tmasc-confessions

[tmasc-confessions]

I've noticed a pattern emerging in the correlation between how much a trans person hates fellow trans people of other genders and how... just, sad their existence is. I feel like people who aren't absolutely fucking miserable with their own lives don't gleefully engage in lateral transphobia.

[tmasc-confessions]

Actually materially help trans people in hostile territory by donating here

[tmasc-confessions]

im transmasculine, aroace, and autistic. i go by he/they.

as time has gone on and ive gotten older ive learned to adapt a mindset i think a lot of people could use.

its called minding my own damn business.

why should i care that you feel comfortable expressing these things? why should i care if you like going by x, y, or z? are you hurting anyone? no? then awesome, keep going, and have fun.

ive had many cases where all i ended up wanting in the end was for people to leave me the hell alone. for someone to take what i say and tell them to respect at face value and then leave it. for them to be fine without a reason why or my life story. for them to be content with not understanding it.

i think we (the lgbtq+ community) have gotten way to immersed and obsessive over what everyone is doing all the time. we have gotten content in knowing everyone's business. and goddamn does it get annoying.

i hate to be crass, but in the eyes of everyone against us, we are all just queers. we're all the same. there is no "better set" of people. no one is superior to anyone.

i just wish that some people were okay with not caring. i wish people had some semblance of respect and kindness left in their brains.

im just so tired.

- 🍅

I feel like in general everyone cares way too much about everyone else’s shit. ‘S why I’m pro-good faith labels. It’s none of my business why people identify the way they do.

[tmasc-confessions]

for all the talk about how transmascs get treated as "confused little girls" when they come out, nobody seems to acknowledge how we are Also likely to be treated as sexual perverts who corrupt everyone around them. source: my mom treats me (a 17 year old) like some kind of depraved freak and a corrupting influence to my 14yo younger (cis) brother who's trying to "get him" to support me, as if he doesn't already because he's an actually decent human being. but she ALSO acts like my friend (also 17 and transmasc but not out as such, so as far as everyone else is concerned he's a gnc/masc presenting girl) brainwashed me (extremely naive and as such very vulnerable to such predatory advances /s) into believing i'm a man. real "the enemy is both strong and weak" moment, my point being that transphobes will often use whatever shitass logic furthers their current argument regardless of whether it's cohesive or not

Are you sure she’s not just mistaking you for a trans woman and misdirecting transmisogyny onto you anon 🥺 /sarc

In all seriousness god that fucking sucks. I hope you can get away from her soon

[tmasc-confessions]

my boyfriend's birthday is coming soon dude hes so cool and shit and im so fuckin bummed we live so far apart because i want to throw him a big birthday party and take him to the amusement park he likes. he is genuinely the light of my life and god fuck i want to be the light in his too

not much i can do rn except like , fuck idk. draw him smth. bein an online boyfriend is hard ill find a way to make the day awesome

Aweee that’s so sweet. I hope you managed to do something cool !!! It’ll get better I assure you :D

[tmasc-confessions]

I wish i could pass as anything becasue i hate being perceived as androgynous or just a girl. “But anon at least sometimes people don’t know”! Yeah and then they start overtly discussing whether i’m a man or a woman and that makes me dysphoric and inhuman when they scrutinise my features like it’s a game. I try to do everything to pass in the binary and it’s just infuriating. I’d love some tips if you have any.

Yeah I actually kinda get that. I prefer straight up being called a girl than having someone stare at me for thirty minutes before deciding on calling me they. And that’s with a pronoun pin on my bag mind you. 😭

Honestly my passing tips come more from behaviour than appearance. For example, the way men are socialised, they usually aren’t raised expecting to leave space for others. That’s why stuff like manspreading is called that way. Take up more space. Not in a disrespectful way, but don’t just shrink into a corner or stand straight against the wall. Take a wider stance when moving or standing. Hunch over a bit. They aren’t put under anywhere near the amount of scrutiny for their posture, so it’s rarer to see a man casually hanging out with his back straight and his shoulders rolled back. If tou have a “resting bitch face” (god I hate that), good, keep it. Everything you’ve been told isn’t ladylike? Do it.

Again, I have to emphasise, don’t be a dick. Just be comfortable. The best way I can put it is “crossing your legs at your ankles is clocky”.

[tmasc-confessions]

To the woman asking me about being transfemmasc, could you please DM me? I'd much rather try to help privately if I have some more details because it's way too big of a question to answer with such little details. You can dm me on a throwaway too, if you want, but I would rather do it in priv :)

[tmasc-confessions]

it’s like society will die if it doesn’t refer to trans men as women for like. two seconds.

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you: "i'm attracted to a range of trans men"

anon: "WHY don't you like trans women????"

I feel like it's more transphobic of them to assume that a trans woman is just close enough to a man if she's butch enough??

Lmao yeah, kinda had the same thought.

[tmasc-confessions]

you say on your main you are only attracted to trans men and transmasc butch lesbians. why not transfem butch lesbians?

I wish I could tell you. I'm just not. I think it's just something about the specific culture and appearance of transmasculinity that does it for me. It also may just be a matter of me, generally, having a genital preference with very few exceptions (and all of those exceptions being fictional). I thought like, the most basic of knowledge around queerness was that we don't choose what we're attracted to. Also you could've just asked me this on my main you know that right. Why are you asking me this on the gimmick account. Is this by any chance an attempt at transphobejacketing me ?

[tmasc-confessions]

Just wanna say that I love your blog! And also your trans male Chihiro headcanon is so fire.

I hope you have a lovely day/night!!

This is a bit of a late post but good day/night to you too anon :D

[tmasc-confessions]

I feel people claiming talking about transandrophobia is transmisogynistic is so ironic. I'm transmasc, I post and reblog about both issues, and my TRANS WIFE gets heat for... reblogging that stuff from me. People go out of their way to be transmisogynistic to transfems standing up for us, then claim everyone else is the real transmysgonist. Its made me afraid to talk about or reblog things because I know people will target my wife instead for some reason, its unfair how things have been twitsed for this weird agenda to shut down any real discussion on what trans people face on both ends. Ive seen transfems denied their indentiy for standing up for the community, transmascs get silenced more than ever too. Tumblr is a radfem cesspool and its hard to find anyone not willing to turn to transphobia for brownie points

Yeah. It's a shame how we can't stand up for ourselves, but then if trans women come out of the woodworks and start also defending us they get shit flung at them by insane chimpanzees who have nothing better to do but to hate on other transgender people.

[tmasc-confessions]

finding transmasc discord servers is so frustrating because every server is either transfem exclusive or i join it and its like “hey welcome to the server! So glad to have you, we hate black people and also anyone with a disability :)”

Unfortunately true... I'd plug the official account server but it's dead as hell. If anyone has suggestions for transmasc-friendly non-bigoted trans servers, feel free to rt!!

[tmasc-confessions]

This really is just a vent thing, it's got some heavy things. I've got support, but it feels so bad having to always lend grace and be polite about it, so here goes. I've been having a hard, well fucking decade, and it's all culminated recently in terms of real life. Police involvement sort of thing. Violence sort of thing. And there's been community and people supporting me. Older trans people, but also, some friend that are my own age. Most of them are trans women and transfemmes. And one of those people my own age talks like she's fucking spent her last 5 years on 4chan. I'm aware of why. She's been lonely, she's been suffering, she's had mental health problems. But she acts like because she's been helping me and has been a fucking foundation stone for me, I need to lend her grace when she says that transmisandry is stupid. That actually, transphobic discrimination for reproductive rights that involves shit like abortion and pregnancy and so on can't be targeted discrimination against trans men, because trans women also get discriminated by medical professionals. That I get male privilege despite my tits and generally only being perceived by cis people as a weird gender freak thing because I haven't been able to medically transition yet. I get that a lot of it is needing to have her own pain validated, but I'm so fucking done with having to lend grace. I am so done with everything about this bullshit. This is the point where I understand people who desist because leading a cis life seems so much fucking easier. It's fine though. By the end of this year, I'll be getting my testosterone. I've been doing stuff for the community. I just want to be acknowledged by my community too without the condition of being some sort of servile little bitch.

I don't think you need to lend grace to everyone. Sometimes, it's just time to cut people off if they're doing you more harm than good. I don't see a way that this will be getting any better soon if she is actively insisting on speaking over you as a non-transman on issues specifically concerning trans men. She sounds like a sucky "friend".

[tmasc-confessions]

I'm a bit annoyed about the different standards that people (mainly pericis people, though obviously people in any part of the trans community can also have these opinions) have for trans men/mascs and trans women/fems. vent/rant.

I've seen so many people say it's fine for trans women to not want to befriend/be near men (both cis and trans, perisex and intersex). I've seen nothing about trying to actively recover from the trauma that caused it.

But then I know that, like other trans men have done, if I mention that I'm wary around women (trans, cis, intersex and perisex (though online I'm more comfortable around intersex women as an intersex cistransman, cistransfeminine kind of)) frrom trauma.. and would immediately be told I'm mentally ill & need therapy & I'm a horrible person & a misogynistic shithead. I'm actively trying to recover & go to therapy to cure myself of this distrust. I don't LIKE being distrustful of women. I don't LIKE that my trauma has caused me to be distrustful of women. I don't LIKE that if I talk about the abuse I suffered at the hands of a trans woman would be labelled as "a whiny tme transmisogynist".

I advocate for the rights of all women. I surround myself with positive fem influences. I actively keep myself uncomfortable to try and fix this problem. But speaking about it would get me labeled as a horrible person, and probably as a fake transman who actually is just a cis girl wanting to transition away from misogyny.

You're doing well in going to therapy. I generally think that having preconceived notions around sexes or genders is odd and undesirable, so I agree that the double standard is insane. It's good that you're working on that. I wish you well in your journey of recovery. :)

[tmasc-confessions]

cw mention of transandrophobia and transandrophobia through sexualisation being ignored by transandrophobes, plus the dumb intersexist TME/A binary.

I made a post on transandrophobes claiming that trans men&mascs can't say tranny, and how I'd experienced direct bigotry, with bigots physically and verbally assaulting me while calling me a tranny, as a trans boy (i technically prefer trans man but I am a minor (around 13-15) so I use boy in the post).. and someone, who for some reason decided this was a normal thing to say to a minor and would totally prove their cause... told me to look at the google video results for tranny (all porn, obviously) (also I did NOT go through being sexualised for being trans as a minor just for people to fucking act like ""TME"" people can't get sexualised (i don't believe the TMA/TME binary. I'm intersex and don't actually fit into it, but they'd claim I'm tme for being a trans man.) as if the search results for trans boys aren't sexual..)

Crazy how someone's basis for activism is telling children to look up pornography. Wild. Insane. Almost like they're a pedophile, oh wait!

[tmasc-confessions]

my parent tries to guilt me by telling me about the time i called them transphobic but.. they were threatening to not call me MY name soo??

also got told they'd throw me in foster care because i said that was bad to say!! when they know damn well i have such bad abandonment issues i beg them not to leave me multiple times a day!!!!!

i wish i was born a man so they'd treat me like one and not degender me constantly.

That sucks, I'm sorry you're going through that anon