#and yes I put her in the best armor in the whole game

[slothquisitor]

Lae’zel of Crèche K’liir.

[arkangelo-7]

What do the members of the Batfamily want for Christmas? No one asked but I headcannoned it either way:

Bruce: Nothing. At least, that’s what he says. But it’s a boldfaced lie. What Bruce actually wants for Christmas? One of those cheap ass plastic drones you can buy at Best Buy or Walmart. He’s saw them on a commercial once and back in ‘08 and has wanted one ever since. Dick is the only one privy to this information, and as such makes it a point to get one for Bruce each year. (They have a tradition on New Years to fly it around the Batcave until it inevitably breaks and cackle wildly at how stupid it looks.)

Dick: Olaplex and a 401k. However, when Christmas Day comes around, he gladly accepts the bougie shampoo/conditioner but refuses to accept the half-mil check Bruce left in his stocking. (He doesn’t need daddy’s money, Bruce, seriously lay off—)

Jason: a crowbar. He asks for this as a joke and gets pissed when Dick actually gets him one. He spends half an hour chasing Dick though the Manor, cursing him out and threatening to beat him up with the menorah. They almost set the Christmas tree on fire. When they’re done Bruce awkwardly gifts Jason a signed, collector’s copy of the Hunger Games trilogy. (He’s wanted it since he was twelve.)

Cass: she’s more of an experiment type of person, and asks to go see a new ballet that’s premiering in downtown. Bruce gives her a cute card with a promise to take her out on a daddy-daughter date to the Gotham Theater. (He rented out the whole place—they’re getting a private showing.)

Tim: Starbucks. Like, the company. Says it’s because he wants to start a monopoly on coffee to insure that his supply won’t be cut off, and price cap the Carmel macchiatos at $3. Bruce gets him a gift card instead.

Steph: Ugg Slippers. Remember that infamous video of that teenage girl getting Ugg slippers and being so so excited and running around the house screaming while her dad was confused and saying, “they’re just slippers…?” Yes. Yes this is Steph and Bruce.

Duke: for a heating system to be installed in his armor. Jesus Christ, it gets cold in Gotham in February, and the insulation is good but Duke’s the type of person who always had cold hands and feet, so he really fucking needs that armor update. (Bruce actually fixes this before Christmas and gets Duke a subscription for Planet Fitness because he saw a commercial for it at work. Duke is confused. Bruce is trying.)

Damian: an Alpaca. Surprisingly, he actually gets this. Bruce legit imports an alpaca from, like, whenever the heck those things come from and gifts it to Damian on Christmas with a bright red bow. (When Dick asks why he never got a hamster all those years ago when he asked, Bruce says it’s because Damian will actually keep the Alpaca alive. Dick has no further argument.)

(Bonus +!) Alfred: a Keurig. He asks for this every year. At this point he has a stockpile of Keurigs and truly, truly does not need an another one, but it’s all that he asks for so that’s what he’s getting. (The kids all write heartfelt letters though to put in his stocking, which is what Alfred actually wants for Christmas.)

[ir-abelas-vhenan]

Losing My Mind Over Veilguard 6/?? Aka the Dread Wolf Double Bind

These posts are getting up here in number (yes ma'am that is 1 2 3 4 5 instances of me not being able to get my shit together and coming back again for more)

and quite frankly there's nothing I can do about it until the "we've been treated and tormented by this game" demon has been exorcised from my body, so here we go again.

Today I give to you:

(Modeled after Inquisition Solas and his sad, bald-ass basset hound mage bum glory becuase I think it's important that newcomers know exactly who his fans fell in love with/who inspired his enemies to conduct speed-runs to punch him. Yassified Solas ran only because this mangled membranous man crawled first)

Part of what's making me lose my mind here, I've discovered, is a strange sort of survivor's guilt where everything I really like or really hate about Veilguard can be traced back to Solas and I don't know how to deal with it because we've never had such a divide before between one character getting ALL the content and everyone else from their game being left in the absolute dust.

Disclaimer: Yeah, no one from Origins has had more screen time across games than Morrigan at this point, and therefore no one has gotten more robbed of the substance of their character, but even the damage done to her wasn't the kind that warped an entire game. No, the devs saved that all for the Dread Wolf in the Room.

Even putting it down on paper and comparing the two in-game versions of him, it took me a second to work through why I'm so conflicted, but I think I've finally settled on a few key points.

Concern #1: Solas Haters Were Robbed.

Part of the allure of Solas is that if you want to punch that man in the face, you're gonna get the chance to punch him in the face. Is that my personal preference? No. But in a game where your companions are built to make you think instead of letting you turn your brain off, you're bound to have personalities that clash against yours. To have such a non-descript-looking iambic-pentameter-talking apostate be able to inspire strong emotions across the whole spectrum of players was part of his appeal. Now, as far as I understand it, you have four options at the end of Veilguard.

1. Solas lives and he might actually not hate himself some day.

2. Solas lives and he's absolutely going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates himself.

3. Solas lives and he's going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates YOU.

4. Solas lives and you better hope he never again figures out how to live in your general vicinity

Do you see my concern here? I, shamelessly, can admit that I would do unspeakable fictional things to get that man his happy ending (within reason...mostly...), but I feel like the game took the opportunity away from the players who threw that knife in their map at the end of Trespasser and vowed to take a bitch down for stealing their best armor and waxing poetic about the Grey Wardens while seemingly sitting on his ass and having no inclination to stop the blight (help). This, then, leads me into my second issue.

Concern #2: The Game Refuses to Give Solas room outside of its own agenda

In the near-decade it took for Solas to slip back into his trickster god persona, he seems to have forgotten why he began his quest to tear down the veil in the first place. I like that Rook gets to experience the version of our favorite hard boiled egg that near-singlehandedly tore down several empires by being an absolute terror to those with bigger egos. I like that new players are going to hear Solas tell them that they've earned his respect and actually believe it until they inevitably get their first taste of ancient elven betrayal. What I don't like? When a nuanced yearning for a world in which three majorly mistreated groups (spirits, elves, mages) would be free from many of the constraints that enabled their oppression suddenly becomes "I am doing this because if I don't I have betrayed my friend. Which friend you ask? Oh, the one that was on board with my plan until it no longer suited the story."

The combo of few characters from previous games and a sanitized near-blank slate for the setting of this game was deadly to one of its best-written characters. Because of it, Solas is forced to abandon his double-speak, the joy he takes in giving you scraps of an answer that, by the time you get it, you will already have missed the chance to piece it together from separate clues that he ALSO dropped. He's not going to get to show you the loyal followers the epilogue of Inquisition made clear that he has, because the game wants to usher you into the new future of the series. You're not going to get to ask him (or any NPCs for that matter) a bunch of questions so that you can form your own opinion of him, because all that matters is that he isn't Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain so let's move along, shall we?

Because the game needs exposition and a foil to its two other baddies, and needs it FAST, the mythic Dread Wolf becomes a plot device designed to get you where you need to go when you need to be there. It doesn't work purely for that reason alone, at least in my opinion, but it gets so much worse when a game that promises you that it's going to work for players new and old relies on someone experienced players want a personal reckoning with to guide every Rook through the game only to realize that those questions of morality regarding whether the veil is torturous for a subjugated few or the only thing preserving most of life as we know it are going to have to remain questions.

You don't get a choice of whether Solas is in your party or not, and you can't advance in the game without talking to him. You don't get to choose not to impress him. You don't get to choose whether you're going to work with him in the final battle, and as previously mentioned, your only real choice in how his story ends is one of four options in which he lives every time in varying states of self-loathing. You're still going to love him or hate him, but just how strongly you're able to show those feelings towards him is severely curtailed. And that's an absolute shame for a character that commanded such fierce attention.

And that's where, ultimately, I find myself with a weird amount of survivor's guilt.

When I finished my Veilguard playthrough, I had barely a moment to fully contemplate the amount of whiplash and disappointment I felt going from a Solas that I had spent almost a decade knowing to a One Dimensional Fen'Harel who threw out his core values and goals like they were chilling in a cup of tea before. Why? Because I very quickly felt guilty. And then I got angry for feeling guilty!

The game's failure to adequately represent its other characters and lore has created a world in which I don't like the Solas we've been given, but I can't live without him either. Who am I to complain that his most complex and compelling features are gone when other players are mourning the fact that the last they may ever hear of their favorite character is reduced to a scrap in the codex? How can I be frustrated at how the Lavellan reunion scene goes down when other players would kill for the chance to have their Inquisitor seemingly give any sort of shit about being in the game aside from being told it was mandatory to earn participation points? How can I lament the fact that his storyline seems to share all the wrong lessons to be learned from a toxic friendship rooted in a never-equalized power imbalance when someone else is watching Morrigan pull a complete 180 and wondering why the fuck they spent so much time researching whether or not her accepting her mother's choices as her own was what she truly wanted? At least Solas still loves Lavellan, even though we needed to ask Trick Weekes several follow up questions just to double check. At least Solas gets more in the epilogue than one empty "we remember the heroes that came before" platitude.

And to suddenly fear any appearances of past characters from a studio that used to make me stay up theorizing about how a character might grow and evolve and continue to impact the world I helped shape? It's depressing as hell, and it's why I was too scared to get attached to any of the new companions once I finally got past the writing and lack of complexity.

The people that hate Solas, deserved better.

The people that valued what he brought to their Inquisitor's small but strong group of friends deserved better.

The people that love Solas more than Sera loved pissing him off deserved better.

And new players, who had a chance to engage with one of the most powerful storylines in the game and instead got a heaping dose of Deus Ex Machina Lite, deserved better.

If taking a character that had the potential and power needed to shape an entire continent and banishing him one of four different ways to Fade jail so that the book could quickly be closed on a years-long legacy is what the studio is calling a return to their roots, I'll stick with the efforts of fans to create art and theories that aren't afraid to double down into what actually keeps people coming back for more.

[vanguarddawn]

There's something I've been thinking about tonight that I really don't quite know how to explain, but I'm going to try it anyways.

It all regards a question I've received several times over the years: Why is Walhart one of my favorite Awakening characters, when Edelgard is my least favorite Fire Emblem character? Aren't their goals essentially the same?

This is a question I mostly receive from Edelgard fans who usually don't want to listen to what I actually have to say about either character, and just want to try and put the legitimacy of my biases under scrutiny, usually with accusations of misogyny being thrown in for good measure. And I've never really had an answer for them, not because I didn't want to get involved in that discussion, but because I had always judged Walhart and Edelgard based on gut feeling rather than deeper analysis.

Honestly, the more I look into them both in comparison to one another, the more vast that rift becomes. I'm not necessarily starting to like Walhart even more, but I'm definitely learning to like Edelgard even less, something I'd thought was impossible. I do not have the time or patience to write out a full Edelgard analysis, and honestly I don't want to do that either. So I'll talk about what connects them and what differentiates them.

Walhart and Edelgard are, on the surface, somewhat similar characters. They are both the leader of their nation, and seek to unify the rest of the continent through force, and ultimately intend to forge a world where man can only rely on their own strength rather than that of the gods. Both are armored axe wielders primarily associated with the color red, and both bear inhuman levels of physical strength. Both can potentially end up being defeated by the kindhearted king of the nation they invaded who seeks to strengthen the existing world through structural reform rather than wiping the slate clean, and cherish the power of bonds over the strength of the individual.

So why do I love Walhart but hate Edelgard again? Simple.

Walhart is absolutely fucking delusional. Dude is straight up off his rocker, and the game is actually willing to acknowledge this rather than trying to defend it. He truly believes in his whole "unity through conquest" bullshit, and is only willing to let go of it when he's defeated by Chrom. And you know what he does, instead of Edelgard's "if only i had your strength we could have made the world a better place together" stuff?

Walhart concedes. He basically just tells Chrom and Robin "alright, you guys won, you clearly know what's best for the world. I was wrong, might does not make right, and from now on I'm gonna do things your way." Of course he says it in his own distinctly Walhart way, but the message is still the same. While he doesn't come to accept the real message that Chrom and Robin were trying to send, one of bonds and togetherness, he does realize that his way of going about securing and maintaining peace was wrong. I understand that Edelgard also concedes somewhat in VW/SS, but in AM she tries to murder her salvation after being given one last chance to redeem herself, and in CF she successfully conquers Fódlan so there's no redemption to be done.

It also helps that the god Walhart was trying to stop to begin with was objectively evil and not just a traumatized archbishop. Yes, Rhea does some incredibly fucked up things, but comparing her to Grima, who literally destroys the entire world just for funsies, can't really be done in good faith. Rhea is more compelling as an antagonist because she actually has nuance - nuance that Grima mostly lacks.

I also want to address some localization weirdness regarding both characters. In Awakening's English localization Walhart's goal of crushing the Grimleal is only made clear after the player has already defeated him and is headed to stop the ongoing resurrection of Grima. The English localization of Three Houses, on the other hand, may as well be Edelgard apologist fanfiction with how much it rewrites her character to make her look completely justified in starting her war, including actively writing mentions of civilian conscription and execution, as well as foreign military operations out of the English script, and adding a line to her endings stating that she gives up power once her dream of a Crest-less Fódlan has been realized. She is a completely different character between scripts.

I also like how Walhart is written entirely seriously about even the most mundane of things in his barracks and DLC conversations. If you thought he was crazy about military, wait until you hear his opinion on vegetarianism (he is one and he intends to make it your problem).

Basically, I like Walhart because he isn't meant to be endearing. Awakening makes no effort to redeem him or justify his actions, because they are ultimately unjustifiable. Edelgard did essentially the same thing he did and required a whole game rewrite to justify allowing the player to side with her at all.

[redguns]

Armored Core 6 main cast thoughts. spoilers for all endings

btw. categorizing endings by number rather than if they're "good" or bad" because i think thats stupid. if you categorize them like that you're a fool! Coral take you!

Starting off with Handler Walter. Went into the game not trusting him at all. Whenever he said anything I always thought "Yeah, okay, whatever Walter. in that kind of mocking tone but that changed quicker than i thought once i realized there was a genuine care in his voice and started putting the pieces together for his end-goal. The second ending is genuinely heartbreaking. He really meant every word he said to you. And I adore him for it. View him like a father now

Moving on, Ayre. My beautiful coral anomaly wife.. her kinder and more supportive demeanor immediately sold me, of course, but it was her efforts to actually get me to care about Rubicon as a planet and it's people that really hit. It's special. It's tasteful. It feels great. And it hurts all the more in the first ending when I have to discard all of that. It sucked so much. I was on the verge of tears throughout the whole final boss of the first ending. Worst break-up of my life. Girl I love you so much

Up next, speaking of love, is "Cinder" Carla, who I fell in love with like, 2 lines in? Very attractive voice and then an incredible personality to go with it. Probably the most fun character in the game by design and it goes a long way. She's like a role model to me. I want to be her and I want to date her at the same time. She's just like me Fr. I want to kiss her

transitioning from that to V.IV- SIKE IT'S "CHATTY" STICK TIME Phenomenal. Absolutely incredible performance. Absolutely sells the no emotion AI aspect without being too overbearing. Armored core as a series has always had a high standard for AI characters, and chatty is absolutely at the top of the pile for me along with Chief from V... I love him so much... The strongest little soldier...

Up next, for real now, is V.IV Rusty. What a strong first impression. It was always his line that stuck with me from the trailer. Ready to climb over the wall? They nailed the "rival pilot who's just like you but in another faction" to a degree I haven't seen in decades. A genuine brother in arms. My best buddy in the world. Every time he showed up in the game he just did the coolest fucking thing in the world. Slides right under the door as its opening. Crackshot sniper nailing insane headshots. And then he gets the coolest fights in the game against you. BOTH OF THEM!! HE'S SO COOL!!! HE'S HIM!!!!!! I WAS SO HAPPY IN THE SECOND ENDING ROUTE TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE HIM!!!! THATS MY BROTHER!!!!!! THATS MY BUDDY!!!!!!!!!

..Ahem, moving on then. V.II Snail. Yes. Another motherfucker they nailed perfectly. From the first SECOND you hear his voice you hate him. The fact his head's up his own ass. The fact you keep learning over and over throughout the game that he's SUCH a piece of shit. The fact there is nothing he wouldn't do to stay on top. Despicable little man. Absolutely brilliant antagonist.

And now, finally, the last main character to talk about is G5 Iguazu. Where to begin with this guy... Right from the get go you understand the kind of character he is. All bark, no bite. Every now and then you run into him, you kick his ass, he whines and seemingly gets away. It's interesting, then, that in the second playthrough, already, he shows up more. He sends an assassin after you. And that's that. Nothing until route 3, where it all finally comes together. How he keeps coming back. The ringing in his ears. His hatred and envy of you so strong he gives up his entire body just for a chance to beat you. He's fascinating to me. For whatever reason, his final words stick to me like glue. How he sees you, despite everything. A relic, yes, but one who's free. He wanted those wings, too. I've really come to love him, and what an annoying brat he is. That's his entire charm. He is welcome to the pantheon of Real Haters

there. that covers all the main players. that ended up being longer than i expected. thank you if you humored reading through all of that! i dont usually do these kinds of posts cause i go on for too long!

but this shit mean something to me man

[black-quartz-sphinx-judge-my-vow]

Iolanthe, Queen of the Golden Beryl Palace

Pinch me I’m in love.

Third in characters, who I decided I would love based solely on their art, the others being 1st Place Gleaming Genisis, and The Lunar who's name escapes me. No one ever remembers 2nd place :(. Well if you judge enough books by their covers, eventually the writer will do service to their artist.

Is it a coincidence that I'm in love with both of the big bad fae characters? I dunno, but I'm happy we're here.

So first things first. Apparently when The Scarlet Empress activated the swordofcreation.net it covered the land in iron needles, to burn and kill all of the fae. Um.... freaking baller! That's so cool! I was always told she just nuked the world, which was always highly disappointing, and inconsistent with the setting. I much prefer the idea that the swordofcreation.net can just produce whatever world ending weapon you need for that particular instant. Iron needles to cover the earth? You got it. Nuclear Armageddon? No problem! A media ecosystem specifically designed to radicalize it's viewers, and turn them into facists? We're on it.

Iolanthe is a Fae Prince who managed to hide her people under ground in the southwest of The Enchanted Isle, and there she has ruled for three hundred years. Now that the Empress is gone, she looks to build and army, and finish the crusade she started centuries ago.

And sure it's upsetting that one of her intimacies is pretty much "The South Will Rise Again.", and yes she's probably not vaccinated, and maybe I let her borrow $500 dollars to pay for her ex's bail money, but I love her!

Her gown is sewn from the vows of her subjects, um very cool. Especially since it gives her 16 Soak and 7 Hardness. She's covered in gold and jewels, and has a hearthstone the size of an egg. She carries no weapons because her words alone, can kill a man. Yes please.

I'm a real sucker for the vain queen archetype, and I think Iolanthe fulfills her role perfectly. Her defining Intimacy is "No one will contest my beauty and power." which has got to be a rough way to live your life. If no one can contest your power... you're just going to keep fighting until you're dead, basically. Sad. Her more interesting intimacy is that she views The Golden Beryl Palace as her pet... so like... is it alive? I personally think her having a huge crystal elemental that she uses as a palace, is awesome.

Furthermore she's got a whole host of minions and secrets she's collected during her years of exile. It's interesting to note that she knows the locations of ancient exalted burial sites, not just solar! Soooo that's really interesting right? Entire complexes dedicated to the exalted built during their war with the primordial? I'd do it. Arlington Cemetary for legions of Dragonblooded soilers. She's also made deals with the mountainfolk, stupid sexy house Iselsi, and proto-humans. So you can take this to mean things like neanderthals/ troglodytes typical underdark stuff. Or you could go the way of Adam Kadmon, which is basically Adam of The Bible before he was put into a physical and earthly vessel, essentially perfect humans. We imagine these proto-humans were found in caves, but what if Iolanthe just found vaults created by the primordial for some of their experiments? These humans were a little too powerful for what they had planned for Creation, so they hid them away and worked on teaching humans how to fart and be racist. They give you lots of chances to make her a big bad in your game, including an excuse for giving her a big bloated army.

During Earthquakes her people will rise out of the ground, and drag people down into their crystal lair, either turning them into food, or she'll just step on them until they're so in love they'll fight for her. Which includes equipping them with flawless fae weapons and armor.

Her stats are superhuman, some of the best/the best in the book. I don't know nothing about previous editions. But I did hear that when Fae was a player choice, their whole thing is that their stats could go beyond 5, so it's cool that her own stats reflect that. With a 7 in Apperance and charisma, and a 6 in Stamina.

One of her charms let's her use your own intimacies against you, when she uses her voice to kill you, she can talk about your intimacies and reduces your soak, hardness, and cover bonus by and amount equal to your intimacy, Sick! An attack wich already, by itself does 15 dice of damage. Her ultimate attack is that she does an attack against your character's resolve, and for every extra success, she reduces your willpower by 1, if it goes to zero, you either get a defining derangement, or are polymorphed... FOREVER!

For defense she has a charm that just let's her ignore, any defense negating abilities you have. (I.e she effortlessly grabs the attack, that literally says unblockable between her fingers like it's nothing. But the even cooler/ way dumber charm, makes it so if an attack kills her, you discover that you've been fighting an illusion. A nearby combatant throws off their disguise revealing that they were Iolthane the entire time! Then she resets to base Initiative, hilarious.

She has Intimacy overriding charm, but her really interesting charm, allows her to grant a character supernatural dedication on a quest she's given then. This not only gives them a number of bonus dice to all of their actions equal to the intimacy she used to manipulate them, it also gives them Intimacyx2 Mutations to help with the question. Perferct PERfect PERFECT! for those character's who your team has eclipsed, coming back for their miniboss fight at the end of the campaign!

She also makes it harder to resist her, playing with your intimacies, making it cost up to THREE willpower to resist her temptations.

Okay, a little extra reading did in fact reveal that The Golden Beryl Palace, is an elemental. A Gemlord, who was once a prince among the earth elementals. It's a mile wild elemental that the fae live in. It's memory has been erased, and all the remains is it's loyalty to Iolanthe, kind of sad actually. He can sense the nature of anything inside of him, and also has instant telecommunication with Iolanthe, so good luck getting away with anything while inside the palace. Oh, wait, you're solars.

Rating: 10/10 long-ass nails, drumming bordely on her fainting couch. Absolutely marvelous, great work, very pushed. I have no idea why she was paired with Siluris, both writeups were so good, and had so much content. Definitely one of the better packages of the group. Love her! I'm already thinking about introducing her in my Dragonblooded campaign.

Misc. Golden Beryls are basically just Yellow Saphires/ Emeralds. They're found in Namibia, Madagascar, and Brazil. You can see them in her Jewlery, anklet, necklace, and big ass ring.

If you squint her name looks like Lolth, and her people are basically the Drow. I dunno, I thought that was funny.

Iolanthe, is also a Gilbert and Sulivan Opera, about the fairy Iolanthe who arranged all the fairies' music and dance, but was banished for the crime of loving a mortal.

Hooks:

1. The name Iolanthe has been scrubbed from the records of man. All but forgotten, to the realm. Only the people of the south, the lands she scoured before coming to the blessed isle remember her name. When they speak of it, they talk as if referring to some primordial terror, abomination, or even natural disaster. They only know that whole valleys of civilization were wiped away by the Iolanthe, and now on The Blessed Isles, those who claim to see the future, shudder and convulse, the only thing to escape their lips is madness, and a single name: Iolanthe.

2. When the civil war breaks out, the relatively empty Southwest is neglected and forgotten, it's the backyard, of a Great House, and not very contested. Until practically overnight, that house falls into ruin as Iolanthe rises from The Southwest to claim their lands. With monsters, and hordes of fanatical follower, the great houses must now contend with yet another hopeful for the throne. Iolanthe only ever feared one woman, and now that's she's gone, she'll bring ruin to The Scarlet Empresses' legacy. Revenge for the humiliation she's endured for three centuries.

3. Iolanthe has had enough of hiding beneath the earth. She now seeks to park her home on the tallest point in creation. Like King Kong The Golden Beryl Palace emerges from the earth, and begins to climb to the top of The Imperial Mountain. From her perch upon the word, she will speak and all of creation will hear her. First she will make them all love her, and shout their praise in a single voice. Then she will drive them mad, and then once nothing is left of civilization, culture, or meaning, she will simply ask creation to stop.

4.Iolanthe is nearly unstopable, her powers are too immense, too deadly, too dangerous. However, no matter how many victories she scores against he players, it's never enough. She must always live with the fact that she wasn't able to beat The Scarlet Empress. The players can use this to distract her from her mission of world domination, or maybe this thought occurs to Iolanthe if she's already won, for some sort of post-loss campaign, but nothing she's done has any meaning if she did it without besting The Scarlet Empress. She must find her, and beat her to prove that Iolanthe's beauty and power is uncontested. Once the players have convinced her of this, she drops everything, world domination, her armies, and schemes and pours everything she has into finding her rival. Buying the players enough time to figure out a way to destroy her. Maybe Iolanthe actually helps the players goals, if they're truly set on finding The Scarlet Empress.

5. Iolanthe either as herself or as maybe a kindly witch, or other friendly lass asks the players for help, in completing a quest. A quest that happens to fit perfectly into their intimacies. Unforunately for them as soon as they accept Iolanthe rips off her disguise and reveals her true form, but her bewitching charms make it so they can't help but zealously pursue the quest they agreed to go on. Furthermore Iolanthe grants them mutations based to help with their quest, and bonus die on all their actions. The quest is in their interest, destorying a Dragonblooded army or something like that. The players find their mutations quite useful, and they're more powerful than ever serving her... They may be tempted to stay on her side, and even if they're not, she'll provide that temptation for them.

[petefromarma]

hey, it’s the non-abo anon again! i read the new chapter and like, okay. wow. i thought patrick was rationalizing and excusing etc etc, but he does not even know, huh. he could not be more clueless. like, he thinks pete is jealous bc travie is his friend??? babe, he is trying to cockblock you every chance he gets. if the jealousy has simmered AT ALL it’s bc he probably figures something more would have happened between you two by now if it was gonna happen at all. but he’s not happy about it! and trying to talk after a travie visit is not how to catch him in a better mood. rip. he’s so stupid.

i feel like their wires are so crossed rn. pete’s idea of showing patrick he’s serious about him is to treat him like they’re already in a relationship but bc of societal norms surrounding omegas (i think?) this just pisses him off. not to disrespect omegas (as if they were real lol) but i feel like patrick would not have such a problem with pete behaving this way if they were in a relationship. like he’s mad bc he feels like he shouldn’t let pete treat him like this bc it makes him a stereotype but also it’s humiliating bc it’s coming from someone who he believes doesn’t even want him like THAT. but like, if he realized pete DID want him he’d be like “i should be mad, i’m a little mad, but this is mostly fine 🥰” but this is a patrick-specific problem #notallomegas

anyway, impressed with how stone cold travie is. like, he knows but until they figure it out he doesn’t see why it should stop him from getting some friends-with-benefits action and it couldn’t be me but i respect his game

wahhh these asks are so sweet, thank you for reading and sending me your thoughts anon 😭❤️

yeah patrick is just flat out kind of oblivious (and a little dumb lol) so yes you’re definitely right but there are some other elements at play there too that we’ll be getting into more as the fic progresses. it’s not entirely patrick’s obliviousness that’s hindering their progress ig is the best way to put it lol

also yeah 100% (so true btw #omegarights) that’s absolutely part of it for patrick re pete’s behavior; mostly he just wants the whole debacle with the interview to end because he doesn’t want to have to think about it, or any of the implications posed by it, but he’s also like

because he’s uncomfortable with himself, in general, plus slipping back into disordered habits, and he doesn’t want to be perceived, like, at all. he’s built up armor around the “wow, patrick stump looks UNRECOGNIZABLE post weight loss!” comments and shit like that, for a while they even made him feel…not good, but satisfied, and helped fuel his eating disorder during soul punk era, but in his head, people talking about his body in any way will eventually shift to people talking about his weight, how much he’s gained back, wondering if he’s pregnant, etc. he wants people to think of him as attractive and desirable, but not too much, and he kind of tries to play into the desexualized cutesy wallflower thing post soul punk (while still being kind of slutty at heart lol) and it sort of works, but as he starts to gain weight back again his self image is beginning to tank (again) and he’s very aware of the fact that he’s now in his 30s with no mate and kind of terrified of commitment/still in (what he thinks) is unrequited love with pete (that he himself still kind of hasn’t acknowledged is love in the romantic sense)

elisa calling him about it also stoked his anger, and tbh if he had seen pete’s tweets on his own, he still would’ve been mad but the embarrassment of her going in on pete made it worse, because then patrick felt like he had to defend him, because he hates it when anyone other than himself is angry at pete or treating him in a way that patrick perceives is unfair. so, like, he knows that what pete did was bad, he knows elisa has a point, but he’s still going to defend him, which adds another level of humiliation to the whole debacle

in this au elisa doesn’t really, like, love pete lol. she doesn’t hate him and she accepts that he’s part of patrick’s life but she can see clearly that they’re codependent and she also obviously knows the story of how they met so she thinks pete’s kind of a creep. basically how one would perceive their best friend’s loser boyfriend. this is made worse by the fact that obviously she sees and talks to patrick far more than she does to pete so most of their interactions retold to elisa are going to be already filtered through patrick’s tainted interpretations fueled by obliviousness and some self hatred

and the stereotype thing is also…yeah. because with elisa too, he perceives her as being highly successful, which she is, but also, he’s like, oh, she has a real job, and she’s assertive, and not a doormat, she doesn’t let people walk all over her, i wish i could be like that, unable to realize that he also does indeed have a real job and is kind of mean as hell lol (not to say he isn’t aware of his anger issues, because he is, he knows alcohol in particular makes him cruel, but he perceives himself as meek as well because he struggles with standing up for himself in a way that isn’t rage fueled) because he’s caught up in his own self esteem issues and this weird self fulfilling prophecy he’s created for himself

sorry i rambled way too much lmfao but yeah patrick is like, i can’t keep going through life letting anyone, especially an alpha who i’m not mated to, clean up my messes for me; i have to be independent because i’m my own person (which is ironic, since pete sees patrick as one of the people who always had to clean up HIS messes). this is something he’s always going to have a problem with, because he thinks he SHOULDN’T want or need someone to care for him, but yeah, it’s worse in this scenario because he thinks pete pities him, and that he wants to have a claim to him while also having plausible deniability that they’re not actually, like, together. if they were together i think you’re right that it would’ve been a little more 🥰 for him, and maybe in the heat of the moment they would’ve gone in on him together like the morris incident, but i do think patrick still would’ve felt humiliated and gotten mad at pete for going off like that without consulting him first, considering the body image issues he’s having at this point in time

also, yeah, travie is…yeah 😭 i’m not sure if this is like spoiler-y or not lol but travie is extremely close with both pete and patrick and he’s sort’ve of two minds of the whole thing; he knows pete has been in love with patrick for, like, years, and while travie and patrick have been attracted to each other since the day they met, travie didn’t instigate anything until around, like, 2007-ish, when it became clear pete was serious about ashlee, because before that he thought SOMETHING would have to happen eventually with pete and patrick and he didn’t want to betray pete who’s a brother to him. but he also loves patrick (platonically, romantically, whatever, they just love each other) and it was eventually like…alright well if you’re not gonna eat the last slice of cake…

another thing is just that. like. decaydance was kind of sucking and fucking central lol like pete had his thing with ryan and ashlee and a few other on and off sexual relationships (him and travie included, like, once, while they were both at a low point in their lives). so while travie knows that pete knows about his and patrick’s occasional friends-with-benefits thing, pete hasn’t brought it up, for multiple reasons, but if he did, travie would call him out for being a hypocrite lol

i think travie ALMOST post pete breaking up with meagan decided to call it off, because he obviously knows WHY pete broke up with meagan, but like…he also loves patrick, and travie’s going through a rough patch in his own life, and he wants the comfort of his friend, plus he knows patrick would be hurt if he started giving him the cold shoulder when they’ve been sleeping together on and off for almost a decade. so unless pete actually ASKS patrick to be in a relationship with him or asks travie to stop sleeping with him, travie’s just gonna keep on keeping on lol

sorry i hope that wasn’t too much 💀 but again thank you sm for reading and i’m glad you enjoyed the last chapter!! ❤️

[potatobugz]

hi!!! I saw your bfdi high fantasy au and I am insane so could you explain to me each of the like,,, roles/classes/skills the DPA guys have!! I could tell Pie was a knight/paladin looking gal, Tree was an archer/ranger, Black Hole looked magical (sorcerer of some kind???) etc but I’d love to hear you go into more detail about it :DD

Yes!! Id be more than happy to :D

Pie - Paladin/Knight, which was exactly what i was going for :3 this was mostly an excuse to put pie in a suit of armor/j but i can see her swearing an oath to preventing death or something like that

Tree - Tree is definitely a ranger! hes very in tune with nature (natural perk that comes with Being A Tree) and is great with directions. out of all the DPA guys i think tree would probably be the best at.. keeping people alive

Black Hole - Sorcerer! Black Hole specializes in destructive (possibly necrotic) magic, which isnt the best when you're trying to prevent death, but it's not entirely their fault. in this au, black hole is cursed! anything they touche starts to decay

Marker - WIZARD! hey guys im so normal about wizards. did you know this? Marker uses (you guessed it) a purple marker to cast their magic. (he also uses it to write runes and such) generally theyre very artistic and like playing games. silly little guy

Lightning - Barbarian, maybe with elemental magic as a bonus? Lightning can't hold concentration on spells but he can absorb elements and shock the hell out of people, as a treat. He has anger issues hes trying to work on. generally very inquisitive & asks for clarification a lot

Fanny - ROGUE.... the most rogue coded girl ever to exist. i dont know why she gives off those vibes, she just does. I think of fanny as being rebellious & having strong ideals that she sticks to. also she gets to stab people. it just feels right to me

Remote - i can see her as maybe an Artificer, on top of generally being a Girl whos a Robot. her transgender swag. I imagine she's pretty smart & i think its fitting for her to build little gadgets (and or bombs bc of that one time she sent robot flower a bomb) her whole character revolves around the amount of control she has in her life (yes thats a pun) (i like her a lot)

[callsignbaphomet]

I'm kinda not doing anything at school right now (I started this big bitch on Wednesday lol) so I'm just gonna spam about my babies. To be specific their Fallout versions.

To recap Loke and Jelani are originally from Washington (Capital Wasteland). Both born and raised near Megaton. Their parents were originally from other parts but ran off together and landed there.

To recap Sanaa (Loke and Jelani's mother) was born into the Enclave where she racked up ranks like it was a video game. She wasn't just a sniper. She was THE MOTHERFUCKING SNIPER. One shot, one kill; no luck, all skill type of sniper. She was a magician with any weapon she got her hands on but she was a goddess when she got her hands on a sniper. She was also incredibly adept at infiltration and hacking. It just came naturally to her. By 8 she was hacking complex security systems and getting into rooms she had no business being anywhere near. Yes, she got into a lot of trouble.

Ingvarr (Loke and Jelani's father) came from a very long line of NCR veteran rangers. Like, the family has been serving since the NCR was first established. So the Haakonsons have a bit of a rep in the NCR. Ingvarr handles lots of weapons rather well but once he gets his hands on a shotgun it's like an extension of him. He's also gifted in hand to hand combat and there is no bomb or explosive he can't make or dismantle. At 7 he was making bombs and setting them off. It was also the same age where he had one go off and burned his right leg and is completely deaf in his right ear with a little bit of loss on his left.

Sanaa left the Enclave after her parents passed away. She wandered for a while until she settled in a small settlement who unfortunately was harassed by raiders. They reached out to the NCR but they denied helping them because it wasn't in their best interest and they couldn't be bothered to help a little settlement of less than 20 people. So they gave the excuse that they were stretched too thin. Ingvarr was just completely disgusted. He was already disillusioned with the NCR as a whole and this was the straw that broke the camel's back. So he (basically having earned his black armor recently) grabbed all his shit, his dad's helmet and some extra bullets, went awol and went to help the settlement.

See, Ingvarr was the embodiment of joining to help and protect innocent people and seeing the powerhouse that is/was the NCR just ignore innocent folk in their time of need just made him rabid. So he quit.

He and Sanaa teamed up and cleaned house in the blink of an eye. He settled in this tiny ass little tin can of a building in the settlement and he and Sanaa were like the security. They worked together for a while and naturally got close and before the year was over Ingvarr moved in with Sanaa. Then they got married. They found some suitable replacements and they just had a little adventure of their own and settled near Megaton and then Loke happened.

Now! In their original versions Loke is actually from Ingvarr's first marriage and they look really similar to Ingvarr's first wife. She's not around anymore obviously. Loke was an accident and she never ever wanted kids but she never really said anything to anyone. She just felt like it was something she HAD to do so she kept putting it off until she got pregnant. The entire pregnancy for her was horrible, she was uncomfortable, angry, depressed but her stupid ass didn't say anything so no one knew how she really felt. Unfortunately like a week after giving birth she grabbed Loke and was gonna drown him but she was stopped in time. While they attended Loke she ran away and was never found again. But then 4 months later Sanaa showed up and the rest is history. Loke is her stepson but that's her fucking son and she is their one and only mother. Also they are fully aware of the woman that birthed them but they want ZERO to do with her. To Loke Sanaa is their mother and they are her son, nothing else matters in that aspect of their life.

So for all the au versions we'll just have to suspend a little disbelief for any of them to make sense so just go with it lol

Now, being the son of an Enclave officer (idk what the ranks are. I'll look later) and an NCR veteran ranger meant that from the very moment Loke was able to stand on his own two feet he was trained and educated like his parents were. He learned how to read, write, first aid, medicinal basics, radiation prevention and treatment, trigger discipline, how to handle weapons, how to clean weapons, how to dismantle and put back weapons, maintaining weapons and armor, how to cook, clean, hunt, clean food, basic repairs, history, maths, science, navigation, and anything and everything else they knew. Basically they wanted to prepare him to survive the wasteland.

Then 14 years later Jelani came around. Unfortunately, when Jelani was 3 years old some folks from Megaton had made a bit of a mess when they pissed off some slavers who followed them back to Megaton to start some shit. So some folks who weren't afraid to fight back gathered and with the family in Megaton that day Sanaa and Ingvarr caught wind of what happened and wanted to help. This time their desire to help was just a tiny bit selfish because slavers were sniffing around the area and they sure as fuck didn't want that kinda garbage around their tiny babies.

Sadly there was a traitor within the group and they were all killed. Oh, they went down fighting. Haaaaaard. But sadly they went down. So that meant that a 17 year old Loke was left all alone to raise his 3 year old baby brother.

No, it wasn't easy. That first year Loke was just heavily depressed, barely ate, barely slept and barely left the house. He was just in a numb state where he felt he couldn't breathe. It wasn't until one morning a few weeks after their parents died that Loke heard little whimpers outside of the house so when he went to investigate Jelani had been playing outside, fell and scrapped his knee and was crying. The image of his baby brother sitting on the ground with a bloody knee and crying just freaked him the fuck out and he realized he had to take care of his brother so he shaped up and basically took to the role.

Everything his parents taught him he taught to Jelani and then some. From that day forward it was like a military school. On top of what Loke taught him Jelani also found that hacking came almost naturally to him and he was a prodigy with a sniper. By 8 he was training with the .50 cals. Unlike Loke Jelani had some free time to also just be a kid. There were several kids in Megaton that he played with but he was really fond of three girls he got along with: Latoya, her girlfriend Jade, and Madison. To say the 4 of them constantly got into trouble was an understatement.

Overall they did a pretty good job at surviving on their own and to be perfectly honest Loke is an amazing father figure but he was always afraid of losing Jelani so he was kind of a "helicopter dad" which greatly annoyed Jelani.

Honestly Jelani doesn't have any memories of his parents. What he knows he got from Loke's stories and anecdotes. So he kind of doesn't understand his need to constantly be looking over Jelani's shoulder to see if he's okay. What 8 year old does?

So some time goes by and Jelani is now 12 and Loke decided they could do with a change of scenery. They pack their things as well as their dad's helmet and their mom's sniper and leave Washington and head West.

This took a while. Mostly because both siblings got hit with a severe case of wanderlust and just felt at home wandering from place to place and exploring old ruins. If the weather was fair they had no problems sleeping under the star lit skies of the wasteland while munching on gumdrops and drinking Nuka Cola. It was honestly really nice.

Then when Jelani was 14 and Loke was 28 they just so happened to walk into New Vegas specifically Primm with its weird little robot sheriff and surprisingly a group of NCR soldiers camped near the town.

From there they wander a bit and gather intel on the area as a whole. Loke isn't too keen on settling there but sheltered, bright-eyed and rebellious 14 year old Jelani is enamored with the place. Tbh Loke would've preferred to look for somewhere else but he liked that Jelani liked the place so he came upon an abandoned place in Freeside, fixed it up and they stayed there. Now, Sanaa and Ingvarr left them a lot of caps. Like, almost a ridiculous amount which they barely touched cuz both of them were self-sustainable. Loke saw there was a high demand for mercenaries...mostly because many of them outright died on the job...so he dug into their savings, upgraded their stash of weapons, got more ammo, got some really good armor which he modified and soon both of 'em were constantly sought out for all kinds of jobs but in particular very discreet hits and assault and battery.

Loke always took Jelani with him because he knew Jelani would insist. Plus it wouldn't hurt to let him earn his own way too. Loke will always take care of him until the day he dies but it was a good idea to teach 'im other ways to sustain himself and to keep his skills sharp. Pluuuuuus it would help in keeping his little ass out of trouble cuz honestly teen Jelani in this setting is a handful to say the least.

At 15 Jelani was always getting into trouble. The only person this fucking kid ever listens to and obeys is Loke. He's the only one that can put the fear of god into this kid. With everyone else Jelani is kind of difficult to assess...if they're like minded they'll get along famously. An example would be AJ (Alejandro Javier) from the Khans. Sure at first it was because they were fucking (side note: they both lost their virginities to each other) but then Jelani discovered chems through AJ. AJ would sell 'em to him at a discount but he knew Loke would kill him if he knew he was doing chems so it was only ever done when away from Loke. The only thing Jelani did in front of Loke was drink and even then he had to restrain himself because Loke wouldn't let him drink too much...even tho Loke could easily drink a whole bottle of whiskey like it was water and the son of a bitch can easily keep going...

As for Loke he is very well aware that he has/had a drinking problem. Losing both parents at such a young age really affected him and not only did he lose his parents he basically became a father to his 3 year old brother. So on top of the depression he was overwhelmed by the pressure to take care of his brother. He didn't really have time to properly mourn which led to late nights drinking himself into a blackout after putting Jelani to sleep to just forget about life in general. This later escalated to cutting himself up, mostly areas that Jelani wouldn't be able to see. Those 2 years they spent travelling were really healing for both of them but Loke still had his demons.

Coming to New Vegas and dealing with a teenager and the challenges it meant made him take up drinking and cutting again. It was mostly frustration and fear of fucking up. Having said all of that Loke never once raised his hand at Jelani, never disrespected him, was never abusive in any way or even blamed him for anything. Despite his fears and frustrations and whatever else was affecting him he still loves his brother more than anything else in the world and he constantly made sure that Jelani knew he was loved and always showered him in affection. He may not be perfect but damn it the man is trying his best.

Jelani was super patient though but he was snippy and condescending about it. Tbh he didn't really understand it because while Jelani's aware he lost his parents he was only 3 when it happened and he barely has any memories of them. Loke on the other hand has clearer and better memories of them. He still clearly remembers the day Simms informed him of his parents' deaths.

Some months before his 16th birthday Jelani got sick. Like, really fucking sick. Like, a fever of 106 with a massive headache, stiff neck, constant vomiting, and uncontrollable shakes and shivers. Loke knows some basics but he's not a trained medic (unlike his original version. Actually don't remember if I mentioned this but Loke and Sanaa spent a few years in med school. Sanaa is actually a doctor and Loke chose to pass the exams but would rather stick to being a nurse. If and when they retire from Oracle they can fall back on that. In the mean time they're more than happy tending to wounds in the ao). He knew about the Followers of the Apocalypse so he took his brother over to them. Took a while but they managed to lower his temperature. I'm not sure about illnesses in the Fallout universe per say so I'm choosing to keep it vague. Jelani did recover from the infection but that meant that Loke "hi i'm so overprotective i'm basically a helicopter dad" Haakonson was constantly checking Jela's temperature and symptoms. This led to a few fights, like, understandable no one wants their temperature taken every morning and night, or checking in with how they feel constantly but whether he ever wants to admit it or not Loke was going through a crisis. He already lost his parents, he sure as fuck did NOT wanna lose the only person he had left in the world. Just the mere thought of losing his brother was traumatizing enough.

At 17 Jelani was tasked with escorting a kid to Goodsprings. Usually Loke would never let Jelani take a job on his own but 1. It was a simple escort of a 10 year old kid who was kidnapped by slavers. Some people raided and killed the slavers in their little hideout and freed the victims. One of them was a little girl who was kidnapped from Goodsprings so one of the people from the raid looked for Loke but he'd already agreed to do a job. An admittedly far more dangerous one but one that paid really well. Loke had made up his mind to not take Jelani with him on that specific job so instead of turning down the escort job he said his brother could do it. That wasn't a problem as the Haakonson brothers had garnered a bit of a high reputation amongst the rest of the population.

Eventually Loke calmed down and everything went back to normal. But from the day the FotA helped him and his brother Loke always made time to help them out or donate items or caps.

This was also around the time Loke met Uthroim and honestly it was kinda love at first sight for him. *cue the most adorable and steamiest side of Loke you can muster and that's how it goes down*

Job went off without any problems at all. Jela found the kid to be adorable and they mostly just chatted along the way while he shared his gumdrops with her.

***whenever I play Jelani in any Fallout I always keep 1 gumdrop pack in his inventory. Dorky, I know, but the immersion just calls for it lol.

He was gonna head back to Freeside but he saw there was a bar and he was by himself so that meant he could drink to his heart's content without Loke being there to limit his drinks. So he went into the bar. Bar was full but he noticed 3 people at the bar that caught his attention. 3 NCR veteran rangers decked out in their black armors and their helmets neatly placed on the bar in front of them. Jelani suddenly remembered that his dad used to be one but he wasn't sure of what unit or even where the unit was stationed. He sat at the other end of the bar and ordered a bunch of drinks.

As the hours went by he did notice that one of the rangers just kept staring at him. It was an older white woman around her mid to late 60s. It got to the point where Jelani was getting both irritated and uncomfortable so being the smartass little shit that he is he asked her what the fuck was her problem.

The woman got up and sat close to him to get a better look at him. Now, Jelani has several features that you could sorta, kinda say are unique. For a 17 year old he was TALL, like taaaaaaaaaaall. This kid was already 6'4" and he was still growing. He has really long, raven jet black straight but thick hair down to the middle of his back, very rich and dark skin and a particular set of eyes. They're a very pale blue, so pale you could mistake them for white/gray in certain lights. That is what the white woman was focusing on. She directly told Jelani he looked very familiar and asked if his father was in the NCR. He said he used to be and left it at that. She continued to press him though and was getting noticeably agitated. Even her friends were trying to get her to back off but she wouldn't budge.

She outright asked Jelani if his father was named Ingvarr Haakonson and seeing her state he denied it. She asked what his surname was but Jelani paid for his drinks and left knowing that the situation was not ideal and knew he was a bit of a hothead so best thing to do was leave. As he reached for the door the woman yelled out a word in a language he recognized and was fluent in. Her pronunciation was very off but he understood it. He didn't know what it was called but his father taught Loke the language and Loke taught it to him. Both could speak, read and write in both English and that other language. He froze for a minute but decided to leave.

It was late at night but he just wanted to get home and sleep off the buzz. On his way out of Goodsprings he noticed what looked like a dead animal on the side of the road and as he passed by it he saw it was a really small nightstalker. The closer he got he could hear small whimpers coming off the animal. He didn't see any blood on or near it but he noticed its eyes were sunken, the scaly face was dry and flaky, the eye caps were cracked and its saliva was very thick. It was dehydrated so feeling sorry for it and being a massive animal lover Jelani propped up its head carefully and little by little gave it water. He was in no hurry so he sat next to it and kept giving it water until he fell asleep. In the morning he woke up to the nightstalker curled up on his lap. It looked far better than it did the night before. As he got up he woke the nightstalker up who perked up its ears and frantically wagged its tail at him. He gave it more water and some food he had on him and left but noticed the snake coyote dog was following him. Unsure of what to do he gently shooed it away but it kept following him. It followed him all the way home and he'd gotten attached to it already so when Loke came home he asked if he could keep her. Loke was hesitant at first...mostly because it looks weird...he offered to get him a regular dog but Jelani was already attached to her and had already named her Dagny. He agreed but only if Jelani promised to train her and take good care of her. He did and since day one he and the weird little snake coyote dog thing named Dagny were inseparable.

Life continued and neither of them had much to complain about. Hidden within Freeside's outskirts is a bar (not sure what to name it) that was full of queer people though the majority were men. Nowhere in New Vegas were they denied entry or anything but that was like their own hangout. Friday and Saturday nights drag queens would take center stage. No one really knew who the owner was but the bartender was a man named Trevor. Naturally both Loke and Jelani frequented that specific bar a lot and Jelani being an absolute gay as fuck whore constantly flirted with Trevor and that naturally led to them fucking. Totally without Loke knowing cuz he woulda put a stop to a 17 year old trying shit with an adult. Basically Jelani lied and said he was older and ended up getting together with Trevor for a while. Through this he discovered 2 things: he definitely IS a bottom and he likes violent sex.

That's one of the biggest differences between Loke and Jelani. Jelani is dominating, really aggressive borderlining on violent and likes to take charge (power bottom). Loke is super submissive, loves to be completely dominated and he'll switch but prefers to bottom. Jela will fuck any guy he's attracted to while Lo is more reserved.

The woman that Jelani had that hostile interaction with back at the bar in Goodsprings bumped into Jelani and Loke in The Strip and this time she started talking all sorts of nonsense about Ingvarr. Obviously it upset the boys but more so Loke. For once Jelani showed some self control and tried to get Loke to calm down and go with him but the woman, Iain, started to come after them as they walked away but eventually she caught up to them and threw Loke to the ground and started to kick him hard. Jelani tackled her and started beating on her. Some NCR troops and securitons rushed over to stop the fight but Loke got Jelani away. As she was being escorted out she kept cursing them and their father out. She also quickly reached for her gun and aimed it at Loke but as she pulled the trigger Jelani pushed him out of the way and caught the bullet in the side and actually ruptured the right kidney.

A whole mess followed. Having been near the NCR outpost Jela was quickly taken in and stabilized while Iain was locked up.

Iain's entire beef with the Haakonsons was that the day Ingvarr went awol the unit he was in was ambushed and Iain was the only survivor. She got it into her head that if he'd been there they would've survived. Whether that's true or not no one really knows. Maybe one extra soldier coulda made the difference or maybe not but in Iain's head it would have and since that day she held a grudge. Ingvarr wasn't there but his sons were and to her it was fair.

Jelani survived though he was one kidney short and Loke made him swear he'd never do anything like that ever again. He'd rather die than see any harm come to Jelani. After Jelani was okay and moving on his own again Loke went to the NCR and basically demanded they serve Iain's head on a platter. In short, all she got was a slap on the wrist which obviously didn't sit right with Loke and after making a few demands he was told that what happened was unfortunate but if Jelani hadn't attacked her she wouldn't have felt the need to defend herself. Basically blaming Jelani for getting shot. On top of that they let Loke know that they knew who they were and that the Haakonson legacy was tainted the day Ingvarr went awol and that a decorated soldier like Iain was more important than a deserter.

To say that man was furious when he left that office was an understatement.

From that day Loke started to plan to leave New Vegas and Jelani agreed. There was too much NCR presence everywhere and they both knew that if they stayed there would be more encounters like the one at The Strip and it could end badly for both of them. They avoided The Strip and any NCR infested settlements but kept going about their lives.

However, they were both bitter about Iain and wanted nothing more than payback. The opportunity did arise when they were just finishing up a hit on a specific viper gang member and were returning home. Iain and two other veteran rangers ambushed them a few miles East of Nipton. Fight broke out but despite the odds Loke and Jelani overpowered Iain and her friends. They managed to kill the two rangers and brought Iain down. Killing her seemed too fast so they broke both of her legs and both arms and left her in the middle of nowhere to die from either critters in the area, ferals, raiders or the elements. But not before Jelani took her armor as a price and called it even.

Both brothers were aware they couldn't stay in New Vegas as given their known history with Iain the NCR would seek them out so they rushed home, packed their essentials, and left.

On their way out of New Vegas AJ accompanied them and through him they learned the NCR put out a shoot to kill order on both of them so they left just in time. AJ stayed because he didn't wanna leave his family behind but he wanted to make sure the boys got out safely and to say goodbye.

So Loke, Jelani and Dagny left New Vegas. Several miles outside of New Vegas they bumped into a caravan of families also moving out of New Vegas being protected by some shady mercs but the caravan offered them a place with them so they would trek on their own as more numbers meant it was safer. Loke and Jelani agreed and soon they were off.

*** A lot happened during this trip but it bleeds into Boston and I feel like this will be better as a different post cuz it's really packed with a lot of details. So I'll be making that post later.

If you read this far into this monster of a post I love you and you officially own my soul.

[daintyduck99]

Oooh kiss prompts! Kissing as a dare for Sweet Tarts please!

If looks could kill, they'd be dead as dogs.

It's all coming from the girl, too. At a glance, she's just another primadonna soc girl, but she holds herself in a way that promises there's a bite behind her bark.

She's—interesting.

Her eyes keep cutting between Reggie, Luke, and Willie, sharp as knives. She won't take any licorice from Willie, lips pursed in disapproval as her—friend? brother? It's hard to tell, they're both gleaming and blond and have that whole haughty, snobbish soc thing going on.

But he takes the candy from Willie like a shy horse hoping for sugar, shedding more of his haughty armor, blue eyes bright as their fingers curl together for far longer than necessary and Willie laughs low in his throat, easily answering his truth question.

Willie's not fucking with him, either. He tells him about how he ran away from his creepy foster dad and his club.

The girl—Cherry, maybe? She'd snarled their names so quickly, but it would suit her. Her mouth is a blood red gash, and it only twists more severely as she scoffs.

She doesn't speak, stayed by a pleading glance from the boy, but her eyes flash to Reggie’s, snaring him, still with her damn lip curled. He rips his gaze away, fiddling with his candy as his heart hammers.

She could wound him with that mouth, he's sure of it.

So why are they sitting here playing this stupid game, giving a couple of golden soc siblings a ton of ammunition?

Reggie ought to have more faith in Willie, probably. He's gotten them out of more scrapes than Luke can get them into, and Willie could charm the pants off of damn near anyone, including the blonde girl's brother. Unlike her, he's unsprawled more and more ever since Willie aimed that first easy smile at him and shook out his hair.

Hell, that's why they're sitting here with their asses parked to the lip of the fountain, sharing candy and playing this dumb game instead of trying to knock one another into the freezing water.

Or worse.

Luke rips off a bite of licorice. He savors the stuff now since Julie hates it when he smokes, but she loves the black licorice they sell at the counter of her mother's diner. It stains his obnoxious grin an inky black, and he aims it right at Reggie.

Which, honestly, is probably for the best.

"Alright, Reg. Truth or dare?"

He hastily swallows his licorice.

"Isn't it Willie's turn to ask?"

"He asked me." Luke's grin grows in a way that can only mean trouble. "Don't tell me you didn't notice when I took my shirt off. I was all slow and sensual about it for you and everything. Where's your head been? Have you replaced me, baby?"

"Oh—" Reggie shoves at Luke's —yes, his bare arm. Reggie's face is aflame. "Fuck off, or I'll tell Julie that you were messing with my heart and she'll kick your ass."

Luke shrugs. His eyes dance with mischief as he takes another bite of licorice.

"Who doesn't want a woman who could kick their ass?"

Reggie scowls. "Nice try, but I never picked truth. I'll go with dare."

Luke must've decided that he's needled Reggie enough, because he gives him a pretty tame dare. That doesn't mean that anyone else is safe, though, and when the game makes it back to Luke, he picks her.

Carrie, she says. C-A-R-R-I-E. Not Cherry.

Luke bares his teeth in an unabashedly filthy, cheeky licorice grin, and says—

"You think you're too good for our candy? I dare you to kiss Reggie. He's the sweetest thing around, and you'll change your tune soon enough. If not, you'll at least be putting your money where your mouth is."

What. The fuck. What's he doing?!

Reggie grips the edge of the fountain.

Sure, she's beautiful, and fiery, and maybe there was some truth to what Luke had said about women who can kick your ass and maybe he can't stop staring at her prim-petal-thorn-pricked mouth—

"It sounds like you want to kiss him," Carrie shoots back, tossing her golden curls dismissively. She ought to be cold in that dress, but the fury that tinges the tops of her ears red must be keeping her warm. "I'd rather kiss a dog. It'd be cleaner."

Luke tsks, shaking his head.

He's very good at pissing people off. She bristles even more as he continues.

"For the record, I already have. He'd probably ruin you on all of those boring, proper prince charming types with their chaste little post-date pecks. But if you're scared and you want to keep living in your drab little cookie-cutter world—"

She growls, springing up and striding over to Reggie with all the grace of a lioness.

She fists the front of his shirt and hauls him free of the fountain and right into a kiss. Their mouths meld with scorching intensity, harsh and deep and she's definitely getting lipstick all over his face.

Fuck, but it's good. He can't help but melt into it, clutching her waist, and she makes a needy noise low in her throat, snaring his bottom lip between her teeth. He buries an equally embarrassing sound in her mouth, and when she releases him, chest heaving, wild-eyed and face smeared like a starving thing, he dives back in to kiss her again. She claws at his back and runs her tongue over his teeth and he'd let her wound him a dozen times over.

A low whistle reminds them that they have an audience, and when they whirl on their friends, they're all watching them with similarly amused expressions.

The golden boy—Alex—starts to speak, but he doesn't get any further than "okay" before Carrie growls again.

"Oh, shut up! Yes, you were right. At least I've actually kissed the greaseball I like."

Willie swoops in before Alex can curl in on himself, offering to fix that, and Luke looks like the cat that got the canary, smirking at everyone as he munches on his last piece of licorice. Reggie clears his throat, turning back to Carrie.

"I don't put just anything in my hair, you know. I splurge for the good shit. And I love to shower, along with the occasional bath. Most greasers aren't actually, like—greasy. I'm not a burger."

Her lips twitch with the hint of a smile. She still looks disheveled, and he aches to kiss her again, to press her into the backseat of his car before it finally gives up the ghost, to mess her up more. She gives him a real smile, then, one with a glimmer of teeth, as if she knows. They're also stained with lipstick, and it's sort of driving him crazy.

"I could go for a burger. Maybe a milkshake. I'm in the mood for something sweet, after all."

As it turns out, her death glare is great for killing any judgemental stares, though she does level Reggie with the latter when he stirs their milkshake with some licorice.

She still keeps kissing him, though.

[invinciblerodent]

7, 10 and 21 for Raymond and the Inquisitor Ask Game!

oh look!!!! an excuse to talk about my perfect beautiful sword child!!!

my lumpy garbage stinkboy.

my sweet cheese, my good time boy, my most beloved, long-suffering punching bag of a man.

thank you for this gift, have some wordvomit. <3

7. Who was your Inquisitor's first friend in the Inquisition?

For first friend, I'd probably say Bull (he's an easy guy to make superficial friends with, creating a lasting bond is slower though), but if we're talking about genuine, actual Friendship, it's absolutely Sera. Despite his noble blood, they just... get along like a house on fire.

Initially there is of course apprehension between them (Sera clearly and understandably doesn't trust him, with him being nobility, and is made nervous by his support of the rebel mages), but with their personalities meshing as well as they do and him both "yes, and"-ing her and not thinking of her as stupid, they're absolutely the best of friends for most of the game.

They just operate on similar wavelengths: Ray is naturally a very gregarious and compassionate person, she allows him space to be silly just as he offers her reassurance and understanding, and they are also very close in age (I think he's maybe like three years or so older than her), so I think it's natural for them to gravitate towards each other.

Plus, like, I love gay-lesbian solidarity. There were probably at least a few evenings when Ray just laid down in Sera's alcove, and she had to listen to him pine and sigh over Dorian until she would have ran out of patience and beat him with a pillow.

10. What does your Inquisitor do with their free time? Do they have any hobbies?

This is actually something I was just gonna write a post about!

One thing I have been thinking about is that, before the loss of his arm... pretty much everything he does and enjoys is very physical. Fighting/sparring, jousting, horseback-riding, dancing, sex, pretty much everything he likes to do includes moving his body in particular and coordinated ways, and more often than not, the efficient use of both his arms. He bonds with people through physical activity a lot, and he's also a very tactile person, with physical touch being very important to him.

So this question will have a very different answer, depending on when he's asked.

I think after Trespasser, when he has to re-learn how to do most things (he was left-handed) and re-adjust to his body, this is one of the things that keep him from moving on from the loss for a long time.

After, I think he'd kind of return to the more sedentary hobbies he had as a kid, before he would have started to train with the Chevalier who was hired to teach him. He'd read (he loves adventure stories), play card games... maybe pick up hiking just for fun, much to Dorian's dismay.

I mean, he's gonna do it. Of course he'll come along. But not without grumbling.

(I can almost hear it. "You couldn't have picked painting or something instead? May I suggest crossword puzzles?? Sudoku?? maybe even gardening, if it's the dirt and much and filth that you miss???? Really amatus, the list is endless, we have hiked across all of southern Thedas, how is it possible that you still yearn for the bloody wilderness--- yes, fine, I'm almost done, just let me put my boots on.)

21. What pet would your Inquisitor have? What would they name it?

I have played with the thought of him having a dog before, and I still quite like that thought (kind of an emotional support dog would do him a lot of good), but I think canonically, I wanna do away with that, and say that he kept his horse from his Inquisitor days- Judex, the Imperial Warmblood.

At first it was partly a joke (hehe, geddit, he's riding the Tevinter but it's a horse this time) and something that just fit his whole "princely" image/vibe as the Andrastian Knight in Shining Armor on a White Horse, but I quickly grew very attached to the idea of him just... not being able to treat a warhorse not like a pet.

So I always liked to imagine that he would start carrying a little pouch with lumps of sugar in his pack (one for the horse, one for Sera, one for himself), grow really attached to Judex, and elect to keep him as an actual pet afterwards.

In Kirkwall he's taken care of by a stable, but after moving to Minrathous (which is a hassle but it's gonna happen), he'll slowly start taking Judex out for rides again.

The name comes from the Tevene name for the constellation of the Sword of Mercy: it's meant partly to play up the "Herald of Andraste" angle, and partly to pay homage to the horse's lineage. He was thinking of the old interpretation of symbolizing justice when he chose it, but it can be understood as meaning to communicate a Templar-friendly image, even despite the Inquisition's alliance with the rebel mages.

(Plus, I kind of love that it's possible for Judex to still be very much alive during the events of Veilguard, and aging roughly along with his owner. They were both young and somewhat intense in Inquisition, now they're both laid back adults, lol.)

[little-cereal-draws]

Mr. Einstein Has a Gun

Commander Rox sipped his coffee as he got out of his shiny black car. The parking lot of the aquarium was crawling with officers running to and fro; the lesser ranked ones were setting up barricades and commanding frightened families to stand back while the more experienced ones were clustered around large armored trucks, listening to equipment. Commander Rox confidently strode through the chaos; this was his playground. 

“Any progress?” he asked, stepping up to one of the vans. 

“Not yet, sir,” one of the officers responded. Her hair was pulled into a brown bun. 

“Hostages?” He handed his empty cup to one of the newbies. They scurried off to go throw it away.

“Seventeen, from what we can gather.”

“Hm. Any trouble yet?” 

“Not yet, sir. All the civilians have been safely evacuated. We’re pretty sure all the hostages are staff.”

Rox looked at the case brief he had been given when he was first alerted of the situation. “That would make sense given their proximity to the tanks. Do we have a line inside?”

“Yes, sir, we do. We have yet to actually speak to our perp, though. One of the staff members is acting as his ambassador.”

“Great. Patch me in.” Rox took a pair of black headphones from the back of the van and carefully put them on, careful not to bend the wire frames of his dark aviators. 

There was an anticipatory moment as the line rang. He had been doing hostage negotiations for almost thirty years and still the moment before the line was live tingled with anticipation. When he was younger, he would get the horrible thought that the perp killed all the hostages before picking up and everyone would blame him. Now, he knew that if that happened, his men would storm in and kill anyone who dared go against them. It was easier to stamp down the fear. 

The line clicked alive and a timid voice said, “Hello?”

“Hello,” he said smoothly, his fleeting fears forgotten, “this is Commander Rox with the NYPD. Who am I speaking with?”

“Um, Doctor Kelly Bluebond,” the voice responded.

“Excellent. Nice to meet you, Doctor. I apologize for the brief introduction of myself but I really must know if…” he checked the brief, “if Mr. Einstein is there.”

“Um, he is,” Kelly whispered.

“Alright. Don’t be afraid, Doctor, we’re going to get you out. Is anyone hurt?”

“No.”

“Fantastic. Can you ask Mr. Einstein if he has any demands?”

“Uh, he does. I was telling the other officer earlier, he wants oysters. But we can’t do that right now because they’re currently almost extinct from New York Harbor and the Oyster Project is trying to reintroduce them so we need to save them and we could get them imported but then they come frozen and he doesn’t like that and–”

“Excuse me, Doctor, but you said oysters? As in the food?” Rox raised an eyebrow. He had heard many insane requests in his day –private jets, millions in cash, full pardons– but this was a first.

“Yeah. And a $300 puzzle game he saw one of the keepers looking at on Amazon but we just don’t have the budget for that,” Kelly cried. 

“I– I’m sorry, a puzzle game?” Rox rubbed his temples. “We can get you a puzzle game. Wait– I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused. Your colleague, Mr. Einstein, is keeping you captive in return for oysters and a puzzle game?”

“Yes. And he can get very, very angry.” The sounds of Kelly crying came through Rox’s headphones.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Rox soothed. “You’re going to be OK. My men are the best goddamn men in New York. We’ll get you all out of there.”

“Thank you, thank you,” she whimpered. 

“Does Mr. Einstein have a history of being angry and violent when he doesn’t get what he wants?”

“Oh, yes, he bit me once while I was cleaning. He doesn’t like people touching his things.”

“He bit you? I… I’m so sorry to hear that. You should’ve filed a complaint with the police and we could’ve gotten him behind bars for assault years ago and avoided this whole situation. But I digress. None of that matters because we’re here now. I would like to speak with Mr. Einstein myself if that’s OK.”

Kelly sniffed. “You’re not going to get much out of him.”

“Don’t worry, I can break even the most hardened of criminals,” Rox said proudly. 

He felt a tap at his elbow and looked over to see the brown haired officer from before. Covering the mic on her headphones, she whispered, “Sir, Mr. Einstein is an octopus.”

Rox jumped back in surprise. “What?! Wait– what? Our perp –our seventeen hostage perp– is a fucking octopus?!” 

“I know, sir, it’s terrible,” the officer said, nodding gravely. “The NYPD has never dealt with anything like this before.”

Rox sputtered. “Wha– How– How the hell does an octopus even get seventeen hostages?!”

“Um, we informed you of the situation in your brief, sir.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He flipped the manilla folder open to read the brief again. “You said Mr. Einstein –of course his name is fucking Mr. Einstein, that makes sense now– was, and I quote, ‘armed and highly dangerous.’ How the hell is an octopus armed and dangerous?!”

“Well, he has eight arms, sir.”

Commander Rox rolled his eyes.

The officer nervously continued, “Apparently he somehow got out of his tank and found… a gun. We’re not sure how yet, firearms aren’t allowed in the aquarium but admittedly there is no security enforcing that besides a sign on the wall. But somehow Mr. Einstein got a gun and immediately started pointing it at the staff. At first, they figured he thought it was a new toy but when he fired a warning shot into the air, they knew he meant business. One of them called the police before they were rounded up and we evacuated everyone.”

“My god. An octopus can’t operate a firearm!” Rox shouted. He turned back to his mic. “This is highly illegal, calling in a fake active shooter threat like this, Doctor!”

“Octopi are actually highly intelligent,” Kelly said. “I am not surprised at all that he figured out how they work so quickly. He’s gotten out of his tank before and we thought we could just put him back this time like we did before but then he pulled out a gun! He’s not supposed to have a gun!”

Rox wiped a hand down his face. “OK, OK. I’m going to put an end to this once and for all. I’m going in.”

He tore the headphones off and stomped towards the aquarium. 

“Wait!” the brown haired officer called after him. “It’s not safe to go alone! Bring a team! This is a gun!”

Rox turned around to face her. Sarcastically, he yelled, “There’s only one thing to do now, isn’t there? If Mr. Einstein the octopus has a fucking gun, so will I!”

He pulled his gun out of its holster and marched in.

[teeto-peteto]

“Allow characters to have more than one emotion?” Oh no, Riot can’t do that, otherwise players will complain about why the characters talk so much.” (All of this is sarcasm, in case it wasn’t clear.) I swear, sometimes it feels like people want voice lines to go back to minute long carousel rides.

…Anyway. Vent over.

vent is not over

This is a perfect statement. Unless you're talking about Mordekaiser.

Anyone remembers when Project: Mordekaiser dropped and everyone started loosing their shit and claimed THIS was the best legendary skin in the game? How easy everyone threw down the river Dark Cosmic Jhin.

But they give a GIRL champion ONE more range of emotion and they fucking loose their shit. Male champions get full armored rad skins and everyone claps and make fan edits with the quotes and female champions get their splashart upside down and a reddit post saying 'Ok guys do you think they made her boobs bigger or nah?'.

Literally Ashe gets pushed away for speaking and in the meantime Viego is literally speaking his whole life and everyone goes like 'Wow... this slaps for an instagram reel with his quotes and stolen fanart'.

Riot does not want to put effort. Even now they are cutting down minutes of legendary and definitive skins voice lines to 8 minutes cause well they want the money money but they dont want to pay pay actors.

Riot constantly gives the 'thicc tiddy' skins to female champions. If they do to male champions, its because in their canon model they are shirtless/wearing revealing clothes etc (for example, Rakan or Sylas). Coven constantly gives this skins to female champions and then give a cool monster/spirit to male champions. Yes, covens are always composed of women, as star guardians are based on the magical girl trope and we still have Ezreal and Ekko there. Do we actually NEED to be 'historically correct' about coven?! Motherfuckers put girls in ridiculous clothing to call them witchy and then try to be historically correct. And they give the guys the cool skins. For what?! Cant we have an Old god Bel'Veth? Cant we have any female champion actually turn into monstruous eldritch horror? If they want to be so calculative and respectful to 'feminist part of history' then do this?

3. The community sucks and its mostly formed by dick-in-hand men. They see titty on a girl they go ooga booga. If the champion speaks and doesnt say anything cool rad about darkness and killing and slavering people then they loose interest and cry. 'Shut up woman i dont care'. In the end we will turn back to the 1 minute carousel lines cause nobody gives a flying fuck about what characters say. The amount of videos/shorts/reels i have seen recently about champion quotes theres not even ONE said by a woman champion. They always quote something corny about Sett being strong whatever. They always quote Viego in a romantic way, as if provoking mass genocide with the excuse of 'love' wasnt a red flag enough. They quote Mordekaiser (literally a torturer and an slaver, yeah...). But hey, i guess they are easy to harvest so Riot will keep producing for them.

ranted more than i expected but well :^)

small note: i do not care about anyones favourite character. You like Mordekaiser? Awesome. You like Viego? Go my dear, you can fix him i believe in you. You like Ashe? Thats so cool. I do not shame anyone's character/fictional other/kin at all. Everything i say just applies to heteronormative male that presents a huge percentage of lol players and active twitter users that bombards Riot.

[beeindaclouds]

I have another request! Could u do hcs dsmp babysitting child!reader? Maybe a lil scenario?

Welcome back to my inbox haha

Yes, I had this idea for a while but I didn't know if anybody would have read it so thank you for the request <3

I'll probably make another version where the DSMP are kids too 👀

DSMP babysitting Child!Reader pt. 1

Includes: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Wilbur Soot, C!Philza, C!Technoblade, Nihachu, Eret, Punz, FoolishGamers

A.N: I don't really need to say this but, just in case some sickos get the wrong idea, this is strictly PLATONIC.

Request are OPEN

❝ Dream ❞

He has younger siblings, so he for sure knows what to do with children

Absolutely loves to pick you up and like throw you in the air while you giggle away

He cannot say no to you. Even if he is streaming or editing, if you come running to him and pull on his leg to get his attention so you can play his answer is 9/10 times "yes"

That 1/10 times is when he is almost done and just wants to quickly get it over with. But he'll keep you on his lap while he's finishing things up

Spoils you. A lot. Even after your parents told him that he didn't need to, he gave you gifts anyway

Yall know that tik tok audio "can I touch your kitties?", yeah that happened when youw wanted to pat Patches

❝ Georgenotfound ❞

This could go two ways. He is either good at it or freezes and doesn't know what to do.

He's good, not great, with kids. It's when they start going crazy or cry that he does not know what to do

If he is babysitting you at his house you love to run around and paly with his things

Definitely stole his glasses once, he took a picture and sent it to your parents

He, after asking your parents permission of course, brought you on stream with him after you begged him many many times

You two did a cooking stream, need I say more?

It turned more into a "food fight" then a cooking stream

You did end up tiring yourself to the point where you fell asleep in George's arms, chat went crazy

Also you like to talk to the Dream guy on George's phone

❝ Sapnap ❞

If I'm not wrong he has younger siblings, so again, knows what he's doing

Doesn't mean that he's perfect at it tho

He mostly entertains you with videogames

Your parents had to warn him many times about not leaving you on the computer for to long

I feel like his cheeks are quite squishy, so you constantly pull and play witht them, he has no choice but to surrender

You.two.make.pillow.forts.

He definitely roleplays with you. Sometimes you're the knight in shining armor who has to save teddy (your plushie) from the evil grasps of Lord Sapnap

The roles and scenarios change based on what you two felt like that day

He brought you on a call with Quackity and Karl once, where you asked if they were the boy friends he always talked about

The three of them understood it as boyfriends not boy friends and all had a laugh

But they made you believe that they were all dating, they would do that, I don't take no as an answer

❝ Badboyhalo ❞

I feel like childrens like him

His voice just seems so child friendly

He'd be awkward with childrens at first but then does a whole 360 and becomes the best babysitter ever

You live the life of luxury with this man. You two watch cartoons togheter, you play some games, he cooks you deserts, he has a puppy, what more could a kid want?

He's definitely the type to cook deserts with vegetables in them to trick you into eating healthy

You love to play with Rat and he will sometimes supervise you, just to make sure you're not being too rough with her

Reads you bedtime stories and his soothing voice will put you to sleep in no time

He's also very good at comforting you

Wouldn't bring you on stream but he presented you to Skeppy when they were both video calling

Skeppy kept on telling you that he and Bad were dating and you weren't having none of it

Bad had a blast as you and Skeppy were "arguing" about who would marry Bad in the future

❝ Skeppy ❞

He's the cool babysitters

Even tho he barely has experience

Yes, he as a sister, but that does not mean he's good with kids

But he somehow still manages

When I say cool babysitter, I mean let's you stay up late to watch TV, let's you eat junk food, you know the opposite of what your parents told him but, they don't need to know right?

He makes you play Minecraft for a video

100% lets you help him prank Bad by acting like you were Skeppy's adopted child

Bad got so confused

Also takes pictures of you in his merch, even if they are way to big on you

Shares them on twitter, with permission of course

You like to stay on his back because it makes you feel tall and Skeppy enjoys hearing your joyful glee's

❝ Quackity ❞

The only reason why he'd actually be great with kids is becuse he can sometimes act like one /pos

He has to keep you away from his cat, you never know when it might scratch you

Will watch Cocomelon with you and you can't say otherwise.

Sometimes will play you songs, or let you sing as he plays the guitar, so that you can later show your parents what you learned

After asking permission he brought you on one of his streams, you both played some games on GirlsGoGames and "ew"ed at the disgusting ones

He also let's you play Minecraft with his character while he's on a videocall with whoever was online

I imagine Tommy being online and you three just cause so much chaos

Quackity teaches you how to attack Tommy, while the british boy is just trying to stay alive cause you're doing a lot of damage

You have many times tried to take of his beanie and have succeeded once, when he gave you permission to take it off

❝ Karl Jacobs ❞

Starts off awkward, he doesn't know what to do, what you like, ect.

But after you both warm up to eachother everything goes smoothly

He loves to watch with you old cartoons that he watched as a kid

You like to ask questions about certain characters and things that are happening in the episode and he is very happy to answer you

He's a cuddler, so he'll keep you safe and warm whenever he can

It's probably that one babysitter you get a crush on but they're too old for you

He once brought you on a MrBeast set

You hid behind Karl most of the time but later got comfortable and ran around like you were high on sugar lol

You, Karl and Chris had a blast togheter

You fell asleep after the long day and Karl made sure to be super gentle and quiet while taking you back home

Part Two

A.N: I'm making this into two parts because I felt like it lol

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Poseidon

Fishy fishy fishy… I honestly could write 100 more things for Poseidon MC and Levi. I just love the dynamic between an insecure, otaku shut-in and a chill California surfer dead set on becoming his friend.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon 

For anyone unaware, Poseidon is also the god of horses. I know it's a weird combo, but I didn't write the mythos.

Lucifer

…..

They came out of the portal….

On a horse….

They brought the mortal down to the Devildom…

On a goddamn horse….

There's a demigod on a live horse brandishing a weapon and doing laps around the Student Council Room…

Congratulations, he already wants to pull his hair out!!

Honestly, it would have been preferable to pluck them out of the sea. At least then they'd just need a towel! What the hell were they going to do with an entire horse!?

And his nightmare didn't stop there. Poseidon is a notoriously mercurial god, prone to bouts of anger and spitefulness for reasons far less grievous than kidnapping his children… 

Their apology was swift and (seemingly) effective, though the tide waters around the Devildom did rise by several feet for some time…

As for the MC… uh… Well, they're an energetic one to say the least…

Lucifer hasn't met a more active individual since Mammon. They horseback ride, swim, surf, skateboard, and probably do ten other things - the point is, they Hardly. Keep. Still! 

They're also annoyingly easygoing… He can't count the number of times they've told him to, "Just chill out," or, "Hang loose…" What does that even mean??

Between having to order a stable made for their horse and just trying to keep up with them, Lucifer already thinks this mortal has caused him more trouble than they're worth… At least they keep Mammon busy...

Mammon

Upon first meeting them atop their horse, Sunset, his first thought was of course:

"I wonder if I sell that...?"

After that, they nearly fed him to sharks for trying to take their beloved steed on same night. Safe to say, he never touched a hair on its head again…

These two had a rocky start, but their relationship mended fairly quickly. As it turns out, the MC is literally one of those "go with the flow" types. You can say it was water under the bridge soon enough.

Mammon actually thinks the MC is a hell of a lot of fun, even if they're super laid-back. Most of the time, they won’t take his drive for money (or fear of his bills) all that seriously and tell him that he’s worrying too much, but they’ll still lend a hand if its on their way.

He finds their ability to control water pretty cool as well. Levi has it to some extent, but the MC can make a whole-ass whirlpool or use water like a whip! 

He once begged them to call up some rare fish for him to sell, but they got all pseudo-philosophical on him about how “trading life for material wealth” is “not cool, dude...”

He also made the mistake of challenging them to a splash fight only once…. They managed to drench the whole family with a single wave….

The only thing that bothers him is their weird insistence on being Levi's "Best Buddy…" Why would someone like them even bother with a shut in??

Is it the water? … Probably water. Levi, that lucky bastard…

Leviathan 

Thinks they're a big normie, no scratch that, a HUGE normie! The biggest normie he's ever met!! They skateboard and horseback ride for Devil's sake!!

...But they’re also, undoubtedly, the best friend he could've ever asked for.

To be fair to Levi, their friendship was sort of forced upon him. The MC took one look at him, his aquatic-themed room, and his pet goldfish then declared their new friendship status at that moment. 

Unfortunately for him, though, they're energetic, extroverted, and generally have little understanding of personal space… aka, an introvert's worst nightmare…

The next month could accurately be described as the MC doing everything in their power to make their stubborn "senpai" like them.

They would drag him out to the aquarium, beach, or pool; they befriended Henry so he could put in a good word for them; and they'd even bring him little gifts or trinkets they'd find on the ocean floor. Pretty shells and stuff like a cat bringing its master a dead mouse.

After he finally began to accept them as a persistent fixture in his life, he introduced them to gaming and anime and started accepting them little by little...

By the end of their stay, these two were practically inseparable. Not just because they like spending time together, but because they figured out they could have a telepathic link due to Levi being part sea serpent. 

No matter how far they are, they can always have a chat! (That no one else can hear so people think they’re just crazy...)

Satan

Satan honestly isn't the MC's biggest fan, he generally finds them too loud and gregarious for his liking. But their horse…?

He never really thought that he'd be a horse man... Yet it didn’t really take long for Satan to adore Sunset, their beautiful golden-maned mare. Apparently she's not their only horse, but by far their favorite traveling companion.

Sunset is a wonderful horse - brave, strong, and well-trained. It only took a few weeks before he was regularly sneaking out to the stables to brush her fur or feed her apples...

After the MC taught him how to ride, that was it. All other forms of transportation were inferior to him now.

Satan would ride Sunset everywhere and he looked damn good doing it! It takes all that fairytale Prince Charming thing he has going on and puts it through the roof.

It's a good thing too, because when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. Lucifer had to put seals on the House doors to keep Satan from riding Sunset through the hallways...

Of course, he’ll always let the MC have Sunset back when they need her!... with a little complaining but nothing terrible.

The MC doesn't mind much because Sunset likes him and they know he takes good care of her, but the rest of the House is slightly unnerved at how quickly he went horse crazy… What if they brought a giant crab instead?? No one wants to deal with crab-Satan...

Asmodeus 

Their body is just scrumptious. Oh, how he could look at their swimsuit-clad figure all day!! 😩

Between the swimming and the fighting, their form is toned to all hell and he can't get enough of it! Yes baby, yes!! Take those clothes off again!!! He'll help~! 😘

When he's not staring at them “totally respectfully,” then he's inviting them out to pool parties or begging them to take him riding...

There are parts of horseback riding he doesn’t like, the smell and the jostling specifically, but there is a kind of… romance to it, no?

He loves having the chance to snuggle up to the MC as they trot around the Devildom! It's so romantic, like they’re his knight in shining armor! (Or his demigod in a damp swimsuit, either works. 😏)

His Devilgram is just full of selfies of him and MC riding on the back of Sunset or sitting by the edge of the pool or them in the middle of a swim meet…

Yeah his Devilgram is now a one part him and one part MC-Appreciation account.

After the pact he'll eventually cool down some and stop staring at them like a sex-object, but even then he'll be at every swim meet. Don't you worry~

Beelzebub 

He actually really likes them! It's great to finally have another athlete in the House. 😊

The MC joined the RAD swim team just as soon the coach was able to convince Diavolo that having the child of a water god wasn't completely cheating... 

Since swim and fangol practice ends at about the same time, they walk home together a lot and complain about... sports things... (Forgive me, I don’t know sports. Uhm... Rival teams? Coaches? That one drill everyone hates? Stuff like that.)

Beel also can surf, skate, and snowboard so the two have a healthy competition going. They're about on equal footing so they tie often (except in surfing but Beel doesn't think that should count cause they’re probably cheating).

The only thing that he has to watch out for is Sunset… As in, he has to watch himself around Sunset because he absolutely could eat her on accident… 

Look, he doesn't want to and he doesn't even like horse meat that much, but even he has to admit there are times he gets hungry enough to consider it…

Of course, he knows that if he ever did Satan would rip him limb from limb then the MC would drown the rest so he really, really tries to control himself… but still… She’s a very healthy horse...

At least he didn’t try to sell her like Mammon. The MC hung him over a shark tank for that stunt… He’d feel bad, but Mammon kind of had it coming.

Belphegor 

The first time they met, the MC smelled like beach water and called him "dude-bro…" He didn't like his prospects.

For a while, he genuinely thought that they had a lump of sand where their brain was. They were just too chill!! Here he was saying that he's being held captive and they were like, "Well that sucks, man… I'll help ya, but I've got practice tomorrow. You can wait, right?"

It's not like he expected them to jump on top of it, but some urgency would have been nice…

When they eventually got around to helping him, he was actually looking forward to choking the life out of them for the extra wait. Unfortunately, they apparently had a horse…

Yeah, Belphie found out just a bit too late that the MC could summon their steed to them whenever they wanted and ended up with Sunset's hooves firmly bucking into his back for his trouble…

What followed was Belphegor running circles around the attic from the weapon-totting MC riding their terrifying murder horse until Lucifer finally intervened....

Thank the gods he wasn’t near any water….

As it would turn out later, as long as he's not being held captive in an attic Belphie kind of vibes with their laid-backness… They say they approach life "one wave at a time" or something.

He could care less about what that actually means, but what it translates to is "Stop stressing out and just keep chill" which he's all about.

Everybody should just chill out!... dude…. Nah, he'll let them stick to the “dude”-thing, it feels weird...

[mysticalrambling]

Missing You (T.H)

Tom Holland Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Tom is away for shooting and he is missing his daughter’s first easter. You and Sophia miss him terribly and he feels terrible for missing it. Sophia gets hurt during the egg hunt and Tom flies back to be with his family.

Warnings: Angst and some fluff.

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“Daddy?” You had been folding your laundry because it was a therapeutic chore. The maid always left it for you by the end of the day because she knew that you enjoyed doing it. Your moment was interrupted by your one year old daughter barging into your room with only one question on her mind.

She had recently started walking and you were silently thankful because your over protective husband wouldn’t let her touch the ground in the fear that she would hurt herself. It even came to the point that Sophia started becoming agitated whenever he interrupted her progress. She would scream Bloody Mary when she saw him approaching with his arms outstretched. You sat him down one day and gently explained to him that we have to let her explore the world. If she falls and gets hurt, then it was our job to take care of her but we could not protect her from everything in advance.

The moment she took her first steps, they were towards Tom. You were there to record the moment and you guys were so glad that Tom had backed off a little bit. He would be there for his little princess every step of the way. If she wanted to leap, she could and he will be there to catch her if she started to fall. Sophia was the most important person in his life after you.

“Daddy is going to be here before your first Easter, bunny. Hopefully.” The last word was more of a mumble for yourself because you really hoped that he would be here. Sophia was born a few weeks after Easter so this was her first one.

“Daddy?”

Sighing, you said, “Let’s just get ready and see how cute you look in your new costume.”

“Bunny!” She ran off to her room to put her name on the and you opened your phone. Your husband told you that he would drop a text at approximately this time if he was going to make it back before the party. Disappointed, you just put the phone back on the side table.

“Okay, you need to sit tightly so that I can make your braids.” She was a hyper ball after she found the candies on the coffee table that you were going to give it to her at the party. Allergies to nuts was one of the many things that she had inherited from Tom and you never liked to take chances regarding their health. “No more sweets for you today, miss.”

“Nooooooo. Daddy!” Sophia’s voice trembled in the end because she knew that her dad would defend her. He was her knight in shining armor.

“Daddy is not here so let’s stop screaming now.” You were already in a sour mood as your husband was not with you on an important milestone. And Sophia was not making things easy for you either.

“No!”

“You are ready. I am going to give you your coloring books while I go get ready.” You did not listen to her small sniffles and went to take a shower while keeping the door open so you could keep an eye on her. When you got out, your phone was ringing and it was Tom.

“Hi. I am so sorry I can’t make it today. I tried my very best to get done with filming but it was not possible. So sorry, darling.” There was a crack in his voice that let you know that he was devastated about it.

“It’s okay, baby. There will be other Easters and you will be there for all of them. Don’t be sad, please.” You  tried cheering him up but it was not working.

Tom was always big on firsts; your first date, your first I love you’s, Sophia’s first kick, Sophia’s first tooth. He kept a record of all the moments and he was incredibly sad that he did not get to witness his child’s first Easter. Acting was something that he really enjoyed but he hated it right now. It was keeping him away from his family. He had planned everything out from where to hide all the eggs to where to buy the small bunny cupcakes that he would give to his little girl at the end of the day. This was not right but he was helpless. He could not do anything because he had an obligation to his fans as well.

“Is she wearing the costume that I ordered her?” When you mumbled out a yes, he asked, “Can you please send me a picture?”

“Soph, come and stand here. Pose for daddy.” When you sent him the picture, there was no response from his side. Seeing the picture, Tom choked back a sob. His little bunny looked incredibly cute with a white dress and a bunny ear headband. A pink tint graced her cheeks which meant that she had some candies and she had a toothy smile. Before he could say anything, the director called him back to shooting. “We will talk to daddy later. He might be busy right now.”

Tom’s mom had planned a party at her house and the whole garden was prepared for the egg hunt. You both wanted to host the party this year but Tom had to go to Cardiff last minute because of his shooting. Your siblings and nieces and nephews were all going to be there. You were happy that you got to spend this occasion with your family but you were miserable right now. Tom was not here.

“Hi. Who is this little rabbit here?” Nikki leaned in front of the toddler and squished Sophia in one of her famous bear hugs.

“Sophia Anne Holland!” There was a proud undertone to her voice because she could speak her whole name now.

“You are the cutest bunny ever.”

“I know.” You all chuckled at her haughty admission and watched as she skipped towards her cousins.

“Tom isn’t going to make it today?”

“Um no. He could not get away from work and he said to apologise on his behalf.” It was like something was missing and you didn’t want to indulge in that feeling.

“I am sorry, darling but he will make it up to you and Sophie.” You wanted to divert the topic so you started to talk about the guests and the decorations.

Pretty soon, you started mingling with the people and they always asked about Tom. You either replied to them or politely redirected the conversation. It felt weird being at a gathering without Tom. You haven’t done that from the past five years and you realised you didn’t much enjoy it now. Keeping an eye on Sophia was hard because it was usually Tom who performed that duty. You were given a free pass at parties from all the responsibilities and were allowed to enjoy every moment. He was always considerate towards you and that is why you loved him to death.

“Sophia, you can not go near the pool.” You caught her in your arms before she could fall in.

“Dada swimm- swimming.” Tommy was the one who was teaching her to swim because it was a hobby that he wanted his daughter to adopt from him. When she saw the water, she thought that her dad will be there to teach her.

“When dad comes back, you can go swimming.” Sophia still kept looking around for her father because this is the longest she has been away from him. Her toddler mind thinks that if she goes to do things that they do together, he will come to her. You couldn’t even get angry at her for wandering around the house without anyone. Hugging her, you tried to distract her, “Now, granny is having an egg hunt and we need to win it, okay bubs?”

“Win!!” You took her in your arms and went towards the garden where all the people were.

“Look, Tom. (Y/N) is here.” A phone was shoved in to your face by Sam and you saw Tom’s face on the screen.

“Hi. I was calling you and you didn’t pick up. I wanted to see Sophie on the egg hunt.” There was a look of longing on his face.

“I was busy with your daughter. She was running near the swimming pool and wanted to get in because she thought that you would be there to teach her.”

“Is she alright? Let me see her.” You angled the phone towards your shoulder where she was leaning on him. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi. Back?” Tom wanted nothing more than to hold his daughter in his arms and his heart broke when his daughter asked him that question. It meant that he was away too long because she never asked that question before. She didn’t need to.

“I’ll be back in no time and then we will go swimming. Promise.”

“Yes.” She hopped down from your arms and went to the start line of the race.

“How have you been?”

“Just missing you a lot and handling Soph is getting harder by the day.” You moved to a more secluded place on the ground so you could talk to your husband.

“I am sorry, darling. When I come back, you can have the whole weekend off.”

“Just come back. I want to spend sometime with my husband.”

“That is a tempting offer but I have to stay here a little longer. But when I come back, we will do more than spend sometime together.”

“I will look forward to it. The game is starting so I have to go.” You were about to end the call but he stopped you.

“I want to see her and I have a break for another twenty minutes.”

“Okay.”

The race soon started and among all her cousins, Sophia was the youngest and the most hyper. You cheered her on with her grandparents and Tom. She was about to win the race and you were more excited than her. Tommy wanted to be there to witness her first victory but he settled down for seeing it on the phone. However, she stumbled on some rocks that were on the trail and she fell hard.

“Oh my god! Go to her, (Y/N).” Tom’s voice broke you out of your horrified trance and you went in to autopilot. When you reached near her, you gave the phone to someone behind you and kneeled in front of your daughter. She was crying really loudly and her arms was bent to an odd angle. Cuddling her in your arms, you picked her up and went towards your car. “What is happening? Mum, tell me!”

“I think Sophie’s arm is broken. (Y/N) is taking her to the hospital right now. I will keep you updated.” Nikki was moving quickly towards her car while she gripped the phone in her hands.

“Mum, I want to talk to my daughter right now.” He didn’t even realise that he was pacing and his hair was all messed up because he ran his hands through it several times.

“Tommy, I will keep you updated. Right now, she is a lot of pain and she is scared.”

“Please keep me informed.” This was one of the worst moment in his life because he wasn’t there for his girls. You both needed him right now and he wasn’t there. He decided then and there that he was going back to London.

Meanwhile, you reached the hospital with Sophia wailing in your arms and Sam driving like a cray man. You were sure that he would have multiple speeding tickets waiting for him when he gets home. The E.R was busy at this time of the day and you just laid your daughter on one of the beds while Nikki went to go get a doctor.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay. Please be strong, baby girl.” There were tears in your eyes as your daughter’s face turned red with all the crying and screaming. The little girl was in too much pain.

“Daddy, plea- please. Hurts a lot.” Hiccuping in the middle of the sentence, you looked at your brother in law helplessly. She wanted Tom and he wasn’t here right now.

“We will talk to daddy after the nice doctor here checks you out, baby.” She wouldn’t let anyone near her or her arm and kept asking for her father, She was inconsolable.

Sitting in front of the bed, the doctor asked, “Hi, I am Dr Ana. What happened to this little bunny here?”

“She, uh, she fell during the race and I think she broke her arm.” You stood on the foot of the bed as you shakily explained the whole situation. “Soph, let her check your boo boo please.”

“Daddy, please.”

“Okay, let me call your dad and you can talk to him.” Nikki interjected when she saw that the conversation was not reaching any end point.

“Okay.” You wiped her snot with your sleeves as she clutched her broken arm in pain.

“Tom, talk to Sophia. She is not letting the doctors treat her.” Putting the phone on speaker, Tom’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Hey bubs. You need to let the doctor check you and make the boo boo alright.” His soothing voice brought tears to your eyes as you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand right now.

“It hurts. Back please?”

“I am coming back right now so you need to let the doctor check your arm. I will be there in no time.”

“Okay.” The moment the doctor started examining her arm, you took the phone from your mother in law.

“It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to come back.” You sniffled a little as the doctor got a portable x-ray to check up on Sophia’s arm. She held on to your hand tightly as even the little movement hurt her.

“I am. In fact, my flight is already confirmed. I will be there in four hours, tops.”

Tom declined the call as his manager called him downstairs. Getting in to the car, he just prayed to God that his little girl would be okay. He swore mentally that he would never let Sophia run. He should have been there and he was going to never leave his family’s side ever again.

“I have given her some pain meds for her pain so she should be settling down now.” Sophia was moved to a pediatric room and now she was calming down a little bit. “What color cast do you want, Miss Holland?”

“Pink.” She stated as a matter of fact and you lightly laughed. Nikki and Sam were in the room as well and they were staying till Tom got here. The pain medication slowly started working and Soph drifted off to sleep with Mr Fluffs in her arms.

“We are going to get coffee and then we can get you a change of clothes. Do you want something else?” Whispering, Nikki placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I am fine. I just need the clothes and can you please bring some for Tom as well. I know he would come straight here from the airport.”

“Okay, darling. Take care and call us if something happens.”

“Okay, thank you.” You put your head on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Tom entered the hospital and the receptionist guided him towards Sophia’s room. Quietly steeping in there, he saw his two girls sleeping. Sophia looked so tiny in that patient bed and he never wanted to see her there. When he got close, he saw dried tears on his little girl’s cheek and his heart broke when he thought about the pain that she was in. The pink cast was set on her right arm and he want to her side and gently kissed it.

“I am so sorry baby, I wasn’t here. I won’t ever leave you again, I promise.”

“You are back.” The commotion in the room woke you up and you saw your husband right in front of you.

“Just got in.” Tom’s eyes never left the tiny human being laying underneath the sheets. “(Y/N), she is never running again.”

“Honey, children get hurt all the time. She will recover in no time.”

“But-���

“Dadda!” Your baby jumped in to his arms before any of you realised what was happening. Her cast bumped on to the iron rod of the bed and she let out a blood curling scream.

“Call the doctor. It’s okay, bubs. You are going to be okay.” Kissing her cast, he tried to calm down the crying toddler. Meantime, you went to call Dr Anna so that she could check Sophia’s arm.

“It is all fine. You just need to be really careful with that arm. We are going to keep her here for one day and then you both can take your little girl home.”

You took Sophia from your husband and told him to go change in to comfortable clothes. When he came back, you both settled on the small bed and your daughter told him all about the injury and the pain. You both signed her pink cast and Tom also drew some rainbows and birds on it. Soon, it was time for her to take her medicines and you had to bribe her with chocolates, She always got her way.

“I love you, baby. Go to sleep now.” He wrapped the blanket around her and switched off all the lights.

“Love you. Be here?”

“Yes, I will be here darling. Now, sleep.” Sophia soon drifted off to sleep and Tom sat beside you on the couch.

“I missed you, Tommy.”

“I missed you too and I am never leaving you both for this long. Now, let’s go to sleep. It has been a tiring day.” Pecking him on the lips, you both laid down and just basked in each other’s warmth. Contented, you drifted off to sleep with your husband and child in the same room. Everything was going to be okay.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: I loved to write about Tom Holland as a family man. Tell me how you guys feel about it and I am open to requests regarding dad Tom. If you want to be added to my tag list, comment down below.

Like, comment and reblog.

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