#i need ppl to care about this half as much as i do i feel crazy

[soft-pine]

@angelsdean: #i think cas is good at cutting thru the bullshit and just saying things succinctly (and often bluntly)#and i think he's a good listener and is also someone dean himself actually chooses to open up to#and often WANTS to talk to (unlike w/ sam)#but yea he's not giving dean a therapy session. cas is not the wise all-knowing master of emotion#it's all actually very new to him! he's still getting the hang of human stuff!#and sam. well. he's mr. projection and deflection boy#and pretty bad at his own emotional processing#and should in no way be giving out advice let alone playing Perfect Therapist (and often Queer Expert) Sam#like obvs ppl can write what they want forever and do as they please in fanworks#but when ppl conflate this specific tropey depiction of them w/ canon it gets annoying#bc they very much are not like that in canon

@ilarual: #they are all deeply traumatized people with a shit ton of issues#and they all NEED the space and security to be able to heal and grow#but that doesn't mean that ANY of them are equipped to be each other's live-in therapist#Cas is more emotionally intelligent than he gives himself credit for but he's not a particularly verbose communicator#likewise while Dean is absolutely a safe person for Cas to open up to it's not his responsibility to be Cas's therapist#in fact your partner is probably the absolute WORST person to try to play informal therapist#and the less said about Sam in the therapizing your family conversation the better

@shallowseeker: #cuts through bullshit#also good at communicating without fluff which is what dean tends to appreciate#a lack of artifice

@indistarlight: #he's very blunt which helps dean as its the opposite of literary fictional reference word vomit mixed with vulnerability encased in bravado#but his biggest speeches are all literally when he thinks he'll be too dead to deal with the aftermath#he is very good at showing empathy and care when he's present tho! which i think dean appreciates despite how much it disarms him

@im-some-lionheart: #also Dean is canonically the one out of the three of them who most often initiates emotional conversations..#It don't mean Sam and Cas wouldn't ask him about his feelings but rather that it's most likely Dean's gonna ask THEM first#also what I love about dean and cas' heart to hearts is that it's almost always a variation of:#Cas: how are you#Dean: fan fucking tastic#cas: doubt#dean: ok I'm not fine I'm actually crumbling#cas: *offers support in the form of a killer one-liner or a shared moment of comfortable silence*#Top tier chef's kiss dynamic 👌🏻#which is why fics where they have long open and honest conversations about their feelings always take me out of the story#I'm sorry but it's not just that he would not say that (and he wouldn't)#it's that he wouldn't say ALL OF THAT. These are emotionally stunned and deeply traumatized “straight” (allegedly) Men#have you ever TRIED to talk to a man about his own emotions????#that entire conversation needs to be filled with short sentences tense silences and half said stuff

i think the confession made people forget cas is not really a consistent verbal communicator/processor.

i just dont know if like the verbose and florid speech he'd held in for years and finally spilled on his deathbed is like the best roadmap for how he'd communicate on a random wednesday....

[creating--memories]

Hi y’all this is my first attempt at a pazzi one-shot. I have been reading for a while but this is the first time I’m posting. Let me know if ppl like it :)

——————<3——————

Paige Bueckers sat on the edge of the bleachers, her knees pulled to her chest, her eyes glued to the court where her best friend was making magic happen. The gym echoed with the rhythmic bounce of basketballs, the sound of shoes screeching against polished wood, and the collective energy of players giving their all. But none of it distracted Paige. Not the game. Not the crowd. Only Azzi.

Azzi Fudd was on fire that night—her moves were sharp, her shots clean, her confidence undeniable. As usual, she was the one to steal the show. Paige had been with Azzi through thick and thin. From late-night practices to long bus rides, from moments of frustration to their shared victories. They had seen it all together. But tonight, something felt different.

Azzi’s eyes met hers across the court after sinking a three-pointer, a quick, knowing smile passing between them. That smile always did something to Paige’s heart, a flutter she couldn’t ignore. They had been best friends since they were both kids—two young girls dreaming of playing college basketball together, maybe even on the same team someday. But these feelings… these feelings were new. Uncharted territory.

“Great shot!” Paige called out as Azzi jogged over to the bench, wiping sweat from her forehead.

“Thanks, but you’re the one who’s always telling me to follow through.” Azzi’s voice was warm, teasing.

Paige smiled softly. She didn’t have to think twice about the advice she gave Azzi—it was the same advice she would give herself. But lately, she was starting to wonder if she needed to take her own advice when it came to her feelings.

Azzi collapsed next to her on the bleacher. “You look like you’re in deep thought. What’s going on?”

Paige shrugged, trying to act casual. “Just watching you play. You’re on fire out there.”

Azzi chuckled. “I’m just doing my job. You know, helping the team win. But you’re quiet tonight. Something on your mind?”

Paige’s heart raced. Azzi’s brown eyes locked on hers, and for a moment, Paige felt exposed. She had always been good at hiding her emotions, but this was different. There was no hiding this.

“I don’t know. I guess…” Paige started, then trailed off. “Do you ever feel like you’re really close to someone, but you don’t know how to tell them something important?”

Azzi raised an eyebrow. “Important, huh? Like… what kind of important?”

Paige bit her lip, unsure of what to say. She wanted to tell Azzi how she felt—how her heart beat faster every time they were together, how the small touches, the shared laughter, the way their friendship had evolved—it all felt like something more. But could she risk everything they had? Could she risk losing Azzi?

Before she could say another word, the coach called for both of them to head back to the court for the second half of the game. Paige stood up, shaking her head. “I’ll think about it later,” she muttered more to herself than to Azzi.

——————<3——————

The night wore on, but Paige’s mind kept returning to that moment—the moment she almost said something to Azzi. It was hard to ignore how much she cared for her, how much more she wanted from their friendship. But after the game, when they were both exhausted and walking back to the dorms, Azzi finally spoke.

“You know, we’ve been best friends forever, right?” Azzi said, her voice unusually quiet. She glanced at Paige, her eyes searching.

Paige nodded. “Of course.”

“I was thinking…” Azzi hesitated, glancing down. “I think I might’ve been feeling something more lately, too.”

Paige’s heart skipped a beat. Her throat went dry, and she stopped walking. “What do you mean?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

Azzi turned toward her. “I mean, I’m not sure when it happened. Maybe it’s always been there, just under the surface. But lately, I can’t stop thinking about you. Not as just my teammate, or my best friend, but something… more. I don’t know if that’s crazy or not.”

Paige felt her breath catch in her chest. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt like she could exhale. “It’s not crazy. I feel the same way.”

Azzi smiled, that same smile that had always made Paige’s heart race, but now it felt different—charged with something more. Something real.

For a long moment, they stood there, a comfortable silence settling between them. The cool night air wrapped around them, but it wasn’t the only thing that felt electric. Azzi’s hand, which had been hanging by her side, brushed against Paige’s. It was small, but the touch sent a ripple through Paige’s body. Slowly, almost instinctively, Paige reached out, threading her fingers through Azzi’s.

Azzi didn’t pull away. Instead, she squeezed Paige’s hand softly.

“I’ve been wanting this for a while,” Azzi whispered, her voice barely audible.

Paige’s heart hammered in her chest. There was no going back now. With a breath, she closed the distance between them, her hand still holding Azzi’s, and tilted her head slightly, her eyes searching Azzi’s for permission. Azzi’s eyes were wide, but her lips curled into a soft, encouraging smile.

And then, without a word, Paige leaned in.

The kiss was gentle at first, tentative, as if both of them were testing the waters, afraid of what might happen next. But when Azzi responded, pressing closer, Paige deepened the kiss, her hand sliding to the back of Azzi’s neck, pulling her in. The world around them faded—the bright lights of the campus, the soft hum of distant voices—until all that existed was the two of them, tangled together in the most unexpected but perfect moment.

When they finally broke apart, both of them were breathless, their foreheads leaning against each other as they stood still in the quiet night.

“I think this is just the beginning,” Azzi murmured, her voice low, full of promise.

Paige smiled, feeling lighter than she had in a long time. “Yeah,” she agreed softly. “I think you’re right.”

And from that moment on, they didn’t need to say more. They were more than teammates, more than friends. They were something new, something stronger.

And as the days turned into weeks, they learned how to navigate this new chapter of their relationship—one that, like their basketball careers, felt unstoppable.

[qprpbj]

thinking about josh ponyboy half brothers au again tonight. sigh. when will it end.

[pepprs]

STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️

[dan-crimes]

I gotta complain abt being a picky eater here for a sec cuz I'm lookin @ all this stuff on the breakfast menu and there's always the SAME ingredients in all these SAME food items and it would be SO much easier if I could just order food without having to think of all the stuff I DON'T want on my food cuz I always gotta put in so much effort to look into every single ingredient in every since food item that I order bcuz I DON'T LIKE MOST FOODS !!! SMHH !!

[chemicalarospec]

.

[bbokicidal]

A Simple Analysis. | OT8 [SKZ]

Warnings: I'm gonna be straight discussing these men and their pp sizes so if you don't want to read about that then just skip this post, no biggie.

Notes: I'm just theorizing what I think they're like 'n I included some good 'ol references. Please note - these references include pictures/videos of the boys AS WELL AS pictures that are NOT the boys but are references to what I picture in my head when I write smut for them. I also need to thank @skzms because I Lowkey could not find bulge pics/vids on my own and their post really helped me out w that.

Extra Warning: There are twitter links in this post, so you know what that means!! Watch at your own discretion losers, I don't want ppl in my inbox whining that I use refs that 'don't look like them' like obv jfc let me hop on bub quick to ask Chris for a dick pic smh.

Extra extra warning: I like slowly lost the ability to think the more I wrote this because all I was doing was looking at SKZ cock so I mean. forgive me.

Chris

HEA. VY.

Heavy Heavy Heavy !!!! I said what I said !!! And if you want to know why, you can simply look at this video!! If I'm being totally honest here, I don't think he's massive down below but I do think he's a little above average at least. Maybe -- mm... six and a half inches? Pretty sure it's pretty, pink, and always leaking pre because he gets hard so easily.

Also, pretty sure it's relatively thick. I mean, we've seen it a few times before in his pants/shorts, so... definitely enough to make you whimper when he's splitting you open. <3

I'm not even gonna like. explain why I think this bc I'm pretty sure we all know but it's veiny as fuck and you cannot argue w that.

And his favorite thing is when you mention during sex how full you feel just bc of how heavy he is. :]

In conclusion: Pretty pink fat cock that is more than enough to make you feel incredible each time you fuck. <3333

Minho

This man is... packing. p a c k i n g.

Packing like I'm pretty sure it's not like thick thick but it's thick enough and it's probably more on the purple side than the pink side, and it's so fucking long--

Not as heavy as Chan but definitely bigger. Bigger, longer, one pretty blue vein running up the side. Literally so perfect and just the right size for your hands to fit around. Also not too long to the point where it hurts to take it but definitely... big. Seven, at least. At. Least.

And his favorite thing is when you whine about how he's fucking you so good that you might die. Dunno why that comment specifically gets to him, but he makes sure to fuck you a little deeper after that.

In conclusion: pretty cock for a pretty man and so fucking yummy.

Changbin

Okay look people might disagree but I think Binnie's a lil on the smaller side !!

Now look. I'm not saying 'bah this bitch has a small cock' I'm just saying it's not a cervix-kisser like a few of the men on this list. It's just right!! It's the perfect size to be perfectly comfortable when fucking and he knows that 'n he's happy with it. (I'm thinking five, bc five is a comfy size.)

However.

He will ABSOLUTELY split you wide fucking open with how thick he is. This man has the chubbiest, pink, mouth-watering, pussy-dripping, eyes-rolling-back, tears running down your thighs, cock ever !!! He's gotta prep you for so fucking long and there is always soooo much foreplay to you two having sex because he's just so thick that if you don't prep lots it's gonna hurt a lil and Bin really really just wants to take care of you. :(((

And his favorite thing is seeing the way you struggle to take him in your mouth because of how thick he is. :]]]]]

In conclusion: best cock on this list. <3

Hyunjin

Hoh. My God.

Hyunjin,,,, ... Hyunjin's packing a fucking rod of a cock, I can't even lie to you. I'm like 90% sure it's at least eight inches and if it isn't then I'm dead. Y'all thought Minho was big? LAWD have mercy, Hyunjin's got a fucking PIPE on him. A third leg, if you will. Shit slaps his thigh when he walks if he don't wear briefs.

SO. PRETTY. I keep saying all their cocks are pretty BC THEY ARE I JUST KNOW IT but Hyunjin's cock is actually fucking gorgeous like it's the type where even if you're someone who's like "I don't like dick pics" and he sends you one?? you're like "omg y'know what I've had an epiphany"

Not like heavy or thick like the others but soooo long, soooo pretty, soooo mouth watering. The type of cock that has you actually drooling and getting fucked dumb every time he puts it in you.

And his favorite thing is when you do just that ^ and go all quiet n whimpery during sex because your brain is mushy.

In conclusion: Monster cock and no one can convince me otherwise !!

Jisung

Mm, okay. I think it's -- average?? But see I dunno why but I'm picturing a little on the thinner side. (AND NO THAT ISN'T MY SUB JI SUPREMACY MINDSET SPEAKING) but just bc it's a little thinner doesn't mean it's not heavy !!!

And even though it only might be like - five and a half, it's still so cute and so pretty and so fucking tasty!!!

Also like a firm believer that he jerks it at least twice a day, sorry not sorry.

And his favorite thing is when you blow him because you just take it so well and he loves seeing it all disappear down your throat <33 mm mm mmmm !!

In conclusion: Mmmm,,, cutest cock on the list <3

Felix

Y'all keep saying Felix has a little cock just bc you enjoy Twink Felix and look - I too enjoy Twink Felix but I also believe in frat boy Felix supremacy SO -

Big dick Felix in the building !!!

Pretty sure he's above average. Like, 6 or 6 and a half, maybe?? SO pretty, cut, pink, so so cute, so fucking yummy looking.

Easily like, the slickest cock on the list. And if you know what I mean, you know what I mean. if you don't that too bad ig.

The type of cock you wanna like. put in your mouth forever and just never stop giving him head fr.

And his favorite thing is when you jerk him because sometimes he just doesn't have the energy or care but he wants it. Plus your hands look so much better on it than his do. :ccc <333

In conclusion: Pretty, big, hefty cock that fills you up soooo good. Also constantly leaking cum n making a mess but you didn't hear that from me !!!!

Seungmin

Y'all,,, I'm not just saying this because I'm a Seungmin bias but,,,

This man has a fucking. rod. Not like Hyunjin-length rod but rod that's like at least seven inches and I refuse to believe otherwise because have you seen the,,,,

Fucking!!Monster!!Of!!A!!Cock!!!!

Thick! So thick! So heavy! Rivals Chris w how heavy he is !!

And his favorite thing is when you choke on it because raaahhh!!! (im not okay)

In conclusion: 2Min Monster Cock Squad

Jeongin

Holy God y'all.

Think I mentioned it once in a post where I was like, "P sure Jeongin has a big dick because as soon as he hit 21 he had this massive boom in confidence n I'm p sure it's bc his dick grew like 6 inches"

Sooooo,,, pretty sure he's also in the monster cock squad.

Like, at least seven inches, again. So big, so tasty. The type of cock that makes you pray to God it won't rip you apart because I just know he fucks hard, bro.

And his favorite thing is when you actually scream during sex because of how good he makes you feel. <3

In conclusion: Jeongin big dick supremacy, we all know he's packing a fucking log of summer sausage in his boxers.

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren @oc3anfloor @theyadorevalerie

[paarksunghoon]

super hard & horny jake with sleeping f reader

for all the ppl out there who might be startled reading this request, please know that my works always contain consent even if it’s not explicit between the characters (i.e. previously discussed or part of the plot).

***

“Babe, are you awake?”

Jake’s voice echoes throughout the quiet of his bedroom. He can faintly hear the quiet chirps of the grasshoppers from outside and peers down at your sleeping figure beside him.

You look so peaceful like this, cheek squished against his pillows with one leg propped in a triangle. Your lips pucker into a pout and Jake admires your sleeping form.

It’s too bad, though. He’s so hard he can’t enjoy his girlfriend in his bed properly.

“Baby, please wake up.”

Jake puts his hand on your waist and gives you a squeeze but you don’t budge. His eyes trail over that t-shirt you borrowed from him and gives you another squeeze when his fingers have dipped underneath the fabric. But you still don’t wake up, not even with his hands all over you.

He looks down at his lap and sees his cock straining against his boxers from the wet dream he had before waking up. Jake whines quietly when your body does shift, even though he’s pushing his hand up higher until your naked bottom half is presented to him.

You can use me, is what you said to him one Thursday night while completely sober. I’m into it if you’re the one waking me up.

And, well, Jake is down to try almost anything at your request. He loves you that much.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself as he stands from the bed to rid himself of his plaid boxers. From the foot of the bed, Jake slowly peels the blanket off of your body and spreads your legs until your pussy is presented to him. Still careful with his movements, he sees that you haven’t woken up.

“Really? After all that?”

Your stillness doesn’t deter him. Jake moves himself back onto the bed and pushes his face until he’s able to stick his tongue out and lick you. Dry. You’re dry. But you won’t be by the time he’s pushing his cock into you.

“So soft,” he mumbles with his eyes closing shut. Jake pulls himself from you to check on your status. You’re still asleep.

“Wake up.” Jake sticks his tongue inside of your folds and massages your inner walls before licking fat stripes up and down your pussy in repeated motions to spread his spit all over you. “Need you so bad.”

He pulls away from you and situates himself behind your body, pulling you up until you’re somewhat arched. Jake takes himself in his hand and watches a wad of spit drop from his mouth to your slit until he’s rubbing his tip over you.

Jake sees you stirring. Your eyes blink open as if to assess the hour of the night like you were expecting it to be bright out. You shift until Jake pushes his tip inside of you and he bends down to kiss just below your ear as he pushes the rest of himself inside of you.

“What’s going on—ohhh.”

“I’m so horny, baby,” he whispers against your neck. Jake props himself up on his palms and thrusts into you until you’re voluntarily arching your back against his chest. “You didn’t wake up for me.”

“It’s okay,” you moan lowly. “I like waking up to this.”

“Yeah? You like waking up and feeling my hard cock inside you?” To make a point, Jake pushes himself forward abruptly and relishes in your gasp.

“Mhm.” You fall back down on the pillow below you but keep your posture for him. You feels the weight of his hips slinging like he’s close.

“Had a dream about us.”

“Oh yeah? What were we doing?”

“Exactly this,” Jake moans. “Fuck, you feel so good. So good.”

He barely pays attention to you, too focused on his pleasure to care about anything else. You love when he gets so lost in his euphoria that you’re almost an after thought because it always leads to mind blowing sex once the guilt settles in. You don’t really care that he gets off before you do from time to time. What follows is his magical mouth and fingers, sometimes together.

You arch your back even deeper until it feels like your ass is pressing back against him. Jake pushes his hips into you harder and faster until he pulls out and spills all over your folds. His cum is warm and sticky. Jake can’t help but gaze at you in wonder as he pushes his release around until you’re pressing yourself back against him.

Jake doesn’t need to ask you if you’re up for another round with the way you moan as he sinks right back into you.

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! x

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - hhu

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, conflict resolution, direct continuation to this, fluff, happy ending, etc.

part 1

wc: 3889

a/n: literally so many ppl requested thisjhdf im glad u guys liked it!! im working on vu and pu versions for this rn btw <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

seungcheol sat there for a minute or so, simply pondering at what had just happened. it was 100% his fault, that was something he was very well aware of. he knew that it had simply slipped his mind, but that did not wipe away the hurt he saw in your eyes upon entering your shared apartment. knowing that you had been waiting for him all day made him feel like an asshole. he couldn't believe that he had forgotten about your birthday even upon coming home at midnight the night prior. he felt like such a hypocrite, always whining at people to give him royalty treatment on his birthday but absolutely ignoring you during yours. you, his most favorite person.

he felt hurt that you had decided to spend the night with some friends, instead of in the arms of your boyfriend, but he understood. this was what he deserved. god knew that he wouldve pulled out all the dramatics if you had done the same to him, which was why he was now at a standstill, not knowing what he should do. he wanted to see you so badly, get on his knees and apologize, letting you know over and over again that you were the most vital person in his life and that forgetting you was something that not even he could forgive himself for.

now, he could've sat there and lamented himself over his stupid mistake, or he could run after you before you made it out of the building. he did not want you going to bed angry, or much worse, sad, so he picked the latter and got off his ass to chase after you, not caring about his current exhaustion as he took the stairs rather than the elevator in order to be able to catch up to you before you made it to your car.

luckily for him, he was able to catch you just as you stepped out of the elevator (having ran down five flights of stairs and almost injuring himself in the process), completely unsuspecting to his sudden ambush. he hadn't noticed until now, but you had dressed up, clearly ready to go clubbing or partying with your friends. he felt bad to get in the way of your plans. no, he felt horrible to accidentally ditch you and then ruin your plans. but he needed to at least try and make amends. he knew that if this were him, he'd want you to try and make it up to him.

you jumped back a bit at seungcheol's sudden apparition as you rounded the corner upon exiting the elevator, seemingly not having expected him to come after you.

"cheol, what are you doing?", you didn't seem mad, but your tone let him know you were clearly not content with him.

okay, he didn't think as far as this. his main goal was just to convince you to stay, then he would come up with a way to make it up to you.

"baby, i ... i'm so sorry. i know how hypocritical this is coming from me. i never meant to forget, you know that! there's nothing i can do to make up for having forgotten about you today, but please, please let me try."

"cheol .. i don't know," you paused, "last year when i texted you at 12:03 you complained about it for over an hour. you're the one always making a big deal about this. i assumed you'd care when the shoe was on your foot, but apparently not."

"i do! i do care. baby, please. let me take you out. ditch your friends. i'll take you somewhere. anywhere. i'll even take you out tomorrow too! i'll take the day off. how does that sound?"

"you cant take the day off, cheol. you're an idol-"

"i dont care! they can come and try to drag me away from you if they want. i want to be with you. please let me. please don't leave. cant stand the thought of you going to sleep alone after what i did."

you chuckled at the first half of his statement, feeling touched at the second part of it.

"are you sure?"

he scoffed, deciding to go on a leap and hold onto your hands, pulling you closer to him, "yes! there's nothing i wanted to do more today than be with you! it mightve slipped my mind that today was the day, but i had a beautiful day for us planned, baby. will you let me show you? please?"

cheol knew it was hard for you to say no to him, specially when he whined and pouted at you, giving you his best performance in order for you to understand how badly he felt. it didn't take much more for you to break, finally letting a smile graced your face as you squeezed his hands in yours.

"you better make this worth my while, choi seungcheol," god, he hated when anyone called him that, but you were the exception.

"always."

wonwoo -

wonwoo was astonished at himself, for lack of a better word. he had never been more disappointed in himself than in this moment. sure, he didn't take birthdays too seriously, and he knew you didn't either, but you always made him feel so special on his day he had only wanted to do the same. he was a lowkey guy, so his ways of showing love sometimes went unnoticed by most people, except for you. you accepted the subtlety of his love, loving him all the more for it. he felt terrible that today he showed you the exact opposite of what he had planned. he had taken weeks to perfect the dinner he had wanted to make for you, having prepared a romantic night for the two of you. all he wanted was to make you feel loved as he held you through the night, but his plan had stupidly slipped his mind.

what kind of asshole ditches their significant other on their birthday? for a stupid video game out of all things? as soon as wonwoo communicated what you had texted him to mingyu, his roommate couldn't help but scold him, telling him this was very uncharacteristic of him. which it was. everyone knew wonwoo to be a very sensible guy. it was very rare for anyone to have their feelings hurt by wonwoo. the guy was just simply too emotionally intelligent to ever be perceived as a hurtful individual. except now he had shown a careless part of himself that rarely ever faced the surface.

he was unsure of what to do. it was clear by your messages that you did not want to see him. you quite literally had asked him to not come. your texts to him were always filled with love, somehow being able to have your affections to him transcend even through text. but these were cold, and with good reason. still, wonwoo did not want to give up. the only thing that would be worse than ditching you on your birthday would be to stay where he was, knowing you were not only upset but also hurt by his actions. or rather, lack there of.

so, wonwoo was now on his way to you. well, to your apartment. you had mentioned in your messages that you would be out with friends due to his absence. it killed him that you had chosen to be with your friends over him, but he was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. he was glad you at least had someone to be with while his forgetfulness kept him away from you.

he had a key to your apartment, often heading over to fall asleep in your arms after a grueling day of being an idol. upon arriving there, he knew you'd be gone, so he allowed himself in, hauling in all the ingredients he had packed with him in order to make you the dinner he had been planning all these weeks. he was unsure of when you'd arrive back home, so he needed to hurry just in case. there was also a chance you'd come back in the early hours of the morning, knowing you would sometimes stay out with your friends til 1 or 2 in the am. having practiced this dinner multiple times, wonwoo was able to have it all done by 10, hoping that you'd arrive soon so the dinner wouldn't go to waste. he took care of the ambience, lighting candles and even moving furniture aside to make space for his set up. all he had to do now was wait for your arrival.

it had taken you around two hours to arrive. wonwoo had simply sat there waiting for you, not wanting to contact you as to not disturb you. okay, maybe he had maniacally texted you back earlier, apologizing for his mistake over and over, but had received no response, so he had decided it'd be best to just wait for you to arrive on your own. and now you were here, crossing the door to your apartment.

you stopped upon spotting him, widening your eyes before taking note of the dinner table behind him, "wonwoo? what are you doing here?"

he smiled sadly at you, slightly unsure of what to say, "i cooked for you," he paused, continuing upon seeing your confusion, "im so sorry. time got the best of me. i cant believe it slipped my mind. i knew it was today, but i got too distracted. i never wanted to make you feel like i didnt care. i do. so much."

you stood there without saying anything, still carrying a slightly shocked expression on your face. so he continued.

"baby ... please, have a meal with me. i prepared all this for you. this is what i had planned for today, if only i hadnt forgotten. let me make it up to you, please. i already called off tomorrow. i had a whole day planned for us, but i'll do whatever you want. if you want me to leave, i will. just, please. i need you to know how much i care. i love you, you're everything."

you continued to stare at him for a bit, a soft smile slowly breaking into your features before responding.

"nonu .. you didn't have to do all this. i'm sorry if i made you worry. this is ... it's such a sweet gesture. of course i want you to stay. all i wanted all day was to be with you," it melted his heart that you had wanted him all day, but were separated by none other than himself.

he pulled you into his arms halfway through your response, humming as he felt you hug him back. nothing felt as nice as your touch against his.

"im so sorry, beautiful. this will never happen again, i promise."

"i love you, wonwoo. thank you."

"happy birthday."

mingyu -

mingyu had never hauled ass quicker than at that moment, not even bothering to say goodbye to his roommate before grabbing a jacket and sprinting out of the door.

he couldn't believe his behavior towards you. you had always been a top priority to him, and to now realize he had forgotten your birthday gutted him tremendously. but what got to him even more was the knowledge that you had probably been waiting all day for him, having agreed beforehand that he would make space for you on your special day even through his packed comeback schedule. the sole thought that you, the bestest person he had ever met, had sat alone waiting for him all day, made him feel like the worst boyfriend. so now he was quite literally running in order to get to you.

the dryness of your voice during that call should've been the first hint that something was wrong, but what really made the alarms go off in his head was your lack of response when he said 'i love you' to you. mingyu knew it was dumb to care so much about it, but he thrived off words of affirmation, so your lack of response made him immediately assume something was wrong. you had never not reciprocated his words of affection, much less hung up on him. the moment he expressed his concerns to wonwoo, he was reminded by his roommate that 'oh wait, isn't it their birthday this week?' suddenly his mind started spiraling, now remembering that he had forgotten his boyfriend duties on the most important day.

it didn't take him too long to get to your apartment. okay, he didn't actually run there, he was just being a tad bit dramatic. but dramatics were necessary in this situation, which is why the moment you begrudgingly opened the door after his incessant knocks, allowing him inside, he immediately dropped to his knees, looking up at you as he rambled apologies at you.

"baby, i'm so fucking sorry. god, i don't know how i forgot. i swear the day just slipped my mind. i had plans ready, i swear! i've just been so busy with the comeback- not that that's an excuse! you have every reason to be mad at me. it won't happen again, i promise, i-" mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he was going to stop listing off constant apologies to you. he wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying at this point, just repeating himself over and over again, letting it slip past him that you were now standing above him, holding in your amusement at the state of the pleading man before you.

"mingyu, please get up."

like an obedient boy, he got up, now towering over you as he usually did. he immediately held onto your hands, bringing them up to his chest as he continued his apologies.

"you have every right to be mad at me. i neglected you and forgot about you when i shouldn't have. i didn't even wanna come home to wonwoo tonight! i wanted to come to you! but we have a schedule early tomorrow morning, so it was just easier. but i'll cancel! i'll stay here with you! i wanna make it up to you-"

"mingyu, shut up!"

that was enough for him to slam his mouth shut immediately, looking at you as he waited for your next command words.

"mingyu, listen. i understand. i was hurt you forgot, but i understand you're really busy right now, okay? i'm not angry at you. you don't have to cancel your schedule either. i don't want to get in the way of-"

"i'll do it! you're my top priority, baby. you know that."

"i still don't want you to cancel, gyu. it's fine. i'm not angry. i appreciate your apology. just wanted to be with you today .. i'm sorry if i made you worry," you looked down, almost as if embarrassed by having felt hurt by his actions. this made mingyu melt with guilt.

"no, baby. fuck. how can i make this up to you? can i stay here tonight? hmm? i'll cook you dinner and wake you up with breakfast. i'll even cut my schedule short for tomorrow so i can be back home with you earlier. how's that sound?"

"sounds perfect mingyu, thank you," he took this as confirmation to finally hold you in his arms, swaying you back and forth as he hummed the birthday song lightly against your ear, causing you to giggle against him.

vernon -

everyone was aware that vernon could sometimes be a little too chill for his own good. he didn't make too big of a deal about most things, simply going with the flow and allowing things to evolve on their own. except that could not be done in this situation. right now, he needed to make a choice. give you your space, or run home to you, tail between his legs as he apologized for ever having forgotten about you. the last thing vernon would ever want was for you to not feel the immense amount of love he's always had for you. he knew he could be bad at showing it sometimes, but you were the absolute love of his life, which made him feel devastated over and over again as he kept rereading your texts.

'maybe you should stay at the dorms tonight. not really in the mood for you to spend the night. im sorry. love you.' that was what you had last sent to him exactly thirty-eight minutes ago. how could he just sit with that for the rest of the night? specially when all he wanted to do was be with you and hold you and kiss you and show you how incredibly obsessed with you he was. he was never good with dates, but he had always gotten any and all dates pertaining to you right thus far. he even had a gift for you he had purchased a few months back, but he had stupidly forgotten the day he had been preparing for was this week. this mistake was an outlier, truly, but it hurt you nonetheless, which was all vernon cared about at the moment. he couldn't believe you'd been having to hint at your birthday while your boyfriend remained clueless. you must've felt so dejected. he winced at the thought.

however, right now was not a time for lamentations. even if you kicked him out and told him to get fucked, vernon had to at least try to come home to you now. he quickly went over the situation with his members, explaining that he had been a total douchebag and neglected you. that earned him scoldings from all members present, calling him all types of names and demanding he head over to your apartment right this instant to beg for forgiveness and hope you wouldn't just send him right back.

so now he was on his way to you, despite you having instructed him to stay away. he wanted to respect your wishes, but he couldn't go to sleep tonight knowing your heart was still hurt because of him. he needed to at least see you and have you know that he was willing to try and mend things. vernon wasn't one for public displays, nor was he one for dramatics, but he was willing to pull all stops for you if it meant you'd forgive him. which was why he was currently running through the hybe hallways as he called up his driver to be ready to take him to your apartment as soon as he reached the parking lot.

he had had time to think over a game plan on the way over, except nothing came to mind. the two of you had never fought before. sure, there had been a few minuscule spats here and there, but he had never seen you angry at him before; he'd never given any reason to be until now. he didn't want to freak out over this, but knew how hurtful it must've been for you to feel so neglected by the person who's supposed to love you most, so he felt a pit in his stomach with the worry that maybe this would be enough for you to finally snap at his forgetful tendencies and end it. he didn't have much time to think about this, however, as he now stood in front of your apartment door, fearful of knocking on it.

the decision to open the door was made for him, as you incidentally opened it yourself, yelping at his apparition on the other side of it.

"vernon? what are you doing here?", you didn't seem angry. you seemed more confused at his presence. that was good.

"i- uh ... i'm sorry."

okay, kind of a bad start.

"vernon. i told you not to come over tonight. i'm sorry, i'm not really in the mood to see you right now," even though you didn't appear angry, your eyes wouldn't meet his, making him deflate a bit.

"are you mad at me? i'm so sorry. i didnt mean to forget, i swear," vernon knew there wasn't much he could say past that, but he wanted you to at least know he regretted his neglect.

"i'm not angry, vernon. i'm just a little ... sad. i tried to be subtle about it. i mean, i dont even care for my birthday that much, but i hoped my boyfriend would at least remember it."

"baby, god. i am so fucking sorry. i never meant to make you feel like i didn't care. it just slipped my mind. i know it's not a valid excuse, but i need you to know that it doesnt mean anything. i'm just a fucking idiot. i'm sorry."

he was rambling now. somehow you being hurt by him trumped the chance of you being mad.

"vernon, it's fine. i dont want you beating yourself up about it. i'll get over it. i just need space tonight. i was about to go meet with a friend before you got here," you seemed like you just wanted to get out of the situation, clearly feeling awkward at even expressing your disappointment at him. it made vernon feel like even more of an asshole.

"no! be mad! you shouldn't get over it. i should be making it up to you. stay. please. i'll do anything you want. i'll take tomorrow off. we can do something together. anything you want. i have a gift for you and everything! i got it while in japan, the date just slipped my mind, i swear. please stay. i don't want to leave you alone if i made you sad. please."

"vernon ..."

"please. i don't want to force you. if you want to leave, i'll accept it, but let me make it up to you. i dont want you to feel like i dont care. i do. i know i dont express it much, that's on me. i'll make it known. i'll show you. i don't want to hurt you again, i-"

he was unable to finish his sentence, now stumbling back due to a sudden weight against him. you, with your arms now wrapped around him as your face nuzzled his neck. he instinctively wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you in as he lowered his head to breathe you in, humming as he felt the relief of having you in his hold.

you pulled away too quickly for his liking, eyes slightly glossy but not enough to consider it worrisome, "i forgive you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean to exaggerate. i did feel neglected, but-"

"but nothing. don't apologize, please. this won't happen again, okay? i love you."

"i love you too," you smiled at him before pausing, "i .. do you wanna come in?", you seemed a bit sheepish, probably feeling awkward at hearing vernon ramble apologies at you for the past five minutes, showing way more emotion than he usually did.

"come in? oh, you're not leaving? wait, don't answer that. yes," he held onto your hand before you could say anything, pulling you in for a quick kiss before leading you into your apartment, all under the promise to make up for his previous carelessness and never make you doubt his affections for you ever again.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[gay-dorito-dust]

Damian thinking he can cure depression and all of your negative mindsets by letting you cuddle and hug Bat-Cow.

He’d personally drag you all the way to the barn and then promptly point towards the half-awake cow lounging in the farthest corner and with the straightest face he says;

‘Hug the cow y/n.’

You’re confused, you’re depressed and have told him so in confidence, and here he was demanding that you cuddle up to the bovine, who was staring at you both with their dark eyes.

‘Why?’ You’d ask, eyes never leaving the cow and Damian sighs impatiently. ‘It’ll cure your current aliment of depression.’ He says with such certainty that you almost believed him for a minute…almost.

‘Damian this is stupid, even for you-‘ however before you could finish your sentence, Damian was already pushing you from behind towards Bat-Cow, who only watched as you were positioned into their warm side, silently chewing before becoming disinterested and went back to resting their head on the floor.

Bat-cow didn’t smell the greatest but then again…they were a fucking cow but they were warm and fluffy and comfortable, so much so that you ended up cuddling further into them found yourself falling asleep almost instantaneously with a small smile on your lips. ‘Good Bat-Cow…’ you murmur sleepily as the bovine only huffs out hot air, unfazed at you cuddling them as everyone from Damian to even Jason had come once in a while to cuddle up into their side.

Damian made a satisfied noise and was about to leave when he noticed that there was a space big enough for him to slot himself against Bat-Cow also. He shifts he gazed all across the entire barn, making sure he wasn’t being observed somehow, before cuddling himself into the side of the large animal.

Damian wouldn’t find out until way later that he was indeed being observed as he chased after Tim throughout the manor, sword in hand.

Jason who loves to cuddle you as though it’s been forever since you last saw each other.

(It had been five minutes max, you needed to piss.)

He’d even make it his personal mission to carry you in his arms anywhere and everywhere he went in the apartment. He will not hear the cliche ‘I’m too heavy’ bullshit excuse, let him carry you in his arms damn it! He wants to hold you! Do not reject him this golden opportunity!

He doesn’t care if anyone like Bruce, Dick or Roy are present because if anything it shows them that he had someone in his life that he loved and adored more than anything. Roy/Dick -mainly Dick- may tease him to high heavens about it but Jason only shrugs it off and says albeit childishly: ‘well at least I have someone to hold onto every night unlike you dickhead.’ Before casually carrying you into the kitchen with him to grab a drink.

(Remember that ‘Gator needs his gat, you punk ass bitch.’ tiktok Trend where ppl picks up their friend? Yh that’s what goes on in my head when writing this.)

Jason fears as though he’s not spending enough time with you. Which is bullshit because this man spends every waking moment with you being cute and loving and just the absolute best in general.

He’s not use to the whole relationship thing and he’s overthinking everything he’s doing and worries that it might be the breaking limit for you. So all you got to do is hold his face in your hands, rest your head against his own and reassure him that he was spending more than enough time with you. It’ll probably won’t get rid of the notion that he wasn’t doing enough for you out of Jason’s head, but at least it was something that he could be reminded of when he was getting too lost in his thoughts.

He’s a worrywart and a big one at that, but as long as you keep being his anchor, keep being the reason his head feels a lot clearer and so on, then Jason will gradually come to learn that he never needs to worry about anything when you’re more than happy to keep reminding him that it’s okay to worry, and that he wasn’t being suffocating or otherwise.

Jason maybe physically imposing and intimidating to look at for some people but to you, he was like those badly stereotyped big dogs that are the biggest sweethearts. Dogs such as:

Rottweilers

XL bully dogs

Pit bull

Doberman Pinscher and more.

He’s a sweetheart who just looks intimidating, nothing more nothing less…unless you happen to be a criminal then Jason is anything but the word sweet or adorable as they’re getting their asses beaten.💀

Dick always asks you if you still love him after every minor inconvenience.

It doesn’t matter what happens or how it happens, he always give you those puppy dog eyes of his and pouts his lips. ‘Do you still love me?’

‘Dick we’ve been through this before, of course I love you.’ You’d reply.

‘But you looked really annoyed right now and I just wanted to know if you still like me enough to date me.’ He then says as he rests his head on your shoulder, pressing himself against your back.

You sighed before looking over at him and pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. ‘Does that clear everything up for you?’ You asked rhetorically as Dick beamed brightly and stole a kiss from your lips, reinvigorated. ‘Yep.’ He’d respond before moving on with the rest of his day.

If you were to accidentally forget to kiss him good morning or before you were leaving for work, Dick would take full offence as he places himself in front of the door, arms crossed and lips formed into that pout you were more then familiar with at this point. ‘You hate me.’

‘Dick I’m in a hurry!’ You cry, looking at the time.

‘And you forgot my good morning kisses!’ He’d cry back at you and you would be several minutes late to work, all because you were making up for the misses kisses. You hate Dick sometimes but you knew you couldn’t be mad at him for long when he’d smother in kisses upon arriving him from work, so you guessed he could be given a pass…just this once.

[thoughtsonkm]

Mimi-san & Kookoo-san

This photo really fulfills my need for aesthetic shots

This episode (and probably the whole trip) is like the biggest, warmest, lingering hug someone could give you. Not letting go for a long time, until after it's over you're left with a full heart, teary eyes and a sense of unprecedented calmness.

~

So no Tokyo for us (as expected). That city really is theirs and theirs ONLY. (I read that ppl saw them with a camera in that ramen shop in Tokyo, so now everyone's thinking of a possible GCF #2 but that would be INSANE)

~

Jimin stop ruining the romantic moments JK creates, challenge failed! (he really does live up to the "conceal, don't feel" idea)

~

This ritual of Jimin singing Kook's new singles on each trip, is very very cute.

~

THE BABIEST OF THEM ALL another bean here⬆️

Did they lowkey have a gentle monster sponsorship? Way to go Jikook 👏🏻👏🏻

I know it's always been Jimin's go to brand for glasses so it feels kinda full circle. He should be some kind of brand ambassador for them.

Oh hello mister 'I can eat yo fingers but not yo potato peel' (I get it tho)

This is the single softest Jikook moment ever!! Period. End of discussion.

Sharing earphones, romantic music, beautiful scenery, calm setting, head on shoulder. - Who says romance is dead? 😭

Not even the background animation can ruin this for me. (ingenious idea nonetheless)

I CANNOT deal with the sweetness of this daughter talk. DO THEY KNOW WE'RE INSANE??

My guy starts talking about a family. The other guy he's gripping tight is already discombobulated, gulping, eyes going left and right lol

Jokes aside he really would be the most gentle, bestest, most caring dad ever 😭 (I promised myself to not get emo during this episode, I'm saving the waterworks for the inevitable last ep.)

~

I do remember they (especially Jimin) used to be pretty fluent in japanese so I'm guessing since they haven't done Japan promo since 2021, they forgot a little bit..

~

Imagine Jimin in a jazz bar with a 10 year old whiskey in hand, flirting with his bf.. Improv kings!

Happiness looks so good on them.

~

I love that from time to time they almost forgot they had a show to shoot. A DAMN JOB to do 😂

~

I present you a compilation of Jungkook saying how happy he is, how much he loves it and how good it is, during this episode.

~

LOL at them doing the english meme thing. Just two simple guys with ONE BRAINCELL. Looks like one of those random af videos they would watch while learning english.

~

Oh yes, we do indeed enjoy y'all gradually getting raggedy and fat 😂😂 He's hilarious, he's on a roll ladies and gents.

Jungkook half wishing they were the same age so they could "twin" even more (I'm sure that would be so convenient for you Jk 👀) as if it's possible for them to be even more on the same wavelength than they already are.

I do feel like in the distant future it would be such a good option for them to transfer and live in Japan cause it does seem like their favourite place in the whole world and the one place they feel themselves the most.

Sapporo in their 40es would be like a little hidden paradise for them to be somewhat free..

(let me dream)

[dadsbongos]

Idk if u do anon requests given ur rules but I am a scared lil guy when it comes to sending ppl asks. I know you don't need to feel obligated to write it, but I wanted to share my silly little musings with someone at least, if you don't mind ^^

My brain doesn't want to shut up about the idea of a monster reader akin to Anansi's goatman joining the Touden party with malintent, only to be intimidated out of their plans by the fact the party constantly eats monsters. Despite them wanting to run, they're stuck there because the party will realize they've been infiltrated and probably eat them like all the other monsters if they find out.

i absolutely love anon requests! they are so lovely to receive i just kind of write depending on my current interest at the moment

3.4 k words / warnings - gore right off the bat, reader goes through psychological horror at the hands of laios touden, laios forcing the party into extreme situations

summary - that time laios domesticated a monster and everyone was mad at him. ~~~

You’re starving. You’re parched. You’re dizzy.

A woman is screaming in the corner, her eyes bulging from her head and hands clamped over her gaping mouth. Knees wobbling before she collapses to the ground, palms scraping against the floor in a final ditch effort to save herself. She screams louder when your head slowly rolls -- slanted eyes still on her frantic form.

Long fingers scoop from the bowl of a half-foot’s gut, you cup shreds of meat and stringing firm, warm innards to your mouth while maintaining focus on the woman.

No matter how much you eat, you’re starving. No matter what you drink, you’re parched.

The only solace you find in hearty meals is that the pressurized ache behind your skull fades, and with it goes the dazed sensation. You can walk firm and tall. You can stretch out and speak.

You can speak, “Come… here…”

She freezes. Wide eyes scrambling over you. Chest twitching with hyperventilation, “We gave you the half-foot! What else do you want?!”

Swallowing chunks of gummy flesh trapped in your teeth, you speak again, “Come… Now… Come…”

“No, please,” she whimpers, snot and tears dripping, “Please, please, please!”

She rocks onto her back, tumbling around to her feet and sprawling for a weapon. She finds one the big man used, she holds it up and her arms shake under the weight. She doesn’t pose a real threat that way -- she hadn’t lifted a finger to help the group fight.

Rising onto two feet, you tower over her and reach out, cupping her face with both hands. Thumbing the fat on her cheeks and pulling her ears, you croak,

“Mine…”

. . .

A red dragon used to plague this floor, you don’t hear him anymore. You feel confident to venture from your cave for more meal.

Recently, the hunger has gotten so bad you’ve begun drooling over yourself. Despite not caring for your appearance, the feeling is bothersome. The sensation of saliva-matted fur around your muzzle reminds you of the vacancy in your stomach.

Bravely creeping from the lulling warmth of your cavern, you come into the open grass and watch dire wolves nose at Barometz stalks. Unripe, ruby fruits shine under leaking light from higher places. Gold bounces off the fur of ripened fruits. You’re sure they’ll be harvested soon. Your only derision with unripe Barometz fruits is the smaller lamb. Even then, you cannot complain when the wolves more than make up for a lack of meat.

Just as you set to slide down the mossy wall, a red blur hastens toward the middle of the field. Large, pointed black ears twitch which gives you pause. The pale skin you can make out and thick cloth stresses to you that it's a human, but those ears and the hunched posture tell otherwise. Either way, it will have meat.

A man approaches, rushing behind the red blur, his tin shell clinks as he runs. He’s yelling. He can speak.

Long, gold hair and blue furs run after him -- two more men after the blonde woman. A group. A group made of thick bodies, sans the weird-looking red one and the child. No matter, they can fill your shriveled intestine while you divy the thick ones.

Or perhaps just the stout one could fill you. His broad frame is swollen with muscle and he looks well-kept: strong and lively.

Just the thought of cinching his fat thigh makes you swallow another well of spittle. As the wolves close in, the red and blue ones cut from the group, and you merely watch. Dead meat is still meat. If one party kills the other then all you have to do is interfere before they start eating their game.

The tin man gets low, on all fours, before yelping and barking like a rabid beast. He snarls and flails -- startling away the few wolves straggling behind.

After robing, you slide down the crag only to hiss as jagged rocks snag new skin. Spending so much time in your natural form makes the transition to a new face that much more difficult to acclimate to.

You’d lick up the thin blood trails if the three remaining bodies weren’t now gazing at you in shock.

The furthest away, the brown-headed child, scowls at your very presence. While the tin man seems to be fighting back an eager approach.

“Who are you?” the child bites from the back of the pack, eyes narrow and harsh.

An axe’s glint draws your attention to the stocky one. He’s raised his weapon against you.

Flashing yourself a downward glance, you confirm you’re in a human form. Are humans more distrusting the lower they venture?

You open your mouth, then think better of it, pointing to your throat and shaking your head.

“Mute, huh?” again, the child speaks before casting the tin man a look. His instant deferral makes you wonder if the tall one is the leader. Then the child looks to the short one, “Senshi…”

If that’s a secret code among them, you cannot make it out.

What do you look like?

Who did you last steal?

You mask another cursory study of yourself as a frustrated huff and sniffle -- the woman. The healer woman. These all seem to be men, and men are usually softer when you take the form of a woman.

You sniffle louder, frowning and covering your face.

“Ah,” the child stumbles back, “Senshi!”

“What?” the short one gruffs. So that must be its name, not a code.

“Do something!”

“Did you lose your party?” the tin man approaches instead of ‘Senshi’. His face is gentle, nothing but patience written in the low lid of his eyes.

Pathetically, you nod.

“Laios!” the child hisses. Is that another name?

“I’m Laios,” the tin man instantly confirms, then gesturing toward the child, “That’s Chilchuck. And this is Senshi,” his brows draw, “How’d you get down here by yourself?”

How did you meet this woman?

Wiping away cold blotches in your waterline, you point upwards before dramatically slamming the hand downward.

“You fell?” Chilchuck sounds suspicious.

Oh, well. Womanly charms (tears) can’t work on kids, you suppose.

“It’s possible,” Laios defends.

“If there was a faster way to get us down here, don’t you think I would’ve taken us through there?”

The pair glare at each other with Senshi a silent third party, though his axe remains raised. Abruptly, a sickening growl cracks through the air. Borderline blood curdling in the low, raw gurgle seeping from your stomach.

Manufacturing embarrassment, you cup the pouch of your tummy and shake your head apologetically.

“Are you hungry?” Laios asks redundantly, then offers a hand. His smile is just as soft as it had been moments ago, but something about its serenity ignites your brain.

A tingle races down your spine. Breath sputtering a moment and guts coiling unpleasantly. You can feel sweat bead your forehead regardless of the chilly breeze.

You haven’t felt like this since you first opened your goopy eyes to the dungeon’s lower levels. Like he’s about to spear you through the chest. Like he’s twice your size.

Blinking free from your stupor, you nod clumsily and take his hand. It's warm. Yours is clammy.

“Is this a good idea…?” Chilchuck looks up at Senshi, wringing his hands.

Before you can properly hear Senshi’s response, Laios is already pulling you towards the cavern that red blur darted out of. He climbs in first and pulls you in -- Senshi politely avoids looking up while following after. You sit between Laios and Chilchuck in the cavern, watching Laios’ hands skim over the large, unripe Barowitz. Without considering the action, you find yourself licking your lips as he leans his face against the fruit. His cheek puffing out.

Suddenly, his gaze is honed on you again, “As soon as Marcille and Izutsumi are back, we can start eating.”

You nod excitedly. Once the other two are back, you can release and consume. A group of five is sure to satiate you at long last. You’ve never seen such a large collection of bodies. You won’t ever have to eat again after this meal.

Your excitement is tempered when you catch a glimpse of Chilchuck in your peripherals.

Child. A child is down here?

Don’t humans usually put the lives of their young before their own?

You point at Chilchuck, hoping the child will relax once you demonstrate some maternal instinct. Mothers want their kids to eat, right? It sounds right. Your maker always watched you eat before diving in Himself.

“Chilchuck?” Laios murmurs, “What about him?”

Instinctually, your mouth opens again, only to clack shut again. You tap your lips then point to him again. Then you drag a finger through the smatter of dirt and dust along the cold floor. A risky move to write, but you’ve practiced well enough to pass.

EAT FIRST

Laios raises a brow at you, “Why would he eat first?”

CHILD

Laios smiles wider than even before.

Chilchuck scoffs, an overt anger filling his tone, “I’m not a child! How ignorant are you?!”

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Is he just a very short human like Senshi? But how is he so slight? How are his ears so big?

What is he?

Before any response can form from any person in the tunnel, the blue and red ones creep out from the darkness. Laios stands and approaches the pair. Blonde woman, the variety that has pointy ears -- you’ve seen lots of them down here -- continuously glances at you. She murmurs to Laios while the red one is leaning against her.

It stands on its hinds like a human, it groans like a human, it looks like a human sans the tail hanging between its legs and ears pointing upward. It's skinny, whatever it is. It was fast, looks like it has a useful face to steal.

You watch the group jabber amongst themselves, with the woman heatedly berating her fellow man for taking you in. Despite her harsh words, Laios’ face never falls: whether he’s truly so forgiving or just thrives off negative attention you’re unsure.

“I just have a good feeling,” his eyes pierce through you, and that tickle up your spine returns.

“Oh, good,” she grumbles.

“In any case, we’re all hungry,” at the prompt, Senshi moves towards the Barometz and steadies a hand against it, “I wanted to harvest a Barometz, but all the ripe ones were taken by dire wolves.”

Senshi punctures the fruit’s skin with a blade, cutting along the circumference, “Let’s see if we can cook it.”

Once halved, the side not supported by Senshi’s hand slips open with the premature lamb limply collapsing to the floor. Gelatinous bones jiggling against rock.

The thing with fur leans forward, “There’s a little sheep in the vegetable!”

“Aah! I can’t!” blue one grimaces, covering her face while Chilchuck gags, “For completely different ethical reasons, I refuse!”

You quirk a brow at her interjection -- food is food, no? They can dole out the fruit and get plump before you finally soothe your own aching gut. You’re almost tempted to rip back tight, uncomfortable skin and end the woman’s misery when Senshi’s voice calls to you.

“First cut up the Barometz ribs into whatever size proportion you want. Season them, sear them, add wine over top, cover the pan, and then braise them,” you watch as he casually defiles a creature he cannot understand, sizzling it and burning away faux fats.

You’ve never seen humans that bite back.

No matter how harmless a Barometz is, you’re in shock to see him searing up what is technically a monster.

“Next, boil the remainder of the fruit, peel off the skin, and cut it into chunks. Add some garlic and simmer it all together. With the sauce finished, you take that, pour it over the meat and… it’s ready!”

Barometz Balut.

“This helping’s yours, cat girl. Go on, take it.”

“What’s all the weird-looking stuff?”

While Senshi and ‘cat girl’ are locked in a debate, the man hands the woman in blue a serving as well. Her lips are stretched downward, her brows knotted towards the center of her forehead.

“Come on, Marcille, you’ve eaten Harpy eggs before. This should be easy!”

Harpy… eggs. Their young? What benefit does a Harpy egg provide? There is no meat. To eat that is to consume a beast simply because they can.

“That was out of desperation! I didn’t like them!”

She consumes despite it being unfulfilling? That, truly, is eating solely to prove it possible.

Your hands shake at your sides at the thought.

“That’s not true,” Laios denies.

“Okay, fine, they were… ugh. They were fine!”

“It’s okay, we all liked them. I think my favorite has been the red dragon, though,” Laios is positively beaming at you now.

The red dragon. He’s why the field’s warden has gone missing. Your shock is not lost on any of the group.

When your horror is evident, Chilchuck and the woman -Marcille- shoot forward while waving their hands around. As if to physically bat away any unsavory accusations.

“It was seasoned and cut up!” Chilchuck shouts, “We didn’t even eat all of it!”

Marcille nods rapidly, clutching the wood slat of food to her chest, “Yeah, we only had a little bit compared to how big it was!”

They scavenge the young and waste a beast as magnificent as the red dragon?

“We ate it because it ate my sister,” he’s still smiling.

A raucous chorus of his name is shrieked in protest.

Your breathing spikes, now certainly slick with sweat and chest thudding -- forget finally ending your hunger with them, how could they squander the red dragon? How could they still starve after eating such a large monster? Your palms find the floor, eyes flicking to the opening of the cavern.

When your gaze returns, Laios is staring at you. Wide amber eyes melting through your facade -- he knows, he must. How long has he known? Why not kill you as soon as he figured it out? Why lure you in?

The red one -Izutsumi- tilts its head at you, nose twitching. It smells the influx of sweat and dread.

You shoot up, opening your mouth for a husky growl, “Away… get… away…”

“I knew it!” Laios stands, “Oh, wow, I thought goatmen were extinct!”

He’s going to slice you open and they’ll eat you for fun. They won’t finish you. They’ll leave you for your maker to find.

“Goatman?!” Chilchuck wails, “You invited a goatman into the party?! Laios, I could strangle you!”

He’d kill his own ally?!

“So cool, though, and so far pretty harmless. I’ve heard they can be domesticated by feeding them brains every now and again.”

“Brain…” you shiver, flailing back into the wall, “No… Brain… No…”

Laios turns to Senshi with a preppy little smile, “It’s not an exact match, but the Barometz has something akin to a brain.”

These things are demons. No wonder your maker wants to devour them all.

Why eat a brain? You’d have to destroy the skull for that, and you need to keep the skull intact to steal a human’s face.

Senshi shrugs and hacks open the lamb’s skull with a loud crack, making you flinch back and yelp.

“First, chop the brain into four parts, season with olive oil and sprouts. Roll the brains in egg and wrap with bread. Normally you’d use crumbs or flour, but we’ll have to make due. Then fry in the pan with more oil over medium heat until…”

Laios snatches the brains from Senshi to shove onto your lap,

“It’s ready!”

FRIED LAMB BRAINS.

Senshi watches you carefully from beneath the shadow of his helmet. Meanwhile Marcille and Izutsumi are poised to attack with Chilchuck lingering in the very back. Those three are only additional to the presence of Laios, who looms above you with sword in hand. Eyes fiery with exhilaration, though he’s visibly ready to cut you down should you try escaping.

Your stomach echoes through the cavern. Drool pools and oozes through the gaps in your teeth, it smells good. So, with truly no other choice, you bring the fried brains to your mouth.

Oddly sweet, the juices are warm and electric on your tongue. You let out a soft hum and shovel more of the brains back. Again, you hum. You tip the wood slat and scoop all the meat down your gullet, licking the excess juices up and even sweeping crumbs into your mouth.

By the time your meal was picked clean, you felt something entirely new.

“Full…” you look up in amazement, wide eyed at Laios, “Full…”

A small hand cracks against Laios’ silver back, Chilchuck shouting in sharp, throaty tones that are completely unfamiliar to you. Laios frowns and murmurs about being sworn out in a foreign tongue.

Then Izutsumi yanks away, whipping her head back and forth, “Reeks in here!”

Chilchuck points at you, though is still glaring up at Laios, “And it smells!”

“Goatmen smell like goats,” Laios frowns.

Marcille hesitantly hangs a loose, thin blanket in front of you -- it takes you a moment to realize human skin is peeling off you in chunks. The faint scent of copper growing into a heavy, rotten stench of open carcass as you shed the woman’s skin. You’ve never prematurely ejected before. Normally, once you wear a person’s face you’re stuck there until it withers. Or you peel it off.

The smell gets so bad that Chilchuck and Izutsumi huff and storm to a neighboring hole in the cliff’s rockface. Marcille has to press her nose into the crook of her elbow, the sheet shaking as you stretch free from the woman’s body.

Unbeknownst to you, there is a silent battle between Marcille and Senshi. Until Laios, of course, breaks it.

“Why are you two glaring at each other?”

You rise to a stand, watching Marcille cast you a set of distrusting eyes before seething, “What should we do about it?”

“It ain’t doing anything wrong.”

“It’s a monster!” she turns suddenly towards Laios, “Didn’t you say all monsters are dangerous?!”

“They are,” Laios reaches towards his sword, squeezing the hilt and eyes sunken to the floor, “but it’s not like we were in real danger. Goatmen are pretty harmless in human forms.”

Marcille makes a startled groan behind clenched teeth, hands jerking out towards you.

“Fed goatmen are completely docile,” Laios reasons, “They only kill to eat. They’re more like an animal than a traditional monster.”

“So how do we know it won’t kill us when it gets hungry again?!”

Laios’ eyes seem to burst alight with stars, “Because we’ve fed it already! Before they were endangered some people would go down into dungeons just to domesticate and breed them for the surface. Once you prove yourself formidable and trustworthy, they’re pretty unwilling to try fighting you.”

“It can talk,” Senshi adds, “We can’t kill it just because.”

Marcille’s face goes red, a frustrated sigh leaving her lips, “It barely talks.”

You were taught words by your maker. He speaks with more clarity and ease than you do.

“It still talks,” Senshi doesn’t budge, “It ain't attacking either.”

For a moment, you contemplate killing these people.

Immediately, you’re repulsed by the mere thought. To see their soft faces and warm bodies torn open and to be smeared with their insides is so undesirable you heave. Brain rushing up your throat before you can swallow it down.

“Marcille live,” you caw, the woman looks up at you and you repeat yourself at her blank stare thinking she misunderstood you, “Want Marcille… alive…”

“Aw,” her coo is uneven, lips twitching in a way that, if you were better at reading people, would make you think she doesn’t trust you, “That’s actually kind of… nice?”

“I read they were loyal but I didn’t think the bonding process was so fast,” Laios marvels. Reaching out to lay a hand against your snout, he beams -- this has been a close second beast he’s dreamt of meeting. Number one still being a minotaur.

He’d been content to keep this interaction a daydream, since goatmen were thought extinct -- but look at you! Never had he thought something mythed to descend from demons could be so docile, and so…

“So cool…” Laios is boiling over with pure ecstasy as you tip your head down to fit more comfortably into his palm.

Senshi gathers the group’s remaining bags and announces he’ll re-settle camp with Chilchuck and Izutsumi. Although there’s a bonus pep in his step as he ponders jotting this whole day in his journal.

[zeevoidlight]

what's the deal with these two...

Seriously. Why is the suspicion and joking of their bromance even a thing that exists (outside of just shipping for shipping's sake and ppl making every male friendship a secretly frustrated gay relationship). Is it even a thing?

Do I ship Goku and Vegeta?... yes.. yes I do, I confess myself as part of the problem. But I feel is fair that in a show like Dragon Ball where there's sexually mature references and themes at times I can give myself the freedom to wonder. So i'mmana talk about two pivotal moments that marked a before and after for both of them together as a team: their Majin saga match and the fusion.

//////

As far as the show goes, there's not really much to go off of. They clearly both have their wives whom they both love very much, children, they love to battle and test themselves, they are bros (now at least), rivals for life, they better each other by challenging one another to get better.

On the other hand my autism tells me that that's not the whole story. Because I normally don't like to take things at face value when i can see more.

Is interesting to see how both, Goku's compassion and respect for Vegeta, and Vegeta's (albeit unhealthy) obsession over Goku, the fact that they were also the last of their kind and the only ones that could compete with each other to fight between themselves and against others (discounting Gohan since he always slacked on his training and wasn't really interested on fighting), the only ones that could understand how the other felt as being pure blooded, that Goku had a living example in Vegeta of his true origins to learn more about himself (like a walking Saiyan enciclopedia), that Vegeta had in Goku a new purpose in life (until he realized what he had with his family as well), all of that with time combined to create a dynamic where they both felt comfortable with each other, it made them be naturally closer than the rest of the cast (even if it was in rivalry terms). They famously became companions, with time forming friendship/friendly rivalry and some could even see them now being akin to brothers. Something that as much as Krilin was Goku's life long friend and will be forever he could never really fulfill all that Vegeta came to develop with Goku. And in a way I don't think anyone can either.

But there's also an important note to make about this relationship/friendship. Vegeta is the one that gives it more meaning than Goku does (at first). I feel like Goku is simply being his loving caring happy free self, while Vegeta takes it personal and takes so much weight on what Goku says and does and how it affects him (like Goku is just vibing while Vegeta is oozing jealousy towards Goku). As he later puts in words in Super (Granola arc i think), Goku is an egotist while he himself is an egocentric. And that difference is important to get to the point because from now on for a while the question is "Why does Vegeta".

Why does Vegeta put so much weight in their fight in the Majin Saga that he's willing to kill innocent people again just to have a match with Goku (going with the latin dub again since is more accurate to the original japanese one). And it isn't just about his ego, is about what he doesn't say as well.

Why is Vegeta the only character that is so against fusion, with Goku specifically because he has only fused with him and we don't know how would he react to fusing with someone else if it's needed.

Why is Vegeta so averse to touching Goku. At least after their fight and after him dying in the Majin Saga and once he is allowed to go back to Earth.

Why on the brink of the universe destruction was Vegeta acting like a cheated on girlfriend when he discovered that Goku had a new transformation and didn't told him about it (I would be mad at him too to be fair but i also understand why Goku wouldn't want to do so and he did it to not hurt Vegeta's feelings and have a good time under fair conditions. he gets half a point for the sentiment).

The Majin Saga

From all the examples people like to pull up when trying to argument sexual tension between these two there's only a few that I feel have some significance. And I can tell you when did it cooked enough to be a possibility. And that is right when Goku announced he was going to go back to Earth for one day and one day only, presumably forever. That's where something started, but it was brewing since Goku died to Cell and Vegeta lost Goku, his purpose, his obsession, his will to fight, and entered a depressive episode that lasted 2 years (aprox, since Bulma tells Chichi that Vegeta had been training for the last 5 years in the 7 year time skip). He honestly was a mess of a person right around that time. He couldn't even call himself a warrior under his own standards, he was trying to cope with the fact that he messed up with future Trunks and would have to change with his own present Trunks, he got stuck not being able to prove himself, etc.

Once he knew Goku was coming back he just had to do anything in his power to fight against him again, no matter what it took (he looks so excited too, that's cute). His entire meaning as the person he perceived he was and his meaning as a warrior and Goku's foil depended on it. He actually was in good terms with Goku up to here though (while in the Cell saga he was pretty much amicably antagonizing Goku for the most part, and the other spent feeling jealous). Agreeing to the tournament rules, being patient, enjoying meals together, bragging about his kid. But after realizing that they might not have their match because of Supreme Kio's pink menace, nothing else mattered, not Bulma, not Trunks, not the Earth or the universe or everything he had been building for so many years without Goku. Goku was the single catalyst for his relapse. Like... how is it possible that fighting with him and proving his worth is more important that it's been a rock in his boots for years now. But ok, he's a warrior so I can understand why, also because he was going through a Major (with capital M) identity crisis where he's trying to negate his newfound value in his family and new home while thinking that is what was making him weak, though he never really believed that since he knew Goku never needed to be cruel to surpass him, it was just a jolt reaction to not knowing how to handle it, and Goku could see through that very clearly by asking him if he really believed that bs about feeling good by being cruel and being a slave of his own mind.

But the thing is that during their fight it is clear that more than winning (which he would have enjoy to no end if they finished their fight and Goku didn't had a new plot convenient powerup hiding under his eyebrows again, though that wouldn't have helped him to grow), both were very much enjoying the act of fighting (since Goku said he wanted to end the fight soon so Buu doesn't get the energy but he didn't because he could have used Ssj3 and end it quite fast), Vegeta fighting against his previous rival now a bit more than that, Kakarot. Battling with him in perfect synchrony in an equal fight because what Vegeta actually wanted with the Majin Magic was to close the powergap and convince himself he had an excuse to not feel remorse because of the magic. And i say that because before Goku dying to Cell he really saw him as competition, but after he lost him i feel that alongside his remorse and embarrassment for the disaster that was that saga, in part because of his gigantic ego, he must have felt alone, now truly being the last pure blooded Saiyan alive and not in condition to call himself a warrior anymore under his own standards. And although he had Gohan, which he respected a lot because of his courage and his immense power, it was not the same since Gohan is a pacifist and didn't had the same passion for fighting like a pure blooded Saiyan so he wasn't even training. So by the time of the Majin Saga and once Goku came into the picture again I think he subconsciously regarded him differently and he ends up realizing it during their fight (although he doesn't vocalize it).

During their fight there's a specific moment. After Goku throws Vegeta to a cliff-side and he makes a hole in it to liberate himself with his ki, Goku comes to him and they both get very close just floating in the air and powering up, looking at each other. Vegeta is beyond pissed, Goku taking the fight very seriously. Then Goku smiles to Vegeta challenging him and showing he's enjoying their fight, and Vegeta relaxes for a moment changing his attitude and showing a smile back to him in empathy, sharing to him that he is enjoying it too and wants to challenge him back as well.

This whole fight is Goku's way to show Vegeta how much he actually cares about him and his well being despite what Vegeta might have believed up until then, how much he respects him as a warrior and an equal too, even risking Earth and Majin Buu's return. He did the unthinkable and menaced Kaio Shin with death if he dared to stop their fight, which Vegeta sure noticed and even reacted with complete disbelief. As Supreme Kaiosama says to Gohan and the others in the wasteland: "we cannot do anything about it. Fight until you can calm your hearts", because even Kaio Shin knew that they weren't going to actually kill themselves, they just had to talk (while fighting).

I know a lot of people joke about Vegeta being a repressed homosexual (or technically bisexual because y'know there's Bulma) because of his legendary obsession with Goku, and i'm not saying he is, but this fight is charged with sexual tension, mostly on his part, among other things of course. And is interesting that Vegeta, ever since the Namek experience (which was the first time in his life he was emotionally vulnerable to the point of breaking entirely), is the most emotionally fragile of the bunch and an unstable character. He feels everything very intensely like an open wound, and reacts in the same way while trying to hide under a curtain of pride, ego and his title of Prince (I mean, he's the one that actually openly cries the most out of frustration after Namek, just for starters).

Goku knew what he was getting into by agreeing to fight with Vegeta. He wasn't going to just let them set the score, he was going to give Vegeta the most intense therapy session ever by letting him discharge all that literal energy and anger, guiding him through his thoughts, playing by Vegeta's rules. Help him overcome whatever he had been brewing in his mind since they day they met thinking on where was the moment everything went wrong for years, so he could move forward...

And then... this happens...

... I don't think anyone expected something like this to even be a thing that he could do as a power that we will only see one time ever in the entirety of the show from him and is in here, lol. And not long ago I watched a semi abridged semi analysis commentary video on the fight and yeah, we coincide that there was something else going on here at the same time. Vegeta got a little too excited... He got rock hard by too much adrenaline (or testosterone, endorphins... i know science ok?), lol. And I didn't mentioned it but being that Saiyans were a warrior culture there exists some real life relation of warrior societies (like greeks, romans, spartans, norse, some aztec societies) and homoerotic practices as part of that philosophy and way of life. Fighting is everything and everything revolves around fighting. And finding a brother in arms could develop into something else (call it love or getting physical or whatever) out of admiration, or from hyper-masculinity with the purpose of dominating the other and demonstrating power by physically making every other man your peach and the others are like "wow, a man dominating a man? that's so mainly". And i'm not saying that that was part of Saiyan culture, just that there might be some similarities with what we're seeing.

There's a fine line between pain and pleasure, hate and love, fear and excitement, rivalry and attraction. And in moments of intensity where both opposite feelings collide can produce an equally intense and confusing response. We know for sure Saiyans by nature often confuse fear an excitement, and rivalry with attraction at least, like Goku when he confesses his motives and feelings on his first fight with Vegeta. And here Vegeta is going through a rollercoaster of emotions, and given that he is the most emotionally charged character it can go all places.

So, Vegeta tells Goku if he pretends to defeat him quickly as he said, Goku responds that he's trying to do that, and Vegeta asks if he thinks he can do it *slap slap* (the disrespect). He's trying to provoke him but the way he does it is kinda similar to what you'd do in a sexual encounter since he's not really hurting him too badly (which is really funny). And I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking about anything sexual, just pure anger towards our buddy Kakarot, that doesn't change the fact that he did just lost his marbles to blind rage and wasn't thinking at all, just feeling intensely and acting freely on it. "Listen... don't you think this is enough humiliation I got from your part *hit hit punch hit*. This attacks are not enough to set the score. How is it possible that a Prince of Saiyans, that possesses such a great pride, was humiliated by a warrior like you (In the English version there's a series of flashbacks with dialogue but that's not a thing in the japanese and latin version so he continues...). What saddens me the most is that you saved my life, worm (he's referring to way back in the saiyan saga when they first met since for a warrior is way worse offense to get their death in battle denied since he now has to suffer all what he's been through for the simple fact of having been spared=being an embarrassment). You deserve to die! I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm...".

((You got this guy having Goku in all tied up to a rock, legs spread out, slapping Goku in the face, talking about "not being enough humiliation", and saying "this attacks are not enough", all emotionally charged and intense with his obsession of a rival, high in endorphins and adrenaline, from a warrior culture, that even back in the day I was like OH MY GOOOOD!? What is he going to DO?!!... He wouldn't do it, would he?... The Buu saga was a return to form to OG DB's general feeling and tone, and if it was OG DB this scene would be absolutely interpreted as having that kind of hidden meaning even if nothing would have actually end up happening, though is still a very bold move in terms of sexual themes, just like that scene in OG DB with Bulma and the two RR soldiers. I was sweating cold, that when I heard him say "I'll break you to pieces right now! I'll start with the arm" I was like OH THANK GOODNESS he's just going to mutilate him... NO, WAIT...)) (also, notice that Vegeta is technically fighting a ghost because Goku is already dead).

Unfortunately for Goku though Vegeta didn't share the safe word and he had to free himself so he wasn't actually dismembered by the intensity of Prince Vegeta and they continued their fight, once again Goku leveling the field into a in a less emotionally charged more equal fight all things considered (while also mutually complimenting their fighting prowess). They talk again and Vegeta admits to him that he understands that he's never going to surpass him because Goku is more skilled at fighting, now getting into the real meat of the matter with him and his frustrations.

We get to Vegeta almost breaking in tears again, torn by the realization of his situation confessing all about how he wants to be who he was as a warrior and how he cannot cope with his new life on Earth having all this new feelings for his family and being passive that make him feel like he is not himself. That he wants to be ruthless like before because what the hell is even being anything else, that's a thing of weaklings. Which tells a lot about how he still doesn't know how to function outside of conflict and his deeply rooted self image since childhood. I mean... this kid (Vegeta) doesn't know anything other than living in conflict, constant stress, anger, and feeling in danger all the time before and during Frieza. He was around 31 years old when he could finally be free. And to me it says that it almost feels to him like he's afraid of disappearing as an individual if he cannot go back to being something he recognizes and is familiar with as he doesn't recognize himself being something else underneath of what he's saying. A who that is completely opposite to what he has ever known. Is something some people that had lived through a deeply traumatic upbringing experience. On top of it being a Saiyan it must have been really confusing and difficult because their nature and culture is nothing like that of earthlings, Saiyan's are naturally built to fight, but Goku is the only one that could probably understand that in some capacity as pure blooded Saiyan that managed to adapt to Earth. That's why he is the only person Vegeta can trust with this information, and because Vegeta genuinely trusts him. With no one else he has this level of openness, probably not even with Bulma.

And i love how Goku doesn't give up on him though after everything and he is still willing to listen and help. Without his help here Vegeta wouldn't have confronted and put into words his reality to later internalize it and fully embrace his love for his family, fully embrace his feelings, giving Trunks later his first hug. That was all Goku's doing.

Of course things happened since they were still in the middle of total annihilation at the hands of the strongest pink ball of bubblegum. and from this fight and his explosive sacrifice/ acceptance of his destiny, going forward Vegeta actually starts acting a little different. A lot more relaxed with Kakarot, more open and sincere, more focused on helping than competing, more agreeable (without betraying his character though) and no longer ignoring or being embarrassed of his feelings for his loved ones (like we see when he gets convinced by Goku to do the fusion using Vegeta's love for Bulma). And I'm pretty sure he felt grateful and in debt to him. Not only for his help with unjumbling his feelings during that fight but for everything he's done for him since the day Goku spared his life way back in the day (as we see him asking to Piccolo if he'll get to see Goku in the afterlife just before he sacrifices). A real true honest best friend/rival for life (like we see evident in the movie Fusion Reborn, which is supposed to happen after his sacrifice in an alternate timeline where both Goku and Vegeta die and Gohan is the one that defeats Buu).

Though he still was being a bit stubborn about wanting to fight Buu himself in the anime, but in the manga he just doesn't charge head first into trying to battle him, he just doesn't like the idea of fussing with Kakarot.

Then the fusion thing...

The thing about the fusion is that Vegeta usually never wants to do it because he's embarrassed by the dance (which yeah... that's absolutely fair) but this is not the metamoran one, is the Potara, and they don't need to dance. His usual complains then change to "I just don't like to be fused with him" or "I don't like the idea of uniting bodies with him" when they have to do it later (either in canon or movie, though the "I don't like to use shortcuts to fight" frequently comes as a reason but is always after they already did the fusion). And I don't know how doing a fusion with someone would feel like but the Potara at least has two ways it can go. For the Kaios just one person becomes the main, getting some physical characteristics and power of the other, and the other becomes dormant, just one person gets to be conscious. But for mortals, both actually remain conscious and they both "live" inside the body of each other as one new combined persona who is a combined identity, mixing mentally and physically, sharing memories, thoughts, feelings, everything in unison either the other wants it or not because when they are fused they are cooperating in a single brain so they think the same under this persona even if later they have separate thoughts on the same thing when they un-fuse. One example of how the logic of it is is in the Super Super Hero movie, where right after the battle with Cell Max Gotenks makes a comment to Bulma and she says "that was Trunks, wasn't it?!", and Gotenks panics and they separate, implying that even if it's a combined identity they still are conscious inside separately and can "influence" their thoughts to act more like so or so, like there's a dominant consciousness guiding the other at times. The fusion is even better actually if they are rivals because they get the rival boost. So is not too crazy to think that some would consider it a very intimate act, even more because is permanent (until the retcon), which Goku is so considerate to tell Vegeta at the very last minute and he's like "WTF!" and Goku is just down with it while Vegeta is regretting ever meeting this guy but does it anyways.

And we have seen other characters combine but they don't think much about it, Trunks and Goten specifically just find it fun because they are best friends and just think about having the time of their lives beating up the bad guys. But I think Vegeta specifically does feel like it's something too personal and intimate that requires a lot his will power to do. His concept of it is different for a lot of reasons that all derive from being a very reserved person in general in many aspects, so he is trusting his entire being and accepting opening to Goku here, and to a degree loose control of himself in an give-and-take act, because he is not silly like Goku but under the fusion he is going to be and act silly alongside him because there's no me and you under it, even switch his brain into feeling it's natural. Same with Goku and being more cruel and mock their opponent more even if he usually would feel is something he wouldn't do.

Ultimately and reluctantly Vegeta agrees for the sake of his loved ones and saving his new home, which is wild to me because he does sacrifices everything he is with the fusion being permanent since just a few hours ago he was just accepting himself as an individual. The pressure was really high.

Goku certainly didn't thought much about it though, just another way to become even stronger by cooperating with someone in a new way for the purpose of saving Earth, and simply not loose the battle for the sake of not loosing itself. He considered his options with others purely strategically without thinking what it could mean outside of that for him as an individual in that moment, because he did understood that if he fused with Gohan for example he thought for a moment if that would mean he would have to go to Gohan's school after they win, but in that moment he was definitely panicking for options just to win the battle and then later he could think about the consequences, as always (he was seriously considering fusing with Mr Satan permanently at the lack of strategic options! How desperate and out of your mind can you get!).

Out of all people it was better if it's Vegeta when he detected his ki of course, because the power boost is much greater to save the Earth and he considers him different at this point, someone he likes better as a selfless guy after his valiant sacrifice. He's so excited when Vegeta accepts because it means so much, it's the demonstration to Goku of his turn to an actual good guy, fighting for others and not just himself, and he's so proud. And the result of the fusion is this very playful, sassy confident and cocky warrior that we all know and love because is the best thing ever and I don't have Vegetto favoritism.

But something did changed in both of them after the fusion. I know is an anime only thing for better pacing (at least until Super came and made it a thing again in small ways of its own), but after the fusion thing Goku started to unnecessarily get into Vegeta's personal space more (I mean, I don't think there's anything more intimate than fussing and you'd have to get a level of trust and understanding with that other person like with no one else ever afterwards regardless). Like, I like that when they do the cheek to cheek attack, which again was completely unnecessary, Vegeta feels dirty about it, even muttering to himself "He's an opportunist...(as in like, Goku was sexuality taking advantage of him) I would have preferred the fusion" and Goku asks him is he's finished blasting Buu bits and Vegeta recoils and yells "Don't get close to me!". (In the manga there's not really that much fuss about it when they separate, they just get to work and directly from separating to Buu's brain).

The fusion represents the pinnacle of their growth together as fighting partners (and partners in general). Probably even more than that at this point for how much they share as rivals and how much they understand about each other above any other person, including their own wives in some regards for all they have gone through on things only they can share between themselves like their love for battle.

And if they both were friendly before while still keeping their cards up, now is when they start to act more like brothers and cooperating. Goku with his power and techniques and Vegeta with his strategic planing at the end of the Buu saga. Goku even becomes more playful with Vegeta, even sharing funny moments together. And as pointed out, I believe the fusion made them know the thinking, memories and intentions of the other to a degree.

This is the turning point for Goku as well regarding accepting his heritage as Saiyan. Because from then on he also accepts the values of the Saiyans as warriors (when before he would be more likely against it) and accepts feeling pleasure in having a good fair honorable fight without aid and relying only in his strength and talent just for the thrill he gets of it (much like what he felt as a child/teen), which he demonstrates by breaking the second pair of Potara earrings while Vegeta responds by telling him that he's so proud of him for going into the fight the Saiyan way. Also from then on others start to recognize Goku fully as a Saiyan (so much is the influence Vegeta has had on him that in the Super Broly movie Goku introduces himself to Broly, a fellow Saiyan, as Kakarot first over Goku).

Now, about Vegeta with the fusion, if he wasn't too sure about the fusion first, now every time the fusion is required he almost feels violated by the suggestion (which right before the kid Buu fight he actually didn't mind fusing again and kinda wanted it in the anime while this wasn't in the manga but ok). And of course, if he didn't had much thoughts on getting close and personal with Goku when battling because it meant nothing (like the arm riding in the Saiyan saga and their almost gory bondage session prior), now he recoils from him in certain situations (it... also didn't help that the first time they fuse they went dick first...).

Also also, there's a moment in the manga when Goku is fighting kid Buu in Ssj3 where Vegeta tells Goku that he guessed Goku was fighting overtime because he never intended for Vegeta to have his turn (because if he dies he dies for real), and Goku says that is not that, that he is just looking for an opportunity to reunite his power for at least a minute, and Vegeta gets all tsundere, blushes and says "So... So you weren't doing it to protect me?!..." (lol, well, here's the latin translation but you get the idea)

And onto Super, they made this thing about Goku asking Vegeta to grab his hand in order to instant transmission but Goku knows very well that's not necessary, he could have said to Vegeta to grab his shoulder like others do but he wants him to grab his hand, and Vegeta gets all flustered and nervous every time as if people are going to make fun of him for being gay or something (since we are told by the Pilaf gang that holding hands is very romantic and a sign of being a couple, and something to be embarrassed about, although from a childish perspective of course but this information was set up for the audience when Trunks wanted to hold hands with Mai). Like... Goku, do you have something to share as well?

They later spent 3 years in the hyperbolic chamber at Goku's request... 3 years together just sparing in a void where there's nothing but infinity and them! (At most they had spent not even two weeks of net interaction prior to that in all the years they have known each other, mostly just in times of conflict and as enemies/rivals/competition, and now they'll spend three years doing what they both love to do the most in friendly terms getting to know each other, just the two of them, are you kidding me?!!) which again, it wasn't really necessary because as Vegeta points out that wasn't going to make much of a difference in terms of power because they are at their limit of what their bodies can achieve by just fighting, and three years is a bit too much. And Bulma even got jealous/angry about Vegeta accepting the invitation. I know Goku went around asking a lot of other people the same request before him, but also everyone in the room (well Bulma and Piccolo) suddenly were paying A LOT of attention in that moment he asked Vegeta and what was he going to answer.

And then! They come out like they did? Matching beards? Truly looking like Spartans for real?! I kinda want to wonder how that came to be. A dare? They broke the razor or what. Obviously the implication is that they got so into their fighting that they just forgot basic higiene those last days but like... I don't even have to try...

It's become such a well known thing that there's something going on that even in official material (not canon exactly but official) acknowledges it. Maybe Goku knows something we don't since the fusion happened but it goes a little beyond just a joke from his part XD.

And i haven't talked about it because contrary to Vegeta Goku is very straightforward, but Goku has no shame or filter. He does seem to display asexual tendencies, but he's either oblivious to sexual stuff at times and how it affects others, or does it on purpose because he feels not much about it but does know how it affects others. So that cheek to cheek attack could have been Goku being oblivious, or Vegeta was right and Goku took advantage of the situation to get close to Vegeta on purpose. He's also known since always to not really care about the social conventions of things. He's a good guy, but he's also reckless, impulsive at times, and if he wants something he'll just get it without thinking of what are others going to think about it.

In GT there's actually not too much, they just remain companions and friends for life...(Is just so cute and fulfilling seeing them being like brothers). Vegeta again reminiscing of everything they've gone through and accepting his role in the powerscale and being very freaking cute with Bulma, being such a dad and all. The highlight is the fusion again though, where Vegeta is the one that says he wants to do the fusion "So what have you decided, Kakarot. Are we going to do the fusion or not", to which Goku just laughs and Vegeta is like "what are you laughing at", and Goku responds saying that "I'm not laughing, I just feel happy because is the first time you ask ME to do the fusion", and Vegeta is just averts his eyes and says "I hate you...", lol.

Of course, the bromance tones might be just fanservice (I didn't knew that in shonen is actually very common but if it is that way I'd argue is exactly because of these two since they were the OGs). But either if there's something or not I don't really care much about that. Because as characters I have seen them grow so much and they have learn so much about themselves and each other that them possibly being into each other might as well be just another aspect they allow themselves to explore if they're down with it, with whatever canon or the anime presents us to see and guess, just like they have with their own families, wives, form friendships, discover new feelings, ways of thinking, how they have become stronger and how they have change the people around them, meta speaking as well. Because it does feel natural for them, like it didn't came out of nowhere or out of purely fanservice (which it kind of is but it does make sense). Either they are just friends, honorary brothers or something more I'm happy with who they have become thanks to each other. And the trust they have for each other is what is beautiful to see reflected. I'm so proud of them and what they have achieved. Now they are inseparable as the best duo in history.

And in my conclusions I would say that Vegeta might feel something towards Goku for how much he has helped him and how he has come to admire and respect him in levels unimaginable... in a spartan kinda way if you like and if he ever was down with it. And Goku is just Goku. He loves in a storge kind of way because that's what he does. He knows Vegeta to a T, knows what he needs, and wants him to be happy as well and become the better version of himself, to feel comfortable and feel loved too because he admires him as well, and if he can help him he will do so. Is not really a physical sexual attraction (which doesn't mean it cannot derive on one if you want and as we've seen, specially with Goku) but there IS attraction and love in a different way.

[comicaurora]

Just a quick question as someone who is well-meaning but just a little confused about the kindle thing:

is it just the filesize of the pages that's the problem w/ downloading? I'm not sure what the difference between dl-ing up front or while reading would be from a hosting perspective. (unless ppl are actually wanting every page at once instead of like a few chapters' worth)

Sorry if all this is annoying, I'm just trying to better understand the problem. I don't mean to bother, so if it's not something you want to talk abt, then that's completely fair.

I guess the thing I keep snagging on is that it's not at all what I intended for the comic and it's not what the site is optimized for. My site follows an extremely normal webcomic format, the tumblr mirror has multiple pages in each post if people need improved loadtimes, and I'm getting kind of thrown that people are suddenly asking for it to be in a completely different offline format? A webcomic has "web" right in the name. It doesn't work that way, it hasn't worked that way the entire time the comic has existed, and frankly, while the intent was definitely not malicious, being asked "hey I'm having a lot of trouble pirating your work, you should make it easier for me" feels Weird And Bad for reasons I would assume are self-evident.

From my side of things, I'm hoping to get Aurora physically published in the future, and physical publication these days usually also goes hand in hand with an ebook release. Publishers already need convincing why they should physically publish something that exists for free online. If I jerry-rigged a downloadable ebook version myself, why would a publisher go to the effort to do it for me? It'd be like self-publishing the book first and then asking them to pay to do it all over again. I would very much like to not fuck up the publishing thing and that means I'm not touching anything a publisher would want to do.

Aurora is entirely free. It has no affiliated patreon, and after a brief run and some laughably poor policy management from google's ad plugin, the site no longer has any ads. I'm not saying this to guilt anyone - just to contextualize why, after finally completing the work of four and a half years of my life that I shared 100% freely with the world for the sheer love of creation and the profound joy it gave me to see people fall in love with this story I care so deeply about, why it sucks that people immediately, not even 24 hours after the final page of arc 1 goes up, start complaining that it doesn't exist in a nice little bundle on all platforms on and offline.

I promise it's not a big deal, but it's not a pleasant experience either.

[biibini]

Hii!! After mizu graduates college, what type of job do you think she'd have? Would it have to do with sports or maybe something way different? (I absolutely love your writing and headcanons !! 🩷🩷)

modern!mizu post-college life headcanons

tags: post-grad life, engineering mizu, stable work life, a woman in stem, moving in with reader, basketball with mizu, mizu join fencing club, peaceful post-grad life (the dream)

a/n: ngl the thought of post-college life is tripping me out,,, im a junior in college rn and the thought of it just kinda doesnt?? exist?? also ive heard too much info from my friends' rants ab their engineering degrees and switching majors from mechanic to electrical back to mechanical engineering,, theyre fucking nuts

modern!mizu would prob be in the engineering sector of jobs

wooo stem baby (i am a digital marketing major i should not be talking)

bc hello?? money???

also let’s use that mechanical engineering degree to good use

she didn’t leave home for nothing

with her technical skills from eiji

modern!mizu would probably be a CAD engineer

CAD aka computer aided design

technically speaking, it would allow her to work from home or hybrid

and she can easily transfer her mechanical and on-hand knowledge to a digital format

like she’s smart yall

she just got some troubles w procrastination

but dont we all?

(coping so hard)

this job would also allow her free time and flexible hours to do her job

and i feel like modern!mizu opts for a good work-life balance

if she wishes, she can take the day off snd just go out with u or go to the gym

the freedom of choice while staying comfortable at home?

sign her tf up

she can have her tea time, gym time, spending time w u time, and her self care time

the self care in question: enjoying the silence

and realistically, its a well paying job thatll keep her and u afloat while helping eiji financially if need be

modern!mizu hopes her work and smarts can help her provide for others and herself

its ab time she doesnt let herself depend on a man for money

yeah thats a fuck u to u, m*k*o

shes made the mistake once

shes not gonna make it again

just bc postgrad modern!mizu isnt in sports doesnt mean she’ll stop playing

she needs to get her exercise and movement some way some form

basketball with taigen

and always aim for the three-pointers

and is successful most of the time

and then proceed to aim for the half court shots

and fail most times

fencing with eiji whenever shes back home

she’ll def try to teach u

and its fun at first but

she wants to stretch her wings out

modern!mizu would prob join a fencing club

it would be a great for her to fully practice and spar

not just against her old man

or go soft w u

but also go against ppl her age

modern!mizu would move into a place w u

nothing grand but a small apartment where u could refresh and build the place to be ur own

ringo is a good friend

a true best friend she could trust

but it was time to move in w u

and not be wary of ringo hearing u when he comes home

modern!mizu would be more adventurous in hobbies

yeah she has basketball and fencing and her tea collection

but now she has a stable job

no need to worry about grades

and just to live life one step at a time

she would probably try out pottery with u

definitely practice her cooking with ringo's and ur help

all in all, a very patient life

(she deserves it)