#but anyone who has ever had or known cat knows not to underestimate a cat

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Understanding

Hey @spotaus !! As promised :3 I got a little something for you!

Your drabble got me thinking and made me consider something. (also i am so sorry if i got the ages wrong. I really tried)

As always. Feel free to use whatever you want from it or just ignore what doesn't fit <3 I am just having fun and it is meant as a gift for you <3 (also to motivate you to keep writing more about it!)

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Nightmare gets off his horse as he stares at the castle.

Well. His castle now.

He is still not quite used to that. Refering to it with his castle instead of his mother's.

Even after almost 12 months. He still doesn't expect to see himself in the mirror. or maybe the problem is that he expects his old self. The young teen.

The weakling. The failure.

No focus.

He isn't that anymore. He now has the magic. He is the new powerful leader of his land. And he will make this work. Even if he still has no idea what he is doing.

No. He needs to get back and make sure no one tried to rebel against him. That no one tried to hurt Ccino while he was gone.

Nightmare gets off the horse and someone rushes over to take the horse. Nightmare stares at this person and figures out quickly it is the stablehand who has been taking care of the horses.

Nightmare looks over his shoulder and motions the new people to follow him. The set of brothers, the dog monster. and Killer.

Nightmare walks into the castle as he speaks "Some of the other servants will take you to your chambers to rest and clean up. Tomorrow the three of you will join some of my other staff to see what is needed and where you fit. Killer. You will-"

"My liege."

Nightmare blinks and looks over.

Ccino has appeared out of one of the servant secret passages and walks straight towards him. Nightmare can see, and feel, when Ccino takes in the new people and just who they are.

Ccino's face turns a bit harder and Nightmare can feel the annoyance and frustration in the air "My liege!" Ccino smiles brightly as he speaks "Have you eben succesfull in finding a possible knight?"

Killer chuckles behind him and mutters "someone is in trouble~"

Nightmare knows Killer is being sarcastic. But if only Killer knew how right he was.

Nightmare however could never be worried or afraid off Ccino. For him? Maybe. But never because of him. He gives a tiny nod. The only amount of respect their places and ranks allow them when others are near "Ccino." He waves into the direction of the new arrivals "These people will join my workers." He looks at the four new arrivals "This. Is Ccino. He is head of the house." a title that will never pass away from him. Not as long as Nightmare is in charge.

Ccino nods "Pleasure." he looks back at Nightmare "My liege. If you have the time. There is a matter we need to discuss."

Oh yeah. Nightmare is very much in trouble.

Nightmare's voice is still calm as he speaks "Very well. I will meet you in my study after i made sure they go to their chambers."

Ccino feels unamused but he nods with a bow before he leaves the hall with a quick turn.

Nightmare turns back to his new... servants? He never quite liked that word but it works. He turns to his servants and feel his tentacles slowly rise from their position on the ground. They slowly start to idle again as he makes sure the new people learn where their rooms are and where to get food.

He brings Killer to a room more seperate from the others. Beyond the guard positions. Just because Nightmare wants to give him a chance and the fact he doesn't fear him is refreshing doesn't make Nightmare forget how dangerous Killer is.

Fuck this was a mistake.

What if Killer hurts people here?

What if he hurts Ccino?

Killer looks around his room before lounging on the bed "So what is the deal with the other skeleton?" he grins and wiggles his eye brows "Little secret going on there?"

Ngihtmare needs a moment as he wonders what Killer could mean. Then it sinks in and Nightmare feels his tentacles all spasm as he shudders "No." the answer is final and harsh. Killer actually looks surprised.

Nightmare holds his sight and speaks slowly "I will only repeat this once and remember this well. I don't like having to repeat myself." he holds Killer's gaze "Ccino is head of the house. He will remain head of the house. Nothing anyone can say or do will change this." he holds his gaze before straightening himself again as he moves towards the door "Tomorrow we will start training."

Kilelr sputters "We?!"

Nightmare stops and shoots him a look "Obviously. How am I to keep track of your skills and promise if i don't oversee the training myself?" and he leaves the room.

He hurries back through th castle towards his study. Sinking in and out of shadows as his mind, body and soul all know where he wishes to go.

He stops by his study and enters it.

Ccino is already in there. Studying the old masks in the special glass casing.

Nightmare closes the door and Ccino turns to him with a glare "What were you thinking?"

Nightmare gets taken back to a year or two prior. When he was still small. When he had cut himself to practise for the ritual. He hadn't been able to sleep and had been nervous about the apple ritual already. He had wanted to practise his part. to perform a blood oath to promise loyalty until death to his twin.

Ccino had caught him with a knife out.

Nightmare blinks back into the here and now as Ccino looks at him expecting with his arms crossed.

Nightmare blinks as he looks to the side for a moment. How is it that even wiht him being taller than Ccino he still feels small compared to him? "They were innocent."

Ccino looks unimpressed as he crosses his arms "Now with less lies."

Nightmare blinks and shoot his traitorous tendrils a look. No doubt they did something to give his little slight lie away. Ccino jsut raises a brow as he taps his foot.

Nightmare speaks again "Most of them were innocent. I didnt want them to get hang for something they did not do."

Ccino hums as he waits "And the murderer?"

Nightmare looks at Ccino "how did you know?"

Ccino sighs but has a small smile on his face. an old fond feeling as ccino looks at him and the tiny part of nightmare that had been stressed relaxes. Ccino just keeps looking slightly amused "There is a reason i told you to get out more. you only hear so many things from people in the castle nightmare. You need to go out to hear everything from everyone. I know who he is because i go to the market sometimes."

nightmare gives aslow nod as he looks away. So Ccino knows that nightmare brought a serial killer home. great.

Ccino sighs and sits on the couch for visitors and Nightmare joins him instead of sitting in his own chair.

Ccino looks at him "Just... tell me what happened. Why did you decide this?"

Ngihtmare looks at his hands. again slightly shocked to see the goop. It never stains anything yet it feels like a reminder. It is dirty. it isn't the holy light the powers promised. it is weird and looks diseased which is fitting for him. someone who betrayed everyone. who betrayed his twin. He may have gone it to protect dream. But even dream doesn't see this.

Where does that leave him?

Ccino's hand rubs his cheek and Nightmare shakes himself out of it. Ccino looks so worried as he rubs his skull "Hey... it is okay... i am not mad at you. I am worried about you. I am sorry if it seemed like i was mad."

Nightmare knows ccino isn't mad at him. Not like that at least. Nightmare can feel that. But he likes that ccino still tells him as much too.

Nightmare sighs as he leans into the gentle hold and touch. Ccino had always been one of the few to hold him. As his and Dream's babysitter it had been his job. But Ccino had always truly cared about them both. The moment that Nightmare could feel emotions he had been shocked by that.

That Ccino held no hatred for him. Not even a little bit. He enver blamed either Nightmare or Dream for his situation.

Nightmare speaks softly "The... kngihts you picked out. they were amazing. They showed much promise and would have made fine warriors."

Ccino hums as he keeps rubbing his skull "But?"

Nightmare sighs "They hated me. Even if with time they would eventually grow loyal and accept their place. They would forever hold resentment towards me for making them come."

Ccino hums and nods "I get it. It were only options Ngihtmare. there will be more people who fit the job."

Nightmare feels another part of him relax. knowing that Ccino still understands him "Killer wasn't afraid."

Ccino hums questioning.

Nightmare speaks slowly "He wasn't afraid. Not of me. Not of his situation. He stood up when near me. He didn't cower and he didn't hide." he sighs as he leans into the hug. He shouldn't need these anymore. He is an adult now and not that awkward young teen anymore. Nightmare shouldn't still count this much on the other "He saw me and didn't hate me. He knew who i was and didn't hate me. It was... new."

Ccino still feels unsure but he holds him still "And that gave you hope? That maybe if soemone didn't start with that hatred they could maybe become truly loyal?"

Ngihtmare shrugs. He isn't quite sure. he didn't think that far ahead. He just didn't want to lose another person who didn't hate him.

Ccino sighs as he keeps rubbing his skull and the back of his neck "I won't say i trust him. Because i don't. And I worry about you. I am scared he will end up hurting you."

Nightmare rolls his eyes as he answers "I have yet to even lose a fight and i had almost no training." all because of his tentacles and his newfoudn power.

Ccino just holds him tighter "There are more ways someone can hurt you Nightmare."

Nightmare feels the fear of before return. THe idea that somoene would kill Ccino. "If... if him being here makes you feel unsafe i will return him to the guards."

Ccino laughs and shakes his skull "Ngihtmare I am fine. I am not scared for me."

Nightmare keeps holding him as he feels himself start to shake. fears he had been trying to ignore and push away return to the front of his mind "Waht if they realise just how important you are? What if they try to hurt you to hurt me? What if they kill you to hurt me? Ccino maybe it is better if you hide." hide... hide away... out of sight out of mind.

Ccino just rubs his neck "It is okay Nightmare. It is okay. They don't know. and even if they have an idea your reputation adn the past of this country will just make them think I am someone who will be used as sacrifice last. That i will be punished last or least."

Nightmare shakes as he keeps holding the one person who remained "What if they hurt you because of me?"

Ccino is so calm and sure "then it would be on them. Not you. You don't want others to hurt me. It wouldn't be your fualt Nightmare and I will never see it as your fault. It is okay."

Ngihtmare still feels unsure. He made it obviously clear to Killer that Ccino is improtant. Killer is smart and Nightmare has no idea what he could be planning.

Another thought enters his mind. Somethign he had found early on in his ruling.

A very very damning piece of paper. a slave contract.

Nightmare speaks softly "I am sorry you are stuck here..."

Ccino shrugs as he keeps rubbing his back "Not your fault."

Nightmare shakes as he holds him "I.... I can undo it... I can give you back your freedom..."

Ccino had been taken from his home. Sold to the castle with a very clear purpose. First to be a babysitter. and later... well... Drema had been planning to be all powerful and go from young teen to adult in just one ritual. There is a reason Ccino's age had been only 6 years older than them.

Ccino had been suposed to be Dream's from the very start.

Ccino hums "A nice thought. Not that i thought about that contract in a long time. It hardly matters nowadays. Not like I can just leave."

Nightmare feels his grip tighten and his tendrils curl around them. He doesn't want to let go of the one person who cared. The one person he could count on to help him. To give a single shit about Nightmare. But... but how long will it take before Ccino starts hating him? If Nightmare keeps him here?

Nightmare holds him close "I... I can get you a horse... I can give you gold..." He will just use some of the treasury. Ccino deserves it. "I can send some guards with you on your way. You could go wherever you want. Back to your family."

Ccino locks both his arms around his skull and hums softly. an old lullaby and Nightmare stops. The amount of memories almost hurt. It was always Ccino who held him on bad nights. Or when he was sad. Or when everyone pushed him aside again.

Ccino speaks sfotly "Nightmare. When I say i can't leave i don't mean i physically can't leave. It means i don't want to. I decided a while ago i want to stay here Nightmare."

Nightmare shakes but refuses to let go "What... what about your family?" Ccino's fmaily have to love him. Ccino is so amazing. There is no way he isn't missed dearly after he was stolen from them.

Ccino sighs sadly "Nightmare... They have been killed a long time ago. The day i was taken the guards made sure i knew there was nothing to return to. even if i ran." Ngihtmare feels himself freeze. why... why had he thought?

Ccino rubs his skull "It hurt a lot but i accepted a long time ago Nightmare. I accepted that you two were my family now... and well... now it is just you. and it is okay. I am okay with that. I will always support you Nightmare." he grins "You may be older now but i like to think i am still the older brother."

Nightmare feels aprt of himself break as he just sinks fully into Ccino's hold "please don't also leave me." it is weak. it is pathetic. He should be stronger than this. He should have been prepared for this.

Ccino just covers his skull wiht his body and holds him "I am not going anywhere Nightmare. I will be by your side. I swear on my soul."

Nightmare relaxes and lets himself enjoy the comfort he should not need this badly. He enjoys it and can't help but let his eyes slide around the room. His sight finds the masks and remembers.

The masks are the highest honour. only shared with those most special.

He thinks something catlike will fit his older brother.

[shiorihyugawrites]

The Legendary Black Cat

Selena de la Rosa, known across Marley as the Legendary Black Cat, is the world's deadliest assassin—a master of agility, precision, and deception. When Marley turns against her, she is shipped to Paradis as a living weapon, chained and drugged, with her survival all but assured to be short-lived. But Selena is no ordinary prisoner.

Bound by no one, loyal to none, Selena plots her next move, determined to seize her freedom by any means necessary. Yet, her plans are complicated by the Scouts who captured her, particularly Captain Levi Ackerman—the so-called Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Selena is intrigued by his strength and reputation, but her pride refuses to acknowledge him as her equal.

Caught between Levi’s unrelenting gaze, Selena plays a dangerous game of manipulation. She’s biding her time, but when the moment comes, will her calculated escape bring her freedom—or will her path collide violently with Levi’s unwavering resolve?

The Black Cat has always landed on her feet, but for the first time, she might meet her match. (Levi x OC)

Chapter Three

The first rays of sunlight filtered through the thin canvas of the tent, casting a pale glow over Selena’s bound figure. She hadn’t slept—not even for a moment. Her poison-green eyes, sharp and alert, stared at the wooden beam above her, thoughts churning as the faint, rhythmic sound of ocean waves reached her ears. The scent of salt lingered in the air, a tantalizing reminder of her proximity to the shore.

Selena’s lips curled into a faint smirk. She was close. The sea wasn’t far, but freedom was more distant than it had ever been. Trying to escape this island immediately would be reckless. She didn’t even know where she was or how far it stretched. No, she needed more information, and the only way to get that was to scout the area herself.

Her fingers brushed against the loose bolts on her cuffs, the fruits of her meticulous work throughout the night. The restraints were primitive compared to Marley’s, designed for containment, not a skilled escape artist. Selena suppressed a laugh at the thought. They had no idea who they were dealing with. The Black Cat couldn’t be caged—not for long.

She rolled her wrists slightly, careful not to alert anyone outside. She could hear faint voices—their tones unmistakable even through the canvas. Levi, Erwin, and Hange. They hadn’t strayed far, likely ensuring she stayed under their watchful eyes. Selena had expected nothing less.

Erwin’s deep, authoritative voice carried through first. “We’ll maintain shifts throughout the day. She hasn’t made a move yet, but it’s only a matter of time.”

Hange’s voice followed, lighter but no less sharp. “Oh, I’m certain she’s plotting. She didn’t strike me as the type to sit idle and wait for her fate to be decided.”

“Then you should stop underestimating her,” Levi’s cold voice cut in, sharper than the edge of his blades. “She’s not like the others we’ve faced. That woman is calculating. I saw it in her eyes.”

Selena’s smirk widened slightly at his words. Capitán, you see me, don’t you? Her pride swelled at the idea that he’d recognized her for what she was: a predator. But then, that was what intrigued her most about him. Levi Ackerman wasn’t like the men she’d killed before, nor was he like the cowards in Marley who trembled at her name.

He was different. The Beast Titan feared him, and from what she’d gathered, he was revered as Humanity’s Strongest Soldier. It was a reputation that Selena found both amusing and enticing. He may have been Humanity’s Strongest, but she was the Black Cat—the Greatest Assassin in the World. And she couldn’t resist a challenge.

Her mind wandered back to their earlier conversation. The way Levi had stood so close, his eyes boring into her with that unrelenting intensity. She had seen men like him before—or at least she thought she had. Warriors, killers, soldiers who moved like weapons themselves. But Levi was more than that. He had precision, control, and a presence that demanded attention without ever raising his voice.

Selena rolled her shoulders slightly, testing the tension in her chains again. She would wait until tonight, under the cover of darkness, to make her move. But when she did, she wouldn’t just run. She wanted to see this so-called “Humanity’s Strongest Soldier” in action. She wanted to test him, challenge him—to see if he could match her skill.

The thought made her smirk again. Levi Ackerman might be formidable, but she relished the chance to prove herself superior. After all, the Black Cat didn’t take titles like “Greatest Assassin in the World” lightly.

Outside, the morning briefing continued, their words barely audible but enough to keep her attention.

“Do we need to keep her here?” Hange asked. “If she’s so dangerous, why not move her to a stronger location?”

“She’s dangerous,” Levi replied curtly. “Moving her risks giving her an opening.”

Erwin’s voice was calm but decisive. “She stays here for now. Until we know what she’s planning, we don’t move her.”

Selena’s eyes glinted with amusement. Smart, Commander, she thought. But not smart enough.

She shifted slightly on the cot, careful not to make a sound. She could wait. She was patient, after all. And tonight, when the camp was cloaked in shadows, she’d show them exactly why Marley had feared her for so long.

As the day dragged on, the voices outside grew more sporadic, the morning’s tension giving way to the steady rhythm of camp activity. Scouts moved about the camp, their footsteps faint but discernible. Selena kept her breathing slow and steady, her mind focused entirely on her escape.

Every detail of the camp’s layout she’d gathered from sound alone. The slight clinking of armor as guards passed by, the scrape of boots on rocky soil, the distant sound of horses being tended to—it all painted a picture in her mind. She didn’t need to see to understand her surroundings. And when the time came, she would use that understanding to her advantage.

But for now, she waited.

…

The air inside the interrogation tent was thick with tension. Levi, Erwin, and Hange stood before the bound Marleyan prisoners, their expressions grim and unrelenting. The flickering lantern cast shadows over the weary faces of the captives, but it was clear their exhaustion did little to lessen their fear.

Erwin’s voice broke the silence, calm but cutting. “We need to know more about Selena de la Rosa. Who is she, and why does Marley fear her as much as it seems to?”

The lead prisoner, a middle-aged man with a gaunt face and a trembling lip, looked up at the towering commander. His voice cracked as he began, “Selena… she was ranked number one in Marley’s assassination program. She isn’t just dangerous; she’s death incarnate.”

Levi folded his arms, his sharp eyes narrowing. “Start from the beginning. What assassination program?”

The prisoner swallowed hard, his eyes darting nervously between the three scouts. “It started twenty years ago. Marley needed a way to maintain control in the shadows—beyond Titans, beyond armies. So, they created a program. They kidnapped children from the territories they conquered. Over a hundred of them—boys, girls, all from different races, all from around the world.”

“And they trained them to kill,” Erwin guessed, his tone clipped.

The prisoner nodded, his face pale. “Yes. From childhood. The training was brutal, and inhumane. They stripped them of their identities, their innocence, their humanity. The goal was to break them completely and rebuild them into killers.”

“How many survived?” Hange asked, her voice tinged with both horror and curiosity.

“Only ten,” the prisoner whispered. “Out of over a hundred children, only ten survived the training. The rest… died.”

The Scouts exchanged grim looks. Levi’s expression hardened, though he remained silent, his gaze fixed on the prisoner.

“They gave them codenames,” the man continued. “Selena de la Rosa was the Black Cat. Then there was the Hummingbird, Salamander, and others. Each of them was a master of their craft, but Selena… she was the best. Number one.”

“Number one?” Levi asked coldly. “What made her different?”

The prisoner’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “She never failed. No matter the mission, no matter the odds—Selena always succeeded. She’s a master of stealth, manipulation, and precision. They used her to topple governments, assassinate leaders, destabilize entire regions. Titan power was great for war, but Selena and the others… they were used for something more precise. When Marley wanted specific people gone, they sent her.”

Hange leaned forward slightly, her curiosity piqued. “So, she’s not just a killer—she’s an architect of chaos.”

The prisoner nodded. “Exactly. Marley used them to change the world without anyone realizing it. And Selena… she survived training that would’ve killed anyone else. They pushed her to the brink of death again and again, but she always came back stronger.”

Erwin’s face was unreadable, but his voice carried the weight of his thoughts. “You’re telling us that Marley created a weapon that doesn’t rely on Titan power. A weapon that could operate anywhere, anytime, undetected.”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you,” the prisoner said. He hesitated, then added in a trembling voice, “If you want to live, don’t underestimate her. Selena de la Rosa is cunning, a master manipulator. Even when she seems vulnerable, she’s always in control.”

Levi’s gray eyes darkened, his mind racing as he pieced together what he’d seen so far. He didn’t trust Selena from the moment she spoke, but now it was clear his instincts were right. She wasn’t just dangerous—she was on another level entirely.

Before Erwin could ask another question, a blood-curdling scream pierced the air outside the tent.

The Scouts froze, their heads snapping toward the sound. More screams followed, mixed with the thud of bodies hitting the ground and panicked shouts. Levi’s blades were in his hands before the others could react.

“What the hell?” Hange muttered, already moving toward the tent’s entrance.

Erwin’s voice was sharp and commanding. “Stay together. Move.”

The three stepped out into chaos. The camp was in disarray—several scouts lay on the ground, groaning or unconscious, while others scrambled to assess the situation. No one appeared to be dead, but the injuries were widespread. Blood smeared the dirt where a young Scout clutched his arm, his face twisted in pain.

“Report!” Erwin barked, his voice cutting through the chaos like a whip.

One of the Scouts staggered to his feet, his eyes wide with terror. “It’s her! The Black Cat—she broke out!”

“What?” Levi demanded, his voice ice-cold. He strode forward, grabbing the scout by the front of his jacket. “Explain. Now.”

The young man trembled, his voice shaky. “I-I was patrolling near the tent. Everything was quiet, and then suddenly she was just… there. She moved so fast, I couldn’t—” He broke off, glancing nervously at Levi. “She didn’t kill anyone. She just… knocked us out or injured us. But she’s gone.”

“Gone where?” Hange asked, her voice tight with disbelief.

The Scout shook his head helplessly. “I don’t know. She disappeared into the woods.”

Levi released the scout with a shove, his jaw clenched as he scanned the area. His sharp eyes took in the scene—the bodies strewn across the ground, the untouched tent where Selena had been held, and the faint trail of disrupted dirt leading toward the forest. She had planned this. The realization sent a surge of both anger and grudging respect through him.

Erwin stepped forward, his face grim. “She played us,” he said quietly. “She waited until the perfect moment.”

“Tch,” Levi muttered, his grip tightening on his blades. “She’s been plotting since the moment she woke up.”

Hange adjusted her glasses, her mind clearly racing. “She didn’t kill anyone. If she wanted to, she could’ve wiped out half the camp.”

“She doesn’t need to kill us,” Levi said coldly. “She’s already won. She’s free.”

Another scout staggered toward them, clutching his ribs. His face was pale with fear as he looked up at Levi, Erwin, and Hange. “It’s her,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “The Black Cat… she broke her cuffs. She’s gone.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed, his expression deadly. “Then we find her.”

The night had been hers, but Levi Ackerman was determined to make sure the Black Cat wouldn’t land on her feet so easily the next time.

…

Flashback: Fifteen Minutes Earlier

The tent was quiet, dimly lit by the flicker of a single lantern. Selena sat bound against the wooden beam, her expression blank but her mind sharp and calculating. The moment of freedom she had been patiently plotting was finally within reach. Every detail, every sound, every movement outside had been carefully cataloged in her mind. She had tested the cuffs earlier, confirming that her wrists were loose enough to slip out if the opportunity arose. Now, all she needed was the right moment.

Two young guards stood inside the tent. They were nervous, shifting awkwardly on their feet, and Selena could tell they were new. Their uniforms were too crisp, their stances unpracticed. Children, she thought with a pang of something like guilt. She had no intention of killing them, but they were in her way.

Selena’s lips curled into the faintest smirk before she schooled her expression into one of vulnerability. She let out a soft, trembling sigh, catching their attention.

“Please,” she murmured, her voice delicate and sweet. “I’m so cold.”

The guards stiffened, exchanging uncertain glances. One of them, a blond boy who couldn’t have been older than sixteen, frowned. “We’re not supposed to talk to you,” he said, though his voice lacked conviction.

“I don’t want to cause trouble,” Selena said, her tone pleading. “I just… I’m freezing.” She glanced down at herself, her body barely concealed beneath Levi’s cape. “Please, can’t you give me something warm? Anything?”

The second guard, a dark-haired boy with a kind face, hesitated. “I-I don’t know,” he stammered, glancing at his companion. “Maybe we should ask—”

“She’s dangerous,” the blond boy interrupted, his tone firming. “We can’t trust her.”

Selena let out a soft, pitiful whimper, lowering her gaze as if ashamed. “I understand,” she said quietly. “I’m just so cold… I won’t even try to move. Please. I just want to feel warm for a moment.”

The dark-haired boy’s resolve cracked. He stepped forward, unfastening his own Scout Regiment cape. “It’s just a blanket,” he said to the blond boy. “It won’t hurt.”

Selena’s heart raced, though she kept her expression demure. The moment the boy leaned down to drape the cape over her shoulders, she made her move.

With a swift, practiced motion, she yanked her hands free from the loosened cuffs and swung them like a weapon. The heavy metal struck the blond guard across the temple, and he crumpled to the ground, unconscious.

The dark-haired boy gasped, stumbling back, but Selena was faster. She twisted Levi’s cape into a makeshift garrote, looping it around the boy’s neck before he could react. His hands clawed at the fabric as she tightened it, her movements efficient and precise. Within moments, his body went limp, and she carefully lowered him to the ground.

Selena crouched over the two guards, her breath steady as she checked their pulses. Alive. They would wake up with headaches and bruises, but they would live.

“Sorry, niños (boys),” she murmured softly. “You’ll thank me later.”

She quickly adjusted Levi’s cape back over her body, her movements swift and calculated. She glanced at the blades on the guards’ hips—sharp, sleek, and connected to some kind of mechanism by cords. Selena had heard rumors of Marley’s enemies using this technology. What was it called? ODM gear?

Selena reached for the blades, cutting the cords with one of them so she was left with two sharp swords, unencumbered by the rest of the gear. Perfect.

Now came the next step: clothing. She couldn’t very well run through the forest naked, even with Levi’s cape. Staying silent, Selena slipped out of the tent, her footsteps soft as a cat’s. The camp was still stirring with early morning activity, but her sharp eyes spotted a storage chest tucked away behind another tent. She crept toward it, her heart pounding as she rummaged through its contents.

An old brown dress lay at the bottom of the chest. It was too large for her, but it would have to do. Selena slipped it over her head, grimacing at the way it hung loosely on her frame. With one of the blades, she sliced it to mid-thigh length, giving herself the mobility she needed.

“Better,” she muttered under her breath, securing the belt around her waist. As she turned to leave, a Scout entered the tent, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of her.

“Hey!” he shouted, reaching for his weapon.

Selena moved before he could draw. She darted forward, her blade catching the edge of his sword and twisting it out of his grip. A quick kick to his chest sent him sprawling to the ground. Before he could recover, Selena struck the back of his head with the hilt of her blade, knocking him unconscious.

The commotion outside grew louder. Selena stepped out of the tent to find several Scouts already alerted to the disturbance. Among them, were Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, and Sasha—all young and utterly unprepared for what was coming.

“Children,” Selena muttered, shaking her head. “Amateurs.”

Jean pointed at her, shouting, “She’s loose! Stop her!”

Selena’s lips curled into a smirk. “Try.”

The Scouts charged, but they were no match for her. Selena moved like water, her blades flashing as she disarmed and incapacitated them one by one. Jean fell first, knocked out by a well-placed strike to the temple. Connie followed, clutching his ribs as he hit the ground. Sasha’s bow never even left her back before Selena swept her legs out from under her.

Armin and Eren lunged at her together, but Selena sidestepped their clumsy attacks with ease. She struck Armin’s pressure points, leaving him crumpled on the ground, then twisted Eren’s arm behind his back until he cried out in pain before shoving him to the dirt.

Mikasa was the only one who gave her pause. The girl moved with precision and skill, her strikes deliberate and calculated. But Selena was faster. She deflected Mikasa’s blade with her own, spinning behind her and delivering a swift kick that sent her sprawling.

In less than two minutes, it was over. Selena stood amidst the groaning scouts, her breath steady, her blades gleaming.

“You’re skilled,” she said, glancing at Mikasa. “But not enough.”

She didn’t linger. The forest loomed ahead, dark and inviting. Selena darted toward it, her body moving with the grace and speed of her namesake. The Black Cat had escaped.

…

Present Time

Fifteen minutes later, Levi, Erwin, and Hange stood outside, surveying the chaos she had left behind. Injured Scouts groaned on the ground, and the forest swallowed any trace of Selena’s presence.

The hunt was on.

Levi stood in the middle of the carnage Selena de la Rosa had left behind, his sharp gray eyes surveying the groaning scouts sprawled across the ground. Injured, embarrassed, and utterly humiliated, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Connie, and Sasha struggled to pick themselves up, each wearing expressions ranging from frustration to outright disbelief. None of them had ever encountered an opponent like her before. None of them had imagined such speed, precision, and raw confidence in anyone but Levi himself.

“She didn’t even kill us,” Eren muttered, his fists clenching in frustration. “She could have, but she didn’t.”

“She didn’t need to,” Mikasa said quietly, her voice tight. Her hand rested against her side, where Selena had struck her with surprising accuracy. “She wanted to humiliate us. And she did.”

Connie groaned as he sat up, rubbing the back of his head. “I’ve never seen anyone move like that before. It was like trying to fight a ghost.”

“Not just a ghost,” Jean said bitterly, nursing a bruised jaw. “A ghost with claws.”

Levi’s gaze cut through them like a blade, his disappointment palpable. “Enough. You got sloppy. All of you.”

“But Captain—” Eren began, only for Levi to silence him with a sharp glare.

“She didn’t kill anyone,” Levi said flatly. “That’s the only reason you’re still standing. If she wanted to, she could’ve gutted each of you before you even drew your swords.”

“Why didn’t she, then?” Sasha asked hesitantly, her voice small. “Why didn’t she kill us?”

Levi didn’t answer immediately. Instead, his mind turned back to what the Marleyans had told them. Selena had refused to titanize Eldian children, an act of defiance that had led to Marley’s betrayal. Despite her ruthless reputation, she had spared every scout she had encountered tonight. Could it be true? Did she really care about children—and, by extension, the younger soldiers under his command?

“Doesn’t matter,” Levi said finally, his voice cold. “What matters is that she’s out there, and we’re going after her.”

Erwin strode into the scene, his commanding voice cutting through the tension. “Anyone who can move, move out. Now. We cannot let Selena De La Rosa roam free.”

The scouts scrambled to their feet, wounded pride driving them forward. Levi unsheathed his swords, his expression as unyielding as steel. “Follow my lead,” he ordered. “Stay sharp. She’s not just fast—she’s clever. And if you think she’s not watching us right now, you’re idiots.”

The forest was dense and alive with the sounds of the night. The soft rustle of leaves, the distant chirping of insects, and the occasional hoot of an owl filled the air. Levi moved silently at the head of the group, his senses on high alert. His gray eyes scanned every shadow, his ears tuned to every rustle of branches or crunch of leaves. The rest of the squad followed closely behind, their movements cautious and deliberate.

“She couldn’t have gotten far,” Armin whispered, his voice barely audible.

“She doesn’t need to go far,” Levi muttered in response. “She’s not running. She’s watching.”

Jean shivered despite himself. “That’s comforting.”

Eren gritted his teeth, his fists clenching. “How can someone like her even exist? She’s not like the Titans. She’s… something else.”

“She’s a killer,” Mikasa said quietly, her tone laced with both admiration and frustration. “And she’s good at it.”

Levi’s mind raced as he pieced together everything he’d learned about Selena. The Black Cat. The number one assassin in Marley’s secret program. Her movements were catlike—fluid, precise, unpredictable. Even her personality reflected her codename. Where would a cat go in a situation like this? Where would she feel safest?

High ground.

Levi’s gaze instinctively flicked upward, scanning the trees. His sharp eyes caught a glimmer of something—a flash of green under the faint moonlight. Then he saw them: her poison-green eyes staring back at him from the shadows of the branches, her lips curled into a predatory smile.

“There,” Levi said, barely above a whisper. He unsheathed his blades in a single, fluid motion.

Before anyone could react, Selena swooped down from the branches like a shadow, her swords gleaming as they clashed with Levi’s in a resounding clang. The collision of metal echoed through the forest, startling a flock of birds that burst from the canopy with panicked cries.

All hell broke loose.

The forest came alive with the sound of blades meeting in a deadly dance. Levi and Selena moved with such speed and precision that the other scouts could barely track them. Selena’s agility and flexibility were unmatched, her movements unpredictable as she twisted and spun with almost inhuman grace. Levi was fast—faster than anyone—but Selena’s fighting style was unlike anything he had encountered before.

Selena grinned the entire time, her poison-green eyes gleaming with exhilaration. “So this is Humanity’s Strongest Soldier?” she purred, her voice teasing. “I must say, Capitán, you live up to your reputation.”

“Shut up,” Levi snapped, his voice cold and focused. He parried one of her strikes, his movements sharp and deliberate.

Selena’s smile widened as she ducked under his blade and countered with a swift kick, forcing him to step back. “Oh, don’t be so serious,” she said, her tone playful. “I’m just having fun.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed, his grip tightening on his swords. Fun? She was treating this like a game. The thought only fueled his determination to end it quickly.

The scouts watched in stunned silence as Levi and Selena blurred through the forest, their movements too fast to follow. Mikasa’s knuckles turned white as she gripped her blades, her frustration evident. “I’ve never seen anyone fight like this,” she muttered.

“She’s… she’s incredible,” Armin said, his voice filled with both awe and fear.

“Yeah, and she’s winning,” Jean added, his face pale.

But Levi wasn’t outmatched. He was analyzing her movements, searching for a weakness. And then he found it.

Selena was fast and agile, but she lacked physical strength. Her strikes, while precise, didn’t carry the same force as his. Levi pressed the advantage, catching one of her blades with his and twisting it out of her hand. The sword clattered to the ground, but Selena didn’t miss a beat. She twisted her body in an almost inhumanly flexible motion, her leg snapping up to kick Levi’s blade clean out of his hand.

And in that same motion, she sliced the cord connecting the blade to his ODM gear and stole it, leaving him with only one sword. Selena, now armed with two blades, smirked seductively. “What’s wrong, Capitán? Losing your edge?”

Levi’s jaw tightened, and he lunged at her, catching her wrists in his hands. For a moment, he thought he had her pinned. But Selena leaned forward suddenly, her lips capturing his in a brief, shocking kiss.

Levi’s eyes widened in surprise, the unexpected move throwing him off balance just enough for Selena to wrench her wrists free. She followed with a swift kick to his chest, sending him staggering back.

“Damn it,” Levi hissed, regaining his footing just as Selena prepared for her next move.

Selena smirked, her body crouching low as she prepared to unleash her signature technique. “Let’s see if you can handle this, Capitán,” she purred. “My 100 Cuts of Pain.”

She sprang forward, her blades a blur as she executed the 100 Cuts of Pain. Levi’s uniform was ripped to shreds in seconds, shallow cuts appearing across his arms and chest. But he survived. Somehow, he managed to block or deflect enough strikes to avoid a fatal blow.

Selena’s grin widened in genuine admiration. “Impressive,” she said, her voice tinged with excitement. “No one’s survived that before.”

Levi didn’t respond. Blood dripped from his shallow cuts, but his focus remained unbroken. He charged again, his blade flashing in the moonlight as he brought it down on her. But Selena was ready. She leapt onto the flat side of the blade, using it as a springboard to propel herself back into the trees.

From the high branches, Selena pointed one of her swords defiantly at Levi, her eyes gleaming with triumph. “I am the Legendary Black Cat,” she declared, her voice echoing through the forest. “The Greatest Assassin in the World! Don’t you fools ever forget it!”

With a quick slash, she cut down a branch, sending it crashing to the ground and disorienting the Scouts below. Her mocking laughter rang out as she disappeared into the darkness of the forest, leaving Levi and his squad behind.

The hunt was far from over, but the Black Cat had landed on her feet once again.

~

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[losers-clvb]

slow burn // one

pairing: lucas samos x nymph!female!reader

summary of chapter: y/n osanos found about her engagement through the red servants' gossip. after months of trying to convince her uncle, lord osanos, to call it off, it's revealed that they have to move the wedding up.

content of chapter: anger, irritation, arguing, the older adults are like the worst people ever, use of y/n, arranged marriage, like one swear word, reader is looked down upon, reader is mean to lucas

word count: 1.9k

Y/N was to marry the Samos boy. There was nothing anyone, including Y/N herself, could do to stop it from happening. She had been trying for months since the news broke to her, news she only found out when she had overheard Red servants while passing by the kitchens late one night. When she had pressed them to find out how they had figured this news out, they were hesitant to tell her, never having seen the young woman so angry before. She wasn’t known for speaking harshly to the help despite most of the other Silver’s doing so. When they finally broke and spilled that it had come straight from the mouth of her uncle, Lord of the House Osanos, she had been speechless. She knew she had to stop it from happening.

“House Samos is full of brutes and maniacs,” she had tried to reason. This only made her parents and uncle angry, all of them becoming even angrier when Volo and his own family had walked in only seconds later, obviously having overheard her comment. He had sneered at her before walking past her, nearly knocking her down in his movements. Ptolemus and Evangeline, his children, seemed not to care too much about her thoughts. The eldest of Volo’s children had only smirked over to her, eyes shining like a cat chasing its prey, while Evangeline looked rather bored. It was Lucas, their cousin and the man she was supposed to marry, who seemed to be the odd one out, looking equally as annoyed as the nymph girl.

Y/N ignored them all and turned to leave the room, knowing whatever they were to speak about she had no say in anyways. It was when she reached for the door, hand resting on the doorknob to pull it open, when she nearly had a heart attack.

“The wedding has to be moved up.” Volo announced to the room. This was unexpected. Everything had been planned to happen within a set number of days. There would be a welcome party for guests two days before, a ladies’ tea and gentlemen’s social hour the day before, then the beautiful wedding. Lucas was to go with the royal family back to Archeon and his wife was to follow. Y/N was supposed to have at least a few more weeks to get used to the idea that she would have to spend the rest of her life tied to someone she didn’t even know.

“What?” She turned to the rest of the room. It didn’t look like Lucas was surprised by this, something that made her scowl. He obviously was given more information and say about his life than she was. He was slightly older than her, and it helped that he was a male in one of the High Houses. Everyone, sometimes including the younger Silvers, looked down on her or at the very least underestimated her. She wasn’t the best in training, having struggled to control her ability until an older age than most. She had excelled in Protocol, but the only person who was proud of that was Lady Blonos herself.

Volo, as usual, ignored Y/N. “It seems the King would prefer to keep the months following Queen’s Trial to be about the Prince and his betrothed. A wedding between two of the High Houses would be… ‘distracting’.” He finished his sentence with a look on his face that said he agreed. He probably did, seeing how everyone believed that his daughter would be the next queen of Norta. Lord Osanos huffed, seeing this change in plans as an inconvenience to his day.

“Fine.” He replied flatly, looking at his brother and sister-in-law. They looked slightly annoyed with the change in plans but knew no one could go above the King. They nodded, looked at each other, and her father spoke.

“Next week.”

----------

It was late. Y/N knew that. It had to be at least 1 AM, and everyone was asleep. Everyone except her and a few Red servants. She should be sleeping herself, but her mind was racing. She couldn’t help but think that this marriage was going to be the worst thing that could ever happen to her. Tossing and turning, somehow never finding a comfortable spot or position to sleep in, she was so frustrated that she could cry. But it was when she thought about running away for the fifth time that night that she decided some warm milk may help her sleep. She threw on her robe, tying it tight in an attempt to help soothe her in case she might run into someone on her way to the kitchens. Mindlessly walking through the halls, she kept her steps light and quiet. She passed guards, some she recognized and some she didn’t. Regardless of that, she nodded and smiled kindly to them all, even when most didn’t even acknowledge her.

Rounding a corner near one of the dining rooms, she looked up from her feet. It was a good thing she had, locking her eyes on a certain blonde guard who she was determined to stay away from until their wedding. Y/N stopped in her tracks, deciding she would take the longer route to the kitchens if it meant not having to walk past him. She turned quickly wanting to get out of that situation as quickly as she could. She would have gotten away too, if it hadn’t been for the table that was directly behind her. She ran right into it, her hip hitting the edge, both making the table move about an inch and what was sure to be a giant bruise right on her side. Her cheeks heated in embarrassment, knowing at least five guards had seen it happen.

“Y/N?” When she heard her name come from his mouth, she cringed. Facing him, she noticed his hand on the hilt of his dagger. She scoffed, narrowing her eyes. She didn't say a word to him yet when she started to walk away from the hall, she heard his footsteps following her. She sighed, walking faster. Of course, he caught up to her, his legs being longer and faster than hers. They fell in step together, no one saying a word for a few moments.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Lucas asked her with a soft voice. She knew he was trying to be kind to her, knew he was trying his best not to piss her off, but the question just made her angrier about their arrangement. She didn’t know why. He hadn’t directly done anything to her. Maybe it was just the circumstances, but the only thing she felt towards him was resentment.

“I can’t.” She answered quickly, voice just as quiet as her steps. Lucas waited for her to elaborate, but when Y/N hadn’t spoken again, he knew she wanted the subject dropped. Unfortunately, he didn’t.

“Why?” This time, Y/N glared at him. She crossed her arms over her stomach, manicured nails catching Lucas’ attention. He smiled slightly at the light peach color.

“You know why.” She bit back, balling her hands into fists. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes from the frustration. The last thing she wanted was for Lucas to see her cry so she angled her head away from him. Lucas’ heart broke at her answer. While he wasn’t necessarily thrilled with the whole situation, it wasn’t the worst thing, was it? Was the idea of marrying him really that horrible? He didn’t understand what he had done to make the sweetest girl had known hate him so much.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized, not just for the marriage, but for his family, for her family, for anything he had done to anger her. Instead of calming her, it did the opposite. Her eyes flared with irritation and she whipped her head to him. The tears had since fallen, any evidence of them having been wiped away by Y/N. Lucas leaned away when he saw the look on her face.

“For what? For having to marry me? For letting your family treat me the way they do? Or is it for the fact that you can’t even hear me crashing into a table without reaching for your weapons?” Y/N burst out, voice louder than before. She saw the doors to the kitchen just ahead, thankful that their time together would soon be over. Just as she went to reach for the door, Lucas’ hand fell onto her shoulder. They locked eyes, Y/N seeing that the softness in his eyes had been replaced by a burning fire of annoyance.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re mad about that?” He was angry, only a bit. He couldn’t believe that the little moment in the hallway would really have stuck with her that much.

“Yeah, I am! You can’t even try to solve a problem without resorting to violence!” Her voice was getting louder and by that point a few Red servants had opened the kitchen doors a crack to see who was making such noise at that hour.

“It’s my job, Y/N. I have to protect the royal family, the kingdom of Norta! The Scarlet Guard is running around and I wasn’t sure if they had broken in.” He seethed back.

“Spare me the bullshit, Lucas.” She scoffed out. “You’re just like the rest of them. You’d rather kill first, ask questions later, if it makes your life easier.” Y/N pulled away from him, ignoring the way her arm felt colder without his touch. Lucas didn’t move. He couldn’t believe what she had said. He was kind, was he not? He still couldn’t figure out why she was acting so cold towards him, why she could be loving towards everyone else but couldn’t even find a way to act civil with him. After a moment of contemplation, he entered the kitchens.

Red servants milled about, preparing vegetables and meats to be cooked in the morning. They ducked their heads when he passed, acknowledging his rank as a Silver guard. He spotted Y/N in the corner, chatting with an older Red as she waited for milk to warm. She was smiling, talking kindly with the woman. After pouring the liquid into a cup, she bid the woman goodnight before exiting out a different set of doors. Lucas followed her, keeping himself a few steps behind in an attempt to keep her calm. It didn’t work.

“Don’t follow me.” She spoke over her shoulder, continuing to walk. As the walked, Lucas looked to the other guards in the halls. They raised their eyebrows to him, eyes full of amusement. They knew the two were betrothed to one another. They also knew that, for whatever reason, Y/N couldn’t stand the Samos male.

“I’m just making sure you make it back to your room safely, as I would for anyone else.” He told her.

“I’m not completely helpless. I can protect myself.”

“You’re not helpless.” Lucas echoed back. Y/N didn’t speak again after that, not knowing what to say to that.  It sounded as if he thought she was more than a little Nymph girl who had once cried when Instructor Arven told her she was weak.

They reached her door together, Lucas having caught up with her somewhere along the way. She stepped inside, eyes flitting to the ground so she didn’t have to look at him. As she closed the door, she heard one last thing from him.

“See you next week."

[elliotwriteswords]

the orchid aroma (nanowrimo 2023 project)

title: the orchid aroma

genre: crime

themes: found family; self discovery; acceptance; trust; lgbt & polyam relationships

synopsis:

Augustus Clove is a world-renowned thief. He is the best of the best; he's stolen countless things across the globe, other thieves look up to him, and no one has ever been able to catch him. Only one person has come close, and that's insurance investigator Grant Albright, who has been chasing him for several years. Unexpected circumstances cause their game of cat-and-mouse to end when they have to put their differences aside and work together to steal a famous necklace (with the help of Grant's wife Celia and Augustus' criminal friends). They will need to learn how to trust one another and navigate through confusing feelings in order to pull off this heist.

main characters:

augustus clove is a world-renowned thief, grifter, & mastermind. he is the most charming person you will ever meet (& the most handsome), which he constantly uses to his advantage. he enjoys the finer things in life & likes to live expensively, but he also knows how to stay simple when necessary. it may seem like he has a lot of friends but colleagues might be a better descriptor; as a criminal, most of the people in his life can never stay for long so he is very loyal to those he allows to get close to him, scarce as they might be

grant albright is the insurance investigator who has been chasing augustus for the past few years & is celia's husband. he is the only person who has ever been a match for augustus & he knows him better than anyone. he is a little chaotic, a little intense, & a little repressed, but celia & augustus help to bring out the best in him. also he really loves his wife

celia albright is grant's wife who gets thrown into this world entirely by accident but honestly she isn't mad about it, as she finds she's very well-suited for this kind of life (even more than grant, much to his dismay). she's basically up for anything & enjoys trying new things, even when it's illegal

bennett m. acer, or ace to anyone who knows (of) them, is one of the best hackers there is. they are often underestimated because of how young they are but they are extremely skilled & fast-thinking. also they definitely have adhd

darcy wheeler is a fence who augustus frequently works with. she's a whole lot of fun, is very friendly, & might as well be made of sunshine because she can & will brighten your day

juliet de vere is a thief & has known augustus the longest. she doesn't talk about her past much but she is proud of who she is today

micah hart is a getaway driver who is kinda new to the whole 'being a serious professional criminal' thing but he is trying his very best!! also an adhd king

robin blakely is a forger & is a little intimidating before you get to know him but he's actually a big softie. it's surprisingly easy to worm your way into his heart, which is probably why he's so closed off at first

piper hayes is a thief who mostly only does what's best for her, regardless of whether it'll hurt others. working with a team & genuinely caring about them is an adjustment for her but she learns how to put them first

ellery ball is a thief who normally sticks to himself, but he owes augustus so he agrees to be a part of his team. he isn't too thrilled to be working with so many others, but especially with piper after she had double-crossed him several years ago. it takes some time, but he eventually grows to trust the team (yes, including piper)

[fueledbyapplepi]

Ok so like, here me out, but what if there's a streetwise MC that takes out Ran, Rin, and Mikey. And they just, leave their number on their palms or arms with a cute little "call me when you wake up cutie" Just the audacity and confidence is what I long for as a former street kid myself. I might come out a fight with a fucked up face and missing a few acrylic nails, but I still had my charm. 😤👌

Boss Bitch | Mikey, Ran, and Rindou

- The boys getting their ass beat and flirted with a street smart reader.

warnings: cussing, mentions of minor violence

genre: fluff, crack (?) tbh I'm not really sure LOL

A/N: Thank you for the request, anon! We all want a badass and confident Y/N here so I hope that I was able to somehow portray them properly. I was jamming to Beyonce and Doja Cat so that I could feel writing this LMAO 😆

Mikey (Manjiro Sano)

In your defense, you're not a bitch. It's just that you don't take shit from anyone and you're smart enough to not fuck with anyone.

And what's so wrong with that?

Violence and gang life has always been infamous in Tokyo. At a young age, you grew up knowing every corner and business in the streets. This also exposed you to the fighting scene.

It's safe to say that you're pretty strong and street smart. You've got decent combat skills enough to protect yourself and beat up anyone who dares to fuck around with you, and wits to know strategies when in the neighborhood.

This caused your name to be well-known around.

You didn't really associate with any gang since you're not interested in it. You'd rather be alone. However, one certain blondie kept pestering you to join this so-called "Tokyo Manji Gang".

"C'mon Y/N. You can be a really good asset with us." Mikey trailed behind you as he peeks over your shoulder. "What do you say?"

"I said no." You continue to walk with hands in your pockets as you try not to mess up your newly done nails. "Leave me alone."

"We plan to make a new era for delinquents, you know." He stated proudly as if it's the smartest thing he has ever thought.

The sentence caught your interest enough to make you stop. Mikey slightly bumping into your back.

That's something that you've never heard before. Not in Tokyo, at least. And honestly, it's a breath of fresh air to hear some sense from a gang.

"Fight me and I'll consider it." You turned around and faced Mikey. His features glimmered as the sunlight hit him.

You barely looked at him before. Was he always this cute?

"Heh. I don't want to fight you Y/N-san. You're beautiful and I don't want to damage your face." Mikey smiled at you as he attempted to calm you down and flirt with you at the same time.

"Don't you ever underestimate me, Sano." Denying your urge to punch him and keep your nails fresh, you swiftly twisted your hips and raised your legs. Throwing your hips forward, you kick Mikey as you aim for his gut.

Although he's known as the "invincible Mikey" he was caught off guard with your kick causing him to land on his back on the ground.

He's never seen someone on the same level as him. You were fast and strong.

And now he wants you more. Maybe not even just for Toman.

Trying to get up. Mikey realized that he took damage from your kick. His vision was quite blurry and his head spinning.

"Y/N-san…" Mikey whispered as he tries to get up.

"Oh, don't get up now. That was a hell of a kick right?" you smiled proudly as you crouched down at him.

"Look, Mikey." you took a pen from your purse as you wrote something in his hand.

"I'm quite interested in this era of delinquents you're talking about...and maybe on you." You stood up and winked at him. Leaving Mikey all alone.

Although his head was still spinning, Mikey looked at his palm. A number is written with a note saying "call me when you're ready to beat me."

Mikey smiled as he just got his ass kicked.

Oh, he's definitely going to call you. But not just for recruiting purposes, that's for sure.

Ran Haitani

You never really had a good reputation. You're known as someone harsh and straightforward. Always lashing onto others who get in your way.

But it's not your fault that you grew up in that same environment. You grew up in one of the messiest neighborhoods in Shinjuku. Where fights and crimes have always been rampant.

And what better way to be on top and feared by others? Build a reputation.

Although you don't participate in fights that much, you're strong. And, it's given that you're also streetwise. This means that you know who handles the different districts in Tokyo.

And now, you're currently in Roppongi. The Haitani Brothers' turf.

As much as possible, you hope to not run into them.

It's not like you're scared though. It's just that you can't be bothered dealing with any of them when you're here to wind.

You lean back on your bike as you watch the crowd. The nightlife of Roppongi causes the people to increase more.

As you further stare at the people passing you by, a set of familiar braids approach your line of vision.

Just what are the fucking odds?

"Heh, so the infamous Y/N came here to look at me?" The elder Haitani craned down his neck in an attempt to talk to you despite his tall figure.

"Huh? I don't even know what you're talking about." You raise an eyebrow to Ran.

"Well, that's a lame excuse. You're looking at me for a good 5 minutes." Ran smirked at you. "Pretty hot am I?"

You scoffed, trying to hide your admiration. You're aware that the Haitanis are an attractive pair of siblings. But it's your first time seeing Ran in person and you can't help but agree with him.

However, you're not going to give him what he wants.

Yet.

"I have to go, Ran." You smiled at him. "Go find someone else to feed your ego."

Ran was quite taken aback by your attitude. He was informed that you were feisty. But it's his first time witnessing it. And he likes it.

"Look, I know you're not from here. So come with me and I'll tour you around instead." He smiled at you.

You're not going to say no to him, right? Not to the Ran Haitani.

"Earn it." You challenged him as you stretched your arms. "Fight me."

Ran broke into a grin. Now that's what he's talking about. "Sure. But I'll go easy for you."

"Tch. Sure you don't need Rindou?" You teased as you positioned your knuckles in front of you.

"He's not here." Ran rolled his eyes as he aimed his baton at you. No, he's not really going to hit you. But he'll give you a little bit of what you want.

But Ran was wrong to underestimate you. You jumped over his baton and held onto the object as you swung over the air to get behind him.

"See, never underestimate the Y/N." you whispered in his ear as you choked him in his neck, along with kneeing him at his back.

Ran fell on his back as he struggled to get a sight of you.

"I got you." You crouched down on him as you looked at his pretty face.

That was fucking hot, was Ran's last thought before passing out.

"Poor you. You guys should never underestimate me." You notice that people around you are giving you two horrified looks.

That was your signal to leave. However, you can never pass out for a Roppongi tour next time by the Ran Haitani.

So you left a note in his hands. "Pardon me for the unfairness. Tour me around?" Along with your number in it.

And when he wakes up, Ran would be sure to give you the best tour that you'll never forget.

Rindou Haitani

"You're fucking dumb to even fuck with me." You glared at the two men who were now beaten up in an alley.

Earlier today, these two men attempted to snatch your wallet. Which is quite unlucky for them.

When it comes to the streets, you're smarter than most people think you are. Growing up, you were taught how to deal with and be wary of people, especially those in gangs. You were also trained with the basic combat skills which are handy at times like this.

Just sitting pretty ain't enough these days.

"So what's this ruckus about?" a voice echoed through the alley.

As you looked behind your back, you saw an attractive man with glasses accentuating his features. So this is Rindou Haitani.

Pretty. You thought

Shaking away your thoughts, you raised a brow at him. "Your subordinates?" you asked.

"Yeah." Rindou stared at you. Wondering how someone could do this to his people. Impossible.

"They tried to snatch off my wallet." You explained. "Tell those fucking trash to not fuck with me."

Now Rindou is interested. Usually, when someone recognizes him or even just hears his voice, they'll be quaking at their boots. But here you are, talking so casually with him.

"Your name?" Rindou tipped his eyeglasses at his nose as he stared at you.

"Y/N." You said as you sighed and tried to get off past him.

"And you think that I believe that you did this to them?" Rindou stopped you by your shoulder. His eyes were firing of interest as he looked at you. "Show me."

"Look I don't want to fight with you, pretty boy." You sighed as you once again attempted to walk away.

Rindou tried his best to not be distracted by what you just called him, but he can't help but have a faint blush on his cheeks. "Guess we're scared now?"

You can't help but be triggered by those words.

Not only did you waste your time beating up those assholes. Now, you have to beat up Rindou Haitani.

"Don't tell me I didn't warn you." You run fast to him as you punch his side, earning a gasp from Rindou.

Rindou was surprised by your actions. Nevertheless, he attempted to block your punches by throwing off his arms in front. Only causing him to fail as you suddenly swung your hips and kicked him in his legs. Following another punch in his side.

Rindou fell to the ground. His eyes were wide and his body was still in shock from what happened.

Did he just get beaten by you?

Rindou could see you hovering about him as you were saying something. However, everything was inaudible and unclear to him.

He'll hear no end of this to Ran. But, it was an honor to get his ass whooped by you.

"I told you. I don't want to hurt you." You looked down at Rindou. Feeling quite guilty for beating him up too much.

You quickly got a piece of paper from one of your receipts earlier and left a note in his hand.

"Sorry for beating you up, pretty boy. Let me make it up to you?" While your number was written on the lower right corner.

And the first thing that Rindou did when he woke up was calling you.

Never too late for some treat, right?

[redrosesartcabin]

So yeah, I wrote the thing based on an anon message for @itsme-star

I made it a Barley x (female) reader (based on my self insert character) fanfic ‘cause I had to be a little self indulgent lmao

I hope you enjoy it! It turned out longer than I had planned xD

——————————————————

The double-decker couch

Barley x (female) reader fanfiction

———

Around three months ago:

Y/n’s boyfriend, Barley Lightfoot, had knocked on her window… with small stones… in the middle of the night:

At first her ear just twitched and the noise had mashed with the dream she was having, but the more the noise repeated, the more her consciousness felt pulled into the physical realm again, and with a groan, she had to face the reality that the noise would not stop until she got up (she already had a suspicion as to who was causing the noise).

With a heavy sigh, y/n forced herself from under her comfortable blanket, before ripping the window open.

‘Of course it’s him’, she thought, looking down at Barley as he waved his hands up at her, somehow wide awake.

‘How much energy can a person have?’, she asked herself, before she motioned with her hands, that she’d come outside.

“What in the world are you doing here?”, she asked as she arrived, whisper-yelling at him.

“Well you know how it is my lady: sometimes one just drives around at night after finishing a campaign of quests of yore and sees the poster of a double-decker bus and then one might think: ‘Wouldn’t it be cool if one could have a couch after that structure?’ After having had thought about a new couch for a while and ‘wouldn’t it be cool, if one might be able to build that with their girlfriend?’”

“I can’t say I relate, though I am impressed by one having the idea”, she said, deliberately accentuating the word ‘one’, as she couldn’t now but smile at her beautiful dork, “And I have to say I love the idea, though I still have to decide whether it was worth waking me up at three a.m… but for now I’ll just say yes, because I love you too much to be mad at you for this”

“I know: I’m irresistible”, he winked, pulling her closer to him and engaging her in a sickeningly romantic kiss.

“As nice as this is, I would still like to catch up on some sleep. We’ll write later and you tell when we should start building”

“I actually thought… you know… that maybe now-”

“Don’t push it”

“Right”

Now:

It hadn’t been easy. First they had to scavenge several junkyards for old couches (because let’s be real: They were both poor college students and buying material or new couches just was too expensive), who weren’t completely busted. Then they had to figure out how to build the thing.

After studying art for a while, where y/n had to do a bunch of installation projects, she had gotten significantly better at building things with woods and such, though she still wasn’t an expert. And whilst Barley also got crafty from time to time, he also wasn’t a master.

But somehow, after sweat, and even a couple of tears after y/n once got her hand stuck under one of the couches, they had finished it: The double decker couch.

“This-”, Barley said, pointing his finger at it, “This is beautiful”.

It was a yellow and a green couch, connected through metal poles and stabilized with old wood planks with two ladders placed on top of it and just enough space between the couches, so that one could sit up straight. It sort of looked like a bunk bed, but with couches.

“It is. It really is”, y/n agreed, looking at her bandaged hand, “totally worth busting my hand”

“Totally worth going through every junkyard in the city”, Barley added.

“Totally worth being awake once for 48 hours”, she added as well.

“This should be awarded some kind of price… maybe I’d also just be happy for some money for a wellness weekend ‘cause my back could really need a nice massage”, Barley groaned, touching the small of his back.

“Hard agree”

They stayed standing there for a while, looking at it, before y/n occurred a question that should’ve occurred to her much sooner.

“So-uhm-”, she started, “what do we actually do with it now?”, she asked

“Sit on it of course. You sit below and I above so I can feed you grapes like you’re a roman emperor”, Barley explained matter of factly.

“That sounds lovely darling but that’s not what I mean”

“What seems to be the issue then?”he asked, a little frustrated. What could she possibly have to say now? After so much hard work?

“I mean… where do we put it?”, she asked with a sincere expression which immediately washed away his annoyance, “because it certainly won’t stay in my parents basement”, she stated.

“It’s certainly more worthy than this old, dusty room with your family's junk. And also because this place is crawling with bugs that I will have to remove every time because you’ll just screech and run away until it magically disappears”

“Hey!”, y/n interjected

“It's true!”

“Ok yeah fair enough, though seriously- where? I also can bet’ya we can’t put it anywhere in our homes either. It probably barely fit under the ceiling”

“Yeah no”

A moment of contemplative silence spread across them.

After a while, Barleys thoughts wandered to the night where he had gotten the idea. He thought about his beloved car-

‘OH. MY. GOD. That’s it!’, he thought to himself.

“I got it!”, he then yelled excitedly, his face contorted into one of the most adorable expressions y/n had ever seen anyone wear. No matter what it would be: She couldn’t but say yes to that smile.

Still she asked, “What’ya got?”

“You know how I got my idea from a poster with a double-decker bus?”, he asked her, still smiling like he had won the lottery

“Yes?”

“And you know how I have a van, right?”

“No”, she answered sarcastically, “I know absolutely nothing about your most prized possession of a van that you called Guenivere the second after you sacrificed your first Guenivere when on a quest-”

“Ok I got the gist”, he chuckled, “but ok hear this: Since I have this wonderful van, this wonderful BIG van-”

“Wait a minute: You really want to put the couch in-”, she interrupted as she realized what he was saying, but got immediately interrupted back as he realized she had caught on

“Yes! I absolutely am”

“Dear lord… but ok I have no better idea, let’s do it”

“YES”

“Barley I am telling you, this is NOT working”, y/n huffed as she let her side of the construction gently land on the ground once again.

“Come on, just one more time!”, Barley pleaded.

“You’ve been saying ‘just one more time’ for an hour!”, she argued, “there is no way around: this just doesn’t fit inside the van. You underestimated Guenivere”

“Hey! There is no underestimating Guenivere! It’s not her fault”, he pouted.

“Ok ok ok... Sorry Gueni”, y/n said, giving the car a sincere pat on one of the back doors. She has gotten used to treating the car similar to a pet, “but seriously: We’ve been trying this at every angle, and as cool as Guenivere is, she can’t magically shapeshift”

“Magically shapeshift”, Barely repeated her last words, suddenly deep in thought, before an “ohhhh”, sound escaped him, “wait here my lady, I’ll be back in a sec”

“O...k”, she said, a little confused.

Five minutes later, she saw Ian storm out of his house, his hands clenched around his magic staff, with Barley closely behind him. “WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?”Ian yelled as he came to a hold, which caused his brother to almost crash into him.

“I need you to make Guenivere big enough so that our self made double-decker couch fits into her”, Barely explained, breathing as though he had just run from death.

For a moment nobody said anything to that before Ian and y/n both shouted

“WHAT?”,at the same time.

“So much for an emergency”, Ian also mumbled, a little annoyed at his brother's antics.

“I mean: If she’s too small, then we can just make her bigger, right?”

“Technically yes but I think you didn’t consider a very small, tiny detail”, Ian commented.

“And what would that be?”, Barley asked irritated, not understanding what the issue was.

“You are aware as a supposed magic expert, that I can’t only enlarge the trunk, right? I would have to make the entire car big, and that would lead-”

“-to the entire street being filled with the car”, y/n finished the thought, apologetically laying her hand on Barleys shoulder, “I’m sorry my love. It was a nice thought”

“Dang it”, Barley breathed out, “I was looking forward to make my own uber-van-couch-double-decker-business”

“Hm”, y/n simply hummed. She had known from the beginning it would probably go south, but his enthusiasm had given her hope.

“Sorry Barley”, Ian said quietly, now feeling bad for having been so harsh beforehand , before slowly heading inside again.

Y/n and Barely sat down on the edge of Guenivere’s trunk, tired and disappointed that it all hadn’t turned out like they wanted as they looked at their creation.

Y/n leaned against Barley’s shoulder, lovingly rubbing her cheek against him like a cat (she loved doing that).

After a while Barley decided he had enough of sulking, standing up to go to the front to put on some good old metal (which luckily she enjoyed too).

As he however returned to the trunk, he noticed some ropes laying around.

He had used ropes last time to tie up some of the material he had bought for their project, so they wouldn’t move around- what if though…

“Ok I’ve had enough”, Barley decided, “I WILL have my double-decker-couch-van for more people to ride with me and my buddies and if its the last thing I’m gonna do!”

“Barley, what are you-”, y/n wanted to ask, but as she saw him pick up the ropes from the trunk floor, she understood, “- Are you sure this will work out?”

“Nope”, he answered truthfully, “but I will surely try!”

She was still skeptical, but at the same time she would try anything with him, and if it meant helping him tie a double-decker-couch to the roof of his van.

“If you believe it can be done, I will too”, she smiled, giving him a quick peck on his cheek, “let’s do this!”

It was eight p.m. The sun was almost behind the horizon and the streetlamps threw dodgy looking lights in the middle of the street and kept the corners dark.

But the elven couple, who stood in front of a yellow van with a double-decker couch tied to its roof, couldn't help but see what they had accomplished: Which was accomplishing what, at least the female elf, had thought was impossible… yet again.

“I can’t believe that worked”, Y/n mumbled.

“Told ya”, Barley hushed back.

“Should we drive around? See if anyone is crazy enough to go on a drive?”, she asked.

“You bet we are. And tomorrow… and whenever we can. I’ll be the driver and you the tourist guide.. or maybe some kinda sturdess, after all you’re good lookin’”

“Oh hush”, she giggled, visibly blushing

“And-”, he continued, though not without giving her a good wink after his compliment, “then we’re gonna show the dear people of this town another perspective to life”

“That we can promise”, she laughed, “that we sure can”

[theodora3022]

Playing tricks with the trickster

Summary: Failed escape attempt from yandere Childe. He lets you play your cards, even playing along, just for his own amusement.

Notes: My first genshin piece yay... I had a sweet and terrible dream of me running from Childe in the woods. Also some inspiration was drawn from @cinnamonest‘s this post, one big virtual hug to her! I hope I did Childe justice, what can I say I love manipulative smiling boys. It has become a pattern as I dash from one fandom to another. This is had turned out to be longer then I expected...Ginger boy demands my time and energy too much omg. Mind the warnings, although there is nothing extreme in this.

Fun fact, I was looping to Nintendo game by Alessia Cara when writing this down. I believe it fits the theme of this fic quite well.

Tagging: @akutaguagua a great friend who patiently beta-read this mess of a horror dream and gave me lots of kind praises! 

(Offical art belongs to miHoYo! This is a cover page of this video, if there is any issues, contact me and I will remove it at once)

Warnings: Implied past abduction,dub-con touching, mild degradation, drugging(not on reader), implied non-con/dub-con at the end, this is not healthy love and I do not condone this irl.

It has been nearly a month since the youngest Fatui Harbinger had “taken you in”. After a few tries, you were too horrified by the punishments to continuously fight him. You learned on the first day that Childe’s smiling, the friendly mask would come off towards you. Your behaviour would decide if that is a curse or a “blessing”.

So you had quieted down, struggling to restrain yourself from yelling or screaming, carefully not to provoke his anger. Despite being compliant to his orders, you never truly showed him any affection either. Sure, you would sit on his lap if he asked, but you never initiated anything intimate with him. No matter how much Tartaglia spoiled you with clothes, books, jewelry or other luxuries, he is still the one who holds the commanding end of your shackles. It’s the best not to get used to all of that when your sight is set on the door.

Although he has taken your freedom away, you are not kept in a windowless room. On the contrary, you have too many outings now. Wherever he goes, you have to be present in a 2m radius, including meetings. Being a Harbinger is no easy job, so he prefers not having to worry about your safetly during buisness hours. The best way to do that is never let you out of his sight.

“Love, no one should witness our little problems. Well, no one alive that is.” Of course you wouldn’t want to put innocent people's lives at stake. You never dared to act out when you two are in public, and no one would bat an eye if a Fatui had taken a lover. 

You had taken an emotionless approach towards him. If Childe wants a kiss on the cheek, you’ll give him a quick light peck. If he wants breakfast, you’ll go make some pancakes with the topping he likes. Luckily, Childe had not done anything too extreme yet. If cuddling to sleep does not count as extreme that is. The only time you slipped up is when he suddenly hugs you from behind when you’re cooking.  

You thought maybe, just maybe, by being as boring and dull as you could, this bastard might just get tired of you and let you go. Childe only loves the fun of it right? Or maybe it could lower his guard.

Oh, how naive you are. You should have known better than to underestimate a Fatui harbinger. See, this is exactly why he needs to keep you around. Yes, unfortunately for you, Childe loves you, so very much. Speaking to him with a monotone voice isn’t going to alter that fact.

You have been devoid of emotions as of late. While Childe does appreciate fewer screams for the sake of his eardrums, this schemer can sense you are up to something. Perhaps this is the peace before your “storm”(he thought of it more like a drizzle)

You want to play a game? Okay, why not? Childe cannot wait to see what tricks you got on those sleeves. Are you ever getting away? Does an amateur ever win when they play a game with a professional trickster? Never.

Still, nothing bites like a cornered rat. You are no airhead, and he is fully aware of that. Just not as cunning and observent as him, that’s all.

The way you just kept your emotions sealed up is impressive, even to someone like him. Even when he got hansy, you did not flinch and just stared at the corner. Childe can only catch faint glimpses of anger when you thought he wasn’t looking.

Hm, when are you pulling your trigger? Tonight, or tomorrow night? Not that Childe is impatient, anything from you is worth waiting. But he would need to dismiss his patrolling underlings in the nearby woods beforehand. No extras would be allowed to disturb this game.

There is no chance during the day, a somewhat mutual understanding for you two. Night time in comparison, is a different story. 

Anyone’s sleeping hours is their most vulnerable time of the day, Childe is no exception. You do not plan to harm him, not that you don’t want to. But you are willing to swallow the pent up frustration towards him if you would never see his face again after this. Maybe beating up some slimes would help with the release?

You somehow managed to slip a mixture of herbs into his tea. Since he would buy cooking ingredients for you from time to time, you had requested a bunch of herbs along with the ingredients of a sleep inducing medicine you remembered. Although Childe does all he can to keep you near him, there are inevitable hours that he needs to be somewhere without you. He cannot jeopardize your safety with troublesome monsters. On a side note, he loves showing you off to anyone, his colleagues, acquaintances, business partners, anyone he does not deem a threat.

Enough time for you to make those herbs into powder and cover it up with a few spoons of milk. Tea with milk has become quite popular in Liyue as of late. Childe has grown to love them, so you have learned how to mix it up. He always let you handle his food and drinks, saying that he “trusts you”. What you do not know is this is one of the openings he exposed on purpose. It’s not like you can aquire anything deadly under his suffocating supervision.

Your plan will work, or so you think. Childe will not wake up when you wiggle out of his grasp, because dreamland will keep him occupied. All you need is a glider and a usable sword from Liyue and you’ll get your life back. Bottling up extreme emotions has certainly taken a toll on your mind, but it will be worth it if that is the prerequisite of being free.

Something about this being so easy sits ill with you. Have you really been with the youngest Fatui Harbinger this whole time? But that was brushed off your shoulders by the sheer excitement of regaining your long lost freedom. You know Liyue is in walking distance, all you need to do is cross these woods and-

The moment you dive into the forest, you think you heard an amused chuckle. 

That smooth voice terrifies you to no end, the same voice you took orders from for the past month.

Oh, how Childe loves seeing you happy. It’s priceless, both literally and figuratively. No matter how many things he buys you, you had not shown him even one small smile. Enjoy your sweet freedom, because it ain’t going to last. You certainly will know your place after this right? If not you are just dumber then he give you credit for.

That glow of relief in your eyes is worth every last bit of this intense dizzying feeling to Childe. To make sure your plan go through, he had drunk the tea without hesitation, quick enough to catch the momentarily excitement you expressed. He knows the game is on, therefore he had given the night patrol guards the entire evening off. Forcing himself to stay concious by digging his nails into his palms, Childe followed you into the woods.

Your potion is quite strong. Excellent, you’ll have to give him the recipe for informational purposes later. Especially how you managed to achieve such effects with a few herbs you had. He never took you to be anything less than a smart girl, but this has exceeded his expectations. Where’s the fun in a game without challenges?

How you storm through the forest wearing that cute terrified expression looks so endearing, it’s surely not his fault if he wants to enjoy this sight to be longer right.

So, each time you feel the slightest at ease due to whatever reason, expect Childe to make some sound to send you running like your life depends on it again. The sadistic man is hunting you down playfully, like a cat chasing a stray mouse to the inevitable corner.

You know he is toying with you. There is nothing you can do to make him shut up though.

“Love, you had scratched your leg. Must hurts by the looks of it.”

“Liyue is that way, you know.”

“Are you tired? If you want to jog in the middle of the night, you should have called me to come along!”

How can he say those things nonchalantly while you are trying to escape from him?  Here he is, daunting you with that signature smile he wears so very often. That is when reality slaps you right in the face. No matter how hard you plan, no matter how fast you run, there is no getting rid of him.

When your stamina runs out, a simple pull and push on your left wrist is enough to let you fall onto the ground panting. Even now, you still refuse to beg for mercy. You would take the cold grounds to the warmth of Childe’s embrace anyday. 

“Aw, burnt out already? Pathetic. Looks like we need to work on your stamina more. But this is not the place for exercise.”

“Look at me.” His slender but forceful fingers tilt your head up, making you look into those ocean blue orbs. There is anger present in his eyes, but those emotions are more a mixture of delight and that. His smile had also been replaced by a mocking smirk. “You, trying to leave me? Your sense of humor is...well, let’s just call it unique. Lucky for you, you amused me nonetheless.”

“I know what you’re thinking. How I’m a selfish jerk and you hate me. Why be so ungrateful? You get to live in luxury thanks to me, you know. I am selfish, yes, but look how stupid you are. I know you added something extra in my evening tea, my beloved.”

“Come now, we are going to do some exercises suited for a night like this once we’re back home. It is our one month milestone, after all. You had already given me your gift, it is only fair for you that I do the same.”

Childe is not making a sarcastic remark. The thrill of that chase was the best fun he had in months. And you are going to love his gift too, maybe not right away, but surely sometimes after. 

You have to mentally prepare yourself for the worst as he dragged you back to the prison, hopefully you’ll still be able to walk properly after whatever Childe got in store.

[crashdevlin]

Opposites Don’t Attract (A Witcher Fic)

Author’s Note: This was written while I was fighting Covid19...so I’m pretty proud of that. I'm aware that not everyone likes the Witcher but this was the only thing that would could out of my head that week so...

I took bits of lore from the show, the books, and the games and mixed them all up into a cohesive awesomeness...also, the smut is pretty good, but the banter is where it's at with this one. If you guys like this, I might make it a series...so, let me know how you're feeling on it.

Summary:  Y/n is a witcher from the Cat School (a nomadic school that is one of the few that actually makes female witchers) who keeps running into Geralt of Rivia...to her great pleasure.

Pairing: Geralt x Female Witcher!Reader, mentions of Geralt x Yennefer and Geralt x Triss Merigold

Word count: 3869

Story Warnings: 18+! HERE BE SEX!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of infertility, little bit of angst (it's a Cassie story...what do you expect?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t often you crossed paths with the White Wolf. The Continent was vast and you both had work to do. But it was always a treat when you walked into a tavern and smelled the man.

"Geralt. What brings you to Kagen?" you asked, taking the stool next to him at the bar.

"A contract."

"Always so succinct, Wolf...and just a bit disrespectful. Isn't my school the one that's supposed to birth disreputable thugs?"

Amber eyes turned on you as you fiddled with your medallion, a silver coin with a cat's head on a silver chain. It hung right between your breasts and never came off.

"Here to kill a monster...or be a monster?" he asked, his voice a deep rumble.

A zing of indignant fury went through you but you stifled it instinctively. "I haven't taken a contract against a human in nearly twenty years. I've learned the error of my ways. I told you as such when we met last. Remember? The bard's impromptu celebration in Lyria." He grunted softly at you and looked away. "You do remember, don't you, Geralt?"

"My memory is fine, Feline."

"Then you remember folding me in on myself and making my body quake?" You set your hand on his thigh and watched his face for a reaction.

He gave no indication he even noticed your fingers over the conditioned leather. "Since when do you call them 'humans'? When last we met, you were still calling them by the slur."

You rolled your eyes. "That was a single slip. Another thing I've seen the error on. I've developed, I've grown. You have to admit that some things are hard to shake, like a word you shouldn't say or a prejudice you were taught as a small child. I wasn't really given a choice on who to sympathize with in the conflict. Cats and Elves, we go together. Call it a commiseration of outcasts."

He let out a long sigh before dropping his hand to yours. "You talk too much, Cat."

"Well, someone has to fill the silence around you. Jaskier doesn't seem to be around right now, so I'll take that mantle." You licked your lips and hummed as his fingertips slowly caressed the back of your hand. "I could help you fulfill your contract. Two witchers are better than one. What are you after?"

He turned his head just enough to catch your eyes. "You want to help me?"

"I want to fuck you, but I feel you're going to be distracted until you've got your coin so I might as well hasten that instance."

"Can I trust you to have my back in battle?"

You pulled your hand away and shook your head. "If I can alter my preconceived notions of humans, you can alter your notions of Felines. Or, in the very least, of me." You caught his eyes and held them without blinking. "I have known you for decades, Geralt. Can you trust me to have your back?"

He held your eyes for a few moments before he picked up his ale. "It's a graveir. Strength is more important than speed."

"Well, then I'll just have to pull its attention and hope it is hungry for witcher." You smiled. "And you can kill it before it eats me."

He smiled just a bit as he set his mug down. "Perhaps I'll let it eat you, kill it while it is sated and happy."

"Aww, but then the great White Wolf would never get to eat his fill of this Feline ever again."

He smirked as you set a coin on the bar and requested an ale of your own. "And what brought you to Kagen, Y/n?"

You smiled at the use of your name. "Tracking a man." His eyebrow went up so you clarified. "Just tracking. He's a historian. There's some question of the authenticity of some of the Aen Seidhe artifacts he's 'found'. He's at the whore house two down so I thought I'd have a drink while he was busy. A lucky stroke to find you."

"If you help me with the graveir, you might lose him."

You took a drink of your ale and turned on the stool. "You think we can't take down a graveir and have a fun night before a middle-aged human historian wakes from his well-deserved nap after a night of lust away from his wife?" You leaned next to his ear and whispered, "Are you underestimating me or yourself?"

"I could never underestimate you." He tipped his head back and finished off his ale and you chugged down your own. It was time to work.

As you moved to follow Geralt out of the tavern, a tall man with a sunburned face stepped in front of you.

"I didn't know they made witchers with tits," the foul-smelling farmer said with a guffaw at the end for good measure.

"Well, you've never seen the Butcher of Blaviken with his shirt off, have you?" you snapped, stepping away from him.

"You're a real one, then? You got the eyes, I see. They do all those mutations on you? Hear witchers are like a bitch in heat but cain't procreate. Now there's a perfect woman, right? Always ready to be filled, but never able to give me any more little brats."

Geralt sneered at the man's words but you just shook your head. "I guarantee no woman wants to be filled by you or your brats. Especially not this woman."

The drunk looked offended for a moment before he scoffed. "You're not a woman. You're a fuckin' mutant. Wouldn't want your-"

A blade was in your hand and held against his throat in a flash. "I'm a fucking mutant and a fucking woman and I want nothing to do with you."

"Apologize," Geralt demanded, quiet and intent.

The drunk looked down at the knife and blinked a few times, then nodded. "Sorry."

Your blade was back in its sheath on your hip before he could take another breath. "Let's go, Geralt."

"Hmm." He pulled open the large wooden door and walked out, you followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"When's the last time you saw the Caravan?" Geralt asked as you headed for the woods.

"You really don't think I've changed, do you?" He gave a noncommittal grunt so you rolled your eyes. "Even after that slime back at the tavern? I didn’t kill him. I didn't even hurt him. I didn't even spout off and call him a...well, if anyone deserves to be slurred, it's a man like that and I held my tongue." You reached out and slapped your hand across his chain mail. "Haven’t seen hide nor hair of Dyn Marv in…"

You rubbed your fingers across your eyes and shook your head. "I abandoned the Caravan the day I met you. The ideals were harder to shirk but I left my school the moment I realized that Gezras wasn't quite the savior they claimed. You had it right. You and the others up at Kaer Morhen, you know how...how a witcher's supposed to act. You were trained in the codes and morals, I wasn't."

"No, you were trained blindfolded on a tightrope across the rooftops of Oxenfurt."

"Let it never be said that Cat School is without our flair." You smiled over at him. "And it was Oxenfurt, the Cintran Capital, and Vengerberg. Nomads and all that."

Geralt looked over at you and smiled. "I can imagine the Cintran guard were very happy to have a bunch of witchers crawling across their roofline."

"Oh none of them ever cared for having a bunch of witchers in their city let alone running training exercises across their roofs. But not a one tried to stop us. You'll recall, there was a time when most feared and respected us more than they hated us."

"I don't recall people ever fearing Cat School," he teased.

"Ah-ha, you're so hilarious, Geralt. My sides are in stitches from all this laughter," you responded dryly.

You walked in relative silence for a few moments, your boots making no sound on the tall grass. "I didn't know meeting Vesemir affected you so much," he said eventually.

"Oh, yes. It was wise old Vesemir that showed me the error of my ways, not the dashing white-haired man who rode into Novigrad after him."

"Dashing. That's a new one."

"I'm absolutely certain it is not a new one, Geralt. Not for any woman who's had the pleasure to make your acquaintance." Your cheeks heated up in a way you imagined his never did. Wolves dulled emotion. So did Bears, and Vipers, and most schools. Most pushed down emotions to make a witcher less susceptible to fear and anger and sadness. Cat School was different. You were reminded of that every time you were around Geralt. "I bet 'dashing' would be one of the first words they'd use to describe you: the Triss Merigolds and Yennefer of Vengerbergs of the world."

He looked over at you as you approached a cemetery filled with recent dead from a bandit attack on the outskirts of Kagen. "Hmm. Is that jealousy I hear?"

"No!" you responded just a little too loud. "What do I have to be jealous of? They're two supernaturally beautiful sorceresses who've been part of your life much longer than I have. Besides, none of us really gets you for more than a night or two, right?"

He grunted softly in agreement, then offered a potion from his belt. You took it and swallowed it down, feeling your already-fast reflexes get a boost. "You're supernaturally beautiful too. It will make you better graveir bait."

You couldn’t focus on the compliment he'd given you as he pointed to a bloated ghoul digging into a fresh grave with short, strong claws. He was gone by the time you looked back but you could sense him moving around the outside of the cemetery.

Normally, this was the point when you'd draw your silver; approaching a ghoul as it ripped a limb from a corpse to make its meal for the night. The sword stayed on your back with your steel, however. You were to take its attention so Geralt could kill it from behind.

It was fairly easy, actually. You and Geralt, working in tandem, had the graveir as dead as his dinner before there was a chance for real trouble. It noticed you, it rushed you, you dodged and dodged and threw a punch or three to its ugly face and then Geralt appeared in your vision and the graveir met the sharp blade of a witcher's silver sword. No muss, very little fuss, and very little blood.

"You did good as bait," Geralt commented as you walked back toward the city. "Maybe I should have you play the snack on hunts more often."

"Oh? A snack for the monsters or a snack for yourself?"

"I'm serious. We work well together."

"It's not the first time we've worked together."

There had been, in fact, two other monsters that you helped Geralt with. A wraith terrorizing a man in Novigrad that you helped him with when you first met each other and a wyvern you encountered on the road. Geralt happened to have the contract on the wyvern and showed up to take it down as you were in the midst of killing it.

He graciously shared a portion of the coin garnered from his contract.

He hummed in acknowledgement. “You should come with me.”

You stopped and turned to look at him. “What?”

“Once you’ve fulfilled your contract on the historian, you should saddle up and travel with me. You said it yourself, ‘two witchers are better than one’.”

You looked up into his eyes and blinked a few times. “You miss Vesemir so much that you would travel with me just to have another witcher at your side?”

“Why don’t we leave it at ‘I enjoy your company’?” he suggested.

You started walking again, heading toward your mare, a Konik named Daisy, and Geralt’s mare, Roach. “Will you be staying in Kagen for a while?”

“I have a room at the inn. I can stay in Kagen until you return.”

“You’re serious about me coming with you? I thought sweet nothings were whispered in the throes of passion, not in the aftermath of battle.”

“You don’t have to come with me, Y/n.”

You shook your head. “I’ll have to think about it, Geralt.” You didn’t want to anger any sorceresses. You climbed up into Daisy’s saddle and grabbed her reins. “For now, let’s go to the inn. A bath and a bed sound amazing,” you said, before riding toward the city.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tub was small but you weren’t large. “How do you fit in this thing?” you asked, dunking yourself under the warm water.

“I’m very good at fitting into tight spaces.” Geralt stepped up behind you and kneeled down, setting his chin on your bare shoulder. “Do you need help getting clean?”

“No. But I’d love a bit of help getting dirty again after I’m done.” He hummed and nodded, turning his head to press his lips to your neck. You hummed happily and turned your head to give a bit more access and he took the invitation, running his hand down your body and under the water. You gasped as his fingers brushed your curls. “I’m not clean yet, Geralt.”

“Clean enough.”

You pressed closer to him, arching your hips and reaching back to grab the back of his head, pulling him further down. “More,” you whispered. He chuckled, slipping a finger down to tease your entrance. “Fuck, don’t tease.”

“Why not?” He nipped at your jawline and gave a low hum. “You know...the first time I heard your voice, I knew I’d have to hear you moan.” You gasped as his finger slipped into you down to the knuckle, your fingers digging into his scalp as the heel of his palm pressed into your clit. “I knew I’d have to feel you cum on my cock when I smelled you in the heat of battle.”

You moaned at the thought of Geralt, barely knowing your name, deciding that he’d have to have you just based on scent. It was something so animalistic, so inhuman...so uniquely witcher.

You twisted in the water and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a fierce kiss. You didn’t wait for an invitation into the cavern of his mouth, tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth as he gathered your body in his arms and carried you to the lumpy bed across the room. You pushed at his clothes without breaking the kiss, desperate to taste and feel him. Your fingers skimmed across the lines of his back muscles as you pulled his shirt off. His fingertips dug into your hips and moved to put bruising pressure on your ass as you started untying his trousers.

The man was a specimen. The mages at Kaer Morhen made the best of him. You didn’t have time to examine the body and the cock that were so prominent in your wettest dreams because he was obviously just as desperate for you. He got his trousers down and reached between your bodies, taking his length in hand and smearing the head of it in the wetness seeping out of you. You were just about to start begging when he slipped his cock into your cunt.

You lifted your hips to get more of him inside of you. You needed him stretching you and stuffing you. You needed him pushing you to the absolute limits. He fit you better than any ever had.

He rocked his hips against yours, his pelvis putting pressure against your clit as his cock barely moved against your walls. You wrapped your legs around him, ankles crossed at the small of his back, urging him deeper. He growled and grabbed your wrists, pulling your hands from his shoulders to pin them to the bed above your head.

No other man could put you in such a position. No other man controlled you like Geralt. You would never think to let it happen. No man, not even another witcher, could play you like such a fine instrument. A beautiful lute.

Part of you wished you didn't heal so efficiently, so quickly. Part of you wanted to wear his marks upon you for days, but his marks, just like the scent of your coupling, faded far too quickly for your liking. It left you with nothing but the memory and that just wasn't enough. Not when the man you were remembering was so...amazing.

You whimpered out a faint request and he heeded it, slamming his hips into yours harder. You struggled against his grip, desperate to get your hands in his hair, wanting to tug on the white locks, but he refused to relinquish control of your wrists. He gave you everything you needed, but not necessarily what you wanted.

Like you wanted to hear his voice, but the only time you really needed to hear it was when he leaned down next to your ear and demanded, “Cum, Cat.” Your toes curled and your head pressed back into the pillow, your hips arching closer to his as that finally cracking pleasure fell over you. Geralt lasted a while longer before he filled you, his cock pulsing against your walls as his breath caught in his chest, fingers tightening around your wrists as he came.

He pressed sweet kisses along your jawline as he pulled his half-hard member from your dripping pussy and his hands released your wrists to slide his fingers up to entwine with yours. You ended up with your legs tangled with his, neither of you seeming to care about the wetness of sweat and cum sticky between both of your thighs. You kept one of your hands clutched in his, but pulled the other away so that you could run your fingers through his hair as you stared at the ceiling.

“Do you give it much thought?” you asked, quietly. He made a questioning noise and popped open one eyelid to look up at you from where his head was on your breast. Your cheeks heated up and you licked your lips. “What they did to us. What the mages made of us. What they took from us.”

“Took?”

“Options. The options they took from us. We were children, Geralt. We were babies. They stole…” You cut your words off with a shake of your head. “I guess I’m the only one who thinks about it...and I can’t really imagine being some normal peasant wife with a litter of children and a world of misery, but I...I guess there’s some sweetness in the simplicity of their lives, you know? And I hate that I was never given that option. I was deprived of simplicity before I was even aware there was a difference between the folk in the Caravan and the rest of the world.”

Geralt was silent, but the way his fingers tightened their grip upon your hand filled you with a sense of calm. “People hate us, Geralt. They think us heartless, emotionless, cold. I learned to fake it, because that’s what people expect from someone with two blades on their back and these lovely eyes, but-”

“Cat School doesn’t dull emotions.”

“No. Not even with training. That’s a learned reaction to the outside world. I miss Dyn Marv fiercely sometimes because it’s...lonely away from people who understand. It’s hard to walk the Continent alone.”

He closed his eye and shifted a bit against you. “Why aren’t you with them, then?”

“Differences of morality.”

He was silent for a few minutes, just the sound of your breathing filling the room. “Opposites attract.”

“What?”

“It’s something the bard says. The idiot heard it from an alchemist once and he likes to believe it applies to relationships too. It’s why he goes after beautiful, cultured, married women. ‘Opposites attract’.” He sat up and looked down into your eyes. “But it’s horseshit. We look for companions that remind us of us. It’s why all of his women are as enamored with him as he is. Opposites don’t attract, Y/n...and that’s why you are someone I can’t say ‘no’ to.”

“Because we’re so alike?” you guessed.

“Yes.”

“Just because I’ve changed though, right?”

“No. You changed because you weren’t truly that woman. You were what the mages made you. What your teachers made you. You changed when you decided to.”

You licked your lips again and sat up a bit on your elbows. “What about your sorceresses?”

He smirked a little. “I don’t have sorceresses, Y/n.”

“Lovers. Ex or current?” you simplified the question.

“Current. Obviously,” he said, sarcastic humor in his voice as he ran his hand down your body.

You rolled your eyes and tried to ignore the way his touch lit your skin aflame with sparks of desire. “Geralt, I’m serious. If Yennefer were to ride into Kagen right now...if she knocked on that door…”

“Yen would just walk in. She’s never been one for other peoples’ privacy.” He leaned his head down when you didn’t express amusement at his jest, pressing his forehead to yours. “I could lie.”

“Not really. You’ve not proven yourself a good liar, Wolf.”

“True. I prefer honesty.” He sighed and looked away, sitting up to lean his back against the wall.

“Would you turn her away? Would you turn away Triss?” You sighed heavily. “I’m not trying to sound...like such a sodding woman, but...Geralt, you asked me to come with you. That seems like-” His pensive face made you question what you were even trying to get at. “You know what? I think it’d be better if I just head back to my job following Professor Lery and-”

“Don’t.” He grabbed your arm as you moved to get off the bed. “I care for Triss and I think I...loved Yennefer. But I...don’t think we’ll be an option again. She’s been upset at me since Triss.”

“Won’t this-”

“Stop questioning everything.” You closed your eyes as he leaned over and kissed you again. “Stay.”

“I have to finish the contract, Geralt. I’ve already been paid a hundred-fifty gold for it.”

“Then come back,” he demanded softly.

You smiled at him and nodded, but your heart was far less resolute than you were pretending. “Of course. Don’t go anywhere.” You rolled off the bed and grabbed your trousers and shirt, dressing hastily before grabbing your swords and potion belt. You kissed him one more time before leaving the room, swiping a loaf of bread off of a table in the tavern on your way out.

You weren’t sure if you were coming back to him. You wanted nothing more, but you weren’t looking forward to the moment one of his sorceresses came to call. “I’ll decide while I finish this job,” you told your horse, patting her lovingly. “Maybe it should just stay you and me, huh, Daisy. Maybe two witchers aren’t better than one.”

[shyrose57]

HI!! I just wanna say you witches au is amazing!! Is there anyway we can know more about Lizzie? And her with Tubbo?

Hello! I'm happy you think so!

Here you go!

Lizzie is the Witch of Death. Her domain is considered largely dark magic, which it is, but also has many applications beyond that. For example, she has a strong connection to creatures that are tied to death, such as black cats, hell hounds, and ravens. She also gains power from being near places of death-graveyards, temples, ect.

Being the Witch of Death makes her a Circle Witch-which is basically a secondary coven for Witches who's aspect and domain is really crucial to the world. Through this, she knows Skeppy and Karl.

Lizzie inherited her Title from her mentor, Mumza. Mumza was the original Witch of Death, but ended up becoming Death herself, so Lizzie, as her apprentice, inherited the Title.

Because neither of them had been expecting it, and her mentor no longer able to guide her as she once did, she struggled with her newfound power. But Lizzie persevered, and became well known for her skill and talent.

Of course, this was all centuries ago.

She was out jumping worlds when she found Tubbo, tucked away in a box in some bushes. Ended up staying with him for about a week or so, waiting for someone to come back, but they never did. So eventually, she left, and she took Tubbo with her.

And that's how Lizzie got a child. Which she proceeded to deny for like, five years, not that anybody ever really believed her.

Both of them have mastered the art of being underestimated. Anyone who doesn't know them very well assumes they look harmless, and then they go cause problems-that's how they roll.

That's also how everyone came to assume Joel was the calm one, which is honestly hilarious.

Taught him how to make potions, and it's one of their favorite bonding activities. They get to experiment with them, and sure, sometimes it quite literally blows up in their faces, but nobody ever said that wasn't the desired result! It is! Just not at this particular moment, with these particular ingredients! Otherwise, yes, if things are blowing up, things are going according to plan.

Did she really give this young, impressionable child several ways to kill a man? Yes, yes she did. And then everyone else gave him a couple more.

[dreamersdreamloud]

High School Lovers

AN: Planning to make a storyline out of this on AO3

Warnings: Mature

Omega Lena Luthor x Alpha Reader

————————————

First Day of School

Danvers Household

The Danvers, the famous kind family with three dashing Alphas. Eliza and Jeremiah are proud of producing three strong women alphas. The oldest (Y/N) Danvers, the most popular jock in their highschool. You're proud to be the captain and quarterback of the Midvale’s football team. The omegas from all grades adore your looks and muscles but they didn’t stand a chance since you were dating the cheerleading captain, Cat Grant.

Cat dumped you during summer break and your inner alpha felt heartbroken. She left you for Maxwell Lord, the snobby rich alpha with little or none manners. You learned to let go during the summer and focused on getting that athlete scholarship during your last year of highschool and just move on with your life. Recently you became more reckless with your alpha actions, getting into fights, not listening to your parents. You were a mess that your sisters had to watch over you, to avoid getting yourself into further trouble.

The second oldest, Alex Danvers is also popular, known for her smarts for science but also the captain of the basketball team. Alex has always looked up to you as a role model. She basically became a tough looking alpha just like her older sister. But under those tough looks, she’s soft as a teddy bear, as her girlfriend, Sam Arias, declares it.

The youngest alpha in the family is Kara Danvers. The well known ball of sunshine and kindness. People often underestimate the blonde. Her alpha side is not something to be messed with. Bigger alphas would bully the youngest Danvers but they would run for the hills if Alex and you teach them a lesson on what happens when you mess with their youngest sister. Kara loves her sisters so much but she also loves her omega girlfriend, Lucy Lane , for always supporting her.

You're happy that your sisters have girlfriends and glad that they picked the best omegas from your shared high school. You don’t have to worry about the omegas being a distraction to your sisters’ studies. Whenever they’re in heat, they know best to stay away from their alphas and sit out. Eliza is thankful to not worry about being a grandma so soon.

“(Y/N)! Wake up! Mom has been calling you for breakfast!” Alex pounds on the door of your bedroom. You groan and growl at the door.

“I’ll be there!” You yelled back. You’re glad that you have your own room. Unfortunately, Alex and Kara have to share a bedroom. Sometimes you would hear them arguing next door on the stupidest things.

“Agh. First day of senior year here we go.” You said to yourself as you push your blankets away.

***

“Sam! Can you drive a little slower?!” Lena yells at her driver. She doesn’t know why she agreed to ride with her best friend to school if her life is endangered.

“Lena. It’s our first day of being juniors. I don’t want to be late!”

“We’re an hour early! You literally just want to see your girlfriend and ride her dick in the locker rooms.” Lena huffs.

The omega is happy that her best friend is dating a popular yet caring alpha but it can be annoying to watch them tongue each other’s throats in public. Lena wishes she had an alpha to look forward to but ever since she dumped Jack, she hasn’t been able to find another great alpha.

The reason the raven haired dump the alpha is that he would often ask her to have sex. Lena felt uncomfortable and she was only 15 years old at the time and he was a senior. He was the legal age of having sexual intercourse. Lena didn’t like being pressure into having sex so she broke things off and was content when he left for college. Lena wants to pick someone special to take her virginity and hopes to find that someone soon.

Sam ease off on the gas so that her passenger doesn’t contract a heart attack. A muscle car pulls up next to Sam’s car. The car is too familiar to the omegas. They've been seeing that classic black Ford Mustang fastback all summer.

The Danvers sisters are inside that car. The oldest Danvers revs the car again, annoying the two omegas inside their own car. Sam got a bit distracted as she saw the second oldest Danvers giving her certain looks that any omega would like to see. Lena saw that Kara was shaking her head, not wanting to be part of her sisters’ reckless act.

The alpha speeds up and cuts Sam off. Sam honks at the mustang, “Jackass.”

Lena laughs, “maybe if you weren’t so distracted looking at your alpha, (Y/N) wouldn’t have cut you off.”

Sam didn’t park too far from the alphas, they both got off at the same time. Lucy from afar, ran into Kara’s arms and gave her a longing kiss for everyone to witness. Sam didn’t want to embarrass herself like that and waited for Alex to walk over to them.

“Good morning, babe.” Alex lifts up Sam off her feet and Lena gags.

Not wanting to witness their affection, her eyes fall to the older Danvers stepping out of the car last. You wore sunglasses and simple black jeans with white fitted t-shirt. You saw your sisters run to their girlfriends and you just roll your eyes at them. You didn’t bother to wait for them and just make your way inside the school campus grounds to go hang with your jock friends.

“I see that you’re checking out the oldest Danvers.” Sam teases Lena.

“Wait what? Are you seriously checking out my sister, Luthor?”

Lena can’t help to admit that you’re the most handsome looking alpha she has ever seen in this highschool and that she developed a small crush over you since her freshman year. Besides dumping Jack for pressuring sex onto her, she also did it for you. She had this little hope that would be her loving alpha but when she found out that you got together with Cat, she was broken into tears.

“You know she’s single right? Cat dumped her during the summer.” Sam informs Lena.

The raven haired already knew that from Kara. She mentally keeps tabs on the older Danvers and Kara just feeds her information not knowing that she’s helping her. During the summer break, Lena would often visit the Danvers household to hang out with Kara and Alex but you were never there when she visited. You often found yourself helping your father or out with friends during the early morning.

“I heard it first from Kara.” Lena replies to Sam.

“I’m giving you permission to go after my knot head sister.” Alex surprisingly tells her.

“Your sister doesn’t know I exist. Plus why would she want to date a small nerdy omega?”

It’s true that Lena is a nerd but she’s the most popular nerd in the whole school. She takes advanced classes, joins after programs and clubs to help boost her chances into getting into MIT. Lena is sure that you only saw her a few times ever since you met through your sisters and swears that you don’t remember her.

The school bell rings and everyone heads to their first class of the day.

During Lena’s history class, she doesn’t bother to give her full attention since she already knows everything and already did advance research of U.S history during the summer break. At the moment, Lena was thinking how it can be possible to date the oldest Danvers but it can be nearly impossible. Omegas are not known to court alphas. She wonders if she can grab the alpha jock’s attention but since she’s a Junior, she knows that she won’t have any classes with her. Lena nearly gives up on the silly idea. Maybe she’ll just need to move on.

***

It’s nearly the end of the day and Lena is looking forward to her last class, Microbiology. A class where only seniors can take but Lena’s mother, Lillian, helped talk the school board into letting Lena take the class since she already took all the other science classes and passed with A’s.

The raven haired was one of the few to arrive early and picked a seating of her choice. She picks a seat in the back to not draw much attention to herself for the semester. Lena keeps herself but checking her phone while the seniors pour themselves inside the room.

She felt a little lonely for not having friends in this class but she was content that she has classes with Sam and Alex. She also has elective classes with Kara and Winn. A few seniors recognized Lena on the way in and had a short conversation with the only junior in the class. Andrea Rojas, a cheerleader that Lena is friends with, sits before her.

The microbiology teacher who’s also the coach of the football team, starts to take attendance. It goes by alphabetical order and everyone just quieta down to hear their names be called.

“(Y/N) Danvers?!” Mr. J’onn J'onzz says out loud.

Lena’s head perks up and scans the room to find the older Danvers but apparently she’s nowhere to be found.

“Danvers?” Mr. J’onzz calls out again. He scans the room carefully and looks for anyone connected to the missing student.

“Gand! Where’s (Y/N)?”

Mike also known as Mon-El, a football player, answers, “I- um. I actually don’t know Coach.”

“Since she’s not here she better be at practice or else the whole team will be doing suicides for warm-up.” The coach threatens.

Mr. J’onzz is upset that his star player has ditched class but he resumes to take attendance and start the lecture. Lena wonders where the alpha jock went, she hides her phone under her desk and texts another senior she knows. She doesn’t want to text either of the Danvers sisters.

Lena: Mags, do you know where (Y/N) is at?

Maggie: Big D? Nope. She should be in class. Why?

Lena rolls her eyes at the older Danvers’ nickname. She can’t believe people call her that but she blushes on the reason why she earned that name. There’s been rumors going around that (Y/N)’s dick is huge and was exposed during one of the wild highschool parties.

Maggie was the one who started the nickname and decided to nickname all the Danvers sisters as well. She called Alex “Mid D” and Kara “Little D or Little Danvers.” Little did everyone know, all the Danvers have huge cocks and their girlfriends can certify that information.

Lena: She’s supposed to be in my microbio class.

Maggie: Hmm. I’ll look into it

The raven haired locks her phone and pays attention to the lecture again. It was long until Lena’s phone vibrated a text message.

Maggie: So . . Big D is getting a BJ from one of the cheerleaders.

Of course. Lena thought to herself.

“Okay class! This semester I’m going to pair you up with a partner. The project will be about collecting samples from different environments and studying what type of bacteria is out there. The due date is TBA but I suggest you start it early and not last minute. The project is worth 300 points of your grade.” Mr. J’onzz announces.

The teacher proceeds to read of the pairs of students for the project in his clipboard. The students were getting noisy as the pairs were being announced. A few were disappointed in who they got while others were filled with joy.

“Lena Luthor! You’re partners with (Y/N) Danvers!”

Lena looked up quickly when she heard her partner’s name. She sees that half of the class looked at her when they found out that their most cherished alpha is partners with a junior omega who’s known for her genius side. The raven haired caught a few omegas looking at her with disgust but she managed to ignore.

“Fuck.” Lena mumbled to herself. She can’t believe she’s paired off with her long time crush. It can’t be that bad right? She’s close with the younger sisters, doesn’t mean she can’t be friendly and close with the oldest Danvers sister as well. Or can she?

[electricbluebutterflies]

Chris/Melissa + bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go

Writing dialogue for two socially inept cats is FUN. Pre-s6-grayspace, pre-relationship, PG-ish, and also on ao3.

Another day, another minor crisis happening in her kitchen. This has been routine for years, since back when everything that happened was definitely human and Melissa didn’t realize how lucky and naïve she was, and so far nothing that’s happened here has been world-ending. The true weird-shit parade happens at work or in unconnected places, not at home, and she’d like to keep it that way.

Today’s disaster, such as it counts, is a beautiful man who managed to cut his hand while poking around in her garage.

They’ve been bonding lately, which is to say it’s been a quiet winter and Melissa knows how strange that is. She’s an average-sized woman if a little skinnier than she probably should be, and her self-defense knowledge consists of exactly one class she went to ten years ago because that felt like something she should do the same week she filed divorce papers. But that only covered human threats; nowadays that’s the least of her worries, and she’s pulled reinforcements. From what little she could piece together, a few passing encounters mixed with some vague questions she asked the kids as delicately as possible because she knows they’ll put two and two together and get twenty-three if she gives them any accidental bait, this seemed like a good idea at the time. Chris is human, knowledgeable, reasonably reliable, and deeply loyal. And more importantly for her purposes, he’s apparently bored enough to spend a weekday afternoon trying to help creature-proof her house.

Or at least that was the intent, and then something happened that may or may not have involved a hockey stick of totally unknown origin, and now Melissa is debating whether a few DIY stitches may be necessary.

“I’m fine,” he says in that way men do when they are absolutely not but god forbid they show anything too close to weakness in front of anyone else at all ever.

If this were anyone else, anyone she wasn’t on quite so many eggshells with right now, she’d call him out on his bullshit. He did not sound fine thirty seconds ago when she wiped his hand with a washcloth soaked in vodka because the house is out of rubbing alcohol so the clear drinking kind had to do. At least the vodka is unscented, she’d been half tempted to grab the tequila instead but no she’s going to drink some of that after this and…

“Just hold still,” she mutters, taking one more good look at the wound. Whether or not it objectively needs stitches is unclear, so she’s taking that as a no for now. She can just cover it and hope he doesn’t do anything stupid and…

Right. Telling this particular man not to do anything stupid. That’s going to work out.

Melissa has spent far too much of her life voluntarily dealing with a series of difficult men, but passive-aggressive suicidal tendencies are a new one for her. If she thought Chris was any intentional danger to himself this would be a different problem, but no, version she’s pieced together is he’s just reckless and convinced he’s got nothing to lose. And has lost everything, she reminds herself as she starts wrapping the bandage around his hand. That checklist of tragedy would push anyone towards self-destructive behavior, and she’s almost impressed how relatively functional he is.

The kids all collectively trust him, and she’s amazed they all agree on her most days so she’ll take that endorsement. From the look of him, too close and appropriately motionless as she makes sure the bandage overlaps the right way, he probably doesn’t sleep enough but she’s not seeing anything that worries her. His people skills are… existent? Not much for small talk today, but neither is she so she’s not complaining. Capable enough with household tasks, and she appreciates that, and-

Her hand stops. The bandage is perfectly wrapped, and she does not want to let go.

“Are you alright?” he asks, and god that low voice is doing things to her and she can’t and she doesn’t and-

“Yeah. I… we can finish some other time, it’s not…”

“Or I can look at what else you have out there without touching anything else.” He almost laughs, and someday she wants to see him comfortable because that’s probably a beautiful sight. “You mentioned a reliable baseball bat?”

“That’s upstairs, I’ll… I’ll go get it.” Not letting anyone up in her bedroom, not until she has to, she knows there’s some plan to turn her bathroom into a panic room but not now not-

“Or some other time.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You volunteered to creature-proof my house!” Which is by far the most effort a man has ever put up for her and this one is probably just playing nice because he realizes the power in being the first and only male authority figure her son actually trusts, she’d like to point out, but-

“And I’m still going to,” he says like that’s at all calming. “Just without putting my hands in dark corners.”

“I don’t know why we have a hockey stick,” Melissa mutters.

“I’m not sure that was the hockey stick. Felt more like rusted metal shelving unit.”

“You’ve had a tetanus shot since I’ve known you, right?”

Chris gives her a look that feels like the polite way of saying he’s not a total idiot and yes he’s taken adequate precautions for his lifestyle. “You should get rid of that thing.”

“I’m pretty sure my ex nailed it to the floor. Good luck with that.”

“I’ve had the misfortune of meeting your ex. I doubt he’s that talented.”

She laughs, because yes it isn’t that funny but it has been a while since anyone’s been so on-point about that mistake. “You underestimate expensive power tools.”

“Same ones still in the garage?”

“Yep.”

“Not that expensive. And neither was that shelf. It’ll move.”

“No pressure, you don’t have to-“

“Least I can do before it collapses on someone.”

Yeah and knowing their mutual luck it’ll collapse on him during that project, but who the hell is she to say no to a cooperative man. “Whenever’s good for you?”

“Once my hand heals. Now, I think you mentioned there’s an attic?”

“Yeah, and we’ve never been up there.”

“First time for everything?”

She backs away and misses the light touch already. God, she could want him too much if she let herself. “Follow me.”

Whatever the limits of his patience are, she thinks as she leads him upstairs and hopes he can reach the dangly thing that opens the attic stairs because she sure as hell can’t, she’s going to enjoy finding them.

[angelic-serenade]

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

request: Imagine Light discovering that you know MMA and you offer to teach him so he can properly defend himself

requested by: @sacredwarrior88​

a/n: hope the waiting was woth it! jokes aside, I am deeply sorry for the amount of time this took and the fact I got sidetracked, I hope you can still enjoy this piece!

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

pairing: Light Yagami x f!reader

fandom: Death Note

warnings: angst, ment of death & murder, guilt tripping, manipulation, light yagami being light yagami, toxic relationship, canon typical violence

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

“You're a pretty boy, Light Yagami. You should be able to properly defend yourself!”

That's what you kept repeating to the golden student of the prestigious Daikoku private academy ever since you had been granted the 'privilege' of referring to him as a friend. Light Yagami was nothing short of extraordinary - perfect, some would dare to say. But perfection and popularity, above all, are bound to have a price and you feared the day someone would finally strike up enough courage to try and shred the boy to pieces out of envy for his academic success and overall superiority in everything he did. Revenge was petty like that.

Therefore, being a well-practiced mixed martial arts fighter yourself, you insisted on giving the boy some lessons in order to at least help him reach a decent level of self-defense, so that he would hopefully be able to get out of any minor sticky situation unscathed. Extreme apprehension aside, it was a really useful skill which would benefit anyone and Light Yagami would be no exception. You knew the mighty hero of adults and students alikd had no time to spare, with his schedule permanently jam-packed and quite the amount of expectations to meet: MMA trainings would cost him more time he could afford losing - or so he had said. Whatever reason he conjured up each time you offered, it could do nothing to soothe your worries, which kept falling on deaf ears as Light kept politely turning your queries down.

“I may be a pretty boy as you say, (Y/N), but I am no secret agent or spy. I doubt I'd even run into any situation as dangerous as to call for such drastic measures. Besides, if I ever get in trouble I'll simply have to give you a call.”

And so the days passed between playful banter and boring study sessions, with no further mention of those lessons you wished your friend had accepted; you were a bit crestfallen to say the truth, but you guessed that maybe he’d manage even with no training at all. Besides, Light made sure to make it up to you by inviting you to hang out with him any time he had a moment to finally breathe and take a break – you were glad that you’d get to meet with him outside of school as no one else could actually say the same for themselves. You were aware that the boy was practically married to his academic career and the effort he made to keep the relationship working outside of the academy’s walls too was not lost on you. At first, everything seemed to work out just fine between the two of you: you were friends, best friends even, and you also became a regular at the Yagami household’s dining table. Furthermore, each time you’d have a MMA match, he’d be there to support you. You’d gotten so used to spot him through the crowd that your eyes seemed to immediately find him among the many anonymous faces around you. It was nice and it became routine.

That is until something seemed to change.

The shift was gradual, nothing major to be concerned of at first – maybe he was just tired because of the exams? Or maybe the field work he’d taken up to help his father was really burning him out, right? As days went by, you tried to cheer your friend up, but to no avail: his expression grew distant, and even though Light Yagami had never been an outgoing individual per se, his prolonged silences and far-away stares made him look even more stoic and cold than usual. It was worrying and it started to bother you, a lot. You didn’t know what was troubling the usually moderate boy, but you were certain that whatever the hell was happening, it was affecting Light immensely. Being a discreet person himself, Light never spoke a word to you about anything that might have been considered remotely negative. Your days were spent as before, enjoying each other’s company – to an outsider’s eye, nothing had changed in the way he carried himself, but to a more attentive eye, such as yours, his conduct grew to be concerning: even when he was with you, his mind would always be elsewhere. You pondered the idea of confronting him face to face, but you didn’t want to pry or come off as coquettish. Therefore you kept worrying in silence, mind haunted by the possibilities that could have led your dear friend down on such a questionable path.

You didn’t wait for long though. The confirmation to your suspicions made itself known when Light came to you one day to ask about those lessons you had offered him months back.

The sudden request, after so much time spent together without ever mentioning the offer, struck you as odd. What had changed his mind? As you racked your brain to try and get the answers you so desperately craved, you couldn't help but to come to the same conclusion over and over again: Light's excuse for finally making up his mind about self-defense was bulletproof, sure, but the sudden change of heart didn't sit well with you still. Was the wish to aid his father on the field all there was to it? You didn't think so. But until you had no solid proof to your suspicions, that was all they'd ever be. You refused to act on a whim and rather logically decided to humor the boy in his newfound interest, as long as he kept his sights on self-defense and self-defense only. In the meantime, you decided you’d monitor the evolution of his behavior and keep a close watch on him .

“You have made quite some progress, huh.”

You swallowed down almost half the water bottle in your hand, while looking at your equally worn out companion: it had been another two hours of training and you came to the conclusion that maybe it was time to end your little sparring session.

“If it’s you who says it, it must be true.” Smiled the boy, but it did not quite reach his eyes.

“I think our lessons are numbered, there’s not much else I can teach you.”

“That’s nice to hear, you really are a tough teacher.” Another fake smile which you did not reciprocate. As he made haste to get everything he’d brought with him in his bag, you made up your mind and settled for upfront confrontation.

“I guess… say Light, is there something that’s been bothering you lately?” it was now or never and you weren’t going to let the occasion go. He was tired and supposedly had his guard down – it was a moment as good as any to get some information out of him.

“Oh, I guess I’ve been pretty out of it lately, huh? I’m sorry if I had you worried, work at the station has been quite hectic and I can’t help but take it home with me.”

“That makes sense, don’t stress yourself out too much though. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can to support your father.” your words were automatic, articulated with little to no regard for the boy’s feelings: you were disappointed your so-called friend had decided to feed you yet another hollow excuse instead than opening up to you as a friend should. If there was anything you absolutely could not stand about Light Yagami, it was his charming way of spinning words in order to avoid revealing the whole truth.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

Frustrated that he had let the conversation drop for the umpteenth time, annoyed at your fruitless attempts to persuade your friend to simply talk to you, and, to top it all, exhausted by the tough training session of the day, you let the negative impulses get to your head and acted in an uncharacteristically rash way: the surprise punch landed on the target with no effort at all and, even though you realized one second too late that you had broken almost a dozen rules of the moral code of martial arts, you felt invigorated by the action. The sound of your punch colliding with Light’s jaw brought an immense amount of satisfaction to your fogged mind, so much so that you almost came to question your own twisted way of taking it out on the boy; the moment of blind anger subsided, but you did not back down from the upcoming fight:

“I intended to give you the benefit of the doubt, given the sincere nature of the friendship I thought we shared, but apparently I was way too understanding with you. I keep extending my hand towards you and you threaten to bite it off each time with your half-hearted excuses and half-truths. You may not be aware of it, but this-” you gestured towards him and then yourself: “this is not the way things should be between friends, Light Yagami and I’m sick of pretending everything’s alright.”

The boy did not flinch, nor did he make any move to reciprocate your previous offending motion. He just stood there, impassible and unreadable.

“Will you at least say something? Or do you not care at all?”

Light Yagami was stuck, both physically and figuratively speaking. Your harsh words had caught him off guard, literally hitting him in the face with the hard reality he’d been progressively distancing himself from. He had underestimated what an issue your shared bond could become for his great plan of rebuilding the world; if he were to be completely honest, he’d considered disposing of you at first – not permanently, of course, but cutting you off from his life would have been one less burden to worry about. His game of cat and mouse with L did not make things easy though: you were the weak link, a bothersome liability he should have taken care of since the start, but terminating the friendship with you so abruptly would have done nothing but to bring more attention upon himself and you. His position within the special task force of L was precarious enough as it was, he couldn’t afford the slightest miscalculation. Therefore he’d settled on exploiting whatever he could gain from the relationship (hence the MMA training lessons) while maintaining the façade of a precious but unfortunately extremely busy friend. He hadn’t anticipated you’d actually see right through his little stunt.

He raised a hand to his jaw – it stung. A sudden urge overcame him and his hand twitched as if expecting to clench around a certain black notebook. As soon as the compulsion hit, he composed himself once again:

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I realize I’ve been a terrible friend to you, but-” the words caught on his tongue, a sob rocking his frame so suddenly you almost jumped back, startled. Guilt began to pool in your stomach, had you been too hard on him?

“Things are not going well at the station and I can’t give you any details but it is all so- so overwhelming-”

You closed the distance between the two of you and, feeling oh so regretful for your hasty actions and so hypocritical for your arrogant claims, you hugged your dear friend as if it were your lifeline.

“I’m sorry Light, I-”

“There’s no need to apologize (Y/N), I have been so cold to you and it is my fault that I cut you off like that. I assure you it will never happen again, I will do better.”

You held the boy in your arms, and let him take his time to calm down. Horrible, that’s what you felt for treating a friend so hatefully - he’d already been struggling on his own and instead of landing him a comforting hand, you had hit him with it. You promised you’d make it up to him, too.

“If that punch managed to catch me so off guard, it means you’ll have to bear with me for a few more lessons, I guess” he finally smiled.

[…]

“You should have seen the look on your face when she punched you! Priceless! Oh I am so glad you humans can prove to be so entertaining yet!”

Light gave you a wave of his hand as he made his way down the street, away from your house, ignoring the nagging laughter of the hellish being following him around. What a waste of his time.

“I really thought you’d get rid of her for good this time! What a night!”

The boy made no comment to Ryuk’s exhilarated blabbering, trying instead not to lose himself in that primordial fury that made him tempted to write another name on the Death Note.

“And the way you managed to play her- she was mortified when you started crying! You are a great actor, Light Yagami.”

“Shut up, Ryuk.” whispered Light.

“You know what I think? I think you can’t really get rid of her, even if you desperately want to, even with no L getting in the way of your plans – you’d still wouldn’t be able to kill her. Oh, now, that’s gold!”

The boy did not confirm nor confute Ryuk’s words - he kept silent as he made his way through the darkness.

[scullydubois]

Only the Light Ch. 13

13/? | AU where Melissa moves in with Scully after Scully’s abduction | angst, msr slow-burn, occasional fluff | currently: Christmas Eve 1994 | T | 5k | previous chapters | read on ao3 | tagging: @today-in-fic <3

As Scully copes with her diagnosis, Mulder joins her for the Scully family Christmas dinner. Plus, Melissa's girlfriend meets the family.

TW for disordered eating, cigarette smoking, references to abduction/medical rape.

-------------

Self destruction is a natural impulse for Dana Scully, though she’ll try to deny it. Take one unexplained abduction, add a dash of premature menopause, and sift out time spent proving Mulder wrong, and you’ll get a struggling Scully.

She can tell she’s entering a bad mental state when food becomes a suggestion rather than a necessity. Every bite is either earned according to whatever trivial rules she’s set for herself in that particular moment, or is not deserved and therefore not eaten. It’s a game where she’s the coach, player, and referee, yet she still loses every time. Nourishment is both prize and punishment, feeding her hunger but vacating her control.

This habit started when she was a teenager and wracked with feelings her petite frame couldn’t contain. It felt much safer than the route her siblings had taken of sneaking out in the middle of the night or using fake IDs to buy alcohol or skipping church on the regular. As far as fifteen-year-old her was concerned, she wasn’t bothering anyone by foregoing some meals. Her mother disagreed and called her out every time, humiliating her into her second coping mechanism, smoking.

There were the times when Scully was really young and enticed by her sister’s cigarettes, but that was simple preteen rebellion. What developed when Dana was seventeen was something different entirely. A survival mechanism with poison inside, snuffing herself out while keeping her alive and sane. She would walk to the gas station and buy packs of Marlboros with coins from her piggy bank. The laws were lax in the 80s, the prices too. She would blow rings of smoke while walking home, then hide the pack in her bra and swish some mouthwash. She’d repeat the process to and from school, steadily acquiring a nasty nicotine habit. It continued until the summer before college, when she made herself go cold turkey so as not to take the habit with her. As far as she knows, neither her parents nor any of her siblings ever knew about it.

It resurfaces in times of stress, though normally for no more than a single pack. Lately she’s accustomed to keeping a pack and a lighter with her at all times. Her building is smoke free so she steps outside, but her car is off limits because she doesn’t want the smell to cling to her. It is a hassle, but then again, so are most things.

Missy knows about the poor eating habits--those are hard to hide from someone who shares the same space as you. Nevermind the fact that the scale shows six less pounds than before, and that adds up when the number’s not that large to begin with. Scully’s edges protrude now...that can’t be hidden.

Missy never says a word. She remembers Dana complaining about their mother’s condescending comments about her weight, and she knows the damage that does to a young psyche. Instead, she offers. Healthy meals, guilty pleasure meals, all her sister’s favorites. She cooks more than she ever has before, well aware that her sister will struggle to refuse her.

“I recognize what you’re doing,” Missy told her sister when she tried to turn away a caesar salad, of all things. “I’ve been known to do that too,” Missy admitted. “Eat. You’re hungry, you just think not eating will give you some form of control over your body, or your life...but wasting yourself away is letting the bastards win.”

And so she did, that time at least. Scully has enough shame regarding her habit to push it aside whenever confronted---that’s how she insists to herself that it’s not an eating disorder. She can stop on command. That makes it okay, right?

Getting back into the office helped her a lot---you can’t starve yourself and function as an FBI agent. Besides, she would dissolve into thin air if Mulder figured out what she was doing. He was the one who batted around the idea of Scully helping prep each case and supervising any tests he might need the crime lab to do while he’s in the field. He understood that in lieu of therapy, she needed something to take her out of her own mind.

It was as much for him as it was her; at this point, it’s almost incomprehensible to him that the X-Files had existed before her. Of course he was the laughingstock of the FBI! He had huddled in the basement by himself with UFOs and blurry Bigfoot sightings pinned on the wall like a shrine to his own delusion.

Her fall from grace was his absolution. He’ll make an angel of her, somehow. Even if it means he has to meet the devil.

Scully has no interest in becoming an angel, though she’d sure like to avoid hell, and that hasn’t worked out too well. Locker room jokes are one thing. Underestimation another. But assault? Rape? Trauma and torture because she is who she is doing what she does? She is not a quitter, and that is killing her.

Her barrenness haunts her because it was bestowed upon her as punishment, an implication that she only has worth as a walking womb. She wants to be seen as a person, not a pawn.

The arrival of the holiday season is another weight on her shoulders. It used to be Scully’s favorite time of year; now the sight of carolers makes her want to poke her eyes out. It’s the first Christmas without her father, and that is simply unimaginable. Her and Missy spent a quiet Thanksgiving with their mother---small portions and whispered thanks--in preparation for an elaborate family Christmas. Bill Jr. and Tara are flying in from California for the annual Christmas dinner and midnight mass. They will all try to move forward, pretend it’s just like any other year, but it’s not and it never will be again. Happy Christmases are over for the Scully family.

And yet, they will try to enjoy the moment. Missy told her mom that she’s bringing a friend, which is completely true. Trinity is her closest friend that she doesn’t share blood with. That said, she plans to use the occasion to introduce Trinity as her girlfriend, come what may.

Then there was the suggestion that their mother made, which caught her youngest daughter completely off guard. “Why don’t you bring Fox?” Margaret Scully proposed demurely during their weekly phone call. “I’m making a zoo’s worth of food, I could use another mouth to feed. I hate to see any of it go to waste.”

“Mulder’s spending Christmas with his family, I’m sure,” Scully had replied. “But I’ll pass along the offer.”

That was how Scully learned that Mulder’s family isn’t much for celebration, that he usually spends the holiday flipping between It’s A Wonderful Life and the 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story, and that he has a particular fascination with the idea of midnight mass.

“I just don’t get it,” Mulder mused. “You believe that a jolly old man with flying reindeer leaves presents in your house, but you think he waits until after you’ve gotten home from celebrating Baby Jesus’ birthday? Didn’t you ever look for his sleigh in the sky on the drive home?”

“No, Mulder,” Scully sighed. “I just believed that he knew when we were tucked in bed. Santa’s all-seeing, you know,” she teased.

Mulder chuckled. “Kind of presumptuous to assume he functions on your schedule, huh?”

Ultimately, Mulder said yes. He figured attending the Catholic equivalent of Jesus’ birthday party would be another check off his supernatural bucket list, though he did not say this part out loud for fear of Dana Scully’s wrath. Besides, what else was he gonna do on Christmas Eve? Shake the shoebox of junk he stuck under his mini-basketball hoop so he felt like he was getting a gift?

And so the fateful day arrives. Mulder flips his Garfield page-a-day calendar to December 24th, chuckles at the comic strip of the orange cat eating all his owner’s Christmas cookies, and makes his way to his partner’s increasingly familiar doorstep. The sun has already slipped behind the trees by the time he arrives. It gives up easily in the winter.

He rings the bell and hears Scully’s dainty footsteps on the other side. She’s snuck up on him enough times for him to have developed a keen sense of her light footing--no more jump scares for him.

“Hey Scully,” he stammers as she opens the door. She had told him to look “festive,” so he donned his nicest green sweater (a gift from his mom from J. Crew...he had never worn it) and slacks. Scully rounds out their show of holiday spirit with a velvet red blouse and black trousers.

“You look lovely,” Mulder says reflexively, unsure when he started using such a word. Scully pulls at her shirt, obscuring the bit of cleavage that has revealed itself. “Thanks Mulder,” she mutters, ushering him inside.

He holds up the shiny silver gift bag he hastily stuffed with tissue paper. “Some candy canes I picked up at the gas station. I figured the whole family could enjoy them.”

Scully nods, amused by his feeble attempt at gifting. “I’m sure they won’t go to waste.”

A fire crackles in the fireplace. It’s so hot in the apartment that Mulder is surprised it hasn’t melted the snow outside on the sidewalk.

“Where’s Melissa?” he asks, hoping they will hit the road sooner than later.

“She’s picking up her girlfriend from the airport. She couldn’t get an earlier flight.”

“Dulles?” He sure hopes not. It’s all the way across town.

“No, Reagan.”

Whew. Much closer.

“She should be back any minute now,” Scully continues. “Trinity’s flight got in at 3:30.”

Mulder rolls his sleeves up. “So your family doesn’t know about Trinity?”

Scully shakes her head.

“Do they know that Melissa’s…” He gestures, unsure which word to fill the space with.

“Bi? No.”

“So she shows up with Trinity, and then what?”

Scully shrugs. “She introduces her as her girlfriend. Mom already knows Missy is bringing a guest so she’ll have a plate for her.”

“You’re not worried about how the family’s gonna react?”

“Well, I’m sure Bill is gonna be a dick about it, but that’s normal. We only see him once a year, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Bill’s your brother?”

“Uh-huh. And Tara is his wife. They got married about a year and a half ago.”

Even as he pushes into his thirties, it still surprises Mulder that anyone close to his age could be married. He doesn’t even sleep in a bed.

“You think your mom’s gonna be cool with Trinity?” he asks.

“I think she loves her daughter enough to be.”

“Mmm.” Mulder sticks his hands in his pockets. If only he had dilemmas like this. He imagines him and Samantha speculating about their mother’s reaction to Sam’s nose piercing or dyed hair or...anything really. He would give so much to have someone to laugh about his uncle’s sideburns with.

His emotional deep-dive is promptly cut off by the entrance of Melissa and a brunette woman whose bangs graze her eyebrows, her hair falling just below her shoulder. “Hi!” she chirps, taking in the magnificence of Dana Scully. “Dana, I presume?”

Scully nods.

“May I hug you?” Trinity asks, hazel eyes shining.

“Sure,” Scully says, feeling the brisk air against Trinity’s coat as she’s pulled in.

Scully lets go first, and Trinity takes that as a cue to pull away. “You look just like Mel, wow,” she remarks, fighting the urge to run her fingers through Scully’s hair.

Scully smiles softly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh, it is,” Trinity assures, exchanging a gooey gaze with Missy. Next, her attention falls upon Mulder, who does an awkward half-wave. “Hello!” She points between Mulder and Scully. “Boyfriend?”

Mulder chokes. Scully picks up his slack--”Oh, no. This is Fox Mulder, my partner at the FBI.”

“Ahh,” Trinity smiles knowingly. “Yes, I’ve heard about you. I didn’t know you would be joining us for Christmas.”

“Christmas is not exactly my family’s cup of tea, so I figured I’d get an authentic experience with the Scullys.”

“Same! I’m looking forward to Mama Scully’s ginger snaps. I’ve heard fantastic things about them.”

Mulder elbows his partner playfully. “Damn, Scully! How could you leave me in the dark about ginger snaps?”

Scully rolls her eyes but smiles. “I apologize, Mulder. Though for the record, the fruitcake is better.”

“Says no one, ever,” Mulder teases.

She grins. Now this is Christmas.

---------------------

Taking a seat at Margaret Scully’s dinner table feels like existing inside a Christmas movie, in Mulder’s mind. Fancy china, green and red serving platters, paper mache snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and a porcelain nativity scene; the dining room has it all. Not to mention the heaping piles of food there for the taking...if this is Christmas, Mulder wants in every year.

Scully does not share his cinematic fantasy. She knows better, having actually attended one of her family’s dinners before. Bill will get too drunk and start saying whatever comes to mind, their mother will laugh along like he’s still a five year old babbling about nothing (as opposed to the thirty-something spewing bullshit that he actually is), Missy will attempt to debate him to get him to shut up (which never works), and she will sit there and wish to be somewhere, anywhere else. And all without their father to hold the reins and keep a fight from breaking out.

The night has gone smoothly enough, Scully supposes. Missy introduced Trinity as her girlfriend in a very non-ceremonial way, forcing Bill and their mother to nod and accept it, in the moment at least. Mulder received a hug from Margaret and a pat on the shoulder from Bill, so pretty much the highest token of approval. Mulder’s candy canes earned a place in the center of the dessert table, which gave him way more satisfaction than it should have, and he couldn’t help but feel that if they were to vote on favorite man at the party, he would win. A room with Bill Jr. in it is probably the only place he would ever earn this honor, and he’ll take that.

Yet everything unwinds as Scully suspected. Bill waits until everyone has packed plates and full mouths to unleash his particular hyperfixation for the night.

“Trinity?” he questions, raising his fork diagonal across the table toward her. “Is that your name?”

Trinity smiles and nods, oblivious to what she’s in for.

“And you know Melissa how…?”

She pats a napkin to her mouth. “We worked at the same restaurant in Oregon.”

He chuckles gruffly. “What was it, one of those gay bar things?”

“No, an Italian bistro,” Trinity continues calmly.

Missy, however, is not so calm. “Gay people can go places other than gay bars,” she retorts. “We’re not segregated. Though I’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Bill sets a fist on the table, clanging his silverware. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Why the hell do you insist on being so politically correct all the time? I’d shoot myself.”

“Gee, maybe you should try it sometime.”

“Now Melissa…” Margaret Scully’s voice rises above the clamor.

“I have the right to defend my girlfriend and I against Bill’s thinly disguised homophobia,” Missy responds.

“You act like I give a damn what you and your friend do,” Bill sneers. “That’s not my business.”

“Then stop pretending like it is.”

“Oh boo-hoo, little Missy thinks the world revolves around her.”

“Bill, honey, I think that’s enough,” Tara says, laying a protective hand on his arm.

“You’re right.” He raises his can of beer toward Mulder. “Whaddya doin here, hot shot? Trying to seduce my sister?”

Scully frowns, but doesn’t say anything, pushing food around on her plate.

Mulder seems rather unbothered by Bill’s advances. He chuckles. “Actually, I think it’s the other way around.”

Bill snorts. “That’s a likely story.”

“You don’t think I’m worth your sister’s time?”

“I don’t think Dana thinks you're worth her time. You’re not her type.”

“I am sitting right here, you know,” Scully says, staring daggers at her brother.

“Then tell us Dana! Is hot shot here your type?”

Her eyes brush Mulder’s face. His cheeks flush, reddening like a stormy sunset. She wishes she could read his mind. The safe answer and the true answer are not often the same. “I think Mulder is a wonderful man. I’m very lucky to know him,” she answers stiffly, her annoyance aimed at Bill.

“Oh, the old run-around!” Bill scraps his fork against his plate. ”Typical.”

Scully grabs her now empty canned cocktail and sulks into the kitchen, leaving her chair pushed away from the table. Everyone watches her go, but Bill gives off the only visible reaction. He laughs. “Scared her away. Thought it would take more.”

Mulder and Melissa exchange a glance. She nods, granting him permission to play knight-in-shining-armor. Quietly, Mulder slips out of his chair and pushes it back into place. He catches the kitchen door as it swings closed behind his partner.

Her anger concealed from the rest of the family, Scully drops her can in the recycling bin with a bang. She ignores Mulder, instead opening the refrigerator and pulling out another cocktail, saying nothing.

“What is this, your fifth drink?” Mulder brushes his hand over her shoulder, and she recoils. “Leave me alone, Mulder.” She slams the fridge and tries to turn around, but he’s cornered her.

“C’mon Scully, Bill’s harmless. He doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s not fucking about Bill,” she fumes, alcohol fizzing through her bloodstream. She inhales, trying to keep it together in front of the man who has done nothing wrong to her. “Please get out of my way.”

“What’s wrong?” He frames her shoulders with his hands, creating their own little bubble.

“Don’t touch me!” she growls. Mulder knows as soon as hears it: he will never forget the pure anguish in her voice. As she retreats to the corner, he looks down at his palms, the stovetop that burned her...he would cut them off if he could.

Unfortunately, the commotion attracts the Scully’s like a dog whistle. Bill leads the charge into the kitchen, getting a full view of his sister hunched over by the back door while her partner stands by the fridge like an idiot. “Ooo, a lover’s spat!” he exclaims, only nominally concerned about Dana’s well-being.

“Shut up, Bill,” Missy hisses. To everyone’s relief, he does.

Mrs. Scully comes forward, maneuvering around Mulder to get to her daughter. “Are you alright, Dana?”

Scully keeps her back to the crowd. “I just need a minute.” She taps her pocket, confirms that she slipped her pack of cigarettes in. “I’ll be outside. Everyone can go back to dinner, please.”

She twists the doorknob and steps onto the back deck without waiting for any response. Mulder feels the tug of tears in his throat, like a dormant animal waking up in him. He is used to being hurt (though not by Scully, never her), but inflicting the hurt is a whole other beast. He doesn’t know what he’s done, but he doesn’t need to. The look in her eyes, put there by what he thought was a harmless touch, made his heart tremble. He is frozen in place, grateful when Melissa appears at his side as the rest of the party returns to the dining room.

“I didn’t mean to upset her, I was trying to make her feel better about Bill…” he laments.

“I’m sure, I’m sure. It’s not you specifically, she’s going through a lot right now--you know.”

Mulder rubs his neck. “I don’t know if I do.”

“She hasn’t shared her diagnosis?”

His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. “Diagnosis?! Is she okay?”

Missy sighs. “I think you two need to talk. If she gets pissed, tell her I sent you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Tell me if she’s okay.”

“She’s okay. It’s not fatal or anything.”

“She would tell me, if it was...wouldn’t she?”

Missy bites her lip. “I don’t know, Fox---Mulder. I would hope so, but I was under the impression you already knew about this, and you see how that’s gone.”

Mulder turns toward the back door, desperation living in his voice. “I’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta check on her.”

Missy nods. “Don’t let her weasel her way out of this one. I’m expecting a heart-to-heart, mushiness and all.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

He turns the back doorknob and slips through the door, trying to imitate his partner’s ninja skills. The old wood on the door frame shakes as he shuts it. He winces--so much for the sneak attack.

Mulder follows the arc of the deck, winter’s bite colliding with him. He didn’t have a chance to grab his jacket, and now that he’s thinking about it, Scully didn’t either. He can grin and bear it but she is all skin and bones, now more than ever. It scares him to see her like that, but it’s none of his business, he feels, to comment on her body. He can break her fall, but he must not provide an extra push.

The wind has no friends to protect nor foes to defeat, so it will give away anyone. It carries the unmistakable tarnish of smoke to Mulder’s nose, an ashy haze that has come to remind him of Skinner’s office and the shadow lingering in the corner. He almost expects to find him there with his Morleys and his sadistic laugh. Instead, he finds a redhead and her Marlboros shrinking against the December cold snap.

“Bum a cig, ma’am?” He scoots up to her, ready to retrieve his own smoke from her long, slender fingers.

“Mulder!” She pulls the cigarette away from her, holding her last puff captive in her lungs.

He wiggles his fingers like an impatient child. “We’re all gonna die someday, right?”

Her jig up, she rolls her shoulders back and releases the smoke with a great rise and fall of her chest. It mingles in the air with the chill of her breath, becoming one and the same as they leave the contours of her body. Head tilted back and lips parted, she is alive with nicotine’s ease and intoxication’s freedom.

It is better than porn, according to one Fox William Mulder. He’ll keep this observation to himself for now.

“Did your parents never teach you that sharing is caring?” he rambles. “C’mon, give me a light!”

“It’s a nasty habit, Mulder.”

“I’m a connoisseur of those,” he replies loosely. “Now, you’re not gonna make me put you in a headlock are ya?”

Scully rolls her eyes. She’s never felt less threatened in her life. “You’re exhausting, do you know that?”

“I’ve heard it a time or two.”

She pulls a cigarette from her carton and slips it into his fingers. They are warm; hers are ice-cold. “I wanted to be alone.” She hands him the lighter, watches as he generates heat from thin air.

He lights his cig and sticks the lighter in his pocket rather than handing it back to her. “According to my calculations, you should be very drunk right now. Other than your Oscar bait performance back there, you’ve got things pretty under control I’d say.”

Scully gestures at her cigarette smoking, teeth chattering self. “Yeah, I’m the picture of health.”

“Do you have some exceptional alcohol tolerance I should know about, because that’d make you very valuable in undercover work.”

Scully gazes out into the distance. She’d smile if she were to look at him right now, and that doesn’t feel right for the situation. “Those drinks have low alcohol content, Mulder. You can buy them at Dollar General.”

“You ever looked at their hand sanitizer? It’s like 95% alcohol.”

“Well, now I know where you go to get your fix.”

He chuckles. “You got me.”

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and he wishes, god he wishes, that he had grabbed his jacket. He’d take off his sweater if she wanted him to--stand there with his bare chest to the cold--but he has a feeling that would only exacerbate the situation.

He tries a more gentlemanly route. “Do you want me to grab your jacket? I won’t give away your trade secrets.”

She folds herself together. “No, it’s okay. It’ll make me get a move on at some point.”

They stand united in their rebellion, blowing smoke and freezing their asses off. Who needs Christmas cheer when you’ve got Christmas resentment?

Mulder sways a bit to keep his blood circulating. He is careful not to bump her. “You wanna tell me why you’re out-Scrooging Scrooge this year?” he prompts as gently as he can.

“In case you haven’t noticed, it hasn’t exactly been the best year of my life.”

“I gathered that, yeah.”

“And it’s the first Christmas without my father…” her voice warbles.

“Shit, right. I’m sorry,” Mulder murmurs.

“...So it just doesn’t feel very celebratory.” She takes a long drag. Mulder can tell that this secret smoking habit is not new to her, and he wonders when she picked it up, how long she has kept it from him.

He takes a deep breath, watches as it is written in the air. “Melissa told me you received a diagnosis, and I think we’ve already established that sharing is caring…”

Scully looks him in the eyes for the first time since he joined her. It has the sudden intensity of a black-and-white film, Scully the 1940s scarlet and he the leading man who pales in comparison to her. There is no one he’d rather be overshadowed by.

“It’s humiliating,” she croaks. “Missy and my mom are the only ones who know.”

“I’ve got the monopoly on humiliation in this partnership, so I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says, flicking some ashes to the ground.

“This is a particular form of humiliation you can’t experience, I’m afraid. Or at least, it wouldn’t impact you the same way.”

“Let’s hear it.”

She sighs. “My abductors removed all of my eggs, causing my menstrual cycle to shut down and me to enter perimenopause.”

His breath catches in his throat. “Jesus christ.”

“Uh-huh.”

He throws his cigarette on the ground and stamps it out, though it could have burned longer. “That’s fucking horrifying, Scully. You’ve got to inform the Bureau. We’ve got to catch these--whatever they are. We’ve got to make them pay.”

“No, Mulder. It’s too much. I don’t want to keep reliving it, I want to be able to move on with my life.”

“How can you move on when they’re still out there, probably doing it to more women?”

She shakes her head, feeling the snag of tears and holding them back for fear they might freeze on her face. “I don’t know, but I can’t think about it like that. It sort of...shatters everything, the idea that this could be a phenomenon happening to other women in secret. I wouldn’t believe it if it didn’t happen to me. I still don’t believe it.”

Mulder shudders. He can’t discern whether it’s from the cold or their conversation. “Do you think it was men who took you? Or do you believe Duane Barry?”

“It seems like a level of monstrosity that only man could achieve. It requires a certain understanding of society, gender roles...dehumanization that only humans could perpetuate.”

Mulder nods. Her reasoning tracks, but the thought of him failing to outsmart humans who stole away his partner is something he cannot fully process. It makes sense that he couldn’t find her if she was in space, but if she was on the face of the Earth, he had no damn excuse.

“You were just gone, Scully...you were just gone.” His aching is so palpable, his voice a cliff’s edge they could both tumble down.

“I know I was.” She takes one last puff, then lets her cigarette fall to the ground. She crushes it with her heel, her force premeditated and brutal. That pain is for the ones who took her, the ones who have obviously never loved a thing at all.

Head bowed, she moves toward the door, but not without grasping for Mulder’s elbow, assuring that he is following behind. He is and he will be, for as long as she lets him.

Inside, the home’s manufactured warmth hits them, unreal in comparison to the cold they have known. The kitchen is as quiet as it was before their ordeal, the dining room empty aside from Mrs. Scully clearing serving platters.

“Where did everyone go?” Scully asks, momentarily alarmed that she may have ruined the entire gathering.

“We’re going to drive around and look at lights before mass. Everyone’s getting ready.”

“Oh.” She looks to Mulder, as if to check that he hasn’t left her stranded. “I think I’ll stay here,” she tells her mother. “Make a cup of hot chocolate and relax for a bit.”

“Well, you’ll be missed. Fox, would you like to join us?”

He takes a leap, hopes he’s got the right idea. “I’ll stay here, but thank you.”

“As you wish,” Mrs. Scully says with a slight smile. Mulder had never noticed her resemblance to her daughter until that moment. It was like looking at a sketch of a famous painting; the lines are there but the colors missing.

Soon enough the crowd leaves and Scully and Mulder settle on the couch with mugs of hot cocoa. Margaret Scully’s tree forms the centerpiece of the living room, and it’s hard not to admire its gold and red decorations and the shiny angel on top.

“That’s gorgeous. Does she do it every year?” Mulder asks, ignoring the steam rising out of his mug and going right in for the kill.

Scully nods. “Every year since we were kids. There used to be a lot more homemade ornaments, but I guess she swapped those for a more elegant look now that we’re grown.”

“Well, it’s beautiful.” He looks at her, curled up with the glow of the fireplace falling upon her, and he feels warmth and safety like never before. It would be so easy to slip in “and so are you,” it is practically begging to be said. But she wouldn’t believe him if he said it now; she would think it was a pity compliment. Instead, he mouths the words, and she is not looking, and that is okay.

She snuggles deeper into the cushions, closing her eyes and letting her mind wander. She is the most at ease she has been in months--here in the house she lived in during high school with the fireplace crackling and her partner by her side--and that’s not what she expected from Christmas Eve. Heaven strokes her skin, and she blinks her eyes open to find Mulder tucking her in with her mother’s microfiber blanket. She smiles her soft Scully smile. “Thank you,” she coos, burrowing herself deeper into the blanket’s embrace.

“You’re welcome,” Mulder whispers into her ear. His fingers tangle in her hair as he pulls her toward him, his lips meeting her temple. She catalogues the feeling for her memory bank: chapped but carrying the hot chocolate’s warmth. She will spend the next while convinced that it was a dream, a fleeting image in the moments before sleep, but she will carry the feeling until she feels it again.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #236: “I Want to Be an Avenger!”

October, 1983

Spider-Man -- An Avenger -- ?

Y’know, march of time and all that but this doesn’t seem as surprising as it once did.

Not much to say about this cover. It doesn’t have a lot to say about the issue other than ‘SPIDER-MAN INSIDE’ but boy does it say it.

But, oh, the logo changed and its snazzy! I quite like it!

So recent going-onses for the Avengers. Thor and Iron Man quit the team for personal business. Hawkeye broke his leg and is on medical forced-to-leave. Scarlet Witch and Vision were called in as reservists and Vision immediately got damaged by a crossover and has been in a robot-coma ever since. Starfox joined the team.

But in more positive news, they totally kicked the Wizard’s ass last issue and it cheered everyone up.

So the issue starts on a lazy summer day.

Scarlet Witch is on monitor duty, scanning for any ‘this looks like a job for the Avengers’ type calls. And multi-tasking by also thinking of her tubed husband.

Captain America takes his turn standing watch over the comatose synthezoid.

And for some reason, Cap leaning on the tube like that cracks me up.

Starfox spends his downtime trying to hit on Wasp.

His pickup line is so bad.

Wasp finds it charming in its misapprehension although it could also be the sexy beams Starfox emits from his brain.

And She-Hulk is taking a bath in a large barrel in the Avengers’ rec center, which they have. Maybe its the super hot bath?

She(-Hulk)’s also multi-tasking by looking up apartment listings while she soaks but finds that everything on the NY listings is either too small or too ritzy.

It be like that sometimes.

Jarvis comes into the rec center barrel bath area with iced tea for She-Hulk, trying to politely avert his eyes. But the intruder alarm goes off and she(-Hulk) tells Jarvis to hand her a towel and runs off to his flusterment.

Between Tigra and She-Hulk, I think poor Jarvis is getting overwhelmed with rad ladies on the Avengers.

The Avengers assemble in the main foyer and found that someone just barged in the front door and disabled the security tentacles with some sort of odd, artificial webbing.

Who could it be?

Who could possibly break into Avengers Mansion under the mistaken impression that its actually a cool way to impress them while asking for a job, showing that he’s learned nothing in years?

Could it be the person who expressed interest in joining in the previous issue? And who is also on the cover of this issue??

Yes.

Honestly, though, what an amazing splash page!

Also, spectacular and no-adjective.

Spider-Man knows how to make an impression.

Not a good one, certainly. But the Avengers aren’t going to forget the time he was casually chilling above the dining table.

And Pete isn’t going to forget it either. He’s going to wake up in a cold sweat years later still mortified at himself.

I also love it when the title of the issue is something someone said but since it has to be emphasized to make it clear its the title, they suddenly start yelling in the middle of a conversation.

She-Hulk has no patience for Spider-Man’s nonsense and grabs him off his web hammock to yell at him for barging in.

Spider-Man: “Well, I’m not exactly uninvited! Your buddy Thor asked me to join the club just a few months ago. Sure, I’m a little slow in replying, but I’ve had a busy season!”

And then he snarks about She-Hulk just wearing a towel because Spider-Man loves low hanging fruit.

SURELY, Spidey knows that offers usually expire, right? A few months ago is forever in comic time and Thor himself isn’t even on the Avengers right now.

I guess, in fairness, he has his reasons.

Besides his usual perpetual poverty liking the sound of a thousand bucks a week.

As he later muses to himself, Black Cat has been hospitalized because she tried to help him and he feels obligated to pay for her not-cheap medical bills. And he’s already quit grad school to spend more time earning but his freelance paychecks are nothing compared to an Avengers salary.

He’s being an incredibly presumptuous dick... but for a good cause.

And its just like Spidey that he has a good reason for being a jerk that he’d never mention leaving everyone to think he’s just a rude goofus.

What a shame.

Anyway, back at the present, Spider-Man asks where he enlists but Cap tells them that unfortunately their roster is full up. The sixth spot is being held open for Hawkeye when his leg stops being broken (and you think he was moany about being sidelined while his leg was broken, imagine him learning that he was replaced, eesh).

Cap does suggest that Spider-Man could join Starfox in the trainee program but Spidey throws a fit.

Spider-Man: “Trainee program?!? Hey, I’m Spider-Man, remember? I was sticking to walls when you guys were still looking for a clubhouse. I’m no green rookie!”

Starfox: “Green -- ? I take offense at your tone, Spider-Man!”

She-Hulk: “There’s nothing wrong with being green.”

Pffft.

As an actual rookie who is physically green, She-Hulk doesn’t care for that phrase, maybe.

She-Hulk and Starfox possibly beating up or more likely being embarrassed by Spider “will punk the entire X-Men in the not too distant future” Man is interrupted by a priority alert that goes ARROOOOOOOO

... Is it the Nixon alarm?

Why haven’t the Avengers fought Nixon’s head on a war mech yet??

Spider-Man offers to give them a hand if their priorities are being alerted but with this particular alarm, Wasp decides its best if they stick to the rules.

And then She-Hulk chases Spidey out by throwing a chair at him.

Spider-Man: Well, that was certainly a wash-out! Maybe I shouldn’t have come on as such a wise guy... Maybe I should have come to the door all humble and contrite. Nah, they wouldn’t have believed it was me!

.... Hah.

But he sees the third-floor of Avenger’s mansion opening up to launch the Quinjet and fount of good decision making that he is, he decides to jump onto the Quinjet as it launches.

Spider-Man: Whew! This baby is really starting to pick up speed! I feel like I’m in a wind tunnel. My sticky fingers can hold onto just about anything under normal circumstances... boy, I wish these were normal circumstances! I wonder if this was such a good idea.

No, Pete, it wasn’t.

But your inner monologues do add a bit more joy to this issue so I forgive you.

Inside the Quinjet, She-Hulk notes that the controls handled a bit sluggish right after take-off but eh whatever the problem disappeared after they went supersonic.

Huh. I wonder if Pete is ok.

Anyway, Captain America, She-Hulk, and Starfox are headed towards Project Pegasus.

Since it hasn’t come up in Avengers yet, Project Pegasus is a government research facility that seeks out new types and sources of energy. And Cap helped organize their security force back in Marvel Two-in-One #42.

The priority alert wasn’t the highest priority. Just a code-five, indicating a low-grade emergency. But it didn’t come with any details so Cap is vexed.

Three Avengers should be enough for a code-five but problems at Project Pegasus tend to balloon into worse problems.

You wouldn’t think a research facility would attract so much negative attention but as Cap points out, there’s a lot of people who have a vested interested in making sure energy stays scarce, expensive, and presumably non-renewable.

And considering that the oil companies like Roxxon are EVEN MORE BLATANTLY EVIL in the Marvel U, yeah, uh, bad shit is going to occur.

Also, Project Pegasus doubles as a place to jail supervillains so their powers can be studied.

So, yeah, Pegasus having a priority alert probably means a headache.

So these three Avengers are going in but Wasp and Scarlet Witch are on stand-by just in case.

The visit to the super secure research station goes off to a bad start when guards rush the Quinjet when it lands because a foreign object was detected on the undercarriage.

Of course it’s Spider-Man.

But before he can be arrested for breaking into a secure facility, his spider-sense buzzed.

It’d be a bit confusing if it wasn’t buzzing before though. He has a bunch of rattled guards pointing guns at him right after some unexplained emergency has happened.

That doesn’t set off the Peter Tingle at all??

Anyway, since the buzz is pretty intense, he figures that its warning him of something “a lot more dangerous than the lecture Cap’s going to give me!”

Hah!

He doesn’t manage to warn anyone before a tremor knocks (almost) everyone off their feet with a THROOM

Spider-Man is still standing because he loves Elton John forewarned is forewarned and he can stick to things. And to his surprise, Cap manages to stay on his feet.

Cap: “It’s just a matter of knowing how to react and how to brace yourself, Spider-Man.”

Hah!

That’s So Cap.

Spider-Man asks if he realio trulio can’t give Cap a hand with this situation. Y’know, since his spider-sense probably will come in handy. Cap isn’t sure because of the question of security but Spider-Man has an idea there.

See, he’s been here before!

In Marvel Team-Up Annual #5 he helped save the dang place! They can ask chief of security Wendell Vaughn (who is also known as Quasar but probably not to all the people in this scene?).

Unfortunately, Vaughn quit a couple months back. Oops.

But since Cap vouches for him the guard driving them to the lower levels is like ‘eh whatever.’

The power of a Cap vouch is not to be underestimate and never to be used for evil.

They’re headed to the thermal research dome because its the last known location of new security chief O’Brien. And where he sent the alert from. AND where the recent quake came from.

That’s good multitasking.

They reach the blast doors sealing off the entire level.

Because yes, not only did O’Brien send an alert, he also sealed off the entire level and now something’s jammed the lock.

They have no idea what could be locked behind there but they do have a Spider-Man and Starfox asks him if he’s getting a bad feeling about anything.

Spider-Man isn’t getting any bad vibes, deeming it safe to go inside.

Y’know, this is an amazing way to use Spider-Sense that they could do more with. I always love it when Spidey basically exploits the sense for things other than combat dodging.

Like when trying to figure out how to turn off a device he didn’t understand in Avengers EMH, he just went around almost yanking wires until he found one that didn’t set off the ‘OH MY GOD YOU’LL DEFINITELY EXPLODE IF YOU DO THAT’ buzz.

Anyway, it being probably safe, Cap tells She-Hulk and Starfox to open the door.

Which they do, with gusto.

And a GRU-U-UNNG

Inside the ruins of the thermal research dome, a bunch of semi-conscious technicians lie about in heaps.

Some Project Pegasus security personnel fan out to do administer first aid while the Avengers look for O’Brien.

Makes sense. The nameless extras help the nameless extras so we don’t go ‘hey are the Avengers dicks for only talking to people with names?’

O’Brien is pinned under an arc of steaming rock which Cap starts chipping in half with his shield while She-Hulk, Spider-Man, and Starfox - all people who could lift that rock - just stand and watch.

Or heck, maybe its not supposed to be a random rock arc. Maybe its attached to the floor. Still though, She-Hulk, Spider-Man, and Starfox could probably break it more easily than Cap does.

Teamwork makes the dream work, guys and She-Hulk.

Spider-Man recognizes O’Brien’s green and also green Not-Iron Man armor from newspapers and realizes that he’s the Guardsman.

That just makes O’Brien sad.

Guardsman: “Aye, I am... or I was. The state this armor’s in, no one’ll ever be callin’ himself the Guardsman again! As of now, I’m just plain Michael O’Brien.”

The Michael Formerly Known as Guardsman starts to Explain It All.

He had come down to the thermal dome to watch the thermal dome researchers sink a new magma tap.

But molten rock came shooting up from the tap hole, which is a thing that’s definitely not supposed to happen.

Oh, and some molten men (but not Molten Man) climbed out of the hole and started trashing the joint.

Plain Michael O’Brien realized pretty quickly that he was the only one who could stand up to these hot men so he signaled for help, hit the evacuation alarm, and sealed off the level from the rest of the project so the problem was contained.

And then he got mobbed by the hot men and got his ass kicked. Turns out that his armor was pretty useless against lava men.

Oh, yeah, Cap recognizes them as lava men from his description.

Spider-Man: “Lava men? You have to be kidding, Cap! Lava men? I don’t believe in lava men!”

Cap: “Belay that, mister! I’ve been up against lava men -- and they’re nothing to joke about! You’d better thank your stars that they left -- !”

You might also remember that Cap has been up against lava men allllllll the way back in Avengers #5. Technically the first adventure he had with the Avengers after officially joining them.

It was also the issue where Thor stoically sank into lava without changing his expression from his default vaguely annoyed one.

Anyway, O’Brien tells the Avengers that the lava men battered their way into the maintenance section since they couldn’t escape to the rest of the facility.

It’s a real good news bad news situation because there’s no one for them to hurt in there and also its a straight shot into the nuclear research dome.

And we don’t want any kind of meltdown there.

Cap decides that this looks like a job for AVENGERS to ASSEMBLE towards. And more than the three plus special guest star they already have.

MEANWHILE, over in New Orleans at an important meeting that definitely would be bad to interrupt, Monica Rambeau (secretly the Avenger known as Captain Marvel but not the dead guy version, true believers) is applying for a small business loan.

And then she gets a bzzt on her radio watch for an Avengers emergency.

Oh no, what of her small business loan!

And also: what small business is she starting? I think I heard at one point that she ran a fishing business with her father?

But what of her small business loan!

Well, Monica agrees with her bank guy Mr. Hillbee that its an alarm watch and that its reminding her of another pressing engagement so hey is there a lot more that they have to do here?

Luckily, all that’s left is for her to sign the documents.

Phew, I’m very used to superhero stuff interrupting a superhero’s civilian life and then them angsting about it. It’s actually a relief that Monica was able to finish up at the bank before dashing off to a phone booth to take a radio watch call with Scarlet Witch.

Wanda tells Monica that they just received a call from Cap(tain America) telling them to get to Project Pegasus. Wanda tells Monica that they’re in transit now and asks if she can join them.

And then the line goes dead before Wanda can give coordinates.

Because Monica just followed the radio signal back to the Quinjet.

She apologizes that it took her so long (!!) because she had to stop at home first to pick up her costume.

Wanda marvels captainly “And I thought my brother, Pietro, was fast!”

Ha ha amazing.

I love Captain Monica Marvel’s ridiculous powerset.

She’s even talking right into their radio so she can communicate from outside the Quinjet.

Wasp, Scarlet Witch, and Captain Marvel arrive at Project Pegasus where they’re briefed of the lava men situation by some of the security staff.

Captain Marvel nyooms ahead lightspeed dash style while Wasp and Scarlet Witch lag behind by taking a high-speed railcar.

Dang, Project Pegasus is big.

I just flipped ahead pages to see how long it takes Captain Marvel to join Cap(tain America)’s group and its a bit.

I guess maybe there’s some overlapped time going on though.

Meanwhile, two technicians in research dome D-2 (called the Compound for some dang reason) ignore all the various alarms and such that have been happening because they’re super into their project. And are possibly mad scientists.

They have the intensity.

But they’re working on... Dr. Croit’s stabilizer? And apparently its vibratory pitch was changed by the tremor that happened? Unbeknowst to them, Captain Marvel just nyoomed by outside and the proximity of her energy form activates the device and the silhouette of some guy leaps out proclaiming FREE!!

Back at the Avengers side of the plot, Cap(tain America)’s group has encountered some lava men.

Spider-Man: “Hey, Cap... I take it all back! I do believe in lava men! I really do!”

Hah.

The lava men are between the Avengers and the nuclear dome so Cap starts thinking of ways to flank them so they can keep them away from it.

She-Hulk starts trying to plow a hole through their forces and... uh.... ok. Cap has Starfox just fly around and annoy the lava men because they’ve never seen a flying man before and its just freaking them out.

Really.

Cap asks Spider-Man to use his webbing to throw up some barriers in the lava men’s path.

Spider-Man: “Heck, I can do better than that, Cappy! Just a couple spritzes of webbing, and these little hotheads won’t be going anywhere for hours!”

Cap: “No, you young fool! Don’t you see what you’ve done!”

Throwing web on the lava men makes them panic because it seems like there’s a lot of stuff that they’re not familiar with and all of it alarms them. When they’re alarmed, their body temperature raises and can get up thousands of degrees.

So they just melt loose of the webbing and now they’ve learned not to be afraid of the webbing at all and they can’t use it to corral them.

Spider-Man: “Would it help if I said I’m sorry?”

Cap: “It would help if you’d follow orders! The Avengers is a team! If you want to be part of the team, act like it! Otherwise, stay out of our way!”

Yeahhhhh. I mean, most of the time. You have your fair share of idiots doing their own thing in the Avengers because all of these guys have egos you wouldn’t believe. But generally they can agree to work as a team.

And Spider-Man, of this era, isn’t much of a team player. Not like Wolverine or Batman ‘i work best alone, bub’ type of not a team player where they’re lying about not being good at teamwork because they like being surly and dour because they think it makes them more interesting. But Spider-Man mostly works alone and is used to just doing whatever he thinks the best idea is. And he has the proportionate speed and reflexes of a spider so he can do whatever he thinks the best idea is way before you can tell him its a bad idea.

That’s why Spider-Man makes so many bad decisions, because he can make them faster than good sense can catch up [citation needed].

Anyway, as he is NOW, he’s not a good fit for the Avengers.

Then again, neither was Hawkeye and they let him join. Makes ya think.

Back over at surprise man out of a box lab, the surprise man was Blackout.

He looks like he’d be an electricity themed villain but apparently his element is darkness. Annd he debuted in Nova annnd this is his second appearance?

At the end of his debut story Nova #19, Blackout was apparently sucked into the Darkforce dimension, a fate that Dr. Croit’s stabilizer had been invented to prevent.

So I guesss.... the stabilizer’s settings were altered by an earthquake and then it was powered by ambient energy from Captain Marvel zipping past and it managed to stabilize Blackout, yanking him free of the Darkforce dimension?

I guess??

As far as villain returns go, its not the most ridiculous but it is a bit contrived.

Blackout has no idea where he is and rants about how he’ll level the place if that’s what it takes to find his way out and in a more acceptable contrivance, he happens to be passing Moonstone’s cell when he says this out loud to nobody in particular and she likes the cut of his jib.

Moonstone: “Sounds like you’re a man after my own heart!”

Moonstone tells Blackout that she’s been locked up here so Project Pegasus could study her powers and that they want to use her the way they would have used Blackout but hey what if they join forces and get some comeuppance.

Blackout: I don’t know if I should trust her... But something about her voice is so reassuring.

Yeah, that’s what we call a red flag, you dingus.

Are we back to the days where some dudes will just villain because a lady bats her eyes?

Anyway, the locking mechanism is too complicated to figure out so Blackout just squeezes it until it explodes.

Um. Okay.

-checks wiki-

The wiki says he’s only supposed to have normal human strength but Blackout himself claims that his body is a living generator of black star energies.

Which apparently means he can squeeze an electronic lock to death. I dunno.

Freed from her cell, Moonstone leads Blackout to what they can do next.

Meanwhile, the Avengers are still struggling with the lava men two levels below. And the fracas has reached the corridor to the nuclear dome. Its now or never but the numbers are too overwhelming even for She-Hulk.

Spider-Man manages to leap above the fray and get forgotten in the confusion but doesn’t find that he can do much. He tries webbing the door to the nuclear dome shut but the lava men don’t even bother opening it when they can melt through.

Hmmmmm not a good showing for a guest starring so far...

When the lava men succeed in melting through the door, a blinding light shines through and the lava men kneel down and start bowing to it.

Ohhhhhh, I get it! They’re not trying to cause a meltdown! They just want to worship nuclear light!

... No? I don’t got it? Okay.

The bright light is actually Captain Marvel who took a shortcut to the nuclear dome to reach the Avengers.

And the lava men are really enamored with her, proclaiming her the lady of light foretold in legends.

Captain Marvel just kinda rolls with this and asks them whats the deal with all the rampaging and destroying.

Lava man: “We did but strike back, radiant one! Our village, deep beneath the Earth, knew peace -- until the surface men bored into our midst with their machines. We could not allow this attack to go unanswered. We only used our powers to stop the invasion!”

Wait, isn’t this the plot of the Jetsons movie?

Cap(tain America) smoothly slides in, diplomatically, to announce that then the surface people beg forgiveness and that this has all been an unfortunate misunderstanding that he pledges shall be put right.

And like how Cap’s clout got Spider-Man into this story, Cap borrows Captain Marvel’s clout to back up his diplomacy roll, saying “The Lady-of-Light will tell you that I speak the truth!”

It’s a good thing that Monica wouldn’t go mad with power.

Also, Scarlet Witch and Wasp show up, while Spider-Man snarks that they “missed the end of the movie.”

But since we can’t have pat resolutions given the subplot that was happening while the Avengers were distracted elsewhere, in the Compound, it turns out that Blackout and Moonstone have freed Electro and Rhino. And Moonstone has a Big Evil Plan.

Blackout: “Pay them back? Yes... yes, we must. But how?”

Moonstone: “In the best way possible! We’re going to bring this place to its knees -- by seizing the nuclear research dome!”

But that’s where the Avengers are! Silly villains, you’ve double booked!

Also, I wonder if the universe cosmically influenced Moonstone to get two Spider-villains involved on the one day that Spider-Man was tagging along.

I also wonder what Moonstone is thinking. She’s the ‘know when to fold ‘em’ villain.

Hmmm... Putting Electro and Blackout side by side makes Blackout look like Electro’s grumpy younger brother.

All kinds of good decisions have been made!

Follow @essential-avengers​ for more thoughts on villain couture. Also like and reblog so I can feel like I did a good job.

[ceealaina]

Title: What's New Pussycat? Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card: 4008 Link: AO3 Square Filled: K1 - Image: Uh, Kitties Ship: IronHusbands Rating: Teen Major Tags: Romantic Fluff, Domestic Summary: After crashing through a wall at the Bad Guy Lair of the Week, Tony finds cats. A lot of cats. And entire roomful of cats. Apparently Avengers Tower is now a shelter for cats as well as superheroes...   Word Count: 1829

So maybe -- maybe -- Tony had just very slightly overestimated his abilities in handling this fight without backup. Or maybe he’d underestimated the number of bad guys. But either way it was okay. It was fine, he was fine, everything was fine. He had it all totally under control. 

And he totally believed that. Right up until, in taking out what he really hoped was the last bad guy, he’d found himself thrown through a wall, because of course he had. 

For a minute Tony just let his eyes fall shut beneath the faceplate, waiting for JARVIS to run scans and make sure there wasn’t somebody waiting to whallop him with a bulldozer, or something else stupid. It had been a long day and a longer fight, and while there were no serious injuries, he ached in places he hadn’t even known he’d had. All he wanted right now was to go home, have a drink, and then take a long, hot bath with the jets on extra strong, and then maybe sucker one of the various supersoldiers he had running around his house into giving him a backrub and --

“Uh, sir?” 

JARVIS interrupted the very nice daydream Tony was developing with a tentative tone that had Tony groaning. 

“What is it, J? Another five hundred of them in the basement?” 

“Not exactly, sir.” 

But before JARVIS could explain, Tony heard the sound for himself, faint little squeaking noises filtering through the speakers of the armour. He looked up and his eyes went wide as he took in what he was looking at. 

“Uh, kitties?” 

“It appears so.” 

Lots and lots of kitties, in fact, perched in little cubbies lining the walls of the room he’d crashed into -- thankfully it didn’t seem any had been injured with his abrupt entrance, so there was that, at least. They were viewing him with various degrees of curiosity, and as Tony was still trying to get his bearings, one of them hopped down. He lifted his hand on instinct, and the cat wound her little body around him, rubbing her chin on his fingers. Tony blew out a breath. 

“Oh boy.” 

***

“Okay, so Honeybear, don’t be mad.” 

Tony met Rhodey at the door with an extra-large coffee and his flirtiest smile; in retrospect probably not his best first move, because nothing was going to make Rhodey more suspicious. 

Rhodey hesitated before stepping inside, eyes narrowed at Tony. “What did you do?” 

“Seriously! Steve already yelled at me once today, which is just ridiculous really because I actually didn’t even do anything wrong this time, and it’s not like he still has allergies or anything. Really, if anyone’s the injured party here, it’s me.” 

“I didn’t yell at you, Tony!” Steve called from somewhere near the kitchen. “We just had a serious conversation about making executive decisions without consulting the rest of the team.” 

Tony waved an arm like that was the same thing. “Who pays the rent, Steven?” he shot back. 

Rhodey just pinched the bridge of his nose and drew in a deep breath. “Tony,” he said, trying to get him to refocus on the actual issue at hand. “What. Did you. Do?” 

Tony gave him a guilty smile in lieu of actually answering, and then started to lead him down the hall. “I just want you to know that I didn’t have a lot of other options. There was nowhere else to take them, Rhodey. I couldn’t just dump them all on the street. And they were doing weird things to them, Honeybear. Cloning them and god knows what else, and sure I took out the bad guys, but what if it was the shell of a larger company, huh? I wasn’t going to leave them there!”

Tony could tell that Rhodey was bracing himself for the worst, so rather than trying to explain further he just led Rhodey into the room he’d converted for his purposes. It was supposed to have been a gym, initially, but then he’d realized the extent of Steve’s abilities and he’d repurposed an entire floor for the gym instead, leaving this space empty. It had been mostly used for storage since, so it hadn’t been too hard to convert it into--

“Holy shit,” Rhodey muttered as he opened the door, revealing all the kitties, some of the playing, some of them eating, some of them snuggled up for a good, long nap, or perched on the window watching the day go by. “Tony, did you start a cat shelter?” 

“Uh…” Tony couldn’t tell if Rhodey was impressed or horrified, which wasn’t a great start. He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Not exactly?” 

Rhodey arched an eyebrow, but Tony was pretty sure he could see a slight smile twitching at the corner of his lips. “So what, exactly, is it?” 

“I told you, I couldn’t just leave them there! And do you know how overcrowded the shelters are in this city? Nobody could take this kind of influx, not even if I spread it around. I could have covered the costs -- would have covered the costs -- but they still wouldn’t have the space. So… Easier to just keep them here, right?” He gave Rhodey his best smile. “Just think of it like a foster home, just until we find them all permanent homes.” 

“We?” 

“They!” Tony corrected quickly. “I’ve got a contact at the shelter. They’re working on it, but you know, there’s kinda a lot so it might take a bit. Come on Honeybear, it’s not like I’m going to keep them. You know me, I’m much better with electronic babies than real ones.” 

Rhodey rolled his eyes, but he was fully grinning now, and when one of the cats came to wind herself around his ankles, he immediately reached down to give her neck scratches, setting off a loud barrage of purrs. “You’re such a doofus,” he told Tony, but his voice was all affection. 

“Yeah,” Tony sighed, grinning back at him. “That’s what Steve said too.”

***

The thing was, while he never made a big deal about, Tony knew that Rhodey had always loved animals. He’d seen the monthly donations on Rhodey’s credit card bill (and had tripled them anonymously), he’d seen the way he’d choked up over the abandoned animals commercials on television, and he’d been in the car that time he’d nearly killed them while successfully avoiding a squirrel. (Rhodey swore that it hadn’t been that close, but Tony knew the truth.) 

So it wasn’t exactly surprising when Rhodey “accidentally” got well and truly invested in taking care of all the cats, making sure they were fed and watered, that the bot Tony had designed kept their litter boxes cleaned, and that they had lots of play and snuggle time. Neither of them had ever had pets before -- it hadn’t really been conducive to their lifestyles -- but Tony loved watching Rhodey interact with them. He was already soft as hell for the man, falling more in love with him practically every time he looked at him, but something about watching Rhodey interact with the clowder of cats made Tony fall even that much harder. 

He also wasn’t oblivious to the way Rhodey’s face would fall a little each time one of kitties left for their new home, the way he’d cuddle the remaining cats just a little closer the next time he was visiting them. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy for them, of course he was. And of course deep down he’d know that they wouldn't all be able to stay. But Tony knew his husband, knew how little it took for him to adopt someone -- that was, after all, how they’d ended up together in the first place. So it wasn’t surprising that Rhodey had mentally adopted every single one of the cats. 

They were down to only seven cats left when Tony snuck into the room one day, intending to ask Rhodey something that had seemed important at the time, only to find him sitting in an armchair, facing out over the city with his favourite kitty snuggled into his arms (not that he’d ever admit to having favourites, but Tony knew). He was talking away to her, telling her how beautiful she was, how they’d be sure to find her the best home, somewhere really special, and Tony felt his heart melt. He snuck right back out again, waiting until he was safely out of earshot before speaking up. 

“JARVIS? I need you to order some supplies.” 

***

It wasn’t too much longer before the rest of the cats had been adopted, all except for the one that definitely wasn’t Rhodey’s favourite, even though he kept turning down adopters for her, and had already named her Einstein. Tony loved Rhodey, but he was such a dumbass sometimes. (Yeah, yeah, pot, kettle, shut up JARVIS.) 

Tony had waited until Rhodey had some meetings that he couldn’t put off, pretended he was on a lab binge, and then the second that Rhodey was gone he’d rushed down to the cat room to get everything ready. It didn’t take much to close everything up, sneak Einstein out -- she really was a sweet little thing -- and then plunk himself on the couch in time for Rhodey to get back. 

As predicted, Rhodey headed for the cat room almost immediately upon his return, barely even offering Tony a wave on his way by. If Tony hadn’t known his husband so well, he might have been offended. Almost immediately Rhodey was sliding back out of the room, eyes wide. 

“Tones? Have you seen Einstein?” 

Tony feigned a neutral expression, but he knew he was doing a terrible job of hiding his dumbass smile, stupidly pleased with himself. “Oh, uh… She was adopted. While you were gone.” 

Rhodey, apparently, had missed his smile altogether. “What? When? By who?? I’m supposed to have veto privileges. I didn’t even meet them, Tones!” o

“Oh my god,” Tony groaned, rolling his eyes. “You ruin everything.” He was still grinning through, and he got up to reach behind the couch, picking up the little cat pet that Einstein was snoozing in, all dressed up with a red and yellow ribbon. “She was adopted by you, dipshit. Surprise.”

Rhodey stopped dead. “Oh,” he managed. And then he broke out into a wide smile, moving to take Einstein, now blinking at him sleepily. “Wait, really? She’s ours?”

“Ye-es…” Tony narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously. “You’re in charge of her litter box, though. I’m not doing that.” 

Rhodey just burst out laughing, bright and happy, and Tony couldn’t help beaming at the sound of it. “God, I love you.” 

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.” Tony stuck his tongue out at him. “You’re lucky you’re cute though, cause god, you’re dumb.” 

Rhodey didn’t even protest, just reached out and hauled Tony in for a tight hug, holding him close until Einstein gave an indignant meow of protest from between them.

@tonystarkbingo

[michaelbogild]

Quotes by Mehmet Murat ildan

A beautiful mind is like a beautiful path! The more you travel with it, the more you find peace and happiness!

A beautiful smile without any reason is the smile of the existence!

A bird without wings and a man without art are both condemned to wander in low places; they can never soar up to those unrivalled heights.

A cat’s New Year dream is mostly a bird! Don’t be like a cat; in New Year, dream something that you have never dreamed! Target for new things!

A good book is a lighthouse; a wise man is a lighthouse; conscience is a lighthouse; compassion is a lighthouse; science is a lighthouse! They all show us the true path! Keep them in your life to remain safe in the rocky and dark waters of life!

A little happy house is the strongest castle in this whole universe!

A long walk in a long beach shortens every kind of sorrow!

A romantic person will know from the bottom of his heart that no source of light can ever replace the mysterious beauty of a candle!

A street full of shadows will teach you what life is much better than the street full of lights!

A waterfall cannot be silent, just as the wisdom! When they speak, the voice of power speaks!

An uneducated society will eventually turn into something lower than a herd of animals!

Are you a stupid sheep in the flock or a free eagle in the sky? Look at the mirror, what are you? Are you some dullish cattle in the herd or a wise owl in the forest? Look at the mirror, what are you?

Autumn is the greatest reminder: It reminds us how dreamlike beauties our earth has and it reminds us how all these beautiful dreams can easily vanish!

Carry your bag by yourself; carry your umbrella by yourself; open your door by yourself; light your own candle! Do your job by yourself! Don’t use others! Don’t behave like a king, don’t behave like a queen! Be humble!

Clouds in the sky very much resembles the thoughts in our minds! Both changes perpetually from one second to another!

Cowards cannot pass beyond the walls or beyond the wire fences! For them, frontiers are always the end of the road!

Disappointment means that things haven’t worked out the way you wanted! And now what to do? Very simple: Stand up and walk! Cut the tragedy because our limited time must always be used for the forward movements!

Don’t follow any leader; don’t obey to anyone; crowds are slaves; take an independent stance; take orders only from your own mind!

Don’t say deep things to shallow people and don’t talk about shallow things with the deep people!

Elephants don’t know anything about the world of ants; the peaks of mountains are oblivious of what is happening on the plains!

Enlarge your windows till you get a window where you can see the whole universe with one look!

Every long separation is a test: A test to see how powerful or how weak the will of reuniting is!

Every morning is a revolution against the darkness!

Every New Year must be celebrated at the heart of nature - in the middle of a forest or by the side of a lake under billions of stars - because it is nature who has made our existence possible!

Every season has its own art and the art of autumn is to bewitch the people!

Every time it rains, the soil counts every drop to know exactly how many times to thank to God!

Farewell is a beautiful and a soft word and yet it is a horrible and a heavy thing too!

Flowers are the Romeos and the Juliets of the nature!

Flowers have the greatest talent in converting an ordinary place into a magical palace!

For a dark street, sunshine is most welcome; for a wounded soul, love is most welcome!

For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move!

For the cowards, all doors are locked; for the daring, all doors are open!

For the land, the sea is beautiful; for the sea, the land is beautiful!

Forest is a dream where you may find yourself and dream is a forest where you may lose yourself!

Full moon is a good fisherman; every eyes are easily caught in his net!

Genius tries to conquer the world with art, with songs, with words; stupid tries to conquer it with sword, with guns, with arrows!

Give freedom to colours and then you shall meet the rainbow everywhere!

Great artists come and go; they are born and they die; but there is one exception who has been living for thousands of years and still continues creating new works, new beauties every year: The Autumn!

Happiness has only one colour: The Bright! The bright of red, the bright of green, the bright of any colour! Happiness is bright! It shines, it sparkles, it glints!

He who does not walk against the arrows cannot talk about the strength of his shield!

If the storm underestimates your power, nothing happens to him; but if you underestimate the power of the storm, you sink!

If we had known everything in this universe, we would have had to find another universe to feed our curiosity, because what keeps alive man is the curiosity!

If you are good at building bridges, you will never fall into the abyss!

If you are sure of tomorrow, there is no fool greater than you!

If you close your eyes, no lighthouse can help you!

If you do not have the concept of distance, you may reach an unreachable place!

If you feel you have to open a particular door, open it, otherwise all your life that door will haunt your mind!

If you have carefully examined hundred people you met in your life journey, it means that you have read hundred different books! Every person you know is a book; world is full of walking books; some are boring, some are marvellous, some are weak, some are powerful, but they are all useful because they all carry different experiences of different paths!

If you have ever walked in Paris, you will see that Paris will ever walk in your memoires!

If you love yourself first, you will find your Valentine much quicker!

If you move faster than the music, it will look strange; if you move slower than the music, it will look strange! Be like autumn leaves which follow exactly the rhythm of the wind!

If you open your eyes very wide and look around you carefully, you will always see a lighthouse which will lead you to the right path! Just watch around you carefully!

If you see a castle under fog, you must walk there to meet the extraordinary dreams!

In a society where everyman is fox-minded, you need to be foxier than the fox!

In autumn, don’t go to jewelers to see gold; go to the parks!

In deep waters, you encounter only the wise and the brave; in shallow waters, the ignorant and the coward!

In defeat, look at the stars; in victory, look at the ground! From the stars, you get hope; from the ground, you get caution.

In the middle of nowhere, an old wooden bridge is a golden bridge!

Instead of politicians, let the monkeys govern the countries; at least they will steal only the bananas!

Leave city, leave reality; enter forest, enter fantasy!

Let me tell you something big: Give importance to little things!

Let the people discover you! You might have the key of the locked doors in their lives! Open yourself to the world; you might be the magic the world needs!

Let yourself disappear in the darkness; if you are loved, people will come and find you with torches in their hands! Love is a great searcher; it always searches the loved one! To see who really love you, just disappear!

Lighten your life with a simple life!

Magic of the nights is always much impressive than the magic of the days!

Man must be able to think freely and he must be able to express his thoughts freely! He who is against this is not only fascist and primitive but at the same time is a very great coward also! Only the brave and the honourable men are never afraid of freedom of thought and freedom of expression of ideas! Just like the cockroaches do not like the light, evil minds also do not like the freedom of thoughts!

Man must behave like a lighthouse; he must shine day and night for the goodness of everyman.

Max Lucado says that ‘A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.’ That is true and a man who wants to find out the truth must also do the same thing!

New Year’s most glorious light is sweet hope!

No flower is happy in a vase, because vase is nothing but an ornate coffin for the flower.

No king has a throne more beautiful than a bench covered with the autumn leaves!

No matter how right or how beautiful your path is, never try to impose your path on others! Remember that flowers by no means pull bees by force to their world! Your path is your poem; if people like your poem, they will fondly join you in your path!

No season appeals to the eyes as much as autumn; no season touches the souls as powerfully as autumn and no season invites us to the world of mournful thoughts as intensely as autumn!

Not every lake dreams to be an ocean. Blessed are the ones who are happy with whom they are.

Nothing is more mysterious than watching a lonely man who is taking for a night walk in a foggy street!

Photography is an art of teleporting the past into the future.

Pigs are dirty, but I will tell you something dirtier: Liars! Untruth always smells like rotten garbage!

Rain is nature’s art; umbrella is man’s art.

Real love and Sun have something in common; they are so bright that they don't have shadows, they are free of darkness!

Rumi says love turns thorns into flowers. This means that hate turns flowers into thorns!

Searching for the real faces of every face we met! This is what our life is!

Silent streets have many things to say.

Similar souls wander in the similar places! They may not know each other, but often they touch the same winds, they step on the same leaves, their looks are lost in the same horizons!

Simple life and peaceful mind are very close friends!

Smile is a good reply to the dark world.

Some looks are heavier than the thickest books because they carry the saddest stories of life!

Something reduces the speed of the world and that something is stupidity! Stupidity is a boring friction!

Sometimes you must do crazy things to discover the life beyond your life, to enter the unknown zone beyond your known zone!

Strong winds create giant waves; strong wills create giant men!

Sun gives light; torch gives light, candle gives light; smiling gives light.

Sunset is so marvellous that even the sun itself watches it every day in the reflections of the infinite oceans!

Sunset is the opening music of the night.

The best thing you can give to a child is to create an environment where the child can develop an independent mind so that he will be the man of no one and the instrument of no system!

The fate of the bridges is to be lonely; because bridges are to cross not to stay!

The first step to be a good man is this: You must deeply feel the burden of the stones someone else carrying.

The greatest storms on our Earth break not in nature but in our minds!

The Moon always finds an opportunity to turn our attention from the ground beneath our feet to the sky above our head!

The most beautiful springs are those that come after the most horrible winters!

The most beautiful sunset is the one which suddenly appears in front of you while you are walking pensively!

The most precious light is the one that visits you in your darkest hour!

The scent of the morning is prepared by the night; the scent of the night is prepared by the day; everything helps everything!

The trains always arrive at your station. The question is which one to take?

The wisdom of bridges comes from the fact that they know the both sides, they know the both shores!

There is a hidden message in every waterfall. It says, if you are flexible, falling will not hurt you!

There is no real silence for the sensitive ears and there is no real tranquility for the sensitive hearts!

There is nothing more beautiful than living a simple life in this complex universe!

There is so much beauty in autumn and so much wisdom; so much separation and so much sorrow!

There is so much hope in a little flower and so many flowers in a little hope!

Those who mastered in the art of falling have no fear of rising!

To get inspiration, go to the nature; for silence, go to the nature; to question the meaning of life, go to the nature; to feel the existence, go to the nature; to protect your mind, to reach the truth, to think about the universe go to the nature!

To speak with the shadow, you must know the language of the darkness!

To think is sacred; let every person think freely! To express what you think is sacred; let every person express his thought freely! If you do this, you prove that you are a conscientious and a moral human being! If you don’t do this, you just declare yourself being fascist!

Tradition kills originality; you keep repeating the same things in tradition! Behave like the sky; always create new and different things; be original!

Umbrella is comfort, rain is life! You must often leave comfort to touch the life!

Watching the infinite horizons gives you infinite dreams, infinite ideas, infinite paths! Choose a great target and then you will see that great instruments will appear for you to reach that target!

Water is the most perfect traveller because when it travels it becomes the path itself!

We are all on the stairs, my friend; some of us are going down, some us are going up!

We see what we are only through reflection and thus the more our reflections occur, the less our mistakes will be!

What do you need in the New Year? You need a dream; your dream needs an action; and your action needs right thinking! Without right thinking, you can have only unrealised dreams!

What is the name of your dream? A lovely wooden cottage in the middle of a forest? Or walking in an endless autumn path? What is the name of your dream? Don’t give a name, always give a list! Fill yourself with dreams because dream is the path to reality!

What you do when nobody is there is your true you!

When everything looks like a magical oil painting, you know you are in Autumn!

When the moonlight and the waterfall come together, all other things fade from the scene!

When the spirit of nature touches us, our hearts turn into a butterfly!

When the sun is setting, leave whatever you are doing and watch it.

When you are happy, you feel the sunshine even inside the fog; when you are unhappy, you feel the fog even in the sunshine.

When you are on the bright side of life, do not forget the people who are on the dark side and remember that man can easily slip from one side to the other!

When you increase the number of gardens, you increase the number of heavens too!

When you lose your path, you get an opportunity to discover a world you have never known! And better worlds are often found this way! Darkness and uncertainty hide presents in itself!

When you read a book, book also reads you! The book will know who you are from the sentences you underline!

Winter invites white; white invites silence; silence invites peace. You see, there is so much peace in walking on the snow!

Winter is dead; spring is crazy; summer is cheerful and autumn is wise!

Wise man is the rooster of the universe: He awakens the unawake!

Without the stairs of the past, you cannot arrive at the future!

You can never leave a place unless you leave that place in your mind!

You can walk in a dream while you are awake: Just walk in the misty morning of a forest!

You either keep your childhood innocence or you rot!

You need a temple to feel good spiritually? Go to a beautiful garden!

You need new roads to discover new places!