#and very terrified to break out
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Started watching heroes with my boyfriend and he's enjoying it but he can't seem to wrap his head around why Nathan isn't happy about having powers/doesn't want anyone to know about them (and we're well past the point where the Company tries to nab him). Keeps saying stuff like "He could win the election by showing off that he can fly!" and whatnot. Problem is I'm not really a Nathan girlie myself so while I do kind of get his deal intuitively, I struggle to put it into words... how would you explain his general mindset to a relative newcomer who's about halfway through the first season?
He's been raised to be perfect. To excel, but in a very "normal" mold. Wife and kids, no affairs no children out of wedlock. No brother who is sick, no mother who steals, no weirdness. Everything that doesn't "fit" about him, he's ashamed, even afraid of. [Which is why @petrellicest so often states his relationship with his powers make an excellent metaphor for being closeted, but I guess that's neither here nor there.]
Also.... just because the Company isn't actively trying to snatch him doesn't mean he's out of danger?? :'D Keep in mind, Heroes does not take place in a DC- or Marvel-esque world. It takes place in our world. Powers are not a known thing. Nathan is in greater danger from the government than the Company - he says so himself at one point. Not sure if you're there yet, but he thinks the government would take them all (all people with powers) and lock them away, because that's what he would do.
#he good at what he does#and very terrified to break out#and that's really no fault of his own - he's been raised the perfectly obedient son#the perfect PUPPET really#but do keep watching 😉😉 i think you'll have fun!#(and DM me anytime you wanna talk about Heroes please!!!!!)#nathan petrelli#nbc heroes#primatech
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[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harm’s way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that it’s interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raph’s tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leo’s are often shown to be ‘for the greater good’ (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raph’s already present acute seperation anxiety and Leo’s immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leo’s actual death still falls into the whole ‘morbidly lighthearted words’ category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think it’s interesting that it’s NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo ‘ruining’ a mission so…bad parallels#in the movie as well there’s a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo just…can’t roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if they’re so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
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Ok consider:
A new hero emerges and the Justice League watches him for a while who make sure he’s not a threat. They see this giant clumsy man who moves like he’s not used to his body, smiles goofily every time he saves someone, and is clearly inexperienced with his powers and they’re all just like. Ah. This is a child.
Except they don’t think he’s a ten year old or however old Billy is at the time, no no. Clearly this hero came into existence shortly before his first appearance, just a few months ago. They don’t know how or why but It’s not the weirdest thing they’ve seen so it’s pretty easy to believe.
But they can’t just leave this toddler with the powers of a god to stumble around and potentially hurt someone by accident, nor go down the wrong path and become a villain. So of course they decide to ‘subtly’ guide him without alerting him to the fact they’re onto him.
They introduce themselves but instead of inviting him to the league they pop by every once in a while to ‘subtly’ teach him about responsibility and power, but also about love and humanity. They try to teach him to enjoy life and that he doesn’t have to act like an adult around them, instead encouraging him to enjoy his childhood even if it’s not an ordinary one.
(Too bad the Justice League suck at subtlety.)
Billy is certain they somehow found out he’s a kid before they even met him, probably because of Batman’s freaky know-it-all powers, but he isn’t very worried as they seem nice and don’t treat him like he’s dumb or fragile. They respect him as a hero despite his age so he lets himself act like a kid around them after a while.
When he gets comfortable enough to detransform Billy thinks that’s his identity reveal. The league thinks that he magicked himself a body that’s more of a representation of his true self and fits his developmental age better, possibly as a way to blend in with humans and experience what it’s like to be a normal child. Good for him!
Basically Billy gets a bunch of super powered parents and the Justice League get a newborn man that they think they’re raising from scratch lol
#billy batson#shazam#dc#dc captain marvel#justice league#fanfiction#fanfic#dcu#Diana’s idea of subtly teaching responsibility is to attack him before ever introducing herself#Billy’s happily helping a cat out of a tree then sees a sword rapidly approaching his face held by a terrifying woman#it ends with them both getting ice cream and discussing his tactics#Clark was one of the very few reasonable ones and just gave advice#hes not very subtle though#I mean have you seen him? he’s the most recognizable figure on earth#he’s often spotted on rooftops sharing homemade sandwhiches with Marvel as a way to encourage him to take breaks and be social#Surprisingly the most famous group of people in America who do flips in colourful spandex all day aren’t exactly masters of subtlety#Bruce tried to do an irl trolley problem to see how he would handle it#it was rigged so no one would get hurt and all the victims were well paid actors of course#but Billy didn’t know that#he stopped the trolley with his bare hands#he didn’t even consider any other option#he did not go to school so he's never heard of the problem and didn't even realize there WAS another option#Bruce nodded approvingly but was honsetly kind of disappointed#he wanted to know how a toddler with above average morals would solve it the intended way#maybe he’ll try it on Jon next#My writing
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Thanks Anon, Shadamy is now something that happens in the misc AU, albeit brief.
#shadow does love amy but he feels so insecure about not being a “real person” that he distances himself from her#they are still very close tho!! shadow is just hesitant#Amy goes out of her way for him and he doesn't understand why. he's not trying to win her over even tho he really likes her#they have a bit of a relationship for a while! shadow lets himself be with her and honestly those are his happiest moments.#after prime he withdrawals from everyone so he kinda breaks up with her (he's the most insecure and terrified hes ever been)#later they build back their friendship but they're mostly platonic#when Amy and Neo Metal become a thing Shadow lets go of any romantic feelings he has#he respects her new relationship and it doesn't bother him that shes with Neo#it does make him a bit insecure (because he wonders if Amy just LIKES ROBOTS??? so it's his regular identity crisis stuff)#anyways they're “love like you” coded#my art#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#my au#miscellaneous au#shadow the hedgehog#amy rose#shadamy
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Finished themmm
Accidentally
I planned on going to bed early as a celebration, but then I looked at my unfinished pf of Siffrin in the sketchbook and boom couple of hours of sketching, lining and coloring and the beans are now officially paper figured
I can now randomly take photos of them in a forest whenever I feel like it. I have couple pfs on me every day just in case of this happening
#fanart#my art#paper figures#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#loop#in stars and time#Are you ready for me to break it to you? No?#That scene on the laptop? A screenshot#It is a recent one tho#I replayed that hangout just before finishing act 3 for the achievement that required act 4#But I did pretty much play like that#God just thinking about my first playthrough try on this fills me with anxiety#I was so scared it would be the only time they get to talk before actually playing through the game normally#Preparing for bed found me two coins I guess those two really are coin magnets#I actually did Siffrin's hat at least at line-color but I'm still figuring out how to get them to wear it#I THINK I have an idea tho#But anyway#it's 3:30 am#They're also so tiny#Like I worried they'd be too big so now they're pretty average-small next to my last ones#Drawing pf of Loop was actually a really random idea and getting them to mirror Siffrin's pose wasn't hard to think of#I don't usually draw characters facing the other way tho it was weird#The funniest thing was me forgetting Siffrin's eyepatch until the very end while being perfectly aware of making Loop's eyes different colo#That moment of realization was funny just as much as terrifying
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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still picking enthusiastically over the in-game implications of having control over server code and the damage it could do, except it would be interesting to no one but me. but still i chew on it. the second you break players down into components it becomes so easy to fuck them up. you could just turn off breathing. accidentally. GOD
#serenblabs#this is very peripherally life series#and hermitcraft adjacent#but i think about fanon watcher lore right#maybe you have a young watcher learning how to manipulate code#read: an intro to cs student messing around with a terminal for the first time#the consequences of rm rf are disastrous.#the consequences of MV#freaking MV#in a watcher scenario are WORSE#because the SECOND you break a dependency -#ESPECIALLY if all the players are hooked up to a player class or a service#that provides common functions like BREATHING -#breaking any of those dependencies would be lethal#so i am just sitting here with this really strong mental image#of a young grian learning how to be a watcher#dipping his hands into the codebase of a server absolutely terrified#and misexecuting a command as all students do#and killing every single player on the server.#god.#it would make him so reluctant to do Anything on hermitcraft#the second you characterize coding objects…god it’s so tasty#not even just general damage say a fellow player gets hurt and you try to help them#one fucking curly boy in the wrong place#}#and suddenly your best friend goodtimeswithscar glitches out of existence#fuck up a for loop and it’s over!#feed in a bad parameter and suddenly your good buddy pal scar is like. unable to replenish hunger.#that would be a bad conditional actually but yknow.#you could do so much damage!
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I have some questions for Stanley do you ever have flashbacks and nightmares of the war? If so how bad do they tend to get? do you have some sort of comfort item or like a little safe space for you?
Stanley: *looks awkwardly away* Well-yeah kinda, like I’ve struggled with severe anxiety, the amount of panic and anxiety attacks I’ve gotten especially after Kyle’s death, and my jinx definitely didn’t help me out, well some days I have nightmares on that day or when-him-constantly berating me and calling me all sorts of horrid things or when my old manager before I came to the msr-
But Nia and Freddie, they also know-what’s it’s like- I mean they did sortave kindave taught me everything they know(like Kyle)-They’re were both so funny and tried their hardest to made me laugh and smile and they didn’t criticize or berate me when I’ve cried or made mistakes started talking about bugs and stayed awake with me when I had trouble falling asleep (insomnia I hate you so much) since they also had trouble sleeping…
Nia spoke a lot about her old home in South Africa 🇿🇦 like the animals living there and she told me stories and she sung me a lullaby in Xhosa? Zulu? I believe (and I’ve memorized it by heart) to help soothe my fears, we talked a lot about animals together even spend time at her flower garden and Freddie always tries to get me to race him though it’s more of a doubleheader with him being goofy and telling me a bunch of silly things heh.
The others have also helped me.. I mean Stuart, Falcon and Andreas worked all day to try and help me with my jinx and Andreas did apologize to me for suggesting I would be better off as a generator (though that’s not a terrible idea, I’ll keep it in mind and that’s not the most horrible thing I’ve been told to do-….)
And- and *he gives a slight hopeful grin* Duke and Toby did help me get rid of my jinx and well-I feel so happy *gently chuckles*I’ve haven’t felt this much… freedom in years…it’s.its exhilarating (kyle should be alive not me-)
Ah-sorry for rambling I admit I don’t exactly have a comforting item or memento unless you count the Little Rock’s and geodes or herbs and flowers Nia, Freddie and I find together, and I love being in Nia’s flower garden, there’s a track nearby the forest where I get to look at the constellations 🌌 and the stars since Nia and Kyle told me so much if that’s a comfort space to say-well as long as its not raining or the weather is too much it’s comforting to me…
#ttte#ttte stanley#msr stanley#rws stanley#ttte nia#ttte fearless freddie#ttte freddie#ttte stuart#ttte falcon#ttte sir handel#ttte peter sam#ttte andreas#ttte duke#ttte toby#peter sam#sir handel#duke the lost engine#fearless freddie#ttte proteus#kyle proteus#my asks#thank you for the ask!#yeha I’ve overanalyzsed hims o hard but he’s got a lot of love self-esteem and self-hatred issues mainly because benson was an ahole with#Him he takes his anger and fury out on Stanley he got worse when Kyle died blamed him before nia and Freddie came to replace Kyle#then his old manager severely mistreated him (and Nia and Freddie) but Stanley was the scapegoat his jinx the moment he wa bulit didn’t hel#At all that’s a majority of the e reasons which stem from his personality he’s very independent and lone wolf he’s not good at trusting#Others and keeping a distance only speaking or interacting with Nia and Freddie at the msr only when duke tried helping him out of a#anxiety attack when Stanley accidentally “hurted” Stuart (benson and others gaslight him into believing every mistake was his fault )#does he’s try to be more open about his past the walls start breaking down a little bit he’s nervous and terrified underneath his blunt gru
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It's actually really appropriate that bsd happened to me because I learned about the Sengoku period of Japan from Samurai Warriors. I was moé Oichi in the very first dream in which I exercised volitional control over the dream narrative and environment.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#samurai warriors#ive always exercised complete volitional control over myself/my dream character#but i had chronic and constant and sometimes recurring nightmares and couldnt control anything else#so i remember very fondly the first time i figured out how to adjust the narrative and environment#i was oichi on a vicious battlefield and i curled up on the ground crying because it was too chaotic and violent and terrifying#there were no clear “sides” — so there wasnt anywhere to go for safety. someone noticed me and raised their battle axe to kill me.#and while cowering on the ground all i wanted was an invisibility cloak to hide under#and got one! so from there i willed a proper fucking sword and horse#then i willed oichi's husband and saved him like a damsel in distress#first nightmare i ever turned into an adventure#now i have so much control over my dreams that i can run simulations of major decisions and can collapse the entire environment if i want to#but my dreams characters (which are just less conscious me) get annoyed if i break the dream without engaging with whatever it's processing#so i try not to.#also sometimes it's an interesting or exciting story and i want to see where it's going#or it's laden with imagery i want to unpack#or i forget it's a dream until the dream characters break the fourth wall at the end to deliver me the takeaway I need to remember#but none of this happened suddenly. it was a slow process that began out of my desperation to no longer be victimized by my own nightmares#and oichi was the turning point.#and also got me very into the sengoku period of japan from ages 9-15.#that abruptly ended because of a marijuana leaf#but that's a separate story#anyway#it just struck me that everything i know about japanese history. came to me first as gaggles of bishie japanese historical figures.#sorry japan but thank you bishie nobunaga and bishie dazai
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Woe, angst be upon yee
Think about this plot for more than a minute and it'll start to fall apart probably but just uhhh please don't think about it too much😞🙏
So Sosu has been frozen for over 210 years, they came from a world that wasn't as irradiated as the Commonwealth is currently, so, why not give them radiation poisoning?
They feel fine when they first step out but even still, they can just feel things are different, everything, even the air, feels contamimated. Over the many years, most of the radiation has disappeared, people of the Commonwealth have grown a tolerance to the low amount of radiation that still persists, but Sosu being completely new to this world has no such tolerance and even with a radiation suit slowing the process, the poisoning still seeps into them, slowly starting to kill them. At first it's barely noticeable but the closer they get to their goal, the weaker they seem to get.
First true problem presents itself, the Dimly-lit desert- I mean the Glowing Sea. Even with the power armor taking most of the radiation, by the time they get to the insitute, they're severely ill. The fatigue, the effects of the radiation, it's all obvious. Despite never knowing them it pains the Father to see them in such a way, perhaps it was cruel to let them out of their frozen prison.
Nonetheless the institute is smart, has people to deal with what radaway can't heal, and so with time Sosu is cured but it's made clear to them; any trips to Commonwealth are risky, simply put their body can't handle the radiation.
Obviously there are companions that want the Institute destroyed, but I wonder how they'd react to this? Going off of the assumption that they're close to Sosu, just how willing would they be to write their death sentence by demanding them to destroy the only thing that can help them stay alive? The thing that'd let the companion keep their close friend, maybe their lover, alive? How willing would they be to sacrifice the person whose been there for them this entire time, despite Sosu having their own struggles to deal with?
And with X6? Oh with X6 just think about it. Time passes and he's, dare he say, attached to the future leader. Slowly, without his notice, he's started to truly care. How would he take it, hearing other companions, or faction leaders, demand that Sosu does the "right thing" and destroy the Institute, destroy the only place where they can roam free without a hazmat suit, without having to worry about radiation?
He'd be kinda angry about it I think
#I feel like Preston might be the one most likely to try to look for a different solution? Very possibly Nick#like said I feel like this plot doesn't make THAT much sense but idk it's been stuck in my head for a looong while and wanted to get it out#fo4#fo4 companions#fo4 x reader#fallout x reader#fallout 4 x reader#Preston is a kind man. He'd probably try to figure out something that'd keep his friend alive. Mans lost way too much to loose them too#with Nick I just feel like he'd be another to *really* try to figure out some other solution besides just shrugging and saying 'tough shit'#I'm not entirely too sure about the other companions...#oh right Curie and Codsworth would definately try to figure out something too#but with the rest? I'm just not sure at all 😭#Gage would probably suggest to raid the whole place so Sosu can just live there without the Institute-#Sosu: Without the Institute... I'll die#Gage: Boss listen. Lets just break in. Kill everyone there. You live there. Problem solved#God can you imagine raiders with Institute technology#just able to teleport in and out with no issue?#terrifying. In killing the boogeyman you'd create another#but I doubt the nuka raiders would want to live inside the institute
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you ever think about how nancy and alain died the same way
#rejuv spoilers#one of my favorite tropes is when the selfless sacrifice gets deconstructed#so the person sacrifices themself but theyre TERRIFIED. and they change their mind. they beg for life they beg for mercy#they do not want to die and that crumbles in their last moments. they dont want to leave their loved ones#but its too late.#its heartbreaking for both characters in different ways too#nancy is a very soft spoken sweet individual and seeing her break down like that and act desperate is jarring#especially since she did sacrifice herself before. but without the threat of death…#and that changes everything…. and then alain is the tough one. they pick fights they lash out and they act aloof and angry#and then she not only dies so crescent and mc can escape but gets scared and starts begging for mercy#like…. it feels so human. cause we all would jump to say that yes we’re ‘’selfless’’ enough to sacrifice ourselves for our family and friend#friends#but actually looking at death in the face knowing its coming? that shakes you to your core#echoed voice
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Happy autumn guys. In celebration I offer. uh. um. silly horror podcast
#totally not nervous to post stuff for a bigger fandom I just joined hehe#<- lying he’s lying he’s terrified#still kind of figuring out how to draw characters you don’t rly see ever at all#getting a lot of inspiration from fanart but still#I went only a bit crazy and got through 4 seasons in less than two months. so this is the result#very silly non serious doodles#except for the last one#I rly liked the buried episode#tma spoilers#the Magnus archives#tma#tma fanart#Crab Doodles#eeeeeeeeeeee ok after this I’m doing OC art I need a break from the anxiety of big fandoms#tw claustrophobia#tw scopophobia#god someone let me know if I left out any warnings plz plz plz
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anyone else up feeling utterly overwhelmed or nah
#not to overshare on the internet but.#idk there's just So Much to untangle and So Many mental habits to break and it feels impossible. how can i undo 20 years of this.#like yeah ive already made some progress just in the last few years but thats just the very tip of the proverbial iceberg!!!!#every single day i find something else buried deep that i have to try and root out!!!!!!!!!!! literally every day!!!!!!!!!!!#im just. hrghhgh#i dont want to be fighting this for the rest of my life man. im so tired.#i think. the worst thing about this is. it feels like they still have a hold on me.#which is genuinely the most bone-chilling horrifying thought i have ever had.#i DONT regret leaving but man. if i fall back in. because everything familiar is there. i dont think i could rip myself away again.#because leaving the first time was hard enough. i don't think im strong enough to do it again.#genuinely terrifying. i hate living like this#getting the fuck out of this state canNOT happen soon enough. i swear to god#winter speaks#personal#<- sorry its very late at night <///3 im getting introspective and feeling frustrated
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when youre trying to live alone out in your field lab but then these two yahoos follow you out there and now they wont leave????
#my art#su is a very tired scientist butterfly woman#in my mind she was the one that initially designed the Infinite Prison Cubes that apparently all the espada have on them lololol#she was initially working with szayel bc they were both sciencey/researchy types. before he became espada lmfao.#buuuuuut unfortunately szayel is a bastardous man and. i havent decided if he steals her research and claims it as his own#or just frames her for something and smears her name#regardless she was demoted and was more or less forced to be a guard for one of the outer guardhouse things (think aisslinger and demoura)#it might just be that once he was promoted to espada she was. more or less considered part of his fraccion and she was uh#more than a little bit horrified/terrified of him. and was like ''please let me go anywhere else i cannot work with this man anymore''#vinetta WAS a gardener but after her greenhouse was destroyed she had a bit of a mental break and fled las noches#vinetta is a venus fly trap woman who also has some rafflesia shit going on because i think its cool.#she has a one-sided crush/fascination with rudbornn and yes. it is just bc theyre both plants.#theres no deeper reason for it.#also think its funny for him to see her and immediately be like ''oh no not you again'' and her just being like ''RUDY IS THAT YOU~~~~~<3''#marisol is nirgge parduoc's younger sister#shes a crocodile. and as huge and strong and epic as she is#she simply does NOT want to fight. she'd much rather just chill. and thats why she was kind of kicked out of baraggan's lil gang#her weapon normally looks like a pair of brass knuckles.#vinetta's zanpakuto is her umbrella jhfgjh#su's is just a very boring looking dagger. i was thinking it'd be funny for her weapon to look really cutesy or something so she would#DREAD taking it out hskjdfhdkj
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#juspion#the fight in this episode was very good#poor boy spent an awful long amount of time being strangled tho i'll tell you what#also the ragdoll was brilliant#but on a serious note the way zamba continued to fight as his machine body was breaking down was terrifying and unsettling#juspys desperation was palpable#his sword getting knocked out of his hands. the toll of being strangled. his guns damage going seemingly unfelt#and the gravity of WHO he was fighting#idk folks it was a good fight i dont know what else to tell you#space puppy posting
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just now, someone broke into my very next door (our buildings are connected) neighbor's place as they were away on a trip. they noticed over security cam livestream footage and contacted everyone. a bunch of cops with rifles and shotguns then showed up right in front of my bedroom window, broke into their house, and took away this singular unarmed woman who had snuck in and was hiding inside of their trailer in the garage.
the sergeant told my mom not to worry because they took several items (like a fire extinguisher) from my neighbor's place and were going to straight up lie about why she was being brought up to the precinct by saying that she was stealing/using said items so they can detain her for longer.
i'm feeling a lot of things right now
#of course everything that i just told you sounds deeply infuriating but i need you to understand that i am a very paranoid person#due to a history of having my house broken into before which has severely affected every waking moment of my life living in society#and the fear i'm feeling right now combined with this sense of hopelessness from every angle is too much right now#i just want to move. i want out. i need to move to a place where this isn't common.#i'm not only afraid of someone breaking into my place at any given time. i am also afraid of the deeply corrupt justice system#that would just tell that to my mom's face like yeah! this is a good thing that we do !#and not the most disturbing thing you've ever heard in your life.#while i am terrified for my life every moment that i spend living here. i can also see the skinny young woman surrounded by guns#being taken with her head down right in front of my window.#while unlikely. she could have just been seeking shelter or food for all we know. one look at her tells you that she's probably dirt poor.#and thinking about the way that cop just said they were going to treat her by just Lying. is the most disgusting thing i've ever heard.#i don't want to live here anymore.#i don't want to live in a neighborhood where it's a constant tug and pull between the marginalized and the corrupt#where My House is the stage. somehow.#i just want the fuck out of the country altogether. straight up.
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