#the perspective shift is important
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For Mariner to be happy and fulfilled she needs a stable group of friends, a good relationship with her mom, a settled and supportive work/living situation, and plenty of time to process her war trauma. Meanwhile all Ransom needs to be happy and fulfilled is a bunch of stairs and some decon slime, so all that's to say that opposites attract, and they're actually perfect for each other.
#lower decks#beckett mariner#star trek#jack ransom#Mariner x Ransom#Marisom#star trek lower decks#st lwd s5 spoilers#like Mariner and Boimler are very sweet together#but at the end of the day I do think there's a point where they both become nitpicky and anxious and would just spin each other up#where is Ransom is truly no thoughts head empty#which Mariner claims to find annoying#but all evidence points to the fact that Jacks very simplistic approach to life makes Mariner chill out and gain new perspective#like for Ransom life is Truly Not That Complicated#he doesn't have the smarts to play mind games#he couldn't be passive aggressive if he tried#even when he's being a shitty commander and putting people in danger#he does it with truly innocent good intentions#and that's part of why he's able to effectively mentor Mariner#and also why I think they would make good partners/ why Ransom should date Mariner & Boimler#She needs Brad for intellectual conversation#but she needs Jack because sometimes you just need a guy whos gonna go#“Hey are you gonna keep yelling tell we get there because I'm actually very exited for decon gel”#the perspective shift is important
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pokemon game, but... at the start of the game, you get your starter, you set off on your journey, meet your rival, and have your first battle! they think you're very good at type matchups, of course.
after a long day's work, you settle down at an inn at the first town you've ever gotten to on your own. you say good night to your starter, pray to the legendary of the region, and take a well-earned rest.
the next day seems normal at first. you wake up, the inn provided you and your partner breakfast, how nice! you pick up some poke balls from the mart- you'd forgotten to do that yesterday- and decide to see what you can find by your home town.
how do you do this again? oh, right, the professor told me- you just...
as you admire your second team member, you catch a glimpse of a trainer running by from your home town. you look to the ball on their belt, then to your first partner, who gives you a look of confusion.
"sorry, i was just lost in thought- what do you think they chose, bud?" you ask, before realizing how silly it is to expect a response.
still, you continue, "that trainer looked just as excited as i am to start... maybe i should introduce myself!" your partner makes a sound that seems like an affirmation.
your team then sets off back to the inn town, with only a few attacks from the local wildlife along the way. when you finally arrive back, though, --
is that trainer talking to my rival...? hey, wait, their partner pokemon--
your partner pokemon was unique- one of a kind for the region, the professor said. what an opportunity, for a new trainer to embark with this, they said! so why, does this trainer, have one? and why, are they talking, to my RIVAL!?
the trainer turns around.
WHY DO THEY HAVE MY FACE!?
you suddenly realize,
you'd never seen yourself from the back before.
you don't know what to do.
something's wrong,
and you think
you might
be sick.
...
a faint voice echoes from the battle field up ahead.
"wow, you really understand your type matchups, huh?"
-~-~-
after a long day's work, you settle down at an inn at the first town you've ever gotten to on your own. you say good night to your starter, and...
your mind wanders as you begin to drift off. it was strange, wasn't it? something happened as you were fighting your rival. now? your mind dodges the memory as if it'd used double team.
something's wrong. something's--
...
what were you just thinking about?
...
you take a well-earned rest.
#💡// oops. it's a time loop story :) but with a twist :)#it started with the concept of “what if it was a time loop but their pokemon also looped with them”#but then it changed into. well if their pokemon loop with them. what if the universe “corrects” itself by... well.#if i ever expand on this- yes. the original loop praying to the legendary while the divergent timeline doesn't is important.#someone gets to live out a normal pokemon journey. the one who was replaced... well. they'll figure it out.#might be fun to cut back to that perspective (or some other branch of the protagonist) at the end of each chapter#following this first divergence's journey and their flashes of what's going on with their other self bc of their meeting#also this was actually literally just gonna be a short story *concept* but i accidentally took it into fanfic territory.#wonder if you can see the point where it started to shift
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I had this realization about making art the other day that I would like to share with y’all. In the hopes it makes things a little easier for someone.
Picture this: I’m scrolling Instagram and I find a speed paint by an artist I love. As I’m sitting there watching I think to myself “man I wish I could draw hair like that! It’s so good.” The speed paint ends and I glance at the description below. The artist mentioned how much fun they had doing the hair on this piece because drawing hair is their favorite part.
It hit me like a truck, tbh. Like obviously I can’t draw hair like THAT because it isn’t my favorite part. You can tell the artist has the energy and enjoyment to spend the time and make the hair look like that. I loathe drawing hair most of the time so clearly I don’t have that same energy level. Sure I could learn but I wouldn’t love it like they do.
This is a slightly roundabout way of saying, draw what you love! Have faith that what you are drawing with passion and fun is good actually. Even if it’s different than what other people like drawing. Maybe the parts that are your favorite to draw look just as good to someone else as the things you envy in other people’s work. Anyway it’s given me a tool to give myself some grace about how I draw things.
#art things#probably true for all art tbh#Lean into your strengths#also not to mention that this is basically the opposite of what gets taught in art school where they want you to focus on your weaknesses#also important to improve but this shift in perspective helped me a ton
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Up till now everyone had operated on the assumption that this disease was a foreign terrorist attack, with some people [soldiers mainly] even speculating which group it could've been [Hydra, Al Qaeda etc] but :)))
#tea reads#this arc is a very important one for steve's character btw#by the end of it he has a huge shift in morals that eventually leads to his Civil War 'fuck the government' perspective
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“IT’S OKAY HUMAN! YOU HAVE BEEN SO BUSY FACING NEW CHALLENGES AND OVERCOMING DIFFICULTIES. THERE WERE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO GIVE UP OR NOT TRY BUT YOU PERSISTED AND STAYED DETERMINED. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED! DON’T JUST BRUSH IT UNDER THE RUG, SILLY HUMAN. EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS WERE STEPS TOWARDS BIGGER THINGS AND YOU SOMETIMES EVEN MANAGED TO MAKE GRAND LEAPS FORWARD, IT LOOKED REALLY COOL WHEN YOU DID THAT, NYEH HEH HEH! SO PLEASE, REMEMBER TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU ARE MAKING PROGRESS. YOU HAVE BEEN SO STRONG IN WAYS THAT MAY NOT SEEM OBVIOUS BUT CAN BE IN THE MOST IMPORTANT WAYS. CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT I SEE? SEE WHY I AM SO PROUD OF YOU?”
Sometimes I get really sad that my spark of creativity has left me again. I know it will come back and it may be in a different form or medium but still, I miss it. Haven’t been able to enjoy Undertale or the fandom like I used to, makes me feel like I’ve abandoned something I cherished so deeply. All of it still holds a special place in my heart, I just can’t access the same passion I used to have. Though, I can’t help but get a little emotional imagining what Papyrus would say if I apologized for being gone for so long and that it still might be a while until I return.
#vent#my art#papyrus#uuuggghhhh listening to undertale music while I write this is just getting me more emotional#dangit papyrus why you gotta help me see myself in a better light dangit#the other day i saw a post about how self shipping was a form of loving yourself and UGGGGH#that hit me right in the heart because… wow… man… i never looked it at that way and i guess yeah…#i want to see myself the way i imagine papyrus would#its like something doesnt allow that when its just me. my self doubt would creep in… drowning out the positive thoughts#then i just shift. i escape into fantasy and imagine a happiness i think is impossible#to be seen and loved and its funny how a shift in perspective can let you imagine that possiblity#the possibility that you are lovable. that you are wonderful. capable. strong. kind. so full of potential.#Others could possibly say this but it just hits home how very important it is that I see these qualities in myself.#That I learn to love myself and acknowledge all the good that there is on my own#anyways… for anyone still reading. Thank you for hearing me out#Remember you are deserving of love. Always. And I hope you can see all the wonderful things about yourself that there is to appreciate
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ugh sorry still on my rewatching dapg videos grind except very sleepy this time, (1) the phan connections video is sooooo good it's so giggly ... but also (2) this video is so funny for the title combined with this being like MAXIMUM DUAL SLIT video. like it's not the only vid with the dual slit but it's the one where to me it's like mad noticeable like. they're so silly. Real Best Friends w their slits... closest thing to matching tattoos these losers will get
[start ID: screenshot from the YouTube video "Dan and Phil are BROTHERS?" Dan is looking to the side with his eyebrow slit visible; Phil is looking at the camera with his eyebrow slit faintly visible.]
#dan and phil#the matching slits was a seismic shift w the tectonic plates established by 'we are real best friends'#like theyve been together for 15 years and all that yeah but theyre also just silly and giggly and stupid#theyve got like a 7 tier cake of relationship goin on here thats got like romantic entanglements obv but like#even just the strong best friendship is like. important 2 me#having made more best friends in this past yr & clarified my relationships w my past ones more... idk! it's important lol#also yes im a guy who has best friends PLURAL i have 5 of them and love them all differently but equally as strong.#d&p have their freakass lesbian codependent life partners piece of furniture best friendship though so diff in perspectives
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a few months ago i told my now ex gf that i feel like my brain is fully developed and i know exactly the time around when it happened and i described how i knew and she told me “no that’s not possible, you’re 23, ur brain develops fully at 25” and i said “not really, there’s a range of ages ur brain can become fully developed at, and mine happened when i was 21” and she was like “no. especially because you’re mentally ill. it’s not possible”.
#god i should’ve broken up with her so so long ago#and the stuff i told her about how i knew was. pretty personal? and deeply important stuff to me? and i had these large life and behavior#changes and shifts in perspective all within that short period of time? and it was all very vulnerable stuff i was telling her? and for her#to just be like. no. u have anxiety so this isnt possible. get fucked.#god. how fucking rude.#reymbles
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It seems you're feeling better today. I'm glad! Have some more questions :)
11, 39, 47, 78, 90
I am! :) And capitalizing on it as best as I can. Thanks for more of these 🥰
11. Do you have any strange phobias?
I don’t know if it’s strange but I have trypophobia. It’s strong enough that I have developed coping mechanisms to deal with it. It can become like an intrusive thought once it’s on my mind. I filter for it on here, and I’m always grateful when someone I follow actually uses the tag so I don’t have to see it. I also haven’t bothered to internalize how it’s spelled (even tho looking at it now it’s really not complicated), but I have the word saved in my notes app because originally I had to Google it and let me tell you… not a fun experience!
39. What time is it?
Aha, speaking of geography. It’s 4:53 pm :3
47. Do you have any obsessions right now?
Not really! Thank goodness tbh. I hyperfixated on Fire Emblem: Three Houses pretty hard when I got into it (June or July), and went down the Dimileth rabbit hole first, then Sylvix. I’m still enjoying Sylvix, but it’s not compulsive like it was when I was well and truly hyperfixated. I’ve been avoiding finishing the CF route, tho, so I’m currently playing Spiritfarer.
78. Can insanity bring on more creativity?
Uh oh! You’ve unlocked Opinions™. The first of which is that insanity is a word I find uncomfortable because it isn’t an official psychological term anymore, it’s mostly used in law these days to indicate severe mental illness, and when the average person genuinely uses it to describe another person they’re often using it to demonize said person’s mental illness. However, I don’t think anyone involved here intended that, so I am just mentioning it because I have met a lot of folks for whom it is a word that personally hurts them, and thus I feel the need to say something.
To answer the actual question, I think it’s looking at it wrong, really. Rather than bringing on creativity, I think mental illness tends to result in unique experiences, both positive and negative, and art is an outlet for all of it. Van Gogh had what seems to be manic depression, and art was a way to express himself. Art therapy is very much a thing for folks with all sorts of mental illnesses. It allows you to explore life, yourself, whatever you want in a way that doesn’t require words (or does, if you express yourself through writing), and can maybe communicate some of what’s going on in your head to someone else who otherwise might have very little understanding. And it can even help you understand yourself, too, sometimes.
So yeah, I think ultimately unique experiences and perspectives make a person more creative, especially in the eyes of someone whose own experiences are very different. It’s all relative, baby! This is also why diversity is super important (beyond just being fundamentally a good thing), because diverse people have diverse ideas and diversity of thought leads to creativity and innovation :3
90. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
First of all - this one is hilarious. Secondly… cry. Fun fact about me, if a zombie apocalypse were to happen, I would like to die, thanks! Don’t wanna deal with it, too scary and depressing. Anyhow - after crying, I would probably do the boring thing which is see if they react to anything, including movement and speech, and go from there. If no movement, J and I get up and leave and probably call my in-laws because they’re the real adults around here. 😂
#oops it got long#asks#ask game#insomnikat-mused#may rambles#long post#trypophobia mention#not sure whether or not to tag any of the mental illness stuff? hit me with an ask (anon is on) if you’d like me to#the energy on this one is very different 😅#:) I always just want to do my best with how I think about and frame mental illness because society is already not great about it#and I figure everyone has things that they advocate for and while it isn’t my biggest one or one that I know the most about#it’s certainly one that I try to be aware of and speak up about when it comes up#but also the language is less important than the perspective I think#I don’t always know a word is problematic but I do always try my best to be understanding of people and their experiences - y’know?#anyhow#despite getting serious I did enjoy answering these :3#I enjoy being made to think about my opinions and perspectives and whether or not they need to shift or adjust#Jennifer brown has a great model for measuring where you’re at on any given diversity topic#it’s a scale: Unaware -> Aware -> Active -> Advocate#I’m always trying to move myself along that scale as I become aware of new things#and no one has the capacity to achieve advocate in everything and that’s okay#oh I’ve rambled enough#thank you for asking more! I love it
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obsessed with how the gerard "SHE uses HE/THEY pronouns" meme has reblogs with both of the polar opposite opinions. cross-platform appeal
#call that a good meme#ive been thinking about this a lot#i saw some reddit posts the other day from the big Girl Debate#and ive also been reevaluating the importance pronouns have taken on#when they were supposed to be casual and voluntarily provided#asking you to state yer pronouns could be beneficial. made ME evaluate if i really care. and i dont#which is why i dont even care to offer them#some people care some people dont. assuming that others have the same perspective should only apply to how you treat ppl-#-you dont know. it absolutely shouldnt apply to general morality#i want to continue this discussion#the girl critics (not terfs) did shift my perspective. so there IS a use to it#q.txt
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I think it should be on everyone's bucket list (it's certainly on mine) to go to one of those light pollution 1 zones and just sit under the stars for a night, to truly experience the milky way as all our ancestors did up until very recent generations, at least once in their life.
I don't think it would suddenly, magically change the world. I don't think it would sudddenly make cruel or greedy people reevaluate their world views. But I do think it would have a lasting affect on a lot of people. Especially those who've never experienced less than, like, a 7. I think it would be the kind of experience you carry with you for the rest of your life. Something you tell others about for the rest of your days in boisterous glee and in reverant whispers. Something that changes you in such infinite infinitesimal ways.
It might just make poets out of warriors. And warriors out of poets.
I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.
For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.
When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.
#Basing this on the handful of times I've gone from 9/8 to 7/6 and felt something stirring within me#Something that felt massive and important shifting around in there#If the relatively minor diffence of just 1 or 2 light levels can evoke /that/ feeling#I can't wait to see what a true dark zone awakens in me#And I know maybe it won't be nothing#Maybe that slight stirring is as strong as the feeling gets#But maybe it isn't#Maybe it won't be nothing#Maybe it'll be everything#Won't know until I go and find out#Just#Not everyone can go to space#Get to see our pale blue dot from that perspective#But dark zones#While diminishing#At this moment are still largely accesssible to get to#I feel like we should take advantage of that#And then work to make sure those places are still there for future generations too#Better yet work to reduce light pollution everywhere#I'm not naieve enough to think we could ever go back to 'the old way'#I'm not naieve enoughnto think we should#Some modern advancements are good#But we could definitely do a lot better than we are#For ourselves and the other lifeforms around us that are also getting dicked over by the rampant light pollution
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part of the reason i love how bell hooks talks about masculinity is that she shows real compassion towards men suffering from the effects of toxic masculinity. she was conscious of how we need to unlearn the ways we talk about men + masculinity just as much as we need to unlearn the same for women + femininity. so many times ill see someone talking about toxic masculinity like (hyperbolizing here but only slightly) "these FUCKING STUPID BABY BITCHES won't MAN UP and go to a therapist!!!" and like. i get the anger. but you see feminists recreating patriarchal manhood by only promoting good behaviors through patriarchal frameworks. any use of the term "real men" is bad because it reifies the idea that manhood is a special title you must earn, and it is something possible to fail and fake. & as important as it is to promote sexual equality + the pleasure of non-cis-men, lots of people are essentially still working with the idea that men need sexual prowess to have worth but just shifting it slightly so there is more emphasis on women's pleasure. but I want cis men to think about their partners' pleasure because they care about their partners, not because they need to check a box in order to keep their man card. and don't get me started on small dick jokes– and the absolutely pitiful excuse people will use that "well, I don't believe it, but misogynistic men get upset when I say it, so it's okay!"
basically bell hooks is so fucking right. in order to create loving men we need to love men, simply for being alive, whether or not they are performing. as much as we need to actively unlearn misogyny (and we do), it's equally vital we unlearn patriarchal ways of seeing manhood. we can't just assume that taking a feminist perspective automatically means there is no work to be done there.
#m.#okay now countdown to when someone inevitably misinterprets this to claim I think women having orgasms is misandry
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weirdness
OKAY
Why’s Skully’s idea of the ideal Halloween so jank??? Bro wants:
No candy (he says it’s frivolous and therefore unnecessary; Trey and Riddle argue for candy, RIDDLE defends CANDY)
No decorations (he calls for modesty and simplicity)
No color (just rooms painted entirely black with a single lit pumpkin; Vil and even Malleus, who often wears mostly black, areagainst this idea)
No music, no dancing (only silence; he says music and dancing is inappropriate even after the mermen talk about the importance of music)
To beat back (bad) ghosts (even though this holiday is meant to honor them all and their temporary return to the land of the living; Leona, Sebek, and Jamil are appalled at the suggestion, calling it discourteous)
Very odd how his entire concept of Halloween contradicts his idol’s vision for it?? Especially since Skully claims he and his entire village supposedly worship Jack Skellington as the founder of the holiday. In fact, Skully seems to be experiencing cognitive dissonance when Jack proposes a Halloween with all the things Skully disapproves of, but agrees to help with Jack’s vision anyway. What kind of twisted version of history do they have in his hometown…? Are Jack and Halloween as a whole just super dull there???
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, Skully js disappointed when you disagree with him… There’s also a very strange personality shift between Skully’s upbeat, gentlemanly self and the Skully that makes that deranged expression, speaks ill of dissenters, and gets gloomy when his ideas are rejected. His wording is also very odd???? He says things like he’ll teach everyone what a “proper” Halloween is, which is very reminiscent of how controlling Riddle was back in book 1. Skully also talks about LOT about reflection and atonement. He also mentions it is his duty/reason why he was brought to this world/book… to show everyone what Halloween truly is.
HOW IS SKULLY JUST AS CONSERVATIVE AND VAGUELY RELIGIOUS AS ROLLO???????? 😭 Look, it’s okay to have a different perspective on Halloween and want to celebrate it differently than the modern and more commercialized version of it, but there’s no need to be upset about it when you get outvoted??? (Not the NRC students were the most polite when they told Skully off, but still…) Really not sure how to feel about this.
Starting to think your classmates were right about you being WEIRD, Skully 💀 I didn’t buy the “he’s a cultist” or “he’s old/dead” or “he’s Rollo’s dead brother” theories but now I’m really eyeballin’ him suspiciously… (Not that I believe the theories now, but something is definitely up with him.)
#twst#twisted wonderland#Skully J. Graves#Jack Skellington#Riddle Rosehearts#Malleus Draconia#Leona Kingscholar#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#jp spoilets#twst jp#twisted wonderland jp#twst halloween#twisted wonderland halloween#notes from the writing raven#Rollo Flamme#Vil Schoenheit#Azul Ashengrotto#Jade Leech#Sebek Zigvolt#Jamil Viper#Trey Clover
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(this was written AFTER writing the tags, so reading those first might make more sense!)
wrote this on another post somewhere but since i ended up writing an essay in the tags forgetting to mention it i felt i should add that in now
as much as i think it’s important to have empathy to any side in queer discourse, the important thing to me is that the word discourse itself implies that there’s a debate
sometimes. there is not a debate
sometimes. they are just wrong
people saying “aro people aren’t queer” is NOT a debate, they’re just wrong. aro people are queer go away
people excluding trans people from communities isn’t a debate, they’re just wrong and possibly terfs/radfems!
just wanted to clear that up because i generally get kinda anxious whenever i talk extensively about a topic because!! i am not the best at using words to describe my thoughts!! because my thoughts often dont happen in words and instead in concepts which is a lot harder to explain!!!!
all queer discourse could be stopped if we all just remembered that in the eyes of conservative fascists we're all dirty queers polluting their kids minds who need to be eradicated at all costs
#i agree with the sentiment of the post but i’d still say most instead of all#cus like. queer people are a community but not a hivemind#we do still share different opinions about things and it’s still valuable to talk about them#especially since some of that discourse comes from internalised homo/transphobia or being unfamiliar with certain cultures etc.#those can be solves by just educating them instead of reminding them that the opposition hates them#because that doesn’t really. help the issue. at most they know they’re doing SOMETHING wrong but not really knowing. what#the idea that queer people should (/do) share the same opinions on everything is kind of a right wing conspiracy imo#because it’s easier to demonize us if they make us seem like a cult that agrees on everything#like. as much as it sucks knowing that queer people still argue on queer issues#it’s to an extent more unreasonable to assume that they should agree with one another simply because they’re also queer#sorry i know im reading into the post way too much#i just feel like. it’s always important to empathise with people even if you don’t agree with them#even if just to understand them a bit better#as a queer person myself i admit i do feel kinda. surprised when another queer person says something which#in my opinion. is so horribly and obviously wrong#but after my initial shock my first reaction is to kinda. try understand why#i feel like it’d be ignorant of me to assume that i have the ‘correct opinion’ for one#but also if anything i can try sharing my perspective too and. maybe theirs will shift. or maybe mine will! depends#me omw to write an essay in the tags whenever i see a post relating to queerness hdkgudhdjfhd
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TO LIE AND LOVE LIKE YOU DO.
ellie williams & abby anderson x fem!reader.
part two of off to the races.
summary — it’s been months since you ran away from the loves of your life. you think you have escaped them forever — only for them to return, with a sick game of cat and mouse coming into play as they remind you just how much you belong to them.
warning tags — adult language. extremely dark content; m*rder, stalking, possessive and obsessive behavior, threats of kidnapping, lowkey blackmail (?), threats made with a weapon. strong adult content; slapping, spitting, double penetration, edging, mommy and daddy kink(s), gun play, bondage, threesomes.
author’s message — let me know if i forgot any important missing tags for this. please proceed with caution as this part is extremely heavier than the first part; ellie and abby are so not nice in here, and it gets dark pretty quickly.
“Where the fuck could she have gone?” Abby asked, her and Ellie frantically searching the penthouse. “She knows better than to turn off her location, or leave unannounced.”
“She was just here, sleeping and resting,” Ellie stated, and their panic was overcomed with frustration and anger instead. You knew that if you went anywhere without them, that you had to tell them exactly where and your location could never go off.
They would chip you if they could. They have thought about it numerous times.
Ellie’s phone rang, and she grabbed it out of her back pocket, noticing Joel’s contact. “Hello?” She answered, irritation playing into her tone. “What’s goin’ on, Joel?”
“The police are heading to your place,” Joel said, and Ellie put the call on speaker. “I don’t know what you two have done this time, but it is bad and I am not helpin’ out with any clean ups.”
“What are you talking about?” Ellie asked.
“I’m not some moron, Ellie!” He yelled, and she rolled her eyes. “They know you killed someone. They know your girlfriend was with you, too. I called her, and asked questions.”
“You did what?” Abby shouted. “Joel, what the fuck!”
That’s how they knew you had run away from them. You were a timid and easily frightened individual, and now that you were aware of what they had done, you scurried away and were going to hide. The pair knew they had some time to track you down to your home.
“Fuck off, Joel,” Ellie cursed, ending the call. “We have time to get her, to make up a story or whatever. We can avoid the police for the night?”
They agreed to find you and explain everything, to lure you back to them as they assured that there was nothing to worry about.
Abby’s eyes go wide. “The shirt.”
Ellie cursed under her breath, running to the closet and into the hamper — only to find the shirt completely gone. You had taken it, and now many possibilities surged through their heads.
“It’s gone!” Ellie yelled, and before the two could leave the penthouse to go to you, two detectives walked in.
The amusing yet realistic part of everything is that even though they knew that you thought you had gotten away for good, they were preparing on how to get you back, and never be able to escape again.
You had a particular interest in Philosophy during high school.
You loved to read the knowledge these scholar men would try to pass on, what they had to say about life, beauty, or death. You wanted to understand their wisdom, their perspective of all things, of everything around them, and how they got to a certain point about it.
You remembered a certain quote from Plato, of how Zeus feared the power of two humans mending together as one, leaving them with four arms, four legs, a head with two faces on it. However, he was so threatened by this that he split them into two, and left them to wander Earth to find each other again.
You had believed in that quote when Ellie and Abby entered your life. These two girls, the most threatening pair, would put a grand shift on your life, and how you perceived it as. They utterly shifted your world, they took you in, and prioritized your needs.
You were worshiped by them.
You couldn’t see beyond the horizon of the world without them there, and in your isolation, you still didn’t know how to.
More than sixty-five days since your departure, leaving them behind, and not hearing a single word from them.
When you came to your parent’s villa, your mother opened the door, and you sobbed into her arms, clutching onto her. She hugged you, stroked your hair, and didn’t know if she should’ve spoken or not.
Your tears soaked into her shirt, and she had to nearly drag you inside, afraid of what was happening with you.
“My dear, what’s going on?” She asked, clear to see the exhausted look on your face, your eyes bloodshot as she sat you both down on the couch. “I haven’t seen you like this in a while.”
“I just… Abby and Ellie,” you sobbed, heavily breathing, and shook your head, still in denial of what they did. “I just need to be here for a while. I’m going to transfer to Oxford.”
“You already decided on Columbia,” your mother stated, and you continued to cry, earning a sigh out of her. “You can’t just drop it now.”
You wanted to scream, “they might kill me if I return. They may never let me go after that.” You knew that they were combing through New York, probably already onto their next target — you knew the lengths they would go to just to have you back.
That was something you couldn’t fucking stomach.
“Mom, please,” you whispered, your voice jagged and shaky. “I just can’t go back to the city.” You stared up at her, and she cradled your face in her hands for a moment before nodding, and let you rest your head on her lap.
“Okay, love. You can stay here,” she assured, rubbing your back, and let you sob until you finally calmed down and fell asleep.
The next morning, your father was telling you about Abby and Ellie, wondering if you had any idea about it.
“They’re in deep shit,” he said, glaring at you. “What are you not telling us?”
“I don’t know anything, dad!” You denied, and your mother stood aside, arms folded. “Joel already asked me the same things that you are! I don’t remember shit from that night!”
“So you were there?” Your dad asked, and you fell quiet. He took your silence as an answer, sighing heavily and rubbed his temple in frustration. “You weren’t with any one of them? At all?”
“I… Ellie gave me some coke,” you confessed, guilt reeling into you as you were partially lying, and throwing her under the rug. “I was having a tough night after this guy was harassing me, and after she gave it to me, I was left with Dina and Jesse.”
An exasperated sigh came from your mother, simply frustrated that you had been doing drugs. You were never going to be her perfect daughter, and you didn’t know how long it was going to take until she accepted that fact.
Your dad took a minute to process this information before grabbing your shoulders, and forcing you to look at him. “From here on out, you know nothing. Do you understand me?”
You nodded, and he brought you into a hug, coddling the back of your head. Your father’s affection was never this tender or earnest, and you knew he was only being protective for the family image, but you didn’t care for that — your father was holding you for the first time since you were eleven.
You had to change your phone number, deactivate any social media you had, and new butlers, maids, and chauffeurs were put into place. Your parents allowed you to move to London a month later, staying in a comfortable flat, but were patrolled by bodyguards in answer to your paranoia.
After your readjustment to life, you prevented yourself from hearing anything Abby or Ellie, or if they were at trial. You needed to focus on yourself, get your shit together, and focus on your classes at Oxford.
A few months into the new school, you kept your head low and isolated — something you were used to doing when at Faye Academy, before they made themselves stuck in your existence.
You considered taking your courses online, but knew you’d only lose your mind being stuck in your flat for days on end.
All in four months, your life was granted something that you’d forgotten — freedom.
Not that Abby and Ellie were extremely possessive, but you haven't known anyone besides them in a while. You were able to make friends at Oxford, go out to bars and diners, without the fear they may kill someone who even breathed in your general direction.
It was a relief. And you felt human again.
Your parents constantly checked in on you, and often tried to visit. It was the first time in a while since they hovered over you, and were concerned for your well being.
“Yes, mom. I’m fine,” you assured over the phone, the device stuck between your shoulder and ear as you were returning your textbooks. “I finished classes early, so I was thinking of going back to Milan for semester break.”
“Well, honey, you see,” your mother started off, clearing her throat. “Your father and I were going to attend a gala tomorrow; Joel is throwing it.”
“I thought you guys cut him off,” you said, rushing out of the library, and to your car. “Especially after everything.”
There was silence.
“Mom?”
“Ellie and Abby were found not guilty,” she said, and your heart sank to your stomach. “The trial concluded yesterday— we didn’t want to say anything.”
You froze in your tracks. “What?”
“They didn’t kill that boy. I guess he had enemies all along,” she continued, and your head spun. “If you come with us, they won’t be there. Joel assured us of it.”
“So everything is just fine now because they’re innocent?” You questioned.
“Honey, you’re acting as if you know something,” she stated, and you exasperatingly sighed, continuing your walk to your vehicle. “But Jerry and Joel did say they were going to get the girls in contact with a psychiatrist.”
“Huh, and why is that?”
“I’m not sure,” she muttered, and you hopped into your car, locking the doors. “Would you like to come? And maybe we can then spend a few days in the city. Shop around Fifth.”
“I’ll think about it, momma. Still unsure about the city,” you said, and she sighed, visibly exasperated with your nerves. “I just don’t want an accidental run in with the girls.”
“You guys were so close,” she remembered. “I don’t know what happened, but I hope you all make up soon; they were the best part of your life.”
“Bye, mom,” is all you said, hanging up the call, and tossed your phone into the passenger seat, along with your book bag. You heavily sighed, staring blankly out into the parking lot.
They were the best part of your life.
They were the tragedy of you. They were Hell masked as Heaven, where their lure was nothing more than a ticket to damnation.
Yet, all of them were bestowed to you. You were their alter, their religion, the only reason as to why they believed in life, as you did with them.
But in your time of being free from their grasp, you could breathe, and find a newer light where nothing could dim it.
Your phone dinged, and your eyes snapped over to it, hands fiddling for the device. You opened up the lock screen to see a message from a random number.
Unknown: Image Attached.
You swallowed thickly, your hands numbing as you unlocked your phone and went to the conversation.
It was a picture of you from last night, hanging out with your friend, Delilah. She was someone you had been fond of since attending Oxford, and you had gotten close to her.
Unknown: Cute girl.
R: Who the fuck is this???
Unknown: Didn’t know running made you so dumb.
Nausea washed over you, and fear rattled in your bones.
Unknown: Hi, little lamb. You miss us?
R: I’ll call the police.
Unknown: I’ll tell them you tampered with evidence. We wouldn’t want that, right? Pretty baby like you isn’t suitable for jail time.
R: You would go down with me.
Unknown: You betrayed us. What makes you think we wouldn’t betray you?
You wanted to break your phone on your steering wheel, and you searched the outside of your car, checking your surroundings. There were only a few students, and it was still light outside.
But you knew they were watching you.
Unknown: You run again, and we will find you.
R: Why now?
Unknown: Had some troubles along the way, baby. But we took our time keeping tabs on you. Oxford treating you nice? How’s every bitch who fucks you?
R: You’re stalking me?
Unknown: You really are fucking stupid.
R: Don’t think I won’t get a restraining order against you.
Unknown: Why would you want that, little lamb? After everything we have done for you? Didn’t take you for an ungrateful brat, you know. We have been there when you needed us, taken care of you, dealt with people for you.
R: You mean murder people.
Unknown: Mhm.
Unknown: Be careful, honey. Scary world we live in.
You tried to send another message, but it wouldn’t go through. “What the fuck, what the fuck!” You screamed, going to your phone contacts, and bringing your phone up to your ear.
“Miss, are you alright?” Carson asked. He had been your personal bodyguard since you moved to London, and was respectful of when you wanted to be alone. “Are you in danger?”
“I need my house and the surrounding area to be checked out,” you said, reviving your car engine, and pressed on the gas. “Check for any sort of security cameras, too. Tell Rosaline to pack a suitcase for me as well, I’m heading to Los Angeles.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Carson answered, the call dropping, and you put your phone in your lap. You were trying not to get into a car accident on your way back to your flat, but you needed to leave the city immediately. You were just happy you finished your courses on time, and you didn’t need to worry about your education for a while.
About to reach home, your phone started to buzz in your lap. You pulled over to the side to look at the contact, only for it to be unknown again.
You hesitated on answering, just wanting to let it ring through, but a part of you wanted to know what sick agenda they had planned out for you. You knew they weren’t going to stop, that they needed you vulnerable and scared in order for them to pounce at you at the perfect moment; just like a prey and predator situation.
A game of cat and mouse.
You accepted the call, putting it on speaker. “Hello?”
“Hi, bunny,” you heard Abby’s voice, and your head spun. It had been so long since you heard either girl's voice, that you frowned at the sound of it, and almost how comforting it could be. “Missed you.”
“Abby…” you whispered out, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. “I… You both need to stop this.”
“Why, bun? You don’t like it?” She asked.
“You and Ellie killed Brandon, and probably many others,” you told her, sniffling as tears carelessly dropped out of your eyes. “I know you thought you were doing the right thing, but murder is wrong.”
“You have the shirt, bunny,” Abby stated, and you went quiet. “Why would you do that, hm? If you really wanted to dispose and run from us, you would’ve left it behind, or turned it over to the police.”
You couldn’t tell her your logic or reasoning behind taking the shirt. It even sounded unreal to you, unbelievable, given the circumstances, and how you ran off.
“I couldn’t help but think of what would happen if you both went to prison,” you admitted, hot water running down your cheeks. “I… You and Ellie protected me, and I thought it was only fair I returned the favor. But that didn’t mean I wanted you in my life again.”
Abby hummed. “And why is that?”
“I’m free,” you muttered, inhaling sharply. “You and her wanted to keep me in a cage, keep me locked up forever. You have done it ever since you stepped into my life, and I couldn’t see it until that evening.”
“You make it sound so horrible, bunny,” she breathily chuckled, able to hear Ellie’s own laughter roughly in the background. “Let me ask you again; who’s going to put up with you? Who was fucking there when Miranda Rhodes was fucking spilling rumors about you having eating disorders? Who the fuck handled Timothy Yales after he said he had sex with you after Winter formal?”
“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!” You shouted, millions of emotions flooding over you, and taking you at once, drowning “I never once fucking told you or Ellie to go out of your way to do that shit! I can fucking handle myself, and being away from you both has proved that.”
“Oh, bunny. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into,” Abby stated, sharp and clear with you. She talked as if you were dumb, that you were about out of your mind.
You could nearly burst apart, everything of you filled with terror and rage. You weren’t sure if they expected you to bow at their feet for all their maniacal endeavors they willingly decided to partake in, but you weren’t going to.
You had come this far without them, you had managed to escape them for a good time, and you weren’t planning on stopping everything now. You weren’t going to surrender your freedom and life all for them, all because you knew what they were, and what they could do.
“If I have to turn in that shirt to make sure I never see either of you ever again, I will,” you said, and hung up the call, dropping your phone back into your lap, and continued to drive back home.
The moment your car was parked, you rushed up the stairs of the building, and bursted through your front door. Your guards were all there, Rosaline getting finished up with your second suitcase as Carson approached you from the side.
“Miss, we have searched the area,” he stated, following you while you walked into your bedroom. “We found no sort of threat, especially here. I have called your family’s plane to be prepped and ready for take off to Los Angeles.”
“Carson, please close the door,” you said, sitting down on the edge of your naked bed. He listened, shutting it, leaving you and him in your bedroom as you looked up at him. “I need to ask a question, and this stays between us. Do you get that?”
“Of course, ma’am. I am under your and your parents serving,” he reassured, keeping himself near the door, a secure radius between the both of you.
“Is it possible for me to avoid the law? Few months ago, I may or may have not tampered with evidence,” you blurted, and he inhaled heavily, but nodded, tuned in with you. “My reason is so stupid, but I’m regretting keeping it in my possession, and I don’t want to anymore.”
“Well, what is it?” He wondered.
“A shirt,” you began, and he cocked his head to the side. “With blood on it. Someone’s blood who isn’t mine, because my ex-girlfriends in New York beat this dude who was harassing me.”
“And you want to turn this in now?” Carson asked, and you nodded. “Okay, miss. I’m going to see what I can do, and once I do, you can hand it over to me.”
“Thank you so much, Carson,” you smiled, standing up. “Now, let’s head to the city of angels.”
You had your own bungalow at the Chateau Marmont. It was cozy and spacious, everything to your liking, but only stayed at it when you wanted to escape home. You had once brought Abby and Ellie, and to that, you had to undergo a whole alias, and a different room.
You didn’t have much anxiety about being at Chateau, you were packed with protection, and knew the pair wouldn’t make so much time or risks since their trial had concluded, also sure that Abby understood your threat about the shirt.
You had flown late into the night, it was about three in the morning of the next day, and you were drained with exhaustion. Sleep was becoming you, yet you were on high alert, and couldn’t help but to keep checking your phone.
You worried that there would be another call, or a text; that they weren’t quite finished with their game. In your isolation, you had much time to mull over Abby and Ellie, the things they were capable of, or the people they were.
You knew blood and carnage were them. Their beauty and charm was a simple mask that only you were able to see past as violence and cruelty rotted in their souls. Maybe they couldn’t help how callous and aggressive they could be, but they lived off of it; it was all they were. There was nothing to stop them, nothing that could change them.
In a sense, you assumed your presence and soul balanced them out well — you were a complete polar opposite to them, and that’s what stood out to people at Faye Academy.
They were terrorizing, vicious females, standing with you — a loving, and free-spirited person who didn’t do much, and just kept to herself. Nobody understood or could comprehend it, but that didn't matter to them — you were the solace in their life.
You knew that they were still rough with people — mostly men — in high school, but you didn’t know you were the cause behind each act of violence that they performed. But it made sense, even as you built a timeline.
There was Teresa Doles; she had nitpicked at your appearance for weeks. When you had finally gone to Ellie and Abby about it, pictures of her partying, doing drugs, and medical records of her being in rehab had been leaked everywhere. Her family came from a prestigious lineage, and her reckless behavior put a great indent to it. She had to move to England.
Jonathan White had to be admitted to the hospital after an event for the school. Doctors said they found traces of drugs and poison in his system — which made you laugh because he said he would murder you for rejecting him for Junior prom. You recall him shouting at you, calling you a series of derogatory names, but paid no mind. Ellie and Abby weren’t happy when he told you such a thing.
Kayla Lynn was sent to the ER after her body had been found beaten and bloody in the bathroom. She was barely conscious, unrecognizable to those who found her — the doctors had to pull a tooth and fingerprints from her just to get an ID. You remembered how she bullied you for liking girls, calling you derogatory names, and even said she hoped you would be killed for it.
And you knew there just had to be more than those people. So many of your bullies either switched schools, dropped off the face of Earth, or were in physical therapy after you had told Abby and Ellie about what each of those people did to you.
You were too gullible and head over heels in love with the duo to know they were doing so much behind your back. You had been completely tuned in with love and the relationship, all you saw was them as your blessing.
They meant it when they said they would do anything for you.
“We handled it,” Ellie’s voice would play in your head from that morning. It would repeat itself like a broken record, never shutting up.
We handled it.
We handled it.
We murdered someone.
You didn’t know exactly why the murder scared you, or what provoked you to exactly take the shirt.
You were about to close your eyes until a knock tapped at your door. “Ma’am, it’s Carson,” he said, and you welcomed him in, sitting up on your bed.
You turned on the nightstand's lamp, and he gave you a small smile. “I found a way to submit the evidence without it being traced to you,” Carson said, and your heartbeat went still. “If only you’re wanting to give up the shirt, of course.”
“Well, that was quick,” you nervously laughed, staring down at your lap. “What’s the plan to turn it in?”
“I have trusted connections to the NYPD. Some officers work as guards like I do,” Carson reassured, and you hummed, chewing on your lower lip. “We can send the shirt to them as anonymous, and you won’t have to worry about the shipping coming back to you; it’ll be under my name.”
“Are you positive about that?”
“Absolutely, ma’am,” he said, and your body trembled, mind hazy. You knew it would be the moral thing to do; the guy harassed you, but Ellie and Abby could’ve done anything else besides murder.
The only murder you were aware of, of course.
These girls protected and defended you and your name. They would put the world on fire, yet never let a flame brush on your skin; they were the poisonous paradise you couldn’t see as Heaven or Hell.
You had to release them, though. You needed to grow up without them by your side, because you were more than them, and they were more than you.
And if the shirt didn’t get them anywhere, at least it was out of your grasp.
You got up from your bed, padding over to your suitcase and opened it up. You grabbed a brown paper bag, and held it close to your chest. “Please make sure I don’t get in trouble for this,” you said, pleading eyes looking into Carson’s soft ones.
He could tell you were beyond frightened. That you were just someone who didn’t mean to do this, that your kind heart thought you were doing something right.
You had absolutely nothing to do with this crime, but somehow, you looked ashamed and guilty as if you did. In a sense, you were — you called Abby about the guy, you knew very well what she was capable of. It was no secret how violent and cruel Abby and Ellie could be — physically or emotionally.
“You’re safe with me,” Carson promised, and you smiled small, hesitantly handing him the bag. “Are you sure about this?”
The bag was out of your hold, Carson grasping onto it. “They need to learn their lesson,” you said, all your logic and thoughts mixed up in your head, utterly brainless at this given rate. “And I just want them to stay out of my life for good.”
He just nodded, taking the bag with him as he exited the room, leaving you alone again.
You couldn’t sleep after that. You couldn’t even try to rest knowing you were going to ruin their lives, putting into consideration all they did for you.
But, you had just regained your freedom, discovered who you were without them. You were able to make friends without their eyes boring into your soul, you could live in peace.
You couldn’t accept anymore threats or violence, just so you could remain theirs forever. Because you knew if they truly loved you, they wouldn’t put you in harm's way.
You stared blankly at the ceiling, trapped in your mind when your phone had a sudden ring to it. Your heart stopped, and you froze, your body wanting to sink into the mattress.
You let your phone ring through, letting silence fall pass after the noise stopped.
Not even a minute ticked by as the phone rang again.
You reached for your device, answering the call and brought it up to your ear. “What?”
“So much attitude, little lamb. You’re going to hurt my feelings,” Ellie's voice came through, and you sighed, sitting up. “I’m starting to like this game. Because I know you’re fucking scared.”
You scoffed. “No I’m not. I’m just wanting you to leave me alone.”
“You can’t deal with the idea of what might happen if we catch you,” she began, and shivers cascaded on your body, holding in your breath. “You want to keep running, baby? I don’t mind the chase— it’s exhilarating.”
“You’re fucking sick.”
“You knew that, bunny,” Abby joined in, taking over the call. “Why are you acting so surprised? You fucking got off on how insane we got about you, don’t act clueless now.”
“I was naive,” you retorted. “I was manipulated and blinded by you two.”
“Manipulated? Big idea for you to get at,” she continued, and you heard Ellie’s cruel laugh in the background of the call. “You knew what you were doing when coming to us about your bullies. You knew what we all would get out of it.”
“Shut the fuck up,” you muttered.
“You liked us hurting you too, bunny,” she stated, and your breaths were becoming uneven. “Always in skimpy outfits, flirting with others to get our attention. We fucking saw through you. You’re just as sick as us.”
“Shut the fuck up, Abigail!”
“Using my full name? I’m so frightened,” Abby chuckled, amused and lightened by your poor intimidation act. “Got me shaking in my boots here, sweetheart.”
“I hope you die— both of you.”
“God forbid, right? Then who’ll take care of you?” Ellie returned into the conversation. “Not even that Delilah bitch could do it. Or Holly, Nicole, Emily, Zaya— no one.”
You fell quiet for a moment, your eyes widened in disbelief. “How do you know them?”
“Baby, we told you this,” Ellie reminded you, sighing. “If you were to leave us, we would get you again.”
You zipped your mouth, anxiety surging through you.
“Having fun at the Marmont?” Ellie asked, and you shot up from your bed. “Nice name you got— Emily Dickinson. Really… that name?”
“You’re fucking here?” You asked.
Ellie snickered. “Always in your corner.”
“I have people here, patrolling—“
“Oh, we get it, you fucking princess!” She yelled. “We know you have men, we aren’t idiots. For a valedictorian, you are sure fucking dense. You think you’re always one step ahead, but you aren’t.”
“Fuck you, Williams,” you sneered.
“See you real soon, lamb,” she said, and the call ended. You knew there was no point in trying to reach the number again, it was unknown and a useless line.
Ellie and Abby stood at the top of the hotel, Delilah beaten as cable ties strapped her wrists behind her back. “Alright, you bitch,” Abby picked up Delilah from the ground, adjusting the feeble girl on her feet.
“She’s…. she’ll hate you for this,” Delilah croaked out. “And no one will believe I’ve jumped to my death.” Her head was spinning, barely conscious enough to process what these two random, strange women wanted with her, or why they cared so much. She swore a second ago she was in her flat, sound asleep and relaxed, and now she was on top of the roof of the Chateau Marmont.
None of this made sense.
“We are going to share this little secret with you since you will be dying,” Ellie said, taking out a cigarette from her pocket. “You’re not the first person who has pleaded for their life, or thought their death wouldn’t be convincing. We do this all for her, and unfortunately, she does enjoy it.”
Delilah shook her head. “No, no. You don’t know her whatsoever.”
“She brought you here to your death, sweet Delilah,” Ellie continued on, puffing out a blow. “She knows that whoever tries to steal or touch her, will be either beaten or killed by us.”
“She wanted you dead,” Abby added, and Delilah broke into hysterical sobs. “And we do give our girl whatever she wants.”
Ellie cut off the cable ties, and Abby maneuvered the frail girl over to the ledge. “Anything else you need to say, honey?” Abby asked, and Delilah’s lips parted, prepared to speak. “I don’t give a shit,” the blonde said, pushing her off as her and Ellie watched attentively, grinning to themselves as Delilah’s body splat on the concrete, blood making a river around herself.
It wasn’t long until your guards were shouting, and there were sirens in the distance.
“Ma’am, there’s been an incident on the grounds,” Carson bursted into your room, and you swallowed thickly, your phone grasped in your hands.
You threw on a robe and your slippers, pushing your way through the men. “Let me go!” You shouted, Carson being the one to shove them off. “I need to see what happened outside!”
“It’s for your safety that you don’t!” One of the men, Jackson, protested, but Carson seized your arm, and tugged you outside by your bicep.
“We listen to her,” he reminded the group as they all followed you outside. You could hear a wave of voices and distress, police officers talking to one another. In your gut, you knew something wasn’t right, and you were overwhelmed with nausea.
The noise drew you closer to the entrance of the hotel, where a symphony of shouts were clattering, and police lights mixed into the moon’s gleam. A part of you told yourself to get back into your abode, but you couldn’t help yourself. Your feet tugged your forward, curiosity tingling in your body.
You shoved yourself through a heavy crowd, officers trying to get everyone to back away or stop filming what was happening.
“Excuse me!” You yelled, and pulled yourself further in.
You regretted listening to yourself for another time. Fiery and stressed voices shifted into echoes, banging off the earth’s walls, your eyes struck open by a corpse splashed on the pavement.
Your heart beated in your throat, vomit coating it, and knots twisted in your stomach.
Delilah.
Delilah was on the ground. In front of you.
Your brain didn’t dare register any part of the gory, morbid scene that was plastered in front of you. Blood pooled around her head, her scalp visibly cracked open and her eyes open. You swore she was staring at you, everything in you shaking and trembling with great fear.
“Ma’am, get back!” An officer shouted at you, taking you out of your trance. “Please, this is a crime scene!”
“I… I know her,” you stated, and Carson approached your side. “That’s my friend— her name is Delilah Morse.”
“Please sir, let us get through,” Carson chimed in, and the officer sighed, shaking his head. “This is someone she knows. Only she’ll give you details.”
The officer went to discuss with another official, and your hand buzzed. You flinched to it, not realizing you kept your phone in your hold.
You received a message from Unknown.
Unknown: Want to keep playing, baby?
Unknown: Look at you, so scared and sick. It’ll stop once you give up.
A tear from you covered the screen, and Carson had to push you out of your stare. “Ma’am, let’s go,” he said, and you had not realized the officer was holding up the caution tape to let you through.
You heard a female’s voice come to the side of you. “I’m Detective Anna Blake. What’s your name, and relationship to the victim, miss?”
You stated your name, your voice hush and shaky as you couldn’t look away from Delilah’s body.
“And your relationship?” Anna asked.
“We… I was her friend,” you answered. “What… what did she do?”
“It looks like an apparent suicide,” she responded, and that was enough for her to gain your full attention, a confused expression plastered on your face. “She dropped from the rooftop, and ate it right here.”
“That can’t be,” you shook your head. “Delilah wasn’t at all suicidal, or had any ideations. She was the most positive person I knew.”
“Yeah, but people have personas,” Anna stated, and you furrowed your brows. “She could’ve been acting for you, and everyone else.”
“She’s from London, Detective,” you said, and she stared at you appalled, but intrigued. “She wouldn’t kill herself here.”
Anna was quiet for a sparse second. “Huh… do you know something we don’t?”
Why couldn’t you just shut the fuck up?
There was an open entrance for the vehicles to come through, and for a moment, you swore you saw Ellie and Abby standing across the street.
You knew their silhouettes. And they were watching you, witnessing their crime.
You stared at them back, because now you accepted the truth that no matter where you ran off, that would be there. They would create mess and murder back to back until you gave up the running, and realized you only belonged to them.
Fear was a disease in you, and the only way to kill it was to face them.
Your mother wanted you back in New York. She gave you no choice but to attend the Gala with her and your father.
You tried your best to talk your way out of it, explaining that you had just witnessed your best friend’s corpse the previous evening.
Your mother said the Gala would be a great distraction. You tried to make any point or excuse to stay home, until your father had himself step into the argument. He tended to never insert himself into fights with you and your mom, but this time he felt the need to, and that’s when you were left with no choice.
Of course, your main concern was that Ellie and Abby were going to be there, and confronting them was going to be an inevitable situation. You had to prepare yourself the most as to what to say or do if they were to be in your eye radius.
“This dress is killing me,” you muttered, patting down the bottom part of the simple, yet elegant dress you wore. “And the corset of this is smashing my boobs.”
“Your dress is lovely, dear,” your mother assured, and you scowled. “You have always loved long dresses like this; so long at the bottom, we can’t even see your heels. And you always adored sleeveless corset tops on them, too!”
“You look perfect, honey. You wore this exact dress for junior prom,” your dad reminded, and you shivered to the memory of it. Abby and Ellie were your escort — of course — and everyone adored your dress, even making it into a page in Vogue because it was Vivienne Westwood.
“I just… I don’t want to see them,” you muttered, and the limousine came to a halt. “And it just doesn’t feel right being here, having fun and socializing, when my friend just fucking died.”
“Cherie, Delilah’s death was not your fault or anything,” your mother said, and you glared at her. “It is unfortunate it took place at the same time you were there, but she was just an unhappy girl.”
You didn’t want to converse with her anymore, only getting out of the car before any of them, and were immediately blinded by flashing lights. Your parents stood behind you, and you fixed up a promising smile, making your way into the gala.
The second cameras and screaming men were out of your way, you hunted down a busboy for a glass of champagne. “I will take that!” You grabbed the drink from the silver tray, thanking the man, and earned a groan from your parents.
“Can you at least greet people before you get wasted?” Your father asked, and you shrugged, letting him drag you over to the familiar faces of Jerry Anderson and Joel Miller. You hadn’t seen them since the few days before the murder.
“Ah, there she is!” Jerry exclaimed, and you exchanged a cheek kiss with him, and Joel. “We heard you moved to London. Oxford, right?”
“Yes. It’s been quite delightful,” you shortly shared. “I finished exams early, so I came back into town for the meantime.”
“And do you plan to catch up with the girls?” Joel asked.
You knew at that moment that no one quite understood what really took place that night, and you would never confess to it. They all blindly assumed that there was a great falling out in response to the murder of Brandon James, that you simply didn’t tolerate that behavior, and in some parts of that, it was true.
You had no place or reason to tell the whole truth, or to be honest, when there was an exact, appropriate place to share such a thing. Yet however, if you did, no one would believe you — there was no evidential proof or key to say that Ellie and Abby killed him.
They thought the girls were saints, who were being wronged by another higher power.
The actual case would have them dropping to the ground, and you couldn’t exactly say, “Abby and Ellie are sadistic killers who get off to the pain and torture.”
God fucking forbid, though.
“I’m not so sure,” you answered, taking a light sip of your champagne. “I want to keep to myself for the meantime, and make more goals for my future.”
“Well, if they came tonight, I’m sure it would’ve been lovely,” Jerry said, and you dryly laughed with them.
Champagne wasn’t enough to fill the hollow in you. You needed the strongest shit to exist at the bar.
You had a clear cue to let yourself leave their conversation, leaving you alone in the event. You went to the bar, and sat there, requesting a martini. You put your clutch purse in front of you, and sighed heavily, a migraine coming to your head.
You weren’t used to going to these high class functions by yourself — hell, you didn’t even go until the girls became a part of your life, and would be by your side at each and every one of them. It made your parents happy that they were there to tug you out of your shell, make you more extroverted.
A figure sat at the chair next to you, yet you didn’t pay any mind to it.
Until they said your name, and the voice was familiar.
Your eyes flickered to the side, and you saw Dina. Your eyes widened, your body directing toward her, and she smiled. “How have you been!” She cheered, pulling you into a hug, and you could only hug back. “You fell off the face of planet Earth!”
“Oh, yeah,” you broke the hug, facing her. “I… I decided to do school at Oxford. I just needed to get out of the city.”
“Oxford is nice,” she said, smiling small. “Jesse and I were worried about you. The girls said you had broken up with them.”
You gawked at her in disbelief as she went on to order herself a drink.
Who else was fucking clueless?
“Well, I guess,” you mumbled, your martini set down in front of you. “We just had issues we couldn’t resolve from the night before.”
“Oh shit, that sucks,” she sighed, shaking her head. “The breakup must have been terrible to have you move to London.”
Her glass of tequila on rocks came to her as she took a refreshing sip of it, and you were about to claw out your eyes. Either she had brain damage, was lying, or truly wasn’t aware of what occurred that night, but must have since it happened at Jesse’s club.
“Dina Woodward, be fucking serious with me,” you said, and she raised a brow. “You know what happened. That night.”
She blankly stared at you.
“That night… at your boyfriend’s club…”
Dina shrugged, and you were taken aback. “Jesse must know, then.”
“Ellie and Abby were accused of a serious crime,” she began, and you bitterly scoffed, “which they were found innocent to. They had to go through that trial alone, they went through Hell without you.”
“They killed him, Dina,” you told her, yet lowered your voice due to the gossip crowd that circulated. “You cannot seriously be defending them.”
“I’m not defending them,” Dina stated, and you rolled your eyes, downing your martini. “They have plenty of enemies, and you know that, too. Everyone wants to see them at their absolute worst, and do their own dirty work to make it happen.”
You got up from your seat, grabbing your purse. “It was nice seeing you, Dina.”
You shoved your way through the bustling crowd, and were stuck in the middle as soon as your phone began to buzz.
“Not this shit again,” you mumbled to yourself, and pulled out your phone, putting it up to your ear. “What the fuck can I do for you?”
“You look pretty, sweetheart,” Ellie said. “Don’t you worry, we aren’t in your vicinity.”
“Oh, I’m so fucking pleased to hear that,” you exasperated, rubbing your temple in frustration. “Then how do you know I’m here?”
“You’re right, my apologies,” Ellie laughed, and you heard rustling over the line.
“Bunny, we are going to play a game,” Abby came to the line, and your heart jumped rapidly. “We can see you, but we’ve made sure you can’t catch a glimpse of us.”
“What do you want?” You asked.
“You still don’t get it, darling. But that’s okay,” she took a hast pause, collecting her thoughts. “We told you many times that if you were to run, we would catch you, because you are ours. You can hide, change your name, go to different universities, but we will always be there.”
You swallowed thickly, knowing you were getting stares to your frightened look on your face.
“Your parents don’t give a shit about you, they only kept you away so their image wouldn’t be ruined,” she said, and you knew that was more than true; your parents would do anything to remain prestigious and clean, and you were the taint in their life. “You said you kept that shirt to return the favor, but there’s more than that.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about, Anderson,” you scoffed, and she hummed. “I gave that shirt away; you and Ellie are going to prison for good.”
“We’ll see about that, bunny,” she said, and the line went flat. You rushed yourself to the ladies room, nausea building in you as the room spun, and your nerves weakened your muscles. Laughter and shouts from strangers rang in your ears as you dragged yourself further to the bathroom, and the sickening gut feeling came back to you.
You couldn’t pull apart if you were truly just sick to your stomach, or your intuition was stronger than ever.
You pushed the door open to the ladies room, and to your luck, it was completely empty. You lunged yourself into a stall, and collapsed down on your knees, yucking it up into the toilet. Your anxiety and worry got the best of you, making you a mess so easily, and you were embarrassed by it.
You stood up after a few minutes, taking in slow, steady breaths, and gathered yourself, standing back up. You moved over to the sink, and settled your purse down, opening it up to grab your lipstick. You rinsed out your mouth with the faucet water, and sighed heavily, turning off the sink.
You reapplied your scarlet red lipstick, and put the item back into your purse, along with your phone.
Then a click was made from the side of you, gaining your attention.
The nausea came back, but not in a wave, yet in a violent crash. You swore your heart stopped for a moment, but could hear it violently beat in your eardrums while bile stung inside your throat, threatening to come out again.
Your body trembled, knees about to bring you down, and all you wanted to do was die at this very moment.
“Hey, little lamb,” Ellie said, grinning in pride. Your body pressed back against the sink’s counter, and tears approached over your eyes as you stared at her. “What’s the matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?”
“No… no,” you said, able to take yourself to the bathroom’s entrance. You opened it, only to be met with Abby instead, a wicked smile playing on her lips. “You are both not here.”
“Oh, but we are,” Abby said, moving forward in sync to your steps going backwards. She maintained a fairly safe distance, but one close enough to grab you if you tried to run. “Why so surprised, bunny? We promised this.”
Something about them was gravely different this time. There was a darker energy to them, a sense of evil and anger heating off of them as they stared at you down in the way the predator does when they have finally cornered their prey.
Yes, they got you, and you had no way out anymore — what a fucking terrifying and cruel revalation.
The cat got their little mouse, right by the tail.
You had fallen right into their trap perfectly, in all the ways they wanted you to. It took great cunning patience and practice to get you in this position, to have you trapped.
You were beyond scared; this was the reoccurring nightmare you dreamt of since the night you left. You always tried to consider or plan out what you would do if they were to approach you in any way, but you never paid mind to how methodical and intelligent they were.
You doubted their skills and abilities, and you were dumb to think they wouldn’t get you any time soon, that you would be free from them for a few more months, maybe a year or two – maybe even a lifetime — you wished and prayed upon it.
You were stuck now. The cat and mouse game came to their precise ending.
“Are you going to kill me now?” You asked, and they hummed, shrugging to themselves.
“Well, if we wanted that, we would have done it back in LA,” Abby said, and your eyes averted back and forth between them, trying to see if there was a possible way out. “Or back in London, who knows. We had so many open opportunities to kidnap you, but we liked this little game.”
“Is that what you’re planning to do now? Kidnap me?” You asked, snickering dryly. “Keep me hostage forever? Wouldn’t be anything new to me.”
“Don’t act like you didn’t like it,” Ellie told you, tilting her head to the side. “You liked this claim we have on you. You will never admit it and that’s okay, because we know it, baby.”
“Now let’s not be so rude,” Abby said, and you glanced at her. “Let’s say bye to our guests, and go back home, little bunny.”
Ellie and Abby had seemed to have enough time to decorate the penthouse. To your last memory of it, only the shared bedroom was furnished, and now, they had everything perfectly perched in precise spots.
You sat in the living room, on the black velvet couch as you stared out the window with a mindfulness of thoughts. The city was bustling, sirens louder than ever, and traffic stacked up. You tried to concentrate on the noise outside because it would be last time you would hear it.
The pair had finished fixing themselves up a drink, returning to the room, and sat across from you. You didn’t pay attention to them, fits of rage and terror consuming you inside. You don’t know why you thought you would actually escape them, and you had only dug yourself in a deep grave.
The familiar silence moved through the home, and you could feel their eyes spiking into you, waiting for you to say something. You had more than to say and ask, but you didn’t know where exactly to start, or if you were allowed to question certain things.
“You killed Delilah,” you blurted out, your eyes averting from the window. “You killed Brandon James, and many others, I assume.”
“We have,” Ellie answered, drinking her bourbon.
“I don’t get why. Why do you kill people? How do you even get away with it?” You asked, and Abby glanced over at Ellie, communicating to each other through their eyes. “Are you in like a fucking cartel or some shit?”
“Joel didn’t have an easy time getting to where he is,” Ellie began, setting her glass down, and slouched back on the couch. “He has some connections, and so does Jerry. It’s hard to get into it all, but they were doing illegal shit on the side to get money, build their legacies.”
“We didn’t kill until you,” Abby said, and you raised a brow, positioning your body in their direction. They could tell you were now intrigued, and you were; you were more than curious. “It was two months into knowing you, and you told us about Rachel Wayne. Remember her?”
“Of course I do. That bitch bullied me like it was her life’s purpose,” you lightly joked, and she sighed. “Why?”
“It was the day when she beat you in the girl’s bathroom, ramming your face into the blow dryer all because you got a higher score on your SAT,” Abby said, and you hissed at the memory. You were a good fighter, but Rachel’s envy possessed her strength that day, and she kicked you around like an animal in the bathroom.
She locked the door, keeping her friends, you, and herself locked in, while they recorded the whole moment. You went home with a concussion, a busted face, and cried to the girls about it.
“We were so fucking pissed,” Ellie said, scoffing to herself. “We knew Rachel well. We invited her over to my place, and made small talk, getting the information out of her about what occurred. We got names, and everything.”
You remained quiet, but stayed tuned in and fully focused.
“We got her high off cocaine, and once she was zoned out, we beat the fuck out of her,” she explained, and your heart thumped against your chest, about to pop out. “She was crying, and screaming; but it made us think of how that was you previously because of her. Our anger overrode us to the edge, and we started cracking her body in. We didn’t know we had killed her until she was completely fucking limp.”
“Those who had the video were dealt with too,” Abby assured. “If they refused to delete it, we made sure their lives would be ruined, their parents would be left with nothing. We knew how to obliterate these spoiled fucks.”
“Are you serious?” You asked. It was rumored that Rachel ran away to her boyfriend in Spain, and refused to come back because her parents were assholes to her, and just a straight disappointment to them. “How did you clean up your tracks?”
“Well, I called Joel in a panic, and told him everything,” Ellie answered, finishing her drink. “Joel told Abby and I to get ourselves cleaned up, and these men came over like an hour later, picking up after us.”
“They wiped our phones and tracks completely,” Abby said, and slid you forward her glass of whiskey. “And then we did it again, and Joel quickly realized we were doing it for you. He saw that you were our purpose, so he let us use his connections, and everything.”
“He was worried everything was going to collapse the second the cops came about Brandon,” Ellie recalled, and took out a fresh cigarette. “That was a mess we had to fix, of course. Like, I’d never seen Joel so pissed off before, it was insane.”
“How did you get away with the murder?” You questioned.
“Easy shit,” Abby laughed, shrugging. “He had himself in rough, bad business. We basically found someone who he owed money to, planted all the evidence and shit on that dude.”
“Now that motherfucker is serving life,” Ellie lit up the stick, inhaling sharply. “We made sure it wouldn’t come back to us.”
“But the shirt,” you reminded them, and they stared at you for a moment before aweing at your little tactic. “The shirt is with the cops.”
“Is it, though?” Abby teased, and a faint ding of the penthouse elevator chimed, footsteps approaching into the living room. “Right on time, too! God, I fucking love dramatics.”
Your eyes shifted to the noise, a broad and muscular figure walking to everyone; and you swore it was the night you were going to go into shock, or have an aneurysm.
Carson stood before you with the shirt in a clear zipped bag, and Abby stood up. “Thank you so much,” she grinned, and Ellie shook his head. “Your money has been transferred to your offshore account.”
“What the fuck?” You blurted, Carson directing his eyes towards you. “You knew?”
“I’m the one who’s been cleaning up their messes,” he admitted, and Abby opened up the bag, taking out the shirt. “It didn’t take much to convince your parents to hire me. I just needed a believable resume.”
You shot up from the couch, staring him down. “You told them where I was at, and everything! You are a fucking narc!”
“I didn’t have to tell them anything,” Carson dryly chuckled, amused by your terrified expression. “They were able to do that all on their own; I just gave them the starting point, and left it at that.”
You smacked him, the skin contact echoing in the home. He only laughed, finding you childish and weak, and shrugged. “I’ll have you fucking killed!”
“Loved to see you try,” he said, and took his exit, waving to the pair. You stared at where he was in utter shock, widely appalled with slight betrayal hitting your heart. You had trusted Carson wholeheartedly, felt secure and safe with him, and it all was a blinding lie.
Ellie started up the fireplace, and your eyes flickered to the ghostly fire. “No, no!” You shouted, trying to seize the shirt from Abby, but the auburn haired girl entrapped you in her hold, forcing you to watch the shirt to be burned.
“You know, I hope you start to learn tonight,” Abby tossed the shirt into the fire, and you wailed, thrashing in Ellie’s arms, yet it was pointless; in every way, they would always be stronger, you being a weakling.
The shirt crinkled and disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Ellie let go of you, and you glared at her. “We aren’t done talking,” she settled you back on the couch, and Abby brought a glass of chardonnay to you. “Now we want our answers.”
“I’ll fuck you up!” You spat, and they tried not to laugh. “What else shit do you have to say?”
“What did you expect to happen when you came to us about your bullies?” Abby asked, genuine and engrossed. “Did you think we would just have chit chats?”
You took a second to yourself, and you stared down at your lap, fidgeting at your dress. Before Abby and Ellie came into your life for good, they were notorious at the academy, and held that title with such pride. You knew what they were capable of, what they could do, and you saw them as your defenders from everything.
Did a part of you know what you were doing? Yes, but not that it would lead them to murder. You never understood or knew why they were so fixated on you, even before they decided to lure you into their lives. They had been riveted by you, and there was not a clear indication as to why, but you used it to your full advantage.
Your parents didn’t care about you, and they knew that. All three of you played a dangerous, deadly role in the relationship; it was volatile and brutal, but it was all you had, and they were all you wanted.
You spent so much time running and hiding from them, you never took a particular moment to realize your role in everything. You took that shirt because it was a part of you; you had Brandon killed, he was a deadman the second you called Abby about him.
You were just as guilty as them, you were just as part of their games and murder.
No one else was going to do this for you, nobody would burn and tear apart the Earth just to have you in their grasp again.
“There’s our girl,” Abby cooed, and you looked up at them, tears in your eyes. “You finally understand. After these years, now it has come to you.”
“You gave us the cards, we just played them the way you liked,” Ellie said, and you downed the chardonnay, exhaling shakily as you set it down. “We knew you were too much like us, we couldn’t deny you anymore. We had to have you.”
“Every time you said we handled it,” you sucked in a hard, jagged breath, “was that code for ‘we killed someone”?”
“What else would it mean, princess?” She mused, burning her cigarette out alas in the ashtray on the coffee table.
A silence slowly creeped into the room, crinkling of the fire and outside traffic filling it as it lasted what felt like moments.
“You know the first time we say you — God, we just knew we had to have you,” Abby spoke, and your eyes trained focused on them. “You hypnotized us by simply existing, by being in our vicinity. It was like we were blessed to come across one of God’s angels.”
You were always sure that they were attracted to you because you simply co-existed within their class status, and because they knew you were the only girl at Faye Academy that wasn’t corrupted or tainted. You were like this fresh breath for them to use — and you still thought like that after everything they had done for you, and even prove that they did love you beyond your body.
“Why me?” You asked.
“We don’t know what you did to simply draw us in, but we couldn’t resist. Every time I saw you in class, in your nicely ironed pleated skirt, in your dark blue polo sweater… your makeup done so pretty…” Ellie reminisced, a crude grin playing onto her lips as she recalled the first moment she laid eyes on you. “You were so pure, so perfect for us. It was no longer about wanting you, it was about needing you — we had to; everyday that passed by where you weren’t in our grasp, we could almost die from it.”
“You will never truly know how much you have us at our knees for you, sweetheart, and that’s okay,” Abby said, and you sucked in a sharp breath, not knowing you had been barely breathing the entire time they spoke about you. “But understand the risks we would go through for you; we live and breathe you. We crave and yearn for you, despite the fact you are already ours. What is our purpose if you simply don’t exist in our lives?”
There was not much you could say to that, only able to break down. They sat up from the couch, and Ellie reached her hand out for yours, softly looking at you.
“Let’s go upstairs, baby,” she gently spoke to you, and peered up, hesitantly interlocking your fingers with hers. She walked you with her, Abby trailing close behind as an easy quietude settled in place, though your sniffles were the only thing to be heard.
Walking into the bedroom, you were momentarily paralyzed by the memory of your last moment in it. You were on that same bed when you put all the pieces together, and had left them with no letter or anything; you took your absence, and that was that.
Ellie guided you over to the wall mirror, her and Abby brushing up close on your back, the two attentively admiring you. “We would do anything for you, sweet girl,” Abby said, and your sobs slowly came to a halt. “We’ll always happily be your executioner, for the rest of our lives.”
“You’re our girl,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “But I think you need a fresh reminder of what you put us through.” Her hand hid behind her for a moment, grabbing something from the back of her jeans. A gun came into your vision, and your breath hitched, but she kept it by her side.
Your neck was met with Abby’s soft lips, her warm breath fanning against your skin, and her fingers loosened the strings of the corset. You softly moaned, Ellie fixated on the sight of you easily falling apart to Abby’s kissing, and grinned to herself. “Doesn’t take much to have you under us,” she said, and you eyed her, nodding.
The dress was undone, and easily dropped off your body, the duo getting the view they had longed for all this time. You were bare and exposed, only in underwear, and a primal urge had shadowed over them, wanting to ruin you without any thought.
“Oh, bunny,” Abby whispered. “Just as perfect as we remembered.”
Her lips separated from your marked neck, and you whimpered as Ellie pressed her gun to your abdomen. “What a sweet sight that I will never get tired of,” she mumbled, kissing your cheek. “Seeing you fucking petrified as if we will kill you at any moment.”
“But you won’t,” you retorted. “Right?”
“No,” she promised as the gun was slowly dragged to your temple, and she clicked the trigger, only for the barrel to be empty. You flinched to the trigger, your heart racing. “But we will hurt you, I can assure you that, little lamb.”
She used the gun to steer you to the foot of the bed. “On your fucking knees,” Abby demanded, and you collapsed to them, your knees thudding against the cold, hard granite tiles. “Anytime you stop, we use this gun, and you can find out yourself if the barrel is cleaned out.”
“Yes, mommy,” you muttered, and they amusingly hummed. Ellie kept the gun in position, using one hand to unbuckle her belt, and strip off her jeans as Abby did the same. It was a rare thing for them to have their straps under their pants, only if they knew they would have to handle you at any given moment, and this was one of them. You were going to come crawling back, and they were prepared for it, to claim and destroy you all in one.
“Mama gets to have you first,” Ellie said, and you parted your mouth open, Abby’s stuffing your mouth full with her cock, careless to your gagging. She had her way with you, her hand holding the top of your head as she thrusted herself into your mouth, trying your best to not pull back and gasp for air. The gun was there to keep you place, and you couldn’t ignore how it pressed deeply into the side of your head.
“That’s right, baby. Fuckin’ whore,” Abby said, and you tried to best out of your nose, desperate for more air. You used whatever strength you had, forcing your head back, and engulfed amounts of oxygen into your lungs. “What the fuck did we say?”
The trigger was pressed, and your ears rang with it. Empty, again.
“You’ve been away too long, princess,” Ellie said, and Abby retrieved your head, your mouth filled with the silicone object again. “Was too busy fucking other girls, huh? I bet they couldn’t make you like this; I can see you fucking dripping through your panties.”
Your arousal was a wildfire in you, spreading through your stomach, and down into your thighs. You could feel the mess you were making, seemingly ashamed and embarrassed how you got wet from their threats, with a gun pointed to you that was possibly clipped.
“There she is, now you are being good,” Abby praised, her thumb pressing away the tears that fell on your apple cheeks. “Always doing your best for us, hm? Knew you missed us too, baby.”
Ellie crouched down to your level, the gun lined up under your head as her grin turned into a twisted smirk. “All that we did for you, little one,” she mocked a frown, sighing. “And you just ran away like that? Coming home to find you gone, and betraying us?”
You were lightheaded and dizzy, your mind hazy, yet tried to stay focused. Your moans and whimpers gargled in your throat, drool running out of the corners of your mouth, and falling down onto your breasts.
“You belong to us, and you better start getting that through your fucking skull,” Ellie seethed, her bitter fury coating her mind. “You are only hurting yourself by doing the shit you do. A fucking brat you are.”
Abby decided to give up on you, your mouth hollow and free. She grabbed you by your throat, a sinister shade lingering in her eyes, and air whistled through her teeth. “Little bunny, you have no clue what you’ve done to yourself.”
You were put in the middle of the bed, and Ellie looked at her gun. “Let’s see if she can still take us,” she said, and Abby hummed, nodding. Ellie adjusted herself in between your legs, shoving them open, and stripped off your underwear, moaning at the sight of your cunt. “Fucking hell. She’s fucking soaking, babe.”
Abby had bunched ropes in her hand, kneeling into the bed, and stared at your cunt. “What a sick bitch you are, bunny,” she teased, running a finger down your slick folds, and you whined. “All of this from a gun, Ellie. She fucking loves it.”
Nothing else was said as Abby grasped onto your legs, and pushed your legs up against your chest. Her hands gripped on your wrists, having you hug the underneath of your legs, and made sure you kept yourself locked in the placement.
Ellie tied your wrists together, tight enough to not cut off any blood supply, and then went on to your ankles, knotting them in one. She used another string of rope to connect your ankles to your wrists, making your position trapped and stuck.
“We don’t want to hear you enjoying this,” Ellie said, and gave the gun over to Abby as the blonde sat herself in front of you. Ellie took off her strap, letting it drop to the ground, and took off her underwear, only to move herself over your face. She carefully lowered herself down on, and her aching cunt met your mouth as you obediently sucked and ran your tongue on it.
Abby slowly slipped the gun into you, yet you were soaked enough to let it easily be fucked into you. She pressed down onto your stomach as she rammed the cold weapon into your pussy, and you tried to muzzle your needy noises, tending to Ellie’s needs.
The auburn girl rutted herself against your mouth, eliciting shaky moans and cursed under her breath. “Yeah, just like that, sweetheart,” she muttered, looking over at Abby while she continued to fist the gun into you.
You lathered Ellie’s slick on your tongue, pleased how it dripped over your lips as you moaned to the sweet taste of her. If your wrists weren’t restrained, you would keep your arms around her thighs just to eat her out for hours on end.
Abby and Ellie were intensely dominant, it was unwonted when you gave them pleasure. They were refusing about it, saying that you were the one who needed to be desired and tended to whenever you wanted to be.
You couldn’t tell if you were immensely desperate or if the gun was fucking you so well, that you were already at the peak of your climax. You denied your orgasm, needing to get Ellie to hers, and harshly ate her out, fucking her hole with your tongue, sending her into a moaning, pleading mess for you.
“Oh shit, sweetheart— yeah, keep going,” she softly moaned. “Being such a good girl for daddy, gonna make sure to cum in your pretty mouth.”
“She’s making a mess on your gun and sheets,” Abby said, and for a moment, your cunt was not filled until she pushed her cock into you. “There we fuckin’ go, this is exactly what she needs.”
Ellie craned her body near Abby, the two kissing each other in a sloppy manner as the blonde roughly fucked into you. Abby kept her close as Ellie’s jagged moans and whines breathed into her mouth, doing all she could to keep herself up and close.
“You going to cum, baby, hm?” Abby asked, and Ellie moaned against her lips, nodding. “Go on, cum for us. You can do it.”
Ellie’s orgasm came crashing down as she squirmed and cried out, twitching on your mouth. Ellie pushed herself up, kneeling beside your head and leaned down to kiss you, both of you moaning at the taste of her. You sucked on each other’s tongues, Ellie slipping her hand down your stomach, and made way in between your thighs, rubbing your cunt.
She broke apart the kiss, her free hand gripping onto your jaw to make forced eye contact, and spat into your mouth. “Make us proud, baby. Want you to give daddy a good one,” she whispered, and you kept your eyes trained into hers as Abby pounded herself deeper into you, the squelching noises of your slick mixing in with your whimpers and throaty moans.
“So fucking tight, never gonna get enough of this perfect pussy,” Abby breathed, her hands squeezing the back of your thighs. “Made just for us, sweet girl. Everything about you was made for us to worship and ruin.”
“No one fucked you like this back in London, huh?” Ellie asked, and you shook your head. “Oh, I know, sweetheart. Probably had to get off all by yourself while you thought of us, too.”
“Just… just thought of you two the entire time,” you confessed, brows knitted together. “I need you so bad, ‘m sorry.”
“We’re here, baby,” she said, kissing the side of your head. “Next time you try to escape, you’ll absolutely fucking regret it. Got that?”
You nodded, and a warm sensation kindled in the pits of your stomach, knowing the familiar feeling. You squirmed, and Abby glanced over at Ellie. “If she doesn’t understand, we’ll just beat it into her,” she said, making it a sincere promise, and a chaste kiss was made to your forehead. “I would hate to do that, but it might just happen.”
Your approaching orgasm made it too troubling to know if they would harm you in such a way, but you were at the point that you couldn’t put it past them.
“Cum for mommy,” Abby insisted, and you moaned, your hips jittering as your climax broke out of you, broken moans escaping from you. “That was fucking nothing, you crybaby.”
The cum from her strap leaked with yours, dripping out of your hole, and making a puddle in the bedsheets. She unknotted the ropes, tossing them to the ground shortly after, and massaged your wrists.
You laid there for a second before bursting out in a fit of laughter, the two confused by it.
“What?” Ellie bluntly asked.
“Surprised you even let me cum,” you said, laughing a little more. “Usually you have me work for it.”
Abby and Ellie looked at each other before their eyes went back to you as they puckered their lips in thought nodding to themselves. Ellie picked you up from the bed, and brought a violent backhand slap to your cheek, halting your laughter altogether.
“You want to keep fucking laughing!” She yelled, giving you another one. “You are even fucking lucky we are touching you. We could have had you strapped to a vibrator for hours, and hit you every time you tried to cum.” Your lightness turned into sobs, and you stared at her through glossy vision, your pout shaking on your lips. They had simply run over their limit and patience with you, and you no longer doubted the sadism they would lay on you.
Abby just stood by, soaking in your tears and how easy it was to crack you. It was enough for the both of them to get off. She took you from Ellie, putting your arms behind your back as her chest brushed up against it, and Ellie took off her shirt, harnessing back on her strap.
God, I know you hate me, you thought to yourself. But please, have mercy on me.
Abby spat down your ass, using the saliva as lubrication, and dipped you down onto her strap, your ass hole brutally being stretched open. She kept you steady and positioned right for Ellie, who was not far behind as she shoved her cock into you.
“Ride us, bitch,” Abby said, and you obliged, hissing under your breath. The pain lasted longer than you thought, tears flooding into your ears while their size brutalized your cunt. “Such a sensitive cry baby. So easy for us to break you.”
Your head fell back on her shoulder, looking up at her. “Please, mama. ‘M sorry, I’ll be so good for you.”
Ellie grabbed your jaw, a violent smack struck against your cheek. “You enjoy lying to us, all the fuckin’ time. We should’ve disposed of you a while ago, see how you would’ve done without us.”
“What a pity that would be,” Abby taunted, laughing breathily in your laugh. As they found humor at the thought of you being a lost lamb without them, you were ripping at the seams as you went on to ride them at a gentle pace for you, the discomfort shifting into grand pleasure. “I would like to see that. Maybe next time we will leave, have you feel what we did.”
“No no!” You cried, shaking your head, and broke into hysterical sobs. “Didn’t mean to go, swear I didn’t.”
“Yeah,” Ellie jested, that eerie smirk of hers resting on her lips. “Because who will put up with you? Make you feel like this? Give into your fucking sick desires?”
“That’s why you’re perfect for us,” Abby noted, her hand creeping up to your neck, and viciously gripped on your throat. “Just as twisted and fucked in the head as us, more than you’d care to admit. No one will want or need you the way we do.”
You refused to deny them that. They were what you craved, they were the epitome of your lust and dreams, everything you yearned for, and were the helping hand to expose who you were to yourself. You would’ve done the same as them if they tried to leave; you would fucking slaughter those who they cared for just to have them again.
A match made in the ninth circle of Hell.
Your next high came to you, making it easily known as your noises got high pitched, making it an indicator. “Let me cum, please,” you pleaded, sobbing. “Want to cum, I need to— I’ll do anything you want.”
“We like you this way, stupid whore,” Abby said, and made the gun useful again, pointing it to your ribcage. “You cum, I pull the trigger.”
You body tensed, and you nodded, trying to ignore your unbearable high as it was becoming raw ecstasy to you. Your thighs trembled, about to give up on you, and you looked at Ellie through wettened eyelashes, your face drenched with tears and sweat.
The bedroom was rare filth, you could smell sin and vices burning through it. Your life was in their hands in every literal sense, but you wouldn’t have it any other way; you would rather die than not have them, and if that meant they would have to kill you themselves, you would let them. You were utterly nothing without them, and they knew it, too.
You had all the fucking wealth and privilege in the world to be someone, but you couldn’t be if they weren’t there on your side. You were them, and they were you. Your souls were eternally intertwined, and no matter where you went, you would always come back to them because they were it. They were all you sought out for.
Despite their desecration and souls being planted from Hell, they were Heaven and all things bliss.
You needed them. You would always need them.
You were winded out of your head as your orgasm stung inside of you, crying to be freed. You sobbed with it, shaking your head, but had to consider the gun that was indented into your skin. You had not known how much was passing when holding in your cum, but you couldn’t take it, and it was easily making you fall apart.
“Mommy, please!” You cried, blubbering in your tears. “I have to— ahh, please! I can’t do it, I can’t!”
“Yes you can, and you will, you fucking whore,” Ellie argued. “Unless you want to find out if the next shot has a bullet in it.”
You shook your head, and continued to break into sobs, your orgasm threatening to be released at the edge of you. It was becoming too much, your vision was blurring, and your heart was overwhelmed, almost frightened you would have a heart attack of some sort.
Ellie and Abby gave in, violently and recklessly pounding into you, putting your riding to a complete stop. You placed your hands on Ellie’s shoulders for support, Abby’s nails clawing into your throat as she continued to hold onto it for leverage while she maintained to hold you at gunpoint.
Utter euphoria rode over you, your eyes rolling to the inside of your head, and your back perfectly arched, crying out for the both of them. Your nails scratched at Ellie’s skin, your eyes getting a hast look at her fucking your cunt. Your noises and voice grated like rust at the back of your throat, breaths shuddering in your ribcage.
“You want to fucking cum, bunny?” Abby breathily asked. “Cry for it more if you really want it, sweetheart.”
“Mama, please!” You sobbed loudly, your mewls and cries faltering in your cries. “Want to be full of you, need to be bred by you two, please. Make me a pretty mommy for you, keep me trapped with you.”
They fucking lost it on you, ferociously driving themselves deeper into your wet, abused holes, and were coming to their own high. “Yeah, baby? Want daddy to fuck a baby into you?” Ellie cooed, a faux pout dangling on her lips. “Then you wouldn’t have anywhere to go.”
You nodded, on the brink of being braindead. “Yes, yes! I wanna be leaking of you. Wan’ mama and daddy to breed me so badly, please!”
You were an incoherent babbling mess, your voice raw and rough as you cried with your noises of gratification. They easily had you at the tip, and were ready to push you all the way down, keep you sobbing.
“Fucking cum for us, fuck!” Abby demanded, dropping the gun, and let go of your throat. She laid her hands on your torso, her nails scraping against your skin, and you hissed to it. Wanton moans and whimpers echoed throughout the room, and a second hadn’t passed when your climax ran out of you, riding it out as the girls went on to fuck you.
You let them use you like a fucktoy until they had come to their own orgasm, stuffing their cum into you as a symphony of curses sputtered from their lips. All movements came to a stop, bodies trembling and sticky.
You had to internally keep yourself conscious, but it was seeming impossible. You collapsed onto the bed the moment you were unfilled with their cocks, letting them handle themselves before you.
You could feel a warm, wet rag running over your legs, and you stared up at the ceiling, your eyes lazily blinking. “We need to clean you up, sweetheart. C’mon,” Ellie said, and picked you up, carrying you into the bathroom.
The three of you shared a warm bath, sitting in the middle of them as they cleaned you up nice and well, being sure to be gentle to touch you. You had missed the sweet scent of them, or how their violent hands could be so kind to your body, chaste kisses being pressed on your spine and forehead here and there.
It took you a few years for you to figure out your purpose with them, and all that they did for you. It was more than enough. To many, it would seem insane of your justifications and reasonings to why they did what they did for you, but no one else's opinion mattered in the fact. They worshiped you, they devoted every inch and breath of themselves to your protection and well being.
This is all you wanted. You and them forever the rest of your life. If carnage and bloodshed had to present, then so be it; because as long as you had them there by you, it was okay.
It was going to be okay forever.
#ellie williams#abby anderson#abby anderson x reader smut#ellie williams x reader smut#ellabs x reader#the last of us#ellie williams x abby anderson#ellie williams tlou#abby anderson x ellie williams x reader#abby anderson tlou2#abby anderson x ellie williams x reader smut#abby anderson x female reader#ellie williams fanfic#abby anderson smut#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams smut#abby anderson fanfiction#tlou#the last of us fanfiction#abby and ellie#ellabs x you#ellabs smut#ellie williams x you smut#abby anderson x reader#the last of us smut#wlw
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𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 - 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 ⭒❃.✮:▹
Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)
The South Node in astrology symbolizes the traits, habits, and behaviors we've brought with us from past lives or early experiences. It's our comfort zone, the familiar ground we often retreat to because it feels safe and natural. However, while the South Node reveals our inherent strengths and tendencies, it also shows us what we need to release in order to grow. Holding on to the patterns tied to the South Node can keep us stuck, preventing us from evolving into our full potential. True growth comes from recognizing these tendencies, understanding how they impact our lives, and consciously deciding to let go of what no longer serves us. By doing this, we open ourselves up to the lessons of the North Node, embracing new paths that lead to deeper fulfillment and personal development.
✫ 𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
Your soul's growth in this lifetime requires you to release the intense drive for independence, impulsivity, and self-centeredness that has characterized your past experiences. Holding onto these tendencies can keep you stuck in patterns that no longer serve your highest good. Instead, your journey towards your Libra North Node is about learning to embrace balance, diplomacy, and the importance of relationships. It’s time to recognize that true fulfillment doesn’t come from going it alone but from connecting with others, finding harmony, and understanding the value of collaboration over solitary pursuits. As you move toward this more relational and balanced way of being, you'll find a deeper sense of purpose and peace.
Aries South Node in the 1st House: Release the constant urge to assert your independence; instead, prioritize partnership and shared decision-making.
Aries South Node in the 2nd House: Shift your focus from accumulating material wealth and self-sufficiency; learn to value and share resources with others.
Aries South Node in the 3rd House: Move away from impulsive or domineering communication; work on fostering balanced and thoughtful interactions.
Aries South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the need to control your home environment; instead, focus on creating harmony and collaboration within your family.
Aries South Node in the 5th House: Stop seeking personal recognition in your creative pursuits; appreciate the value of shared creative experiences and collaborations.
Aries South Node in the 6th House: Move beyond working in isolation and focusing solely on personal tasks; embrace cooperation and teamwork in your daily life.
Aries South Node in the 7th House: Release the tendency to dominate relationships; concentrate on building partnerships based on mutual respect and balance.
Aries South Node in the 8th House: Let go of the need to control shared resources or power dynamics; instead, build trust and share power in your intimate relationships.
Aries South Node in the 9th House: Shift from a narrow focus on your own beliefs and philosophies; open yourself to other perspectives for a more balanced worldview.
Aries South Node in the 10th House: Stop striving for success through self-reliance alone; cultivate supportive relationships that can help you achieve your professional goals.
Aries South Node in the 11th House: Release the desire to lead or control group dynamics; focus on fostering equal and cooperative relationships within your community.
Aries South Node in the 12th House: Move away from facing challenges in isolation; learn to build supportive partnerships and rely on others for mutual growth.
✫ 𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
For your personal growth, it's essential to release your strong attachment to material security, comfort, and resistance to change. These familiar patterns may feel safe, but they can also hold you back from reaching your full potential. Moving towards your Scorpio North Node invites you to embrace transformation, engage in deep emotional connections, and have the courage to explore the unknown. This journey is about discovering that true security comes not from clinging to what’s familiar but from evolving and allowing yourself to be transformed by life’s challenges and mysteries.
Taurus South Node in the 1st House: Let go of the need for a comfortable, predictable self-image; instead, embrace the transformative journey of evolving your identity.
Taurus South Node in the 2nd House: Release your attachment to material possessions and financial security; focus on cultivating deeper emotional and spiritual values.
Taurus South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond surface-level communication and routine thinking; engage in conversations that lead to deeper understanding and personal growth.
Taurus South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the need for a stable, unchanging home life; embrace emotional transformation within your family and personal relationships.
Taurus South Node in the 5th House: Release the focus on creative endeavors solely for self-gratification; explore artistic expressions that bring deeper emotional fulfillment and shared experiences.
Taurus South Node in the 6th House: Move away from rigid routines and an overemphasis on physical health; embrace holistic practices that address emotional and spiritual well-being.
Taurus South Node in the 7th House: Let go of the need for stable, predictable relationships; learn to value intimacy and the transformative power of deep connections.
Taurus South Node in the 8th House: Release the fear of losing control over shared resources and emotional ties; focus on building trust and embracing transformative partnerships.
Taurus South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond the comfort of familiar beliefs and philosophies; seek transformative experiences that challenge and expand your worldview.
Taurus South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the desire for material success and a stable career; embrace opportunities that lead to profound personal growth and transformation.
Taurus South Node in the 11th House: Release the comfort of familiar social networks; engage with groups and causes that push you toward deeper, transformative connections.
Taurus South Node in the 12th House: Move away from seeking comfort in solitude or avoiding deep emotional challenges; confront your fears and embrace spiritual transformation.
✫ 𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To foster your personal growth, it’s important to move beyond your attachment to superficial knowledge, scattered thinking, and the constant need for new mental stimuli. While these traits may have served you in the past, they can now limit your potential. Embracing your Sagittarius North Node requires you to seek deeper wisdom, cultivate broad perspectives, and focus on meaningful goals and experiences. This journey is about shifting from a surface-level engagement with life to one that is richer, more purposeful, and grounded in lasting understanding.
Gemini South Node in the 1st House: Let go of the habit of constantly adapting your identity to fit in; instead, embrace a more stable, authentic sense of self that reflects deeper wisdom.
Gemini South Node in the 2nd House: Release the focus on accumulating trivial knowledge or material possessions; shift towards cultivating values that have broader, long-term significance.
Gemini South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond the need for surface-level communication and mental stimulation; engage in deeper, more meaningful conversations that explore philosophical ideas.
Gemini South Node in the 4th House: Let go of focusing on mundane family matters or small talk; instead, nurture deeper emotional bonds and create a home environment that encourages growth and understanding.
Gemini South Node in the 5th House: Release the habit of engaging in creative activities purely for fun; explore artistic expressions that convey deeper truths and reflect broader perspectives.
Gemini South Node in the 6th House: Move away from routines filled with distractions and trivial tasks; focus on work that aligns with your higher ideals and contributes to meaningful growth.
Gemini South Node in the 7th House: Let go of relationships that are based solely on intellectual stimulation; seek partnerships that challenge you to grow and explore deeper, more meaningful aspects of life.
Gemini South Node in the 8th House: Release the tendency to avoid deep emotional issues or focus on surface-level matters; engage in transformative experiences that lead to profound emotional and spiritual growth.
Gemini South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond a narrow focus on everyday concerns and trivial knowledge; seek out higher education, travel, and experiences that broaden your worldview and understanding.
Gemini South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the need to be recognized primarily for your communication skills; focus on building a career that reflects your deeper purpose and philosophical beliefs.
Gemini South Node in the 11th House: Release the habit of forming friendships based on shared trivial interests; instead, seek connections with those who share your higher ideals and aspirations.
Gemini South Node in the 12th House: Move away from intellectualizing your spiritual experiences; embrace a more intuitive, expansive approach to spirituality and personal growth.
✫ 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To truly grow and evolve, it's essential to release your attachment to emotional security, dependency, and the tendency to remain within your comfort zone. These patterns, while familiar and safe, can prevent you from achieving your full potential. Moving toward your Capricorn North Node requires embracing responsibility, leadership, and a focus on long-term success and recognition. This journey is about stepping into your power, taking control of your destiny, and striving for achievements that bring lasting fulfillment and respect.
Cancer South Node in the 1st House: Let go of defining yourself through your emotional needs and family ties; instead, cultivate a strong, independent identity rooted in personal responsibility and professional achievements.
Cancer South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of seeking comfort through material possessions or financial security; focus on building lasting stability through disciplined effort and strategic investments.
Cancer South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond emotionally driven communication and a focus on the familiar; embrace clear, purposeful communication that supports your long-term goals.
Cancer South Node in the 4th House: Let go of over-identifying with your home or family life; instead, pursue success in the public sphere and build a career that brings you recognition and respect.
Cancer South Node in the 5th House: Release the need for emotional validation through creative pursuits or romantic relationships; channel your energy into disciplined work that contributes to your long-term ambitions.
Cancer South Node in the 6th House: Move away from nurturing others in your daily work; focus on efficiency, discipline, and professional growth in how you approach your responsibilities.
Cancer South Node in the 7th House: Let go of emotional dependency in relationships; seek partnerships that are grounded in mutual respect, shared goals, and long-term success.
Cancer South Node in the 8th House: Release the tendency to rely on others for emotional or financial support; focus on building your own resources and stepping into a position of power and authority.
Cancer South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond emotional attachment to familiar beliefs or cultural traditions; embrace the challenge of expanding your horizons through education, travel, and new experiences.
Cancer South Node in the 10th House: Let go of seeking emotional validation through your career; focus on achieving success through strategic planning, hard work, and dedication to your professional goals.
Cancer South Node in the 11th House: Release the desire for emotional security within social groups or causes; instead, focus on forming connections that support your professional aspirations and long-term ambitions.
Cancer South Node in the 12th House: Move away from emotional retreat and escapism; embrace the discipline required to face your challenges and pursue your ambitions with determination.
✫ 𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
For your personal growth, it's crucial to release your attachment to seeking personal validation, being the center of attention, and focusing exclusively on your own ambitions. These tendencies, while they may have brought you recognition in the past, can now hold you back from a deeper sense of fulfillment. Moving toward your Aquarius North Node encourages you to embrace collective efforts, innovation, and working towards goals that serve the greater good rather than just your own desires. This path is about shifting your focus from self-centered achievements to contributions that uplift and benefit the community as a whole.
Leo South Node in the 1st House: Let go of the urge to always be in the spotlight; instead, develop a sense of self that is more collaborative and aligned with the needs of the community.
Leo South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of measuring your self-worth by material wealth and personal possessions; focus on how you can contribute to shared resources and community prosperity.
Leo South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond the need for recognition in your communication; focus on fostering collaborative dialogues that inspire innovation and collective advancement.
Leo South Node in the 4th House: Let go of dominating your family life for personal acknowledgment; instead, create a home environment where equality and collective well-being are prioritized.
Leo South Node in the 5th House: Release the need for personal glory in creative projects; channel your creative energies into endeavors that uplift and involve the community.
Leo South Node in the 6th House: Move away from seeking individual recognition in your daily work; focus on how your contributions can improve the lives of others and advance common goals.
Leo South Node in the 7th House: Let go of the tendency to dominate in partnerships; cultivate relationships based on equality, shared responsibilities, and mutual respect.
Leo South Node in the 8th House: Release the desire to control shared resources for personal gain; instead, focus on fair management and distribution of resources for the good of all involved.
Leo South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond asserting your beliefs for personal validation; embrace a more open and collaborative approach to sharing knowledge and exploring new perspectives.
Leo South Node in the 10th House: Let go of striving for personal fame and status; focus on building a career that makes a positive impact on society and contributes to the greater good.
Leo South Node in the 11th House: Release the habit of seeking leadership roles in groups for personal recognition; instead, engage in collective efforts that prioritize the welfare of the community.
Leo South Node in the 12th House: Move away from self-centered isolation; embrace spiritual practices and activities that serve the collective and benefit the broader community.
✫ 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
For your personal growth, it’s important to let go of your attachment to perfectionism, over-analysis, and the need to control every detail. These habits, while they may have provided a sense of security, can now hold you back from experiencing a deeper, more fulfilling life. Moving toward your Pisces North Node invites you to embrace intuition, compassion, and a trust in the natural flow of life without overthinking. This path encourages you to find peace in the unknown and to connect with others and the world around you in a more fluid and empathetic way.
Virgo South Node in the 1st House: Let go of the need to perfect your self-image; instead, present yourself with a more intuitive and compassionate approach that reflects your inner wisdom.
Virgo South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of meticulously controlling your finances and possessions; trust in the universe’s abundance and adopt a more relaxed approach to material security.
Virgo South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond overanalyzing every conversation or piece of information; focus on developing a more intuitive and spiritually connected way of thinking and communicating.
Virgo South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the desire to keep your home life perfectly organized; instead, create a warm, emotionally nurturing environment that fosters spiritual growth.
Virgo South Node in the 5th House: Release the need for perfect creative expression; allow your creativity to flow freely, embracing the beauty in its imperfections.
Virgo South Node in the 6th House: Move away from obsessing over daily routines and health habits; focus on a holistic approach to well-being that includes your spiritual and emotional health.
Virgo South Node in the 7th House: Let go of critiquing and trying to perfect your relationships; focus on nurturing connections that are rooted in empathy, understanding, and emotional depth.
Virgo South Node in the 8th House: Release the need to control shared resources or emotional dynamics; trust in the transformative power of deep emotional and spiritual connections.
Virgo South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond a narrow, analytical approach to learning and belief systems; embrace a broader, more spiritual perspective that trusts in the mysteries of life.
Virgo South Node in the 10th House: Let go of striving for a flawless career or public image; instead, focus on contributing to the collective good and allowing your professional life to unfold naturally.
Virgo South Node in the 11th House: Release the habit of micromanaging or critiquing social groups; embrace a compassionate, inclusive approach to community involvement and collective progress.
Virgo South Node in the 12th House: Move away from self-criticism and isolation; instead, surrender to spiritual growth and embrace the flow of life with compassion for yourself and others.
✫ 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To grow, you need to release your tendency to rely on others for validation, avoid conflict, and overcompromise in the name of harmony. While these behaviors may have provided comfort, they can also prevent you from fully embracing your individuality. Moving toward your Aries North Node involves embracing independence, assertiveness, and the courage to pursue your desires without needing constant approval.
Libra South Node in the 1st House: Let go of defining yourself through others' opinions or relationships; focus on building a strong, independent identity based on your own values and desires.
Libra South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of valuing yourself based on how others perceive you or your ability to maintain peace; instead, cultivate self-worth through personal achievements and assertive action.
Libra South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond avoiding conflict in communication; embrace direct, honest conversations where you confidently express your own ideas and opinions.
Libra South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the need to keep peace at home at the expense of your own needs; focus on establishing a household where your voice and desires are equally respected.
Libra South Node in the 5th House: Release the tendency to seek approval in your creative and romantic endeavors; instead, pursue your passions boldly and without concern for others' judgments.
Libra South Node in the 6th House: Move away from trying to please everyone in your work or daily routines; instead, take initiative and pursue what you believe is right, even if it means standing alone.
Libra South Node in the 7th House: Let go of losing yourself in relationships or making excessive compromises; focus on maintaining your independence and asserting your needs within partnerships.
Libra South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of relying on others for emotional or financial support; instead, develop your own resources and power, embracing self-sufficiency.
Libra South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond the need to follow others' beliefs or philosophies; embrace your own truth and the courage to explore and stand by your personal convictions.
Libra South Node in the 10th House: Let go of seeking validation through career achievements or public approval; focus on pursuing a career path that aligns with your personal goals and ambitions.
Libra South Node in the 11th House: Release the tendency to conform to group norms or seek approval from social circles; instead, lead with your vision and assert your individuality in social settings.
Libra South Node in the 12th House: Move away from hiding your true self to avoid conflict; embrace your individuality and the courage to express your true identity, even in spiritual or introspective matters.
✫ 𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To foster personal growth, it's essential to release your need for control, emotional intensity, and the tendency to dwell on the darker, more complex aspects of life. While these traits may have provided depth and insight, they can also lead to unnecessary complications and emotional turbulence. Moving toward your Taurus North Node invites you to embrace simplicity, stability, and a more grounded, peaceful approach to living. This path encourages you to find contentment in the present moment, cultivate inner calm, and appreciate the beauty in life’s simple pleasures.
Scorpio South Node in the 1st House: Let go of projecting a controlling or intense image; instead, focus on cultivating a calm, stable identity that radiates peace and simplicity.
Scorpio South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of obsessing over financial security and material wealth; instead, find contentment in simplicity and adopt a more relaxed approach to resources.
Scorpio South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond the need for intense or secretive communication; embrace clear, honest conversations that build trust and openness.
Scorpio South Node in the 4th House: Let go of emotional entanglements and power struggles within your family; focus on building a nurturing, stable home environment that promotes peace.
Scorpio South Node in the 5th House: Release the need for drama or control in creative and romantic pursuits; enjoy the simple pleasures of creativity and love without the need for intensity.
Scorpio South Node in the 6th House: Move away from obsessing over health and routines; adopt a balanced, grounded approach to daily life that supports overall well-being.
Scorpio South Node in the 7th House: Let go of power struggles and emotional control in relationships; focus on cultivating stable, respectful partnerships that bring mutual peace.
Scorpio South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of trying to control shared resources and emotional dynamics; trust in the natural flow of life and embrace a peaceful approach to intimacy.
Scorpio South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond an obsessive pursuit of deep truths and hidden knowledge; instead, adopt a practical, grounded approach to learning and spirituality.
Scorpio South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the need to manipulate your career path or public image; focus on building a solid, dependable reputation through consistent effort and integrity.
Scorpio South Node in the 11th House: Release the tendency to engage in power dynamics within social groups; instead, nurture genuine, straightforward friendships and community ties.
Scorpio South Node in the 12th House: Move away from lingering in past traumas or engaging in hidden fears; embrace spiritual practices that bring peace, grounding, and simplicity.
✫ 𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To truly grow and evolve, it's essential to release your tendency to chase grand ideals, avoid details, and resist commitment in favor of constant exploration. While these traits have given you a broad perspective, they can also prevent you from engaging fully with the present and with the practical aspects of life. Moving toward your Gemini North Node encourages you to embrace curiosity, flexibility, and a willingness to engage with everyday learning and communication. This path is about finding meaning in the ordinary, being open to new ideas, and connecting with the world around you in a more immediate and tangible way.
Sagittarius South Node in the 1st House: Let go of defining yourself through expansive ideas or philosophical beliefs; focus on developing a more adaptable, curious approach to life and self-expression.
Sagittarius South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of pursuing grand, idealistic financial goals; instead, cultivate practical financial habits and appreciate the small joys in everyday life.
Sagittarius South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond the tendency to overlook details or dismiss local matters; embrace learning and communication that is grounded in practical, everyday experiences.
Sagittarius South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the desire to escape or idealize your home and family life; focus on creating genuine connections and engaging in open, honest communication with loved ones.
Sagittarius South Node in the 5th House: Release the need for grand, adventurous expressions of creativity or romance; instead, find joy in the small, everyday moments and embrace a more lighthearted, flexible approach to creativity.
Sagittarius South Node in the 6th House: Move away from a restless approach to your daily routines and health; develop consistent habits and a balanced approach to managing your everyday responsibilities.
Sagittarius South Node in the 7th House: Let go of the tendency to idealize or seek freedom in relationships at the expense of deeper connection; focus on building relationships that are based on mutual understanding, communication, and shared experiences.
Sagittarius South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of avoiding emotional depth or intense situations by focusing on grander ideas; instead, embrace the details of intimate relationships and the shared management of resources.
Sagittarius South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond the need to pursue distant, lofty goals or ideals at the expense of practical learning; instead, engage in everyday education and open yourself to new perspectives through local experiences.
Sagittarius South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the desire to achieve success through big, sometimes unrealistic, career aspirations; instead, focus on building a career that values communication, adaptability, and practical skills.
Sagittarius South Node in the 11th House: Release the tendency to focus on broad, utopian visions in your social groups; instead, cultivate friendships and community ties that are based on shared everyday experiences and interests.
Sagittarius South Node in the 12th House: Move away from escaping into grand philosophical or spiritual ideals; instead, ground your spiritual practices in everyday life and embrace the details of your inner journey.
✫ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To foster personal growth, it's essential to release your overemphasis on ambition, control, and the pursuit of external success. These traits, while they may have brought you worldly achievements, can also distance you from the deeper emotional connections and fulfillment that truly enrich life. Moving toward your Cancer North Node invites you to embrace emotional connections, nurture relationships, and prioritize the well-being of yourself and your loved ones over material accomplishments. This path encourages you to find balance by valuing the heart as much as the mind and by cultivating a life that is both emotionally and spiritually fulfilling.
Capricorn South Node in the 1st House: Let go of the need to project a strong, controlled image; focus instead on cultivating a more emotionally open and nurturing identity that reflects your true self.
Capricorn South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of measuring your self-worth by material wealth and achievements; instead, find security in emotional connections and the simple joys of life.
Capricorn South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond rigid, goal-oriented communication; embrace conversations that are emotionally engaging, compassionate, and focused on mutual understanding.
Capricorn South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the need to structure and control your home environment; focus on creating a warm, nurturing space that fosters emotional well-being and family connections.
Capricorn South Node in the 5th House: Release the tendency to approach creativity or romance with seriousness and control; instead, enjoy spontaneous, heartfelt expressions of love and creativity.
Capricorn South Node in the 6th House: Move away from a workaholic mindset and an overemphasis on discipline in your daily routines; instead, prioritize self-care, emotional health, and a balanced lifestyle.
Capricorn South Node in the 7th House: Let go of the need to dominate or control your relationships; focus on building partnerships that are emotionally supportive, caring, and rooted in mutual respect.
Capricorn South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of controlling shared resources or maintaining emotional distance in intimate connections; embrace vulnerability and trust in your relationships.
Capricorn South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond a disciplined, rigid approach to spirituality and learning; instead, explore your beliefs through emotional experiences and nurturing wisdom.
Capricorn South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the need to define yourself by your career or public achievements; focus on finding fulfillment through family life, emotional connections, and nurturing your personal well-being.
Capricorn South Node in the 11th House: Release the focus on achieving status or control within social groups; instead, cultivate friendships and community ties that offer emotional support and shared understanding.
Capricorn South Node in the 12th House: Move away from a solitary, disciplined approach to spirituality; embrace practices that promote emotional healing, inner peace, and a connection to the divine.
✫ 𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
To truly grow and evolve, it's important to release your tendencies toward emotional detachment, rebelliousness, and prioritizing group ideals over personal connections. While these traits may have served you in maintaining objectivity and individuality, they can also prevent you from experiencing the warmth, creativity, and deep connections that bring true fulfillment. Moving toward your Leo North Node encourages you to embrace personal expression, creativity, and the importance of close, heartfelt relationships. This journey is about finding joy in being uniquely yourself and in building meaningful connections with those around you.
Aquarius South Node in the 1st House: Let go of projecting a distant, intellectual persona; instead, develop a warm, confident presence that values personal expression and connection.
Aquarius South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of prioritizing abstract ideas over personal fulfillment; instead, cultivate self-worth through creative endeavors and tangible accomplishments.
Aquarius South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond a detached, overly rational communication style; embrace expressive, heartfelt conversations that deepen personal relationships.
Aquarius South Node in the 4th House: Let go of maintaining emotional distance in your home life; focus on creating a warm, loving environment where personal connections are nurtured.
Aquarius South Node in the 5th House: Release the focus on group activities or intellectual pursuits; instead, explore your individuality through creative self-expression and personal joy.
Aquarius South Node in the 6th House: Move away from an impersonal approach to work and daily routines; instead, infuse your tasks with creativity and personal involvement.
Aquarius South Node in the 7th House: Let go of prioritizing intellectual compatibility over emotional connection in relationships; focus on building passionate, personally fulfilling partnerships.
Aquarius South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of intellectualizing emotional and intimate matters; instead, embrace emotional depth and vulnerability in your closest relationships.
Aquarius South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond abstract ideals and philosophies; instead, embrace personal experiences and the joy of creative self-expression in your exploration of life’s meaning.
Aquarius South Node in the 10th House: Let go of seeking recognition through group efforts or intellectual achievements; focus on building a career that highlights your individual talents and creative contributions.
Aquarius South Node in the 11th House: Release the tendency to blend into group identities; instead, step into the spotlight and embrace your individuality and leadership.
Aquarius South Node in the 12th House: Move away from a detached, abstract approach to spirituality; instead, connect with your inner self through creative, heartfelt practices that bring joy and personal fulfillment.
✫ 𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐞 ✫
For personal growth, it's essential to let go of tendencies toward escapism, idealism, and avoiding practical realities. While these traits may have helped you connect with your imagination and spirituality, they can also keep you from achieving tangible success and stability in the material world. Moving toward your Virgo North Node invites you to embrace discipline, attention to detail, and a focus on practical solutions and tangible results. This path encourages you to balance your dreams with reality, creating a life that is both spiritually fulfilling and grounded in the here and now.
Pisces South Node in the 1st House: Let go of projecting an ethereal or dreamy image; instead, focus on developing a practical, organized approach to how you present yourself to the world.
Pisces South Node in the 2nd House: Release the habit of being overly idealistic or careless with your resources; instead, focus on building financial stability through disciplined management and practical planning.
Pisces South Node in the 3rd House: Move beyond vague or escapist communication; embrace clear, precise conversations that foster understanding and effective exchange of ideas.
Pisces South Node in the 4th House: Let go of the tendency to idealize or escape from family responsibilities; focus on creating a stable, orderly home environment that supports the well-being of all family members.
Pisces South Node in the 5th House: Release the need to lose yourself in creative fantasies or romantic illusions; approach your creative and romantic endeavors with practical planning and clear goals.
Pisces South Node in the 6th House: Move away from disorganized or inconsistent daily routines; instead, develop disciplined, efficient habits that support your health and productivity.
Pisces South Node in the 7th House: Let go of the tendency to idealize or avoid reality in relationships; focus on building partnerships that are grounded in mutual responsibility and clear communication.
Pisces South Node in the 8th House: Release the habit of avoiding deep emotional work or escaping into fantasy in matters of intimacy and shared resources; instead, embrace a practical, problem-solving approach to these areas.
Pisces South Node in the 9th House: Move beyond the desire to escape into abstract philosophies or spiritual fantasies; instead, focus on practical, real-world applications of your beliefs and seek knowledge that has tangible benefits.
Pisces South Node in the 10th House: Let go of the tendency to idealize or avoid taking concrete steps in your career; focus on setting realistic goals and working steadily towards achieving them.
Pisces South Node in the 11th House: Release the habit of losing yourself in utopian visions for social change; instead, focus on practical, actionable steps you can take to make a real difference in your community.
Pisces South Node in the 12th House: Move away from excessive escapism or isolation; instead, develop a grounded spiritual practice that includes daily routines and tangible acts of service.
Masterlist
#astrology#astro#astrology observation#astro observation#tropical astrology#astro notes#vedic astrology#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#aquarius#pisces#spirituality#spiritual growth#chinese zodiac#north node#south node#sun#moon#mercury#venus#mars#jupiter
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tying you to me
Summary: When your boss, Bucky, apologizes for being rude to you once again, things take an unexpected turn.
Pairing: boss!Bucky Barnes x marketing director!female reader
Warnings: 18+, teasing, dirty talk, pet names, sir kìnk, breasts insecurity, protected séx, bøndage, a little degrading, praising kìnk, language, implied aftercare, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 5.2K
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N: I really hope you'll enjoy it!
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
He’s well aware he went too far. He noticed right when he finished talking and took a look at you, but what is said is said. And the last thing he wants is Steve annoying him about the meeting.
“I don’t question the way you deal with employees, do I?” Bucky snaps, tired and really wanting this day to be over.
“What has gotten into you? What bothers you so much about her? I just don’t get it.”
Bucky sighs deeply, rubbing his hand across his face in frustration. “It’s not just one thing,” he mutters, his tone weighed down by a mix of tiredness and anger. “It’s a culmination... She’s fucking impossible.”
“Bucky, I get you’re upset, but taking it out on her isn’t fair. She did an incredible job, but you didn’t even listen to her. What’s really going on here?”
“I feel like she’s not seeing the bigger picture. We disagree constantly, and it’s making things difficult. Maybe I overreacted, but it’s been building up for a while.” Bucky leans in as he speaks, with his shoulders slightly hunched forward. His voice carries an edge that Steve notices immediately. He knows there is something about you that affects Bucky, but he can’t quite put the finger on it. Ever since he hired you, Bucky’s been angry with him too, which has happened only two or three times over twenty years of friendship.
“I can see this is really affecting you, Buck. If there’s something personal or if my decision to bring her on board has caused you any discomfort, talk to me. I just wanna make sure everything’s okay between us.”
He leans back a bit, surprised. “Personal? No, it’s not… it’s not about that,” he stammers, searching for the right words. There’s a subtle shake of his head, almost as if he’s trying to dismiss his own thoughts. He wishes there was a personal connection so badly that it messes with his head…
“Then what is it? I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions. I know you hate when things are not under your control, but I made the right call to hire her. And you were really unfair to her, look,” Steve waves around as he speaks, and Bucky turns to look at you through the glass door. You’re still there… working. “She’s not just smart and creative, but also ambitious and hard working. I know how much you value this as well.”
“I didn’t mean to come off unfairly. It’s just…” Bucky sighs, moving to shift his gaze back to Steve. “Our ways clash, and it’s hard to manage it. I value her skills, but finding a middle ground seems impossible sometimes.”
“Look, Buck, I understand it’s tough, but it’s important to listen to her ideas too,” Steve responds, his voice carrying a firm yet empathetic tone. “Today? You didn’t even look over the outlines. Try giving her ideas a chance or just suggest new things without trashing all of her work. You’d be offended too.” He pauses, and Bucky’s focus is back on you. His eyes narrow slightly, studying your determined expression as you delve into whatever you are working on that he dismissed today. And for a few seconds a pang of guilt flickers across Bucky’s expression, which Steve immediately catches. He clears his throat and continues. “I understand it’s not easy to step back and apologize, but it’s not about who’s right or wrong. And, to be honest, you were wrong anyway. It’s about ensuring a healthy workplace.”
“I appreciate your perspective, Steve,” he begins with a calm voice. “But I don’t think it would make a difference.” His gaze briefly flickers towards you before returning to Steve.
“Trust me, it’ll make a difference, not just for her but also for the team. Give it a shot.” Steve smiles, patting him on the chest before standing up. “I’ll leave you to it. It’s so late.”
“Alright, lovebird, off to your nest?” Bucky teases. “Natasha’s waiting for her captain. Better not keep her waiting too long.”
Steve chuckles. “Well, someone’s got to keep the romance alive around here. Good night.”
“Night...”
*
The audacity of this man is unbelievable. After all that shit he pulled on you today, he has the nerve to order your food! He’s the reason why you’re still working at eight pm instead of lying on your couch.
You are so close to crying out of exhaustion and anger, but you won’t give him this satisfaction. And you won’t eat his food.
“Are you seriously gonna starve yourself?”
“I’m not hungry,” you retort, your voice sharper than intended as you give him an annoyed look.
Bucky’s expression softens instantly, a hint of concern flickering across his face. “Come on, you’ve been working the whole day” he insists, trying to reason with you. “You need to eat something. Did you even drink water?”
You shake your head weakly.
“Look, I-”
“If you don’t like Pizza, I can grab you something else.”
You raise your hand, waving around. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine. I’ll eat something when I get home.”
The idea of accepting anything from him like this feels wrong. You don’t want his pity.
“Stubborn as ever,” he sighs, muttering under his breath, and you look up to meet his gaze. For a moment, there’s a silent understanding between you, an unspoken acknowledgment of the tension lingering from earlier.
What did Steve tell him to make him actually try to have a decent conversation?
“Look, sir,” you say through your teeth. “I don’t want your pity. I appreciate your concern, but I’ll manage. I just need to finish this.”
“This isn’t about pity.” His tone is firm. “You’re exhausted, and I’m just trying to help.”
“I said I’m fine. I’ll be done with these.” You lift your papers to emphasize. “And get home.”
“You’re not fine!” he shoots, surprising you. “And you’re too stubborn to see it!”
You’ve never seen him screaming before. Even when he is angry, he’s always the silent type.
“Don’t you dare!” you fire back all of a sudden, unable to hold back. If you’ll get fired, at least you should speak your mind properly. You can’t take more of this. He can’t step on you without consequences. “You are the reason why I am here anyway. Don’t play the concerned hero, just take your food and eat it...” You pause for a second before sarcastically adding. “Sir.”
“This isn’t just about the food, is it?” Bucky’s voice softens slightly despite his impulse to raise his voice again. “It’s about the meeting.” You keep looking him in the eyes, not denying the obvious. Of course it’s about the meeting. “Look, I am sorry, I know I should have handled things differently, but I’m trying to make it right.”
“You think a wannabe apology and food make everything okay?” You ask bitterly, standing up. “You humiliated me, Mr. Barnes. You didn’t even hear me out, you didn’t even listen to my ideas, what the team and I managed to do in the last few months. You disrespected them too! And I don’t get it...” You hate how tall he is. How perfectly his suit is ironed. How nice his hair is. Fuck him! “Ever since Steve hired me, you refused to communicate with me. It’s like you have decided who I am and what I’m worth without even giving me a chance, without acknowledging my efforts and results!”
“That’s not true,” he begins, trying to defend himself even though you both know you are right. “I made a mistake, I admit it, but I want to fix it.”
“A mistake?” You laugh humorlessly. “For months you’ve been treating me like shit, excuse my language.” You shake your head. “Actually I don’t. You should be the one apologizing! You look at me as if I am a scum, as if my presence bothers you. I come to you only when I have to, and you act as if I want to waste your time. Well, I wasted mine for months in this company. With you!”
Bucky snaps, feeling the frustration taking over him. “My decisions are based on what’s best for the company. It’s nothing pers-”
“That’s just a bullshit excuse to maintain the status quo!” you interrupt him, the tension escalating. You don’t care about this job anymore. Whatever will happen, let it happen. “You’re a stuck-up asshole, resistant to change and blind to new perspectives! My perspectives only, to be clear.” You see him clenching his jaw before his left hand covers his jaw. Oh, he’s angry. Good! “And it’s not even out of misogyny since you get along just fine with Shuri. So what is it? What is it, Mr. Barnes, that makes you hate me?”
“It’s not about you,” he insists, his voice strained with the effort to keep calm. “It’s about maintaining stability. It’s about-”
“Bullshit! You’re threatened by anything that challenges your authority! You’re just frustrated and insecure. You’re scared that someone else can do better things in their own way. You’re just a tyrant! I don’t know how Steve is friends with you. He’s such a great man, and you’re a dick.” You laugh. “God, I wanted to tell you this for so long. And if it’s not clear, I fucking quit!”
You’d smile widely if it wasn’t for his snort.
“You’re not quitting,” Bucky’s voice is low, but you still hear it.
He doesn’t believe you, clearly. But he will because you’re not joking or backing off. You can’t take another humiliation session, especially when you did nothing to deserve it. As much as you admire Bucky’s intelligence and company policies, he’s a fucking douchebag. To you.
“Watch me,” you retort instantly. Your heart starts racing as he takes another step toward you. He’s so close that you only need to get on your tiptoes to kiss him.
“No, you’re not quitting. And you’re not walking out that door until we settle this.”
“Settle what, Barnes? Your ego?” You try to maintain your composure, but the closeness makes it hard for you to focus.
He sighs, and your eyes find his lips again. They are pink and wet from his tongue. If only he was less of an asshole and not your boss, maybe you would...
“This isn’t just about me and my authority.”
“Then what is it?” You're confused.
“It’s about you challenging everything I’ve built here,” he admits, looking straight into your eyes.
“And you can’t handle that?” Your voice is filled with sarcasm, but for once he doesn’t focus on that.
“It’s not that simple.”
“Then make it simple, Mr. Barnes.”
“I... I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Deal with this... with you.”
“Deal with me?” You puff. “You’re insufferable, I am the one who has to deal with you and your constant checkups. With your: that’s not good enough, that needs to be changed, do this, do that over and over again.” You mimic his patronizing tone. “You don’t give me real suggestions-”
“I just... struggle with change.”
“And I’m the change you can’t handle?” The question hangs heavy between you, and his eyes drop to your lips this time.
“You challenge me,” he admits, his voice barely above the whisper. “You and your crazy ambition, your undying dedication, and your incredible ideas...” He pauses just to take a deep breath. “I feel like I’m suffocating every time I look at you.”
“Suffocating?” You roll your eyes. “How am I suffocating you? Just because I have an opinion and give you arguments-”
“I am fucking attracted to you, woman!”
You shake your head. He cannot just pull this lie and expect you to fall for it as if you are dumb. “Yeah, sure. Can you be a man for once and fucking take responsibility for your real thoughts and feelings? Just admit that you hate me!”
“Jesus Christ, are you that blind? For a woman so perceptive, you surely don’t see what’s right in front of you.”
You feel the anger take over your whole body. “Fuck you!”
“I wish! This is the whole point, the whole fucking point...”
“You want to fuck me for real?” You gasp, surprised and take a step back so you can look at him properly. He doesn’t seem to be joking.
“Deadly serious. And no matter how many times I tried to push this desire away, it just doesn’t work. You suffocate me. I imagine taking you all over my desk and couch. I imagine so many things, and I cannot focus.”
Before you can stop yourself, you slap him on the face lightly. Your palm is itching and gets red instantly, but you don’t care. As much as the info makes you happy, the context makes you super angry.
“So my team and I had to be humiliated just because you’re mad you want to get laid?”
“W-what? No!”
“No?”
“No. I deserved that,” he says referring to the slap. “But I meant what I said earlier. These are separate things.”
You cover your face with both your hands, not knowing what to say. What can you say? What should you think?
“I am sorry,” he sighs, and you hear him slowly walking away from you. “I should have said nothing. I am sorry. Please, don’t quit. You won’t have to work with me or even see me after this. Steve can take over, and you like him. I apologize not only for this, but also for my lack of… skills. I should have been more open to your ideas. And about tonight, I will wait for the HR email. I am sorry once again.”
Your head is spinning with all the things he’s just said. He wants you, but he’s also a bitch who cannot handle other opinions.
But you also want him. And you’ve wanted him despite how annoying he was. And he’s genuinely apologizing.
“Fuck it,” you whisper before going straight to him, pulling him by his tie toward you to kiss him.
He doesn’t hesitate at all, bringing his hands to your ass so you can feel each other better as he deepens the kiss instantly.
You shamelessly try to thrust your hips up a little as you let go of his tie, and his tongue feels like heaven in your mouth. His moan is low and hot, but you don’t let him breathe more than a second before you kiss him again, making sure to grab his hair and pull with force.
“Fuck me, Barnes. Fuck me right fucking now.”
He groans in your mouth once again, and you shiver.
“Jesus Christ, I’m gonna fuck you so well you won’t remember or think about anything else but my cock for days.” You instantly drop your hands so you can reach for his pants. Unbuckling them isn’t hard, but the zipper gets a little stuck, so Bucky has to finish the job for you.
“God, James,” you moan at the sight. “You’re leaking.”
He’s not embarrassed by this at all. On the opposite, he grabs his briefs too and pulls them down, letting them fall along with his pants.
You’re staring, but you can’t help it. His cock is so hard, and it even twitches as he grabs it to show it to you. It’s so thick.
“For you. This is all for you.”
Without waiting for a response, he suddenly grabs your shirt by the front placket and rips it in two. The buttons fly everywhere, one almost hits him in the face, but you don’t care. You’ve never been more turned on in your life. He’s so hot!
“Oh god, James,” you whisper, unclasping your bra before he can destroy it. It’s your best one, and you still need it.
“Yes,” he groans at the sight of your breasts, but you cannot ignore the wave of self-doubt that takes over you. They’re a little bigger than they should be for your height, so the sight is not the prettiest, in your opinion. This has always been an insecurity of yours, and even more after your last boyfriend made sure to emphasize this before you broke up. But Bucky seems fascinated. With his eyes glued to them and his mouth semi-open, he leans in, bringing his hands to both of your breasts before cupping them. You get goosebumps as he folds them eagerly, and you hear him groan when they spill over as soon as he tries to pull them together.
“James!”
But it’s like he can’t hear you, too engrossed in watching your nipples hardening even more, and before you tell him what you wanted to, you feel his wet mouth sucking in one of your nipples.
You’re taken aback, so he uses his gloved hand to make you stop moving by placing it on your waist firmly.
He’s suckling at this point, making low whimpers as he’s looking at you.
You swear you never saw a more beautiful man in your whole life. His blue eyes are hypnotic.
“F-fuck,” you curse, bringing your fingers to his hair. You need to grab something before you fall.
He switches to the other nipple, and you feel yourself throbbing. You need his cock so much. You need his mouth... you need him to make you come. And you want to do the same to him. He’s driving you crazy.
“F-fuck me! RIGHT NOW.” You’re screaming, but he’s not surprised, rather amused as he takes his mouth off your breasts with a pop.
“Easy there, you sound quite desperate,” he giggles as if he’s just made the funniest joke ever. You are desperate.
“Fuck me or I’ll finish myself off, and you won’t be able to touch me as I do. Your choice.”
You know he doesn’t like or do ultimata, but you have no alternative. You crave to be taken on his desk as hard as he can go.
“How can I fuck you if you still have your pants on?” He asks you extremely calmly, and you’re shocked. You expected a more... intense reaction. “Earth to you?” He waves his hand when he sees you zoning out.
“You didn’t take them off.”
“I don’t take your clothes off, love.” He smirks. “I rip them, so if you want them intact, you better do it yourself.”
You nod, enjoying how raspy his voice is, and take them off without looking away from his cock. Not that he could stop staring at your breasts. His eyes are glued to your nipples. Your underwear falls, and only when you step out of the pool of clothes and finally free your legs from the high heels, he brings his hand to your pussy.
“Oh God, look at this… drenched!”
You moan, moving a little into his palm as if you’re trying to ride it. You need him so badly.
“James-”
“I know.” He smiles, spreading your lips more. “I know. So needy, my poor baby needs her cock so she can relax.”
You whimper loudly as you close your eyes. “Take me, sir. Make me your little fuck toy. Take out your frustrations. You can... you can show me how I was wrong for quitting by fucking me until I feel your cock every time I walk. I need to,” you moan again as you keep grinding onto his hand. “Come on! Show me!”
Bucky’s eyes get so grey as he suddenly pulls his hand away, making you whine. You’re about to curse him, but what he does makes you stop. He starts to take off his tie quickly, and you smile.
“Good boy.”
That remark makes his snort, and he cryptically replies:
“Ah, ah, we’ll see about that later.”
“Take off that shirt faster, and your glove, too.”
That surprises him, his eyes immediately widening, so you decide to do it yourself since he’s not fast enough.
He freezes as soon as you pull off his glove, revealing a black with golden accents prosthetic hand.
“This is so fucking pretty, oh my God! Why do you keep this hidden?” You turn his hand around, and you gasp, realizing what you’ve just said. “I am sorry if I seem insensitive, it’s just that...”
Bucky snorts, amused, not hurt, which makes you feel like you can breathe again. The last thing you wanted was to bother him.
“You got a kink for my arm now?”
“You talk too much,” you murmur at the same time you start to unbutton his shirt as quickly as you can. Your hands are trembling.
When he’s finally naked, you let out a whimper, instantly reaching to touch his chest with both of your hands.
“You shave,” you say, surprised.
“Come on, love.” He smiles. “Touch my arm while you still can.”
You don’t question what he means by that, not wanting to worry too much. You expected this to be a one-time thing anyway, so you better enjoy every second of it. The arm is seamlessly integrated into his shoulder, and it's colder than the rest of his skin.
You trace a gold pattern all the way from his shoulder to his hand.
“I have a kink now,” you giggle when you see the sides of his neck getting pink.
“Well, I hope you have this kink, too, because…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. Instead, he reaches for the tie he had on today and smiles. “Turn around and put your hands behind your back.”
“W-what?”
“Hands behind your back.”
“You want to tie my hands?” You ask, taken aback by his demand.
“Did you try it before? Do you hate it?”
No, you didn’t try, but it doesn’t sound bad, surprisingly.
You usually hate not being in control, but it’s Bucky, and as annoying as he might be as your boss, you trust him. Plus, you quit after all, you should enjoy this as much as possible. The thought of him tying you up is really sexy for some reason, so you simply turn around and bring your hands together above your ass.
He doesn’t hesitate and quickly makes a knot.
“Too tight?”
“No,” you whisper. It’s not tight at all.
“You can tell me to stop any time, okay?” He wraps his hands around your waist and turns you toward him. “I’ll stop immediately.”
You nod, trying to get used to not being able to raise your hands.
“Words, please.”
“Yes, James.”
“Good girl.”
You’d lie if you said it doesn’t turn you on like crazy. You’ve been indirectly fighting with him for so long without getting any kind of approval or praise for your work. He made you angry and stressed more times than you could count, but you still respected him. You wanted his approval and you craved him...
You got yourself off thinking about him, you imagined choking him out of anger, but then it turning into a completely different thing. And it feels surreal this is actually happening, and he finally calls you a good girl.
“Are you clean? Anything-”
“I always used a condom, and I do checkups every six months. I assume the same about you.”
You nod, not bothering to tell him you don’t remember the last time you had sex, all thanks to him and his impossible to please ass.
“Do you have a condom?” You ask, moving closer to him again.
“In the car,” he curses, but before you can tell him that you can try without one since you are on the pill, he speaks again. “Wait!”
You giggle as you watch him run out of the office with his ass wiggling. No way he goes to his car naked, right?
You jump on top of his desk, pushing a few docs on the floor with your knee. It’s quite difficult because your hands are tied, but you don’t mind. You wait excitedly for his return just to tease him, but you’re speechless as soon as you see him unwrapping the condom package with his teeth before he quickly rolls it on.
“Won’t the neighbor mind?”
“What he doesn’t know,” he grabs your legs as he speaks. “Won’t hurt him. You’re not gonna run your mouth now, are you?” There is something about his patronizing tone that makes you hornier. Maybe because you know you’ve been on his mind so much he couldn’t focus on anything else.
“Why? You want to keep my mouth occupied with your cock?”
You don’t expect to be turned around on the table instead, with your ass in the air. Holy fuck!
“How about I keep this pretty wet pussy of yours occupied, hmm?”
You close your eyes when you feel his cock at your entrance before he finally pushes in.
He’s crazy, he must be crazy if he thinks you can take all of his cock like this.
“B-Bucky!” You arch your back without realizing, fighting against the material of his tie so you can get free. The impulse to touch his back is absolutely overwhelming, and the coldness of his left hand drives you crazy.
“What happened?” His other hand goes up until it’s in your hair. “You got nothing else to say? Are you already cock drunk?”
“More!” you whimper. “I can take more of you, please.”
“Ah? So greedy for my cock.”
“Need it deeper, James. Need you to move faster.”
You don’t care how desperate your voice is or if you’re pathetic. “I just wanna be stretched open until I cry. P-please.”
You don’t realize he is holding his breath until you hear him exhaling loudly against your back before kissing the same spot.
“You wanna be fucked like you’re my good little toy, baby? You want-”
He stops speaking when you moan, trying to move your hands so you can touch him and push him deeper inside you by grabbing his ass.
That hot ass…
“Want you, sir. Please, make me a mess.”
And he does. He fucks you harder, making your eyes roll back, and you can’t help but try again to touch him.
“Just like that,” you cry out when your face hits the desk more forcefully than before. You can sense Bucky’s hesitation so you shake your head. “I’m fine, I’m... k-keep going.”
He doesn’t stop, he even goes faster yet somehow deeper than before, a combination you’re not used to, that makes you feel like he’s splitting you in half. Neither of you can properly talk anymore. You can hear him cursing and saying your name along with: your pussy’s drowning me, so wet, think you can t-take it harder, but there is a long break after every word so he can thrust back inside you. You can’t even call him James, your voice is so hoarse, and he’s so deep you cannot even breathe.
You don’t need anything more the second he pulls your hair harder than you’d ever expect. Before you know what’s happening, the pleasure explodes inside you, making you scream. You don’t even realize that’s your voice at first, too focused on trying to prolong this feeling as you push your ass back frustrated you cannot grab his thighs, while he keeps thrusting inside you. His balls hit your clit, and you moan, a little sensitive.
“Sir, please, c-come,” you whisper, turning your head to the side on the desk. “Come for your little fuck toy. U-use me.”
You flinch, shocked, when you feel a light slap on your ass all of a sudden, but it doesn’t hurt at all. Quite the opposite. You don’t have time to say something about it, though, because Bucky’s already burying himself inside you again as deep as he can, and you moan at the same time he does.
“J-James...”
He pulls your hair even harder while he comes, groaning your name and a low fuck, that almost makes you giggle.
“Jesus...” It’s the only warning you get before you feel his chest on your back.
“Barnes, you’re heavy!”
His laugh is adorable, but he’s indeed heavy, plus you also have your hands tied. When he finally moves, you hop off the desk, almost falling since your knees are weak. Now you can feel your thighs aching too. But it was all worth it.
Quickly, Bucky unties you, without saying a word, which only makes you more nervous.
“Thanks,” you whisper as you turn around to face him. Then, you watch him take off the condom and place it on top of one of the papers you knocked over with your knee earlier.
After wiping his hands on his thighs, he grabs your wrists gently, making you almost moan at the feel of his cold hand. You’re not hurt, but they’re quite red, probably from the times you tried to get free.
“Gonna buy some cream.”
You shake your head. “No need, I am sure I have something for this.” You try to sound as casual as you can, not wanting to be clingy in his eyes even after you quit. Even after this. “Can you hand me my underwear and pants, please?”
Bucky freezes for a second, but he still gives them to you. “Are you back to hating me?”
“What?” You ask as you start to get dressed. You don’t have the blouse, but your coat is warm. You won’t freeze.
“Why are you so cold now? Did I hurt you? Did I do anything wrong?” His concerned voice and look surprise you. You know he is nice, but you didn’t expect him to be attentive after.
“No, you didn’t. I assumed this is,” you wave around when you finish zipping up your pants. “Just wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”
He doesn’t laugh.
“I told you, you’ve been on my mind for so long. Why would I... and even if it was just a one-time thing, why would I treat you like trash? Especially since we work together.”
“Worked,” you correct him before he hands you his shirt. You raise your eyebrow surprised.
“I’m not gonna help you get dressed, Barnes. You’re a big boy.”
“Put it on, it’s freezing.”
“I have my coat,” you protest, but he won’t take no for an answer, and you know it.
“On.”
“Fine!”
He helps you with it since your hands are, for some reason, still shaking. “Look, I was gonna invite you over to my place, but if I make you feel uncomfortable, or if you don’t want to see me...”
You can’t help but raise your eyebrows.
“Really?”
“We have some things to discuss, and I have a bath to run for you.”
You roll your eyes, fighting the urge to smile as he finishes buttoning the shirt. “You want me to sign a contract to fuck you again?”
“Ha, ha. No.” He leans in a bit to kiss your forehead. “We have many things to talk about that don’t involve a contract.”
“Yeah? Like what?” You start to collect the documents from the floor. “The process of writing my resignation letter?”
You hear Bucky puff behind you. “You’re not quitting.”
“No?” You bite your lip as you look at him. “Who’s gonna stop me?”
“Me.”
“Hmm,” you whisper playfully before placing his papers on the desk. “How?”
“Let’s get home and we’ll see about that.”
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