#and they're like you do have a track record of hating someone and then turning out to like them

[mcl4r3n]

.

[yoongiseesawmp3]

own my mind - san (m)

summary: part of the idol series. idol!san x producer!reader. san hates you, you're sure of it, and the feeling is pretty mutual. are these feelings true, or does he just need to spend some time getting to know you?

word count: 10.6k

warnings: smut. afab reader. oral (f and m receiving) unprotected sex w pull out method, don't do that. recording during sex, don't do that either.

masterlist

"so the practice rooms are down this hall," your new boss explains as he shows you around kq, "and over here are the boys' studios, but your's will be this way..."

you're trying to take it all in and simultaneously remember where all of the confusing hallways lead. kq may not look like much on the outside, but within it's basically a maze. you keep nodding and smiling as you follow your boss around, politely greeting anybody you encounter. he ends by bringing you into a conference room to finalize some paperwork, and after that you're on your own. you're officially the newest producer at kq, and...you have no idea what to do next.

you step out of the conference room and try your hardest to remember which direction leads back to the studios, but you also need coffee. you remember where the kitchen is, so you head that way as you text your friend jen. she recommended you for this job, and she promised she'd say hi on your first day. she's one of the make up artists for ateez, so she's always around, but her schedule is a little more frantic than yours. you understand if she doesn't answer right away, so you send the text and forget about it. you take a moment to yourself in the company kitchen as you try to figure out the coffee machine, letting your thoughts wander.

are you really cut out for this? it's your first day and you already feel overwhelmed. do they expect you to just go into your studio and start producing? what kind of tracks do they have planned for the next album? will the current producers even let you touch anything important, or will you have to prove yourself first? you're thinking about all this and more when someone bursts into the kitchen with a screech.

"Y/N!!!" jen yells as she scoops you into a hug. "you're here! it's finally happening!"

"this isn't very professional," you laugh as you hug her back. "you're helping me make a bad first impression."

"not possible, i've been talking about how great you are for months," she smiles. "they're gonna love you, seriously. i can't wait to hear what you make."

"what if i suck though?" you ask, but jen shakes her head.

"don't do that. no negativity on your first day."

"whatever."

"so what are you doing first?" she asks, taking the coffee you just brewed and having a sip for herself.

"dude, that was mine," you cry, and she hands it back to you with a half assed apology. "um, what am i doing first...well, i got confused on my welcome tour, so i guess i'll wander around until i figure out where my studio is."

"oh i can show you," jen brushes you off. "it's not that confusing, you just need to walk it all a few times. lots of doors, but you'll get the hang of it."

"do you want to make your own coffee, or can you show me around right now?" you ask as you finish doctoring up your mug.

"i can just have another sip of yours," she says as she reaches for it, but you hold it just out of reach as someone else walks in.

"hey jen," hongjoong greets her, his eyes falling to you next. "are you y/n? i've been summoned to help you get started."

"thank god," you sigh in relief. "i wasn't sure what to do, so i appreciate it. it's nice to meet you, finally."

"likewise," he smiles. "i'm a big fan of your work."

"really?" you feel yourself blush. "thank you. you were one of the reasons i started producing, so that means a lot."

"really?" now it's hongjoong's turn to blush. "well, that's...nice."

"great," jen claps her hands, easing over the awkward silence. "you can show y/n her studio and the two of you can keep gushing about how great you both are." she turns to you and puts her hands on your shoulders, giving you a playful shake. "you're gonna do great things here. be nice to yourself. and uhhh, go team!"

"thanks jen," you laugh as you wave goodbye, following a respectable distance behind hongjoong. he looks back to make sure he hasn't lost you and motions for you to come closer.

"no need to be shy," he tells you. "we'll need to be pretty comfortable with each other considering how close we'll be working together."

"how often will i be working with you?"

"mmm, every day maybe?" he thinks about it. "in the beginning at least. you'll shadow me for a few days to see how the studios run, and then you'll sort of report to me with whatever you're working on. hopefully we won't get tired of each other."

"i don't think that'll be an issue," you assure him. you catch the tips of his ears turning red and you smile to yourself. "so, what makes a good producer here?"

you watch in admiration as hongjoong explains the creativity and collaboration that makes kq work so well, and you kick yourself for getting distracted again. you were supposed to be watching your surroundings, keeping an eye out for where to go to find your studio, but you can't help it. in this moment, it hits you: you get to make music with one of your favorite producers for one of your favorite artists. you must be dreaming, right?

if this is a dream, you're knocked out of it abruptly. while you were watching hongjoong, you weren't watching where you were going, and you walked right into the human equivalent of a brick wall. you spill your coffee everywhere, but don't worry, most of it lands on the most handsome man you've ever seen in your entire life. you're currently staring at choi san, singer of ateez and one of your new coworkers. he's looking down at you, a little bit of shock in his eyes, and you rush to correct the situation.

"oh, shit, i'm sorry," you apologize. you look to hongjoong for help and he's running off to find napkins, leaving you with a very buff man in a soaking wet white t shirt. "i am so so sorry, really, here, let me try to-"

"don't worry about it," san takes a step back. he starts to walk away, but you follow behind him.

"at least let me-"

"i said don't worry about it," he tries again, his tone calm but his eyes tell a different story. he's glaring down at you, which makes your blood boil. he has a right to be mad at you for spilling coffee on him, but why's he pissed at you for trying to help clean him up?

"sure, go drip coffee all down the hallway then," you grumble as you brush past him. "i'll tell hongjoong to follow the trail when he comes back with your napkins."

"fine," san sighs, stopping where he stands. he throws his hands up and asks, "happy?"

"sure."

"who are you anyway?" he mumbles to himself, looking you up and down. you feel his eyes linger, and it makes goosebumps rise over your skin. you take that as a further sign that this guy is getting on your nerves.

"i'm y/n, i'm the new producer," you answer. "nice to meet you."

"you spill coffee on all of your coworkers, y/n?" he asks, and you roll your eyes.

"i said i was sorry-"

"here's hongjoong," san cuts you off. he reaches out for the napkins and smiles at his bandmate. "thanks man."

"so you've met y/n," hongjoong chuckles, trying to ease the tension. "she's really great, we're lucky to have her on the team." san doesn't reply, just nods and sends you a tightlipped smile as he dabs at his ruined t shirt. the fabric is basically translucent now, showing san's tan skin below and the definition of every single muscle. hongjoong clocks the way your eyes are trailing over san's torso and he clears his throat. "um, should we continue our tour?"

"yeah, sorry," you gesture for him to lead the way, and you hold san's gaze as you walk away. he's a dick, you think. that'll be fun.

-

"so is san always an asshole?" you yell over the loud music to jen as you follow her to a table. she insisted on taking you out for drinks to celebrate your first day, and after the morning you had, you need this.

"is he what?!" she shouts back.

"an asshole!"

"san?" she looks at you bewildered. "he's a sweetheart!"

"are we talking about the same guy?"

"are we?" jen questions as she finally pulls you to a table in the back. it's a little quieter back here, so you don't have to shout, but the music will still drown out your conversation so no one can eavesdrop. once you're both settled, she takes a sip of her drink and then, "spill."

"nothing to spill, i just think san is mean and i hate him," you say simply. "i spilled coffee on him, totally an accident, but he was a huge dick about it. wouldn't let me help him, didn't really introduce himself...it all felt off."

"to be fair, i would've been pissed if you had spilled coffee on me when we met," jen points out.

"yeah, but you would've been nicer in the aftermath," you shake your head. "it's whatever. i hopefully won't have to work that closely with him."

"and what about hongjoong?" jen wiggles her eyebrows. "i hear you two hit it off."

"he's nice," you smile shyly. "made my first day a lot easier. he was really patient with all my questions, which helped ease my nerves."

"he's really good at that," jen nods. she goes into a story about her first meeting with hongjoong, and it makes you laugh and endears you to the man more. she tells you stories of the other members, none of whom you met today, but now you're excited to get to know them. "they're all really nice, especially san and yunho. i feel like they're the ones that always check up on everybody-"

"san?"

"yes, your mortal enemy," she rolls her eyes. "he's a good guy, i promise. you just need to make up for the coffee thing and i think you'll be on his good side."

"i'll think about that," you mumble, taking a sip of your drink that almost drains the glass. "so who's this guy you're seeing?"

"whoa, looks like you need another one!" jen deflects. she grabs your glass and runs off to the bar to get another round, leaving you to sit and stew on your own. if san was such a nice guy, why was he only rude to you? it sounds like he isn't mean to other newbies, so it can't be some kind of hazing. whatever dislike he holds for you is personal, and that's making you even angrier. when jen comes back with your new drink she says, "you look mad. what did i miss?"

"can you find out why san hates me?" you ask, and you swear jen would punch you if she could reach across the table.

"he doesn't hate you!! you just made a bad impression! stop making him a villain," she begs you. "man, you're so obsessed with him. maybe someone has a crush?"

"please," you scoff. "just because he has muscles doesn't make up for his shit personality."

"so you like his muscles," jen smirks. "tell him that tomorrow, it'll boost his ego."

"i'm not listening to you anymore."

"but i have so much knowledge to share!" she whines, and you let jen tell you all the do's and don'ts of working at kq as the night goes on. maybe you'll take her advice and try to patch things up with san in the morning. could be worth a shot, right?

-

the next day, you're in one of the bigger studios to help hongjoong with a vocal arrangement. since the last album did so well with the unit songs, you and hongjoong wanted to experiment a little further. you excitedly told hongjoong about your hopes to compose and produce a harmony heavy vocal track, and he was all for it. you worked on the music for it last night, bringing about half of the song to hongjoong for you to play around with today. you both agreed it'd be good to have a guide version ready before you share it with the entire vocal line, so seonghwa offered to help out, too. he's in the booth now as you and hongjoong instruct him from your seats behind the soundboard. he finishes the final layer for the first harmony, and you wait as hongjoong lines it all up. he plays the snippet for you and seonghwa, and you notice both boys are waiting for your reaction.

"that was great, seonghwa," you encourage him. "i really liked it, but..."

"don't be shy," hongjoong nudges you, "he can take it."

"i can," seonghwa agrees. "give it to me straight. did it suck?"

"no, it was really beautiful actually," you assure him. "but for the melody, could you make it more...monotone? that might sound weird, but we're trying to play with the high and low harmony like they're the angel and devil sitting on your shoulder, and for those to stand out the melody needs to be less...captivating."

"you hear that? she thinks your voice is captivating," hongjoong smiles to seonghwa, and he beams at you.

"i get that," he nods. "can i try it another way?"

you help hongjoong reset, and then seonghwa tries another layer in a sadder voice. it's just as powerful, but will be the perfect conduit for the story you're trying to tell. when he finishes, they look to you again and find you smiling proudly.

"that was it," you nod. "great job."

"thanks boss," seonghwa says as he steps out of the booth. "who do you want me to bring in next?"

"you can call san, we'll get him to do the high part and then-"

"san?" you look at hongjoong. "i thought seonghwa was doing the guide vocals."

"well, usually we could do with just one voice, but this song would work best with three distinct voices," hongjoong explains. "i don't think the guys would get it if it's harder to distinguish the different levels, you know?"

"right," you agree, just a little dejected.

"so..." seonghwa trails off. "should i go get him?"

"yeah, tell him to meet us here in ten," hongjoong tells him. seonghwa says his goodbyes and then hoongjoong turns to you. "you alright?"

"i'm good," you reply. "feel a little in over my head, but good."

"you're doing great," hongjoong says, placing his hand over yours on the desk. "it's a lot to jump into, and i'm sorry if it seemed like i was-"

"no, i needed the insight-"

"because i value your opinion-"

"i know that-"

"and-" hongjoong is cut off from finishing his thought because the studio door opens to reveal san. he's wearing another skin tight t shirt, black this time, so even if you spilled another coffee on him it would be harder to notice. he's paired it with a beanie and baggy black pants, and if what you're seeing is correct, he's not wearing any underwear. he stands there staring at you both before his eyes fall to your hand still beneath hongjoong's, and the two of you separate like you've just been shocked.

"i'm not interrupting anything, am i?" san asks suspiciously, and you viciously shake your head as hongjoong tells san to get into the booth. he explains the idea to san and queues up seonghwa's melody as san struggles to put the headphones on over his hat, so you lean into the mic and suggest, "try taking the hat off, maybe?"

"thanks, big help," he says sarcastically. he listens anyway, tossing his beanie away like he's mad at it. "so what am i doing? copying hwa?"

"no," you say sternly. "you're singing the high harmony. we'll layer it over seonghwa's vocals, but your voice needs to be distinct. you can practice if you want-"

"i don't need to practice," san cuts you off, staring daggers at you. "just play it." he keeps his eyes on you as he listens, and you feel nervous. he's listening to your song, your lyrics, and you think you see the slightest flicker of emotion in his eyes as seonghwa's voice fades. he doesn't comment on it, just continues staring at you and says, "yeah, got it. you can record this."

"let's listen to it first, and then record the next one," you tell hongjoong, and he nods in agreement. you watch san get ready, and then you hear the most beautiful falsetto flowing over your track. it makes you emotional, and it's another instance of the coolness of your job hitting you. you're so mesmerized you miss san finishing on a bit of a creative note, so the boys are staring, waiting for your input.

"y/n?" hongjoong calls your name. "what'd you think?"

"that was," you clear your throat, "that was perfect, san."

"great," he nods, taking the headphones off, but you stop him.

"ah, we need to record it," you remind him, and you catch his groan through the mic.

"i thought i said to record that one?"

"you don't decide that," you reply, and hongjoong tries to diffuse.

"she has a specific vision for the song, so we wanted to hear you first and then decide if there were any notes before we record you."

"what's the vision?" san asks you, and he listens intently as you explain. when you're done, he takes a deep breath and says clearly into the mic, "that sounds stupid. but i'll do it again. make sure you're recording this time."

"whatever you say, asshole," you mumble, angrily getting the track ready for his bratty voice. you wish you could stay mad at him, but as soon as he starts to sing you're enchanted. again, you get distracted by his voice, the emotion in it and all over his face as he sings, and you think, if he says your idea was stupid, why was he putting so much heart into just a guide vocal? he finishes and you thank him, saving the track quickly before you turn to hongjoong and inform him you need a water break. he's left in the studio with san as he saunters out, but hongjoong meets him at the door.

"what's your problem?" he barks, livid at the way san was treating you during that session.

"uh, you're blocking my exit?" he asks, but that was the wrong thing to say. hongjoong dives into a lecture about respect, and san has to laugh. "oh, you want me to respect the girl who spilled coffee all over me yesterday? who thinks, on her second day, she can tell me how to do my job?"

"she's a producer, her job is to literally tell you what to do-"

"well i'm sorry i hurt your girlfriend's feelings," san spits. "but i did what you asked me to do, so please let me leave." hongjoong steps to the side, still fuming, and san walks out. you catch him in the hall as you return, and you want to stop him, to tell him how great he sounded, but when you lift your hand in greeting he turns the other way and disappears.

-

you get a break from work later that day and find jen making a coffee. she sees you coming and has a cup ready for you to make your own, and you catch up on your days as your coffee brews. you tell her about san's lovely time with you in the studio, and jen listens, but when you finish she asks, "and he was still like this after you said you liked his muscles?"

"i'm not telling him that," you mumble.

"telling who what?" wooyoung asks as he pops around the corner.

"mind your business?" jen replies. "have you met y/n yet? she's the new producer."

"no, but i've heard mixed reviews," wooyoung says as he dramatically shakes your hand. "can't wait to decide which side i'm on."

"there's sides?" you ask nervously.

"yep," he says with a pop on the p. "hongjoong and seonghwa worship the ground you walk on. san hates your guts, although i'm not sure why. you seem lovely."

"she is lovely," jen points out.

"hm," wooyoung squints playfully. "guess we'll have to wait and see."

"what about innocent until proven guilty?" you ask. "just assume you'll like me and then you will!"

"yeah, but san is a good judge of character," wooyoung shakes his head. "if he doesn't like you, then he's got a reason."

"is the reason because he's maleficent?"

"oo, maleficent, i like that," wooyoung coos. he turns to jen and asks, "why don't you use big words like that?"

"i'm afraid you wouldn't get them," she sighs.

"try me, i'm full of surprises baby," he winks at her before smacking her ass and walking away. you watch in confusion, and she waves it off.

"don't worry, he does that sometimes."

"to everybody?!"

"just to me," she shrugs, and then it clicks.

"he's your fling," you smile. "very nice."

"nuh uh."

"no, he totally is. that's elmo," you piece it together. "is that his nickname because of his laugh?"

"you were never supposed to meet him," jen defends herself.

"so getting me a job here wouldn't interfere with that?"

"i figured i could keep it a secret," she pouts.

"you did! for a whopping 36 hours, good job!"

"don't patronize me," she complains. "i could call san and have him here in seconds-"

"oh man, i need to go record something," you frown, "maybe you two could talk though? figure out why he's got an all burning hatred for me, an angel?"

"i'll get to the bottom of it," jen says, and you realize the error you've just made.

"wait, no, don't talk to him, please," you beg.

"too late, you've asked for my help, so i'll help," jen concedes easily. "he'll either love you or simply tolerate you by the end of the week, i promise."

"great, thanks..."

-

you've made it through your first week, yippee! you really like it here, you fit in well with the members, and the producers seem to really like your ideas. the only problem is san. you enter a room that he's in and it goes quiet. he passes you in the hall, and you're fuming for the rest of the day. everyone knows about your little rivalry at this point, but no one understands where it came from. even jen, who was determined to make you and san best friends, has lost hope.

you're able to make it a couple days without any more san run ins, and for that you are grateful. you and hongjoong have made a lot of progress on the vocal line track, and he's invited you to a few writing sessions with mingi for the rap line track. you're feeling invincible after one of those sessions, walking back to your studio, when you get the scare of your life. you enter the code to your studio, guard completely down, and jump out of your skin when you see someone sitting at your desk.

"what the fuck?!" you shriek, using the door as a shield. you peek around it and see that it's not an intruder. well, at least not one that wants to hurt you. maybe. it's san, so this interaction could go in any direction.

"hello," he says simply. "nice way to greet your guest."

"how'd you get into my studio?" you ask as you close the door. you wonder if you should keep it cracked open, just in case you and san get into it and you need a witness that he probably started it.

"i needed to ask you a question," san responds instead, and you cock your head in confusion. "i can't do that?"

"i don't know, can you?"

"your song. the vocal one. how's it going?"

you're surprised this is what he wanted to talk about but, honestly, what else were you expecting? this is a normal work interaction, you think. you're just not used to having those with san. since san is sitting in your desk chair, you pull your stool over to the desk pathetically and perch on top of it as you shoot san a glare.

"can you move over? i need to get to my keyboard."

"aw, can't reach over my muscles?" san teases, and you feel your blood run cold.

"what?"

"my muscles? little birdie told me you liked them."

"what are you doing in my studio, san."

"i wanted to hear your song," he shrugs. you wait for him to move out of the way, but apparently that's not happening. you grumble as you lean over him and type, pulling the project file up on your screen. you check the volume before you hit play and look back to see san watching you intently. he's close, your arms brushing and his head only a few inches from yours. you hold his gaze for a second and then hit play, sitting back as you watch him listen. you can't read his expression as the song plays, but you don't care what he has to say. you love this song, and you think it's turning out great. whatever he has to say isn't important to you-

"wow," he whistles. "i get it now."

"get what?"

"why you're so pretentious about your work," san smirks as he side eyes you.

"is that supposed to be an insult?" you ask, trying to gauge his reaction.

"not really," he shakes his head.

"well it's not a compliment," you tell him.

"i'll work on that," he says as he stands. he puts his hands on your desk to support himself as he rises, and you swear to god, he's flexing his arms a ridiculous amount. nobody needs that much upper body strength just to get out of a rolley chair.

"hey!" you call as he walks away. "what the hell?"

"do you have to curse all the time?" san asks with look of distaste. "it's not very polite."

"nor are you."

"nice," he nods. "well, i'll be around-"

"no, wait, why'd you come in here?" you ask as you follow him out of your studio. "you just wanted to listen to the song?"

"yeah?" he shrugs, turning to face you in the hallway. he's standing so close you have to lean back to look at him properly, and you frown.

"i don't believe you."

"why not?" san smirks. "you wanted me in your studio for another reason?"

"no-"

"you're not the only one who likes to stare, doll," he says quietly, leaning down so his ears are just barely brushing your ear. he straightens back up before you can melt into a puddle on the floor, and then he smiles what might be his first genuine smile in your presence. "so maybe i didn't just come here for the song. but now i've heard it, and i know don't hate it, so i think we're done here."

and with that very confusing information, san walks away.

-

san is tired. he's been practicing for their seoul concert since the early hours of the morning, and he needs a break. it's almost an acceptable time to eat lunch, so he grabs his things and starts the short walk to his favorite convenience store. he likes this one because it's got a seating area in the back where he can eat, giving him some time to himself. it's secluded enough he doesn't have to worry about being bothered, but it has a good view of the street outside so he can people watch. it's the perfect spot for him to rest and enjoy his food, so he leaves the company with a pep in his step.

he grabs all of his favorites, moving on autopilot, and pays for them quickly. he takes everything back to his usual table and prepares his feast. now that he's stopped working, he feels the tiredness in his bones and realizes how hungry he actually was. when did he eat last? was it dinner? that was more than twelve hours ago, so maybe he can get away with eating another ramen before he goes...

san is considering whether or not he should get up and grab more food as he stares through the store window. there's people rushing to work, couples going to lunch, families wrangling kids. he watches with a smile as one family, a mother and father, try to handle what looks like a girl and two twins. that job is way harder than anything he's doing as an idol, he thinks. he watches fondly as they walk away, and when he turns back, his smile falls.

you and hongjoong are crossing the street, engaged in some conversation that's making you both laugh. you make a joke that sends a laugh crashing up from within hongjoong's chest, and san scoffs as he watches you stare in admiration. hongjoong rushes forward and opens the door to the convenience store for you, and san hears the end of your sentence as you enter.

"-didn't have to do that," san catches, and he hears hongjoong make a dismissive sound in response. "wow, there's a lot of food here."

"you see why we like this place so much," hongjoong responds. san can't see you, but your voices are getting closer. "there's something for everyone."

"there's so much, i don't know what to pick..." you trail off.

"get whatever you want," hongjoong says. "it's on me."

"what? no-"

"ah ah, no arguments. consider it a welcome gift."

"well thank you," san hears you squeak, and he can just imagine the way you must be blushing, looking at hongjoong so shyly, pretending to be coy-

"oh, hey san," hongjoong greets. you come to a stop behind him, bumping into his back, and san has to laugh. "didn't know you were here."

"didn't tell anyone i was leaving," san shrugs. he leans over, trying to catch your eye, and waves. "hi y/n."

"hi san."

"are you eating here?" san asks, and hongjoong shakes his head.

"ah, no, we were just taking a break," he replies. "i was going to buy us lunch and then we're gonna head back."

"got it," san nods, still looking at you. "carry on then."

"thanks for your permission," you mumble, holding onto the back of hongjoong's shirt as he turns you down another aisle. he starts looking for a snack he wants you try, but he can't see it. he looks up, eyes flitting around the store, and his face lights up.

"oh! it's over there! be right back!" he runs off, and you continue scanning the shelves. you're not that hungry, but you know you won't have time to leave again, so you need to get enough food for lunch and dinner probably. you're reading the ingredients on one of the prepackaged meals when you feel a presence behind you. turning, you see san looming above, and you jump.

"shit," you hiss. "wear a bell."

"need help pronouncing the big words?" he asks.

"yeah, come closer and let me show you."

"you having fun?" san sneers, and your confused expression makes him clarify, "with your boyfriend."

"what?"

"oh come on, letting him buy your lunch, holding onto him like that...you're eating it up, aren't you?"

"i don't know what you mean," you say as you step around san, but your face is red. he's getting to you.

"it's cute, really," he says, beating you to the end of the aisle. he puts his arm out, effectively blocking your way, and he continues staring down at you in that frustrating way of his. like he wants to swallow you whole. "how long do you think it'll last?"

"if you're asking about my patience i'm afraid that ship sailed a while ago," you try to fight back, but san just laughs.

"you're cute, you know? you try to be so tough, but it doesn't work. i see right through you."

"and what do you see?" you ask as you cross your arms. san bares his teeth, ready to quip back, but his eyes catch on something behind you. you look over your shoulder and see hongjoong holding up a bag, a confused look in his eyes.

"found the sweet potatoes," he says as he approaches. "what are you doing?"

"getting to know our coworker," san says nonchalantly, removing himself from your personal space. "i'll let you go. my food's getting cold."

"sure," hongjoong says skeptically, reaching for you. he tries to guide you away with his hand at your back, but you can feel san's eyes still on you. you turn and his hand politely falls away, but san's eyes follow you through the rest of the store. he gets an idea when you go back to the drink coolers, so san finishes his food quickly and heads to the front.

when you and hongjoong are finally ready to pay, you go to the register and hongjoong reaches for his wallet. the woman behind the counter shakes her head, showing a stack of bills to tell you it's been taken care of. you look around and find san halfway out the door, a wicked smile on his face. he waves at you teasingly before the door dings closed, and hongoong happily takes the food, babbling about how nice san is as you leave.

-

later that day, the boys are getting fitted for their tour outfits. each practice room has been converted into a walk in closet + vanity combo, so you peek your head in to see how it's going. jen spots you and waves you over to her station, and you duck through the racks of clothes to say hi to your friend. you're taken aback when you see who she's working on, but jen laughs and assures you it's ok.

"he won't bite, he's asleep," she says about the pouting san she's working on currently. "he was here all night, apparently. he knocked out before i could even say hi."

"are you sure he's asleep and not faking it?" you ask as you tentatively sit in the chair next to him. it's enough distance away that you're not concerned by the proximity, but you keep an eye on him as you talk. "maybe he doesn't want to talk."

"hey, san likes me, so i know he's not faking it," jen tells you. "he and i get along really well."

"congratulations," you mumble as you reach for a makeup brush to play with. "so how was your day?"

you and jen catch up as she works on san, periodically asking for your opinion on the look she's created for him. you know she's trying to get you to say something nice about him, to slip up and call him handsome or sexy, but you won't budge. all the compliments you give are very makeup forward, but she won't let up. she's also not being gentle in her application, so you really are afraid san is awake and listening. she's almost done with him when wooyoung walks up, greeting you happily.

"hey y/n!" he chirps. "nice to see you! you're in my seat."

"oh, my bad," you scramble to get up. you got comfortable, your feet propped on one of the giant makeup cases before you. jen puts a hand out to stop you, turning to wooyoung with a trying-to-be-stern look in her eyes.

"my friend and i are not done talking."

"well your boss told me to come over here and get my makeup done, so unless you want me to stand..." wooyoung trails off as jen finishes with san's face. she turns to him and nods.

"standing is fine," she says, quickly getting to work on wooyoung's base layer. "i'll work fast so you don't have to stand long."

"but then i don't get to bug you as long," wooyoung whines.

"life's cruel like that, huh?"

"come on, i know i'm your favorite part of this job," wooyoung teases, and you share a silent laugh with him as jen blushes profusely. once wooyoung catches your eye, his attention turns to you, and he asks, "what about you, y/n? now that you've been here a few days, what's your favorite part of this job?"

"san's abs," jen answers for you, and you try your best to kick her. you accidentally nudge san's chair and freeze, but he doesn't stir.

"oh yeah? let's tell him-"

"no!" you shout, and if he wasn't awake now he definitely is. he still doesn't move, but you continue in a softer voice, "um, no. don't do that. uhh, my favorite part of the job...i don't wanna be a kiss ass, but it's probably working with hongjoong."

"of course it is," san mumbles, and even though he spoke quietly it makes you jump. he opens his eyes and your skin sets fire as soon as he looks at you. "you're in wooyoung's chair."

"he's having jen time," you counter. "let him enjoy it."

"yeah, let me enjoy it!" wooyoung agrees.

"san, what do you think of the eye makeup i did? tried something new," jen says as she focuses on wooyoung's eyes now. san sits up and looks in the mirror, but he's not looking at himself. he's watching you pretend like a strand on your sweater is the most interesting thing in the world, so he decides to call your attention.

"y/n? what do you think?" san asks, and you meet his gaze through the mirror. you're shocked to realize he's checking you out, blatantly, your cardigan falling off your shoulder to reveal your bra underneath. you were in a rush this morning and thought that would be enough. surely no one would notice you weren't wearing a tank, since this bra could pass as long as your sweater stayed up. but right now it's not, so san can see an entire cup, and he's almost drooling. instead of answering his question you look over at jen and repeat your earlier compliments as you pull your sweater tight around your torso.

"yeah, it looks good," you say again. "now that he's awake and you can see his eyes, you did a good job, uh, highlighting them."

"eloquent," san chides, and this time you intentionally kick his chair. he grabs your ankle before you can pull back, and tugs, bringing you closer.

"big word," wooyoung whispers, and you can hear jen smack him as you lift your eyes to san's. he's looking at you with that hungry gaze you're coming to get used to, and he rewords his question.

"what do you like about it specifically?" he tries as he leans in, and you hold your breath as you stare. this is closer than you've ever been, and you can smell hints of cologne that have your head spinning. alarms are going off in your head to run, but with san's hand still on your leg, you're trapped.

"you drool in your sleep, you know that?" you decide to say, ignoring his question completely. he's surprised enough that his grip on you loosens and you're able to bolt from the chair, grabbing your things as you say a quick goodbye to jen and wooyoung. they're watching on, amused with your little show, and when you're fully out of the room san collapses back into the chair with a groan.

"she's right," jen says. "i had to get napkins to mop up your spit."

"sorry," san grumbles.

"when are you gonna tell her?" wooyoung asks, and san makes a confused sound to encourage him to explain. "y/n. when are you gonna say that you're into her?"

"i'm not into her," san rolls his eyes.

"yeah, right," wooyoung laughs. "and me and jen aren't fucking."

"hey!" and another smack. they continue bickering as san stares at his reflection in the mirror, his eyes falling to the chair you just occupied.

-

the next few days, you spend a lot of time in your studio. too much maybe, but you need to get this vocal track finished. all the boys have recorded their parts, and now it's down to you to get the final mix to the other producers by monday. it's friday now, and you know you can't pull any all nighters this weekend - the boys want you to come to their shows, so you'd like to be finished with the track before you leave today.

it's weird, being here so late at night. you think you're the last one left, hongjoong left with the rest of the members and the producers started trickling out about two hours ago. you don't mind being here on your own, you know the security is fine, but it's still eerie. when you got another coffee just now, you caught yourself jumping at the slightest sounds. you could've sworn you heard footsteps following you, but after investigating you realized it was the sound of your own that scared you. you hunker down for another spell in your studio, and you get a lot closer to the product you want. hongjoong kept telling you it didn't need to be perfect, it still had to go through critiques so it would probably change a lot, but you can't let your first project here be a mess. it at least needs to meet your standards, so you keep working.

you're not sure how much later it is, but you wake yourself when your head falls off your propped up arm. you fell asleep listening to the final track, wanting to check for any mistakes, so you don't know how long it's been looping while you slept. you listen through one last time, almost satisfied, but you hear something that sounds off. you try another listen, and realize it's not coming from your speakers, it's coming from somewhere else.

heart racing, you press your ear to the door of your studio and curse the sound proofing. you can make out a noise, but not enough to figure out what it is from the safety of this room. you look around for a weapon, something to protect you, and all you see are stray wires. you find one long enough and wrap it around your fists, pulling the wire taught between them. worst case scenario you garrote the intruder and then call for help, but you're being dramatic. whatever is out there can't be a threat, can it?

you open your studio door and follow the sound. in your tired state, you recognize a song, but you can't place it or where it's coming from. you tiptoe down the hall toward the practice rooms, and spy light coming from a door at the end of the hall. so it must be one of the members, you think. or maybe the bb trippin guys came early to prep for the show. whatever it is, you keep walking, aware now that the song you heard is wake up, one of your favorites. the boys were cryptic about the setlist, wanting it to be a surprise for you this weekend, but you get excited at the thought of what kind of mystical performance they could do for this song. when you reach the door, you stop cold, seeing maybe the last person you expected it to be.

san is dancing, quite sexually, to the music bumping through the speakers. he's in baggy sweats and a tank top that shows off his figure and his ridiculously chiseled muscles, and you can't help it. you stare, watching in awe as he drops it low and grinds around to a song you never expected to be portrayed like this. as he's on the ground, a tie hanging from his teeth, his eyes flick to yours through the mirror. you gasp, and he smirks, somehow able to catch the sound of your breath hitching over the loud music. he feels proud of himself, knowing he's got you so shocked, but when he finishes the portion he's working on, he looks to the mirror and you're gone.

you're rushing down the hall back to your studio. what the fuck was that. you had a physical reaction to san, and not a good one. and he saw you! that's humiliating, you'll never be able to look at him again-

"where ya goin doll?" his deep voice asks. he's right behind you, and before you can sprint off to your studio, he grabs your shoulders and pushes you against the nearest door. when you come face to face, he's breathing heavy, and you assume that's because of the intense choreography he just worked through. little do you know, being this close to you, smelling that annoying perfume that follows you around, touching you, all of this is taking his breath away. his hands trail down your shoulders to your hands, and he looks at you quizzically when he finds the wire wrapped tightly in your fists. "what's this?"

"i, uh, i thought i was the only one here? so when i heard something i looked for uh. i wanted something to protect myself with," you explain, embarrassed by how dramatic that sounds.

"you're a badass," san chuckles, lifting your hands by the wire hanging between them.

"i thought cursing wasn't polite," you remind him of his own words, and he laughs again.

"i just said that to piss you off."

"you're insufferable," you groan, trying to twist away from the man in front of you.

"and you're in a bit of a pickle, aren't you?" he smiles at you evilly. "can't get away, little kitten?"

"let go of me, san," you say steadily, but he just keeps smiling.

"why would i? i've finally got you right where i want you."

"what?" you breathe out.

"you couldn't tell? i've wanted you since i laid eyes on you."

"wanted me?" you scoff. "i'm not a steak."

"but you went and spilled that coffee on me, and then you were so delightful during our recording session, i just kept falling harder and harder for you," he teases.

"you're shit at showing how you feel."

"and you're shit at hiding how you feel," he smirks. "i know you want me, doll. that's why i acted the way i did. it was fun messing with you, letting you think i hated you. wanted to see how far i could push it."

"that's so middle school of you san," you complain, pushing your finger into his chest. "if you were a real man you would've done something about this already instead of playing a bunch of games."

"if i was a real man?" he chuckles lowly, and he's so close you feel it in your stomach. "baby, you haven't been with a real man til you've been with me."

"prove it," you whisper, but your breath gets caught as san pulls your hands above your head by the wire still wrapped around them. he holds your wrists in place as his other hand squeezes your waist, and he watches you squirm with glee in his eyes.

"prove it? you sure you can handle me doll?"

"do your your worst," you smirk, and then he's crashing his lips to yours. the kiss is fierce, all teeth and tongue, and you gasp as his hand travels up your waist and beneath your shirt. he traces the skin beneath your hoodie, smirking into your lips when he discovers you're not wearing a bra.

"i like it when you make things easy for me," he breathes out against your neck, his lips making their way across your skin and leaving little marks as he pleases. his hand beneath your shirt traces beneath each breast before leaving a featherlight trail to your nipple, and he surprises you with a quick pinch. you gasp again, giving him a chance to return his lips to your mouth and press his tongue past your lips. he kisses you one last time before pulling from your lips, asking, "should we take this inside?"

"wha?" you murmur, twisting to look at the door behind you. "but, san, this isn't my studio-"

"i know, it's hongjoong's," he says as he punches the code in. "he won't mind."

"i do!" you squeak out as san opens the door and pushes you inside. "san, seriously, we're not having sex in here!"

"we're having sex?" san teases, and you use your newly released hands to beat against his chest. "take that stupid wire off, baby. you're gonna need your hands."

"for what?" you grumble, listening to him anyway. when your hands are free, you notice the little indents left from the wire, and san surprises you by taking your hands into his softly. his thumb rubs over the raw skin, and he stares darkly at you as he lifts your hands to his lips. he kisses over the sore spots and up your wrists, whining cutely when he hits the fabric of your shirt.

"take this off," he tugs on your sleeve, and you shake your head.

"only if you take your shirt off too," you counter, and he easily lets go of you to remove his tank top. you hate the way you're staring, but you can't help it. he's beautiful, and you're mesmerized. he calls your name, the first time he's said it all night, and you find his eyes staring at you softly. "right, sorry," you mumble, pulling your hoodie off, not so accidentally catching it on your tits so they release with a bounce. san groans as he watches on, and then his hands are on you again, cupping your tits and teasing your nipples. you moan softly, reaching for his head to pull him into another kiss. your hands wrap around to his neck, one sweeping down to feel his soft, sweaty skin. you trace over the muscles in his chest, the lines of his abs, and end at his waistband. his hand reaches down to stop you before you can continue, and he pulls back to ask, "do you trust me?"

"do i trust you? not completely," you answer honestly. "maybe you don't hate me as much as you made me believe, but i still think you're despicable."

"if i'm so despicable why are you letting me use you like a toy?" he jokes, pushing you down into hongjoong's desk chair. "if you trust me, i want you to do something for me. if you don't, tell me to shut up, and we'll go back to having sex. but it'll be more boring that way."

"can i get that in writing, you saying that sex with you is boring?" you tease, and san growls as he captures your lips in another kiss. he's caging you in, and when he releases your lips, he leans his forehead against yours as he speaks.

"start a new file on his computer," san says lowly. "and hit record when i say."

"you're kidding."

"like i said, do it if you trust me," he shrugs, his hands moving from the armrests to your waist. he starts tugging your pants down as he continues. "if you don't trust me, then we just fuck like normal and go on with our lives."

"san, i-"

"are you gonna make the file?" he asks, kneeling in front of you. you open and close your mouth like a fish, but then you're moving without thinking. you twist in his hold, punching in hongjoong's password and finding the mixing app. you start a new project, label it inconspicuously, and then settle back in the chair. san is looking at you proudly, and he praises you, "good girl."

"what now?" you ask quietly, and san separates your legs further. he starts kissing up your leg, starting at your knee, and when he gets to your panties, he whispers, "i make you come."

he pulls yours panties down then, hissing as he watches your arousal cling to the fabric, and he smiles. "oh, she's pretty."

"i didn't know you were capable of giving me a compliment," you quip, and san bites your thigh to shut you up.

"wasn't talking to you," he says against your skin, leaving kisses along the inside of your thigh until he reaches your core. he brings his hands up to spread you open for him, and he stares in admiration at how wet you are, just for him. he leans in and you wait to feel his lips, his tongue, something, but instead you feel something wet land on your clit. san spit on your pussy, and he brings his hand up to rub the sensitive spot as he blows on your entrance.

"i thought you said you were gonna make me come," you whine, and he nods.

"i will. when i want to."

"san-" you whimper, lifting your hips as he continues playing with your clit and neglecting the rest of you.

"you want more doll?" he asks, his eyes staring at you darkly. you look down at him and nod, but he pinches your thigh in response. "words, baby."

"want more, san," you groan. "need your tongue."

"hit record and i'll give you what you want," he smirks below you, and you're so horny you can't even think about fighting back. you turn around and press record, san's lips finding your clit immediately. he licks over the bundle of nerves, prodding a finger at your entrance as he listens to your sweet moans. he fucks his finger into you once, twice, then adds another. you whine above him, your hands catching on his hair as you try to push him closer. he licks up every drop of you, fucking you on his fingers, and moans into your pussy for good measure. the vibration seends you reeling, and you whisper out, "fuck, san."

"who?"

"san, fuck! feels so good."

"yeah? you wanna come?" he asks, leaning his head on your thigh as he stares at you writhing above him. you're watching him with hooded eyes as he adds another finger, fucking you open for him. you lift your hips again, trying to make him move faster. "d'you still hate me, doll?"

"no," you whisper shyly, and he smiles.

"say it louder."

"i don't hate you," you moan out, his fingers scissoring you open as his lips return to your clit. he sucks harshly, and you let out a whine that turns into a frustrated scream. "faster."

"hm?"

"faster, please," you beg, "please, please, fuck. 'm gonna come."

"let me hear you, baby," he mumbles into your core. "who's making you feel so good?"

"san, you, fuck-" your voice tapers off as you hold your breath and crash into your release. you're clenching around san so deliciously, he groans into your clit and does his best to help you ride out your high. you're trying to catch your breath as. san cleans you up, slurping obscenely, and in your post-nut clarity you realize what you've done. you turn around, frantically trying to stop the recording, but san stands above you and catches your hands again.

"what are you doing?" he growls, and you blubber out a response.

"he can't, we can't, i have to delete it, i'm not-"

"not what? not enjoying yourself?" san asks. "because i'm looking at a dripping pussy that tells a different story."

"we need to go somewhere else," you hiss, and san shakes his head.

"i think we're doing fine right here," he smirks, kissing you deeply so you can taste yourself on his tongue. you bite his bottom lip as he tries to pull away, and he groans.

"is it my turn now?" you ask, and you watch fire spark across san's eyes.

"your turn to what, baby?"

"drive you insane?" you ask innocently, pushing san away so you can stand. you keep pushing him until he hits the wall, and you drop to your knees. you waste no time pulling his pants down, revealing his lack of underwear. you look up at him and ask, "you makin things easy for me, babe?"

"no," he smirks down at you. "bet you can't even fit it in your mouth."

"you're full of yourself," you point out as you spit into your hand. you bring it to his cock, stroking over his soft skin. "you liked eating me out this much?"

"it wasn't bad," san nods. "wouldn't mind doing it again."

"maybe later," you mumble, bringing his tip to your lips. you spit again, watching as it dribbles down his shaft, you stroke him a few more times, flicking your tongue over his tip teasingly. he's trying so hard not to lose it above you, and the way he's biting his lip to keep quiet pisses you off. without warning, you swallow him whole, his tip hitting the back of your throat as you try to fit him all in your mouth. he cries out above you, his hands tangling in your hair. he pulls you off of him completely, gasping for breath above you. "hey. i wasn't done."

"not gonna last," he says shyly, and you feel your ego grow ten sizes. "need to fuck you."

"eh, i'm getting tired-"

"shut up," he growls, pulling you up by your hair and slamming his lips into yours again. "go bend over his desk."

"you're sick," you tell him, obeying anyway.

"you're into it," san says cockily, adjusting your hips as he comes up behind you. "make sure you're right up to the mic, doll. wanna hear this." you hate yourself for it, but you find the mic in front of you and pull it closer. you feel his hands on your ass, pulling you apart as he stares at your pussy again. "so pretty for me," he sighs, removing a hand to bring his cock to your entrance. he teases your hole a few times, laughing when you jerk back and try to catch his tip. "impatient girl."

"just fuck me," you say clearly, and he responds by giving you exactly what you want. he thrusts into you, splitting you open, and you moan so loud it's embarrassing. san stays still, giving you a minute to adjust, but you start fucking back into him, and he gets the hint. he grabs onto your ass again, and then he's fucking into with no control. your mouth hangs open as he fucks you hard and fast, and san frowns. he smacks your ass and feels you clench around him as he barks, "lemme hear you." so you moan, and whine, and altogether let go. you're a babbling mess, mumbling incoherently about how good it feels, how he fucks you just right, how his cock is perfect, you can't stop. san is eating it up, fucking into you so deep you can feel him in your gut.

too soon, he's pulling out, and you let out a pathetic cry. san pulls you up by your hips, his hands smoothing over your skin, as he explains, "wanna watch you when you come." he helps you sit on hongjoong's desk, lifting your legs up so you're completely exposed to him. he holds your thighs open and tries to fuck back into you, but you have to help him, taking his wet cock and guiding it back to your entrance. he thrusts into you, slotting his hips against yours, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. he should've fucked you like this the whole time, he thinks, because he can't stop staring. you look so perfect, so blissed out, and it spurs him on. he holds one thigh down as his other hand wraps around your waist, holding you in place as he fucks you.

"i'm gonna come, baby," he warns. "where do you want it?"

"my stomach," you gasp out. "wanna see it."

"fuck, you're insane."

"don't slow down," you whine, holding onto san's broad shoulders like your life depends on it. you let him fuck you senseless, clenching around him as you get closer. he brings his hand around to rub his thumb over your clit, and you jerk away in sensitivity. "can't take it, san, gonna come-"

"then come for me," he begs. "need you to come first."

"fuck, san, fuck," you gasp, digging into his shoulders as you hold him in place. you clench around him until he can't take it anymore, and he pulls out, his forehead against yours as you watch him stroke himself. he comes quickly, painting your skin, and you moan breathlessly as you watch him empty himself over you. "fuck, that's hot."

"we should do that again," san smirks at you, and you playfully push against his chest. you leave your hands on him as you respond, "not now. i'm exhausted."

"how long have you been here?" san asks, sudden concern in his voice.

"too long," you sigh, noticing how raw your throat feels. you cough, your back bumping into the mic behind you. "oh shit. i need to turn this off." you look at san as you crouch down, saving the file and sending it to yourself. "what the hell am i supposed to do with this?"

"listen to it when you get lonely?" san jokes, and you push him. "use it in a song, maybe?"

"that would get me fired," you inform him, making sure you've deleted all traces of it from hongjoong's computer. satisfied, you turn to san and cross your arms over your chest. "was this your plan all along? you get me to record a salacious audio and then blackmail me with it?"

"you still think i hate you?" he asks, brushing your hair behind your ear. "bummer. thought we'd moved past that after your first orgasm."

"i'm just saying, if this was an elaborate plan to get me to leave, i commend the effort-"

"y/n," he says softly, and you meet his eyes. they're serious for once, which is odd. "i don't hate you, and i don't want to get you fired."

"good to know," you squeak. his gaze is too intense for you, so you start looking for your clothes and then remember the mess on your stomach. "oh, yuck-"

"here, let me clean you up," san says, searching for tissues. he holds onto you carefully as he wipes up his release, pulling a few extra tissues to clean the mess between your legs.

"see, if you'd just let me help you like this on my first day, we wouldn't have been mortal enemies for so long," you joke.

"yeah, but we wouldn't have fucked like that if i had been nice to you from the start."

"so what now?" you ask as you get dressed. "you said you wanna do that again?"

"don't you?" san asks, his pants halfway up his legs. you unashamedly stare at his cock before you respond, but he's got his answer.

"i mean, if you want-"

"i do," he interjects. "whenever you want me. i'll be there."

"is this what everyone means, when they say you're so nice?" you ask genuinely. san comes over to you, wrapping his hands around your waist before he kisses you.

"guess you'll have to find out, huh?"

[feefivefoe]

Something I think about when it comes to the batfam is what if they remember reader after a long long time? I’m talking 10+ years after leaving the family. Like what would that be like? Reader wouldn’t be a young adult but someone who’s established themselves in a career and most likely moved out of Gotham, got themselves a somewhat better apartment or maybe a small house, maybe gone through therapy and has decided that they are indifferent about the families existence, to the point that reader forgets about them sometimes. Except Jason reader would probably light a candle every birthday and holiday for him

I feel like the angst potential would be like an aged wine. Bruce Wayne forgot about his first born child their entire life, plus 10 years. Maybe the only reason they remember is a Gotham exclusive on the family, a “where are they now?” type story and half the family (Steph, Cas, Damian, Duke) discover reader existed and the other half is reminded of the forgot part of their family. Oh the angst for Jason! His favorite sibling, his friend from before his death, how could he forget them?? How could Bruce forget them??? And oh god it’s been such a long time where are they?? The story said that they couldn’t find a record in Gotham anymore, are they dead? He let them be forgotten, something he couldn’t stand happening to him, and now here he is, perpetuating it. The fight this would cause!! I feel like the fam would turn on Bruce demanding answers that he doesn’t have. Jason goes to readers room and finds nothing. Maybe reader wanted to cover their tracks? Maybe they didn’t want any trace of them in a manor that never cared for them in the first place? Who knows, all the fam knows is that this building feels so much colder now with this revelation.

Meanwhile reader is getting dinner with friends and work colleagues, having a good and fulfilling life, one outside Gotham, outside of the depressing influence of the Wayne’s, rogues, and owls of Gotham (sorry for making this so long!! Hope you’re having a great day!! Love your work!)

No bc how dare you come into my askbox and drop the most beautiful ask I've seen while I'm sick and brain fogged /affectionate

No hate to anybody else who has sent asks, ily all, but this one HIT MY BRAIN SPASMS AKDMELAK-

BECAUSE YOU'RE SO RIGHT???

The longer it goes on, the worse the inevitable realization is for EVERYONE. Including reader. Because while there's no record of them legally, that's just because they're doing too poorly to have records.

Once you leave Gotham and start settling, you have legal documentation that you just need, you know, for life. Your ssn, birth certificate, etc. Documents that Bruce thought he had somewhere, only to find out you had requested them from Alfred when you left home.

Alfred, being the enabler he is and always hoping you'd reconnect with them one day, just gave you legal copies. Or illegal copies that are good enough to pass, idk how that stuff works.

Point is, they can find you.

BUT.

That's after they get past the emotional turmoil that the discovery puts them through. Imagine if one of them is watching the special for laughs, members of the family snickering at how fake and put together they all are on camera, elbowing each other at how prim and proper some of them are.

Then, near the ending, it cuts to a city far away from theirs. Not Bludhaven, which confuses them. The rest of them stayed, at least relatively close. So where-?

"Y/N L/N, formerly known as Y/N Wayne, has not been seen in the public eye for over a decade. While our reporters were unable to make contact, some still can't help but wonder on where this mysterious member of the beloved family-"

*Snap*

That's Jason, snapping the remote in half while staring at the screen.

Where...when...?

Half of them are confused. Three of them are starting to get a dawning realization.

Jason is having probably the biggest traumatic breakdown he's had since coming to terms with his death and resurrection.

Which town was that? Was that their actual home? Is that just stock footage? Did the reporter lie, did they find you? No, they would have shown that. Fucking vultures wouldn't keep the drama to themselves if they had the chance.

Those are thoughts that don't hit until later, honestly. He's too fucking furious to think coherently for a while.

He wants to scream at Bruce, and hit him, and Dick, and Tim, and fuck it, Alfred too a little. (Unfortunately, they probably have lost Alfred by now. The man was already old.)

He wants to both trash and treasure what's left of your room, small enough to make him feel cramped. It's the size of his old apartment bedroom! Fucking moneybags couldn't give his second ever child a better room than this???

There's no diary left behind, or anything that would bring any sense of closure. Actually, the only thing of note is a scattering of ancient newspaper articles badly taped up on the wall, mostly peeling or on the floor by now.

"BATMAN BESTS POLICE ONCE MORE- RIDDLER IN CUSTODY"

"WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT THE BOY WONDER"

"NO MORE JOKES - CLOWN IN CUSTODY"

"BATMAN'S NEWEST SIDEKICK? ROBIN REPLACED!"

"A NEW HERO? NIGHTWING DEBUTS!"

Them. It's articles about all of them. Their hero exploits, at least. None of them past his...expiration date. It looks like his death is what made you stop idolizing your family so much. Honestly, the paper is old enough to make it hard to read anything but the headlines.

There are a few sticky notes amidst the papers. Clumsy, childlike handwriting.

03/16/XXXX

Richard and Mister Wayne saved people from a bank! Bad guys almost blew em up. That's why they had to miss the concert!

07/30/XXXX

Jason couldn't have dinner because the Joker broke out, and they had to stop him again. Stay in jail! My brother is hungry!!!! >:(

XX/XX/XXXX

I hoped Richard was in town because of my birthday...I guess it was superhero stuff. But Jay remembers! Next year?

XX/XX/XXXX

Not next year :( I made a cake with Alfred instead. Gave some to Jay after he patrolled. Not as good as Alfred's yet, but he still ate it!

Notes you wrote to yourself. To hang up, to show you that even if they aren't there for you, your 'family' is full of good people. That they're doing important stuff, and that's why they can't be there for you.

As a child, you hung up a wall to show yourself why you weren't important. Why you didn't matter.

And Jason breaks.

[dogfish4200]

the party and the after party

you and Leon hate each other, simple enough. CW: smut!

To put it simply, Leon is an asshole. A pure pile of dogshit you want to leave on the ground for someone else to deal with. He’s cocky to the point of narcissism, unnecessarily rude under the guise of “sarcasm,” and doesn’t seem to care enough to ever apologize. Essentially, the opposite of you, with straight As and a track record of volunteer work, the epitome of a goody two shoes which you don’t see as an insult anyway.

So, when he shows up at your birthday party unannounced and uninvited, it takes pretty much everything in you to not walk over and slap the grin off his stupid face.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Leon.” It’s not said like a question. The words roll off your tongue coated in venom, and to be honest the few drinks in your system have made you more confident than you actually feel.

“What’s wrong? Thought this lame excuse of a party could use some entertainment.” Leon cocks his head to the side and gives you a wink, unbothered by the obvious tension in the room.

Everyone here knows the fights between you guys get real nasty real fast, the last time it happened you both got kicked out of the library for yelling and throwing books. That time though, it was because Leon had copied your scholarship project idea and submitted it before you, forcing you to redo the entire thing a week before the deadline.

“You weren’t invited, shithead, and why would you even think I would want you here in the first place? All you do is walk around like you own everything and treat people like they're worthless.” Heat was rushing to your face now, and you didn’t really mean to escalate things so quickly, but when he stood in front you with a look of pure spite, who could really blame you?

Leon simply shrugged, pushing past and knocking into your shoulder on the way through the hallway. As he moved by, he leaned down next to your ear and whispered, “if you really want me to leave, it’ll take more convincing than a few middle school level insults.” He let out a chuckle at the way your body tensed before continuing on his way inside the house.

It’s an hour later before you see him again, this time with his head thrown back laughing at a joke someone said. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, one hand holding a red solo cup and the other firmly planted around the waist of some girl you know from an old volunteer group.

It’s unclear why, but you find yourself walking over and grabbing another cup. Leon’s eyes are locked onto your every move and his mouth is curled into another one of his signature smirks as he raises his drink.

He watches you accidentally pour a little more liquor than necessary into the cup, follows the motion as you bring it to your lips and tilt your head back to swallow the entirety of the liquid in one go. You catch his gaze for a second, wincing slightly at the burn of the vodka sliding down your throat, and see him lean down to tell the girl something before letting her go and striding over to where you stand.

“For someone who turns homicidal over a little project, I’m not surprised that that didn't make you puke.” The sarcasm in his voice is not lost on you, it wasn’t a compliment. You look up to meet his eyes, glaring intently while deciding how to respond.

“Guess you don’t have me as figured out as you think you do then.” You turn away from him and attempt to pour another shot for yourself, but Leon’s hand is suddenly ripping the bottle away from you. “What the fuck is your problem? Does it look like that was for you?”

Leon shoots you a devilish grin, uncapping the liquor and bringing the mouth of the bottle up to his own lips before taking a long, exaggerated pull. Setting the bottle back on the counter, he replies “You said it yourself didn’t you? I own everything.”

“That’s not what I said. I said you act like you own everything, big difference dumbass.” You roll your eyes at him and shove him backwards, noticing how close he had gotten over the last minute. Leon barely blinks an eye at the reaction, and instead of letting you walk away, grabs your wrist roughly to pull you back towards him. He’s turned you around so your back is pressed into the counter and you can feel his breath on your face as he speaks. “Are you always this bratty? Or is this something you save just for me?”

The hold he has on your wrist is tight, tight enough that you think it should hurt if you didn’t have the amount of adrenaline equivalent to skydiving running through your body right now. “You think me telling you you’re a piece of shit is being bratty? I’m pretty sure if I was being bratty, I wouldn’t win all our fights.”

“You think you’re so much better than me because what? You get good grades? Win some scholarships? Newsflash, sweetheart, people are only friends with you because it looks good. Because you’re a pushover and they want to use you for their own gain. At least, that’s what I’ve heard anyway.” Leon releases your wrist and reaches for his cup again, smiling like he just won the fucking lottery.

The rage boiling inside you is not well hidden, and your impulse control is significantly lacking in your current state. Instead of playing the “bigger person” and staying silent this time, you grab his cup and splash it directly in his face before turning and storming out of the room, leaving a now sufficiently soaked Leon in your wake.

Stomping up the stairs, gripping the handrail so tight you might as well bring it with you, you make your way to the second floor bathroom. You step instead and slam the door shut, albeit a tad harder than was necessary, but you can’t find in you to care right now.

As you're splashing cool water on yourself and attempting to pull it together, it is your birthday after all, the doorknob jiggles slightly before the door swings open to reveal none other than the man you wish would burn to ash under your gaze. Bile pools in your stomach at the sight of Leon, strutting into the poorly lit bathroom without a care in the world as if he didn’t just stab you with a knife and twist the blade.

“Long time no see, your majesty.” He makes a point of overexaggerating a bow before roughly shoving you out of the way of the sink and grabbing a towel to wipe his face. “You know, you’re really just as much of a piece of shit as I am with the way you act towards me.”

Rage fuels you at this point, a string of sentences too obscene even for you snaking their way around your tongue, held back only by the determination to not prove his point. You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, “If I was such a bad person, I wouldn’t be helping as many people as I do.”

“Right, because changing the world is all about being a kiss ass who does whatever they’re told.” Leon rolls his eyes before continuing, “Don’t you get bored of being who everyone else wants you to be?”

The question could be read as caring if you didn’t hear the malice in Leon’s tone, words chosen specifically because he knew it was something that would get under your skin. “Who said I’m not doing what I want? Just because you can’t handle the thought of caring about another human being doesn’t mean I can’t too.”

“That’s what you want? A nice house with a nice job and a nice car and a nice boy who praises everything you do? I’m not convinced, but if that’s what life is about for you,” He paused briefly, turning away from the sink and taking a step towards you, “then I hope you fucking hate every second of it.”

White noise filled your eardrums, blood rushed to your face, and you stick a pointer finger in his chest as you respond “What makes you think I care about your opinion? Why would anything you say hold any meaning to me? You’re just scared because you know you’ll end up alone and sad regardless.”

A shift in Leon’s eyes signal you touched a nerve, and his usually flippant demeanor suddenly morphed into a look of fury that you had yet to observe up close. You became increasingly aware of the wall behind you and the way Leon continued to press forward, leaving minimal space between the two of you.

The tone of his voice when he spoke was lower than before and raspy, as if he was fighting an internal battle to not smash something. “You think you’re some untouchable princess that gets whatever you want handed over on a silver fucking platter, but I swear to god,” his voice dropped impossibly lower as he placed one hand on either side of your head, caging you in against the wall, “I could ruin every good thing about you right now if I wanted to.”

Centimeters separated your faces, heavy breathing filled the space as both of you stared the other down, not willing to be the first one to break away. “Such a fucking shame that someone as pretty as you has to be so damn ugly,” he begins twirling a strand of your hair around his finger, “I guess nice guys finish last because you don’t let them come first, huh?”

Your breath was caught in your throat at the implication behind his words, mind reeling both at the way you wanted to break his nose and also prove him wrong. “Nice guys finish last, Leon , because they know how to be a gentleman unlike you.”

Your voice comes out shakier than intended, but you stand your ground, eyes locked onto his as he suddenly stops twirling and instead grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls your head back into the wall with a thud. “Maybe so, but nice guys don’t know how to fully satisfy you, do they? Always left wanting more, just like everything else in your life.”

Leon’s grip in your hair was brutal, keeping you in place as his whispered insults travel the short distance to your ear and his mouth ghosts over the skin of your neck. “You haven’t asked me what I want in life, princess.”

You draw in a slow breath, extremely aware of every nerve on the right side of your neck where Leon’s teeth nip at you. “Why should I care what you want, asshole?”

“Because, darling, I think you might like it.” You feel a wicked grin spread over his face as he bites down, hard, right under the curve of your jaw. “I want everyone downstairs to know you like screaming my name in more ways than one.”

Another bite, just below the first.

“I want to show you that you don’t deserve anyone better than me.”

A third bite lands even lower than the others.

“And, I want you to admit that it feels good to give up for once.” Leon’s tongue presses flat against your throat, moving swiftly up over the places he just bit, his spit cooling the fire on your skin only slightly.

“Tell me I’m wrong, and I’ll stop, but if you say nothing, well, there’s no one here to stop me from taking what I want is there?” Leon lifted his head back up to meet your eyes, dark pools of anger staring as you fight to try to form a sentence, a word even, to tell him to get the fuck away from you and leave you alone for good.

You pause for a second too long, Leon now placing both hands on your shoulders and practically throwing you on your knees in front of him. Letting out a groan of pain as you land on the tile, Leon looks down at you with nothing but a grandiose aura surrounding him. “Look at you, on your knees for someone you claim to hate so badly.”

“You shoved me down here, now my knee hurts and I’m too drunk to want to get up.” The sentence comes tumbling out of your mouth, embarrassment rising and rapidly overtaking the red hot rage fueling you before.

“Sure, but I bet if I took my cock out you’d suck it anyways, wouldn’t you? You want to be a slut, don’t you? But it would ruin the perfect little image everyone has of you.”Leon leans down to place a hand around your throat, squeezing so hard you think you might pass out before anything else can happen. “I know you, and I know you’re willing to take whatever the fuck I’m about to give you, so shut the fuck up and open that disgusting mouth of yours.”

He releases the grip on your throat and you let out a cough, gasping for the air that was so forcibly removed from you, and sit back on your heels without saying a word. You glare up at him, and if love is thinking someone planted the stars in the sky just for you, your hatred for Leon was as if he had stolen each and every one for himself, leaving behind a trail of tears everywhere he went. Leon makes quick work of removing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, pulling them down around his thighs and revealing the aching hard on hiding beneath. You steal a glance at it, taking note of how easy it would be to punch him and run for it, but something keeps you frozen in place and waiting for his next move.

A hand angrily grabs at your face, gripping the sides of your jaw and a calloused thumb reaches to force your lips to part. “By the way,” he drops his hand away and pulls his briefs down in one motion, “I’m not going to apologize if I leave bruises,” he takes the base of his cock in one hand and brings the tip up to meet your mouth, precum glazing over your bottom lip, “and I definitely won’t apologize when I finish first.”

With a harsh thrust forward,Leon forces his entire cock into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat and causing you to choke around him. He takes a sharp inhale between gritted teeth, looking down and whispering a string of curse words before moving his hips back only to immediately slam himself into your mouth again.

Tears spring to the corners of your eyes almost instantly, the force of him fucking into your mouth causing your head to hit the wall before he snakes fingers into your hair and holds you still. The sounds of spit and breathy moans fill the bathroom, faint music from downstairs is heard as Leon sets a relentless pace on your throat.

“Fuck, look at you, such a dirty fucking slut. I wish everyone could see you right now, gagging on my fucking cock and whining like a little bitch.”Leon’s words send a tremor down your spine as you look back up at him with blurry eyes and tear stained cheeks. “No one will ever want you when they find out what a whore you are. Just a toy for others to play with. Fuck.” Leon suddenly pulls out of your mouth, the hand in your hair forcing you to a standing position as the other rips open the button down shirt you had on. He makes quick work of pulling it off you, kicking his pants into a corner at the same time. He pushes you to the other side of the room, stomach pressed against the edge of the sink as you stare at yourself in the mirror.

“Be a good fucking whore for me and take those pants off, yeah?” He whispers menacingly into your ear, the implication of what’s about to happen dancing on his tongue with each syllable. You find yourself complying, too shaken from the events that are unfolding to put on a facade of denial. Slowly, you push your jeans down and over the curve of your ass, and as soon as skin is exposed a harsh slap is delivered, sending you forward and clutching onto the counter edge.

“Hurry the fuck up, bitch, you think I want this to last all night?”Leon growls out, taking your pants the rest of the way off in one aggressive pull. You let out a whimper as the skin on your ass turns red and the shape of Leon’s hand appears to mark the sinful acts being done. “Look at yourself, bent over and naked, crying and panting like a fucking dog, and I haven’t even fucking touched you. Pathetic.”

You can’t help the small and high pitched moan that escapes your mouth, something about the way he was saying these things to you made you completely pliant under him. You didn’t want to admit it, but you wondered if there was anybody else who could make you feel like this.

“Leon-” Another hard slap is delivered, this time on the back of your thigh, and it makes your knees weak enough where you feel like it’d be easier to crumple back down on the floor.

“Did I say you could fucking talk? I don’t want to hear a word from you unless I ask, and even then it should only be you begging me to fuck you.” Suddenly a hand was pulling your hair again, this time forcing you to make eye contact with him in the mirror as he jerked himself off with his free hand. “Say yes if you understand.”

The pain was mixing with pleasure at this point, sharp and shooting but so fucking sweet. You gasp out at the whiplash of being manhandled this way and liking it. “Y-yes.” Your voice is a whisper and you’re unsure if he even heard it at all, but then he arches your head back somehow further and spits on you without warning, and you can barely think about anything at all regardless.

“Yes, what?” He smiles at you, not kindly and not the way someone who was enjoying themselves would. No, instead, he smiled at you like he owned you. Like you were a prize he only won because he knew he could. Like you were merely a pawn in a game of chess that he played with his eyes closed. And it drove you fucking crazy.

“You don’t deserve more than the yes, asshole.” You gasp out in between breaths, body trembling and aching from the aggression being taken out on you.

That sealed your fate, the grip in your hair going limp as he takes his cock and lines it up with your entrance, not even bothering to check if you were ready though you knew he didn’t care either way. Rough hands found their way to either side of your hips, a bruising grip as he pulled you back onto his dick, beginning to pound into you using years of pent up anger to fuel him. One hand slid it’s way up and around to the front of your throat, squeezing again over the bite marks he left behind earlier.

He paused for a second, his dick deep inside you and your breathing uneven and ragged at the sheer size of him. You hated that it felt good, hated that you wanted him to break you in half.

“Still think I only deserve a yes?” Leon saw the way your eyes rolled back as he thrusted in, noticed the hitch in your breathing and the way your hips have started rotating in circular motions since he stopped. He picked up on all of it, and now he was a man on a goddamn mission.

You felt him bend down to grab something off the floor, hearing the jingle of his belt as he replaced his hand with the cool leather, looping it through and pulling the end of it like it was a fucking leash. “Remember when I said I wouldn’t apologize for leaving bruises?”

You didn’t have time to answer before he started thrusting into you again, the pace somehow faster and harder than before and making you see white spots in your vision. He tugged back on the belt, the lack of oxygen to your brain making everything else heightened as if you were free falling off the Empire State building.

You reached your hands out to place flat against the mirror, sweaty palms leaving behind streaks as Leon’s dick broke you down over and over until you weren’t even holding yourself up, the belt around your neck the only thing keeping you from slamming your face into the countertop.

The sounds you let fall out of your mouth somewhere between a cry and a moan echoed off the walls and mixed with the sound of skin hitting skin. Leon suddenly releases his deathgrip on the belt and pulls it off your head, never letting his pace falter, and gripping it in one hand. You let your head fall forwards, gasping and entire body shaking, he lifts one of your legs up onto the edge of the sink driving himself deeper inside you, forcing out a choked “f-fucking sh-shit, Leon.”

The crack of leather against skin breaks through the noise, causing you to yell out and try to move towards the mirror and away. Leon’s grip is strong as he moves you back to the edge, “remember what I fucking said about not talking?” Another slap from the belt blanks out your mind, every thought in your head nothing short of a pleading cry for more.

“Pl-please.” You choke out through sobs, weak and feeble, and you can see the way it makes the fire in Leon’s eyes ignite. He looks like a predator, like something that could swallow you whole and leave no trace you existed, and it makes you sick realizing you would let him.

“There it is,” Leon groans, “begging like the fucking slut I knew you were. Too bad I don’t. fucking. care.” He throws the belt back to the floor, hands digging into your sides leaving crescent shaped imprints and red scratch marks. His voice is rough around the edges, eyes roaming every inch of your body as he continues to fuck into you.

You feel the sensations pooling in your lower stomach, the intensity of everything catching up with you as you continue sobbing and pleading with him to just fucking touch you more. But, a man of his word, Leon’s pace becomes sloppy and his moans grow louder as he reaches his high.

A final hard thrust jerks you forward, hands splayed in front of you as he throws his head back and groans, finishing inside you. He continues to fuck you through his orgasm, out of breath and covered in a layer of sweat, both of you significantly less drunk than when this all started. Leon pulls out and you let slip a small whine at the feeling of loss as you collapse onto the counter when he lets go of your hips. You attempt to catch your breath and ground yourself again as Leon walks around cleaning himself off with the towel he had used on his face earlier. He tosses the towel in your general direction, landing on your back and causing your body to twitch involuntarily.

You glance up in the mirror, looking at the bruises covering your neck and shoulders, and see Leon sliding his clothes back onto his body. “What are you doing?” You wanted it to sound more mean, but it comes out needy and desperate.

“I got what I wanted, now have a good fucking time explaining this to everybody else.” And with that,Leon flashes a terrifyingly calm smile as he gathers the rest of his things off the floor and walks out of the room, leaving you with his cum dripping down your thighs and slouched over, alone.

You let out a sigh, “I fucking hate him so much.”

[roseaesynstylae]

So, the idea of the Bad Batch (minus Echo, plus Emerie) being the other half of the Nulls has consumed my goddamn mind. Therefore, as you do when an idea takes up residence in your frontal lobe for the foreseeable future, here's some headcanons.

The Bad Batch (except for Echo and Omega, who have no clue what's going on) hate the Nulls. As in, "murder on sight" hate them. From an in-universe perspective, there could be a myriad of reasons, ranging from feelings of abandonment to resentment over them having a better life. From a writer's standpoint, it's because I love me some good old familial dysfunction and angst.

The more...unhinged...tendencies the Nulls are known for manifests in the Bad Batch more as "let's jump off this cliff and use explosives to direct our fall!" and less as "hey, check out my new skin gloves!" Of course, if you push them too far, it's a different story. In order of least to most likely to pull a "lemme turn you into an art installation," it's Omega, Wrecker, Hunter, Crosshair, and Tech. Omega wouldn't do that, at least not at this point in her life. Wrecker, when enraged, goes for the just-hit-them solution. Hunter's a decent human being and usually wouldn't do something like that...Unless his kid's been kidnapped by a crazy Imperial doctor for the fifteenth time, on which point he starts becoming a little deranged. Crosshair hovers close to the line but wouldn't do it to someone unprovoked. Tech is a special case, in that he has to be pushed, but when he is, the results make the rest of the Nulls go "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST."

The Nulls want to reunite with their lost siblings and build a relationship, but that's kind of hard to do when said siblings (except Omega) keep trying to kill them on sight and none of them were built for intricate and deeply complicated emotional issues. Still, they persist. Eventually, they could probably get to the level of "awkward conversations" but it'll take a lot of work.

The Bad Batch have what makes the Nulls superior to regular clone troopers, plus their unique enhancements (which in this version are less defects and more Nala Se picking an attribute for each of them and cranking it up to 11). They feel that it makes them better than the Nulls, something they're not shy about expressing.

Emerie is the same height as her estranged (I can't think of a word that applies to this specific situation but this one will do) brothers, because I stan a tall queen.

Nala Se is smug as hell whenever she sees Orun Wa. "CT-9904 just broke all records for accuracy, CT-9902 discovered a new element, CT-9903 crushed beskar like it was paper, and CT-9901 tracked a man through five systems and a solar storm. What are your clones doing, again?"

There is no understating the sheer "wtf" that goes through the Nulls' heads when they first see Omega. But, of course, this is Omega. Imagine the cutest image of her you've seen, fanart or canon. That's what the Nulls see when they meet her. Unsurprisingly, the Nulls, who got the Mandalorian gene to adopt anything that isn't nailed down, go from "wtf" to "so smol 🥰" in roughly a minute.

Kal Skirata is in the corner. His attempt to interact with the Bad Batch did not go well. He casually calls Hunter "son," as he does with various characters, and the resulting explosion puts a thermal detonator to shame. Since it's clear that his presence is not making things better, he's sort of just in the corner.

The rest of Clan Skirata, and associates, are staying out of this. Gilamar and Vau took one look and retreated to the bar because they know better than to get involved. Everyone else witnessed one of the less acrimonious encounters and collectively decided that they are not jumping into the emotional equivalent of a pit of rabid wolverines.

Echo is the go-between. He does not want to be the go-between. But he's the only neutral party in this thing aside from Omega, and the rest of the Batch don't trust the Nulls with her.

Spare a though for 99. He raised four of these guys, often with the aid of leashes. Truly, he is an unsung hero of the Clone Wars

[cdroloisms]

fuck it i'm making this c!awesamdreamity sitcom AU (dr3 edition) a real thing for the funnies alone. why the hell not

premise: they get thrown into a sitcom. that's it. they're in a sitcom world that plays by sitcom rules, which means that everything that occurs Has to conceivably work within the genre. that means no throwing dream in a cell underground and treating him as a prisoner, sam, that's not funny enough. they can't leave or escape, and if they try to do something that Doesn't work within the genre they'll either just be completely unable to do it or they'll be foiled in some genre-specific way (ex: sam tries to build a cell on the property anyway and ends up in a three-episode arc about his fight with HOA)

the main point of this set up is that anything is technically possible as long as it works within the bit. also, yes, there's a laugh track, and whether or not the characters can hear it has everything to do with what's the funniest option (c!sam fucking hates the thing, for the record.)

highlights of this include:

the sitcom Demands A Relationship. because neither c!quackity nor c!sam is willing to do the whole married couple spiel with c!dream, that means that c!awesamq are the ones that are officially "together." this goes so fucking badly and is like, the primary reason why i'm making this a thing in the first place

c!dream isn't Allowed to be a prisoner, but he does have to stay within the house. between the genre and c!awesamq's opinions, he's not really going to end up as just "the roommate" or family or you know, an official third part of the throuple, so the maid it is

a level of violence is allowed but like, the actual pain/consequences has everything to do with whether it works For The Bit or For The Drama. like, c!q might hit c!dream with the car and nothing will happen bc it'll be played off as a punchline, for example, but also a dramatically timed fall might lead to someone walking around with a broken arm for an 'episode' or two. there's no magical accelerated healing here, just the Power Of The Bit

similarly, a lot will be allowed to slide as long as you're genre savvy about it. c!quackity won't be able to get away with outright torturing c!dream for hours, of course, but pushing him around is fine as long as it's funny enough. especially if it comes with a side of romantic drama

speaking of the romantic drama, hoo boy are c!awesamq a fucking TRAIN WRECK. like my god are they so toxic. c!sam is literally the quintessential asshole condescending boyfriend on that server and c!q has a quick fuse, a hell of a temper, and generally reacts to being talked down to with several knives and cursing. they take to a domestic romantic relationship as a fish does to . uh. lava maybe. like it's BAD

think screaming slammed doors things being thrown there's a glass sailing towards c!sam's head screaming over the banisters holes in the drywall fine! FINE! [laugh track] bad. it'd be gloriously, ridiculously toxic. the crowd goes wild

c!quackity has to contend with the fact that his husband is absolutely down horrendous FOR THEIR STUPID GODDAMN MAID .

the maid also wants his husband more than quackity :/ sidelined in his own relationship once again (i wonder why, Q)

how well they adjust has everything to do with how well they acclimate to the genre. c!quackity does the best job--he knows how to play a crowd and do so well. c!sam by FAR acclimates the worst. he's inherently completely offended by the idea of everything about his job and the prison being turned into Entertainment, into something Funny, into A Show To Consume and basically reacts to the sitcom thing by trying to ignore it. this, of course, means that he ends up generally being the butt of the joke

c!dream is. well. at least he's got less stress about dying i guess. and is generally a lot less injured bc starvation and torture lead to lower comedy ratings smh. is still kinda in hell but you know yesterday he got to watch c!quackity hit c!sam over the head with a frying pan and literal cartoon birds appeared so

honestly he's kinda quietly having an existential crisis and lowkey earning sympathy points from the proverbial audience by being the one that comes off the least as Just The Complete And Utter Worst

(meanwhile: c!sam is yelling at c!quackity for how he's apparently cut up all of his dress shirts while c!quackity screams back about something something and he can stick the scissors up his ass)

[laugh track]

[apprenticestanheight]

I've seen some fics of these, but I'll never turn down a coffinshipping fic where Strahm has to patch up Hoffman from when Jill uses the Reverse Bear-Trap on him. It's just sweet to me that although they hate each other, they love each other or are rather obsessed with each other, and yet Strahm would stitch up Hoffman's face... even though Hoffman put Strahm through two deadly traps 😆

Cat and Mouse- Hoffstrahm

Hi!! I am so sorry that this took as long as it did--I swear I meant to do it but stuff gets buried really quickly in my inbox and my track record with object permanence is kind of terrible, which definitely applies to requests as a lot of the time they're left to sit until I work through a backlog.

HOWEVER, this is my second coffinshipping fic and in my saw rewatch I am barely halfway into the second movie so I apologize if their characterizations are at all off, I like to think I've nailed my characterization of Hoffman but I haven't written for Strahm very much so my characterization of him might not be perfect and the same goes for how I've written their interactions.

Fic type- this is some light angst

Warnings- mentions of canon-typical saw violence, murder, and this has been edited but not very well--be wary of spelling and grammatical errors, I wrote this while tired and edited it while also tired.

Peter should probably be putting a gun to Mark Hoffmans head, if he's being honest with himself. He should be holding a gun to Marks head and demanding a confession or some kind of acknowledgement of the crimes he'd committed under the Jigsaw alias, but he's not.

He's not because Mark showed up at his house and gestured to a very gruesome looking wound on the side of his face, and when Mark wordlessly asked Peter to stitch him up, before he could think through his response, Peter was agreeing and grabbing a towel and a first aid kit with a needle and thread inside while instructing Mark to sit on the couch.

And then he was wetting the towel with antiseptic to clean the wound, telling Mark he was getting what he deserved when he flinched away or shouted with his discomfort. And then he was actively helping a serial killer.

He recalls the words that Perez had told him once, just before he'd interviewed Jill Tuck that first time.

"You should be careful," she said. "Especially with mostly unsolved cases like this one, that work ethic of yours can turn into obsession real quick. Hatred for someone might as well be able to turn into obsession with the drop of a hat, Peter, so I'd watch myself. Make sure it wasn't an obsession before I kept on with the case."

At the time, Peter had scoffed at the notion. "I'm not becoming obsessed," he'd told her, even pairing it with a smirk, like a smirk could've been convincing. "And if I am, hatred and obsession will prove to be so dangerous a line to walk that I step away anyway. I know that much--I know when to step away from my work."

But, Peter supposes he should've known that he would know when to step away from his work in all aspects except for whichever one concerned Mark Hoffman, who he felt a deep disdain for and yet wanted to know everything about all at once.

Of course the line blurred whenever Mark looked at him, had been particularly blurry as he stitched up a wound caused by one of Hoffmans so-called enemies, Jill fucking Tuck herself.

"She put a trap on me," Mark explains as Peter finishes the stitches. "That fucking bitch put a goddamned trap on me, claiming it was Johns will and all that other shit."

"I really don't want specifics, Hoffman," Peter says dryly. "You put me into two deadly fucking traps, yeah? I don't need to hear about whichever woman you've made an enemy out of, even if I hate her as much as the next person."

Mark smiles at him. Peter doesn't know if he wants to punch him square in the lips or pull him into a kiss so intense it shocks the air out of their lungs.

"You do realize what I have to do if you let me leave this house not in handcuffs, yeah?"

Peter runs his tongue over his teeth, stands up from the crouching position he'd taken while stitching up Hoffmans wound.

"I do," he says. "You're going to go kill a relatively innocent woman because she followed what I am presuming to be the will of John fuckin' Kramer, who was her murderous ex husband who willingly put innocent people to death. Yeah, I think that's easy enough to follow, Hoffman."

Mark stands, grins at Peter.

"You realize that letting me go means the chase continues?"

Peter shrugs. "You'll slow down one of these days, Hoffman. You serial killers always do. When you do get slow I'll catch you and be the one to put your ass behind bars."

Mark looks to his feet, "I really do wish this could've been different," he says.

Peter forces himself to look at the brown color he'd chosen for his curtains.

"You have fifteen seconds to be down the street and turning the corner before I start chasing you and eventually arrest your ass," he says, feeling conflicted as he speaks.

The simple truth is that Mark Hoffman is a serial killer. The simple truth is the fact that Peter should be putting him into handcuffs and bringing him to the station while he declares the Jigsaw killer caught once and for all.

But, when has their relationship ever been simple, really? Peter cannot pinpoint a moment of simplicity from it's beginning.

So, when Mark nods, bolts out the front door, Peter lets him go. He falls into the couch with a monumentally tired sigh and presses his face into the palm of his hand. A few minutes pass, and he laughs to himself.

He and Mark are in a cat and mouse scenario, and while Peter hates it, he also knows that he wouldn't have it any other way.

[imzsuzsis-blog]

"Second place again... I hate this whole thing."

"Lando, since you've been coughing, not so much, but we're scared of girls inside."

“Shut up!!! You know how shitty it was when I was out, sometimes one kicker, sometimes the other. Because they were really bothered by the loud noise my car made."

I sat and coughed on my cell phone to see what the news was about me.

"They're starting to screw me up again!!! What the fuck are they talking about, Martin's girlfriend? Huh? I only get a fucking jacket out of my closet because it was windy.”

I grimaced and hit the table with my palm, and yes, you felt that too, it was very embarrassing.

"No, stop it, it's embarrassing, please."

I pursed my lips, stood up and started to support the wall and caressed my growing belly to finally calm down.

"Girls, don't worry, no more loud noises, the day is over."

I looked down and inside I knew I shouldn't be here, I should be somewhere else, but not here, because this belly is already too big to sit in a car, but there is a big trial, Pato can't be here and we don't know how long I will compete.

"Pato, you have to live there."

I muttered sadly to myself and looked at Loki, who was talking to the object of my deception, Oscar. I would have liked to have gone there, but I froze at the sight because I knew I was committing a crime by cheating on Loki, with Oscar, and all this was due to the fact that I was kidnapped.

I was sitting next to Lando in the car, we were late again as usual, the formula 3 will soon be on the track, we're fucking late, Pato wrote that he's already in Vegas at the airport hotel if there's a problem, he'll be there in Silverstone with his sister if he can.

"Lando, is everything okay?"

"Not really... My throat hurts so bad I can't even swallow a cup of tea."

He said very sad and with a cup of tea in his hand.

"Relax, Pato wrote somewhere in Vegas, he's in an airport hotel, he'll come as he can."

"Calm down, calm down... Don't say shit... It's like Bia sitting in my place, you bastard."

"Deep air Lando, think about it, you picked it up somewhere and now your throat hurts. It could be vocal chorditis, I had it a few years ago."

"If it was, I wouldn't be able to speak, stupid."

"tonsillitis?"

"Maybe, but if it's more serious, I'd take my tonsils out, you fucker."

He got angry next to me and then ran away with a plastic cup of tea and drank it while doing so. In his eyes, I've become the rotting scumbag he can beat on the track today, both in the sprint and the time trial.

"Ahh, hello, are you Loki?"

I turned around and a completely different guy than Lando was standing in front of me.

,,Yes me... Ohh You are Oliver's brother..."

,,I am interested..."

,,No, he is not pregnant by me, but by Ollie Bearman"

,,Thanks, but..."

,,Ah...According to my last information, Magui is currently in Portugal. "

"It's not her, the little bitch doesn't even excite us, I'm happy for her if she's hung up on the family and doesn't want to get on them and other celebrities, the money-seeking bitch."

"Is it the (cold) Influenza?"

"No, why is he dating a guy who is even older than him, who isn't even famous yet?"

“ It doesn't bother me, but the media, as I see it, does... “

“That my younger brother is not dating a celebrity..."

I looked at my cell phone, which was full of it. That Lando Norris is not dating a model, social media, singer, athlete or actor. But with someone whose occupation is mundane and earns little in comparison. I put my phone down and hugged Oliver with tears in my eyes because everyone was a jerk to us, I love being a teacher and I wouldn't leave my job for any money. Not even when they write about us.

"Loki, he's my brother... Everything... I'm still talking about the Spanish Grand Prix and last week... Fuck you..."

I held my mouth and cried. Idiot teens record my every fucking move and put it on fucking TikTok without my permission. I've reported and banned several such fucking accounts there. Due to invasion of privacy and harassment. But unfortunately, most fake profiles and they are powerless against it. As with Insta, I don't dare leave the house anymore, even if Amanda strongly recommends it to me.

"Lando, Lando, I have already reported and banned such things, not only on TikTok. But Insta is also, and yes, most of the fake profiles are from somewhere in Africa. Or from parts of America who just want to parasitize or abuse your name. Because they know if you don't have ASD and they love to take advantage of that."

——————————————-

The reality

Lando, snoring and for some reason in his nightgown, crossed his arms and slept soundly, I couldn't get it together and I was dreaming wild things again. I took his arm off me, got up and went to the window and yawned and looked out, but I couldn't see anything except the dark sky and the constellations. I started sipping my water, this stupid dream prepared me for him and Oscar to fight over a competition, stupidity. Lando also got up and blinked at me, he couldn't speak, not only his team doctor and the pilots' doctor told him, but also in the hospital. He has vocal chorditis, but unfortunately he is forced to speak because his profession has to somehow communicate with the press.

"My dear, don't speak, you know you need to rest your vocal cords."

I went back to him unfortunately, he was still coughing as bad as before, he was taking the medicines prescribed by him, which they said a pregnant man could take, but it was of no use to him.

"Would gargling be good?"

I kissed his forehead and felt that his stupid fever was not going away.

"Siri, Amanda!"

I told him in despair, afraid that it was a big problem.

"hospital, Loki, you two may have done everything, but how dangerous was it for the girls..."

I couldn't believe it, we touched our foreheads too, and he too burst into tears when he heard the word hospital. Until now, we only used homemade prakits so that the girls would be well and survive the whole nine months, but not now. He caressed my face while crying and shaking his head he coughed into his other forearm, much uglier than before.

"I have viral pneumonia and I was expecting the news."

I bit my lip, I think it was like that for Loki, how could he have told him that I have Covid again.

"Loki, there's no problem working on it so that you can... Sorry... compete, if my brother isn't here, they'll sit here instead of me, and at the next grand prix... Sorry... Pato will go instead."

"Lando, this is bullshit. Oliver is a simulator racer, they will just find someone who can take your place while you will be a guest of a nearby hospital from tonight."

He hugged me and showed me the ugliest cough in the world and looked down.

"Next time... I'm sorry... But Bia is there."

I saw that it was going to be a gas, he closed his eyes, opened them and passed out.

[jpitha]

Hidden Depths 10

Awakenings 1 2 3 4

Hidden Depths 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

As Nilan and Ta'reni left the office, Chloe turned to James and Fellmeli. "Vivenni is on the right track. We're going to need some help if we're going to survive this. Whoever was in system is enough for now, but soon the Venusians are going to be done doing whatever it is they're doing and really attack. We'll need to be ready."

"Agreed, but what are we going to do?" James said.

"Also, what about the folks on the Reach?" Fellmeli added.

"Like I said, I know someone. I linked a beacon out as soon as the attack started. If we're lucky, they should be here soon. Meanwhile, you should send word down to them to pack up and get ready to evacuate up here. If things go bad, Starbase can link away now. There's no need to subject them to domination by Venus."

"Okay, I'll get a message composed and sent down right away" Fellmeli said, and turned to leave.

"James, I need your help too." Chloe gestured to him to follow. James looked at Fellmeli who shrugged and went into the other room to record another message.

As they walked Chloe didn't check to see if James was following, she just started talking. "There's a K'laxi onboard we need to find."

"Another one?"

"Yes. Her name is Cereni and she is one of the best loadmasters I've ever seen. She'll be needed to get the dropship that is coming loaded up and secured for the ride up. I know she lives here but..." Chloe paused. "She won't be pleased to hear from me. Can you reach out?"

James raised an eyebrow. "If I do, and she agrees to help, won't she be extra mad that you asked someone else on your behalf for help? She might just leave then when she learns that."

Chloe sighed. She hated to admit James was right. "Okay, yes. I'll talk to her." She clicked her headset. "Starbase! Can you tell me where Cereni Hemiganian is?

"One moment please Chloe."

****

Cereni had made it back to her quarters. The attack was still ongoing but there seemed to not be as much of a direct threat as a couple hours earlier, so Starbase said everyone could leave the shelters, but had to go home and stay there for now. Hopefully, whoever was out there would do what they came to do and leave, or be repelled by the forces in system.

She was sitting down to a late meal when the door chimed. "Who is it?" She called over the annunciator.

There was a slight pause. "It's Chloe."

She laughed. "Chloe it hasn't even been half a year, and you're back? You know my answer. No."

Chloe sighed over the open channel. "Cereni, I'm sorry. What I did was wrong, and I should have told you the truth from the get go. You and Sophie should have been more informed about what I was asking you to do. I did not intend to blow the reactors on Spruces, but I saw an opportunity for an edge and I took it. I can't even find Sophie to apologize to her, she's ignored all my messages. Can you at least open the door so we can talk?"

The door clicked open. Cereni stood there arms akimbo. She was annoyed at how attracted she was to Chloe and yet how mad she made her.

"Come in then. I'm just sitting down to eat, do you want anything?"

"Actually, I could really go for some tea if you have any."

Cereni flicked her ear. "Alright, sure. Let's have some tea and talk."

****

After a few cups of tea, Cereni was trying to understand what was going on.

"So, it's the Imperial...."

"Imperial Venusian Navy yes"

"And they've declared that AIs aren't people?"

"Yes."

"Which we all don't agree with."

"I should hope not!"

"But why are they here? Why now? Why not just stay in the Sol system and make their little proclamations from there?"

Chloe shrugged and took another sip of tea. "I really don't know. Maybe they defeated the OPA, maybe they haven't and are trying to capture more materiel for their war effort back home. Maybe this is just a vanguard to see how soft - or not - the colonies are and will come with a larger force later. Regardless, they are here, they don't think I or anyone like me should be alive and if they capture us, it will not be pleasant."

Cereni leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Why me though?"

"You know the colony on the planet below? Zen'ma'gan's Reach?"

"Yeah, K'laxi colony; older than Starbase, but never really took off. The planet is too dry for us, it never got much past the initial town they founded when they landed."

"The Venusians won't be nice to them if they capture Starbase. We need to get them off world."

"That's doable I guess. There's time for them to pack, and we..." she gasped. "You called Abyssal Plains!"

Chloe nodded. "I don't know if they'll come, but if they do, they are going to need a loadmaster, and I remember Abyssal saying you were their best."

Cereni smirked. "Chloe, that's...so sweet. You remembered such a small detail about me and was able to use it to try and help the people down on the Reach."

Even though she was an AI in an artifical body, she still felt things; the builders of AI bodies are very thorough. Chloe blushed, just a bit.

"Well, yes, Um. It's good to know the skills of people around you in case they're needed. It's just good planning." She managed.

"Uh huh." Cereni said, still smiling. She drained her tea.

"I'll help. I won't forget how upset I was before, but I will remember how you apologized and came to me with all the information this time." She looked at Chloe. "You did come to me with all the information this time, yes?"

Chloe blurted out: "Well, Starbase is also made up of an old Starjumper named Picaresque who we had thought had been offloaded when the Starjumper was integrated into Starbase but wasn't and was just dormant until Gord found out and woke him up and that's what cased the gravity anolomy earlier today, but that wasn't related to the Venusians attacking."

Cereni opened her mouth to reply but Chloe continued.

"Also, we just asked a very cute human and k'laxi couple to go to K'lax and ask on our behalf for help defending ourselves from the Venusians."

Cereni closed her mouth. There was no stopping Chloe now.

"And also Gord - he's a really old AI, older than me - and Lucas - I don't know who he is, but he seems useful - decided to go grab a couple Starjumpers and accelerate up to a quarter of the speed of light to attach to the human colony ship Mt Greylock - which is currently breaking to come in system - and slow them down quicker so they can link over because then we'll have another source of ships and materiel that can be used in our defense.

Cereni's ears flattened.

"That's pretty much it though. She clicked her headset. Starbase, Picaresque, did I miss anything?"

"No Chloe, that's pretty much it I think." Picaresque answered. "Good evening Cereni, my name is Picaresque. I'm here with Starbase."

Cereni's mouth was agape. "There's two of you now?"

"Yes, it's a little cramped in here, but we're getting by" Starbase said. "Picaresque gave me access to the systems still inside him that were never integrated over, so now we have a wormhole generator, two more reactors and even a Starjumper class weapons battery! Just the one though, so we'll have to save it for defense."

"Wow. Um, okay." Cereni looked at Chloe, who was trying very hard to not look worried. "Thank you Chloe for your honesty even if it was a little...much."

"I-I didn't want you to think I was keeping anything from you."

"Yes, I believe you."

"So, you'll help?"

"Yes. I'll help." Cereni stood. "Just one more thing, who is Gord again?"

She told him.

"THE MAPLE GUY????"

Chloe laughed. "He will be entirely too pleased with himself if that becomes his legacy."

"Come on, let's go. We should get ready for Abyssal's arrival. I could also use your help with the loading on Starbase. If we have to link away, we're going to have to see how far down we can condense things and that'll mean moving mass around."

"Lead the way then Chloe." and she took her hand.

Chloe had a very small intake of breath, and squeezed it gently back.

They walked out towards the Administrators office together.

Part 11!

[septic-dr-schneep]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @sneakyfox55 :D This should be fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

It says 894 but I've anonymized some older/lower quality fics so those aren't accounted for in the public number. Including those, it's 1045!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

At the moment it's 1,760,756!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The big ones have been Tolkien, Transformers, JSE and Markiplier, Undertale and Marvel!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Locks To Fit The Keys The Little Things Out of Suffering Come Strong Souls Tell Me Where It Hurts In All But Name

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Feedback is love, feedback is life! Comments fuel me to keep creating :D There are some I wasn't able to respond to at the time because I was too busy/tired/ill/etc. but I do my best to get to as many as I can!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Wrong Turn, Dying Light and Last Words come to mind because they all involve everyone dying horribly. Sorry...

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Retrouvailles is just a ball of warm and fuzzy family feelings <3

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have on a couple of occasions, usually because someone didn't like my characterization or I declined to write ships that made me uncomfortable.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I gave it a try back in the day before I figured out I was ace and sex-repulsed. Since then I've sworn off it :'D

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! My Fran Bow + Undertale crossover is one of my favorites but the weirdest one was probably The Hobbit + Doctor Who XD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I have seen another writer use my OCs without crediting me but when I brought it up, they were apologetic so it was resolved cordially.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have, I just can't remember which one it was at the moment asfjks

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I have, with a couple of different roleplay partners. It's been a while though; I've found I prefer art collabs over writing collabs.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know if I have an all-time favorite; I usually prefer platonic, QPRs and familial dynamics. Grillby/Muffet and Eowyn/Faramir come to mind, though; they're adorable!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Just yesterday I was feeling guilty for the umpteenth time over leaving the tenth (and arguably most important) part of The Pacemakers series unfinished. I posted what I had of it so my readers could know how it would have gone but still...

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm pretty good at detailing high-intensity emotions and the effects they have on the characters so the readers can feel them too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually finishing longer fics :'D I have a terrible track record of cliffhanger WIPs and trust me, it frustrates me just as much as it does my readers. I'm not sure how to remedy it, unfortunately.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done it here and there with Dr. Schneeplestein's German and it's a lot of fun! Since I'm not fluent I have to be sparing with it, though; it'd suck to overestimate what I know and end up mistranslating something.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think I wrote something for the 90s TMNT movies? That was before I knew it was even called fanfiction or that there were websites for posting them XD

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

That's such a hard question! I don't know if I could ever pick a #1 without second-guessing it later but In All But Name is pretty far up there <3

No pressure tag for @jacky-rubou! Have fun!

[mbrainspaz]

I can't tell if I'm misunderstanding local culture or if my coworkers are just the rudest people on earth: A sort of tumblr AITA.

Any other south Texans out there, care to add your two cents?

I've lived in several cultures with wildly different gift giving practices so I'm pretty adaptable but since starting my current job in south Texas I'm at a loss for the first time. Having been a person who's struggled to afford food in recent years the best way I know to show gratitude and camaraderie is by gifting and sharing necessities like food, clothing, and shelter. I've always loved cooking for other people. Granted I do cook some weird stuff like curry and gluten free snacks so I don't expect people to want everything I make. I have a pretty stellar track record though. At my old office my deserts were legendary. Still, I'm not offended when someone turns down gifts of any kind. I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to give me anything in return.

Well... I wouldn't have been offended a few rejected gifts, but these people have accepted literally NOTHING I've tried to give them all year—usually just by tossing it aside on a dusty shelf or leaving it sitting out so that I find it later, spoiled. The muffins I made? Left on the counter for 3 days until I finally threw them out. The pumpkin pie with cool whip on thanksgiving? Left sitting on a workbench overnight. The nice warm waterproof coat I made available for the kid who only has a hoodie? Shoved in a dusty sink full of spiders. The spare room in my company house: always open, but they've told me they slept in their cars instead. I've even offered them full access to my kitchen (on the worksite) in case they ever need a snack or a sandwich and NOT ONCE—not even during severe storms—have they ever asked for so much as a breath mint.

I can't wrap my head around it! If someone had offered me any of these things while I was struggling or even just as a kind gesture I would've done everything in my power to show them how grateful I was even if I didn't want whatever they were sharing. The one coworker has literally come up to me at work and talked about how they couldn't afford anything but canned beans for a week—BESTIE, you could've helped yourself to a whole steak I had in the fridge! Or a vegan burger! Have I not told you so a dozen times?! I know what you're thinking: "They clearly hate you!" Not particularly. At least, I try not to let the paranoia get to me. We get along well enough on most other fronts. But wait—there's more!

They also rudely reject all gifts from our boss and clients. A client gave us special cooling scarves in the heat of the summer and I made sure to thank her and be seen wearing mine (it was super nice), and what did my coworkers do with theirs? They're still in the box in the back of a dusty bin. A coffee maker? Also left in its box for 9 months. A mug of hot chocolate? Left to mold. Leftovers of fried chicken and pizza from work meetings goes bad in the break room fridge every time (if I don't eat it). The candy and snacks our boss brings 'round on holidays ends up sitting in the feed room unopened for months (until I finally take it). Sometimes clients bring leftover desserts or donuts, and if I don't take those and put them away they will also sit out until they calcify.

It's no wonder I'm the only one who gets gifts from clients most of the time—I know how to at least ACT grateful. Even if you don't want the thing it's about basic manners.

My two coworkers come from different cultural backgrounds in the sense that one has a rich family and the other has always lived in poverty. Both still own land, horses, and big trucks (because Texas). Both are from south Texas and haven't spent a lot of time in other cultures. My best guess is that this is some kind of sick hyper-individualist mentality bullshit in action. I just don't get it.

No matter what culture you're from I'm pretty sure it's always downright rude to reject gifts the way they do. I'm to the point where I've decided to stop trying to give them anything and I just hope that doesn't make me the bad guy. I'm tired of being insulted for no reason and I hate to see food go to waste. Really at a loss here.

[vampylily]

hold on. peterick sentinel x guide au. the Bond. the slightly unhealthy codependency. having to hold themselves together for the sake of the agency/band even though they're breaking apart. physically needing each other. anger at being forced together but loving each other all the same. hating that one side of the pair is putting themselves in danger for the mission. how many times can i wait for you to come back to me so i can fix you, until one day, you don't?

i feel like either dynamic works.

sentinel!patrick x guide!pete: sentinel!patrick is begrudging towards the whole guide process, which is essentially healing via sex/physical touch and kind of hides away from physical intimacy w his assigned guide!pete. patrick might be new to the agency, but he's lived with his powers for all his life and he prides on having control (but he has that control bc he blew up in the past and he keeps a very tight control on his emotions so it doens't trigger his powers). so even as he goes on missions, he doesn't /need/ pete's guiding. so after the necessary hand holding, patrick usually leaves quickly.

and pete on the other hand, he's been at the agency for longer, and he hasn't found a sentinel. and he's kind of insecure about it, thinks that he's kind of a unstable guide bc of his track record - he'd be paired up with a sentinel and they'd start off as compatible, but as time goes by, it just. stopped working. and while no one has /blamed/ pete, pete kind of blames himself for not being a good guide. so when patrick turns up and pete and patrick has like a super high compatability score, pete is over the moon bc he instantly clicks with this new guy and he really wants it to work. so he puts in the extra work of trying to be really friendly and cheerful, and being clingy and touchy to ease patrick into physical intimacy they'll eventually have to do, but patrick keeps on brushing him off. and pete can feel through their psychic link that patrick doesn't hate him or anything, it's just, it feels like patrick is deliberately putting a wall in between them.

so there's angst and misunderstanding and the slightly dubious consent nature of guiding that pete is now used to, and patrick does not like, until Something Happens and patrick really needs the guiding to heal. more angst. they kiss, they make up, etc. etc.

guide!patrick x sentinel!pete: i feel like this would follow the slightly more usual sentinel guide au route, where we have the super powerful sentinel who is really reckless and is devoted to the mission and doesn't really care if they come back alive (and maybe slightly brainwashed into thinking they're just an asset for the agency). pete's known all his life he's destined for greatness, he's got all this powers, etc and even though he's burning himself alive, he gets back to the field right away. he's never had a guide that was compatible with him, so the pain he feels after a mission is something he's used to.

and guide!patrick. he knows pete isn't doing well, but he feels like there's little he can do. and he's heartsick over constantly waiting for pete to come back, because he wonders every single mission if this one is the one where pete is not going to come back from. and there's this unhealthy edge to it because there's the psychic link and all the emotions are jumbled together.

so when pete first gets the guiding from patrick, his knees almost buckles bc he's never felt this /relief/ before where there's no pain in his body and the sensation of patrick's warm hand in his. so once he's gotten a taste of the guiding, he keeps coming back to get guiding. but it doesn't stop him from continuing to be reckless on missions. it's second nature to him at this point, that he doesn't even consider that he has someone to come back to. and so there's this internal conflict where he knows he has patrick, but it doesn't stop him from going back to his previous behaviour. and there's another sick edge where he's so addicted to the relief the guiding brings, that he almost relishes in being hurt in a mission because that means patrick is going to come and fix him.

and patrick does. he cries, he shakes, his nails cut his palms waiting for pete to come back, but each time, he goes and he "fixes" pete up. and they know what they're doing, /how/ they're carrying out this sentinel/guide bond is wrong, but they can't stop bc they each think they won't be able to heave the other if this stops.

and so there's more angst, Something Big Happens, does pete fails to return from the battlefield one day, does patrick say enough is enough i need to leave, are they forced to carry on like this bc the agency likes the Results? who knows.

[incarnateirony]

Found 2po's super secret source.

She tweeted it out on twitter.

She's literally just another M&G con brat like 2po being sold shit as a consumer and they're all falling for it again, god bless.

Anyway I can't wait for all of 2po's super secret info drops of butchered information next week:

Will you guys PLEASE stop talking to 2po. Not even for me. Just he sucks so fucking hard we find you in like 2 minutes he's gonna fuck your whole world up jesus christ how are you all so lame

Imagine being so cringe you not only pay money to ask them that in a M&G, but expect them to answer honestly while you are in fact paying them for the J2 brand. My god. The stupidity is astounding. Literally just a fundamental lack of understanding of not just this show, or TV, but like, how the world in GENERAL works, holy CHRIST. How do these people not get disappeared in dark alleys being this gullible.

2po's source is SO VERY IN THE KNOW GUYS! He swears. She knows J2 so well she PAYS TO SEE THEM JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. But she's paid a LOT. And obviously, that couldn't be lack of intelligence. That just must mean she really knows them, right, right?

You wanna know why that lane sucks ass at intel? It's because they're this fucking dense. What an absolute clown show. And yet again, 2po's "sources" are revealed to be a circle jerk of nobody consumers in meet and greets, when it isn't a twitter thread, or reddit post, or clickbait article.

I genuinely don't understand how ANYBODY isn't embarrassed to follow him when time and time again he's just shown to be a fraud vaguing his way through shit to sound important. I don't care how much you hate me, or the Winchesters, there HAS to be a limit to how far you grovel at the feet of someone you KNOW is faking at every single turn being proven to be a vagueblogged crosspost from somewhere else he tries to sound special or connected for, and never pans out true, but they keep filing in to hear what they want. Jesus christ. Get some fucking dignity.

2po being this bad with info is also HOW Gayle and Suzanne got busted. I know hookerwitch is trying to delete history like this didn't go viral in front of a couple hundred people while confirmed by MULTIPLE M&G participants even publicly, and/or is letting all of tumblr know how gullible she is, one or the other, but like. Damn. Jesus. Why do you even use this guy. You guys are all dumb but he's like your crem-de-la-crem of incompetence and fucks you up every time. Like the perfect highlighter I get to use all the time to show how you guys are all smoke and mirrors. Big neon yellow lines through your shit.

You guys big mad that 2po fucked up your lies again and made it well recorded? Start taking it up with him. These are his shits he keeps leaving in the pool and the skittles trail only leads one way. If you want people to stop being able to track you straight down to your bullshit, maybe don't work through a braindead goblin that blows up all your lies, plans, twists, spins, rewrites, and everything else.

If you're gonna have a propaganda account in fandom, at least TRY to look competent. But it's too late to put that cat back in the bag, witchy. CE know. TPTB know. Everyone knows. It's just widened the list of people they're looking to expunge, and those people are starting to feel it, displayed by their own shifting attendance. It's over, you lost. Go home. And maybe you should do something about 2po before his incompetence burns down the few things you love that might be left after the transition.

[puff-mmd]

2/5/23

oohhh i'll eventually write details about it (cause as kaisei talks about it, ciro will pop them back to the present with some kind of comment about the story, that's just how he is - a good listener y'know)

but the gist of it is that kaisei had a really good friend growing up, and when they were about 10-11, kaisei made it a little obvious he had a thing for him. they were walking home together, and before the friend left to go to his house, kaisei stopped him and gave him a hug - but it just... felt different. the way kaisei put his arms around his friends neck, the way his body seemed just a bit too close, the friend didn't say anything about it, but they both knew it was awkward. kaisei never did tell this friend how he felt, but he knew in some way that even if he did, he'd have lost him sooner anyways. they parted ways after going to different high schools, and it was in high school that kaisei kinda... explored things a teeny bit more?

he never told anyone straight up "hey im gay!!" but it's.... y'know, people knew. im thinking there was a guy that started realizing himself that he wasn't feeling the way about girls that he used to, and in private reached out to kaisei because "well, he's like that right?"

details aside, kaisei agrees to try things out with him, and unfortunately, the guy realizes before doing something (sweats) that nope, he actually can't do this and leaves (imagine kaisei left in an empty classroom sitting on the floor by the door like "huh. well this actually sucks and i'm not happy i did that." it happens once more when he's in high school, but the second time, the guy doesn't chicken out but at the same time, he's not sure what to do with the fact that he liked doing it with a guy.

(Puff from the future - this guy turned out to be yakumo, he and kaisei were friends in hs before they ended up doing things and that will get elaborated on later)

both times in high school ended up leaving kaisei with a bitter aftertaste because neither guy even wanted to entertain the idea of possibly dating a guy (him), so both times he was left with this like.... not heartbreak, but a hollow feeling. like he was just used because people knew he would try it with them (even though it only happened twice).

when he's out of school, he finds himself trying to date guys, but it usually ends up one of two ways - if he meets them in a way that they both Know Whats Up, the other guy tends to preface everything with "nothing serious" (which kaisei wants something serious, he always has, but at the same time he'll take whatever he can get because he still craves that attention and affection) and if he meets guys that he's unsure if they're gay, 90% of the time they end up not. and so for a while, kaisei's track record of relationships is. well, not great (non-existent, technically). that's why when he meets ciro, and ciro gives him that Vibe, he gets excited, like maybe!!! maybe this time will be different, finally!!!

and why when he finds out about ciro's ex-gf, he thinks the way he does. that of course not, he was getting ahead of himself again, reading into things too much, and only settting himself up for an ending he was all too familiar with.

and it's why he starts to almost cut ciro off. what's the point after all, he knows even if they were still friends, it would be just like when he was a kid. having to hide how he felt, and never really being able to let himself try to find someone else because whenever he'd be around ciro, he'd only be able to think about those feelings.

that moment on the way home after the party feels so much heavier too now. actually, like kaisei's words, "Hey, stop me if you don't want this, okay?" are his way of saying fuck it, i'll try and if he hates it let it be now and let me just know already - he's tired of carrying these feelings around if they'll never amount to anything. so when he pulls away, and ciro just pulls him back in, it'...

it's everything he'd ever wanted.

(Future puff again - this scene still happens, but its while they're still at the afterparty. Ciro is more involved in asking questuons and talking to kaisei openly during it as well, as it just makes more sense if theres a conversation about it before they started feeling close again. I'll talk about that more later too--)

God i need to sit down and put all these events in order at some point lmao

For my sanity as well as anyone else's who is remotely interested in these two

[black-rose-writings]

Watching Shadow and Bone season 2: Episode 3 - In terms of book loyalty we have no book loyalty

For better or for worse

Okay, the intro's cool on this one.

Flying ships, flying ships, flying ships!

I have no complaints for now. Just plot happening, mostly normally.

Baghra doesn't know what compassion means.

Ah, yes, everything is the Darkling's fault. Definitelly no prejudice that needed the smallest push to start the pogroms again.

And Baghra definitelly cared for the Grisha. That's why she told him to leave them to die last time.

Fuck that blame deflecting piece of shit (Baghra).

Let's see if this works (it won't).

Alina has a PTSD episode, I guess. Or a Tether moment? Or a prophecy? IDK. Alina faints because she's a little bitch.

Volcra would like a snack.

Here come the First Army, come to kill all the Grisha for the crime of being themselves.

She's lucky everyone laid their guns down, or she'd have gotten shot.

Oh, yes, please, give me the Grisha loyalists, I need a pallete cleanser.

Genya is scared of the Nichevoya... which is why she will align with a person that supports her rapist, and the reason the monsters were necessary in the first place.

David is excited to do some science. Genya is somewhat scared he'll get hurt in the process.

Spinning wheel is not a remote hideaway in the far north mountains, but like, half a day's ride away from the Fold. I guess. Probably less given how not tired everyone looks.

Oh, so the shots with the first army getting attacked were from the spinning wheel? Okay, I guess. The timeline is all over the place on this one.

Zoya acts as if she wasn't trying to fuck Aleksander days before. Like she wasn't trying turn him against her. She acts as if they were friends.

Also they're putting the purges on Vasily. Because we haven't seen the First Army be very excited about murdering Grisha two episodes ago. Definitelly all Vasily and the Darkling's fault.

I mean, at least one character acts her age in this story, but like... Zoya, of all people? The least mature adult on whatever planet Ravka is on? Okay.

Little kiddo hates piano. Same.

Oh, look, it's that scene. The bathroom scene.

They're taking late-book scenes and putting them a lot earlier in the timeline. Either they're doing a bit of a switcharoo, or they have (more) original stuff planned for the later episodes. I don't know which would be worse, given their track-record.

Yup. Definitelly a whole lot of CK scenes. With a creepy original bad guy for Inej. Because I guess whatever-her-name-was wasn't fucked up enough for them. They needed someone more rapey.

And he's dead. Wow. Well, that went nowhere.

Wow, she's dramatic. I mean, that's kinda bad, but also like... it came out of nowhere? My man's losing it. A lot.

I'm not entirely following their logic... like... okay, he's made monsters, which are draining his life force and probably making him go a little crazy... and somehow all of their actions revolve around Alina... forgiving them.

I know the point is to make him seem more evil and unhinged, but like... what. What even is going on?

I do love how Baghra is clearly telling the audience what we're supposed to believe.

Ah, yes, the least romantic proposal in the history of... ever.

They're really leaning into the whole "Grisha need to integrate" thing, huh... asimilate, one might say. So long as you're like everyone else, nothing bad will happen to you, pinky swear. Because that has ever worked in the minority's favor.

Mal? Being the voice of reason?

Ew.

I see their angles. Malina, Grisha asimilation. I am not seeing the way the crows are headed, yet.

Oh, we're doing this one. This is late story Genya. Not the one who freely insulted the Queen in front of him. Not the one, who gleefully told Alina of the King's "sudden illness". She deserved better. She deserved to stay confident, powerful and more than a tool to tell us how awful the Darkling is.

Also, like, what does he actually need her for?

I think Kaz got his senses knocked out of him.

I think I prefer the book version of how Matthias got himself into the figthing. Gives him more agency. But I guess agency is a dirty word when it comes to protagonists.

Nina, you dumb bitch. You'd think a professional spy would be better at sneaking around than this.

What does she care? She literally just met Kaz. She's already betrayed her whole country for Matthias, what's one asshole criminal?

Sasha's powers are literally killing him and... I don't know what the show wants me to feel about it. I mean, I know how I feel about it, but this universe is very preachy. I'm guessing the message is "he should have let himself die in the Fold, when Alina left him for dead", which is would be very much in line with the messaging the books go for.

Yup, definitelly pushing the "Aleksander is a Grisha supremacist" angle.

"I've made my decision" And that couldn't have waited until the morning. You had to go tell him while you're both basically naked by the standarts of your era.

Okay I guess.

[miss-mukami]

4 am

Kou x fem. Reader x Ruki

You're wide awake at late hour. You sigh and walk to the bathroom to fresh up yourself listening to your playlist just to be found by Kou and Ruki later to let them toy with you.

Tags: canon typical, mature

Spoiler: general, sightly VERSUS II, Vol. 5 Ruki VS Kou

You can't sleep and feel pumped up from another essence you found and drank like it had a "Drink me ❤️" sign on it. You sigh again, what's up with you? At least this time it's no aphrodisiac, just some kind of energy drink. Maybe Ruki-kun uses it when he likes to read a good book on the rush, something like that?

You fix your hair in the mirror from laying around in bed, trying to sleep. Your phone lays next to you, while music is playing out of your earphones. You have a playlist mixed with party songs and Kou's tracks, you totally loved right away. "Here, M-Neko-chan, they're just for you. When you miss me, put them on.", he said and blinked, as he gave you some popular cover song recordings he never published.

You are a quite skilled bathroom singer, someone might say, maybe, but still you hoped nobody will ever hear you here. "I can't stop dreaming... Imma shine like I'm on TV... I wanna be a superstar...", you sing. Hmm, not that bad, maybe someday you will record something with Kou, who knows? "...Ayo! I'm tired of using technology..." Oh, this is a cover he made, you skip forward to the refrain "... spotlights don't do you justice, baby... I'm tired of using technology..." "Why don't you sit down on top of me ♪ ...", Kou whispers in your ear, suddenly standing behind you, hugging your waist, pulling you towards him. "M-Neko-chan feels lonely without me? Why didn't you just come to my room?", still at your ear, he bites softly. "Kou-kun, no...", you try to resist. You don't hate it, but he just caught you off guard and you feel yourself terribly blushing without even looking in the mirror. He heard you singing and now he's toying with you, how embarrassing. "Nfu, you're so cute like that.", he keeps on chuckling and lifts you up. "Hey!-" "Now you sit on me, M-Neko-chan, I'm here for you." He kisses you cheek from behind. "Kou..." "Pssst, what did I always tell you?" He graps your throat. It doesn't hurt, but you freeze. Not this again. "Be my good girl..." Now he strokes down your neck with his index finger. His greedy smile, you could feel it. You loved and hated this, this game, how he always wins. You shiver, it tickles so sweetly. His finger strokes upwards and you turn your head. "You really are my good girl...", he whispers again. Then his sharp fangs pierce inside you. But... He's so gentle today, there is almost no pain, just sensation quickly flowing through your body. "Kou... we're in the bathroom.", you still manage to say. What if someone comes and sees us both like this?" "And? Everyone can see how amazing I make you feel!" His hand graps your chin to turn your head back for a kiss. You taste your blood as he parts your lips for another deeper kiss. You melt inside, you couldn't stand it. How can he be so gentle, yet demanding? "Kou, please...". "Pssst, M-Nek-" The door opens.

"Ruki?!", you shout, snapped back to reality. "What are you two doing?", he says calmly, acting as if he didn't see the obvious. He comes closer. No... This isn't good. Is he angry? He kneels down before you, on eye level with you. "Did Kou kiss you here?", he asks as he rubs his thumb along dripping blood from your lower lip. "... I see. You like his pretty face, do you?... But what about me? Don't I make you feel amazing as well?" He kisses you. You feel the remaining blood being licked away, but... so painfully slowly and tender. He's somewhat punishing you, no... , he is punishing you. He was listening all the time. "And?", Ruki asks, facing you again. You couldn't answer right away. The loss of his touch hurts, then his hand caresses your cheek. He isn't angry, you're relieved. "You still are somewhat of a Livestock, aren't you? Steeling my drink. You as well, Kou.", he chuckles. He must have seen you, and Kou, he did it, too? That's weird, in a funny way, you think. "Busted.", Kou admits. "So Kou, what are we going to do with her?". "... You ask me?! Fufu... Oh, I know! I think our little M-Neko-chan misses us both, right M-Neko-chan? You miss being sandwiched between us!" "Kou...!!!", you burst out. "Seems like.", Ruki adds.

Fangs crave both right and left side of your neck.

Ruki musst have pushed you more into Kou's lap, you felt Kou's arms behind you tightening around your waist. Your hand gripped on Ruki's back head stroking through his hair pulling him closer when you passed out.