#i wrote this for class and i thought it was funny
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quordleona03 · 11 hours ago
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#this one goes out to the Beejdunking Brigade #i want bj to get better but i know he's just going to keep fighting it forever. if a warzone can't kill his ego idk what possibly could #peg takes the house and kid and dog and bj goes to maine as his backup plan and is greeted by mulcahy looking happier than ever #maybe then-- MAYYYYBE-- he can finally realize that there are consequences to shitting where you eat
I wrote Peg Hunnicutt in All We Know (will be posting the first chapter from her POV in December) as a woman who decided to stay married to BJ and made it work (and they had more children) (and BJ is a good dad). But I also wrote her - deliberately,consciously - as the kind of housewife for whom The Feminine Mystique was written when Betty Friedan was considering "The Problem That Has No Name." (Yes, I know she has a realtor's licence in "The Party" - for various reasons I decided that didn't turn into a career.) And while thinking about Peg Hunnicutt reading Betty Friedan's book when it was hot off the presses in 1963, I started to think about Peg Hunnicutt, home in Mill Valley, waiting for her husband to come home from the war - and I thought about the beejhawk narrative: BJ and Hawkeye fell in love during the war, and -
What About Peg?
So I wrote the story of BJ and Hawkeye coming home from the war, and the stranger in the house, from Peg Hunnicutt's POV: The Hunnicutt Mystique.
I don't intend to ever write a sequel to The Hunnicutt Mystique, not because I can't think of one but because I can easily think of half a dozen: and how do you pin someone as complex as BJ down to one ending? To me, BJ Hunnicutt's tragedy is that, all of his life, he has been top of the heap, king of the hill: tall and handsome and good at sports, good in his classes: he works hard for what he's got but he's starting from a privileged position which he does not in the least recognize. While an instinctively cruel person (he enjoys practical jokes) BJ recognises that being kind is better than being cruel, and he wants to be a good man, and he struggles to live up to his own ideals.
That BJ's ideals are very much that of a man who was born in the 1920s and came of age into the period where US media was pushing the narrative that a perfect family is one where the man leads and the woman follows, the man earns and has a career, and the woman stays home and is absorbed in housework and children, is of course not his fault; but I can't think that BJ ever examined this very hard. He wants to be Peg's perfect husband and Erin's perfect father, and the draft took him away from them and Peg spent two years learning to be just fine on her own.
And BJ went to the 4077th, where he found that - try as he might - he would never, there, be the man whose attention everyone competes for: he would never be top of the heap, king of the hill, recognised as the best surgeon, the funniest man, the one whose attention and approval everyone competes for - because Hawkeye got there first and BJ cannot win in any contest except those that Hawkeye frankly doesn't care about, like physical strength or chess. To make matters worse: BJ adores Hawkeye. Hawkeye is wonderful and kind and funny and knows exactly what to do in the weirdest situation BJ has ever been in. Hawkeye says, frankly and openly, that BJ is his best friend. (Except there was Trapper, who was also Hawkeye's best friend.) But if BJ is Hawkeye's best friend, Hawkeye feels no need to compete for BJ's attention: he assumes he'll have BJ's attention if he wants it, and if BJ is busy or preoccupied and brushes Hawkeye off, Hawkeye goes off to spend time with other friends and really doesn't seem to mind, or try harder for BJ's attention next time. To make matters even worse: Hawkeye keeps winning all of the contests without even seeming to try, and Hawkeye thinks BJ's work is good and offers praise and tries to find ways for BJ to shine - Hawkeye is BJ's age and all but a year in Korea equivalent in experience: but Hawkeye behaves as if he had authority over BJ. I think BJ would love to be able to take Hawkeye home and look after him. BJ would love to be in a situation where - as BJ sees it - the natural order of things is back: BJ is everyone's main guy, and Hawkeye is his best friend because BJ chose him, not because BJ fetched up at the 4077th and fell into Hawkeye's best-friend position.
And what if - Hawkeye's and BJ's relationship is exactly what we see it is in the series, but Hawkeye is in a loving, romantic, sexual relationship with Mulcahy?
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meme redraw ft captain hunnicuck
the thing about hawkahy is i think it presents a wonderful character development opportunity for beej once he accepts that his waifish wifeable roommate picked a shorter, sweeter, quieter, poorer partner over the big man on campus who took him for granted enough to punch him in the face and then act like nothing happened, because it turns out hawkeye values honesty and empathy over whatever the hell is going on with bj. maybe eating his own heart out is the first step to getting over himself
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kpopflowerfield · 9 hours ago
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Run | njm
ღ pairing: college fem! reader x classmate! jaemin
ღ word count: 6k
ღ genre: nsfw, mdni
ღ warnings: making out, soft sex, fwb, fingering, tit sucking, soft dom! jaemin, oral sex (f receiving), protected sex,
ღ rating: angst/fluff
ღ networks: @k-vanity @k-library
ღ author’s note: ty to @lovetaroandtaemin for beta reading!!
ღ summary: You and Jaemin were a fling once upon a time but reader decided to date someone else, leaving jaemin heartbroken, becoming distant from their friendship as he didn’t want to face his feelings
↠ check out the rest of the tracklist here! ↞
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You stared at the board in utter confusion about what your professor was writing. Nothing was lining up from the notes you took in your previous class with Mr. Oh. You sighed and heard a chuckle from the boy who sat next to you. "What's so funny?" You whispered as he looked at the notes you had spread out on your laptop and the books in front of you. "If you're lost, I can help," He smiled at you. You smiled to yourself at the way his eyes formed little smiles of their own.
"If you're willing to help me out, I wouldn't say no…" you trailed off. He snickered at you. "Just give me your number," he pushed over a pad of sticky notes to you. You took the pad, wrote your number down, and handed it back to him. He looked at your neat handwriting as he peeled off the note with your information and put it in his pocket.
"I'll text you after class. You don't have to let me know what you're lost on. I can send you my notes." You sighed in relief at his offer. "I just met you, but you're my savior." He laughed quietly at you as your professor wrapped up. You stood up with him and walked out. "Good luck with the rest of your day!" he called out as you walked your separate ways. "You too!" You smiled as you walked into your booked study room.
Unknown number: Hey! It's Jaemin from statistics!
Y/N: Hey! Thank you again for being so willing to help me out! I owe you big time! ㅠ_ㅠ
Jaemin: It's seriously no problem!
Jaemin: [7 images]
Jaemin: These are all the notes I took! Text me whenever if you're confused!
Y/N: Seriously, Jaemin. You are my savior.
He laughed at your text as you smiled. Your friend was watching you, but you were too focused on texting Jaemin, which you didn't even notice.
Y/N: What's your major, btw?
Jaemin: comp sci
Y/N: so you're brilliant:,)
Jaemin: What about you, pretty?
Your cheeks flushed at the compliment that Jaemin gave you out of nowhere. You did find him ridiculously attractive, and he made it hard for you to focus sometimes. He always sat somewhere near you. Even if you didn't look up to see who was sitting next to you, you knew it was him from the citrusy cologne he always wore.
Y/N: Political science :) I'm going to start law after! I'm looking into some classes abroad once I'm done with the semester.
You had a grin on your face as you texted him; your friends were still watching, waiting for you to look up from your phone. Areum nudged you with her elbow, and you took your eyes off your phone for a moment to look at her. "Who are you texting for you to smile like that?" You blushed lightly at her, calling you out. "Just some guy from one of my lectures," you shrugged it off as she nodded a bit. "'Some guy,'" she mocked you, and you whined at her teasing.
A few days passed by, and you were still glued to your phone. Messaging Jaemin every thought you could tell him, and he did the same. You both had so much in common that you were surprised. "How's your boyfriend?" Areum teased. She became relentless when she mentioned him. She was always acting as if you've never talked to a guy on campus before him. It wouldn't be too far-fetched. You did try to talk with some other guy in your anthropology class last semester, but he wasn't into talking to you at all, and after him, you didn't really want to get involved with someone else.
"Yeah, yeah. You know he's not my boyfriend," You stretched your arms out as you put your phone down and started to focus on your classwork. "I mean, you guys are texting non-stop; you've been running off as soon as our reservation is over, too. It's not too outlandish for me to think you're dating,"
It was hard to argue; everything she was saying was true, but you just had so much fun with Jaemin that it was hard not to want to spend time with him. Jaemin was going through similar conversations with his roommate, Jisung. You were over their place so much that he started to tease you about starting to pay rent.
His place just felt so comforting, plus for two twenty-something-year-olds, their place was nice. The place was always clean, except maybe a clutter of shoes near the doorway and study materials on a dining table that they had never used.
Minnie: Come over when you're done with classes. I want to see your face.
Y/N: I'm almost out of this lecture. I'll come running over.
He laughed to himself at your message, knowing you were dead serious about running to him once you were done, and that's what you did. You ran up the steps and knocked. The door opened after a moment as Jisung stood there, his oversized shirt swallowing his body. "Jaemin! Your girlfriend is here," He called out as he let you in. Jaemin walked out of his room and smiled at the sight of you.
"How was your class today?" He smiled, embracing you in a hug. "It was good," You wrapped your arms around him as he kissed the top of your head. "Alright, love birds. I'm going to class and have a study room reserved." Jisung announced. "Have fun!" Jaemin didn't even look in his direction as he led you to his room.
He turned on the TV as he laid down on the comfy duvet. You lay down next to him, cuddling up to him as he turned on some stupid reality show that you would barely focus on. You looked up at him from his side. He smiled down at you, cupping the side of your face. "You're so beautiful," He cooed as your cheeks flushed. The way he was looking at you as he leaned down was setting off fireworks in your mind, and once his lips met yours, it felt as if the finale was starting. His lips were gentle against yours.
He moved on top of you carefully, balancing on his arms beside you. He bit your bottom lip gently, pulling gently as a soft moan slipped out from your mouth. Your body was heating up as he kissed you deeper.
Your lips melted against his as his arm slipped behind your back, pulling your torso closer to his. His tongue danced with yours as he held you closer.
You've made out with other people plenty of times, but it felt so natural with Jaemin. He held you tight, not wanting to let you go as his kiss grew deeper. "You're so perfect," He mumbled against your lips.
You could feel his growing member against your thigh, and your cheeks flushed. You should maybe slow down. It wouldn't be good to have sex just a few days after meeting... right?
You couldn't help yourself as you held onto Jaemin. His lips traveled from your lips to your chin. Leaving light and gentle kisses until he reached your neck.
His lips pressed against your soft skin, focusing on that sweet spot that made you let out a soft whimper. He loved the sounds leaving your lips as he bit down lightly. Leaving light marks down your neck.
He followed the same path as before as he kissed your lips, pulling your lip down and sliding his tongue in your mouth. He couldn't get enough of you.
His lips separated from yours, putting his forehead on yours. "We should slow down, shouldn't we?" He wasn't sure how you felt and didn't want you to feel pressured into making the heated make-out session into something much more.
You nodded hesitantly. You wanted to feel him deep inside of you. To feel his tongue so much more than just inside of your mouth. Both of you wanted much more but didn't want to rush into it just yet.
He moved over, so he wasn't on top of you. He pulled you closer to him so you could cuddle. He changed the TV to a movie for the two of you to watch. You looked up at him, seeing the way he was entranced in the movie that was playing.
"Hey, Jaemin?" You looked up at him as his eyes shifted from the screen to you. "Yeah?" He smiled softly. You looked into his eyes; god, they were beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful. "I like you a lot, Jaemin." You watched his expression.
He laughed and smiled. You tried to hide your disappointment in his reaction. People were already making assumptions that you were a couple, but you couldn't even take that seriously when all he did was look at you and smile.
No actual response to your confession. It did really hurt that he didn't even say anything back. Just a laugh and nothing else. You focused on something else as he still had his arm wrapped around you.
You both continued with what you usually did. The time together never changed. Going out to dinners, buying each other gifts just because, even the occasional intimate moments that you had. Thank god there was no awkwardness from the confession.
You looked at him, standing in his door frame as Jisung had already left for the day and went to class. His body came closer to yours. The way you were looking at him made his heartbeat speed up.
He walked over to you, cupping your face. "You're so beautiful." His voice was barely a whisper as he looked at you. Your cheek was nuzzling into his touch. He leaned down, his lips meeting yours as you held onto him. Your hands placed on his waist as he held your hips, picking you up. His hands shifted to your ass as he kissed you.
Your tongues moved in sync as he carried you to his room. Soft moans escaped your lips as he nibbled down your neck. Each sound encouraged him more, eager to please you. He carefully laid you on his bed, hovering himself above you. "I want to go further," He studied your expression, searching in your eyes for what you wanted. "I do, too," Your eyes filled with the excitement of finally feeling him.
He moved off of you, taking off his shirt and tossing it across his room as you followed what he did. Taking your bra off as he bit his lip, staring at your tits. "God, you're perfect," He exhaled, getting on top of you.
His lips were ghosting down the side of your neck and around your nipple. You gasped lightly at the feeling of his tongue flicking on your nipple. His teeth lightly pulled at the pebbled flesh. "Jaemin," you moaned quietly.
Those sweet sounds escaping your lips just encouraged him more as his tongue continued to circle. Your core was heating up with his touch. His hand moved down slowly, taking in every inch of your skin. He reached for your pants and pulled them down. Goosebumps spread as you felt his hand massage your thighs lightly. He could feel heat radiating from your body. His gentle kisses traveled down the center of your stomach. Your body tensing underneath him.
He pulled your underwear down and looked up at you, his eyes looking for permission. You quickly nodded as he spread your legs, moving so he could lay in between your legs. "If it gets uncomfortable with me here, just put your legs on top of me." He coached as you nodded; words could barely form as you were too excited to feel him on a different level.
He slid your underwear down, tossing it off to join the rest of your clothing. His finger teased your slit as you squirmed. He stared up at you, watching your expression as he parted your folds. "You have such a pretty pussy," He mumbled before gliding his tongue around your clit.
Your fingers wrapping themselves in his hair from the pleasure. Your back arched as he lightly sucked on your clit, moaning from the taste of you. The pleasure came over you in waves. He slipped his finger in as you moaned out. His finger moved slowly, making you jerk your hips, wanting more and more from his touch.
His drool dripped down your thighs as your breathing was heavy. His finger pushes in up to his knuckle before adding a second. "F-fuck, Jaemin.." You whimpered. He looked so smug, seeing how much pleasure you were in from just his touch. "Yes, baby?" You could only moan in response. His fingers sped up, touching your walls in ways you haven't felt as they clenched around his fingers. "God," You swallowed. "P-please just fuck me," You pleaded. His fingers stopped as he slipped them out of your dripping wet heat.
He took his pants off and walked over to his nightstand, grabbed a condom, and slipped it on. "How do you want to do this?" His voice was gentle. "I just want you in me. I want to feel every inch of you deep inside."
The neediness you spoke with made his hunger for you grow. He grabbed pillows and put them under your back, making it more comfortable for you. Your legs lifted for him as he placed one of your legs on his shoulder. His eyes looked at you once more for permission as his tip was pressing on your opening.
You bit your lip and looked at him. “Please fuck me,” You pleaded. That was all he needed to hear before his cock slowly was wrapped in your warmth.
"Oh fuck, Y/N," he groaned, keeping his pace slow. He wanted to savor every part of you. "Y-you feel so good, Jaemin," You mewled out as his hips rolled into you. He moved your legs off of his chest. You quickly wrapped them around his hips, still wanting to have more of your body on his
The feeling of his length pumping in and out of you making you moan out. His pace picked up as he leaned down, kissing your lips. "You feel so fucking good," His voice was so husky as you hummed in response against his lips.
His hips struck yours as you moaned out, his pace picking up as he was driving you closer and closer to your orgasms. His lips indulging in every part of your skin he could. You moaned out as your walls convulsed around him.
He picked up his pace but kept his thrusts gentle. "I love how you feel wrapped around me," He grunted as you felt his cock twitch. "Don't stop," you purred. His cock was introducing you to new pleasures. Your eyes shut halfway as they rolled back. His hips stuttered against yours as he groaned. "Fuck, Y/N," He didn't have to say much more for you to know he was right on the edge. Your walls spasmed against his cock. "I'm gonna fucking cum," You whined as he held your hips tightly.
Your legs wrapped around his waist tightly. "Jaemin," You cried out as that knot in your stomach unraveled, your legs quivering as your grip on him loosened. His thrusts halted, his body shuddering over yours as you felt his cock twitching inside of you.
He looked down at you, moving carefully to leave a long kiss on your lips. He panted as he placed his forehead on yours. "You felt so good," He smiled at you, his lips meeting yours again. Your lips melted against his. "You're amazing, Jaemin," You watched him as he pulled out carefully. You moved your legs, removing them from his hips that they were on. He got off the bed and walked to his bathroom to discard the condom.
He walked over, pulling the covers back so you both could get under. His arms wrapped around you as his thumb brushed on your shoulder. "Hey, Y/N?" He looked down at you, seeing you wrapped in the sheet as you lay on his side. "Yes, Minnie?" You smiled up at him. "I really like you. You're so perfect," you both liked each other more than you could put into words. It was hard to react to his confession. Just a few weeks ago, you confessed, and it was laughed off and pushed behind you. You nodded against his bare chest. His thumb is still brushing against your shoulder. He didn't say anything else about the confession.
An awkwardness filled the room that night. Neither of you would admit to it, but things were changing between you. You both were just trying to play it off as if nothing was wrong. You still texted one another and hung out, but jokes from Areum and Jisung disappeared. It felt weird getting asked if you were dating now. Nobody's asked in a few weeks, so maybe people were accepting you were just friends with Jaemin.
That was until you were approached by a couple of girls that you didn't even know. "It's Y/N, right?" You nodded as they stood across from the table you were working at.
"You and Jaemin are a couple, right?" Your brows furrowed at the sudden question. Strangers were now asking out of the blue. They were staring at you, waiting to hear your answer.
You bit the inside of your lip, not knowing what to say. "We're just friends, that's all," You panicked as two girls you've never met before looked at you in shock, expecting you to say that you were a couple.
"So I can shoot my shot, and you'll be okay with it?" She stared at you, waiting to hear every damn response you had. "Yeah, go ahead." You shrugged as she walked off with her friend.
You shook your body like you were trying to get rid of the vibes from that conversation. Everything felt off the rest of the day. Your phone buzzed suddenly. You weren't expecting to hear from Jaemin anytime soon as he had a lecture that took up most of his days.
Minnie: Damn, I've had like four girls dm me today. Do you know anything about that?
Y/N: I'm sorry. I panicked when people asked me what we were. I said we're just really close friends.
Y/N: I mean
Y/N: that is what we are?
Y/N: right?
You panicked with each text. Maybe you shouldn't have just dismissed the girls by saying you were friends and nothing more. That was your opportunity to claim him as yours and maybe solidify your relationship. Regrets started to seep in as you waited for his response.
As you waited to hear from him, you packed up your belongings and walked home. You were getting worried that maybe you fucked up. Maybe you should've told those girls not to talk to him. It was too late now for you to take back your words.
You sighed as you walked into your apartment. Setting your study materials on the dining table. You were supposed to focus on your work, yet you were tapping your home screen every few minutes. The screen lit up to a photo of you and Jaemin as you searched through notifications, seeing that he texted you about five minutes ago.
Minnie: Yeah
You stared at that four-letter word. He always had more to say than just one quick word. Even with the confessions from both sides, nothing happened, so why did he seem so upset this time around? For the first time, actual awkwardness seeped in between both of you. It wasn't one of those quick ones that got pushed behind you. It felt much more severe.
Conversations were shorter, and you didn't think much at first. Maybe he started talking to one of the girls that hit him up. You kept telling yourself everything would work out. Conversations were just shorter since finals were around, and Jaemin wanted to study for them seriously. It wouldn't surprise you as he always held himself to high standards.
You'd be happy for him if he did; you started talking to another guy you ran into on campus. You could only wish Jaemin was doing the same. The connection that started to form between you and Jeno was becoming similar to the one you had with Jaemin. Your only issue was telling if this would stay as a platonic friendship and not a relationship. That was always your downfall when talking to someone.
Jaemin was a prime example. God, he was perfect. He knew everything about you, every place you loved to be touched, the pace that would drive you straight to an orgasm every time without fail. He also knew what made you smile after a rough day of class or if you ran into trouble with anything. He just knew you.
You couldn't lie when you say you regret how things were beginning to separate from you and Jaemin; it would've been much easier for you just to commit and try again with confessing.
Jaemin could say the same about you. That's why he was worried about the distance that started to form. It wasn't intentional, but he was hurt that you didn't try again with him. Instead, you just let him go without talking to each other.
Minnie: Hey love, I was wondering if you'd like to come over? I miss you, and I want to talk with you :(
You stared at the text and looked over at Jeno. He was watching your movements as you held your phone. "I'm so sorry to do this. Do you mind if we study another night? You have my number, so just text me." You collected your belongings.
He gave you a quick goodbye as you made your way over to Jaemin's. Your heart suddenly started to beat faster as you got closer and closer. It has been a while since you've seen him, and you were just hoping he didn't have a grudge against you.
The door opened after a quick and gentle knock. "Y/N," He grinned and wrapped you in a hug. "I wasn't expecting you to come. You didn't say anything after I asked." You stood there in his embrace for a moment. Holding onto him like your life depended on it.
"Are you upset at me?" you blurted out, your head on his chest. Your heart rate decreased as you heard him sigh. "No, silly." He let you into his apartment, not wanting to keep holding you in his door frame. "Are you mad at me?" He fired the same question at you as you shook your head quickly. "Absolutely not. But I am curious about something," You had a mischievous smirk on your face as he raised an eyebrow, wondering what you could've possibly been talking about.
"And where is the curiosity coming from?" He sat down on the couch. "What girls hit you up?" You took your place on the couch next to him as he laughed a bit. "Let's see," He pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"We have…" He opened Instagram and clicked on his messages. "Jinsoul from my databases class, Hayun from the linguistics lecture we had. Sua from my algorithm lecture and Sohye from calculus." He laughed a bit and closed out of them.
You couldn't help but notice that he hasn't responded to any of them. "Okay, Mr. Popular," You teased him as he shook his head. "How about you?" He nodded towards your phone in hand. You laughed. "Only one person,"
"Really?" He was trying his best to hide his jealousy. "Yeah, Lee Jeno. He was in my psych class last year, and he randomly decided to message me. We've been hanging out. We have the same major, so we study it once a week."
He nodded, biting the inside of his lip. "I'm glad you found someone willing to help within your major. That's always helpful," He smiled at you, placing his hand on your lower thigh. "Yeah, but I still like your help," You grinned at him.
He wanted to ask you a million questions about Jeno but didn't want to press you. He figured it wasn't worth the questioning. He was jealous, though. He loved having study dates with you. He loved being able to watch you finally understand something difficult that he put into terms you understood.
He ignored his feelings for this random Jeno guy. It didn't matter. That's what he told himself. You and him were all that mattered when you came over.
It changed over time for him. What you once had wasn't happening anymore. Every time you came over, all you could do was talk about Jeno. What did Jeno help you with that week in your classes, and what were Jeno's favorite things to talk about?
It was all too much for Jaemin. He should've known it would end up as a fling for the two of you, but he figured you would be able to make it work at some point. He knew after this year you were going abroad, but he was hoping you would be with just him until the time you were going to leave.
He wasn't sure how to say these words to you. You meant the world to him, and he was losing you to some stupid guy in your major. He wanted to spend time with you and just have silly text messages in between you, but everything stopped. He eventually stopped asking if you wanted to come over because you would always be busy with classwork or with Jeno. He stared at his phone, debating if it was worth texting you, but he couldn't help himself, so he sent you a text. He wasn't too outlandish for wanting to see your face again.
Minnie: Come over :( I miss seeing your face. I know I haven't asked in a while.
You stared at the text as Jeno looked over your shoulder. "Hey, just stay with me," He smiled at you. You laughed lightly. "I want to, but he's also my best friend. I can't just keep saying no." You watched as Jeno crawled on top of you. His naked body is hovering over you in his sheets.
"Come on, Y/N," He kissed your neck as you sighed out, loving the feeling of his soft lips on your neck. "See, I know you want to stay." He smirked against your neck. You bit your lip, hesitation setting in. "Jeno, I'd love to stay, but maybe later. Okay? I just want to stop by his place for an hour. Two, tops." You stared up at those gorgeous eyes he had.
"Alright, love. Text me when you get there. I want to make sure you get there safe." He moved back to your side. You got out of his bed and dressed yourself. "I will," You smiled, watching as he leaned closer to you. You bent down and let a kiss land on his lips as he smiled at you. "Have fun," He watched as you walked out. Your heart was still pumping from your 'workout' with Jeno as you made the walk to Jaemin's.
You knocked on the door, and Jaemin opened it. Smiling at you, he didn't say anything, but he noticed that you didn't fix your hair after leaving Jeno's and the bite mark on the side of your neck. He just let you in without saying anything for a moment. He cleared his throat. "I was thinking we could get some food and watch one of those stupid reality shows." He looked at you as you quickly nodded. "Absolutely, I love those stupid shows." He let out a heartfelt chuckle. "I know you do."
He started to feel stupid; he didn't want to say it out loud, but he knew there wasn't much he could do on his own to make everything the way it used to be.
"So, what have you been up to since I last saw you?" You plopped down on his couch. He thought for a moment, trying to remember what he's done in the past three weeks. "Studying, I really want to do good on my final." He nodded, biting his lip as he thought a bit more. "I've watched a few anime's I wanted to get to. That's about it," He nodded.
He really didn't want to hear about Jeno, but he also didn't want to be rude and not ask how you were doing. He cleared his throat and sat next to you. "What about you?" He watched as you started to fix your hair. "I've been studying too. Going out with Jeno, too. He's amazing, Jaemin. We connect over everything, and it just feels so natural whenever we're together," You sighed happily.
A sour taste grew more potent in his mouth as he nodded. He couldn't help but think of what you said about him. "I'm glad." He was short and to the point, not wanting to hear about him again for the rest of the night. "What do you want to eat?" He was trying to hide the jealousy in his voice, as you thought. "Pizza? Or maybe some chicken," You spaced out, thinking hard about what you wanted.
Jaemin laughed. "How about both? I see the steam coming out of your ears," He teased you, making you whine at him. He smiled and ordered your food. He didn't want to pry but couldn't help himself. "So…what are you and Jeno?" He watched your reaction, the way your cheeks flushed at the mention of his name. A bitter taste in his mouth spread as he couldn’t get rid of it.
"We're together," You nodded, hearing a knock on the door. He stood up without a word and took the food, placing it on the table in front of you two. He tried to keep the mood light even though he was hurt hearing you admit your relationship with Jeno. He still believed that maybe there was a chance for the two of you—more than just a semester. But every time your mouth opened and Jeno's name left your lips, his heart broke some more.
He still desperately wanted to hang out with you, even though it became different in the past. The few times that you've had to catch up, he doesn't even say a word that you react to. All you could do was utter your boyfriend's name, and it started to make his hatred for this random guy grow. He created distance, slowly but enough for you to rarely talk. You started to notice after it's been a month and a half since you've talked.
Y/N: Minnie, is everything okay? We haven't talked in a while :( Are you upset about anything?
Minnie: I'm okay, Y/N. I'm just not trying to get in the way of you and your boyfriend.
Y/N: oh, shush. You're my friend! I always have time for you. I just have been worried since you haven't reached out.
Minnie: No. I'm okay; I'm free tomorrow night if you want to come over, and we could talk some more. I just want to get my classwork done now.
You blinked at the way he suddenly shut down the conversation. It was weird, even for him. It wasn't like him, he's been upset before, but he's always talked to you. You brushed it off for the night as Jeno's touch kept your mind off of how weird Jaemin was being.
You checked the time as you stretched out. You picked up your phone and saw Jaemin's text.
Minnie: Come over whenever.
Y/N: Alright, I'll leave soon :)
You stood up, throwing on some sweats and Jeno's hoodie. You texted him that you were walking up and saw him opening his door from the steps. "Hey," You smiled at him. "Hey," He held the door open for you as you walked.
You made your way to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle from his fridge. "So, what did you want to talk about?" You took a sip of your water. "I know you thought something was off." He cleared his throat. "And there kind of is," You watched as he ran his fingers through his hair. Your heart sped up hearing him admit that. Silence filled the room at that moment.
"What's wrong?" You questioned, your heart beating out of your chest. "I know I told you it was no problem that you told people we weren't together. I just wish you asked me first. I feel like we never sat down to talk about it. Just weird confessions out of nowhere, and that was all." You shook your head at him, not believing what he had to say.
"Jaemin…" You sighed deeply. "I confessed to you, and you laughed it off. After that, I thought it was pretty straightforward that we were seeing it as just a fling. I didn't think it was something serious after that." You became upset that he was trying to blame you.
"I know, that's why it took me a bit, but then when I confessed, you did the same thing." He sat on the edge of his couch, staring at you. "Is this about Jeno?!" You scoffed as he held his head.
"Do you have to bring him to everything?!" He didn't raise his voice, but you could see he was getting annoyed. "Listen, Y/N. You went off and told everyone that I'm single. I got a few messages from girls who just want to sleep around. Not have a connection. While you got a whole relationship, I am upset, but I think I have every right to feel this way."
You listened as he rambled. Starting to get frustrated with how he was speaking. "You didn't make it clear to me, Jaemin. Please don't assume that it's my fault that we're not dating. There was clearly something about each other that neither of us wanted. I'm not taking the blame, and I'm not placing it on you. But you are being ridiculous."
His jaw dropped slightly upon hearing your words. "Clearly, something isn’t working. I thought we were both pretty honest with each other, but I was wrong. I can't just stand by and be here for you when you never want to see me because you're too busy with your boyfriend. I can't hang out and listen to you bring him up with every mention of something I say." He took a deep breath. "I'm happy for you. I'm glad you have someone, even though I wish it were me. I just think we should go separate ways."
You stared at him in disbelief. "What do you mean?" You watched as he crossed his arms over his body. "I found something else for me to do. A better program for my major abroad. I'd rather follow that than stand here every day, debating whether even to text you because you don't even respond anymore." He shrugged as you nodded slowly.
"Where are you going?" You looked at him, seeing the way his body relaxed completely. "Singapore, there's a good college over there, so hopefully that'll help me out to find a good job." His voice seemed so dry as if he was talking about something he really didn't want to do.
"And you really want to go?" You couldn't help but question him as he nodded. It was a slight nod, but it was enough for an answer. "I'm going to miss you," You walked closer to him. "I'm always a text away, don't forget that." You spoke gently. Reaching your arms out for a hug, he held you close. "I'm going to miss you, Jaemin," You sighed and held onto him.
He reluctantly hugged you, worried about getting himself hurt if he said much more. He cleared his throat as you let go. "Are you really going?" Your voice was small, and tears were forming in your eyes as he nodded. "Yeah, I hope you have a good time when you go abroad too. We can text whenever," He shrugged as you nodded. You were in disbelief that he was leaving, but there was nothing that you could say to make him stay.
He did want to stay, but now that he's really seen how you feel for someone else, he's just decided it was better for him to run.
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little-cereal-draws · 7 months ago
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Mr. Einstein Has a Gun
Commander Rox sipped his coffee as he got out of his shiny black car. The parking lot of the aquarium was crawling with officers running to and fro; the lesser ranked ones were setting up barricades and commanding frightened families to stand back while the more experienced ones were clustered around large armored trucks, listening to equipment. Commander Rox confidently strode through the chaos; this was his playground. 
“Any progress?” he asked, stepping up to one of the vans. 
“Not yet, sir,” one of the officers responded. Her hair was pulled into a brown bun. 
“Hostages?” He handed his empty cup to one of the newbies. They scurried off to go throw it away.
“Seventeen, from what we can gather.”
“Hm. Any trouble yet?” 
“Not yet, sir. All the civilians have been safely evacuated. We’re pretty sure all the hostages are staff.”
Rox looked at the case brief he had been given when he was first alerted of the situation. “That would make sense given their proximity to the tanks. Do we have a line inside?”
“Yes, sir, we do. We have yet to actually speak to our perp, though. One of the staff members is acting as his ambassador.”
“Great. Patch me in.” Rox took a pair of black headphones from the back of the van and carefully put them on, careful not to bend the wire frames of his dark aviators. 
There was an anticipatory moment as the line rang. He had been doing hostage negotiations for almost thirty years and still the moment before the line was live tingled with anticipation. When he was younger, he would get the horrible thought that the perp killed all the hostages before picking up and everyone would blame him. Now, he knew that if that happened, his men would storm in and kill anyone who dared go against them. It was easier to stamp down the fear. 
The line clicked alive and a timid voice said, “Hello?”
“Hello,” he said smoothly, his fleeting fears forgotten, “this is Commander Rox with the NYPD. Who am I speaking with?”
“Um, Doctor Kelly Bluebond,” the voice responded.
“Excellent. Nice to meet you, Doctor. I apologize for the brief introduction of myself but I really must know if…” he checked the brief, “if Mr. Einstein is there.”
“Um, he is,” Kelly whispered.
“Alright. Don’t be afraid, Doctor, we’re going to get you out. Is anyone hurt?”
“No.”
“Fantastic. Can you ask Mr. Einstein if he has any demands?”
“Uh, he does. I was telling the other officer earlier, he wants oysters. But we can’t do that right now because they’re currently almost extinct from New York Harbor and the Oyster Project is trying to reintroduce them so we need to save them and we could get them imported but then they come frozen and he doesn’t like that and–”
“Excuse me, Doctor, but you said oysters? As in the food?” Rox raised an eyebrow. He had heard many insane requests in his day –private jets, millions in cash, full pardons– but this was a first.
“Yeah. And a $300 puzzle game he saw one of the keepers looking at on Amazon but we just don’t have the budget for that,” Kelly cried. 
“I– I’m sorry, a puzzle game?” Rox rubbed his temples. “We can get you a puzzle game. Wait– I’m sorry, I’m a bit confused. Your colleague, Mr. Einstein, is keeping you captive in return for oysters and a puzzle game?”
“Yes. And he can get very, very angry.” The sounds of Kelly crying came through Rox’s headphones.
“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Rox soothed. “You’re going to be OK. My men are the best goddamn men in New York. We’ll get you all out of there.”
“Thank you, thank you,” she whimpered. 
“Does Mr. Einstein have a history of being angry and violent when he doesn’t get what he wants?”
“Oh, yes, he bit me once while I was cleaning. He doesn’t like people touching his things.”
“He bit you? I… I’m so sorry to hear that. You should’ve filed a complaint with the police and we could’ve gotten him behind bars for assault years ago and avoided this whole situation. But I digress. None of that matters because we’re here now. I would like to speak with Mr. Einstein myself if that’s OK.”
Kelly sniffed. “You’re not going to get much out of him.”
“Don’t worry, I can break even the most hardened of criminals,” Rox said proudly. 
He felt a tap at his elbow and looked over to see the brown haired officer from before. Covering the mic on her headphones, she whispered, “Sir, Mr. Einstein is an octopus.”
Rox jumped back in surprise. “What?! Wait– what? Our perp –our seventeen hostage perp– is a fucking octopus?!” 
“I know, sir, it’s terrible,” the officer said, nodding gravely. “The NYPD has never dealt with anything like this before.”
Rox sputtered. “Wha– How– How the hell does an octopus even get seventeen hostages?!”
“Um, we informed you of the situation in your brief, sir.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He flipped the manilla folder open to read the brief again. “You said Mr. Einstein –of course his name is fucking Mr. Einstein, that makes sense now– was, and I quote, ‘armed and highly dangerous.’ How the hell is an octopus armed and dangerous?!”
“Well, he has eight arms, sir.”
Commander Rox rolled his eyes.
The officer nervously continued, “Apparently he somehow got out of his tank and found… a gun. We’re not sure how yet, firearms aren’t allowed in the aquarium but admittedly there is no security enforcing that besides a sign on the wall. But somehow Mr. Einstein got a gun and immediately started pointing it at the staff. At first, they figured he thought it was a new toy but when he fired a warning shot into the air, they knew he meant business. One of them called the police before they were rounded up and we evacuated everyone.”
“My god. An octopus can’t operate a firearm!” Rox shouted. He turned back to his mic. “This is highly illegal, calling in a fake active shooter threat like this, Doctor!”
“Octopi are actually highly intelligent,” Kelly said. “I am not surprised at all that he figured out how they work so quickly. He’s gotten out of his tank before and we thought we could just put him back this time like we did before but then he pulled out a gun! He’s not supposed to have a gun!”
Rox wiped a hand down his face. “OK, OK. I’m going to put an end to this once and for all. I’m going in.”
He tore the headphones off and stomped towards the aquarium. 
“Wait!” the brown haired officer called after him. “It’s not safe to go alone! Bring a team! This is a gun!”
Rox turned around to face her. Sarcastically, he yelled, “There’s only one thing to do now, isn’t there? If Mr. Einstein the octopus has a fucking gun, so will I!”
He pulled his gun out of its holster and marched in.
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sailforvalinor · 9 months ago
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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scaredofstyrofoam · 2 years ago
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Sketches I did of @bunnieswithknives twooofus!au in class today cuz I'm sick and have art block so I didn't know what else to draw.
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crowempress · 23 days ago
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i was late to an exam i wrote a few weeks ago bc of issues with my alarm + transport and I got it back today and i got 92%. Despite having 25 minutes less to write it. I think I might be a little bit good at school
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website-com · 1 year ago
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when thinking of the word ‘mothered’ the first synonyms to pop to mind include that of doting, fussing or crooning, but the term ‘fathered’ is often only a synonym for insemination
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iridescentis · 6 months ago
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my english teacher telling his class of girls not to go on a tangent about lesbianism in our exams might be the highlight of my day so far
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hanaasbananas · 1 year ago
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people who leave 5 star reviews without saying anything are so interesting to me
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jowasfounddead · 2 years ago
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I saw a Grammarly ad today and got inspired lol
pov: one, two Grammarly is coming for you
You hear Grammarly in the distance, their long nails scraping across the walls of the hall. You're trying hard not to hyperventilate. Hand flies over your mouth in horror when your childhood lamp falls, then shatters. The lamp was made by your late-great grandmother in 1939. She was a film writer with a side hobby of making pottery. You look at the ceiling, Sorry, Grandma, you inwardly apologize to yourself, and everyone you've ever wronged too. This is what it feels like when your life flashes before your eyes. The scraping stops, you inhale sharply. This is it, this is how I die, is the only thing you find yourself thinking. A soft knock follows shortly after the scraping stops, You imagine their tall pale head snapping towards your door, fingers clawing at it. Surprisingly there is no clawing, just a gentle knock. You check to make sure the door is locked, firmly. You whip out your phone, then put it away again. No use in calling the police now, it's already over for you. You know your family is next. A soft hum can be heard from outside your bedroom, then a loud slam. You peer out from your hiding place. A long, white hand with lengthy nails has broken through your door. There is a hole in the door, right above the silver handle. You retract your body back immediately, but you know it's no use. They will get you eventually. You are eternally doomed. As you expected, they sniff you out. The last thing you see is that haunting pale hand. The last thing you smell is fear. The last thing you touch is the fine brown carpet of your childhood bedroom. The last thing you taste is your bloody lip, which you damaged earlier in the frantic escape. You will never escape again. The last thing you hear is this quiet, almost angelic serenade, "Writing isn't easy. That's why Grammarly can help. This sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy, and hard to read. It undermines the writer's message and the word choice is bland. Grammarly's cutting edge technology helps you craft compelling, understandable writing that makes an impact on your reader. Much better. Are you ready to give it a try...?"
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watercolor-rainclouds · 2 years ago
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ah yes, tma entities. the hogwarts houses of the horror podcast genre
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grilledkatniss · 10 months ago
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Why are you threatened by a woman not smiling
she was having none of it and good for her
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teaboot · 1 month ago
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Wait you had autism and still got along with the other kids and knew what was going on with them?? I was never able to do that! I still chose to do my own thing but would have been unable to answer those questions.
I mean I didn't really WANNA make friends for a super long time so it didn't really matter? And if anyone was outright mean I don't think I noticed till like 6th grade.
After 6th a few other kids liked to throw or kick things at my face or steal my art supplies or give me mean nicknames- I remember almost all the boys in my class one year started a thing where if I got within 4 feet of them they'd yell "[tea] GERMS!" and make a dramatic mad-dash escape, and that was kinda hurtful, but IDK how long that was a thing??
Anyhow I started asking them if they had a crush on me or if they were just stupid, and when they asked what I meant I'd just be like "well there's two reasons boys act stupid around girls. Either you have a crush on me, or you're just always this stupid"
And that invariably led to them yelling "I'm stupid, I'm stupid!" or telling me, "I'd rather say I'm stupid than say I like you!"
Which might have been hurtful if I wasn't growing into a mild superiority complex that assured me I was smarter than them, and nicer than them, and there was really no need to desire the approval of stupid, mean people.
(This was, of course, backed up by the fact that my father was one of those mean, stupid sorts of people, and I fully beleived if I could handle him, I could handle anyone my size, and so what if you dont like me? My own dad doesnt like me, am i supposed to value your opinion?)
Then by highschool I got hot, and if one of them started chatting me up I'd just be like "You wrote in my yearbook in 2002 that I was a huge loser. Why would I want to hang out with you"
And by THEN I'd met enough genuinely fun, interesting people who actually liked me that I was never around anyone who openly disliked me anyways.
Not until I started to realize I wasn't 100% a girl and cut my hair off- Then I started hearing other girls whispering to each other that I looked like a lesbian- gasp- which, again, was actually pretty funny, 'cause then I'd just tell them not to get their hopes up 'cause I wasn't available.
Then I graduated, and moved, and it turns out I'm actually kind of hot funny smart and successful, and whenever I fall into the deep deep pit of dumb ugly stupid imposter-syndrome, I remember that as mean as other kids were sometimes, their parents thought I was the best.
So anyways get fucked Gabe from ninth grade, your mom used to give me candy and bail me out of detention. I had the biggest fucking crush on your mom dude
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amoeganism · 3 months ago
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PROJECT PARTER HCS (he wants you so bad) haikyuu
ft: aran, kita, atsumu, osamu, suna
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ATSUMU:
HES TRYING!!! but is it successful? (no)
literally cannot shut up the entire time you two meet up but it's ok because he's funny
"hey you wanna see pictures of my teammates" "yeah sure" he pulls out a blurry .5 of suna's nostrils
offers you protein bars and osamus leftovers as snacks
compliments you on literally everything
you wrote two words? he starts cheering and clapping his hands like you're shakespeare presenting a new play
loves pretending to be your strict teacher whenever commenting on your work
makes up for his lack of preparation by making you laugh and flustered
"i think you can add a little more to this part" "you look so sexy calling me dumb"
if you two meet up at a cafe he ALWAYS!!! pays for you
started off as a mistake because he asked you for your order in front of the barista
but he thought for a moment and decided you're worth an extra $5 out of his wallet
always loses his pencils but has dozens of erasers?????
SWEARS by wooden pencils. he sees a mechanical pencil and jumps 5 feet into the air and starts screaming
last few days of the project he looks constipated every time you two are together
"do you need a diaper" "I WANT YOU"
you accept his confession because you unfortunately like him back and because you want a good grade
also because you don't want him pooping his pants
ARAN:
the sweetest!!
always asks how you're doing before pulling out his notes
digital note taker 100%
loves loves loves writing with erasable pen and only uses pencils for exams
is a "let's work on everything together" kinds guy
he says it's to make sure there aren't any disagreements in content and aesthetic (he just wants to talk to you)
if you guys aren't at your house, always offers to walk you back!!!
great academically but if you're making a poster or slideshow do NOT let him decorate it... pls watch out
"does this look good!" "i'm gonna hold your hand when i tell you this..." "omg you want to hold my hand 😍"
starts giggling to himself in his head whenever you guys accidentally touch
you catch him staring at you one day and you don't know what to say so you just stare back
he thinks its so romantic
you're just confused but go along with it
after presentations you think you guys are gonna go back to being friendly classmates but he finds you after class and asks you out :)
KITA:
ACADEMIC WEAPON TEACHERS FAV EVERYONE LOVES HIM
"do you want to read my notes?" he pulls out 5 notebooks with everything color coordinated, sticky tabs, perfect handwriting, and factually correct
he can sit and work for 5 hours straight and still somehow have perfect posture
first time you asked him for help on something you were about to piss yourself because you thought he would call you stupid and send you to hell
he gave you a small smile and started walking you through it with an unmatched level of patience
that was the moment you folded and had to physically restrain yourself from grabbing his cheeks and kissing his face
always offers you tea when you come over and brings out a small tray of snacks
"are you comfortable? do you need any help?"
is suuuuper meticulous but kind with his 739273 different corrections
he swears by the sandwich method of compliment-critique-compliment
"your analysis is amazing in this section but i think you can expand a little bit after because..."
you're the one who confessed first because you thought you would explode from cuteness aggression if you didn't
and also because you thought even if he did reject you, he'd do it in the most painless way
was super happy and bursted into a bright red face but shy smile!!
still told you to go back to the assignment though...
SUNA:
menace i hate him (no i don't)
literally doesn't understand anything that's going on and probably doesn't process what you're saying at first
realizes you're serious about this assignment and forces himself to lock in
asks a BUNCH of questions and jots them down on a google doc
loves to make random conversation when you two are working
actually insane gossiper
nosiest birch you know
allergic to minding his own business that mf has shit on everyone
are you slightly scared of what he has on you? yes. do you still want to hear everything he knows? yes
"i'm taking this info from page 175 of the textbook" "got it, but did you hear that kato is trying to get with his exs best friend??"
leaves notes on your project that are both unserious and encouraging
"omg u are literally einstein"
folds origami when bored
will give you paper cranes, frogs, foxes, and cats whenever you see each other
you discovered that there's small doodles in the posts it's he uses to make them
one day there's your name and his surrounded by hearts like the corny mf he is
confronted him and it and he was just like "oh you found that? well, do you want to go out with me?"
he was NOT SLICK with the way he skipped home and whistled to himself that day after you said yes
OSAMU:
HES TRYING HIS BEST!!! (pt. 2)
can only meet up after school because of volleyball so he offers to cook for you before starting to work
takes notes in class but doesn't understand half the stuff he jots down
writes actual bullshit but half a page in decides to abandon his pride and ask you for help
leans in a little too close whenever listening to what you're saying
tries to make sure your knees are touching and that it's all an accident when your fingers brush (he prepared each scenario in his head before sleeping the night before)
down bad LOSER
spends his time doing his portion of the project while sneaking glances at you
doesn't know how to decorate presentations for the life of him so he is on doodle duty
gives surprisingly good suggestions and takes your corrections to heart
one of the best project partners because of how willing he is to learn and contribute!!! (also because he wants to impress you)
talks shit about his brother to you
atsumu has walked in while osamu was telling you an embarrassing story
they start fighting
osamu gets super embarrassed when you laugh at him
then gets overly confident when you tell him you were rooting for him
will not stop dumb smiling whenever he sees you after that
asks you out after the project is turned in with his hands in his pockets with how they're shaking so much
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submarinerwrites · 2 years ago
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from litanies
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ruminativevagrant · 2 months ago
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An assortment of facts about Adam Lanza
Adam's low self image issues began showing during elementary school. he would write the words "loser" and "ugly" on his hands, believed that "everyone else in the world deserved more than he did”, and would hit himself as punishment when he thought he made a mistake. He would sometimes come home with bruises that he would refuse to explain, and Nancy almost sued SHES because she thought he was being beaten by other students.
One of Adam's middle school creative writing assignments got rejected for depicting violence, and he was made to write a poem instead. this poem was apparently so beautiful that it made his father cry.
Adam wanted to be a hamster for halloween as a kid, but they couldn't find hamster costumes, so nancy made one for him.
Ryan remembers Adam being a lot closer with his father as a child. Adam and Peter would routinely spend hours playing with legos in the basement, making up stories and games.
Adam developed an interest in political and economic theory early on and used to be very talkative about these subjects, as Peter recalls: "man, that kid, you couldn't shut him up!"
When Adam was sixteen, he made a meme of Karl Marx (huge beard), Lenin (small beard), Stalin (mustache), and Mao (clean-shaven), with the caption, “Comrades, we must rectify the faltering facial hair standards.” and Peter thought it was so funny that he got T-shirts made of it.
Adam carried a black briefcase instead of a backpack in high school. To avoid other people in the halls he would either turn to walk in the opposite direction, or press up against the wall and clutch his briefcase to himself "like an 8 year old who refuses to give up his teddy bear". He was described by his highschool advisor as "a very scared young boy" and by classmates as being quiet but extremely intelligent, "he was the smartest person I knew, he was probably a genius"
Adam would constantly express his anxiety to his mother, that he felt frightened and unsafe both in public and at home. Nancy told psychiatrists that his fear was so severe that it physically paralyzed him. When being interviewed by psychiatric professionals, Adam sweat through his shirt and was holding back tears throughout the sessions.
One time Peter had mentioned to Nancy that Adam had stopped to tie his shoes when they had been hiking, and Nancy expressed surprise and bewilderment to this.
Adam would have panic attacks in middle school that were so severe that he had to be sent home. In high school these were replaced with "crises" he would have in class, where he would be overwhelmed with hopelessness, give up whatever he was doing and "shut down".
Adam's teacher were advised to keep an eye on him because he "couldn't feel pain", as Nancy had informed them that he might not stop doing something even if it's hurting him.
Peter recalls that as Adam entered his teenage years he would often state how much he missed being a little kid.
Adam routinely checked and compared weather conditions across the country, he wanted to live in Washington because it was the most overcast state and Nancy entertained the idea of them moving to seattle together.
After Adam stopped talking to Peter in 2010, whenever Nancy brought the topic of his father up to Adam he would begin crying profusely and withdraw.
Adam once told a friend that he was "bulky" when he was a child, and that he had fat cheeks, comparing himself to a hamster with its cheeks stuffed.
Adam would sometimes play ddr for up to 10 hours straight, where he would enter what was described as a "trance". Workers at the Danbury theater recall him being unresponsive at closing time, and they would have to unplug the machine in order to get him to stop.
Adam identified as asexual but denounced the label towards the end of his life, claiming to be confused about his sexuality. On a university application form asking for a gender marker, Adam wrote "I choose not to answer".
Adam wanted to own not only hamsters, but also mice. He specifically wanted a brown deer mouse and a white fancy mouse. He would routinely watch youtube videos pertaining to rodents and rodent care, and would give advice in the comments.
One of Adam's top favorite movies was Willard, a movie about an isolated young man who lives in a large house with his mother and befriend rats. In this movie his mother dies in her bed, and the story culminated with him using the rats to enact revenge on an authoritative boss, killing him. Adam also owned a copy of the book that the movie is based on.
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