#and we never spoke again
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rollercoastermalfunction · 8 months ago
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people are noticing my drawings and I don't know how to feel about it
So, I'm just eating my pretzel during a break and I hear people behind me talking about an axolotl (i just finished drawing an axolotl and the page is still in front of me) so I got suspicious, but really, it could have been a coincidence - but then they said something about whether they all saw the star wars helmets yesterday. I drew the bad batch helmets yesterday.
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gay-kurapika · 10 months ago
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I love reddit its like misogyny central. "Am I the asshole for not wanting my friend to bring his girlfriend everywhere" yes actually you are, she's a full person all on her own and I doubt she thinks of you as "boyfriends friend" but go ahead and elaborate on why she doesn't exist to you. Let's explore that a bit.
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slfcare · 29 days ago
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the most difficult thing about growing as a person socially, as in getting out of your shell and noticing that you are, is that there will still be times when it doesn’t feel like you’ve grown at all! times when you can’t really connect with anyone around you, times when you fail to enter into an existing conversation, times when you say the wrong thing (or nothing at all when in hindsight you probably should’ve). but that’s also kind of the best thing, because that’s the thing that helps you realize that sometimes, it’s not you or your lack of skills or any shortcoming. sometimes certain environments just aren’t for you and certain people aren’t your people, and that’s okay. that’s human. it’s okay to not feel the progress you have made all the time.
#and that goes for every type of growth#backstory of this post:#after I came back after a few months of doing my international internship I felt so much more confident#it was easier making friends and walking up to people#i took more chances#and generally just heard it a lot from those around me who kept telling me how much i’d changed#this was further supported by my first office job that went pretty well#but then came my grad internship. and while i love the work and have met some great people I noticed it was difficult again#there was one office lunch where no one spoke to me at all! it was my first week and I didn’t know what to say#if i should even say anything#we were all sitting at the same table#not one person even glanced my way#it made me doubt myself; i was doing so well before#was that even real? why can’t I just speak up? this is not the way to connect with people#especially in my first week!#but you know what#i was still doing well. i just had to factor in the fact that these were all middle aged people talking about reality shows i didn’t watch#and bikes i knew nothing about#as well as people who knew i was the new intern yet didn’t speak to me at all even though I’d introduced myself to them all individually#and even so#people I couldn’t really talk to about MY interests outside of work either#my point being:#it’s okay to not feel a connection with everyone you meet#it’s okay to fall back into old habits even though you’ve developed new ones#it will never unravel the process you’ve made and the connections you’ve built#you’re doing fine#after this internship I will surround myself with people who reaffirm that belief#growth in the self#self love#positivity
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lazylittledragon · 4 months ago
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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:
i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???
#ramble#sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well#if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD#he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE#like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one#holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do#and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that#idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything#also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore#so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks#also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently#also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this#again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable#if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time
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strawberrystepmom · 1 year ago
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gojo telling any other sorcerer who is interested in you that they can just fight him for you if they want you so bad
like what are they gonna do??? fight him????
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rig-a-rendal · 3 months ago
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reading the autobiography of a damn liar means having to cross-reference absolutely every little throwaway anecdote to the point where you look somehow even more insane than him
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dykehayleywilliams · 2 years ago
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oh shit wait i just realized the last time we spoke was literally the week after laughter came out fuck
dear god i just found out my ex is expecting a baby yeah i need this paramore album now more than ever
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bicheetopuff · 2 months ago
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I wish childhood friends were real…
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burst-of-iridescent · 1 year ago
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You can go back in time and add one extra Zuko and Katara interaction scene into the show (unfortunately everything else stays the same including the awful canon endgame pairs.) What kind of scene between them would you add?
a post-agni kai conversation.
it always drives me fucking mad that zuko literally throws his life away for katara and then apart from ONE THANK YOU (which is beautiful and perfect, don’t get me wrong, but certainly not enough) they just??? never speak again????? like there is no way in hell katara of all people would just fucking dip after zuko sacrificed himself for her you know she was sitting by his bed 24/7 & changing his bandages & fussing over him day and night & i refuse to hear otherwise.
ideally, i would’ve liked the conversation to be at the jasmine dragon in ba sing se (bringing it full circle from the first time they ever connected in the very same city), out in the balcony before the entire gaang comes to join them and hinting at a future relationship, but since i unfortunately have to keep to canon, i would insert it after the mai.ko “reconciliation” and before zuko’s coronation.
maybe zuko opens up to katara over how nervous he is about becoming fire lord, she reassures him, and then he tells her that he wouldn’t be there without her, and thanks her again — and that segues into them talking about what he did, and why he did it (and if we want angst, we can see the hints of feelings that neither of them yet realize or can admit they have, not till it’s too late) and then we end with another hug just to wrap it all up with a nice bow <3
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ancha-aus · 2 months ago
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Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Understanding
Hey @spotaus !! As promised :3 I got a little something for you!
Your drabble got me thinking and made me consider something. (also i am so sorry if i got the ages wrong. I really tried)
As always. Feel free to use whatever you want from it or just ignore what doesn't fit <3 I am just having fun and it is meant as a gift for you <3 (also to motivate you to keep writing more about it!)
*------------------------*
Nightmare gets off his horse as he stares at the castle.
Well. His castle now.
He is still not quite used to that. Refering to it with his castle instead of his mother's.
Even after almost 12 months. He still doesn't expect to see himself in the mirror. or maybe the problem is that he expects his old self. The young teen.
The weakling. The failure.
No focus.
He isn't that anymore. He now has the magic. He is the new powerful leader of his land. And he will make this work. Even if he still has no idea what he is doing.
No. He needs to get back and make sure no one tried to rebel against him. That no one tried to hurt Ccino while he was gone.
Nightmare gets off the horse and someone rushes over to take the horse. Nightmare stares at this person and figures out quickly it is the stablehand who has been taking care of the horses.
Nightmare looks over his shoulder and motions the new people to follow him. The set of brothers, the dog monster. and Killer.
Nightmare walks into the castle as he speaks "Some of the other servants will take you to your chambers to rest and clean up. Tomorrow the three of you will join some of my other staff to see what is needed and where you fit. Killer. You will-"
"My liege."
Nightmare blinks and looks over.
Ccino has appeared out of one of the servant secret passages and walks straight towards him. Nightmare can see, and feel, when Ccino takes in the new people and just who they are.
Ccino's face turns a bit harder and Nightmare can feel the annoyance and frustration in the air "My liege!" Ccino smiles brightly as he speaks "Have you eben succesfull in finding a possible knight?"
Killer chuckles behind him and mutters "someone is in trouble~"
Nightmare knows Killer is being sarcastic. But if only Killer knew how right he was.
Nightmare however could never be worried or afraid off Ccino. For him? Maybe. But never because of him. He gives a tiny nod. The only amount of respect their places and ranks allow them when others are near "Ccino." He waves into the direction of the new arrivals "These people will join my workers." He looks at the four new arrivals "This. Is Ccino. He is head of the house." a title that will never pass away from him. Not as long as Nightmare is in charge.
Ccino nods "Pleasure." he looks back at Nightmare "My liege. If you have the time. There is a matter we need to discuss."
Oh yeah. Nightmare is very much in trouble.
Nightmare's voice is still calm as he speaks "Very well. I will meet you in my study after i made sure they go to their chambers."
Ccino feels unamused but he nods with a bow before he leaves the hall with a quick turn.
Nightmare turns back to his new... servants? He never quite liked that word but it works. He turns to his servants and feel his tentacles slowly rise from their position on the ground. They slowly start to idle again as he makes sure the new people learn where their rooms are and where to get food.
He brings Killer to a room more seperate from the others. Beyond the guard positions. Just because Nightmare wants to give him a chance and the fact he doesn't fear him is refreshing doesn't make Nightmare forget how dangerous Killer is.
Fuck this was a mistake.
What if Killer hurts people here?
What if he hurts Ccino?
Killer looks around his room before lounging on the bed "So what is the deal with the other skeleton?" he grins and wiggles his eye brows "Little secret going on there?"
Ngihtmare needs a moment as he wonders what Killer could mean. Then it sinks in and Nightmare feels his tentacles all spasm as he shudders "No." the answer is final and harsh. Killer actually looks surprised.
Nightmare holds his sight and speaks slowly "I will only repeat this once and remember this well. I don't like having to repeat myself." he holds Killer's gaze "Ccino is head of the house. He will remain head of the house. Nothing anyone can say or do will change this." he holds his gaze before straightening himself again as he moves towards the door "Tomorrow we will start training."
Kilelr sputters "We?!"
Nightmare stops and shoots him a look "Obviously. How am I to keep track of your skills and promise if i don't oversee the training myself?" and he leaves the room.
He hurries back through th castle towards his study. Sinking in and out of shadows as his mind, body and soul all know where he wishes to go.
He stops by his study and enters it.
Ccino is already in there. Studying the old masks in the special glass casing.
Nightmare closes the door and Ccino turns to him with a glare "What were you thinking?"
Nightmare gets taken back to a year or two prior. When he was still small. When he had cut himself to practise for the ritual. He hadn't been able to sleep and had been nervous about the apple ritual already. He had wanted to practise his part. to perform a blood oath to promise loyalty until death to his twin.
Ccino had caught him with a knife out.
Nightmare blinks back into the here and now as Ccino looks at him expecting with his arms crossed.
Nightmare blinks as he looks to the side for a moment. How is it that even wiht him being taller than Ccino he still feels small compared to him? "They were innocent."
Ccino looks unimpressed as he crosses his arms "Now with less lies."
Nightmare blinks and shoot his traitorous tendrils a look. No doubt they did something to give his little slight lie away. Ccino jsut raises a brow as he taps his foot.
Nightmare speaks again "Most of them were innocent. I didnt want them to get hang for something they did not do."
Ccino hums as he waits "And the murderer?"
Nightmare looks at Ccino "how did you know?"
Ccino sighs but has a small smile on his face. an old fond feeling as ccino looks at him and the tiny part of nightmare that had been stressed relaxes. Ccino just keeps looking slightly amused "There is a reason i told you to get out more. you only hear so many things from people in the castle nightmare. You need to go out to hear everything from everyone. I know who he is because i go to the market sometimes."
nightmare gives aslow nod as he looks away. So Ccino knows that nightmare brought a serial killer home. great.
Ccino sighs and sits on the couch for visitors and Nightmare joins him instead of sitting in his own chair.
Ccino looks at him "Just... tell me what happened. Why did you decide this?"
Ngihtmare looks at his hands. again slightly shocked to see the goop. It never stains anything yet it feels like a reminder. It is dirty. it isn't the holy light the powers promised. it is weird and looks diseased which is fitting for him. someone who betrayed everyone. who betrayed his twin. He may have gone it to protect dream. But even dream doesn't see this.
Where does that leave him?
Ccino's hand rubs his cheek and Nightmare shakes himself out of it. Ccino looks so worried as he rubs his skull "Hey... it is okay... i am not mad at you. I am worried about you. I am sorry if it seemed like i was mad."
Nightmare knows ccino isn't mad at him. Not like that at least. Nightmare can feel that. But he likes that ccino still tells him as much too.
Nightmare sighs as he leans into the gentle hold and touch. Ccino had always been one of the few to hold him. As his and Dream's babysitter it had been his job. But Ccino had always truly cared about them both. The moment that Nightmare could feel emotions he had been shocked by that.
That Ccino held no hatred for him. Not even a little bit. He enver blamed either Nightmare or Dream for his situation.
Nightmare speaks softly "The... kngihts you picked out. they were amazing. They showed much promise and would have made fine warriors."
Ccino hums as he keeps rubbing his skull "But?"
Nightmare sighs "They hated me. Even if with time they would eventually grow loyal and accept their place. They would forever hold resentment towards me for making them come."
Ccino hums and nods "I get it. It were only options Ngihtmare. there will be more people who fit the job."
Nightmare feels another part of him relax. knowing that Ccino still understands him "Killer wasn't afraid."
Ccino hums questioning.
Nightmare speaks slowly "He wasn't afraid. Not of me. Not of his situation. He stood up when near me. He didn't cower and he didn't hide." he sighs as he leans into the hug. He shouldn't need these anymore. He is an adult now and not that awkward young teen anymore. Nightmare shouldn't still count this much on the other "He saw me and didn't hate me. He knew who i was and didn't hate me. It was... new."
Ccino still feels unsure but he holds him still "And that gave you hope? That maybe if soemone didn't start with that hatred they could maybe become truly loyal?"
Ngihtmare shrugs. He isn't quite sure. he didn't think that far ahead. He just didn't want to lose another person who didn't hate him.
Ccino sighs as he keeps rubbing his skull and the back of his neck "I won't say i trust him. Because i don't. And I worry about you. I am scared he will end up hurting you."
Nightmare rolls his eyes as he answers "I have yet to even lose a fight and i had almost no training." all because of his tentacles and his newfoudn power.
Ccino just holds him tighter "There are more ways someone can hurt you Nightmare."
Nightmare feels the fear of before return. THe idea that somoene would kill Ccino. "If... if him being here makes you feel unsafe i will return him to the guards."
Ccino laughs and shakes his skull "Ngihtmare I am fine. I am not scared for me."
Nightmare keeps holding him as he feels himself start to shake. fears he had been trying to ignore and push away return to the front of his mind "Waht if they realise just how important you are? What if they try to hurt you to hurt me? What if they kill you to hurt me? Ccino maybe it is better if you hide." hide... hide away... out of sight out of mind.
Ccino just rubs his neck "It is okay Nightmare. It is okay. They don't know. and even if they have an idea your reputation adn the past of this country will just make them think I am someone who will be used as sacrifice last. That i will be punished last or least."
Nightmare shakes as he keeps holding the one person who remained "What if they hurt you because of me?"
Ccino is so calm and sure "then it would be on them. Not you. You don't want others to hurt me. It wouldn't be your fualt Nightmare and I will never see it as your fault. It is okay."
Ngihtmare still feels unsure. He made it obviously clear to Killer that Ccino is improtant. Killer is smart and Nightmare has no idea what he could be planning.
Another thought enters his mind. Somethign he had found early on in his ruling.
A very very damning piece of paper. a slave contract.
Nightmare speaks softly "I am sorry you are stuck here..."
Ccino shrugs as he keeps rubbing his back "Not your fault."
Nightmare shakes as he holds him "I.... I can undo it... I can give you back your freedom..."
Ccino had been taken from his home. Sold to the castle with a very clear purpose. First to be a babysitter. and later... well... Drema had been planning to be all powerful and go from young teen to adult in just one ritual. There is a reason Ccino's age had been only 6 years older than them.
Ccino had been suposed to be Dream's from the very start.
Ccino hums "A nice thought. Not that i thought about that contract in a long time. It hardly matters nowadays. Not like I can just leave."
Nightmare feels his grip tighten and his tendrils curl around them. He doesn't want to let go of the one person who cared. The one person he could count on to help him. To give a single shit about Nightmare. But... but how long will it take before Ccino starts hating him? If Nightmare keeps him here?
Nightmare holds him close "I... I can get you a horse... I can give you gold..." He will just use some of the treasury. Ccino deserves it. "I can send some guards with you on your way. You could go wherever you want. Back to your family."
Ccino locks both his arms around his skull and hums softly. an old lullaby and Nightmare stops. The amount of memories almost hurt. It was always Ccino who held him on bad nights. Or when he was sad. Or when everyone pushed him aside again.
Ccino speaks sfotly "Nightmare. When I say i can't leave i don't mean i physically can't leave. It means i don't want to. I decided a while ago i want to stay here Nightmare."
Nightmare shakes but refuses to let go "What... what about your family?" Ccino's fmaily have to love him. Ccino is so amazing. There is no way he isn't missed dearly after he was stolen from them.
Ccino sighs sadly "Nightmare... They have been killed a long time ago. The day i was taken the guards made sure i knew there was nothing to return to. even if i ran." Ngihtmare feels himself freeze. why... why had he thought?
Ccino rubs his skull "It hurt a lot but i accepted a long time ago Nightmare. I accepted that you two were my family now... and well... now it is just you. and it is okay. I am okay with that. I will always support you Nightmare." he grins "You may be older now but i like to think i am still the older brother."
Nightmare feels aprt of himself break as he just sinks fully into Ccino's hold "please don't also leave me." it is weak. it is pathetic. He should be stronger than this. He should have been prepared for this.
Ccino just covers his skull wiht his body and holds him "I am not going anywhere Nightmare. I will be by your side. I swear on my soul."
Nightmare relaxes and lets himself enjoy the comfort he should not need this badly. He enjoys it and can't help but let his eyes slide around the room. His sight finds the masks and remembers.
The masks are the highest honour. only shared with those most special.
He thinks something catlike will fit his older brother.
#utmv#NewAgeAU#I am not gonna lie.#I could not for even a second remember if we like... spoke about which mask Ccino would have#but also like.#All the guys get cats.#Ccino OWNS a cat cafe in his own story.#This dude? 100% got the first cat mask.#the OG#it would ahve bene a house cat.#but anyone who has ever had or known cat knows not to underestimate a cat#*remembers the video of cats scaring of BEARS because that is THEIR house*#Also i couldn't fit it in but Ccino probably alreayd has liek 20ish cats roaming the area.#Nightmare is going to change nim's old wing into a cat wing.#so ccino has more room for even more cats.#Their capital city is NEVER going to see another mouse or rat ever again#I decided to add this silly energy becuase i may or may not have writen another slight gut punch#I don't know why angst/fluff combi is so easy for me to just go towards. it just happens!#also i am so sorry. i feel like i am changing the more neutral relationship you have between ccino and nightmare towards. older adopted bro#this does imply that ccino is upper big bro which is real funny to me.#also i started thinking about why ccino would even BE there. and well... skeleton. aged to first take care of them#but then perfect age to assist and support them as adult?#yeah. They were totally planning on just gifting ccino to dream after the pwoer boost like “here you go! Yours!”#be it mate or husband or like harem member. they didn't care. ccino was just a servant meant ot serve the ruler no matter what.#okay i will stop now.#Hope you enjoy your little gift ;)
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faaun · 4 months ago
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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kingslionheart · 11 days ago
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today i met my childhood best friend at my lecture LIKE !!! that's the kid i used to play pretend with !!! why do you have a beard
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lockhinge · 3 months ago
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Player: —Wait, are you now saying that there is evolution in D&D?
DM: Yes?
Player: NO.
DM: Why not—
Player: Because!! I don't want to have to think about the evolutionary path of centaurs, okay!? I don't want to have to think about how that happened. I don't want to imagine... Like... Top half is Australopithecus and the bottom is like Mesohippus, or some shit...
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hualianisms · 1 year ago
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fenglian nation how are we feeling
keep in mind that the last time they ever spoke was when they had that painful argument that ended with xie lian telling feng xin to stop following. and then they never saw each other again for 800 years. the fenglian angst hitting hard....
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ceiling-karasu · 4 months ago
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Three New Chapters of The Rod That Blocks The Lightning
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botopsy · 1 month ago
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hey remember when they launched a drone into space to play the first tfone trailer. that was this year. what was that about
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