#and with how simple i made it for myself
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Day 1 Screenshot Redraw
With Uncle Samsonite :]
[screen shot and prompt list below]
#ickyarts#art#uncle samsonite#smiling sam#cringtober#cringetober2024#cringetober day 1#this was very fun to do#and with how simple i made it for myself#i didnt blow my wrist out :]#digital art#$5 and i'll draw him again /j
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"She's Gone"
This bad boy was started on the third of November, and finished on the seventh. In total, there are thirty panels (all of which were drawn separately).
A good chunk of N's dialogue near the end came to me after I did some improv to figure out what he should say. I have since dubbed it "N's Failure Monologue."
#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones tessa#murder drones uzi#tessa james elliott#serial designation n#uzi doorman#the absolutesolver#BOY let me tell ya there was some movie magic pulled in areas#even though i told myself to keep it simple... despite knowing how well that worked when i made crash test#ah well. i go overboard so you guys can enjoy the end result#and hopefully not dock off points for my inability to draw characters holding swords. i tried SO HARD#ALSO JUST SAW THE BEGINNING OF THE END TEASER THING BEFORE POSTING THIS#OH MY GOD MY HEART IS DOING THINGS TO ME AND I'M NOT SURE THIS IS HELPING#YES THAT IS THE ONLY TEASER I WILL EVER WATCH BECAUSE IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE ANYWAY (it’s in glitchx 2023)#solveruzi au#zeisty’s heavy hitters#zeisty’s comic stuff
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The fact that I can wholeheartedly enjoy ofmd and good omens and appreciate the angst because I KNOW there will be a happy ending.
See, I’ve never had that. None of us queer folks have ever had that.
#it’s boggling my mind#how a thing that is so simple is so groundbreaking#do you realise how fucking starved for content we have been#AND ON TOP OF THAT WITH MIDDLE AGED COUPLES!!!!!#maybe we can live past thirty and be happy#oh no I made myself cry#also I know that technically we don’t have the certainty that ofmd will have a happy ending but like#it’s a bunch of queer people put into the same room if the flag actually ends up meaning death again I will burn something#our flag means death#ofmd#good omens#good omens 2
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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Barnaby from last stream! he's. Yeah <3
#the guy the dude the him! The Most Dog Ever can i get a yeehaw and a hawyee#i swear i will crochet that barnaby head#i know how to do it.... it can be done...#i need his head on my Shelf. or like#idk mounted on a wall plaque or somethin#that would be more realistic. i dont have much shelf space left!#too many books! too many trinkets! too many delightful misc. items!#but still. it would be nice to have him Nearby#part of him at least!#he can join the little home i havent made yet for the wally plush#scribble salad#barnaby b beagle#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#please excuse the hearts i simple Could Not help myself#he is - as wally would say - the most!#I Think I Made His Tie Too Small. Fuck#i mean uh um. little tie for a little guy!
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"See you tomorrow"
MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]
#better drawn mdzs#MDZS Disco Elysium AU#mdzs au#Lan wangji#wei wuxian#yiling laozu#Happy Belated Halloween!#digital art#Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone.#I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen.#Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture.#Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now#Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen.#The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers.#My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene.#The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined.#It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change -#You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time#You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts-#You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember.#WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.
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woah...goign to think abotuthis for years
#cat#cat drawinf#cat drawing#cat art#art#so. i played dead plate.#ITS SO GOOD#dead plate game#dead plate#its rlly simple and short but. godd. i love it so much#the art style is so so so good. to me. and. GRAHHAHAHAHGGGAFGAGHHH#i saw a couple of youtube recs for videos on gameplay of it and i was like aughhh i dont want to watch this#so instead. of course. i played it myself#finished it in like 4 hours (took breaks bc of school. lol.) and. god.#i love how simple it is. GRAHHHHHH ERAGHHH#idk what made me love it so much but. i reallly like it. a lot.#im going to think about it for so long. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#rody lamoree#vincent charbonneau#i was in the last couple of cutscenes and i was reading the dialogue outloud and then i stopped and laughed bc i remembered#<- they were french. lol. HAHAJJDNJFK
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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Hey!! So turns out a video I made between a certain “well beloved but highly sensitive/emotionally reactive T.V” and an “orange haired inkling-turned-human” has managed to sweep my YouTube channel and accumulate 100k VIEWS!! THAT’S A LOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY?? My most widely viewed video EVER to exist in this moment in time?? AAAAA?? Not even mentioning the various comments and staggering increase in subs! It’s so much more then what I expected or even prepared for—might even be the most impactful thing to happen for me this year <3
…aside from graduating high school + the social connections I’ve been fortunate to make lol
BUT THE POINT IS I’d been closely monitoring the YouTube growth through the entirety of October. It’s make me smile like a dork, gawk in astonishment, dance frantically in my room from the energy boosts, and grow courage to stop being so selective/self-conscious with what I wish to share with the world! It’s kept my ambitions going!
I needed to find some way to celebrate the occasion and express my thanks—because I can’t NOT acknowledge this milestone jksjskp. Typically I try to avoid getting tunnel visioned focusing on the metrics/numbers. Mr. Puzzles had already demonstrated how much those things can mess with the minds of creatives. Caring too much about chasing views or placing your artistic value in attention seeking gets damaging. But at same time…it’s hard to deny the sense of pride the 100k achievement has filled me with. I understand that reaching 100k views doesn’t immediately make me any “better” or “worse” then I was before. I’m still just me! It only helps me feel seen by others—and that’s all I really needed. To hear some nice words & receive reminders that my ideas are cared about. So thank you SMG4 fandom for that, seriously thank you.
Please accept this Mr. Puzzle drawing as a way of sharing the happiness around. He’s so entertaining. Love him for simply existing. So glad we can all collectively be super attached to him (and the rest of the SMG4 cast of course). Can’t wait to see more incredible artworks from the fandom :)
Just incase anyone is confused by my vague description over which “animated video” I’m referring to here—hopefully this photo will help clarify lol. It’s this one!! Sorry about not outright stating the title at the start, I got carried away with writing!!
I’ve been in an odd place mentally when thinking about it. Wondering to myself if any of the attention is deserved considering it’s not even fully colored and could be dismissed as “low effort” content (despite taking several days making it). It’s easy to get into a trap of comparing yourself to others and questioning how much of the videos success is based on your skills, sheer algorithm luck, or only because you used popular characters and catered to a specific fandom. And then judging yourself by looking at other peoples videos. I’ve seen several artists post higher quality works then my own but it somehow gets less views. So why did mine succeed when others (who should have gotten just as much attention if not more) didn’t? Sometimes you feel like you’ve unfairly robbed them of that chance to be seen. However I’ve realized that I can’t ever expect views to be consistent—and comparing is pointless. So why worry about it or feel inadequate? I mean it’s pretty common for funny cat videos to go viral, so who am I to question the system lol. “Popular” YouTube videos can range from a passion project which took 7+ artists…to a clip of Toad singing Chandelier or a nonsensical Vine sketch. Anything can happen when it’s the internet! And just-so-happened my video was chosen. I should stay glad about that and get rid of all the overanalyzing. So that’s what I’ve chosen to do :)
#OKAY SO SO SO actually started doodling this once the video was around 98k this morning#it wasn’t even meant to be art specifically designed to celebrate the milestone at first#I just wanted to draw the funky fella who makes me laugh#but as you can see that changed up fast jksjksp#I was under the impression that my video wouldn’t reach near 100k until December UH?? WHAT HAPPENED MY PREDICTION THWARTED??#seems I’ve severally underestimated how long the traction would continue for geez wow uh#people sure do enjoy comedy gotta love ‘em laughs and giggles#I CAN’T BELIEVE WE REACHED IT THO. THAT’S INSANE TO ME—ALL THE SUPPORT AND COMMENTS AND SUBS#thank you SMG4 fandom I would’ve never fathomed the algorithm to carry it so far like this#you wanna know the real kicker?#things would have gone so differently for the channel if I didn’t wrestle with my anxiety & post there#because there was a point during that day where I fullheartedly figured it would cause me to loose subs#I was kinda terrified ngl#this goes to show that you should never hold yourself back from sharing different aspects of your interests#you don’t need to confine yourself to just one thing#or to strive only to make the most high quality videos ever (I put that pressure on myself a bit too much nowadays)#sometimes it’s the simple ideas that manage to charm people#and those who see the effort will stick around to support you. You just need to trust yourself during the process and take that chance :)#EWWWW MUSHY GUSHY SENTIMENTALITY CLOGGING UP THE ATTENTION HERE#whatever happened to keeping the focus on ✨the star✨ who made it all possible to begin with huuuu??#show a bit more gratitude to the charming TV who boosted the viewership in the first place…don’t be so self absorbed with morals lonesome 😒#what is this some sort of My Little Pony episode oh pleaseeeeee 🙄#<- all of that was a simulation of Puzzles interjecting and nagging a bit lol. I’d imagine he’s tried of my nonstop nonsense#….yea the Puzzle brainrot is reaching maximum severities. So there’s high chance I’ll be animating him more down the line :3#stick around to find out!!#hplonesome art
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i dial drunk, i'll die a drunk, i'd die for you
#only friends the series#ofts#oftsedit#ofts ray#my gifs#my edits#mine: only friends#mine: ray#mine: a gif but not A Gif#ofs ray#needed to prove i can still do things to myself#so have this very hasty coloury sorta angsty something#i'm mad about how simple it is but i made a thing ok#cw flashing#i've lost all confidence in everything so i'm not usertagging bc sgdkfjdf#also idk who still cares so#i've not moved on and i shan't#guess this sorta qualifies as raymew??? but fkjgfdsds#if u saw me fuck up the lyrics no u dint <3 fml lmao
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Hiya
I'm a guy. I've always been into being humiliated and stuff like that,,, I really like being condescended, tricked and taken down a peg (despite not being... up many pegs). Recently I've been questioning my gender,,, but I think I'm probably a guy. Genuinely, I think. Despite wanting to be a girl. Maybe, idk. Idek what gender really is, and yeah, the first time I ever learnt to jack off was pretending to be a girl, but hey, that's just something sexual, and if it's tied into the humiliation, which sexually it has been even if- look okay maybe, MAYBE, I'm a massive fucking egg, but I really do genuinely- look. Whatever the case I'm a massive idiot who by all means should be activating the hell out of whatever predator instincts you have, so please, just have fun with some fantasy of what you'd with an idiot like me
"I'm a guy, despite wanting to be a girl" Do you see the contradiction there cutie? Listen try being a girl for a little while, give it a honest shot! For the next week don't entertain the thought you're a guy anymore, because you're not, starting now you're a pretty little girl!
And at the end of next week you can reflect on whether you liked being a girl, if not, no harm done! And if you did, well you can keep being a cutie however long you want!!!
#Everything is made up!#You can do whatever you want forever!#So just do what you think you'd like!#For me at least forcefem is only so fun because of my gender!#And also the “I should be activiating predator instincts” line#really shows a lot about how you see yourself#You do know that a LOT of trans girls like forcefem right?#And a lot of cis guys do too!#So know this:#You're allowed to be whatever gender you want#And you're allowed to like whatever kinky stuff you want#Simple as that#Maybe you're somewhere between girl and boy#Who knows#Only you can decide/figure it out!#(Oh and also the first time I touched myself was to the idea of wearing the dress in Beaty and the Beast... so yk)#anyway good luck cutie!#If you want to talk more about it I'd be happy to help!#.#asks open!#i-like-talking#serious talks
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remember when you hit the brakes too soon! twenty stitches in a hospital room! when you started crying baby I did too! but when the sun came up I was looking at you!
#remember when we couldn’t take the heat#I walked out said I’m setting you free#but the monsters turned out to be! just! trees!#when the sun came up you were looking at me!!!!#oh you were looking at me#😭♥️😭😭😭😭😭#do you ever think about how moments of connection in Taylor songs is so rare#just. that moment when the beloved is looking back AT her —it almost never happens#and when it does she’s so quick to write it down and hold on to it forever#locked in her steel-trap memory#you almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me#I am always thinking about Ann Powers saying that a Taylor song is just Taylor alone with a man creating the world of the Moment#whatever it is#and most of the time it’s profoundly lonely#the thing Taylor does NOT have (I believe) are friendships that go to the core#that are personal and individual —where she is Seen and Loved#and so she’s still looking for it in romance and mostly not finding it 😭#but man there is something so poignant about Taylor writing from and filling in the silences of a space so many women find themselves in#alone with a man who won’t look at them#I have never been there and venture to predict I never will be#but Taylor has lived most of her adult life there#and then the other half doing the work of transcribing it#shakes me to my CORE#anyways to circle back for a second—out of the woods HAS the moment of connection#and it feels as raw and vulnerable and simple as it probably was#like. for a second we really are just in the hospital room with them#when she says—when you started crying baby I did too I can SEE her just standing there#all nearly 6 feet of her probably in her little ski outfit tears streaming down her face!#but it’s still a point of connection because he’s looking back at her in that moment#I have made myself cry
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Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Harvey Dent#ZEX#Blood#Ask to tag#Stepping back even further - I'm sure you can understand needing a little extra time on this#For multiple reasons haha#It took such a while to finish the first one and not just on an editing front! Honestly that didn't take very long at all haha#There's a frame somewhere that's bothering me - I ''animated'' that movement frame-by-frame myself so if it's a bit strange it's my eye#At least it's mostly like what I wanted! Mostly like what I saw in my head! The three overlapping and then drawing back to show the depth#It really was such a strong mental image for me - it's amazing how simultaneous things can be despite being described separately#The dog - Harvey - ZEX - all moving at their own pace! A split second can be so expanded like a slow-mo shot ah#It's honestly a very beautiful medium#Hhhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I so very much wanted him to go out the way he wanted to#Befitting his Admiral status - strong and confident and surrounded by his crew#But by that point he was so tired and ready to rest - it would have been sadder to watch him continue to barely scrape by#Not even killed by his Beauty! Just one good chomp from one big sick dog :'0#The others trying to protect him - they didn't know him just out of whatever empathy they had for their fellow!#Zero was a hero so that kind of character is easy enough haha but even Harvey! Even after ZEX made him uncomfortable with his long looks lol#He was still willing to help in whatever way he was able ;; And it still ended the same#His last word being just ''pain'' hhhwehhh ;;#It is always the saddest-saddest to me to have such an articulate and eloquent witty verbose and silly character reduced to singulars#Something so simple and still so expressive hh </3 ZEX dearest hweh#But loving also means letting go! Death was a release he needed even if it's sad#I'm a real sucker for Meet Me In The Afterlife kind of stories so I may or may not have batted that around as an idea down the line#He has plenty of loved ones that have seen the other side - even from the Institute specifically!!#It's not exactly a happy ending but it's something <3
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it's actually so stupid
#vent in tags sorry about this#like.#fuck im so mad#like being in fandoms for me feels like#im on the floor with everyone playing toys right. having a great time#and everyone has blocks#i look around and everyone is assembling structures with their blocks and its so cool!! this is so fun#but i dont do anything with my blocks. they dont make sense. i can't comprehend how to stack them on top of each other.#and its fine until im reminded that i dont have a tower of blocks#i dont know#like fuck im so fucking mad purely at myself#that i cant analyze media in the way i see people do. that i dont have headcanons. that i dont have ocs as well#its so fucking frustrating#and i know i know i don't have to do any of that and it's okay ! and maybe it will come with time !#but i want that i want to stack my fucking blocks!#and its been like- four years or so of this same shit im so MAD#it doesnt come!!#and yes i have ocs but do i do shit with them?#can i answer a simple question about any one of them?#fuck no#i regularly cry or almost cry about this im so sick of it#um. kouka if youre reading this i dont mind your ask or anything genuinely im happy for interaction hello yay#yeah sorry guys i dont think ive ever made a tumblr ventpost i just got reallyy upset#live kaard reaction
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. not snz
on healing and on fear (tags)
#(typed this up at 3am and scheduling for later) no one needs to read this 🙏#today i went back to the site where i got injured back in may to partake in a sport which i haven't touched at all since the injury#and i think what struck me was the realization that#i don't know if i'll ever be able to stop being scared again :')#for a time climbing was very special to me...#it was one of the only ways i could feel myself improving so tangibly when improvement is usually so difficult to track#i liked seeing myself get better at something 😭 i liked going with friends and puzzling over the same problems... i liked having something#to look forward to after work. and perhaps having something to look forward to sounds simple... but for me it meant so much :')#for the first couple months after the injury i couldn't wait to get back into it#and then one day i woke up and i was just afraid#the fear feels so much more tangible now that i know i am not overreacting... it's awful knowing that in a way i was right to be afraid#i always knew there were risks associated; i have always been cautious#but i had just been starting to learn to be braver 😭#and fuck... today i stood there and looked at the wall and thought. how can i ever not be afraid again?#how can i go back to how things were before? when i loved this? when i could tell myself that - despite the fear - it was meaningful to try#i wanted to come away with the takeaway that i could take things slowly and get back into climbing - maybe precisely because#i remember so keenly how i loved it - but how could it ever be the same?#😭 i know this is just part of growing up but#in some ways i am tired of growing up... :') in some ways i just want that joy as it was then#delete later probably#i suppose i haven't lost anything but typing this made me sob for something i couldn't quite name
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gotta wind a new bobbin
#i learned that on pleather you have to clip the curves BEFORE you sew. much more pleasant experience#im sooo excited for how this is turning out#especially bc i drafted the pattern myself?#ive modified patterns before and made simple garments (skirts#& tank tops and whatnot)#without a pattern#but this is my first nonstretch knitted garment!!#estelcosplays#indara past and present
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