#and use it to make turkey salad or something

[quantomeno]

I typically prefer the past tense. I consider it as a 'neutral' tense: the reader is unperturbed by it and it makes sense since most of the time you're retelling an event. But the last book I read was written in present tense and I had this distinct 'there's something off here' feeling until I realised it was the tense.

Also there's a bit in The Great Gatsby where Fitzgerald switches from past to present:

At least once a fortnight a corps of caterers came down with several hundred feet of canvas and enough colored lights to make a Christmas tree of Gatsby's enormous garden. On buffet tables, garnished with glistening hors-d'oeuvre, spiced baked hams crowded against salads of harlequin designs and pastry pigs and turkeys bewitched to a dark gold. ... By seven o'clock the orchestra has arrived .... The last swimmers have come in from the beach now and are dressing upstairs; the cars from New York are parked five deep in the drive ... The bar is in full swing and floating rounds of cocktails permeate the garden outside until the air is alive with chatter and laughter and casual innuendo and introductions forgotten on the spot and enthusiastic meetings between women who never knew each other's names.

As you can see, it goes from absolute past (came, crowded) to present perfect (has arrived, have come) to present (is, permeate). It evokes a sense of energy: "the air is alive" and it feels alive because it is in the now.

The past tense is the natural tense because that's how we talk about our personal stories. But you'll notice sometimes you'll use the present tense when recounting: "So I'm walking down the street when I bump into Marie and she keeps me there talking for half an hour, and I'm standing there with my shopping bags digging into my hands and she just yaps away."

The present tense tends to make the reader feel more involved in the situation, it makes the story feel more immediate and more real because it's not relegated to the past. A perfect example would be Se una notte d'inverno un viaggiatore (If on a Winter's Night a Traveller) by Italo Calvino, which not only uses the present tense but the second person ('you') to make the reader a character in the story.

There are also times where the present tense is used in recounting history. I've seen it done. I think it has a similar enlivening effect as it does in fiction.

Personally, I think the present tense is strongest when you use it sparingly. Too much of it can grow tiring. Partly by virtue of being a less commonly used tense it has a more exciting edge.

One last thing though, and as a final reason for the present, is that it makes the reader think the story is playing out now and thus what will happen next is still variable. In the case of the past tense, it's implied that the full story is over and the reader feels the narrator knows how it will end. In the case of the present, it feels more like no one knows what's going on.

Also the past tense is comforting. It is the tense of old tales and sitting by the fireplace, the tense of legends and rumour. It igves things a sense of fixity and truth. Brideshead Revisited, for example, needs to be written in the past tense because it is all about a reminiscence of the halcyon days of youth. Dracula should be written in the past tense since it is a collection of supposedly real diary entries and so it needs to look like things were being recorded properly and fully. The present tense can feel rushed, fleeting, but the past is always there and gives you time to set things down.

As a bonus: the future tense is an odd tense because it implies a degree of certainty, but can also have the feeling things could change still. It is incredibly disorienting and weird and should be only used if you really think it helps the idea you're trying to convey. Don't do things for shock value or o be cool. Like, a future tense horror/thriller story about an impending disaster to evoke a sense of helplessness in the reader might be interesting. Also consider context, because if the story is set in the past, future tense would be really off-putting (that might be the goal, or perhaps it's because a character in the past is predicting the future, there are times I'd say it's justified).

(also obviously I mean this as 'the whole book or a significant section is written in this tense, you can of course have bits where there's a bit of future tense, like that present tense passage in Gatsby. I just mean reading a whole novel in the future would be annoying)

I am thinking about fan fiction writers, but anyone who writes any kind of fiction can answer. (As far as I’m aware, non-fiction is usually written in the past tense - but if I’m wrong do let me know!)

If you like, explain why in the tags!

When I was young I gathered that all serious works of fiction were written in the past tense (past tense third person to be precise) so that is what i did when I started writing. However my mind was blown by the power and immediacy of Margaret Atwood writing in the present tense so I started to experiment with it myself, and now i strongly favour it. I get the impression that past is still the most commonly used, but I’m prepared to be surprised!

Please share!

[27treks]

finally found pumpkin seeds for a salad im making tomorrow. it was. too much effort imo. but I love pumpkin seeds so Worth it

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Blehhh

[mywritersmind]

UNCONVENTIONAL - LN4

summary : In which trying to make it home for thanksgiving fails and a cute british driver feels bad.

listen up : no warnings just cuteness! happy thanksgiving to all my americans <33 im thankful for YOU🫵 lando norris x american!driver!reader

word count : 1968

⋆༺

I groan out loud, dropping my phone onto the jet’s seat. “We’re stuck.” Lando sits up from his position across two seats, and frowns.

“Shit.” I look outside of the planes window, seeing the snow and fighting back tears. “I’m really sorry.”

“It’s not even december! Snow should not be here!” I wipe my eyes. I know Lando feels bad and I'm not making the situation worse by crying. But I’m having a hard time today because I'm supposed to be with my family.

Lando offered me and some other drivers a ride to Qatar for the next grand prix. Thanksgiving happened to fall the day before media day so I thought I could stop by my parents house and leave that night.

I never particularly loved Thanksgiving, but now that i’m traveling so much because of work, I've learned how much I truly can miss my loved ones.

Lando bites his lip as I sit back down and pull the blanket over me. The pilot informed us that we won’t be getting in the air for a few hours which means we have to go straight to the track instead of seeing my family.

I take a breath, “It’s okay. I appreciate you trying.” I hate crying in front of the guys, even if he is my friend. I hate it because it just plays into the whole emotional woman thing, and even though Lando is one of my best friends, right now I can’t help it.

Lando sits across from me, nudging his foot against mine, “How about we have thanksgiving here?” My head shoots in his direction as he puts on a small smile, “I don’t know a lot about it and I know I'm not your family… but I can try to be a substitute.”

I swallow, wiping my eyes again before I cross my my arms, “How would we even do that?”

I did not expect Lando to take my words as a competition. Still, thirty minutes later I'm sat with a full course meal spread out on the tiny table in between seats. There’s no huge turkey or array of pies, instead we have chicken wraps and fries. We have chips, popcorn, pesto pasta, orange chicken, a bagel, salad, and bread. A bottle of champagne sits next to me as Lando sits down.

His smile is wide as he looks down at the spread, “Good enough?”

“How did you…” I shake my head, laughing, “Yeah it’s good enough! Lando, this is really sweet.”

“It’s my first thanksgiving, I had to make it delicious, even if it is all airport food.” He shrugs and starts pulling things onto his plate. My legs are crossed on the comfortable seat and as I watch him pick his meal, I smile.

I bite into the chicken wrap that’s actually delicious. Lando taps on his phone before music starts playing over the speakers.

I smile at him as he chews, “So… what do Americans usually do on thanksgiving?”

I shrug and sip some champagne, “Eat, gossip, be thankful?”

“Okay! Let’s gossip then. Sounds easy enough.” Hes ridiculously committed to the bit and I adore him for it, “Did you know Franco’s signed with RB?” I start coughing, practically choking on my food.

“What!?” I scream.

Lando’s laughing now, “No I don’t actually know, I just couldn’t think of anything else.” I kick him under the table as he gasps.

“That’s evil! I got so excited.” I’m laughing with him now, our food picked apart and a mess in front of us. “What are you thankful for?”

He thinks for a moment, a curl falling into his face that makes my stomach flip a little. “Mmm… My family and friends.”

“That’s too generic. It’s thanksgiving- get deep, Norris.” He gives me a slight smirk before nodding.

“I’m thankful that the championship talk is over. I’m thankful for Chicken wraps.” He holds his up, proudly as I roll my eyes. “And I'm thankful for you.”

I’m a tad bit shocked, “For me?” I expect him to say something stupid or flirty, but he’s dead serious.

“You’re a really good person. I like being around you and for that, I'm grateful.” He raises his glass and I hit it with mine, “Now go on, brag about me.”

I roll my eyes, back to smiling humorously, “I’m thankful that I'm not alone right now.” His eyes don’t stray away from mine, “And I’m thankful for snow. Even if it’s pissing me off, it’s very pretty.”

We both look out the window in sync, the snow still falling. The runway is fully white, matching the trees and wing of the plane.

When I look back at Lando, he’s already looking at me. His face is relaxed, his freckles prominent and curls perfect. “Do you want to go?” I say suddenly as his expression turns confused.

“We can’t yet, we still have like two hours.”

A smile tugs at my lips, “I mean outside.”

He looks hesitant, “It’s freezing.”

I stand and grab my suitcase, unzipping it and pulling out my puffer jacket at record speed, “Did I mention every thanksgiving, something really random but really fun happens?” It’s true, for some reason this holiday brings out funny stories. “You’re not scared of some snow, are you Norris?” I step closer, narrowing my eyes.

He stands, grabbing his own jacket, “I’m just saying, don’t come complaining when you’re freezing and wet.”

“Me!?” I scoff, zipping up my jacket, “You’re the one who needs four layers for a sunny day.”

⋆༺

LANDO

I’m freezing my ass off but I would rather become a human icicle than tear my eyes away from her smile. She’s giggling and running into the snow, twirling around as snowflakes fall into her hair.

“Don’t slip, Y/n!” I yell after her as she turns around, the biggest smile on her face.

Her hand goes to wipe the hair that’s being blown in her face, snow falling around her, “Come catch me, Norris.”

I roll my eyes and hurry over to her as she laughs and dances around. I can’t help but laugh with her, it’s fucking contagious.

She sticks her tongue out, leaning her head back to catch snowflakes. Y/n is so perfectly caught in the haze of the snow and light peaking through the clouds that she looks like an angel.

She pokes my cheek and holds onto my jacket as if she’s about to fall. “Your nose is red.”

“You should get a job in detective work if the whole driving thing doesn’t work out…” She scoffs loudly and punches me in the arm.

Unfortunately, she’s stronger than she looks and because the ground is icy, we’re both falling seconds later.

She lands on top of me, laughing so hard that she’s crying, “Fuck! Are you okay!?”

“Like you care!” I sit up, holding her tightly still.

She laughs and plops down next to me, laying her head back and arms out. “Oh no-”

“Angel time, Norris!” She screams at me.

“I’m going to become snow!”

She doesn’t respond, just stretches her arms and legs out and waves them back and forth to make the snow part below her.

Something about her is my weakness and I honestly can’t complain when she looks so happy. I join her, my hair getting soaked and her laughs making me smile.

I make my angel in peace as snow floats down from the sky, landing on my face. I hear the rustle of her jacket as she turns her head to me, “Thank you.”

I smile softly, examining her face and the snowflakes that melt as soon as they touch her skin. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry that I'm not your family.”

She lets out a breath, “You’re my found family. That’s close enough.” her words make my heart beat faster, “Even if you are British and your first thanksgiving was on a grounded plane.”

“I wouldn’t wish it any other way. Although, next year we should try for a more friendsgiving approach. Maybe with the whole grid?” Her smile grows as she looks up at the sky.

“I'm very down for that.” As i’m mentally tracing her side profile in her mind, a voice and light comes very loud.

“You two!” I realize we’re in trouble instantly and stand up as fast as I can, slipping all over the place as the voice gets louder and the flashlight shines directly towards us.

Y/n is trying to get up with me but she’s laughing and slipping so it’s significantly harder. I grab her hand and we make a run for it, up the stairs and into the warm cabin. The door shuts behind us and I lean my head against the wall, sighing in relief of not being caught making snow angels.

Y/n is breathing heavily across from me, a smile permanent on her face as she looks at me. Her hair is wet and I'm sure mine is the same. I can’t feel my hands and I couldn’t care less.

“You look like a popsicle!” Y/n takes her hands and wraps them over mine, getting close enough that I can feel her breath on my skin.

I’d like to pretend that what happened next was a symptom of my cold state, but I’ve never been a good liar.

As soon as she looks up at me, her eyes big and glassy, I lean down and kiss her. Her lips are warm despite her cold hands gripping my own and as soon as she pulls back, I swear.

“Fuck. I’m sorry-” I didn’t even ask! God, I'm an asshole and now I'm completely stuck. Would I die if I ran outside and hid in the woods?

But she doesn’t look mad. She looks… pleased? Her hand slips out of my reach and moves to the side of my neck, “Don’t be.”

And then she kisses me. I think I blackout because I have no clue how long we’ve been kissing but I do know that I'm now completely defrosted and warm.

“You okay?” I whisper as Y/n pulls away.

She nods, “Thanks for kissing me.”

I laugh, “You’re very welcome. Thanks for kissing me back.”

She smiles again backs up a bit, fiddling with her rings, “So… was that just a thanksgiving thing or a way to warm up or…?”

I’m smiling big now, moving my hands under her jacket as she squirms because of the temperature, “I’ve been waiting for that to happen so if you limit me to once a year, i’ll be pretty sad.”

She nods, biting back a smile, “Good to know!” She slips away from me and pulls off her jacket, sitting in a seat and pulling her blanket around her shoulders.

I slowly walk so I’m in front of her again. She’s smiling at the floor, motioning me to come sit, “There’s one more thanksgiving tradition I do every year.”

She pulls out her ipad and scoots closer to me, I feel like i’m dreaming. “And that is…?”

She clears her throat, still avoiding eye contact.

“The Thanksgiving episode of Gossip Girl!” She starts rattling on about the backstories and starts the episode but i’m still stuck on her face and how her eyes won’t meet mine.

“Y/n…” I say it softly, bringing my hand to her chin and turning her face to look at me. She’s blushing. I don’t think I've ever seen her blush.

“Mhm?” She sounds like a mouse.

I brush her wet hair out of her face and press a soft kiss against her cheek, “I really like thanksgiving.” She just smiles and nestles into my side, my arm around her.

She lets me have some of the blanket and whispers, “I really do too.”

[copperbadge]

saw the sandwich post. i've worked at 2 different big chains in 3 different cities and you have no idea how correct you are. it's ubiquitous. i don't know what it is about poultry that is feminine but it is deemed so which makes you gay if uou order turkey i guess.

i consider myself an expert in sandwich gender science and i still don't know where tuna salad lies on the spectrum. i hesitate even to speculate.

I received this a while ago (sorry, I need to make a post about how September and October regularly murder my ability to socialize) but I've been thinking about the tuna salad question ever since. I've put it to several people I know who are familiar with the sando gender spectrum and got wildly divergent categorizations and theories.

I'm inclined to think that because it has the word "salad" in it, it's automatically gendered towards the femme end of the spectrum, but among the specific subset of Dudes Who Have Sandwich Gender Issues I also know that tuna fishing is considered quite macho because tuna are large fish, and tuna salad is primarily meat and mayo, which as we have discussed is (outside of barbecue sauce, testing pending) the most masculine of condiments.

As an aside, I had a number of people question my thesis that mayo is seen as more masculine than mustard, and my only explanation for this is that a) American mustard isn't that spicy, negating the machismo of eating something painful, and b) mustard is considered European and therefore effeminate. As a man who used to run a blog about mustard, I understand this sentiment may draw ire.

In any case, it does appear that tuna salad is a floating question mark. We're unlikely to ever serve it at the food tent -- we didn't even serve sandwiches with mayo on them this year because we were worried about food poisoning, and when you throw fish into the mix it just becomes more perilous. I leave it to the brave beings who run the delis and sandwich shops across this great nation of ours to continue to engage in the dangerous business of santhropology in the hopes one day our findings might be of value to the world.

[hurtspideyparker]

An Unexpected Irondad Christmas 🎄

Peter was having a very boring Christmas.

May was working a 12 hour shift, all his friends were busy with their families, and the streets were too quiet to patrol.

It seems even criminals have a conscious.

While the presents under the tree were strictly off limits, May did let him open his stocking on his own. Therefore his special Christmas breakfast included a hot chocolate bomb and microwavable bacon, his lunch a festive green and red gummy bear salad, and dinner... he was honestly a bit sick of sweets, so box mac and cheese it was.

Peter is browsing channels for a good Christmas special while the water boils when a knock booms through the apartment.

Peter frowns, remote hanging limply in his hand while he tries to recall if he's expecting someone. Sometimes Ms. Hacket from down the hall gets lonely and comes for tea.

The knock sounds again, more impatiently, and Peter sets the remote down to answer the door.

He opens it a crack and then freezes.

"Mr. Stark?"

He's in a nice coat, long and black with a collar and three buttons. His hair is fluffed up with specks of white, and his dark sunglasses have droplets of water from the melted snow.

"Hey kid. Merry Christmas. Or Hanukkah. Or... whatever. Happy holidays."

Peter opens the door more fully now. He can see that Mr. Stark is holding something, several plastic bags stuffed heavily.

"Merry Christmas to you too. Um, I didn't get you a gift or anything, was I supposed to?"

Tony looks down at the bags in his hands like he forgot they existed.

"Oh. No, definitely not. This is a funny story actually. Y'know, I have this big Christmas dinner at the tower every year, beautifully catered food, all my friends around a big table, Pepper makes this delicious coffee cake for dessert. We drink, stuff our faces, the more drunk of us sing stupid holiday songs. It was really nice actually, considering most of us don't have families to do that stuff with."

He looks wistful, eyes not in the present.

"That... sounds really nice Mr. Stark," Peter says when Tony spends too much time lost in thought.

"Yeah. Well, the band broke up this year, all my friends are gone, or hate me, or both. Pepper's in Florida with her parents, who also hate me, especially because of all the on-again-off-again stuff, so I definitely wasn't welcome there. Rhodey can't travel with his injuries. And I—" he breaks off into a laugh, hysterical and whining, "forgot to cancel the catering order!"

Peter stares at him with wide eyes. The man only falls further into laughter, but the glisten in his eyes is anything but joyful.

Eventually he calms, straightening up and showing off the bags in his hands, "I have so much food, really nice, expensive, well done food for a big family of super humans and spies, and I'm completely alone! I even offered Happy a Christmas bonus to stay and eat turkey but apparently he actually has family—"

"You bribed Happy?"

"Christmas. Bonus."

He holds out the bags to Peter, "anyways. You're a growing boy, your aunt seems hardworking. You guys deserve nice food so. Here. You take it."

Peter's hands hesitate to reach out but Tony simply dumps the bags into his twitching palms anyways, the boy nearly dropping them from the unexpected handoff.

"It's untouched. There's turkey, ham, ribs, three types of potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, extra gravy for Nata—uh, feta bites, balsamic glazed carrots, peas, corn, stuffing, fresh baked rolls... you get the idea. Just didn't want the food to go to waste and I know your aunt can't cook to save her life so. Actually, where is she? Should probably be an adult and say hello."

Peter stares in amazement and intimidation at the bags in his hands. He can now see they're full of food containers, dozens of them.

"She's not home. Holiday pay is pretty good so she's at work."

Tony takes his sunglasses off, blinking at the kid.

"Oh. So you're alone? That's depressing."

Peter has to bite his tongue so he doesn't point out the older man's much lonelier, much more depressing predicament.

"Yep. I don't mind that much, I'll see her later tonight and open presents. I've just been watching movies. And thank you so much for all this food Mr. Stark, you didn't have to think of me."

"It's no problem, really."

They both stand there for a moment. Tony looks around as if the chips in the door frame are paintings at Le Louvre, and Peter stares at the man with his awkward posture and red marked hands from carrying all the heavy food.

"Did—did you want to come in?"

"I suppose I could spare a few minutes," Tony answers without delay, shoving past Peter into his home.

Continue reading on AO3 ☃️

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

Which One Piece Characters Are Coming to the Cookout?

tags: headcanons, black!reader, gn!reader

notes. i'm not accepting critiques because i'm not wrong in any of my assessments. we all know these people would be there. i was up late for no reason thinking about this and decided to make it tumblr's problem. keeping it light for my first one piece hc post but i'll be making more

usopp

this nigga's one of us, this is a no question. this is his birthright

you don't see us questioning piccolo and the namekians at the black history month dinner, we don't question shit with usopp

bro belongs here

is most popular with all the younger cousins because of all of his stories

your older cousins are asking sniper king what his wash day routine is because his hair is amazing and we all know it

ace, sabo, luffy

ace and luffy were raised by dadan so these niggas are culturally black. sabo may have been raised by her to a lesser extent than his brothers, but he still was in that house so he gets to come too

the only problem luffy's ass would encounter is that he eat too damn much and he'll steal off someone's plate, so keep an eye on your man and he'll be fine

luffy also knows how to party. it's a challenge when one of the uncles go "you don't know nothin' bout this right here, young buck"

it's the same for ace. he grew up hearing dadan play mary j blige and roberta flack when she cleaned sunday morning so he's getting up the moment he hears someone playing word up

sabo and his top hat would get some eyebrow raises when he shows up but when he shows he knows something about some turkey necks and collard greens, they will be revoking their sneaky ass comments

ace and sabo would be particularly popular with your relatives who want you to hurry up and tie the knot. they help with your wash days, are polite and are very handsome. you will be a hearing a "if it don't work between y'all please give me a call" or two

all three of them will probably keep you at the function longer than you expected for various reasons from 'saying goodbye' and staying an additional 40 minutes to 'okay we gotta stay for cameo, they're playing get down on it!'

sanji

this white boy can cook much to the surprise of your extended family, so hell yeah he gets to come

your family gave you the side eye when you told them sanji would be bringing a dish thinking it was going to be potato salad with raisins and a dash of paprika but bro came with a huge ass bowl of banana pudding and the pudding was made from scratch

he's solidified his place in ensuring he is always invited to a function your family throws

your aunts love that he helps during your wash days, something you bragged about endlessly before you brought him to meet everyone

sadly sanji, like the asl brothers, will continuously fall victim to the "alright we leavin' y'all" but then you end up staying an extra hour because he's too busy yapping it up with all your aunties

you practically have to drag him back to the car

law

you already know your cousins are going to be all over this man based on the energy he exudes alone

"oh he a doctor? so he got money" someone's gonna say it at least once

he mostly sits to himself, more content to watch your family have a good time than interact exceedingly with everyone which may make him come off as standoffish but he really is just happy seeing everyone around him be happy

losing his family at a young age, he's happy to be pulled into yours even if his rbf may make others think otherwise

but all the mysterious aura goes out the window when someone jokes he probably can't play ball and suddenly your family is seeing a different side of him that is childish, competitive and amusing

jinbe/any fishman

automatic invitations by virtue of birthright. it's the same shit with the namekians, they're one of us so they get to come. they are with us on juneteenth

if anything, jinbe IS the uncle going "you don't know nothin' 'bout this right here" the moment the spinners, carl carlton or george duke comes on

[blissfullyecho]

My Skinny Tips for the Holidays

If you’re in the US, Thanksgiving is this week and next month begins all the holiday parties and events for Christmas, Hanakkuh, Kawanzaa, and all other winter holidays that will include a ton of processed and sugary foods, seasonal coffee’s and fun drinks, and alcohol.

A note for the dieting police out there: Don’t even try it with me.

How I Manage the Holidays + My Body

So generally during November and December, I eat very clean (except for the holidays). I allow myself a Thanksgiving plate with everything (literally everything), dessert, sugary fun drinks/alcohol, and leftovers. This is the same thing I do with Christmas dinner as well. I don’t limit what I eat on the actual holidays, but the other days I do.

How I Eat on Non-Holiday Days

So like I said, I eat very clean in Nov and Dec because I know it’s going to get crazy on Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. So I stick to eating mostly vegetables, soup, and lean protein. I actually stop drinking smoothies this time because I’d rather eat my protein than drink it so I’m not feeling hungry so soon. I get hungry faster when I drink a smoothie than I do with actually eating, so I eat more (just sticking with veggies, soup, and lots of lean protein). I do cut back heavily on bread, rice, and pasta; but my main source of carbs comes from fruit, sweet potatoes, and corn (corn is carb-heavy). I also cut OUT added sugars. I read the label on everything. 0g of added sugar is what I get. Like I said, I still indulge on whatever I want during the actual holiday meal which are things loaded in sugar, so I cut back for the month. And for everyone saying “it’s restricting” … babe, respectfully, shut up. Cutting out added sugar that does nothing for you except make you crash, bloated, ruin your gut lining, decrease collagen production, can increase your A1C (diabetes risk), and turns straight to fat is not restricting. You’re gonna have that stuff on the holidays— you can cut it out for 3 weeks, I promise.

Managing Holiday Office Parties & Community Events

I still enjoy the office potlucks and other mini events because I usually reach for the protein options instead or the veggie options. I’ll have the turkey, the ham, the deviled eggs (deviled eggs hate to see me coming), the cranberry chicken salad, etc. I still enjoy myself, I’ll just not have the pumpkin pie, the Mac and cheese, the stuffing, etc. because I’m saving that for my actual Thanksgiving/Christmas meal. Also… I do not trust other people cooking for me unless I’m there watching things happen. I don’t know what goes on at your house lol.

… But what if Paula from HR brought in her world famous (insert sugary, fatty, super processed, but super yummy food here)?

I’m most definitely going to have something if it’s something I can’t get anywhere else. If there is something that I know looks good (or is actually good) and I’m not gonna have it at my Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, then I’ll have some. I don’t say no because it’s not part of my “diet”. There’s this girl I used to work with and she would bring in these cheesy, turkey, apple, and cranberry sliders. They were SO GOOD. I would have 1 slider and then load up on the celery and other veggies or fruit.

Alcohol

I’m not drinking alcohol unless it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or NYE. That’s just a no go for me. When I drink, I like to drink socially. But there’s 3 days for the rest of the year where I’m going to be drinking all night, so I don’t have any alcohol unless it’s the day of the holiday.

Bring in a healthy side option

For my office potluck, I’m making a fruit bowl, a veggie plate, and a large charcuterie board. My work bestie and I will prob be the only ones picking off of the veggie plate, but at least we do have options to load up on in case Paula from HR brings in that delicious yummy option and we want a full plate of food like everyone else.

If I’m going to have it on Thanksgiving or Christmas, I’m not going to have it anywhere else (unless it’s protein)

I will skip the sweet potato casserole and the macaroni and cheese because I’m going to have it on my Thanksgiving and Christmas. Again, I don’t care for home cooking unless I was there watching you cook for me (or if you’re a cute old lady or a grandma, I trust them so much). But the point is, I’m not going to have 8 Thanksgiving dinners this month. I’ll have one with my family and that’s it. I’m not even doing a Friendsgiving this year (but that’s only because we’re all traveling or working). But the main reason we gain weight during the holidays isn’t because we have a treat or two, it’s because we are having a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal every 2 seconds.

What’s on my Thanksgiving/Christmas plate?

I eat whatever I want, but I’ll only have a plate and a slice of dessert. I don’t get seconds or thirds. I’m a one plate girly and that’s it but I load my plate with everything and I give myself solid amounts. I don’t put tiny scoops of anything on my plate. I’d rather have food on my plate that I can’t finish rather than me cleaning my plate because I didn’t put enough of anything on there and still feeling hungry and restricted. I want to enjoy myself with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas isn’t the time to feel restricted. For dessert, I’ll have a slice of a dessert. This year I’m being told we’re having pumpkin pie and Dutch apple pie, which are both my favorites. So I’m going to have HALF a slice of pumpkin pie and HALF a slice of the apple pie and it’ll equal to one full slice. With alcohol, I’m always drinking water. I actually drink water with my meal and drink alcohol around the meal. I personally like to stick to red wine.

How do I handle leftovers?

My family likes to give the kids (which would be me, my sibling, and our cousins) the leftovers so we can take it home. I try to take most of the protein, green bean casserole (my all-time fav omg), and deviled eggs (my grandmother makes the best, it’s impossible to beat her tbh) whereas my sibling and our cousins like to take the macaroni, garlic mash, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and the other foods.

Exercise

I’m exercising everyday. Even on Thanksgiving and Christmas I’m exercising. I have my own routine but on Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’ll also be doing a hot (plump) girl walk after my meals to help my food digest. But even on my rest days, I’m doing active recovery.

The whole month isn’t a holiday.

I think you just have to manage the holidays by reminding yourself that’s it’s not Christmas or Thanksgiving everyday. You don’t need a full Christmas or Thanksgiving plate each day. Still enjoy the fun Starbucks drinks or Kelly from the marketing department’s apple pie, but order the tall Starbucks and not the grande or venti. Have a slice of the pie and not 1/3 of the pie. Don’t eat the candy on the table that you don’t really care for but it’s within reach so you eat it anyway. Save that for something you actually do like.

…And for anyone who is going to rage type a weird message saying I’m promoting anything unhealthy, please save yourself the time.

Happy Holidays! 🤍

✨ My new book “The Luxe Girl’s Playbook” is available now (this is the link). It’s about going into 2025 a brand new, leveled up version of yourself mentally and how you can make everyone that doubted you absolutely sickkkkk. It’s the mental diet we all need. It’ll be unavailable mid-December 2024 🫶🏼

[petite-anni]

💜meals and health💜

The struggle of having meals that taste good, increase your bodies health and also drop fat is real.

1. a real breakfast

I’ll die with this. Breakfast is a must.

Start your morning with fruit, veggies some carbs and protein. That’s how you stay full over the day and get vitamins and nutrients in right away.

You can also add cucumbers, mint, lemon or lime into your water for the same affect.

You start your day good, it’ll motivate you and bring you energy. Your mood will lighten up and you feel energetic to go about your daily schedule.

My favorite breakfast will forever be porridge, with one banana and fruit. On the side a hot green or camomile tea.

1. lunch or no lunch

Im not huge about 3 meals a day. I eat when I’m hungry. Wether you have a light snack, such as rice cakes, yoghurt, veggies, fruit or have a full meal is really up to you. Just make sure it’s worth the calories and is nutritious.

I usually enjoy chia pudding (put chia seeds in milk/water and a bit of yoghurt with banana or other fruit) or go for a real lunch, when I feel like cooking.

Meals with cabbage, veggies, salad, chicken, turkey, eggs or potato’s are ideal.

When I really go for chicken or any kind of meat, I make sure to use little to no oil or remove it when it’s cooking.

3. dinner

This is important, because with an empty stomach I can not fall asleep.

Dinner is either creatively put together or keep it simple. Normally, I have something that I really enjoy eating. Just keeping out fats and heavy foods that keep you up at night or get you bloated.

I avoid pasta and pizza.

Rice is a go but you gotta measure it smartly, because it can be a calorie bomb.

Potato’s are a go at anytime. They keep you full fast and long and they are low in calorie. Also, have some veggies. It’s actually that simple.

4. hard truth

You ate too much? You work it off and compensate for it.

You can’t expect to be lighter and slimmer the next morning magically.

Be disciplined. Work for what you want to achieve. You body deserves good treatment.

You can achieve anything, just have faith and be patient while you work on your discipline🙏🏻💓

[stupidvillainousposts]

Some Werewolf Gene AU Stuff for the Holiday but It's Mostly Stuff I Thought was Funny on an Empty Stomach

Note: This is pre-Ford returning

Fidds: *Accidentally Cuts His Finger While Welding* AGH! FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW!

Stan: *Immediately Beginning to Undress* I mean, if that's what ya really want.

---------------------------------

Mabel: Grunkle Stan! Can me and Dipper go get a turkey with Soos?

Stan: Kids, you know the rule about going into town.

Dipper: But you and Grunkle Fidds go into town almost every day!

Stan: Yeah, at night. And even then we try to stay hidden.

Soos: Mr. Dad-

Stan: Not your dad.

Soos: Mr. Pines, would you feel better if they, like, wear hoodies so their ears are covered? They could wear long shirts to hide their tails.

Stan: *Glares at Soos for a Second* The instant my ears pick up any type of screaming, I'm gonna look for and ground all three of you.

-------------------------------

Fidds, while basting the turkey: Stanley, honey, could ya do me a favor and check on the pies?

Stan: Sure, I got nothin' better to do. *Walks up to the Oven and Opens the Oven Door*

Soos, entering the shack without warning: Do I smell apple pie?

Stan: Soos? What are you doing here?

Mabel, happily: Soos is here?!

Dipper: Is he staying for Thanksgiving dinner?

Stan: Kids, Thanksgiving is a family holiday, remember?

Fidds: I dunno, Oats, we've known Soos since he was a youngin'. Don'tcha think that makes him one of us?

Stan: *Groans Before Closing the Oven* Fine, but you don't count as a kid. Only the pups get to break the wishbone.

Soos: Ooh, I can't wait to see who wins!

----------------------------

Mabel: *Frowns at the Potato Salad on Her Plate* Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Fidds, I don't like potato salad.

Stan: What? Since when?

Mabel: Since always! The ingredients don't go good together for me.

Dipper: I'll eat it.

Stan: No, you won't. Pumpkin, eat the potato salad or no pie.

Fidds: Oats, don't be grumpy. She don't have t' eat somethin' she don't like. 'sides, Dipper offered t' eat it, so it won't be wasted!

Soos: Yeah, Mr. Dad-

Stan: Not your dad.

Soos: Yeah, Mr. Pines! I know my grandma doesn't like it when I don't eat food because it ends up getting tossed out, and that's something we really can't afford. But at least someone's offering to eat it for Mabel.

Everyone Else: *Silently Take in Soos' Statement*

Stan: Alright, fine. Give Dipper the stuff.

Mabel: Can I still get pie?

Fidds: Of course, darlin'.

Mabel: WHOO!

-----------------------------

Mabel: I'm thankful for my family.

Dipper: I'm thankful for our shack.

Fidds, hugging Stan: I'm thankful for my darlin' sweetheart.

Stan, blushing: Yeah, ditto I guess.

Soos: I'm thankful that we didn't miss the Peanuts Thanksgiving Special!

Everyone Else: *Enthusiastic Agreement*

[koichiadachi]

Happy Thanksgiving! Here’s a little treat of what I think each of the Ichigang would make!

Kasuga: He’s in charge of Mac and cheese…. Homeboy just went and bought some Kraft. Somehow managed to burn it? Thankfully Zhao and Joongi are there to save the day. Wanted to cook the Turkey originally, but that meant him using a deep fryer and the gang didn’t feel like calling the fire department

Kiryu: Isn’t quite sure what to make/bring. So he decides something basic, making some good old fashion rolls. Not only can this man cook up a fine dish of kickass, he also makes amazing bread and rolls

Nanba: He’s making a salad, from what everyone can expect: random plants found across the city. It looks somewhat edible. Atleast he bought the salad dressing

Adachi: Just alcohol. That’s it. Might bring some corn in a can and call it a day.

Saeko: She’s making some pies. Pumpkin pie and apple pie. Spends all morning making sure the lacing on the apple pie is perfect. She would definitely serve the women first before letting the men fight over slices

Zhao: I think the most obvious one, he’s in charge of the turkey! Man spends atleast 3 hours just prepping it to be baked

Joongi: Has his own secret gravy recipe he spent years perfecting. Refusing to let anyone see him make it, nor even Soenhee (though she might try to the Geomijul technology to spy). Also offers to steam all the veggies

Seonhee: Cranberry Sauce. She have the perfect recipe for making it (definitely didn’t use the Geomijul to help find the perfect ingredients). Takes a lot of pride in this sauce, Joongi might be jealous how much she’s praising her cooking over his

Eri: Eri is a pro at cornbread! Has Omlette assist her in making the tasty bread. Using fresh eggs, and the fanciest corn she feeds Omlette. This cornbread is one the group will be begging her to make again

Tomi: He’s doing the stuffing. Has a few good recipes from various people he’s given rides to. He decides to make a few batches and see which one the group likes the best.

Chitose: Chitose is doing some fine mashed potato’s! The guys have annoyed her, once again. So what better way to get her anger out that beating up some potato’s. Just the right about of seasonings, everyone is definitely getting seconds

[rainyfestivalsweets]

9/6/24

Still on phase 2 of hcg diet.

Not perfect, but progressing nonetheless.

Currently on Day 4, 2.4 pounds down for this round.

Walk/run with the dogs yesterday, about 1.5 miles. Needed the sunshine and figured the dogs could use the fresh air too.

But storytime--- afternoon:

I took 2 giant mugs of tea to my niece's cross country meet. I am trying to make sure I support her school functions too- not just the boys football. Just because our society deems women less valuable doesn't mean I should. *I* want her to grow up to know she is loved and valued beyond, so that when she comes of age and gets into relationships, she knows better than to settle for the stupid shit I have settled for. 2 apparent narcs. 1 great gf, but celibacy.

Anyway, I arrive just in time to see her cross the finish line like a freaking stud cupcake!!! Great timing. I visit with her and her momma a little bit and we prepare to leave.

My 2nd mug of tea is still too warm to drink so I left the lid off trying to get it to cool off a bit. I have a great idea and add some of the sf smores coffee syrup to it & hop into my vehicle.

I decide to drive to the bathrooms because I parked goofy and am having trouble getting out the other way. I start driving in this parking lot and SPILL THE MUG OF TEA ALL OVER MY LAP.

Fuck!! It burns!

I catch it, set it upright, look to find a parking spot and SPILL IT AGAIN.

Dammit.

I wanted that tea!!!

But also- it is HOT and now all over my lap AND my car. Shit shit shit and I have no towels or anything to wipe it up with.

The walk of shame to the bathrooms as I appear to have pissed myself. 😤 I checked for burns and was ok... but now discombobulated and very sticky. Now my car smells like a s'more.

The night got a little weird from there. I am in a weird headspace. I go to TJ Maxx because traffic is awful, and I wanted to pick up more ginseng.

I did a quick shop and got back to the car because I have to get back to work when I get home.

But! I forgot to take my Nomorbidity, which I normally take in the early afternoon, so I am hungrier than normal.

I had a burger salad with my meal prepped turkey and pork mix, and went back for more meat because I was still... hungry, hankering? Unsatisfied? Something.

I also had 2 hard candies, sf lemon from dollar tree, and 2 sf popsicles while mom and I watched unfrosted. And an orange, which is allowed.

So... while the day threw me for a loop, I did ok. And boom, today is my lightest weigh in.

I am working on keeping going, I am so close to my ultimate goals. Keep going keep going keep going!! 💪

[itstokkii]

Tomato Red

in which turkey pays uzbekistan a visit. summer 2023

"It's getting hot, can't we go in for a break or something?" Sadik wiped some sweat off his forehead. He had hoped they'd spend some quality time in Nargiza's living room, watching some Turkish dramas in her living room under the merciful air conditioning.

Instead, he was out in her gardens helping her pick crops in the merciless 40 degree weather in Uzbekistan.

"Sadik, we've just started. All you have to do is fill the bucket halfway with tomatoes and cucumbers while I check on the rest of the plants and pick the basil leaves. Besides, you wanted to see me cook, right? The other foods are ready, and this is the final step," She didn't spare a glance at him, instead tending to her rose bushes. How cruel...!

He had to admit, having a whole house instead of an apartment definitely had its perks. Her house, like so many others he saw while driving to her address, had a gigantic gate, and was walled up on all 4 sides. When she let him in, he was greeted by the sight of wires holding up vines of sweet, ripe grapes. There were 2 plots of land on each side of the entranceway to her house, with pomegranate trees on one plot, and apricot trees on the other. Among her crops, she had tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplants, and bell peppers.

So she definitely saved on grocery bills, huh?

As the tomatoes and cucumbers piled up on his basket, he took a few glances at her. She was watering some plants that were beginning to shrivel a little.

It was kind of weird to see her in an informal setting. He always got used to seeing her in pantsuits. Now, she was in a matching dress and trouser set, a scarf tying her long hair back. She looked a little...cute? Domestic? He couldn't describe the feeling.

Feeling her eyes on him, he whipped his head back and picked the last crop.

‎‧₊˚✧[🇹🇷🇺🇿]✧˚₊‧

Glad to be in the kitchen, Sadik sought refuge as he watched Nargiza thinly chop the tomatoes and cucumbers he picked. He noticed a bowl of onions soaked in water next to him.

"What's that for?"

"We don't want the onion's flavor to be too strong in the salad."

He chuckled a bit at that.

After everything was chopped, she strained the onions, added them into the mix, and seasoned it with salt before plating the finished salad.

"You sit down in the living room. I'll bring the food." She affectionately?? shooed him as she focused on the plov and somsa she showed Sadik how to prepare throughout the day, plating those as well and carefully bringing them to the table.

In the meantime, he was flipping through channels and trying to make out what the news reporter was saying about the approval of a new set of apartment buildings to be constructed in Tashkent.

‎‧₊˚✧[🇹🇷🇺🇿]✧˚₊‧

"I cannot believe she just told him all that!" She gasped in shock as they both watched the climax of the Turkish drama they were watching. "You can't trust bad boys like him!"

"He literally kissed her once, that doesn't make him the bad boy archetype?" He looked at her, chuckling at her idea of what a "bad boy" was.

"Wait, they kissed? When did that happen?" She sipped on her black tea.

Oh right. Censorship. "Way back in episode 7. They were like, throwing themselves on top of each other. The broadcasters probably cut that scene out here."

"And for good reason! We can't be influencing the youth negatively like that–"

He gently grabbed her wrist and brought it to his lips.

"I–! Wha–!" Nargiza let out a string of stammers, her face becoming redder than the embroidered pomegranate cushion next to her.

She buried her face into it as he laughed. "You're as red as the tomatoes! But it's ok, 'cause red is my favorite color~"

"SADIK!" Her voice was muffled through the cushion.

He could stay here for a while. He didn't mind the Uzbek summer heat anymore.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Notes: tagging @billowingangel since i know you wanted to see their dynamic! i hope you enjoy!

also, i suck at description, but the house and gardens are based off of close and distant relatives' homes back in uzbekistan! uzbek homes truly are something else...

[whoreforharlow]

Chilling around a open fire maybe surrounded but his friends and it’s once of the first time she’s meeting his friends

Unspecfied mmc, can be either Jack or Urban

"What? Too much?" You ask, feeling mildly embarrassed and shy under his gaze. He had invited you to meet his friends for the first time, a little kick back one of them was hosting at a clearing by the creek on the outskirts of Louisville. According to him, it's where they used to go all the time as teens in highschool and that it was totally safe. You on the other hand, a city girl to your core, was a bit more skeptical of being out in the middle of Nowhere, Kentucky—the large can of bear-be-gone held in his hand a testament of just that.

"I've been going there for years, I don't even think bears live around there." He chuckles, turning the can around to examine it.

"Listen, it's better to be safe than sorry." You shrug. "My girls are gonna clown me at my funeral if I get mauled by a bear." You exaggerate, knowing your city friends are already confused by your frequent trips to the Midwest, emphasizing that nothing good ever happens out in the country.

"There are no bears, baby. You watch too many movies." He dismissed your dramatics.

"Movies? Is that what we're calling the News now?" You retort, making him chuckle.

"And all this?" He asks, changing the subject, gesturing to the several platters that you were currently wrapping in plastic wrap and foil.

"What? You think I was gonna trust a group of white boys to put together a cookout? Sorry, but no. I'm not eating chips and grocery store turkey sandwiches." You shake your head, looking at the spread you had put together.

Truthfully, you had spent the day stress cooking at his apartment, the thought of meeting his friends giving you major anxiety and you wanted to make a good first impression. He had stepped out for a few hours, a last minute work engagement he needed to take care of before he could have the rest of the day off, returning to see his island filled with everything he could imagine, even though he had insisted everything would be taken care of. You were always taught not to show up empty handed, and perhaps you had gone a bit overboard, but who could get mad at too much food?

"I'm sure they've put something together, baby." He says as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you as he placed a kiss to your neck. "They're gonna love you, ya know?" He knew you well enough to to know when you were anxious, and he knew that feeling wouldn't leave until you finally crossed that bridge.

"You keep saying that, but what if they don't?" Your voice was small as you put the lid on the deviled egg tray, twisting to lock it in place. "These are your people, babe. They mean a lot to you." You look up at him with worried eyes.

"You're my person. You mean a lot to me." He reassured you, placing a soft kiss on your lips. Your heart swelled at his words, he always knew how to make you feel better.

"Alrighty, Smush, let's get this stuff in the cooler and into the car. Oh, and don't let me forget the cake in the fridge!" You tell him, grabbing the deviled eggs and potato salad.

"You made a cake too?!"

"It's ice box cake, it's nothing." You brush off his surprise, causing him to shake his head at you with a smile.

—

The two of you pull into a small make shift parking space on the grass, the two of you having driven down a dirt path off the main road for about 10 minutes, your anxiety shooting up as you kept glancing at your phone to make sure you still had cell service.

"Relax, babe, it's alright." He grabbed your hand over the console and give it a squeeze before leaning over to place a quick kiss to your lips. When you pulled away, you saw two tall guys walking towards your car, both in white beaters and strange patterned shorts. You get down from the car, greeting the two of them and introducing yourself as you slung your tote bag over your shoulder. The four of you unloaded the car and walked down the slight hill to the clearing where you could hear music playing.

To your unsurprise, there was only one white fold out table and a grocery store sandwich platter and several bags of assort chips. You turn around to eye your boyfriend, giving him your best "I told you so" face, before turning around feeling confident in your choice to bring real food, as your grandmama would call it.

When you had arrived to the table, it had already been cleared by his friend with the arrow tattoo, the bags of chips haphazardly thrown on top of one of the coolers to make space for what you had brought. You gestured for your boyfriend to place the potato salad and macaroni salad down next to the deviled eggs and baked beans that you had placed before him. His other friends each carrying a tray in one arm as they both held one end of the cooler between them. They placed the corn cobs and green beans on the remaining space of the table, plopping the cooler on the ground near the table before peeking inside to see the fresh watermelon you had sliced up and the s'mores ice box cake.

You felt a hand on your lower back as you were introduced to a group of about 15 people, their names kind of lost on you as they all spoke over each with praise and thanks, specifically hearing one of the girls scold her boyfriend, saying "I told you we should have brought something." You giggled lightly, shyly thanking them for their kind words as you cuddled into your boyfriend's side.

Thankfully there was already paperware, so everyone was able to help themselves to what you had brought, collective moans from everyone as they dug into the delicious food. You took a moment to look around you, seeing some people sitting in beach chairs, some sitting on coolers or upside down crates, some sitting on the picnic blanket that was set up under an umbrella. Naturally, the girls had set off to sit under the umbrella, insisting that delicate feminine skin should not be subjected to the harsh summer sun. You didn't have the heart to object to that logic, sending your boyfriend off with a generous schmearing of sunblock, a kiss, and a slap on the ass.

You were glad to have broken off into the smaller group, getting a thorough run down on every single one of the guys, the ladies leaving no piece of information out. By the end of it you knew everything, about everyone, including your own boyfriend. Granted, none of the information was concerning, more so information to tease him about later on.

As the sun began to set a bit, you and the ladies decided to come out from under the umbrella, joining the guys who were currently trying to use the watermelon juice to make some kind of vodka cocktail. You went over to your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his waist as you leaned up to kiss him, the taste of chocolate from the ice box cake still lingering on his lips making you plant a few more. He giggled at your antics, the two of you lost in your own world as you heard someone gushing over how cute you two were.

The two of you heard some clamoring from behind you, two of the guys stacking some logs in the middle of a circle made of stones. You two walked over to one of the beach chairs, wanting to guarantee a seat as you sat on his lap, his hand across your lap securing you to him, yours in his hair, the two of you watching as they got the fire started.

"Have fun today?" You heard him whisper to you, you nodded to him with a smile.

"I like your people, they're nice." You compliment. "I also didn't need to use the bear spray, so that's a plus." You joke, making him roll his eyes at your dramatics.

Read more

[mariacallous]

When people ask what I’m doing for Christmas this year, I’ve been replying, with not a little bit of glee, that we are “going nowhere and entertaining nobody”. The almost universal reaction is one of wistfulness, if not envy.

Taking the pressure off the festive season and choosing to please only yourselves is something many people fantasise about. Some people feel so hamstrung by responsibility to others (and dare I say it, perhaps are so used to that well-established feeling of Christmas martyrdom) that they never get the Christmas they secretly want.

Thankfully, my husband and I have no such qualms, and for our son’s third Christmas, we’ve decided to do what makes him happy and have it just the three of us. For his first, we hosted my mum, and his second was spent in my husband’s home town at a huge gathering of grandparents, aunties and cousins. Both were lovely, if not entirely stress-free. During the first Christmas, no one was sleeping; during the second, which included a potluck for which I made two massive nut roasts for more than 25 people, only my son was: outside in the pram, being pushed by me, while the food was being served. My sister-in-law took a photo of me through the window: I am standing in the rain, parka over my nice dress, holding a flute of champagne. “I know it’s not funny now, but you’ll laugh at this one day,” she said, and she was right, I did. Eventually.

Despite the challenges of parenting a small child, I have wonderful memories from these Christmases, and we are still seeing loved ones over the festive period, just not all in one go. In a way, this makes it easier. I know some people are heavily invested in everything being on the 25 December, but it’s never been that way in my family, and there’s something about a movable feast that makes everything a bit looser and more relaxed. My son got to see his paternal grandparents earlier in December, thus skipping the hell of train travel over the Christmas period (I’m still haunted by our return journey via Coventry last year, which was spent in a vestibule), and celebrated with his nonna on the solstice. This spreads out the relatives and makes it less overwhelming for our toddler.

I know not everyone’s family are as understanding as ours, who have been happy with this arrangement. My dad, in particular, was almost insistent that we do our own thing and see him, my stepmum and my brothers at a quieter time – perhaps remembering his own days parenting young children, and the tug-of-war between the grandparents, which would have involved driving to opposite ends of the country. Like me, he thinks it’s important to create your own traditions within your smaller family unit, and over the past few years we have started to do that. That 2020 Covid Christmas, while incredibly sad at times, in a funny way gave us – and I imagine many others – the breathing space we needed to think about how we wanted to celebrate on our own terms: such as what we ate and drank, what the day’s timings would be, and what we most wanted to get out of it.

Our traditions have evolved quite organically, and are mostly to do with food. On Christmas Eve, we have a huge glazed ham alongside a range of salads. My husband will make Diana Henry’s winter panzanella, alongside something like a halloumi, orange and green bean salad and Ottolenghi’s squash recipe from Jerusalem.

On Christmas Day, after my not-entirely-sane husband plunges himself into freezing cold water, we will eat a bird that isn’t turkey, usually duck breast, and often far later than planned. The next day, we chop up the ham and use it to make our Boxing Day carbonara, an invention of my mother’s that has become a mainstay. In between we drink martinis, listen to carols, watch telly and dance to the Ella & Louis Christmas album, which, incidentally, includes the best version of Baby, It’s Cold Outside (far from being a sexual harassment anthem, it’s really a 1940s in-joke about how much two people want to shag each other, as the audience laughter and knowing ad-libs make abundantly clear). Dancing with my son and seeing his sheer, uncontrollable excitement at the sight of the Christmas tree has already got me in the spirit.

There is, of course, a part of me that will miss what I have come to think of as the “Euston sprint” from concourse to platform, stumbling through a morass of harassed northerners, blue Ikea bags overflowing with presents, and small children. But not that much. Hardest of all will be not having a G&T with my mum during Nine Lessons and Carols on Christmas Eve. Whether we are together or apart, I always raise a glass to her, and I’ll cherish it all the more the next time we spend it together.

This time of year can be stressful, and so often we find ourselves staggering towards the day exhausted and overwhelmed. However you’re spending it, and even if you have obligations that are harder to negotiate than ours, I hope you find a moment this festive season to do something for yourself. It’s wonderful giving joy to others, but never at the complete expense of your own sanity.

[onboardsorasora]

Wanted to do a little holiday post for these idiots in love lmao

Part 1 | Part 30 | Part 32

Part 31

Blake stood by the door, eyes narrowed on the kitchen. He looked over to Mike who was looking just as dubiously. Ok good, so he wasn’t seeing things. Daniel was in the kitchen, in a ridiculous apron and a chef’s hat– where did he even get that?

“Do you need any help mate?” Mike asked hesitantly. Because this wasn’t a normal sight. Daniel’s prowess in the kitchen tended to end at the microwave. He was stood in front of the stove, so sue them for being worried.

“Nah, like I got it mate!” Daniel grinned over at his friends. He looked back to his phone, rereading the instructions again.

“Uhm, what’s even happening here?” Blake leaned on the counter top, concerned. He pointed to the random array of ingredients scattered about the place and the empty pot that was uncomfortably close to start smoking from being on the heat for too long.

“I’m making a turkey lunch for Max.” Daniel smiled proudly, before going back to his phone. They were distracting him!

“Danny, we don’t even celebrate–”

“Yeah but I figured– I just wanna do something nice for Max.” He muttered with a shrug. They were back in LA, only for a little while. Their flight to Dubai was tonight. It was thanksgiving week and well Max had never experienced the American holiday. Neither has Daniel truly, but he had figured it would have been a nice time to celebrate together. 

Blake and Micheal looked at each other before sighing, they wouldn’t fight him for wanting to do something for Max. But maybe they could help him?

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Blake asked again, more insistently this time.

“I think I got it, mate. I’ll just like follow this recipe.” Daniel didn’t look up from his phone, pinching his fingers on the screen to zoom in. Micheal had a bad feeling.

“...if you’re sure?” They watched as Daniel bobbed his head in a nod. “Ok we’ll be back in time to go.”

The two left, feeling very uneasy about leaving Daniel in the kitchen. Blake shot off a message to Max to keep an eye on him.

Max wandered into the kitchen area with wide eyes. He took everything in, and Daniel’s focus. We was endeared– but worried. The tone of Blake’s text wasn’t encouraging. He sat on the stool by the breakfast bar and rested his cheek in his palm.

“Hey baby!” Daniel greeted with a grin and sparkling eyes.

“Whatchya doin?” Max asked after Daniel leaned over to kiss him.

“I thought I'd make us a big lunch. Since it's like a food holiday here.” Daniel shrugged sheepishly. Max hummed.

“Have you ever like made turkey before?”

“No, but it can't be too hard right?”

Max shrugged back, along for the ride. At least if they got sick, they could push back the flight maybe. He hoped they didn't get sick.

He watched Daniel focus, chattering away when he wasn't paying close attention to his phone. Max also thought it was commendable of him when he said nothing when Daniel looked very panicked.

— - —

Max accepted the paper bag and thanked the delivery person. He plopped it gently on the breakfast bar and tore into the packaging while Daniel dropped the blackened seemingly still smoking turkey into the garbage. His apron was stained and a little charred and they both had learned how to turn off the smoke detector.

The small turkey didn't survive anything. It had burned on the outside and when Daniel tried to cut it to see if it was ok on the inside, they had found out that the bird was still very frozen. They had both collapsed to the floor in laughter. Eyes red and chests heaving. Then in that chaos, the water from the potatoes boiled out and the taters were also scorched. 

The only thing that was salvageable was the salad and they both had agreed that they weren’t going to waste a cheat day on a salad.

“Thank you Maxy.” Daniel called, packing the dishwasher while Max took out their food and plated it in the place Daniel had pre-prepared. Daniel plopped heavily onto the chair just as Max placed his plate down. He smiled at his boyfriend happily. So maybe things didn’t go according to plan, but he was still thankful that Max was in his life.