#and its fine until im reminded that i dont have a tower of blocks
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it's actually so stupid
#vent in tags sorry about this#like.#fuck im so mad#like being in fandoms for me feels like#im on the floor with everyone playing toys right. having a great time#and everyone has blocks#i look around and everyone is assembling structures with their blocks and its so cool!! this is so fun#but i dont do anything with my blocks. they dont make sense. i can't comprehend how to stack them on top of each other.#and its fine until im reminded that i dont have a tower of blocks#i dont know#like fuck im so fucking mad purely at myself#that i cant analyze media in the way i see people do. that i dont have headcanons. that i dont have ocs as well#its so fucking frustrating#and i know i know i don't have to do any of that and it's okay ! and maybe it will come with time !#but i want that i want to stack my fucking blocks!#and its been like- four years or so of this same shit im so MAD#it doesnt come!!#and yes i have ocs but do i do shit with them?#can i answer a simple question about any one of them?#fuck no#i regularly cry or almost cry about this im so sick of it#um. kouka if youre reading this i dont mind your ask or anything genuinely im happy for interaction hello yay#yeah sorry guys i dont think ive ever made a tumblr ventpost i just got reallyy upset#live kaard reaction
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im 23 posts to limit and i want to talk about c!crime towering in logsted.
Like i want to be clear like they start towering sort of at the same time. Because in way they both want to be heard. c!Wilbur wants to be heard in his denial about what happened to c!Tommy (right before he realizes) because this is a world in which c!Wilbur doesn't imagine. Because this is a world that challenges his views on c!Dream, and thus himself, and its a world in which he realizes that c!Tommy was not in fact fine without him, even though the exile was not his fault or anything. And c!Tommy here is towering to match him, to be heard because he needs c!Wilbur to understand what happened to him especially since c!Wilbur idolized c!Dream up until when he realizes what the tower meant for c!Tommy's time here.
And you notice the symbolism of c!Wilbur going 1 block higher and c!Tommy's need to match him. Because c!Wilbur goes one block higher when he's scared, when he doesn't think he'll be heard, when he thinks he needs to be above the situation because he feels out of control emotionally because of what I said above (I don't mean to say he is controlling please dont think that i'm clarifying that now because idk how to better articulate this im sorry). And c!Tommy matches his block because he not only wants to be heard but he wants c!Wilbur to view this situation on equal footing. It's why what happens after shows c!Wilbur does not fully get it even though he's upset for c!Tommy, his lying about his plans and doing all of this for him does show he doesnt see them as equals, and still sees himself having to be the leader he didn't ask for, esp for c!Tommy.
it should also be of note c!Tommy does concede on c!Wilbur's block placements eventually. And he says "I don't really want to tower up here if i'm going to be honest with you". And maybe it's because admitting what happened to him here makes him hesitate, or maybe he feels like it reminds him too much of the tower right next to him, or maybe he realizes he won't win being seen on the same height. Either way, he was heard, but maybe only partially, and maybe that's to be said in the symbolism of the block heights.
Feel free to add on/correct/or even disagree tbh i'm still processing and thinking about this moment.
#dsmp#wilbur soot#tommyinnit#meta#THIS IS NOT CRIT I LOVE THESE GUYS !!!!!!#long post#tw suicide mention#tw abuse mention
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Saving Grace - Part 6
Summary: Steve leaves you and your son to go back to Peggy unaware your pregnant.
Your heartbroken and struggling without Steve until Bucky Barnes steps up to help you out. With you and Bucky growing closer everyday will he be your saving Grace?
A/N- This part is really just a filler đź’ś
When i woke up the next morning i was cuddled up against Bucky's chest, he was propped up watching the TV with Harrison curled against his other side, i looked up and smiled instantly.
"Morning"
"Morning doll" he smiled running his hand gently over my head "we're just watching cartoons"
"Funtimes" i chuckled before reluctantly getting up.
"Where you going??"
"I really need to pee and I'm starving" i told him before waddling slightly to the bathroom.
"I'll go down and start breakfast" Bucky called from the other side of the door.
"Thank you, i'll be right down".
Walking into the kitchen Bucky had already set Harrison up at the table with some toast.
"Hey buddy" i kissed the top of Harrisons head as i passed him, i walked over to Bucky who was cooking bacon and gave him a quick kiss.
"Hi" i smiled up at him wrapping my arms around his waist.
"Hi beautiful" He beamed pulling me closer to give me another kiss.
"I could get used to this"
"Me too".
My phone starting vibrating on the table making me groan "who the hell sends messages this early?" I moaned walking over to check it.
"Its 10:15 doll its not that early" Bucky chuckled.
"Its still too early!" I laughed.... a laugh that stopped as soon as i saw who had been texting me. Steve.
Steve: Hey its Steve.
Steve: I think we need to talk.
Y/N: I have nothing to say to you
Steve: I want to see my son Y/N
Y/N: Bit late for that don't you think?
Y/N: He wont know who you are, just stay away.
"Fucking asshole" i muttered throwing the phone down suddenly full of anger.
"Doll? Whats wrong?" Bucky asked looking concerned.
"He wants to see Harrison! Can you believe that??!!" I said pacing in the living room the rage bubbling within.
"Who? Steve?"
"Yeah! I mean Harrison wont even know who he is looking the way he does now!! He made the choice to leave and now.... what? he wants to have a relationship with his son??"
"You don't need to agree to anything.... just try to calm down. Its not good for the baby"
The phone went off again and i snatched it up to read his reply.
Steve: I have rights! Im his father!
Y/N: Fuck you Steve! You gave up any right to call him your son when you decided to leave us for Peggy! LEAVE US ALONE! Thats what your good at right? Im blocking this number don't try to contact us again.
After hitting send i blocked his number and turned off my phone.
Bucky instantly pulled me into his arms and just held me close "i can talk to him if you want me to"
"You don't need to Buck, his still your best friend"
"I haven't spoken to him since that day he left..... Sam's my best friend now, i thought he told you that?" He smirked.
"How much of that conversation did you hear that day?" I laughed shaking my head.
"Enough" he shrugged casually "i can't help it, i have good hearing remember"
"Rightttt".
"So about Steve?....."
"Lets just leave it for now, maybe he'll do us all a favour and drop it".
"I doubt it but okay, i'll follow your lead on this"
"Thanks Buck, are you okay watching Harrison while i go shower?"
"Of course" he kissed me quickly "i'll save you some bacon".
"What would i do without you".
The weeks were flying by, all had been quiet from Steve after i blocked his number. He hadn't tried contacting us through the others and he stayed away from the compound, looks like he finally took the hint!
It was a Friday night and Harrison, Bucky and I were at the Tower for movie night with Sam, Wanda and Clint.
I had just entered my 8 month of pregnancy and felt like the size of a house! Movie night was an excuse for the team helping with Harrison and waiting on me, they didn't think i knew but i had caught on quickly and wasn't about to argue. Halfway through the movie Sam got a call, when he came back in he told us that Ross wanted him and Bucky for a mission.
"Seriously?? Why?" Bucky whined reminding me of Harrison when he would throw a tantrum.
"I don't know Buck they wouldn't say over the phone"
"One minute the guy doesn't want us involved in this stuff and now his calling us in this late on a Friday??"
"Lets just get this over with"
"God damn it" he huffed "i dont want you being alone while im gone..... your getting close to the end now what if something happens?" He turned to me.
"Bucky Ive still got 4 weeks.... at least, its fine. If it makes you feel better i'll stay here with Wanda and Clint until you get back".
"Yeah okay" he nodded "but you'll call me if anything happens?"
"Of course, be careful! Both of you!".
"Of course. Come on then lets get this over with" Bucky got up gave Harrison a kiss on the head and gave me a quick peck on the lips before storming off. I sat wide eyed, surprised that he had kissed me in front of the others.... he did it all the time at home now so i suppose it was just a natural thing for him to do.
"When did that happen?" Clint asked smirking at me, Wanda just sat smiling.
"Erm.... things changed after he came to my doctors appointment with me" i blushed "we're taking it slow though, i want to wait til after i have the baby"
"I called it" Clint said smugly "just saying"
"You called what?"
"You and Bucky of course. Your good for each other, i think its great sweetheart"
"You deserve to be happy Y/N, if Bucky makes you happy thats great" Wanda said taking hold of my hand.
"Thanks guys" i smiled "and he does. He makes me so happy, when I'm with him i almost forget about.... his been my saving grace"
"The man adores you and Harrison"
"I know. His so good with Harrison, watching them together just melts my heart" i admitted with a smile "Harrison loves him so much"
"I don't think Harrison is alone in that" Clint chuckled, i tossed a cushion at him that hit him clean in the side of the face.
"Shut up and watch the movie".
"Wanda!!" I yelled trying to make my way to her room holding a hand against my stomach, she came rushing out of her room and run to my side.
"Y/N whats wrong??"
"I think the baby is coming!"
"But its too early!!"
"I know!!" I cried feeling myself start to panic.
"Okay deep breathes, i'll take you down to Dr Cho...."
"I cant leave Harrison alone, he'll be upset if he wakes up alone...."
"I'll tell Clint to go look after Harrison don't worry" she told me and i watched as a wisp of red floated down the hall way.
"I need to call Bucky...."
"Lets just get you sorted first".
It had been three days since Bucky and Sam left for their mission now and we still had no idea when they would be back. Wanda got me down to medical and located Dr Cho, it was soon confirmed that the baby was coming now! No false alarms this was it!
"But I'm not due yet..." i told her panicking.
"She's strong enough don't worry, shes ready. Wanda are you staying for this?"
"Yes" she nodded quickly taking hold of my hand giving me a smile.
"Can you try and reach Bucky please?"
"I've already tried, theres no answer right now but i left him a message"
"Thank you"
"Okay lets get you set up, it wont be long now".
Taglist: @jennmurawski13 @kenzieam @captainchrisstan @s-t-r-i-k-e-us @lets--be-honest @ms-betsy-fangirl @damnaged-princess @farfromtommy @disneylovingal @lbuck121 @billweasleey
#sebastian stan#bucky barnes#bucky x reader#chris evans#steve rogers#steve x reader#reader insert#winter soldier#captain america#saving grace
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Qi Flows for Her
Chapter Five
Previous Chapter
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC x Bucky Barnes  |  Word Count: 5112 Warnings: Language, angst
Celine made sure she was last onto the jet where she took Bucky’s previous seat in the back, darkened corner, as far away from the others as she could get. She snapped the hair band wrapped around her wrist, using the physical pain to remind herself to breathe. Her hair hung forward, hiding her face. Back to the straight, dark brown of before, she listened as they murmured about the rest of what they found and looked after Peter who had been knocked out for his own good.
God… that had hurt like rejection hadn’t hurt in years.
Hunched over, she leaned her face against the wall, the metal cool against her skin. A tear worked its way down her cheek. She’d known this was going to happen, had been saying so since the beginning. Yet, she’d still chanced to hope this time would be different. This time someone would see her for who she truly was and not react with fear.
Why do I bother to hope? She snapped the elastic at her wrist again.
“Celine…” The whisper of Charles' voice only made her flinch.
“Go away, Charles…”
“Darling, I can feel your pain.”
“Pain you have a part in instigating. Go away, Charles!”
“Celine… please…”
She sighed. “What did you expect? That I’d come here, reveal myself, and everything would be tea and crumpets? Go… the fuck… away!” She gave a mighty push and slammed her shields closed.
Her inner demons were relentless after. The voices of hate and disgust hissed and wailed in her head. The self-loathing caused her to wrap her hands around her middle. She was an abomination. A freak. A thing to be feared and despised. No one wanted her. No one would care if she just walked away.
Disappeared.
Died.
The phone in her pocket vibrated.
She ignored it.
It continued to go off for the next fifteen minutes straight, becoming an annoying vibration against her thigh until she finally dug it free. “What?” she sighed, expecting Charles.
“Little girl, next time you pick the fuckin’ phone up on the first ring!” The snarling voice of Logan had her lip twitching.
“Yes, papa,” she sassed.
“What the fuck happened, Celine?” he demanded.
Sighing, she glanced through her hair at the others speaking quietly away from her. “Can’t, Logan. Not now.”
“You’re on the plane?”
“Yeah.”
“Did they hurt you?” he snarled.
“No.”
“Not physically, you mean. Dammit, Charles! I told you sending her was a bad idea!”
It almost made her smile. The Wolverine was highly protective of those he called family. “I’m a big girl, Logan,” she murmured. “I tie my own shoes and everything. I’ll be fine.”
He huffed a dismissive bark of sound. “You ain’t fine! I can tell you ain’t fine! Do I need to come kick around a few super soldiers again? Cause I fuckin’ will!”
“The way I heard it, it sounded like a draw, though Steve said you’re a heavy son of a gun.”
“He’s one to talk,” Logan grumbled.
Leaning her head back against the wall, Celine smiled slightly. “Put up a bit of a fight, did he?”
He snorted. “Decent enough.”
“Good. You were getting full of yourself again.”
“Tricky little witch,” he scoffed. Silence descended for a few seconds before he murmured, “Celine… you can come home. I can replace you if you want.”
She wiped the tear from her cheek. “Nope. Charles sent me. I’m staying until they kick me out.” No matter how much it hurt.
“Look, if you’re doing this to punish Charles cause you’re pissed, then don’t. He’s already hurt you shut him out.”
This time she snorted. “He deserved it.”
“Yeah, probably,” he chuckled. “Take care of yourself, darlin’. And if you need me?”
“I’ll let you know, Logan. Tell Rogue I miss her.”
He grunted just before the line going dead.
She stuffed the phone back in her pocket and returned to her silent reflection, feeling only slightly better.
When the jet landed what felt like hours later, she was down the ramp and into the tower as if the hounds of hell were nipping her heels. To her mind, it wasn't far from the truth.
***
Steve and Bucky watched her go, neither knowing how to fix what they’d wrought.
Peter was alright, the bullet nothing more than a flesh wound, but the way the boy had reacted to her… they’d quite literally watched her heart break.
She was far more powerful than they’d realized. So much so, she’d plucked a soldier off the mountain and ate him before throwing something, likely his soul, into... hell? The underworld? Somewhere else? They had no idea.
Were they a little disconcerted? Sure. Who wouldn’t the hell be? But were they scared of her? No. The shock had kept them mute though, something they now realized had done a lot of harm.
She’d sat, huddled and silent in the corner, gradually curling in on herself, getting smaller with each passing moment until her phone had rung.
Steve had been about to go over and force her to answer when she’d finally dug it free on her own.
The irate voice of Logan was one he’d never forget, and he’d exchanged an eye roll with Bucky. He was a gruff son of a gun, but intensely loyal and protective, especially of Charles. Clearly, that protection extended to Celine.
Logan’s accusation, the comment about hurting her, had caused both of them to stiffen in offence. Her denial and his rewording had jabbed them both firmly with guilt.
Logan was right. They hadn’t hurt her physically. Emotionally? In her heart?
Yes.
“Shit,” Steve hissed softly once the others had exited.
“More like fuck, punk. We screwed up.” Bucky sighed, making his way toward Celine’s seat where he crouched down and swiped his fingers through the dark droplets on the floor. “She’s been bleeding.”
“What?” Steve jolted, coming quickly to Buck’s side.
“Yeah. We should check on her.”
“Pretty sure she doesn’t want to see us, pal.”
“So? We fucked up. We should fix it before it gets worse.” Bucky got to his feet and headed for the doors.
They walked in silence, both feeling intensely guilty.
She'd done some incredible things tonight, but they hadn’t told her so. Had her force been a little excessive? Sure, but seeing Peter take a bullet had Steve longing to hit the asshole sniper with his shield, so he understood how upset Celine must have been.
When Natasha stepped into the corridor, blocking them from getting on the elevator, Â Steve heard Bucky sigh and tried not to echo it.
“Need something, Nat?” Steve asked.
“I hope you get it now. You'll send her on her way?”
Steve frowned and shook his head. “Why? Celine’s part of this team.”
“Really!” she snapped. “After seeing what she did? What she is?”
“What I saw was a powerful woman who was treated like a freak tonight by her own team. Me included. She's still a person. Still Celine. Her powers don't make her anything different.”
“Shit! You've got a hard-on for her too! I knew Barnes was balls deep, but I expected better of you, Cap.”
Bucky’s hand wrapped around her throat and slammed her into the wall. “You're pushing the line, Natalia,” he snarled softly. “Celine may be Styx, she may be ridiculously powerful, but she's bruised, broken, and your snide comments aren't doing anyone any good!”
“She’ll destroy this team!”
“You said the same thing of me when Steve brought me in. The ghost. The Winter Soldier. The HYDRA weapon. Fuck you, Nat! She's no different!”
She blinked at him, stunned. “She's completely different! Did you not watch her kill a man tonight by eating his life force? Was that simply my imagination?”
“And I kill people with a gun or a knife. So what?”
“You're not about to take us all out in our sleep!”
“But I could if I wanted to!” he roared. “So could you, goddamnit, but you don't see any of us trying to shove you out the door!”
Laying a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, Steve urged his friend to let Natasha go. Once he had, Steve rounded on her himself. “You've taken issue with Celine since the moment she arrived. What's the beef, Nat? What's the real problem here?”
“This is the real issue! You're both so blinded by the hot new piece of ass; you can't see the danger she presents.”
“And me, Natasha? Am I also blinded by a hot piece of ass?” Wanda asked, appearing behind them. She looked at him, and Steve felt a clutch around his heart. The red wash of power in her eyes showed how disconcerted she was feeling. “But then, I am also one to be feared, to be treated like a freak. To be caged and collared because of what I am. What Hydra made me.”
“Wanda, no… I…” Natasha shook her head. “You're different.”
“How?” she asked coming closer. “I use similar powers. I can kill nearly as easily. You also locked me up to keep me away from people because I was a danger to society. Because you didn't trust me. Celine has shown me nothing but kindness after I have proved myself untrustworthy three times,” her voice rasped with self-hatred. “I keep telling myself, I cannot control other people's fear, only my own. Tonight… I failed at both.”
She walked away, and Steve's heart cracked. It appeared many of them were regretting what happened tonight.
“Celine is part of this team. She stays part of this team,” Steve said with finality.
“Fine. But my working with her comes as a last resort. I don't trust her to have my back.” Nat spun and headed away from where Wanda had gone.
Bucky waited only until she was out of earshot before muttering, “I'm not sure I trust you'll have hers.”
“Buck,” Steve sighed.
“I ain't ever seen her like this, Steve. She's been confrontational and just…”
“Nasty,” Sam muttered, wandering down the hall. “I'll go talk to her.”
“You alright with what happened tonight?” Steve asked.
“Alright?” He took a deep breath, eyes widening as he shrugged. “Not sure I’d say alright. Am I gonna throw a hissy fit? Nah. I kinda think Scott’s got the right idea. Better with us than against us.” He patted Steve's shoulder. “Am I gonna think twice about pissing her off? Hell yeah!” Chuckling, Sam continued on after Natasha.
“That's four,” Bucky murmured, a smirk twitching his lip. “Let's go poke the bear, see if she'll forgive us.”
“I think you mean the dragon. Damn that was cool,” Steve grinned.
“Now you sound like Parker.” Bucky’s face fell as they got on the elevator. “You think the kid will come round?”
Steve sighed. “Hope so.”
She’d been so happy spending time with Peter. Having the kid look at her in fear had just killed her.
When they stepped off the elevator, they had the answer hit them full force.
“Celine! Please!” Peter was standing outside her room, one hand pressed to his ribs, the other banging on her door. “I'm sorry! Let me explain!”
“Peter? Shouldn't you be in the med wing?” Steve asked sternly.
The kid shook his head. “Not until I apologize. Not until I tell her how sorry…” Pain took his breath, not all of it physical.
“Okay, kid.” Taking Peter by the elbow, Steve held him up. “How long you been here?” he asked.
Seeing as how the kid was still in his suit, he doubted Parker had even been to see Bruce, or if he had, the kid had snuck out.
“A while,” Peter mumbled.
“And she hasn't answered?”
Peter shook his head.
“FRIDAY located Celine.”
“Celine is on the roof. Captain? It appears she's is quite distraught. She is standing on the roof ledge.”
“What?!” Three voices bellowed before all of them scrambled for the elevator. It took them to the glassed-in common room where they barreled out the door to hit the exterior stairs which would take them to the roof.
Steve grabbed Peter's shoulder. “Are you alright to go around? If something goes sideways…” He didn't need to say Peter was the only one capable of catching Celine.
“I'm good, Cap!” Peter turned to go.
Steve dragged him back. “You stay out of sight. Let us talk to her before you do anything; you get me?”
“Yes, sir!” Peter nodded.
“Go.” He gave the kid a small shove and sprinted up the stairs after Bucky. His heart stuttered when she came into view.
Hair blowing back in the wind, balanced on the balls of her feet, she stood, hands relaxed at her sides, staring out over the city.
“Celine?” Bucky called quietly.
“Doll, you want to come down from there?” Steve asked, both of them edging closer.
Her head turned only enough to show them her profile. The tear streaks were impossible to miss. “Not particularly, Captain. I like the view.”
“Sweetheart, we'd really like it if you came down from there,” Bucky muttered, moving slowly forward.
“I am not your sweetheart, Sergeant. I am not your doll, your baby, your darlin’. I am Celine. I am… a vampire. I am Styx. And I am always to be feared.” She turned to walk the narrow edge of the building.
“Celine, please come down.” Steve would beg if he had to.
She paused, looked at him, and sighed. “You believe I do this, walk this ledge because I wish to hurt myself?” A snort of derision escaped her. “I wish to clear my mind, nothing more.” She turned back to face the city, turning her back on them. “I have no wish for company, especially from those who see me as something to be despised.”
Striding forward, Bucky reached for her arm only to have her dance out of his reach. “Celine!”
“What, Sergeant? Are you here to look at me with fear again? Are you going to tell me to leave? Explain how I am too much a freak to be part of the Avengers?” Night seemed to flow into her, swirl around her. It darkened her hair and brightened her eyes. She stepped backward, crouched, and snarled like an angry animal. “Then you tell me now to go, and I will pack my things!”
“No, Celine,” Steve said, holding up his hands. He approached with caution like he would a wounded creature. “Yes, you surprised us with what you did, maybe even spooked us at first, but we're not afraid of you.”
“Yes, you were!” she almost howled. “And after you said…” She shook her head. “I knew you would fear me. Everyone fears me. I should never have hoped for anything different.”
The words were so soft they could barely hear them, but they hit harder than the Hulk.
Bucky walked toward her, hands raised. “Read me, my aura, my emotions. I’m not afraid of you, Celine. Steve’s not afraid. Sam’s not afraid. Peter isn’t afraid. Wanda isn’t afraid. Come down. Talk to us. Let us show you.” He held out his hand.
“No… no, you lie!” She gave a violent shake of her head. “I won't look! I won't! I can't take anymore! Why are you so cruel?”
Peter landed on the ledge a few feet away. “Celine, I am so sorry.”
She whipped to face him, and Bucky lunged.
His arms closed around her, dragged her from the edge and back to the center of the roof. Expecting a struggle, he held her tightly, but she only sagged, eyes wide and staring at Peter.
The curl smoothed from her hair, the colour lightened. Her eyes lost their glow, and her face fell. Instead of struggling, she turned into Bucky, turned away from Peter, as a distressed cry escaped her lips.
“No, no… you were afraid. I made you afraid. You wouldn’t… let me help…” she moaned, clinging to Bucky.
This time it was the devastation on Peter’s face which broke Steve’s heart. “Celine, doll face Peter’s sorry. He, like us, didn’t mean to hurt you. But you were pretty impressive tonight. More than we’d expected. Read us. See for yourself. It's not a joke.”
“Promise,” Bucky murmured and stroked her arm. “No one's gonna be cruel, darlin’. Give us a chance.”
She bit her lip and looked between the two of them. Such pain shadowed her eyes Steve's heart felt like it tore open for her and whatever trauma had forced her to this point, to where she felt the need to wall herself off from everyone.
A moment passed before her amber eyes filled with relief and she sagged against Bucky. “Oh…” the word flew free on a heavy exhale.
“Can you forgive us, baby?” Steve threaded his fingers through her hair, gently pulling her head back so he could see her eyes.
They were wet, as was her face, so he wiped her cheeks dry. A breath shuddered from her, and she gave a slow nod. She looked as shocked, possibly as stunned as he and Bucky had been when she’d thrown a dragon into the sky and plucked a man off the mountain.
“I thought your dragon was incredible, Celine,” Steve said softly.
“And the way you dealt with the guards on the gate, and the people at the warehouse… amazing,” Bucky smiled.
“You were really spectacular, Celine. I'm… sorry I hurt your feelings,” said Peter, coming closer. “You did… kinda startle me, what with you havin’ just, like, eaten a dude. I promise it won't make me spaz out on you next time.”
“Peter,” she whispered, hands tight to her chest.
“Hug?” he asked, holding out the one arm. The other remaining pressed to his wound.
Bucky let her go, but Celine was hesitant to reach out until Parker gave an exasperated sigh and simply dragged her in via a shot of webbing and hugged her.
“You wanna fix me now?” Peter asked. “That is if it's still okay?”
She nodded a small jerk of her head before placing her green glowing fingers on his side.
His eyes widened in surprise when the pain disappeared. “Wow. Celine, you're so awesome!” He laughed as he lifted her off her feet and swung her around.
“Peter!” she squealed in surprise.
Chuckling, he dropped her to her feet and hugged her tight with both arms. “Thanks, doll,” he drawled, bussing her a kiss to the cheek - bold little shit-eating grin on his face - and darted away. “I'll check-in with Bruce. See ya tomorrow!”
She pressed her fingers to her cheek, eyes full of tears, but a smile was twitching her lips. Turning to face them, her smile broke free. “You people are so messed up.”
Bucky grinned while Steve laughed.
“Maybe it's your previous fri-uh-colleagues who were messed up,�� Steve said with a sheepish grin.
“Yeah, darlin’,” Bucky smirked, “You just needed a couple’a old guys and a kid to see you for who you really are.”
“Speak for yourself, pal. I ain't old,” Steve snorted.
“Maybe being in the ice that long just froze your self-preservation brain cells,” Celine quipped.
“Then what's Peter’s excuse?” Bucky asked.
“Young and foolish,” she scoffed. “He doesn't know any better.”
Steve shook his head and held out his hand. “C’mon. You were bleeding on the jet. Let’s see it.”
She arched a brow in wry condemnation. “After the last few days, do you honestly think I cannot fix myself?”
He arched one in return, shook his hand and said, “Just give!” It was a fair imitation of what she’d done the day they’d met, causing Bucky to burst out laughing.
Rolling her eyes, Celine stalked forward to hold her hand out palm up. “There, you see? Perfectly fine.”
Steve frowned as he traced his fingers over her palm. “What did you…” he started to ask when it dawned on him what she’d likely done to herself. “Celine…” Heart hurting, guilt filled him for what she’d gone through, those talons of hers digging into her flesh with her anguish. “I am sorry.”
Her eyes softened. “I know, Steve.”
Bucky collected her opposite hand, sighing quietly as he stared at her unmarked flesh. “I promised you I wouldn’t feel any differently and at the first opportunity to prove it, I fucked it up.”
She gave her own sigh, released their hands, and patted both chests. “You are good men, but you are only human. I am,” she shook her head and turned away, “not.”
Steve went after her, grabbing her by the elbow to drag her back against his chest. “You are as human as the two of us. Powerful you may be, but you’re still human, Celine.”
Her eyes brightened, and her hair curled. “I am not. Human’s do not feed off other humans.”
“Your mutation only makes you different, Celine. It doesn’t make you less human.” Bucky’s hand curled around the back of her neck.
Trapped between the two of them again, Steve couldn’t help but notice the heat she radiated like a furnace. People always commented on how hot he or Bucky ran, but Celine seemed to nearly double their temperature. Cupping her chin, he tilted her face up, so her diamond-bright eyes shone for him to see. “You aren’t a freak. You’re an Avenger. We’re all a little… abnormal.” He couldn’t understand how she could’ve grown up in a place like Xavier’s school and view herself so differently from the other mutants. If anything, it should have been a place she fit into fairly well.
“I believe I’m a lot abnormal, Steve,” she chuckled, the curl of her hair growing more prominent as her eyes drifted down to his lips.
Bucky’s hand went from her nape to her throat, pressing up beneath Steve’s to tilt her head back onto his shoulder. “You ain’t the one with the vibranium arm,” he said, smirk growing.
Her eyes watched his lips as well before her tongue darted out, moistening hers.
Steve had never wanted to kiss a woman as badly as he did Celine in that instant. The desire he was trying to contain roared into life.
It sent her eyes darting back to his. They blazed bright, burned into him, filled with distress and sent her jerking away from them both. “Sorry! Sorry. That’s my bad… ha, I should go.” She darted away, down the stairs before either of them could move to stop her.
Groaning, Steve thrust his hand through his hair. “Fuck!”
“No shit,” Bucky muttered, trying to adjust his pants without being overly obvious.
“What the hell keeps happening here?” Steve grumbled.
Sighing, Bucky shook his head. “I don’t know, punk, but…” a wash of red filled his cheeks, “I… kind of like it.”
“What?” he gasped, jerking his head up to look at Bucky.
The metal-armed soldier shrugged. “Feels… good having her between us. I don’t know. She just… fits.”
“Bucky…” Steve shook his head.
“I know, I know. Can’t seduce a recruit,” he huffed. “But Steve, you can’t tell me you don’t feel it. We ain’t talked about it, keep pushin’ it to the side, but we can’t fight what we’re feeling.”
“She won’t even be a friend, Buck. Besides, you just watched her rabbit when she got a hint of something off me. I’m not going to put that pressure on Celine.” Steve stalked toward the stairs. “I don’t even know what the hell is happening! Every time it's just us, you, me, her, it’s….”
“Intense sexual heat?” Bucky chuckled.
“Laugh it up, jackass,” Steve grumbled.
“I’m serious!” he scoffed. Grabbing Steve’s arm, Bucky forced him to stop. “I’m asking this in all seriousness, if she chose me over you, would you be okay with it?”
“Bucky… I… Why are you even going there?”
“It’s a hypothetical, Steve. Just answer the fucking question.”
“I’d have to be, wouldn’t I?”
“But you’d hate it, right?”
Jerking his arm away, Steve snapped, “Yes, damn it! I’d hate it!” and stormed down the stairs.
Bucky simply jumped over the rail to land in front of him. “I’d be the same way!”
Coming to a stop, Steve’s eyes closed in pain. “I know, Buck. I can’t be your rival. I won’t be. I don’t have it in me to go against you, and you know it.”
“Stevie.” Bucky’s hands closed over his shoulders, gripped tight, shook him a little. “You think I could?”
When he looked up, Bucky’s eyes were bright with emotion. The smack which came to Steve’s cheek was anything but light, yet it was full of affection, even as it stung something fierce. Â
“You’re my brother, Steve. I wouldn’t ever do that to you. I love you, pal, and we’ve been through too much hell to fight over a girl, even a dame as amazing as Celine. Whatever comes, we’ll figure it out. Besides, she’s skittish as a baby deer,” he sighed. “Doubt it will go anywhere for either of us.”
Both sighed unhappily and continued inside.
***
A little panicked, Celine made her way back to her room, thankful she avoided seeing anyone else. Riding in the elevator, she allowed herself a small amount of hysterical laughter for, sure enough, she’d found herself sandwiched happily - and hornily - between the two soldiers again. Her nature had taken over thanks to her overactive libido, and she’d drawn them in.
And it had felt… good. Too good.
The spike in Steve’s chi had nearly made her moan and beg for a taste. The Captain was potent!
Bucky, too, though slightly more in control, his arousal had shivered through her. It was subtle, like the nip in the air which preceded a snowstorm but it was still delectable.
So intent was she on the near taste she’d had, something she really should be berating herself for, Celine did not notice the aura waiting in her room until her hand was on the doorknob. Steeling her spine, she slowly pushed her door inward.
The lights were on, the one sitting on her couch doing nothing to hide her presence. Natasha smirked smugly at her.
“I do not remember inviting you to my room,” Celine said cautiously, remaining in the doorway.
“You didn’t. Come in, shut the door, and sit down.”
Brow arching, Celine snorted. “I think I will stay where I am.”
Anger flared in her aura before Natasha smoothed it away. “I think… Adeline, you will want to do what I say.”
The use of her real name was so rare, Celine momentarily froze. Closing the door, she moved toward Natasha, growing angrier by the second. “So, you have found my birth name. What of it?”
Picking up a tablet, Nat read, “Born Adeline Evans to one Tammy Evans, drug addict junky, and alcoholic absentee father, Marcus Evans. Ran away from home at thirteen, wanted for questioning in the death of one Franklin Delacore after he was found dead on the floor of your bedroom.”
She refused to flinch, only sat in an armchair and crossed her legs. There was nothing there. Charles had seen to the reports, the heart attack the man had had was ruled as an accident. Her mother’s drugged up ravings were nothing more than the ramblings of a woman out of her mind.
“Lived on the street, it seems from the age of thirteen until fifteen.” Here Nat looked up. “Wouldn’t it be interesting if the police were informed of the mutant Styx whose MO perfectly fits the two cold cases they have from way back when Adeline was a teenage runaway.”
“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked, without a hint any of what she’d said had been true.
“Oh, I’m not done yet,” she fairly purred. “There’s also the information about poor Thomas and Jacob. Nasty business that. It really would be a travesty if the new team found out what you’d done to your old team. To your friends.”
“What do you want, Natasha?” Celine asked a second time.
“What I want is for you to leave and never come back, but we can’t always get what we want, so how about what I need?”
Tired of these games, Celine snapped, “Just spit it out, Widow!” Hair curling, nails lengthening, she dug her talons into the cushioned arms of her chair.
Natasha stiffened her entire countenance sharpening. “I’ve safeguards in place, Styx, so think twice about hurting me. Anything happens to me here, or on a mission, you're a part of… all this information goes public.” She smiled, a predatory baring of teeth. “It would be a pity if the Professor's involvement in all your messes came to light.”
The cold weight of fear wrapped around Celine’s heart. “Get to the point, Natasha.”
“I see how you look at them you know. Steve and Bucky. They’re too blinded by the pretty girl to see the monster you really are. You're going to stay away from them; you're going to stay away from all my friends. You'll limit your involvement with the team outside of missions.” She got slowly to her feet, triumph and bravado coating her innate fear of what Celine was. “Isolate yourself, Celine, or I'll do it for you. Permanently.” Striding toward the door, Natasha dropped the tablet in Celine’s lap, the faces of Jacob and Thomas staring up at her from the screen.
Celine spoke softly, “Be careful, Widow. What you try so hard to protect… may not take kindly to your methods.”
“You’ll never tell them. You try so hard to be human, fit in, but you're a monster. I know it. You know it. If they knew what you'd done….” Natasha let the words hang as she shut the door and walked away.
Celine stared down at her lap and lightly touched first one and then the other face.
Natasha may have found the information on the boys, she may know some of Charles involvement, she suspected the Widow had likely bugged her room, but Natasha didn't know everything. She couldn't for there were no records of what Celine was beyond the mental knowledge shared by four people.
But the two smiling faces on the tablet in her lap, the one lost and the one…. She couldn't bear to think about it. The pain it caused was simply too great.
She placed her hand flat on the screen and ignored the tears which fell down her face as she cried for things she could never make right, and for the life she might have possibly had here.
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