#anyway her character is so important to me

[bookstorethembo]

Fun story! I have a friend that I really wanted to be closer to for about a year after we met but before things were changing. One day this friend came out to their wife as trans and (I knew the wife first from work so the spouse was in my peripheral as someone who had similar interests to me and that kind of stressed me out a little), the wife encouraged her to come talk to me.

We read the same yuri manga and I never felt creeped out like I did with guys buying it and trying to talk to me about the characters.

We talked about art and really cool just like concepts.

((I had not gotten along so well with a straight cis het white man my age since probably middle school and I was very stressed about what it meant))

Then she told me one day what she had been struggling to say and I almost cried. She was so soft and I loved talking with her about the love stories we read and painting and the art world and just… yeah….

It all made sense. Like oh. Of course. This is why I got along so well with you!! I have somehow known all along lol

Anyway yeah.

Respect women.

They are important and smol and soft and fierce and wonderful and awe inspiring.

but would you love the trans woman even if she wasnt your on demand comedian and/or sex toy

[slxtarchive]

𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐄 𝐑𝐔𝐍 ꩜ 𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐇

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. you and your best friend billie had your monthly sleepover consisting of a movie night and slurpees… she might’ve slurped sum else too.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. no but inspired by a request i got for madz

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭. SMUT ! oral f!receiving, fingering, scissoring, talks of finding yourself kinda, confusing and conflicting feels, basically relatable content [ especially for me ] a little deep on this one.

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. the synopsis i cannot — anyway, this was inspired by a madz request i got! tried making a divider, i got the inspiration from pinterest [ click here to be added to my billie eilish taglist ]

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 3.6k.

“so i’m thinking like three different chips, maybe two candies and… slurpees?” billie smiled excitedly. “we have to go all out since we didn’t have a sleepover last month!! c’mon, ill pay.” she moved forward super close to you practically touching your nose.

you rolled your eyes moving forward as your foreheads touched narrowing your eyes. “okay.” you said, quietly laughing with a grin on your face.

you and billie have always been super close. you spent practically every day together and if it weren’t for your parents you’d have a sleepover every week.

most people at school thought you two were a bit too close but you both never gave your friendship a second thought, well, you didn’t give your friendship a second thought. billie though, growing up she found herself thinking about you as more than just a friend but she pushed that thought to the back of her mind with fear of messing with your friendship — which she would never put in jeopardy.

you grabbed your snacks and slushees deciding which ones to get. billie insisted you picked them all out before you headed back to her house.

this time you both were in the living room because her parents were out of town. so, you both set it up a little more dramatically than you usually would in her room. you brought the couch cushions together to make a makeshift bed with a bunch of fluffy blankets. then, billie brought out a bowl and platter for your chips and a spot to set down your slushees.

after a few minutes of setting everything up, you finally sat down and began to decide on a movie. “what are we feeling?” she questioned, scrolling through netflix.

you looked at the rows of movies showing up on the screen before something caught your eye. “fear street…” you read. “it’s horror, and — oo it’s a trilogy! fear street 1994, 1978, and 1666.” you looked toward her excitedly.

she pressed her lips together trying to stifle a laugh. “so i’m guessing your choice is that one?" she hovered over the movie.

you nodded, "yeah we can watch all three. movie marathon!" you sang out.

she obliged putting on the first movie of the trilogy. throughout the movie it was good, you both commented on how crazy the storyline was and how cute the main characters were until one particular scene came about.

you sat on the couch legs crisscrossed practically mesmerized by the scene before you. you became overly aware of billie’s shoulder next to yours, the room heating up around you.

the scene was short but it still clouded your mind for the rest of the movie — your thoughts running a mile a minute.

by the time the second movie was wrapping up, you felt the energy in the room shift. the air felt charged somehow — heavy — with something unspoken.

the third movie started, bringing its scene to the start of the storyline all the way back in 1666. two girls who both had a secret attraction to each other but couldn’t act on it because of the views of their village.

you felt for the girls, in a way that you didn’t know you could feel. the scenes continued and as more scenes passed — the more the story made sense. every scene was important but there was one particular scene that stuck with you even more.

your fingers toyed with the edge of the blanket that covered your and billie’s legs as the scene unfolded. the two girls had gone out into the empty woods together after a fight had broken out. you didn’t pay much attention to the dialogue of the interaction — you paid more to the energy shift between them.

you eyes were fixed on the screen as the two girls, deena and sam, shared an emotional and deeply tender moment.

your breathing hitched and your chest tightened, a strange warmth spreading through you that you couldn’t explain. you had seen many romantic scenes before — but this one felt… different. it felt so real. it felt like something you couldn’t tear your eyes away from.

what pulled your eyes away from the screen was when you moved your gaze over to billie, whose face was lit by the glow of the tv screen. her expression was unreadable, her lips slightly parted, her focus locked on the screen. you quickly turned your head back moving your eyes away from her, your cheeks flushed.

by the time the movie ended, you couldn’t sit still. your mind was racing and your body was tense. the silence between you both was deafening, interrupted by the ending credits song starting.

billie finally broke the quiet. “that was so good! holy shit.” she smiled, before looking at you.

you cleared your throat a bit trying to shake the thoughts from your brain. “yeah.” you whispered, your voice not sounding too convincing.

billie noticed the shift in your energy quicker than anything. she moved her posture to face you before speaking up. “you okay? you’ve been quiet since—” she stopped herself, before softening her gaze. “since that scene.”

you stiffened, your fingers twisting the blanket with anxiousness. “i’m fine.”

she tilted her head, unconvinced. “yn.” she knew you better than anyone in the world including your parents and yourself.

you sighed, knowing exactly what she was thinking. your chest rose and fell unevenly. “it’s stupid.” you mumbled, bringing your knees up to your chest.

“it’s not stupid if it’s bothering you yn.” billie’s eyebrows furrowed.

you hesitated, your throat feeling dry. “it’s just… that scene. it made me feel… weird? i… don’t know why. it’s like… it hit me in a way i wasn’t expecting, and now i can’t stop thinking about it.”

billie stayed quiet in response to your confession. her eyes scanned your face searching for some kind of telling.

you noticed the longing stare she gave you. “it’s not just the scene…” you whispered, your heart twisting and churning. “it’s you..” you confessed in realization. “sitting here with you i—” you stopped yourself, not wanting to say things you might not know the truth of.

you shook your head trying to take a deep breath to calm yourself down. you swallowed harshly, “i don’t know what’s happening to me, bils.” you admitted.

billie’s heart pounded as the air surrounding her became thick. she found the courage to reach her hand out toward you, brushing your hand. “you’re not alone.” she said softly.

you looked up, your eyes searching hers. “what do you mean?”

billie took in a shaky deep breath. “i… i felt it too — during that scene.” she bit her lip nervously. “and i have felt it before, with you.” she looked you into your eyes.

your heart practically stopped right then and there. you wanted to speak but you felt like all the words you thought of and wanted to say, that they couldn’t make their way out of your mouth.

billie spoke up, noticing the trouble you had been having. “i would’ve said something but i’ve just been too scared to say anything because i don’t know if you’d… if you’d feel the same.”

your breathing hitched, your pulse roared in your ears. “you’ve felt… felt it?”

billie nodded avoiding eye contact with you, “yeah. and it’s confusing and scary, and it feels like my chest is about to explode every time i try n think about it. but…” she stuttered her hand running through her hair, “but it also feels good. like it just — just makes sense.” she finally looked up to look into your eyes.

the space between you both felt smaller now, the air filling with tension. your gaze flicked to billie’s lips, then back to her eyes. “i don’t know what to do with this feeling…” you whispered with a conflicting feeling.

her hand moved to cup your cheek, her thumb softly brushing against it — the touch sending electricity through your veins. “we don’t have to know. not right now, okay? we can just… feel.”

you leaned into her touch instinctively, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure she could hear it. slowly, billie found her forehead pressing against yours, your breaths mingling in the quiet.

the moment hung there, suspended, until you tilted your head, your lips brushing against hers. the kiss was soft, tentative, their movements slow as you both felt your way through this unfamiliar territory.

billie’s hand slid to the back of your neck, her fingers tangling their way through your hair. your hand gripped the blanket over them before hesitantly moving to rest on her waist, pulling her closer.

you felt the kiss deepen, not rushed but full of quiet intensity, a mixture of nervousness and something unspoken that somehow had always been there, waiting to rise up to the surface.

when you both pulled away, you stayed close to each other — your noses brushing together and breaths shaky.

“is this okay?” billie whispered up against your lips.

you nodded, your fingers brushing against her side. “yeah, it’s… it’s more than okay.” you licked your bottom lip moving closer.

she nodded, building up the courage to kiss you once more but stood there admiring the way you looked angelic in the tv glow.

your eyes moved all over her face before you made the move to kiss her. your lips molded with each other softly and passionately with more need this time.

you liked it. the feeling of her lips on yours. your skin touching hers. it felt so good — so right. you could taste the faint flavor of cherry from the slurpee on her tongue as the kiss became more hungry. she slipped her tongue into your mouth again before she pushed you onto your back. she then straddled you still never letting your lips disconnect.

you felt hot and needy in between your legs and felt the same thing between hers. the small gasps that came from your mouth showed billie that you enjoyed what was happening but she still wanted to your thoughts on what she wanted to do next.

her hands moved from your face all the way down to your chest then your lower stomach. “we’re just feeling right?” she gulped, out of breath.

you didn’t register what she meant but responded with a slow nod. “mmm — yeah? yeah… we are.”

she took another deep slow breath before moving down your lap and moving her hands to the waistband of your shorts. “and if you like… what i’m doing — i could keep going. if you don’t, i could stop.” you still didn’t get what was going on until she trailed her fingers inside a bit, beneath your underwear as well.

you took a deep breath leaning back on your elbows trying to calm down. your mind immediately went to the movie scene, the way you felt — the way it made your body feel. you felt needy for that in the moment. the way you felt all uncomfortable but a good uncomfortable, as if there was an itch you wanted to scratch. that’s exactly how you felt right now with billie making a move toward that kind of thing.

just to be sure you wanted to ask. “stop… stop what exactly?” you questioned, still looking down at her.

she smiled softly before tugging down your shorts a bit. “just… stop me from tasting you.” she still pulled down your shorts slowly looking up at you waiting for your response.

the only response you had, had to do with your body. the fact that you nodded while wanting to clench your thighs and soothe that feeling down there showed you that this is what you wanted. your only worry would be that this would change everything, something you didn’t want to happen but at this point — you couldn’t stop yourself.

she pulled your shorts down before taking them fully off leaving you in your underwear. she noticed the damp spot in between your legs. “you’re sure?” she asked, her tongue touching her lower lip.

your chest moved up and down as you tried to build the courage. you let out a breath, “yeah, i’m… i’m sure.”

she nodded before moving to take off your underwear. she tugged them down the same she did with the shorts and tossed them to the side giving you a full view of your pussy. you felt exposed and quite nervous so you closed your thighs. she giggled shortly, bringing her hands up to keep them from closing. “it’s okay..” she whispered through the low light.

she moved your legs away from each other so she could see you again and moved her head down. your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest when you felt her give one lick. your body reacted instantly as your back arched slightly and your breathing stopped abruptly. she looked up at you before taking another lick — the eye contact doing something insane to you.

she slowly got more comfortable with it starting to suck softly on your clit. your hand found its way to her hair tugging on it and trying to pull her closer. “fuck—” you moaned as her tongue dipped into your entrance then brought your slick up to your clit.

she sucked and moved her tongue around picking up her pace before speaking up. “tell me if… if it feels good. tell me what feels good. wanna make you feel good.” she blabbered taking your clit again into your mouth and sucking on it harshly.

“that — that feels really fucking good. i’m… oh fuck bils.” you moved the hair out of her face again to see her actions on your clit. “yeah, jus’ like that…” you moaned throwing your head back.

she nodded against your pussy harshly pushing her tongue on you. the mix of her saliva and your arousal adding to the squelching wet sounds.

she brought her fingers up to slowly inch inside you providing more feeling and pleasure. she hummed against your clit as her fingers thrust inside of you. you couldn’t help but move your hips up to meet her tongue, practically trying to ride her. your eyes clenched shut, “fuck billie… i feel so — oh fuck..” you couldn’t get your words out.

billie felt you getting closer and closer wanting to bring you to that state of ecstasy. she licked, sucked, and slurped everything up before letting it fall onto your clit and doing it all over again until you came undone on her tongue.

you tried to catch your breath as billie brought her face away from you and up to face you, her hand wiping your slick from her chin. she licked her lips, “so… did you— did you like that?” she asked, shy and nervous.

your eyes were filled with lust as you responded. “mhm — i… i loved it.” you nodded before getting on your knees in front of her and taking her hands in yours. “let me make you feel good too?” you looked at her lips before leaning forward and capturing them in a kiss.

she whimpered against your lips as she felt your hands touch her waist. billie couldn’t wait for you to take off her clothes so she did it for you, removing both her shorts and underwear leaving you both bottomless. “i… can we try something?”

you were practically hypnotized by her so you nodded eager to hear what she had to say.

she sat back against the couch armrest with her legs wide open. she touched herself a little bringing the arousal from her entrance to her clit. “want you to… rub yourself on me, please.” you gulped, trying to figure out how exactly she wanted you to do it. “you just—” she started sitting up and pulling you closer. “put this leg over mine and rub yourself onto me.” she tapped your right leg. “do you want me to show you first?”

you nodded pressing your lips together not wanting to do anything wrong. she obliged your request pushing you back onto you laying flat on the couch. your head wasn’t elevated or anything so it was hard to see what she was doing but you felt her lift your right leg up and push it back against your chest, then she made her way on top of you. before you knew it, she placed her own pussy on yours.

she fixed herself so she was right on top of you then started moving slowly. your mouth fell open at this new sensation. you looked up to find billie already staring at you. “how does it feel?”

you poked your tongue. “it feels really good.” your head moved back as your eyes fluttered shut. you felt so hot and sweaty, you wondered if it’d be okay to take off your shirt. you felt your adrenaline take over so you decided to do it anyway. you took it off and tossed it off the couch before unclasping your bra and doing the same with it as well leaving you topless.

billie’s moved her hips faster and harsher upon seeing you feel more comfortable with her. she decided to avoid making you feel alone she took off her own shirt and bra leaving her in her bare skin. your hands rested on her hips trying to push her to move faster. “please, faster bils. feels so good..” you whined softly.

billie nodded. “c’mon, you try.” she said lying down on her back. you felt that feeling of edge simmer so you hurriedly tried to move your legs mirroring what billie was doing. you looked at her for reassurance as you moved your legs over hers. “yeah, that’s good.” she nodded.

you brought yourself down pushing over her trying to find that specific spot that made your legs feel like jelly. you looked at billie trying to read her expression as a way to help you that you found her sweet spot too. she bit her lip moving her hair away from her face. she hummed with pleasure as you moved your pussy over a particular spot.

you smiled lightly, trying to repeat that action over that same spot. “yeah yn, just like that, please.” she moaned resting her hands on your hips. “such a pretty girl.” she purred, her face contorting as you grinded over her own pussy. the wetness in between making the smallest noises. that feeling you felt earlier was coming back almost becoming too much.

your hand rested over her leg that was off to the side and resting against the side of her chest. you moved with passionate eyes on that amazing feeling that was coursing up through you. “oh shit bils… i’m — i’m gonna cum.” you cried out, the pleasure blinding you.

she moved her head to the side clenching the couch. “me too yn… fuck — keep moving like that, please. jus like that.”

desperate spurts of moans escaped your throat as you kept your hips moving faster and harsher. you were right there you just needed a little push.

you looked down at billie to see her eyes fluttered closed with her lip between her teeth. that look on her face, the fact that it was you that was making her feel this good brought you right where you needed. you felt that feeling spread from your pussy throughout your whole body. “shit— i’m cumming!” you cried out.

billie only responded with a low guttural moan, grabbing onto your thighs as she came undone beneath you as well. her thighs shook as she cried out head thrown back against the couch with a blinding wave of pleasure crashing through her.

after the minute of whimpers and whines had passed, you had collapsed on top of billie, breathless and exhausted.

you didn’t know what to say. you both were a bit quiet for a moment before billie spoke up, breaking the silence. “this changes things, right?” her voice was barely above a whisper.

you nodded slowly, “yeah.” swallowing harshly you continued. “but i don’t think it’s a bad thing.” you admitted, mostly to yourself.

billie nodded, “it’s not.” her quiet voice was so soft. “it just feels different.” her thumb rubbing circles over your skin.

you agreed, your nerves still swarming inside you but billie was able to calm you down. “yeah, it is different.” you moved the blanket so that it covered you both, your naked skin in contact with hers.

billie shifted slightly still feeling unsettled. her movement was slow like she didn’t want to freak you out or startle you. she reached for your hand lacing them together, “are you okay?”

you hesitated, your eyes dropping to your intertwined hands. “i think so… it’s just a lot. i didn’t expect this y’know? i mean, i’ve always felt close to you but this — it’s new and kinda scary.”

billie gave your hand a gentle squeeze. “it’s scary for me too.” she admitted. “but that’s okay because we don’t have to have all the answers right now.”

you looked up and made eye contact with her finally seeing her face in full. “you make it sound so easy.” you whispered, feeling her so close.

she chuckled cuddling closer to you. “its not simple but if we have each other and we promise to always be there and be honest with each other, we’ll be okay.” her hand rested on your cheek.

you nodded leaning into her soft touch. “one step at a time.” you stated.

billie smiled. “exactly, so first step, how about we finish these snacks and instead make this a date? another movie?”

you looked in between her eyes before nodding. “i’d definitely like that.” you spoke softly. in response, she leaned down and pecked your lips softly.

© 𝐬𝐥𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞

[aangelinakii]

JUSTICE LEAGUE AS GIRL PARENTS.

characters written about in this piece : bruce wayne, clark kent, diana prince, barry allen, oliver queen

note : when i tell you this is the cutest freaking idea

requested !!

BRUCE WAYNE.

when she's first born, bruce holds his little girl like he's got the whole world in his hands; so delicate, he can morph it however he wants — but he knows she's his first chance to not mess up. he has had adopted sons and daughters, but this daughter is his. like damian, she shares the wayne name. he's just in awe, wrapped completely around her fingers. don't leave him alone with her for too long, because he WILL sit down and have a tea party with all her stuffies and get insanely immersed in it. when she begins to ask for things, he'll get them in an instant, but will still be conscious as to not raise a spoiled child so he'll hold back for a few days or weeks.... and then bam !! "i have a surprise for you, my little dolly" and she just comes in super nervous but excited, and he's got the stuffed kitty cat she saw in a shop window the other day

CLARK KENT.

please don't even get me started. clark would be so emotional because what do you mean this is his own flesh and blood ??? he's come so far from his home planet, and it feels so real that he's having a daughter. because of this he would feel she is just god sent, and treat her as if she was. he's a very soft man with his daughter, never too harsh or loud, never heavy-handed. his daughter deserves the very best, the very kindest version of him. he's the dad that lets his face be used as a canvas for makeup or face paint (and he wouldn't rather be anywhere else, he's quite happy his face being used for the sake of art). for the times his partner isn't around, he also learns how to do his daughter's hair because he thinks it's important she can be happy with how she looks even when it's with him... but he's not very good anyway

DIANA PRINCE.

oh when i say she would be the best girl mum. she grew up surrounded by women, she has a natural instinct for these things, to be nurturing but not over-protective; loving but not smothering. she'd want her daughter to learn things on her own, like the consequences of her actions and be a little tough love like that, but other than that, diana would be the best play buddy. she's super active so she'd have no problem giving her partner a bit of childcare break; maybe the 2 am wake-ups are a bit of a nuisance, but diana can handle it best. knowing her own strength, she would be so so careful with her little girl, wanting her to know only a kind hand.

BARRY ALLEN.

such a dad joke type. does the whole "hi hungry i'm dad" almost every time, but then he almost got a kitchen knife thrown at him once so he stopped. i think when his daughter is first born he's quite nervous, because he's a man, he doesn't know the first thing about being a woman and doesn't want to mess his daughter up for it. soon he learns it's not so difficult, but it's definitely on his mind as she gets older. barry is the definition of dad music, like he gets her into all these bands he grew up with, and gets her into his generation's films,, and he would take her out and get her to experience the world. it also helps that he's the fastest man in the world, so he could take her anywhere anytime she likes. would never miss a dance recital or band performance, or sports game, depending on any extra-curricular activity she does,, but i just know he'd be the best supportive dad.

OLIVER QUEEN.

ollie is a confident man, but even he feels a wave of nerves at the birth of his daughter. he wants to be perfect, a role model; but, now with this bundle of heart in his hands, he begins to second-guess himself, wonder if he can even do it. at times i think he could be distant in his doubts, but when he's present, holding her hand as she walks on half-walls, tying her hair back when eating messy food or finger painting, he's the best dad a little girl could ask for. i could see him being slightly over protective as she gets older, especially with boys or with bullies or bad friends. he'd never do anything she didn't want him to, but trust me ollie would have no issue having a go at someone who hurts the one he's most proud of. gives the best hugs and, with a squeeze on the shoulder, reminds her she's all he lives for.

[barblaz-arts]

Hi! :) Back when viv was still developing hazbin and making speed draws, she would often draw art of vaggie with these unique eyes surrounding and staring at her, and the art would display vaggie feeling annoyed or uneasy. I find it still very interesting and was wondering if these were eyes that represented all the demons she killed and her guilt? or had to do with something else entirely. We’re still not completely sure if these are still present in current hazbin rn but I was curious on what your take, theories and over all thoughts are on it! Love your comics and AUs on Chaggie sm and can’t wait to see more!

Oh yeah that! I always did find that pretty neat when it came to her earlier arts. Even more interesting, is that this concept was carried over even in one of her trading cards.

I think the eyes are meant to represent a lot of things tbh, especially since eyes in the show had been associated with both Heaven and Hell.

Let's look at Hell's side first.

Your interpretation about the eyes being the demons she killed I think is one of the things it's supposed to mean. I don't know the source, so I dont consider this info canon, but I found out somewhere that the eyes that can be seen all over Hell is supposed to be what remains of the demons the Exorcists have killed. Like being cleansed by angelic steel can't completely erase them but simply make them part of Hell, if no longer sentient.

I have my doubts though, because in the intro backstory, the eyes seem to have already been in Hell before the Exterminations began.

And in the intro, the eyes showed up specifically after Charlie talked about Sin worming its way to humanity because of what Lilith and Lucifer convinced Eve to do. If this timing is in any way relevant, the eyes could be related to Roo aka The Root of Evil instead.

I'm not sure if other characters were drawn with these disembodied eyes as much as Vaggie has been. But at the very least, I think Vaggie's the one drawn the most often with them.

Anyways, considering all this, the more obvious and plausible answer could be that the eyes was just Vivzie's way of foreshadowing her guilt over Exterminating demons. But if Vaggie can be allowed to be more involved with the biggest bad of the show in a more direct way than just her close proximity with the main protag, then maybe it's even meant to foreshadow even more than we already know. I don't have a lot of hope for this tbh. It's not like Vaggie was a very important angel. Exorcists gave me the impression that they could be pretty low in Heaven's hierarchy. So like, idk why this could foreshadow a connection with Roo, but it is a super interesting thought to entertain lol

Now on Heaven's side though, the eyes could also just be for a touch of tragic irony I guess. Angels in the old testament looked a lot closer to this...

... Lotsa eyes and shit. And that's why the seraphs like Lucifer, Sera, and Emily could manifest multiple extra eyes in their "true forms".

But Vaggie was stripped away of everything that physically made her an angel. Lute took away her wings, halo, and even one of her goddamned eyes. Ain't it ironic that she has only one eye when the most powerful angels have been shown with a whole dang lot? Seems to me like it was another cruel way of Lute's to show that Vaggie "has no place in Heaven". And the eyes haunting Vaggie could be a manifestation of her thoughts of it being true.

So to tie this all together(except for the Roo thing), you're right. It could be the guilt over what she did to Hell's denizens. But it could also be an ironic, symbolic reminder that she was an exile of Heaven.

[rhineposting]

hi just dropping in to say that literally everything about her design is gooner bait, down to her hairstyle which was very specific to edo period high rank prostitutes. cheers.

[jinxedshapeshifter]

Why Kristoph Gavin Is Like That: An Essay

Alright so common sentiments I've seen regarding Kristoph are "Why is he like that" and "I want to study him in a lab" and I am a psychology nerd, so I decided to analyze Kristoph. Obligatory disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. Wanting to analyze Kristoph's behavior may or may not have gotten me interested in criminal and forensic psychology but I am not a psychologist. I am simply a guy who likes to psychoanalyze fictional characters from the most clinical perspective I can get to without actually being a psychologist. So let's begin.

Part 1: Diagnosing Kristoph Gavin

The thing about Kristoph is I think to fundamentally understand him, you need to diagnose him. In fact, I haven't posted my analysis of Kristoph's black Psyche-Locks because of it. As I said, I'm not a psychologist, but I do enjoy looking through the DSM-5 every once in a while, so I'm going off of that.

When you first look at Kristoph's behavior, you would (understandably) say he's a narcissist. From a purely colloquial perspective, this is absolutely true. However, I also think he very likely has narcissistic personality disorder. To be completely clear, I don't think his behavior is inherently a result of this. I think his behavior is a result of realizing he has a problem (even if he doesn't realize it's narcissism, he does acknowledge that he's fucked up because the reason he gives for killing Zak is "I am an evil human being") and not bothering to get help for it. In fact I'd argue he embraces it. So let's go through the DSM-5's diagnostic criteria for NPD (I don't need to explain where most of these are applicable but I'm going to anyway).

Criterion 1: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) - While I don't personally think the examples provided by the DSM-5 are reflective of Kristoph's behavior (although I think an argument could be made about him exaggerating his achievements, depending on if you think he was forging evidence before the Gramarye trial, which I personally do but I'll get into that later) I absolutely think he has a grandiose sense of self-importance because he canonically has a god complex, which is implied to be why he became a defense attorney; by doing that, he made people depend on him and literally had people's lives in his hands.

Criterion 2: Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love - I don't really know exactly how applicable this is, and it might've been more applicable when he was younger. However, he was so determined to get a win over Klavier in Klavier's first trial to forge evidence over it, so there's something to be said about him having a preoccupation with success not unlike Manfred I think.

Criterion 3: Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) - He literally says this himself. He literally says the jury is made up of "ignorant swine" and says they're soiling the courts, I don't know what else to say on this point

Criterion 4: Requires excessive admiration - I will once again point you to the implication that he became a defense attorney specifically to make people dependent on him. The judge calls him the best defense attorney in town so I think it's safe to assume he's never lost a trial (which I will bring up again later). The nanosecond it's implied Apollo is turning on him and losing admiration for him, Kristoph takes it as a fucking betrayal, specifically saying "Et tu, Justice? You would betray me, your teacher?" Reminder, this is because Apollo decided to listen to Phoenix's testimony.

Criterion 5: Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations) - Can I say his cell is evidence of this? No? Alright. He seems pretty fucking upset when he's reminded he's not the defense attorney in Phoenix's case. What does this imply? He acts like he's entitled to acting as the defense attorney during the case. This in comparison to the other defense attorneys who have acted as co-counsel at some point (Mia, Diego, Phoenix, Apollo, Kazuma, Athena) who let the acting defense attorney do their damn job. Like it might even be that no other lawyer acting as co-counsel has ever acted as entitled as Kristoph does that makes it feel like Kristoph comes off as entitled in the first place (in which case, I very much think Kristoph is meant to come off as entitled during Turnabout Trump).

Criterion 6: Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends) - I'm not explaining this. Phoenix's disbarment hinged on this, I refuse to explain this. I already made a post about it in regards to Apollo, I'm not explaining this here

Criterion 7: Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others - I think in order to be as horrible as he is, he would have to lack empathy. Idk. Like he obviously lacks empathy but I don't know how to explain it.

Criterion 8: Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her - Literally his motive for everything. He got Phoenix disbarred because he was upset over Zak firing him.

Criterion 9: Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes - I will once again direct you to him calling the jury "ignorant swine" in Turnabout Succession.

That is 8 out of 9 criteria he definitely meets and one that's debatable. You only need to meet five of the critera to be diagnosed. The only reason one is debatable is because we don't get into Kris's head. Conclusion: "Kristoph has NPD" isn't an unreasonable assumption. Kristoph having NPD is actually why I haven't posted the analysis on his Psyche-Locks; I didn't think I could explain Kristoph having NPD well in that post and having that explanation is crucial to understanding that analysis (which will be added to this one instead of it being its own post).

As I said at the start, I do not think Kristoph having NPD makes him a horrible person. I think he knows he has a problem, and instead of getting help for it, he embraces it. He chooses not to get help and that choice and him borderline embracing his narcissistic traits is what makes him a horrible person. This is yet another thing that makes Kristoph and Klavier so interesting; Klavier exhibited similar narcissistic tendencies at 17 (although not near as bad as Kristoph) but it feels like he recognized that he had a problem and got help for it. Narcissistic personality disorder can be caused by trauma, and it wouldn't surprise me if Kristoph and Klavier had very similar yet very different responses to whatever traumatic event they experienced. In Kris's case, this resulted in NPD that he didn't get help for and arguably embraces.

Part 2: Evidence Forgery & A Perfect Trial Record

The judge explicitly refers to Kristoph as "the best defense attorney in town" when he asks about Apollo's status as the acting attorney and Apollo refers to Kristoph as a "top-notch defense attorney" when he asks Phoenix why he wanted Apollo to be his attorney. In my opinion, both of these statements would imply that Kristoph has never lost a trial. Even Phoenix has lost trials, and he basically had Kristoph's reputation before being disbarred (which has some super interesting implications actually). This is where Klavier comes into play.

For Kristoph to forge evidence to guarantee a win, he's either not as good a defense attorney as his reputation would have people believe, or he was confident Klavier had a chance to win the trial. If we really think about it, I think the first option, that Kristoph just isn't as good a defense attorney as people think, is more likely, and this also leads into the evidence forgery discussion. He had no qualms about spending $100k on forged evidence. This implies one of two things; either he's forged evidence before or he's von Karma levels of rich. I think it's much more likely that Kristoph forges evidence to make up for the fact that he's not actually as good a defense attorney as people think he is.

He's a year younger than Phoenix, so if we assume he became a defense attorney at the same age as Phoenix (24), he'd already been a defense attorney for two years at that point. Going a bit further, if we assume he became a defense attorney at the same age as Apollo (22) instead, then he'd been an attorney for four years by the time Zak's trial was happening (and he had been an attorney long enough by Zak's trial to be well known, as Klavier says "Ah, figures my bro's more famous in this part of town" when the judge asks if Klavier and Kristoph are related). There's plenty of room for him to forge evidence there, as long as the decisive evidence doesn't require replication of something that would be unique, like handwriting. He could (probably) easily forge a murder weapon or a bloodstain. This would explain why he's so willing to pay $100k for a forgery too. If we keep with the assumption that he forged evidence his entire career but never had to do anything with something like handwriting, he'd probably pay an arm and a leg to get the evidence he needs.

Considering Kristoph is also willing to murder people over a seven year old case, I wouldn't be surprised if he defended people he knew were guilty. Depending on the case, he would probably have to forge evidence at some point.

Part 3: Black Psyche-Locks

Kristoph having black Psyche-Locks when he's asked about why he killed Zak is interesting. It makes a lot more sense if you keep in mind that he is a narcissist. To fully explore Kris's Psyche-Locks, we need to go back to something Spark Brushel mentions in Turnabout Succession's MASON system section.

Spark says that Kristoph started stalking everyone who could conceivably be involved in Zak's case out of paranoia. In Kristoph's brain, this was probably completely justified. His paranoia was specifically rooted in the belief that Zak would appear to someone involved in the case and expose Kristoph's forgery. Kristoph stalked Spark, he stalked Phoenix, he stalked the Mishams, I wouldn't be surprised if he (attempted to) stalk Klavier. If the fact that he forged the evidence that got Phoenix Wright disbarred ever got out, his reputation would be tarnished beyond repair, and to him, his reputation is the most important thing he has. He was so careful about how he handled the forged diary page that nobody suspected anything was even wrong with it except Klavier. All of this adds context to his Psyche-Locks being black instead of red.

I think it's incredibly likely that whether through paranoia-fueled delusion or just not being able to consciously acknowledge that he did kill Zak (which, if revealed and then investigated, could absolutely expose all of Kristoph's wrongdoings, something I think he would've realized), he genuinely didn't realize he killed Zak. I 100% think it's possible that Kristoph genuinely thought he'd killed some random guy on impulse. "But Jinx," I hear you saying, "why would he have gone after Zak if he didn't realize who he is?" As I said, I think it's possible that Kris thought he killed a random guy on impulse. He didn't plan to kill Zak. If he had, he would've been more prepared for it. I think some part of his brain recognized Zak which is what gave him the impulse in the first place, but he didn't become consciously aware of it until Turnabout Succession. Alternatively, he got so far in denial that he managed to delude himself into genuinely thinking he hadn't killed Zak, and he had just killed some rando named Shadi Smith. Phoenix didn't even recognize Zak when he introduced himself as Shadi. If Phoenix, who played poker with and defended Zak and has a picture of him in his office, didn't recognize Zak immediately, why would Kristoph?

It's also not impossible that there are multiple other murders Kristoph's committed that we don't know about. Hell, he tried to poison the Mishams after Zak's trial. At the very least I don't think that was his first time attempting murder. Kristoph's not an idiot, he's just careless (which doesn't surprise me, considering he is so convinced that if he ties his loose ends he won't get caught that he doesn't even tie his loose ends all the way, nor watch what he says in regards to murders he committed). That's not to say he's some kind of mastermind either, but he is intelligent. I don't think he could pull Simeon Saint levels of bullshit but he's very much capable of successfully and skillfully manipulating people. My point here being, if he has murdered other people before he murdered Zak and after he attempted to poison the Mishams, he probably wouldn't be surprised about having the impulse to kill some random guy, making him more inclined to believe he did just kill some guy.

I also think it's worth it to compare how Athena's Psyche-Locks broke in Dual Destinies to Kristoph's behavior. Athena was able to be eased into her Psyche-Locks breaking. She didn't have any reason not to trust the things Phoenix was saying. Kristoph is so paranoid that he doesn't trust anyone. He wouldn't have been able to have his Psyche-Locks broken because he would just deny everything that's being said until he can't deny it anymore and breaks down, something at least directly related to his paranoia, if not also his NPD. This is why I mentioned in this post that breaking Kristoph's Psyche-Locks would always be a bad idea. He'd never get to a point where he'd be able to mentally handle the truth. Kris's trust issues run so deep that he'd never trust anything anyone's saying until the damage is already done and the Psyche-Locks are broken. In Kristoph's case, there's no way to break those fuckers without causing the damage Pearl mentioned as something that'll happen if they're broken when they're not ready to be. I wouldn't be surprised if this is why Kristoph's breakdown in Turnabout Succession is so intense.

Part 4: Kristoph's Personal Relationships

For this section, I'm going to discuss each of Kristoph's relationships separately, then go into what his relationships say about him in general. So let's start.

Kristoph & Klavier

Kristoph and Klavier's dynamic is genuinely one of the most interesting in the Ace Attorney series to me.

Klavier doesn't really talk about Kristoph much, and the same sorta seems to apply to Kristoph. We don't learn anything about Klavier and Kristoph's dynamic until Turnabout Succession, and we know Kristoph didn't talk about Klavier because Apollo didn't even know Kristoph has a brother. When we do see what their dynamic was like in 2019, it's Klavier being used by Kristoph. Kristoph used Klavier to get Phoenix disbarred, and it weighed on Klavier's mind for seven years.

I also think it's worth noting the following exchange from Turnabout Succession:

Klavier: Let's clean out the family closet, eh, Kristoph? Kristoph: You're spinning out of control. Calm yourself before you say something you'll regret. Klavier: Spinning out of whose control? Mine? …Or yours?

Which implies that Kristoph exhibited some kind of controlling behavior towards Klavier. It doesn't surprise me because Kristoph's a control freak. I'd also be more surprised if Klavier wasn't afraid of Kristoph killing him at some point. Additionally, something I mentioned in my Klavier analysis is that in the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession, Klavier does have a good view of Kristoph and even seems to look up to him. He takes Kristoph at his word that Phoenix is going to present forged evidence despite (by 24 year old Klavier's account) finding it weird even then, and keeps him anonymous when he brings up the fact that Phoenix presented forged evidence. Another thing I mentioned in the aforementioned Klavier analysis is that based on Klavier's behavior, he didn't realize Kristoph was manipulating him until sometime after the 2019 section of Turnabout Succession. Something made Klavier realize he was being manipulated. Could be age or that Kristoph did something that made Klavier realize Kristoph was a piece of shit, but no matter what it was, something happened that made Klavier's view of Kristoph shift.

Kristoph & Phoenix

Kristoph and Phoenix are also really interesting to me because Kristoph's end of their friendship is fueled by paranoia, and Phoenix's side is fueled by a desire to keep Kristoph close and basically investigate him. It's toxic on both their ends, and that makes it really interesting. Their dynamic also has a really good example of "Kristoph will lash out if someone even minutely slights him" in both Phoenix's trial and Vera's.

During Phoenix's trial, Kristoph gets so upset over the trial even slightly alluding to the potential for him being present to kill Shadi that the judge has to remind him that Phoenix is his client. Phoenix is also so determined to get Kristoph caught that he forges evidence (technically twice) and revamps the entire justice system (and this was exclusively to get Kristoph caught). They're both incredibly petty with each other. I'm not really sure what to add here, they're just so toxic they should come with a radiation warning.

Kristoph & Apollo

Apollo looks up to Kristoph. Kristoph uses this to his advantage during Phoenix's trial, using the fact that Apollo is loyal to and looks up to both Kristoph and Phoenix to emotionally manipulate him. He then probably tries to use "You would betray me, your teacher?" to further manipulate him, but Apollo's desire to find the truth overrides his loyalty to Kristoph (something Apollo literally tells Kristoph).

Kristoph has one final instance of trying to emotionally manipulate Apollo; he gets Klavier to the point where he essentially shuts down then blames Klavier shutting down on Apollo. This doesn't work of course, and Apollo bulldozes on through anyway.

In general I think we can come to a pretty solid conclusion that Kristoph will either manipulate and gaslight people to get what he wants or stalks them out of an intense paranoia that's directly related to how he sees himself as a result of the NPD he didn't get treatment for. Instead of coping with things like a normal fucking person, he resorts to both physical and psychological violence and stalking.

Part 5: Conclusion

So here we are. Almost 3k words later. I do not want the takeaway from this to be "Kristoph's a manipulative, violent asshole because he's a narcissist" and if that's your takeaway you need to rethink literally everything I said here. The fact that Kristoph could be diagnosed with NPD has nothing to do with him choosing violence. NPD has nothing to do with him choosing to stalk everyone involved with Zak's trial instead of getting help for his paranoia. I want that to be perfectly clear. The thing with NPD is it can be hard for the person suffering from it to realize they have it and subsequently get help for it. Kristoph's problem isn't exactly that he has NPD. It's that he never got help for the thinking patterns the NPD caused. Had he gotten help I don't think he would've ended up stalking and murdering people. He'd still have NPD, but he wouldn't be near as fucked up.

It's why Klavier and Kristoph are so interesting as characters. Klavier has narcissistic traits but he evidently got help for them, as he's nowhere near as egotistical at 24 as he was when he was 17, although he does start exhibiting those traits again under high stress situations. He's still not completely okay mentally (otherwise he wouldn't regress like that), but he's also better than Kristoph at managing his symptoms when they do show up. Kristoph doesn't even try to get help for his symptoms, which leads to his downfall. Had he gotten help for his narcissism, he might've ended up a bit more like Klavier.

I hope Ace Attorney's prison system has a proper therapy program. I hope Kristoph's able to get help when and if he decides he wants it, because I am personally of the belief that everyone deserves help if they want it, and Kristoph's no different. I don't think he deserves to have Phoenix, Apollo, or Klavier back in his life, and I wouldn't blame any of them for never talking to him again, but that doesn't mean I don't think Kristoph deserves help. He would just have to realize he has a problem first, which I doubt happened soon after Apollo Justice and I'd frankly be surprised if it ever happens. But I hope the offer for help is there if he decides he wants it.

So why is Kristoph Like That? Untreated mental health issues that he's implied to realize is a problem.

*Again, please do not act like I'm saying Kristoph having NPD is an excuse for his actions. He chose not to get help. He chose to stalk people. He chose to kill people. Him having NPD isn't an excuse for that. My goal here was simply to answer "Why is Kristoph Gavin like that?" Do not misconstrue my intentions here or what I'm saying. Kristoph's NPD isn't what drove him to do what he did. Him choosing to embrace symptoms that hurt people did.

[mirensiart]

I need to yap about my favorite character ever, aka, riki from xenoblade chronicles 1

He is introduced as a comic relief character, like he is a fluffy cute thing as u can see above, and yet he is canonically 40 years old, has a wife and 12 children lmao

(Also, he is a nopon, a race of cute fluffy + feathery creatures, that talk by adding "-pon" to words)

Anyway, he is given the title "legendary heropon" of his race/people and is forced to join the protag's party cause his people are fed up with him thanks to his crippling debts lmao so they send him away and if he comes back his debts will be payed (he is sent with the idea that he won't come back btw lol)

Here he is talking to his wife and her reprimanding him cause of his debts lmao

ANYWAY the important thing here, is that throughout the game, riki gets closer to shulk, the game's main character, and if u get their affinity up shulk tells him he is an orphan and that he is sad that when he comes back from the adventure, no one will be there waiting for him

And this goat, the best character in the entire game, says THIS

And shulk AGREES, so he is canonically adopted by THIS CUTE THING and the idea of SHULK, being part of a family of cute fluffy creatures, with fluffy parents and 12 fluffy siblings always take me out and is my favorite thing in any JRPG ever

THAT IS HIS DAD!!!!!

Also in xenoblade chronicles 3, shulk has a kid, named nikol, and LOOK AT NIKOL'S DESIGN + HIS WEAPON OF CHOICE

Those are MECHANICAL NOPON WINGS, THE SAME COLOR AND DESIGN AS RIKI'S....THAT IS HIS CANON GRANDPA PEOPLE!

Anyway I am INSANE over the shulk + riki family and I just wanted to yap about it, have this drawing I've done of them

[themeaningthemeaningthe]

can’t sleep for other reasons and my brain can’t stop thinking about a post i saw and initially ignored but keep having thoughts about. i didn’t comment on it or anything and now it’s lost to the ether and i don’t wanna go looking for it but these thoughts gotta go somewhere.

this will be long and rambling and probably a little incoherent cuz it’s 3am.

the post was someone saying that they finally picked up gideon the ninth after years of seeing locked tomb posts and griddlehark, then dropped it after like 2 chapters bcuz they think the dynamic between gideon and harrow is abusive (which is fair when u first start it) and they can’t believe people are into it as enemies to lovers. on the one hand, people are totally cool to just not like something for whatever reason, i myself just have thoughts about the Nuance that i didn’t express on the post that i now must here.

lots of important spoilers for GtN!! (and maybe accidentally ones to HtN)

ok here’s the rant.

that’s the point!!!!! that’s the point.

they are terrible to each other and they have always been. the growth and the development of their character dynamics together explores how this thing between them that has always been sharp and seething and spiky must buckle under the weight of outside pressure beyond anything they could have imagined.

in a very important pool scene (one that is ubiquitous in fanart and i have to believe this poster saw at least a few times) we get an explanation from harrow! and not only does this give us a more full look into the context of drearbruh outside of gideons narrow point of view, but it also makes more clear why they were like That.

i’m sorry but literally harrow is 200 dead kids that her parents killed to make her, and gideon is the one kid they couldn’t kill. and gideon realizes once told this, she is the living reminder of the war crime committed to save the house, and no one who knows can forget it.

and harrow has known the truth of her origin since she was old enough to comprehend anything!! so yeah, a traumatized child who knows she’s the entirety of a generation of her house is gonna lash out at literally the only other child on the planet who she happens to also have power over.

and i feel like the book makes this pretty clear!! this was bad!! but also, these are two traumatized kids growing up in a dying, creepy, planet that is lowkey hell.

the other key thing about the pool scene, is that it is a Confession. these books are sooo steeped in catholicism. harrow isn’t just explaining the true history of her life, she is Confessing all of the sins that make her up and all of the sins she has committed. bearing the entirety of the wretchedness of her soul for gideon judge. expecting her only friend whom she has made miserable for years to kill her.

and i know we joke about gideon being lesbian jesus, but there’s a reason for that (besides the obvious). bcuz after hearing her Confession, gideon baptized harrow in that pool.

one flesh one end, bitch.

and also like yeah griddlehark is an enemies to lovers in some ways, but i feel like also not in the typical way you would think about that trope?? bcuz correct me if im wrong but they never really become lovers (and i personally am not sure they ever will). yes they love each other and make the grandest gestures of love imaginable. but that love is inevitably fucked up in some ways and it’s impossible for it to not be.

god that was way too long. anyway. some Nuance is necessary.

[seastarblue]

new year, new me, new intro! as always this is subject to change as time goes on <3

all ids in alt ~ ✶⋆.˚✶⋆.˚✶⋆.˚

Nice to meet you! You can call me Sea, or Seastar, or whatever really I don’t mind too much!

-> About Me:

She / Her

18

AroAce

Black and Muslim (feel free to ask about either ^^)

Somewhat neurodivergent but I don’t know what exactly …

My favorite colors are red, yellow, and blue! Classics.

Favorite food is really anything my mom makes 🙏

I try to be funny sometimes and idk if it works but I’m doing it anyways

I’d like to use more tone indicators (like /pos, /gen, etc) and to ID more images here ! sometimes I forget…

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Anyways. Onto…

-> what I do and post about:

I’m a writer (or I try to be), artist (again: try to be), and a professional Silly Lil Guy 😌. I’d like to be a pharmacist soon, I’m planning on going to college for that !

This is my only blog, and here I post a plethora of Things, including but not limited to:

My original writing / doodles (more on those later)

My cool mooties and their characters

I wanna start writing prompts and such! For others to get ideas from!

This isn’t quite a whump blog per se but I do like whump and I do post about it occasionally so!

Yeah that’s basically it I’m ngl

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I’ve got a pretty decent tagging system if I do say so myself ^^ so a quick guide to that here:

#sea speaks! - for when I have random stuff to say! not always about writing stuff though

#sea draws - self explanatory

#sea’s asks - self explanatory

#sea’s games - for now, its tag games I’ve participated in! hopefully I’ll start making my own games soon…

#sea’s moots - for things that my (Aweseomesauce) mutuals have done

#osea: character name - for posts about specific ocs (or oseas >:D)

#o(sea’s) - for posts relating to a whole bunch of characters!

#sea’s story 1-3 - posts relating to WIPs of mine! more on those… in a bit

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-> Important Links:

I have two tag lists! This one is for writing and this one is for tag games! Dm me if you want on either ^^

here’s my master list for prompts! hopefully I’ll fill it up soon ^^

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now onto…

-> My Original Works:

All art that’s done by me is under the tag #sea draws (I’m SO bad at tagging sometimes tho so expect some stragglers)

I’ve got a grand total of …*checks notes* three main writing WIPs, and two tiny little ones I haven’t fleshed out at all!

more about them under the cut:

-> Ardenia WIPs:

(Psst, the following all come from one specific world, of my own creation! In order, it’d be the unnamed one, Interwoven, then TGS, then AGGTRG!)

Interwoven - lovingly tagged as #sea’s story 1 status: hiatus as I figure out more Plot — outlining Genre: Fantasy Themes: family, friendship, grief, loyalty, power, justice, belonging

Kaiden Evania is a cursed bounty hunter focused on very few things: paying off her brother’s tuition, keeping her little family safe, and enacting bloody vengeance on them. Bounty hunting isn’t a ‘proper’ job, however, and eventually Kaiden is imprisoned on charges of murdering a Guard.

She’s—begrudgingly—accepted her fate, and awaits trial, when a mysterious offer comes right to her cell door, promising everything she wants and more. Despite her skepticism, she takes it.

And with that, she and eight others are thrust into a kingdom-wide web of death, lies, brutality, and spirits.

———

A Golem’s Guide to Regaining Goodness - lovingly tagged as #sea’s story 2 status: brainstorming and shitposting Genre: Post Apocalyptic Fantasy Themes: Identity, belonging, morality, family

A former war golem, Arbor, and his young dragon companion Fiamma, travel the now war torn continent of Ardenia. Join them as they meet new people, explore the realm, and search for the answer to a single question: “What makes someone good?”

———

The Guiding Star - lovingly tagged as #sea’s story 3 status: brainstorming only because I don’t have enough Plot to shitpost Genre: Steampunk Pirate Fantasy Themes: (idk yet)

Zenith, of the Guiding Star, is no different than other pirates. They’ve lied, stole, and killed others, all in the name of fame and riches. They and their tiny crew of three others are unassuming, small fish compared to the gargantuan crews that share their skies.

When the Goddess Andromeda’s stars start falling from the sky, the Guiding Star’s crew are the first to pounce on the opportunity for power beyond their widest imaginations. Little do they know, they are not alone in this hunt. There are others, pirates and kingdoms alike, who will stop at nothing to collect all the stars and use them for their own gain. (will fill this out more later)

———

[Title Pending.] Status: just an idea Genre: Fantasy (structured like a field guide) Themes: (idk yet)

A field guide of Ardenia, written a long time ago.

———

and now the WIP that isn’t a part of Ardenia:

[Title Also Pending]

Either way, it’s a whump story surrounding a healer and a crownchain knight, both of which are trapped in a fighting ring against their will!

It’s set in the Crownchain universe, which was created by @whumpdreaming and I HIGHLY recommend their content ok peak whump right there!

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Now that the yapping’s outta the way… I’d like to take a moment and say…

to all my lovely lovely moots and followers: I love yall sm <3

stay funky, and have a wonderful day!

[vanilladollette]

Hey girl wassup, can you write about sweet female reader, with (all the characters if that's okay for u, if no, then jae Joon)

Female reader who is friends with Dong Eun and she had no idea that burns were from the bullies, and didn't know that jae Joon was apart of the incident, and when Dong exposes jae Joon, female reader goes from sweet to cold towards Jae Joon and breaks up with him, and lends him to be yandere.

(ALSO GIRL I WANNA SAY THAT I LOVE YOUR THE GLORY X READER ON, WATTPAD ♡ )

The Sweetest Poison

Pairing: Yandere Jeon Jae-Joon x Fem! Sweet Reader

Word count: 1.75k

Summary:After learning you left him upon discovering his past as your best friend's bully, Jae-Joon's heartbreak twists into a dangerous obsession.

Warnings: Bullying, Burns, toxic, violent behavior, cursing

A/n: I'm glad that you like Beneath The Surface!!! This took me awhile to write but thank you for being patient with me. Anyways, I hope you like this!

You couldn’t believe it, even as you replayed her words in your head. The signs were all there, and yet somehow, you’d missed them. How could you have missed something like that?

When Moon Dong-eun, your friend from high school, had contacted you, you were thrilled. It had been years since you’d last seen her. Her message had been brief, almost cryptic, saying she needed to talk about something important in person. Curious and eager, you’d agreed to meet her at a quiet café downtown.

As you approached the agreed-upon spot, you saw her sitting alone at a corner table. Dong-eun looked different but not unrecognizable. Her posture was composed, her expression serene yet distant, like someone who had seen too much and learned to mask it well. You felt a pang of nostalgia as memories of the once cheerful, soft-spoken girl from high school resurfaced.

“Dong-eun!” you greeted warmly, sliding into the seat across from her. “It’s been so long. How are you?”

Her smile was faint but sincere. “Hello, y/n. It’s good to see you.” Her voice had a weight to it, as though each word carried unspoken emotions.

The two of you exchanged pleasantries. You told her how you’d thought about her over the years, wondering where she’d gone and what had happened after she left school. You mentioned how devastated you were when you found her house empty, with no way to contact her.

“I’ve been well,” she said, her tone polite but guarded. “After leaving school, I went to college to study education. I’m a teacher now.”

“Wow, that’s wonderful!” you exclaimed, genuinely impressed. “I wouldn’t have guessed you wanted to be a teacher back then.”

“What about you?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “How have you been?”

You gave a small laugh. “Oh, nothing as exciting as becoming a teacher, that’s for sure. Just working and… you know, living life.”

As the conversation lingered, you couldn’t help but feel there was something unsaid, something heavier lurking beneath her calm demeanor. Finally, you decided to ask.

“Anyway,” you began, leaning forward slightly, “what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

Dong-eun hesitated, her fingers curling around the edge of her cup. Her gaze flickered downward for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice was soft but deliberate.

“You know,” she said, almost wistfully, “I always wondered how someone as kind as you could be so close to him.”

Her words caught you off guard. Him? You blinked, your head tilting in confusion. “Who are you talking about?”

She didn’t answer immediately. Instead, her eyes met yours, searching your face as though gauging your reaction. Finally, she asked, “Do you know why I dropped out of high school?”

You nodded slowly. “You were being bullied. I assumed that was the reason… that you didn’t want to deal with it anymore.”

“Yes,” she confirmed, her voice steady. “But I never told you who my bullies were.”

A chill ran down your spine. Something in her tone made your stomach knot. You stayed silent, waiting for her to continue.

She took a deep breath, her fingers now toying with the hem of her sleeve. “One of them was Jae-joon,” she said finally, her words landing like a thunderclap. “He was one of them.”

Your breath caught. Jae-joon? You stared at her, your mind racing. Jae-joon, the same person you’d been close to all these years? The same person you’d trusted, laughed with, maybe even defended? The shock on your face must have been evident, because Dong-eun gave a sad, knowing smile.

“I’m guessing he never told you,” she said, her voice tinged with resignation. “I didn’t think he would. Why would he admit something like that to you?”

You were at a loss for words. Memories of Jae-joon flooded your mind—his easy smile, his charm, the way he always seemed so confident. You couldn’t reconcile the image of him with what Dong-eun was telling you. But then you thought about her, about how she’d suddenly vanished from your life, leaving no trace. And you realized… maybe you’d never really known Jae-joon as well as you thought.

“I’m sorry you had to find out from me,” Dong-eun said, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft but firm, her gaze unwavering.

You shook your head quickly, trying to process everything. “No… I—I needed to know.” Your voice trembled, and you suddenly felt a lump in your throat. “I’m sorry, but I… I have to go.”

Without waiting for her response, you grabbed your bag and stood. Your legs felt unsteady as you walked out of the café, the weight of her revelation pressing down on you like a heavy fog. As you stepped into the cold air, one question echoed in your mind: How had you missed it?

“Y/n, I’m home!” Jae-Joon called out from the entrance of your shared home, his voice echoing through the quiet space. The late hour clung to him like a shadow, exhaustion evident in the way he shrugged off his coat and draped it over the back of a chair.

“Y/n?” he called again, his tone softening slightly when no response came.

He moved through the house, his footsteps muffled on the carpet as he checked the usual places you might be. The kitchen was empty, the living room undisturbed. A flicker of unease settled in his chest as he made his way toward the bedroom.

Pushing the door open slowly, Jae-Joon’s eyes landed on your still figure lying on the bed, your back facing him. Relief warred with apprehension as he stepped closer, his voice low and uncertain.

“Y/n?”

When you didn’t stir, he perched cautiously on the edge of the bed beside you, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight. His hand found your hip, a gesture meant to bridge the growing distance he felt between you. For a moment, he said nothing, unsure how to break the silence that had thickened between you lately.

“How was your day?” he finally asked, his voice tentative.

“Fine,” you replied curtly, your tone as cold as the wall you stared at.

Jae-Joon’s shoulders sagged under the weight of your indifference. The silence returned, heavier than before. Sighing, he rose and left the room to prepare for bed, the unspoken words hanging in the air like ghosts.

The next morning, Jae-Joon woke to find the bed empty. He blinked at the sunlight filtering through the curtains, assuming you were already up. The faint clink of dishes guided him to the kitchen, where he found you seated at the table with a bowl of untouched cereal in front of you. Your gaze was fixed on some indiscernible point ahead, your posture rigid.

“Morning,” he greeted, though the lightness in his tone faltered when you didn’t respond. Shrugging it off, he began rummaging through the cabinets for something to eat.

“When were you going to tell me that you gave Dong-eun those burns?”

Your voice cut through the stillness. Jae-Joon froze, his hand hovering over the coffee pot. Slowly, he turned to face you, his expression a mixture of confusion and unease.

“What?” he managed, his voice strained.

“Or were you just hoping I’d never find out?” Your voice trembled, though your eyes remained fixed ahead.

Jae-Joon’s throat tightened. “Who told you? Did Dong-eun tell you?” He approached the table, his movements deliberate.

“Answer my question,” you snapped, finally meeting his gaze. Your red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks were like a punch to his gut. “Were you ever planning to tell me, Jae-Joon? Or did you think you could hide the fact that you were my best friend’s bully?”

His jaw clenched as anger flared in his eyes, a defense mechanism against the guilt clawing at him. “What did she tell you?” he demanded, his voice rising.

“Why are you so worried about what she said? Is it because it’s true?” you shot back, standing up abruptly.

The two of you locked eyes, the tension crackling between you like a live wire. You didn’t wait for his response. Turning on your heel, you strode toward the bedroom.

Jae-Joon followed close behind, his stomach twisting as he watched you yank a suitcase from the closet and toss it onto the bed. His heart sank further with every article of clothing you packed.

“Wait, what are you doing?” His voice cracked, the panic unmistakable.

“I’m done, Jae-Joon,” you said, your voice rising. “We’re over.” You zipped the suitcase with trembling hands, refusing to look at him.

“Y/n, wait!” He grabbed your wrist as you made for the door, his grip firm but not forceful. “Let’s talk about this. Please.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You wrenched your arm free, your voice breaking.

Jae-Joon stood frozen as you walked out the door, the sound of your suitcase wheels scraping against the floor a bitter reminder of your departure. The silence that followed was deafening.

“FUCK!” The scream tore from his throat as he hurled a lamp across the room, the crash doing little to ease the storm raging inside him.

Grabbing his phone, he scrolled furiously through his messages until he found Dong-eun’s number. His hands shook as he hit the call button, the phone pressed tightly to his ear.

After several rings, her voice came through, calm and composed. “Hello?”

“WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?” he roared, his voice laced with fury.

“Simply the truth,” Dong-eun replied coldly.

“Because of you, Y/n left me!” His voice cracked, the admission spilling out like a wound reopening.

“Did you really think she wouldn’t find out, Jae-Joon?” Dong-eun’s voice was unyielding. “She deserved to know.”

He ended the call abruptly, hurling his phone across the room. Chest heaving, he sank onto the bed, his head in his hands.

Jae-Joon sat on the edge of the bed, his breathing ragged as the room fell silent. His hands shook. You were his—his light, his purpose, his everything.

You leaving wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be. He’d make you see that. He’d make you come back to him, no matter what it took.

A smile—a chilling, empty smile—spread across his face. You weren’t responding now, but that was fine. He didn’t need words. He knew where you were. He’d find you.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice soft, almost tender. “You’ll understand soon, Y/n. We’re meant to be.”

His heart pounded with renewed determination as he got up, his mind racing with plans. You belonged to him, and nothing would change that.

Nothing.

Taglist: @petersasteria

[broadwaybalogna]

What irks me is why do so many zutara shippers also love dramione or reylo. Azutara is right there if the canon redemption arc is not that relevant to you guys. I personally do not get it, but it is probably because I do not care as much for enemies to lovers as I do for friends to lovers. Or maybe because I do not care for ‘I can fix him’ love stories all that much. I do think that Katara played a role in Zuko’s redemption arc, but to me it’s so important that he changed on his own and for his own reasons. I feel like you get what I mean 😊

I’m gonna be honest I’m so tired I should not be answering this until I completely understand what you’re saying but-

Okay so I havnt watched Star Wars in years. And I never watched Harry Potter, BUT, one thing I believed that happened often was that we got to see enough interactions with these characters for people to say “oh, there’s tension here.” Or “yeah I could ship that”. Correct me if I’m wrong, I could be! But I’m pretty sure all those characters had a lot of time to get to know, understand, and grow together in some respect.

Now, I’ve never been opposed to the “two characters that barely interact should get shipped!” Train. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. You get to create character dynamics based on what you only know of the characters outside of their interactions. It makes for great character studies if anything.

My main problem is that Azula never demonstrates any emotion other than hate for the Gaang. For her brother? Idk, it’s a stretch, but I believe in familial love, it could’ve been there ever so slightly. But she quite literally never sees them as anything other than the enemy.

I can totally understand the parallel aspect to their relationship, though. The parallels are define tot there, and I can see how that can influence a persons shipping preference. I first started shipping Zutara because of all the parallels i saw between them! So yeah, I get it.

I also totally understand not shipping Zutara, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and sometimes enemies to lovers isn’t for you. I’m not asking you to like Zutara or dislike Azutara. Katara “playing a role in Zuko’s redemption arc” also isn’t a large reason as to why people ship the two together. I mean, their talk in the catacombs was definitely filled with romantic tension if you ask me, but that’s aside the point. Almost all of Zuko’s redemption, he fulfilled on his own with Iroh’s help.

Katara’s perspective simply helped him see the war from the completely opposing point of view without outright hate. And I think that’s beautiful.

Anyways, I went really off topic. Uh, TL;DR: I really don’t know anything about Reylo or Dramione. Azutara is still meh and I these mountains are getting really hard to climb in order to find that fuck I need to give. /lh (I’m sure asker didn’t mean any harm I just think it’s funny)

[eriochromatic]

I love your Silco takes so I was wondering if you could share yours on Vander and the drowning incident because no matter what angle I look at, it doesn't make sense.

As far as I can tell from what we're shown, the riot was well under way before Silco threw that molotov, and it's confirmed that enforcers killed Felicia. Thing is, it's implicit that Felicia chose to participate in the riot because a.) Why else would she be there, and b.) She was down with Zaun being independent for HER KIDS. Also, anyone who participates in a riot, or even a peaceful protest, knows they're putting their life on the line. So while I understand reacting to loss with intense grief, it's not exactly a surprise? It's something you have to mentally prepare for when you take a stand against an oppressor?

But then, if you go the ideology route with Silco taking it too far and the riot was Silco's idea, that stunt on the bridge was most likely pre-planned, organized resistance. This means a sizable number in their community, including Felicia and Connol, supported it. Even if Vander had doubts, he went along with it. Otherwise, why does the show open with him beating an enforcer on the bridge? Vander had other options: he could have split the resistance group down the middle by sitting it out and/or trying to stop Silco, neither of which he did!

The letter highlights the loss of Felicia as Vander's triggering event, and Vander admits that there's blood on both their hands. To be honest, I kind of like this because it hints that Silco's violence was acceptable to Vander within the context of revolution, and he thought he could handle the sacrifices required. Ironically, when he couldn't handle it, HIS violence pushed Silco towards any-violence-necessary because you can't trust anyone ever anyway!

Anyway, I know this is the fault of flimsy writing in S2 and what feels like internal censorship with challenging political status quo during production, but two drowning attempts (which for Silco came out of nowhere), followed by expulsion from the Lanes (which he helped build), the guilt of Felicia's death, and the total loss of the friends and community he was fighting for ... I mean, at least Silco's villain era makes complete and total sense???

Ugh honestly I try not to think about the drowning incident or even make sense of it anymore because every time I do, it's just so obvious to me that the writers themselves had no idea what they're doing. Timelines are completely off, character motivations make no sense, so why is it up to me to untangle the mess they made?

I have a huge love hate relationship with season 2 because on one hand, I didn't expect as much Silco crumbs we got in the first place and I'm SO HAPPY we got to see him normally in episode 5 and thriving in episode 7. But the retcon… I was so pissed when Act 2 dropped because the whole bridge incident just stopped making sense like you said.

Then when Act 3 happened, it all clicked together, but not in the "ohhh the story makes sense now" way but in the "oh the writers needed to set up smth previously so this would work." and it completely took me out of it. Like. The writers wanted Vander and Silco to make up with each other. But they don't know how to do that. Let's add some underlying sentimentality between Vander and Silco and Vi's mom, then kill Vi off. That'll make them go back together (along with that STUPID LETTER Vander wrote). Sure that's a bandaid solution and on surface level it works, but I don't think the writers really thought we would think about Silco this much so the moment you peel back the layers nothing makes sense anymore. I think they could've crafted a way more interesting story if they ACTUALLY SAT DOWN AND TRIED to have Silco and Vander reconcile without using Felicia as a crutch, but season 2 has an overarching problem of "lets have all the important things happen offscreen and only imply that they happened" which is just… so lazy…. so I'm not surprised that this happened.

It just weakens so, so many parts of the story and raises way more questions than answer them. Why does Silco pull away and distance himself from Felicia's family? Surely Vi should know him from before? Does Silco only take in Powder because he knew she was Felicia's daughter? Why, WHY does Vander go like "there are worse things than enforcers out there" (implying Silco) in s1 while talking to Benzo????????? when he's apparently felt guilty this whole time ??????? what happened to "I've looked everywhere????" etc etc idk man. from s1 I always thought the bridge incident happened way, way earlier from Felicia dying bc Vi looked like she was about 7 years old during the bridge and around 14 during act one, but then if you see Silco during the s2 warwick flashback he looks like he's 25. maybe 30 at the maximum. aint no way he aged that much in 7 years, in act one he and Vander both feel like they're in their mid 40s idk.

This is lowkey why I kind of only want to draw young Silco.. I love old man yaoi but like. If everything I draw is just flashback version of him, I don't need to worry about logistics of the bridge thing bc it hasn't happened yet lmfao. Or the AU version where everything is solved and no one rlly thinks about that time anymore.

Honestly I've tried to write this response several times trying to spell out my version of the timeline but just. nothing makes any fucking sense. I don't like thinking about how badly the writers fucked up on this part. Silco magically gets an eye injury caused by Vander and they had yaoi divorce but it's fine now. That's just how it is for me and if I think about it even a little more in depth my head will explode and I have better things to do with my time like draw zaundads yaoi

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I keep thinking about Kaidan's character arc and how important his struggle with survivor's guilt is to it.

The whole trilogy literally begins with him losing his subordinate (Jenkins) for the first time, and it obviously hits him hard.

Kaidan is the head of the Marine detail on the Normandy, which means that every Marine on board, their safety and comfort is his responsibility. Sure, the Normandy is the new ship, but you can't just put a bunch of people on board and sail them off on their first mission. It takes a lot of preparation and team building to make that work, so realistically, before Jenkins' death, Kaidan spent weeks and weeks with these guys, trying to make a connection and get them to trust him (with their lives).

He spent every day of the week with these guys, and he was the one who comforted them after Jenkins' death, both as their officer and as someone who was present when Jenkins was killed and as someone who literally pronounced him dead. The whole brunt of this fell on Kaidan's shoulders because Shepard was unconscious after the contact with the beacon, and that's another reason for Kaidan to feel terrible about the whole event: He not only lost his subordinate during this mission, he almost lost his commanding officer, and now he has to explain it all to Anderson and the crew. It's brutal.

Also, the way he talks about the whole event afterwards is very telling. He says: "I served for years, but never lost a soldier under my command. Not to hostile action, anyway." There's a trauma here. What kind of action did you lose soldiers to, Kaidan?

And after all that, he loses Ashley, who is also a soldier under his command, and also Jenkins' replacement on board.

Kaidan asks, "How could we just leave her down there?" and "Why me? Why not her?" And when Shepard says it was their call, Kaidan says, "If I had done my job, you wouldn’t have had to make that call."

He blames himself for this situation, he feels survivor's guilt, and you can only imagine how much worse it gets when Shepard tells him to evacuate with the crew after the Normandy is attacked by the Collectors. Kaidan follows that order and survives. Shepard does not.

In ME2, that same guilt is absolutely part of why Shepard's betrayal hurts him so much. Not only because Kaidan (or Ashley), unlike every other ME1 squadmate, actively went looking for Shepard and made a lot of personal sacrifices to make that meeting possible (I need to write a separate post about that, don't I?), not only because Kaidan is apparently not worthy enough to be contacted by Shepard, but also because Kaidan did not protect Shepard, and now Shepard is with the enemy.

And then ME3 happens, and Kaidan's students go MIA, and they die, and he has to deal with that same guilt again. I feel very strongly that all these years after Shepard's death, he has tried to do his job well enough so that nobody has to make tough calls, but this war is just one big tough call, and he tries to deal with that fact, and he struggles terribly (especially in the deleted scene).

Kaidan's whole journey through the Reaper War is about trying to deal with the absolute loss of control and the guilt. He didn't save Jenkins, he didn't save Ash, he didn't save Shepard's life, and he didn't save Shepard from Cerberus, and he didn't help Shepard with the Collectors.

And now he can't help his students, and he can't even help his mother, but maybe he can finally help Shepard and be there for Shepard in their last moments, and he comes to terms with that ("We both know this is goodbye."; oh, the way his voice breaks in that moment...). But then Shepard leaves him again, and there's nothing Kaidan can do about it. Absolutely nothing.

Ouch.

[sof1eee]

What i think the squid game character's sexuality are:

1. Thanos: Bisexual

To be honest i feel like he could also be pansexual because i don't think he would care who he dates as long as they're hot and match his freak 🤷🏻‍♂️

2. Nam-Gyu: Gay

Idk man do I really need to elaborate further-more..?

3. Se-mi: Lesbian

This is just the same like Nam-Gyu, i can't really explain it but in what world do u see Se-mi and think "oh yeah she's straight" ? 😬

4. Gi-Hun: Bisexual

The tension he had with In-Ho and Sang-woo made me believe that this man is NOT straight. He's literally pulling all of the toxic man in the series 🔥😹

5. Sang-woo: Gay

Speaking of Gi-Hun..., Sang-woo is definitely gay bro, HOW DID HE NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHILE HAVING THAT FACE CARD? Also the tension with him and Gi-Hun?? Homosexuals. I feel like whenever people ask his sexuality he'll reply with "I'm straight" but deep down in his hearts... 👨‍❤️‍👨

6. In-Ho/Frontman: Bisexual

I don't understand why alot of people say he's gay when he LITERALLY HAD A WIFE??? He's definitely the same as Sang-woo, saying that he's straight, but unlike Sang-woo i think he would just say that he's straight because he doesn't want people to ask a million questions, not because of denial 🗣️

7. Dae-Ho: Straight

I haven't seen any signs of homosexualness from him in the series so I'm just gonna say he's straight. I've seen people ship him with Myung-Gi/Mg Coin and I don't really mind the ship but I don't think that would really fit his character (i do love the funny edits of them though 😋)

8. Hyun-Ju: Bisexual

Is it just me or am i seeing ALOT of bisexuals here..... , anyways she's definitely Bi, the characters that she get shipped with the most is literally Gyeong-Seok/246 and Young-Mi 😭. Personally i like 246 x 120 more because i see her and Young-Mi's relationship as big sis and lil sis, but I don't hate any of the ships. Also idk i feel like she gives Bisexual energy so bad 🙏🏻

9. Min-Su/125: ???

I ACTUALLY don't know his sexuality, like I can't figure it out. Genuinely. Many people hc him as gay but i don't think he only likes men, but i don't think he only likes women either. But i also don't think he's bisexual... SOMEONE HELP ME IN THE COMMENTS I CAN'T FIGURE HIM OUT 💔💔

10. Sae-Byeok: Lesbian

Genuinely, do i NEED to explain this???? Have u seen her with Ji-Yeong????? Idk what to say other then i miss her, she's in lesbian with Ji-Yeong and she's so hot 💕

11. Ji-Yeong: Lesbian

Speaking of Sae-Byeok! Her girlfriend are heree 💓💓💓, yeah no she's gay 10000%. I feel like we should've gotten more of her tbh, i feel like no one even remembers her backstory and her backstory ARE SO FUCKING SAD. Everytime anyone mentions her, it's always gotta be with Sae-Byeok. People don't really care about her character if Sae-Byeok is not involved 🫠

12. Ali Abdul: Straight

OKAY ALIWOO SHIPPERS PLEASE DON'T COME AT ME FOR THIS ONE 🙁🙁🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻, but like personally i always see Ali and Sang-woo as like big bro and lil bro, or just a platonic friendship. NOW LET ME REPEAT, I DON'T HATE THE ALIWOO SHIP, I JUST DONT SHIP IT. Also i miss Ali #bringbackmyman 😖

______________________________________________

Okay i think that's all of the characters that I remember from the top of my head, comment if i forgot any important characters 😋

[ihopesocomic]

Speaking about the too many characters issue you pointed out early; isn't that an overall issue on most internet based works? The ones that promote the characters first and the story second?

There are a lot of projects that end up giving more time to Toyhouse profiles, AMVs and stuff on every single background character than in the full work. Is there any advice to deal with that?

Not saying that IHS is the case, considering that it's not finished in the slightest, obv.

You would know better than me if it was a common problem on internet based works. I wouldn't be surprised if it is. I just don't read that many things online. But I do see a lot more voice acting calls than actual results lol so you're probably right.

Some people's stories are only relegated to toyhouse profiles and I think that's an interesting way to do it. It's when people rely on the profiles to get across important information about characters that should be in the comic/cartoon/what have you when it becomes an issue. This isn't counting people who just need a reference to remember who people are. I can admit when it's a me problem versus a problem with the narrative haha

But we've said this a few times before, characters should have a point. And if characters can be consolidated, they should. Like in MP you could have the same plot if you combined Quickmane and Proudmane. Because the exact same outcome happens anyway.

I worried about us having too many characters, especially since we ended up adding more as we went. But it helped that the protagonists were on a journey so the irrelevant characters would be moved on from. I believe that helps with the readers being able to keep track of everyone, because while they're dealing with Edge and his family, they don't have to think about the leopards. Stuff like that. And with all these characters it's just as well we kept their names as one-word names. So while there may be multiple Storm's in this universe, there will be only one Storm in the comic, otherwise it'd really be confusing haha

I can't remember exactly what it was, but I've seen cartoons and live action shows where a character doesn't even have a name until they become relevant to the plot. In books I've read, they'd probably have a name just to make the world feel more natural, as we address people we know by name, but we don't need their life's story to understand why they exist. That should be reserved for your main cast. And in Clouded Moon, we don't even know who Spottedshadow's parents are until like the middle of the story, and then that sort of reveals that Hazelstar and Forestleaf are her grandparents. I feel like that would be important. Or it should be.

This'll be the last time we bring up Clouded Moon. We won't be responding to any more anons about it because we'd just be repeating ourselves. So any comments can be directed to replies on the initial post discussing it. - Cat

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 2 Chapter 6

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 2 Chapter 5. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 2, Ch 6 below the cut (spoilers for part 2 ahead):

Work has officially started again and I'm swamped so I'm only getting back into this re-reading now. (Btw, I'm currently listening to "toxic till the end" by Rosé and my god it's so Savior!AU Cegan... Same for "number one girl" from her Rosie album)

So, chapter 6, the beginning of the heatwave. This is so funny because I still remember writing part 2 and being like, okay I have 2 more chapters and the Claimers plot is done, so what can I do to shake things up at Sanctuary? And at the time I was teaching a class on the short story "Roman Fever" by Edith Wharton and I was explaining to my students the whole stereotypes about southern Europe from the povs of characters from England or the north-eastern coast of America, how the warmer climate is associated with looser morals, promiscuity, how people used to cold climates start to act a bit erratically when it's too hot and they let go of some of their inhibitions. And as I was preparing for this class, I was like... wait a minute... *lightbulb moment*

Anyway, this is how the idea of the heatwave came about and it's crazy that it is still ongoing in part 3, but at the same time it feels very fitting. Right when Negan has decided he's going to be a good man and keep things platonic with Carl, I turned the oven on and blasted them with heat :)))) No regret.

This chapter is very much a pivotal moment in the story because a lot hinges on it. In the previous chapter, Negan showed Carl a surprisingly human and compassionate side of his personality, but everything that has been happening since the start of part 2 (the increasingly erotic tension between them, Negan's cruelty) is still there.

In the Savior!AU, it's very important to me that Negan never becomes too nice. I have nothing against fluff or nice!Negan (in fact, I'm currently writing the fluffiest, nicest Negan ever in my Strawberry Mama Cegan fic), but I started writing the Savior!AU back in 2021 because there was a lack of Cegan fics where Negan was still the sadistic, cruel leader from the canon. Back then, there was a plethora of fics where Carl was sexually abused by Shane, or assaulted by the Claimers, and Negan was the only one who understood/rescued Carl, as well as a lot of fics where Negan immediately became protective of Carl and put him above everyone else right after meeting him, basically 'love at first sight' fics. As much as I enjoyed those stories, I was chagrined at how few fics there were where Negan was still Negan, still cruel and sadistic and egotistical, even when he clearly favored Carl over everyone else (a great example of this, and to me still one of the best Cegan fics ever written, is Wildflowers by Gemjam).

So, to me, this what the Savior!AU is and should always be: a story where Carl and Negan fall in love, yes, but where Negan is still Negan, still monstrous and power-hungry just as much as he's loving and protective, and this is in fact is the main obstacle of their relationship: that Negan's cruelty and thirst for power will always get in the way for as long as he's the leader of the Saviors.

This is why it's so important to me to keep all those moments when Negan is canonically cruel and ruthless. And this chapter has a big one with Mark getting his face ironed off.

Carl is so absorbed by him, by his sheer presence, that it takes him a second to notice that Negan is inspecting him right back, unmoving from his spot by the stairway. His gaze trails along where Carl is slumped against the wall, from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, slowly, down and then up again, and there is nothing concealed about it, his appraisal plainly obvious. His lips are slightly parted, letting Carl glimpse at his pink tongue, the tip caught between his teeth. He can’t feel hotter than he already does, but the rolling knots in his stomach are both new and familiar. He’s reminded of that time in the parking lot, of Negan’s susurrating voice making him feel like he was on a rollercoaster. When their eyes meet, Negan’s hand tightens briefly around Lucille’s handle, before going lax again. He moves forward and Carl knows he should straighten up, knows he should kneel, but he does neither. Instead, he stays right where he is, never taking his eyes off of Negan as he gets inexorably closer, his footsteps an ominous toll that sends Carl’s heart careening inside his chest. Negan stops right in front of him, the tips of his boots grazing Carl’s own. His gelled hair is curling at the temples and his skin is shiny under his salt and pepper beard, a sheen of perspiration covering the bow of his upper lip and the slight curve at the top of his chin. Negan makes a low sound, between a laugh and a sigh, and Carl’s eye follows the movement of his lips with rapt fascination when he speaks. “Pheew,” he breathes out, sending an exhale of peppermint-sweet air in Carl’s face. “Even in here, it’s hotter than the devil’s asscrack.” Then, unexpectedly, he asks, “Wanna hold her for me?”

There is SO MUCH happening here. Carl and Negan looking at each other and lusting after each other openly (the first time in the fic that it's mutual and not just one-sided), Negan's flex of the hand that shows he's barely restraining himself from grabbing Carl, Carl knowing he should kneel but staying standing because he's becoming aware of the fact that the rules don't apply when it's just him and Negan away from everyone else, Negan asking Carl to hold Lucille (the symbol of his battered heart and erect cock intertwined and wrapped in barbed wire) while he goes to have sex with someone else, so basically asking Carl to hold his heart while he fucks one of the wives...

Negan smirks, teeth flashing, and Carl should know better than to think he can hide the effect Negan has on him. “Thanks. Things might get a lil’ loud in there. Just a heads-up,” he winks. Carl swallows, hard. He is pretty sure the sweat rolling down his face must be sizzling, puffs of steam coming out from his every pore. As if on cue, he feels a plump drop of perspiration trail from his temple, along his chin and down his Adam's apple, before pooling in the hollow of his collarbone. Negan’s gaze, previously light and playful, turns dark and riveted as he gives Carl’s face a long once-over, slowly going down from his sweaty brow to his flushed cheeks and lips before settling on his neck, just above the soaked collar of his t-shirt. His gray eyes stay there for long seconds, transfixed, before Negan suddenly blinks, gaze flicking to the ceiling as he mutters under a raspy breath, “Je-sus.” Carl doesn’t have time to fully grasp what just happened that Negan is already moving, disappearing inside the wives’ apartment with a sharp exhale and a shake of his head. His warm and spicy scent lingers in the air around Carl, thick and heady.

This is one of my favorite moments in this chapter because it's really difficult to write a longing/erotic scene where in fact nothing is happening, especially when I have to tread the line of Carl's pov, of him still being mostly innocent and unaware of what Negan wants to do to him, while at the same time knowing it (as shown in the dirty dream that Carl has right after this moment).

I'm not going to quote the dirty dream, but I did want to have Carl explore his sexual attraction to Negan on his own before any smut happened between them. It felt important to me that Carl had at least some time to accept that he's sexually attracted to Negan, that this anticipation builds, before anything happened. A boy doesn't go from being sexually repressed for four years to jumping into bed with a man 3x his age out of nowhere. (Btw, Carl masturbating while thinking of Negan was inspired by this awesome fic Secret Handshake by Gonfalonier) (I'm realizing now that these re-read posts could also be a great place to rec some Cegan fics. If you like them, do show them some love!)

Now, the beer scene. Not gonna lie, I still have no idea where the inspiration for this one came from but I am SO PROUD of it. It's just the most devious interrogation technique. Negan knows very well what he's doing, that Carl probably never had a drink in his entire life, that he will be affected by the alcohol, less able to think and lie, all of this without touching a single hair on Carl's head.

And of course at the end of the scene is this awesome moment that will haunt Carl again and again:

He keeps his tone casual, but Carl doesn’t miss the dangerous edge in his voice when he asks, “And since when do you take orders from pretty boy Mark?” He opens his mouth but before he can answer, Negan snaps, “Drink.” The bottle is more than half-empty, its taste milder than before, hints of sweetness coating his tongue underneath all the earthy tanginess. It takes Carl a second to remember the question he was asked. “I don’t. I just… I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” The crow’s feet around Negan’s eyes mellow for a brief instant, his expression turning understanding. But it only lasts just that, an instant, before anger takes over once more. He leans forward, towering with all of his height over Carl. His lips brush against Carl’s ear, but there is nothing seductive about it. It’s a warning, plain and simple. “Don’t be soft, it doesn’t fuckin’ suit you,” Negan growls.

It's not just the lie that bothers Negan, but the fact that Carl lied to protect *Mark*, young and fit Mark, who's already charming the pants off Amber and now Carl too. This is the first time that Negan is jealous of another man that Carl interacted with since Shane. After Carl killed Shane, Negan thought all the competition had been eliminated, that he was finally the only man in Carl's orbit, but now he realizes that it's not necessarily true.

The line "don't be soft" especially will come back in part 3 because Carl will never be able to forget it. Negan sees that Carl's lie was not done out of love for Mark but compassion, that Carl has a good heart, and of course it's something that Negan appreciates and admires, but at the same time, it's also something that deeply frightens Negan. Negan associates softness with weakness and, as his talk with Gabriel in the "Big Scary U" episode highlights, he is intent on eradicating weakness: the weakness that made him afraid of killing walkers in the "Here's Negan" flashback episode, the weakness that made him forget to turn the generator back on because he was afraid it would attract walkers and which led to Lucille's medication be ruined, the weakness that let him be captured by the Valaks Vipers biker gang, the weakness that made Lucille kill herself rather than fight cancer... Like Shane, Negan is desperate to turn Carl into a hardened and ruthless killer because they both think it's the only way Carl can survive: by being as merciless and cold as they are, because Negan and Shane have seen too many good and soft people die horrible deaths and they'll be damned if they let this happen to Carl. Negan, like Shane, knows that the real danger is not the walkers or other people, but it's yourself, your own kindness and morals and empathy. Those are the things that get you killed. It's tragic that so much of Shane and Negan's abuse toward Carl is driven by fierce protectiveness and absolute terror at the thought of anything happening to Carl.

This post is far too long already so I'll wrap it up with two scenes: the conversation between Carl and Dwight after Negan left the room, and Negan ironing Mark's face off.

I can't remember if I've said this before but the relationship between Carl and Dwight was really unexpected. I never planned on them bonding but, as I wrote the story and re-watched the episodes about Dwight from canon, it just seemed natural considering all the similarities between them: the disfigured face, the fact that they started as Negan's enemies, that their blind loyalty and devotion to Negan is underpinned by seditious rebellion (Dwight because he let Sherry get away and Carl because he freed Rosita). Dwight often acts as a sort of moral bell tolling for Carl. He's the one reminding Carl of the harsh reality of Sanctuary, of who Negan is. And for all that Carl likes to forget, he has to acknowledge that Dwight is right about everything. There will never be peace at Sanctuary, not in the long term, because Negan's Sanctuary is the product of his grief and anger and desire for revenge after the death of Lucille. The very inception of the place stemmed from the worst parts of Negan, and no matter how much Negan rationalizes it, no matter how many rules he creates to justify Sanctuary's relevance, it will never be freed of the ghosts that haunt it, of the blood and bones it was built on.

I know I talk a lot about the significance of Lucille the bat (Negan's heart and dick wrapped in barbed wire, the most vulnerable symbol of his past turned into his most brutal weapon) but I think Sanctuary holds the same place as an embodiment of the best and worst parts of Negan: the name itself promises refuge, peace, shelter and security, but Negan has fostered an atmosphere of ruthless violence and competition inside it, has kept the workers subdued and turned the Saviors into a feral pack of dogs lashing out against everything and everyone. Like Lucille, Negan's Sanctuary is fenced and weaponized, its boundaries covered in walkers to keep everyone at bay. There's little humanity in Sanctuary, like there's little humanity left in Negan. It's there, but it's faint and it's kept fenced in, tucked away inside an impenetrable fortress. It never ceases to amaze me that with all the resources at his disposal, Negan could have made Sanctuary a place worthy of the name. It's clear he knows how to make a place attractive (his room is glorious in a bachelor pad kind of way, and so are the harem and the room meant for Daryl). But he doesn't. Instead he keeps the factory gloomy and frightening. Because the Sanctuary, like Lucille, was created out of grief and fury. Negan doesn't want to make it hospitable. He wants it to be a punishment on himself and everyone around him.

I'll finish with this glorious line, which encompasses Negan's jealousy, his pettiness, and his reflex to lash out at the people he cares about because he's still, deep down, a wounded animal snapping at everyone who tries to help him:

“Since you like cleaning up after Mark so much, get a mop. Your boy made a mess,” Negan sneers before brushing past him.

Conclusion; tldr: This fic is an oven and I'm turning the temp all the way up. Carl and Negan are terribly horny for each other, but it's all part of the cooking process. Negan is marinating Carl in beer. Carl is having a dreadful time remembering that the man he jerks off to is still a monster. Negan is the most tragic character ever and the Sanctuary is basically the haunted manor in a Gothic Victorian story. Only one chapter left for part 2.