#anyway mixed feelings!
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2024 reads / storygraph
Bang Bang Bodhisattva
mystery set in a near-future cyberpunk future
follows a trans hacker who does random gigs to get by, but is on the verge of losing her apartment
and an ex-cop PI who takes her along on jobs sometimes - and when they’re investigating his missing ex-best friend they find him murdered instead
along with her new crush mysteriously disappearing - she’s dragged in the middle of a mystery with few leads
trans polyamorous MC, ace MC
#Bang Bang Bodhisattva#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#This is interesting!#Some fun and interesting characters and I liked the platonic buddy comedy parent/child figures kind of vibe they had going on.#thank u lulu for mentioning this to me bc it was an ace character; which thought that was handled pretty well (if brief!).#Nice to see older ace characters.#I liked the near future cyberpunk dystopia - very easy to see how we could easily go from here to there#especially with the rise of fascism and tech bros currently..#I’ve seen review like wahh wahh outdated internet references but idk. have you seen gen z on the internet#people love to bring back that shit. I assumed it was meant to be ironically cringe?#While I do think the themes re: the antagonist’s identity (like theseus ship & cyborgs) are interesting; it feels a bit#uncomfortably close to some specific [identity related] tropes. And also felt a bit unmeshed with the rest of the story in general?#Like I feel like I would have enjoyed that as a narrative from that character’s POV but as a murder mystery murderer….idk.#It kinda starts conversations about cops and racism but doesn’t really go anywhere with all of them?#Other than I guess being clear how the systems are all terrible & a fair amount of police violence#anyway mixed feelings!
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LINKTOBER DAY 22, SEABED INN
Nothing like ending the adventure with a weird dream and manifesting a new spooky ring! Link’s too tired to wake Zelda for this one.
(That zora is a strange one, choosing to live near the sky. Have you heard? Rumors have it she even took one of the last zonai as a student.
I heard she taught it healing arts!
I heard she let it near the Sky Princess.
Oh no!
Didn’t she know the Zonai are cursed? Nothing ever goes right with their magic. That’s why they were taken by the malice.)
Interested in more of this au? Check out this masterpost (it all started when Zelda didn’t time travel back in time)
Want to see wips and character faces without Rauru’s brainfog getting in the way? Mayhaps you should check out my patreon :0
#critdraws#lonks diary#familiar familiar au#botw#zelda#link#loz#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#art#artists on tumblr#linktober#linktober 2024#totk#zora#botw zora#totk rauru#rauru#totk link#totk zelda#zora oc#water sage#sonia#loz comic#totk sonia#why yes that IS the water sage’s labratory thank you for asking#time was not kind to her or her home#rauru has mixed feelings about disappointing his mentor#jokes on him though. she could never#anyways yes sonia keeps the leaves fresh with her time magic and is enarmored since day one smh
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Liam was a boy, and then a man, who suffered so much trauma and pain. He was bullied as a child and then lived a nightmare that I think none of us can really imagine of having that triggering experience replicated on a literally global public scale. He became a man who inflicted trauma on others. He was an addict who was unable to find a way out of that disease, and now never will, but who was open and vulnerable about his struggles. He was an incredibly talented musician and artist and an absolutely integral part of one of the most important bands of a generation; his voice and songwriting and skill in the studio shaped every aspect of what One Direction became at their best. He loved that band and being a part of that experience with his whole being and would never have stopped celebrating what they meant to us and to the world. He had problems and did bad things; that doesn't mean he was a bad person who didn't deserve to be loved and helped to heal- everyone deserves that- and the fact that that's not something that can ever happen now is devastating. I was very distressed by many of his actions; and I cared deeply about this man I didn't know and wished for better for him than this outcome.
I'm so deeply, deeply SAD tonight. I'm sad for Liam, who will never now have the chance to look back on this hard time and reflect on how far he's come, and for Liam's family, for his parents and his sisters who loved and supported him so much, and for everyone in the 1D band family and circles. And I'm sad for us. It feels like nothing will ever be quite the same, and that's hard and sad and shocking. It's a special kind of doubled grief, to mourn the loss of the person, and also of what he meant to us in this strange world of parasocial fanning, for the real him and also for the version of him that we made up and attached so much meaning to and for the escape that brought us. For him, and also for the easy uncomplicated joy of listening to those beautiful songs from happier times, which might never feel the same again. For the other boys, who we love so much and wish we could shield from suffering and loss and pain. For our fellow fans, who we also worry about the impact of this on. Everything about this is terrible, and I am sending so much love out to all of you. We are not alone, and it's okay to feel complicated emotions and it's okay to mourn and it's okay to care about how it effects you and your life, whatever you're feeling- it's okay. We are here with you. We are 1D family.
#liam#is there any point to this? other people are saying plenty of things#maybe there are enough things#but idk#liam or liams team were the closest this blog every came to any of the boys... things happened more than once#that I was like oh shit they're reading these posts#it made me feel extra close to him and it made me feel like I wanted to say something#but he'll never check his mentions again now#whats the point#I'm just SAD#but here's one more post to add to the mix anyway. Liam you were difficult- but you were loved#you were bullied in a nearly unimaginable way but you were also loved on a scale that is nearly incomprehensible#anyway#hi everyone#miss you love you#this is an ot5 blog always#I may not always like or support the choices they make; but they are always family yk?
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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you#Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule#sleep soundly <3333#I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST toslee#I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me
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Relativity Falls!
Design Concepts (and my unnecessary thoughts):
Excuse the the colors, ig my apps are fighting.
I see Mabel finding success no matter what happens to her, but I really like the thought of her running an insane arts and crafts business in GF. Alternatively, if she fell in the portal, she'd come out acting confident as always, but she probably wouldn't realize how much the constant change and lack of family/stability wore her out until she settled back in. In either case, she's a bit cracked.
Dipper is investigative, but cracks easiest under stress and is not as inherently adventurous as Mabel or Ford- so the portal wouldn't treat him well. If he's not the one in the portal, he'd be into stargazing and real magic to share with people, while also warding tourists away from the dangerous stuff. In general, he'd be an unhappy adult if left to his own devices, lol.
Between Dipper and Mabel, I like Dipper being in the portal more. He's a great protagonist, but as a supporting cast member, he needs to be more insane to match the draw that is 'Mabel taking care of children,' ha. I also love the idea of there being no portal / some other looming threat for these two to struggle with (at least because Hirsche has made it clear that Dipper and Mabel are equally smart, and to me it seems like the portal would reopen way quicker with them), but I didn't plan on posting these and I don't know how my followers feel about me posting lore.
Stanford and Stanley:
Pretty much how they are in canon, but now they're in a setting where they can get over themselves, ha. They aren't quite as mature as Dipper and Mabel were at their age, but after coming to GF, they finally found other people to look out for them. Dipper could be a more emotionally available and level-headed role model (I think having people to take care of is calming for him in turn), and they'd both look up to Mabel as the peak of somebody who knows how to socialize.
Fiddleford:
He's a sweet, southern, farm-raised mechanical engineer just like in canon.
Idk why Fiddleford is in GF (visiting an unnamed grandparent?), but I really like his relationship with Ford in the journal. Following that thought, in this AU, he starts out more of Ford's friend than Stan's, and it's kind of a big deal. Unlike Dipper's arc on learning to be a kid, Stan and Ford clearly struggled a lot with interpersonal relationships / finding security outside of eachother, and that's what I think this AU could be about (it's great they realized they need each other in canon, but the part where they had no one else to turn to is also kinda crazy if you ask me).
Ford gets to meet another smart kid in a weird town, which helps him feel more normal. He has a better idea of what friendship is because of it, but also, since I can't imagine Dipper wanting an apprentice so young/vulnerable/impressionable or Mabel asking only one of the twins to stay- he'd have to come to terms with the fact that he can't live in his dream world forever. (Or maybe the apprenticeship comes from somewhere else, just because the conflict around going back to Glass Shard Beach at all, or sending Stan alone could be pretty good.)
On the flipside, I think Stan's initial jealousy of Ford and Fiddleford's friendship would force him to try finding his own friends / hobbies. I like the idea that he fails at first- and a lot- but Mabel notices his mounting frustration (which he is very keen on hiding), and her consistent and unorthodox support makes him realize he wasn't alone to begin with. He can be more open around her, which makes it easier to open up to others, and then he can make friends without having to pull any tricks. He probably starts with some animals, and then at least gets closer to Fiddleford anyways (I feel like they're both more practical than Ford and value human company more, so they'd bond easier once Stan gets over his personal hurdle).
Anyways- because that was way too much- Mabel's exes are a constant source of antagonists and Dipper is stressed about setting a good example.
(I was more of a Monster Falls fan back in the day, but I can't draw animals, lol)
#fanart#gravity falls#relativity falls#relativity au#mabel pines#dipper pines#stanford pines#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddauthor#(if you wish)#I wasn't planning on doing any AU fanart#but designing mabel was way too fun#damn i didn't even draw bill#oh well#i have mixed feelings and ideas for how he'd fit in anyways
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Yea...I ..hm
Mistakes on mistakes until.. Until I scratch a hole in my tablet because I can't stop drawing them👌
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Prowl#JazzProwl#I …….I’m on the chapter 7 and I honestly not so sure If I can tag Ricochet as Jazz anymore……………#who needs sleep anyway#the amount of serotonin this fic gives me is kinda insane#The amount of knowledge also lol#I learned the whole lot of new words haha#I'm stopping myself from spamming art#Ahahajfkfk#fic fanart#Upd: This was sitting in my drafts for half a day I'm on chapter 12 now#Ricochet is Jazz and I will die on that hill#I don't even have any evidence#I just feel it in my soul#*13#I#sigh#I mixed the numbers with another fic#bruh#it's chapter 13#momu fanart
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they’re back!! (drew this beforehand, now i’m deeply unwell)
#good omens#i have mixed feelings#anyways#my beautiful wives#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#krasnyel post#fanart#artist on tumblr#digital art
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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anyway i'm going to buck the trend here and say i specifically love these guys way more because of their teeny little arms and feet. ten out of ten design choice, very dainty and endearing
#flight rising#i also think it goes a long way towards de-cluttering their silhouette#which is sorely needed! these things have a lot of doodads!#i think i like all the design elements a lot. only thing i'm not sold on is the horn#still figuring out how to make it work with everything else they've got going on#anyway i really don't see the people complaining these don't feel like light dragons#they're long they're dainty they're vaguely insectoid#they have big horns and lots of frills. their antennae are shaped like filigree!#i think it's just that the art kinda undersells all these features because of how messy it is#okay that's probably the right mix of sugar and salt in the tags. aaand post#my sketches
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i’m quite fond of them
#my art#taco inanimate insanity#mepad inanimate insanity#ii taco#ii mepad#inanimate insanity#ii spoilers#inanimate insanity spoilers#ii 15 spoilers#ii 15#OUUUGHGGHHGHGHG. this episode. i told myself i wasn’t going to watch it because i don’t case much for ii anymore but i ended up watching-#-anyways. i have mixed feelings about the musical number. the vocals are… eh..??? but i love the instrumentals#ummm. love these two. this episode instantly made me obsessed with mepad
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gives the biggest of kisses to tsumugi fr their bday
#tsumugi aoba#natsume sakasaki#sora harukawa#switch enstars#ensemble stars#enstars#mixed feelings about this one but i already missed the timezone relevance in japan and i worked on it for too long to give up posting it#SO WE'RE CHOOSING TO IGNORE IT or i would have deleted it orz anyway happy switch family to cure the soul etc etc#sora attacked tsumugi the victim and natsume was a causality btw
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older designs for my specialest guy
#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga#hyuga neji#art#fanart#naruto#2024#i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile#the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you#anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not#under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought#i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married#2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable#when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable#3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions#are not fun as a concept#are they fun on purpose? no#but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose#and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute#but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto#thats my special recommendation from me to you
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yeah fortnite we bout to get down
#atsv#miguel ohara#spiderman 2099#spiderverse#miguel o'hara#miguel spiderverse#fanart#illustration#artists on tumblr#does the apostrophe even count in da tags.. ANYWAY. BEHOLD. MUSCLES#ive also been getting ripped actually i tore my shirt doing weights last week. mixed feelings#hate drawing miguel's stupid spider thingie but i used the lasso tool for the first time in my life... i get it now
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Atom would like to tell you something before he leaves for Bangkok. What is it, Atom?
MY LOVE MIX-UP | EP12
#my love mix up th#my love mix up#mlmu#fourth nattawat#atom#gemini norawit#lin nussara#my edits#mlmu th#my love mix up thailand#fourth was so good in this scene i literally cried with him#anyways#these are late af bc i spent the whole day shopping for furniture#and i ended up spending like 3.5k on like a new bed and stuff but damn my wallet's crying lol#also i feel like i unlearned how to gif bc why do my gifs look like this ;_;#mlmuedit
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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I SWEAR CELEBI'S THINGY IS COMING SOON BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS ALRIGHT
yeaah... future trio got me too...
and Darkrai is there too, because of course he is.
hey look i drew a cute Drifloon :D
...ignore the rest
whatever started at Darkrai doodles ended in brainrot of future trio + darkrai and I'm blaming @scribz-ag24 for this
#Can you believe between the first pic and the 4th pic is only a week inbetween. I sure can't but like why did I mirror the pose...#ON ACCIDENT??? Everytime I look at the two Grovyles I'm like... how... how did they end up so differently???#also probably blaming @cozybells as well for this but I really fear tagging people so I'm just letting y'all know in the tags because#I do wanna let everyone know who inspired me when someone did <333 better get running [you know who you are!!!!] DusnoirXDarkrai is next...#also: upon seeing scribz-ag24's art my brain said: You need to color too! ah yeah that went well with the doodle batch#I really hope you're able to read everything with how messy I can write sometimes. If not please let me know and I'll add sth in this post!#Also the doodle batch was the first thing I drew so well... never drew dusknoir before and grovyle once i think...#please go easy on me I have yet to explore the relationship between literally everyone😭 and I have no idea what I‘m doing and I'm a little#lost I normally only draw King Boo or Darkrai but I'm sure scribz-ag24 sprinkling in bits of Darkrai got me in love with the future trio to#grovyle#future trio#celebi#darkrai#dusknoir#pmd hero#pokemon#drifloon#totodile#my art#my stuff#tagas friend spoiler#pmd#pokemon mystery dungeon#IS THERE A SHIP NAME FOR FUTURE TRIO... there must be. ...oh... is it just...#futuretrioshipping#i feel sooo stupid rn.#also everytime i drew darkrai i had evil spiteful bastard in mind (except for the one with an arrow pointing out he's redeemed) but i think#i literally mixed every possible version of him in my head so got absolutely no clue what i'm doing :D#anyways i hope you enjoyed this and thanks for reading through my ramblings! Have such a wonderful rest of the day yippiee <333#pmd2
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