#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜
PART 2
part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' series
⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (completed)
⋙ product description (summary): okay so you finally realized how badly you fucked up. but is it too late? will choso even talk to you now? has he moved on for good or is it that you now have to worry about someone else moving onto him? ⋙ side effects (tw): more drama. more angst. teasing. jealousy. thirsting. mentions of sex and oral sex. intoxication with drug & alcohol use. sending nudes. y/n is still a brat. bitchy sorority sisters. party culture. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 8.2k of 22.1k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. i appreciate y'all liking this sm hope you don't mind i split this up more, but the second part was getting too unruly in length lol
Plug!Choso who you thought forgetting about would be relatively easy. Overwhelmed with the sheer amount of new presidential duties, you had no shortage of various meetings to keep you occupied. Even so, Choso had a way of popping into your mind as the most routine things would remind you of him.
You couldn’t go get a fresh set of nails without expecting to see his tinted blacked-out sedan parked outside waiting for you. Scrolling socials had also become annoying as you’d see a post and immediately want to send it to Choso— your sorority sisters would think you were gross if you sent them mukbang videos. You couldn’t even bake anything anymore, especially anything chocolate, without reminding yourself of how much Yuji hated nuts in his chocolate chip cookies.
Or even now when you had been walking across campus with your sisters and chatting about the massive proposal plan of next year’s sorority activities. A daunting task on its own which you had to submit to your national chapter by the end of the month. In fact, there were a lot of tedious things you realized you’d now be responsible for as president.
However, all of that flew out of your mind when a car sped by blasting a familiar rock song— one that Choso always played.
Stopping in your tracks you whipped your head around but the music was coming from a completely different car. The disappointment in your chest felt like you were suffocating.
The song was the first one from Choso’s ‘stoner emo boy playlist’ that you’d actually admitted you liked so he made sure to play it whenever you came around. You didn’t think you were official enough to have a song, but it felt like you did when you’d heard it just now.
Although what pained you more in the moment was the fact Choso hadn’t even bothered to text you since the day of the brunch. Your pride and guilt kept you from texting him initially but after the first week you caved and did what you once thought was unthinkable— texting a guy first.
You’d thought he’d answer instantly, happy you’d finally forgiven him for nearly ruining your brunch and you did want to apologize for missing Yuji’s game. But when 20 minutes turned into an hour and an hour turned into the entire day you realized he was ignoring you.
Choso was a dealer.
He always had his phone on him. In fact, Choso used to respond to you so fast you wondered if he’d always kept your messages up on his screen.
The seriousness hits home when more of your texts go unanswered as the days go by.
You huffed.
Two weeks had passed since you first reached out and apparently Choso was still giving you the cold shoulder. Unconsciously chewing on your manicured french tips, your intrusive thoughts paint the absolute worst scenarios.
This was around the time of day he’d usually be on campus and you’d meet up in the empty garage.
Would he be there now doing another deal?
Or giving ‘discounts’ to another girl?
You shook your head. Choso wasn’t like that.
You knew he wasn’t.
Then again he had stuffed your guts in less than 10 minutes of knowing each other.
But you were the exception right? Choso wouldn’t move on just like that, would he?
Rejection wasn’t something you had dealt with often in your life or well, ever.
You’d gotten everything you wanted since you were little whether it was something you worked for or something given to you.
So what if you didn’t have Choso?
You should be content with life.
You had everything you’d ever wanted right now.
You were pretty, got damn near perfect grades and now had the title of sorority president for fuckssake!
Meeting someone like Choso was never part of your plans and didn’t fit into them either, so you had never really considered what the both of you were to be anything long-term.
Nor did you ever stop to consider what he thought of your relationship.
You thought he’d lick his wounds for a few days and forgive you. However with each passing day the thought he might really be done with you sinks in more and more.
Regardless of the legion of frat guys who would jump at the chance to date you, the only guy you really wanted right now apparently wanted fuck all to do with you.
Ok so maybe you deserve the silent treatment.
A lot.
You never been that big of a bitch to him before. But you really had panicked when he showed up out of the blue with your parents on the way! Also if he didn’t go and threaten the DJ like he did???
You sighed.
No, even under more peaceful circumstances the end result was you weren’t going to leave to go to Yuji’s game. You couldn’t blame him for being furious with you as you knew how protective he was of his younger brother but you at least wish he’d hear you out.
Just for one last time and maybe you could make it up to Yuji too?
Get him a nice gift for missing his little league game and bake him chocolate chip cookies—without the nuts. You wanted to hear him adorably ramble on which would always be accompanied by animated hand movements while he gave you the rundown. Yuji often roped in Choso as well, who would be all too happy to play whatever role or prop Yuji needed him for.
Their identical grins, goofy and filled with joy never failed to put a smile on your face. A smile which came easy as there was never any demands put on you when you were with them. No pretending for the sake of appearances, no worrying about social standing and no expectations for favors.
With them you were just you and they had accepted you.
But had you accepted them?
Shit.
Yeah you had fucked up big.
You knew you needed to talk to Choso and if you weren’t all but certain Choso would slam the door in your face, you’d have half a mind to go pop up at his house.
Although maybe if Yuji ans—
“—Like HELLO!? Earth to Prez!”
Your train of thought abruptly comes to an end when one of your sorority sisters—Brianna—rudely snaps their fingers in your face.
Bitch.
She’d been bitter ever since she’d lost the presidency to you.
Elections were over so you didn't have to worry about staying on everyone's good side like you had been doing for the last 3 years of being super sweet and non confrontational. Even so, snatching up a fellow sister certainly wouldn’t make a good impression for a newly appointed president.
“What IS it Brie!?”
Turning to face her you had no choice but to keep your cool.
“Don’t give me attitude! You’re the one not paying attention, space case.”
Brianna huffed accusingly.
“Yeah, Brie’s kinda right Prez, you’ve been a little bit distracted lately.”
Another one of your sisters chimed in—immediately looking down when your eyes narrowed on her.
“Don't tell me the pressure is already getting to ‘Little Miss Legacy'? Or—”
Brianna flips her hair with a sly smile before continuing.
“—is it just that you miss your burnout stalker boy?”
“E-Excuse me!?”
Extremely disarmed by the allegation, you were not expecting in a million years the very person you were thinking of to be brought up like this by Brianna of all people.
“You know—you’ve been acting off since the brunch a few weeks ago and we used to be practically swimming in za—way more o’s than we paid for. You must have been doing something to get all that from that future convict and he must be pretty pissed with you if you haven’t been able to get anymore since.”
The rest of your sisters were gagged at the accusations Brianna was tossing your way as it was true that your supply had been dwindling. Their eyes darted between the two of you but mostly focused on you waiting for your response.
You ignore them though as all your ire was on Brianna.
This whore had some fucking nerve speaking about Choso like that.
The thought of knocking the smug look off Brianna’s face is almost too tempting —presidency be damned.
Yet your own guilt stops you.
Too little, much too late for you to be standing up for Choso now the way you had dismissed him so harshly in front of Brianna and the rest of your sisters just a few weeks ago. You could only be mad at yourself, your own actions showed them how to treat Choso.
That didn’t mean you were going to let her get away with it without a proper lashing though.
“Listen—Brie, Little Miss Legacy is busy juggling the presidency, a 3.8 gpa, volunteer work and planning every goddamn sorority event worth attending. As for you? Well I heard you’d been pretty busy these days juggling your creepy ass T.A. Noaya’s balls because you were going to fail Biology again for the third time—so do you really want to talk about pressure or whose fucking whom for what?”
Standing up for yourself wasn’t something you ever did in an effort to be likable and so Briana, as well as the rest of your sisters, were stunned into silence.
Even if her fucking for grades had been no secret, it wasn’t something anyone talked about out loud and yet you’d gladly air her out again for insulting Choso.
“Urgh, whatever! Anyways while you were daydreaming we were planning Jeremy's birthday party on Saturday.”
You rolled your eyes at the inattention to some random frat guy’s bday being the reason for this whole confrontation.
“Oookay and—?”
“—and we need you to get some more za from your stalk— er um, I mean your plug...”
Brianna quickly corrects herself seeing your eyes flare.
“Jermey wants a joint filled pinata and we don’t have nearly enough right now to roll all those joints.”
You suck your teeth in annoyance.
Of course it all had to come back around to Choso.
“I’m not talking to him right now. We’ll find someone else.”
Well it was half true, more like he wasn’t talking to you.
You tried not to pout and completely give yourself away at how much it really was affecting you.
“Well start again, Prez! You know his stuff is the best!”
“We already promised everyone we’d have it!”
“Please Prez!”
The rest of your sorority sisters chimed in.
“Yeah Prez it shouldn’t be a problem. Send him an ass pic or something, I bet he would respond to that.”
The rest of your sisters giggled in agreement.
Little did they know you had already sent Choso nudes 8 days ago, which when you checked Snap last just 10 minutes ago he still hadn’t opened yet.
You’d die before admitting that though.
“Fine. I’ll figure it out.”
“Knew you would Prez!”
Brianna tossed you a fake smile as she turned around and your sisters followed suit walking back towards the sorority house. The chatter now moves on to drink options as the previous conversation is instantly forgotten.
You still flip the bitch off behind her back though before you catch up to join the conversation lest these dumb bitches skimp out on drinks for more decorations and have you all drinking Monarch vodka again—gross, much more so than a mukbang video.
Plug!Choso who later that night has you laying on your bed staring at your phone suspended over you, your finger hovering over the send button.
What if he ignored you this time too?
Worse—what if he had finally blocked you?
Well all your messages had gone through so far even though his read receipts were off.
Choso hadn’t blocked you yet.
Only two days had passed since you last texted him but scrolling through your history the wall of blue taking over the entire screen had you feeling vexed.
Hadn’t Choso punished you enough?
Biting your lip in apprehension you hit send.
You almost dropped your phone on your face. Sitting up in your bed you stare at his text incredulously as the sticker shock of Choso jacking up the price by $150 hits you.
You deserved that, you supposed.
But fuck you knew you’d have to come up out of pocket yourself for the extra and you couldn’t admit to your sisters why the price had gone up so much again.
At least he was answering you though.
You threw your phone across your bed.
Well that went super.
You’d hope you’d have the chance to talk about things while he was responding to you, maybe get him to video call you? You knew he still wouldn’t be thrilled with you but you didn’t expect his responses to be that short once he finally answered.
Choso always over texted you if anything, sending paragraphs at times so these clipped messages were like tiny daggers pricking you with each one you received.
You didn’t think you could handle him being mean to you like this for much longer.
Getting a taste of your own medicine fucking sucked.
With a sigh you had decided to push it to the back of your mind. It was Tuesday and he wasn’t even coming until Friday.
That’s when you realized Choso implied he was coming to you.
As in your sorority house.
On Friday.
The night of the Barbie’s Dreamhouse Kegger.
Goddamnit.
Plug!Choso who shows up to your sorority house on Friday night just before midnight when the kegger is at its peak. Choso doesn’t give a single fuck this time around that he sticks out like a sore thumb with his dark tattered jeans, matching leather jacket, heavy eyeliner and metal piercings amongst all the colorful and peppy pastel attired party-goers.
Choso waltzes right through the front door like he owns the place.
“Oh! It's you! Finally!”
Flipping her hair behind her to show off her ample cleavage, your sorority sister Brianna bounces over to Choso who continues to look past her as his eyes scan the foyer.
To be honest he wasn’t even sure she was talking to him until she mentioned you.
“You’re the plug, right? Choso? Here for Prez, hmm?”
Brianna appraised Choso with a flirty glance and a smile.
“I’m Brianna, but everyone calls me Brie. She’s outside with her boys! I’ll take you there, kay?”
Her boys?
Brianna batts her eyes sweetly to complement her peppy demeanor.
Choso simply nods, appearing unphased as Brianna grabs him by the arm of his jacket to lead him through the sea of people crowding the hall and out to the backyard. The very same backyard where you had rejected and humiliated him to save your own superficial social standing just a few weeks ago.
Of course he hadn’t forgotten.
Choso noted this time though the expansive yard had a completely different vibe from the pretentious scene he’d walked into before. The backyard was now filled with pink inflatable decorations and rose gold plastered party supplies, trading the expensive crystal for matching pink solo cups and decorative flower displays for shotskis.
Yet Choso’s comparisons end once he finally spots you in the crowd.
Playing beer pong with some frat fucks, carefree like you had zero concerns (or thoughts of him) in the world as you taunted your opponents.
Choso’s eyes narrow when you—clad in a scandalously small pink sparkly tube top—brought a dainty manicured nail to your chest and seductively dragged it down your cleavage to tug at the hem of the fabric. The tops of your tits swell over the edge of the material provocatively as you tease the chance they might altogether spill out onto the table if you pulled any lower.
The plan worked and your opponents thoroughly distracted missed their shots much to your amused squeals and Choso’s growing irritation. His brow twitched as he noticed the rest of your outfit which barely provided any more coverage.
The matching mini skirt you wore rested low enough on your curvy hips to show the very edges of your thong but high enough on your thighs that your cheeks were nearly peeking out just from the slight bend you took as you aimed to take your next shot. Your pink jeweled belly ring (that he’d bought you) and gem adorned nude fishnets lead down to chunky hot pink glitter pumps only calling more attention to your lower half as they were illuminated by the outdoor tiki lights.
Why were you dressed like such a slut and letting those greasy shitheads drool all over you?
Your beer pong partner was clearly exaggerating his drunkenness for an excuse to feel you up as his hand rested dangerously close to the top of your ass as you took your next shot.
Were you that clueless?
Choso’s jaw clenches as you allow yourself to be pulled in by the shoulder tits first into a celebratory hug after landing a cup off a bounce, thus removing two. The way you’d casually let those assholes gawk and grab at you when you wouldn’t even make eye contact with him in public pisses him off like none other and reminds him why he had decided to cut you off after all.
This time though Choso doesn’t march over, masking his resentment with nonchalance as he considers leaving altogether.
Sure he needed the money—but it wouldn’t make or break him in the long run.
Keeping the big picture in mind, Choso had Yuji to think of and he couldn’t afford to catch a case over your slutty ass if he actually gave into the urge to knock some random frat fucker’s teeth out.
Yet Choso switches his attention back to Brianna when she returns with a beer filled cup for him and her sheer top unbuttoned even lower.
Oh?
Choso grins.
Plug!Choso who you finally notice standing near the back door of your sorority house next to—Brianna?!…urgh!
Her obnoxious high-pitched laughter loudly cut through the music and party chatter to draw your attention over.
What the hell was Choso even doing with her?!
You grit your teeth as Choso takes the drink. You watch as he reclines against the house and cheers cups together. Brianna is twirling her hair innocently as she flirts with him, giggling like an idiot.
One without an ounce of shame at that.
You seethe as she clutches onto his bicep pulling herself closer and resting her tits on his arm when she pretends to momentarily lose her balance.
Stupid cunt ass bitch.
You know it's just to spite you too.
Of course Brianna still didn’t know of the true nature of your relationship with Choso for certain but a backstabbing whore like her would try to fuck him solely off an inkling.
If anything just so she could say your ‘stalker’ was now hers.
She was just using him! Did Choso not see that?!
Your beer pong partner slides his arm around you to tell you it’s your turn again but you don’t even spare him a backwards glance as you shrug him off. Abandoning the game and ignoring his puzzled calls after you.
Truthfully it doesn’t even register as you are on your warpath with Choso and Brianna in your sights, stomping directly towards them like you were on a mission. You were too, as far as you were concerned, determined to break that shit up expeditiously.
Especially now as you see Brianna airdropping her contact info to Choso.
Stopping directly in front of them you’re far too tipsy to prevent your souring mood from spreading all over your face when they both seem to not notice you right away.
You loudly clear your throat.
“AHEM!”
Staring at Choso expectantly your lip curls when it's Brianna who greets you first instead.
“Oh Prez, my B girly! We didn’t notice you there!”
“Whatever, Brie.”
You sneer at her.
Although Brianna only giggles again, feigning innocence and leaning into Choso a bit more.
The whore was still touching up on him.
“I was just keeping Cho here company until we found you.”
Bullshit, they were searching fo– Hol’ the fuck up—CHO?!
Did this whore just call him Cho?!
That was your fucking nickname for him! Only you and Yuji were allowed to call him that!
Oh Brianna was just begging for that ass whooping, dying for it even.
Swaying on your feet, your buzz only intensifies your anger and folding your arms in front of you serves two purposes at the moment:
To keep your balance as you try to prevent your heels from sinking into the grass— but more importantly— because the urge to yank a bitch was escalating to the point your hands were now twitching.
You had drank way too much in your nervousness waiting for Choso.
You thought a quick round of beer pong would settle your anxieties as you’d been hanging out near the front door all day and night not knowing when he’d show up. However time had slipped away from you and one game had turned into three.
You didn’t even really know the guys you were playing with, just some random freshman!
Of course once you finally let your guard down Choso would not only show up but be hanging out with your biggest opp!
But what really had you about to crack—Choso was taking his sweet time in acknowledging you as he appeared to be more concerned with checking Brianna’s contact info than speaking to you right in front of him. “Ight, got it.”
Choso confirmed and slid his phone back into his jacket before pulling out a joint as he finally made eye contact with you.
THE FUCK!? HE ACTUALLY SAVED IT?!
Plug!Choso who stares at you with a condescending smirk as his eyes twinkled with sadistic amusement before exhaling smoke towards the sky.
You bite your cheek to hold back your angry tears, you weren’t about to give Brianna the satisfaction. She could fuck right the hell off as far as you were concerned, only wanting to speak to Choso who was currently looking at you like you were the one interrupting something.
“W-Why didn't you text me you were here?! I would have come outside!”
Your words fumble out of you drunkenly, not sounding one bit as smooth and unbothered as you hoped.
“For why tho? Don’t you have me silenced anyway, Prez?”
You stiffened.
Even if he wasn’t silenced right now you couldn’t deny you had previously silenced him before the last few weeks of trying to get him to talk to you.
“Yea figured—so thought it’d be best to come inside…”
Choso exhales smoke through his nose this time, leering down at you as he passes the joint to Brianna who eagerly takes it.
“You really think I’m still tryna wait for you?”
Choso’s words are crushing as the double meaning behind them is not lost on you. Parting your glossed lips you couldn’t even form a sentence as your mouth had gone completely dry.
Brows raised Choso is practically daring you to challenge him.
But you’re frozen.
Ironic, because his eyes are all but intensely burning into yours as his accusingly cruel question penetrated you like a hot knife to butter.
However, bringing you back, Brianna interrupts the moment—because of course she does—not being able to read the damn room nor handle the attention being away from her for 5 fucking seconds.
“You know Prez… You’re going to be pretty busy with all your responsibilities soon...”
Brianna taps her stiletto shaped nail to her lips in faux contemplation. Her smarmy expression gives away her true intentions resembling every bit of the evil bitch she is.
“...Annnnnd it won’t look good for our lovely new president to put herself at risk by getting us drugs, right? Sooooo, I was telling Cho here how I’m going to be the one taking over for you now.”
Brianna coyly tucks a few loose strands of her long tawny locks behind her ear.
“Who knows? I might be able to get a better discount than you too.”
Passing the blunt back to Choso she winks at him. Choso merely chuckles, shaking his head at the implications before taking another hit.
And yeah that’s what fucking did it alright.
More than ready to give Brianna exactly what the fuck she’d been asking for you wordlessly lunge forward to snatch her up by those raggedy ass microlink extensions she couldn’t stop touching.
However your trajectory is thrown when you feel Choso grab you by your wrist. Pulling you in towards him, the action confused both you and Brianna—who didn’t know how close she was to actually kissing dirt.
Choso passes the joint back to Brianna, telling her to keep it as a ‘sample’ he turns his attention back towards you.
“Come on Prez, I got places to be. Get me my money now before I charge your ass the full stack.”
You both leave Brianna standing there dumbfounded as Choso drags you back into the house.
Plug!Choso guides you through the crowd of your sisters that are all now much too drunk and self-involved in their own good time to care about the pierced n’ scary dark haired man towing their president behind him.
Reaching the staircase Choso motions for you to go ahead of him and you nod dumbly as you obediently climb the stairs trying not to trip.
Urging you along, Choso is right on your tail— quite literally, as he tries to simultaneously avoid staring at your ass cheeks jiggling out from under your skirt—but more importantly tries to keep any other wandering eyes below from getting a peek as well.
Choso places a hand on your waist, both to keep you from falling and to move you along quicker. Warm tingles radiate out from where his hands touch your bare skin yet he instantly releases you once you reach the top.
You can’t help but to pout at the loss of contact.
“Which one?”
Choso still feels all business though as he walks ahead of you like he can’t wait to wrap this up and get you the fuck out of his life again.
Plug!Choso who you usher into your room before closing the door. The party seems distant as only the faint sounds of the base bumping against the walls reach the sanctuary of your room. Still holding the knob you’re leaning with your back against the doorframe as your body is still pumping insane amounts of adrenaline through you.
Nearly fighting Brianna, Choso finally touching you, on top of being drunk had your mind going into overdrive especially since it seemed like Choso would leave as soon as the deal was over.
Would he really take the money and go just like that?
Choso’s face is unreadable as he strolls deeper into your room and casually looks around. You had always come over to his place and he would have never in a million years dreamed of being able to see your room in your actual sorority house.
It was so you though.
Tidy and adorned in your favorite colors, your walls are decorated with pictures of celebrities, friends and various moodboards. Not to mention it smelled like you. The scent of your sugary perfume with notes of vanilla and saffron assaulted Choso's senses making it seem a bit warmer in the room than it actually was.
“Yo Prez, the money.”
His patience for the situation is dwindling. He has to get out and fast.
Choso doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t leave soon.
Yet you were plotting the exact opposite and you couldn’t let him leave so easily now that you finally had him alone after all this time.
Armed with a plan you nod as you scoot by him and over to your vanity to retrieve the cash. Acting clueless as to which drawer you put it in, you search them all as you bend over to check one of the drawers at the very bottom.
Choso swallows hard.
Your ass–with plenty of curves to spare–is on display for him as well as your sheer pink thong that teasingly pokes out between your crystal studded fishnets.
You had to be doing this on purpose.
Swishing side to side your skirt raises up a bit higher with every shift of your hips while your thong strains tighter across the print of your fat pussy lips threatening to snap altogether.
Akin to a seductive pendulum as you sway before Choso completely entrancing him.
Only you could ever affect him in this way.
After what feels like years do you finally locate the money, a sizable stack of cash composed of 20 dollar bills.
“Found it! In the top drawer all along, imagine that!”
Smirking you plop down in your vanity chair crossing your legs not missing how Choso’s gaze lingered, even if just the tiniest moment, on your thighs.
“Took ya long enough…”
Choso mumbles. There's no real bite to his words this time though. He’s holding his backpack close to hide his half chub while he removes 3 hefty bags of kush from his backpack to toss on the desk beside you.
Reaching for the cash his annoyance is evident on his face when you jerk away from him. Leaning back and fanning the bills across your chest, you wave them tauntingly in the air.
“Stop playin’ around. Not in the fuckin mood, I swear.”
“Playing?”
You question acting coy.
“This is just business right Choso?”
You sat up as if you were taking this seriously at all and Choso is unamused as he reaches for the money again.
And you snatch it back yet again like a fucking brat.
“I’m practically dropping a stack on this–thanks to your new “tax” and all. How do I know if it's any good?”
Clearly your plan is working as you continue to push Choso’s buttons pretending you aren’t excited from him towering over you now.
“Cut the games, Prez. Ya know my shit is always pressure.”
You act contemplative as your eyes lazily travel up his tense muscular form appreciating the view after not seeing him for so long.
“Hmmm, do I though?”
Choso scoffs, growing tired of your games.
That’s all he ever was to you, a game.
“Like I said, just business. Or are you telling me you weren’t going to count the cash to make sure it's all there before you left?”
Damn. Well you got 'em there.
Choso rubs the back of his neck before letting out a frustrated sigh.
“Tch—let’s make this quick then, Prez.”
Plug!Choso who after grabbing one of the bags of weed off your vanity takes a seat on your bed. He shrugs off his jacket to retrieve a pipe from the inner pocket and impatiently extends his hand hurrying you with a quick beckoning gesture.
“Gimme your grinder.”
Rolling your eyes you haphazardly toss it over to him. However, unbeknownst to you, the top was loose and crumbles of kush spilled out of it and onto your bed when he failed to catch it.
“Nice looking out Cho, great catch.”
Even though the poor throw and loose top had been your fault, the fact he apparently couldn’t wait to fucking leave along with you still pissed with how he flirted with Brianna makes you lash out.
“You fucking serious right now? I’m always lookin’ out for your ungrateful ass.”
Obnoxiously you huff, crossing your arms and turning your head away from him.
Ungrateful? For what!?
He hadn’t been ‘looking out’ for the last month, he’d been completely ignoring you!
“Heh, like I didn't just stop you from turning that gouda chick into actual cheese from the way you went at her?”
You press your lips together firmly to keep from cracking a smile at his play on Brianna’s nickname. You’re honestly still salty he had even been around her at all getting so chummy. He’d always talked about how stupid your sorority sisters were, it didn’t make sense why he let her flirt with him like that.
You’re also mad he didn’t at least let you pop her one good time.
“The bitches name is Brie. You should know, you were ‘oh so concerned’ about saving her number and giving her a discount.”
Choso looks at you like you’re an idiot as he shakes his head. He stops packing the bowl to throw you his phone.
“Whose number?”
Frowning, you already know the passcode so you unlock it right away.
Sure enough there was no Brie nor Brianna in his contact lists. Not even her number showed up when you searched his phone for it in case it was under a completely different alias.
He’d never even saved it.
The smug smirk on Choso’s face tells you he knew what she was doing all along and got you all riled up on purpose.
In fact, Choso had recognized Brianna’s ploy immediately. You had previously mentioned something about an annoying n’ bitchy rival.
Besides, there was no other plausible reason for a dumb sorority bitch like her to be talking to him at all—much less throwing herself at him so aggressively.
“Doesn’t feel good now does it, Prez?”
Your face is on fire and you turn away from Choso totally humiliated. You had played right into his hands.
“Hmph! Don’t get cocky, I wanted a reason to beat her ass anyway.”
You puff your cheeks into a pout that Choso can’t help but to chuckle at, shaking his head at you again.
You were a huge brat that's for damn sure.
“Well, it certainly looks like you found one.”
You’re quiet finally as you rake over his words in your mind.
‘I’ve always been looking out for you.’
Not only did he not save Brianna’s number there’s a high probability he just kept you from being kicked out of the entire sorority and maybe school too. Fighting was a huge no-no and you could have gotten expelled. Apparently jealous with rage you were ready to risk it all at that moment without even thinking of the consequences.
Fuck.
Choso had in fact still been looking out for you—even when you didn’t deserve it.
Plug!Choso who accepts your silence is a sign of your defeat and after a few minutes you move from your desk to sit next to him on your bed as he finishes grinding and packing the bowl.
“Brats get greens this time.”
I’m paying a premium for all this shit, I better get greens.
But you hold in that thought, not wanting to give him any more lip in the moment as you’re the one left licking your wounds this time.
Like a gentleman Choso holds the bowl for you and lights it as you take a hit. He tries not to notice how well your glossed lips are wrapping around the phallic mouthpiece as searingly thick smoke flows into your lungs.
Damn, this shit was dank as hell.
You’re doing your best to hold it in but your lungs are burning as you watch Choso take a hit himself. Not being able to keep in your coughs for a second more you’re left signaling at Choso to ‘wait a sec’ when he holds the pipe out back to you.
Fuck, it was even stronger than what you remembered.
“See Prez? True pressure.”
You shrug at him trying to save face although your eyes are watering, already tinting a bright shade of red.
“Uhh duh, I always cough Choso. I’ll still need a few more hits to know for certain.”
Choso rolls his eyes.
You take another hit—a smaller one this time—before slowly falling back onto your bed.
Your eyes close as your high settles in and you debate on what to say next without fucking things up even more with your slick ass mouth.
However your concentration is diminishing quickly as your buzz makes your senses overly aware of Choso’s intense body heat radiating off him, your thighs practically touching.
The weed swirling together with the alcohol in your system makes you all the more sensitive. Your mind floats away as your gaze is hyper focused on how the lean muscles of Choso’s toned back and broad shoulders ripple under the thin black tee he wears.
God, Choso is so sexy.
Your legs squeeze together to calm the burning in your core just from the thought. You want nothing more than to drag him down to bed with you and melt into his embrace—but there's an invisible force field around him that you can’t reach.
You’re almost certain he would recoil from you if you tried now.
There’s a conversation you needed to have first but you didn’t know how to start it without fucking things up even more.
The result is an awkward silence that uncomfortably settles in the room as Choso finishes the bowl off himself.
Never one to smoke too much of his own product he’s only indulging now to temper his mood.
Choso doesn’t know why he’s still here, all good sense in him telling him to take the money and get the hell out. Yet he knows he’s hoping for something–anything–to show him you’ve changed even though all signs so far tonight have been showing him you haven’t.
You’re still cowering away from any accountability and he is determined not to give you an easy out this time.
And it’s for that exact reason Choso can’t look over at you right now.
Otherwise he’s sure to see your tiny pink top that had started to roll up exposing the glitter adorned skin of your underboob. Or how your slow exhales cause your soft stomach to dip temptingly showing off the pink crystal belly button ring he gave you.
The sight of your fishnets brushing against one another out of the corner of his eye alone is enough to know he wouldn’t be able resist grasping onto your supple thighs. God how he would relish the way his fingers would indent into them. He wanted to rip those slutty fishnets right off of you so his head could push your skirt up even further on your hips while he drowned himself in your wet cunt—not even stopping when you would cry from overstimulation.
Plug!Choso, who is thankful his distraction at long last comes in the form of the faded gray blue fabric by your pillow.
“Yo!..is that my shit?”
Eyes opening wide, you pale upon seeing Choso reach for the crumpled up shirt. Choso unravels the tee to confirm it is in fact his shirt—one of his favorite band tees at that.
“Oh, is that yours?”
Choso deadpans.
“So you listen to RHCP now?”
“Maybe…”
You grab it from him and toss it to the side less you break down and confess to him you had slept in it most nights. Not only have you slept in it but you do in fact listen to RHCP now, especially when you workout.
However with this Choso has hit his limit.
To him you hadn’t changed.
Could you not even own up to the tiniest of things?
He couldn’t let himself get sucked back into your toxic web, not anymore. The longer he stayed the more likely that was.
“S’all good, Prez. Keep it.”
Choso grabs his jacket.
“Listen, I gotta g–”
“—w-wait!”
You grab the other end of his jacket. You still find it difficult to find the right words but you had to say something.
It was now or never.
“W-Wait… ah, at least before you go…l-let me know how Yuji’s game went?”
You meekly ease into the question but see Choso go ridgid at the mention regardless.
For now he relents and stays seated. Although a few minutes pass before he speaks.
“He won, of course. MVP of the season.”
You smile genuinely at that but Choso isn’t looking at you— too pained by the memories that began to bubble up again like bile in his throat.
“Awe, that's so great! I knew he would! I’m so happy for him.”
Choso grits his teeth as he turns back to you, his anger evident in his entire being as every muscle in him flexes.
“Are you? So that’s how you treat someone you’re happy for? Really?!”
He doesn’t give you the chance to respond.
“Yuji’s a strong kid— much stronger than me. Honestly, I didn’t even think he minded you weren’t there as he was all focus and excitement to play that day—”
You let out a quiet exhale in relief though any consolation you felt was instantly shattered as Choso continued.
“But when I put him to bed that night. H-He..He’d asked why you weren’t there…He asked if you were gone now like our parents. Yuji wouldn’t believe you’d miss it otherwise.”
Choso struggles to say the last bit and maintain eye contact with you.
Every moment you gaze into his eyes though was pure torture as you’re racked with even more guilt.
“Choso I–”
“I’m so fuckin’ tired of all your fuckin’ excuses!”
You’re silent. It’s so strange to see him this upset you don’t know what to say.
“I’d ask you if you’d even considered the abandonment issues that kid already carries but you don’t. You don’t fill that fuckin’ superficial lil’ head of yours with anything beyond yourself!”
Finishing what he had to say, Choso gathers up his jacket and backpack, stuffing it full with the stack of cash on the vanity—not even bothering to count it.
Momentarily dumbfounded, you're scrambling from the bed to block his path.
“C-Come on, Choso! I didn’t want to abandon him or you! I tried to call you and I texted you so much these past few weeks to talk!”
Choso isn’t impressed.
“And not one text actually had the words ‘I’m sorry’ in it. Not that it would have cut it this time.”
You're reduced to silence for the umpteenth time tonight.
You wreck your brain knowing most of your texts had been focused on baiting him to respond to you but fuck—did you really not even apologize?
“But I am sorry!”
Choso’s gaze is cold and distant, so foreign in comparison to the warmth you’d taken for granted before.
“Whatever you say, Prez.”
There it is again. You’ve grown to resent the title, the job, everything about it.
“Just stop calling me that, okay?!”
You’re trying hard to fight back the tears that threateningly pool in the corners of your eyes.
“What...Prez? Why, it aint all that they cracked it up to be?”
“N-No… it’s n-not… I actually hate it and I hate being here.”
Your voice is hardly above a whisper as you direct your words towards the ground. You didn't want Choso to see your glassy eyes even if he’d noticed the cracks in your voice.
Plug!Choso who regards you with skepticism but curiosity nonetheless. So at long last you decided to be honest with both him and yourself aloud for the first time.
But it didn’t mean shit if you wouldn’t do something about it.
“Then quit.”
Choso says to you like it’s the most obvious answer in the world as your head snaps up incredulously.
“H-huh? W-What?!”
“You heard me princess— quit.”
Could you really just quit?
Truthfully, you had never considered it an option. The expectations put on you by your sorority sisters, your parents and the plans you had made for yourself had all led you to the commitments and responsibilities you had now.
How could you just let them all down by walking away from it all?
“Choso— I heard you..b-but I can’t, you don’t understand I–”
“—No, I understand better than you do, princess. You spent so much time with me and Yuji because you hate this sorority bullshit, you can’t stand any of these bitches and now you just agreed to be president of your own goddamn misery!”
Reading you for filth, Choso stares at you expectantly but you avoid his gaze.
Your nails suddenly becoming all the more interesting as you fumble with them.
“–Ight then.”
Choso doesn’t want to argue with you any longer.
You’re still full of excuses to his disappointment. If you wanted to be something you weren't that badly, then that was your own prerogative he decided as he brushed past you.
“N-No! P-Please, don’t leave Cho!”
There's clear desperation in your voice. You cling to him, burying your head into the middle of his back as your shaky hands weave their way around his midsection.
Choso is mid-twist on the doorknob.
He had all intentions of leaving if you still weren't being honest with yourself about things.
Still does.
Yet his determination is wavering from your hot tears begin to seep through his shirt and trickle down his spine. The warmth of your body—now flattened against his—causes your pert nipples to poke into his back while your delicate fingers wretchedly grasp onto his taunt abs like a lifeline.
Like you actually needed him in your life.
Fucking hell, you didn’t play fair at all.
But he couldn’t forgive you just to hurt him again and especially not Yuji.
“Let go.”
“No.”
“I said let go!”
“NO!”
Choso easily pries you off of him, spinning you around as your back slams against the door pinning you in place. His hands encircle your arms and extend out fully so he could put some distance between the two of you.
He couldn’t think straight when you were all over him.
Your world is a blur and in your crossfaded state you are left with vertigo at the sudden shift of positions. Both you and Choso are left panting at the intensity of it all.
“You don’t listen to anyone do you?! You just do whatever the fuck you want…”
Choso’s face is red with anger and your eyes—already reddened from your high—take on a deeper shade as you are now openly bawling in front of him.
“Tch, why are you the one crying? This is how you want things, right?!”
You shake your head, unable to communicate beyond your pitiful sobs.
Choso grows more and more frustrated as the guilt he is feeling battles with his more rational mind prompting him to still be angry with you despite your tears. Back and forth his mind races until it all bubbles over and—
“—You don’t think I know I’m not good enough for you!?”
Your teary eyes widen at the sudden admission.
Choso even startles himself with his own confession he’d been holding in all this time.
“But not Yuji...He’s already so much better than me! He’s gonna actually be something one day. He doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
Your lip quivers and your pleas are almost unintelligible.
“I-I know…m’s-sorry…m-m’so sorry C-Choso!”
Choso exhales deeply and shoulders slump forward as he releases you, running a hand over his face and back through his raven locks.
You couldn't read his expression but you didn't want him to attempt to leave you again as you close the gap between you, arms encircling him once more.
Choso doesn’t push you away, yet to his credit he doesn't return your embrace either as he’s still torn.
“I-I missed y-you so m-much.”
Cursing the hold you have over him Choso can’t deny he still wants to be with you—but you both were at an impasse.
Nothing good would come from repeating the same cycle again.
There is no resolution if you still want to keep up a front.
“P-Please forgive me Cho—I-I love you.”
The sweet proclamation is accentuated by your pillowy lips spreading kisses over his chest while the tips of your fingers slip up his shirt to place feather light scratches at the small of his back.
Love, eh?
An unexpected revelation dawns on Choso and he is now resolved in what he has to do.
“Yeah princess, you really love me?”
Oblivious to the danger edging in his voice, you nod as you continue to coo affectionate words and affirmations into his chest. One of your legs hitches around his as you mold yourself deeper into him thinking he’d finally forgiven you.
Had he forgiven you though?
Well, not exactly.
A devious smirk appears across Choso’s features.
Choso had come to the conclusion that at the end of the day you were simply a terrible people pleaser.
Your stuck up bratty nature was merely a front of false confidence.
You tried so hard to become whatever anyone else wanted you to be, you'd lie to yourself and become utterly miserable in your efforts to appease those around you.
However, Choso knew the version of you he’d gotten when you’d been with him and Yuji had been the real you.
And he actually did believe you loved him— even if you had just forced yourself to say it in the moment so you could manipulate him into staying.
Sympathetic to your pitiful nature, Choso wouldn’t just abandon you.
But if you couldn’t do what was best for you, he would make sure you would himself.
PART 3
⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
⋙ I'm about halfway through P3, its 5.5k already lol. stick with me though cause pt 3 is the nasty brat taming smut we all are waiting for! if i tagged you here i will tag you again for p3 but im still adding new people to tag list so lmk in comments or reblogs if you'd like to be added. trying to focus to finish this but my adhd might distract me into writing a quick gojo fic but if i do i will finish this right after!
⋙tags: (ps ty for all the sweet comments for those who joined my overall writing tag list yall legit had me in tears ilysm!) @nkogneatho @toji-girl-main @RoyaltyAndRoses @aydene @slowlyshycomputer @bontensbabygirl @yoonjinhusbands @anxious-chick @kashxyou @halosdiary @littlemochabunni @ryomens-vixen @buttercupblu @tonycries @lowkeyremi @strawberrygirl0 @crybaby-herbalist @rintcrous @bomboclakkk @anubisisthebomb @alwaysfreakingout @oeanonyme @chrys23 @spltbtch @uranometrias @officialsimpp @crispycatt @purple-obsidian my-jukebox @peachyharts111 @thedorklingqueen @sugurusprettygirl @scarasw1f3 @kgorethz @c1truswh4re @madaqueue
#♋︎kizzatcooks#♋︎kizzatcookedthat#choso x reader#choso smut#choso kamo#jjk x reader smut#jjk x reader#jjk college au#jjk x you#jjk smut#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen#choso x you#choso x black!reader#jjk choso#choso x y/n#choso x thicc reader#choso kamo smut#choso x black reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x black reader#kamo choso#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x you#jujutsu kaisen choso#plug!choso
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the seven stages of you and i (c.sb)
ʚ♡⃛ɞ when you first met soobin, you knew he was going to play a lead role in your life. you were going to make sure of it. you just didn't know what to expect. or: the story of a boy, a girl, and the turbulence that fills the space between them.
☆。.:*·゚wc 14444 angst + smut ౨ৎ minors DNI ˚⁺。˚ // repost ୨୧ soobin x fem!reader, best friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers to ???, first time. featuring beomgyu, taehyun, kai from txt, yuna from itzy, and arin from oh my girl [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]
playlist
you can vividly remember the first time you ever saw soobin.
it was the summer before third grade started.
it had been an unbearably hot summer and with the school year looming just a month away, you were dreading going back to school and trying so hard to not think about having to meet your new teacher and make new friends.
so to take you mind off the soul crushing pressures of elementary school, you begged your mom to let you go to the park. she refused, claiming she had to work, but the two of you made a compromise and you settled for riding your bike around the cul-de-sac where she could still see you from the dining room table.
you had been riding for thirty minutes, quickly growing tired of the rays of the sun beating down on your skin. you were about to call it a day, but that’s when you saw it.
the gray honda civic driving past you, the sun reflecting on the hood of the car. the woman in the front seat, slowly waking up from her slumber. her husband tapping her shoulder excitedly, looking at his new home in awe.
and him.
the young boy staring out the window with wide eyes as the car pulled into the driveway of the house beside yours.
you darted inside to tell your mom you had new neighbors.
at dinner time, she took you over with some food. “hello, we live right next door.” she introduced herself to the woman that opened the door. “i just thought you guys could use a warm meal with moving and everything.” behind her legs, you could see the little boy peeking at you.
she invited you in and you remember the way their house looked so devoid of life. what was supposed to be the living room was a sea of boxes. your mother sat beside his mother on the old brown leather couch that sat in the back of the room.
you caught soobin’s gaze, watching you taking in the sight of his new home. he looked away when he noticed you looking at him. you moved to sit beside him on the floor.
“i saw you,” he said when he registered your presence beside him.
“what?” you were slightly taken aback.
“outside.” he clarified. “you were on your bike.”
“oh,” you muttered. “my name is y/n.” you reached out to shake his hand. he looked at you, a bit puzzled, yet mirrored the gesture, his grip gentle and feeble.
“i’m soobin.”
“how old are you?”
“i’m almost 10.” he answered, glancing down at his hands.
“why did you move here?”
“my dad got a job.”
“do you want to ride bikes tomorrow?”
“i don’t know how.” soobin looked at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, his shy demeanor even more pronounced.
“i can teach you.” you offered.
and the next morning, at 11 sharp, soobin showed up in front of your house ready to learn. after that afternoon, you decided that you liked him and he was going to be your best friend. he didn’t talk much but he always listened to you, with a goofy smile plastered on his face. when he did talk, he answered all your questions thoughtfully. and most importantly, even after he fell down multiple times, he still showed up at your house the next day, waiting to learn.
by the time you got to middle school, everyone knew that you were two peas in a pod. from the day you met, everywhere you went, soobin wasn’t far behind, following you like a lost puppy. you always carpooled together; you always ate lunch together; you were even in all the same clubs.
and so when eighth grade began, you two were separated for the first time in five years and it was so hard for you to adjust to not seeing him every second of every day.
the first morning of the school year, you stopped yourself from asking your mom where soobin was when he wasn’t at your car waiting for you. you wandered through the halls to your regular lunch table a little surprised and mostly disappointed when you didn’t see him sitting with an extra cookie he always got from the lunch lady. after school, you sat awkwardly, alone, on the bench outside of the school building waiting for your mom to pick you up.
when you got home, you didn’t even bother going up to your room. you threw your backpack on the couch and made a beeline for his house. you flopped onto his bed with a sigh as soon as you got to his room, the softness of the mattress cradling you. he didn’t look up from where he sat at his desk doing his homework, but he acknowledged your arrival with a quiet hello.
“how was your first day of high school?” you asked, emphasizing the last part of your question.
“it was okay.” he scribbled something in his book.
“just okay?” you pressed.
“it was kind of weird.” he turned his chair around and finally looked up at you.
“did you miss me?”
“yeah, a little,” he confessed. a soft warmth bloomed in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.
“i think i might try out for the football team,” he blurted out of nowhere. “or maybe basketball? i don’t know yet.” you bursted out in laughter.
“did i say something funny?”
“you have no athletic bone in your body.” you countered, still chuckling.
“we don’t know that.”
“oh, we do,”
he moved to join you on the bed, books in hand, and you watched him with a fondness that didn’t need words as he made himself comfortable.
“i always tell you not to wear your outside clothes on my bed.” he jokingly admonished.
“do you like your school?”
“i mean, it’s only my first day. but it was okay.”
you paused, both to process what he just said and to figure out how to word what you really wanted to say. “i don’t want you to forget about me or stop hanging out with me or whatever.”
“you’re literally going to the same school next year.” he teased you.
“i know, but still.”
“you’re a hard person to forget about, y/n.”
“you’re just saying that,” you felt the blood rush up to your cheeks, and subsequently rushed to hide your face in his sheets.
“no, i mean, you literally wouldn’t let me forget about you.” he laughed and in response, you threw a pillow at him.
but in the back of your mind, you knew he was right – you couldn’t let him forget about you. and as the days rolled on, you made it a point to go over to his house for hours after school. at least for the first month and a half of the smeester. that was until the demands of school grew and he started having to stay after school for clubs and going over to people’s houses for projects. by the time the holidays rolled around, your moments together were reduced to the seconds you saw him in the mornings when you were both leaving for school. and for the most part, it stayed like that going into the summer.
the summer after eighth grade, you saw soobin a total of three times.
the first time you saw him was on memorial day. your dad, not exactly the biggest fan of your plan to stay home the entire summer, pushed you out of the house to go to his family’s barbecue. you went to soobin’s house with a tray of cookies (because you never go to someone’s house empty handed, your mom told you beforehand). he greeted you with a casual wave before disappearing upstairs to play video games with his friends. you lingered around his house for ten minutes, until you felt completely uncomfortable by yourself, when you slipped away back to your room, cocooning yourself in your bed, tears tracing paths down your cheeks, soaking into your sheets beneath you.
the second time was sometime right after the fourth of july. his dad was taking him on a fishing trip and you just so happened to be getting the mail as they were leaving. you tried to pretend not to see him, eyes fixed on the ground, your heart pounding. and you thought it worked. but later that day, a message lit up your phone screen – soobin confessing that he missed you. you deliberated for two hours before typing out a guarded response: “me too.” two weeks stretched out like an eternity before his next message came.
the third time was actually the day before your first day of high school when he came over to your house under orders from his mother. he stood at your bedroom door, a mixture of apprehension and determination etched across his face.
when you opened the door, all the feelings of abandonment came flooding through your mind – every time you cried thinking about how he was ignoring you, every time your parents had to force you to get out of the house and breathe in fresh air, everything came at once.
“what are you doing here?” you spat at him. your words were a shield, sharp and defensive.
“my mom said i should come check on you.” he responded, his hand absently massaging the back of his neck. you yielded, allowing him to enter the room, but he hesitated, lingering by the door, too afraid to sit down.
“are you nervous about high school?” he ventured.
you met his gaze, scanning his eyes for sincerity. “not really.”
“i’m sorry,” he admitted, his voice heavy with regret. “i’ve been pretty shitty to you this year.”
“yeah, you have been pretty shitty.”
“i meant it when i said i missed you.”
“i know.”
“are we good?”
he didn’t really apologize, you understood that. but sometimes, especially in that moment, it seems easier to forgive him than confront him about how horrible he made you feel. and so you concede, not realizing that you’re setting the precedent for you guys to saunter in and out of each other's lives as you please. “yeah, we are.”
you invite him to sit on the bed with you and he joins you.
“so, what is high school really like?” you ask, trying to clear the air of tension that lingered.
“well, it’s nothing like high school musical,” he began.
and although you were apprehensive about forgiving him so quickly, you couldn’t deny how good this felt. sitting here with him, not thinking about the future or the past. just being here talking about nothing and everything at the same time. if you could, you would have captured this moment and put it in a snow globe to look at everyday.
the next morning, you stood at the threshold of the school building, soobin towering beside you. as you walked into the school together, you couldn’t help but notice the subtle shift in the atmosphere. soobin seemed to be a lot more popular than he led on and he navigated the halls with a confidence that belied his usually reserved nature. students and teachers alike greeted him as you walked through the halls.
“okay, mr. superstar,” you teased.
“well, i am class president.” he tells you shyly.
“why didn’t i know this?” you wondered aloud. he offered you a nonchalant shrug but continued guiding you through the labyrinth of corridors that made up the school.
as you approached your classroom, the reality of where you were dawned on you. you turned to soobin, seeking reassurance from him. “i’ll see you at lunch?”
“yeah,” he affirmed.
with a final smile, you slipped into the classroom, taking a seat beside a girl who was looking at you with wide eyes.
“you know soobin?” she blurted out when you sat down.
your brows furrowed in confusion. “yeah?” you answered, taken aback.
“how?”
“uh, he’s my friend.” you explained, scanning the room for an empty seat.
a spark of hope lit up her eyes. “can you introduce me to him?”
you hesitated, your discomfort growing with each passing second. “i don’t even know you.”
a wave of awkwardness washed over the both of you. without waiting for a response, you quickly gathered your things, seeking refuge in a different seat on the other side of the classroom. what the hell was that? you thought to yourself as the other students filed into the class.
save for that strange moment in the first period, the rest of your classes went by completely unremarkable until lunch time rolled around. you arrived at the cafeteria fifteen minutes after lunch started. you were trying to navigate the way between hundreds of bodies in the hallway and found yourself in a completely different wing of the school. why does a high school have to be this big? you asked yourself when you collided with a girl.
“are you okay?” you asked her.
“yeah, i’m just trying to find the cafeteria.” her response came with a note of relief.
“me too. i’m y/n.”
“i’m yuna and this school is way too big.” she remarked, a trace of exasperation lacing her words.
“yeah, i got a tour this morning and i’m still confused.”
should we ask someone for help?” yuna suggested.
“yeah,” together you venture into a nearby classroom to ask a teacher for help.
meanwhile, in the cafeteria, soobin took advantage of your little detour to offer a preemptive warning to his friends about how to act around the freshman girl that was going to be eating lunch with them.
“i’m serious, you guys, don’t be weird.”
“when have we ever been weird?” beomgyu asked, but his playful tone is punctuated by a stray fry launched by kai, which found its target on taehyun’s head.
soobin gave beomgyu a knowing look.
“we won’t be weird, okay?” his friend reassured him. “what’s with the girl anyways?”
“she’s my best friend and i don’t want you guys to scare her.”
you finally make it to the cafeteria with yuna by your side. soobin introduced you to his friends, and you briefly remember them from memorial day. as the lunch period dragged on, you sat quietly, observing soobin in his element. you never felt this way before, but watching the way he interacted with his friends made him a little more attractive in your eyes. there was a magnetism in his confidence and you couldn’t help but entertain thoughts that had never crossed your mind before.
and from them, you found yourself yearning for those stolen glances, fingers brushing in passing and shared laughter that lingered just a little longer than usual.
being best friends with someone older than you had its perks, especially when that person was as smart as soobin. you were pretty good at biology freshman year, and chemistry was okay too. but no one warned you that knowing the powerhouse of the cell or all the symbols of the periodic table was enough to equip you for an honors physics class.
even though you stayed up for three nights in a row, you didn’t expect to do so bad on the unit test. it was embarrassingly bad. like bringing the class average down bad. like being handed back a folded test bad. you opened your test packet hesitantly, only to quickly close it again upon seeing the harsh, red “36/100” glaring back at you. the room seemed to close in around you, the disappointment heavy in the air.
after class, you went to meet your teacher. “are you sure there’s no way i could get some extra credit or something?” you asked, your voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.
“y/n,” he said, his tone firm. “if i give you extra credit, i have to give everyone extra credit,” he advised. “if you want a better grade, i suggest you study harder.”
“fucking asshole,” you mutter under your breath as you left the classroom. the slam of the door echoed down the empty hallway.
yuna, who was waiting for you outside your class, scowled when she saw your demeanor. “what’s wrong?”
“he’s such an asshole.”
“what did he do this time?”
you handed her your test and slung your backpack onto your shoulder in frustration. her face scrunched up when she saw the red ink that scattered the page. she reached out to gently caress your hair in a soothing gesture. “oh, honey…”
“and he wouldn’t let me do extra credit.”
“didn’t your boyfriend take this class last year?” yuna asked, trying to find a solution.
“boyfriend?” you replied. you knew where she was going with this, but you wanted to see if she would actually say it. but you knew she was never one to back down. “soobin?” she asks.
“not my boyfriend.” you remind her in a singsong voice, causing her to roll her eyes.
“well, i’m pretty sure he took this class last year. just ask him to tutor you.”
you hum, pulling out your phone to text him.
to soob: i hate to ask you this but i really need your help
from soob: you know i’m always gonna help you what do you need
to soob: one quiz away from failing physics can my bestest friend in the whole entire world help me
from soob: you know you don’t need to butter me up but i’ll take it
to soob: you know i love you so much right? can you come over tonight?
that evening, you meticulously laid out your physics notes and textbook on the kitchen island. you were stressing a lot, and in an attempt to calm your racing thoughts, you decided to bake. the sounds of the mixer and the clinking of the measuring cups was always something that soothed your anxious thoughts.
as the timer chimed, you pulled the tray of cookies out from the oven. just as you set them on the cooling rack, the doorbell rang, sending a jolt of nervous anticipation back through you.
you open the door to soobin.
“thank you again for doing this,” you said as you welcomed him inside. you guided him to the island. “i made cookies, so please feel free to take some.”
his eyes brightened with surprise. “you made cookies? i didn’t know you could bake.”
“i started in middle school,” you confessed, a hint of vulnerability crept into your voice. “my therapist said it was a good way to process my emotions. i don’t know.”
“you’re in therapy?”
“yeah, since middle school.”
“oh.”
the atmosphere in the kitchen shifted. you both settle into your seats. the tutoring session began, but despite your best efforts, you found it hard to focus. the equations and diagrams that soobin so easily drew out seemed to blur together and your mind drifted elsewhere. the only thing you could concentrate on was soobin’s long, veiny hands as they gracefully navigated the pages of the physics textbook in front of you.
“should we take a break?” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts.
you blinked, realizing that you had been staring at the same problem for a little too long. “i’m sorry. long day.”
“no, don’t apologize,” soobin reassured you. “it’s getting late anyways. we can always try again tomorrow.”
the next few tutoring sessions followed a similar pattern, but today you managed to gather yourself and focus, determined not to get lost in the small smile that graced soobin’s face whenever you correctly answered a question.
“you know what you’re doing?”
“what?”
“you know what you’re doing. just don’t overthink it.” he was referring to the problem set in front of you.
“oh, yeah,” you replied, your hand moving swiftly across the paper. in your mind, even if you got the question wrong, he would patiently explain it to you. this way, you wouldn’t be trapped in your head, thinking about how close he was to you, close enough to pick up hints of his shampoo, or how pretty his eyes looked with the kitchen lights dancing in them, or how soft his hands felt as they brushed against yours when he took the paper from you.
to your surprise, you managed to avoid any embarrassment for the rest of the session.
“when’s your next test?”
“in two weeks, i think,”
“we can meet a couple of nights a week until then,” he suggested.
as time passed, you found it easier to concentrate, the initial nervousness giving away to a growing confidence. you had to admit. soobin was a good tutor and with each passing day, you felt the weight of the test lessen, until the day of the test.
from soob: test day! how are you feeling?
to soob: i think i’m going to throw up
from soob: please don’t you’re going to do great you know i’m always rooting for you!!
you walked into the classroom with your chin held high, determined to “fake it till you make it” your way into a passing grade, but you spent the rest of the week after that a bundle of restlessness and anticipation.
finally, the day you dreaded the most arrived. the door swung open, and your teacher strode in, a stack of papers clutched in his hand. you held your breath, fingers crossed under the desk as he made his way down the rows, inching closer and closer.
“good job,” he smiled at you when he handed you your test.
after class, you practically sprinted to soobin’s locker, eager to share the news.
“check me out! i’m a nerd like you,” you exclaimed, thrusting the test paper towards him.
“har har,” he let out an amused snort, rolling his eyes. “i knew you could do it. maybe next time we can shoot for a 100?”
“i think we should focus on maintaining this 80%,” you chuckled. “i think this calls for a celebration. can you come over tonight?”
that evening, you and soobin set out to tackle the challenge of baking brownies. he was good at a lot of things but admittedly was very useless in the kitchen.
“it’s fine.” you reassured him, “i can teach you.”
“you’re always teaching me things,” he noted, his ears burning as he looked down at the mixing bowl.
“what are you talking about? i’m literally now passing physics because of you.
“not school things,” he explains. “i mean like practical life things. you taught me how to ride a bike; you taught me how to make friends––”
“i taught you how to make friends?”
“yes, you did. being friends with you just made me outgoing, i guess.”
“hmm.”
“anyways, you’re teaching me how to bake, although i think this might be a lost cause,” he quipped, eyeing the ingredients skeptically.
“just crack those eggs,” you instructed.
while you dealt with other things, soobin stood expertly mixing the batter. “can i taste it?” you asked, holding up a spoon.
“wait, this is so good,” you marveled at your own recipe.
soobin’s gaze met yours, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. he edged closer to you. “you have something…” he said softly, swiping your chin with his thumb, then tasting the chocolate batter from his finger.
“oh, uh, th-thanks,” you stammered, turning toward the sink to hide the elated grin that threatened to give you away. inside, you were almost bursting at the seams.
“so, cookies are for nerves, brownies are for celebration?” soobin asked, as you two settled onto the plush couch.
“and cakes are for when i’m sad,” you quipped, fingers deftly flicking the remote to life. “what do you want to watch?”
“i don’t care. whatever you want.”
wrapped in the cocoon of the soft blanket, you both sank into the cushions, the movie’s glow flickering across your faces.
as the credits rolled on the screen, you and soobin sat up, still close, but the proximity was charged with an unspoken confession.
“did you like the movie?” you asked, attempting to dispel the atmosphere.
“we’ve seen it like a million times,”
“yeah, but still.” you press and he just shrugs.
after a pregnant pause, he finally broke the stillness. “i feel like i need to tell you something.”
your heart quickened, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within. “yeah?”
“i, uh,” his voice wavered for a moment. “i like you,” he admitted, his words stumbling out in a rush, eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the middle distance.
“what?”
“i like you,” he repeated, softer and steadier this time. soobin’s heart raced, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he awaited your response. you, on the other hand, were filled with surprise and something else, you couldn’t even decipher. your breath caught. it was like the air had grown heavier, charged with unspoken desires and uncharted territory.
“oh.” you managed to let out. “that’s… oh.”
his gaze flickered back to his hands, usually so steady, that laid, slightly trembling in his lap. “it’s fine if you don’t feel the same. i’ve just been dealing with these feelings for a while and i just needed to tell you.”
“soobin, it’s—”
“you don’t have to say anything; i get it.” he interjected, “just forget about this. i value our friendship a lot more, so i don’t want things to be awkward between us.”
“soobin!” you exclaimed your voice firm and determined. “i like you too, but we… we can’t do this.”
“why not?”
“well, for starters, you’re graduating in the spring.”
“and i’m probably going to school, like what? two hours away?”
“i don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on your college experience by being with me or whatever.”
“y/n, you’re literally my best friend.”
“precisely why we shouldn’t risk it,” you insisted. “i cherish our friendship, and i don't want to jeopardize it.”
“i promise you there’s absolutely nothing that could ever make us not be friends.”
“i don’t… i don’t know.”
“sleep on it, okay?” he conceded, rising from the couch. “i should probably go home.”
you escorted him to the door, the gravity of the moment still lingering. “see you tomorrow?” he asked, framed in the doorway. the threshold seemed both a physical and emotional boundary, like a bridge between the familiar present and the uncertain future of your relationship.
“yeah.”
he leaned forward, a gentle breath of warmth preceding the tender press of his lips against your cheek. “goodnight, y/n,” he murmured before fading into the night.
your fingers lightly brushed your cheek, still tingling from where his lips had been. the sensation was still tingling, like a spark of electricity had been left behind. climbing the stairs you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. you felt like you were floating as you made your way to your room, crashing on your bed, kicking your feet thinking about the fact that he likes you.
the next day, you decided to skip lunch in the cafeteria. “please can you tell me why we’re eating lunch in the library today?” yuna asks, tossing her backpack onto a beanbag in the corner of the library where you settled.
“something happened last night.”
“did you and soobin finally kiss?” she asked, a sly grin creeping onto her face. you look up at her, trying to suppress your smile.
“well, not really.”
“not really? what happened?”
“he told me he liked me.”
yuna let out an excited squeal, earning disapproving glances from the other students.
“and he kissed my cheek.”
“shut up!” she was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to maintain her excitement.
“yeah, you should shut up.” some guy at a nearby table griped, annoyed by the disruption.
she rolled her eyes, returning her attention to you. “anyways, i’m so happy for you.”
“don’t get your hopes up.”
“oh, no.”
“yuna, he’s graduating soon.”
“okay? i don’t see what the problem is. you’ve had a crush on him forever and he was the one who said it first.”
“i just don’t want to do a long distance thing.”
“he lives right beside you.”
“and he’s moving away in seven months.”
“he’s moving to a different town, not a different country.”
“hey, you guys are making a lot of noise,” the library assistant reprimanded, approaching your table. “and you know you’re not allowed to eat in here.” she referred to yuna’s food.
“sorry,” you apologized, your voice meek.
she walked away, leaving you both to your conversation.
“yeah, ‘cause my carrots are going to crumb all over the books,” yuna quipped, but she complied, tucking away her lunch.
“i just don’t want to lose my best friend.”
with a multitude of thoughts swirling around your head, you knew you needed to talk to soobin. after school, you made your way to his house. as you walked to his bedroom, each step was weighed down by the uncertainty and anticipation that filled your heart.
the soft knock on soobin’s door pulled him from his thoughts. he swung the door open to find you standing there.
“hey,” you greeted, your voice above a whisper.
“hey,” he stepped back, allowing you in. his heart raced, a mix of hope and fear coursing through him.
you walked into his room taking in the decor. it hadn’t changed much from middle school. his walls were adorned with a mix of posters. a bookshelf stood against one of the walls, filled with a well-organized collection of novels, textbooks, and mementos. his desk, which sat by the window, was decorated with photos of the two of you from elementary school that you surprisingly hadn’t seen before. looking at them gave you the motivation to have the say everything that you wanted to say.
he gestured to his bed. you settled into your usual spots, the silence stretching, punctuated only by the soft sounds of the clock. soobin couldn’t help but steal glances at you, the room charged with tension.
“so, we should talk about last night.” you took a deep breath. he turned to face you, his gaze steady, waiting for your words. “i’ve been thinking a lot,” you continued. “and i do want to give this, us, a try.”
a smile broke across his face and you couldn’t help but melt. “you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
you mirrored his smile, a sense of contentment settling in your chest. “but,” you added, your expression turning more serious, “you are graduating soon, so we need to be realistic.”
he nodded. “we can face it together, one step at a time.”
you reach out, your fingers finding his. “okay,”
“can i kiss you now?”
“yes,” you giggled.
he cupped your face, slowly closing the space between you. meanwhile, your hands snaked their way to the back of his neck, pulling him down so his soft lips met yours. the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the sensation of his lips against yours.
the first touch was as light as a feather, but as a surge of emotion overcame the initial hesitation, the kiss deepened. time seemed to stand still and the moment stretched into infinity until you heard a cough coming from the door.
you quickly pull away from the kiss, your heart racing. soobin’s eyes held affection, his fingers still lightly grazing your cheek. you looked to the door to see his mom with her hands on her hips, a playful smirk on her face. “i was just checking to see if you were going to stay for dinner, y/n.” she said, her voice carrying a hint of amusement.
looking down at your hands, that sat in soobin’s hands, you responded quietly. “yeah, i’ll just text my parents.”
“okay,” she left the room with a knowing smile
“that was so,” you squealed in embarrassment, burying your face in soobin’s shoulder. his warmth enveloped you like a comforting embrace as his fingers gently traced patterns on your back.
“at least she likes you,” he joked, making you groan. “we should go downstairs,” he suggests, pulling away reluctantly.
as you proceed to stand up, he playfully tugged you back down, his eyes never leaving yours. “wait.” his voice held a soft urgency, his gaze locked onto your lips. “just one more.” he leaned in, the touch of his lips against yours sending a surge of warmth through your veins. his smile melted into the kiss.
“okay, we can go now.”
you followed him downstairs and avoided his mom’s knowing glances throughout dinner.
for the next few months, you spent almost every day with soobin. the two of you were once again attached at the hip, savoring every moment leading up to his impending graduation.
and the dreaded day of the ceremony arrived. soobin, loose tie in hand, entered his parents’ room with a furrowed brow. “mom, where’s dad?”
“he had to stop by the office, but he’ll meet us there,” she responded, finishing up her makeup. as she finished she turned to her son, her eyes sparkling. “oh my god,” she cooed. “you look so handsome.” she pulled him into a hug.
“god, mom, relax.” soobin chuckled, gently extricating himself from her affectionate grip. he smoothed out the wrinkles on his shirt.
“is it a crime for a mother to be proud of her son for graduating?”
“no, but i need help with the tie.” he gave it to her.
she took the tie, fingers deftly weaving it into place around her neck. “is y/n coming with us?”
“no, she’s going with her parents.”
“you know, i’m really glad you have her in your life.” there was a tenderness in her voice, her eyes fixed on her son as she put the tie around his neck, adjusting his collar.
“that’s random.”
“it’s not random. i’m just saying you’re graduating and going to college soon, and i just don’t want you to take her for granted.”
“i won’t. i promise.”
“ok,” she declared, a smile gracing her lips, indicating that she had finished. “good to go, we’re leaving in ten minutes so go finish getting ready.”
you arrive at your school’s auditorium thirty minutes before the ceremony began. you quickly settle beside soobin’s mother.
“i’m so glad you guys could make it,” she greeted warmly.
you scanned the hall, searching for your boyfriend in the sea of cap and gowns. the familiar hum of your phone in your lap brought your attention back to the present. it was a text from soobin, asking you to meet him outside the auditorium.
“is my dad there?” soobin’s voice held a note of urgency when he saw you.
“not yet, but your mom said he’s on his way. are you okay?” your hand rested comfortingly on his shoulder, trying to steady his nerves.
“i’m just nervous about the speech and the fact that he isn’t here yet.”
“well, he’s going to be here. who would miss their only child’s graduation?” you offered a reassuring smile, attempting to lighten the mood. “and the speech is going to go perfectly, okay?”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes, i do! you’ve been practicing all week. you’re going to do great.”
“what if i mess up?”
“if you mess up, just find me in the crowd, okay? i’ll be with both your parents and my parents, and we’ll all be cheering on you.”
“alright, thank you.” he took a deep, steadying breath.
you reached up, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “you’re going to do great,” you affirmed, and with that, he headed through the student entrance into the auditorium.
the ceremony flowed seamlessly. pride swelled in you as you watched soobin take the stage. his dad slid into your row just as he went on stage, and you offered him a thumbs-up, met in kind.
you returned to soobin’s house with your parents for the celebration. the living room was adorned with congratulatory banners and balloons, the most bright and colorful you’d ever seen his house.
for most of the party, you didn’t see much of him as he was passed around by friends and relatives that wanted to congratulate him. but eventually, at some point in the night he finds you and the two of you escape from the party to embrace the quiet of his room. the room was dimly lit, and mostly quiet, save for the chatter and the music softly playing from outside the door.
“god, i really needed this,” he confessed, stretching out on his bed. you nestled beside him, resting your head on his chest. he enveloped you in arms, fingers entwined with yours. “talking to people is exhausting,” he sighed.
“you were amazing today,” you reassured him.
“because i had you there with me.”
“and your dad came.”
“yeah, half an hour late. i can’t believe he went to work today.”
“at least he was there.”
“i don’t even care anymore. i’m just happy you were there and that we’re here together right now. i can’t wait for this summer.”
“i need to tell you something.”
“yeah,” he turned to you, fingers gently playing with yours.
“you know how i’m vice president of culinary club?” he hummed in acknowledgement.
“well, our faculty advisor told me about this culinary school that she thinks i should apply to for college.” you explained. “anyways she thinks i need to get a job or internship or something this summer to make my application stronger.”
“yeah,” his voice took on a more tentative tone.
“well, she connected me with one of her friends who owns a restaurant downtown and he said that i could, like, shadow him for the summer.”
“that’s great but–”
“i know. i don’t think it’s going to stop us from spending time together. we’ll still be able to do everything that we planned on doing. it’s just not going to be everyday.”
“baby, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“i just feel bad.” your voice softened.
“why?”
“we had so many plans.” you pouted
“and we’ll still be able to do them,” he assured you. “i think it might be good practice for us when i go to school in the fall.”
“yeah, you’re right.”
you leaned up to kiss him, and he kissed you back.
the two of you lingered on his bed, the world beyond the room fading into insignificance. then, a gentle rap on the door pulled you out of your trivial conversations.
“soobin,” his dad entered the room, voice cutting through the hush. “some of your guests are leaving. go downstairs to say goodbye.”
soobin shot up from the bed. “yeah, i’ll head down now.”
“y/n can i talk to you?” his dad asked. soobin looked back at you before leaving the room.
“yeah, what’s wrong?”
“nothing’s wrong. i just wanted to talk to you about soobin.”
“what about soobin?”
“why don’t you sit down,” he suggested. you complied, perching on your boyfriend's bed. “i wanted to talk about soobin because well he’s going to college in the fall and i just want to make sure that he’s not wasting his experience or losing his focus.”
you weren’t sure how to respond. “i’m don’t know–”
“see y/n, you’re a great girl and you’ve been there for soobin for a long time, but you also distract him.”
“what?”
“i work really hard to make sure that my family can live in this neighborhood and so that my only son can go to a good school. i don’t want to see him waste his life over his high school girlfriend.”
your chest tightened, emotions surging. you wanted to speak up, to yell at him and tell him off for inserting himself into your relationship. you wanted to yell at him for even saying this to you when he couldn’t be bothered to show up for his only son’s high school graduation. you wanted to defend your love and your commitment to soobin. but as the tears welled up in your eyes, the words caught in your throat. all you could manage was a quiet, “okay.”
“i’m glad you understand. i know we both care about him and we both want the best for him.”
he exits the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your tears. the last words he spoke echoed in your mind. we both want what’s best for him.
you gathered enough composure and strength, wiping away your tears, and made your way downstairs. you attempted to slip away quietly, but soobin caught you at the door.
“you’re leaving?” the dim light from the porch illuminated his face, casting soft shadows across his features.
“yeah, it’s getting late.”
“are you okay?” he noticed the tremor in your voice.
“yeah, i’m just super tired.”
“oh, okay? what did my dad want to talk to you about?”
“oh, he just asked me to send him the videos and photos i took of you earlier.” the lie tasted bitter on your tongue, but you pushed it out regardless, hoping to shield soobin from the weight of his father’s words.
“are you sure you’re okay?” he asked, taking hold of your hands. “do you want me to walk you home?”
“no, yeah, i’m fine.” you pull him into a hug for what felt like an eternity. if he noticed anything wrong with you after that, he didn’t bring it up. “i’ll see you tomorrow.”
that night, you couldn’t fall asleep. the room seemed to close in around you suffocating in its emptiness. the echoes of the conversation with soobin’s father reverberated in your mind, haunting you.
you grappled with the weight of your fears and insecurities. what if he was right? what if you were holding soobin back? distracting him? the thought had always lingered at the back of your mind since you began dating. and now that he was actually starting at college, that unspoken fear threatened to consume you.
maybe his dad was right. you needed to give him the space that he needed to grow. and it’s not like you had to break up with him. you just needed to keep him at an arm’s length and this summer was a chance for you to learn how to do that with you working. so in the weeks that followed, you found yourself pulling away and creating that distance. the space between you stretched as you took more shifts at work and spent less time with your boyfriend.
“i might move into school a week early,” soobin told you one day when you were hanging out in your room.
you felt your heart sink.
you hadn’t spent that much time together and now you had even less time together. it felt like a cruel twist of fate. still, you masked your disappointment with forced encouragement. “that’s good.” you muttered. “get to know the area better.”
“you think i should go?”
“i mean, if you want to. it seems like a good idea.”
“okay,”
as the day arrived for soobin to leave for school, you felt a void open up within you. the weight of missed moments and unspoken words crushed your soul, suffocating in their intensity. you called out of work but stayed in bed all day, cocooned in the covers, crying about the fact that you couldn’t allow yourself to savor the little time you had with soobin.
when soobin facetimed you later that evening, your heart both leapt and sank at the sight of his face. “hey, let me see your face.”
“i look horrible,” you groaned, but still revealed your face that was covered by your blankets and pillows.
soobin’s brows furrowed when he saw your face with your eyes red and your nose puffy. “have you been crying?”
“no, i’m just sick.” you tried to hide it, to mask the pain, but the cracks in your facade were all too evident.
“please, y/n, don’t lie to me.”
the raw vulnerability in his voice cracked something open within you. “i just miss you and i wish I could have helped you move in.”
“maybe i can come home on the weekend after classes start?” you wanted to revel in the possibility of seeing him again so soon, however the question lingered heavy in the air.
“do you think i’m holding you back from getting the full college experience?”
“where did that come from?”
“what if there’s like… i don’t know, a really cool frat party that weekend? would you miss out on that for me?”
“i think i’d rather see my girlfriend than go to some hypothetical frat party.”
“i’m being serious.”
“do you not want me to come home?” his question hung in the air, like a delicate thread of vulnerability. the room seemed to pulse with unspoken tension. your fingers tightened around the edges of your blanket, grasping for comfort and grounding, as you thought over your answer. every second of the silence felt like a weight on your shoulders.
you sighed. “i do, but–”
“then what’s the problem, y/n?” soobin’s voice, slightly raised, tinged with frustration, cut through the hush. “it seems like ever since the summer started you’ve been pushing me away, and i don’t know if i did something wrong.”
“you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“so what’s up?”
“i just don’t want you to feel like you’re wasting your time focusing on your high school girlfriend when you have so much life ahead of you.”
“you’re not just my high school girlfriend.” his voice softened.
“that’s not what i meant.”
“you’re also my best friend. and i don’t ever feel like i’m wasting my time by being with you.”
you contemplate telling him what his dad said, but you ultimately decide against it.
“what are you thinking?” he asked after you didn't respond for a while.
“i don’t know.” you confessed, your voice barely louder than a whisper.
“i need you to be honest with me because i don’t know what you need or how much more i can reassure you that you’re it for me.”
“maybe we should take a break?” the words slipped out before you could stop them.
“what?” soobin’s eyes widened, disbelief and hurt dancing in their depths.
“just maybe for the semester.” you rushed to explain, “so you can get your footing in school and i can focus on college apps.”
“so, you want to break up?”
“not like a real breakup. we’ll still talk and everything, just with some space.” he looked away, his jaw clenched, like he was processing the idea.
“i can’t believe you’re suggesting this.” his voice cracks as he blinks back the tears welling up in his eyes.
“maybe it’s what we need right now. we’ll still talk.” you promised, mostly trying to convince yourself.
the call ended and the weight of your decision settled on your chest, like a heavy ache that echoed the emptiness you felt inside. in your head, you were making the right choice for both of you, but that didn’t make it any easier. and as hard as you tried to maintain your relationship with soobin, over the next few months, the calls and messages became less frequent. the space between you was growing wider and each interaction held a bittersweet tinge, a mix of familiarity and the painful reminder of what once was.
the next break from school came quicker than you had expected. you sat at your desk, catching up on homework as the late morning sun streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. the creak of your bedroom door announced your dad’s presence.
“how are you doing?” he asked, his voice tinged with concern.
a faint smile danced on your lips as you turned to face him. “i’m not going to kill myself dad,” you joked, trying to lighten the mood. “i’m just doing homework.”
“you’ve been in your room all break. i think i’m allowed to be worried.”
you bristled, the walls rising around you like a fortress. “well you shouldn’t be, okay? i’m fine.”
“okay so you don’t care to know that i saw soobin’s car pull up into the driveway?” he asked. you let out a soft, almost imperceptible sigh, your gaze shifted to the patch of sunlight dancing on the floor.
“are you going to see him?” he gently suggested.
“i don’t know if he wants to see me,” you admitted, your voice a hesitant whisper. the weight of uncertainty settled around you, and your dad’s brow furrowed in empathy. he approached you to comfort you. “i think i messed up,” you confessed, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.
he paused to study your face, and then he spoke, his tone filled with reassurance. “i’m sure whatever you did isn’t that bad. who could ever not want to see you?”
a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips, grateful for his attempt to ease your worries. “you’re just saying that because you’re my dad.”
he reached out, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “you know that’s not true. and you know he wants to see you because he cares for you, and he knows you care for him too.”
“and what if that’s not enough?”
his gaze softened, “then you shouldn’t base your worth on what some guys thinks of you.”
“some guy? i thought you liked soobin.”
“yeah, but i like you more.” he pulled you into a warm embrace, the strength of his love wrapping around you like a shield. as he left the room, a sense of comfort lingered in the air. you sat there, the moment stretching, the decision before you felt like a bridge to cross, but you chose to not let fear dictate your actions.
with a determined exhale, you reached for your phone.
to soob: hey, i saw you just got home. whenever you get a chance, can you come over? i think we need to talk.
later that night, in the quiet stillness of your room, you receive a knock on your door. your heart quickened. you leaped out of bed, ready to face whatever awaited for you on the other side of the door.
“hey,” you breathed, the door swinging open to reveal soobin.
“hi,”
“please come in,” you invited him in. you held the door open, allowing him to step into your sanctuary. “how have you been?”
“good,” he replied, though there was a subtle hesitance in his tone.
“really?”
he left out a soft chuckle, a nervous habit that betrayed the calm facade he tried to maintain. “well, no, but i thought it was the appropriate thing to say.” his hand moved to rub the back of his neck. “how are you?”
“been better,” you confessed.
he settled onto the edge of your bed, and you joined him.
“so you wanted to talk?”
“i’m sorry,” the words tumbled from your lips.
“for?”
“everything?” the raw honesty of the moment threatened to engulf you. “asking for a break, not talking to you. i messed everything up.”
“you didn’t mess anything up,” he countered.
“but look at where we are,” you murmured, your gaze falling to the floor, unable to bear the weight of the truth in his eyes.
“and where is that?”
“here.” you took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “i just want us to be good like before,” you said after a long pause.
soobin’s expression softened, “me too. i’ve missed you.”
“like crying and throwing up every night?” you teased.
“eh, something like that,” a hint of a smile played on his lips, the lamplight catching the warmth in his eyes.
“good to know,” you replied, a smile tugging at your own lips.
“i’ve said this before, but you’re really it for me.”
“is that so?”
“yeah, even though your dad was giving me a stank as i was coming upstairs.”
“he was?”
“yeah, and i thought your parents loved me.”
“they do!”
“that doesn’t sound convincing,” he joked, a genuine laugh filling the room, echoing off the walls.
“they do, they do.” you try to convince him. “they’re just really protective.”
“well, how can i get in their good graces again?”
“maybe by kissing me.” you suggest, teasingly.
“you think kissing their daughter is going to make them not hate me?”
“yeah, i think it might be a start.” you replied, your voice soft, but sure.
“okay.”
he cups your face, pulling you into a tender kiss. as your lips met his, a surge of warmth spread through you, grounding you in the present moment. your hands found their rightful place on the back of his neck, fingers intertwining with the soft strands of his hair. in that fleeting, stolen breath of moment, the world outside seemed to dissolve, leaving just the two of you suspended in this fragile, but powerful connection.
when you finally pulled away, the room took a breath with you. in that moment, everything felt right again. you were back to your version of normal, and it was perfect.
soobin sat cross legend on your bed waiting for you to bring up some snacks. it was the first weekend of your spring break and he decided to come down to surprise you. while waiting for you, his gaze fell upon a large envelope on your bedside table, its seal embossed with the emblem of the culinary school that you had told him about.
“okay, this is a new recipe that i’ve been working on.” you announce, walking into the room with a plate of cookies in your hand. “i want you to be honest with me. that being said, if you hate it, i’m going to cry.”
“why didn’t you tell me that you got in?” he asked as he inspected the envelope.
“because i’m not going.” you set the plate on your bed.
“why not?” concern was etched into the lines of his face.
“for starters,” your gaze drifted to the windows. “i got more money from other schools. besides, it’s on the other side of the country.”
“so?”
“so, that’s too far.”
“but you knew where it was when you applied,” he pressed. “and it’s your dream school.”
“that doesn’t matter, soobin.”
“well, why not?”
“because, you’re here.” you admitted.
“so, you’re staying for me?”
“you don’t want me to?”
“no,”
“oh,”
“y/n,” he leaned forward, reaching out to touch your hand. “i don’t want you to give up on your dreams because of me.” his thumb was tracing patterns on your hand. “why is it so easy for you to understand when it comes to me but not when it comes to you?”
“i’m not giving up on my dreams,” you argued, your eyes meeting the boy on your bed with determination. “i just want to be with you right now.”
his fingers tightened around yours, trying to grasp the gravity of your decision. “we can still be together.”
“with 2000 miles between us?” you questioned. “we could barely handle a hundred. we’re finally good again. i don’t want to go to school across the country and have that change.”
“nothing’s going to change.”
“you don’t know that.”
“you’re right, i don’t know that.” he began, “but i do know that we literally broke up six months ago, and now i’m sitting on your bed again.”
“it wasn’t a break up; it was a break,” you interjected, a small smile playing on your lips.
“okay,” he dragged out the last syllable. “but my point still stands. we’ve been through a lot and we always end up right beside each other.”
you get your laptop from your desk and log into the admissions portal. “are you going to accept it now?”
“no time like the present.”
five months later, you found yourself getting in a taxi to your dorm with your parents by your side. they insisted on driving you there, but you managed to convince them that a cross country road trip would cause more harm than good to your familial relationship.
as you settled into the backseat of the cab, the familiar scent of your mother’s perfume enveloped you. the engine hummed softly beneath you, and the rhythmic sound of tires on pavement created a comforting backdrop.
your mother’s eyes sparkled with a mixture of excitement and a touch of sadness. she reached over and gently squeezed your hand, her grip warm and reassuring. “are you excited, honey?” she asked.
your father, who sat in the front seat, spent the entire ride bombarding you with questions about pepper spray.
you managed to drown out your parents, looking out the window, watching the cityscape evolve as you approached your dorm. the towering skyscrapers seemed to reach for the sky, casting long shadows over the bustling streets. you felt a knot of nervous energy settle in your stomach.
at your dorm, your parents helped you carry your bags up to your room. the air tingled with the scent of freshly painted walls and the promise of new beginnings. your room was a blank canvas, waiting for you to imprint it with your personality.
as you unpacked, your mother offered suggestions for organizing your belongings, and your father, more practically, made a list of all the necessities you needed to get like extra blankets and a first aid kit.
yuna, whose school went back in session a few days earlier, texted you inviting you to hang out with her and her roommate. you walked your parents back to their hotel, eating takeout from a nearby chinese restaurant in their room.
as the meal came to an end, there was a bittersweet air, as you gathered your things and left their room. you met yuna in a park downtown, sitting with her roommate. you ran towards her, the anticipation and joy bubbling over. she enveloped you in a tight hug. “i’m so glad you’re finally here.”
as you walked through the park, the conversation flowed effortlessly. you felt a sense of peace settle over you. it was like the first taste of the home you were building for yourself in this new, unfamiliar place.
you arrived back at your dorm alone. your room greeted you with a sense of familiarity. your side was a collage of memories and personal touches – framed photos, trinkets from home, and the soft glow of fairy lights casting a warm, golden hue.
you sat on your bed, looking out the window, the skyscrapers now standing in line with you. the city’s pulsed thrummed faintly in the distance. gone were the nerves that accompanied you earlier. in their place, a newfound sense of determination settled within you. you knew you had to do what you needed to make this place your own. it was the beginning of a new chapter, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.
and luckily for you, this new chapter did not come at the detriment of your relationship at first. for the first two months of the semester, you and soobin were still talking everyday and about everything – your classes, the new recipes you were working on, how one of your professors worked at one of the most famous restaurants in the world, and about your friends, how much yuna’s presence helped you settle in, how your roommate neither leaves the room nor says a word to you.
for the first time in this relationship, you could almost say that everything was fine.
but as time went on, you felt yourselves shifting into your old patterns of not talking to each other. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake off the feeling that soobin had lied. it seemed like everything was changing. or maybe he was right. maybe this was how it always was. there were never enough hours in the day for you guys to be together and you were coming to find that had always been a pattern throughout your relationship. it was just like eighth grade, or the summer before he left for college, or his first semester of college. the story was almost exactly the same – first it was missing texts because of conflicting class times and time zones. but then hours became days which became weeks and before you knew it, winter break was knocking on your door.
this was the first time you would see soobin in four months and the only thing that you wanted to do was melt into his arms. the familiar sights of your childhood neighborhood rushed past as your dad drove you home from the airport. every turn brought you closer to that one house on the street, the house that held so many memories, and now, the promise of reconnection.
as the car pulled into your driveway, you couldn’t contain your excitement. leaping out, you dashed inside your house, tossing your bags onto your bedroom floor with reckless abandon.
his mother greeted you at the door. “y/n, honey, you’re back!” she exclaimed, pulling you into a tight embrace.
growing up, you never spent much time outside of soobin’s bedroom in his home. his father’s relentless work schedule and his mother’s hesitancy to host guests left the rest of the house shrouded in a quiet unfamiliarity. as you walked through the hallways, you thought about how cold and gray the house looked the summer they moved in. it wasn’t much different now.
a deep breath steadied you as you approached soobin’s closed door.
some things didn’t change. the butterflies that swarmed around in your stomach were a constant companion that signaled you were exactly where you needed to be. but then you thought about how lonely you were without him this semester and you decided that maybe everything changing was for the best.
“y/n, you’re home?” his face betrayed him showing confusion. he never had the best poker face.
“yeah,” you affirmed softly, pushing open the door. there, before you, sat a girl at his desk.
or not.
“uh, this is my friend from school, arin. she couldn’t get a flight home for winter break, so she’s staying here.” soobin explained.
“oh,” you responded with a mix of emotions swirling beneath the surface.
arin extended her hand to you. “hi, it’s so nice to meet you. you must be soobin’s neighbor.”
“and his girlfriend,” you added, declaring your place in the room.
awkward tension hung in the air, a palpable shift in dynamics. as the evening unfolded, you settled into a corner of the room, watching the two converse. your gaze shifted between them, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. you marveled at the ease with which they fell into conversation, recounting stories, laughing. a truly unsettling sight. a pang of envy tugged at your heart.
as the night wore on, their voices became a distant hum to you. you felt like a silent observer, a piece of scenery, fading into the background. you did not plan on watching your boyfriend giggle at someone else’s stories for three hours. you longed for his attention, but that seemed like an impossible request.
soobin, engrossed in his conversation, was too oblivious to your discomfort. it wasn’t that he didn’t care, but rather he was just caught up.
you watched them with a mixture of longing and resignation, trying to convince yourself that this was just a temporary moment of disconnect and that soobin would turn his attention back to you soon. but with each passing minute, that hope waned.
gathering resolve, you got up. “i think i’m going to head home.” you announced.
soobin and arin turned their attention to you, momentarily pulling away from their conversation.
“are you sure?” soobin asked you.
you nodded. “yeah, it’s been a long day. i’ll see you later, soobin. it was nice to meet you, arin.” you turned back to your boyfriend, waiting for his response.
“i’ll walk you home,” he offered.
leaving the room, you couldn’t help but steal a glance back at arin, who was now engrossed in something on her phone. the ache in your chest grew.
the two of you stood in front of your house, the chill of the evening air settling around you. the soft glow from the porch light illuminated the path that led to your front door.
“so, she’s staying the entirety of winter break?” you asked.
“yup,” soobin replied, his words punctuated by a casual pop of the ‘p’. “is there something wrong?”
you hesitated for a moment. “no,” you finally shook your head, a small, rueful smile gracing your lips. “i just wanted to spend time with you alone.”
“we can still spend time together,” he assured. “i feel like you two would get along. she’s a lot like you.”
the reassurance didn’t offer the comfort you sought. instead, it settled uneasily in your stomach. you offered a distracted response, your gaze drifting from the quiet street to your front door.
“yeah, maybe.”
“are you okay?” soobin asked, pulling you back to the present moment.
you forced a smile, masking the swirl of conflicting emotions beneath the surface. “yeah, just tired.”
“okay, goodnight, i’ll see you tomorrow.” he said, leaning down to kiss you. the touch of his lips felt foreign, like a puzzle piece that no longer fit quite right. it was an odd sensation, leaving you with a lingering sense of disconnection. like you were slipping away from each other. you didn’t want to think too much about it, but deep down you knew that no matter how tightly you tried to hold on, it would be no use.
“goodnight,” you whispered, stepping back and slipping into the warmth of your house.
the days that followed were a dance of awkwardness and unspoken tension. you yearned for soobin’s attention, for the familiar touch of his hand, but it just seemed so out of reach.
one chilly afternoon, you all gathered at a small diner on the corner of town. the warm scent of comfort food wrapped around you as you settled into the vinyl booth opposite arin. your boyfriend trailed behind you, hesitating for a moment before sliding into the booth beside you, a subtle shift that did not go unnoticed. it was a tiny pang, but it was there.
you smiled and tried to shake off the unease, focusing on the menu in front of you. as you chatted about school and plans for the break, you couldn’t help but notice soobin’s gaze flickering between the two of you. it was as if he was trying to find balance in a delicate equation.
another time, the three of you planned to visit the ice skating rink. when you arrived at soobin’s house, you were met with the unfamiliar sight of arin in the front seat of the car. you hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to sit. the glance you exchanged with arin held a silent question, but before you could say anything, soobin assured you it wasn’t a big deal.
as the car pulled away, the hum of their conversation and the pulse of the music filled the space, leaving you feeling like a distant observer.
you invited soobin over for a movie night, so imagine your surprise when you opened your front door to see both of them. you smiled dropped as you welcomed them into your house. this was supposed to bring back a flicker of normalcy. you were supposed to nestle into your boyfriend’s side. but even as the movie played, there was a subtle shift in the air. every moment spent with arin was a reminder of the growing distance, like a river slowly widening between you and the person you held closest.
then came that one precious weekend, a rare convergence of circumstances. both of you found your parents out of town at the same time. you invited soobin over and unfortunately, arin was working on a project for school so she couldn’t join. you had to stifle a surge of joy that threatened to bubble over.
“i’m so happy that we’re finally spending time together,” you exclaimed, gently closing your bedroom door behind you. soobin sat on your bed, with your computer resting on his lap. “alone.” you emphasized, a smile playing on your lips.
with purposeful steps, you crossed the room. you carefully lifted the laptop from his lap, placing it on your bedside table. then, with a graceful movement, you straddled his lap, feeling the warmth and familiarity of his presence beneath you.
“i really missed you,” you murmured, your breath mingling with his. leaning in, you captured his lips in a tender kiss.
the room pulsed with newfound energy as the kiss deepened. soobin’s touch was gentle as his hands found their place on the small of your back, holding you close, grounding you in the moment.
as passion ignited between you, a fire that had been smoldering for far too long, you hands moved with purpose, fingers deftly working to remove the barrier that separated you from him.
but then, he pulled away, his breaths coming in measured, uneven intervals. “w-what are you doing?”
“i’m ready,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper. the air crackled with tension, every beat of your heart echoing in the silence that followed.
he sat up straighter, his gaze locked with yours. “are you sure?”
“yes, soobin, i’m sure,” you asserted, mustering more confidence. “i want this.”
he took a moment, his breath steadying, before he spoke. “alright,” he said softly.
he gently guided you back onto the bed. “it might be more comfortable if i’m on top,” he suggested. he removed his shirt, casually tossing it to a corner of your room. “please tell me if you want me to stop.”
you nodded in understanding.
“i’m serious, y/n. i need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”
“okay, i will.”
your heart raced as you laid there, your senses heightened. nervous energy tingled through your veins as his hands caressed your sides. his fingers traced the curves of your hips and thighs slowly. every inch of your body lit with flames as he touched you ever so lightly.
slowly, you mirrored his movements, your hands reached for the hem of your t-shirt. with a deep breath, you took off the old t-shirt to match him, laying eagerly in your pretty pink bra.
he stopped to look at you. “wow.” he breathed out. a rush of warmth flooded your cheeks, and you instinctively buried your face in your hands. he pulled your hands down. “don’t hide your face from me, baby.” he murmured with tender eyes. “you’re just so pretty.”
you pulled him down to kiss him. “i need you,” you moaned into the kiss.
soobin’s mouth never left your body as he fumbled with his pants. he licked and sucked on your neck, taking his time with his gray sweatpants. soft moans and sighs kept slipping from your lips as he marked your skin.
“wait,” he stopped. “do you have a condom?”
“top drawer,” you breathed out.
soobin reached into the drawer by the bed, his fingers deftly finding the box nestled amidst an array of trinkets.
“open up for me.” you did as he said, and spread your legs a little wider. he could tell you were nervous as he pulled down your shorts. “do you trust me?” he asked, to which you nodded. “it might hurt for a second, but i promise you, it will only be a tiny amount of pain.” you wrapped your legs around his waist and he slowly rocked his hips against you.
you felt him position his hips so that they were perfectly in line with yours, his tip edging your entrance. he began to work his way into you inch by inch, before steadily pushing in until you were filled with his entire length. he threw his head back in pleasure as he bottomed out in you. your hands still on the back of his neck, you nudged him closer to you. “i know it hurts, baby. i’m sorry. just tell me what you need.”
the pain and discomfort was quickly replaced with pleasure. you gasped quietly, and soobin took it as a sign to finally begin moving. he fell into a rhythm of deep slow thrusts just sent you spiraling. he leaned his face down to your neck for a moment, pressing kisses along your flesh and nipping at your shoulder.
“f-fuck, you feel so good.”
he raised his face again, your noses inches apart. your face was contorted in pleasure and he couldn’t help but groan, thrusting into your harder.
“soobin?” you moaned out.
“yeah, baby? i’m right here.”
“i love you.”
he leaned back down to kiss you, his lips trailing down your jawline to your neck.
every kiss, every thrust progressively getting faster was sending you over the edge, making you pant and moan underneath him. the sounds coming from you were making his head spin and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm.
he was hitting you in the right spot, causing a knot to form in your lower stomach as you approached your breaking point. the knot in your stomach tightened and snapped. your walls spasmed and clenched around him as you released all over his cock. your body was shaking from the intensity, as you cried his name out. fueling his organs. his hips stuttered and he joined you in climax.
his movements ceased to slow rolls of his hips before eventually stopping.
soft pants and deep breaths invaded the space and filled the room around you. you stayed like that for a moment, catching your breath. he then carefully pulled out. he held your body close to his chest, his eyes softening as he looked down at your exhausted face.
you nuzzled your head into soobin’s neck, kissing along his jawline. “that was so good.” you said between kisses. soobin responded with a contented hum, his fingers gently rubbing against your arm. the soft rustle of the sheets provided a soothing backdrop to the intimacy you had just shared, cocooning you in a bubble of fleeting bliss
but as the minutes passed, a subtle shift began to settle between you, like a distant tremor foreshadowing an impending quake. soobin’s touch, once tender and reassuring, began to falter. his breath, once steady and calming, now held an undertone of uncertainty.
“i should probably go back home,” soobin said, his arm slowly retreating from around your shoulder. “arin is alone.”
“seriously?” you turned to face him, a mixture of confusion and anger plastered on your face.
“what? she’s a guest.”
“you’re leaving?” you hold onto his arm, desperate to keep him close. “i thought you were going to spend the night.”
“i can’t leave her alone.”
“soobin, i just lost my virginity to you…” your voice trailed off, tears forming in your eyes. your hands dropped to your lap. the room seemed to close in around you, suffocating in its silence.
“y/n–” you could feel your blood boiling.
“don’t.” you shifted away from him on the bed. “i just lost my virginity to you and you want to spend the night with some other girl.”
“i’m not spending the night with her.”
“what’s so special about her?”
“what?”
“why have you chosen to spend every moment of this break with her instead of me?”
“we spend time together.”
“yeah, with her always there.”
the room seemed to hold its breath, the weight of your words settling into the air.
“she’s my friend and i care about her.”
“you care about her?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, every word laced with a pain that cut through the silence.
“yes i do. she couldn’t go home for winter break. I just want to make sure she doesn’t feel alone.”
“well what about me?”
“y/n, come on.”
“i told you i loved you.”
“y/n, i–” you could almost hear your heart break. he couldn’t even say it back to you.
you quickly sobered up, your walls rising like a fortress around you. “i think you should leave.”
“hey,” he reached out to hold you, but you swatted his hand away, the touch too little, too late. his fingers hung in the air for a moment before dropping, defeated.
“no. i don’t want you here anymore. you should go home.”
soobin stood up and got dressed. his movements were deliberate and slow as he gathered his scattered clothes. he dressed in silence, every gesture laden with a sense of finality. as he stood by the door, fully dressed, soobin turned to look at you. his eyes held a mixture of regret and longing, a silent plea for understanding that hung in the space between you. you met his gaze, your heart aching with a complex blend of emotions – love, betrayal, and a yearning for something that now felt impossibly distant.
the door creaked open and closed softly, the sound echoing in the hollow space left behind.
putting on a robe, you sat by your window, watching him go into his house, praying, hoping that he would turn around, see you sitting by your window, come back to you. but he just walked into his house, the door closing with a finality that sent a shiver down your spine. your room felt emptier than ever before.
you laid in your bed and let the tears fall freely, each drop a painful release. the weight of reality settled on your chest. a heavy ache seeped into your bones.
the days that followed felt like a slow-motion train wreck. it was as if the color had drained from the world, leaving only shades of gray. every passing moment that you didn’t hear from soobin was a jagged piece of glass, cutting into your soul. each night seemed longer than the last, filled with the silent echo of his absence.
you didn’t even know what hurt more — the raw vulnerability of giving him everything, only to have him leave, or the deafening silence that followed. the unanswered questions swirled like a storm in your mind. why hadn’t he reached out? was he feeling the same heartache that clung to your every breath?
his parents even visited for dinner and you had to paint a smile on your face throughout to hide the storm that raged within. when his mom inquired about your absence, you concocted a tale, your voice steady even though your heart felt like it might shatter.
other than your parents, the only person you spoke to was yuna, who became your lifeline even though she was on vacation with her parents. she was a voice of reason and a source of much-needed laughter. “honestly, fuck him. and fuck her too,” she declared.
“she didn’t even do anything,” you murmured in arin’s defense.
“who the fuck sits in the front seat of someone else’s boyfriend’s car?” yuna fired back, making you chuckle.
"i wish you were here. it's so miserable. i can't even leave my house because i'm scared i'm going to see him," you confessed, your voice a whisper edged with pain.
"if i was there, he'd probably have to file a restraining order against me."
returning to campus was like stepping onto a battlefield, but yuna was determined to wage war against the memories that threatened to engulf you and make you forget about a certain dark haired boy whose name you were no longer allowed to say. “you know what they say: in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone else.” she proclaimed from your closet, picking out something for you to wear tonight.
“i don’t know if i’m ready to get under someone else,” you admitted, fixing your mascara in your bathroom mirror, dressed in your robe.
“doesn’t matter if you actually do. you just need to get your mind off of him.” she hands you a black dress. “wear this. it always looks good on you.”
and so, you allowed yourself to be swept up in a night of bar hopping. the pulsing music and laughter washed over you like a healing balm. for a few precious hours, you were just another college student, drowning your sorrows in neon lights and thumping bass.
between the nights out, you threw yourself completely into your studies, the pursuit of a summer internship becoming your north star. you came to school to do something, and you weren’t going to let your heartache consume you.
spring was always a happy time for you. the air was warm, carrying with it the promise of renewal. it had been months since you had thought about soobin, and even longer since you had seen him. for the first time since that unfortunate night, you felt like you were completely over him. or at least getting there.
as you strolled back to your dorm from class, the world hummed with a quiet energy. the sun hung low in the sky and the air was soft and warm against your skin. but then you saw a familiar silhouette leaning against your dorm building. time seemed to stretch in that moment, the world around you fading into a blur. your heart quickened its pace, a staccato beat echoing in your chest.
"y/n," he breathed, his voice a soft plea that hung in the air. his presence was a sudden gust of wind, stirring the carefully constructed walls around your heart.
your guard was up, a fortress of steel around your heart. you wouldn't let him waltz back into your life just to tear you apart again. "what are you doing here?" you demanded, your voice steady despite the turmoil within.
"i wanted to talk to you."
"how did you find my address?"
"your mom gave it to my mom, who gave it to me."
you let him into your building, signing him in with the security guards in the front. the familiar surroundings now felt foreign with him there. in the confines of your dorm room, he looked around, his gaze grazing over the familiar details that now seemed foreign.
“you said you wanted to talk. so talk.” you said to him sitting down. you were so grateful that your roommate had gone to class. you really didn’t need her to be in the room with you now.
he glanced around, his face marked with uncertainty. “i don’t know where to start.”
you met his gaze without a word.
“i guess… i could start with sorry.” he offered with a nervous chuckle.
“i think that’s too little, too late, soobin.” you asserted, matter of factly.
“i miss you.”
“you can’t keep saying that.” your shoulders sunk. looking at him now, you could feel all the emotions bubbling back up — the anger, the hurt, the tears, they were all coming back to you.
“i know, but it’s true.” he rushed to add. “that’s why i came here. i wanted to see you. i know we didn’t leave things the right way.”
“soobin, you were the first person i ever had sex with and you left me right after.” you tried to keep your cool and maintain your composure, but it was getting increasingly harder.
“i-i know. i’m sorry,” he stammered, remorse filling his eyes.
“is that all you came here to say? sorry?” he looked at you apologetically, offering no further words. “you hurt me so much and you couldn’t even say anything to me afterwards. i waited every day for months to see if you would ever call me and you didn’t. it was like i meant nothing to you. it was just so easy for you to forget that i existed.” as the words flowed, you felt a strange mixture of relief and sadness wash over you. the wounds were still fresh, but there was a catharsis in finally addressing the unspoken.
“i’m s—” he stopped himself. “i know i hurt you. i don’t know what i can do to make it right.”
“i don’t think there’s anything you can do to make it right.” you said, wiping the slow tears from your face. you sat up, meeting his gaze squarely. “i spent our entire relationship fighting for you to pay attention to me. i can’t do that anymore. i don’t want to beg someone to care about me.”
“i care about you. you know that.”
“do i?”
“i didn’t think this conversation would go like this if i’m being completely honest.”
“i’m not angry at you anymore. at least i’m trying not to be.” you tell him. “and i don’t hate you, if you thought i did. i don’t think i could ever hate you.”
“i don’t think i can’t not have you in my life.”
“i’m still your neighbor.” you joked.
“it’s not the same.” he admitted quietly, sitting beside you. “y/n, i love you.”
“soobin–” you turned to face him, searching his eyes for any sign that he understood the depth of your pain.
“i know, it’s too late. i just wanted you to know.” his gaze fixed on his hands, fingers tracing invisible patterns on his jeans. “i can’t erase the past. but i want to try to make amends, to find a way back to some semblance of… of friendship, maybe.”
friendship. the word hung in the air, a fragile bridge between your shared history and the uncertain future.
“i don’t know if we can be friends. not right now, at least. maybe not ever.”
he looked up, pain etched in the frown lines across his face. “i understand,” he murmured, voice heavy with regret.
silence enveloped, broken only by the distant sounds of life outside. after what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke, your voice softer now. “i think i need time. to you know, figure out my shit.”
he nodded. “i want you to know that i’m sorry. truly.”
“i know.”
with a heavy heart, you walked him to the door. as he left, you closed the door behind him, leaning against it for support. alone in the quiet of your dorm, you let the tears come. finally you had a release of all the emotions long held in check. you had tried your hardest to bury them, but now it was time for them to finally come out. the pain was still there, but with each tear that fell, you felt a small measure of healing begin.
in the days that followed, you took each moment as it came, allowing yourself to grieve for what was lost and to slowly rediscover the strength within you. spring continued to dance outside, and you vowed to find your own renewal.
taglist: @boba-beom @dearlyjun @atinyniki @makoto @bunnie-hq @wiisoob @isabellah29 @pluviophile-xxx
fill out this form to join my taglist! author's note :: finally edited!! classic quintessential fay angst!! we're so back!! I wrote this story over the course of two months. it is the longest thing I have written so far and I am super proud of it. please lmk if I missed any warnings or have any typos. I really hope you enjoyed it
#fay's works#txt angst#txt fluff#choi soobin#soobin fluff#soobin angst#soobin x reader#soobin#choi soobin fluff#choi soobin angst#soobin smut#choi soobin smut#txt smut
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bsd men taking care of a cat
“Hello! Can I req for some headcannons about how Akutagawa, Chuuya, Fyodor, Sigma and Ada Dazai would react when their roommate brought home a stray cat? (They would be such cute cat dad's 😭)”
a/n : ofc u can! sorry for the long wait :(
fandom : bungo stray dogs
includes : sigma, dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, fyodor
all dividers i use belong to @/cafekitsune !!
masterlist | taglist | main page
SIGMA
• Sigma would just be minding his own business one day, doing something basic and essential like the laundry or cleaning while you were out shopping.
• He’d normally expect you to come in with a bag full of groceries and a big smile on your face, ready to tell him about what you had bought this time for him to try for dinner.
• What he didn’t expect however..was for you to not only do your basic chore of the day - but also bring in a fluffy little creature with its legs dangling as you hold it up in your arms.
• He’s a bit dazed for a second, eyes widening and his lips parted into a shocked 'o' shape as he tries to read what was going on in that head of yours.
• You both stand there for a few moments, the silence slowly turning awkward until you finally break it.
“Do you not like it?” You say with a pout. Sigma drops his washing cloth onto the table as he turns fully towards you.
“I mean..it’s a surprise.” He emphasises, a little chuckle escaping his lips at the end of his sentence. Your smile returns as you tilt your head to the safe, the little kitten coincidentally doing the same thing.
“Can we keep it, Sigma? Pleasepleasepleaseee..” You plead. He lets out a soft sigh at this, seeming unsure of what to do.
“Even if I had decided we could keep it, we don’t have the correct resources in order to properly care for it and we also don’t know what that poor things been through. It could carry all sorts of diseases!”
You gasp dramatically, cuddling the cat to your chest as you glare at your roommate from across the hall.
“Don’t say that to mittens..”
“You named it..?”
• After a while of your pouting and whining that lasted for about 10 minutes, he accepted the kitty with welcome arms.
• ..After it was given its shots and treatments.
• I believe Sigma is a fond cat lover when he gets used to having one around.
• He’ll bring it everywhere with him inside the house.
• He’d never let the cat outside unless it was in one of those cages..
• He’d get so worried if the cat were to leave home, even for a few hours!!
• He becomes so easily attached to the cat, it’s adorable.
“Y/N? Have you seen Mittens..?” Sigma appears at your side with a slightly worried expression, him fiddling with his fingers as he looks around anxiously.
You turn to him with a raised eyebrow, looking at his fidgety hands and then back at him. “I thought you had him with you?”
“I did..! I set him on your desk whilst I was working and the next minute I looked and then he vanished!”
He rakes his pale hands down his face, looking genuinely stressed for this little kitty you’ve both only had for a few weeks.
That was then, you heard the sound of a thud coming from upstairs. You both jump, Sigma having the worse effect of it since he was already on edge in the first place.
You both rush upstairs, Sigma behind you as you peak into your room ; nothing out of the ordinary, until Sigma taps your shoulder only for you to see Sigmas door a tad bit open as if someone had just slyly slipped through the crack.
You both peer into Sigmas room, only to be greeted with a sight that lights mostly Sigmas eyes up.
Mittens, splayed onto Sigmas king sized bed like a luxurious royal with a few knocked over picture frames that obviously had been caused by Mittens himself. But Sigma could only smile at the sight given the outcome that his- sorry, ‘our cat’ as he corrects, is safe.
“..I think you’ve grown an unhealthy attachment to this cat.” You say. Sigma only gives a mere shrug and a few embarrassed chuckles as he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, not conforming nor denying that statement.
DAZAI
• I’m gonna be honest and say it - he’d be the one bringing the cat in..
• He’d see a homeless little kitty on the sidewalk and be like “Oh! you’re coming with me!”
• He’s like the classic stereotype of a cat lady who’s got thousands of cats living at her feet.
• So when he comes home with the white stray cat in his arms, you sigh.
“No.”
“What?! You haven’t even given me the chance to hear what I have to say!” He argues.
“I know what you’re going to say, Osamu, and it’s a no.”
“But..” He holds up the white fluff ball up to your face.
“He looks like Atsushi-kun..”
“…”
“Fine.”
“Yay!”
• At this point you believe the cat takes care of Dazai more than Dazai takes care of the cat.
• Brings the cat to work at the agency with him.
•Everyone loves the kitty, pouting and stroking his fur as he purrs. Everyone loves him! (Especially Kyokua and Kenji <33)
• Although Kunikida scolds him for it because of how the cat spilled coffee all over his files one time.
• He could only glare at the cat as he licks his paws and meows.
• “..I can always buy more..”
• Dazais definitely the type to play pranks on the cat
• Like, place cucumber next to it so the cat can absolutely shit itself and he’d post it everywhere cuz he thinks he’s funny (Chuuya dislikes every single one and calls it animal cruelty)
• The cat however, doesn’t find him funny.
• Ends up with scratches littered across his face and some down his neck by the time he’s out of his bedroom.
“What the hell..?”
“Don’t..ask..”
Which is why you’re now in this predicament, patching him up in your bedroom.
You place a plaster on his nose, patting it gently before sighing softly.
“You bully that cat too much..” You state.
“Nuh uh! He’s the one that brutally assaulted me, why are you taking his side?”
“Alright let’s not go say brutally here..” You huff out a laugh.
He sighs dramatically, before you both hear a freak coming from your door, noticing the cat pushing through the door and slowly making its way in. Dazai glares.
“No, oh no you don’t..” He gets up slowly, backing away.
“Oh my god stop acting like a child, sit the hell down!” You exclaim, grabbing his arm and dragging him to sit back down.
He huffs and sits down, crossing his arms and looking away.
“I have nothing to say to you!” He says to the cat.
“He doesn’t care.” You say monotone, rolling your eyes.
He glares only until the cat jumps on the bed, strutting over to Dazai and curling up in his lap, purring and nuzzling into him.
Silence fills the room only until it’s filled by Dazais sounds of high pitched noise and kissing sounds.
“Ooooh..I’m just so sorry! It was my fault wasn’t it..? Yes it was..It really was..”
You snort a laugh, chuckling as you smile at the sight, taking out your phone to take millions of pictures to send to the agency.
CHUUYA
• So we know he’s more of a dog person, but..
• Y’know the type of person to be so against the idea but then immediately love the animal like it’s their child?
• That’s him.
“Why are you giving me that face??” You ask with a pout.
“What is it with you and bringing goddamn fleabags back to our apartment?!”
You scoff at Chuuya’s complaint, rolling your eyes as you hold the definite disease filled cat to your chest.
“Don’t do that, you’ll get fucking ringworm!!”
“We don’t even know if he has it!”
“So it’s a he now?”
You nod instantly, seeming so sure. That’s when Chuuya sighs heavily, grabbing his car keys on the kitchen counter and swiftly brushing past you and to the door.
“Where are you going?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.
“Where are we going ya mean..we’re getting that damn thing tested and you’re coming with.”
You smile, nodding, but then stop.
“..You’re not gonna put him down are you?”
He squints his eyes and gives you a dirty look, grabbing the door handle.
“The hell? I’m not a damn monster, come on..let’s go.”
• Turns out the cat didn’t have ringworm, the cat was just rather dirty and needed a wash up and a new home.
• Oh, and turns out she’s a girl!
“I could’ve sworn she was a boy..” You furrow your eyebrows, looking at the cat now resting peacefully in the cage Chuuya you had bought for it.
“I knew it was a girl.” Chuuya states matter a factly, keeping his eyes on the road. You give him a glare.
“Oh shut up, just because you want a dog.”
“Hey, I could buy a damn dog if I wanted to, but no, instead I have to put up with your ass bringing back unnecessary things like rats off the street!”
“It’s a cat..”
“Whatever.”
• Around a few weeks later, you come home and your nostrils are flooded with the mixed smell of tuna and cat food, your nose bunches up in disgust.
• You head towards the smell, the living room and your eyes widen in surprise at what you see.
• Chuuya, who was currently sitting on the floor pampering the cat, whilst she had the higher ground by sitting on a pillow which was placed on the glass table you both had recently purchased.
You stand there for a few moments, head tilting as you blink in surprise, then a little smile creeps up on your lips as you let out a snort.
Chuuya instantly turns to his side with an alarmed look, then seeing it was just you his expression softens and he rolls his eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that..” He says with an irritated tone as he looks back to the cat, now stroking her face with the back of his hand.
“I cannot believe I’m witnessing this right now..” You say to mostly yourself, covering your joyful expression with your hand to try and not irritate Chuuya even further, which of course fails due to your snickering.
“Get that stupid look off your face now.”
You roll your eyes playfully, rushing over to join him in pampering your cat.
“She’s grown on me.” He admits, a small smile placed on his face. You also smile, nudging him playfully.
“So you had to buy the entire pet store?” You ask, referring to the clearly high priced items he had purchased ranging from toys to beds and litter boxes.
“Shut your damn mouth..” He mutters, but you could’ve sworn you heard a chuckle escape past his lips just once.
AKUTAGAWA
• Akutagawa isn’t a cat person.
• Infact, he’s not an animal person.
• Not that he doesn’t like them, just that he’s rather..inexperienced when it comes to taking care of a cat.
• Like Sigmas reaction, he’d be confused and more irritated with the fact that the cat you chose had a resemblance to someone.
Akutagawa froze in place, looking at you with an expression of slight shock. There you stand, with a delicate little ball of fluff in your arms. You beckon for him to come closer with a smile on your face, he hesitates for a moment before approaching, hand covering his face but as he got up close, the neutral expression melts to one of annoyance and exasperation.
“Must you have picked that one out of all of them..?” He questions, his arms crossed with a look of disgust placed on his face.
You smirk, holding up the bicoloured kitty in your arms and shoving it in Akutagawas face, with which he instantly turns the other way. You laugh.
“..You did this on purpose didn’t you..?” He questions again. You could only snicker as he lets out an exasperated sigh.
• At first, he lets you handle the kitty, almost like he’s afraid to touch it.
• Stands atleast a few feet away from you whenever it’s with you.
“Are you..allergic..?”
*cough cough* “Yes.”
• He infact, was not.
• However, you don’t let him escape this easily.
• One day, you decide to leave the kitten on his bed whilst he was still sleeping as you leave in the early hours to run your own “errands”.
• It’s safe to say, he wakes up with a fright.
• He let’s out an annoyed groan as he reads the note on his desk.
• “Spend some time with your son! Have to run errands, buhbye~ ( ̄▽ ̄)”
• He calls you.
“Hello?”
“You idiot, why would you do this?!” He exclaims.
“Uhh, why would I as a decent human being have to go run errands and keep our home life cozy?” You ‘cluelessly’ ask, biting back a smirk although he can hear it evidently in your voice through the phone.
“No because I know you don’t have any plans to run any ‘errands’ any time soon, what do you take me for some damn fool..?”
“Oh lighten up, Ryū! You never know, it might be fun!” You reassure him, pausing for a moment.
“..But seriously, I really do need you to spend time with him because I read somewhere cats can become depressed if you neglect them for so long, do you want our cat to be depressed, Ryū?!”
“…”
“Don’t answer that..just- haveagood time okaybyeee!!”
“Wait- Y/N!!”
• He ends up awkwardly staring at the cat for a while, before actually getting up and putting in atleast some effort.
• He has to google ‘How to take care of cats’ on your computer and even going out to the library to try and find some books on them.
• A few hours later you stand outside the front door, taking a deep breath as to prepare yourself for the wrath you’re about to receive when you walk through that door.
• But instead, you hear a cough from behind you and a quiet voice speaking.
“Ah, Y/N, you’re home.”
You turn around and your eyes widen.
Akutagawa, had the kitty attached to a leash. You stare, absolutely dumbfounded and shocked. Akutagawa looks at you with a confused expression.
“..Why are you looking at me like that..?”
You shake your head as you put your fingers on each side of your temple, rubbing furiously.
“Okay okay, pause..what are you doing with our cat?” You ask. He looks at you and blinks before responding, looking down at the kitten.
“Oh, well..I read that some animals, especially cats prefer to be outdoors than indoors, so I bought a leash and took him for a walk.”
You stare at him, trying to process his words.
“You..took the cat..for a walk..?”
“..Yes.”
“The cat..for a walk.” You say again, trying to get it through his head.
“..Yes.”
There’s a ring of silence for a few moments, before Akutagawa breaks it.
“What else was I supposed to do?”
“Cats are more preferred to go out on their own, not tied to a leash.” You explain.
“..Oh..is that why some people were given me strange looks whilst I was walking doing the street with him?” He asks.
“I suppose.”
He looks down at the cat, nodding slowly.
“Just..” You start, opening the door for you guys with a slight smile. “Come in, I’ll help you with untying him.”
He nods again, picking up the kitten gently and you notice that’s the first time you’ve ever witnessed him getting as close to touching him. Your smile grows.
He brushes past you as you open the door for him, he stops just as he enters and turns to you, hesitating to ask something, but then he does.
“Did I..do good..?”
Your smile grows once more, before carefully placing your hand on his head, which he flinches slightly, but doesn’t stop you.
“You did great, Ryu.”
FYODOR
• Fyodors not too fussed on having a pet.
• Although he believes some could be a distraction to his work and plans, he wouldn’t mind them all much.
• But, would probably not pay much attention to them..
• That is until, you put one in his lap.
“My my..” He starts, looking up at you and looking down at the little black cat placed on his lap, now pawing at his desk. “What have we here?”
“A gift, and one more problem for you to deal with!” You say with such happiness in your tone of voice, he had almost chuckled.
“Funny, truly.” He says with a slight smile. “But I won’t be putting up with such.”
You raise an eyebrow in confusion. “Huh?”
“I won’t care for it.” He says, referring to the cat. You gasp, furrowing your eyebrows as you glare.
“You’re joking?”
“Have I ever?”
You cross your arms, scoffing at him.
“I bought this just for you, you know? How ungrateful!”
“But, I didn’t ask you to buy this for me, did I?” He says with a smirk, your expression was baffled as you scoff again, slapping your hand over your heart.
“I’m hurt you know.”
He looks at you once more before turning back to his work, ignoring the cat who was still trying to paw at his desk.
You had a sour look on your face all day until the same night as you were walking to your room, you couldn’t help but hear a jingle of bells coming from Fyodors room? Curiosity grew in your bones as you slowly approached his room, peeking through the crack of the door.
There he was, jingling a little bell in-front of the same cat he had ‘claimed’ he was going to ignore with a slight smile on his face, actually seemingly enjoying the cats company as it leaps up with its paws to try and catch the bell.
You couldn’t help but pout as your heart melts at the scene, scrambling in your pocket to find your phone to capture this moment.
However, curiosity did infact kill the cat (you) when you open the photo app and look up, you notice Fyodor gone, and not only that, but he was now behind the door, poking his head around and looking down at your phone.
You jolt up, throwing your phone and covering your mouth with your hand, he smirks. You only glare.
• Soon after that, you had your phone privileges revoked and kept from by Fyodor.
• And surprisingly enough, pays attention to the cat more than you now.
• Always jingling some sort of key or bell infront of its face
• Always having it on his lap.
• At this point you believe he’s just doing it to annoy you.
• But in all honesty, you found it sweet.
• Fyodor had bought the cat an outfit, one that matched his, the hat and all.
“Y/N, come have a look at this.” He says, hand motioning you to come forward. You nod, standing up from your place on the couch and approaching him. You think he’s just going to show you his layout for his current scheme, but no.
It’s the black cat hearing a little shrunken sized version of Fyodors hat and coat and you melt once again.
“Ooohhh..Fyodor you have to give me my phone back so I can take photos please!!”
“Fine.” He says almost instantly, which you find odd at first but quickly brush it off.
You open your phone and open your camera and take lots of photos of the kitty, then going on the photos and scrolling through them until you see some you had never taken before..Fyodor had taken them. You smirk.
“So much for not caring for it huh?”
He merely shrugs, typing on his computer.
“He’s my new sidekick, you’ve been replaced.”
You furrow your eyebrows as you kick his leg.
“I pay the bills, stupid.” You retort, glaring.
“I cook, ‘stupid’” Fyodor shoots back.
The only noise that can be heard is his typing on his computer and you snarl, looking him up and down with daggers as the kitten meows, nuzzling it’s cheek against Fyodors cold hand.
“Yes, i know malen'kiy kotenok (little kitty), they are rather annoying are they not?” He says to the cat, you narrow your eyes.
“Ew.”
-
@/riiwrites - reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤︎︎
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd x reader#bsd headcanons#fluff#bsd x you#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd akutagawa#bsd sigma#bsd fyodor#sigma x reader#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#akutagawa x reader#fyodor x reader#bsd dazai osamu#sigma x you#chuuya x reader fluff#chuuya fluff#dazai fluff#sigma fluff#fyodor fluff#akutagawa fluff#fyodor headcanons#sigma bsd headcanons#dazai headcanons#chuuya headcanons#akutagawa headcanons#riiwrites
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distraction - m.s
summary: after a painful conversation with Matt, where he harshly ended your friendship, you are left heartbroken and confused
warnings: sad, bsfmatt, cussing, use of y/n, not proofread
word count: 1.1k
a/n: this is kinda really bad lmfao
my inbox is always open to requests <3
You sat alone in your room in the middle of your bed. Has it ever been this quiet? The cars from outside would drive past your apartment, that’s all you can hear. It’s only 8pm and I have nothing to do. You quietly sobbed
Matt just dropped me off. That’s all I can remember.
Nick called you
N: “Y/n?”
You: “Nick?
What happened?”
N: “Matt is crying. What the fuck happened in that car ride?”
You: “Oh. I..” You didn’t want to think about it honestly.
Flashback
“I just don’t feel like we can be friends anymore.” Matt said, his tone dripping with disgust
“What?” You froze. He was joking. Right?
“We all talked, we just think you're a distraction.” He held the bridge of his nose.
“Did you?” You croaked out
“What did Nick say?” You were in defeat, no way Nick would actually say that. And as well as Chris?
“It doesn’t really matter what he said. I think you are a distraction” he said shifting uncomfortably in his carseat.
“Oh.” Your heart broke into a million pieces. You’ve always liked Matt. He was your favorite.
“I’m sorry.” You tried to say. But your throat felt like it was blocked and you couldn’t even swallow. Your face was hot, you just wanted to go home.
“I’ll drop you off.” He said his words were a bit lightened.
If he never said anything I would’ve been home 10 minutes earlier.
I wouldn’t be crying.
The engine was humming, that's how loud the silence was. No words spoken, no sounds.
Nothing.
Now:
N: “Why the fuck did he say that?”
You shrugged like he could see you through the phone. Your head falls into your hands.
You: “I wish I could tell you.” Your voice a bit raspy
A few minutes pass by and it was filled with silence
N: “Hey okay I’m going to help Matt alright?” He says in an almost whisper.
You: “Alright”
You didn’t like that you had all this time on your hands to think about it, to replay it in your head over and over again.
So you got dressed and called your friend to see if you can forget it all and go to a club.
You applied the last of your mascara.
You didn’t even recognize yourself, it felt like you’ve completely alternated but that wasn’t true.
At least that’s what you were trying to force yourself to think.
You exited out of the uber and entered the club.
“God!” You yelled it was extremely loud
“Oh my god Y/n!” Her voice was slurred but anyone could recognize it’s your best friend Bri.
“You actually fuckin’ came?” She laughed and gave you her drink
“Here sip. S’good right?”
You nodded trying to not puke already, that was the most terrible drink ever but it’s beer what did you expect.
You went over to the cooler and grabbed yourself your own beer and chugged it.
“So why are ya here?” Bri asked “Did a guy break your pretty heart?” She giggled
“Something like that, remember Matt? Oh yeah he fucked me up”
Hours later, and 3 beers later. (You weren’t much of a drinker to be honest)
“Does Matt really hate me?” You thought to yourself
You’ve grown sick of being here suddenly it was too hot, too loud, too many people.
You checked your phone
3:26am
You left the club you didn’t want to get into an uber afraid you were going to puke in it.
Everyone was most likely asleep right now.
Except for one person
The phone rang on maybe until the 3rd ring
“Hello?” He groaned, his voice was deep and tired
“Matt?” You sniffled
“Y/n are you okay? Where are you?”
“IdontknowIwannagohome!” you said really fast and sobbed
“Fuck, let me keys I’m coming” You heard jangling and the call ended
The realisation quickly hits you. You called Matt, the one you literally just fought. What the fuck were you doing?
You sat at the curb, waiting for him, that's all you could do.
He pulls up, you could instantly recognize his minivan. You snickered to yourself, you always teased him about it.
You opened the passenger seat and sat down
“Are you okay?” A worried look plastered on his face
You nodded, your lips jutting. Trying not to cry
“Listen Y/n I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-” He realized it might not be the best time to talk so he just drove.
“I have a bag here um, just throw up in there I guess” He place the bag in my lap
“Matt, you never told me what I was distracting you from.” you swallowed
“I never meant it. I thought you were.. Distracting me from.. Our videos.” he admitted embarrassed. “I’m sorry” he whispered looking at me “Also heres a jacket it’s fucking cold out here”
You hummed as he threw the jacket over your shoulders.
Holding tightly on the jacket around your shoulders you fell asleep.
We arrived at my apartment
“Y/n” He tapped my shoulder “We’re here”
I shook “Huh?” I looked around, noticing my apartment. I slipped off the jacket and took off my seatbelt.
“Thank you so much.” You smiled
“Of course, but, Y/n look I’m sorry.” The moonlight shined on his face, the outline of his puffy eyes indicated that he did indeed cry.
I just hugged him
“It’s okay.” You whispered into his hair
He hugged you back tightly
“Wait actually. Can you stay over?”
He smirked
“No! Fuck off not like that!” You furrowed your brows annoyed
“Yeah, yeah I know” He rolled his eyes smiling
“I don’t like sleeping alone, y’know” you said quietly
He nodded and we both got out of the car.
You got to your door and unlocked it and headed inside throwing everything to the floor, your purse, shoes. You left his jacket hanging and went into your room. Matt followed
You slipped out of your dress without a warning
Matt’s eyes widen and instantly turns around his face flushed
You threw on some sweatpants and a random big shirt (Matt’s shirt)
“Do you need any clothes?” You offered
“Nah I’m good” He cleared his throat
“C’mere” You yawned inviting him to bed. He joined you taking off his socks and stretching
Matt wraps his arms around you and plays with your hair.
“I’m sorry. Genuinely”
You looked at him “I know.” You snuggled into his chest and yawned
You fell asleep instantly, in his warm embrace.
I HATE THIS SO MUCH
#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo imagine#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo fluff#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matt x reader#matthew sturniolo smut#mattsturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris x reader#nathan doe
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Let the Right Girl In
Pairing: loser!Draco Malfoy x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.4k
Based on this request! Thank you :)
TW: use of fake/artificial blood and fangs, kissing
Summary: After months of secretly craving your attention, your friend Draco Malfoy finally finds the courage to overcome his crush-driven nerves by inviting you to the Halloween party of the season at Malfoy Manor. What he doesn’t expect is how quickly you turn it into a date at the suggestion of a seriously iconic couple’s costume.
A/N: There are of course some direct quotes and references from “Dracula” in this fic. It’s all very obvious with just a super basic knowledge of the story. No further research necessary :)
.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Move, you bloody oaf!” Draco yells as he shoves a third year Gryffindor into the nearest wall, hastily making his way down the corridor to Transfiguration class. Any class he shares with you is his favorite, but today is different. Today he’s extra eager to arrive early to grab a seat next to you.
Usually he waits outside the classroom until you’re about 10 feet away, stealing you away from whoever holds your attention at that moment. His confidence glows, but underneath are a thousand nerves, each one sparking like fireworks when you arrive.
Most people can’t get under Draco’s skin, but you aren’t most people. This boy has had eyes for you longer than he’d like to admit, and he’s spent each day of it absolutely craving your attention. In fact, it’s become sort of a game for him. Devising ways to bump into you, manipulating teachers to partner you on projects, whatever it takes to get even just a glint of eye contact, a brushing touch, or a subtle laugh from you.
And the fact is, none of it is for show. The payoff for him is the prolonged, palpable thrill that lingers from even just a fleeting moment with you.
Draco’s parents have decided to host a lavish Halloween party at the manor this year and the minute he caught wind of it, he was dead set on you attending. Hundreds of fancy invites have been created already, yours being the first delivered, of course.
McGonagall gives Draco a curious eye, suspicious of his unusual timeliness. “Class is not yet in session, Mr. Malf-” she stops abruptly, her attention turning to you in the doorway. She looks between the two of you, a knowing smile grows on her face as Draco’s unwavering stare follows your every step. He couldn’t blink if he tried.
“Hi, Draco” you greet him in your soft, bright voice. The sound of his name on your tongue sends a jolt of adrenaline through him, struggling to produce a coherent response.
“Precious, precious Y/L/N,” he responds, his heart quickening as you set your books down next to his own on your desk. He swallows, trying especially hard to maintain his cool facade. “Feel like being neighbors today then?”
You sit down next to him, smoothing your skirt out underneath you while doing so. You scan him up and down, making him wonder… are you… checking him out right now?
“Hmm, well I always did have a thing for the boy next door.” You joke, nudging him with an elbow. Your response alone is enough to break his brain, enough that he has to tell himself you were just playing around. He readjusts his focus, reminding himself of the task at hand.
“Then I suppose it wouldn’t be too difficult for you to find your way over, then?” he asks, extracting the invitation from inside his robe and presenting it to you, your intrigued features quickly relaxing into an excited grin.
The way your hand grazes his while accepting the card could have added years to his life. His gaze worships you, morphing into tunnel vision the longer you inspect the invitation. Your eyes note the black and orange borders and the lovely cursive handwriting that could only belong to Narcissa.
You look up to him, his breath still as he awaits your answer, the anticipation rendering his mind blank.
“Do we get to wear costumes? Or is this one of those classic Malfoy functions that requires classic Malfoy attire?” You inquire, each word drenched in playfulness.
He fucking loves riffing with you and pushing each other’s buttons. As long as you’re talking to him, it doesn’t matter. You could be publicly berating him and he would relish every single second.
“Costumes required, actually. But that won’t be hard for someone who already resembles an angel,” he says, resting his temple on a fist. To this, you break into a fit of laughter. He can’t help but notice the rosy hue developing on your cheeks, the way your eyes crinkle and your nose scrunches.
“An angel?! How positively daft,” you tease, shaking your head. He could have sworn you started to reach for him in your bout of giggling. “No, I’ve got a killer idea.”
He is just dying to know what you have in mind, his thoughts swimming with fantasies of you in his home, all dressed up. But it is quickly cut off by a room full of loud students and a yelling McGonagall, a sigh of frustration emitting from him. He’ll spend the rest of class imagining you in a range of costumes- cat, inmate… bride? Yeah, that’s his favorite one.
He watches you slip the invitation behind the cover of your textbook for protection. You throw him a wink, and it damn nearly kills him.
—
Not a day goes by where he isn’t secretly praying to fast forward to Halloween. Countless times now he’s imagined you meeting his parents, introducing them to his most favorite person. That is, until today.
Lately, Draco’s been deprived of your attention, shying away from fear of bothering you. Honestly, he is still recovering from his flirtatious interaction with you in McGonagall’s class, repeating and analyzing every sentence in his head over and over.
As he’s walking into the Great Hall for breakfast, he approaches the table and notices a book lying where he normally sits. Probably some delinquent student forgetting their belongings behind.
But as he gets closer, he’s hit by a wall of your perfume, a mist of orange blossoms and vanilla filling his senses, indicating your very recent presence. The fragrance causes him to look around for you, a burst of butterflies erupting in his chest as he finds your stare already on him from a few tables over.
You nod in the direction of the book at his place setting, urging him to take a peak. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t hard to break away from your entrancing eye contact, the boy desperate to keep your gaze on him as long as possible.
He manages to glance down, expecting a textbook or something he’s already read. Instead he reads the title aloud, his Slytherin friends listening in as his eyebrows furrow in confusion.
“Drac-ula? What is Dracula?” he asks to no one in particular, a hint of attitude in his voice. Pansy giggles, being in on your idea previously. She reaches across the table and opens the cover for him.
“It’s a famous muggle story, you git. A bloody good one, you could say.” She and Blaise smirk to each other in pride of her pun, but it earns no response from Draco. She turns the page for him again, this time revealing an illustration of the pale man with his fangs sunk into the neck of his damsel-like counterpart.
Draco’s eyes grow wide, the realization finally settling in. He jumps as you suddenly appear behind him, talking over his shoulder on your tippy toes with your hands on each of his upper arms.
“You already have half his name, and his personality,” you start, huffing a laugh to yourself. His eyes still linger on the drawing as he turns slightly towards you. “I figured you’d be perfect for the part.”
“And you?” he asks with genuine curiosity, his voice just barely shaking, his features softening at the sight of you. You caught him by surprise and now he’s a melting mess, your glow slowly hypnotizing him.
“Darling, we’re both in that picture.” You respond, throwing him another wink and a playful hiss before walking away with your friends. His brain can barely register this information, requiring a minute to fully process your idea.
Theo pokes fun at Draco as the gang gets up to leave for class. “Dear god, I’ve never seen it this bad. It’s like we’re not even here!” He sneers, snapping his fingers in front of Draco’s face, but to no avail.
Draco whispers to himself while scanning the illustration again, unaware that his housemates are in listening proximity. “It’s a couples costume. She wants to do a couple’s costume… with me.” A small smile forms on his face in the aftermath of your conversation.
“You ought to save that devilish smirk for your upcoming role,” Pansy jokes. He stows the book away in his bag and decides to skip his first class, opting to read the book that made you think of him, instead.
—
Draco stands utterly still, completely in awe, taking a mental picture of the image before him: you, sitting on his bed in his home. His actual real life home. He’s not sure if it’s disbelief or amazement or general arousal but it’s safe to say there’s a healthy mix of each.
You had brought over everything the two of you would need for your costumes, the nature of yours nearly sending him over the edge already. Normally, he’s praying for just a glimpse in his direction in class, but today, there’s no one else here to distract you from him.
“Come here, lovey,” you say, coaxing him over to you as you lay out the makeup and supplies on a small bedside table. He nearly falls over at the nickname, attempting to build his cold walls back up, but the blush on his cheeks says otherwise.
He sits on the edge of his bed facing you, and you notice how unusually quiet he’s been since your arrival. It’s hard for you to imagine the Draco Malfoy being… anxious?
You approach him, leaning slightly between his legs to get a better vantage point of his face. It takes every fiber of his being not to glance down to your cleavage, the Victorian style dress you’re wearing putting it on full display.
You run a hand through his hair, admiring his features as he looks up at you with eyes full of pure adoration. A slight pause has you realizing how truly weird this is- the coldest boy in school, the Slytherin prince himself, inviting you over to the privacy of his house, giving you the grand tour, letting you set up shop in his childhood bedroom.
Most people aren’t even granted permission to speak to him, and yet here you are, finally coming to the conclusion that… you really aren’t ‘most people.’
He let you in.
“Open your mouth, boy.” Your voice sultry, a teasing smile adorning your face as you place a hand under his chin, holding it in place. His body could ignite right now with how hot his skin is from your touch. He’s not sure he was ever prepared for this level of intimacy with you.
He parts his lips, granting you access inside. Suddenly, your fingers are in his mouth, working on attaching a set of fangs to his teeth. Is this real? Is this happening? How are you so comfortable right now while he’s silently screaming inside at your mere presence?
The limits of his self control are being brutally tested, something he didn’t foresee being an issue today. Electricity shoots through his body as the taste of you grazes his tongue. You can’t help but notice how perfect his lips are, how soft and supple they seem.
Your eyes go wide as the fangs click into place, something wild sparking within your stare. He notices and gives you a look tinged with intrigue.
“This may have been a very bad idea,” you joke, a hint of bashfulness lacing your words. “I didn’t realize you’d make such a handsome vampire.”
His grin grows instantly, his confidence rising ever so slightly as you share your vulnerability. His eyes still shine up at you with sheer infatuation as your posture caves in a bit, bringing your faces closer together.
It’s quiet for a moment as he lets you take him in. The weight of his kindness, openness, and hospitality is all starting to make sense. On top of that, there’s something quite serene about seeing him in this environment, one where he’s fully himself. The volume of your voice lowers to a shadow of a whisper as your hands clasp behind his neck.
“I need you to do me a favor, Draco.” It is incredibly difficult to keep his focus on anything but your lips and how little distance there is to his own. But he’ll do anything he can to keep his chance with you alive and well.
“Anything, doll.” He responds, sitting up straighter.
You reach for an item on the table and place it in his hand, his head barely registering anything outside his immediate concentration on you.
“I need you to make me your Mina.” His heart nearly explodes at the request, his every desire begging him to crush his lips onto yours. He looks from the illustration in the open book on the table down to the container of fake blood in his palm, a smirk thrown your way as he understands what’s coming next.
A hand on your waist catches you by surprise, the pressure guiding you to sit down on his thigh. Before you know it, he’s the one towering over you now, his arm secured around your waist to keep you balanced on his lap.
Don’t be fooled, he is still absolutely racked with nerves. But the girl of his dreams is sitting on his lap, and god damnit if he’s going to let this opportunity pass without making the most of it. He can be brave for you.
His hand makes its way towards you, the deep red substance dripping onto your dress. Your hand finds his back, gripping the material of his white ruffled shirt tightly in your fist. “Tilt,” he requests, needing more access to your neck. You do as asked, resting your head on his shoulder to expose more skin.
He wasn’t expecting you to do this, but god he’ll take it. In a swift motion, he lifts your legs over both his thighs now, giving you both maximum stability. The breath from your small laugh into the crook of his neck gives him chills, his eyes closing for a moment to relish it.
The hand around your waist lifts higher to gather your hair, laying it neatly behind your shoulders. The next thing you feel are his fingers dragging their way across the side of your neck, painting your skin with care and intention. Each stroke makes its way lower and lower towards your chest, the thumping of your heart picking up each time you feel him slide over you.
“Mind if I…?” Draco prompts, gesturing the packet of fake blood itself to your neck. “I’m feeling quite committed to the theatrics.” To this, he earns a joking eye roll of approval from you.
You adjust yourself on his lap, causing his hand to slip down around your hips. Whatever it takes to just keep you here forever seems necessary to him. His heart may be racing, his muscles aching from making sure you’re comfortable, but this is all he’s ever wanted.
You are all he’s ever wanted.
You feel the red liquid cascade down your neck to your chest, seeping into your cleavage, some of it staining the bodice of your dress. Just enough to make it look like a real vampire bite, without being excessive.
“You know,” you breathe, lifting your head to meet his stare, your noses practically touching. “There is one way we could make this… really convincing.”
Draco searches your eyes and for the first time, he finds the same unfiltered longing staring back at him. A needy, pulling desire fills the remaining space left between you. Your hand finds its way to the base of his neck, a slight pressure not unlike the one he used on you before.
“If… if you want, I mean.” Your bit of embarrassment lingers on your cheeks. He smiles, repeating his sentiment from earlier while his hand snakes its way underneath your knees, pulling you even closer to him.
“Anything, doll.” He replies, and this time you know he means it in every sense of the word.
Your hand applies the same pressure again, guiding his face to your neck, and from here he needs no further instruction. You feel the soft yet hungry impact of his lips on your neck, sucking on your skin lightly, his eyes closed as the vampire himself does what he does best.
A sigh escapes you, your fingers curling in his hair as his tongue enters the mix. His movements become more fervent as your response intensifies with each kiss. You let out a tiny yelp as you feel the fangs poke your skin, a mix of pain and pleasure enveloping you as his laugh graces your neck.
He quickly pulls back, resting his forehead on yours. “Sorry, love. Got a bit too into character there, didn’t I?” He winks, his head spinning from it all. You glance down to the mess of red displayed on his chin, admiring the work of art.
“No, it was perfect. You’re a spitting image.��� You state, nodding to the book’s visual aid you were using to create this look. You both giggle, observing each other up close.
“And you, my Mina.” Draco tucks a stray hair behind your ear, beckoning you to him again. As the fake blood dries on his skin, he takes one last look in your eyes before you decide to be equally dedicated to your role. Your voice lowers to a mutter, your breath entwining with his.
“I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips.” He pulls back at the phrase, the realization hitting him like a vivid flashback.
“Chapter three.” He declares, earning a dropped jaw from you. He really read the damn book.
Within seconds, your lips are on his, his response having won your swelling heart. His hands travel around your waist, exploring every inch of you. His whole world seemingly shatters and mends itself as you get lost in each other.
Your lips dance together in a passionate, breathtaking crescendo. Your tongue slides in, claiming his mouth as his hand lifts up to cup and support your cheek. The urgency calms, settling back into a gentle, tender kiss. A kiss so painfully soft, it acts more as an expression of his intentions with you, pointing to a time where this was all but a day dream to him.
“Shall we?” He asks, gesturing his head towards the door. You smile, reaching for the last bit of his costume: a black velvet cape. You lay it around him, snapping the clasps together in the front.
He dives in for one last kiss, tugging your lower lip with his fictitious fangs, causing your hands to land on his chest.
“You know, I think I’m rather fond of these.” He says as he helps you off his lap back to your feet. He scans you up and down, drinking you in.
“Our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor would beg to differ.” You joke, letting him spin you around, hooking an arm through his as you walk to the top of the stairs that lead down to the main hall.
You two make your way down the stairs, the guests turning in your direction in awe as cameras flash and fingers point at the prestigious Malfoy son and the beautiful girl on his arm. Draco stops abruptly on the last stair, giving you a blank, anticipatory look.
“What’s wrong, dear?” You whisper, a shadow of worry following your voice.
“You have to invite me in.” To this, you can barely control your immediate bout of laughter, your hold on him growing tighter the harder you laugh.
When you both finally come down, you release your arm from his, stepping in front of him. The crowd went eerily silent, enticed by your dramatic entrance.
Your black-gloved hand reaches out to his as you both put on a show for the entranced guests. He takes it and kisses the back of your hand, a small smirk displayed for your eyes only.
You oblige to his request, the pitch of your voice lying somewhere between innocence and a dark, desirable knowing.
“Enter freely, and of your own free will, my darling.”
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader#draco malfoy#draco x reader#draco malfoy fanfic#draco malfoy fic#slytherin fanfiction#slytherin boys fic#slytherin#draco fluff#draco malfoy fanfiction
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hey I saw you write for Tom Riddle and I was wondering if I can request dating headcanons with Hufflepuff!reader? :)
Tom Riddle x Hufflepuff!reader Dating Headcanons
Author's Note: I love the idea of Tom Riddle with someone from Hufflepuff! I always imagined him someone kind and soft, and I had so much fun writing this! Thank you for your request! <3
As a prefect, Tom knew the name, blood status, and basic background knowledge of every student in Hogwarts. While he never really used that information, he liked to have a certain advantage over anyone else.
So when he was paired with you for one of your Potions projects, he already knew what to expect: a bubbly Hufflepuff, the same year as him, half-blood, and from what he has noticed, not outstanding academic performance.
At first, Tom was not thrilled by the fact he was paired with you. Sure, you were pretty decent in potions, but he much preferred being paired with someone from his own house.
During the first 10 minutes of your lesson he has managed to keep a polite and calm façade which quickly crumbled once he gave you an instruction, which you refused to follow.
"Excuse me?", he quirked his eyebrow at you, "What do you mean "no"?" You simply lifted your shoulders, "I think you are wrong. We add the Bat Spleens at the end."
Of course, Tom was right and you blushed in embarrassment once the professor came to examine your work and pointed out this mistake. Surprisingly, Tom did not say anything, simply turning around to put all the ingredients you have used away.
While Tom hoped this was going to be the last time he had to interact with you, let alone work together, you had different plans. Feeling bad about your behavior, you decided you were going to make it up to him.
You started to volunteer to be his partner in every single class you shared together. Tom found this extremely irritating at first, but his feelings started to change once he saw how dedicated you were to the projects.
Within two weeks, you quickly became the second-best student in all your shred classes. He was never going to admit this, but he was impressed.
Naturally you started to talk more. First, it was always about the work in class. This turned to casual chats every now and then about the weather or the latest events happening at Hogwarts. Soon after these talks turned into sharing more personal stuff about your background, your home, and your childhood.
Tom was way more reserved than you with sharing information about himself, but he was a surprisingly good listener when it came to you talking about your likes, dislikes, and occasionally the latest gossip your friends have told you.
Unaware of his slowly forming attachment towards you, Tom started to seek more excuses to spend time with you. He went to the library at the same time as you and always sat at the same table too. You also started to share lunches in the backyard from time to time, as well as practice spells near the lake between classes.
While you were not in any way hiding the fact you've spent time with Tom outside the classroom, you were not keen on announcing it to your friends... yet. Tom Riddle did have a reputation as a strict prefect, who has deducted way more points from your housemates than they consider fair. They did try to avoid him when possible and often changed the direction they were walking once they spotted him in the corridor.
That's why you almost fainted that one morning when Tom came to you during breakfast, inviting you to accompany him to Hogsmeade because he needed to buy some more school supplies. He has never approached you at your table before.
He was as calm as ever while waiting for your reply, his expression serious and his hands clasped behind his back. His eyes were focused on your blushing form, completely ignoring the obvious stares from your housemates. Once you said a shy "yes" he nodded in acknowledgment, before turning around and walking back to the Slytherin's table.
While you did go to different shops to buy more supplies for your classes, you also went to grab something to eat and you couldn't help but think that the purpose of this trip was actually to take you out on a date.
During the whole time he was in his usual state of being extra polite and reserved, but he did open a little bit more to you, sharing some stories from his own childhood, as well as his plans to become a minister of Magic in the future. (obviously, he did save you the details of some other, darker plans he had)
Tom could not explain it, but spending time brought a weird feeling of comfort to him. It was almost as if his always racing thoughts calmed for a bit and let him relax. He felt safe and for the first time, he was present here and now... no thoughts about the future, about Dumbledore, or about his ambitions... it was just you and him.
Knowing he was conceived from a love potion, he knew this could not be love. So in the beginning he justified his interest in you as an interest in your potential. You were a good witch and when you focused your full attention on a task, you performed more than extraordinary.
He justified his closeness to you the same way in front of his friends once they decided to enquire why he spends so much time with you. However, he quickly shut them up once they raised the proposal that if you are really that skilled, you should join their little group focused on getting rid of every muggle witch and wizard (or at least making their life miserable). Not knowing you are a half-blood, they were surprised at how quickly Tom's aura shifted when he heard this.
"I do not want to hear such a pathetic proposal from any of you ever again. Am I clear?"
Tom never felt scared, but thinking about the mere possibility of exposing you to his darkest parts and ambitions absolutely terrified him. What would you think? Would you stop talking to him? He could not risk that.
He never officially asked you to be together, it just happened. You were on one of your study sessions near the lake when you looked up to him and suddenly the question you were about to ask him got stuck in your throat. Maybe it was the reflection of the sunlight in his dark curls or the curious look he gave you once you called his name, but something made your body move closer and your lips pressed against his.
That took him by surprise and his eyes widened, his whole body staying still. Thinking you overstepped your boundaries you pulled away about to apologize, when his hand wrapped behind your neck and pulled you back.
From this day you became a couple, despite not establishing it officially. However, it soon became pretty clear to everyone you were together, once he started to land kisses on your hand every time he greeted you and wrapped a protective hand around your waist every time some of his Slytherin friends decided to approach you.
While in public you two do keep some distance from each other, in private he slowly warms up to the idea of your touches. Small touches on the hand, kisses, you holding him in your arms... He would never voice it, but he is addicted to your touches. Never has he felt so... happy.
He never has been in a relationship or had any type of intimate contact with a female before, so he will be a little bit stiff and awkward in the beginning. Luckily for you, however, he is a very fast learner and would take note of everything that makes you smile or feel good.
He is jealous. Not the obvious type, as he will never say anything to you, but any male approaching you would definitely be seen as a potential threat with which he has to deal promptly.
Tom would be extra careful with his side activities involving dark magic and do everything in his power to keep you away from finding out. In his mind you were so pure and gentle, there was no way he would allow you to get involved in something like this.
He would still work on his goals of becoming stronger and achieving immortality. Despite him developing strong feelings towards you, he could not just throw his life dreams away. In his mind, it was perfectly reasonable to have you AND power.
All I can say is enjoy these years in Hogwarts... they would probably be the happiest ones in your relationship.
CC artwork: Nasan Hardcastle
#tom riddle imagine#tom riddle x reader#slytherin imagine#tom riddle headcanons#tom riddle#slytherin#harry potter imagine
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Obsessive!Choso♡ pt 11
pt 10 here
Content: direct cont of last chap, reader wears heels, implied reader has boobies O-O, soooo much hand holding it should be considered lewd, 2 pics to help see what I picture (underlined text), date hehe, reader wouldn't mind if Choso kidnapped them 0-0, they play battle ship, jokingly implied Choso is an escort(?), reader is kinda mean, reassurance, idk just my usual bs??? just reader nd Choso being cute man what else can I say. Word Count: 11.9k (wtf, im sorry)
(a.n) this was so long, I know, pls excuse any mistakes- I underestimated how hard it was to edit something longer than 5k words. ALSO???? take this as a celebration of me hitting 1k followers!! yayyy
Taglist: @eristi @sunaumi @ex-ria @just-pure-trash @kha-0s @iluvreinah @iamboredowo @integers @waytootiredforthisss @1arminsimp @hannas16 @chosowhore @tojicvmslut @ofalcaodacolinablue @thesharkcollector @mochipip @hotvillianapologist @ziklope @saeline @morinuu @b3llair3 @24hrnanami
⋆ ˚。 ⋆୨♡୧ ⋆ ˚。 ⋆
After you left his apartment, Choso’s mind blared with the possibility of you being kidnapped- only to find solace in the small red dot blinking on his phone. Cautious eyes watching as he expected it to move- but no. It stayed still at a restaurant right outside of campus. Choso wanted to desperately leave behind those incessant urges to follow you- to make sure you were safe.
Knowing that his day of reckoning would come. Choso knew that if he kept following you- the day would come when you’d see him. And he wanted to trust you now that things were starting to advance.
There was nothing he wanted more than to trust you, to trust that you could take care of yourself-
But everytime he’d try to ignore the blaring ‘warning’ signs in his mind. He’d remember every time he watched you walk home without caution, every horror story he read of people getting kidnapped and trafficked- and on the occasions where Choso couldn't shake off the invading thoughts, your voice would haunt his mind.
Overwhelming his brain as he tried to focus on what you were saying- your whispering voice making his brain pound in his skull as he watched that blinking dot.
Choso had to call you- if he couldn't run out of his apartment and find you- the least he could do was call you. Feeling like one of your clingy ‘friends’ as the phone rang, his pointer finger picking at the side of his thumb as he closed his eyes. All but praying for you to answer, opening his eyes as he heard the receiver being picked up,
“I was just thinking about you-” he spoke, hearing your angelic laugh ring through his ears. ‘I left like 20 minutes ago.’ you teased, “I know-” he mumbled “What're you doing?” he continued, not in the mood to dance around what he wanted to hear, ‘uh- I'm at..lunch with a friend.’ you hesitated. –
‘What're you doing, Choso?’ you asked, confused as to where this was going. Choso let out a half laugh from his chest. “M’sitting in the dark thinking about you.” he professed, pressing his hand to his forehead and hearing you laugh at the serious tone he took. ‘Sounds healthy.’ you joked back with a playful tone, closing his eyes and thinking. Your tone was kind- speaking sweetly as you normally did. But. You hesitated.
The same way you hesitate whenever you refer to him as your friend.
“M’sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice.” he sniffled, “Tell your friend I say hi.” hearing your smile when you replied a quick ‘Okay.’ at his request.
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The conversation of the date was a rough one. Sitting in his apartment as you played chess. The timing was horrible- sure. The econd week of February left an unavoidable holiday sitting in front of you. “We can wait...till after if you want.” he offered a solution as he moved a pawn.
“It's not so much the day for me.” you admitted, scanning the wooden chest pieces on your side of the checkerboard. “If you want- we can wait till after.” rephrasing his words as you watched his eyebrows furrow, “S’the same for me.” mentally chanting ‘pleasepleasepleaseplease’ as you pondered.
And with those words- the date was set for Valentines day. Which made Choso believe there really was a god from how well this turned out. And you're thinking of moving out from that house full of idiots- and into the small apartment complex as his neighbor.
For the first time in Choso’s life he felt like life dealt him a good hand.
When it came to actually thinking about what to do- he didn't want to ask you. Knowing you were indecisive on what you were eating for lunch that day- so he didn't want to plague you with planning a date he owed you. Checking his bank account and barely seeing enough for a stack of pancakes in the town diner.
Choso contemplated it. He thought about it over and over again, weighing the pros and cons in his mind before going into his closet and reaching into a pair of boots that were 3 sizes too small for him. Finding the thinning wad of cash he was looking for. The so-called ‘rainy day fund’ thinned every time he ran out of money for the month.
But this was worth it, you, were worth it. So he pulled the rubber band from the roll of cash, slowly counting the bills in his hands to be sure he didn't miss count.
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The next time you saw Choso you asked him what his plan was- “Just be ready by 7.” he smiled to himself, already picturing you on that day.
Furrowing your eyebrows before speaking, “Well-” you scoffed “what are we doing?”
“It's a surprise.” he grinned, looking down at the stupid game you called ‘Candy Land’
You sighed dramatically, “Choso, I hate surprises.” as you stared at the little pieces of plastic on the colorful board. “Atleast tell me what to wear.” you insisted, seeing his lips flash a pearly smile to you.
“Wear whatever you want- I’m sure you’ll look great.” he scoffed, holding the little piece of plastic between his fingers, making it hop as he counted the squares.
“Well if you're taking me to a nice restaurant and I'm wearing a t-shirt nd jeans- not gonna be very fun. Or if you're taking me to a horse race-” Choso laughed at your assumptions, “And I open the door in a dress and heels? Then what?” you threw the possibilities at him as he smiled at your nervousness.
“It's a first date- I wanna make a good impression.” You mused, earning a half laugh from his chest. “C’mon-” you batted your eyelashes at him, trying to convince him to tell you what he was planning.
Nodding his head at your coercion that was working better than you thought, “You're terrible.” he whispered, making your pouting grin turn into a toothy smile. “Wear something nice-” he avoided your eyes, moving the character on the squares again as you listened carefully, “Bring a coat- weather app says it's gonna be cold.” He instructed.
“Do I eat beforehand?” you grinned, seeing his jaw clench at your question, “Hmm- No.” you smiled at how a few pleads convinced him to tell you.
“How nice should I dress then?” pressing the issue with a winning smile on your face as you moved your plastic character, pleased at how easily he was to convince. “Atleast tell me that.” Choso looked at you and pondered the question, before nodding his head ‘no’. Knowing he's already said too much.
You pouted playfully at his denial, “Just a hint- just oneee.” seeing his eyes look over your face, “I’ll even settle for one word.” he thought of a word to use, staring at you as he skimmed through words in his mind.
“Wear something- striking.” he squinted as he settled on the word.
With raised eyebrows you started, “Striking huh?” in a teasing tone the choice of word he used, “Must be some first date to wear something striking.” your borderline bullying caused Choso to regret his choice of telling you anything.
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On the 13th of february, just one day before your date- Choso facetimed his baby brother Yuuji, knowing out of all 9, he was probably the best one to call about this delicate topic.
“What about this?” he holding a black knit sweater to his chest while looking at the screen, Yuuji let out a snicker- ‘If you like it-’ his tone was snide- almost mockingly as Choso tossed the knit onto his bed, staring at the pile of clothing that he had gone through.
Showing him a band t-shirt from one of his drawers and hearing Yuuji let out a small laugh before he tossed the t-shirt on his already messy bed. “You're no help.”
‘M’not here to helppp-’ Yuuji droned on, “That's precisely why I called you, Yuuji.” Choso retorted in a stern tone, not enjoying the game his brother was trying to play, slipping on a black dress shirt and doing up the tiny buttons.
‘Didn't you wear that to your graduation?’ he heard from the phone with a half laugh forming in his brother's words. “Can you tell?” straightening his back and seeing the fabric flex against his chest and shoulders, ‘Looks a lil tight buddy.’ Yuuji held back a laugh, being able to see the buttons strain and form small openings down his chest.
With an exasperated sigh he looked back to the mess on his bed, “I don't know what to wear.”
‘The dark navy button down you wore to parent teacher conferences and black slacks.’ Yuuji spat quickly, ‘Hey when am I gonna meet this person?’ Smiling as he changed the topic, “When you stop being so nosy.” Choso muttered, looting through his closet and finding the button up Yuuji was talking about.
Unbuttoning the taut buttons and slipping off the small shirt. Tossing it onto the pile of discarded options before slipping on the better fitting dress shirt, doing up the small buttons and looking in the mirror, ‘I'm not nosy-’ Yuuji laughed, ‘Excuse me for trying to find out who’s involved in my big brothers life-’ enunciating the words. Attempting to make Choso feel bad for scolding him.
“If you ever come out here- I'll introduce them to you.” he looked at the top two buttons that were undone, trying to decide whether or not to do them.
‘I'm on the next flight out.’ Yuuji quipped, making Choso scoff.
“No Yuuji. Go to school.” Choso demanded, knowing he was skipping more than a handful of classes. ‘One day I’ll fly out there and you won't be able to say no to me till I’m standin’ at your door.’ Yuuji threatened, Choso offered only a sarcastic ‘haha’ in response.
‘How you got a date before I got a girlfriend is still insane to me.’ he pressed, “Why’s that Yuuji?” rolling up the sleeves of the dress shirt as he looked in the mirror.
Yuuji laughed- knowing just what to do to annoy his older brother, ‘Cause you're so… weird.’ Yuuji struggled to say the words through a bully-like smile, “For your information- brother of the year,” Choso snapped playfully, which surprised Yuuji since Choso was never the type to banter- not because he didn't want to. But his quips would always come out in stutters, never being able to come up with smart replies fast enough.
Choso smiled as he recalled your slurred words,“They like that I'm ‘strange’.” Yuuji chirped from the phone, ‘They tell you that?’ with a sarcastic tone.
Looking at Yuuji with a cocky smile, “They did.” earning for his baby brother to raise his eyebrows in feigned shock, ‘The world is so backwards.’ he scoffed before asking more questions about you.
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Choso wanted to make tonight special, he wanted to make this the last first date you ever went on.
So as he looked at himself in the mirror, putting on his many rings and muttering words of encouragement to himself, hands shaking as he rolled up the sleeves of his dark navy blue dress shirt. Trying not to nitpick any detail that he didn't like about the reflection staring back at him- whispering that even if he was ‘strange and off putting’ you still liked him.
Side eyeing the clear bowl shaped vase that held three white lilies, Choso felt nerves eating away at him as his eyes flashed down to his phone that lit up with a message from you.
‘lmk when ur outside :)’ your message read. If only you knew Choso’s stomach was in knots. A specific kind of anxiety he had never felt before, it almost felt like how your stomach churned while in line for a scary rollercoaster for the first time.
He quickly typed, ‘im omw now’ with trembling thumbs.
So as he put on the torn up carhartt jacket he relied on whenever it was cold, he straightened his back as he held the clear vase in his hand- Choso hesitated to turn the doorknob of his apartment. Thinking on if this was a good idea- a million doubts racing in his mind.
But he only needed one thought to pull him from his doubts. All he needed was to remember you to open the door.
The walk across the lively campus full of people carrying bouquets of red roses and overcompensating stuffed animals made him think that maybe the three lilies were not enough- Till the realization that he was actually taking you out on Valentine's day hit, which only made him even more nervous, the pondering thoughts of ‘am I making a fool of myself?’ making him overheat in the heavy jacket. Choso must've taken it off and put it back on 2 or 3 times before he reached your neighborhood.
Standing on your rundown porch, thinking about ringing the doorbell. Those doubts daring to creep back into his mind, but his hesitant finger pressed the button anyway. Holding the bowl in both hands as he heard muffled shouts through the heavy wood door. He watched the brass handle turn before the door cracked open- his eyes being granted the honor of seeing you.
‘Breathtaking’ was the word his mind formulated once he felt air fill his lungs again.
Choso swore that every single time he looked at you, it felt like the first time. But this time- this, took the cake. This would be the mental image he’d remember every time he thought of you. The nerves and unease he felt in his chest melted away when he saw the warmth of your smile.
His eyes blinked quickly- almost in disbelief as he looked at you, so love drunk it hurt his chest a little.
And you, bent to the side and fiddling with the tiny buckle of your heel. To Choso it felt like you came straight out of his teenage dreams as you looked at him.
Smiling as you uttered the word that was stuck in his throat, with a hurried smile you spoke, “Heyy-” before placing your foot back onto the ground as you stepped back with a quiet gasp, looking at the bowl in his hands. “Come in!” you urged sweetly, seeing his eyes scan your frame, darting to your living room that was full of your gawking roommates and their friends. ‘An anti-valentines day movie night’ you called it.
“Thought I told you to tell me you were outside-” you grinned, standing at the entryway of the house. ‘God, you are haunting.’ You looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to reply. Unknowing your roommates were ignoring the movie on the living room tv. Furrowing your eyebrows as you looked at the round vase in his hands.
“T-these are for you.” He muttered, his heart racing at an abominable speed by seeing you grin kindly before your smile fell.
It turned into a grimace, “I have something for you too-” looking back up at the stairs you practically fell down when the doorbell rang. Turning back around to face him. Taking the bowl from his extended hands with a prolonged touch, “They're lovely. Thank you.” you smiled, “Stay right here- I'll be right back.” You hushed, turning around and dashing up the stairs.
Choso stood at the doorway, almost mournful knowing the sight of you that greeted him would only exist in his memory now. Fiddling with his rings as he felt the people's eyes burn through him. Unintelligible whispers from the prying gazes. Gulping as he heard your bedroom door slam shut, urging footsteps on the ground as you hurried down the stairs. Both hands held behind your back as you hid his present.
A silly smile on your lips as you looked at him, the thin heel of your shoes clacking on the tile as you stood before him, reaching your arm around as you a box with a small bow on top. Raising his eyebrows and looking at the box holding a pair of white glass plates inside. “Plates?” he smiled defeated at the present as you tried to suppress a small laugh.
Your shoulders moved in a silent laugh as you watched his eyes flash back up to you, “Yes. Plates.” seeing him exhale through his nose, amused at what a coincidence it was that you bought him them.
“Thank you.” He mumbled softly, already being able to picture using them.
Choso held the box in one hand, looking at you with adoring eyes, you cleared your throat, “Striking enough?” you sneered proudfully. He practically choked on air at your question.
He took a second to look at you, trying to find the correct thing to say, “You look beautiful.” he breathed softly, words that came straight from his heart. Mentally he was shouting any word he thought of when he looked at you. Words that are not to be said on a ‘first date’, confessions of yearning love and descriptive words of how he felt about you.
‘Captivating.’ Choso thought as he admired your features that were accentuated by the warm lighting, almost casting a glow on your skin.
You felt the warmth in your cheeks trail to the tip of your nose at the compliment. ‘Thank y-’ you mouthed silently, being interrupted by a loud over exaggerated cough coming from the living room.
Squinting your eyes as you turned around to face the source, “When did you say you'd be home?” one of your roommates spouted from the couch.
“I didn't.” You spoke with a raised tone laced with irritation, scoffing before walking into the living room. Focused on your coat that was draped on the edge of the couch.
Their eyes looked up at you as though you owed them something, “Where's he taking you?” desperate to keep you home.
You raised your eyebrows before you spoke, “No idea.”, reaching your hands into the pockets of your coat to be sure you had what you needed.
Picking it up from the couch before turning around and speed walking back to Choso, looking at him with an urgent look on your face. “Let's go.” you whispered as you reached for the doorknob, “It's not safe to go to an undisclosed location with a stranger-!” your roommate shouted as you stepped through the doorway. Sighing as you pulled the door behind you.
“Sorry about that.” you breathed, inhaling the cold air as you scanned the cloudy overcast with squinted eyes and creased eyebrows.
Choso inhaled sharply before he spoke, “Was that-”
“Yes, that was my den mother.” with a scoff, Choso parted his lips in a silent wince as you slipped your coat onto your exposed shoulders. Reaching a hand down and raising your ankle halfway to tweak with the strap of your heel again.
“Lead the way.” you smiled as Choso took a step forward onto the rickety stairs.
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“Can you tell me where you're taking me now?” You sounded almost defeated as you walked side by side on the pavement. Choso made sure that he was on the open side of the sidewalk, walking between you and the potential risk.
Quiet streets derived from people made the walk peaceful, the sunless sky causing everything to look pale blue- almost as though you stepped through a blue tinted filter.
The weather was fresh- cold enough for a coat but not freezing the way it was a few days ago. A small breeze would have made you regret your choice in what you wore- your calves and ankles exposed to the frigid air.
Looking over at him as he held the boxed plates, with a smug grin on his lips, “We have to go pick something up first.” you hummed at Choso’s denial as his rundown oxford-esque shoes stomped on the ground.
Seeing an opportunity to wear down that smugness, you looked at him with an unashamed smile. “You look beautiful too, Choso.” circling back to his compliment that was interrupted by your roommate. He looked over to you- not shocked but surprised at your choice of words, despite the gloomy weather- you looked warm in his eyes. As though the sun was shining and it was the middle of summer.
He sighed as he felt your shoulder brush against his, “I don't think I’ve ever been called that.” he admitted honestly with a flustered smile.
You laughed, “I can call you something else-” with an enthusiastic grin, looking up into the sky as you thought of the words to use, “How about- scenic. Or uh, captivating-” watching the blush on his cheeks trail onto his exposed ear.
Choso’s teeth stuttered as he heard you- trying to silence the sudden compliment, “My name is fine.” He insisted with a nervous laugh, trying his best to ignore your gaze.
You raised your eyebrows, “Are you sure? I can keep going-”
“Ju-” he breathed, “Just Choso is fine.” he implored, his heart racing at an unimaginable speed.
You were pleased with his stutter, “Okay. ‘Just Choso’, where are you taking me?” grazing the back of your palm against his as you walked, his eyes on the ground watching the lines on the pavement come and go.
Choso sighed, “I already told you- We. Are going. To pick. Something up.” He paused between the words as though that was an answer, flinching when you bumped your knuckles into his as you strolled beside him.
“Don't take that tone with me, mister.” you teased playfully, holding your knuckles against his as you saw him perk a smile.
“Sorry-” he grinned as he looked over at you sweetly, “We’re gonna go pick something up.” he corrected himself, smiling at the sugared words, not moving his hand from yours- if anything pressing it closer.
With a sigh you took the initiative and interlocked your fingers with his, your cool hand icing his warm palm, “If you're gonna kidnap me- let me know. Promise I won't fight back or anything.” you joked, making Choso shiver at your accusation.
With a grimace he hesitated the words he was about to say, “That is a terrible and equally horrifying thing to say,” he spoke your name in a reprimanding tone.
“I mean in the way that life sucks right now, and you're a pretty cool person. And you're nice, and tolerate me.” squinting your eyes at the sudden frost-like breeze puff against your bare shins.
Your circling hum on the side of his pointer finger made this conversation suddenly very difficult for him to focus on. “Just don't put me in a glass cage. That's all I ask.” You continued the unsettling topic as you squeezed his hand.
Choso laughed at the reference, “You see,” being able to conjure the words in his mind. “I had reason to worry about you getting kidnapped.” he murmured, mentally damning you for putting that thought into his head again.
“That's different though.” you hummed, tilting your head towards him. “Of course if it was a stranger I’d fight tooth and nail-” a playful grin on your lips, watching his eyebrows slowly pull upwards. “But, if it was you?” you continued, feeling his palm subtly start to clam against yours.
Choso looked over at you- waiting for you to finish what you were saying. The troubled expression on his face made you smile at how easy it was to fluster him.
Shaking away the words in your mind, the sky dimming as you clutched onto his hand, you let out a ‘tsk’ at the thought, “Now that would be something quite forward to say.” you grinned playfully.
‘Your smile hides your mischievousness a little too well- I think you're just being cruel at this point.’ he thought as he looked at your profile. A proud smile adorning your lips.
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“A parking garage?” you asked, twitching your ankle as you watched Choso input a security code into the metal receiver.
Choso sucked his teeth with a smile, “Did you expect us to walk for the entire night?” looking down to your shoe that was clearly bothering you.
“You have a car?” you asked as you watched the metal gate creak open.
He winced, “Technically no-” hand in hand as he led you through the barrier of the two story garage. Walking up the sloped concrete as you looked at the dusty cars.
“I didn't even know this place existed.” You muttered, eyeing the gray walls illuminated by old yellow lights. Swinging your connected hands softly as Choso laid eyes upon the black car cover he hoped was waiting for him.
“Let's hope it still runs.” he joked as you let go of his hand.
“Hold these for me won't you?” he whispered, handing you the cardboard box as you tapped your heeled foot on the ground, causing Choso to look down at your ankle once more.
Placing his hands on the front end of the cover, yanking it off as you laid eyes on the two seater maroon colored classic. Almost perfectly polished as you raised your eyebrows in shock, his hands balling up the black car cover and placing it on the hood haphazardly.
He inhaled almost painfully, “It was my father’s-” as he inserted the key into the driver's side and turned it, unlocking the doors before walking to the passenger side and opening the door with a hand held out to you.
Taking the boxed plates from your hands and placing them on the roof of the car, holding your hand as you eased into the vehicle.
Connected matte black seats meeting your eyes as you eased into the seat. Silent as he nervously tried explaining why he had the car, “H-he left it behind- and I didn’t wanna leave it to be sold.” He smiled, looking down at you as he held the frame of the door.
“So you brought it with you?” You hummed, fiddling with your hands on your lap and looking at the interior.
“I stole it- yes.” he admitted without shame, leaning on the frame of the opened door.
Pulling off his jacket as your hands reached out to take it from him, a small ‘Thank you’ fell from his lips as you held it in your lap. His lips parted in a grin, looking at your expression as you pinched your eyebrows together. Reaching your hand down to the bothersome buckle that squeezed your ankle a little too tightly.
Your fingers struggled to fix the issue as he watched you. Flashing your eyes up at him with an awkward giggle before you spoke, “When you rang the doorbell I accidentally pulled the-” You sighed, trying to pull the black strap from the bothersome buckle, “-the strap too tight.”
Choso smiled before mouthing an understanding ‘oh’
“May I?” he asked, frustration starting to seep from you and into him by just watching your aimless attempts. You eyed him, lowering himself to his knee, the other propped up as you turned your body to face him.
Suddenly all too aware of the veins on the tops of his hands, the light arm hair on his outer forearms that were exposed from his rolled up sleeves.
His calloused hand held open awaiting you to lift your dangling foot to his palm. Without a word, you lifted your ankle. Choso delicately placed his hand onto the back of your calf, your cold skin warming in his palm as he guided the back of the heel to rest atop his bent knee. Trailing his fingertips mindlessly on your skin as he gently unbuckled the silver rivet of the shoe.
Feeling the instant relief as he slid the buckle into a neighboring notch. A warm blush forming on your cheeks as you watch his painted hands trail gentle touches on your skin.
“There?” he mumbled, looking up at you as his thumb settled on the protruding bone of your ankle. Only offering a blushed ‘Mhm’ from your dry throat as he laced the rest of the tiny strap beneath the metal. Your hand was clutched on the edge of the seat- if your grip tightened any more you’d scratch the pristine leather.
Choso gently placed his palm back onto your calf, easing your leg back down gently before he stood up again. “Now for the moment of truth.” he winced, taking a step back and leaving you with your feet on the ground.
You inhaled sharply as his hand rested on the door again, waiting for you to sit correctly. You turned your body back to face the windshield, he closed the door for you- reaching his hand on the roof of the car for the plates before walking to the drivers side.
With how easy it was to fluster him or make him nervous, you were unsure why out of the two of you- you were the one who was on the verge of hyperventilating from the innocent act of kindness. In your mind an obstacle presented itself; how you were expected to keep your composure for the rest of the evening.
Your hand dared to tremble as you placed his heavy jacket on the center of the benched seat. Some kind of desperate attempt at a wall to keep you from acting on your self-indulgent thoughts.
Hearing a small thud as he placed the plates on the roof again. The driver's door opened smoothly, Choso eased into the seat as he placed his hand on the wheel with the keys in hand, leaving his door open with one foot on the ground.
Choso cleared his throat as he turned the ignition, raising his eyebrows in hopes the car would turn on. A wave of relief washed over him when he heard the loud roar come from the muffler. Quiet music playing from the staticky radio breaking the silence.
He stepped out of the car once more, walking to the hood to grab the car cover he carelessly folded. Your eyes followed him as he slid the pair of plates from the roof and walked to the back of the car, your shoulders tense while trying to breathe.
Flinching when you heard the trunk pound shut, clearing your throat when you saw him walk back to the opened door.
He settled into the driver's seat once more, mindlessly picking up your attempt at a wall and placing his jacket onto the ledge of the rearview window, leaving nothing but air to keep you separate from him.
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The drive was silent, the quiet radio music easing the tension in the air only you felt. Hands in your lap as you fiddled with your thumbs, Choso was unaware of your tense shoulders till he stopped at a red light.
Looking over at you- your head locked forward and sitting very, very far away. The look on your face though, furrowed eyebrows and unblinking eyes, lips pressed tightly together as though you were in deep thought- that's what made him realize something was wrong.
Replaying the last 10 minutes- not recalling a single snide comment or any attempts at flirting since he started driving.
He murmured your name- trying to pull you out of the thoughts that were whirling in your mind at that moment. Blinking your eyes and turning your head slightly, looking at Choso’s face that was illuminated by the red light. “Something wrong?”
You nodded your head ‘no’ intertwining your hands harshly together. Choso looked down to your latched hands, then back up to you with a perked brow- He didn't need to speak, you knew what he was asking with the look on his face.
You inhaled, trying to find something clever to say- “M’trying to keep my hands to myself.” you murmured, looking out of the window, gathering he was driving into the neighboring city as your knees pointed to the door along with your head.
‘...hands to yourself..?’ Choso mentally repeated your words, not knowing why you had to try to, when you were never shy about it before.
Air caught in your throat at the realization you said that louder than you were expecting, “In a- a non creepy way.” you reiterated, scrunching your eyes together at the stutter in your words.
Mentally you were cursing the stupid old traffic light that refused to turn green, even with the lack of cars around- it still beamed red. “Did I do something?” he asked, worried he offended you in some way.
You sighed, “Yes-”, refusing to look at him, “Yes, you did something.” you muttered as you looked into the glass, staring at him through the reflection.
“I’m sorry- I didn't mean to-” he started apologizing unknowing what he did- but it still felt like he had to.
You let out a laugh that rang through his ears in the sound of a hymn, “You don't even know what you did.” corners of your lips twitching upwards, turning your knees over to him as he looked forward at the now green light- accelerating slowly as you scanned his side profile.
“Must've been something worth an apology if you- of all people are keeping your hands to yourself.” he joked slyly. Only he meant to think those words- not actually say them to you.
You squinted your eyes at his banter, “Oh haha-” you grinned sarcastically, planting your hand onto the seat, “I'll make sure to keep ‘em to myself from now on if you feel that way.” You played, feeling your confidence soak back into your words.
Choso turned his head slightly over to you, low eyes knowing you wouldn't be able to keep that declaration, dropping his hand from the bottom of the wheel as the other held onto the side of it, placing it on the black leather to tempt you. Suddenly the distance you set between you too was too evident- too far, his eyes were forward- watching the road.
You gulped, scanning the top of his veiny hand, slowly you shifted closer to him.
Now close enough that he could sense you, “Choso?” you whispered, earning for a small hum to leave his throat, a childish smile on your lips “Can I hold your hand?” you spoke in a whisper- Choso furrowed his eyebrows at the question.
A gentle grin on his lips, “You don't need to ask me.” he whispered back, looking forward as he heard alarms and bells ring in his head from excitement.
So as you scooched closer to Choso, he held his hand out for you. His heart couldn't help but beat at an alarming pace, so close your thigh was pressed against his. Your knees pointed in his direction as he felt his palm threaten to sweat.
You slumped the tiniest bit into the matte seat, looking up at him as you gently took his hand into yours, interlocking your fingers with his as your other hand caged the back of his palm.
Both of your hands overwhelmed his tender one, smiling as you leaned the side of your head onto his bicep. Resting your joined hands on the seam where his thigh ended and yours began.
“I've always liked your hands.” you mumbled, caressing your thumbs on his skin as he drove- he was grateful the sky was darkening. Cause he was so sure the blush he was sporting on his cheeks was starting to roam down his chest.
Choso’s breathing hitched- catching in his throat, “My h-hands?” feeling his heart pound in his chest. And for the foot that wasn't on the gas to start bouncing nervously.
You giggled, “Yeah, your hands.” you hummed, unaware of the state you were pushing him to. “They're so pretty.” you complimented him with a tone only heard in his frantic dreams.
And as you scanned his jeweled hand engulfed by your own- the veins that trailed up his forearm beneath his pale skin proudly, you smiled as you pressed your thumb down onto a blood filled ridge on the top of his hand. Stopping the blood flow from the prominent vein.
His mind was whirring in his skull- had you said anything else he would've had to pull over to catch his breath.
But you didn't, no you only traced mindless doodles on his skin softly. ‘This has to be some kind of attempt on my life.’ his brain managed as the scent of your perfume infiltrated his nose.
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Though he was eternally grateful to be so- (some would say too close) to you, he felt his lungs able to breathe with a set pace once he found a parking spot in front of the building he was looking for. Streets full of couples as the moon started arising. Choso exhaled expectantly, switching the ignition off and feeling your grasp on his hand loosen.
“We’re here.” he practically choked out. You furrowed your eyebrows and looked onto the street, watching the people walking past the lit up glass doors.
“What's here?” you grinned, straightening your back and looking at Choso, you were so very close to his face. The light on the roof of the car made it very obvious that he was blushing.
“A uh-” he inhaled the air between you, “A museum.” his shoulders were tense, looking from your eyes to the curve of your nose- darting back and forth from the cupid's bow of your lips back up to your eyes. You smiled hearing his hesitant tone- relishing the sight of pure nerves flooding in his pupils from how close you were.
With an amused smile you snorted softly, “Ouu you want to kiss me sooo bad- I can see it-” you teased, earning for Choso to look away from you in embarrassment.
And as you pulled your hands from his, he opened his door, mumbling small curses, racing to the passenger side- reminding himself that he needs to be polite and well-mannered.
As he pulled your door open he held a hand out to you, giving you a brace to step out from the old car.
The sight of your hand in his as you stepped from the car elegantly made one thing click in his mind. Choso felt in his heart that he would be more than happy- elated even, to do this with you every weekend till you were both old and wrinkly.
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Hand in hand as you walked past the white walls. Stopping at any piece of art that caught your attention.
Your eyebrows pulled tight as you looked at a piece painted black with glimmers of red. Choso’s eyes were on your profile as you examined the art, “What do you see?” he mumbled, looking back to the large canvas. Unable to understand how you could see meaning in a few colors.
You sighed, tilting your head and staring at the streaks “It seems sad.” you whispered as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Like the person who painted this was distressed.”
Choso didn't see what you saw- he saw a lazy attempt at modern art- “You can see it in the brush strokes-” you leaned over to him as you pointed to the seemingly violent brush strokes. He tried to see what you saw, “In the way they decided to use a little bit of red.” You continued, looking over to his lost expression.
When you walked into the room of sculptures you stared at an old wooden chair placed on a small platform with a harsh spotlight on it, “Performer.” you read the words on the silver plate at the bottom, “What do you see Choso?” you repeated his question as he stared at the chair.
He squinted his eyes before speaking, “I think it's a chair-”, feeling your elbow shove him gently. He sighed, “Well, the chair is old, and the spotlight is on it almost in a mocking way.” Choso expressed his depiction of the piece. “And the title signifies that the chair is a piece to be gawked at.” he muttered as you smiled at his intune thoughts.
He huffed, almost feeling like he said too much. “You?” he broke your silence as he looked back at you.
“I think it's just a chair.” you mocked with a perked smile.
On the other end of the room there was a wired sculpture, if you looked in the right angle you'd be able to see the projected image within the silver wires.
You were tilting your head trying to make out the image, “I think it's a face?” you whispered as Choso furrowed his eyebrows, “Or two?” you squinted your eyes as you finally saw the image with a gratified exhale.
Choso huffed- frustrated from how tedious this was. “How are you seeing anything?” he asked frustrated as his neck started to strain from how long he was tilting it.
You dropped his hand- taking a step behind him and placing your hands on his shoulders, “Here.” you hummed, moving him to where you previously stood. “Lean down a little-” you whispered, you weren't able to see it- but his eyes were wide and his cheeks were tingling from your guidance.
And as he lowered himself, you placed your hands onto the side of his head- angling it softly to this side as he allowed you to. You stood behind him- close enough for him to be able to feel your breath wisp on his nape. “Can you see it?” you whispered- Choso felt goosebumps form on his arms at your soft tone.
You slid your hands from the side of his head- seeing him stay in place as he looked at the sculpture. “Can you?” you whispered as he raised himself back to stand up straight.
He looked at you with a horrified look on his face, “Yeah I can.” he muttered before you took his hand in yours again.
And when you found the room he specifically chose this museum for- he lit up with a smile.
“Art history-” you read the plaque on the wall.
Choso led you into the dimly lit room, “Finally some real art.” he muttered before turning the corner. Standing before the grand in size portraits- he looked at them in silence. Only you didn't find the same fascination in the old paintings as he did- you found the excitement that gleamed in his eyes more interesting than the dusty art works.
With every piece he knew, he'd tell you the tragedy behind them, star crossed lovers and small comments of the trageties- “Why are you looking at me like that?” he paused his previous sentence, looking at you worried that he was talking too much.
You offered a timid smile, circling your thumb on his skin lovingly. Reaching a pinkie up to his temple and brushing away a loose strand from his temple, “I can't look at you now?” you murmured playfully, his eyes glimmered with shock at the sudden contact against his face.
Choso diverted his eyes from your gaze, looking down to his shoes before mumbling, “You can't look at me like- that.” he felt his heart pound in his chest recalling the expression on your face with closed eyes.
You giggled at his words, “Why not?” you pressed, being able to feel his hand tighten its grip on yours.
He sighed, looking back up to your seemingly intoxicated face. Choso parted his lips, daring to say the first words that came to his mind. You raised your eyebrows and gripped his hand to urge him to give you a reason. “Cause I don't know what it means.” he retorted quietly.
You scoffed, an amused smile on your lips as you nodded your head. Not knowing how he could be so insightful in some ways and completely blind when it came to this.
Your eyes scanned his features, “How many times do I have to tell you before you get it?” you quipped, seeing his eyes pool with confusion at your question.
“I like you so much, Cho.” you whispered, seeing his eyebrows furrow harshly at the shortened version of his name. “I stare at you because I like you.” You assured, “I laugh at everything you say because I like you.”, watching his eyes blink down in timidness. In his mind, actually processing your words took a lot of effort.
“Can I be honest?” you whispered, seeing his lips mouth an ‘okay.’ to your question. “I don’t think I've ever liked someone in the way I like you.” Choso exhaled at your words- mumbling a ‘stop’ as you smiled.
You exhaled, “I'm being serious. You're just-” you started, only for Choso to raise your hand and place it flat onto his chest. His eyes trembled as he looked at you with a stern but pained expression. You raised your eyebrows at how fast his heart pounded in his chest, explaining why he asked you to stop without words.
Your lips curled into a sweet smile, pulling his hand that was wrapped around your wrist, holding your hand flat on his chest as you led his hand towards your exposed cleavage in attempts to show him how fast your own heart was beating.
Only for his eyes to widen and pull his hand from your grasp in shock- all but clutching his imaginary pearls as he hissed your name. Mortified to even think of touching you there.
A small laugh left your throat at how he exclaimed your name. You were kind enough to not attempt to do that again- fearing his heart might go into cardiac arrest from being skin to skin. Instead you pulled your hand from his chest, guiding his opposite one onto your wrist and pressing his index and middle finger onto the pulse in your wrist.
His eyebrows furrowed as he felt your racing pulse against his two fingers, “You make me just as nervous.” you whispered softly, smiling as he parted his lips.
Choso softened his gaze, “You do a great job at hiding it.” he whispered back, recalling every moment his heart palpitated in his chest- wondering if all those times your heart was racing too.
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“I think this is the first official date I've ever been on-” you smiled, now standing outside. Thinking how stupid it was that the exit was on the other end of the building.
Choso furrowed his eyebrows, “First, first date you mean?” he clarified your statement assumingly.
You scoffed with a smile, “No, the only date I've ever been on.” seeing his expression fall in surprisement.
Choso nodded his head as though that proclamation didn't make his heart burst in his chest, “Besides the times where we'd hang out after class- but I think this one is the first official one.” you grinned, pulling his hand with you as you turned to start walking back to the car.
‘The times we’d hang out..?’ he thought, recalling the afternoons you'd spend with him.
He inhaled quickly, “Those were dates?” he urged with a horrified look on his face, scanning at your profile. You looked at him as you stepped slowly.
Raising your eyebrows almost amused, “Well when two people like each other- and admit it to each other,” You taunted playfully, turning the corner of the sidewalk, “If both are consenting parties-” you continued your mocking tone as Choso listened to your words, to be sure he wouldn't miss hearing what you were saying.
“They start dating.” you teased, looking at him with a smile full of satisfaction.
In his mind, he replayed every moment from when he admitted he liked you till now- reevaluating them at the new information. With warm cheeks that were grazed by the cold air, “Are we..” he started, his palm becoming clammy against yours at the words he dared to spout. “Dating?” He asked, looking at you in a new light at that word.
No longer were you a person he liked- or a school friend. He was a person you were dating.
A soft chuckle left your throat at the dramatized words, “Don't tell me you just wanted to be a situationship?” you asked with feigned offense, furrowing your eyebrows as he listened to your words.
His face fell, trying to process the word you just said, “What is a situationship?” he asked almost scornfully at the unknown word as his grasp in your hand tightened. A sweet laugh left your throat at his question, not even being too sure of what that word meant yourself.
“Cho- are we dating or not?” you asked- turning the question around on him. His face went pink, both at the confrontation and the nickname- looking at you as though you hung the stars in the sky. You raised your eyebrows waiting for his reply.
Choso tried to think- he tried using all 4 fried brain cells in his mind to formulate a proper sentence, but all his trembling lips could muster was one word;
“Yes.”
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The walk back to the car was silent- You were pleased with how much he blushed, how you practically forced him to confirm that your goal was achieved.
Choso, on the other hand, had a mortified look on his face. The fear of taking the first step was long gone since the first 3 steps were already taken unbeknownst to him. In his mind he started seeing every possibility, every negative thing that could wait for him 10 miles down the road. Choso knew he should've been elated- but he couldn't help the heavy feeling in his chest as he thought of the future.
Staring at him lovingly, “Where to now?” you broke the silence as he opened the car door for you, holding your hand with trembling fingers as you eased into the vehicle.
Choso hurried to the other side of the car, taking a deep breath before getting into it. Thinking how everything is different now- he drove this car as your friend and now he was driving it as a person you were dating.
You scooched back to the spot you previously sat in, “I hope you're hungry-” he started, his cheeks tingling as he felt your hand interlock with his again, “God– I am starving.” You interrupted, looking over to him with an enticing grin.
Choso smiled to himself, “I have a fridge full of groceries waiting for us.” he tried ignoring your tracing thumbs as he put the car in drive.
You reached a hand over and pushed a few stray strands of hair that blocked his profile from you. “You gonna cook for me?” You hummed sweetly, seeing the blush on his cheeks deepen.
A small ‘Mhm’ left his lips as he pulled out of the street parking, you looked at him with adoring eyes, intoxicated on how close you were to him. “Those plates were definitely a good idea huh?” you asked smugly.
He sighed with a smile, “Yes. They were a phenomenal idea.” he fed into your boastful tone.
You looked at him, admiring that he cared enough to agree with you,“You’re so-” you hesitated as you tried to find the word, “So,” Choso was smiling as he awaited your words. You gritted your teeth- feeling cuteness aggression, “It's like I made you in a computer.” You smiled, hearing a hearty laugh from his chest.
The entire ride back to the campus- you didn't let go of his hand. The cringey love songs played on the radio quietly, with any song you recognized you’d tell him a memory from your upbringing. Grazing the tips of your fingers along his larger ones.
Choso made sure to listen to every single word you'd speak into the air- “M’sorry I know I'm talking a lot-” you sighed, noticing he wasn’t replying to your words.
Hee scoffed, “Don't apologize- I like listening to you talk.” flashing his eyes over to you as you nodded your head in disbelief at how smoothe he could be at times.
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You didn't check your phone the entire time. So you were happily relishing in the peace you felt being in the presence of him.
Walking past the entryway of his apartment, reaching into your coat pocket and taking it off as Choso reached for it in your hand, hanging it along with his on the coat rack.
You checked the stupid piece of aluminum, widening your eyes at the countless messages from your overbearing roommate, and checking the time. 9:05 pm as you heard Choso set down the boxed plates onto the kitchen counter in front of you.
You sighed as you pulled out a barstool from the wall, furiously typing as Choso gently peeled off the tape from the box.
Looking across the kitchen counter at you as you settled on the barstool with furrowed eyebrows. Scanning your bugged expression, “Everything okay?” he pulled you from your thoughts.
You sighed as you shut off the phone, placing it onto the counter faced down as you looked at him- completely defeated. “I’m moving out.” you claimed with a deadpan tone.
Choso looked at you from the cabinet, “What now?” he smiled as he reached for a pan.
“I have like- 50 texts and 20 missed calls from my-” you were interrupted, Choso finished your sentence, ‘roommate’, watching as you huffed a sweet smile at how he knew what you were ranting about. “Regardless, I'm moving- even if I live on the street for a few days. I can't stay at that house anymore.” You sighed, watching Choso turn on two knobs on the stove.
Looking at him with defeated eyes, “You won't live on the street.” he assured, turning around and opening the fridge.
You rested your elbow on the counter, placing your chin in your hand as you watched him set various small containers of already prepared herbs onto the counter. “At the end of the day people really are disappointing aren't they?” you asked with a sigh, watching as he pulled out two pre-marinated chicken breasts from the fridge.
Choso decided to ignore your previous statement- not wanting to sullen the mood even more, “Are they like this with your other roommates?” he asked with a smile, drizzling oil into the pan. Going to lower the heat on the small steel pot on the back burner before moving to stand in front of you.
You watched as he slowly pulled his jewelry from his fingers, “No- if anything they enable their behavior.” eyeing the silver metal on the counter, your proclamation earning a sigh from Choso.
He noticed your eyes following his hands, furrowing his eyebrows at your gawking. “You need better roommates.” he declared, turning to the sink and washing his hands as you reached for the abandoned metal he left on the counter.
As you rolled the warm metal in your hand you sighed, “I need to move out is what I need-” watching as he dried his hands. You smirked to yourself, “If I was your neighbor would you cook for me everyday?” You asked- half joking as he looked up from the searing pan.
Choso smiled at your question, picking up one of the raw chickens, “If you were my neighbor I’d cook for you anytime you asked.” he flashed his eyes up at you before placing the white meat into the pan, a loud sizzle coming from the action.
You rested your elbows onto the counter with a hearty giggle, “You say that now- But when m’knocking at your door 2-3 times a day- you can't complain.” you warned, watching as he let out a half laugh.
He picked up metal tongs from the utensil holder, “If you knock on my door 2-3 times a day- I won't have any reason to complain,” he spoke your name in reassurance as he flipped the grilling chicken on the other side.
You laughed to yourself, not being able to sense any nervousness or hesitation in his words anymore, almost as though he gained more confidence in the past half hour.
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As he plated the cooked chicken, you watched with a grumbling stomach. Almost drooling as he scooped a decent portion of mashed potatoes onto the brand new white plate, “God- that looks so good.” You bit your lip, reaching your hands to the plate.
“Wait-” he held onto the edgeas he reached for a pre-cut lemon- squeezing it gently as the citrus glazed the browned chicken.
With a warm smile he spoke, “There- now you can eat it.” looking down to the beautifully plated meal, you sighed. Grabbing onto the edge of the plate and pulling it towards you.
You looked back to him, “I can wait for you-” you muttered, hoping he'd say no.
He exhaled, smiling as he watched your eyes full of hunger flicker from him back down to your serving. “It's okay- you eat.” He assured, watching the smile return on your lips as you picked up the metal fork placed on the side of the plate.
Choso watched you expectantly, the fork scraping against the plate as you sliced into the meat-piercing the chunk you cut off and lifting it to your lips, looking at him as you placed the fork into your mouth. The warmth from the grilled chicken landing on your tongue as you pulled the fork from your lips- leaving nothing on it with a sigh from your nose.
Chewing a few times as you closed your eyes, savoring the flavor between every bite.
You swallowed, opening your eyes and nodding your head, “You're insane.” you mumbled, looking at his expression unchanged- not knowing if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Please finish cooking so I can eat more-” you joked, placing the fork onto your plate, he scoffed at the words that seemed like a compliment.
And as you asked, he plated his own serving, not with a quarter as much love nor care- but it was infront him as he leaned down to take a bite, assuring you it was fine for you to continue eating.
He hummed as he placed the fork down onto his plate, “I didn't even offer you anything to drink-” he scoffed to himself reaching to the cupboard above his head and pulling down two glass cups.
You opened your mouth- hesitating to speak as you watched him turn to the fridge, “Not to sound alcohol-dependent or anything-” you grinned as he peeked back to you. “But do you…?” you insinuated with half lidded eyes.
Choso sighed, “I don't. I have water and orange juice.” he mumbled, knowing exactly what you were trying to do- but he knew in his bones it wouldn't have been a good idea to let you drink right now.
You gave a half laugh, “Water is fine.” you smiled as he reached into the fridge. Choosing to keep the bottle of ‘Titos’ he had a secret from you.
Pulling out a glass bottle from the fridge he had bought yesterday. Pouring water into your glass as you chewed on your affection infused meal.
You placed down your fork, swallowing the previous bite before reaching for the cold glass. “You'd really be okay with me moving next door?” watching his eyes trail down to his plate.
Choso inhaled, “If it makes you happier- and not feel so stressed, I would let you move in here-” he spoke mindlessly, halting his chewing as he realized what he said. He inhaled sharply- feeling like your silence was deafening. He was about to apologize-
Only you laughed, “All my clothes would not fit in your closet.” you inhaled as you placed a bite of the mashed potatoes into your mouth. He huffed through his nose at your comment, pleased that you took it as a joke rather than how he truly meant it.
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Somewhere between him finishing half of his meal and your 5th compliment on how fucking good the food tasted- a battle ship board was put up between you.
Furrowed eyebrows staring back at you as he called out a number on the board. You hissed as you looked at your side of the game, “Nope.” you grinned as he gruffed at his attempts.
You were examining your grid, trying to use all the divination you could muster before he spoke up- “Did I tell you I'm thinking of getting a job?” he smiled, watching your furrowed eyebrows ease at the question.
You gasped, “No! Don't do that-” holding a peg in your hand as his expression churned to confusion. “I won't be able to see you as often.” you pouted, looking down at your board. The words seemingly came unfiltered from your heart, and the sight of you pouting at the idea of not being able to see him as much anymore was more than enough to push that idiocy to the side.
And though you meant it as a half joke, it still pained you to know that now- of all times. When things were finally advancing, he'd pull away.
“If you need money-” your lungs threatened to laugh at the words forming on your lips. “I'd be more than happy to pay for your time.” You spewed as though you were a sleazy 80 year old man speaking to a lady of the night.
Choso furrowed his eyebrows and parted his lips, “Like an escort??” he huffed a laugh, you looked up from your board with an entertained smile. “No- no, not like an escort-” you defended.
Calling out a number on the board as he nodded his head. “Like a paid…” you thought of the word, “Though I can't call you a friend anymore can I?” You spoke to yourself as he scanned his side of the plastic game, smiling at the thought that you'd no longer hesitate when referring to him.
He inhaled as he took a bite from the coldening food, looking over to your plate and seeing you had finished. “I thought you were broke?” he spoke thoughtlessly, not being able to feel the hesitance before he spoke now.
Your smile fell, he squinted his eyes as you shook off the sudden heavy feeling- “You're that expensive?” you chirped, looking at him bewildered at the thought he might've taken your words seriously.
Choso scoffed, “No, you don't have to pay me to hang out with you.” he reiterated, watching as you fiddled with the peg in your hand. Recalling your query of if he'd mind if you were his neighbor. “But I remember you said you were broke..?” he looked at you with detective eyes as you called out a square on the grid. Sucking his teeth when you actually hit one of his boats.
You hummed as you avoided eye contact, “I uhh-” you lowered your shoulders and raised a brow, “I figured it out.” flashing a warm smile at him. Only you meant it in an assuring way- Choso saw past it. He saw the way your lips fell after you said that, the way your eyes dimmed from recalling what you were hiding.
You cleared your throat, “Meaning, I can afford your company now.” you circled back to the silly topic with a smile, Choso sneered through his nose at your insistence. He opened his mouth to speak- but you spoke before he could.
“What kind of job?” you looked at him, changing the topic before he called out a number on the grid.
He sucked his teeth, “I was thinking at the library- Quiet, don't have to do a whole lot.” He muttered as he studied the target grid. “Or I could apply to be a TA.”squinting before calling out a number.
You tightened your lips, mouthing a curse as you marked a small boat with a red peg. “Why now of all times?” you asked as you waited for him to call out another number.
Choso parted his lips- almost saying the words that popped into his mind before closing his mouth. “No- say what you were thinking.” you caught onto the little habit he had developed since he was a child.
He smiled at your attentiveness, “I was thinking, now that I’m..” looking at you with a blushing smile, you raised your eyebrows, all but saying ‘go on.’
“Now that I am seeing someone.” he murmured, looking down at the board embarrassed and trying to ignore your gaze, you laughed at his avoidant eyes.
You inhaled, nodding your head ‘no’ disapprovingly. “You don't need to get a job just because we're dating, Cho.” you assured, standing from the barstool and taking a step around the end of the kitchen counter, standing before his figure as he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, “Look at all the times we've hung out- not once did we need money or to go out to have fun.” placing a hand on his bicep and squeezing gently to affirm your words even more.
Choso inhaled, “Would it be enough?” he muttered as he looked down to his shoes. You scoffed, trailing your hand down to his forearm, then to his hand.
“I would be more than fulfilled if all we did was stay here and play board games day after day.” you whispered, holding your hand gently in his as he felt his throat close up-
He looked back to you with creased eyebrows, the tip of his nose daring to turn pink from an expression that looked close to tears. “You want a hug?” you asked sweetly, hearing a sniffle from his nose before pulling you to him.
Your hands wrapped around his waist as his arms rested atop your shoulders, holding you tightly as your bodies came together in a perfect mold. Choso held one hand on the back of your neck softly, the other pressed taut between your shoulder blades as you smiled into his chest, circling your hands soothingly on his spine, he sniffled before speaking.
“Be honest. Did you come over here to look at where my boats were?” you breathed out- defeated that he saw through your plot. Pulling away from him as his hands hesisted to let you go from the hug that felt like home.
You looked at him with a cheeky smile, “I did.” you nodded, looking over to his side of the board and seeing you were close to winning by a few more pegs. You looked back to him, parting your lips expectantly as he took a step back.
‘Be well-mannered’ Choso thought as he watched you brush off the slight disappointment.
He cleared his throat, “I think it's time to take you home.” he smiled, watching your eyes blink down to your shoes that had to be uncomfortable by now.
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The trip to your house was short now that there was a car, and yet- you still held onto him as though it was the last time you'd have the chance to.
Choso parked on the opposite side of the street, turning off the car as your eyes looked at the wooden door across the street almost resentfully. “Ready?” he asked, knowing you’d refuse to face the music were he not there.
With a begrudged exhale, you nodded your head.
Choso held the car door open for you, holding your hand as you stepped onto the street. You almost resented how polite he was- knowing if it were anyone else they would have invited you to stay the night- regardless if it was a first date.
But not him, Choso didn't dare to even think of asking that of you.
And as you stood before him on your unlit porch, you smiled, “Thank you.” with a whisper, looking into his eyes as he scanned the prominent aspects of your face.
“Don't thank me.” he murmured, his voice low and throaty as he watched the sparkle in your eye round your pupil.
With a modist smile, you looked at him impatiently. “I think this is where you kiss me goodnight.” you leaned forward mere millimeters as Choso refused to step back this time.
He gulped at your words, “It wouldn't be polite.” he dissuaded lowly as you grinned innocently.
Close enough that you were breathing the same air- “It would be more impolite not to, Choso.” you compelled, watching his gaze dart from your lips back to your eyes.
He raised his hands to the side of your face- thumbs caressing your temples softly, parting your lips as his fingers kept a light touch beneath your ears. You fluttered your eyes closed as you heard ringing in your mind, cheeks warm and tingling as you awaited.
Only you awaited something to press against your lips- But Choso had other plans.
His parted lips pressed onto the center of your forehead, pulling away with your head in his hands. It wasn't disappointment- more like a challenge that you felt. “Goodnight,” he spoke your name in an intoxicating tone, softly taking his hands from your face and taking a step back from you.
You couldn't help but smile at his chivalry, “You're cruel.” you whispered, earning a quiet half-laugh from his chest.
“It’s not respectful to kiss you on a first date.” He scolded playfully, watching you roll your eyes lightheartedly.
You stared at him as you leaned your back onto the door, placing your hand on the brass knob before sucking your teeth. “When is a respectful time then?” you murmured, watching his hands slide into his coat pockets.
“Third. Maybe even fourth date.” he smiled, knowing that would gain a feigned groan of dissatisfaction from you. Though it was earlier than you'd like- 10:43 to be exact, you were still grateful he was courteous enough to bring you back home as though you had a curfew.
“Goodnight Cho.” you smiled, turning the brass knob as he kept his eyes on you.
Were the porch light on you’d be able to see the beaming blush on his cheeks, “Goodnight.” he replied sweetly, watching as you stepped into your house, taking one last look at him before waving a small goodbye.
Choso was able to contain the excitement in his throat till he turned away from your porch, his lungs threatening to start hyperventilating as he tried to confirm with himself if that actually just happened. He stood at the car door- looking up at the sky and thanking whatever celestial being was out there for the lucky hand he was dealt.
There was one thought in his mind at that moment. He was now sure that you made him feel more alive and far less lost than he felt without you. And he relished in that thought as he drove back to his apartment, no longer fearing the future- if anything he was thrilled to know that for the first time, love finally loved him back.
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and if I told you I over indulged sooo much in this chapter??? and if i said........ I almost hemorrhaged writing this?!!! this was too cute, (just wait till I write abt the first time they have sex) And if you're curious- yes the rewarding cigarette was delicious.
#jjk#choso my beloved#choso kamo#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk choso#choso x reader#choso x you#choso kamo x reader#choso kamo x you#choso kamo fluff#choso kamo x y/n#kamo choso#choso#jujutsu choso#choso jujutsu kaisen#choso jjk#emo choso#jjk college au#jujutsu kaisen choso#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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losing sleep - matt sturniolo x fem!reader pt.2
summary: matt sturniolo was the boy you hated most. it wasn’t always that way. one day he just decided he hated everything about you. that was until you slowly started to break down every wall off hatred and anger.
warnings: smuttt🤸♀️
matt’s pov:
i woke up the next morning still wrapped around y/n. i looked down and noticed she was already awake. “matt?” she spoke softly as if it was hard to form words. “thank you so much, but i know you don’t wanna be here so you can leave.”
“are you sure” i asked. “yes matt you’ve done enough and i’m so thankful.” i sighed as i stood up. “i’m gonna go grab canes, do you want anything” i asked looking at her. “i don’t know i’m not really hungry” she sighed.
i got in my car and headed to canes. i got my food, and i ordered a box combo no slaw extra toast, which was her favorite. i know she said she didn’t want anything but i know better. i went back to the house, and when i got there nick was home. i knocked on his door and held up the food. “this is for y/n whenever she’s hungry.” i told nick. “okay we’ll she’s sleeping right now but i’ll let her know when she wakes up” he said closing the door.
i went to my room and contemplated for hours. why did she kiss me that night? why did she want me gone so bad? does she even remember? does she hate me? i’m such an asshole for treating her so badly. i had so many things i wanted to say to her, so many questions to ask, but now wasn’t the time.
-
a month passes and i still haven’t talked to y/n about that night. i haven’t talked to her at all. she’s at my house like usual and she’s on the couch watching a movie with nick and chris. she makes a comment and chris looks back at me, expecting me to have a rude comment, but instead i continue what i was doing.
i grab my keys off the hook. “hey i’m going to mcdonald’s, do y’all want anything?” i ask. in unison they all say no. i walk out the door and head to my car. i’m not really hungry but i need to clear my mind. i ordered my food and ate in the parking lot alone.
-
y/ns pov
i was on the couch when my phone rang. i looked down at the contact on my phone and i was caught of guard when i read the name. “matthew sturniolo” why was matt calling me? i answer the phone with a “hello?”
matt: “am i on speaker?”
me: “no why”
matt: “can you go in the other room, i need to talk to you.”
me: “okay… i’m in nicks room. what’s up?”
i was still so confused by what was going on
matt: “do you remember the night you kissed me?”
me: “what are you talking about?”
matt: “the night when we finished a whole bottle of pink whitney by your pool”
me: “we kissed?”
matt: “then you told me to leave and you couldn’t do ‘this’ anymore. you said you didn’t want to see me again”
me: “i was drunk matt i don’t remember that”
matt: “you don’t?”
me: “matt-“
matt: “i thought you knew. this whole time i thought you remembered that night just as clearly as i did.”
matt’s voice broke on the other line
matt: “you seriously don’t remember?”
me: “you haven’t spoke to me since that night how would i remember.”
matt: i’ll be there in 10
the phone hung up. i looked down with a confused look on my face. “is everything okay” nick asked as i hurried towards the door. “it’s fine just give me a second” i told him hurrying out the door. when i stepped outside, the rain was pouring. i waited for matt, and his van pulled up a little less than 10 minutes later.
i ran over to him. i didn’t care about the rain, i needed answers. “matt!” i yelled. “y/n we need to talk” he said getting out of the van so he could stand in front of me. we were both now soaked from the rain.
“on the night you said you couldn’t do ‘this’ anymore” he spoke “what was ‘this’ and why have you shut me out ever sense?” there was a moment of silence “did you ever care about me y/n?”
i let out a deep breath as if i was preparing for the worst. “i shut you out because i fucking loved you matt. i was so scared of the idea of losing you then i actually did lose you. this is all a misunderstanding. i never meant to go ghost on you i was drunk and i was a stupid girl in love! and i tried to talk to you so many times matt don’t you remeber? couldn’t you tell how in love with you i was? i don’t kiss anyone” i was crying now. i know i looked like an idiot but i could help it.
“this was all a fucking misunderstanding y/n” he huffed and pushed me against the side of the van as he kissed me. “wow that’s much more enjoyable sober.” he said against my lips and kissed me again. i melted into the kiss. he bit my bottom lip making me moan. that gave his tongue access to enter my mouth. his tongue explored my mouth for a bit as he licked across my top teeth.
he pushed me out of the way and opened up the door to the backseat of his car. he got on top of me and ripped off my shirt, slowly sucking on the exposed skin. “matt” i moaned, but it came out as more of a sigh. i untied his sweatpants and pulled them down, exposing his boxers.
i palmed him which made him whimper. “fuck y/n” god that really turned me on. he pulled down my pants and my panties leaving me fully exposed other than my bra covering my chest. he rubbed my clit in painfully show circles. “wow you’re soaked” he teased me for a while, then rammed his fingers into me when i least expected. “MATT FUCKKK” i nearly screamed
“god your screams are so beautiful” he slowed down his pace for a minute before speeding back up. my back arched off the seat and my legs shook. “matt i’m gonna cum” i was breathing heavy.
he took his fingers out and i whined. it was kind of embarrassing because of the past me and matt have. if this didn’t mean anything i didn’t want go give him anything to use against me. matt removed his boxers and i could now see how long his dick was
“oh my god m-matt” i gasped “you can take it i promise” he reassured. “please matt” i let out such a needy moan. he then slammed into me not going slowly at all, but thankfully, he gave me a second to adjust to his size. “ok matt i’m ready” i said clawing my nails into his back. he started thrusting insanely fast. going all the way out and all the way back in, making my eyes roll so far back i thought they would get stuck. i threw my head back and dug my heels into the seat
“see y/n i told you. you’re taking me so well” he halfway moaned.
my legs shook and i clenched around him causing his mouth to fall open. “oh my god y/n you don’t know what you’re doing to me” i then let out the most high pitched moan so loud i swore the foggy windows could shatter. i came all over matt and he fucked into me steadily as i came.
shorty after his hips start to stutter and his thrusts get sloppy. he cums inside of me, painting my walls white. he pulls out of me and catches his breath. “i’m so glad i can quit pretending to hate you.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••
a/n: i feel like this part wasn’t based off the song as much as the first one so i put twily by taylor swift bc i feel like the part in the rain rly fits and all that jazz. anyways hope you liked bc i hate it😍
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#smut#nick sturniolo#sturniolo
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TNGDH 25
“Cashew. I’m really leaving now. I’ll only be visiting the horse stables, so it won’t take too long.”
Kyle spoke dejectedly with me sitting on his palms.
―Squeak (Hurry and go.)
“Sorry for leaving you so often. Even though I should be taking care of you more before we start infusing mana into you.”
―Squeak squeak. (I’m telling you to go away.)
The first time he said he would be leaving was 10 minutes ago.
I pushed against his face with my front paws and turned my head away from him, but he failed to read the meaning behind my actions. Instead, I was kissed five more times before being let go.
‘It’s finally over.’
I’m completely beat. You damned hamster otaku.
Kyle let me down into my home and then left the study.
As I reorganized my messy fur, I turned towards the door to confirm that Kyle left and used ‘Summon’.
‘System! You know the drill. To that room.’
[o(* ̄▽ ̄*)ブ]
My vision went white and instantly changed. It was the new room I received from Kyle the day before yesterday.
I wore my newly bought clothes and surveyed the room. A large window, a cozy fireplace, a soft bed, and a wooden wardrobe and a desk. There was even a warm rug on the floor.
It was so clean that it was almost unbelievable that the room had never been used before.
“He paid a lot of attention to it.”
I chuckled and closed the closet.
All the clothes I bought before were hung inside. Things like a small lamp, paper, and a pen were on the desk even though I never bought them. Same with the pillow and blanket on the bed. Oh, there are even slippers.
I opened the thick curtains to take a glance outside and laid down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling reminded me of the first rental house I signed.
It was a home I obtained from doing part-time jobs from early morning to late night. It was small and cramped, but I was proud of earning it myself. It was particularly difficult period of time back then since my uncle refused to help me at all.
That was why from the time I was Bae Soohyun until now, this was the first time someone actively supported me like this. I have been always alone since I was little, so it was natural to feel that I had to endure everything alone.
“……Is that why I’m having a strange feeling.”
Providing me money and a place to call home out of kindness, Kyle gave me an unfamiliar feeling. It felt as if it were obvious to request them at the time, but actually holding them in my hands felt strange.
“I will make sure to save you.”
I muttered to myself and turned around. Then I saw a table next to the bed…… huh? Wait.
“This is…….”
I bolted off the bed and clenched the bracelet on the table. It looked just like the <Shocking news! Beneficial mana energy is flowing out!> bracelet from before.
“No wonder he was talking nonsense about how I’m short and how weak I looked!”
I pounded my chest in distress and shoved the bracelet into my pocket.
I should go refund it right away. No matter how rich a person may be, he shouldn’t be ripped off of a scam. This wasn’t cheap either.
“You Grand Duke bastard!”
I opened the door and left the room. You said you were going to the horse stable? Wait just right there. I will come straight to you to make you refund it.
*
As if it were never warm before, the weather turned chilly. However, the anger within me was stronger than the bitter Northern winds.
I took long strides towards the stables. Kyle was there as expected. In his hands were a handful of sugar cubes to feed to the horses.
First, I took a deep breath and neatly straightened my clothes. Pretend we are meeting in a coincidence. Pretend it’s a coincidence. Act as if I never knew he would be here.
“……Cough, cough. So you are here.”
I cleared my throat and walked closer to Kyle. He turned his head upon hearing me.
“It sure is hard to see you around.”
“Yes, well……. I’m just rather busy.”
“You didn’t stay in your room either. Is it not to your liking?”
“Oh, no no. Of course not. ……but!”
It was supposed to be a short conversation, but it was difficult to hold back after he mentioned the room. I pulled the bracelet out of my pocket and shook it in front of his face.
“What is this! You really bought this from the market? Even though it was obviously a scam!?”
“Scam?”
“Some mana good for your body emitting out or whatever, do you think that’s really true? Even if it were, there’s no way they would sell it like that at a marketplace like that!”
“I didn’t buy that at the market.”
“What?”
Kyle chuckled as he held one of my wrist, took the bracelet from me, and unclasped it.
“I requested a magician yesterday to make one. It doesn’t emit any mana, but wearing it may bring you luck.”
“…….”
Saying that, Kyle put the bracelet on my wrist.
The bracelet, accented with blue gems on a silver chain, was light and beautiful. So beautiful that my wrist didn’t seem worthy of it.
And here I was about to rip it apart thinking it was just a germanium bracelet…….
“But is it alright to give me such a precious item?”
“I felt bad that you got hurt at the banquet when the chandelier fell, yet I couldn’t do anything for you. It may be late, but I hope you’d take this as an expression of apology and gratitude. Please accept it.”
He said with his eyes still on my wrist. A lucky bracelet you say? Are you saying you hope I won’t get caught up in another incident like that?
“Even though you already gave me a room.”
“That’s because you looked after Cashew for me.”
“……Anyways, this looks rather expensive. Since you gifted it to me, I won’t give it back even if you ask for it.”
This kind of situation felt unfamiliar, so I avoided his eyes nervously.
“By the way, why are you at the stables? It’s not like you need to maintain it yourself.”
“Because it seems that you’d need one for yourself.”
Kyle put down the sugar cubes and patted the brown mare. The horse nuzzled its face into his hand and neighed happily.
“Um, I don’t know how to ride one.”
“You can learn.”
“Who would teach me?”
Kyle looked at me as if it were the most obvious answer.
“Me.”
“……Are you not busy?”
“I have about an hour.”
He opened the door of the stall the brown mare was in.
I took a step back in hesitation. I’ve only seen them at the zoo when I was young and it was my first time seeing one up so close.
He saddled the horse and took the reins as if it were familiar to him.
“Come up.”
“Oh my back is still hurting a bit so…….”
“We’ll move slowly so don’t worry.”
After staring at the horse for a while, I gave in. I stepped my left foot into the stirrup and climbed onto the horse. It was a small horse, so it didn’t feel as scary as I thought it would be.
I held on tightly to the handle of the saddle and Kyle started moving forward slowly. The horse followed his lead and headed out of the stable.
‘……This feels weird.’
The ground was hard, but it felt as if it were oscillating like waves in the ocean.
“Why do you treat me so well? Is there a particular reason? Something like I resemble someone or something.”
I mumbled absentmindedly while looking up at the clear, blue sky. Kyle didn’t respond so I continued.
“On the surface, His Highness the Grand Duke may be wealthy and be called the king of the North, but I cannot take everything you give me for granted. I know that nothing in this world is free and that there would always be some sort of purpose behind your favors.
I am old enough to know better that there was no kindness without compensation.
There was something to obtain, which was why you were taking care of the other. Part of the strange feeling I felt in the room before could’ve been due to this fact. Just what exactly do you want from me?
Kyle seemed to ponder for a moment before opening his mouth.
“I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I said I had no motives behind my actions.”
“…….”
“You looked lonely, that’s all.”
I opened my mouth, only to close it without saying anything.
‘……looked lonely.’
I frowned unconsciously and clasped the handle harder.
“I wasn’t even fifteen years old when I wandered around the North alone, not having anyone to trust. Trust could become a weakness and favors could turn into traps. For that reason, I tried to do everything on my own. But the winters of the North were harsh, and it was difficult to even stay alive. In the end, I realized I needed help from someone else.”
He sounded calm as he recollected his past. He pulled on the reigns to stop the horse and raised his head towards me.
“No human can live alone, no matter how tough and strong they may be. In fact, even dragon hatchlings are heavily guarded by their pack when they are young. And when they grow to a full-fledged adult, they often blend into the human society to overcome their loneliness. Which is why I embrace those who need help, and receive help myself when I need them. I am only doing the same to you.”
It was a very idealistic statement. Even though the world could never always go so smoothly, he spoke with confidence in his voice.
What if the person who received your help betrayed you? What if you die because of that betrayal? Would you still think the same way then?
My mouth felt bitter, especially knowing to whose hands Kyle died in the original story.
I spoke out after pressing down the heavy feeling in my chest.
“Then, please don’t die.”
I spoke a bit too bluntly, making Kyle laugh as he lowered me down from the horse.
“Alright. I promise you.”
[A new imprint was made on Kyle Jane Meinhardt’s life.]
[Hidden quest, ‘Collective Destiny’ achieved!]
[Miracle Value has increased.]
[Current Miracle Value 26.0%]
I looked past the blue system window to Kyle.
I hope you continue to live. Regardless of whether or not our fates are tied together, you are someone who deserves it.
--------------------------------------------------------
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I’ll love you in secret
Larissa Weems x fem reader
Summary: it’s been 5 years since you and Larissa broke up on good terms. You return to the school to find that she is now married and all you felt when you were near her was your heart breaking.
Warnings: hurt, angst, break up
Requests open
———————————
How has it already been 5 years since you left Nevermore and 5 years since your relationship ended with Larissa. That was the hardest decision you ever made but it was something that had to be done.
You were going to be travelling around the world for the next 5 years expanding on your studies and the both of you knew that it wasn’t fair to continue a relationship that would be long distant over the course of the 5 years.
So you decided that it would be better to end things and it gave you both freedom if you chose it. However the end of the relationship killed you and you knew deep down that you couldn’t even think about seeing anyone else.
So for the past 5 years you haven’t flirted or slept with anyone because deep down you knew your heart still belonged to Larissa. The two of you did decide that depending on each other's situation when you returned that you could maybe pick up with your relationship.
Part of you remained hopeful but part of you didn’t. It wouldn’t be fair for Larissa to wait for you but part of you hoped that she did.
You were currently on the plane back to Jericho and you couldn’t be more excited. You emailed the school a couple of weeks ago to expect your return. You were promised your job back as soon as you returned which was great as you could get straight back to working.
It also meant you got to see Larissa sooner as well. You were happily chilling on the plane when one of the air hostesses came round with your food. You had just ordered a cheese and ham croissant with a coke.
It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to fill you up. You happily ate your food while listening to Evermore which played through your headphones. When you had finished you opened the blind to your window and just watched as you passed through the clouds.
It was so peaceful but the only thing you could think about was your excitement to see Larissa. After a couple more hours you were finally on your descent down to the ground. It wasn’t long until you felt the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac and you found yourself getting off the plane.
You went straight to collect your luggage before heading through customs and security. Thankfully you got through both with no hassle at all. With yourself now sorted out you headed straight to the taxi rank to go and find an available taxi to take you to Jericho.
It took you about 10 minutes as everyone was doing the same thing as you before you eventually found a free taxi. “How much to Jericho?” You asked the driver.
“$60” they stated. It was a little overpriced but you were tired and just wanted to head home. “Alright I will take that. Let me just put the luggage in the trunk” you said as you placed everything in the back of the car.
With that all sorted you then got into the back seat of the car before the driver drove to the address that you gave him. Thankfully it was only about a 45 minute drive to your apartment in the middle of Jericho and you couldn’t wait to get home and jump into bed.
It wasn’t long before you started to recognise the roads leading into Jericho. You drove past Nevermore School and you couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Larissa was there. You sighed happily before the driver pulled up outside your apartment.
“Here we are Miss,” they said to you. “Thank you” you said to them as you paid them for the journey before grabbing your stuff out of the trunk of the car. You thanked the driver again before they drove off. You headed into your apartment and just couldn’t wait to relax.
You grabbed your keys before letting yourself in. Not much had changed at all and believe it or not you could still smell Larissa in your apartment. You turned the lights on before placing your bags on the floor.
You walked around your apartment familiarising yourself with your home. When you got to your bedroom you realised that Larissa still had some clothes in your wardrobe which she must have forgotten and that’s when you saw the photo on the bedside table.
It was a picture of you and Larissa kissing at the end of the Rave’N one year. You could remember that day like it was yesterday. You picked up the photo before just staring at it and smiling. You then looked at the wardrobe wondering what to do with Larissa’s clothes.
Would she want them back? You hoped that maybe she would want to be back in a relationship and that it would be worth keeping. However part of you also knew that was wishful thinking. So you did what felt right in the moment.
You took her clothes out of the wardrobe before folding them up and placing them in a bag which you would give to her next time you saw her. It hurt you because you still loved her but you didn’t know what her situation was just yet.
You would have to wait a couple weeks when you would see her again at Nevermore. With the clothes now folded away you decided that you would have a shower and head to bed and that was exactly what you did. You were shattered from your trip home and a good night's sleep in your own bed was what you needed.
Over the next couple of weeks you spent your time sorting out your apartment. You unpacked all your clothes from your trip and really sorted out your apartment trying to get rid of everything that reminded you of Larissa, as much as that broke your heart.
You didn’t bin it but you just couldn’t have it on display in your apartment. Once that was all sorted you started getting your lesson plans ready for the new term. Those couple of weeks went by really quickly and your excitement and nerves grew as the days got closer and closer.
Before you knew, it was the first day of term and you just couldn’t wait for the day to start. You got yourself out of bed before taking yourself to the bathroom to get ready for the day. You showered before doing your hair and getting yourself dressed.
You got yourself into a nice floral dress before putting on some clear tights and a nice jacket. You then grabbed your bags before heading to your car. You loaded everything into the back before getting in the car and heading to Nevermore.
You connected your phone and The Very First Night came on so you just jammed away as you continued on your short journey to school. When you arrived you parked your car in one of the staff parking spots before grabbing your belongings and heading inside.
You headed straight to your classroom. As you walked the halls you admired everything in the corridors. It really hadn’t changed at all. As you made your way through the school to your classroom you walked past Larissa’s office.
You stopped briefly to see that her name was still on the door meaning she still worked here. You thought about knocking to have a chat with her but you knew that it would maybe be too much for first thing in the morning. If the two of you were going to catch up then maybe it should be on Larissa’s terms.
With that decision made you continued to make your way to your classroom. When you arrived there were some differences however most of the things had stayed exactly the same.
You placed your stuff on your desk as you sorted out some stuff in the classroom. It wasn’t urgent but part of you just wanted to sort it out now otherwise it was going to bug you. Once that was all sorted all you had to do was wait for your classes to arrive which didn’t take long.
The day went by relatively quickly and part of you was hoping that you would bump into Larissa but that didn’t seem to happen. She was probably busy and that was understandable. Did she even know you were back though? She must know.
As the day went on though there still wasn’t much sign of her and you hadn’t even had an email from her yet. So when the school day finally ended you finished some paperwork before grabbing your stuff and heading off home. However when you passed Larissa’s office once again you stopped.
Before you knew what you were doing you were knocking on the door awaiting a response from the other side of the door. “Come in” you heard her British accent call from the other side. You opened the door and let yourself into the office.
“Ahh y/n! Long time no see. How has the last 5 years been and how has today been?” Larissa asked as she pointed to one of the chairs in front of her telling you to sit down. You placed yourself in one of the chairs as you put your stuff next to you.
“Today has been incredible. It feels so nice being back at Nevermore. I truly have missed this place. As for the last five years it has been amazing. I finally was able to expand on my education which I needed and the time out there was just so fun” she smiled as you looked at her.
It felt like nothing had changed between the two of you. “So is there anything new with your Larissa. I can see you are still principal of Nevermore” you asked her. “Well I did spend the first year and a bit just focusing on the school but I did meet someone” she smiled at you which made your heart sink.
“Ooo Yh. What is their name?” You asked, trying to seem interested. “Her name is Jenni, we actually got married a couple of months ago” she smiled at you as you tried to not let this uncomfortable feeling escape your body.
“Aww that’s so exciting. I’m so happy for your Larissa” you smiled at her. “And is there a lucky lady in your life y/n?” She smiled waiting for you to tell her your answer. “Umm no. I didn’t really have time to date while I was away as I was always travelling. But I’m sure I’ve got plenty of time now” you smiled as your heart broke even more.
Larissa could tell this was a bit of a sore subject considering your past together and that she is now married and you had clearly stayed single on the off chance. “Anyway I’m gonna head home. We need to have a proper catch up” you smiled trying your best to pretend like nothing was wrong.
“Yes we definitely do. Have a good evening y/n. See you tomorrow” she smiled as you stood up and left her office. As soon as the door closed you ran straight to your car as you tried your best not to cry. However as soon as you entered the car all you could feel was tears streaming down your face.
How could you have been so stupid to think after 5 years that she would have stayed single to be with you. It wasn’t fair to make her do that and it was delusional of yourself to think that she would. How were you going to get through work now knowing that things are probably going to be awkward?
So that evening you went home and ate crappy food while watching your favourite tv show. You had to get these emotions out now otherwise it was just going to eat you up inside. Over the next few weeks you had found things were getting a bit better with Larissa. You no longer felt like crying every time you saw her, which was a start.
However when you thought you were at a good point it all seemed to change again. You had decided to go to the Weathervane on a random Saturday morning to grab yourself a coffee and something to eat. You had always seen the cafe but had yet to venture there.
When you arrived you were in your own little world and headed straight to the counter to order your coffee and food. You decided on a caramel latte and a bacon sandwich with a danish pastry on the side. When your food and coffee was ready you grabbed your tray before turning around to find yourself a table.
That’s when your heart sank. There sat Larissa and who you assumed to be her wife by the way they were acting together. You couldn’t deal with this today so you quickly headed to the other side of the cafe to eat and drink in peace hoping that Larissa hadn’t seen you were here.
However as you were wrapping up on your meal you saw that Larissa and her wife were walking over to you. They were definitely walking to you as the exit was the complete opposite way. “Hey y/n” Larissa smiled at you.
“Oh hi Larissa. Wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you” you smiled at her and then at her wife. “Oh yeah we come here most Saturdays. This is my wife Jenni” she smiled as she introduced her wife to you.
You smiled at Jenni while making a mental note not to come here on a Saturday. “It’s nice to meet you Jenni” you smiled trying not to let your emotions get the better of you. “How do you know Larissa?” She smiled at you. Clearly she was jealous. Did you tell her the truth or what she wanted to hear?
“Oh I work with Larissa. I’ve just come back from studying abroad for the last 5 years but me and Larissa were pretty close before I left” you smiled at her before looking at Larissa. Well it was the truth.
“Well enjoy the rest of your day y/n. I will see you Monday” Larissa said before turning around and leaving. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. “It was nice meeting you! And see you Monday Larissa” you called back but you were greeted by silence.
After that day you found you and Larissa drifted more and more apart and you had a feeling Jenni was behind that but there wasn’t a lot you could do. The only thing you could do was love Larissa in secret.
#gwendoline christie#gwendolineuniverse#fanfics#larissa weems#larissa x you#larissa weems x teacher#larissa weems x you#larissa weems x y/n#larissa weems x reader#larissa x reader#larissa x y/n#larissa weems angst#I’ll love you in secret#angst#hurt/angst#hurt#break up#married#brienneoftarth1989
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See you later sk8er !
Episode 2. ; Dinner with the Neighbors ... Previous || Show List || Next
Checking your phone, you notice that it’s already been about ten minutes since you’ve been in the bathroom. If you stay any longer your parents are bound to get suspicious which means that you’ll probably get a lecture. Something you want to severely avoid.
If you were being honest with yourself you really did expect dinner not to go too well, but the thought applied to your whole family; not only to you. Conversations were seemingly lively except for the one with the boy sitting across from you which was very, very dead. You had both tried to start conversations but honestly nothing really stuck. You’re sure that if your parents weren’t there it would have gone better but that doesn’t change the fact that it wasn’t working out.
Yet right as you think that dinner couldn’t get any worse the topic of comparison had landed right into both mom’s palms. This made things even more awkward for you and the older kid Suna, who you know as Rintarou now, who were already struggling to talk. How do you even talk to someone easier if your moms are asking you to tutor him and your mom is asking him to teach you to let loose. One answer: you can't.
It ended up getting way too awkward for you to handle to the point where running away was your best bet. That means the bathroom was the perfect place to go. Which is where you are now.
Letting out a fairly deep sigh, you stare at yourself in the mirror before smacking your cheeks. Get your head into focus YN. It’s time to face the world.
OH SHIT. Eyes widening and trying to hold back a deep breath, you feel your soul jump out of your body. Why was Suna Rintarou leaning on the wall outside of the bathroom door and why did he seem just as spooked at you. “I- Ahem. Why are you standing outside the bathroom?” Your arms are crossed at this point and you have an eyebrow raised, eyes looking him up and down. But maybe that was a bad idea because now you could finally take in him, and the situation, but mainly him. And his- stop.
“Well, whenever we have people over I usually show them to the bathroom and then wait for them so I can lead them back to the dining room but…” The black haired boy takes a pause and takes a good look at you before putting on an annoying smirk “someone decided to take ten minutes in the bathroom.” Ooh! The nerve of this boy. Huffing, you give back a very passive aggressive smile. What the hell was his problem? Were all damn middle blockers like this?! Right as you’re about to reply though he pushes himself off the wall and starts walking back to the living room. “Oh, ln-san, by the way your mom was right, you are smart. Maybe next time don’t wait in the bathroom for so long though.” Ahaha. Actually die Suna Rintarou. You wanted to shove that stupid look off his face. Thank god you wouldn't have to fraternize with him too much though. Right...? Maybe not.
As you walk our of the door of the Suna household, your phone feels heavy as his contact was already in your phone.
Notes !! : -> Episode two is done!! Woohoo!! -> I really couldn't decide whether to end the chapter after the writing portion but i feel like what i added worked fine -> Bro i hate writing the word smirked but knowing Suna bro does that shit often -> There there yn, i would get pissed off from Suna too -> Suna was actually waiting outside of the bathroom for 10 minutes scrolling on like idk tiktok -> His mom asked him why he waited for her since that wasn't something he normally did and his reply was a shrug and a "just felt like it" -> yn did not avoid the lecture and got one on politeness when they got home except her dad said "you shouldn't be shitting in other peoples bathrooms." she could not leave her room after that -> Theres two Nekoma closets and one of them is abandoned bc it was "haunted" and i really wanted to include that in this chapter and who better to get stuck in a closet that bokuto and kuroo -> Also im thinking about adding kuroo and kenma bc there isnt enough people here
taglist : open ! ft.ft. @lcvemiyuki @cannibalsrider @skazewrld @thvvluvr @snail-squasher @mfcherry @sereniteav @cocoforkuroopuffs @causenessus @yuminako @starsagainsthearts
#haikyuu#haikyuu smau#lumi's garden essays#smau#suna rintaro x reader#suna rintarō#suna x reader#haikyuu suna#suna rintarou#hq suna#haikyuu x reader#see you later sk8er - smau#hq x reader#inarizaki#atsumu miya#miya osamu
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MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE ➳ Y. JUNGWON
➙ synopsis: after a long day of practicing for your competition with your dance partner. He decides to escort you home but the rain seems to have stopped you. Although Jungwon doesn't let that hold him back from enjoying his time with you.
pairing: yang jungwon x afab!reader
genre: fluff, exes to lovers au
word count: 1.5k
warnings: not proofread, light cursing, reader referring to jungwon as 'idiot' jokingly, I think that's about it
Making your way into your dance studio humming along to a song, you walk in finding the room empty except for one figure who happened to be stretching by the mirror not far from where you stood.
"Hey Jungwon, are you the only one here?" you calmly greet him as he looks up waving at you through the mirror showing you his infamous smile.
"Oh hey (y/n), yeah our instructor said we should go ahead and start practicing the duet," he says as he stood up to quickly give you a hug, which unfortunately didn't last as long as you had wished.
You and Jungwon had been friends for as long as you'd known, you both met right here in the dance studio when you were around thirteen, now six years later you're both nineteen and one of the best dancers in the entire dance academy.
But despite how great and cordial it all seems between you and Jungwon, he also happened to be your ex boyfriend.
You both had dated for roughly about ten months when you were 16 but it all came to an end when he decided to ended things between you when he moved to Japan to study there.
Just your luck, he eventually came back to Korea nearly a year ago.
Ever since then, things had just been awkward between you both and when your dance instructor announced you would be paired up with Jungwon to do a duet dance for the state championships you felt even more nervous because quite frankly... you still weren't completely over him.
After all, he was your first love.
"So are you ready to practice?" Jungwon asks pulling you out of your thoughts as you shook your head getting back to reality.
"Uh- yeah sure let's get to it," you replied enthusiastically smiling as you placed your gym bag down by the end of the room.
Taking one final breath, you take your place at the centre of the practice dance floor as he soon joined you and began to practice.
"Let's just get this over and done with," you thought to yourself trying your best to shake off the tension in your body.
Having been tirelessly going at it rehearsing the choreography, you both decide to take a quick break.
Heading to your bag, you grab your bottle of water to drink some.
Grabbing your phone checking your notifications you realise the time had gone by and you had completely forgotten you needed to get home and start working on an assignment for school.
"Oh crap, Jungwon I gotta get home. We can continue tomorrow," you tell him with urgency in your voice as you hurriedly wipe the sweat from your forehead with a towel.
"Uh, I'll walk you home," he offers sheepishly smiling as you feel your cheeks heaten up and redden.
"Sure," we left the dance room and made our way out.
Making your way out, you both notice the grey clouds outside as the rain drops slide down the studio glass doors.
Mentally cussing yourself out in disappointment knowing you'd left your umbrella you begin to wonder whether to wait for the unpredictable rain to stop or to make a run for your house that was a good 10 minutes away.
To your suprise, expecting to see Jungwon beside you, instead you're left standing in the hallway alone as the other had ran into the empty street playing in the rain.
You stood there in shock as Jungwon seemingly had the time of his life playing in the puddles as his dark hair and clothes began to dampen.
"Jungwon what are you doing? You're gonna get sick you idiot!" you worriedly yell at him not believing how spontaneously he was being.
"Oh live a little (y/n) this is fun!" he says without a care in the world as he splashed my feet getting me wet too.
Hey, if you can't beat them, join them.
Exasperating, you simply shrug placing your bag with his inside the hallway where they couldn't get wet and you both started splashing each other as your laughter filled the quiet and empty streets.
"This is actually way more fun than I thought," you admitted as you faced upwards closing your eyes as the rain hit you.
Completely soaked, the rain wasn't affecting you anymore and it all felt so relaxing being able to run around carelessly with no consequences or anything in mind.
You just wanted to enjoy and live in this moment forever, with Jungwon beside you.
"Your royal highness, may I have this dance," Jungwon playfully asks as he bows imitating a prince.
"It would be my honour to have this dance your majesty," you join in his antics curtsying back to him.
Laughing softly at his jokes, he gently holds your hand placing a soft kiss to the back of it and this small sign of affection makes your heart beat a bit more faster.
He placed of his one arm around your waist pulling you closer while he extended the other one with yours as you placed your other hand around his upper back.
You both then started waltzing around the street across the water as the rain continued pouring from above.
Everything about this moment felt surreal, like a scene straight out of a movie, dancing in the rain in the middle of an empty road as stars filled the sky and the rain was washing down.
Meeting Jungwon's gaze, you catch him already looking at you with a fond smile and you're instantly drawn by him, nothing else matters right now because you feel like you're the only two people in the world.
This was one of the many reasons why I fell for Jungwon in the first place, he made you step out of your comfort zone trying the wildest things you never thought you'd be doing and he made it fun and memorable too.
Jungwon suddenly dipped you and he continued to quietly look into your eyes.
You swore you could see the stars reflecting in his eyes, the entire universe just glistening in his orbs and it was difficult to look anywhere else.
Your eyes then shifted down looking at his lips which curled up at the corners as he smiled.
Your thoughts raced just wishing he would lean in and finally kiss you.
As if he read your mind, Jungwon closed the gap between you giving you the kiss you'd been yearning for and it felt like explosions had just erupted in your stomach.
His lips tasted so sweet and felt just as soft but you both soon pulled away from one another ending the short moment.
"W-we should get out of the rain now, don't wanna get sick," you announce shortly awkwardly coughing to break the silence as you looked down trying to hide your intense blushing.
He cleared his throat as he nodded in agreement, "Oh uh yeah I'll accompany you home."
You gave him a smile as you swiftly turned around heading back inside the studio hallway.
Pausing momentarily, you gently touched your lips remembering the kiss that was shared seconds ago and you were still in complete shock at the turn of events.
You both grabbed your sports bags and walked to your house in the rain, didn't make much of a difference seeing as you were both already soaking wet but luckily it started calming down making the walk the slightest bit more comfortable.
Just then you notice Jungwon gently move his hand into yours linking them together.
First taking a look at your hands linked together then back up at him, you see him trying his best to hide his smile as he looks away from you and with that you continued to walk in silence.
Soon you arrived back to your house and you stood by the door awkwardly waiting for one of you to say something.
"Well this is my stop. Thanks for walking home with me and for dancing in the rain," you tell him shyly giggling softly.
"It was no problem. I'll see you tomorrow for practice i guess," he says.
Before you could say anything else, Jungwon hastily places a small peck to your cheek and shyly chuckles.
"Yes. I'll see you tomorrow Jungwon."
Slowly moving away from him, you twist the door knob but came to a halt as you felt his hand on your wrist stopping you.
"Um, would you like to go out with me tomorrow for a date? This is my way of asking for another chance with you." Jungwon admits letting go of your wrist as he scratches the back of his neck.
"I'd love to. Guess I'll see you then."
He excitedly nods and you proceed to slowly get into the house shutting the door gently.
Leaning on it, you place your hand on your chest feeling your heartbeat as you thought back to the moments of you both dancing in the rain.
Hearing a loud sneeze followed by a soft cursing you couldn't help but giggle at the man on the other side of the door.
#junnieverse.zip#jungwon#yang jungwon#enhypen#enha#jungwon fluff#jungwon oneshots#jungwon scenarios#jungwon imagines#jungwon x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen oneshots#enhypen imagines#kpop#kpop oneshots#kpop fluff#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines
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so yesterday at work, I saw cop cars outside and my manager and the cops were speaking to a woman in her car in the parking lot. I had just been walking by but I told my coworkers to tell me what happened whenever they find out. weird shit is always going down at work. so today I found out what happened. I guess this woman had been sitting in her car, wearing jewelry, and a group of scammers approached her and told her she looked just like their mother who recently passed away. they had a bunch of jewelry with them (cheap costume jewelry) and they told her that their mother would have wanted her to have it. so they start putting jewelry on her, but meanwhile they were unclasping her real authentic jewelry and taking it!! (idk if it had mere sentimental value or if it was real gold/silver/high quality, or how they were even able to identify her jewelry pieces while she sat in her car) then they start praying with her for about 2 minutes (which feels really cruel to me but they probably wanted her eyes closed for nefarious purposes) and then they left! and she sat in her car for another 10 minutes before she realized what happened and then called the cops. so, our workplace really has nothing to do with it but I guess she wanted camera footage from our cameras (that's how we were able to determine how long she was sitting in her car). but of course, there is no legal recourse because: 1) she waited too long and they're gone and 2) because it's kind of a sophisticated scam and this woman shouldn't have let strangers touch her in the first place. it is also sad and strange that she probably thought she was receiving loads of free high-value jewelry from strangers....kind of another reminder that sometimes free shit really isn't free. just sharing this story because it's highly unusual and not at all what I expected to hear; but maybe this is a general PSA to just be aware that things like this happen
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I saw this and had a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, so I decided to write something up.
Ok yes, I completely agree with the female side of this. They were not looking for love and marriage but something greater than themselves and the small worlds they occupied. I think Cinderella was open to marriage and love to get out of her miserable existence, and wanted to go to the ball not only to get out of the house, but because every eligible maiden in the kingdom was to attend. And she’s a rule follower, clearly, since she obeys her stepmother and stepsister’s every command. (Granted if she didn’t she’d be thrown out probably.)
The men on the other hand, I’m not convinced all of these men wanted marriage, or only wanted marriage. The Beast basically wanted to be left alone. He knew he had to find love to break the curse but by the time Belle came along he seemed pretty resigned to that never happening. While his staff clearly wanted Belle around to hopefully break the spell, I don’t think the Beast agreed to trade her for her father for that reason. He was scared of the outside world and its judgment of him, and found Maurice’s intrusion threatening. And by that point had become so beastly that all he knew was anger and violence. (A great metaphor for the only acceptable masculine emotions and actions.) So he kept him and then her as a prisoner until his staff said, maybe this could do something and he gave in to them.
With Prince Eric and Prince Charming, I think marriage was what was expected of them because of their titles and the time periods. Eric seemed much more interested in adventure and exploration than in romance and marriage. And when he thought he’d found the woman that saved his life it was just the thing to do to marry her. And the King was the one pushing Charming to get married and set up the ball for that purpose. We don’t really get much personality from him so I can’t say he didn’t want that but we don’t get a sense that that’s his sole goal.
I completely understand that Disney and fairy tales give people unrealistic expectations of love. And yes to us now it’s ridiculous to “fall in love” almost instantly. But we forget that most of these tales come from a time when your options were limited or decided for you. And marriage wasn’t about love necessarily, it was procreation and expectation, and for the woman security. Eric found a girl who cared enough to save him so of course marrying her makes sense. Then when he finds out it's also the girl who also seemed to enjoy adventure like him and captivated him for the last few days, well win-win. Charming found a woman he could stand for more than 10 minutes after meeting all the women in the kingdom, so sure she’ll do. The Beast and Belle are more realistic because it’s clear they got to know each other over a longer period of time. It feels like months have probably passed. And they found similar interests with the library. That being said, they all waited until they found someone they genuinely liked, even if they knew immediately. The timeline is unrealistic and so is the image of perfection that’s created with these romances. Things in reality won’t be perfect and the connection won’t be immediate. But I also feel like these stories of “true love” also gave me a desire not to settle.
I understand the point that this post is trying to make, and it is a good one. There is much to be said about most things being shown through the male gaze and patriarchy. And yes, as a society we forget/don’t care about the wants of women. But I honestly feel like using these fairy tales as an example of that misses the point of many of these stories. Sure Ariel married Eric, but a life on land and then a life with him was what she wanted in the story. The whole story is about what she wanted. And how she had to give up her voice to be heard. And yes Belle was kept as a prisoner at first, and her story can be likened to Stockholm Syndrome of course. Though once the Beast learned to love her he let her go and she chose to return. As a little girl growing up with these stories, sure I learned that love and marriage is the goal. But I also learned from Belle that it’s ok to be different, to want more for your life than what you’ve been given, and to fight for what you believe in. First she fought for her father’s wellbeing and then stood up to the town to defend the Beast. I learned from Ariel that curiosity can take you to great places, that there’s always more to learn, and that we don’t need to be afraid of what we don’t know. Cinderella taught me that even when life is unfair or hard, to try to have a positive attitude and hope for a better future, and to ask for what you want. She asked to go to the ball and tried so hard to make that happen even when the odds were stacked against her.
And honestly these men taught me things too. The Beast taught me that people can change when given support. Prince Charming and Prince Eric taught me to never give up searching for your dreams.
We absolutely need to talk more about the wants and desires of women. And we need to stop putting marriage as the end goal for everyone. But let’s not put these fairy tales in an anti-feminist box without exploring the nuances. And maybe let’s use more real world examples of how patriarchy erases the desires of women and makes them into objects for the purposes of men and their desires. Because there are plenty of those, and by using real examples we give kids (and adults) more practical and tangible problems to be aware of.
#disney prinesses#ariel#belle#cinderella#little mermaid#beauty and the beast#disney#feminism#marriage#women's desires#fairy tales#ariel x eric#ariel x prince eric#belle x beast#belle x adam#cinderella x prince charming
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My store has service technicians, trained by the companies that make the machines they work on. Our service department is very good. At any given time we have between 150 and 300 machines in the queue awaiting service, with that queue wait time being 3-6 weeks. However, people do make mistakes, and sometimes a machine will come back and the original problem will not be solved. Because of this, we have a warranty on all of our service.
There's a couple of limitations on that warranty, which means that when I'm talking to someone about warranty work, I have to screen for a couple of things. Mostly this is that the problem they want to put in for warranty work is a problem that they disclosed at the time of repair, and that this repair happened within a specific time window. If this is outside of the warranty time period or if the problem is a new problem that didn't exist when the machine left the technicians, then I can't put the machine in for a free re-work.
Customer calls and starts on a very long story about how she had the machine serviced and nothing has been right with it ever since. "Nothing's right with it" is a pretty vague problem and she can't narrow down the answer to explain what's going on. This is pretty uncommon since most people will be able to explain "when I start sewing, the thread breaks every time," or "it makes a screaming noise" or "the bobbin doesn't fit into the bobbin case anymore," or all kinds of other problems. However, since I no longer work at a store where we need to get customers addressed as quickly as possible. I can just sit on the phone and let her go on until she's ready to let me talk. I love letting people go on for way too long and then say, "I want to help you. What would you like me to do to help you in this situation?" because it helps me help them better and it's so much fun to put the responsibility on them. 10/10 recommend asking the customer what you want them to do to fix their problem after they've spent 10 minutes explaining how horrible everything is.
So we get through her disappointment with the company and the frustration that this has caused her, and she says that she hasn't been able to use it since it was serviced. So now, my turn.
"Okay, we do have a warranty on our service. We stand by the work we've done and we want you to be satisfied. If you're within that time frame, let's see if we can fix this."
At this point the customer interrupts to explain that she'll call whoever it takes to get her problem sorted out.
"I can help you here. When was your service performed."
And I really wasn't expecting her to say, "Well, about twenty years ago," like that was a totally reasonable and normal thing to say.
"...our warranty is 90 days."
"Well how on earth was I supposed to know that??"
To be fair, I don't know what our service paperwork looked like in 2003 because I was too busy being in primary school. Maybe that wasn't very clear or something.
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