#ill probably forget about it

[cybercritterinyourcomputer]

writing this on a whim because my brain is torturing me about it for some reason and i figured what better place to go than tumblr [this is somewhat sarcasm]. i do not particularly know why i am writing/asking this but im chucking it out there to ease the thoughts so i can go to sleep

to any systems or whatever or really anyone reading who found this through the tags i put here, how did you know you were a system. or plural or how did you start questioning it how did you figure it out. bear with me its past 2 am my writing is atrocious . how did you know if you never knew before?

i dont think im plural, but something wormed its way into my brain today or yesterday and i dont know why or when and and its not the first time this has popped into my brain i think. the thought of what if what if what if but im me. its my me it there its me its my thoughts and there is no other people in my brain just me myself and i. its not quiet it never is but it is just me

i think a clearer question i want to ask is: how can you tell if something is just dpdr[because i fear i may have that, unfortunately it is very likely] or this? this as in osdd or did or whatever

it would appear simple but unfortunately for a lot of my life my sense of self has been so broken and so messy because. fuck all everything happening i guess but its just me, truly. i talk to myself, i draw different versions of myself together, i split myself into many parts to cope with things, to highlight the different parts of me, variants. the wolf, the puppy, the robot, the hermit, the hollow, the dragon, and whatever the Me is i dont know who or what i am when im so many things and nothing at the same time. i didnt completely think about this but also how heavily i relate to certain characters in media but this may just be a nonhuman thing. i see so much of myself in certain characters and so much of them in me sometimes to the point where i dont know where i start and they end. but again i think that is just a nonhuman thing or a coping thing. because its still just me here

where does the age regression and nonhumanity start and where does it end when i rely on my creations of myself to keep me afloat. i only talk to myself through thinking and drawing, i dont talk to anybody else in my head, its all me. and unfortunately theres a pattern where i learn of something and i think about it and i go, "oh, no, no no, that is absolutely not me, never would dream of it! even thinking that i could be that is a crime to all the ones that truly have that!" and then it ends up being too true. the depression, the adhd, the age regression, the therianthropy, the hard denial of abuse, the hard denial of possible autism. my friends speculate i have ptsd or cptsd. i dont want to go down that line of thinking with this, i *know* i dont have it, but the fear

its annoying because ive never really been here present in my body im never really here and the horrors dont end and theres always been something wrong with me but i know its other things. i wont share the details, but the situation ive been in the past 8? months has been horrible horrid no good on my brain i hate being awake. and it feels like someone else took the reins but im still feeling the hurt i still have the memories but they dont feel like mine. my memories have never felt like my own but theyre mine and i have to write everything down or i will forget. i go to work i listen to family shit on me i go to work i do something all day but its not me im still in my room playing a game in my pjs but that was almost a year ago but im still there but i went to work but it wasnt me

because my mind is empty, its just me. it really truly is just me. i think im just lonely. and hoping someone could take me away from everything im always going through or for someone to be there. in my head

there was never anything to make me think this before, a couple times i have but years ago, for no reason, im quite sure its just me. i had imaginary friends as a kid which is normal for kids. i still kind of do but its just me talking to me, im saying two things. i think i just have a lot of possible trauma[i dont believe im traumatized but my friends are quite firm that my entire life has been a shitshow since i was born] and a lot of coping mechanisms plus the fact that i have to pretend for my family and me being trans and me being nonhuman and me so its mostly just that

i dont really know what exactly im even asking. i think im just throwing out a bone and praying for someone to go "yeah dude thats normal youre fine, youre normal" and for my brain to stop ruminating and its annoying. or for someone to ease my curiosity and fear and dread. im throwing out a bone, im begging for someone to glance my way, im begging for someone to tell me its okay. not the begging to be okay but to say that my brain is okay and that my life is okay

[cometshift]

[ID: art of subspace from phighting as a child, walking hand in hand with a tall figure who is meant to represent blackrock's leader. they are both silhouetted in black against a white, snowy background. subspace looks happy.]

and i held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me

[foxett]

Holy flip!! Fully colored suntan post?? Decently done grass??? Someone pinch me (day 10 suntan)

[wickerwax]

Rain - Codywan FKB snippet

“Sir,” he says, quiet, and watches Kenobi’s spine turn to beskar.

“Commander,” he responds, equally quiet. “All is well, the watch is undisturbed. You may continue to rest.”

Cody sits up. General Kenobi sighs. “Truly, Cody, nothing is wrong.”

“Respectfully, sir, but if that were true we would both be sleeping.” Cody is nettled enough to already be moving to his own stool at the table. He takes a close look at his General in the faint light of the renewed motion sensor but -

If it weren’t the middle of the night cycle, if he hadn’t woken suddenly and seen the faintest chinks in this man’s composure already, he would never have thought something was amiss. Kenobi is bright-eyed and steady, even the dampness curling his hair only making him look warmer and more real, the drip having ceased to be within moments.

He smiles at Cody. “Not so, Commander, for here we are. No alarms, no issues, just a spot of unexpected wakefulness.”

And it – it almost fits. Having woken for no real reason, his General would have checked with the watch that all was well. Might choose to sit and poke at the battle plans or flimsiwork for a bit if he had felt too awake to sleep.

His posture falling defeated though, just- doesn’t fit right. They’ve been in this together for over a year and he’s seen Kenobi in all manner of states but the man doesn’t lose his composure easily, doesn’t falter – has seen him beaten and bruised and all-but-unconscious from exhaustion and he simply moves with it all. The slump – the bend-

It doesn’t fit right at all.

He raises an eyebrow and Kenobi’s smile fades. He studies Cody across the table and he has never feared that bright, clear gaze but in this moment he does wonder what he sees. What he’s looking for.

He can only be what he is. Cody gazes back.

[redbean-nom]

fascinated by the implied fennec-ventress-phee friend group in tbb. even more interesting (funny) when you add boba in there during the tbobf era.

[larabar]

now I'm going through the game and imagining Sonic in thise scenarios. he would die again laughing at Knuckles attempting a cowboy accent. I can imagine him trying to use his gHoStLy PoWeRs to stop the bomb. oh god the image of him trying to hit it with a random broom (or smth like that) that was in the safe for some reason while the others aren't looking is now in my head

(also you don't need to get to this immediately. let the older asks go first they deserve it)

PLEASE

[comfortabletextiles]

It's my birthday today!!! I turn 30 years!!! 30!!!

Isn't that cool?? As a little gift to me I'll reblog what ever I want today, I think. One day for funsies 😌

If you want to blacklist, I'll Tag everything as "not fiber" and I'll try to Tag everything with the other appropriate tags!

I'd also like to stab Cesar together, I think that could be fun 😊

[keicordelle]

Thinking about Ryuu's first time on stage. Ryuu, who'd never performed in front of anyone before in his life. Ryuu, who grew up as a fisherman's son in Okinawa, and whose greatest aspiration is to fix his father's boat and send his brothers to university. Ryuu, who wasn't even on a popular sports team playing in front of a crowd before he joined up with TRIGGER.

Ryuu, surrounded by two of the most exacting people he's ever met, up on stage staring out at the people gathered there to see them. TRIGGER. And it doesn't matter if it's a dozen or a hundred or ten thousand, that first time it seems like a million. Two thousand eyes on you, hotter even than the spotlights making him sweat. No matter how you try to prepare yourself for that, you can never really be ready for the reality of that sort of thing.

Do you think he froze up? Got nervous and missed a cue? Tenn stepping in from behind him to make up for it, and he's smiling, because of course he's smiling, he's on stage, but Ryuu can feel how angry he's going to be later. Gaku trying to cover for his fumbled dance moves with a little extra charm, but it makes the weight on Ryuu's shoulders weigh all the more heavily.

He just wanted to fix his father's boat.

Stand on the stage. Sing. Dance. Smile. It sounds so easy.

It will be. Eventually. Easier, at least. Never easy.

[summerroseart]

Do you have any ideas about sonic boom childhood?

Okay, sO

I ABSOLUTLY do. I'm incredibly unwell about them. I'm like this constantly ⬇

I'm SO sorry this took so long for me to answer. My brain is a nightmare land, where there is no passage of time, and consistency and organization are nonexistent; but I finally got something that makes a bit of narrative sense down in docs.

I'm gonna put it under a cut, though, because it's pretty long. Enjoy my over 2k words of vaguely plot-shaped ramblings <3

Now, first off... You probably had something specific in mind when you asked, but I wasn't entirely sure if you meant backstories in my Paradise Lost AU, or just in Boom.

I'm gonna go with the latter, (the characters' childhoods in Sonic Boom) because it's… A bit simpler.

I pretty much have two parallel AUs: my general 'Boom is the Sequel to Underground' worldbuilding, which has backstories for the main Boom timeline, (what I'll be going into here); and PL, which takes place after the events of Sonic Boom, but in which most of Sonic Underground is not canon. The plot of Paradise Lost is based on Aleena not listening to the prophecy, and so the forewarned 'deadly fate' comes to fruition. (A lot of things are consistent across both stories, though, so Paradise Lost is… An AU of this AU. Sorta.)

Now, For Sonic Boom as it's own thing, I do think it's fine to leave it ambiguous, and consistent with what's established in the general Sonic canon, and to think of it as taking place a few years after the mainline games, or just letting it be what it is, because it's Very hard to tie it to anything else.

But! There's also a lot of really weird one-liners and episodes that made me think WAY too hard about the possible world building; and somehow, Sonic Underground fits really well into the vague narrative that exists in Boom. And so that's where my AU headcanons come in. :D

Anyway.

In this one, the events of Sonic Underground are pretty much all still canon. There are a few things I'd retcon (mostly just Angel Island lore– see Knuckles' section), but for the most part, it would stay as-is. Tragic Character Backstories™ for the triplets, as explained in Origins episodes, are also still the same.

After the single season of Underground that we got, I'd like to think there would still be a lot of wild-goose-chase scenarios, but a few plot-heavy ones as well.

Early on, I have the (altered) SA2 storyline. Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are all still somewhat inexperienced heroes (in comparison to Sonic in-game). There are no active Chaos Emeralds, so the crystal they're trying to prevent Robotnik from using to power the ARK, is a shard of the Master Emerald. The triplets use their music to inspire Shadow to help them redirect the ARK's crash-course for the planet, and then things go wrong, with Shadow plummeting to earth and losing his memories, while the triplets think he dies. None of them are really sure they consider it a win.

They meet Tails not too long after that, on a routine mission to Westside Island. He had been abandoned as a baby and was raised by flickies in the woods. Sonic rescued him from some bullies, and he helped Manic to fix their van after it had broken down. After growing attached, the boys convinced Sonia to let him tag along, (she gave in because he was adorable and she didn't want him to be left alone out in the forest anymore).

Even though he's brilliant, and they love having him around, they get worried about his safety after getting caught up in a few battles with SWATbots and Sleet and Dingo, (especially after what happened on the ARK) and soon decide to bring him to Sanctuary.

Tails decides he's going to prove that he can keep up with them, and ditches Sanctuary to try and infiltrate a Robotnik base. He gets caught, and the triplets have to go and save him, but he still manages to copy a bunch of plans and files onto a hard drive, and bring it back to the Resistance. The triplets reassure him that they were just trying to look out for him, and keep him safe, but ultimately they cave and let him stick with them.

As far as Eggman goes, he's a modified clone of Robotnik; created to act as an heir to his empire (in the same vein as Robotnik Jr. from AoSTH). He briefly teams up with the Freedom Fighters and helps take down Robotnik.

I'm bad at conceptualizing battles RIP but after all's said and done, Aleena reclaims the throne; Sonic, Sonia, and Manic are declared her heirs; Tails and Knuckles are honorarily knighted for their efforts, and things are on their way to officiate the Council of Four.

After all that, Knuckles returns to Angel Island, and Tails was offered a place in the palace, helping with tech and security and such.

Unfortunately for Sonic, he quickly begins to realize that this Council of Four "destiny" really isn't what he wants in life, and he doesn't think he's suited to run a kingdom. In the spur-of-the-moment decision after an argument with Sonia and Manic, he chooses to leave. Tails offers to go with him, and they steal a small fighter jet from the palace hangar and take off, with the intent to have as many adventures as possible, and learn about all that the world has to offer, before Sonic's family inevitably drags him back to Mobodoon. (They have to catch him first).

They eventually find out Eggman (who doesn't really know what to do with himself anymore because his whole purpose was to take over Robotnik's empire) is beginning to walk in Robotnik’s footsteps… Sorta. The siblings had encouraged him to follow his dreams, and make his own path in life. So, Eggman decided that what he really wanted was to build a theme park in his own image, but he goes about it in like,,, the worst way possible (If he somehow achieves world domination along the way then it's a win-win). So Sonic shows up whenever he starts wreaking complete havoc. (Which happens regularly.)

Sonic also eventually finds out Shadow is alive, but doesn't remember who he is, and he once again finds Sonic completely insufferable. So, thanks to Shadow's very thin patience, they tend to either beat each other up, or ignore each other. Sonic sort of tries to be his friend, since he knows Shadow has the potential for good, but they don't resolve their issues before the events of Boom.

Knuckles' backstory is pretty standard. He still grew up alone on Angel Island, but the differences lie in the lore of the Chaos Emeralds and Master Emerald.

The Chaos Emeralds are in stasis– think the Special Zones in the early games or like… smth like how they were kept on the Starfall Islands in Frontiers. None of the characters have access to them (yet)

The Master Emerald was shattered by the Guardian Priestess in order to keep it out of Robotnik’s hands, leaving Angel Island to fall into the ocean. The pieces were scattered, but the shards still hold a lot of power. However, because they're broken, they're incredibly unstable. Knuckles only ever found a few pieces, and just thought they were the Chaos Emeralds.

He has an extremely poor memory thanks to a head injury he received during the fight for the master emerald (he was only like 4 or smth), paired with the trauma of losing his entire tribe. He hardly remembers any of it by the time he meets the triplets. What he does know, is that he's the guardian of the island, and that he's supposed to protect the 'chaos emerald', and outsiders are bad news.

He mostly stayed away from the temples, after everyone had been killed, preferring to keep to the older city ruins, taking care of chao and his pet salamander*, and sticking to his routines, when he hasn't been called on to help the triplets.

*I've decided that Chomps, his "dinosaur" (salamander) is actually the same species as the one used to create the Bio Lizard

I'm retconning Althair being a living character because I said so. He should've been a spirit– or even better, Tikal.

Amy, I headcanon as Knuckles' sister. (I don't think it'll ever be canon, but I like having fun with the concept). They were separated as children, with Amy being taken to Mobius as a baby in order to protect her, and they don't know they're related.

- Amy is a hybrid, while Knuckles is fully Echidna. She was documented as a hedgehog because those traits were a lot more prominent when she was a baby. (General hc that mobian children tend to take after one parent species or the other, and hybrids are comparatively rare. They're often still documented as one species or the other because it's not always obvious at first or it's 'easier.' Blended species families tend to have actual last names instead of their species for consistency*.)

*I have more headcanons about naming conventions, too, but this is getting tangential <3

Their mom was a Priestess for the Master Emerald, similar to Tikal. Both Amy and Knuckles inherited her strength, though Amy's clairvoyance would end up being stronger. She was blessed by the Fates of Chaos (thing I made up) as an infant, and gifted her hammer for protection and deliverance of justice, and her fortune cards to help guide her. When the war started, Robotnik aimed to go after anyone with oracular abilities, in order to absolve himself of any possible "fated" loss. (He was unsuccessful in defeating the Oracle of Delphius).

In order to protect her, Amy's mother had her father take her back to Mobius, where she could be hidden from Robotnik under the guise of being a hedgehog.

Her father was never super hands-on, tending to leave her alone for long periods of time as he went out to aid the Freedom Fighters. Amy started visiting Vanilla when she was six, not too long after Cream was born, because she needed to borrow some vegetables, and the nice-looking lady down the road had a pretty garden.

Her dad stopped coming back when she was eight (he was caught by Robotnik and roboticized). She knew that he would stop coming home eventually– her cards had told her as much– but it was still hard to understand. She spent a lot more time with Vanilla after that, but still grew to be extremely independent.

After the war ended, Amy began helping Vanilla's friend, Vector, and his detective agency with finding people's missing family members. She would sometimes use her cards on particularly difficult cases, and in her off time, would regularly play matchmaker for Vector and Vanilla.

On her thirteenth birthday, she went to Little Planet, following her cards in search of her own destiny. Unfortunately, this was at the same time that Eggman decided it would be the perfect place to put a theme park, and so she got caught up in the crossfire of his and Sonic's ensuing battle.

She fell for Sonic pretty much immediately. He was cute, and witty, and strong, and basically the epitome of a teen hero. But he was also extremely arrogant and egotistical. Tails, she found, was pretty much Sonic's yes-man. Sonic never put him down, or anything, and obviously loved the kid a lot; but he tended to follow Sonic's lead, and both of them were fairly brash and dismissive towards her��� Something she really wasn't a fan of. She still flirted with Sonic quite a bit, but her short temper meant that they end up butting heads even more.

They ultimately parted ways, though she still felt somewhat drawn to Sonic; and she was still hopeful that they could become friends. They bumped into each other a few more times after that, but they didn't stick together as an official team, until the Rise of Lyric incident.

Craving adventure, and fascinated by Little Planet and the ruins that were there before Eggman got to it, is what inspired her to pursue archeology, and anthropology.

Amy and Knuckles officially met each other for the first time on Angel Island. Amy was there on an archeological expedition, interning with Cliff, and they were exploring the ruins there. Knuckles decided to follow them around to prevent them from causing any trouble, or disturbing any remains. They spent the entire time squabbling over the 'correct' way to do things, until Cliff reassured them both that they would respect Knuckles' culture and wishes, even if that meant leaving the island altogether.

While they were there, Eggman targeted Angel Island as another Potential Theme Park Location, and Amy and Knuckles had to team up to stop him. At the end of it all, Amy invites Knuckles to go back to Seaside with her. He accepts, ultimately tired of the isolation, and figures he can be a treasure hunter like her. (The explanation that treasure hunting was a completely different thing went right over his head.)

Sticks was raised by her great aunt, who took her in after her parents died. (Mentioned offhandedly in Closed Door Policy as the one who gave her the beehive. I've decided her name was Honey, because puns.)

Honey had gone completely off-grid during the war, and taught Sticks most of her survival skills. She kept up with what was going on via newspaper, and didn't throw much of anything away because it could be useful. The paranoia, delusions, and auditory hallucinations were genetic, which contributed to both Sticks' and Honey's isolation.

Honey died of an illness when Sticks was about seven, and she was on her own after that. She rarely went into the village during the day unless it was for something she needed, or if she got lonely, but she still never really interacted with anyone. It was the villagers that regularly called her a feral, and most of them went out of their way to avoid her.

So, she had a lot of time to herself, and mostly spent it making complex traps and defense systems, or wandering around the island; having to figure out how to get herself out of countless dangerous situations on her own.

She was twelve when the others arrived on the island, and Knuckles got caught in one of her traps while exploring the jungle, and when she finally let him down, he brought her back to officially meet the others. They thought she was a little strange, but so were the rest of them. She was nice enough. She joined their team after an Eggman attack where they found she could hold her own really well against his bots, while keeping up with the rest of them.

A few other little things:

The brown scarf Sonic wears was a gift from Tails, as an easy way to hide his medallion, so they wouldn't get caught. The only reason it's brown, is because Tails is colorblind and thought it matched Sonic's red shoes. (Sonic didn't correct him.)

---

Tails' goggles in Boom are made from polarized red glass, because the tint helps to enhance the differences between red and green. He wears them when flying his plane, or engineering, in order to quickly read light signals and differentiate wiring colors.

---

Amy's bengals are also inhibitor rings, designed specifically to temper her clairvoyance, but also put a cap on her chaos energy. She can use Chaos Control to summon her hammer, and put it away, but only if she knows its exact location (which is why she keeps it on a hook near her door, and why she freaks out if she loses it). Without her inhibitors, her powers become stronger, but less stable.

---

The necklace Sticks wears is made from her mom's old wedding ring. When she was five, she turned it into a necklace with a few random beads and shells she had collected from the beach. She never takes it off, but she's had to repair and replace the cord a couple of times.

She really does keep the burrow spotless– old food draws in pests, and she doesn't actually have much trash, as most items in her home are made of natural materials. When something breaks, she either repairs it or throws it out without issue.

She's really good at spear fishing, which is the main reason she can hold her breath for so long, and dive so deep without any gear.

Idk what else to add, so I'm gonna leave it here for now. Thanks for the ask :D

[woolying]

I LOVE U FANGANS !!! I LOVE U DR OCS !!!

just a few i enjoy <3 yay sooo cool ooough

dr mira : @gooseagain8 drsg : @danganronpasurvivorsguilt dr50th : @okthatsgreat drdw : @sir-sunny

the stupid idiot is mine teehee

[harukapologist]

have a sketch of mido and haruka from yesterday :33333

[dreamsy990]

this joke mightve worked better for dream drop distance in retrospect

[rushthehollow]

25 days of coasters / 21. magnum xl-200, cedar point # of rides: 37 / last ridden: fall 2024

a very long overdue addition into my top 25! this ride is an absolute masterpiece; from how it operates with 3 trains, the absolute blast of a ride experience, & the powerful finale. i hadn't felt like i was able to truly appreciate just how good this ride was until i got the chance to work it for my final few months at cedar point. it was completely revolutionary for its time and holds up INCREDIBLY well today.

i've had multiple rides where i'd put it as my second favorite in the park, though that'd really mess up my overall rankings ... but really! it's just so good. i love the jank, the airtime, the music, the theme, the tunnels, and i absolutely loved operating it with 3 trains. the night rides are FANTASTIC, especially when the water park is completely dark ... i love how it's still almost so trapped in the 1980's, yet that doesn't deter it from being one of the best rides overall today.

trimless row 3 is an out of body experience. please give this ride more love because it deserves it & i don't find the experience that painful at all. it's just jank & old which adds so much to the charm!

[nailgunstigmata]

thinking about the fact that young chilchuck used to have freckles and in the genderswap mirror verse he has pigtails….meijack looking so much like her dad while taking after his interests and also having her moms eyes is very important to me. its so cute

[bitchfendi]

a prediction for nwos. or at least the reaction to it.

i think people will walk away from the game confused/unsure and it'll take a couple of weeks or months for the definitive consensus

[rebellum]

I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.

Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.

Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.