waluijoe

[waluijoe]

how do people genuinely thrive alone aren't we all plagued by The Thoughts™

feels like i don't exist when i don't go to work

[waluijoe]

feels like i don't exist when i don't go to work

[waluijoe]

noticed that the hottest i look the more i get violent/unstopping street harassment from homophobic men...

[waluijoe]

disturbing how much of french speaking culture centers around being fucking rude with a friendly/passive or just straight up sarcastic tone. people always chose to phrase things in a way that insults you or makes you feel stupid for no reason at all

[waluijoe]

im so hungry all the time damn im gonna learn how to do patisserie and cook because i need to feed my body

[waluijoe]

hilariously enough they were some of the pple i didnt speak to at all and found kinda cool from afar (cause theyre confident and i get impressed easily) but felt there was no vibe with at all - like they would ignore me a lot and not talk to me compared to other pple

[waluijoe]

my coworkers smocking & having a homophobic conversation at 3am right when i get out like.. theres gotta be hours for this no ? like, idk keep that for your lunch or smthg leave me out of it

[waluijoe]

i would also like to add that this job is killing my will to live real quick and isnt that just astounding in a one month period

[waluijoe]

i bought food at the market... its scrumptuous

[waluijoe]

not to be a cunt but it's hard on my morale, self esteem, and general health, to know im hated by some

[waluijoe]

never knew what being a manager entailed before this job but good lord they are stronger than be because the clients are such fcking horrid people and they have to be so polite and calm and passive i would fkcing eat them

[waluijoe]

wonder how healthy thats gonna feel in the long run lmao i am not known to be a healthy worker instead im someone who burns out reaaaal quick becos the adhd+anxiety+perfectionism is a deadly mix Also i do not know how to slow down & take breaks & manage my body but eh

[waluijoe]

fr tho intense how i don't notice time go by like i've worked 5 to 6 hours straight yesterday and then again today with literally no breaks except for water and each time i was like "oh were done already ?" its so mindless but also i need to be concentrated so bad so i dont make mistakes so time just yaps away

[waluijoe]

fina-fucking-lly got added to the planning at my job i will now be Earning and not Yearning

[waluijoe]

nothing i love more than logging on to play games cause i wanna forget that i feel like a piece of trash and pple online making me feel like trash anyways.. like at this point if youre gonna be a man and suck both in life and online just dig yourself a hole and start living in it

[waluijoe]

went to my psychiatrist with a whole gratin de patates&courgettes in my bag that was Smelly as hell (good way) and immediately as she opened the door to me and my cursed bag i went "sorry im gonna just leave this here in the entrance because theres a gratin inside and it smells so strong" and she went huh? and okay and then we went on with the seance and she kept cutting herself off the whole time and going "your gratin smells so good - im sorry" and then going back to what she was saying after sniffing the air

[waluijoe]

having no revenue really makes me feel like i go insane every penny that leaves my pocket is like the burn of the cross on my back every time i think about the future i see everything i cant do cant buy cant invest in cant dream about yet every outing with friends is either ill pretend im not thinking abt the numbers on my bank account or i accept being a charity case and the funniest most sordid part is that everyone kinda just thinks im doing really great and having a lot of fun or whatever cause i dont speak shit about it but yknow. life