camellcat

[camellcat]

btvs 7x04 is such a stellar episode. rebecca rand kirshner has not always been one of my favorite writers on this show but she did great work on the xander/anya wedding episode and she does great work here. the premise makes good use of the high school setting and buffy's position as counselor, it's an engaging and exciting plot that helps set stuff up for later in the season but also ties back to previous seasons, great performances from the guest actors, re-establishes buffy & willow & xander as a core unit once again, lovely and affecting spike moments. and it's so tense and gripping and sad but also with sweet and silly moments and overall such a real true sense of being in high school. standout episode of the season and maybe even the series overall

[camellcat]

People who claim Willow and Xander are bad friends are half right, but they also ignore the crucial part of their characters, which is that they. do. not. leave. And it’s because they do not budge that there are no two better friends for Buffy ‘abandonment issues’ Summers.

I definitely want to talk about this more, but I just think it is so important that Buffy, who is terrified of everyone leaving her, is surrounded by two idiots who refuse to leave the horror movie even when they really really should.

Like yeah, Cordy, Oz and Giles objectively have Buffy’s back more often - but they all leave!!! Even if it is for a perfectly valid reason (Cordy and Oz), Willow and Xander would never dream of jumping ship. At their core they’re still the first people who see Buffy and decide, actually, she doesn’t have to be alone, and she won’t be alone. And that is so important!!!

They cling to Buffy like a limpet because they centre their identities around her. And like okay, unhealthy much, but Buffy was ridiculously lucky to find these two immediately, bc no sane person is staying for 7 years in constant life or death situations. Not even Giles. Who, btw, is getting paid.

It makes it kind of hilarious that Buffy is so scared of her friends leaving her that she didn’t consider that they wouldn’t let her leave. Codependency so strong not even dying gets her out of it.

[camellcat]

Once Upon a Time has a thing where hearts can be magically removed and the person is still alive, they just can't feel things as fully as they can with one.

And I think that's really what the soul lore in the Buffyverse is trying to explain. Vampires can feel, and love, and choose goodness... just not fully. OUAT has people without hearts affected in different ways as well, some are still able to love and some aren't. But they're empty without it. They are less without it. They cannot feel anything fully without it.

And obviously plenty of villains in OUAT have hearts and still do horribly wicked things. A heart doesn't necessarily mean goodness. A soul in Buffy doesn't necessarily mean goodness either, but it does mean a kind of fulfilment, an important piece of oneself necessary for existence that one is not complete without.

Which is why Spike having a soul matters so much. But it doesn't matter for every vampire, because they're not looking to be worthy of being the Slayer's partner.

[camellcat]

What's the ship called? Timetanic? Whatever, Jack x Rose.

Because you're telling me that they never got to speak about the fact that she made him immortal and put him through all that suffering out of uncontrollable compassion? You're telling me she didn't even ask where he'd gone? You're telling me that they met again and never even had this interaction? Bullshit. Fix it, now.

[camellcat]

tigerstar has fucked up my perception of what tigers actually look like. I keep calling one of my cats "little tiger" bc she's got the shape of one but that bitch is a brown/grey tabby. she is NOT tiger coloured. damn

[camellcat]

bander co-parenting dawn in early s7 ily always..... dysfunctional family trying their goddamn hardest <3

[camellcat]

[camellcat]

everyone laughs at anya's fear of rabbits but I think she's so fucking real.... they can just decide to bite your finger off!! and what can you even do about that?? plus I've read warrior cats and watership down y'know I've seen what a rabbit can do if they wanna

[camellcat]

tearing my pillow to shreds with my teeth I am TRYING to read fuffy and wuffy fics sooo bad. so much am I trying. but then I remember spike will never reach his full potential without buffy and then I CAN'T without him it makes me too sad to think about. but then faith will come up in my spuffy fics and I'm like waiting for the fuffy to happen bc I literally expected it in the show itself even though why would it this is a spuffy fic?? and ofc I'm always thinking about willow and buffy being buffy-and-willow bc they're that connected to me and I can't imagine buffy or willow ever existing without each other anymore. so. so. so where does this even leave me. what do I do now huh

[camellcat]

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

[camellcat]

touchstone

[camellcat]

spike is drusilla's lover in the sense that he is the thing she owns whose function is to love her, in the same way that her hairbrush is the thing she owns whose function is to let her brush her hair

[camellcat]

digital sketch of WILLOW ROSENBERG in "THE WISH" and "DOPPELGANGLAND" - BTVS

[camellcat]

random trans lesbian spike headcanons

she doesnt even realize she's a woman until after she's a vampire. she just knows something's wrong with her for her whole life. she's never been right, you know? she's been too soft, too poetic, head lost in the clouds, too emotional. never had many friends. too much of a mummy's boy. and under it, she's been so fucking angry all the time, in ways she's never been able to express. until now.

she hates the name william.

the bloody's not too bad, though.

spike's better. angelus (who is a cis woman in this au - the whole scourge are women, okay?) tells her she needs a real name, a proper name, the kind of name a person has. spike scoffs - because angelus is such a proper name, huh? - but chooses "helen" to go by when she needs to.

(its a threefold choice. first: "was this the face that launched a thousand ships / and burnt the topless towers of illium / sweet helen, make me immortal with a kiss ..." yeah. so she's a romantic, what of it.)

(second: she's a bit of a fan of acton bell and she appreciates a woman who had the nerve to leave a bad situation. she wouldntve gone back to the bastard, though. lmao tell yourself that spike)

(third: ... third, is that helen, from the greek, means "shining light." means "something gleaming." it means - yeah. it doesnt rhyme, but maybe it doesnt have to, see?)

dru loooooooooooooooves her. dru loves her growing her hair out and trying on dresses and putting on makeup for the first time - its like having her own vampire-sized doll to play with! spike ends up not really liking any of that stuff overmuch, but it was fun to play around with, anyway.

she's pretty butch, honestly. shortish hair - i'm kinda feeling the lesbian mullet for spike. overall, a similar look to canon.

soulless unchipped spike takes a lot of pleasure in killing people that misgender her. she usually doesnt even eat them, she just beats them to death with her bare hands.

semi-relatedly, angelus (not soulled angel) deadnames her on purpose. its not even because she doesnt consider spike to be "really" her name or that spike is "really" a man or anything like that, its to be deliberately cruel.

buffy DOESNT misgender her, like, ever. this is very important to me. even when they hate each other, even when spike is being godawful to her. buffy doesnt misgender her. i think if buffy ever did hear her deadname, she would be genuinely confused as to who people were talking about because she thinks of spike as [spike] or mayyyybe [helen the bloody].

[camellcat]

start violently screaming doing all of your assignments in two days is NOT sustainable or good for you actually. I will not be changing my behaviour however

[camellcat]

Someone didn't pay attention during Internet Safety class...

[camellcat]