr-22 insurance?

How much do you or did you pay for sr-22 insurance?

Should I get rental insurance for my apartment?

I don't have any expensive appliances. I only have used funiture and my clothes. Lately I have seen a lot of apartment fires on the news and now I am indecisive about getting rental insurance for my apartment.

Affordable health insurance?

i am 34 , i pay over 400.00 a month , im single , does anyone know of some possible cheaper insurance . does anyone know of better insurance that i can afford . please help , male nonsmoker also""

Whats the cheapest car insurance arround at the mo?

have had loads of different quotes...

""Would it be fair if I give you a bit of tax hikes, since you can now save on more affordable health care which?

I gave to you?

How much would auto insurance cost me?

Im 16. The car im going to get is a chevy comaro.live in PA?

How much is the insurance premium on a motorcycle 125cc?

Male, 18, Passenger car probationary licence suspended once on 2 accounts of speeding Preferably in Quebec, Canada""

Need affordable car insurance for 16 yr. old can you help!?

do you have a teen that drives or just know what the best prices are!

Is it illegal to drive a car thats not yours without insurance?

I need to know if it is legal to drive someone elses car even if i dont have car insurance but the owner of the car does i dont own a car but my half brother does and lets me use it the only problem is i don't have insurance is it still illegal for me to drive this car i do have a valid license this is in Ohio

Affordable Life Insurance at 80?

Please help me find an affordable life insurance at 80 years of age to life. Thank you, Lily""

Auto Insurance?

A friend of mine just got a quote for insurance of around 2400 per year. She has no driving record, drives a older car, is female, and past 35 years of age. Granted she lives in NJ. This cant be right. We can only come up with 2 possible reasons. First, she's only had a US liscence for a year a now. Second, her husband has a suspended Liscence. Is this normal?""

Where can I find professional liability policies for a surgeon?

This is for a finance project. If I need to pay fro professional liability insurance, on what website can I find this insurance. Will I have to pay for it by myself, or does the hospital/company I work for pay the insurance for me.""

Does insurance compaines cover the person or the car at fault?

The girl that parks right next to me in my apartment swiped the side of my car. she is now claiming her friends park her car sometimes, but she knows she didn't hit my car. Personally her car is her responsibility and I feel like even if a friend of hers was parking when the incident happend, she is responsible for damages because its her car. Would she be responsible? Can I take her to court if she doesn't have insurance? And if she does have insurance would they cover this? I also have good pics.""

Can anyone recommend good a rental Insurance for California?

I'm new to this country and trying to find rental insurance is proving to be a bit difficult. Along with the standard earthquake cover everyone seems to offer, I need it to cover expensive jewellery / 2 bikes and accidental damage to lap top or a pc if possible. I have tracked down one potential AAA Insurance, does anyone know if they are any good? Any help much appreciated.""

Cheapest car insurance? UK? For young drivers.?

What company or what car is the cheapest to insure? We are looking at buying a car, but since my hubby is only 20 the insurance is through the roof. (Can't seem to find a quote less that 2000) Any one got any ideas?""

""Just got my drivers license, what's next? how do I get insurance? where do I go?

I'm 19 and I finally got my drivers license :P but I don't have a car. but I need insurance 1. How do I get insurance? 2. Where do I go for Insurance? 3.What do I have to take with me? I need to get a car so... 4. How much down payment do you think is good? like would 1000 do it ? I dont have money. :| 5.can I get loans? or should I get loans? Thanks 4 helping ;)

Car Insurance?

Ok, first does anyone know which states do not require car insurance? Second question is do you have to have full coverage on a financed car? No silliness here real answers.""

Which insurance is best Life (term or level) or Mortgage insurance?

Hello I am currently pregnant and live with my boyfriend in a mortgage property. This is our mortgage together and was wondering which insurance is best to secure our family's future. I am not sure whether to go for Life Term Insurance, Life Level Insurance or Mortgage Insurance? The policy will be a joint one unless good advice is given!! :-) I would appreciate an explanation in stupid terms please HAHA as this is a serious policy for our future. Many Thanks""

Will this help save on car insurance?

My husband and I need a second car because I got a job way across town and with school coming up, we have completely different schedules... So I was thinking of only putting my name on the title and the insurance for the new car because my husband has an accident on record and our rates went up. Secondly, would it be beneficial to take my name off our current car and insurance so that it will be only in his name? Could this help save money with our insurance? Sorry if this is a gay question, just trying to save us a little extra money to put away in savings""

Will a ticket for expired license plate or possession of marijuana make my insurance go up in cost?

I got both at one time.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-does-moped-insurance-cost-deeanna-wynkoop"