#and then side stepping it entirely
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soukoku shippers can NEVER come after kunizai now with the excuse of them having no angst i think they honestly win tragic yaoi of the year award WAIT UNTIL DAZAI HEARS HIS PARTNER GOT TURNED INTO A 7/11 $2.50 FROST GLACIER SLUSHIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#ITS SO OVER WHAT THE FUCK………#IVE BEEN JUMPING OVER SPOILERS LIKE ITS THE OLYMPICS BUT NOTHING PREPARED ME FOR HAVING TO CONFRONT THE FACT#THAT DAZAI WILL HAVE TO COME HOME AND REALIZE THAT KUNIKIDA IS GONE#head in my hands i’m fucking MISERABLE right now#IMAGINE BEING TORN FROM YOUR FAMILY AND COMING BACK TO REALIZE THE ONE PERSON WHO MADE YOUR HOUSE A HOME#WHO HAS GUIDED YOU INTO YOUR NEW LIFE#WHO HAS STAYED BY YOUR SIDE AND TRUSTED YOU WITH THEIR ENTIRE HEART#IS NOW DEAD? AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT THEM? WITHOUT THE STEPPING STONE?#IM ACTUALLY GOING TO KMS THIS IS NOT OKAY ASAGIRI#bsd 117#bsd#knkdz
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Blind side (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Papyrus#Gaster#Sans closing his good eye every once in a while and keeping his blind eye open - obviously he does so in-game as well so it's a style-match#It's just interesting in the context of him being textually-confirmed blind in Handplates hehe#There's a level of vulnerability there! Not more than closing both eyes around someone - and potentially also distrust!#''I'm baring myself blind right now but /you/ don't need to know that'' - it suits him ♪#Especially when he does it around Papyrus! Because obviously Papyrus knows about his partial blindness#But when he's trying to be duplicitous - the way he looks at him sidelong with his blind eye when he's trying to lie unsuccessfully ugh <3#And again-again it being about how much he trusts Papyrus! That he can be a little lazy or spacey and Papyrus will help him!#Also something about his entire right side being impaired - pawing around with his plated hand for something he can't see on that side#The dynamics! Internal and external! Very good like them lots#And then there's Gaster lol ♪ Throw him into the mix I'm sure it won't make a mess at all haha#I guess he's visiting? Just spacing out - he and Sans have a lot on their minds - separately haha#I do love how Sans pushes Gaster to be kind to Papyrus - very deservedly! He wants Papyrus to be happy of course#And he's obviously still angry with Gaster a lot but how might that present itself when Papyrus is Papyrus at Gaster hehe#Even just in that small jokey way of ''you tryin' to step on my turf?'' hehehe#Especially since the comparison wouldn't even come up if he had two functioning eyes hm?? Right Gaster???? Lol#Speaking of that scene and Sans' partial blindness tho ughhughuhg <3 <3 The fact that Sans stands with Gaster to his blind side#It's the vulnerability/distaste/confidence of it all! He's grown up so much it's all right there in how he holds himself#That he either trusts Gaster enough not to attack him - starting to believe him - or that he has enough faith in himself to protect himself#And only looking at him with his peripherals unless he looks directly at him hghhhgh I am Normal about shot composition I swear lol#Also I like how that last panel turned out lol - Sans just appears at the bottom of the steps like how's it going. care to gtfo thx
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The Anya-Twilight interaction in the middle of this chapter is pretty interesting.
The Anya side of this interaction seems clear enough in that she's trying to obfuscate when asked about her exposure to classical language. The fact we don't see her face as she claims she doesn't remember makes me think she very possibly *does*, but doesn't want to talk about it. And, of course, as I've seen pointed out already, her face when she's first asked is very reminiscent of how she looks in the recent 'Ania' short chapter. She has thoughts/feelings about her past and they've clearly affected her, but they're not for the audience to see yet.
However, the Twilight side of this? I'm a bit stunned at how obviously he does not want to be asking this question of Anya. We know he's considered there's some reason in her past for her knowledge of classical language. We know he's a chronic overthinker. Even last chapter, he was thinking of this, but didn't ask. Anya getting second place though basically removes any plausible deniability. If he doesn't ask now, he's neglecting his duty. But still, he has to work up to it, almost leaves the room before he decides to broach the topic, and when he does, he *mumbles* it. Twilight doesn't really *act* with Anya when it's just them. His mumbling is not an act; it's reluctance.
His reluctance to ask the question of Anya is, in some ways, more egregious than how easily he drops the topic once Anya claims she doesn't remember. Not pushing her further and bringing the topic up later is a valid tactic (and likely one we may see), but we can see that he knows there's more to it. Unlike the audience, he can see her face, after all. And for now, he's indicated he won't push further despite that knowledge. By choosing to back off and patting Anya instead, he's (in a very low-key way admittedly) prioritising Anya over the mission.
It's just so neat how this one interaction showcases so much about the both of them. It hammers in Anya's trauma about her past, without spelling it out in words, but at the same time, it shows how Twilight's approach to fatherhood vs his mission are coming increasingly into conflict. We've had something similar on a larger scale with the recent Yuri-mole arc, with his role as Yor's spouse vs the mission, but it's still playing out on a smaller scale in scenes like this. And it's fascinating how the mission isn't always the clear-cut winner anymore. Sure, early on, we had Twilight sabotaging the Eden entry interview, but that was a moment of passion inspired by his whole "not wanting children to cry" deal. In other words, fuelled by some of his own trauma. In the recent chapters though, he's had time to think and justify before he acts. But the pendulum is still swinging towards his family when given the chance.
#spy x family#sxf manga spoilers#admittedly whilst I like that he's starting to choose his family more I think sxf has a more nuanced approach to the whole deal#if you spend your time saving the world but not your family then you're still neglecting them. And on the other side#if you say you want to be there for your family bc you don't want to see children cry? Well if there's war then your family will suffer#sxf seems to push for the idea that these two wings should work in tandem. it's not being there for your family OR working for world peace#one doesn't work without the other. and yeah they're on two entirely different scales of magnitude if you take a step back but#they feed into each other? the mission IS important (war would tear apart families) but so is being there WITH them.
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thinking about josh ponyboy half brothers au again tonight. sigh. when will it end.
#i need ppl to care about this half as much as i do i feel crazy#someone please let me yap your ear off and i will convince u trust!!!!!!!!!#lil baby ponyboy who’s half brother to his bigger full brothers and his entire life just feels like he’s the wrong side of family#like. they’re brothers. but he’s not brother to them the way they are to each other.#pony who learned bits and pieces of spanish from his dad and then his dad died and he had nobody to speak spanish with. sighhhhhhhhh#pony’s dad being step dad to soda and darry…..nah he’s the dad who stepped up fr#the outsiders#outsiders musical#outsiders broadway#ponyboy curtis
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The thing that kills me about the Star Wars prequel trilogy and why I will die on my hill that my problem is not that Star Wars is a tragedy, its that its a badly written tragedy, is that Anakin Skywalker was at his closest to being a good Jedi when he was ten years old.
#im not an anakin apologist by any means because I get the point of his character and Im not pro or anti jedi#my only real opinion on all of it is similar to what I was saying about Peter and Tony and the MCU yesterday#its badly written. its EVERYONE being contorted into shapes that dont make a ton of sense in service to#getting characters to where they need to end up for certain things to occur#my opinion is not that Anakin is inherently bad or good or that the Jedi are inherently bad or good#its that their entire conflict was set in motion by forcing the Jedi to act in ways that felt massively OOC when they were#first interviewing him as a kid and like.....I ACCEPT that the Jedi are supposed to be for the most part kindhearted and empathetic and all#of that which is why its so noteworthy in my opinion that this does not match with how they were FORCIBLY portrayed in those early movies#in order to ENGINEER the idea that this kid in desperate need of support but already with a lot of good instincts and positive traits#came to the order of kindly supportive literal empaths and everything went downhill from there#like kindly supportive literal empaths would not in my opinion look at a kid trying his best to be brave & stoic in completely intimidating#circumstances and surroundings and be judgmental and fairly dismissive about it as though theyve never met a kid before let alone a#traumatized one and the fact that thats kinda what happened is in contrast to how a lot of pro anakin people frame that NOT proof#that the Jedi order are inherently bad its that in that key scene and multiple others#the Jedi order were BADLY WRITTEN in pursuit of one pre-determined outcome that mattered more to the script/Lucas than#being true to their core conceit and characterizations. and thats just one example out of dozens I could list and the same holds true for#anakin's side of things so thats why I always steer far away from SW discourse#because Im like the problem with the characters in terms of the most iconic arc is not really any of the characters so much#as the plots refusal to let them actually consistently BE characters rather than just fixed and contrived stepping stones on the way to#the desired endpoint
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the ii neg tumblr blog is like my actual personal #1 enemy i cant BELIEVE they followed me over a joke ask i responded to over a year ago (i blocked them and have blocked every account they've remade lmao) just such hateful bullshit looking for ANY excuse to attack this random youtube webseries and the ppl who work on it including MANY STATEMENTS that are just straight up not true. someone could send them an ask like "hey justin is actually homophobic and called me slurs irl i hope they all die in a car crash <3" and they will post it without any questions. no further research cuz it isnt about what's true or actually offering constructive criticism on the writing of the show it's about being hateful and cruel and spreading lies & death threats. some actual famous people dont have accounts as dedicated to attacking them and every aspect of their identity and career as these random ass guys who make a YOUTUBE WEBSERIES do like why are you actively wishing death upon them?? are you insane?
IF YOU DONT LIKE THE SHOW THEN STOP WATCHING IT. DONT ENGAGE? like do you seriously have fucking nothing better to do than spread lies online about literal nobodies with the smallest amount of online influence. for reasons i cannot even fathom. be so fucking serious
#it's like the worst parts of the su crit side of tumblr circa 2018 except about people who are LITERALLY not famous#like even if ur gonna have bullshit “criticism” about ii at least keep it about the actual show#harassing the cast & crew and spreading malicious lies is sooo fucking sick#like tumblr BANNED your blog for ABUSE AND PHYSICAL THREATS OF VIOLENCE#why would you REMAKE IT?????#like just leave. move on with your life. what could you be getting out of this can you please find some joy and positivity#that you are so clearly lacking#blah blah disclaimer there are actual legitimate things to criticize about ii and some of the writing decisions#although i still think holding them to the standard of a professional tv show with a writing room is unfair and kinda ridiculous#but even if they actually cared about that it's like 5% of their content. if ur gonna critique ii be normal and polite about it#which you should do with ANYONE especially when talking about their decade-long passion project regardless of how “famous” they are#but for fucks sake leave the crew alone. wouldnt blame them if they decided to go entirely offline#they've definitely Stepped Away for the time being which is for the best even if i miss some of their thoughts + insight#sorry i accidentally was reminded that blog existed and read some of the shit they've been saying and was overcome with rage#WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN. social justice (which they are not doing under any circumstances) is not an excuse to be so cruel and hateful#anyway if the osc gets even like 10% more negative on god im leaving again#which im sure most people would be happy about#but either way im still tormenting the timeline#txt#/ ii neg#<- just in casee
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How To Be A Good Writer
Read a lot & have an idea of what is and is not good to you in a book/writing
Have an idea that you want to write
Allow the idea to simmer in your mind until you’re completely sure that this is what you want to write
Do so much research
Binge-write and use about 8% of said research
Write a little bit more as it comes to you
Stop writing for probably months/return to step 4
Be reminded of the thing you were writing & start thinking of it again
Mental & emotional agony
Go back to what you have written and fix it with the shame you previously lacked
Repeat until finished/stuck on step 7
This is intended to imply days, weeks, and/or months of time between each step, but please go at whatever pace suits you best! This is your writing, after all, so just use this as a guideline :)
#writing#writing tips#writing help#writing struggles#I’m usually stuck on steps 3 4 and/or 7. there’s nothing to be ashamed of!!#and though having beta readers can be helpful I understand that there are some situations where that’s not an option#or you just might not want to show anyone your writing! this is entirely valid.#I for one would be willing to show someone my work with the condition that I don’t know them#but that makes it a bit hard to actually do. I don’t really know how to do that tbh#anyone stuck on step 9 just go back to step 1 honey you’re doing great okay? okay#step 1 is probably the most important step#step 1 is also the most enjoyable step for most who don’t reach the step 11 end#writing side of tumblr
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IAU Time's biggest regret?
- hero-of-the-wolf
Time: I let Wild have glitter glue once.
Time: ...never again.
#answers from the floor#lovely hero of the wolf#incredibles au#ask the blorbos#he knew exactly what you were asking and side-stepped it entirely#Time's not spilling his secrets that fast
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some stinky little guy made me worry all night until a strange man gave him food because he had a tummy ache
#im watching my partner's cat while they're out of the country#and this dude (cat) decided that it would be a great time to get nauseous#he is... umm... very much not a nice cat (I'm on his good side though) so the emergency vet visit at 10 o'clock at night was not ideal#the only way the vet could get him to even step on the scale and not hiss was to give him an entire tube of tuna flavored snack™#im tired. what a tiring evening.
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit
#sewing#sewing machines#I am so close to finishing this dumb swimsuit that I started in 2020 for a vacation that ended up not happening#and which I stuffed into a shoebox and into the back of my sewing stash when I realized I wouldn't get to wear it in 2020#then pulled it back out to finish for this family gathering coming up in a few days here#it's a one-piece suit and I hate one-piece swimsuits#and no one-piece has fit me off the rack since puberty so I'm stuck sewing it for myself#but I'm very happy with the design and relatively happy with the finished look#the idea is just to have something that is supportive and modest enough to wear around family#and in particular to wear to something like a waterpark with my nephews#something that won't ride up or fall down or come untied or anything like that#so it has a low-cut leg hole and a high-cut neck#and an entire invisible superstructure in the lining underneath to actually provide support and enclosure and all#it's plain black but it fits and supports and won't fly apart at the seams#but this very last step. oh this last step.#I had to drape the exterior bust area directly on me bc I can't account for curves and stretch and such if it's flat on the table#and then I had to wiggle out of it carefully with a ton of pins in the underarm and neckline area#I'm using a double-needle to top stitch the edges as a finish across the whole suit. it did one underarm and the neckline just fine!#but the turn from where the neckline meets the strap and down into the other underarm it just. won't do it.#it has thrown a fit and created a tangle of thread multiple times now. there are only 4" left to sew! just sew it!#it's not hard! we just did the exact same thing on the other side and it worked fine! but no! gotta throw a hissy fit!#ugh. anyway. I have removed all the thread and needles from the machine and turned it off and basically sent it to timeout lol#wrote this rant and gonna make myself some food and I'll fucking finish those last 4 inches later tonight or tomorrow#and then I have one tiny repair to something else I want to take on this trip. hopefully my sewing machine won't throw a fit over that too#istg the only projects this doesn't happen with are the ones that end with a bunch of handsewing#that's the way to trick my sewing machine I guess. but I'm not handsewing a swimsuit lol#at least I'm not so pressed for time that I can't just walk away from it for a bit. getting close to time to pack but not quite yet#my sewing#2024 mood#tagtalking
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how many times have you watched this scene or are you normal
#my thasmin is like. this little interaction but all the time#obsessed obsessed obsessed with it#the way she falls over the way yaz holds onto her basically the most tightly we like ever see anyone hold onto 13#the way she wipes the sensation of yazs hands off her afterwards#the way shes so out of her mind#the way it's yaz who gets the worst of it bc shes always closest#shes always closest so she gets the ugliest side of the doctor. for her loyalty she gets this#and 13 Wants to give her so much more and she just...Cant#the way yaz knows this and accepts this#the way she knows everything and 13 knows she knows everything without her ever telling her anything bc#she knows yaz has been here. exactly here. right next to her every time. the closest#how could yaz /not/ know everything#she doesnt need to be told. shes seen everything. she may not know the details she may not know the stories. but she knows#'you dont understand ANYTHING' and she just goes 'alright. it's alright'#how many of these scenes have there been that we havent seen? if you ask me........Many#10 months between revolution and flux where it was just them and the doctor was chasing anything division? yeah Many#they barely touch each other too wheni write them#like they touch each other. duh. but it's like. its so tentative always its so careful and this is soooo physical#it has the same force as 'we were worried about you' but it lasts like. 20 entire seconds#i love when they touch each other like that i love when yaz steps over the boundaries#like when i made her beat up 14. feels good feels organic fhkghjg#or any time shes angrydepressed and she makes a pass at the doctor#its like jsut touch me just touch me just touch me for once#like how much time has she spent alone with 13 with no human around not getting any physical contact whatsoever#anyway
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despite physical appearances, I think one of the really tragic and powerful parts of ffxv is Noctis is a lot more like Ardyn than he is like Somnus and the fact that both of them were literally imprisoned by the gods on Angelgard makes that very apparent
#they’re both sentenced to misery and death#and while others can step back and see the sacrifice as worth it for the greater good#they’re not allowed to do that because the sacrifice is literally their entire selves#and they don’t even have a choice#noctis’s fate isn’t heroic it is cruel#and he isn’t graceful in accepting it nor should he be#and you can tell that ardyn wants to treat him like somnus so bad#but he can’t because he and Noctis are two sides of the same tragedy#anyways I have emotions about this#ffxv
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I’ve assigned this man green so aggressively in my head that every time I remember his eyes are blue I get scared
#I basically hate every time I’ve drawn him up until this point which is fun#need to work on entirely redesigning his face I’m just not fucking w it anymore#step one: side profile#jack alston#the last binding fanart#the last binding#a power unbound#freya marske#lord hawthorn
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It has been a year and I can confidently say that, yes, physically I feel much better having bumped back down to the minimum dose of ‘ADHD’ meds (buproprion).
But also: Good grief I miss the higher dose. I’m definitely struggling more with executive dysfunction and life management and motivation stuff. 😣
On the bright side, this minimum dose does seem to be doing fine at keeping my mood in a reasonable range, which is what I was MOST worried about with the med change. So. That’s good!
#medication mention#health flails#actually adhd#I’d talk to a psychiatrist about maybe trying a more trad adhd med at a low dose to SUPPLEMENT the buproprion#but this entire issue has been that I just seem to be sensitive as fuck to anything and everything that even vaguely resembles a stimulant#which is uh#inconvenient!when I have ADHD!#my brain and my heart & central nervous system need to settle their differences dammit#hmnnn the other option is bumping the bupropion back up one step if the doc doesn’t think the side effects were *harmful*?#idk. the physical symptoms were much more unpleasant than the general not-quite-managed ADHD#but the not-quite-managed-ADHD is much more greatly affecting my LIFE nad my goals and my overall fulfilment#and also my uh. driving. I can notice a difference in my driving and I do NOT like that >_>;#life flails#complaining
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What is the Scoundrel thinking about as they go through in this ship? Did they get down to the lowest level yet.
...did they find the thing that is in the deck. Admist the wax?
it isn't thinking anything, really. it's just- moving. quickly. no it's not breathing frantically that's just how its chest works. no its hands aren't trembling they just happen to feel a bit chilly today. if they pick on the (now thoroughly blood-soaked) bandages on their arms, well, that's their business!! it doesn't mean they're scared. they're perfectly calm. look at them!!! they're smiling!!!!! they're having a Delightful time!!!!!!!!
now where was that pesky-
oh.
oh, they need to get the hell out of here.
#tldr; panicked screaming#ask#fallen london#fallen london spoilers#honored to just halfway liveblog this specific chapter of evolution to yall lol#the most relief they've had on this entire ship was finding their bird. they actually quite like their bird.#mostly because it enables piracy which enables money which is the sole reason they tolerate zailing period#but yknow. small steps.#ive been walking around without the mask mostly just to see the cool horror text but on the rp side of things#the delighted status probably just falls onto the exact end of 'fucking around with their mind' that the scoundrel Doesn't Enjoy#so they avoid it. as much as possible. even when the horrors#honestly going by character stuff alone putting it on would probably increase their nightmares tenfold rather than remove em#but gameplay mechanics are gameplay mechanics and i don't mind lol#they arent even particularly bothered by body horror. they wanna train shapeling arts.#they did the entire Body Horror Shebang in godfall earlier in this very same questline#it's. somehow very specifically that + fucking with their head. also being on a boat in the middle of the zee with no way out#honestly their weird inexplicable boat phobia may be like 70% of this#scoundrelventures
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