#and why I think she’s a good partner
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You know what, I woke up to Chalastors screenshotting my edits just to shit on it and Chaggie, so im gonna put them on blast and rant because it pisses me off. Sorry, to those who don’t want to see this, but im tired.
If you cannot talk about your ship, without constantly bringing down another ship, then maybe it’s just not a good ship idk! And im sorry, but you cannot claim Vaggie is toxic or bad for Charlie, when you ship her with someone who does not make her feel comfortable, with someone who just uses her, with someone who has never once cared for her unless it was for his own good. Vaggie has done NOTHING wrong to Charlie, she does her best to be the best girlfriend she can be, she fights for her, risked her life for her, the way some people talk about her or their relationship is honestly reaching homophobic levels, then they wonder why people don’t like their ship. It’s infuriating. These two aren’t even the only people who talk poorly about them. Some people have even said it’s disgusting that they are getting a sexy song/scene in season two, yet yell still retweet so much 18+ fan art of their ship. 🙄
I don’t like ranting about other ships, and I was gonna ignore their comments, but they had to bring up MY collage to talk shit about them and Chaggie, so yeah, this pisses me off. And then someone else said I only like them for a “little representation”, like… acting like their mlw ship is anything interesting, when it’s just manipulator x victim. 😭 im not gonna always talk poorly about them, but god Chaggie haters piss me off soooo bad, I wanna scream.
#i hate chaggie haters#charlie morningstar#Vaggie#Chaggie#please stfu#leave my collages alone#all I did was make a collage about one of my fave characters#and why I think she’s a good partner#and they react with homophobia#im tired#anti charlastor#and I know I’ll get nasty comments#but I’ve tried to be civil#and only post about my ship#but my edit was brought into it#so im ranting#and I always talk about the side of the fandom on twitter#so here you go#this is how Chaggie haters on twt are#they are insufferable
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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Bonus 13: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#WWX's main weapon as the Yiling patriarch is considered to be 'Wen Ning' - which makes sense as far as the whole necromancer thing goes.#However...That *is* Wen Qing's beloved baby brother!#In her perspective WWX skipped town for a few days (or so) and took WN with him#only for them both to show up bloodied and in a state of disarray.#There's no way he told her he was going out to duel Jiang Cheng. For several reasons.#He doesn't want to involve her in his messes anymore than he already has.#It's less that she would try and stop him and more so that he honestly wouldn't even think to say something about it to her.#WQ and him aren't partners in this situation. He actually openly disregards her opinions several times.#Wei Wuxian's emotional distance from everyone around him is a big part of this arc.#Like all good tragedies...his biggest flaw is his hubris. He doesn't *need* anyone when he's so capable on his own.#He doesn't need to ask permission when obviously this is the only way forwards.#He has to do it all on his own! No one else needs to be involved!#And if you've been in the position of realizing you have a problem of toxic self-reliance - you know how harmful this mindset is.#It's why it's so satisfying to see WWX in his 'new' life start to let other's share his burdens.#I will die on the hill of 'love means carrying each other's weight. All a burden means is that I can give you support and you support me.'#YLLZ is less 'competent and sexy' and more 'depressed and can't see it'.#Another lovely nod to the main theme here is how he starts leaning more and more into the rumours about him.#Though we are also still confronted with how these rumours fail to actually live up to reality.#Rumour has it the Yiling Patriarch is undefeatable. What a shame if that rumour turned out to be untrue!
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#bandillow#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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For Mariner to be happy and fulfilled she needs a stable group of friends, a good relationship with her mom, a settled and supportive work/living situation, and plenty of time to process her war trauma. Meanwhile all Ransom needs to be happy and fulfilled is a bunch of stairs and some decon slime, so all that's to say that opposites attract, and they're actually perfect for each other.
#lower decks#beckett mariner#star trek#jack ransom#Mariner x Ransom#Marisom#star trek lower decks#st lwd s5 spoilers#like Mariner and Boimler are very sweet together#but at the end of the day I do think there's a point where they both become nitpicky and anxious and would just spin each other up#where is Ransom is truly no thoughts head empty#which Mariner claims to find annoying#but all evidence points to the fact that Jacks very simplistic approach to life makes Mariner chill out and gain new perspective#like for Ransom life is Truly Not That Complicated#he doesn't have the smarts to play mind games#he couldn't be passive aggressive if he tried#even when he's being a shitty commander and putting people in danger#he does it with truly innocent good intentions#and that's part of why he's able to effectively mentor Mariner#and also why I think they would make good partners/ why Ransom should date Mariner & Boimler#She needs Brad for intellectual conversation#but she needs Jack because sometimes you just need a guy whos gonna go#“Hey are you gonna keep yelling tell we get there because I'm actually very exited for decon gel”#the perspective shift is important
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I know we collectively agree that Hiccup isn’t romantically inclined, and his getting married and having kids didn’t make sense in the epilogue, but consider: Hiccup getting married for political reasons.
It’s a marriage of alliance, which is recognized both by him and his partner, and they enter it without expectations of romantic involvement. Since they’re now married, they live in the same castle, spend time together, and Hiccup finds he really likes his spouse. They’re funny, get along with his friends, and has the same interests and values. They both probably speak multiple languages. She understands why Hiccup is so dedicated to making the Wilderwest better, and holds similar views. She’s a good politician (her job after all, was to be an ambassador). Hiccup likes spending time with them, and the feeling is mutual. They’re not in love, they have their own lives, but they’re dedicated to each other and eventually decide to raise children. They teach their kids how to train hawks and hunt with dragons, riding, history, the Languages, and all the necessary skills of their world. They’re not in love and they’re happy together.
#pushing the aromantic hiccup agenda and also the queerplatonic agenda#as much as the idea of hiccup getting married was always a little off to me it was more the romantic angle#which I why I like the idea of a marriage of alliance and a partner who understands that#and then of course the montage of them being a good team and getting along#and going ‘yeah I like this person. I think this is the person I want to spend my life with.’#also a) a lot of arranged political marriages did have the foreign spouse function as an ambassador#b) polyglot hiccup is canon and I think it would be neat if his spouse was as well. it is a marriage alliance after all.#she isn’t from the small area of berm#(actually give all the Vikings regional accents. I think it’s neat)#c) she/they because I didn’t feel firmly about the partner’s gender and the nords were pretty gender diverse#anyway I think the partner would probably be fond of the library and admire hiccup got it open way back when#get along with Fishlegs and camicazi well enough#and enjoy dramatic stories of their adventures. maybe have some of her own#also: normalize people having their own lives outside their partners. hiccup and they are happy together but also have their own friends#oh and you know hiccup would be a great dad. he loves Stoick but he would so much be the dad he wished he had growing up#are the kids bio related? are they adopted (cast off and No Names)? who knows!#I could build in my head what hiccup’s spouse is like but I’ll leave it here#they exist as we construct them#httyd#httyd books#my post#book!hiccup#hiccup the third#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#book hiccup
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All I’m going to say I think now that my brain remembered part of what it was thinking is that Taylor and Joe went through a lot together (good and bad) and regardless of how it ended or what led to it they both seem to be determined to keep that private and not throw each other under the bus and in the end they’re just two very, very different people whose outlooks in the long term were just never going to align and never has that been clearer.
#I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM JUST TO BE CLEAR#I’m just saying… he said a lot of nothing in those quotes beyond ‘people on the internet suck’#which is true#and both he and Taylor are keeping things close to the vest about it all#and just seems to me that whatever they went through together they are determined to keep it between them so that’s the end of that#(again in contrast to how she has no qualms about reading m for filth)#he’s just some guy and now he gets to be just some guy forever#and she gets to be extraordinary#like yes the loving committed thing raises eyebrows given how much pain she was in#but like he could have shaded her about how it ended too and he didn’t#AND I AM NOT DEFENDING HIM#we know he was a terrible partner and she felt like shit#I’m just saying neither of them want to delve into the specifics and i think they’re just moving into footnotes in each other’s lives now#like i want to make it clear AGAIN I am not condoning anything on his part here — clearly there were huge issues#I’m just saying just because he may have sucked as a partner doesn’t mean the internet being cruel isn’t also true idk#and yes it’s transparent why he’s choosing to speak out now (or rather why the Sunday times is choosing to reach out to him now)#but like… idk i just can’t muster up any feeling about this man one way or the other lol#and take cues from Taylor (and even him) she’s determined to keep it between them other than the broad strokes#so I’m following her/their lead#(like I have thoughts about why but that’s not important and ultimately is just… it’s the most normal of ltr breakups)#like he just sounds a little pretentious with his ‘real life’ which like… good on him keep living that real life you do you dude#meanwhile his ex is flourishing with every passing week and milestone and is living her unabashed best life#and they’re probably both happier for it now
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Does anyone else ever think about the "when i met him he was a scared little boy in a jail cell" part of the he's my boy speech. I don't need him he needs me because I am his foundation. He was nothing before he met me. I built him from the ground up and will be damned if anybody gets in the way of his growth. I love the mix of possessiveness and pride throughout that whole speech.
#widobraves we MUST reclaim the “he's my boy” speech#when fandom doesn't see nott as anything but an extension of caleb that's annoying but when she says as much it's weird and hot#you can't use “she's said she's his mom!!!” against me I'll just go “she made him!! 😍😍😍😍”#me when the blorbos consider themselves key aspects to each other's identity 🥳🥳🥳#there is something curious about how she can think so little of herself especially at that time but as caleb's friend and protector she's#like this is what i do and I'm really fucking good at it#nott the brave#caleb widogast#widobrave#do yall remember when he said he saw her as a little sister and a month later told somebody they were a couple#like even then she's someone who would always be a part of him whether in the sense that she's his family or his life partner#do you think about caleb telling veth how she brought him into his own and how she got him to the door and he just needs to walk through it#and how he literally made her fucking body and the spell that allowed for that transformation. veth thanking him again and again for#devoting himself to her#why would i now?#i am all over the place the point is they made each other that's so fucking romantic to me#healthy? depends on how far you take it. romantic? unambiguously so.
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Okay it's little sad but kind of funny how Merlin didn't know his father, Arthur didn't know his mother as in just one parent. Arthur was good with swords, Merlin had magic...
Meanwhile Morgana and Morgause- both Orphans,both had magic and were good with swords, a complete package 😭😭🙏🙏
#We definitely did not need Arthur and Merlin#Just kidding#In all seriousness#Don't think Morgana was as good with swords as fandom likes to portray#Because Arthur worked on his skills#Had tutors to help him#Morgana#Don't think she had that much training#And anyway#Who cares#Arthur was best warrior out there go argue with a wall#But I digress#Morgause was a later addition#Later as in#In my mind later#Anyway#So Merlin and Arthur were completing each other#Morgana didn't need anyone else to complete her#That's why she didn't need any partner#Yes#bbc merlin#bbc arthur#BBC Morgana#Morgana pendragon#arthur pendragon#merlin bbc#Arthur and Merlin#Two sides of same coin#Morgana was like- I don't need an other half#I'm enough for myself
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it confuses me when people say they like willow or xander and then get all uncomfortable and condemning about, like... major parts about them. you don't like that they're wildly possessive of which often leads them to acting irrational and awful...... which is like one of their biggest traits? oh, and you hate that they're not fantastic friends to buffy............. which is also like. how they are. pretty much the entire time we know them. okay!
wow, you find xander to be annoying bc he's a dumb dude who seriously needs to unlearn some ideals and really outta treat his girlfriends nicer. I'm dismayed at his typical guy-ness. bummer, we don't enjoy that willow is like totally abusive when it comes to exerting whatever power can get over people. that sure is a bad thing she does.
I just. I like them BECAUSE of these things idk how the hell you could possibly separate these things from them and still enjoy these characters it boggles my mind
#these are the most common complaints I have seen from people who say they enjoy one of or both of these characters#and it makes me ????#also once again bc I've talked about this before there something SERIOUSLY codependent and unhealthy going on with the core scoobies#NONE of them treat their partners all that great tbh it's just xander gets the most shit for it bc he's ig the most obvious about it#sorry but despite willow's love what she did to tara clearly shows she could've and would've been worse to her if she wanted to#she had the potential for being a worse gf it just didn't manifest until later and tara shut that shit DOWN quick#and even then there are little things like why the hell was tara never properly integrated into the scoobies. a forever outsider#this is my girlfriend willow and her girlfriend tara. that is the dynamic of the scoobs + tara be fr#also ik this is the xander harris hate site and you'll probably see me as being kind here but I genuinely think y'all hate on him too much#he is not that awful? he's not like the best person but oh my god guys this is INSANE how much we hate this guy#I'll admit the narrative does him fucking dirty the way it treats him as so good. but xander himself is such an interesting character imo#anyways. I like both of these characters bc they are not good people to those they care about despite sincerely truly loving them#and that is SO fun to explore and examine#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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i'm aroace, sex repulsed and don't get traditional romance or find the need for it, but I still often think how it would be neat to have a gf/partner for other purposes that arent romance and sexual. but it seems impossible to make someone want to date you if you take out those things????
sometimes I think it would be nice to have a gf to do cute gay cosplay photoshoots with. there would be mouth smooching and you usually can't do that with a friend and I don't really want to either, so a gf would be useful for that.
then there's hating showers because they exhaust me and it would be nice to have a gf to wash my hair and stuff for me??? can't call up a friend to do this every time I need to shower. that won't work and I doubt they'd want to/be comfortable doing that.
most friends will end up putting all their priority into their partner and/or family they create. I want someone that will make me their priority and not run off with someone else they start dating and abandon me??? something like that. their priority is cleaning our home together, hanging out together, going shopping and other domestic/partner stuff. they don't do that with someone else or use me temporarily until they can find a partner. so it's essentially dating/being partners. but it looks different from your typical expected romance and partnership.
doesn't matter how aroace I am, I have accepted that a relationship is beneficial in many ways and there's certain things that you can't expect friends to cover and they can't fill. but I have zero interest in looking for a partner in traditional ways that requires small talk/flirting/dates/etc. so that makes me realize i'll most likely not trick someone into partnering with me lmao
the internet seems to call this kind of thing "queer platonic relationship" (did I remember it right?) and you just need to find another sroace person to do it with. but either way, there's no textbook to study for how to get that and where to find these people. it seems harder than the puzzle that is regular dating tbh.
there's that saying "there's other fish in the sea" but i'm a worm in a puddle the other worms got out before they drowned. there's no fish here lmao. my options are so limited that I haven't met a single option yet in my life. there's barely any chance the first aroace person I meet irl will be compatible, or the first compatible person will accept a relationship with an aroace. you know what I mean? any other aroace that's interested in some kind of relationship/partnership and feel like you don't get that whole sea to choose from like everyone else and only have a dried up puddle? 😅
#lee rambles#asexual#aromantic#aroace#im not desperate and not looking. it's just a passing thought sometimes....#when it would be convenient i think about it. like how convenient it would be to find a canadia partner so i csm move there#and move in with my 2 closest friends#and the cosplay thing. that comes up a lot because i currently have a big interest in doing more cosplay stuff#i know i say i dont get romance and flirting stuff but sometimes when i observe others or see it in media#when someone does flirty things to their partner ans the partner gets flustered like a girl calling her gf cute and she gets shy and blushy#sometimes i want someone i can do that to because it amuses me to see people react that way and i like to be amused and make people react#to things lmao. another good use for a gf/partner#not sure if that means i do have some interest in that stuff or if it doesnt count because my reason for it seems different than usual 😅#ALSO. its so hard for me to tell if i truly want a relationship/partnership or if its because society and people around me make me feel like#i have to?????? amd im making uo excuses for why i would need it or would benefit from it? so that i can fit in or something???#i genuinely dont know which one it is and i hate that. could it be a bit of both? i suppose so....hmmmmm
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It is interesting with Antoinette. I could see it being that Lestat genuinely had affection for her, even if he would certainly have killed her had Louis personally asked him to -- or it could be that she was just familiar, and he wanted the closest thing to intimacy he could get, so someone who knew him was better than someone who didn't. And the whole possibility that she reminded him of Gabrielle in some ways...
(x)
Yeah, I totally agree, anon.
I actually unfortunately suspect that Antoinette isn't a character the show will really come back to, and I think I'm one of three people that cares about that, haha, but where I tend to land on her relationship with Lestat is the fact that neither Lestat nor Louis actually have any friends.
That's not to say that I think Lestat and Antoinette were just friends, I don't, they obviously fucked a lot (which like, also comes down to the fact that Lestat doesn't know how to have friends he doesn't fuck, haha), but I do think the reality is that Lestat and Louis have very different racial and cultural contexts, hobbies and areas of interest which aren't things they can easily share with each other, especially not in early-1900s America, and I think that's a bigger factor in their relationship breakdown than either will admit to.
It's why Louis' able to reconnect with Jonah so quickly - they might be leading different lives, but they have more overlapping factors than they don't, whereas he and Lestat have less than they do - and for Lestat as a white theatre kid, he needs to be around other performers. I think with Antoinette, she's obviously a talented vocalist and an ambitious artist, and I can see that genuinely just being company that Lestat wants to be close with. They probably talk shit about crap theatre they've seen and do vocal runs together and fuck, and honestly for a part of Lestat, that would lowkey be a dream relationship, haha. Do I think they have a deep emotional connection? No, but given even Louis' willing to admit she's talented, and his own complex relationship with not succeeding as an artist, I wonder how much that factors in to his portrayal of her and his insecurities around their relationship (to say nothing of the fact that she's both white and a woman).
This feels like it's going on a hundred tangents, haha, but my point is maybe they'd step out on each other less or descend into unforessen levels of chaos and destruction if they both had a few friends they could talk about their identities and niche interests with!!
#this is not actually related to your ask but i've been thinking a bit about different family make ups lately#and while i was hungover this morning after yoga and getting breakfast with my mum#i told her about how one of our production coordinators at work - let's call her A - had a baby last year with her wife#and they had a very good friend who's gay who became their sperm donor#and he's like#LOVING being fun uncle and A and i were talking about it the other day at work because she was genuinely shocked because he's#been very open about how much he does not want kids of his own and it caused a lot of hesitancy with her and her wife taking him up on offe#but how much he's stepped up#she said he's been amazing#and he's been so helpful and supportive and done so much running around for them when they've been knocked sideways with having a newborn#and he loves being with his little niece who's actually his biological daughter and getting to give her back#and A was like we were close before but now he's my daughter's uncle and now he truly feels like my brother#and A and her partner and him are already talking about having another baby in the next year or so#idk why your ask made me remember this#maybe i was just thinking about it still after talking to mum about it over breakfast#but idk maybe it comes back to this whole idea that queer family units are inherently unconventional in our current structure#and applying conventional tropes to them doesn't work#which again has nothing to do with your ask haha just something i'm thinking about#lestat asks#iwtv asks
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I suppose I really can’t make fun of my straight guy friend or anyone else for liking pretty women because if that woman at the post office had told me to jump off a bridge I would’ve—well, I mean, I wouldn’t have actually jumped off a bridge but like. I would’ve really considered it for a second
#🔭.txt#and don’t even get me started on my group project partner from the spring semester#i saw her smoking outside before class one day while wearing a cool leather jacket#and came just a little closer to understanding that ‘can yuo put that out on me’ tweet#ultimate frisbee is like the lamest sport ever why the hell did i think she was cool doing it. why do i STILL think she’s cool#literally the only reason why i could never hold a grudge against her for slacking in our project was because i thought she was cool#i fear i could probably forgive her for anything#she could kill someone in front of me and i’d probably just go ‘well i’m sure she had a good reason. wow. so cool’#she’s very pretty. i kind of want to be her honestly#she has the sort of face that seems designed for smoking cigarettes on rainy rooftops and holding knives to people’s throats in dark alleys
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a not-zero part of my qualms about transitioning are about societal backlash. which is real and a concern for sure. but also like i'm already kinda experiencing it, it's just all internalized because no one knows i'm trans so they feel perfectly fine saying rancid shit straight to my face. like obviously it would change if i transitioned and become more... well, more. but also it just occurred to me that it was happening already.
#also among my many concerns#another concern was that i would find no one to love me#as my mother has (semi?) threatened me with before#my memory is bad so i can't remember if she said it specifically bc of trans shit or just in general#i think it was just in general actually#anyways. here's the thing tho#it's not like i'm exactly getting any action as fucking is#so like... why am i so concerned#i live like a ascetic dormouse. i'm not finding a partner (if i ever do) any time fucking soon#so like................#anyways so this prompted me to make this post because i was thinking about it and being all down like#'what if no one in this world ever loves me again after i transition ever'#and then i paused and my brain was like 'dude you don't have a partner now to begin with and as it stands have 0 chance of finding one'#and i was like huh. good point#so now i'm back at it again contemplating transitioning#and wanting to cry a little bit but that's just to be expected.........#fingerguns#i need to start a tag for shit i should send to my therapist#but i need something i can remember#for therapist
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severance ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#severance spoilers#<- anyone wanna discuss the latest ep????#bi devon yayyy i hope she gets a divorce and marries me!!!#also i 100% think fields is the doctor we saw. he is evil and the he does not believe in the church story#he lied about that just to convince burt (or if he didnt thats absolute insane behaviour as a partner... like youre going to hell i need a#bf in heaveen??? even ronan didnt do that in trc..#anyway anwyay the 10 vs 20 yrs at lumon. i think that burt was the first severance employee fields is insane mad scientist style and invent#invented the procedure by trying it on his husband#it explains also why fields is the one who told burt to invite irv for dinner#so that the board man tattoo guy could go and look inside the house#+ the whole its as if the priest was listening to our conversation...#the markhelena flirting was insane like actually good for a second i forgot i hate her????#actually wait back to bi devon. she should date reghabi they should kiss next episode maybe#dylan is still breaking my heart :(((( and gretchen too like i want her to be happy#o dylan doesnt seem bad he was good with the kids but just irresponsible compared to i dylan and she is definitely falling for him :((( awf#awful#anyway i miss ms casey when are we gonna see her :((((#and dylan should ask gretchen to go look for irv in the outside world..... and mark s like he literally knows their names and can describe#them and theyre lumon workers in a tiny town.. it cant be that hard#i love also how helena was like. mark im basically the head of the company like BESTIe you are not. no one asks for your opinion ever!!!#loser girl trying to steal her twin's bf... insane behaviour#helly also broke my heart idk its so sad#idk what mark is gonna do with 4 gfs though he has to like choose 2 max because 4 is too much#and milchick and that child... man idk i used to feel bad for ms huang but i dont anymore
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