#and then lose energy and motivation
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we keep telling ourselves our creativity, motivation and energy will come back and it still has barely done so !!!! really need it to !!!!!!
#seriously we've been having blocks for practically everything#no motivation or energy for a majority of the things we feel like doing#woodburning#clay figurines#sketching#painting#crafting#crochet#we can barely keep a show going#but we were fine like a month back??#its like we start something#and then lose energy and motivation#half way through it#even the things we love#just no energy#we wanna make things so bad#but we just can't
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SINCE HARDCORE IS NEXT THEORETICALLY THEYD NOW BE ABLE TO SEE THE WORLDPORT- BC ICARUS COULD SEE IT SINCE AT THE TIME THEY WERE NEXT (SHERB MENTIONED THAT IN THE QUIXIS TELL ALL STREAM)
LIKELIKELIKELIKE LONG WAY DOWN THE LINE SHERBERT GOES BACK TO THE END FOR WHATEVER REASON AND THEY END UP IN THE WORLDPORT BC BIT DIMENSIONAL JUMP JUST FOR A SPLIT SECOND
AND ICARIXIS IS LIKE "OH WHY ARE YOU HERE GO BACK I HAVENT CALLED YOU HERE YET" THEN SHERBERT LEAVES BC YEAH AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#sherbverse#sherbertverse#sherbertquake56#hardcore sherbert#kai likes hardcore#did you know that they liked hardcore#losing my mind#who gave kai the braincell someone take it back i don't have the motivation to write all these thoughts PLEASE#yes I have energy Im sorry for screaming at you all
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this is still my most favorite hoop i've ever done....
#i can't believe i made this. i miss that energy. it took me months bc i would lose the motivation and it was annoying me so much...#i remember angrily stitching like stabbing my needle into the fabric#but it was all worth it. sighs i miss my embroidery era#instagram kind of killed it for me. stressed me out. so i just stopped#omg the keychains were so much fun to make though. painting the mini hoops. sticking it all together#.....im looking at the stiches again. MINISCULE. embroidery takes so so so long my god. it really did take months
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your husband's scary, xie li- um, i mean, dianxia *nervous laughter*
[id in alt]
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hualian comic#tgcf comic#hualian comics#xie lian#hua cheng#tgcf comics#heaven official's blessing#tgcf fanart#hualian fanart#san lang#dan draws#first time im doing something like this. but i just HAD to that scene cracked me up so bad#its not word for word bcs by the time i found it in text id lose all motivation and also i wanted to add my interpretation#ANYHOW i did this all in one go and im so so proud of it but also my hand is dying and im starving#sry that there's only id in alt for now i have NO energy to make a proper ID now#if i have the energy in the future ill do it#i also wanted to do something fun w/o colour bcs im not happy w my last colour tryout and i got frustrated#so just 'b&w' art is necessary for me to pat myself on the back#first time drawing tgcf chars too!!! not how id draw them in an illustration but i like it. it came out cute
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#⭐️rving#anor3c1a#⭐️ve#€d blog#college blogging#⭐️ ing motivation#@tw edd#aesthetic#lose weight fast#anamotivation#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#analog#ed twt#ed tag#energy drink#hungry#low calorie meals#weight loss diet#light as a feather
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some great bluish bakeoff stuff!
nickel later apologizes this episode; it's prompted by balloon's confrontation, but clearly nickel was in the mindset to apologize. the fact that he didn't raise the issue himself shows how he's still really afraid of how balloon would react. at the same time, though, he's acknowledging that "standing up for what [is] right" is important and good, even if it doesn't necessarily have the most beneficial outcome; notice how this not only shows how he accepts and understands balloon's anger towards him over the past few episodes (which had the consequence of losing them the challenge and getting bot eliminated), but also suitcase's anger towards him in the latter half of ii2 (which had the consequence of destroying their alliance).
in this episode, blueberry is assuming a role that has previously been taken by nickel and, more recently, silver spoon: he has placed himself at the top of the pecking order, calling all the shots, forcing everyone to roll with his punches. now everyone's in the same position balloon has been for a lot of his time in ii. silver, in throwing the chariot (:nerd emoji: actually a litter, they use the wrong word) at blueberry, is taking a stand against him -- announcing his frustration from being treated poorly.
for the longest time, balloon had "stay[ed] away from the thorns": beating around the bush, not bringing up the hard stuff, so he could maintain his positive relationship with nickel (and by extension his sense of having actually changed, which is linked with that that relationship represents) and not face his inevitable aggressive snap-back. but, though these proverbial thorns are painful, touching them helps him actually move ahead of all of that discomfort. balloon took a stand against nickel recently, which he was justified in doing, expressing his anger at nickel for both what he did and his denial of doing it -- and nickel harshly bit back about what balloon had done a while ago. balloon touched the thorn, and got the pain.
now, when nickel is yet again dancing around the problem, balloon's frustration returns. and, as silver took a stand against blueberry (which nickel supported), balloon channels his frustration and takes his own stand: technically also against blueberry, in trying to get himself and the others to the challenge before blueberry (thereby denying the domination he has imposed), but the drive itself came from nickel. he knows touching the thorns is painful, but that it's important and good. he should stand up for himself, and he does. he literally pokes himself with a thorn, and that literally sends him and the others ahead.
for the sake of this analogy/symbolic framework, it's worth noting how they are pushed forward because of the thorn, but there's still baggage: they fly through the desert only to crash, losing all of their ingredients. at this point, though, balloon's not going to let the pain of the thorn prevent him from touching it. balloon will keep standing up for himself, even if he keeps facing setbacks and pushbacks, because he knows what he deserves.
you can imagine that when balloon confronted nickel in this episode, he was expecting the same old same old: he'd say what he's mad about, and nickel would shut him down. but he doesn't. nickel listens to him. nickel lets balloon be angry at him, lets himself face the guilt he needs to feel. balloon is able to be mad at nickel without their relationship automatically going up in flames like before. and balloon is shocked! but will he forgive nickel? what'll he say? ...well, they're taken by tyler bombard before balloon could say anything...
for all this talk of the thorn, where's the blossom? well, here it is. thematic parallels indeed! recall how balloon misunderstanding "flour" as "flower" contributed to the grand slams losing the cooking challenge in ii2, which likely added fuel to the fire of nickel's hatred towards him -- now that same flower and that same misunderstanding is a representation of their friendship: it is what remains after the pain of the thorn. balloon finding value in this meager flower and presenting it to mephone at all (thereby insisting that it has value) is what wins them all the challenge. the flower and its beauty are not just a reward for the pain of the thorn, but a product of that pain.
balloon still hasn't responded to nickel's apology, because he hasn't had the chance to... but in disputing tyler's happiness about blueberry's death, balloon both recognizes his own attempt to change as well as nickel's: attempting that change is also a thorn, a very painful one (it literally killed blueberry), and both nickel and balloon have recognized the changes the other has tried to make and has succeeded in making. nickel is very reassured by this.
and as a final flower, a final reward for balloon's persistence in standing up for himself and what he believes in, balloon is chosen as the sole recipient of the immunity cookie -- silver spoon, someone with both a history of selfishness and a history of putting others below him, is the one to make this decision. balloon is finally being recognized, genuinely, for the changes he's made.
notably, balloon never accepts nickel's apology: no, he accepts that nickel is trying to make up for what he did. and, knowing from personal experience how hard it is to make that change and be acknowledged for making it, balloon is there to support him through it, and help him realize that he can be better -- and balloon is still on that "trek" himself, as we know balloon still has a lot of flaws to work through. they both know they have to touch the thorn, but they're all the more motivated to do so because they have a beautiful flower as well:
their genuine friendship.
...
balloon continues to be very charitable with blueberry, even as blueberry is critical of himself. nickel is also charitable -- telling blueberry to "just be nicer to people" implies that he believes that such a change is possible -- though of course he expresses this in his typical snarky way.
blueberry, though, doesn't believe that he can change, just like nickel used to. no matter how much balloon and nickel believe in him, he himself has to realize he has the capacity to improve before he can actually do it.
#melonposting#inanimate insanity#ii#ii3#ii nickel#ii balloon#ii blueberry#<- speaking of blueberry. i used to call him a taco copy in a negative way because i thought his villain arc was random#but now he's like taco in a different way. he kind of pulled a taco but in the laziest way possible#taco got through to the end by pretending to be endearingly stupid so she can reveal her true plans and enact them#blueberry on the other hand did so by losing immediately and rejoining at the last second#the only effort he put in from that point on was to either make the most out of his opportunity to win#or monologue about his 0 effort cynic alpha grindset#which is hilarious. partly because taco has done her fair share of monologuing as well#the funniest thing though is that taco had the energy and motivation to run away after everything falls apart#allowing her to keep her way of thinking#the only reason blueberry turned around so quickly is because he couldn't just run away. he wouldn't have the energy#he was just there so we was forced to confront his guilt#which is so funny. villain arc and redemption arc both entirely via laziness
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The only thing getting me through today is these 12 calories
#bulim14#skinandbones#th!nspø#th1gh g@p#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw b1nge#tw bul1m14#tw ed ana#⭐️ ing motivation#⭐️rving#⭐️vation goals#⭐️ve#light as a feather#i need to lose this weight#i need to lose so much weight#weight loss#lose weight fast#i want to lose weight#tw skipping meals#st4rv3#monster energy
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So that scene in The Hunchback of Notre Dame huh 🥺👉👈 I've had this idea for ages and finally got around to drawing it! I also find it funny to imagine whatever villain he tussled with just lying on the ground next to us while this happens lmao
Bonus, Izuku asking about this story!
#artfarts#self insert#self ship#self shipping community#self insert community#self insert art#self insert x canon#all might x oc#my hero academia#yagi toshinori#young all might#❤️ scars and stripes 💙#HOUGHH I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS AND IM SO HAPPY I FINISHED IT 😭😭😭💖💖💖💖#i normally dont have the energy to finish these kinds of things and lose motivation#but i was like deep in the throes of adhd hyperfocus on this one#it was a lot of fun to use the greyscale too!! i havent wanted to color much lately#but yeah heem...young love 🥺💖💖💖💖
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#its weird. everyone ive met at work has been really nice#its a different group of people than ive interacted with thus far in my life as ive mostly not#had many friends and spent all my time in school. this group of people is mostly from the area where they grew up. mostly barely getting by#financially. mostly married or engaged or in serious relationships. and its weird. and it has been weird and maybe it will always be weird#but i dont understand how to interact with people. im not there for conversations im not present for but how do other ppl interact with#eachother? bc in a conversation i want to get to kno how a person works. what motivates them. what do they love? what do they hate? what#makes them the person that they are? i just want to understand. so i ask lots of questions and it feels weird bc i dont get#the same energy back and i have to conclude that either i have a very different mindset when im walking into conversations or else im just#not vedy interesting and no one wants to get to kno me. but if thats not how ppl communicate then i dont understand how ppl have friends?#and keep friendships? like i want to crawl into ur brain and understand what makes u tick#how can we b friends if i dont understand who u r? i dunno. maybe ill never understand#maybe work is not the place to make friends. but i dont kno how to interact with others outside of a structure#one of the ppl i talked to is maybe my age with a 6yo son and is freshly engaged and she was like: u moved across the coutry all by urself?#i could never do that. and like yea u have ties that bind u to the place u live. its easy to move around when u have nothing to lose#im so bad at maintaining friendships. i just let them drift away into nothing bc i dont kno what to do with the.#with them.#unrelated
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i rewatched gravity falls like a month ago but didn't feel like making fanart but i feel like i have to make fanart...
#idk i just dont have any ideas!!#ill have to look thru other fanart and stuff#wanna do something with mcgucket and ford (and bill) maybe#but also could do some more wholesome art?#rn its like there's too many things i wanna draw but i dont have the will and energy to draw it all before i forget or lose motivation#im getting better at drawing faster tho!#i might just not do a whole lotta full rendered stuff now for my own sanity
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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uuuggghhh
#cant stop pulling my fucking hair but i cant go to anyone abt it because shit like this makes me hard to be around#i havent done this since grade school#once u spend ur formative years around someone who controls ur entire life#u lose any and all motivation or energy to get ur shit together and leave
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Whiteboard dump baby Been a minute :)
The lil guy who isn't Fartlord on the left is Emel :) I should post more about him soon, he's... kinda? relevant? to a semi-recent post of mine, once I explain him you'll understand
And the Edd to the right there is, you guessed it, from another AU living rent free in my head
For the most part all of the AUs I talk about are things that have either been in my head since I got back into the fandom in 2020 or since I first got in the fandom in... jeez when was it, some late 2010s, probably 14 or 15, I know it was before The End and all that, but yeah this has kinda been a meme in my head since 2017? 18? The "Join My Emo Band AU", is literally what I call it because of the meme "quit you job and join my emo band" and that conversation happening between Tom (the "leader"? of the band, the guy who formed it to begin with basically) to Tord (the newcomer they need cause none of them can sing,,, save for Matt but that's opera because his mom hates him or something I guess, not exactly fitting of their skapunk tone)
I have too many thoughts in my head about this god forsaken show and too much energy yet not enough ability to get it out my head
#reading that last bit back#definitely an ADHD thing#too much energy#not enough ability to sit still for five damn minutes and keep my train of thought SQUARELY on the task#no i gotta get ahead of myself and lose motivation because I'm getting too excited about what could be#ugh#anyway#jay draws#stromboli whiteboard#OC#emel#fartlord#fartlord romano#furutre fartlord#wtfuture fartlord#grimace shake#eddsworld#ew#ew edd#edd#art#fanart#i can't draw drums I'm sorry
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struggling with the whole "actually writing" thing again ngl :/
#tysm to all of u for ur continued patience ;A; 💜#i am losing my minddddd#I really do only get short bursts of functionality for a couple days before it's back to the Struggle huh#catch me slamming my head against my desk like that'll help me scrounge up energy & motivation ✌️#I'm not even like. crazy deep down in the depression hole this time#like yeah I'm in it but I'm more just numb & hyperfixated on games which ultimately require less effort than writing does adhfk#idfk. idfk!!! kicking my feet against the ground and grumbling about how fucking stupid and annoying my gd brain is#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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Feel so good after !
#⭐️rving#⭐️ve#anor3c1a#€d blog#⭐️ ing motivation#@tw edd#aesthetic#lose weight fast#college blogging#low cal diet#light as a feather#weight loss diet#student life#a4a diary#anamotivation#anorexla#amazing body#workout#ribsp0#ribspiration#tw thinspi#thinspø#ed twt#ed tag#thin$po#energy drink
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🌼
-🎃
#can you tell when i started to lose energy for the asks?#also for the 'dire' bit i started working on these at the end of april. but then other shit happened so apply as necessary ig#i sadly couldnt get to everyone i wanted so if you're seeing this and i didn't send you one im sorry i swear i still love and appreciate yo#i either lost motivation or we're not close enough for me to make a personal assessment. but please know im sending hugs and virtual cookie#however i encourage anyone and everyone to send at least one of these kinds of messages to anyone you want. anon or not#you never know who might need to hear something nice#and with this im logging off for awhile. finals and probably work on fics. see ya
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