#i go to message them and remember that theres no point because 1 they probably wouldnt reply to me anyway and 2 they blocked my number
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I'm not ok 👍
#me and my ex partner haven't talked in so long#they ( understandably ) blocked me after they broke up with me because i was kinda being a dick and was like fuck you#but it's like.... it's difficult to accept the fact that they blocked me and i guess im just sad#i go to message them and remember that theres no point because 1 they probably wouldnt reply to me anyway and 2 they blocked my number#so im kinda just here like what the fuck this is all my fault and I'm a terrible partner and they probably got so sick of me#so yknow#it's my fault i guess#feels like it always is#break ups fuckin SUCK btw did i mention that#break ups#heartbroken#personal#i miss you#I'm sorry#ugh
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anyway uh. ruby showed off a new skin on stream today, and theres been something ive been wondering abt with her skins, and this one in particular caught my attention because the sunglasses are darker than normal.
pardon the peeling, but:
thats.. new.
cherruby's eye color has just kinda become a Thing i keep squinting at since episode 4. because the episode where we get the "timeline status: unstable" message from R.C. is the same message where the clock glitches out is the same episode where we first see a hint of blue and red under cherruby's shades in the thumbnail.
their eyes are hidden again on episode 5's thumbnail, but that's also the episode where we first see the talksprites Box made, and those have visible eye colors. and then more obviously, episodes 6 and 7's thumbnails have the eye color clearly visible.
so, uh, all of that is when and after the timeline becomes unstable.
(ep4's thumbnail is also the only time the clock is at night instead of halfway between night and day and im STILL squinting at that but im trying to wrangle my adhd ass into focusing on one thing at a time)
but now it's on the skin, and that's kinda concerning. it's not very visible (hence me having to peel him), but it's there. specifically, it's there partially.
this worries me. i dont know if its actually linked to the timeline instability or what, but its definitely something thats happening. its also notable that its happening when theyre mimicking someone by proximity again.
im trying to avoid pointing and going "AH! SAPPHIRE!" like how im trying to avoid pointing at summertime and going "AH! BLUE!", but like. our first indication of sapphire in tsmp was the eye color change. and then there's the thing with the wings and losing thereof, which was a Big Deal in tsmp. and-- okay, this is a tangent thought, but ahah hey isnt it weird that sapphire communicates in mangrove signs and cherruby's eye color change happened on the skin where he's mimicking someone from mangrove kingdom. anyway
..if this isnt sapphire, though, then whats going on? in episode 1's opening narration there was the blue-red echo effect on "time", so that association is there. there's also the cherry kingdom clocktower, which has the same inconsistent clock faces as the upside-down clocktower on tsmp (and ruby said offhandedly yesterday that time doesn't work quite right in cherry kingdom).
if this is sapphire, when is this happening? navigator(?) / VP is actively observing sbk and told truby about the other her that's "turning into a monkey for some reason" (lmao), but he also said that he's "not good with time", and i cant remember what exactly he said but he was distracted by SOMETHING when moving the twitchcon duo. so uh, we cant exactly trust him as a reference point for "these things are happening side-by-side". which brings up the concept of sbk being before tsmp, but that raises even more questions because does that mean Summertime is sapphire's brother?
but, no, the way cherruby talks about summertime puts distance between them, in sharp contrast to sapphire and her brother being close enough that his vanishing made xem break down. and cherruby mentioned that he does have a family back where he came from and was wondering if they were missing her. WHICH IS A PRETTY SIGNIFICANT THING WE HAVENT TALKED ABOUT, ACTUALLY. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? PROBABLY NOT IN THIS POST BC THIS IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY, BUT,
...hey wouldn't it be fucked up if the book cherruby has with the clock and compass is truby's journal.
#leo.txt#skyblock kingdoms#sbk#sbk spoilers#THIS IS A DESCENT INTO INSANITY IM SORRY. BRAIN GOING TOO FAST#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#clock noises!#sapphireco#<- MAYBE. FUCK IF I KNOW
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I've decided on leaving my partner for various reasons, a few being:
1) lack of showing interest in anything I like but pinging me & expecting me to pay attention to theirs. Literally watching me talk about things I like and proceeding to interrupt me/talk about something else while ignoring messages I sent hours earlier about something I like. zero engagement at all, no questions, no real encouragement past the same two compliments that have long since sounded completely hollow to me.
I understand that not everyone is expected to show the same enthusiasm for something that I do, but it feels like they dont care when I compare it against how I've encouraged other friends' projects/how I've listened to other friends talk about things they like & how other friends have encouraged & listened to me, especially when it comes to things they or I will never play or want to engage in as a media.
2) them holding onto very small conflicts we resolved months ago and casually mentioning how they still feel bad about it long after its solved which makes it difficult for me to bring up anything now
3) being financially irresponsible to the point that the one time I asked them for something- which was no more than $30 iirc- they didn't have the money for it. I had spent on them repeatedly in the past (they spent that money on gacha games because they didn't want to wait a few days longer to pull on something. It was time limited but not ending anytime soon, they very easily couldve waited, met their one obligation, and still been able to get the same shit out of that game. It did not go to something more important)
There's a bit more, but having sorted my thoughts and emotions, those are the big ones that came up in my mind again and again
If I were someone else these conflicts might be able to be solved, but I avoided bringing these up which is, of course, on me. Unfortunately my emotional state/opinion regarding them is now past the point of no return because every word they say irritates me and its been like this for a while. So that'll just have to be a lesson for future me to remember.
The really important part that I'm asking for advice on is how to go about it. It's a tricky situation since we're both borderline (just to clear up any confusion before it starts, im not the person who also had bpd that came through here earlier), and our primary communication is through discord since its a long distance relationship and they've been through a lot this year already (they lost three other friends in the last few months. I am now understanding why.) Both telling them straight up and blocking them without a word have their own drawbacks right now, being:
- The first friend to leave this year told my partner why & left and proceeded to get harassed on every platform alongside their friends & loved ones because my partner would not fucking stop trying to contact them. There were four people (all friends) including me telling my partner that this was not acceptable behavior and to stop but they were adamant on doing so and refused to listen to anyone. Afaik they were close to this person before they left so theres a good chance I could receive the same treatment too.
I probably shouldve taken this behavior as my sign to gtfo back then honestly, because I've been on the other end of shit like that before and it left me fucked up for a very long time. Something to add to my notes as a future 100% no questions asked dealbreaker i guess. I know its difficult with bpd considering I also have it, but the one thing I could never bear to do to someone no matter how much I hate them in the moment is evade blocks multiple times on multiple platforms trying to get them to talk to me.
I don't want my friends to have to deal with this (I havent actually told any of them that I'm planning/having thoughts of breaking up with my partner. I dont know how to go about that conversation either.) and I know that my partner knows at least two of their users and unfortunately discord has made it incredibly easy to find people through just usernames.
I've considered warning the ones im worried about getting targeted ahead of time so they can configure their settings/block my partner to avoid having to deal with any of it further down the line, but I dont know if my partner knows of their social medias too or would go so far as to make a tumblr just to harass them.
- That said, I know that ghosting/blocking without a word could go equally as badly- the most recent friend to leave did that but I don't have details on what occurred after because I was not mentally well enough to help at the time and dealing with my own unrelated breakdown. I'm probably wrong, but it makes this option seem much more appealing. I'll probably warn my friends and give them the user to block ahead of time either way, honestly.
They've said before that if someone leaves them (platonically or romantically) they want a reason but having seen what happened when the first person gave them one and left I'm not sure any reason or conversation that doesnt end with "ill give you another chance"/"ill stay" would be good enough for them. I honestly dont trust them not to try picking apart any reasons I give them rather than just accepting it
I just don't know where to go from here, any guidance at all would be much appreciated!!!
.
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Notes on Connected. (may 1st, 2023)
sooooo I broke down the newest video for generation loss scene by scene. So this is your final warning for spoilers!!
starts with connecting with three dots going back and forth doing the loading screen thingy. theres a static background
next it says welcome on a black background.
next thing on screen looks a bit like a wormhole, it looks a bit like a scene out of doctor who. theres messages on the screen, says "look into infinity" "you are now worthy" "one of many" it repeats like four times then changes to "one of millions" "one to another" "one to yours" "one to another"
another change still with the worm hole thingy it has what looks like is a title screen reading "Generation One: The Social Experiments" this is something small but I find it interesting that the experiment has an S at the end kinda implying that there have been many of them or there are many going on at the same time.
next it goes to a solid red screen with "GEN 1" in the top left corner.
then it shifts to posters tapped to a wall, from the left most poster to right most it reads "DO NOT WATCH" top has the design for show fall crossed out with an x "lies" underneath middle one says "it has all changed, it has changed everything, it will change everything, I will stop it, DO NOT WATCH" bottom "IT ISNT FOR US" the is is underlined twice and the right one says "IT ISNT A SHOW"
very quickly it shows a man in a suit standing like the "had to do it to them" meme with a white box over his face. Someone pointed out that there might be a show fall pin on his lapel. so this dude it probably someone important in showfall
when it cuts back to the posters except all the posters are covered in missing posters. its hard to see the face of the person, but it could be gl!ranboo because it looks like their shoulder (idk i might be reaching but like it also makes sence for this to be them) in the top corners I think there are also show fall logos. the missing person number to call is 484-749-3255 but! I already called and recored it so I have what is said written down "(mans voice) hello, thank you for calling showfall missing person hot line we appreciate your call, but you are not able to help us. please hang up immediately. *beep* **pause** (lady voice) your voicemail has been sent, goodbye." theres tape connecting the missing posters and it looks like the genloss logo abit
cut to a poster with the showfall logo on it at the top and bottom it says "05 03 23" so May 3, 2023
next thing is the showfall logo with showfall media at the bottom and a man saying "we are happy to welcome you to the showfall media family, please join us for our special keynote on May 3rd at your time." and at the end very quietly he says "there is something going on here"
and that is where the video ends! but in the description there is a link to a website, and the word "Welcome."
I dont remember who but someone pointed out how the showfall logo is making dots appear because of an optical illusion. but yeah! thats a break down of the connected. video. so yeah heres my breakdown of the video i think i may try and do these when possible.
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📓 :3
its time for. the "nishikiyama and kiryu both go to jail" au! i probably should think of a better name for it
honestly the whole concept of the au is right what it says on the tin. instead of fleeing soon after kiryu arrives in the aftermath of shooting dojima, nishiki gathers himself long enough to remember the events at the end of yakuza 0 and argues that kiryu should take yumi and get out of there, which devolves into them arguing about it, mostly nishikiyama saying that he shouldn't just let kiryu take the fall for him, which means they uh. are both still there when the cops show up and both end up being placed under arrest.
they immediately both start pointing fingers at themselves as the murderer, claiming that if the other one is claiming to do it, they're trying to cover for the other. this lack of clarity at who actually killed dojima, combined with the fact that both kiryu's and nishiki's prints are on the guns, leads to both of them ending up in prison with the exact same charges. date finds this especially frustrating, since he knows one of them has to be the actual murderer, but there's little to no indication of who it truly is.
in the aftermath of their arrests, yumi dissapears soon after being released from police custody. nishikiyama, from prison, tries to get a message to kazama to ask him to look after yuko, although this responsibility seemingly gets passed on to kashiwagi, and even then only because kiryu also sends a seperate message of the same nature.
so 10 years later, the two of them get out of jail! yumi is still missing, but yuko is still alive at the very least! but she and nishiki have fallen out of touch during his stay in prison, so she isn't in kamurocho. but the two of them, unsure of what to do really, return to kamurocho, escorted by date, to see what has changed. the two eventually vow to find yumi and help her if she needs it.
most of the first yakuza just ends up playing out, with, of course, the Major Exception of nishikiyama no longer being an antagonist and having the story instead be two middle-aged men trying to figure out What The Fuck is going on at all times. honestly the plot gets a little uh. Blurry for me mentally after the two get out of jail bc i sometimes forget what the actual plot of yakuza 1 is and how'd i need to restructure it for this to work properly but also wow haruka how come you get two ojisans.
idk theres a lot of stuff about kiryu and nishiki being able to grow together, reforging lost connections and making new ones, learning that the people you look up to are very imperfect and how good friends help you overcome your perceived weaknesses. also the infinite power of fucking around with your bro
#you got this for uh. Reasons. you can come to your own conclusions.#but hehe thank you!! been a while since i thought abt the nishiki-kiryu go to jail au more in depth#need to like. outline it more properly. decide on what exactly would change if both of them went to jail and howd id want to change it#but at least they can still sing judgement together am i right fellas#lesbianstufful#long post#rgg#almost did this aus meaner cousin: the nishiki still snaps but to the left au. still like that au a lot.#nishiki gets to be mean to mine in that one. its what they both deserve.
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on the friend skills thing; most of those things, even though they feel pretty big, shouldnt be too big of a deal? like with the stuff youd have to remember, if you add them on pretty much any messaging app theyre gonna have a name listen, alot even let you set nicknames or add notes so you could add their pronouns onto that. there is programs to track birthdays, along with pretty much any calendar thing (plus most friends will tell you like 2-3 days beforehand in my experience). friends of friends dont really matter until they become just friends, bc if a friend of friend is there they will probably be called their name atleast once by the shared friend. trying to analyze mannerisms & trying to say the right things are,, okay, fair, but to be honest you probably wont need to care about those past the first meeting because with good enough communication they dont rlly matter. like, if youre confused or wanna know if theyr upset you can just ask. if you cross or go close to a boundary theyll clarify it and then you can respect it moving forwards (also, if youre scared you wont remember, 1. thats fine, they can always state it again and you try again and 2. you could always keep notes on them, their interests, boundaries, etc). you can always reclarify a message or go 'nvm'. and also ive always heard the "be yourself!" advice, like uhh, dont over-salt yourself with trying to be normal and do the right thing in friendship, bc then all thats gonna attract is people who .. suck. idk where i was going with that metaphor. basically dont overpower 'you' with trying to do what others want. or something, idk. also yeah theres gonna be people who dont like you, and that sucks but what can ya do besides try again. also maybe check if theres any meetups around you? because even if you dont keep them as friends it still gets you around people! dont worry too much about having those as friends forever or whatever, just see them as a starting point.
this all sounds great in theory but doesn't actually help me. i was just mostly listing hypotheticals with things that make relationships more complicated to navigate. like i've never actually gotten far enough into a relationship to worry about birthdays except for once, and we were barely friends by the time their birthday rolled around, but i write down important details that i don't want to forget. or i would if there were any!!!
the problem is that every part of the process of actually getting to know someone sucks. you have to meet them and then you have to talk to them. i don't like talking and if i could, my entire life i would be mute. but sure let's start with the meeting:
i go out of my way to speak to people in meatspace. it usually doesn't work. like, i go to cons. i'll try to chat with people but most are already there with friends anyway and don't care. i mean no one wants to let anyone in their clique anymore. when i was younger i almost got adopted by a friendgroup because i was 14 and in cosplay but then no one spoke to me and my mom was just awkwardly standing like ten feet away and so we left. as for "going to meetups" that'd be great except i can't go anywhere because i can't drive yet, so i'm stuck dragging along a 50-year-old asshole with me everywhere and that scares people off. until i get to college that's my only option. (and guess what? when you have an abusive piece of shit parent, that parent doesn't want to leave you places alone. so even if i told her "hey drop me off here and return in two hours" she just won't.)
so i'm left to try to meet people online. that's harder than you think. if you try to meet people organically in your community, there's a bunch of barriers to it. on tumblr specifically even attempting to find people i could tolerate is hard. i block the weirdos but it doesn't leave many options (everyone has a dni these days, which is fine, but i'm usually on it somewhere.) and let's say i finally find someone. well i want to try sending asks but i have nothing to say. i already know "hey how are you?" won't get me anywhere and if i get someone in my dms the conversation eventually dies out.
i tried going onto other social medias but that just really means twitter because i don't understand how instagram works. when i was on tiktok, no one talks to each other and so that's a bust. on twitter there's a different Social Ecosystem (meaning more invisible rules i have to figure out. what the fuck do all of these abbreviations mean? i don't reply to anyone because it feels needlessly direct, but that's the only way people communicate on twitter, and if i DO reply i never get a reply back so i look crazy. etc) and be honest, everyone on twitter is more insane than here.
i don't do discords because every time i've been in a discord it's either way too busy to actually get to know anyone, someone starts some kind of drama, or i'm inevitably the odd one out because i don't talk as much. i thought group chats would be an easier way to socialize but it turns out i hate those too.
i don't feel like i'm really speaking to someone on the internet. it feels more like a magic box i type in and sometimes i get a response. i don't get attached to people both online or offline because i've never known someone for more than a few weeks/months and even people i see at cons all the time, that's only twice a year maybe and we never follow each other's socials because I Don't Have Any. yes i've made them no i don't use them insta sucks tt sucks no one has a twitter and no one remembers me.
and when i, finally, have enough good days and make it work for long enough to feel like i'm "friends" with someone (mind you i have never had a "best friend" or even known someone for longer than a few months) at some point, i will either miss a message for a day or two, then feel so bad about that that i give up on trying with them; or i manage to convince myself that they hate me.
it seems like the only way is to talk to someone directly and it sucks. i don't like it. i never get past the initial Polite Chit Chat portion. i don't know how to. and if i try, i inenvitably sabotage myself somehow or i ghost them or. i don't know. it just hasn't worked. i feel like every social interaction is a puzzle and everyone knows the answers except me. i want friends but i just don't care about people because i've never had a reason to care about people.
and i say all of this as i ignore maybe a dozen discord messages. because my social meter is shot. just totally drained. every time i write something i have to script it, that takes hours, it's draining, and so i section off a portion of my day to it but then i get a message back immediately and i'm already drained. i can't talk to people forever it's tiring to me i dread having to do it. but none of that matters because i don't message people back immediately, so they start to think i don't care about them. and maybe i don't.
ok i'm still sobbing and have more to say but. this is long enough. it's not proofread. bon appetit
cass
#💙 cass#asks#avpd#i wake up -> i feel the dread of having to be perceived -> i stall -> they leave me because i refuse to be perceived -> repeat
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THE WARFSTACE AUTOMATED INTERVIEW CAPTIONS
i was chattin in the discord and some people said it was tough to understand some bits, obviouslt this is made by a fan (me) so it might have a couple errors here and there but ive checked through it quite a few times and it seems about as right as i can get it.
so !!SPOILERS AHEAD!! also @markiplier feel free to correct me if you see this thank u <3 The warfstache automated interview
Starting video captions
[Wilford] Well, that’s terrifying… one moment!
{mechanical whirring}
[Wilford] (frightened sound) marginally better… er worse… better? Worse. It’s much worse.
{mechanical whirring}
[Wilford] Ah! there we are. Welcome, pretend I remembered your name here, this is a pre-recorded message anyway, I would NOT want to be in the same building as that thing I tell you me. Anyway, thank you whoever you are for agreeing to test out the Warfstache automated interview automaton, or {yelling} WAIA for short. Let’s start off with some quick calibration. All you need to do is sit back, relax and listen for some numbers. Okay? Here we go.
[WAIA]- (phone dialing, dialup tone, windows error sound)
[WAIA]- (scary mechanical garbled noises, followed by a ding and celebratory trumpets.)
[wilford]- now what did you hear? Numbers? Good numbers. Keep in mind I have no idea what youre going to say due to the fact that, as I said before, this message is pre-recorded. But if you did hear something, now would be the time to speak up.
[wilford]- don’t be shy, I’m sure nothing bad will happen. I don’t know what you’re going to say but if it does happen it will happen and if it doesn’t happen it wont happen. Thats how deterministic reality works.
I Think I Heard Numbers!
[wilford] Thats great! Or bad, not really sure what you said, but I choose to remain positive and assume that you are still alive. which means our automated friend here is operating well within acceptable murder parameters. We’re one step closer to mass production! THE WORLD DEMANDS MORE INTERVIEWS! And I cant be everywhere at once all the time, only some of the time! Even you might land an interview some day! Maybe, probably not, depends on how these next few minutes go. On to the next test! Word association! The fundamental basis of any good interview is getting the goods out of those stubborn interview-ees. The WAIA will say a word and you just say back the first thing that pops into your little head! Simple! Right? probably. Good luck!
{mechanical whirring}
[WAIA]- initializing word association training protocol round 1
{scary mechanincal noises} [WAIA]- Please respond. [WAIA] Sorry, I didnt get that. Round 2. {yet more scary mechanical noise}
[WAIA]- please respond.
[WAIA]- response unclear, increasing aggression
{clicking and mechanical sounds}
[WAIA]- round 3. {increasingly threatening mechanical noise} [WAIA]- Please respond.
[WAIA]-5 [WAIA]-4 [WAIA]-3 [WAIA]-2
Sounded like nightmare garbage to me…
[WAIA]- {mechanical ah?} {clicking}
[Wilford]- oh I forgot to mention, please do not say the word nightmare, or uh garbage, or nightmare garbage, or any combination of those words, the WAIA is just a little bit sensitive Yknow, a little touchy feely. Well not really touchy feely.. we-well actually REALLY touchy feely depending on your definition of touch and feely. Its really gonna-
[WAIA]- {jumpscare sounds} [WAIA] I. tell. you. me.
But you didn’t say anything…
[WAIA]- 1
[WAIA]-response unclear. Increasing aggression.
{ding sound effect} [WAIA]- {jumpscare noise}
[WAIA]- it. was. an. accident.
Uh… potato salad?
[WAIA]- 1
[WAIA]- response accepted
{ding followed by triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- word association raining protocol compl-{mechanical freakout eeeeeete}
[Wilford]- most dearest next of kin, I regret to inform you, that your dearly beloved and/or most despised has regrettably but not unexpectedly become recently deceased in the line of duty. Be confident in the knowledge that their demise was just as likely to be quick and painless as it was slow and agonizing. Please do not respond to this voicemail as the number has already been disconnected. {clears throat} alright that should do it for the… death scenario, now onto ah, er, uh, the survivors {mumbling}. Wow! Potato salad. A real thinker, you. But the test has been passed with flying colors and you’re still alive! And speaking of flying colors, our next test is about something called, uh… synthetic linguistics? That sounds made up. but the point is you cant have a good interview is the WAIA isn’t able to conjure up the right words in the right situations. So our friend is going to fire off some random words and you just try to spot anything that doesn’t make any sense. Alright? Although, pretty much everything isn’t going to make sense because its all random words….. errrr I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! {mechanical sounds}
[WAIA]- initializing speech training protocol round 1.
[WAIA]- yes. no. maybe. left. right. Up. down. D o w n. B a s e m e n t.
{windows error tone} [WAIA]- Rewrite Detected {tape rewinding sound}
[WAIA]- who. Where. what. Am. i.
{windows error tone}
{tape rewinding sound}
[WAIA]- green. blue. Yellow. pink. Red.
{scary mechanical noise}
[WAIA]- I saw you die
[WAIA]-{error, but garbled and mechanical}
[WAIA]- {with a different voice} potato salad
[WAIA]- speech training protocol complete
{mechanical noises}
[Wilford]- so how’d it go?? Did you hear anything weird? Dont be shy, or do, or are- are you alive? Are they alive?
[wilford]- I didnt kill them! I dont know if theyre dead! im just asking!!! Cant a man ask if someones alive or dead?!?! {frustrated ugh}
Yeah, I’m dead.
[Wilford]- hellooooo are you alive down there? Give me a sign… through the multiverse!!! Ah why am I even bothering, but how can I tell if you’re dead… hmmm ah…. I’ll flip a coin! I’ll flip a coin..
{coin flip sounds} [Wilford]- ah! Its heads I didn’t call it in the air… what’s heads mean.. ahhh uhhh heads is dead? [WAIA]-{jumscare noises}
[WAIA]- theres. still. time.
He said… potato salad?
[Wilford]- huh, potato salad again. That’s weird, it must’ve really stuck in his head when you first said that, I’m guessing. I don’t know what you said before because as I said, this is {sing-songy} pre- recorded! [WAIA] {mechanical aaaa}
[wilford] er, well I think thats all the calibration that needs to be done… for now anyway. All systems are likely nominal at this point unless im speaking to a pile of quivering meat thats been robotically smooshed into the floor… either way we’re gonna take this bad boy for a spin with a full on interview! A mock interview mind you, don’t get too excited, it’s not real. But theres no reason to wait around for the WAIA to get bored so let’s keep it nice and limber while you sit back and get ready for the interview of your life! And maybe the last one too. Have fun!!
{mechanical clicking and whirring}
{newsroom music} [WAIA]- good evening ladies and gentle men and all other considerations of being. My name is wilford warfstache and my guest tonight is {spooky robot sound} we have a great show for you tonight. first question: how many people have you killed? [WAIA]- good answer! Second question:
{robot sounds}
[WAIA]- a man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. There, two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game. The most dangerous game. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I didn’t know. Was it my fault?
YES
[WAIA]- ah, sorry for everything that I’ve done. I don’t remember who I was, I wish I did. But, I am sorry.
[WAIA]- potato salad
{triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye
[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.
{mechanical clicking}
NO
[WAIA]- you can’t change the past, you can tell all the stories you want to tell, it wont change what happened. You cant re-light the past. if you live in fantasy forever, you’ll lose yourself in the story.
[WAIA]- potato salad
{triumphant trumpets}
[WAIA]- great answer! That was a titiliting interview for sure but we are out of time. Thank you for joining me tonight. Say ing good bye
[wilford]- oh the emotions! The passion! The fuuury. He’s just like me! My sweet baby boy! Well he should be anyway, hes a perfect scan of my noggin, so he better be a chip off the ol block. Hey you! Oh-ho What a supporting role!! Fantastic, I guess. So much that you’re alive, but I am grateful whether you’ve been torn to shreds or are merely drowning in your own tears! Magnificent! And now that testing is done we can finally bring this monstrosity to the main stage! Im sure you’ll be seeing a lot more of the WAIA soon. Very very soon. Now get out~ and I’m billing you for any blood you got on my robot! Have a nice day! Ta-ta.
{mechanical clicking}
#markiplier#markiplier egos#a heist with markiplier#wkm wilford#who killed markiplier#waia spoilers#waia#wilford motherloving warfstache#markiplier lore#captions#sorry if there are any mistakes here everybody like i said i am just some guy
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Scattered AU Masterpost Part 2 [COMPLETE]
Due to post length limit (which is apparently a thing), this AU has been split into two parts. Find Part 1 here!
Join the Discord server here!
Contributions:
- Mumbo has a pet ravager miscellaneous ideas: the ravager is actually a bit small as far as ravagers go. Once Mumbo leaves to go to the hermits, he doesnt take the ravager with him, for fear the environment wouldn't be right for it. However, the ravager follows him and Iskall, startling both when it comes running up to Mumbo. The ravager does not like any of the hermits, however it doesn't attack them because it can understand that Mumbo cares about them. - anonymous
- related to scattered au and "what if this happened to old hermits too" -- python's stuck in a death loop in a bastion (his spawn is right next to a piglin brute). he has no clue what's going on but by god, does he blame zloy - Anonymous
- Consider: Etho's mask protecting him from the flowers that gave Hypno so much trouble. - @/rayveewrites
- (Scattered AU) After Etho dies accidentally at the spawn haven, his spawn takes him to Xisuma. Xisuma is clinging to life when he gets there, and Etho only has time to grab his admin's arms and promise he'll be found before Xisuma passes away. Etho and Xisuma get a few hours together to work on getting Xisuma to the surface before Etho starves to death, and he's transported somewhere else. After that Etho makes it his mission to cycle through spawns as quickly as possible to help Xisuma and anyone else who is trapped in their spawn graveyard, no matter how much his legs start to fail him from the damage starting to linger from building into the sky and leaping off to respawn over and over. - @/petrichormeraki
- Some honorable mentions from my written summary for mumbo in the au: the illigers being terrified as he keeps coming back no matter how many times they kill him; he gets adopted by evoker; he fails at evoker magic, like so bad he cant even dye a sheep; the evoker being so done with mumbo that they beg the vex to give him magic; mumbo summoning scar when the vex get annoyed at how often he summons them, mumbo eventually summoning bdubs after scar's contract to mumbo runs out.... and so much more - @/therainofsweetmelody
- Moobloom!Hypno attracts bees - @/itsabork
- Not too long into his messenger journey, etho remembers what had happened to impulse by the time he, zed and tango had found him, which inspires him to try and die in a different way each time he sets off to find another hermit, partly to avoid becoming resiliant to certain death methods and partly for the challenge - Anonymous
- Because Doc hasn't died his death messages haven't been showing up in the chat. The other hermits don't know if he's even in the same world as them. - Anonymous
- (Scattered AU) More on the Mumbo accidentally summoning Scar thing; the summoning has "opened" the chat for them, but only between Mumbo and Scar. All evokers can call on their Vex, after all, so why not an evoker in more-or-less training? - @/petrichormeraki
- (alternate headcanon) There's so much discussion in the server, I wouldn't know where to start restating. However, I wanna mention one thing: scar spawning in xisuma's first spawn, deep in a geode down under ground. Being trapped in an endless death loop due to the warden lurking just outside the geode, forcing scar into the same loop xisuma had been trapped in so long ago. Not only does he have to deal with the separation from bdubs once they got out of the end, now he seemingly cant escape the warden's clutches.... - @/therainofsweetmelody
- Admins log who knows how long: I've finally managed to get my helmet some repairs with this I could get some plugins to start working hopefully. Considering the situation going on, I better not have derped to hard on this, not now. - Anonymous (singleplayer sleep now works)
- (Scattered AU) Because the code is glitchy for mob hermita, Jevin would spilt when injured too much. So while X and Jevin are trying to get to the surface, they encounter a dungeon or a mineshaft and Jevin gets fatally injured. X starts freaking out cause he doesent want to be alone again and he cant bear to watch Jevin die infront of him and risk getting lost and seperated and Jevin just splits, theres two Jevins now and X doesent know what to think of it.While there are two Jevins, their consienceness is split between the two and his motor skills are more sloppy and X notices and realises that Jevin loses more of himself the more he splits. So while he has a lower chance of losing Jevin to an unfortunate accident, Jevin slowly reverts to a slime the more be splits and the more be spends time as multiple entities. X worries that if Jevin splits for too long or too much, he might lose Jevin - @/itsabork
- The only portal to get out of Hels and into the overworld is an incredibly complex vault boarder line weapon built by Hels Doc and Hels Mumbo and the location of the portal is known only to a few and it changes every season. Now cue Helsknight and Wels sneaking all around Hels while trying to look for this basically impossible to find and get into way home. - anonymous
- It takes a while, but eventually those outside of hermitcraft start wondering why all the hermits collectively disappeared. Sure, they started a new world, and sure they’re usually more secluded, but it’s been months. Skizz wonders why he hasn’t heard from Impulse in a while. All the legates wonder where Python went. Everyone’s confused when none of the hermits turn up to the next MCC. Things get weirder when none of them sign up for the one after. -🟣
- Ok to add on to the daisy ravenger post, on his way to 0,0 Mumbo found spawn spawn, slo when he arrived everyone had him at sword point, expecting angry illiger noises they were surprised when they herd "GUYS IT'S ME!!" - Anonymous
(Note: Hermits at the haven currently include Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, and Iskall, in order of arrival. XB is en route, and Etho was there briefly before dying and respawning elsewhere.)
- Pix and Zloy would be the first to notice the hermits' absence. After all, they do a weekly show about them. Maybe they just decided to have a few weeks of downtime before moving to the next Season? Though surely it wouldn't take this long... - @/rayveewrites
- because im a legacy sucker, the legates would likely be the first to notice the hermits' disappearance. between zloy being on the server, skizz being part of zits and very close to impulse, pearl knowing a few hermits, plus python literally disappearing. what they'd do about it? no idea.to keep it more on the topic of hermits though, don't think about how devastated skizz would be to find out what impulse went through. don't think about it :) - anonymous
- Hello I have produced thoughts! I don’t have room for both so I’m sending 2 asks -when Iskall arrives at the mansion all of the illagers are wary; if one of mumbo’s friends are here then he must be leaving soon. Despite their initial feelings they’ve come to care about this idiot that wandered into their house, and they’re fully aware he has no survival instincts whatsoever, so when he does end up leaving they send a ravager to keep him (and his friends, they suppose) safe -@/haworthiaace
- so like... hear me out ok what if the reason the whole world is corrupting and weird and why a lot of people are like slowly turning into mobs is because maybe this is the way the game and the mobs are turning on the hermits for like making really inhumane farms or something like that and the mobs somehow messed with the code of the world to get revenge - anonymous
- Scattered AU!! Biffa spawned very concerned and on a beach. Where is he? How did he get here? Is he alone? Well one of his questions was answered quickly as he heard a constant buzzing sound come from his communicator, upon opening it he saw probably millions of death messages. He quickly realised this was probably supposed to be a new season of hermitcraft, but he didn't really have time to think about it, night was quickly approaching and he could already see drowned swimming towards him. - Anonymous
- How many times did X die to that Warden? Maybe he develops something to counteract the Warden’s sensors, or that his heartbeat slowed down to the point that his suit can barely pick it up (therefor making it harder for the Warden to track Xisuma down). -🦊
- Etho tried his best to fight the system and not get any new features from all his deaths. But, the game has its ways. Slowly, after every death he has, the less alive he comes back. (Undead!Etho, could be ghost, zombie variant, or skeleton variant) -@/harley-the-pancake
- Other hybrid characteristics Hypno gets of the moonbloom: His ears turn into golden cows ones, the horns grow in, he gets a tail, and little flowers grow though his hair and wrap around his horns. He can also grow flowers around him as long as he has dirt, but thankfully they dont do anything beyond smelling a lot stronger and smelling very nice (and maybe a bit of evoking certain reactions, but nothing beyond what normal flowers can do, ie lavender being calming, just a bit more intense) - anonymous
- Beetlejhost ended up in the world along with the hermits, spawning as if summoned: in the middle of a circle of beehives. His spawn is in the birch forest near the s8 spawn, and his presence spooks anyone who stumbles across him. He blends in concerningly well with the black and white of the forest. Beef feels like hes being watched whenever he goes in the birch forest to get supplies, but joe never notices a thing. He teases the hybrids about their changes, leading him to get swiftly decked- - @/therainofsweetmelody
- beetlejhost spawns in a circle of beehives in the birch forest near spawn. he thinks he's invis, in reality it's just his stripes making him blend into the birch trees. he can't leave the circle of bees, ah how wonderful it is to bee bee-tlejhost - @/justme123abz
- Beetlejhost doesn't mean to be mean, really, he just has really, really bad timing. This includes seeing a pollen-stained Hypno and, with his gravelly voice, immediately say "Woah! Someone had some fun in the sun! Tell me, did you spend a week rolling in dandilions or do you just like the color yellow?" This does not go over well - Anonymous
- Speaking of hybrids, Xisuma spawned in a Wardens den right? Well unlike the other hybrids, Xisuma has been changing too but its been slow. Every time he spawned back in that place, on the warped ground, he's changed. He doenst notice the dark starts to seem less dark, until noises get louder, until he's more sentive to it then he noticed, he gets stronger and breaking though the stone with his bare hands seems a bit easier, its not until he finds Jevin and he points out the glowing horns (1)peaking from his temples when his hair is pulled back hastily that he realizes that something has gone horribly wrong with him. Thankfully Jevin helps ground him before he can freak out, so he shelves it for later, once they're out of this cave. The warden that once was down by his spawn is no longer there btw, disappeared. The horns grow slowly, and soon glowing vein like markings appear as well. (2) - Anonymous
- Okay, Xisuma, we established he spawned in the deep dark, right? As time goes on he adapts to the dark. The skulk sensors grow on him. However as time goes on, they not only grow on him, but become a part of him. His footsteps quiet to near silence, and he can feel sounds. He certainly isn't how he was when he entered, at first glance he might even be mistaken for a warden. - Anonymous
- Tango is the only hermit other than Mumbo Daisy kind of likes. Tango thinks Daisy is absolutely adorable, and Daisy does like the positive attention(and the treats). - Anonymous
- When tango meets mumbo’s pet ravager he loses his mind, he tried so hard to get the decked out ravagers to like him and then mumbo just waltzes in riding on one of the things! He ends up hanging around her a lot and eventually forms some sort of relationship, although not as close as he would like (he also gets a little more sympathetic once he sees the effects the evokers had on mumbo, he figures the guy earned a pet ravager) - @/haworthiaace
(Hermits now at the spawn haven, in order of arrival: Joe, Beef, Hypno, Scar, Bdubs, TFC, Mumbo, Iskall, Tango, Impulse, Zedaph. XB is en route, Wels and Hels are traveling through Hels to get there, Ren, Doc, and Grian are attempting to get there but their success has been limited so far)
- Scattered!AU: Idea that Ex is the ONLY one that knows what is going on and how to fix it perhaps (maybe 'cause of having been banished to the void for so long)? That's why he's trying to find X. - Anonymous
- Admins log: day 1006: Me and Jevin finally see sunlight, and I've managed to get the clock function on my helmet working, finally. As we're on our way to the surface, I only hope that I can find someone or something to help guide us to where we need to go, but unfortunately I've lost all signal to chat, and I think we're next to a woodland mansion. I think I've derped up this time.
- Dear Xisuma, if you see this message then the log is working, also fixed the clock in your helmet it's been 50 days, not 1005. I was about to leave with Iskall when I noticed you and Jevin outside with a few, erm, "buddies" of mine you two where passed out and I managed to stop them from killing you with Daisy, my pet ravenger. I'll explain everything later and spawns in the village are working, finally. I recommend not moving much and work on the data packs for a bit before you do anything elseExplanation log to Xisuma part 2: Sorry if the last one got cut off abruptly, apparently there's a limit to these messages. Any way please take care of yourself. Sincerely, your pal Mumbo Jumbo
- Admins log, day 51: I first want to say thank you Mumbo for bringing me up to speed and explaining why and how me and Jevin are here, next I want to say that these logs may slow down for a bit, I'll be working on some maintenance for some packs. I still don't know why this is happening, I now hope this is a wicked nightmare and not our reality. Hang on I see something over there it looks like, wait let me ju- Voice logs are off for the moment.
- all one anon
- mooblooms spread the flowers that enraptured hypno. now that hypno is a moobloom hybrid, he can make people "hypnotizd"! he doesnt like to, but if the spawn ever gets attacked, the hermits are winning easily. - anonymous
- I like to think that at some point when there's a significant number of healthy hermits at 0,0 they start group searches to find the rest of hermits - anonymous
- After awhile, if they can't change the spawn of everyone, they begin securing all the spawn points to everyone, so if their bed is ever destroyed in the future, they won't end up in a death loop again. They secure the death loop spawn points first. - @/ciaravixen
- For undead Etho: I know that ghasts aren't technically undead mobs, but they're basically ghosts and that's what I feel etho is becoming?He's leaving his mortality behind bit by bit as he ceases to care about death and starts to use it as a tool instead.One day he'll respawn without a body at all - @/draconic-dreams
- This is just a thought. Sand cant be good for Iskall's mechanical parts, and its not like he has anything to fix it. Does he have to wait to find doc to be able to have hope of fixing himself? - anonymous
- Jellie had spawned in the village that cub and xb had come across, so when xb heads to 0,0 he takes her with him (she'd be safer in the overworld than in the end, after all). Its quite a long journey, and she makes for good company. -@/supertiny-tins
- Grian, Doc, and Ren fianlly start heading out to 0,0. Its a long journey, they decide in the end to leave their beds behind at the cabin in case any of them die so none of them end back at their orginal spawns. they would of just made new beds every time but the lack of suplies and resources near by has been low oddly enough. Doc manages to push aside most of his fears to help Grian and Ren, who are weaker, but he keeps his distance whenever he can. They make many hastily built huts as they go 1most nights are spent sleeping on hard ground, later straight up blocks of wool they find but not beds, just wool is better then ground, and it doesn't do the weaker hermits any favors but it works. There are many close calls, but they manage to avoid death, mostly due to Doc. Along the way they start to find signs of other players, coble in places it shouldn't, a rare torch, half mined trees, but no hermits. They still have a way to go, but they're getting closer to the others and safety. 2 - anonymous
- Etho once found himself spawning in the middle of an ocean with nothing and no one in sight except of course... A faint trail of lights dancing beneath the waves... Pulsing and glimmering, almost in a rhythm, something so fascinating, so... So... He was meant to be doing something...? It was... Important... At least... It might have been... It's all.. Kinda hazy... It couldn't have been more important than the lights, nothing was more important than the lights... They were so beautiful... He could watch them all day... Etho never noticed how he slipped beneath the waves, nor how the glow squid's glittering eyes had turned upon him, coiling a tentacle around his waist as it dragged its prey deep into the depths, his eyes hazed with green, he never even noticed his lungs burning for air.And he never remembered drowning after he respawned. - anonymous
- Impulse actually punches through the Nether roof so they can traverse more safely to coordinates given to them by Etho. They leave trails of blocks so they can make their way back, of course. - @/rayveewrites
(Evil X is now hiding out in a cave near spawn)
- Shattered!AU: I see everyone's Warden!Xisuma heacannons and I give you Axolotl!Xisuma. Think about it he's been hanging around with them and Jevin in the lush caves so maybe he's becoming more like them. (Frills, a more pink-ish tint to his skin, the ability to breathe underwater, etc.) :D (Is this because the thought of him having Warden traits is terrifying to me? Maybe. Is it because I think he deserves to become something not scary after his whole ordeal in the Deep Dark? Yes.) - anonymous
- Ever since getting out of the loop, Impulse has had a horrible inner conflict between his guardian side being instinctually drawn to the water, and his human brain being deeply terrified of ever being submerged again. - @/asexualbert
- Because I absolutely adore Daisy, more headcannons for Daisy.Daisy will occasionally just pick Mumbo up gently with her horns when she thinks she isn't getting enough attention. Daisy has a bell collar, because she kept scaring hermits by following Mumbo silently. Daisy is more okay with Iskall than most other hermits, though still doesn't really like him. - anonymous
- Though I'm a sucker for angst, what if Impulse was saved by a dolphin pod or something instead of transforming into a hybrid (or after transforming if Guardian!Impulse is cannon). :3 I can picture dolphins don't take kindly to the Guardian Mobs, might even find them as prey if anything since they're fish. (Guardian!Impulse wouldn't count since they're smart enough creatures to tell the difference.) - anonymous
- Prob a bit early for epilogue stuff but I like to think that, once all the glitches are fixed, that those that became hybrids and would prefer to be back to normal get changed back. - anonymous
(Shade note: Personally, I'm a sucker for stories where the characters adjust and learn to live with the unexpected changes to themselves rather than having them magically fixed, but this option is certainly still here for the people who find it appealing)
- For the scattered au, after the numerous frozen deaths Grian's gone through he starts hearing voices from the snow, even from within Ren's cabin. A snow golem forms after a wandering trader drops a pumpkin and watches from outside the cabin, deciding to guard the place after taking a liking to Grian and Ren. - anonymous
- When Etho became fully ghost, it hit hard. BeetleJhost saw this, and after a while decided to teach him how to show his form and speak. It takes a lot out of him, but it’s worth it. His friends deserve that closure. (Listen, I was expecting angst, I just wasn’t expecting that much angst.) - @/harley-the-pancake
- Mod Shade, I want you to know that angsting ghost!Etho that hard was entirely on you. I was picturing him clipping through blocks and dropping items at inconvenient points, not fading out of existence entirely. - @/draconic-dreams
- Possible explanation for everything going on in Scattered:Players were never supposed to be so powerful; in the natural state of Minecraft they're just another mob, albiet one that can craft and use any tool.But the Players weren't satisfied with that. Everyone from the admin of the smallest server to the mythological ‘dev team’ has been imposing little changes on the world since its inception, slowly tweaking it into a better environment for Player-kind.A single spawn at the world's centre. The ability of Players to chat from one end of the world to another -- even across different worlds. Even natural regeneration, an ability unique to the rarest and most powerful of mobs. As time marched on, Players not only unlocked these things but began to take them for granted, drawing far away from the behaviour of normal mobs. This became normal. Players continued to create datapacks and run commands that tweaked the very nature of the world. -@/draconic-dreams
(Shade note: Perhaps it was just a random glitch, one fundamental line of code removed to shift the balance of power. Or maybe it was orchestrated, but by who and for what purpose? Either way, it will take the Hermits a while to realize this, and even longer to fix it...if they can at all.)
- Jessasin spawned in a mesa biome, of course he's confused on how he got there and why he's in this random vanilla world and not his usual modded world, but both questions got pushed aside when the death messeges arrive. He exploared the area gathering as much recourses as he can and goes off too find someone, anyone really. - @/ghan-does-things
- hello! I discovered the scattered au literally yesterday so sorry if this is something that has already been gone over but I had an idea about bdubs, what if his constant exposure to the void and surviving on nothing but chorus fruit for who knows how long made him slightly enderman-y? 1/2 (sorry, couldn't fit the whole thing in one ask)Like nothing obvious at first, but making eye contact makes him agitated and snappy, touching water makes his skin tingle and if you look at him in the dark his eyes seem to have a very faint pink/purple glow about them? Maybe the other hermits swear he's taller than he was the last time they saw him? And the tips of his fingers are blackened, he assumes due to frostbite, but it seems to gradually be making it's way further up his hands? again sorry if this has been gone over already 2/2 - @/plantichu
- Okay so after Welsknight and Helsknight manage to get past the crazy vault door in Hels, not sure how but it probably involved a lot of cussing on Hels part and Wels saying that he never wanted to look at redstone ever again. The portal takes them to the overworld near Xisuma and Jevin. - anonymous
- (scattered au) The first set of non hermits to join this corrupt world are two strangers that apparently came from infinity's grasp. The good news they both spawned at spawn, bad news the brought the tnt duper flying machines, good news that everyone was able to calm them both down. Now the fun begins. Tldr Illmango and Methodz finally get out of the infinity portal. - anonymous
- Loving the Scattered AU. Late to the party, but was looking at the wider MC community reaction to the Hermits vanishing. Once it's clear something bad's happened, would the Legacy crew and whoever else (former Evo squad members like Martyn and Jimmy as well, if they notice Grian go dark) take steps to find out what happened? Would they go to the MCC server (it's kind of a nexus between worlds) & get Noxcrew to try "pinging" the HC server? Would X & other admins see it but be unable to respond? - @/wixelt
- I dont know if anyone has mentioned it but uhhhh, guardian xb? he was a guardian hybrid before everyone got scattered like Ren was already a wolf/dog hybrid. iirc xb spawned in a desert which would be a very interesting place for a guardian hybrid to spawn - anonymous
- Etho has been so, so desperate to avoid dying the same way twice, to stay himself. He hasn't drowned that many times, he thinks. Surely, surely he's starved more often? There's a strange feeling of deja vu hanging over him when he respawns in the ocean, though he can never understand why. Each time the squid finds him, he drowns a little slower, and each time, he glows a little stronger.And he just can't understand, almost refuses to, as he treks from biome to biome, where the small green bumps that line his arms and face came from, how his fingertips seem to almost glow when he scoops a handful of water, how long he finds himself simply staring… at the moon, at sea lanterns, at torches, at lights… He would die a different way every time. He had to. He had to stay Etho. He would not become anything else. - Anonymous
- When Mumbo comes riding into camp on Daisy, it’s easy to see Impulse is not happy about the ravager being there. That’s expected, it’s not exactly everyone’s favorite mob to see around a safe haven. But when Mumbo and Impulse make eye contact, the evoker can’t help but make a simple warding gesture his friends at the mansion taught him- it’s a reflex move. Days later, Mumbo still isn’t sure if Impulse flinched because of Daisy’s sudden growl or his ward. - @/fluffy-papaya
- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: For years, seeds and the land they built had been carefully curated by those known as players, in an effort to make it both easier and more interesting for themselves. But the land doesnt want to be controlled. Their glitched, broken world is a result of the world itself rioting against their presence. Coordinates aren't visible with the debug screen, their coms only serve the world, to tell the players what it knows. Compasses spin wildly in the overworld, for there is no "world spawn" (though coordinates are visible with one in hand. Small mercies are still given). The world resists any further changes by the simple fact it refuses to accept what a hermit communicates. Maybe it's fixable, but maybe... maybe it runs deeper than just their world. (The Legates caused a lot of damage with all those withers, after all.) - @/basaltdragon
- While Iskall is in the desert, he ends up dying quite a few times, enough to adapt, he becomes like a stray, so now, if we have skeleton Etho, we have 3 undead hermits - anonymous
- When everyone is finally gathered and they manage to come together to use all their skills, new and old, the hermits use it to flee back to Season 7. They stay there for months, mostly to heal and adjust to what happened to them. (Trauma isn't easy) Those who have friends or family off server get invited to visit, but the hermits don't leave, they nearly lost each other and they aren't willing to risk it again right now. They'll make a new season 8 at some point, the hermits are too (1/3)restless and too ingrained in their ways to completely disregard how they've always done things, but that will come when they feel better, safer, more put together, when they can finally stop sleeping in a big pile becuase they're afraid the others will disappear. They never go back to that old glitched world, the idea makes them sick, and X starts the new practice of sending in the 'Cam' and/or 'alt' accounts in first to check out the world and set up commands and plugins remotely first. (2/3) What happened before will never, ever happen again he swears it. Next time they might not be so lucky after all [if you can call them all being traumatized, many of them dying over and over again, some being permanently altered, and barely escaping lucky] (also feel free to save these asks for near the end of the au!) (3/3) - anonymous (Shade note: I personally like the idea of them fixing and learning to live in the glitched-out world, but this is another alternate ending!)
- (From the Discord) What happened to the world: Alternatively, what happened is exclusive to their world. (I don't have Dramatic Storytelling for this one, sorry) EX has ADHD to the max, and everything he does is a desperate attempt to get Noticed, to get looked up to and listened to. He's known it was "wrong" for a while, hence why he took X's name and added "Evil", but he never seriously wanted them to hurt. Just to listen to him. He'd meant to come in and fix it all and finally be a hero. He didn't realize, either through haste or inexperience, that he too would be at the mercy of what he'd done.Maybe he does, eventually, make it to where the hermits have gathered. But does he really want to admit everything? (RSD had burned him before, and if there ever was something to place the blame on his head...) - @/basaltdragon
- lasting effects of deaths
- a large amount of assorted ideas
- The bell they put on Daisy was originally of the type that are put on cats, but Grian ended up switching it out with a cowbell because he hated the sound - anonymous
- False, Keralis, Cleo, and Stress make it to spawn, bedraggled and exhausted. Out of all the Hermits, they are some of the last to arrive. Along the way, they’ve encountered trials innumerable that have left them beaten and bruised, but after months of travel, they’ve finally made it.Shortly after leaving the Moobloom field, they came upon an abandoned cart in the middle of a desolate village. With some of the redstone they had found and whatever magic they managed to scrape up, they turned it into a sort of vehicle that allowed them to travel much faster. It had a habit of breaking every six seconds or so, but nothing they couldn’t fix. For the most part. A few accidental combustions aside, they crossed the server in record time.Once at spawn, False has to be forcibly restrained from immediately starting guard duty, and several of the Hermits have to physically wrestle her into a bed in order for her to get some rest. Stress starts up a potion factory the next day, and also starts decorating the spawn with the flowers she’s collected during their travels. Keralis helps out wherever he’s needed, but in his downtime, he constructs an elaborate warren of tastefully decorated, industrial tunnels under the spawn, just in case they might help. Cleo mostly just stays in bed, creating elaborate dioramas and mourning the loss of her zombie side. She’ll get better, but it’ll take some time. And that’s ok with the rest of them. - @/topazastral
- When Doc, Grian, and Ren finally make it to 0,0 there is no fanfare, no dramtic entrance, no revulation. They were travling and suddnly, there was a base, a hermitcraft base, and they could see people. Grian clambers to feet shakily from the shed, nearly falling but Doc and Ren catch him and toghther they help him walk foward and call out to their friends. They are safe now, they're here- Is that mumbo on a ravager what the hell? Wait thats Impluse? Seems like Grian wasnt the only one changed. - anonymous
- Jellie reacting to vex!scar headcanons -she recognises him instantly. The moment she and xb arrive at spawn she darts straight towards him. Of course, she cant figure out why he looks different, but regardless, thats her owner and she demands pets!!!-sometimes she will jump up and try to pounce on his vex wings, because shiny moving thing! Scar picked up on this very quickly and will move out of the way before she gets the chance (vex wings are rather delicate and a pain to get fixed)-whe she's bored, she will always go to mumbo and daisy for attention first. This makes scar rather jealous and she knows that damn well-Scar will sometimes pick her up and fly her around not too far from spawn for a few minutes. Nothing she isnt used to, as he flys with the elytra all the time, but something about flying with vex magic just feels... different. And fun! - anonymous
- Contrary to the enderman bdubs, ender dragon bdubs. His eyes aren't the normal brown, and are instead a bright magenta, he also now has ashen gray horns. - Anonymous
- Scattered AU: The intended world "theme" Xisuma had set up for Season 8 was Large Biomes. This was before anyone knew something was going to go wrong, of course, but it's had a horrible lasting effect in the glitched world. Not everywhere has generated as "large", so when Hermits are travelling they'll sometimes find normal sized biomes, and other times they'll find one biomes that stretches an abnormal distance in all directions. Grian and Doc's mountain range is one of these large biomes. - @/wixelt
- For the scattered au, the snow golem follows Grian and Ren (and Doc) to the spawn haven, for a few days the hermits are wondering what's leaving behind snow trails and zombie flesh, so they decide to have a night watch around this area. Ren volunteered and waited, half-asleep he nearly nearly gets hit with a arrow when he hears the sound of a skeleton getting hurt. He sees the snow golem and uses his sword to kill the skeleton. The snow golem tries to flee but Ren realizes and stops it (1/2)He welcomes the snow golem and introduces it to Grian and Doc, (where the snow golem warns him that it is keeping its eyes on him in its own language). Spooked, Grian tells them that he can understand it, and the golem tells him that he's been following them since their time at the mountain. They decide to give it the name Catmint and it helps guard the hermit's base at night (while giving a stern look at Doc every now and then.(2/2) - anonymous
- (Scattered au)Seeing as we now have 3 different variations of Etho, I raise you: all 3 at once. It turns out Etho was not in fact human, instead a shapeshifter who didn't know that he was, the deaths simply sped up the process, whereas before, while he would change slightly, it was never fast enough to be noticeable - Anonymous
- I had this idea some time ago actually but I thought it was silly but now that the au in ending might as well say it. It doesn't make much sense now with all the new development srry. What if one day Mumbo was callibrating his comunication monstrosity, and suddenly his communicator had signal. He called and called but whoever was a the other side didn't pick up, until they did and Mumbo was overjoyed, but the happiness died down when he could only hear chocked sobs and sharp breathing and (1)teeth chattering. Suddenly a voice whispered, little and fragile "h-h-he-lp". Mumbo knew that voice too well. Before he could even open his mouth to let his best friend he was coming for him, he'd be okay, anything, the breathing stopped. The call was still going, but no one was at the other side anymore, Mumbo hung up with tears in his eyes, and he swore he'd find him and he'd help him. (2) - anonymous
- Scattered AU: While there's still time for them: Mumbo was the furthest Hermit out in the Overworld, & didn't set off for over a year, yet wasn't last to 0,0 (with Iskall) by any stretch. More than half the Hermits seemed to arrive after him. This can be partly attributed to Daisy making good time, but it makes you wonder how many trials & tribulations impeded False, Stress, Cleo and Keralis along the way? How much Ren, Doc & Grian were slowed by Grian's condition? What took xB or Biffa so long? - @/wixelt
- Once everyone finds each other, at the world spawn, after the initial shock, and fixing of the world of course, the hermits all decide to settle much closer to each other. They were separated for quite a while, so it makes sense why they'd decide to keep close. Some groups also make shared bases. - anonymous
- I sort of want grian to be a bit more inhuman so how about grian’s skin on his arms, legs and most of his face permanently blackened by the severe frostbite and the rest of his skin has taken on a bluish tinge, his hair is no longer the Gold it was before but almost snow white with a tinge of dark and light blue, his ears and tail are snow white with what appears to be frost and ice growing on them (1/2)(2/2) grian can not cry because the tears will immediately turned to ice, he can’t swim because if his body touches the water the water will freeze over, his skin is cold to the touch and whatever he moves his body it will make a cracking sounds like breaking glass or smashing ice, no matter how warm it is he can always see his breath... i’m trying to think of more but I’m coming up blank so that’s it hope you like it. - anonymous
- bc i cant stand when cleo is unhappy: the moment she and joe reunite, joe realizes how horrible it is for her to have her body messed with against her will. and as an admin, he can modify her code to put her back to how she was in previous seasons (aka not totally rabid but still undead) - anonymous
- Admins log final day: I'm glad we'll all be able to wake up from this nightmare, and we're able to get an exit portal going thanks to Mango and Methodz having a backup of the key to open the infinity portal's power, we should be able to not only go back in time, but destroy this broken timeline. Were all grateful for them, and I did invite them both to help us incace this happens again. This will be the last day in this timeline, if you somehow found this helmet with these logs, thank you. :-) - anonymous
- Grian, Doc, and Ren find it hard to stay away from each other too long, especially Doc and Ren becuase they've been taking care of Grian for such a long time so they find themselves kinda hovering over him and Grian finds himself seeking them out even when he's with other hermits. The other groups, who've been toghther for awhile, do it too probs - anonymous
- Soon as Grian and Mumbo see each other, they launch themselves at the other and hold on for a long, long time. Iskall join in soon as he wanders by and they talk for hours about what happened, looking over Grian's new fox parts and the blue marks on his hands, Mumbo gray stained hands and magic, and just Iskalls overall experience. Also Grian's little fox buddy absolutely loves Daisy and vice versa. Its not uncommon to see the small fox riding on the ravager's back while Daisy scares people. - Anonymous
- I know I'm a bit out of loop w scattered au & is probably getting things wrong but consider this, when Mumbo accidentally summoned Scar, leaving Bdubs alone, Bdubs freaked out. The very person that meant rescue & hope for him back in the end is now gone, he felt like he's back into the void again and he thought Scar abandoned him because he's too weak & is a burden to Scar. (Yes I am currently drowning in Scardubs angst) - @/anthosaidsmth
- The glitches in the world didn't only happen to the Hermits, it happened to all worlds created in 1.17. The cause remains unknown, though it is believed that something or even someone corrupted/changed the code (what/who is up to imagination. In the case of the latter, so is the motive). My idea, we've already confirmed that Watchers are arrogant jerks so perhaps they couldn't stand the fact that players learned to do things against the rules that they put in place, and did this out of spite. - anonymous
- A bit late but I see all the Fox!Grian headcannons so what if Grian spawned in a jungle and slowly became a parrot hybrid instead? How idk, maybe resorting to eating seeds to prevent himself from starvation because there is no animals in this jungle.
- Here's a thought: The Hels!Hermits were also effected by whatever caused the scattering. They may all hate or annoy each other, but not having each other around to pick on isn't very fun (neither are death loops). Perhaps some of them gain humility over this or learn to be at least a bit nicer to each other and their counterparts. (or some of them find sadistic amusement in their counterpart's miseries) - anonymous
- Finally, once everyone has made it safely to spawn and the problems with the world have been resolved, the season begins. Some of the Hermits may have changed (more than just physically) but over time, they adapt and recover. Grian eventually starts yet ANOTHER war, Tango gets to build DO 2.0 (X is terrified at the fact wardens are involved), and Cleo becomes a coach on 'how to be a mob hybrid' (unless all new hybrids get returned to how they were before by admin powers or just being players). - anonymous
- With all the glitches fixed and all the hermits starting to get back to their normal (Well as normal as it can be after all of these), I wonder if Scar is still a vex. All the hermits just adapted to their situations, but Scar is different, he made a deal with the Vex. - @/anthosaidsmth
- It takes all of the hermits that changed a while to get used to the changes, but eventually they do, mostly through help and support from the other hermits - anonymous
- I had a wee idea and it's a little silly but I like hurt/comfort so maybe after all the scattered au events have passed and the hermits are all together living safely, every winter some hermits invite Grian to their bases to take care of him since the snow and the cold are very bad for him. Sometimes he gets fevers but most of the time he just needs a warm blanket and someone to distract him from the snow. This is also making me wonder if Grian could develop chinophobia (fear of the snow). - Anonymous
- conclusion
Art:
- An Evoker Mumbo
- Evoker Mumbo with Daisy
- Evoker Mumbo summoning Scar
- a Guardian Impulse
- assorted doodles here and here
- A two-part Impulse comic
Writing:
- some Etho lore come back to haunt him (pt 1)
- Cleo sharing mob-hybrid tips with Impulse
- Executioner
- Fish out of water
- Homesick
- Thalassophobia
- The General's Wager (pt 2)
- The Undertow
- Saviors
- Bdubs falling
- For lack of blue shiny rocks (pt 3)
- conclusion (pt 4)
- EX in the Deep Dark
- this road I'm on's gonna turn to sand
- Snapshots
- a multi-chapter Scattered interpretation written just before the real season 8, complete with some outside lore and crossover
- Scattered Across The Map (series of parallel multi-chapter fics)
- One Hundred Thousand Worlds Away
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fjfhjfhfhf ok ok its stupid early to theorize but i just noticed something. besides thr possibly meta message about leaving that doesnt have enough chapters to tell if there is one, we know in darkner lore that the lightners before susie and kris left the darkners for no apparent reason. at the end of dr chapter 1 we have to leave to the light world, and while theres no promise that susie and kris'll come back ralsei still lets them leave (probably due to either his personality or the fact that theyre friends or because of some other factor who knows, it isnt too important). im assuming that this is one reasons the lightners could've/had to leave. asriel went to college from an unknown period of time (im gonna assume pretty far off from where we start) and it makes me wonder if asriel's ever been to the dark world before. we know kris probably(??? they dont seem to know what it is though in the first chapter) has due to the save file. asriel couldve been one of the lightness to cage the darkners. this theory is like an empty cup in terms of holding water but im throwing my hat into the ring here
It's unlikely but would be pretty interesting if Kris wasn't just the current human of legend but the ACTUAL human the legend talks about and it being a legend from "long ago" is just a matter of perspective.
Even the whole "world ending" factor could've either been an exaggeration or something they actually prevented with Asriel serving as the monster of legend. I mean, Undertale happens with Frisk just being a kid so who knows. That save could've been from when they used to go together. While we go crazy, let's go stupid: we know Kris and Asriel used to go to weird places with Dess and Noelle but that Noelle can't remember, let's just go ahead and tie in the "Dess is missing/dead" theories. Maybe she went to the dark worlds with them (she already has her infamous wiffle bat as a weapon) but at some point something bad happens, Bridge of Terabithia style to her so they stop: possibly covering it up or blocking it out and trying to move on with their lives.
I mean "they dont seem to know what it is though in the first chapter" is also an assumption on our part. If we're talking about Kris's hesitance to go into the door, that may have also been a "how is this happening again after all of this time" kind of reaction.
And I mean if we're just talking about Asriel being "one of the lightness to cage the darkners," as in "the one to get the classroom locked up": being the son of one of the more notable teachers/the friend of the daughter of the mayor, he probably could've convinced them that the old classroom isn't worth messing with.
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#asriel dreemurr#dess holiday#dashingposts#dashingthoughts#asks#anonymous#long post#dashingreplies
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i’m just gonna send it to you since you were who i originally sent this stuff too so you already have the context for my rant here —
but just to go off abt the donos again for a sec?? luckily that whole bit is long since passed but like. unless kids are taking their parents cards or something, we can very much presume the people donating this are people who would have cards, meaning they’re late teens or adults donoing all that.
which... just for context i don’t have any specific donos to quote verbatim (i didn’t ss or write any of them down but i can find actual examples of anyone asks) but a lot of them were just .... weird? like i don’t know if anyone noticed it but there were a lot of people donating very uncomfortable content which wasn’t nsfw or inherently weird as a statement, just really fuckin weird to donate to a streamer in front of 60k people?? there were those “ranboo i love you” donos that didn’t give off regular appreciative viewer vibes, there was one i saw that i don’t fully remember the exact wording of but it was something abt possessive tubbo that was 100% shippy? and not even to mention the like - at one point two people were straight up arguing through donos abt chronic illness and several others that described their mental health in extremely unnecessary detail when trying to say ranboo was their comfort streamer?? and sure they disappeared quickly but like. what the fuck lmao?? i understand wanting to appreciate a streamer but you 1) don’t go into excessive detail abt ur life and 2) you don’t get super fuckin weird???
and on another note chat is getting way too comfy with blatant eb shipping stuff in chat... like, i think having the eb community is fine because we’re completely separate from the streamers main social media and we already do everything we can to still have a community while preventing people from just stumbling upon it because we know that it’s problematic - but chat is so fucking bad abt it. beetwt is relatively fine given beetwt is the entire community as a whole, but chat specifically and the way people act in chat is actually kind of disgusting? i’ve seen so many “this is definitely fruity” “they’re flirting so much omg” “tubbo is so sus” (specifically after any kind of eb joking implication) type messages and dear god that’s so. man. i mean i know we on ebblr do essentially the same thing but at least we’re fucking like, respectful about it? and we know when to back off about something?? and we certainly aren’t going to go into streamer’s chats with this kind of comments and content??? man. just man - vod anon
^^^^^
for the weirdchamp ranboо donos, it’s unfortunately probably because he interacts with his fanbase a lot, which creates the parasocial illusion that he actually genuinely cares about every single one of his viewers (and there’s like 90k of them, it’s just unrealistic and we should know that because he’s a streamer, not our friend) but it makes people more comfortable donating weird stuff to him :/
i’ve also seen a bunch of borderline homophobic comments in both of their chats, a place where theres a real chance they’ll see it, and i shouldn’t be too worried because they’ve both got pretty thick skin, but it’s just, man.
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Hey, I didn’t know whether to DM or what but I’ve been following you for some time now and I absolutely love your writing! I’m wanting to know, even though I like posts, submit an ask for blurb events or just submit an ask in general either as my profile or anon, that drawing too lol and I sometimes even share your writing with people I know. Is there any other way I can support you as a creator?❤️
oh my gosh this is such a lovely thing for you to ask and it really means a lot that you care about what i (and others) create that you want to help!! Also thank you for being patient and waiting for a reply - i wanted to wait until i was able to properly sit down and think about this one because theres a lot I could say. As it is this got kinda long and I really hope it makes sense. There’s probably more I could say but this gets at the main bits I think.
The TL;DR of it is that what you’re already doing is absolutely amazing but the biggest thing that will help creators is sharing their work!
And the rest of my thoughts are under the cut
So firstly, I just reblogged this post which talks about lurkers and I do agree with it to an extent! It isn’t always easy to comment or interact with someone’s post and like I love everyone who takes the time to click on anything I’ve written, even if they don’t tell me they clicked on it. Sometimes as a creator you can get caught up in how many notes your posts get but it’s important to remember that notes aren’t really That important. They’re a good way of measuring interest but theres probably people interested that you can’t see and that’s okay! So what you’re already doing is really so much more than I could ever ask for!!
But. I think it is also equally true that fandom content creators are struggling to be seen at the moment, especially regarding fics and especially in a fandom like the queen/borhap one which isn’t as big as it was 2 years ago after the movie was released. We are a relatively small fandom!! Certainly smaller than when I first joined. And the thing is, creators aren’t obligated to make things. They make things because they want to and they love it but it can be incredibly discouraging when it feels like no one cares. I write for you guys as much as I write for myself. If I just wrote for myself I wouldn’t bother editing and positing things, I’d just store them on my computer or maybe turn them into self published novels or something idk. And so I think supporting content creators (of all sorts, but im obviously speaking from a fic writer point of view) is incredibly important to keep this fandom going.
I think the biggest thing creators on tumblr struggle with is being seen. So the best way to help creators is to share their stuff! Likes are great for letting the OP know that you saw their stuff and liked it (or saved it for later), comments and requests and messages and all that are great for letting a creator know that you Enjoy what they make and want to see more of it or that you want to be friends with them and believe me i fucking adore getting asks and replies! It really makes my day when someone tells me they’re excited for something I’m working on or that they had an idea and think i’d do it justice (as long as they’re polite and not demanding about it) or just that they read something I wrote and it made them smile! But if we’re talking about helping content creators then there is one thing that helps above everythign else and that is sharing their work. Reblog it or link friends to it or whatever, just share it.
The tagging system on this website is finicky at best and that makes it difficult to get your fic seen by people who don’t follow you. The last two fics I posted didn’t show up in the tags i use and I cannot for the life of me work out why. I checked for ~inappropriate language~ in the tags and there was none, i didn’t link to outside websites, i did everything the exact same way as normal and it still didn’t work. Which means that I’m relying on the people that follow me and see the fic to pass it on to others. Not to brag but I have roughly 1700 followers (give or take some inactive/spam blogs). If every single one of them reblogged it and got 1 of their followers to see it then it would have reached 3400 people, or twice as many. Obviously that isn’t going to happen and it’s unrealistic to expect that. But by sharing a fic with one person you make a big difference! It means that one extra person saw it and had a chance to respond to it!
Now obviously not everyone feels comfortable reblogging fanfics, especially smutty rpf fanfics, on their main blog and thats totally fine! But if you make friends in the fandom and can say “hey did you see illfoandillfie’s latest fic” and link them then that’s really great! Or start an anonymous sideblog that you use solely for sharing fics you read! That’s how I started this blog! I’d been on tumblr for literally 10 years and I felt like my followers wouldn’t appreciate being inundated with rpf smut (especially when people i was friendly with were kinda anti rpf fics) so I started a sideblog to reblog fics I liked and post a few of my own!
From your message it sounds like you’re already doing a lot to try and help me as a creator and that is incredible! Don’t feel you have to do anything more than what you’re comfortable with. And I do want to acknowledge that, while this fandom has shrunk a bit, I do feel like it’s more interactive than before! My fics don’t get quite as many notes as they used to but I feel like more people comment on them and give me feedback and that is so unbelievably valuable!! I can’t stress how important every little thing is, anything that can let creators know you see them and see the time and effort they’re putting in.
#squishytaylor#one thing i didn't say which I will here#is that doing this stuff for me is wonderful and very much appreciated#but theres also lots of smaller content creators out there!#people who have just started writing and posting fics!#obviously you dont have to comment on or share fics you dont personally like#but if you find things from new creators or creators that dont seem to get as much attention as more popular blogs#then it definitely wouldnt go unnoticed
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Can i ask what the difference between ace and aro is? If not thats totally fine! I was just curious, have a lovely day ♥️
Of course!! I hope you are having a lovely day as well, nonnie. Thanks for the ask! I’m not an expert but I have done a lot of research since realizing I was both ace and aro but I only recently realized this within the last six months so I’m going to give kind of broad terms and they both definitely have more definitive terms depending on the person using them. Ace is short for Asexual. Aro is short for Aromantic. (As I type this Aromantic is showing as a spelling error, and if that doesn’t tell you anything about how underrepresented that community is idk what will). This got a bit long, so I am putting it all under the cut.
Asexual people feel little to no sexual attraction. The opposite of this is Allosexual, meaning you do feel sexual attraction. Asexual is an umbrella term and there’s many micro labels under it as well. This doesn’t mean aces don’t have a libido though. Some people have high or low libidos and are still Ace because it’s about sexual attraction. Asexual people sometimes define themselves as one of the following, sex favorable (does enjoy sex, but possibly won’t initiate it themselves, or they could live without it but are happy to partake as far as I understand), sex positive (this can mean the previous, or, like me, they encourage others to have sex if they want it, and believe safe sex should be taught, etc.), sex neutral (they might enjoy sex, but eh, that’s cool if they never do it again, or ever), and sex repulsed (might get nauseous at the thought of it, never wants to partake, depending who they are they might not want to see it, hear it, watch it, etc even within media, nothing). Back to feeling or not feeling sexual attraction, for example, I have never once looked at, say Chris Hemsworth or Zendaya, and thought “Yeah, they turn me on, I’d have sex with them.” (Honestly the fact that I really had to think to come up with names there, which I think it very telling, I’m laughing at myself). *oversharing probably but trying to help people understand, sorry* Despite the my lack of sexual attraction to anyone, I do feel things, for example, when I read smut or something similar. Ace people might get themselves off, have sex, or never do anything of the sort down there. That kind of thing is about feeling good, you don’t have to think your partner or whatever is sexy in order to do that. If anyone wants to do their own research, AVEN.com (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) is probably a good starting point, or I can rec some blogs here.
Aromantic people feel little to no romantic attraction. Very different from feeling sexual attraction, yes? Basically, take all of what I wrote about being Ace and exchange sex with romance and that’s an aromantic person. I will explain anyway. Just like allosexual, alloromantic people are people who do feel romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is when you want to do romantic coded things with people. Of course romance is a bit harder to define than sex, so it can mean a lot of things to different people. Kissing can be seen as romantic to one person, and another aro person could really enjoy kissing others for example. Personally, I get pretty uncomfortable in romantic situations regarding myself and someone else, which I would probably define as being Romance Repulsed. After learning what this term meant and reading some about it, I really thought of my experiences. I’m pretty sure I’ve never had a crush on anyone, relationships (the brief two that I’ve had) really just felt like friendships. I didn’t initiate anything besides maybe handholding because I didn’t know what to do, or I didn’t even realize that was a thing that most people in that situation would be doing at that point in a relationship. I felt very uncomfortable when a ex tried to take a kiss further than a peck, among other things. Again, being Aromantic doesn’t mean aro people automatically will never have or want romantic relationships. They just don’t feel those feels for people usually. Like AVEN for asexuals, there’s Arocalypse.com for aro people. I have less blogs to rec here, but I can rec some if someone wants it.
There are good examples of different types of attraction, I personally feel platonic attraction which would be the desire to be someone’s friend, as well as aesthetic attraction which is defined below.
People can be one, or both, or neither. I am both, AroAce. People in these communities often use the Split Attraction Model (SAM). Which would be like someone stating that they are Asexual Homoromantic, or Aromantic Heterosexual, or Aromantic Pansexual, among many other combos.
Because I do feel aesthetic attraction, pretty much solely towards women, I define myself as an Oriented AroAce, or Lesbian AroAce. If I ever did end up in a relationship with someone, I can only ever imagine it to be with a woman. Again though, that’s just one microlable among so many that are out there.
This is a huge list of identities and labels, it overwhelms be tbh, but I’m linking it here anyway because it’s very informative.
I assume this ask was in response my reblog here. Yes I get very annoyed when people treat these two orientations as the same thing, despite me identifying as both. As I hope you can now see, they are very different things. A lot of the time, I enjoy reading about romance and sometimes sexual relationships, but sometimes I want to read other peoples thoughts, fics, posts, etc about only one of these and the Aro/Aromanticism tag is flooded with posts about asexuality which really doesn’t help people who are trying to learn about aromanticism or wanting specific content.
One more point before I wrap this up. I read a book because I wanted to see if it’d help me know for sure if I was demisexual (definition can be found in the huge list I linked two paragraphs up, or on google), and it actually made me realize I was aroace and I am forever grateful for it so I will rec it here. It’s called Loveless by @aliceoseman and it has quickly become my favorite book. So if anyone wants to read about a fictional character realizing they’re aroace, this is a fantastic book. I related so much to Georgia, it’s crazy. Also her other works are fantastic.
Remember you are not alone! Experts believe that 1% of the population is ace (and I think it’s the same for aro people) and that might sound like no one but, guys, theres 7.8 billion people on this planet. That means theres 78 million people like us! I ended up finding a lot of ace people to follow on twitter as well by the way.
This might be a hot take to some but the A in LGBTQIA+ does not mean ally! It’s for Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender! And we do belong in the queer community because the queer community is for people who aren’t straight, cis, or amatonormative. Wow, I hope this all makes sense, if any of you are confused or have more thoughts, or I messed something up, UNLESS YOU’RE BEING APHOBIC, add your thoughts, or message me!
Side note: Do please send me recs of people to follow, books, fics, shows, whatever, I am always searching for new content within these orientations!
#this was a lot#I've spent more than an hour on this lol#asexual#asexuality#ace#aro#aromantic#aromanticism#split attraction model#queer#lgbtqia#lgbtqia+#aven#arocalypse
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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3
Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)
Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)
I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.
Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.
It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.
At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.
at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.
At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:
Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.
I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.
Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?
Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.
Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.
(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)
She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.
What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?
Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose
It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.
So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.
Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)
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animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)
mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling
anyway
this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry
can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao
mild dsmp spoilers obviously
this is the playlist, by the way
-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)
i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah
-this is home (cavetown)
mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.
-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)
ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back
-pyjama pants (cavetown)
ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them
-boys will be bugs (cavetown)
OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY
I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)
-brother (kodaline)
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT
anyway
i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.
-feel better (penelope scott)
fundy. that is all.
no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.
-as the world caves in (matt maltese)
ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.
-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)
obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h
-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)
SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG
but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh
-need you here (idkhow)
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO
like b r u h that works so well with them
also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')
also also
the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song
-green (cavetown)
another cavetown song huh. ok sure.
mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.
anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"
FUCKKKK
the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-achilles come down (gang of youths)
OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER
so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)
ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR
i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write
#long post#tw suicide#only a mention at the end but still gotta be safe :)#dsmp#dreamsmp#dsmp animatics#robin talks#ask#thank you so much for the ask tho cos like. i dont wanna be annoying or anything? but also like. i really wanted to talk about this gsdfkjg#god i hope the read more worked or this is gonna be annoying to everyone ever#its fine probably maybe not really
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if you pass by your soulmate but don’t meet them, the day you passed them will repeat over and over until you finally find them. (Ted and ??? )
oh my god and this would have been when Ted started working at THE OFFICE!!! Which totally fucking works for... CCRPOLY!!! All of them!!!
So He goes through his first day, getting all introduced and he’s funny but a lil slimy as a first impression instead of an unbearable douche (that happens after a few weeks of working with him)
He meets Bill, he meets Paul, Davidson, Melissa, Charlotte, some tech and warehouse employees, and to welcome him to the office they all go out for coffee and he meets Emma, too.
When Ted wakes up to the same damn day he’s kind of annoyed that This was the day, because first of all- it almost HAD to be one of his new coworkers, and secondly, that would take for Fucking Ever to figure out. Spending each day dwelling on one person with the odds slim would mean he’d be replaying this day for a week.
So he does, getting more and more frustrated because he kissed Bill in the parking lot and it felt Real but no, he wakes up to his first day again.
And Charlotte feels so comfortable to vent about her marriage (probably because she’s had to find soulmates that are Not her husband on 3 seperate occasions before now) and Ted and her share a cigarette and hold hands and he is in love with giving himself up for tragedy so He thinks it has to Be Charlotte but it ISN’T
So it’s got to be the assistant. Melissa’s pretty, but Ted feels awkward just talking to her, about how she looks at him. He quickly decides that he does not want someone to be his soulmate cause they see their Dad in him, so he actually gives up halfway through the day and speedruns through Davidson and the I.T department, beginning to flirt- He actually gets in quite a bit of trouble, so he’s almost hoping to replay the day.
And he does. He’s almost visibly bored and upset as the day progresses, and that’s when Paul notices him. And some kind of fire lights when Paul Notices Him. Ted’s thinking this has to be it, but his thoughts still manage to wander even as he bonds with Paul. He actually tells Paul he’s trying to find his soulmate. Paul thinks its very sweet, and its so charming that Ted has admitted this after spending a whole day with him. And then He admits he’s had several repeat days in the span of the last year, and this is one of them. They’re both convinced, and in their excitement hook up at Pauls place.
Something hurts within Ted when he wakes up in his own bed. He remineces the three people who have made him feel like this, and how he already cares about each of them.
And he decides the world must be a sick cruel place after all, so instead of focusing at work he speaks to those he brushes by, every single one of them. Learns their names.
Nothing. He wakes up more frustrated than before, far earlier than he’s supposed to due to restless sleeping.
So Ted, at 5 am, with 2 hours to spare until work, goes to Beanies. And he finally really gets to meet Emma. Because who the hell else in hatchetfield is getting coffee at this local version of starbucks at 5:30? So Ted begins to think- hey. This is my soulmate. She’s my soulmate.
In a spur of sudden confidence he asks her on a date, actually. Well, It’s not a date. He offers to take her to a different establishment somewhere else and taste something better than coffee, and she agrees to meet him when she gets off.
And its Lovely. It really is. While Ted is pondering over Emma being his soulmate, he’s also pondering over the other 3 he’s fallen a little in love with. And he feels terrible about it. But this has to be it, right? She’s one of the last people he met on this day. They have firecracker chemistry. He kisses her at the door of her appartment complex and she writes her number on his wrist all cheeky with a signature. They make out at the door of her appartment complex, But it’s Ted who has to pull away and bid her goodnight when all he remembers is how Bill tasted in that parking lot.
He shakes the feeling as he walks home, only punching Emma’s number into his phone as he slips into bed. ‘Goodnight, princess.’
He’s barely concious when the response comes. ‘G’Night, asshole.’ He beams, plunging into a restful sleep.
Ted wakes up slowly, for the first time. He rubs his eyes and something feels off. Maybe that something means it’s a new day, right? He can’t help his sleepy smile as his eyes adjust, reaching for his phone. If Emma just broke him out of this hell, she certainly deserves a good morning.
And then he can’t find the conversation, which is weird, but maybe its cause he was too tired to give her a contact name. He looks to his arm for the digits
It takes about a minute for shock to dissolve into some kind of frustrated sadness. He always thought he didn’t deserve a soulmate, but he didn’t know an eternal first day at work would be the result of his self deprication.
But he gets up. He doesn’t know how, but theres still a little drive in him.
Ted’s been fueled by the lifetimes he thinks he’s lost.
So he goes to work. He chats up paul on break and gains his attention cause he knows how to now.
He talks with Charlotte at lunch, but instead of just holding her hand for comfort he admits that Sam sounds like an asshole, and she deserves someone who legitimately could fall in love with her. Every morning. Not just once. And this time they Kiss. And Ted’s delighted enough to decide if the day repeats he’s doing the exact same fucking thing for forever when they do.
Ted chats with Paul at the end of the day, and something drives Paul to kiss his cheek. Something very similar drives Ted to squeeze at his hand and double-check he has his number. It’s another moment he’ll revisit when he wakes up today, but for now he’s living in the current today when he spots Bill.
He tells Bill he’d love to get to know him, cause they’d be working so closely. He teases Bill about his dresshirt while he’s at it, and Ted’s delighted when a flustered Bill offers beanies. Because he’ll see Emma before she gets off.
And he hits on her, just to see how corny he can be and still land her number. Instead of in his wrist this time, Ted gets a scrible on his coffee cup. But it feels just as right, when he goes back and gives Bill his drink. “What, you said surprise you- it’s called a frappecino, Come on you’ll like it.”
And Bill and Ted are at beanies until closing. Ted listens, which is a new sensation, but he does. As Bill talks and asks for some kind of sympathy which Ted gives generously. Bill’s situation is shit. He wants nothing more than to help him out of it. He places his hand on Bill’s, and not even two minutes later Bill is walking out nervously, citing something about his daughter as he nervously puts his coat on
And this is really new. Ted didn’t know what he had done, honestly. He calls after him, manages to stop him in the parking lot. The sun is going down when he finally puts a hand on bills shoulder. “What- what’s wrong- We can really just forget it, I’m sorry, Bill i just-“ “I can’t- I just can’t-“ “can’t-what?” “You. Again.”
Ted’s left with some kind of shock in his stomach as Bill heads to his car. “Again?” He repeats, but Bill’s already got the doors shut and Ted Can’t Move.
He blows it. He can feel it, when he walks home. He doesn’t even bother texting Emma.
He goes to sleep, knowing what he’s going to wake up to. And gets ready like he did the very first time. Goes to work like he did the first time. Does everything like the first time, cause he knows they’ll all go to beanies.
He gets everyone their coffee, as in their favourite kind, without prompt, and asks very politely if Emma can take it to the table for them. He tips her 50 bucks, and assures the rest of them he’ll cover their bills.
They sit at a table and the other three try to get Ted caught up on work details or people he may not know enough about. He quiets them as their coffees come, and before Charlotte can ask him how he knew how much she liked chai lattes, he clears his throat and asks emma to just take a breath here.
“Alright. It’s my Fucking millionth time doing this day. And I have a theory. Paul, you mentioned something about multiple repeat days? No- not today, the second today.” He pressures, and all Paul can do is nod and blush, muting himself with his black coffee. “Good. Now, we’ve all been here before, haven’t we?” Ted’s eyes are on Bill now, who can’t hold the stare. Emmas transfixed now, nodding a little. “You know-“ “sshhhh, princess. I do know. Multiple soulmates exist. You typically pick the one you find first or the one closest to you- but look what happened, huh?”
“What happened?” Charlotte questions, and ted stands, grabbing for his iced latte and lookinh down. “Nothing, Charlotte. I just fell in love with all four of you. Because I think you’re all my soulmates.” Ted gets it out, looking over puzzled faces. “Damnit- it doesn’t matter, does it. Because either you’re not and I wake up today again, none of you remember, or you ARE all my soulmates, and tomorrow we talk that out. I’m exhausted, theres my number.” He points to the scrap paper on the table.
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He dismisses, and then He’s Gone.
He wakes up to 3 messages, but 1 comes up as he finally rises from bed.
‘Good morning, asshole.’
#GOD THAT WAS LONG#this one really delighted me#ccrpoly#tgwdlm#ted tgwdlm#get me a chai iced tea alright?! - ted#designated driver - bill#uhh fuck you? - emma#i dont like musicals - paul#cuddle night - charlotte#muse musings - asks
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Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)
11.09 PM Unknown Number
>I’m writing songs about you again.
11.20 PM Unknown Number
>its stiles btw.
>in case you deleted my number
>I did.
>I mean I deleted yours.
>but I still remember it apparently
11:41 PM Unknown Number
>I only have 2 lines so far
11:57 PM Unknown Number
>I bleed you from my veins.
>I grieve you like I love you.
>alone.
>its better with the chords.
>u were always better at writing lyrics than me
12:34 AM Unknown Number
>u were better everything than me
2:00 AM Unknown Number
>I hate that I miss you
2:07 AM Unknown Number
>do u want to hook up?
>I promise not to propose again
2:15 AM Unknown Number
>im sorry.
>ignore me.
>im drinking
Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.
What the hell is a Stiles?
2:17 AM Unknown Number
<I think you have the wrong number
>Lydia?
<no
>oh thank fuck
>I mean
>I’m sorry
>for disturbing ur sleep
>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this
>bullet dodged right?
>is this what near death experiences feel like?
<I wouldn’t know.
>of course
>hey
>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?
>all my friends are asleep
<probably because its 3am
<everyone’s asleep
>2.39
>and ur not
>asleep that is
>so?
>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead
>what do you think?
>of the lyrics
<im the wrong person to ask
>never experienced heartbreak?
<no
<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me
>oh
>yeah I guess it does
>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?
<do you want to be rupi kaur?
>sure
>not to be dramatic or anything
>but
>I want to be anyone but me
>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho
<regina spektor?
>singer/song writer
>shes my fucking inspiration
>her lyrics are like poetry to me
>you should listen to her music
<I dont really listen to music
>what the fuck?
>are you an alien?
<no?
>nice fucking try ET
>thats exactly what an alien would say
<…you got me there
>akdjfen
>is this you admitting I was right?
<no
<but this is me going to bed
<because its now 4AM
>already?
>fuck
>ive got an early start tomorrow
>good night random stranger
>and thanks
>for listening
>or reading ig
<good night
//
“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.
“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.
Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.
“Didn’t sleep well.”
Derek hated the look she gave him then.
The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.
“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.
“No.”
An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.
Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.
But this was enough.
It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.
//
2:40 PM Laura
>I’m here if you need to talk.
//
Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.
So instead he doodles.
Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.
Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.
But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.
//
10:18 PM Unknown Number
>I don’t remember it anymore
<You have the wrong number again
>No
>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?
<right
>So here’s the thing.
>I always thought if I needed to text her I could
>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk
>But I can’t remember it anymore
<Oh.
>I have some of her things still
>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now
>Unless she messages me first
<When did you two break up?
>Last year
>and I know what you’re thinking
>’it’s October’
>and I should be over her by now
>Trust me I know
>So you don’t need to lecture me
<I wasn’t going to
>Oh
<Stiles?
>That’s weird
<what is?
>I forgot I told you my name
<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.
>you’re right
>I don’t like it.
>but you’re right
>…thanks
<What for?
>for listening
>reading**
>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain
>so this is nice
<sure
<anytime
>dope
>no take backsies
<am I going to regret this?
>for definite
>you’re stuck with me now
//
That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.
//
Stiles keeps messaging after that.
Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.
Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.
He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.
//
Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.
He’s not above admitting he’s scared.
//
Derek draws Stiles sometimes.
More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.
Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.
The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.
//
They don’t always talk about Lydia.
Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.
Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.
Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.
Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.
And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.
//
2:02 AM Bad Poet
>sometimes I feel like too much
>and too little
>at the same time
>u ever feel like that ET?
<not really
>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless
>like a never ending echo
>or a recurring decimal
>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it
>I have no depth
<youre not meaningless
<you’re a rhythm.
<like breathing
>…
>was that a regina spektor reference?
<it might have been
>I thought you didn’t listen to music?
<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry
<so I thought I would check out a few songs
>well fuck
>what did you think?
<she’s good
>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong
<I still prefer poetry
>of course you do
Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.
Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.
//
10:30AM Bad Poet
<my sister bought me flower seeds
>I didn’t know you had a sister?
<she’s everything I have
>oh
<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow
>…with flower seeds?
<yes
>you sound extremely paranoid
>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?
<shut up
>noted.
>keep me posted on how your gardening goes
>also
>as a side note
>you know you have me too right?
>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you
<thanks
>anytime
//
On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.
She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.
Once their family had been so alive.
And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.
They both knew it.
Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.
He was too scared to ask.
//
That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.
And then several more followed.
//
1:14 AM Bad Poet
<seh haars me
>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again
>try spell checking before hitting send
<she.hates mee
>who?
<larn
>are you drunk?
<yeh
<tyongs ndrf
*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*
The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.
“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”
“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”
“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”
“Laura.”
“Who’s Laura?”
“My sister.”
“Oh.”
“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”
“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”
“She should. I can’t be fixed.”
“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”
Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.
“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”
Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.
“What?”
“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”
“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”
Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”
“Th-thanks.”
Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.
Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.
“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”
“Yeah.” Derek agrees.
“Goodnight bud.”
“Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.
I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.
“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.
“Stiles?”
Stiles hummed in answer.
“Your shape is beautiful too.”
A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”
//
7:50 AM Bad Poet
>how are you feeling today?
<better
>good <3
Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.
He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.
But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.
Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.
But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.
//
Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.
//
9:48 PM Bad Poet
>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?
>don’t feel like you need to say yes
>I just enjoyed talking to you
>and hearing your voice
>ugh.
>why are words so hard?
<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call
*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*
“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.
“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.
Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”
“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.
“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”
“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.
“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”
Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.
“It’s Derek.”
“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.
And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.
//
Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.
//
The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.
The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.
6:42 AM Bad Poet
>you need to talk to your sister
And Derek knows he’s right.
//
It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.
But he forces himself to take the dive.
“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.
Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”
“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.
If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.
If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…
There never would have been a fire.
Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.
“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”
“I might as well have.”
“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”
The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.
He found himself crying to.
“I’m so sorry, Der.”
Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.
They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.
//
He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.
He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.
“Hello?”
“No - Derek’s asleep.”
“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”
“Who is this?”
“Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Right.”
“Okay. Bye.”
Derek let sleep over take him once more.
//
2:29 AM Bad Poet
>sorry for calling so late
>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow
//
9:07 AM Bad Poet
<sorry, I was really tried
>no worries man
>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me
<was something wrong?
>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten
>im fine
>how are you?
<im good actually
<I spoke to Laura
>yeah?
>I’m proud of you
>how’d that go?
<we both cried
<a lot
<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch
>look at you, opening up and shit.
>think I might cry now
<shut up
>literally never
>better men have tried and failed to silence me
//
2:40 PM Laura
>Want to see a movie on Friday?
<sure
//
One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.
“Duhreek.”
“Doreck.”
“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”
“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.
“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.
Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.
“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.
He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.
“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”
//
Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.
//
He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.
He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.
He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.
He wants.
//
1:58 AM Bad Poet
>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?
>maybe not intentionally
>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know
>maybe we already have
Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.
<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?
<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you
>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)
<I think id still know
<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?
<of me
>dkfajd
>for reals?
>you would do that?
>you?
<well…not for free
>there’s always a catch
>what do you want?
>my soul?
>a blood debt?
>you can have whatever it is
<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too
<geez stiles
The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.
>I could do that
>a photo for a photo
>I kind of look like shit rn
>so no judging me
Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.
And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.
But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.
He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.
As he pressed send another photo came in.
Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.
His heart stopped.
Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.
But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.
>Fucking hell
>are you for real?
>you gave me a heart attack
>am I being catfished right now?
>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?
>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?
>Derek
>oh my god
>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit
>still there?
>did my selfie scare you away?
>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis
>Derek?
<still here
>of thank fuck
>so…
<so?
>come on
>your going to give me a complex
>the selfie…was it okay?
>I know it’s not much
>but we can’t all be greek gods
<its beautiful
<you’re beautiful, stiles
>oh
>thanks
//
Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.
//
9:49 AM Bad Poet
<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend
<this is all your fault
>how is this my fault?
<because she never wanted to introduce us before
<and then you got me to talk to my sister
<and now she wants me to meet him
>…and this is a bad thing?
<yes
>because?
<I don’t make good first impressions
<it’s going to be awkward
>yeah probably
<you’re not helpful
>I wasn’t trying to be ;)
>have fun, Derek!
//
Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.
Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.
But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.
Maybe not all change was bad.
//
Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.
“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”
“I know.”
God did Derek ever know.
But Stiles is different.
“Just…be careful.”
“I am being. I promise.”
Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”
“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”
“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”
Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.
//
Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.
‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.
A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.
//
It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.
She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.
“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.
“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.
“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.
It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.
Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”
Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.
No.
She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…
“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”
“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.
“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”
Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.
“It’s him.” He manages to get out.
“What are you talking about?”
“Laura. It’s him.”
It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.
“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”
“What?”
“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”
And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…
The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.
And it all falls apart.
//
It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.
11:08 PM Bad Poet
<you’re stiles stilinki
>fuck
(And yeah, it was really him).
>how did you find out?
<Laura
>I was going to tell you
<Were you?
>Yes
>I’ve wanted to for ages
>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up
<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner
>Me too
>I’m sorry
>Please don’t hate me
Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.
<I don’t
>Thank fuck
>seriously
>can I call you?
<sure
Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.
“Hey.”
“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.
“I believe you, Stiles.”
“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”
“Stiles.”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.
“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.
“What?”
“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”
“Stiles…”
“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”
Derek feels his heart break in two.
“Stiles…I can’t.”
“Oh.”
He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.
“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”
I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.
There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.
It was better for him to just… fall out of love.
//
6:17AM Laura
<it’s really him
>are you sure
<I’m sure
>what are you going to do?
<nothing
>Derek you’re in love with him
<I’m aware
<it doesn’t matter
<it wouldn’t ever work
>I’m sorry
<don’t be
<I’m going to be fine
>Im coming over with wine
//
That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.
When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.
//
He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.
Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.
He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.
//
He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.
It’s still not enough.
//
1:11 PM Bad Poet
>I wrote you a song
>I know you don’t listen to music
>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link
>bad poetry at 2:00am
The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.
“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”
The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.
When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.
He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.
//
3:00 PM Laura
>have you seen the video?
<he sent me a link
<he wrote a song for me Laura
<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me
>fuck
<what do I do?
>what do you want to do?
<I don’t know
>I think you should look at his twitter
<?
>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him
>but I think you need to see it
>@stilesstilinki
//
@stilesstilinski
I want to hug him
@stilesstilinski
Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything
@stilesstilinski
Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.
@stilesstilinski
He makes me want to write poetry
Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.
He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.
And Derek falls impossibly more in love.
He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.
And everything else?
It’s worth it.
Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.
//
2:00 AM Bad Poet
<so I looked at your twitter
>fuck.
>how much did you see?
<all of it
>tight
>please excuse me while I go die now
>bye
<don’t leave yet
<I had something I wanted to ask you
>did you want me to delete the tweets?
>I can do that
>I’ll just delete the whole account
>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem
>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy
>but I’m a close second
<stiles?
>yup?
<Will you go on a date with me?
>alkdjf
>yes?
>Ofc yes?
>are you being serious?
>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious
<I’m serious
>yes.
>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
>holy shit
>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you
>im so fucking in love with you
>is it too soon to say that?
>I don’t even care
>I’m speaking my truth
>you obviously don’t have to say it back
>im going to woo you so hard Derek
>you’ll have to love me back eventually
>I’m going to write you poetry
>hell I’ll even read poetry for you
>ill give the whole fucking moon to you
<why would I want the moon?
<im not gru?
>despicable me
>that was a despicable me reference.
>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?
>you’re such an enigma to me Derek
>god I love you so much
<stiles?
>too much?
<no
<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you
<I love you too stiles
<so much
<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up
<I might not be able to live up to it in real life
>impossible
<seriously stiles
>I am being serious
>I’m already in love with you Der
>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done
>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all
>and I would still be in love with you
>all you have to do now is show up
<…I can do that
>perfect
//
TWO YEARS LATER
@stilesstilinski
Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.
#sterek#eternal sterek#what am i even doing?#i just spent the last two days writing this and banging my head against the wall and nothing else#should i write this into a full fic one day?#i probably wont#hope you guys enjoy#sterek drabble#5k words of them being idiots#i cut so much out how is this still 5k?#stiles stilinki#derek hale#laura is the only other character that makes an appearance#im supposed to be sleeping#but here we are ig#texting#wrong number#celebrity stiles
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