#and they were talking about how certain things dont quite make sense

[apollowatchesmovies]

December 20

Movie 92

Vertigo

[nyashykyunnie]

˗ˏˋ Yandere! Sung Jinwoo x Best Friend! Reader ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

・┆✦ Entry : 024 ✦ ┆・

‼️[ TW: stalking, obsession, gaslighting(?), gore, body horror, BLOOD, yandere Jinwoo au ]

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Cai Bot Link ♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

╰┈➤ ❝ [ Wherever you go, I'm always right there even if you try to hide ] ¡! ❞

"You're just imagining things" Jinwoo says, his nonchalant grey eyes glancing up at you. "You just don't sleep enough."

That's what he always says whenever you rant about the nagging feeling of several eyes watching you.

And you, being the stupid fool that you are— Believed his words.

Jinwoo is a smart and logical person, he's always able to make things just make sense.

So you never really questioned anything whenever he drops his opinion.

But of course, your instincts were never really wrong in the first place.

The itching terror crawling beneath your skin whenever you're alone, the weird chills tickling your spine when you walk in a dark place— It wasn't just your imagination.

The culprit?

He's staring right at right your face with those casual grey orbs.

Jinwoo has placed a bunch of shadows to trail you around, ten maybe 20,... Maybe. Who knows how many he has really placed?

Oh but one thing was for sure, there's at least two of his most powerful line of shadows safeguarding you.

Their duties were two simple orders: Make sure you are safe and sound and eliminate all forms of danger.

Eliminate All Forms Of Danger.

Sure, it could be just some bugs you're terrified of, or making sure you dont come across any dangerous plants along your way.

But their most important task was to murder anyone who tried too hard to come close.

Jinwoo was normally level-headed, he can take seeing you talking to someone else for at least 2 minutes, 5 when he's in a really good mood.

Past ten?

Hah.

'That fucker better start counting his hours' was the only thing ringing inside Jinwoo's head.

He was a jealous man, he'd be quiet but his gaze would grow darker. His ebony locks hovering over his steely gaze, his tongue pushing his inner cheek out as he tries to hold his temper, his foot tapping the floor impatiently as he counts the seconds the bastard went pass ten minutes.

78 seconds.

Jinwoo counted exactly 78 seconds when the conversation finished and your attention would return to him.

Immediately, that hard expression on him would go gentle.

He became quite the actor no thanks to you. jinwoo doesn't want you to have a peek of what he truly is as a person.

Though you were best friends, Jinwoo was a bit handsy with you. Just a bit.

His fingers lightly brushing against your fingers, your cheeks, mostly your ears actually.

Why?

Everyone reacts a certain way when their ear gets tickled.

And he reveled in the shudders and yelps you give him whenever he teases you.

The more you gave him your many expressions, the more and more he drowns in the black hole that is you.

Whatever you do, even the littlest things, his instincts would suddenly go haywire.

Mostly he wants to cherish you, pamper you, baby you like the adorable thing that you are.

Other times? Jinwoo wants to break you apart. Watch you sob, wrists bound, legs incapable of moving— He wanted to imprison you in the land of eternal death. Have you rot in his domain where he wouldn't worry about anyone or anything else breathing the same air as you other than him.

He wanted to love you and break you, and he knew that well. Jinwoo knew of his adoration and destructiveness when it comes to loving you.

You were really like a black hole, sucking him into the void and drowning him in a sea of emotions he never can quite understand.

Perhaps the system had really screwed him up in the head.

The pressure of being a monarch, of protecting this world, of being a vessel of war for several years— He had become twisted and completely paranoid to the point that he just wants control on everything.

And he wanted complete control of you too.

But he stopped himself, several times, he stopped himself.

Jinwoo tried to cut himself off of your life, to delete your memories of him.

But whenever he tried to he could never do it.

Everytime he did, he would just get frustrated and never finish the job.

The more he tries, the deeper he falls into the abyss that is you.

And now here he is,...

Alone in an alleyway, with the beating rain above his head, the water droplets gently dripping off of his black locks. His hand was bloodied as he held the head he had brutally ripped off of the bastard that dared to go pass the ten minute limit. The mangled corpse on the floor had organs spilling out with exactly 78 cuts on it's skin so deep it must have sliced the bone too.

And just like always, you're a witness to this hell.

Scream, cry, throw up— Whatever you do, you would just draw an amused smirk on Jinwoo's handsome features.

His lips would scrunch up on one side, his eyes glowing an ominous color of monarch violet as he lightly tips his head to one side. The stench of blood permeates through the air as the crimson liquid pooled and spread along with the puddles beneath your feet. Everything was now much more terrifying than what it was earlier

You wanted to run, you were afraid of whatever demon that is in front of you.

But Jinwoo wouldn't give you that chance, after all, he is suddenly in front of you— Right at your face.

His eyes were so out of it even though they are focused on yours.

The blood splatters on him was bone-chilling and sickening and yet somehow it made him more handsome.

Jinwoo is always wearing an empty and bored gaze, and yet somehow this psychotic side of him was alluring and dreamy.

Like a fragrant poison you knew would kill but attracted you even still.

"Sssh" Jinwoo purrs sweetly, cradling your face with one hand and then lightly kissing your lips for a short while. "I only did what I needed to do."

" You just listen to me like you always did and forget this ever happened like we've always done"

Forget? Forget how—

Suddenly, your body would go limp and he would catch you. An arm gently wrapped around your waist as he cradles your sleeping form.

Jinwoo would chuckle, pressing another light kiss on your lips,... then your forehead, your temple, your cheek, and once again your lips.

He held the kiss a little while longer.

He loved that expression on your face to be honest, how it scrunch up in terror and disgust. How you would pale oh-so immediately that he can't help but be giddy and want to kiss your pretty little face over and over— Smothering you like the lovely little thing you are.

He has done this so many times.

First, it was some people getting too close.

Second, it was your friends.

Third, these random people who would talk to you for more than ten minutes.

Time and time again, he would bloody his hands for selfish reasons.

Jinwoo wants to be the apple of your eye just as you are to him.

After all, he lovingly placed a legion of shadows in you so that he could watch you the second you are away from his physical body.

"God, I love you so much" He'd whisper, his lips against your hair as he inhales your scent in.

. . . . . . . . .

"Hey," Jinwoo casually greets you the next morning at school, your cute expression in a complete daze from having your memories wiped once again the night prior. "It's a long weekend after today, how about I take you out to dinner?"

ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .｡✧･ﾟ: ~♡ —! stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.

[thewertsearch]

GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him! […] CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this […] CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir

Seems like Eridan's planning to join Vriska.

Correction - he's planning to rejoin Vriska.

If he's trying to restart their kismesissitude, he's going to be sorely disappointed. Vriska is out of his league, and not just as a romantic partner. She's a god, and he's an angry kid with a wand who represents no threat whatsoever to Noir.

CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was […] GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up

I think your intuition is correct, but that doesn't mean he's specifically your grandson. After all, 'family' is a term which can encompass all sorts of relationships.

GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents… GG: and more interestingly……. GG: his grandfather :O

Even if he is your grandson, that doesn't necessarily mean he has a grandfather. As far as I can tell, there's no reason why the Veil's DNA-mixing machine couldn't merge the genes of two women.

For all we know, Pen-Pal could have four biological grandmothers!

CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you? CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed

I didn't think a troll's genes had an individual supplier.

Based on the fact that their genetic material is combined in the Mother Grub, I've been assuming that each troll is created from a large number of 'parents', whose DNA is mixed in the Mother's stomach.

Obviously, our Sgrub trolls are going to be an exception to this rule, since the game presumably cloned them from twelve Guardians - but Eridan seems to be implying that all trolls have an individual parent.

This doesn't align at all with what we know about troll reproduction. There also seems to be a certain amount of secrecy surrounding this process, since Eridan thinks you'd be killed for looking into it. Is there some sort of conspiracy at play?

CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does

Alright, that makes a little more sense. So trolls are derived from a large mixture of DNA, but they have one true 'parent' who contributes the lion's share of genetic data.

Maybe an embryonic troll starts off as a clone of this parent, and other trolls' genes are slowly spliced into it as it develops.

Again, for the Sgrub trolls, things are a little different. We have reason to believe they were cloned in sets of three, implying that each of them has three genetic donors. Perhaps, then, they each inherited the majority of their DNA from one of these trolls - their 'ancestor' - and only share a small number of genes with the other two.

These ancestors have been mentioned before - quite a while ago, now - and I think they may be the key to solving a major mystery of the Hivebent arc.

Namely, Aradia mentioned her ancestors, and seemed to believe she was following their orders. When Scratch's plans started to reveal themselves, I assumed that he was the one directing Aradia, and was only pretending to be these unseen forebears.

With this new revelation, however, I'm forced to reconsider my stance. What if the Voices were those of the ancestors?

What if Aradia was being instructed by the troll Guardians all along?

[the-s1lly-corner]

I got an idea from the child reader request.

Like the same wolf in sheep's clothing concept but like FULL SWEET TO DARK PERSONALITY.

Wanna hear?

So basically child reader is like cute and innocent at first sight but IS A TOTAL DEMON, Having a very dark sense of humor, Sometimes out of nowhere walk up to someone of the gang and threaten to gouge out their eyes while they sleep, they are always with an cute expression but turns out that they like to cause chaos and havoc just like Jax but in a more creepy way.

For example, SOMEHOW reader is caught hanging from the ceilling scaring the fuck out of gangle just because its fun. Or staying in the dark waiting for someone so they can jumpscare them.

Basically child reader uses their cute-kid as an advantage to scare others off.

TADC x child!reader who is a menace! (platonic)

wasnt quite sure what to title this so!! some segments may be shorter than others since im still trying to get a hand of writing/coming up with ideas for certain characters (cough cough gangle) (i love her sm but shes so hard for me to write idk why) hope you enjoy! majority of this post is just me tormenting the cast TToTT

CAINE:

oh my god you kind of remind him of bubble but more... flkmddlvm

makes a time out rule when you keep making threats to the other circus members, that behavior is not family friendly!

he might even consider trying to go into the code and censoring your common phrases as well as some other words, if he has the capabilities for that

still tries to be a dad to you, though, wants to be a good role model and guide you in the right direction for the sake of everyone else

the first time you say something... morbid to him he just

slack jawed, stares at you before shaking himself back to reality and just

bro is astonished he was not ready to hear that today, let alone hear it from a small child

POMNI:

you know how in the other post with a child!reader i mention that pomni is vaguely uncomfortable around kids since she knows they can dish out some real cruelty

take this idea and multiply it by 10x

actually looks like that one sad spongebob meme with the big eyes and tear when shes put in charge of keeping an eye on you during an in house adventure

meek attempt to get you to behave

not much to say here imo, since its like an amped up version of the last post :O

JAX:

makes a joke about how youre already entering your edgy phase, he now has to watch his back lest some of his digital fur be shaved off

fear does not come close to describing how he feels when he discovers that you somehow found keys to some peoples rooms. he hopes you dont have a key to his room

and he thought he was hot shit, but no some random kid makes him fear the consequences of his actions

is this his punishment for his constant bullshit? what did he do in particular to deserve this?

instinctively looks up at the ceiling when he enters a room to make sure youre not about to drop on him

congrats, youve instilled fear into the funny rabbit

RAGATHA:

the 'nightmare kid' thing some babysitters go through at least once in their life, but instead of tantrums and such its just you talking about how you sometimes tear apart the dolls that came with your room. to the doll person

very uncomfortable by a lot of the stuff you casually say, even more so because its coming from a kid. though i think she would be uncomfortably be talk like that in general

SWEARS that one day shes going to blink and youll suddenly be right next to her or within her proximity

like on one hand she wants to try to guide you to be less dark, like caine, but i think she would need someone to back her up because she cannot get the image of the torn up dolls out of her head

KINGER:

poor man

like even if the things you said were empty threats, he would be scared shitless

if he isnt already in his fort, hes retreating to it the second he sees you around

kind of funny since kinger is in his late late 40s and youre a kid and hes terrified of you

anyways

less of a discomfort thing and more so scared that youre going to go through with the things you say

he walked into the common area one day and saw you literally crawling across the walls, he was with gangle when he saw it. you see his irises of his eyes shrink

doesnt even bother going to his fort, which is under where you currently are

he just

slowly

backs away, he can find refuge in his room... unless you have a key to his room

ZOOBLE:

less discomfort more annoyance with zooble, i think that while she would find it funny when a kid swears she finds people talking like that to be cringe; kid or not

the only one who isnt really scared of you. sure you threaten to disassemble them constantly and hide their pieces across the grounds to assure they can never be whole again, but they're just internally cringing while you try to make them turn away

in a weird way you two create an odd dynamic where you just go on and zooble just halfway listens, you kinda just talk at them

like while caine tries to be your dad, and ragatha tries to be.. something.. zooble is like a weird 'friend'

probably has the most potential to become a friend and get you to chill, but thats just based on my experience

like if its an attention/reaction thing, zooble isnt going to give it to you, which kind of. ruins the point of it for you, and you just

stop, or at least tone it down over time

or maybe thats just me seeing zooble having the potential to be an older sibling figure

GANGLE:

the gif is gangle when you get your hands on her

i understand that she cries easily, but like, you have probably made her cry at least once either on accident or on purpose

i think shes one of the few characters out of the cast who would probably start avoiding you for the sake of her emotional state, but she would feel bad about it since at the end of the day you're a kid

refuses to go anywhere near you when her comedy mask is broken, because otherwise shes a glum mess

you know how in poppee the performer, kedamono's mask sometimes just. pops off when he gets scared or surprised (well it happens regardless of expression/mood but yk)

gangle does that when she sees you LITERALLY CRAWLING ON THE WALLS LIKE A BUG

how are you even doing that

she doesnt wanna know, actually

"imma tie you up double knotted style" *high pitched crying*

[cupcraft]

Okay but what really guts me about S6E21 the therapy episode is the moment where I think House really feels like Dr. Nolan's not hearing him or getting him which contributes to his feelings of distrust to um gtfo of therapy 5ever. Which this is not to say House should've done that or that Dr. Nolan is bad, it's more like this contributed quite a lot because well I'm making 0 sense let me explain.

So, I'm thinking about the scene where Dr. Nolan was like "what do you think Cuddy & Wilson talked about together. Walk me through the conversation?" House does and he basically concludes to his therapist that his interpretation of his friends is that they view him as the "House Problem" that they're more worried he's going to do something "bad" or "attention seeking" or "[insert anti-addict recovery rhetoric/ablelism/etc thing] here" because of Wilson kicking House out, out of the blue. And in a way, this is truthful and from an audience's perspective it is a believable interpretation. House is generally pretty perceptive about the people around him and their impression of him given that he does purposefully construct a certain impression of himself (so that he is not harmed by people by allowing himself to be genuine). And even though Cuddy and Wilson are the people he's the most genuine to, he still self-destructs around them and struggles with trust. Anyway, based on how Wilson and Cuddy have handled a lot of things in the past (not everything) such as the Morphine/saline thing, the first time he went cold-turkey on opiates, the tritter situation, forcing him to go to his abusive father's funeral, etc. it really does seem believable they'd view him as the House Problem, or in a way it makes sense House thinks that way overall.

Though this is not to say House is right. He is right and valid to think that they'd be worry he'd relapse/etc. and he is right to have trauma from previous horrible responses done to him and thus not have faith in any different. But House is in fact wrong because Cuddy and Wilson do genuinely care about him and do not actually see him at this current stage in the show as the "House Problem". Especially Wilson, which it was clear Wilson later realized his actions were impulsiveness and fucked up and not at all recovery informed (especially as the person of stability he agreed to be for House's recovery) since House felt forced to go back home. There's also the issue that Wilson created a home for him and House (as reiterated by Dr. Nolan and the fact the thing Wilson chose for himself was the organ, solidifying House's permanency in that home) only for him to be like jk i dont see a future for you here even though Sam who hates you doesnt mind. House doesn't realize that a Cuddy/Wilson conversation would be done out of care and guilt of an impulsive mistake and not because they just keep him around to stop him from being a "Problem".

SO, Dr. Nolan does challenge this rightfully so but he doesn't do it in the right way which contributes to House feeling unheard and stuck and realizing god I am miserable and i distrust this. Dr. Nolan challenges it by imagining the conversation in a way we the audience knows would not be how at the very least Wilson would talk. He posits Wilson as a very rational person to the point it is comical because Wilson is also toxic and irrational (again the very thing that Nolan says it was a home for you both and then he kicked House out!). I think even House recognizes this because he looks as though Nolan grew a second head like what on earth Wilson would never say that which I think really in the end makes House feel unheard. Because the message "Hey Wilson and Cuddy do in fact love and care about you" didn't come across. The "I think wilson is being rational" is what actually comes across, when House feels hurt by Wilson over what is an irrational reaction (especially given Wilson's apology to house goes poorly and comes off as more guilt than accountability, see the apartment scene).

So it guts me. it guts me that their communication got crossed and the outcome didn't work out. That House felt unheard and that Nolan wasn't able to reach him. Because it does bode poorly for House to leave therapy right now as he is at a point of crisis in his support network and he's returned home to the place that is triggering to him for a lot of reasons (hallucination/relapse/etc).

and as always for my ramblings feel free to add on/send asks/etc. :)

[arthur-lesters-balls]

ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

6/20/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Samson Kayo's Birthday!; Rhys Darby; Taika Waititi; Vico Ortiz; Anapela Polataivao, Samba Schutte; MoonglowingWithPride; FanSpotlight: Cast Cards; OFMPride Colouring Pages; Pride Month; ErosTheArtist;AnaCrowley; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika;

== Samson Kayo ==

Today is Samson's birthday! So much love for our wonderful Oluwande-- Happy Birthday Samson!!!

Source: Samson Kayo's Instagram

== Rhys Darby ==

New Cryptid Factor! This time it's The Magic Bank issue! Check it out on Spotify for the podcast version-- the video will be released on The Cryptid Factor podcast in the next few days!

Source: The Cryptid Factor Spotify

== Taika Waititi ==

Can I just say how nice it is that Taika is posting on Instagram again? It really warms my heart seeing he's feeling more comfortable again <3 Also it's great to see his sense of humor hasn't changed.

Source: Taika Waititi's Instagram

Source: Rita Ora's Instagram

== Vico Ortiz ==

Vico has so much going on right now! Today they were on with Nikki from "Don't Tell My Mother" and talking more about the upcoming show on the June 25th! Wanna watch? Check it out here! You can get more info on the live show/livestream on the Don't Tell My Mother website!

Source: Dont Tell My Mother's Instagram

There's also a new episode of Date My Abuelita First! out! Listen to the newest episode on your favorite Podcast platform!

Source: Date My Abuelita First!'s Instagram

Are you on Vico's Patreon? If so, there's new BTS! If not-- for $10 for a month you can have access to all the Exclusive BTS! There are quite a few of the crew jamming out going on in these... from quite a lot of the crew, including a certain Captain.

= Anapela Polataivao =

A new article on Auntie and all the amazing work she's doing! Check it out! Anapela Polataivao on Stepping Up To The Work

Source: The Spinoff Article

= Samba Schutte =

Samba sending love to Samson on his birthday, and wishing us all a Happy Summer Solstice!

Source: Samba Schutte's Instagram

== MoonglowingWithPride ==

Reminder! Today is the start of #MoonGlowingWithPride! Happy Solstice everyone! Thank you @xray-vex for organizing this!

Source: Xray_Vex's Twitter

== Fan Spotlight ==

== Cast Cards ==

Tonight's Cast Card by @melvisik is Karl L! He's listed as a British soldier, as well as an 'Action Extra'!

Source: @melvisik's twitter

== OFMD Colouring Pages ==

More Our Flag Means Pride colouring pages from our dear crewmate @patchworkpiratebear and released by @adoptourcrew!

Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter

== Pride Month ==

= Eros The Artist =

Some gorgeous Pride Month art from our friend @erostheartist! They're keeping busy and have lots of new work coming along!

Source: Eros The Artist Tumblr

= AnaCrowley =

Another one of our lovely crewmates, @anacrowley has released some beautiful Pride Month artwork as well!

Source: AnaCrowley's Tumblr

== Love Notes ==

Hey there lovelies! Happy Solstice and Happy Friday! It's finally the end of the work week coming up for some of us, and it's time to get some rest if you can. Have things been changing for you lately? Are there parts of your life you weren't expecting to go in the direction they did? Maybe it's moving you in a positive direction, maybe not so much. I try to remember, that just like the seasons, sometimes we're not ready for changes, but they do need to happen. They keep life interesting, new, and they provide new perspectives, and new opportunities. Today the sun has set in your part of the world, and tomorrow, it will rise again, and so will you lovelies. You will get up tomorrow, and no matter what you're up against, you will make it through-- I whole heartedly believe in that. Believe in yourself, you are wonderful, and capable, and you've got this <3 So much love coming your way friends, change is hard, but it's so very lovely too in the long run. It'll be okay one day.

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

Just a reminder of the most ridiculous things these two do. Special guest star-- Stu! Gifs courtesy of the most talented, astonishing, superb folks @celluloidbroomcloset and @meluli!

[her-acts-of-cruelty]

huge rhrn spoilers!!

this is my review. :3

if you spot any mistakes, let me know! curious to see what other people thought

this is long btw... and broken into sections in no particular order.

1. marketing

i, like many other fans, saw the teaser dropped and assumed the movie wouldn't be out at least until the end of the year, as par the tradition with most movies. However, this isnt movies, in fact i think forge released this movie at the perfect time for a couple reasons. the first beingo that the release date was on Litha, also known as the summer solstice. the reason this is significant is that many ceremonies for this holiday include celebrations with large groups, something that RHRN provided. I felt like this really added to the aspect of attending a "ritual". another reason forge was quite smart for this is that the hype for people around the world to see what happened at the Kia Forum hadnt died down yet. this worked in his favour, considering this sudden drop brought up the attention again.

i really liked that they used Father Jim Defroque as a marketing tactic. Especially considering it connected festival goers at Download to feel connected with fans that weren't there. The use of Jim's posters at download was very fun too, and fitting they got vandalised due to non-ghost fans assuming it was a real priest. for me that added to the authenticity that he's a real person that is very serious about protesting this movie!!!

i also liked the experimentation going on, even if it doesnt go to plan (problems with the jim video drop), the fact that these new mediums are being tested out allows room to figure out kinks and try them again in the future. it added to the interactive element, and made me forget tobias existed, and that this was a very real band and there were very real things going on that i had to be weary of.

2. Music

One thing i did notice is the improvement in quality compared to their previous live album, Ceremony and Devotion. Obviously theres a big change in vocals, i was very surprised that Copia's vocals seemed a lot more high pitched than what i had remembered.

the easiest comparison i can make that's accessible to everyone right now here Rite Here Rite now's Absolution, and Ceremony and Devotion's Absolution. most notably for me was the backing vocals and the presence of this growling and sinister tone, that i really enjoyed. the overall quality is definitely there too, i'm not certain on the specifics but i know for a fact there was a very different set up this time around, compared to C&D.

if you have ghost live, was such a haunting moment. theres many little elements, the backing vocals, the gorgeous piano, and the incredible cello players had a huge part in making this version sound the way it did. the amount of passion and emotion here reflected the message of the song, there was a sense of unity that i felt really stood out.

Its also worth talking about The Future is a Foreign Land. oh my god i cried when i heard this for the first time. this song really encapsulates that sort of bond-esque era of music, undeniably it had that 60s ring to it. It did also remind me of Magna Carta Cartel (more so than subvision, i dont think subvision has quite the same sway as this specific song). i know some others have pointed this out and i'm glad.

from a story point, this song is really interesting. considering we previously had no context of how nihil responded following the events of kiss the go-goat, it was kind of cathartic to know that he did genuinly feel bad for his actions. more about this in the use of animation though.

For tobias forge, this song was really interesting. i felt like it was a bit too blatant having the mention of 2024, i guess it felt like it was implying that from that moment nihil knew that thqt was the year copia would take over as head of the clergy, or at least that seestor would die. which wouldnt make sense? i dont think? idk comments are on, share what you want.

3. Animation/mixed mediums

i wasnt sure how the animation element would tie in with the movie when i first saw it announced, but honestly i think this was the best way to do it. while i was a bit disappointed to see nothing new from liz fenning and justin andrews, the decision to lean into the comments of ghost making scooby doo music and using that artsyle was very fun.

i also felt like this was a time effective way of explaining the events post kiss the go-goat. seestor's idgaf attitude was amazing, im so glad that this didnt fall back on letting nihil get the girl in the end. characters dont have to get back together, and im glad they didnt. this felt more real and more personal, the two of them only sticking around to work and to make sure their children grew up to serve their duties.

the overlay during year zero was so fucking cool. i think its clips from swedish black comedy "Häxan" but i could be very very wrong. this made me very happy though, i wasnt expecting this and was a nice way to throw in some references to swedish media, especially one that also enjoys making fun of the fear around witchcraft and satanism,

4. the ghouls!!

suspiciously well behaved. did not expect that. i was a bit disappointed that we didnt see that much of them and that they were so well behaved??? what happened to my feral creatures???

as per usual, their perfomances were amazing. the backing vocals sent me to heaven, i think best example of this is during mary on a cross, or kaisarion. Seeing Phantom and Dew show off their silly skills was very fun, love me a man that can become a pretzel while he serenaded me with songs of satan. while i am upset that we lost Aether, im glad his replacement is bringing some silliness to his role and seeing his growth with the band had been really rewarding.

i will say cirrus's reaction to seestors death did get me. like damn. youre right this is sad. i think also seeing someone die is actually quite shocking, we dont really know much about seestors relationships with the ghouls so theres not a whole bunch i can add.

im so glad they werent unmasked, i feel like that would've ruined the mystery of what ghouls look like. and i mean not as performers but as fictional creatures. everyone has their own version, similar to how Vessel from Sleep Token keeps on his mask to allow the audience to project onto him.

hearing rain's voice scared the shit out of me. i forgot he knew how to do that.

5. the off stage segments

i am so glad this is how the movie was broken up. what comes to mind for me is copia and nihil in the box just before if you have ghost. this was a gut punch of a moment for me, for a deadbeat parent to just decide they want to be there all of a sudden, because your other parent is bothering you? i did appreciate that big drop of "oh yeah actually i had three songs oops anyway deep breaths loser youre on"

the sudden drop of something like that is insane, and nihil being so smug about it, knowing that he's been keeping that quiet for so long just aaaaaah. but also i get why it was kept quiet, considering how personal the Future is a Foreign Place is to him.

it was at this point i began to cry. and i did not stop crying at this movie, even past the credits.

i did love that there was like no real chemistry between copia and Ashley. like yes, she has a job to do, and copia is known for being useless around women. and also like, theyre co-workers, they dont need to have romantic relations. i liked that!!

i am going to jump to the ending. post encore after the hot air balloon scene. i will not be spending much time on this because my dumbass really believed that copia would just float away into space and thats the movie over.

seestor's death was so unexpected. but i think it made sense. i have mixed feeling about her, mainly the whole "lol yeah i told my 55 year old son i was his mum last month and now ive decided to parent" but thats mainly it. she has a job to do, and she does it well. shes also just the baddest bitch in the world.

i was crying at her dying. and then hearing Copia's pathetic cries had me choke at the emotional whiplash as my friend laughed at me. and i laughed at copia because what the fuck was that noise bro.

AND SHE DIED IN HER HEELS??? girl is serving cunt in the afterlife thats C-U-N-T spells CUNT

finding out copia has a twin (?) was also very shocking, id always assumed he was named Copia becauses hes a copy of his dad, not because like... hes one of two??

Post credits had the entire audience gagged. firstly, seeing copia out of his red tracksuit and wearing his fancy new suit that came with being promoted to Father Imperator (or frater imperator, as some have dubbed him which makes sense and is fair) had me yeowling like a cat being dragged to the vets. Tears were over by this point, i was so proud of him. and happy that forge didnt lie, copia dient die he just now is the real one in charge.

the does also shine a light on how papa doesnt actually have any power, he's just a pawn for the clergy (secondo spitting out im a marrionette??? hello??? he knew full well that he was never the one in charge which is insane. but also fitting for him as a person).

if you're still reading i am very impressed. heres where i put the conclusion;

in conclusion, for Forge's first movie, this was AMAZING. For a band that was originally meant to be scary, its nice seeing them be silly and lean into the things people joke about. they're self aware, and they're fun. i really hope there are future installments and that we get an expansion on the lore (tv show when???)

thank you for reading, here's to Papa V and making new memories!

[dotshifts]

thats literally what I have been thinking thus if the time periods from previous eras are still playing out it means theres parallel realities too that happening at once. why do u think some spirits remain on earth and do u think life could then be longer somehow? cause I hate how there is u have to pick one thing ur good at and thats all u can really do in life kinda like the terminology of yolo but I have been thinking then life isnt that short its actually quite long winded imho. just that what people think creates a certain image of life and their opinions shape it as such ways. so life can really then only be exactly what we make of it, i also dont think there is heaven and hell and that its another realm we dont yet have access too bc we are earth beings from the start

this just my opinion though its not fact nor true so could be wrong but i do think in terms of religion we r the creators but the bible always says believe in something like a higher power but u still having to believe in urself thus ppl are the higher power without realising it but bc we have all been told these situations are the only version of the situations then this is all there must be to experience does this make any sense?

time and situations are linear and nothings is fixed or set in stone.

Could life be longer??

You experience life with your awareness only and that’s how YOU experience it, you can live multiple lives whilst still having your awareness from past experiences/lives and that’s how you become immortal technically

You can also live a life where people are immortal which is also a different way to live longer

These methods are both quantum jumping btw

Do I think there’s another realm

I heavily believe in another realm and quite specifically the “quantum field” which is a realm where everything exists everywhere all at once and where you are nothing but awareness but your also at the same time everything everywhere all at once and that’s because the quantum realm consists of nothing but the energy and frequency of EVERYTHING you could ever think of and beyond, the only way you can access this is not w your physical body but with your awareness and thats y you’ll see some people call it the “void state”

That state is our most natural state of being and that is our “source” (where we came from)

That’s also why you’ll see people talking about shifting to these other realities by entering the quantum field

I actually learned about the quantum field in my book by dr Joe dispenza

Are we the creators according to bible?

I believe the bible is a metaphorical book but everyone interpreted the book way too literally so now ppl think there is a god outside of them when in reality it was them all along as we all are able to create our experience

I think Jesus knew that and he knew he was god but people also took that too literally and now are literally worshipping a completely average (but smart) spiritual man

I don’t think time is linear

I obviously can’t change your beliefs but personally I do not think time is linear because if it were, then the theory of “infinite timelines existing all at once” would be debunked according to that belief

I think time is happening on overlap and not linearly, hence why the “end” of time is also the start of time.

I think all these concepts overall are hard to grasp and understand fully so that’s why it can be long winded for some to believe in these things but honestly I don’t understand cause we are living in a mysterious universe so why would our existence be simple and easy to comprehend

[mulderscully]

Other anon embarrasing themselves and speaking as they just joined tumblr.

This site it is dying. You may see gisfets with thousands of notes, but its not as often as a few years ago even, not even talking pre 2014-16 (also theyre mostly from ppl with thousands of followers and owners of blogs like bbelcher and such).

Gifmakers stopped making gifs cause people stopped reblogging, simple as that. I myself stopped making gifs cause i was frustrated, spending entire afternoons on gifsets for them to get 500 notes. Now dont get me wrong, i was grateful for those, but having been here for literally 11 years, i know what real engagement looks like, ive seen gifsets, some of mine included, get 20k notes in hours.

So, yeah anon, this site is slowly dying whether you see it or not.

exactly, thank you.

like it's not even that 500 notes is bad it's that if you were a gifmaker here when the site wasn't dying you know that a set doing WELL at 500 is awful because what does it say about everything else? the only way to get thousands of notes now is to gif something IMMEDIATELY after it drops. and then after like two weeks people stop caring. i giffed red white & royal blue the first two weeks after it came out and some of those sets have 5-8k, now i make sets of the movie and sit at around 500 because people don't want to engage with things long term. and it's fine! but gifmaking takes time and work and this website has aged. a lot of us have jobs or kids and to sit there and spend time on something takes effort and at a certain point you start to wonder what the point even is, esp when you know that someone is probably reposting the stuff you made onto other platforms and stealing your ideas and getting all the engagement. there just isn't the same sense of community there once was and that's the saddest part.

but i try to encourage my fellow gifmakers, you know WHY? because i like reblogging beautiful sets and if people feel like their work is for nothing then what the hell am i gonna reblog? nothing bc ppl will quit and then how can i put things in my digital scrapbook? the creator and reblogger relationship is a two way street.

[spacexseven]

since you've done dazai x yandere reader, let's see (yandere) childe x yandere reader or diluc x yandere reader? (or cyno/al haitham, since i recall them being your favourites from genshin<3) don't push yourself if you dont wanna do these tho!! i absolutely adore your work :)

youuu are so sweet lol thank you <3 alhaitham's part might not make sense in canon, but i thought it was a pretty fun idea :> (more on that at the end)* if there's more interest for yandere reader x genshin characters, i'll go ahead and work on more characters later <3

as alhaitham held up the earpiece, it occurred to him for a moment that there were better ways for him to be spending his time than studying a now useless akasha terminal. there was nothing in particular that was unique about this one, except the person to who it belonged. for some days now, he had been bothered constantly by your presence. even for someone like him, who was always aware of his surroundings, it was becoming increasingly difficult to catch you. in fact, it appeared that after every time he caught you watching him from the distance, you were only getting better at camouflaging into the crowd and the background.

he was already quite bothered by the fact that he had yet to actually catch you, which left his questions for you unanswered and him constantly on edge, paranoid about whether you were watching him still. while he was mostly sure you harbored no ill intent, at the very least, he was sure you were not stalking him in order to attack him, he couldn't deny the unease that followed him whenever you laid eyes on his figure. however, with the few times he had managed to spot you following him, he had enough information about your physical features to concentrate his search on a handful of people in sumeru.

and since he had caught sight of your earpiece when you turned to disappear after realizing you had been caught in the act, alhaitham decided it was a good place to start his search. he had already gathered information about his list of suspects, but this would surely end it once and for all. he was convinced, that once he found his way into the dreams each suspect's akasha terminal had harvested, he would find irrefutable proof of which of these names were yours, and your intentions with him.

what he didn't expect, when looking at the harvested dreams, was to be staring at himself—frames and frames of him from different angles, mid-speech, in various poses. it was alarming, how the only thing you dreamt about was meeting him, talking to him, holding him...he couldn't wrap his mind around how you seemed to be driven only by the thought of him, your mind constantly revolving around him and your dreams plagued by images of him. it almost felt like an illness, something dark and stubborn, clinging desperately onto your every thought and worming its way into all the corners of your mind. and at the center of this illness was none other than alhaitham himself.

were you stalking him after succumbing to this illness, this obsession that had possessed you? or maybe, were you hoping that he may have an answer to this, or did the sight of him soothe your torment? or maybe you thought that he was the cause of all of this. he had too many questions and no definite answers. no, until he could get his hands on you and extract the needed information right from the source, he would be left distressed. it was rather easy to plan out the rest, now that he was certain of your identity. and now he was the one watching your every move, waiting for a second of vulnerability from between the crowd so that he could isolate and corner you.

*'cos you know alhaitham knows the akasha system better than most people since he's studied it and stuff, so i thought if he wanted to, he could probably "see" the dreams harvested by the akasha terminal. i guess this wouldn't exactly work since he's not really all for doing extra work if he doesn't have to, but let's just ignore all of that because this is just what my mind could come up with ^^

[cybercritterinyourcomputer]

writing this on a whim because my brain is torturing me about it for some reason and i figured what better place to go than tumblr [this is somewhat sarcasm]. i do not particularly know why i am writing/asking this but im chucking it out there to ease the thoughts so i can go to sleep

to any systems or whatever or really anyone reading who found this through the tags i put here, how did you know you were a system. or plural or how did you start questioning it how did you figure it out. bear with me its past 2 am my writing is atrocious . how did you know if you never knew before?

i dont think im plural, but something wormed its way into my brain today or yesterday and i dont know why or when and and its not the first time this has popped into my brain i think. the thought of what if what if what if but im me. its my me it there its me its my thoughts and there is no other people in my brain just me myself and i. its not quiet it never is but it is just me

i think a clearer question i want to ask is: how can you tell if something is just dpdr[because i fear i may have that, unfortunately it is very likely] or this? this as in osdd or did or whatever

it would appear simple but unfortunately for a lot of my life my sense of self has been so broken and so messy because. fuck all everything happening i guess but its just me, truly. i talk to myself, i draw different versions of myself together, i split myself into many parts to cope with things, to highlight the different parts of me, variants. the wolf, the puppy, the robot, the hermit, the hollow, the dragon, and whatever the Me is i dont know who or what i am when im so many things and nothing at the same time. i didnt completely think about this but also how heavily i relate to certain characters in media but this may just be a nonhuman thing. i see so much of myself in certain characters and so much of them in me sometimes to the point where i dont know where i start and they end. but again i think that is just a nonhuman thing or a coping thing. because its still just me here

where does the age regression and nonhumanity start and where does it end when i rely on my creations of myself to keep me afloat. i only talk to myself through thinking and drawing, i dont talk to anybody else in my head, its all me. and unfortunately theres a pattern where i learn of something and i think about it and i go, "oh, no, no no, that is absolutely not me, never would dream of it! even thinking that i could be that is a crime to all the ones that truly have that!" and then it ends up being too true. the depression, the adhd, the age regression, the therianthropy, the hard denial of abuse, the hard denial of possible autism. my friends speculate i have ptsd or cptsd. i dont want to go down that line of thinking with this, i *know* i dont have it, but the fear

its annoying because ive never really been here present in my body im never really here and the horrors dont end and theres always been something wrong with me but i know its other things. i wont share the details, but the situation ive been in the past 8? months has been horrible horrid no good on my brain i hate being awake. and it feels like someone else took the reins but im still feeling the hurt i still have the memories but they dont feel like mine. my memories have never felt like my own but theyre mine and i have to write everything down or i will forget. i go to work i listen to family shit on me i go to work i do something all day but its not me im still in my room playing a game in my pjs but that was almost a year ago but im still there but i went to work but it wasnt me

because my mind is empty, its just me. it really truly is just me. i think im just lonely. and hoping someone could take me away from everything im always going through or for someone to be there. in my head

there was never anything to make me think this before, a couple times i have but years ago, for no reason, im quite sure its just me. i had imaginary friends as a kid which is normal for kids. i still kind of do but its just me talking to me, im saying two things. i think i just have a lot of possible trauma[i dont believe im traumatized but my friends are quite firm that my entire life has been a shitshow since i was born] and a lot of coping mechanisms plus the fact that i have to pretend for my family and me being trans and me being nonhuman and me so its mostly just that

i dont really know what exactly im even asking. i think im just throwing out a bone and praying for someone to go "yeah dude thats normal youre fine, youre normal" and for my brain to stop ruminating and its annoying. or for someone to ease my curiosity and fear and dread. im throwing out a bone, im begging for someone to glance my way, im begging for someone to tell me its okay. not the begging to be okay but to say that my brain is okay and that my life is okay

[lorelite333]

thank you to @sclairereject for the inspiration for the post, because i never have anything to post about half the time. however as someone who does do tarot (i'm spiritual), i wanna put my own twist to this. (ppl have their own interpretations, but the cards still have definitions)

Redacted Boys (includes Alexis) Major Arcana Tarot Cards:

I'd also like to say that these are just my takes, and things that I've noticed and felt. I don't have everyone on here, as I got tired writing this halfway through, so I don't have everyone on here.

SHAW PACK:

David Shaw is the Magician, specifically because he was trying to find his power and voice as leader, in which he did.

Milo Greer is the Chariot, because of sense of direction and will power. He tries his best to do what's right, even if it hurts him in the process.

Asher Talbot is the Strength card, due to his overcoming self-doubt, his compassion, and his bravery in situations. In reverse, this card represents self-doubt, lack of confidence, and vulnerability.

SOLAIRE CLAN

Vincent is the Lovers card, standing by his personality alone, resembling unity, balance, partnerships, and choices.

Sam is the Justice card, associated with fairness, truth, balance, and legal matters. I feel like Sam genuinely cares about what's right, and wants to help no matter what, even if he says he wants to stay out of things. He has this sense to try to make things right, even if things may get rocky. He's a healer by heart, and tries his best to do what's best for everyone in a situation.

William is the Hierophant, it is associated with education, knowledge, traditions, and institutions. I dont really have a reason for this one other than vibes.

Alexis the Judgement card, due to her past actions as well as her personality. This card represents reflection, rebirth, transition, and decision-making. In reverse, this card represents self-doubt, poor choices, stubbornness, blame, and confusion.

Porter is the Tower card. It represents trauma, destruction, unexpected change, revelation, chaos, awakening, and warning. We know that Porter is in fact "The Blade" of the Solaire Clan, and we know that he somewhat regrets it in some way, as well as him having trauma from this and his maker.

DAMN SQUAD

Gavin is The World, as it symbolizes success, fulfilment, and an end of a cycle. I feel like this represents him due to his change with the Freelancer, him being able to open up and enjoy his life with them and his friends. Gavin never really considered Aria his home, but more so just a place he lived at. In his SBW, he talks about how Dhalia has become his home, as Freelancer and the DAMN squad had helped him change his view on it (as well as change him).

Damien is the Sun, mostly in reverse, this academic over-achiever has a little bit of an ego. He's also quite pessimistic and has unrealistic expectations that were set on him by other people. However, the Sun is also associated with positivity, happiness, freedom and vitality. Which I think Damien has learned throughout his years of being friends with the Freelancer, that it's okay to take a break sometimes and just have fun.

Huxley is the Star, as he tries to maintain his happy and positive self for everyone else, turning to inspire others and give them hope with their problems. However Huxley also experiences negativity, hopelessness, failure. I think Huxley somewhat feels like the things in life get too repetitive, and he sometimes loses interest in certain things or just becomes bored with them from a tedious routine.

And finally Lasko, is the Fool, mostly from vibes, however The Fool is an air element card, which represents new beginnings, a leap of faith, and loyalty. Lasko sees the DAMN squad as family, in which he's very loyal to. I feel like during his time at DAMN, he's experienced time after time a new beginning, from Damien and him becoming friends to him and Coworker having a relationship.

[suffrin]

Ok i made a promise. Let me try to explain the siffrin knife dream. It will not be eloquent in the slightest but i hope you enjoy the reveal ANYWAY.

So, for waking world context, we had finished the prologue, we'd just started isat, heading into act 2 I believe? The crush on siffrin? Ridiculous. They are taking up our every thought.

So... before bed we were thinking about him and his dagger. How cool it is how cool HE is, etc. Which devolved into 'I need him to stab me as friends.' Etc. This must have been the last thing we thought about before finally falling asleep.

Ok, context over. Dream time. I (referred to as kane in the dream. This is not like some sort of isat persona its just a name i use in certain circles?? So i guess my mind was like oh thats vaguely French, good enough.) Was?? Not frozen in time and for some reason had a key in the house that siffrin really needed to progress. So he said to his party he'd go in the room alone?? To go get it???? Anyway so he comes in and hes like 'I'm siffrin and I really need that key." And for some reason i already know them. Which makes enough sense i GUESS. And I'm like, albeit jokingly 'Oh, I know you do , you can have it, but what's in it for me?' And sif is like in it for you? Oh- right. I'll do anything to get that key, name your price.

So i decide im Not joking actually since he seems to be serious. And so im like 'well im not much for materialistic things..' (not true i love item but dream me is down bad) and siffrin is like oh okay what do you want me to do for you, then? And im tossing the key up anf down absently looking all sad like 'well, siffrin if I'm honest I'm real lonely' he responds 'how lonely?' I say 'desperately' and I tell them that this little interaction is the most human contact I've had in a while. Its obvious I'm prolonging it, speaking slowly. We talk a bit about how lonely I feel, he asks me questions about it and then i think i guilted him by say something like 'this key is all I have, it's been my only company' then i ask them if theyll give me just a little bit of their time in exchange for the key. And he feels bad. He asks me how long i need him for, i tell him not long at all. He stands a little closer to me but still not at all within proximity and asks me 'how close?' I explain to them honestly that its up to them and theres no Too Close for me. They nod and come closer, standing behind me, resting their chin on my shoulder and im pretty sure i almost cry . I tell him he feel comfortable. They hold me closer. They're torn because they need that stupid key, so theyre catching glances at it as i tightly grip their cloak, actually crying now from how touch starved i am. I feel guilty for keeping them, but i cant seem to stop myself. I tell him I'm surprised they didn't just come beat me up and take it, commenting by staring pointedly at the knife on their hip that they 'really could have.' They tease and agree that im not wrong. It's obvious he's conflicted now, his own hands shaky as they hold me. And then I say some freak shit out of vulnerability. 'I should let you. Maybe a knife wound would help me remember you better, give me something to think about when I'm alone again.' I cant really stop the words from coming out as I hug them tighter, eyes full of tears. Theyre taken aback, but they dont quite say no. They pull away a bit and look at me wide eyed since my words sound so sincere. 'You don't really mean that, do you?' I double down, nodding into him through my sobs, stammering out red faced 'I think I do.. will you put it somewhere nice?' . 'Where's...' He swallows thickly . 'Somewhere nice?'. I think for a moment. His response makes it seem like he's actually going to honor my request. I shake in their arms as I consider their question. 'On my thigh maybe, somewhere i can look right down and see it when I'm back to being alone.' They get a little nervous. I'm serious. 'Y-Your thigh?' We talk about the logistics for a minute, how it's a safe spot so they don't have to worry, how it doesn't need to be deep, just enough to scar, etc. Once we go over it, he asks me what happens after. I tell him he gets his key and then he can forget about me, but i don't have to forget about them, I'll have a 'permanent reminder.' I'm shaking in their arms. Their body is in no way still either. They confirm I really want this,they get all sorts of caught up internally by the fact id take a knife for them despite us talking once. i deflect by saying I bet he looks really cool when he stabs someone. 'Do i??" They ask, a bit taken aback by my random compliment (?). 'mark me and i can find out' i whisper a Bit too desperately. They make me again confirm I want this to happen, I tell them i don't think I've ever wanted anything more. Minds made up, we part enough for them to reach for their knife. I shudder, wondering if I'm really getting what I want as I glimpse at it. He takes it out , holds it in front of me. I say 'it's pretty' and that it 'figures' and i tell him i have no reservations. He blushes a bit. About the knife being pretty, follow up with 'not as much as you , if you're curious.' as I eye up the knife. I take a breath. 'Should I sit down?'

Continued in rb since i guess theres a word limit? Found that out because it deleted all of part 2! Cool. I hope my followers who have been wondering about the knife dream are patient!

[devilsainz]

First, Thank you @watercolor-hearts for tagging me! when i saw it i knew it wouldnt be an easy task (mostly because i love to talk a lot lmao) but i liked the concept and felt that it would be interesting way to dive more into the ships i am fond of.

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here are the rules:

1. List your top seven ships.

2. Put them all in order for your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favourite.

3. Name the fandom.

4. Put a picture of the guys in question.

-

7. Ziam (Zayn/Liam Payne) (One Direction)

weird way to start this list, since its not f1 related, and i very much believe it's a dead ship now. But honestly they deserve this honorable mention for being the first ship i adopted, and i didnt even care about One Direction or their music around that time (in fact i cant remember even how i stumbled upon this ship lmao). These two together just had so much chemistry for me, either on stage, interviews, or anything really. also they were my introduction to this whole idea of "ship" (Larry was the absolute more popular one obviously, but it was Ziam that really SUCKED me in like a vacuum cleaner). Unfortunately, Liam's distasteful comments last year bursted my bubble about them (even though he has explained this year he wasn't in a good place, and i personally think they are okay with each other, even though still distant), but i still like to watch their compilation videos on youtube sometimes, it's quite bittersweet :')

6. Martian (Sebastian Vettel/Mark Webber) (Formula 1)

honestly i feel i just dont put these two higher because they feel somewhat new to me, like i need to dive into them more. I just think its such a fun ship in the sense that it has a looot of things going on at the same time, their very public rivalry and the famous multi 21, mark's angry face at that one press conference, it could be so so angsty but they just make me laugh (also, the making love on track quote is now burned into my brain so in no way they could be out of this list).

5. Christian horner/Toto wolff (Formula 1)

okay okay this is the part yall realize im actually crazy. but... they DO have chemistry when they are interacting, even in their non-amicable moments, and i do love myself some good enemies to lovers. Obviously it helps that i think they both are very actrattive, sexy middle aged men that have hunger for victory and i believe they hold so much respect and admiration for each other, considering they are the two most sucessfull TP's at this point. Also, HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

4. Versainz (Max Verstappen/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

(i wanted to find that ONE gif where he lifts carlos a little so bad but this one will do) Oh, this one really rocketed fast into my favorites. I just think they are just so wholesome. I always feel Max is warmer towards a certain number of drivers, and Carlos is one of them. And i dont even ship them in a ... kind of way, even tho it makes sense in my head the narrative that both were each others "first's" before going into bigger ships. Its just that it feels so special that both debuted together as teammates and, both took different trajectories in the way their career planned out, but theres still a genuine connection between them, at least in my view.

3. Maxiel (Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo) (Formula 1)

I know its weird because i dont really post about them. But this falls into the same category as versainz for me, except that here there's a kind of dynamic that it makes me go "hmm... interesting". I always like to see max smiling and being happy because this boy went thru so much in his childhood, and oh how Daniel knows how to bring this side of Max. If Max can be warmer to certain drivers, for Daniel he has a whole SOFT SPOT, and i think that's very endearing. IMO, Daniel feels like the person that changed him in deeper ways we know, that one person that was indirectly a "life teacher" to him maybe, and thats special to me.

2. Brocedes (Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg) (Formula 1)

Oh, the ANGSTY in this one. yes, this one deserves the ANGSTY in all caps because to me that's them. Oh to have lived through their divorce must have been heartbreaking but what a freaking cinematic ship this one is. I just can't ignore it. How it feels to me that Nico is the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, while Lewis has that chilling Capricorn control over his emotions is so. just so. And the fact that Nico's legacy is forever entangled in Lewis' name. If a movie screenwriter would come up with this, i'd think it would be overdramatic, but no, theyre actually this unhinged.

Charlos (Charles Leclerc/Carlos Sainz) (Formula 1)

how do i even start talking about these two idiots? Okay, so obviously i think they're both very attractive and that definetely helped me to ship them lmao. But thats kind of reductive, because these two have sooo much chemistry in my opinion, even before their ferrari days, there was so much potential waiting to bloom, and it did. I love their banter, their competitiveness, how they can get childlike around each other sometimes. How they are so physical, how they make each other laugh (let me not talk about their gazes to each other or i will not end this today). I love how Carlos doesn't hide he wants to compete with Charles (which brings him unnecessary hate sadly), and how both respect each other in this stance. There's a bit of angsty underneath this soft/fluffy surface too (more from Carlos' perspective imo - but lets not forget Charles and Silverstone 2022 too - this is my charlos angsty origin story), but they still find their way, and that kind of compels me even more into them. I just think theres so many layers, multitudes, in the way we can create, write and read about them. Absolute favorites.

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Tagging @schumiatspa and @sainzjpeg 😊

obviously, feel free to ignore if you dont want to play, no hard feelings around here ❤, and also 7 ships are quite a work! if you're not tagged but want to make your list, feel free to do it and consider yourself tagged by me 😘

[jackienautism]

I just saw that post about your thoughts on the counselors and I'm curious, have there been any major changes since then?

i just skimmed the post youre talking abt (i write a lot huh) but honestly? i haven't had TOO many major changes since. JUST REALIZED ITS COMING UP TO AYEAR SINCE I POSTED IT IN MAY? THATS SO CRAZY TO ME WTF but anyway

nvm ill read through exactly what i said. the post is here btw

dylan: still pretty much the same opinion as back then LMAO i did have a more recent convo abt dylan (which def changed some thoughts abt him. esp related to his potential adhd and lack of a filter) but i stilll don't like him, sorry

nick: same thoughts as before honestly. i still think he doesn't deserve abi in the slightest. and his involvement w/ emma's dare still makes me very upset, ESP when the fanbase refuses to acknowledge his involvement in it lol. i dont doubt that racism comes into play w/ nick and his whole lack of a story and such, but i jut. i cant stand him

jacob: i take back the flip flop thing btw. i lowkey cant stand him. but to be honest:? ive gotten WAAAY less tolerant of male characters in general lately. and jacob is not exempt from this lol. i have yet to play TQ again (it's been quite a bit) but! maybe after we play tonight things will change. ill prob rb again if things do

ryan: HOWEVER. DO YOU KNOW /IS/ EXEMPT FROM MY "I HATE ALL MALE CHARACTERS" MINDSET? RYAN ERZAHLER. 100%. i love him lots and ppl r very mean to him fo r no reason. i talked abt this briefly in my angourie!cady post but just. when characters show certain autistic traits that YOU ALL cant deal w/ or understand, suddenly theyre a shitty person? they don't care abt their friends? theyre boring? KILLS YOU

max: he also is a pretty respectable guy to me i love you max. but as i said originally. i dont rly think abt him much

emma: she def had the biggest shift for me while playing the game for the first time!!!!! but in terms of like. if anything changed from when i wrote the original note? i dont rly think so tbh. reread waht i wrot eback then it rly makes it seem like i hate her 😭😭😭😭😭 I PROMISE I DONT..... I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SO MUCH...... SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME....... i just cant stand how she acts towards abi sometimes. def my biggest criticism of her. but at the same time. i understand WHY she acts the way she does. she means sooo muchto me. and esp seeing all your talk abt autistic emma? i just think that makes sooo much sense fo rher.and i LOVE it so much

kaitlyn: i dont even feel lik e going throuhg it all but. i feel like she may have gotten a little lower since i wrote that post? just bc i tjhink toooo many ppl think shes better than she actually is bc of her association w/ dylan? it pisses me off sooooo bad. and ive made posts abt this before but like. her character in general still aggravates me 😭 and i DO still stand by what i said in that og post. theres jsut... shes not that complex sorry guys. esp compared to EMILY? lLIKE. i know its unfair to compare the 2 but its pretty damn obvious that thye were going for another emily in kaitlyn lmao and they FAILED. MISERABLY

abi: oh.. abi oh abi i love you. i still hold her so close to me. she is so me for real (beats anyone up who says tjhat she's Them) i mean who said that

laura: LOVE U LAURA!!!!!!!!! i still dont have like TOO many in depth thouhgts abt her but just. know ever since i began roleplaying as her shes become THAT much more beloved and :] i love you girl

THAJK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS IN!!!! AND SORRY FOR TAKING A BIT TO ANSWER