#another day another thing to be extremely anxious about :)))
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polariscroquis · 2 days ago
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I'm not from the US, but this affects a lot of people and it got me feeling extremely desperate and anxious during the night.
But when I woke up this morning, I thought "many years ago, people survived fascism, nazism, suppression of minority rights, a world war, conservative governments - they fought against them, they resisted, they stood up for their rights and got to where we are today. No matter what happens, humanity has survived this kind of shit and the world won't end. It'll be difficult and dangerous, but it won't end. We can resist and we can survive - and in a few years, just like those people who survived this kind of shit before, it'll look like a distant evil. If the people like me decades ago survived, I can survive too."
I know it isn't the most comforting of thoughts, but it gave me peace. We'll have to be strong, stick together and survive, but history shows us that eventually governments and evil people like this fall and WE go on. History shows it'll be alright - with a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but it'll be alright.
On another note, what I learned from my fave rock/metal bands from the 70's/80's: now is the time to make our art gayer, counter this conservative/fascist/whatever you want to call culture, more feminist, more sexual, more EVERYTHING that is against what it's gonna be shoved down our throats as righteous. That's what art is for and the more I see things about the 80's, the more I understand that relasing the songs we listen today as normal was a HUGE scandal that people tried to censor back in the day.
We're gonna be alright. Keep doing your art, keep fighting back and stand up for your rights. Stay safe and remember: people before us have gone through this kind of shit and they are alright. We'll be alright too.
So, I guess as a middle range millennial, I now get to tell all you young queer kids that what you are feeling right now is exactly how it felt in 2004 when we re-elected George Bush, and not only that but many states put in bans against gay/same sex marriage at the time.
This is probably not comforting, but it is true, and it helps me when I feel hopeless: For every revolution there is a counter revolution, for every step forward there is a step back, that things may not be good forever but they will not be bad, either. That we clawed our way to get where we are and we can claw our way forward from here, too. Talk to your queer elders, the ones who have been here before and will be here again and who threw bricks at Stonewall.
When I was a child, if you got AIDS it was a death sentence. Now it isn't. Now you live on.
So I'll quote angels in america: You are fabulous creatures, each and every one. And I bless you: More Life. The Great Work Begins.
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onrainynights · 28 days ago
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I'm about to be so annoying btw
#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys#but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS#shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE#like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need#like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them#the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure#the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally#nobody else#for most of my workday#like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake#of work#like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please#I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited#plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay#I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice#definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao#he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious#and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too#she's just filling in here while they look for another manager#but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer#employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible#but this seems better so far#also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice#that she didn't even wait to decide or anything#she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol#which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE
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mintyvoid · 4 months ago
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so i'm debating on whether to get a lingual frenectomy(aka tongue tie surgery) done, I was offered to do myotherapy but plateaued hard after a few months(been almost a year now). And the myotherapist working with me and I realized it's cause I have like a low gr 2 tongue tie. I never noticed lol, it's mostly only noticeable because my tongue sits low, I don't swallow properly(tongue thrust) and the floor of my mouth rise a shit ton when I raise my tongue.
but god I am so terrified of surgery in general.
like my tongue tie isn't that bad, and I am just really afraid of either losing mobility or getting a nerve nicked and losing feeling forever. or the other various things that can go wrong.
but i could also get MORE mobility, have an easier time speaking and better embouchure and ability to swing quick lyrics(quick lyric songs are sooo much fun lol)
it doesn't help that a majority of online chatter is from those where something DID go wrong. So I imagine there is a lot more where nothing went wrong.
doesn't stop the fear though, if I lose mobility/feeling it would be devastating. I still want to voice act and sing and play instruments, it would kill a part inside me if I lose the ability to. Just how if I'm unable to art it would just ruin my life.
so i dunno if it's worth the risk :I
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sincerity--extreme · 1 year ago
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There's nothing I want more than to be able to get a job in order to finally be able to move out, no one believes it because of how I... am in general, but I really really want that
#I've wanted this for years#but I've had some realizations today#stuff I should've known but maybe my brain was trying to protect me#or maybe I was just stupid#but either way now I know I need it more than anything#and it hurts to know that the probability of me getting it is so tiny#I'm almost 26 with 0 experience#can't talk on the phone#can't talk to strangers#extremely anxious about everything#emotionally unstable to the point of being a complete different person at a random time of the day if I get too anxious or stressed out#I go nonverbal randomly#dissociate under extreme stress#long story short I'm a terrible employee so who would hire me?#I wouldn't hire me#0 experience and 0 talent#at least not good at anything actuallyuseful#only slightly remarkable thing about me is being able to speak read and write in another language which is rare in my country cause#idk#many reasons#but that's the only useful thing I'm good at but because it's just that and the lack of experience I can't get anything#and I've tried freelance but never got a single thing there#everyone keeps telling me to try freelance and I've tried for so long but I just can't make it work#people I know managed to do it#and they're doing exactly what I tried to do#and not trying to be mean or anything but in that specific thing I'm better than them but I guess being more social gives you the win#all I've ever succeeded in life was at failing at everything I've wanted and tried since I finished high school#and that doesn't give you a paycheck#unfortunately
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landosjpg · 4 months ago
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risk | ln
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lando norris x teammate!reader
the one where you find your crush with someone else.
word count: ~1.0k
warnings: just a little bit of angst with happy ending
note: based on this request. i haven’t written anything longer than 500 words in so long so bare with me please, i hope this is good enough :) reader is a driver but it doesn’t play a big role on the story/is only mentioned like once or twice!
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you felt anxious, the nerves eating you alive as you lied in the darkness of your hotel room. you knew it was normal, in only a few hours you would be on your way to your first ever home race as a formula 1 driver.
but you also needed sleep, and as hard as you tried, nothing seemed to put your mind at ease, your mind just going back to making up every possible scenario of what would happen as you stepped in the car the very next day. the good, and also the bad.
after hours of tossing and turning around in bed, you desperately sighed: there was only one thing that could help you relax. someone.
cozied up in your pajamas you silently made your way out of your room and walked down the corridor to lando’s room. you knew he was, most likely, still awake despite of the late hour, well aware of his bad sleeping habits.
while most people thought your relationship was merely professional, during the previous months lando and you had grown extremely close to each other. too close, some would say.
countless nights, you had spent hours in each other’s rooms, trying your best not to wake up the whole building with your laughter. and most of those nights had finished with your limbs tangled with his under the thin blankets, whispered conversations and lingering touches lulling you to sleep.
you weren’t sure where your relationship really stood; every time you took a step forward, it seemed like you went back another three the next morning, the few moments of intimacy quickly forgotten as soon as the sun came up.
but he was the only person around who could make you forget about all your worries in just a few minutes, so you knocked on his door, hoping to not wake anyone up.
you heard his voice on the other side of the wall, but you couldn’t quite understand his words. only a few seconds later, the door swung open, a dishevelled lando standing before you.
“hey,” he greeted you in a whisper.
“hey,” you repeated, trying to catch on the undertone of his voice. normally, he would had pulled you inside already.
“i wasn’t expecting you to come.”
“i…” you started explaining, your words cut off by a figure walking out of the bathroom. your eyes widened and you took a step back. “oh my god, sorry. i didn’t know you were… i’m just gonna…” you said, slowly walking back.
you heard lando sigh and close the door as you made your way to your room again, your chest tightening at the realization. You had completely misunderstood your relationship with him, and now you felt stupid.
you crawled under your sheets with a heavy heart, and as much as you tried to think about something else, the image wouldn’t leave your mind.
the soft knock on your door only a few minutes later startled you and still with a blanket wrapped around your body, you made your way to open.
what you hadn’t expected was to find lando in front of you again, leaning against the doorframe.
“can I come in?” he straight up asked, his eyes analyzing your form.
“I thought you were…”
“she just left,” he cut you off, rising his eyebrow as if to ask you again to let him in. you stepped aside, inviting him inside and closing the door behind him.
“i’m really sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” your voice was almost a whispered, embarrassed every time the scene played in your mind again.
“you didn’t,” he said, taking a sit on the edge of your bed. “you’ve been crying?”
no,” you quickly lied, shyly drying your cheeks with the back of your hand.
“your eyes are red,” he tried to ignore your gesture, but curiosity got the best of him.
“i’m just tired and can’t fall asleep,” you weren’t fully lying.
“mind if i..?” he mumbled, leaning back on the mattress.
He didn’t have to finish his sentence; you already knew what words followed: mind if i stay the night?
And normally, you would have giggled and told him that he didn’t even have to ask, but this time it felt different.
“i don’t think your girlfriend would like that,” you said before you could even think about your words.
an amused chuckled left his lips, “is that jealousy i hear?”
your cheeks heated up at his question, embarrassment growing inside you. and you couldn’t answer, too scared to mess up again.
“we didn’t do anything,” he explained, a softness in his eyes as he looked at you. “realized I would rather spend my time with someone else.”
your heart skipped a beat at the implications behind his words, silence falling hard between the two of you.
“really?” you finally managed to quietly ask.
he patted the spot next to him on the mattress, silently asking you to join him, “you’re that oblivious, huh?” he chuckled.
slowly, you made your way closer to him, his hands reaching for your body as soon as you were at arm’s length; his hands were hooked at your hips and he pulled you into him, standing in between his legs.
he looked up at you, a sly smile spread on his lips when your hands rested on his shoulders.
“you’re not just saying that, are you?” you questioned again, not completely sure of if he was just playing with you.
“don’t be silly,” he shook his head. “i’m actually crazy about you.”
your fingers found home in his curls, softly running a hand through his hair as your gaze met his, “what does this mean for us then?” your voice came out in a nervous whisper.
“i don’t know,” he answered in the same low tone. “but i’d really love to kiss you right now.”
your breath hitched at the statement, and you only could give him a slight nod of your head before he closed the gap between your lips, freeing you from all the worries that had been tormenting you for hours.
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dixonsgirl93 · 3 months ago
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What Daryl Dixon would be like in a relationship:
I can’t remember if I’ve done one of these before or something similar but oh well
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Looking at how he was with Connie, he’d be a lot more smiley with you. Just seeing your face, knowing you’re safe and happy is what keeps him going.
He loves your laugh, no matter what it sounds like. Your happiness warms his heart. Even better if he’s the one to make you laugh.
He loves just touching you. Holding your hand, touching your lowerback as you walk, when you’re alone he’ll trace his fingers over your arms and back.
He’s extremely protective but not to the point you feel suffocated. If you wanted to go on a run he won’t stop you but he will make it known to you that he wants you back safe, even going so far as to almost threaten who you’re going with that you make it home to him.
He’s also more anxious each day, that you’ll be taken from him in some way. He can’t stand the idea but sometimes it’s all he can think about. You have to keep reassuring him that you aren’t going anywhere.
At first he was worried about another man trying to steal you away, always having an eye on you incase they tried anything on you. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you, just that maybe they’d be successful at luring you away somehow.
He’d teach you how to use his crossbow, letting you wear his wings and even riding his bike with him behind you.
He doesn’t care if you guys don’t have sex regularly, even if you didn’t have it ever again. He enjoys it with you of course but he’d never pressure you, only ask if you were feeling okay.
He’d be rubbish in the bedroom, let’s be honest. You’d have to teach him, show him how to make love. He’d take every lesson to heart, wanting to make you happy.
He loooooooves going down on you. It’s his favourite thing. The first thing he learned how to do well and he cannot get enough.
I feel like he’d eventually be comfortable enough with you to be really chatty, talking about the old days with Merle or some random story that just came to him and you’d listen because he feels so comfortable and safe with you.
If something were to happen, and you broke up or if you died, he’d never move on from that. Anyone after you would be a pale comparison to you, no matter how hard he might try to move on.
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thesilmarillionblog · 5 months ago
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𓏲 𓂃 L o s i n g Y o u
Part: 10
Click here to read the first part.
Summary: Everything was good as a member of Payback and Soldier Boy's secret girlfriend until the team and your relationship with him began to fall apart due to a new member and her developing relationship with Ben right in front of your eyes.
Pairing: Soldier Boy / Reader
Warnings: heavy angst, hurt, language, Soldier Boy gets hurt, PTSD, mention of drugs, mention of torture, reader gets hurt
Word Count: 4245
A/N: English is not my first language.
♩ This is the song of the chapter, 'Alone and Together' by No Clear Mind.
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When Ben sat down on the bed and waited, neither of you said anything or did anything for a while. You hated how he still treated you, so you turned your back on him while closing your eyes and avoiding the heavy feeling in your heart. You wanted to let things go, but you also felt like you had a lot to say to him about how deeply his actions had wounded you and how much you still suffered. You stayed mute because you knew that talking about it would only make things worse and give him the impression that you still cared.
All you longed for was for him to see how much his acts had hurt and pained you and to realize just how selfish he was. But you eventually realized that Ben wasn't someone who would actually listen to you, even for a brief moment. Even if you decided to give him another chance and let him get close to you again, he would still hurt you without considering the consequences or your feelings; therefore, it was best to let the past die in the past and leave memories of both joy and sorrow behind. These blissful days would never return.
You were ruminating so much that you shifted on the bed until your chest reached the edge, making it obvious that you didn't want to come into contact with him. Ben seemed to pause due to your behavior. 
“I don't bite,” he said, annoyed that you were making every effort to avoid him. This ended the quiet that lingered between you. “You can come a little closer. Sleep comfortable.” 
“I am comfortable.”
He sighed with annoyance as he made his way to the bed. Ben considered drawing a little closer to you, but he quickly dismissed this idea. You would become upset based on your response to his touch and your fragile attitude. Even though he didn't know you were in his thoughts at all times, he felt extremely hungry and affectionate toward you ever since he woke up. And though every cell in his body was screaming to be near you, to touch you, and to hold you close to him, the realization that you didn't feel the same way made him feel a little insecure—a feeling he wasn't used to experiencing in his connection with you.
He whispered, “You'll fall there,” in an attempt to persuade you.” I'm not going to touch you.” Again.
“It won't hurt if I fall, though.” In an attempt to find some solace, you took the entire blanket from him and placed it between your thighs. “I'm a supe too, remember?” you exclaimed. 
Ben leaned down at the head of the bed, his veiny and powerful arms supporting his head while he stared at his bare chest and tried not to smile when you took the blanket away from him a little too firmly. 
He abruptly muttered, “I'm sorry,” in a dry voice, trying to start a conversation while he continued to glance at your back and listen to your quiet, gentle heartbeats. 
“For what?”
How should he respond? For shoving you into the bed, sucking your nipples, kissing you out of the blue, and attempting to fuck you like a wolf in heat? Taking a big breath, he folded his arms across his chest and scowled, not knowing quite what to say. He didn't used to talk to you like this since you weren't that far away from him before he screwed things up. 
You attempted to contain your rage and kept your eyes closed because you didn't want to get into another fight with Ben, and you knew how sensitive his nerves were. You were also feeling a little anxious about his new, unpredictable abilities.
“Just don't do it again,” you simply said, trying to sound calm but firm. “I am serious, Ben.”
He wanted to argue, but he was at a loss for words. He answered, “Of course,” in a low voice, knowing that he shouldn't have behaved in that manner before speaking with you in an appropriate way.
Ben knew you moved too much when you slept, so even though he wanted to be near you, he went to the edge of the bed to give you enough room to make you feel comfortable and sleep in peace. While he listened to your calm breathing and watched as you swiftly fell off to sleep, he reminisced on your shared memories and felt sorrow for all that had happened between you, including how much he had messed up. He realized it would be difficult to win back your trust, but he knew he would do everything in his power to do so. He just didn't know how.
This morning, just after changing into your new clothes in the restroom, you ate breakfast quietly as Butcher and his buddies talked about Vought and the Seven. When Annie began to dispute with Butcher and Hughie, you did not interrupt them—in contrast to Ben, who was also having arguments with Butcher—and instead concentrated on your meal. 
“I'm just saying consuming those Temp-V's doesn't sound safe, and you're forcing Hughie to inject it in himself too,” Annie pointed to Hughie's face as he attempted to eat breakfast quietly.
Hughie stated, “He's not pressuring me. I'm taking Temp-V on my own initiative, and I find it to be really helpful,” he said quietly. Annie shot him a cold stare, which instantly caused him to stop talking. 
“Why the fuck are you all attacking me?” Butcher spoke while lifting his arms. “Temp-V is absolutely secure. It only grants us superpowers for a full day. Is there any damage in this” 
“Oh my god,” Annie muttered, irritated with Butcher's impetuous behavior. “Don't you think it's a bit atypical to play with your DNA that fluently?” 
“So what?” Annie was cut off by Ben's stern voice. “Even if it harms their biology, it's not wrong to use it since it's better to die than to live like a weak pussy.”
Butcher instantly agreed with Ben: “Soldier Boy's got a point,” and he gave Hughie a tight squeeze. “Besides, we are just a bunch of annoying losers against the Seven and Vought. You have to find them more for us because we need to use all of this trash. I don't want to shatter your little heart, love, but all you do is consume up my electricity, and right now we are outnumbered against them.”
Annie's jaw tightened as she glanced at Butcher, her eyes suddenly brightening with a deep shade of yellow. 
“Maybe your electricity can be useful at some points; what do you say?”
“Hey,” Butcher grinned at her and added, “Let's not spoil our family meeting. Stay calm. That's not how you keep your man, right?”
Hughie put his hand Annie's and softly said, “Can we talk about this later?”
Annie sighed angrily, shoving Hughie's hand away from her and getting to her feet, adding, “You know, I need to go, and we'll definitely talk about this again.”
As Butcher said Annie farewell before leaving the house after their argument, you and Ben were observing their facial expressions. Hughie looked at Ben, irritated, as he took his phone from him and began to play with it. You weren't asking anything, but you were occasionally peering in,om him even though you were rather interested in what he was doing with the phone. 
“We need two phones just like this one.” Ben abruptly said, “One for her, one for me,” holding up the device to Butcher's face. 
“Are you a teenager obsessed with technology?” He was instantly teased by Butcher, who gave him one of his nasty smiles. 
Ben looked at Hughie, who was kindly asking for his phone back, and said, “If you are not going to give us two phones, I'm going to take this,” but Ben wasn't even paying attention to Hughie at all. 
“Alright, we'll get your phones. Could you please return mine to me?” 
With a quick motion, you grabbed the phone out of Ben's hand and delivered it to Hughie while smiling. With a look of graditude on his face, he returned your shy smile. 
Ben said, glaring at Butcher's face, “Today,” giving Hughie no attention. 
“Alright,” Butcher agreed. “We'll buy your phones today and make sure you two watch the best porn and make yourself busy, alright?”
“Ben is a man of actions; he likes to screw every kind of woman in real life,” you sarcastically remarked, grimaced at Butcher's remarks and folding your arms over your chest. 
Ben immediately asserted, “I don't,” and you asked Butcher, “Can we already move to the place we're going to stay in?” without giving him the chance to respond to you. 
“Sure, sweetie, but let me have my breakfast in peace, and then we can leave.”
You watched the TV and the news until Butcher and the others finished their meal, which was less than an hour ago. You looked for any updates regarding Earving, but there was nothing at all. Everything on every channel was Homelander and political crap. 
You could tell he was a dangerous man by the way he used language, his professionalism in interviews, and his controlled facial expression. It appeared that Vought had discovered the ideal obedient superhero that fit their preferences.
Ben quietly murmured, “Hey, we're leaving,” as you were lost in idleness. 
You nodded to him, got up, and watched him pick up his shield from where he'd put it yesterday on the corner. That was the moment you realized you had never really used your powers. Since you weren't safe at all and you weren't sure whether you were experiencing any hidden side effects like Ben, you realized you wanted to exercise as soon as possible.
After leaving Kimiko and Frenchie at home, Butcher and Hughie took you to the place where you and Ben will be living for a while. Hughie kindly assisted you in learning how to use the phones that Butcher had purchased for you and Ben. You learned how to make calls easily, at least. Ben had complained that you just required his number and that no one else's was needed, but you disregarded him and asked Hughie to record everyone's number on your phone.
While you were looking over the house, Ben placed his shield in a corner. Despite its small size, you felt safer there than you would in the city since it was isolated. The smell of this place, which was like a forest, finally helped you to relax after the sickeningly heavy and dirty air of the city center.
Butcher put his hand in his pocket and stated, “You're just going to stay here for a while until me and my boys sort things out with the Vought and until you are a bit forgotten by the angry people of America. I'm telling you, though, don't leave the house. If you do, I'll know. I will occasionally check on you.”
“Go suck a friend's balls and make sure he puts his jizz in your empty mouth.” Ben scowled in frustration, set down the closest coach, and put his hands behind his head. “All you do is talk for fucks sake.”
Cursing him back in a mocking manner, Butcher dragged you into a corner and said, “You seem like a more reasonable supe than him, don't you? You should
stay inside the house, dear. I mean it. You have all you need here, and it's a pretty safe location. I will come see how you're doing.”
“Alright, alright.” You nodded to him after glancing at Ben, who had already begun watching TV, but you knew that he was keeping his ears on Butcher and you. “But what will happen afterwards?”
“You hand that off to your teammate and me. There are a lot of things to do here, and you'll have time to think about your future.”
“I just don't want to get sucked into something dangerous; I'm not a bad person, and I've already gone through a lot.” It felt uncomfortable to share your anxieties with him, but you knew you had to be clear from the beginning and that they needed to understand you.
“I don't even know how to fix things between myself and this country,” you added, crossing your arms over your chest. “And no offense, but I don't trust you and your friends at all.”
Ben grimaced as he heard your intimate conversation with Butcher, during which you confided your anxieties to him. Given that you had known one another for a long time, had an extensive amount of memories, and experienced similar experiences, he ought to have been the one with whom you opened up about everything. The idea that you would trust a complete stranger—someone you had just met—irritated Ben. He should have been to one you opened yourself. It was something else Ben needed to solve with you. 
Ben also knew that, as long as you were with him, nobody could hurt you. He would never be tricked again, and that is the sole reason he was captured. He would ensure that no one, not even himself, could ever hurt you again. 
“You have no other chance but to trust me and my boys though, right? Why being so ungrateful? I'm taking of you two well enough,” said Butcher with a sly smirk and gave you squeeze to your shoulder shortly just before he left the house.
None of you spoke as Butcher left the house, but after a while, you felt his heavy eyes on you as he shifted postures on the couch and watched the TV in silence.
Ben listened to you while you were taking a shower when he grew tired of watching television. Although he wasn't intentionally focusing on you, his supe hearing was drawn to you while you were around. He was compelled to listen to every sound you made. He couldn't deny that your presence soothed him either. Ben didn't care what the reason was as long as you were with him at that particular moment, which might have been anything different, something deeper, or the fact that you were the only person he actually trusted. He knew what you had was special.
You returned to the room after a long shower, changed into clean, gratefully new clothes, and saw him pour whiskey into his glass. You wondered whether his body could withstand a day without drugs or alcohol. 
“Why are you looking in such a way?” Ben took a sip of his drink and asked in a lighthearted manner. “I'm curious about what you're thinking right now.”
“I was wondering if you could just give up drinking or using drugs for a single day,” you asked, getting annoyed that he seemed okay with everything. happening. 
“I survived for decades without using them, sweetie,” he murmured, instantly putting an evil grin on his face. 
You changed the topic and said in a low voice, “Do you think they'll trick us? They can easily fill this house with the same gas that made us sleep for ages.”
Ben instantly stiffened up and felt aggressive as he considered the idea of being betrayed by teammates once more and returning to the lab in Russia. When he considered the years he wasted and the treachery he had experienced—years without you—it was difficult to contain his rage. 
He filled his glass once more and remarked, “They might try.” His eyes remained fixed on yours. “I doubt they would dare do such a thing. They really want that Homelander guy dead and are most likely attempting to kill that man for a very long period, but it seems that they ultimately fall unsuccessful.”
You shivered and felt uneasy when he brought about Homelander, and you whispered, “There has to be a reason why they can't handle a single supe, Ben.”
“Of course,” he said without hesitation. “They are just some weak, useless piece of shitbags, that's it, and that's why they need me.” 
“I watched Homelander, that man, on TV. He is undoubtedly skilled at manipulating the public and the media, and in today's society, power seems to be much more significant.”
“Remember what Butcher said: People easily forget, and they'll forget him as well when they realize he's not the strongest supe at all.” 
You scowled in annoyance at seeing Ben had no longer cared about the world or how things were working at all. You didn't know if he was up to something or whether he simply didn't give a damn other than killing Homelander. 
“Ben, I don't believe that getting rid of Homelander will resolve anything from our side. Can't you see how everyone hates me and you at the moment? If you attack Homelander and Vought, things will only become worse.” You replied angrily, annoyed by Ben's careless demeanor, “Butcher and his crew just want to use you against him.”
As he argued with you, Ben let go of the empty glass he was holding and sighed as he observed your annoyance growing. He trusted your strength, but at some point, he became uneasy about your vulnerability.
Ben vowed to destroy Vought and all Seven members when he was set free that day and began searching for you. He understood that the only way to get things going right would be to resolve the issue between you, him, and Vought. He would take over the whole company and form his own new team, proving to the world that he was the strongest supe and that nobody could stop him. In that way, he would be protecting you most importantly. For the time being, though, it was better the less you knew.
Ben said in a determined voice, “I won't let anything happen to you,” as he came nearer to you. Despite being too close and yearning to touch you, he refrained from doing so. “I would never let someone hurt you ever again.”
With a heavy heart, you whispered, “The only one who hurt me was you, Ben,” stepping back and creating some distance. Everything you wanted to say to his face was eating you alive, and you felt like you would blow out at any moment. “It seems like you didn't take any lessons from your mistakes, and you're going to make me drown with you again.”
He said, “I made a deal with Butcher,” ignoring your comments as he saw the sorrowful, icy look on your face. “I promised him that I would help him kill Homelander, and he would help me save you. A deal is a deal.”
Ben wanted you to know that he wasn't just going to break his word; in fact, what he was doing was for you. He was so desperate to find you that day that he was willing to kill Vought's top supe and everyone in a heartbeat. 
“Since when are you so keen on keeping your word?” You asked in a bitter voice. 
Ben was ready to tell you not to think about the past, but he stopped himself because he knew it would hurt and infuriate you even more. Instead, he whispered, “Since right now,” softly, and he slowly stepped forward to confront you. He simply knew it was time to have some conversation. “Look, I know what happened between us in the past wasn't just right, and I wasn't fair to you, but let me fix things.”
Perplexed by his words, you said, “Let you fix things?” Remembering every horrible thing he had done to you, your heart began to rush with hurt and despair, and he was still unable to truly apologize. “Ben, you abandoned me after cheating on me with Crimson. How can you fix something like that? Talking things out can help clear up misunderstandings, but not that.” 
He muttered, “I was wrong about everything and about you,” not knowing how to express how he felt. He found it much more difficult to open up when he saw the disappointed and cold expression in your eyes. “I cared about you a lot; I've always had, and now too. I didn’t know back then, but now I do.”
Ben didn't make a single effort to even slightly touch you, but he was too close to touch you again. For an instant, Ben's gaze lingered on your hands, his heart shattered by the longing to embrace and caress you. He never imagined you would be this different, but here you were. 
This time, you spoke gently, understanding that Ben was simply too blind to really see the damage that he had caused. “I don't think you'll even understand your actions, Ben,” you murmured. 
He opened his lips to say something, but you cut him off right away. “I gave you everything I could, Ben: loyalty, friendship, love, innocence, understanding... I never asked for anything in return. I accepted and loved you as you were.” 
You spoke softly, focusing your attention on his deep emerald eyes and hoping he could understand you. “I gave you everything I had, but you kept what we had concealed from everyone, made me feel like I was a rat, and I never once complained—you already know that I supported the choice you made from the start. When you proposed that our connection be kept secret, I mistakenly assumed that you were protecting me from Vought and everyone else. This was foolish of me, and I held onto this belief all the way to the end.”
Ben listened to you with a pained expression as you talked about the things that hurt you the most, finally.
You continued after a little period of silence between you, stating, “You acted as though you cared for me when we first met, when we were by ourselves. You threw me aside when Countess showed up, kicked me from the squad, and then you tried to bring me back. I attempted to make amends for whatever I had done, despite the harm you had done to me, believing that my actions were the cause of your behavior. However, you continued to ignore me, failing to recognize the true colors of her.”
The image of Crimson's face struck Ben's heart with rage. If he had simply killed her on the first day, none of this would have happened.
He whispered, “I know I should have listened to you, I wish I could turn back time,” cutting you off. “But you must know I never loved her.”
Ben was unsure of his feelings for you, but he knew he had never loved Crimson and never felt anything at all for her. All he knew was that he needed you by his side and that he cared passionately for you. Your presence filled his body and soul with warmth and comfort. It didn't matter the name of whatever he felt about you and what you shared; it was something deeper and more special than anything someone could share with another. At least he knew that for sure.
You gently answered in an understanding tone, “I know, Ben,” knowing that he would never cease to love anyone including you.
You came to the realization after all those years that nothing, not even giving your life for him, could win his affection. You used to think that if you gave him everything you had, there would be a way to win his heart. Nevertheless, nothing would be sufficient to win his love.
His gloved fingers, a tiny glimmer of hope in his heart, only lightly touched yours to gauge how comfortable you were with it. “I know I caused you so much pain you never ever deserved, and I'm sorry for everything I have done to you,” in a sincere voice. “But give me a chance to fix everything. All I want is you and your trust.”
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿
“And I forgive you, Ben. For everything you have done,” you sincerely said, giving a nod to him, understanding that there was no going back and that what was done was done. “But my love is gone.”
Next Chapter
A/N: I don’t know how this is even going, but here we are. Kind of feeling insecure and hate writing nowadays to be honest. Comments and reblogs are very appreciated. They keep me going. Take care. “-“
*Losing You series masterlist is here.
Taglist: @mostlymarvelgirl @xmariakx @spnfamily-j2 @suspicious-stain-in-spain @atomicsoulcollecto @yvonneeeee @starryperson @mfnqueen1 @chaand-sitara @boywivlove @stilinskisthings @brynanna @delaynew @yoyoanaria @n-o-p-e-never @ghostslillady @certifiedhaters @deans-spinster-witch @demodemo909 @stoneyggirl2 @cheynovak @libby99hb @moneyburner @jenn-777q @hey-there0-0
Let me know if you want to be tagged for this series. -`♡´-
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wheneclipsefalls · 20 days ago
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Tawtute Sickness (A Precious Drabble)
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Pairing: Adult Ao'nung x Hyperfeminine Human Reader
This one shot is from the Precious series. It can be read alone but reading the Precious origin story gives a better experience and context.
Summary: There is still so much that Ao'nung does not understand about Sky People so with your cycle running off track, he is in for quite a surprise.
Warnings: MDNI, explicit talk of menstruation, talk of blood, hormones, hurt/comfort, misunderstanding, dominant Ao'nung, interspecies relationship, aged up Ao'nung, crying, self doubt, insecurity, protective Ao'nung, swearing, PMS, sexual themes, etc.
A/N: This is just a random little fun something I thought of when I was on my period. Nothing like a silly fantasy to help one cope:)
Adult Ao'nung pic by @cinetrix
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Another cramp rolls through you mercilessly. With a groan you stuff a handful of stolen popcorn into your mouth. Surrounded by a small parade of stuffed animals atop your bed and drowning in the charm that is Mr. Darcy, there is no better place to take refuge. Your period has sprung into action earlier than expected but you’re proud of how things have been handled. 
It had taken copious amounts of bribery to convince Norm to deliver an excuse to Ao’nung as to why you can’t see him for a bit. Although double his age and even in possession of an Avatar body, Norm has always crumpled slightly under Ao’nung’s presence. Even as his visits have become more frequent at the outpost. The sight makes you giggle, no matter how hypocritical that is considering you too were anxious in his company for the first few weeks here. 
Despite the time that has passed since feelings were shared between the two of you, there is still a level of intimidation and intensity that comes with Ao’nung’s visits. He is never shy when it comes to sharing his opinions. Half the time it is hard to tell what will come out of the Metkayina male’s mouth next. Although, there are ways to identify the mischief that dances in his ocean blue eyes before. 
And neither is he bashful when it comes to sharing his particularly ravenous intentions with you. You would not be able to count on both hands the amount of times you’ve tried to swat his hands away while the two of you are in public. Not that it deters him. With a potential mating on the way it’s clear that the Metkayina prince views you as his own. Even in the extreme heights of embarrassment you can’t resist the wonders that he bestows upon your body. Always leaving your heart pounding at your rib cage and red face tucking under his chin afterwards. 
So in a way, you can’t blame Norm for never growing accustomed to Ao’nung’s company.
Regardless, the alibi has been sent and you’ve foraged for the proper snacks and feminine supplies to get your through. Now all that’s left to do is tuck into your room like a locked away princess in a tower and survive the next five days. Everything is going according to plan despite the sudden arrival of ‘Aunt Flow’. And in a few days you will be back snuggled in the impressively bulky arms of a certain Metkayina male. 
With a sigh you snuggle deeper into the plush surface. Despite the risk of stains you’ve allowed yourself the luxury of wearing one of your favorite pajama sets. It’s a dusted pink shade of silk that reminds you of the vintage film Sleeping Beauty. With the soft trim of purple lace along the sleeve and shorts hem, you feel like a delicate princess waiting to be rescued. Perhaps a foolish and even childish way to cope but it’s easier to get through the pain when you blur the harsh lines of reality into that of day dreams. 
However, it seems reality will not be kept out for long.
Or at least, Ao’nung won’t be.
You hear his pounding footsteps before he even reaches your hallway, the faint echo of Norm’s protests doing nothing to stop that determined rhythm. Norm scatters away once Ao’nung has pushed your door open, with a little too much force that makes you cringe. It’s an under evaluation of his strength luckily and not rooted in any real malice. Not when his eyes now narrow at you with a playful reprimand as his tail swings. 
“What have I said about avoiding me, precious?” He clicks his tongue, hands atop his hips as you scramble further under the pillows and stuffies. 
You feel foolish for thinking this plan would work but now that Ao’nung is here you are ready to do whatever it takes to conceal your embarrassing condition. 
“Not to.” You cake the tone over with sweet innocence and an even more tooth rotting smile. As always it’s done with a certain level of hesitancy, your nerves getting the better of you when his bulking frame is taking over your doorway. Still, you’ve learned there are special ways to soften Ao’nung’s composure. 
He takes a few strides into your room, effectively prompting you to scoot back further towards the headboard. 
“Hm, so then why is my precious sevin tucking away from me? I’m starting to think you crave some discipline, paskalin.” That sharp curve of a devilish smirk looks stunning along his turquoise lips. And like the true traitor she is, your pussy flutters at the sight. 
It’s not fair for him to waltz in here with bedroom eyes and chest still adorned with a hunting harness and weapons. Not fair when your body is literally punishing you for not being pregnant and Ao’nung offers himself up on a silver platter for your nature’s carnal desires. And especially not fair when pieces of those curling strands have fallen from his bun and lay across his collarbones to leave drops of salt water. 
You are in no state to be making plans. And definitely not finding ways to coerce the stubborn prince away from something he wants. 
“I’m just not feeling well, Ao’nung. Didn’t want to make you sick.” 
Ao’nung scoffs at the idea, borderline offended that you would even consider that a possibility. With your delicate state it seems laughable to him that you would be capable of passing on any sort of sickness to him. 
“Such a fragile thing.” He steps forward with the roll of his eyes. “Do not worry, I will-”
His sentence cuts off as sharp as the jagged rocks on the westside. Now at the foot of your bed, his nostrils flare visibly. Your stomach tangles in despair, already anticipating where this is going. 
“You’re bleeding.” He states, dark tone barely giving you a chance to register his words before he is rushing to your side. Ao’nung crawls onto the bed without  a passing concern for the screeching of the bed frame under his weight. Within seconds his large frame is towering over your own smaller body until you are wedged into the corner.
“No it’s nothing really. Well I mean I am bleeding but not in the way you think…or well it’s…” The rambling doesn’t reach his ears, ocean eyes searching over every inch of you to find the injury. Trepidation settles at the looming embarrassment that threatens to follow as you desperately squeeze your thighs together. 
Fighting against Ao’nung massive hands that clutch your shoulder and hips to turn you is useless but you can’t resist trying. And then his eyes snap downwards and with it your last shred of hope signed away. A look of utter horror contorts over his face as he stares down at the thin shorts just barely covering your panties. 
A beat of silence ensues. 
Face now the shade and temperature of a raging bonfire you struggle to think of a response through the fog of humiliation. 
“How…” The sound is barely choked out from his lungs. It’s a rare sight to see Ao’nung speechless, every ounce of playful banter wiped clean. And if the circumstances were any different, as in not having that dread painted across his face at the reveal of your bleeding vagina, then you would be tempted to enjoy seeing the mighty male so caught off guard. 
His fingers dig into the flesh of your plush hips. It’s clear that his head is struggling to come back online and process what devastating news he has uncovered. 
“Well you see-” Your voice unfortunately seems to snap him out of whatever daze he has been in, his body moving into action before you can even finish your sentence. 
“I will take you to my mother.” Perhaps the most terrifying sentence Ao’nung could say as he starts trying to pull you into his arms. Embarrassment bleeds into panic. A sense of anxiety bounces between the two of you as he rushes to scoop you up and bring you to the healer’s tent and you grasp at anything to keep from being met with the most intimidating woman on the planet in this condition. 
“No wait! Ao’nung it’s fine. I’m fine.” It’s not much use when he already has your wiggling figure dragged to the end of the bed with just one hand around your ankle. It traps you underneath his body in one swoop. 
“You are bleeding.” Ao’nung reiterates, sharp canines coming to show with a slight hiss. “Mawey tawtute, she will know what to do.” He nods firmly, but there's a crack of hesitance in his voice. As if the reassurance is really there for himself than anyone else. You’ve never seen Ao’nung so serious before, nor this panicked. 
Your pleas for release mean nothing as he quickly gathers you into his arms. Panic and humiliation work in tandem to wrestle you into a state of utter panic. And working more on instinct than real thinking you do the one thing that will grant you freedom.
You grab a fistful of curly hair and yank. Hard. 
Dropped back onto your plushy bed as Ao’nung lets out a pained hiss you scramble for the one place you might be able to hide. It’s painfully obvious and stereotypical but your closet is the first and only place you can think to escape the handsome male. The door bangs shut, encasing you in the darkness surrounded by frilly dresses and tickling lace. 
You grasp the handle with all the determination your exhausted body can muster. Ronal is a wonderful healer and exquisite leader but quite literally the last person on the planet you would want to witness your embarrassing, very stupidly human, condition. It’s likely that similar to her son she too would not know about human menstruation. 
It’s gross. You feel gross. Your entire body aches and as Ao’nung starts to yank on the other handle tears are already welling up in your eyes. From what emotion exactly you haven’t the faintest clue but the weak reaction brings a pit of annoyance into the mix too. Because of course all it takes is your concerned boyfriend who is just trying to help, to put you into another crying fest. This would be the third one this morning. 
It seems that whatever god created humans was far less kind than Eywa who at least had the decency to keep women from suffering monthly in the name of procreation. And with that thought in mind, anger comes to intertwine as well. 
“Ao’nung stop! I’m not injured!” A rough shout that is anger more directed at your current situation than hands that now swing the door open. 
The Metkayina male however is more than peeved now too. He isn’t about to take no for an answer as he hooks a thick arm around your midsection to pull you out. 
“Stop struggling.” He growls. 
You're halfway to the doorway of the bedroom and Ao’nung is anything but deterred by your babbling about how it is normal, just a tawtute thing. So your mouth makes a decision before your brain can approve it. 
“It’s because I’m not pregnant!” A shout loud enough to echo down the outside hallway and freeze the Metkayina prince in place. 
What a stupid thing to say. A terrible terrible mistake, you decide as you wiggle out of his grasp to glance up at his face. Now having rendered the male speechless twice in five minutes you feel slightly guilty. And humiliated. Along with disgusting, angry, tired. In fact you may as well feel every emotion under the sun with the way your chest squeezes painfully. 
“I’m not hurt. I’m not in need of healing. It’s called menstruation. Yet another wonderful thing about being a human woman. Where my stupid vagina decides to bleed every month because there is no fucking baby in me!” Your screeches make Ao’nung’s ears pin back, your chest heaving with the effort as tears rocket down your cheeks. You can’t find it within yourself to care that this is the harshest language Ao’nung has ever heard from you. Not when sobs are already crawling up your throat and tears blurr the view of the towering male before you.
The same male that is beautiful beyond belief. The same that has somehow found some interest in you. And now the same that has yet another gross reason to rethink being with a human. 
“So no I’m not hurt but I am…am…” Trembling lips crumble into a pout. Ao’nung’s tail curves. “I am miserable. Cramping. Tired. So fucking sad because this is the seventh time I’ve watched Pride and Prejudice because I can’t find the other earlier remake of it. And angry because I’ve already ruined a pair of pink panties. The ones with the clouds…that…that took me hours to make and…and I’m so disgusting!” Ao’nung’s eyes are blown wide enough to push his hairless brows into his hairline. “There’s blood everywhere! And I fucking hate it! And…and..my sleeve got caught on the doorknob earlier-”
Strong arms gently pull you until your cheek meets the warm skin of his abs. That simple action is enough to break the dam barricading your emotions. Now in a full meltdown, you paint his swirled skin with your tears and the racketing sobs fill the room sporadically. It feels nice to have something to hold onto, small fingers squeezing his hips as you break down. 
Minutes. Hours. Years. There is no recalling how long the two of you spend in that position as you unleash every torturing feeling from your chest. What you do know is that those large hands drawing up and down your back eventually soothe those sobs into small hiccups and then finally into short sniffles. 
“You’re not hurt.” Ao’nung checks again, calmly breaking the silence. 
“M’not hurt.” You mumble against his skin, soon thereafter mourning the loss of contact when Ao’nung carefully shifts you backwards. Disappointment does not linger for long, however, when a set of turquoise thumbs brush away the tears falling over your cheeks. 
Although his expression appears to be nothing related to anger, it’s difficult to decipher what exactly the Metkayina prince is thinking. A part of you wishes to not even venture to guess but that train of thought has already left the station. Another wave of embarrassment floods as you imagine just how ridiculous you must look at this moment. Eyes blotching and red as you cry over a simple natural process that is nothing in comparison to that of which the Na’vi go through to maintain everyday village life. Hiding away from your boyfriend in a sea of stuffed animals and stuffing yourself with popcorn as your way of throwing a pity party all while Ao’nung is still dressed in his hunting gear.
No doubt he has been up since dawn. Fulfilling both physically and socially draining duties to keep the clan running smoothly, in preparation for his time of reign. Ao’nung is everything you are not. You knew it within the first few minutes of meeting him. Perhaps he is not always the most patient or humble, but he is brave. And tough. Oh so mighty and resilient in taking on whatever Eywa throws his way. 
How much worse do you appear when coming from that perspective? Still dripping in salt water and spear leaning against the doorframe, what compels him to want to spend time with a whiny thing like you?
“Stop crying.” Large hands bracket the sides of your head as he works to keep up with the dropping tears. 
And you wish you could. 
You wish you could be more like the mighty warrior in front of you. Years have proven you to be nothing more than a small child that can not let go of her toys. Drowning in day dreams as your silly way to cope. 
That truth spins despair back into full swing. You feel even more guilty when Ao’nung pulls you back into his embrace, because who are you to warrant such affection? It’s clear that he deserves someone so much more and yet you selfishly accept the feel of his strong arms encircling you because it makes you feel safe. Because it allows air to properly enter your lungs again at a normal speed. 
When Ao’nung takes a knee to match your eye level, you twist to veer away from those crystal-like eyes. The Na’vi doesn’t give you much of a chance as he manhandles you back into place,his tongue clicking in disapproval, so he can look you over properly. 
“My poor tawtute.” He coos at you, as if addressing a lost juvenile creature without its mother. “Mawey, oeyӓ paskalin.” [Calm, my dear]  And before your brain can register the sweet nectar of his words, larger lips are pressing against your own. The light flutter of your heart is recurrent as he patiently works to deepen the kiss. It’s different from those that fill your passionate nights of lovemaking. Ao’nung patiently pulls you into that bliss until you are melting against him. 
Heavy eyes stall in opening once Ao’nung has pulled away. 
“Bring your mask.” Ao’nung intstructs abruptly. 
“What?” 
He has already risen to full height, a large hand resting along your spine to urge you towards the door. Unbothered by your confusion, he takes a well needed sip of air from his own dangling mask. When he does catch a glimpse of your expression he pauses before a smirk tugs at his lips and his tail bats playfully. 
“And your bunny of course.” He eyes the discarded toy with lips pulling back just enough to reveal sharp canines. “You will feel better once you are home.” 
And suddenly you are no longer confused. It should have been obvious, this most recent topic of argument between the two of you. No matter how fascinated Ao’nung is by your well decorated room he stops at nothing to coerce you to abide in his marui. He has been caught more than a few times even openly smuggling things from your room in the scheme of planting it in his home like bait for his prey. 
“Ao’nung no. I can’t come over tonight. Not like this.” 
Those hairless brows knit together as he sweeps over your frame once more. It’s clear he finds no flaw in your condition that would prevent you from letting him steal you away to his home. 
“And besides I have everything I need right here.” You scramble back over to your bed and begin explaining the little nest you have created for yourself. “Pillows for the perfect position, stuffed animals, snacks, and in another twenty minutes Mr. Darcy is going to confess his undying love for Elizabeth.” It’s clear that the last indication is lost on him as he follows your point towards the small tv. 
It’s not his first time observing the thin rectangle that plays moving pictures but it still manages to catch his confused attention each time. His lips curl back and faces squints with an utter look of disgust. The fact that the characters speak in Sky People language never helps to spark an interest for him. 
“I’m fine right here, Nung. I promise.” Your soft smile when you perch to sit atop the covers is only met with a scowl. The difficulty in explaining this to Ao’nung is yet another reason you had originally planned to hide away alone until this nightmare had blown over. “Go back to your duties. I’ll be happy here.” 
And that is the tipping point for Ao’nung. What is meant to come off as reassurance instead has his hairless brows pinching together and large hands settling over his curved hips. 
“You’re staying here for mester darsee.” It’s difficult to take his misplaced anger seriously when he struggles to pronounce the few English words. 
“No, Ao’nung that is not-”
“Fine. I will stay.” His massive body is already climbing onto your poor bed before you have another chance to protest. He continues to mutter under his breath. It’s a messy sprawl of annoyed curses and something about you not needing a Mr. Darcy. The giant Na’vi pouts even as he pulls you close to curl his body around yours. 
It’s wrong to keep the future Olo’eyktan to yourself like this but watching him sulk like a giant cat is too amusing to pass up. And then there is the comfort that comes with having Ao’nung wrapped around you like a dragon protecting his hoard, so you decide to be selfish. 
His curls tickle the back of your neck and a large hand spans over your abdomen. As he rubs soothing circles into your lower stomach you swear the heat and motion alone is better than the battery powered heating pack. The cramps don’t evaporate away but they settle into something more bearable, especially when your favorite scene finally comes onto the screen and you snuggle closer to your ridiculous lover. 
Slowly throughout the movie Ao’nung’s hand come to explore south into territory that would have Mrs. Bennett passing into an early grave. That confident exploration is a stark contrast to the simple touches exchanged between your favorite characters, but it holds the same passion. The same tension that has your thighs clamping together in defense against his devious fingers. 
You can feel the way his lips curve into a smirk against your ear. Period hormones are your sworn enemy as you are caught between fighting him off in sheer embarrassment and finally letting his hand slip underneath the band of your pretty shorts. 
“Don’t worry, oeyӓ tawtute. Next month I will do better.”
The sudden comments has you taken aback. .
“Do better at what?”
“Giving you my baby.” He casually states, unbothered by the way you freeze and struggle to take in oxygen. “This Sky Demon sickness won’t come for you when you are filled with my seed.” 
And like a silent promise, his thumb swipes over your lower stomach just as his fingers breach the band of your panties. 
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I hope you enjoyed this little musing. I can't wait to carry out some of the other plans I have for these two. If you enjoyed it too please please let me know. I can't tell you enough how much hearing your feedback and comments means to me (anonymous or not).
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simpee9000 · 2 months ago
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I love your “not just friends” series🥹 im obsessed! Im hoping to see more I love it soooooooooooo muchhhh!!!!!!! Even telling my friends to read it
But I saw a bakugo headcanon by another anon about him having a crush which I wanna add a spin on, what if he rejected this said crush back in middle school but developed feelings after xD I find it funny
Thank you !!! I'm glad you enjoy it so much!
And that is literally Katsuki Bakugo, can't see him not doing it tbh. (This was also a lot longer then I planned for it to be- I just started typing and here we are- 1k)
He isn't confused about a lot of things in life but his feelings definitely stump him. He tries to analyze other people and how they react to people, but the dots just don't connect. He hears people rave on and on about how cute their crush is, but he just doesn't get it.
It's not that he hasn't been introduced to it either. I mean, it's middle school. Everyone is crazy about dating someone even if it's just to hold their stupid hand. Bakugo didn't get it, he honestly didn't want to get it. Sure he wanted to understand it, but only so he could know a weakness or some shit. He didn't want the gushy feelings or anything such.
Rejecting girl after girl was normal for him, people just loved how great he was. But after the first year of middle school that stopped. Mainly because of how rudely he rejected every girl in the past, but also because of you.
You got extremely close with him rather quickly, working your way into his life and friend groups. It was rare to see you away from each other.
Yet when you confessed to him in your last year of middle school, he stood still. It was the only confession he hesitated on. And while you swayed on your feet, anxious for a reply, he tried to cough up any words possible.
But the only ones that came out were. "You're not special."
In the most blunt way possible, he crushed your dreams. With the way he was looking at you, it was like he couldn't fathom the thought that you thought you were good enough for him, different than all the other girls. So you choked up any spiteful things you wanted to say and nodded before walking off.
He didn't necessarily like you then, but the thought didn't seems gross. So when he watched you walk away, he shrugged it off. You'd talk to him tomorrow definitely.
When tomorrow came and went, he was waiting for you to show up by his side at any second. But of course, you never did. You waited a day before showing up to class, but when you did you stuck near your other friends.
It stayed that way too. You only nodded at him after you finished middle school, a small final goodbye.
So it was rather unfortunate that one of your friends happened to be Izuku. It was a hard-built friendship, but he's very forgiving.
You came and visited the dorms often, encouraged by his mother to help him get by easier.
Bakugo hated it, you never even looked his way.
When he googled his feelings he didn't want to believe the words typed on his screen. It was all saying he was jealous. He'd never been jealous of anything, especially nothing Deku had.
Eventually, Kirishima pointed it out, commenting on the glare he was giving Midoriya. He also called him out the next day, when he kept glaring despite you not being there.
The day he cracked was after he fought Deku, after being yelled out by Aizawa he and Deku were told to wait.
Bakugo mentioned your name in a mumble at first before Deku questioned it. "She like you or some shit?"
"What?!"
"You fuckin' heard me," he spat back.
"No!" Deku scrambled for a reason. He knew you had a crush on Bakugo before, but you haven't mentioned it in a while, "Do you?"
"Do I like you?!"
"NO! HER!"
Bakugo's aggression faded as he thought. Everyone was saying that. Kirishima, his dad, and now Deku. He gave a small shrug because he was unsure.
"She still asks about you," Deku decided to say, rather than poke the bear.
"Hm."
"Wanting to know if you're okay. After the sludge, and after.. well you know," Deku mumbled.
The door opened before anything else could be said, but even if it didn't, they both knew the conversation was over.
Feeling the commonly named butterflies in his stomach, at just the thought of you thinking of him still, was odd. It was an entirely new feeling. After googling, once again, he came to terms with the fact that he finally felt all the gushy feelings that everyone else got in middle school. The ones you used to have for him, hopefully still do.
He still waited a year to act on his conclusion first. But he still slowly tried to weave his way back into your life. Choosing to sit next to you when you visited, to othering you the remote.
Everything was without words for a while. Almost a year in he was forced to talk to you often. All conversations being awkward and strained.
Confessing was a different story, it was the last day you could visit before it was officially summer break before the second year. Everyone was all sat around watching TV, people leaving before they got too tired. Surprisingly, Bakugo and you were the last people in the living room. He didn't want to miss a second of your presence because he knew he couldn't see you during summer. He was so glad Aizawa let you stay late.
His head snapped away from the TV when you stretched to stand, silently grabbing your stuff.
"What are you doing?" he spoke before thinking.
You looked stunned, he never talked to you without you talking first, "It's late, I should go. Plus is it not past your bedtime?"
He glared at your joke before looking at the clock. It was 2:54a.m, you asked him out at 2:54 p.m in middle school.
"Do you still?"
"What?" you switched your weight onto one foot, crossing your arms confused.
"In middle school," he sighed, "do you still?"
"You're gonna have to be more specific."
"Have feelings and shit."
He still wasn't looking at you, but out of the corner of his eyes, he could see how you froze.
"I don't know how that's relevant," you huffed, embarrassed and annoyed that he'd be so cruel to bring up the rejection again.
"I do."
"Do what? Know how it's relevent? Of course you do, it's your brain-"
"Have feelings and shit," he mumbled, crossing his arms at how irated you sounded. He was finally making his move and you seemed pissed as hell.
You barked out a laugh, muffling it with your own hand, "You can't think I'm that stupid, right?"
"I'm being serious," he looked at you straight on for the first time. He was always easiest to read when you could see his eyes, and he looked nervous. Out of all the emotions you've seen on him, this wasn't one.
"Oh."
He sighed and looked down, "Don't gotta say anything, you can spend the night in the common room. No one will care," he pushed himself off the couch, turning to leave.
"Bakugo," you called out softly.
"Hm?"
"I might," your voice was shaky, "but I need to think about it. Know that you're not fucking with me or something."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. Take your time. You have my number."
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ilyrafe · 5 months ago
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𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒓. 𝒄.
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A - affection (how do they show affection)
rafe isn’t the most affectionate person in the world, but when he feels comfortable and safe enough, he makes a point of showing you how dear you are by giving you expensive gifts and unique experiences like a weekend on a yacht, away from everything and everyone, or a dinner at an expensive restaurant in new york city, with ward’s private jet. he spares no effort to show you that he can take care of you as he thinks you deserve. he’s also not very good with words, but rafe is an extremely transparent person, so his face says it all. his eyes always soften when he’s looking at you, and that says more than any diamond necklace or any declaration of love.
B - balance (how do they balance you, work/school/life?)
maybe rafe is a bit of a workaholic, money and power are very important things to him, but he goes out of his way to try and fit you into his life. he doesn’t always succeed, but he tries.
C - cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? what positions?)
he’s not used to being cuddled, so naturally he doesn't do it to anyone. most of the time, you are the one who initiates the gesture, and it takes a long time for him to reciprocate and not feel awkward. whenever rafe is anxious, you cuddle him until you feel him calming down, and your cuddles are healing. they help immensely. he had never felt so loved and safe. you two normally stay quiet, just wanting the comfort of one another after a hard day, but sometimes, he’ll ask you stuff here and there.
D - date (what was your first date?)
after a few weeks of just pretending that neither of you had any serious feelings for the other, rafe invited you to dinner and you accepted. he was relaxed, in a good mood and even made jokes that made you laugh and throw your head back. he didn’t seem to be the same rafe who walked around with kelce and topper with an air of superiority. he was funny, smart, cute and perhaps the most interesting person you’ve met.
E - excited (how excited do they get when they see you/are with you?)
your presence calms him enough for him to organize his thoughts. it doesn’t mean he’s going to vent to you, but your presence makes you feel at ease. he loves seeing you, especially after long periods of time, when he needs to travel for work and you can’t go. he’ll make sure he’ll make up for the time he was away.
F - fighting (what happens when you fight)
your first fight was a big fight, which made rafe understand that you’re not as submissive as he would like, because you’re not afraid of him and you hit him head on with the same tone he uses when he’s angry. in the first fight, rafe just took out all his frustrations on you, which made you mad. this fight almost ended the relationship, because you already had some unpleasant things about him that were stuck in your throat and everything ended up exploding, but after a long conversation, you got it together and now rafe thinks five times before thinking of taking out his problems on you.
G - gorgeous (pet names. what do they like to call you? what do they like to be called?)
rafe is quite simple, he calls you “babe” or “baby”. he rarely calls you by your name.
H - hi (first time meeting)
you met at a party he was throwing at tanny hill, as a friend of his took you. you apologized for crashing the party, but rafe thought you were adorable and obviously gorgeous. you praised the mansion and said you were having fun, and he promptly said you could come over whenever you wanted, but he didn’t say it with a sexual connotation, but rather a friendly one. he offered to show you other parts of the house and that certainly attracted some looks.
I - intimacy (how romantic they are)
rafe hasn’t had many romantic experiences in his life, he was never attracted to the idea of ​​dating until he met you, so he found himself searching the internet for “romantic gestures”, “how to impress a woman” and things like that. he wanted to do everything right, he wanted you to see that he was taking you seriously. he likes to take you to dinners, he gets you flowers and expensive gifts.
J - jealousy (do they get jealous?)
both of you get jealous of each other, actually. he doesn’t like to see you talking to other boys, except kelce and topper, but you don’t stop having male friends because of that, after all, you don’t stop him from having female friends either (if he wants to). you tend to feel jealous when you see him getting along with an ex girlfriend or even a former hookup.
K - kisses (where do they like to kiss you/how often?)
in public, rafe gives you quick kisses here and there, sometimes on your hand, but mostly on your lips. in private, he’s quite passionate and loves to kiss your neck and collarbones. he also kisses your forehead a lot, especially when you’re asleep! when you spend time apart for whatever reason, his kisses are urgent (which you absolutely live for).
L - love (when was the first time they said i love you or realized it?)
rafe realized he was in love with you when you spent a whole night comforting him after a terrible fight with ward and sarah. you did everything. you held him, you let him cry, you let him vent and you never let go of him. he never felt so loved in his life before, no one never really heard him before. you were so caring and understanding, never interrupting him.
M - moving in (when do you decide to move in together)
after a few years of relationship, rafe proposes that you move in together, after all, you are already adults and you know that you will be “together forever”. you don’t think twice. you spend more time with him than in your own home anyways.
N - newborn (their reaction to starting a family)
the thought of being a dad worries him a lot, actually. he doesn’t want his children to turn out like he (or sarah) did, he doesn’t want to repeat ward’s mistakes. he wants to do everything right. when the topic arises, he begins to read about parenthood, how to raise kids and all that stuff, which makes you certain that if you’re gonna have kids, they’re gonna be his.
O - open (how open you are with one another)
at first, he’s not open with you at all, but you can tell it’s a defense mechanism. when you and rafe start getting to know each other more and become more than friends, he begins to feel more comfortable with talking to you about himself and his life. he tends to talk more at night, before falling asleep. you’ve noticed rafe doesn’t like to keep secrets, he needs to let it out so he tells you a lot of things, some stuff being really random. you also feel the same and begin to tell him about yourself and it’s nice to hear that he can relate to you in something.
P - photos (what kind of photos you take of them/they take of you)
rafe likes photography and is quite good at it! he prefers to take the picture rather than being photographed, but you manage to sneak in a picture or two of his when he’s asleep or not looking. he has a lot of polaroids of you, but also on his phone.
Q - quirks (what random habits do you have that they love or hate/vice versa)
rafe is very messy. it seems that he’s physically unable to put an object back to its designated place. his room is always messy and he knows it. there are several plastic water bottles scattered around his bedroom and he doesn’t care to throw them away.
R - recovery (how you help them after an injury/vice versa)
rafe doesn’t like when you see him injured just because he doesn’t want you to be afraid of him, but he always lets you help him with his wounds. he knows you hate when he’s in a fight. he apologizes and says he’ll do better, but every once in a while you’ll get a text alerting you about another fight that he’s involved in.
S - solution (how they resolve fights)
when you are wrong, you apologize. rafe, however, has trouble recognizing when he’s wrong, and tends to blame others for his mistakes, but you never let him get away with it. he just hates when you tell him “rafe, you’re in the wrong, period. apologize and fix it.”, but deep down he does appreciate that you never buy his bullshit and puts him in his place. after everything is said and done, you both have a calm conversation and rafe does apologize more heartfeltly.
T - touch (when they need/want your touch, what will they do? how often?)
normally after a fight with ward, a long day at work or when he’s anxious, rafe wants nothing more than to be with you in his bedroom and hold you till it all goes away and he can breathe again. you don’t even need to touch him, the feel of you in his arms is enough. you play with his hair, you trace his back with your nails or you play with his hand, to let him know you’re there and you’re not going anywhere.
U - up (waking up with them)
waking up with rafe is the best. he has his arms around you every single time. if you’re still asleep, he just kisses your shoulder or forehead, trying to wake up a bit more before getting up and starting the day. if you’re up before him, you play with his hair and stroke his soft skin. he usually has this hard exterior, so sleeping is the rare chance you get to see him be calm.
V - vacation (where they travel with you)
you encourage rafe to visit other countries, discover new cultures and foods, and it’s always fun to travel with him because he values ​​comfort and lets you take control of the trip. while you like to explore the place by foot, he’s offering to call an uber and “get there faster!”.
W - wedding (how they propose/where you get married/honeymoon)
on a random day, rafe asked if you ever thought about getting married, and you said yes. then he asked if you would marry him one day, and you said yes. he took a small black velvet box from his pocket, opened it, showing a beautiful ring. the wedding took place just a few months later, and it was a small ceremony, with just a few family members and closest friends. rafe was radiant, and on your honeymoon, you went to greece.
X - x factor (what about you captivated them?)
your self-confidence. you don’t accept insults from anyone, least of all from him. he feels a little jealous of your confidence, because deep down he doesn’t have any. your greatest strength is your kindness and understanding.
Y - yawning (how they act when they’re tired)
like a child, rafe doesn’t really admit when he’s tired. he fights his sleep until he really can’t anymore. when he’s tired, he gets cranky and stubborn just like a toddler. he knows he’s tired, but for some reason he won’t just go to bed and fall asleep.
Z - zzz (how you fall asleep together)
before you, rafe liked his space, but when you both started sharing a bed, rafe couldn’t sleep by himself anymore. he needed to be holding you, smelling you. having you next to him is the only thing he really wants. he has begged you to stay the night just so he can sleep better and you always say yes.
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ectologia · 6 months ago
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Tomura Shigaraki is definitely a disgusting and depraved perv when it comes to kinks and fetishes, it's a known fact. I wanna know your ideas for all the fucked up things he's into, illegal or not ^^
KINKS & FETISHES
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TOMURA SHIGARAKI EDITION
CONTENT ♱ IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, THIS IS EXTREMELY MATURE CONTENT WITH A PLETHORA OF KINKS AND FETISHES (INCLUDING NONCON), COMMON OR NOT, READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!
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ACAROPHILIA (AROUSAL FROM SCRATCHING)
Tomura loves the scratchies, we all know that. Whether he’s sad, anxious, frustrated or horny, you can always catch those blunt fingernails digging at his flesh like a dog in a flower patch. And, unsurprisingly, yours too. He likes the way you shudder as he claws down your skin, catching your nipples as he tears down your tits before watching the thin white lines raise into nasty looking red gashes. He’ll even drag his tongue over them to feel the bumps as he wanks.
ANAL TRAINING
Tomura is a disgusting and malicious man, so it should come as no surprise that one of his favourite past times is to see how wide he can stretch your ass open. He’ll make it into a game, timing you, finding different objects (safe or not) to squeeze up your butt, promising you treats and rewards if you can take having your sphincter stretched another 5 centimetres. And if you don’t think that’s a lot, trust, it is. And it’ll hurt. He’ll make sure of it.
ANONYMOUS SEX
Even evil crime bosses such as Tomura can get insecure too. On those days he’s feeling extremely low about himself, whether it be because a mission was unsuccessful or because his skin’s had a flare up and he can barely look at anyone. He’ll resort to skulking around dingy clubs and alleys. He’s not the biggest fan of glory holes, mainly because he’s scared there’ll be a dude on the other side sucking his cock. But he appreciates that he can be as weird or unattractive as he wants and still bust a fat nut into something other than his fist.
BATHROOM CONTROL
We all know Tomura is a control freak. And it just gets freakier when he starts telling you where and when you can go to the toilet. On most days, he’s tame about it. All he asks of you is that you tell him when your bladder’s full and he’ll give you permission to use his toilet. It’s only until he starts wanting to watch you shit and piss while he jerks himself off does it get a little.. worrying. He just finds it so cute when your little body does what it’s supposed to, and it’s even better when he’s the one that gets to be a bossy boots about it.
BREAST + NIPPLE TORTURE
As mentioned before, Tomura likes scratching your nipples. He’s also an avid enjoyer of slapping, pinching, twisting, stretching, biting, flicking and tickling. Really, there’s no actual explanation. He just enjoys watching you writhe in pain.
BREAST + NIPPLE WORSHIP
Equally, on the flip side. Tomura worships your tits, physically and spiritually. He finds them so beautiful, he reckons they’re his favourite part of your body. Romantic, right? He’ll kiss and hug and squish, juggling them in his palms before sucking one into his mouth while caressing the other. He’ll use them as pillows, resting his head on your chest before slipping away into a restful slumber. Probably to dream of even more titties.
CRUROPHILIA (A KINK RELATED TO LEGS)
Legs, legs, legs. Long legs, skinny legs, chubby legs, muscular legs, legs in tights, legs in thigh highs, shaved or unshaved. Tomura loves legs, he’s obsessed with them to some degree. Just the way he can do so much with them. Fold them against your chest, spread them out wide, throw them over his shoulders, or even bind them tight. He just loves legs.
BONUS
If you’re a fast runner, watch out, because Tomura will be chasing you in circles like you’re a gazelle in the savanna. He gets off to it, hardcore.
CUMSHOTS
Tomura will find any excuse to make something into a game. Give him something to aim at and he’ll be shooting semen at you like it’s an FPS. His favourite thing to spunk on is your clit, since it’s such a tiny target he feels almost accomplished when he manages to spit the creamy white liquid right on the little bud. (Before getting to lick it off)
FACE FUCKING
Who doesn’t love a nice, rough face fuck? Tomura definitely does. Tomura treats all your holes like sex toys, and your mouth is just another. He’s a hard, deep and fast fuck, using your hair like reins as he shovels his length all the way down your throat and back up again. He’s like a greyhound, once he starts he can’t stop. So what if you just threw up on his dick? He’s not done until he’s done.
FACE SITTING
Not in the way you think. He’s the one doing the sitting ‘round here darling. He’ll use it as a punishment, squatting over your face with his filthy asshole puckering and scrunching over your lips, Oh, what, you think it’s gross? Good. You better get used to the view of his hairy ass crack, baby, because you’re gonna’ be here a while.
FOOT FETISH
Perhaps the most common and well known of Shiggy’s fetishes, he’s a feet connoisseur. Manicured toes, soft soles and high heels are what he dreams of at night. Pumping his dick between a pretty girl’s smooth arches, legs bent with her steaming hot pink pussy nestled right between them? Hell yeah. He’ll alternate between worshiping your feet and having you worship his. He sucks your toes, you suck his back. It’s a 50/50 relationship.
BONUS
Though Tomura’s obsession is mainly sexual, he’ll massage your feet as an act of service purely because it’s his love language.
MACROGENITALISM
Some men like the pretty, pink pristine vulvas, the hairless ones with barely-there, tucked away labias and tiny clits you can barely get at. Some men aren’t Tomura. He wants it hairy, messy and sloppy. He wants to nestle his face between your bush and suffocate himself with the coarse hairs, he wants to gnaw and pull on your beautiful labia with his teeth and lick through every fold and crevice like he’s an explorer. He likes the women with big, gorgeous clits and fat, chunky cunts, and he won’t have anything less.
NONCON
He likes the way you scream and plead. How your guttural wails and ear piercing shrieks dull and splinter into pitiful whimpers. How your eyes mist into glassy, shiny goggles the moment he pulls the sluggish length of his manhood out and slaps it up and down on your tiny, twitchy clit. Back hunched as he places a boney finger to his lips, shushing and cooing at you as you heave through grit teeth when he splits into your folds. His big, bulbous cock head juts in and out with a slick pop as he pummels you into a shakey, traumatised little mess, pumping you full with his seed, wether you want it in your little womb or not.
PEODEIKTOPHILIA (PENIS FLASHING)
Though it sounds sinister, Tomura finds it positively hilarious. He likes to see that momentary, adorably shocked, deer-in-headlights look on your face when he drops his waistband for just a second, giving you an eyeful of his big, floppy cock and balls. Whether you’re on your own or with people, outside or inside. He’s incredibly sneaky and an all around menace. Walking past while you’re tucked into bed? He’ll wipe his clammy dick on your face along the way. Having a conversation with someone? He’ll slip his squishy pink head out of his boxers and thumb the slit with a cheeky grin. Brushing your teeth? He’ll chase you around the bathroom with his balls hanging out. Just know, he does it because he loves you. You’re his best friend.
QUIROFILIA (HAND FETISH)
Tomura likes pretty hands. Long, lithe fingers with manicured nails and soft knuckles. A stark contrast to his huge, calloused and, not to mention, destructive ones. He’ll kiss and caress the delicate appendages before demanding you wrap them around his cock, stacked atop one another as you stroke his prick up and down, foreskin clicking stickily as his balls jiggle against his thighs until he inevitably climaxes, coating your sweet fingers in the syrupy substance of his love.
SOMNOPHILIA (ENGAGING IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH SOMEBODY THAT IS ASLEEP OR UNCONSCIOUS)
It can be for various reasons, the main one being you’re too tired to deal with him, so he just takes matters into his own hands. He’ll spread your pussy and eat it from the back as much as it takes until he can slip inside you nice and easy. Bouncing your unconscious self against the mattress with his dick nestled tightly inside your syrupy walls, while you stay tucked into bed all cosy and warm. See? It’s a win win situation.
WATERSPORTS
Similar to Tomura’s “bathroom control” kink, Tomura just really likes piss. Wether you’re squirting in his mouth after getting finger banged within an inch of your life, or you’re on your knees with your tongue out waiting for him to give you a hot, steamy golden shower, he really doesn’t care. As long as at least one of you are drenched in piss by the end of it.
A TOTAL OF 17 KINKS THAT I COULD THINK OF (BUT I’M SURE THERE’S MORE)
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prettieinpink · 1 year ago
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MAKING FRIENDS ♡
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Friends add so much value to your life. Especially ones that you like, and there is a positive healthy exchange of support and love in between. However, some of us do struggle to create meaningful friendships that last. To start this post, I will start by talking about how friendships are essential to becoming the best versions of ourselves. 
Friends help us in many ways, even if they don’t even do it directly. We discover new things about ourselves just by talking to them, we have a sense of belonging and build our self-esteem. It’s not impossible to have these things and be alone, though being alone for extended periods can fester feelings of social isolation & loneliness. 
As someone who’s experienced both, usually, these feelings can make us spiral deeper as it is just the tip of the iceberg. Humans need daily communication to feel sane, which has been proven again and again. 
If you decide to invest a lot more time, effort, and energy in friends, there’s bound to be an overflowing amount of rewards. Hanging around the right people can open up new opportunities for yourself drive you closer to achieving your goals and help advance your skills. 
This being said, if you invest in the wrong people or neglect your friends, the opposite will more than likely happen. Remember that the people you allow in your life can influence you, whether for better or worse. 
REDEFINING YOUR MINDSET TOWARDS MAKING FRIENDS 
Your mindset is so crucial to making friends. It can either help you or not. Another thing is that your mindset towards life, in general, can either repel or attract people to be around you. 
Firstly and importantly, do not get attached to people you barely know. Don’t overthink about them, change yourself for them or get anxious waiting for a reply. Seriously, detach. Little things like replies or if they’ll like you, should not bother you. The concept of it bothering you should not even exist in your mind. 
Secondly, do not think of humans as assets to support your growth. This is just so icky and once you get that materialistic perspective on friendships, it just becomes harder to create meaningful ones. While friends can help you grow and achieve your goals, they will drop you once they realise they’re being taken advantage of. 
Thirdly, stay true to yourself. A bit of common advice, yet not widely followed. Never, ever, make the effort to change yourself for someone to like you a bit better. If someone doesn’t like you for just who you are, they’re not meant to be in your life, forcing it causes unnecessary & avoidable circumstances.
Fourthly, quality over quantity always. When you get older especially, it shouldn’t be your priority to gain masses of friends. Most likely, not all of your friends like you because it’s harder to invest in all of them and causes you to neglect them. 
However, having quality friends who help you grow and succeed will never stop serving you in life even if that friendship falls out. Plus, you are too busy achieving your goals every day to entertain everyone you know. 
Lastly, do not allow disrespect just because you’re friends. They will test the waters to see how much you can tolerate, then you allow them to, they’re just going to get more extreme with it. Identify disrespect in ‘jokes’ or casual conservation and call it out. These people are praying for your downfall. 
That being said, just because it is not happening to you, don’t allow it. Once you establish yourself as only wanting respect, you’re going to get treated like it. 
DEFINING YOUR INNER AND OUTER CIRCLE 
Your inner circle consists of people whom you are close to, and have healthy and positive relations with them. These are the kind of people who you’d go to for emotional support or to celebrate great successes in your life. 
Then, you have your outer circle. These can be people who you’re close to, but they’re not the closest. It consists of people who you talk to regularly, but there’s still that distance. Distance is not a bad thing at all in friendships, not everyone is meant to be your closest friend.
Now those two terms are established, I want you to visualise how you want those two circles to look. These can be people who you want to be friends with, wanting to cut anyone off or just people who you hope to meet one day. 
Then define how you want to feel with those two circles, like a loving or caring circle, or a growth and learning circle. This is completely up to you, about how those circles feel and look like as it is for you. 
I recommend writing your visualisations down and putting them somewhere you can see regularly. This is just to help us get into the energy of making meaningful friendships every day.
STANDARDS + CRITERIA IN FRIENDS 
The heading is a little bit off-putting, I understand. However, it is essential to establish a set of standards once you start making friends. This is to make sure you’re making quality friendships, and not attaching to just anyone. 
This is a bit of individual advice, you have to curate your standards by yourself. A personal example is that I’m Christian myself, I believe in God and I’m devoted to him. 
So, in that case, I won’t allow other religions or non-religious people into my inner circle. While they can be in my outer circle, I would prefer having most of my friends believe in God and uphold his values. 
Standards and criteria in friends can either be a must quality (they must have this quality) or a preferred quality (I prefer if they did, don’t mind if they don’t). You decide which qualities are which, and if they apply to your inner or outer circle. 
Can’t say much, but to help you, I advise looking into yourself internally and once again, visualising what those friendships look like daily. To help, I’ve gathered a few journaling prompts!
 What do you think are the responsibilities of friendship?
What is the nicest thing a friend could ever do for you? 
What do you think friendship is?
How do you expect the aftermath to be after an argument with a friend?
How can someone become a part of your inner circle? 
What behaviour makes you want to cut someone off?
Who were your favourite friends in the past? What did they do to become your favourite?
How would you like to be shown appreciation daily? 
Do you like banter or prefer showering each other with compliments? 
Then, extract from your responses to these prompts, some characteristics or traits that you look for in friendships. 
BECOMING SOCIALLY ELOQUENT The first tip i’m going to give to you is to read. Not just in your head, but out loud reading. Read, and see if you’re going too fast or too slow, you’re pronouncing words clearly and know when to pause. Bonus points if you record yourself reading, then rewatch it to see your progress. 
Search up any words you don’t know and how to pronounce them, and to test yourself, think of a way to use those words in an everyday sentence. 
While this helps to expand your vocabulary as well, really keep in mind the setting of the conservation. If you’re at a science and math invention fair, more advanced language is suited. However, you wouldn’t use that same way of speaking casually at a party. 
The second tip is to get rid of all filler words in your vocabulary. 
Like
Um
Uh
so
Unnecessary when speaking and it can make you an unengaging conservationist. Just take a pause when thinking, and if you forget what you were talking about, tell your listener or just change the topic. Sometimes, these words are needed when speaking, but not all the time. 
The third tip is just to do everything slower, while speaking. Move your hands slower, don’t dart your eyes around and take deep breaths before speaking. If not, you seem anxious and jittery, in which your words will not be clear. 
The fourth tip is to pay attention to the listener. Make eye contact with them and ask questions about them too. This makes it a lot more engaging and therefore, easier for the listener to listen. 
My fifth tip, and the most important, is to practice speaking. Whether it is in front of a mirror or with a partner. Use notes as reminders while practising to help you remember what to do. There are even videos on YouTube where you can pretend you’re having a conversation with someone, or you could just make your own. 
However, practice yourself to speak without preparation. Like for example, you strike up a conservation with your classmate and apply the things you’ve learnt. 
Bear in mind, that the whole point of becoming socially eloquent isn’t to make people listen to you, but to make it easier for people to listen to you. 
MAKING FRIENDS + KEEPING THEM
Now everything else is out of the way, let’s talk about what you probably came here for. How to make friends and keep them. Better said than done. 
The settings where you meet someone are important. It allows you to easily connect with people who are similar to you in any way, without actually having to state it. Here are a few places to meet people.
Church/any religious site (same beliefs)
Sports club (like that sport/exercise) 
Any classes (people who like learning/that hobby) 
School or university (you’ve got something to connect over) 
These are just a few examples of where to meet people, however, you do not have to go somewhere else just to meet someone. Sometimes, I go to my nearest shopping mall or supermarket either after school or on the weekend and talk to any girls who look around my age, with whom I’ve gained so many friends. 
While going to a particular setting helps to find people with similarities, it’s not the essential piece to meet people. 
If you struggle to make friends just by striking up a conversation, just make yourself known to others first. Help them when needed, compliment them or greet them daily. They will most likely approach you first and talk to you first as you’ve deemed yourself approachable. Do not rely on this method though, not everyone is willing to approach you. 
Once you find a potential friend and you’re talking to them, make sure it’s an engaging conversation. First, ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are ones that someone can expand on, basically not yes or no answers. 
Do you own any cats? -> What’s your favourite cat breed? 
Do you enjoy *activity*? -> What’s your favourite thing to do after school? 
When can we hang out? -> Where’s your favourite place to hang out?
These are the kinds of questions that you get to know someone and are engaging. Remember, do not be overbearing with questions, it can come off as kinda odd. 
Secondly, find any similarities and talk about them. For example, a sport, a favourite book, a hobby, religion. It is so easy for people to connect over their favourite things. 
Thirdly, have open and friendly body language. Smile when they’re talking, maintain eye contact, avoid crossing your arms and legs, and lean in to show you’re listening. People love love, good listeners. 
My fourth point which refers back to being good listeners, is remembering what they say. If they said, oh I love going to the beach, maybe suggest going to the beach together. Or, they said, I hate studying, then the next time they have a test, help them study. 
Lastly, avoid small talk. It becomes awkward and the answers are always the same. If you must, ask them about things that happened in their life. Like, how’s that boy you’re talking to or did you do well on that test? 
Most people also hate small talk. So, if every single conservation is just small talk, they would not want to talk to you. 
These little things that you remember can make people like you and therefore, want to be your friend. I remember stuff about people by just writing it down and occasionally referring back to it. 
Now, let’s say you’ve got your friend now. However, you don’t have a way of talking to them every day. They don’t live close by nor do they attend your school/uni/any place. So, how do we keep them?
Easy, invest in those friendships. Talk to them via messages or phone, schedule days to hang out, check up on them to make sure they’re doing well, be honest with them, remember important dates of their lives etc. 
Keeping friends is just about being a good friend to them. Just think about how you would like to get treated by your friends and treat them like that. Even if they don’t reciprocate, putting out those positive actions, will come back to you one day. 
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tpwk-formula1 · 1 month ago
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Oscar piastri.
Gluten-free but can I put a slight change if you don't mind other kind of rivals with him being McLaren's driver and yn be in Ferrari's strategist they're rivals but they're also kind of friends.
red sauce
Prosciutto
anchovies
burata
Cheddar cheese
Dr. Pepper
Diet Coke
Mountain Dew with the reader being a sub
And yes to dessert
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
gluten-free rivals red sauce rough sex proscuitto "I love making this pretty pussy squirt" anchovies "How are you already drenched" burrata "How many was that? three... I think you can give me another" cheddar cheese “cumming for me already? Such a meedy slut” dr pepper dirty talk diet coke recording kink mt dew dom/sub dessert yes served by Oscar Piastri
Oscar x Ferrari engineer! reader
TW - more sweet than rough, multiple orgasms, squirting, unprotected sex, creampie, Oscar and Y/N are literally so in love with each other
WC 1800+
Y/N POV
"Piastri, are you color blind? You're in the red zone not papaya," I state while walking away from Carlos's car and heading to Charles's to make sure his wheel was connecting to my tablet and his helmet was connecting to the radio.
"I was hoping I could speak with you," Oscar tells me softly making me shake my head.
"Find me after the race." I state not even looking up from my tablet.
"Fine," Oscar says which has me looking up to watch as he walks away towards the exit.
"You and the young one?" I hear Fred ask behind me. I whip my body around and give Fred a sheepish look while blushes softly.
"I'm not sure what's going on between us," I admit softly watching as the smile spreads across his face.
"I've only heard good things from everyone about him," Fred says nodding his head making me smile softly and continue working.
Oscar and I had a strange relationship. We work for different teams which make us natural rivals but on a deeper level Oscar was a friend, a good friend, a friend I occasionally share a bed with. It all started professional but as time passed we started playing jump rope on the edge. Started with small kisses on the cheek, to his hands wandering a bit when he would hug me to eventually full sending it and going home with him one night.
The sex between Oscar and I is by far the best sex I have ever experienced. He knew how to be just rough enough to still be extremely enjoyable.
As the day wrapped up I check my phone to find a text from Oscar telling me to meet him at his hotel when I'm done for the day. When I'm finally all done after the race I leave the paddock and instantly make my way to Oscar's hotel room not even worried about changing out of my Ferrari uniform.
"I would say you look beautiful but you're in Ferrari Red," Oscar jokes when he opens the door after I knocked.
"Well hello to you too Oscar," I tease while pushing him in slightly so I could come into the room. Oscar just smiles down at me before pulling me in for a hug and placing a soft kiss on my lips,
"You wanted to talk remember," I tease making Oscar groan softly.
"Yes, but now I want you," Oscar mumbles against my lips and tries to pull me in closer but I resist and pull back.
"No, we talk first," I tell him softly making him take my hand into his and lead my to the couch.
"Truthfully I realized that not being able to see you before I get into the car ahead of a race I get anxious. I think I need you in more ways than just my bed at the end of the day," Oscar admits softly making me smile.
"I'm not sure what you're trying to say but I know I like you and I want you in more ways than just in my bed too," I admit softly watching a smile spread across his face.
"We'll move slow, but I want to give us a real chance," Oscar tells me making me smile and nod my head.
"I would like that," I admit while pulling Oscar in for a kiss and climbing into his lap.
"Fuck, you're insatiable," Oscar groans against my lips when I start grinding down into his lap feeling his cock starting to grow against my clothed core.
"Gotta get you out of this shit," Oscar groans while pulling my shirt up and off my body before he starts up with me still in his arms and takes me to the bed where he yanks my pants down leaving me in my bra and thong while Oscar is still fully dressed.
I feel Oscar's mouth start trailing kisses down my neck before he separated and pulls his shirt off letting my eyes rack over his bare torso.
"Look so good Osc," I mumble while rubbing my hands on his shoulders.
"Fuck please let me take some pictures of you like this," Oscar groans when he finally focuses on my body under him.
"Only for your eyes though," I tell him softly. Oscar just nods before leaning down and placing a few kisses on my lips while grabbing his phone from his pant pocket.
He angles the phone above me and snaps a few pictures before putting the phone near my head and leaning back down to start trailing his mouth down to my pussy where he almost instantly sucks my clit into his mouth making me moan out loudly at the feeling.
"How are you already drenched," Oscar groans against my pussy making me whimper and moan rather loudly.
"Fuck Osc," I moan while gripping into his hair with one of my hands and grabbing his phone and taking a few pictures of Oscar between my thighs before switching to a video and videoing a few seconds of him eating me out before I put his phone back down and completely enjoy the feeling.
I could feel myself growing close to my orgasm and Oscar must sense it too because he speeds up his actions slightly helping bring me over the edge in a massive orgasm.
“Cumming for me already? Such a needy slut,” Oscar groans out while I'm a shaking mess under him. He helps me ride my first orgasm out but doesn't slow down when I start cumming down.
"Too much," I whine when I feel the overstimulation start to take over.
"You can take it," Oscar groans while speeding up his fingers fucking right on my G-spot bringing me closer to another orgasm.
"Fuck Oscar," I moan rather loudly when I feel him bring his other hand down to my clit. I pick up his phone again and start filming Oscar fingering me to another orgasm.
"I'm gonna cum," I moan out softly which has Oscar looking up at me and noticing the camera for the first time.
"Fuck, I'm gonna rewatch that video daily," Oscar groans while speeding up his fingers on my G-spot throwing me over the edge into another orgasm and squirting all over Oscar.
With my back arched and eyes close I do my best to angle to phone correctly but being so overhwlemed in pleasure I'm not entirely sure what I'm filiming.
"Fuck Oscar!" I scream when I finally catch my breath after cumming for the past 30 seconds or so.
"I love making this pretty pussy squirt," Oscar groans while slowing his fingers slightly letting me turn off the video again and put his phone down.
"Can't believe I did that," I say through labored breathing still not fully recovered from such an intense orgasm.
"I need you to fuck me now please," I gasp when Oscar just teases my pussy softly with his fingers.
"I need to see that at least one more time," Oscar groans as he speeds up his fingers hitting my G-spot at an impossibly fast speed.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant when I feel my third orgasm of the night starting to build. I bring a free hand down to my clit and start rubbing small circles on my abused clit throwing me into another squirting orgasm almost instantly.
"Fuck, so hot," Oscar grunts while I'm still squirting my pleasure all over the place while screaming too overwhelmed to do anything but shake around Oscar's fingers.
"Fuck, Oscar that was so good," I whisper not trusting my voice in the moment.
"How many was that? three... I think you can give me another," Oscar states while sitting up and finally pulling his pants off and giving me his dick.
"Fuck, I'm so sentiive right now Oscar," I whimper just seeing his large throbbing dick hanging between his thighs.
"You can take it," Oscar states while pushing into me and thrusting instantly giving me no time to adjust to his rather large size.
"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Oscar hitting all my sweet spots with his dick.
"Fuck, you look so pretty when you take my cock," Oscar grunts while speeding up his thrusts helping build the orgasm I'm already feeling.
"Fuck! Stretches so good," I moan while I feel Oscar's pubes tickle my clit every time he pushes in making the pleasure more intenze.
"Fuck, I'm not gonna last long," Oscar grunts making my clench around him to watch as his face morphs do to the added pleasure.
"Fuck," Oscar grunts as his thrusts falter slightly before he sends one final thrust deep into my pussy making me cum the second I feel his hot cum start to paint the gummy walls of my pussy.
"Fuck," Oscar and I moan at the same time feeling the waves of our orgasms continuously wash over us. Oscar rocks his hips to make sure to ride our orgasms out before he slips out softly leaning down to grab his discarded shirt and cleaning me off the best as possible.
"We can sleep in my room tonight, I know I kinda soaked your sheets," I tell him softly while he's wiping himself down.
"Ya, we can do that. Just wanna relax for a few minutes before we get up," Oscar tells me making me smile and nod while opening my arms waiting for Oscar to join me for a cuddle. Oscar slowly lays down in my arms putting most of his weight on me.
"Pass me my phone please, wanna see you cumming all over my face," Oscar mumbles against my skin making me laugh softly and grab the phone that had been next to my head.
When Oscar opens his phone he groans when he realizes I had filmed more than just when I squirted all over his face.
"Fuck, I was so lost in the pleasure I didn't even noticed you had grabbed the phone again," Oscar whispers over the sound of us fucking. I just smile and lean down to pull him in for a kiss.
"I thought you would enjoy them on weekends I'm too busy to spend anytime with you," I tell him softly making him smile and pull me in tighter.
"I'll make sure we can at least sneak a couple minutes before a race so you can get a good luck kiss," I tell Oscar softly knowing that's always the real reason he comes into the Ferrari garage.
"Good, I want that," Oscar tells me with a small smile.
"Oh! Fred is in full support of us," I saw making Oscar look at me with a raised brow.
"He saw you in the garage and said "you and the young one?" and then told me how he had only heard good things about you, which is his way of saying I picked a good one," I explain softly making Oscar's face grow slightly read at the praise from a rival.
"I can't help but agree. I did pick a pretty good one," I add while leaning down and pulling Oscar back in for a kiss.
"Alright lets get you dressed and head to your room," Oscar says after a few minutes of us just chatting.
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rafesproperty · 1 year ago
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| i have no idea where he came from, but i know i love the hp fandom so much cuz like damn thanks now i got another comfort character
Theo Nott x Reader
+ his friends x reader <3
some of these are angsty bc let’s be real, a relationship with him wouldn’t be a happy sailing all the time
» masterlist
🐍 theo mr. possessive nott — he’s not very talkative, not very outgoing, not very showing, until someone tries to lay a hand on you
“i fucking hate it when he looks at you,” he says every time someone looks at you. he lost a lot as a child, he’s over-protective and overly needy when it comes to you, because finally he has a person he feels love towards — he doesn’t want to lose you too.
so someone even thinking about becoming close to you? no.
🐍 gets into fights a lot… like a lot
🐍 doesn’t know how to handle his anger so he’d often take it out on you (ends in either unfortunate fights or fortunate make outs, or both)
🐍 either rly chill or rly angry
🐍 he loves his friends, wouldn’t ever say it out loud, of course, but he’d die for them, or kill for them, they are his family — super happy you get along with them well <3
🐍 sometimes a bit too well — you and mattheo could tease him for the entire day and say stupid shit and jokes and he’d grow extremely annoyed over it (he loves you both)
🐍 mattheo being super protective over you whenever theo’s not there, he’s like a brother to you
🐍 trusts his friends around you buuut will kiss you every now and then just to remind everyone 🙄
🐍 the train ride to school at the beginning of the year goes like this; theo, mattheo, blaise, draco, enzo and you, but the cabin’s only made for four people, so it’s you on theos lap and enzo squeezed between mattheo and draco because you all refuse to separate… you all listen to dracos complains the whole time
🐍 you and him couldn’t care less about dracos fights with potter and his friend group; theo genuinely does not give a fuck and finds it a waste of time, and you don’t mind the potter group that much so you just don’t participate and often disappear to spend some time together in the forest
🐍 both of you see thestrals and come to deep forest spots to just sit in the grass and watch them
🐍 he notices a lot of things — notices when you are cold and will give you his jacket, scarf or his school robe, he notices it when you go quiet, and just makes sure he’s there with you until you are okay again, he notices when someone makes you uncomfortable and he’ll make sure to make their day a living hell, notices when you like something, when you mind something, when you sound happy or really sad, usually knows what to do to help you
🐍 neither of you is a fan of parties and it usually ends bad if you end up going; theo gets too wasted OR gets himself into another fight, and you don’t handle big groups of people well
🐍 he doesn’t actually enjoy parties at all, he just goes for his friends and status… and you just go for him
🐍 blaise being the hero and distracting you with jokes and his witty remarks so that you wouldn’t focus on the big loud crowd and the fact that theo disappeared somewhere (enzo is clueless and tries to drag you to dance with him — blaise almost punching that guy bc he’s just so dumb)
🐍 theo having the audacity to get mad at you after he returns with a bloody nose and a split lip and seeing you laugh at blaises jokes
“yeah whatever, spend the night with him for all i care”
🐍 you end up crying, he ends up finding you after like five minutes after he said that bc the guilt was eating him alive (also he didn’t want you to spend the night with blaise and he did, in fact, care)
🐍 jealous makeout that night and later on just laying in bed, while you both stare at the ceiling and play with eachothers fingers and hands, and explaining to him how him leaving you alone in a big crowd made you feel anxious and how blaise actually helped a lot, and him agreeing on not going to parties any time soon
🐍 already called you “my girl” “mine” “my baby” a lot but uses it a lot more after that party, especially during heated moments
🐍 might sound ironic but he gives off extremely calm energy when you get to know him, that guy that gets into fights and has bruised knuckles all the time and gives everyone a death glare, is the calmest person you’ve met when you are alone with him
🐍 he likes books — reading together is a big quality time and comfort for him <3
🐍 book shopping dates where he’ll get you the books you want
“oh, i’ve read this, it’s a classic in muggles world,”
“oh,” you keep reading the back of the book for a while, “it sounds interesting,”
he smiles and just takes it from your hands to get it for you, and does this every single time you look at a book or talk about a book
🐍 staying up late in the slytherin common room reading and talking and listening to the fireplace
🐍 he likes to lay on your chest
🐍 you like to wrap your arms around him, and he loves it when you do that, makes him feel safe
🐍 tired studying sessions where you both go “screw it” and lay in bed, cuddle, make out and play with some silly spells like letting your patronus run around (the only happy memories he uses are with you and his friends)
🐍 sneaking off at night just bc it’s thrilling to make out in dark halls full of ghosts
🐍 getting caught and losing house points only to do it again the next night
🐍 astronomy tower dates sound cool at first but everyone goes to astronomy tower to have dates, so eventually you find your own secret spots
🐍 he’s horny 24/7, it had to be said
🐍 doesn’t know how to talk about his emotions so he’ll either show it by being affectionate physically or by protecting you all the time
🐍 will just grab you and start kissing you passionately whenever he feels like it
🐍 you missed so many classes because of him… but oh well
🐍 definitely has a thing for risky makeouts, the danger of getting caught and getting in trouble turns him on
🐍 does that thing where he’ll put a hand on the table corner just so you wouldn’t accidentally hit yourself
🐍 stands in front of you whenever there’s a bigger group of people (especially after what you told him after that one party, he just does it subconciously now)
🐍 mattheo knows too and they’ll just both shield you with their bodies
🐍 switching ties together <3 it doesn’t matter, the student ties are all the same but it’s the feeling that counts
🐍 wearing his scarf as well
🐍 stroking your thigh in class, during dinner, lunch and breakfast in the great hall, mf will sometimes leave a little peck on your neck and have no shame
🐍 doesn’t care about other people, at all, he’s careless when it comes to anyone beside his few friends or you, makes you feel special <3
🐍 he has a lot of mental breakdowns, especially from all the death eater stuff, and won’t allow you to comfort him (eventually he will, but it’s hard for both of you — takes him ages to open up to you)
🐍 yeah, death eater bf — it’s not always easy
he even tried to push you away when it came down to it, but he just couldn’t, so now he tries to keep you away from all these things as much as he can
🐍 he’s good at potions, helps you out a ton
🐍 “hey nott, pair with me?” cuz they all know he’ll save their asses in potions assignments
🐍 “nah I’m with y/n” automatically 🥰🥰
🐍 again, library dates sound cool until you realise everyone goes to study dates in the library, so you’ll end up borrowing books and studying in your room together, undisturbed
🐍 with that being said, there’s usually not much studying…
🐍 “hey, uh— about yule ball,”
“yeah i don’t really care,” he’d mumble while reading a book.
“oh...” your voice would drop. his eyes would look up and study your expression. he’d end up asking about suits and which one to get later that day.
🐍 yule ball actually being a lot of fun <3
🐍 idk but like matching all black outfits to yule ball with his friend group >>>>>
🐍 he’d eventually get bored of the event and drag you out to the quidditch stadion to sit on his lap in the cold night and make out. he’d mumble how perfect you look and how lucky he is, and he’d make sure you feel good (skilled fingers bf)
🐍 ron tried to flirt with you once and he broke his nose
🐍 a guy from ravenclaw tried to flirt with you once and he broke his whole face
🐍 neutral on PDA — he doesn’t see the appeal but he also doesn’t care about others so if he feels like kissing and touching you, he’ll kiss and touch you
🐍 you’re not like him, if someone tries to flirt with him, you don’t go around breaking peoples faces and yelling, rather you shut off and drown in anxiety, he notices so he keeps his role of the “mean guy thats friends with other mean guys” and straight up tells the girl to fuck off (holds your hand right after and shows a bit more PDA that day)
🐍 he doesn’t smile much, which only makes his smile prettier. you love it when you make him smile or chuckle
🐍 holding eachothers hands a lot — it’s just a reminder that you are both there, whether it’s in class, during lunch, watching quidditch, walking down the hall, he likes to feel you are there with him
🐍 his friends just call him nott and people that he’s not close with call him theodore, so you calling him just theo feels somewhat special, and it makes him feel warm inside
🐍 does a thing where he’ll stare at you calmly and make you blush and go “whatt?!” and he’ll just chuckle and say “nothing, my girl’s just pretty”
🐍 all six of you hanging out around the castle or the forbidden forest at night and him squeezing your hip or leg whenever it’s really dark so others wouldn’t see
you teasing him back by pretending something scared you and hugging him real close and ‘accidentally’ brushing your body against his
you both end up frustrated as fuck
🐍 doesn’t say i love you often but when he does he really means it
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i love him sm it’s not even funny anymore.
also do ya’ll think lorenzo knows he’s now completely out of nowhere a face of some random slytherin character? 😭 like that thought of him finding out is just funny to me idk
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opiopal · 2 months ago
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Imagine Beel and Mc cuddling, He is just such a pillow of warmth muscle and fat, that whenever they’re both laying together Mc can’t help but cuddle into him immediately and fall asleep nearly as fast,
Or Mc sitting on beels back when he does push ups, at first Mc is worried about their weight on Beel, despite the fact that no matter what they’re insanely light to Beel. But eventually Mc just takes it as silent bonding time, reading through a comic, book, or magazine, crocheting or drawing or just playing on their phone, occasionally leaning down to give him a little smooth on his neck or shoulder.
Also, hugging Beel is the same deal as Dia lowkey. Whenever Mc hugs him he just always ends up lifting them off the ground slightly in a warm safe hug!!
And I just know getting a hug from Beel would be the most grounding thing in the world. Imagine Mc is extremely anxious and overwhelmed, all day long it’s like they have to beat people off with a stick just to have a second to just be in their thoughts, school work is overwhelming, student council stuff is overwhelming, and- seriously?? Mams and Levi got into another argument?? Jeez, It’s not mc’s job to fix it!! They can be adults and figure it out!! So eventually they notice Beel and just walk up to him and wrap their warms around his massive torso, he’s confused for a second but can sense something is up, so he leans down and hugs them back. Mc just ends up staying like that for a long time before they feel ok enough to pull away. as if Beel would ever mind of course, he loves them so much and just wants to be there for them, even if he has to sit through being hungry for 30 minutes just to silently comfort them.
obviously I’m having a lotta beel thoughts lol,
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toomuchdivergentformyneuro · 3 months ago
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some things i didn’t realize were my ADHD until fairly recently:
(i’m probably combined type btw)
constantly starting new projects and wanting to do loads of things all at once, and then having loads of unfinished ones all over the place because i get tired of them before i can finish them and have another idea that i want to pursue
binge-reading books or whole book series within a few hours/days and not being able to think or do anything else other than that
being suddenly possessed with the urge to clean my entire room every once a month to a few months and not being able to do anything else other than that in that time when i have that urge, and getting incredibly angry and/or anxious when interrupted
being absolutely depressed, anxious, and having SI and/or SH urges/thoughts just because i’m bored, and nothing being able to solve that boredom no matter what i try to do
feeling rejected/unloved/unwanted in a ton of situations because of the way someone worded something
not being able to follow conversations because i keep getting distracted by my trains of thought, and because i can barely understand the person i’m talking to since i can’t hear what they’re saying
forgetting something i was thinking about/told/etc. as soon as i step into a new room/environment
forgetting literally everything, and learning to make lists, checking everything so many times, and thinking again and again about something to make sure that doesn’t happen
always fidgeting in some way, even when not anxious, and needing some sort of stimuli on in the background
my brain racing 90% of the time (the other 10% is when i’m extremely exhausted and my brain is shutting off/has shut off), even when i’m not anxious, and sometimes getting overwhelmed by that
forgetting something from a few seconds ago, and constantly needing to retrace my steps, whether physically or mentally
becoming really attached to someone new incredibly fast, and then feeling nothing (or not as much at least) for them once i’m adjusted to them
and many more things. i might do a part 2 another time, and just keep adding from there. but it’s incredibly astonishing to me that i only recently figured out these things and found answers for it all.
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