#anyway this wasnt so much a good time as it was... i have to know if they get away with this.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
The Mistakes That Have Been Made
Part 2.5 (bonus for the people. I think you guys need some good soup, from moi <3)
Warnings!: Angst, angst, and more angst. Reader will be MAD sad for most of this. Poorly-practiced, unhealthy polyamory. Reader will experience a LOT of gender and body dysphoria over the course of this (though I will do my best to keep it gender-neutral throughout, bear with me), but there WILL be comfort over that.
The team dynamics of the 141 have always been messy, ugly things, but this is ugly. You wouldn't wish it on anyone, really.
When you'd walked back to your own room, you'd heard Soap railing the daylights out of Gaz, cussing your name beneath his breath as the other sergeant groaned, high and throaty.
As awful as this feels, at least he's not doing that to you.
Johnny's always been a bit of a... rough bed partner, you know that, he's so eager to get into the heat of it that he never gives himself the time to warm up or cool down. Tends to be so enthusiastic that he doesn't offer much aftercare before he falls asleep, either.
Still, walking past Gaz's room brings back memories of that nasty, sick feeling that follows every intimate experience you've ever had.
It's the feeling that your body is somehow wrong, too tight in some parts and too loose in others, like the very existence of your form is a contradiction that just can't stand a second longer.
The way you hold your laptop shifts, pressing the metal into your chest to somehow remedy this ill. How? You're not sure. It doesn't work very well.
You try to shake it off as you open your door and sit on your bed, but the moans still breach your walls.
God, since when did Gaz sound like that? It feels like it's choking the air out of the room.
You put your best effort toward minding your own business, but you felt like you were losing your mind a half-hour into that endeavor, and instead thumped your fist on the wall, loud enough to send the message. Learning how to sign and trying to ignore... that was simply not a feasible task.
The moaning and creaking stops shortly after, and the sigh you heave is like no others, though you know damn well those two will definitely be pissy with you tomorrow.
Finally.
Plastic buzzing against the "wood" of your nightstand (shitty plywood painted white, as is standard issue) draws your focus away from that, if only for a second.
Heyhey! Do u wanna train together tmrw?? I think you'd do good if you took it easy w/me 😊 <33
The rubber and plastic of your case isn't all that comfortable in your hands, but you hold the magical little glass box in your hands anyway, peering down at the screen before chuckling to yourself.
Why should I?
Is your reply. It doesn't strike you that it might have been a bit on the nose, or that Gary might have read it differently, until the text bubble appears and disappears several times in a row, and you re-read it.
Oh no, you sound like an absolute asshole.
Sorry. I do want to, I just wanted to tease.
He's typing for another few seconds, before the bubble disappears one more time, and it starts to make you panic. More than you want to be panicking over him.
Don't be mad please, I'm sorry. I want to train with you.
How the mighty have fallen.
Look at you, desperately prostrating yourself before a rookie because you're absolutely moronic, praying that he'll offer you a reply. Whatever happened to four times the love?
Fuck. Don't think about that.
im not mad, ur fine just thought you might be a little grouchy from the meds or smth, wasnt sure if i should ask
You breathe a real sigh of relief at the returned messages, already more than tired by the day, but slightly soothed as you look down at the blue light of the screen, and send your last message of the day.
I'll see you at 0630. Goodnight.
A little red heart appears over your message, in the top left corner of the rounded bubble.
You plug in your phone and try to ignore how something in your chest squeezes at being deemed worthy of making plans more than two hours in advance.
It's a shockingly new thing, but goodness does it feel good, even if it brings on a sting of a more somber feeling.
Gaz and Soap sure as fuck didn't do this. Ghost either. You never expected Price to do that for you in the first place. Did they just... not think you were enough to make plans for? Was this pity?
You try to shake off the feeling as you bunch your blankets around your body, allowing your tired form to sink into the mattress and rest. The morning will clear your thoughts.
First | Previous | Next
#tf 141 x reader#x reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#angst#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#x gn reader#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#john price#price x reader#gary roach sanderson#gary roach sanderson x reader#appendicitis#poorly practiced polyamory#sad
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
i giggled reading this btw... today i learned how pissed off i can get pricefielders
anyways... im not even gonna geti nto the first point because i cannot comprehend whatever the fuck ur saying so... 😭😭😭‼️‼️‼️
2. calling me a dumbass is so funny but anyways.. i get that they have their chemistry or whtv but its literally not like they NEED to get back together 😭😭😭😭😭 if anything id like it if they just stayed best friends.. b. reconnecting with chloe most likely would NOT help her move on from the past because chloe IS the past. (i mean seriously shes her ex have u ever felt a sapphic breakup that shit HURTS..) me wanting max to be able to move on from her past without chloe is not bias and actually comes from what i want to see in her character aka GROWTH.. i get she can grow with chloe but she can as easily grow by herself its not like being by yourself is inherently a bad thing LMFAO.. perchance her growing without chloe might be better.. the fact u went thru my posts like a fan flatters me but i promise you im not a d9 bootlicker i just enjoy double exposure like a regular person would.. also im a pricefielder, except i dont kiss dontnod's ass sooo.... there was zero "character assassination" for either of them in my opinion anyways. i think theyre both in character, max is still the socially awkward nerd but shes more confident and i think thats a great thing. chloe breaking up with max because of the fact she couldnt move on from arcadia bay is realistic of her and definitely shows her growth from her 19 year old self to her mid 20s self. i dont get why you want these characters to be one dimensional and stay stuck as the same person forever.. they were teenagers in lis1. they are going to grow and change thats life. also you pointing out that max broke space and time for chloe enforces my opinion that max is codependent on chloe. she doesnt care what it takes or even what happens to her she just wants chloe to be safe, and i dont really think thats HEALTHY.. but what do i know about healthy relationships...
3. i hope u realize i was half joking when i said it wasn't bias for safield.. like yeah i obviously have some bias but also its nkt completely unrealistic to hope that the next game focuses on the two main character's' relationship 😭😭😭😭 idk man i feel like ur going a little loopy..
4. again with the insults ijbol... i never said that actually i said that i would be happy IF that was the endings given.. i never said i wanted her to be attached to ANYONES hip 😭😭😭😭 and i quite literally said after that id rather her be by herself for a while WHICH AGAIN ISNT A BAD THING.
5. i dont know how u sat there, played all five episodes of lis1 and came out of there with the conclusion its about pricefield. if there wasnt any violence against young women committee by jefferson the game wouldnt have a plot. it wouldnt have a story.
mannn idk after reading allat im inclined to believe you wrote that seething, steam coming out of ur ears, whistling like a teapot because i didnt kiss dontnod's ass and actually have a mind of my own. the amount of delusion in that essay as well good lordddd 😭😭😭😭😭 this is my first and LAST time i respond to one of these bullshit responses cause ya'll spew so much shit out ur ass it baffles me how u guys actually think that...
this is probably going to be EXTREMELY controversial so i dont expect ANYONE to agree (please dont hate me 🙏🙏🙏‼️‼️‼️) but i REALLY DONT WNAT CHLOE BACK IN DE2. I HAVE REASONS!!!!!!!!
1. i think that it'll be viewed as a cash grab and like pricefield / chloe fans r never happy sooooo
2. if chloe and max were to get back together for some unforeseen reason i think that woukd ruin max's potential growth in de2 in my opinion. like i PERSONALLY think that her 'losing' chloe should help her move on from the past and should be portrayed as something that can help her move forward instead of dwelling on what could have been (as taylor swift once said, everything you lose is a step you take 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️)
3. i think she'd be so out of place and id rather have de2 focus on max and safi's relationship and this highkey sounds lkke bias because of my fixation but i PROMISE YOU its not.. mostly...
4. i think that max should grow by herself i really dont think she needs to be attached to chloe by the fucking hip.. like i would be so fucking ecstatic if you got to be with amanda/vinh/safi at the end of de2 but i think the most realistic ending would be for her to be by herself, not FOREVER, but for a good amount of time for her to be secure with being by herself because i personally think max is extremely codependent with chloe.. if .. that makes sense
#life is strange#wlw blog#safi fayyad#safi llewellyn fayyad#safield#life is strange double exposure#max caulfield#wlw#wlw post#sapphism#chloe price#pricefield#amberprice#life is strange before the storm
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
2024 art summary! it sure has been a year
#ever makes art#i bsky tweeted a bit but it feels weird talking there still so ill do my usual rambling into tags here :)c#i burned out super bad in the middle of this year for months where it felt like i couldnt draw anything good no matter how hard i tried#and the harder i tried the worst it felt - to the degree that i legitimately thought i wasnt going to be able to draw anything again#which sounds SO dramatic i know i know. but feelings arent always rational!!! and so many others things were going wrong at the same time#so it was strange putting together this year's art summary and realizing Huh. i did still have paintings to put in every space#that fear/anxiety spiral seems even sillier and more meaningless now that i have distance and proof of how irrational it was...#...but in reflection i'd like to think of it as proof that even when you feel at your worse it's worth it to keep trying...!!#after the Black Hole of Nothing i've been working every day on never ending doujin and xv anthology and orv sketchzine and merch#i can't say that i feel my artistic skills have like. improved or anything... but the passion i feel for the stories i read and#the stories i want to tell is still there!! and the happiness from getting to put form to those feelings large or small is worth it too#anyway......... lotta words to say tho i haven't posted much anymore and socmed is imploding and the world is dark#thank you very much for staying with me another year. i am - as ever - always grateful
340 notes
·
View notes
Text
was talking to my brother the other day after i rewatched dark phoenix and he was like 'why is everyone so mean to charles in this movie?? were they always this mean to him ?? is it cause he's bald now- he lost his pretty privilege??' and i fear i havent recovered
#xmen#xmen movies#dark phoenix#charles xavier#professor x#snap chats#LIKE HE'S RIGHT 1000% I JUST DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO SAY IT VLERKVJAKLJ#ANOTHER banger of a quote from my brother chat i screamed when he said that#adopting that into my belief system i fear#like really thinking on it they really did only start being especially rude after apocalypse im crying#dont quote me on that i have to rewatch apocalypse but as far as im aware. yeah 😭😭#and its SUCH a travesty cause i love how mcavoy looked in DP SO much he looks so good bald#like please if we were going to wrap up this era of xmen films why did we have to rerun DP#can we try again. please. i need him bald one more time in a movie i dont have to argue with myself i like#see DP wasnt the worst thing ever. probably. like scott got to do things again ..... and kurt .......#and the paris proposal. never forget that.#ALSO THE FUCKIN. 'no one cares charles' BIT ???? 97 ref'd that directly i know they did and i cheered#listen if they can ref the 'black leather suits' from the xmen movies i can believe they called back to that too <- delusional#anyway when james said thats the meanest thing erik could say/do to charles .... he was cooking ....#'thats the type of thing your wife/husband says' he was so right .... we know james never misses with the cherik takes tho#ok bye i have obligations that i need to complete so i can draw my favorite cue ball
179 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
290 notes
·
View notes
Text
YAY I GOT THIS DONE ON HIS BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAJIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND ALSO MAYBE SAVED MY LIFE. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS I DO LIKE YOU A LOT THOUGH
#hajime means so much to meeeeeee#hes the reason i started posting art online (not on tumblr at the time though)#so without him i wouldnt have made like. 80% of my friends#and i do not know where i would be without some of my friends ive met bc of that#like ive had some NASTY depressive episodes since then that im pretty sure i only made through because of them#hiii phantom specifically. looking at you. ilysm if you read this#anyways not to get so real on danganronpa art sdfvgfrde#sdr2 is one of my favorite games of all time like genuinely. it has a lot of sentimental value to me i guess#i was a big fan of the first game but i watched the anime (and several playthroughs) but sdr2 was the first dr game i acually played myself#i actually also watched the dr3 anime before i played sdr2?#and uh. so i went in completely spoiled for it#that being said i still absolutely adored hajime. maybe im basic but i always love protagonist characters#also johnny yong bosch's performance is so fucking good;;;; i cried at the end of the game and it wasnt even particularly sad#anyways. danganronpa was my first hyperfixation that i can remember and it was so meaningful to me. i dont know where id be without it#even if im not as interested in it now it still is really important#would i recommend it? i mean it depends. i think danganronpa is for a very specific kind of person which is the person i happen to be#ok no more tag rambling time to do normal art tags#doodles#danganronpa#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
Inquisitor!Brea is one of my favorite angsty AUs cause I can just SEE how the drama would unfold, especially being one of the universes where Kepler actually lives 0u0 certainly that has nothing to do with her speech bubble!
(Taglist + alternate hairstyle under the cut)
Taglist♡: @me-myself-and-my-fos @tiny-cloud-of-flowers @sunstar-of-the-north @dearly-beeloved @adoredbyalatus
@changeling-selfship @crushes-georg @cherry-bomb-ships @rosieaurora @rejaytionships @sunflawyer @in-true-blue-love
@tropicalgothships @little-miss-selfships @hotrodharts @cupiidzbow @frozenhi-chews @limey-self-inserts @candyheartedchy
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self insert community#self ship community#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars inquisitor#inquisitor oc#🌟 brea callisto 🌟#🪐 kepler quinn 🪐#i know hes not actually in this art but cmon AS IF IT WASNT OBVIOUS#i have SUCH A GOOD SCENARIO IN MY HEAD THAT HURTS SO MUCH 😭😭😭#i would make a comic and ive been good lately but im not THAT good#i need a little rest. especially since ive been kinda depressed lately :/#am i indulging in the angstiest of my aus bevause of that?? maybe#idk it just feels good when the ache is for story purposes#anyways YEAH in this au kepler escapes order 66 and brea DOESNT but she also doesnt die...#and yes rex is ALSO around for this au#thats a whole other can of worms that i wanna talk about too!!#imperial rex 0u0 but hes a spy!!#rex gets to be fulcrum this time hehe
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm just trying to make a timeline of Paradise Of Thorns for myself feel free to correct me if it sounds wrong. (Spoilers for the movie)
According to google it takes approximately 3-5 months to grow durian to ripe from when they first bloom, So the movie takes place roughly over 5 months if we go for the longest time.
Thongkam is a monk for about a month (again i just googled how long temple duties take and it said a month).
At the start when asked how long until the durians are ready to sell Thongkam says 4 months, so its been 1 month by himself before they move in.
And then I think when he gets back from being a monk, that's probably close to 4 months being done (he goes to do it 4 months in? based off 1 month by himself, 3 hospital visits )
Mae Saengs hospital visits are once a month, we only see 2, once at the start, and once when Thongkam buys her the wheelchair, but there is a third we don't see where Thongkam goes to sell the produce and tells them they have to take a taxi.
I think Jingna shows up around halfway through the second month.
The time between Sek and Thongkam finding their first durian bloom, getting married, Sek dying, and Seks funeral is unclear to me. I did think they got married, paid off the debt and Sek dying happened in a day but i think it'd make more sense to be like a week. (I thought a day cause Sek asks to marry and its like sunrise, then it cuts to them going to pay the debt, which i assume was already mostly paid off if they could do it this quickly, so like i assume Thongkam insisted on paying it that day instead of whenever he was scheduled to pay it, Sek leaves to do things, then comes back that night. But after trying to time line it i think a week or two sounds more realistic?)
So sometime within the first month all that happens, and then I've just been using the hospital visits to try and count how long each section takes.
-1 month alone/with sek -3 months with Mae Saeng, Mo and Jingna -1 month away at temple -1 month with Jingna (the durians arent fully done when he gets back so I'm adding 1 more month even though thats over 5)
I think Mo's wedding, and the rest of the ending all takes place on the same day/night. Also Sek / Thongkam been together 5+ years
Mo / Sek been together 20 years (?)
(Mo wanted to leave to work in bangkok 10 years ago but Sek convinced her to stay, so Thongkam/ Sek could be together more than 5 years as thats only how long hes been paying the debt?)
#tpot spoilers#tpot#the paradise of thorns#i think this works? but also i am really bad at telling how much time passes in movies which is why im trying to make my own timeline#like i know the hospital visits wont be the first of each month and the durians can vary its not a hard deadline on when they will be ripe#but i think this is a good basic idea of the time gone#thongkam isnt alone for that entire first month sek would still be alive for some of it i think#unless we are going with it all happened in a day#the 'sek leave to do things' the same day they get their deed and married how about thats also the day he has to take his mum to the hospit#and thats why it wasnt a big thing he left thongkam alone after just getting married and paying off his debt#like thongkams like yeah it makes sense we cant stay together all day he has to take his mum. i will not ask any more questions.#like i know its not what happened but it would make it so much easier#anyway i will probably try again to make it clearer but this is what im going off when i write a fic#i think sek/ thongkam worked together in another orchard before they started dating? i imagine it takes a while to convince someone#to pay off YOUR fathers debt#but also he did fall in love with Jingna and get married in like 4 months so#so im wanna say theyve been dating for maybe 6/7 years? but also thongkam doesnt have a great record so it could be like 4 months of dating#and then 5 years of the durian farm
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
the internet was cut off and i ran out of data so i asked my brother if i can connect to his hotspot and downloaded dol on my phone,,,,,,,,,
#were in the process of moving !!!!!!!!!! new apartment has wifi !!!!!!!!! but more importantly were not homeless !!!!!!!!!!!!!😭😭#my time completely cut off from everyone was very much like the pic LMAOAOA#dol was the only offline game i could think of that wasnt some dumbass puzzle game or something#i even play this shit in public cause i literally have nothing to do without internet except maybe look at my gallery for the 400th time#i turn off the combat animations tho so its just all text when im outside 😭like im brave but not THAT brave#but anyway its safe to say that im getting back into it again 🧍♀️#last time i played dol was before the pregnancy update and like knowing u can get pregnant now is scary#like what if im not prepared to take care of a fictional child#will i be a good mother?????????? i dont want to traumatize the kid and subject them to the horrors of the town like????????#im still like kind of early in + i still have yet to explore the other stuff i never did during my last playthrough so im pretty excited#also somehow course of temptation was still running in the browser i have opened on my chrome so yk..............#played a bit of that as well.........................#its so funny how every npc has names its insane and i love the phone thingy too#ok thats all i think#frambling...?
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery
(creature by half•alive)
(textless + timelapse below cut)
#yellowart#subnautica#i feel like the timelapse is kinda long but also this did take a long time to make#anyways. let me yap about the meanings of all the panels <3#'i am creation' -> the ocean being the source of life and where shit evolved from also a good way to sort of 'set the scene' for subnautica#'both haunted' -> GHOST leviathan; in the BONE fields#'and holy' -> this one was a bit trickier. debated about using the emperor but i knew i wanted to use her elsewhere#also debated hoverfish because its cute and well liked so i thought that would be funny for 'and holy'#also something something jesus walking on water also makes it fitting. in the end though i decided on a peeper with the enzyme trail#and i *tried* to make it loop over its head like a halo but idk how well that imagery came through. still mentioned it in the alt text tho.#'made in glory' -> was REALLY torn about this one. on the one hand i wanted to have like a picture of the code because something something#divine machine and it being made out of code making it inherently holy or something; but i wasnt sure if that would be too#'immersion breaking' since most of the stuff in this is like in game stuff i wasnt sure if acknowledging that it was a game would be#too much. my other idea was to draw a couple of creature eggs like a stalker egg and a spadefish egg or something; but in the end i just#went with the one that i personally thought was cooler so if you think it does feel out of place uhhhh sorry i guess lmao.#also yes that is code from the game. idk shit about programming i just think code shit is cool so i poked though a modding tutorial til i#found what it is they use to look at that shit and started poking around. its pretty cool tbh. anyways the specific part i chose for the#drawing was something under the peepers; i think its the bit that tells the enzyme peepers to do the enzyme stuff like the trail obviously#but also some other stuff. not 100% sure though like i said idk shit about this sort of thing but everything in there seems pretty well#labeled its kinda impressive. and very helpful for navigating even if you dont know shit lol.#anyways. 'even the depths of the night cannot blind me' -> blood kelp trench is i think one of the darkest biomes in the game#possibly THE darkest so i thought it would be fitting. probably my least favorite panel though i dont think i did a very good job#representing the area or representing the bloodvines :/#'when you guide me' -> sea emperor but more specifically her messages to the player telling you to 'come here'#'creature only' -> not sure how well i can articulate this but basically the idea of humans beig animals with animal needs to eat and drink#and the idea of being a part of the ecosystem. modern life tends to make us forget that sort of thing but id imagine for ryley being on the#planet would violently remind him of this with things trying to eat him while he has to try to eat things as well. being part of the food#web. 'creature only' because he is only a creature not non-essential systems maintenance chief; but a creature living in an environment and#trying to survive. or something like that. does that make any fucking sense to anyone besides me? whatever.#anyways yapping over 👍
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I HATEEEEE DYSPEXIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#so im driving some little dude to his appointment i left like super early incase n it turns out i was given an address to a fking House ?!?!#obviously he doesnt know the address cus hes just some lil dude so im like ringing up his guardians and#the one that actually goes to the hairstylist cant answer obs cus i had to take his son cus hes busy duh#BUT THAT MEANS IM JUST DRIVING AROUND SOME PLACE IDK TRYING TO FIND PLACES THAT LOOK LIKE HAIR#& when i find one im like uh does this barber sound familiar cus im not taking him to some random one#andlike omg and the entire time im playing music real loud trying not to cuss out in front of this little kid#like IM ALREADY SHIT WITH NAVIGATION. & THEN U GIVE ME THE WRONG ADDRESS AND IT'S RAINING#and he wants to go get an icecream afterwards n im sitting at the barber chatting it up#but i am like actually on the verge of a breakdown cus i made him late bcs i cant just figure shit out#like#it's just so fking frustrating like it makes me feel like a failed adult or smthing like#i AM GOOD. I AM GOOD AT DRIVING#once i know a place im good but if im lost it's like my brain is panicking too much#i have to look at the road and signs and places#like i turned at a green light and completely forhot it wasnt an arrow like i just saw green and went#like i couldve killed this little kidlike#IM GOING FUCKING CRAZY#and i dont want anyone to feel bad or like have to be extra cautious when they need me to drive or smthing#like im alrdy very frustrated with my stupid limitations like in general so like failure kinda just heightens it like#iURGHHH I HATE BEING IMPERFECT I CANT FKING STAND IT IDC IF THATS NARCISSISTIC N PRIDEFULNIDCC#it's better than being EMBARRASSED i HATE BEINGNEMBRASSING AGRGHHHHHH#anyways it's fking raining and it's dark . idek where im gonna take this kid bro like hes hungry#imma go on google YIPPEE#my best friend. google maps who i cant tell distances on so i either turn too soon or too late or rlly fking quick#Ii LOVE MY LIFEEE
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
not to reblog that one jo post but i am special hihi
#also you cant have deep friendships without being hurt sometimes#bc you are still connecting to other people(not yourself)and you will care for each other and need each other differently at times#bc you still live different lives and those thing then affect you differently#and you just won't meet each others needs all of the time#and its that feeling of love and hurt but as long as that hurt isnt like caused on purpose#or on sheer lack of care for you as a person#i dont know#my best friendships were the ones that made me feel all the range of my emotions#and i never regret coming back to them#and that is also why i never regretted (okay lies there was this one time but still mostly) cutting them off if i felt the need#and i dont think they ever regretted coming back to me when i wasnt the perfect friend#(which btw i hate ya novels so much for this bc id see friendships and always be jealous of how good friends some people were#and how they always knew to say the right thing and how i would want to be that kind of friend even tho those were written planned people)#but anyways i was gloating this is my gloating post lol#0 notes to me#this is so silly also pls dont take my friendship experience too seriously like i am not a looking up to person haha
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
there's something very satisfying about finishing a book in one day. this morning i knew nothing about you and now ive lived this whole thing with you. idk. it's interesting.
#was it the best book I've ever read? no. am i a little bit thinking of all the ways it could have been better? maybe#did my jaw drop at the end? sure did!#if it was a movie i would for sure watch it. though i wouldn't say enough happens for it to be a movie#i keep wanting to talk about books but idk. mostly im just here for a good time. and im not ashamed of that but also. idk.#anyway this wasnt so much a good time as it was... i have to know if they get away with this.#would anyone be interested in me talking about books? i dont have anyone irl to talk about them with#my sister occasionally but shes usually so busy she doesn't have time to read#which i totally get#and my childhood best friend doesnt keep in touch like that. so she's out.#and then i have no other friends irl sooooo#this has gone off on a tangent#book was fine#ks talks#ks has a book tag
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
sooo glad we live in the universe where twdgs4 was rewritten to be about saving the school instead of the original lis2-esque on the road each-episode-is-a-new-location plot. really dodged a bullet there
dont know if it was due to the cuts and collapsing work environment (no budget for all the assets needed) or what but the school plot is just like the perfect setting for her to end her story. and we really almost got a plot about her.... just trying to make it back to her original house? oof
#my biggest problem with lis2 is that being on the road made a lot of your choices essentially meaningless#like wheres the threat of consequence when you know youll be gone by the next episode anyway?#the kids were originally gonna kick them out permanently.......Nightmare Scenario#the plot of her trying to get back 'home' is so silly honestly like its Just nostalgia/fan bait. convince me otherwise you cant#it makes no sense....she lived right outside a major city... that place is Not safe anymore#it wasnt even safe when she left it 8 years ago girl why would you go back#her finding a place to MAKE a new home and having to fight for it? with a community of her peers who love and respect her? so much better#shes a community leader now :) of a bunch of kids living secretly in the woods just trying to make a safe home for themselves#in a hostile world that wants them dead#love that for her#shes been managing adults since she was 11 and even before that tried to be a voice of reason. at 8 years old. community leader makes sense#s4 is just so narratively sound to me for clems character that i cant believe there was ever any other direction they wanted to go in#every time im thinking about how good s4 is i remember what it almost was......... and i am so grateful we got what we did#not only do we live in the universe where s4 is about the school but we Also live in the universe where s4 was un-cancelled :) yay#shit makes me so happy man. i remember clem is living happily at ericsons and my day is Immediately improved#these little fictional bitches in my head giving me free serotonin on command#it speaks#twdg
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
tell us about ancient spanish?
Yeah!
so. In the beginning of my comic (I'm assuming you havent read it, if you have I'm sorry) the main character is getting established as sort of a "master bullshitter" and very lucky. He's not stupid, the reason he's alive is because he reads situations quickly and lies very well... and at this point my editor had been repeatedly treating him with this sort of bumbling idiot trope, so I was already a bit frustrated.
He's caught as a stowaway on a pirate ship, and is bullshitting a treasure hunt so the pirates keep him alive long enough that he could escape. So, he makes a fake treasure map in Spanish, hoping that the pirates won't know any... because if they can just kill him and take the map, they will. And one of them knows Spanish!
So, the joke I put in to resolve the situation (which I kept) was "but can you READ Spanish?" where he's banking on the pirate's illiteracy, and he lucks out because she can't read.
but my editor wanted him to say "but do you know... ancient spanish?" which makes no sense and isnt funny LMAO to me.
There were a lot of instances like this, but this is the one I remember the most because my editor like. argued with me on putting ancient spanish in there... It was a back and forth for a good bit.
#like. they can see the map. in his hands.#if she knows spanish and can read it. she will know he is lying#and they will kill him#it doesnt resolve the situation#and its also not funny. like. what the hell does ancient spanish even mean. its nothing.#like I would have much rather resolved the situation by no one knowing spanish.#cause that requires him to stay alive to read the map. which was his goal. this whole time...#so her joke wasnt funny. makes no sense like. historically. AND doesnt even address the situation.#like a good edit understands the intent of the situation.#she gave a lot of what I like to call 'lateral edits' where they dont fundamentally change a scene at all#but they dont really make anything better. like it's not getting worse but its not helping anything either?#but then she had some edits that made things worse...#so I would do some of the lateral ones to sort of appease her and then she wouldnt notice that I didnt do the ones that made thing worse#but this was in the very beginning so I was combatting all the things I didnt want to do. instead of just not doing them#I'm not even getting edits anymore at this point in my career LOL#my second editor was amazing. she was sometimes slow to understand the point of a scene but she offered some really amazing edits#my current editor does literally nothing#she has not given me one note. like literally not even one. she sort of offhandedly said “enjoying reading it!” like ok... great...#and then my first editor. well. ancient spanist LOL#there were a few things I said I fundamentally refuse to do and she kept. asking. me. to do them#one time I had to argue with her that I wouldnt make a joke making fun of hairy men??? like I like hairy men what the hell???#ANYWAYS. yeah. thats ancient spanish#tried to be short but all my jokes are like extremely contextual so its hard to get enough context for them to make sense
4 notes
·
View notes