#and then i get anxiety about calling out sick. on a monday

[shuckstruck]

🫠 stomach bug

[miley1442111]

Heyyy!! Would you be interested in writing an angst aaron and bau!reader fic where they're in an established relationship for quite a while now and even have a kid together other than jack. they having relationship problems tho and maybe decided to take some time off their relationship temporarily. so reader takes her and aarons kid in their time off and jack is with aaron. angst where poor jack feels abandoned by reader and thinks she's leaving them cause both the adults are too prideful to talk everything out and make it work. (you can write it however like btw but hopefully with a happy ending 🤞🤍🤍🤍)

i love this idea, sorry i let it sit for so long! only realised i hadn't posted this now :0

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pinky promises-a.hotchner

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a/n: fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)

summary: how you and aaron worry jack, and how aaron finds something out 20 years later.

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader

warnings: angst, fighting, mentions of divorce, jack being upset, etc.

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It had been weeks and weeks of pointless fighting. You were exhausted. Aaron was exhausted. 

“What do you want me to say about it Aaron?” You sighed, exasperation running through your bones. 

“I want you to say anything!” He shouted. You felt a wire snap inside you. Aaron never shouted at you. He knew how horrible he was being. He knew how bad you felt. He knew that this was a stupid thing to be fighting about.

“I’m going to my brother’s house, how about that?” You sighed. “Is that what you wanted me to say?” 

Aaron rolled his eyes, irritated at your dramatics. When he came home from one of the worst cases he’d been on for a while, all he’d wanted was to wrap you up in his arms and not let you go. But of course, he had to ruin it by starting an argument. You were 7 months postpartum, he shouldn’t have been picking fights and he knew it. But he was just so irritated. He realised something, he was taking the worst parts of his job home with him again.

“I need a break from it Aaron, alright. I’ll take Marcy and you’ll get some real sleep for a weekend and we’ll calm down and talk on Monday, alright?” 

Some sleep sounded great. Calming down sounded great. Reconciling sounded great. “Alright,” he nodded curtly. 

“Alright,” you sighed. You had never wanted it to come to this. He promised you it wouldn’t come to this. 

Yet it had. 

“I’ll pack a bag for you,” He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek as he started to walk off but you grabbed his hand and kissed it softly.

“I love you. Always,” you reminded him. His heart melted a little bit. 

“I love you too.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ While you and Aaron were busy fighting, Jack was in his playroom down the hall. He was terrified, you were leaving? You were taking Marcy? 

What would happen to him? He’d already lost his mom, he couldn’t lose you too.

“Honey?” He whispered as you passed the playroom. He’d picked up the habit of calling you ‘honey’ the same way Aaron did. 

“Hey Jackers,” you smiled through the inner monologue running through your head. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?” 

Jack thought this would be his last time with you tucking him in, so he got up immediately and hugged your legs. You chuckled at his antics, unaware of his anxieties, and picked him up in your arms. 

“Can I say goodnight to Marcy?” He asked and you nodded.

“Of course you can, I’ll get your dad as well, we can all say goodnight,” You smiled.

Jack, being the little profiler he was, noticed the way you’d said ‘his dad’ not just ‘dad’. His stomach dropped. He felt sick, the kind of sick he felt before he vomited.  Jack ran into Marcy’s nursery as you went to find Aaron.

“Ok Marcy, I love you, I don’t say it enough,” he whispered into her cot as she slept soundly. “I hope I was a good big brother, you were a great little sister-”

“What are you doing jack?” You asked, worried  and confused by his actions. Aaron stood behind you, his signature frown painted on his face. 

Jack started crying and both you and Aaron ran to him, wrapping him up in your arms. After a few minutes of calming him down, and calming Marcy down after she woke up with Jack crying, you sat on the floor of the nursery beside Aaron as Jack explained. 

“WellIheardyouguysfightingandIknowY/nisgoingawaynowandI’llmissher-” He rushed out but Aaron held up a hand to stop him. 

“Slowly Jack, slowly,” he reminded him and Jack crawled into Aaron’s lap and whispered it to him. 

“I heard you two fighting, and it was like when mom and you used to fight, so I know it means that Y/n and Marcy are going away now, like when you went away and I’m sad because I’ll miss them like I miss mommy,” he sniffled as Aaron’s heart broke. His eyes filled with tears that he forced himself to swallow, the task almost proving too difficult. He looked at you, your head in your hands, you’d heard him too. 

“Jack, your dad and I aren’t breaking up, we’re both just really stressed right now and we thought it would be a good idea to give each other some space. The only reason I’d take Marcy is because I have to breastfeed her,” you explained, your voice breaking. “I love your dad so much, and I love you so much, I could never leave you,” you smiled sadly and took his hand. “Remember the pinky promise I made to you on my wedding day? I meant that.”

Aaron’s ears peaked up as Jack nodded. There was something unspoken about the way that Jack seemed to relax at your words, his entire body lacking any and all tension in mere seconds. 

What was the pinky promise?

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Aaron walked out of Jack’s bedroom and leant against the door of your bedroom, watching you read your book. When you looked up, you were reminded of a younger Aaron, the one you'd met in college when he was with Haley. You felt awful having a massive crush on one of your friend’s boyfriend so you steered clear of him. Who knew you’d be here now? His wife. The mother to his children. 

“Hey handsome,” you smiled at him. 

“I don’t want space. Please don’t leave,” he asked, not meeting your eyes. 

“Let’s be honest, we both know I wasn’t getting over the threshold of my brother’s place before I ran back,” you smiled. Aaron plunked himself down beside you, lying down and pressing kisses against your neck. 

“I’m sorry I picked a fight,” he sighed.

“Sorry I kept it going,” you whispered, kissing his head. 

“So we're alright?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes, we’re ok,” you chuckled. His hands wrapped around you, pulling himself closer into your comforting embrace. For a few minutes, he tried to read your book alongside you, but his question still nagged, what was the promise?

“You want to know what the promise was, don’t you,” you chuckled.

“Yes,” he admitted, a shy smile on his face.

“Too bad,” you smirked, making him roll his eyes. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------It was 20 years later that he found out what the promise was, on Jack’s wedding day.

“Now, probably 20 odd years or so, I made a promise to Jack on my wedding day,” you admitted in your speech. Aaron’s interest peaked once more. “I promised him that I would love him and his dad as long as they allowed me to. That as long as Jack wanted me there, I would be. I told him he could call it off at any time, if anything was ever too much for him or if he hated me when he became a teenager. I promised him I’d go without a word of his involvement. I swore that I’d love him until the minute he didn't want me there, and even then that I'd just love him from far away. But I’m so happy you let me stay around Jack, you’ve become quite the amazing person,” you smiled through tears as he held your hand in his, just like he had all those years ago. Aaron’s heart swelled. You’d thought about Jack since day one. When your speech was finished, Aaron pulled you away from the rest of the party to kiss you in the beautiful sunset, the same venue you two had gotten married in. 

He loved you.

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criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)

[reidmania]

baked away | spencer reid

spencer reid x (fem) reader

description ;

anxiety doesn’t help when your boyfriend is away on a case — good thing baking does.. until it gets too much, good thing Spencer comes home.

hurt/comfort

warnings ;

mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, reader likes avoiding their feelings (same), talks about not eating properly or sleeping, ignoring phone calls, stress baking (also same) idk if there is any mention of gender but i said fem reader just incase their was. if theres anything i missed let me know!!

an ; pls this is #relatable

The house smelt of all sorts of baked good, cupcakes, cookies, brownies, you name it - there was a tray of it sitting on the kitchen counter, or the dining table since the counter grew rather full pretty quickly.

When Spencer was away for work, it wasn’t abnormal for your anxiety to peak. The pit in your stomach would deepen, your chest would feel tighter and your brain was working overtime pumping thoughts so often it crossed over the line to overthinking within minutes.

Baking helped somewhat.

Spencer knew your love for baking, cooking, anything to do with it — you loved. He knew you baked when you were stress, but he wasn’t aware of the extent of it.

Normally, by the time he was back from a case you had already given away majority of your baked goods to anyone who would take them — your parent’s, your neighbours, homeless shelters, book stores, anywhere that accepted them.

This time your anxiety seemed at an all time high this week, you couldn’t remember the last time you were able to sleep, your mind never slowing down enough to close your eyes for more than a couple of minutes. You weren’t sure what exactly had made it this bad — Spencer was away for a case. It just like any other time he was away, expect it wasn’t.

Your mind couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that could possibly happen while he was away. You were so distracted that you had been sent home from work on Monday, and given the rest of the week off because your boss genuinely believed you were sick.

Being home didn’t help — you were without any distractions, which ultimately led to the state of the kitchen. There were eight trays of cookies, five of brownies and nearly ten of cupcakes. You hadn’t left the kitchen in days — besides going to the shops whenever you ran out of ingredients, which had been 6 times, in the last four days.

Baking was a good distraction, your mind was able to focus on the measurements you needed, and the time things needed to bake that it didn’t focus on the fact your boyfriend may be in serious danger.

You hadn’t checked your phone, too scared that maybe if you looked it would be a text saying that something happened to Spencer — and while you would want to know if something did happen, avoidance seemed easier to cope with.

You were in the middle of making another batch of brownies when the door clicked open. You were busy muttering to yourself to hear it — too focused on focusing on the brownies.

Spencer walked into the house, a slight sense of panic. You hadn’t answered your phone in days — He assumed maybe you were busy, but it didn’t stop him panicking like a mad man and taking it out on the rest of the team until he was able to come home.

A wave of relief washed over him when he breathed in the scent of baked goods, not just any — yours.

“Baby?” He called out as he kicked off his shoes, placing his case on the ground next to the door, the lack of response made his eyebrows furrow as he walked towards the sweet smell.

He called your name, before he stepped into the kitchen, only for his eyes to widen as he looked over the state of it, while still maintaining a clean appearance — dishes wise, his eyes scanned over the numerous trays of deserts scattered over the counter and dining room table.

You finally looked up, meeting his eyes there was like a switch in your brain that went off — he was okay — he was home and he was safe and everything was okay.

“Spence!” You smiled widely as you quickly turned to place the brownies in the oven before shuffling towards him, pulling the apron off over your head, it was covered in flour and coco power of sorts.

He smiled as you came towards him, the minute he was in reach your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, breathing in his scent which calmed every muscle in your body. His arms wrapped around your waist, holding you flush against his body just as tight. “I missed you” You murmured into the crook of his neck.

He breathed out a chuckle as your words came out muffled by his skin. “Did you?” He asked, tone almost joking, which only caused you to furrow your eyebrows as you leant out of his grasp.

You didn’t say anything but your confused look was enough for him to understand you were not getting his point. “You didn’t any of my calls in days.” He sighed out.

You furrowed your eyebrows before your eyes widened. “Oh- oh!” You said, spinning on your heels as you searched around the kitchen to look for your phone. “Oh my gosh, I have been so distracted, I am so sorry!” You rushed around apologetically.

He smiled, shaking his head. “It’s alright, angel. Why don’t you tell me why we look like we are opening a bakery?” He asked, leaning forward to take a cupcake out of its tray.

You looked around the kitchen realising he was right — it did look like you were about to have a grand opening. You lips pulled into a frown as you looked back to meet his gaze.

He was biting into the cupcake, eyes still on you with his eyebrow raised as if waiting for an answer — you deflected. “Those are chocolate and honey, sounds weird right? They smelt good but I haven’t tried any, is it alright?” You asked.

He nodded his head, “Yeah they’re good” He confirmed, taking another bite, you smiled as you pinched your nose, sighing. “I didn’t ask what flavour it was” He muttered.

“Huh?”

He chuckled, placing the cupcake down on the bench — protected by the lining. He walked up to you, brushing a few stray hairs from your face as he took in your appearance. “I asked why you baked so much and you told me what flavour cupcake I was eating” He recalled.

You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut. “Whats happened?” He asked, concern lacing not only his tone but also all over his features. You could see it in the wrinkle between his eyebrows as he looked down at you.

“Nothing happened.” You answered — because nothing happened. How were you supposed to say you baked hundreds of deserts because you were simply worried about him — it was pathetic and embarrassing and not something you wanted to admit.

He frowned, “Then whats wrong?” He asked, he just wanted a little bit on insight into your mind, what you were thinking — why it got to this point.

You sighed, dragging your hand up to your hair, pushing it back out of your face. “I just needed a distraction, I guess I went a little bit overboard” You muttered.

“Distraction from what?” He asked:

You chuckled, trying to push away the pressure of his question. “I don’t know? My mind?” You shrugged as if it was nothing — because to you this was normal despite how normal it wasn’t.

“Why?”

“Is this an interview?” You counteracted. You didn’t mean to come off defensive but the whole point of baking to almost the point of insanity was so you didn’t have to think about everything that your mind was rushing though and now Spencer wanted you to blurt it out. The lack of sleep and lack of sufficient food consumption over the last few days may also play a part in your slight outburst.

His frown only deepened. He took your hand wordlessly leading you to your shared bedroom. You didn’t bother fighting it, instead following him.

“Sit.” He instructed, his tone indicated there was no room for argument. You sat down on the bed, not even thinking you had enough energy to argue anyway. The adrenaline you were running off in baking was wearing off now that you knew Spencer was safe, allowing you to feel the lack of sleep.

He sat down next to you, eyes running over your own. “When did you last sleep?” He asked softly, the back of his finger running gently over your cheek as he noticed the bags under your eyes.

You shrugged.

He sighed, “Im a profiler baby, its my job to know whats going on without being told, so I can do that if thats what you’d like, but it would be a lot easier if you talked to me” He said softly.

You hated that, you hated that it was physically impossible to hide anything from him because it was literally his job to find out what people were hiding.

“I was too in my head.” You confess quietly. “I couldn’t sleep, or focus at work, my boss told me to take the week off for Christ sake. I couldn’t eat — I couldn’t do anything” You rambled.

He listened intently to every word that left your lips, taking in your tone and expression. “Why honey?” He urged, thats what he wanted to know — Why.

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that could’ve happened, it was like every worst case scenario in my head all at once no matter what, everytime I closed my eyes I saw it, I felt sick to my stomach constantly — i think i had more panic attacks this week than I have in months Spence.” You continued rambling on, it was like a weight off your chest the more you spoke.

He felt his chest ache at your words — you were feeling like this and he wasn’t there. “What were you thinking about angel?” He asked, his voice threatening to break just as much as yours.

“You. All the things that could happen to you— don’t apologise and don’t feel bad. Im your girlfriend its my job to worry about you. Its never been this bad before, it was just.. really bad this time” Your hand reached your face to wipe the hot tear that fell from your eyes as you talk, your voice giving out on you.

“Oh darling.” His arms were around you instantly. “I am so sorry” He apologised despite your comment telling him not to — how couldn’t he when his girlfriend was driving herself half insane because she was worried about him.

“I was calling you whenever I could” He sighed into her hair, heart tightening as he felt her body shake with the sob that left her lips as he buried her face in his chest. “Im okay, I am right here okay? God baby Im so sorry.” His apologies came out in strings.

You shook your head in his chest, wanting to tell him to shut up — not to apologise for doing his job but you couldn’t, the lump in your throat felt too thick to swallow and words came out silent.

His arms tightened around you. “You know you can go to the office anytime yeah? Garcia is always there and she adores you, you can always go see her if your head feels a bit too messy okay?” He said softly.

You nodded.

You and Spencer stayed like that for a few minutes, before your tears came to a stop, you pulled away to look at his face — seeing he had been crying himself, his cheeks flushed and eyes red.

“Im sorry” You apologised.

He shook his head. “No, you aren’t allowed to do that, you’re not allowed to be sorry for something you can’t control honey.” He was quick to dismiss your apology, there was nothing you needed to apologise for.

He leant in to place a soft gentle kiss across your lips, hands tightening around your waist as his other hand pressed into the small of your back, pushing you closer to him before he pulled away.

“Let’s go get some real food okay? Then we can figure out what to do with your miniature bakery okay?” He muttered, forehead pressed against yours.

“Okay.” You said softly.

He smiled, “Okay.”

[the-daily-slasher]

Slashers & an S/O with a 9 to 5

Happy Monday and in honor of all of us with a 9 to 5 and adult obligations I present how each of the slashers react to and deal with an S/O with a 9 to 5 job.

Slasher List: Michael Myers (RZ & OG), Jason Voorhees (OG & 2009 Remake), Brahms, Thomas Hewitt

Michael Myers (RZ):

No. Why?

He'd be dead asleep when your alarm clock would go off during the weekdays. (He'd crushed, thrown, and destroyed a few at this point, yet you always brought another one home from the dollar store)

Your hand hits the alarm before he has a chance to crush it in his. You roll over to get out of bed but his arms tighten around you. A simple, tired grunt asks you to stay as he hides his face in the back of your neck.

"Michael... please." You yawn and try again to sit up but he won't let you. You sigh and lay down, turning toward him and kiss his forehead. "I have to go to work, baby."

Michael just grunts in reply once more. He knew you had to leave but he wasn't happy about it.

Some days he does his best to play the role of househusband.

You'd come home to flowers ripped from the neighbor's yard laying on the table (chunks of dirt still attached to the roots and stems slightly crushed)

Other days (most of the time) he follows you all day. Sometimes you are aware of it, sometimes not. Either way, he views it as his job to protect you.

Michael Myers (OG):

If you're both sleeping in the same bed, good luck trying to get up on time. He won't sleep often, but when he does, he sleeps hard and he does not like being woken up.

He will rip out the insides of any alarm clock that wakes him up (or stab it).

He doesn't sleep often, even around you. He'd much rather watch you sleep. He feels powerful holding you as you sleep. It annoys him when you have to get up and go to work. But he understands the necessity of it.

You going to work puts food on the table and helps him maintain his hiding spot at your house. If you were late or didn't show up he knew people would come looking for you and find him.

He is much more affectionate when he thinks you're asleep. He runs his hands through your hair and holds you against his chest.

Jason Voorhees (OG):

Househusband of the year.

Granted, he hates that you have to leave every day.

Massive Separation Anxiety

He often questions if you'll come back home to him or if this time you're leaving for good.

In the morning when your alarm goes off he shuts it off gently if he wakes up before you. He'll hold you close and rub the small of your back to help you wake up. There'll be no 'being late' in this household! (His mother wouldn't approve)

You roll over to face your big, scary husband. You kiss his shoulder and mutter a quiet 'good morning'. It's met with a happy sigh out and a kiss on your forehead. He holds you for a few minutes, but soon he escapes your arms and goes to make coffee to help you wake up.

As I stated previously, being late is not an option.

Jason Voorhees (2009):

Hates. Hates. Hates that you have to leave every morning five days a week.

Some mornings he doesn't even allow it. You've had to 'call in sick' more than once. Luckily your job is fairly understanding as jobs go.

When your alarm goes off you wake up laying on his chest, a bear-skin blanket laying over both of you. The early morning chill causes you to pull the blanket up closer to both of you.

His quiet, deep breathing shifts, indicating that he's woken up as well. You're greeted with a huff when you kiss his cheek with a 'good morning, love'. His hands find their way to your hips and he holds you against him. You feel something press against your inner thigh as he nuzzles his face in the nape of your neck. You already knew his would be another 'call in sick' type of morning.

Brahms:

No. Absolutely not!

In his mind, he is your full time job.

Every morning the two of you wake up to your alarm he tries another excuse, another proposition, another way to convince you not to go in that morning. He's begged, pleaded, pouted, argued, and even tried convincing you in "spicier" ways ever so eager to please you (especially if it keeps you in bed all day and away from that office job he hates so much).

On occasion you do give in, deciding to call in sick or with car troubles, or something else you come up with to placate your boss.

The mornings he can get you to stay, his ego truly goes through the roof. He did it, he kept his precious doll, his beautiful mistress from leaving him that day (and he is sure to reward you for it).

Thomas Hewitt:

Understands, though begrudgingly.

Part of him wishes you were a little more invested in the Hewitt family business. The other part of him is glad to keep you as far away from that world as possible.

He often wakes up before you to take care of chores before the day gets too hot, so no need for an alarm.

You often wake up to a kiss on the cheek or forehead and the smell of breakfast somewhere in the house.

"Good morning, Tommy." You yawn as you roll onto your back. You open your eyes to see your husband standing over you and you smile sleepily, opening your arms to call him back into bed with you. He sits down beside you and pulls you into his arms and onto his lap. Your head rests against his shoulder as you wake up. He rests his head on yours and holds you until you're awake enough for a cup of coffee.

[honeylations]

NAKAMURA KAZUHA x FEM!READER

Prompt: Still not being over your ex boyfriend (Choi Yeonjun), you thought it was a good idea to fake a relationship with Kazuha, aka a complete stranger, to make him jealous.

Warnings/Notes: reader is a med student, Kazuha is a mechanical engineering student, mentions of other idols

———

“Y/n?” A voice softly calls from outside your room that you chose to ignore.

There was a short silence before the knocking continued and your dorm mate spoke again. “Y/n, I know you’re awake”

“Go away, Chaeryeong” You groaned and hugged your thick blanket closer to your body.

The said girl opened the door anyways and gagged at the sudden stench of your room.

And also the horrid looks of it. Dirty clothes were scattered all around, unfinished ramen cups sitting on your study desk, and Chaeryeong could’ve sworn she just saw a cockroach run past despite the darkness.

“I said go away” You muttered tiredly into your pillow that was wet from your whole week of tears.

Chaeryeong hopped to your window and drew the curtains, blinding you with the bright sun. Actually, you didn’t even know it was morning from the longing you spent in your dark room, busy listening to Taylor Swift songs.

“Y/n, I know you’re heart broken but I can’t stand to see you skip lectures AND live like a pig” Chaeryeong said with a hand on the hip.

“You don’t understand it at all, Chaer…I just wanna stay here forever and die”

“Well if you’re gonna continue gluing yourself to the bed and only eat 2 minute noodles, you’re definitely not gonna wake up the next time you sleep”

“I don’t think I’ve slept at all this past week”

“I don’t think so either. Come on hun, this is not how I want you to be. Yeji and the other girls have been asking about you too. Don’t leave them worried sick” Chaeryeong sat next your laying body.

“If I go back on campus, I’ll see Yeonjun again and I’ll probably end up crying when I do” You hid under the covers.

“Look, I’m sorry Yeonjun broke up with you. Believe me, I’ve been holding myself back from running him over but you’re gonna make yourself look pathetic by not making the effort to move on”

You closed your eyes as the same scene of the breakup kept replaying in your head.

It was a Monday morning when you and Yeonjun were sitting at the cafeteria, waiting for the rest of your friends to arrive. You pulled out a big lunchbox since you cooked and packed food for the both of you.

“I cooked your favourite today, babe” You smiled and continued placing the utensils on the table.

Yeonjun sighed and rubbed his thighs to ease the anxiety eating him alive. “Y/n, can we talk? Just before the others get here”

“Yeah of course. What’s up?” You said calmly, unprepared for your boyfriend’s next words.

“Please don’t hate me for this, Y/n I’m really sorry…”

You stopped in your tracks and gave him your undivided attention. “What do you mean?”

“I want to break up…”

It was like the world stopped moving and all of a sudden you couldn’t hear the voices of the students around you. You could hear your heart beat and the palms of your hands started to sweat.

“W-What?”

“I wanted to talk about this another time where we were alone but you’re always caught up with so many lectures, it made it difficult. I’m really sorry Y/n, please believe me when I say that”

“Why? Was I a bad girlfriend? I can do better, I swear!” You started to tear up.

Yeonjun scratched the back of his neck and sighed. “No, it’s not that. Honestly, I just feel like my feelings for you aren’t as strong as they were before. I didn’t wanna lead you on nor force myself to continue the relationship when my feelings are unclear”

“Unclear? You can’t just lose feelings like that without a reason Yeonjun!”

“Y/n, I don’t have a proper explanation okay?”

“Heyyyy what’s up party people!” Yeji appears with her girlfriend, Chaeryeong. Food trays in their hands.

Their smile fell when they saw you rush to pack up your lunchbox in tears, sobbing your way out of the cafeteria. Yeji clenched her jaw and slammed her tray on the table, staring down at Yeonjun.

“What the hell did you do, Choi?”

“Y/n?” Chaeryeong’s voice broke you out of the flashback.

“I’m here”

“What do you say? If you come back to Uni, we’ll help you get over that stupid boy”

“Yeah, I’ll treat you bingsu!” Yuna’s voice made you scream and sit up from the bed.

“What the hell, since when did you come in?!”

The tall girl grabbed an empty laundry basket and started throwing your used clothes in it. “A few minutes ago but you seemed too lost in thought to hear me”

“Oh sorry” you thread your fingers through your unwashed hair.

“Don’t be. I missed you, hun. The others do too. Especially Minji, Sakura, and Yeji. They said the group projects feel empty without you”

“You gonna take up our offer, Y/n-ie?” Chaeryeong smiled sweetly.

Sighing into your palms, you have a small nod. “Fine.”

The two girls squealed and Chaeryeong hugged you but she quickly moved back from your stench. “Oh my god you need a shower”

Frowning, you lifted your armpit to your face and gagged. “Fuck you’re right”

“Go shower while we tidy your room. It’s time a for a fresh start” Yuna ordered, reassuring you with a thumbs up.

“I love you guys”

“Yeah yeah we know. Shoo shoo stinky!”

———

After a healthy breakfast and long hot shower, Chaeryeong and Yuna prepared you an outfit for the day. Yuna even offered to do your makeup for you.

Arriving at the University, you were happy to see the rest of your group patiently waiting by the engineering building. Yeji, Sakura, Minji, and Hanni all ran to you, pulling you in for a group hug. Yuna and Chaeryeong laughed before joining in.

“I’m so happy to see you, Y/n” Yeji said as the hug circle separated.

“Me too, Yeji. Feels good getting some fresh air”

“Should’ve seen her room” Yuna mumbled.

“I’ll start getting better guys, I promise” You smiled warmly at everyone, receiving a big smile back.

“Y/n?” A masculine voice called behind you.

Instantly turning around, you regretted to see your ex boyfriend with his friends Beomgyu, Soobin, Taehyun, and Huening Kai.

“Hold me back before I rip his teeth out” Chaeryeong whispered to Yeji who immediately held her waist.

“Yeonjun…hi” You breathed out.

“How have you been? Haven’t really seen you around”

“Been good, totally good. Was just busy with…stuff” You cursed at yourself for not thinking of better responses.

“Ah I see. Have you’ve been seeing anyone lately?” He suddenly asked, surprising you and your group.

“Why are you asking?”

Yeonjun timidly shrugged and buried his hands into his pockets. “No reason”

“Well I’m not—“

“Yeah she’s been seeing a hot girl” Yuna blurted out, all the attention going to her.

Your eyes were as wide as saucers.

Yuna clung onto Chaeryeong’s shoulder tightly, realising she fucked up big time.

“You’re bi?” Yeonjun asked.

“Um—“

“She’s swung both ways since junior year” Yuna spoke again and you really wished a rock fell on her head right now even though she wasn’t lying.

You’ve liked both genders for a while but you tried focusing on men more because you were getting too delusional with your crushes on straight girls. You wanted to save yourself from the heart break but looking at your situation with Yeonjun, the plan didn’t work out anyways.

“Oh…Who’s the lucky girl?”

“Hey Kkura-Chan there you are” A female student appeared with a stack of papers in one hand.

Out of panic, you hastily grabbed her wrist and pulled her to your side, sending Yeonjun an awkward smile. “This is her”

Yeonjun frowned. “Nakamura Kazuha…You’re dating Kazuha?”

Looking up at the taller (and extremely pretty) girl, she didn’t look back at you but instead wrapped an arm around your waist. “Mhm, that’s right. Sorry, is there an issue Yeonjun?” Kazuha asked.

“No, no problem at all. See you in class” He shook his head and walked off with his group.

Kazuha released her hold and finally looked at you. “You alright?”

All you could think of was: Goddamn this girl was hella fine. How come you haven’t seen her before? She was so much taller than you, had wavy black hair, glasses, wore baggy denim jeans, and black shirt.

“Y-Yeah. Sorry about putting you on the spot like that because SOMEONE wanted to LIE” you targeted your words at Yuna who hid behind Yeji and Chaeryeong.

“It’s okay, I thought he was bothering you”

“Thank you again, Kazuha was it?”

“Yep! Nakamura Kazuha, first year mechanical engineering student. Also mutual friend of Sakura”

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Kwon Y/n, first year med student”

“Sorry Ha-Chan, did you have something for me?” Sakura asked, now standing in front of the other girl.

“Oh yeah, your review papers that you texted me to get from our dorm. You left it”

“Thank you!! Would’ve died without them”

“Dramatic as always” Kazuha rolled her eyes with a handsome smile.

You were melting.

“I gotta get going. Yunjin’s waiting for me. I’ll see you at lunch, Kkura Unnie” Kazuha announced, starting to take her leave but not before she flashed you a short smile.

“See you around, Y/n”

Once she disappeared into the building, all your friends crashed into you with squeals.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FRUITY TENSION?!” Hanni screamed.

“You totally like her!” Minji added.

You were being slapped left and right. “I do not! I just met her!”

“Just letting you know Y/n, Kazuha is single and also likes girls” Sakura winked.

You groaned before pointing a finger at Yuna. “This is all your fault!”

“I’m sorry, I freaked out!!”

“What do I do now? Yeonjun thinks I’m dating Kazuha when I’m not but we basically see each other everyday in this stupid campus!” You paced back and forth, starting to feel the incoming headache.

“Why don’t you two just continue faking it?” Chaeryeong suggested.

“You’re kidding” You deadpanned but your dorm mate shook her head.

“Hear me out. Yeonjun looked totally jealous and that brings me satisfaction because if you all have forgotten, he was the reason Y/n was living like a hobo this past week!”

“Damn was I that bad?” You muttered.

Chaeryeong continued. “Look at it as a way of revenge, Y/n. Yeonjun might still have feelings for you and since he broke your heart, just break his back”

You scratched your chin. “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea”

“Right? Kazuha also seems so chill about it so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem for you to talk it out with her. Also Y/n, I swear to God, if you take Yeonjun back, I’m running you BOTH over”

“Wasn’t planning on it anyways” You rolled your eyes.

“Come on let’s go to class. You got a week worth of revision to do miss Kwon” Yeji playfully scolded before Chaeryeong kissed her cheek.

“See you later baby” Hanni pecked Minji’s lips.

“Ugh, lovebirds. Bye Y/n-ie” Yuna waved, walking off with Chaeryeong and Hanni to the business department.

You walked alongside Yeji, Sakura, and Minji to the medical building, already dreading it.

———

“KIMCHI JIGAE KIMCHI JIGAE KIMCHI JIGAEEEEE!!!” Sakura hopped around impatiently while you, Yeji, and Minji were returning your laptops and notebooks inside your bags but the Japanese girl would not stop clawing at your arm.

“OW! Can you not be feral for one second?!” You raised your voice, seeing the scratch marks.

“But you know how packed the cafeteria can get! I don’t wanna miss out!”

“We’re going we’re going!” You chuckled and allowed yourself to get dragged out the room like a doll with the others tailing not too far behind.

You all finally reunited with Yuna, Hanni, and Chaeryeong at a big table in the cafeteria, noticing a few more familiar faces joined who you recognised as Lia, Ryujin, Haerin, Hyein, and Danielle.

Sakura had already disappeared into the line, fighting her way for Kimchi jigae.

“Y/N!!!” The 5 screamed and squished you in another group hug.

“Oh em ghee I’m so popular” you giggled, the girls groaning and pushing you away.

“Nevermind, don’t miss you anymore” Lia pretended to yawn.

You laughed and sat down just in time for Sakura to return with two food trays. “As an apology for scratching you, I got you food”

“That was fast” Danielle commented.

“It’s called pushing and shoving, my dear Australian friend”

“Thanks Kkura, I forgive you” You made a kissy face, about to pick up your chopsticks when the same annoying masculine voice called you.

“Hey Y/n” Yeonjun smiled, leaning onto the table.

Chaeryeong scratched her head and hissed. “Why are you always here when we don’t want you to!”

“Sorry, is it ok for me to talk with Y/n privately?”

Chaeryeong arched a brow. “What am I? Y/n’s mom?”

“No, but I am and I say no you cannot” Sakura replied with crossed arms.

“Y/n, it won’t take long” Yeonjun whispered and you tried hard not to fall again.

Another food tray suddenly squeezed past Yeonjun’s hand and placed next your tray. “Excuse me, wanna sit next to my girlfriend” Kazuha muttered and sat down, holding your waist like she did that morning.

“Ha-Chan!” Sakura cheered, waving enthusiastically.

“Since when was Kazuha part of our group?” Haerin mumbled to Danielle who could only shrug but watch intently.

“Also, girlfriend??” Hyein added to Danielle’s other ear.

“Y/n please?” Yeonjun pleaded.

You looked at Kazuha and the other girls. Giving a deep sigh, you slowly stood up, Kazuha’s hand never leaving your waist. “Alright”

“Y/n seriously?” Chaeryeong scoffed but you reassured her you’ll be fine.

“Don’t take too long, baby” your fake girlfriend pouted that you weirdly wanted to kiss.

“I won’t” You pinched her cheek and walked off with Yeonjun.

Finally in a private area of the uni, you crossed your arms and glared at the taller boy. “What is it this time?”

“Just wanted to say I miss you…” He muttered, looking down at his feet.

“Sorry, I just wanted to remind you that YOU broke up with ME”

“I know and I’m sorry for that, Y/n how many times do you want me to apologise? I fell out of love!”

His raised voice was starting to get on your nerves. “Okay? If you fell out of love then why did you ask me if I was seeing anyone? Let alone wanting to talk to me right now?!”

“Listen, this past week of not seeing each other made me realise that I probably made a mistake”

“Probably? This is some bullshit” You ran your fingers through your hair out of frustration. “You broke me Yeonjun! You were the reason I locked myself up in my dorm for the whole week, acting like a hobo!” You added, copying the description from Chaeryeong earlier.

“Ok but I thought you’d give yourself more time but here you are suddenly dating Kazuha?”

You made a face. “Is this what it’s all about? You’re jealous of me and Kazuha’s relationship?”

He scoffed. “Im not jealous. Im just saying I’m surprised to see you move on so quickly, it’s like you never loved me at all”

“YOU fell out of love, what the fuck Yeonjun?! Stop trying to make me sound like some whore. Kazuha was there for me when the entire break up started” you managed to create some sort of love story between you and Kazuha.

“Since when did you and Kazuha talk anyways? That bitch only stuck with her loser friends most of the time!”

Hearing him insult your (fake) girlfriend got you clenching your fists. “Don’t call her that”

“There’s no way you’re dating. You’re doing it to mess with me huh? Trying to make me crawl back to you”

The more he spoke, the more confused you got. “Let’s rewind a little bit because didn’t you just say you missed me? PICK ONE GODDAMN EMOTION YEONJUN!”

“Don’t fucking yell at me—“

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, Choi?” Kazuha spoke through gritted teeth, standing in front of you.

“This conversation is only between me and Y/n, Nakamura. Back off”

“Well hearing you yell at my girlfriend like that, there’s no way I’m gonna ignore it”

“Zu, let’s go back inside” You held her arm.

Kazuha looked at you with a puppy smile. “Okay”

The more you looked at the taller girl, the more you realised she looked like an adorable Samoyed.

“We’re not done talking, Y/n” Yeonjun growled.

You shook your head. “No, we are done talking, thanks” You scrunched your nose at him before walking off with Kazuha.

Yeonjun punched the wall before taking his leave.

Seeing that he was gone, you pulled your hand away from Kazuha. (Much to her dismay)

“Thanks for saving me again, you’re a hero”

“I don’t mind being a hero as long as I’m only saving you” She winked.

“Hey Kazuha, I hope you don’t mind me asking you a favour” You fiddled with your fingers.

“I already know what it is and I’m totally fine with it if it’s the only way to keep that weirdo away from you” She smiled.

You looked up with wide eyes. “What?”

“Sakura texted me during class”

“I’m gonna kill her” You looked away but the taller girl held your chin.

“If we’re gonna make this believable, we need to get to know each other properly”

“What’s on your mind?” You tilted your head.

Kazuha pulled out her phone and opened Instagram. “Socials and number please? So we can organise hang outs”

Shyly grabbing the device, you put in both your username and phone number before returning it. “Sounds good. How should we start?”

“Why don’t we join the others as we talk?” She put her hand out for you to hold which you happily accepted.

“Alright, let’s go”

As Kazuha talked about her plan, all you could do was stare at her and study every inch of her pretty face. Her smooth clear skin, her silky hair, her heart jumping smile, her jawline…

The way she would hold your waist, hold your hand, it made your body react more than when you were with Yeonjun. Although you had basically just met the Japanese girl, there was something special about her that you wanted to see more of, but you couldn’t specify what it was.

Maybe being dumped by Yeonjun wasn’t so bad after all.

[ccswife]

Oh No..

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part 4: is it working?

previous

pairing๛: kate martin x iowau!reader

synopsis๛: kate catches you watching your saved edits of her

warnings: slight angst (barely)

not a lot of dialogue in this one, but low-key proof read :D

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It's sunday morning, and you wake up to a bright ray of sun in your face, peeking through the barely-shut curtains. turning over in your very, very warm bed, you notice the time on your phone.

as well as some notifications..

9:23AM

notification center

3 messages from bear🐻

[goodmorning star sunshine!]

[hows the hangover?]

[r u alive]

you reply to her texts and chat for a little bit. she admits halfway through your in-depth conversation about what you drank and what color your throwup was, that she didnt remember anything from last night. ANYTHING. your head was already reeling from the raging hangover you had aquired, and this made it ten times worse. you begin to play a game of eenie-minie-moe with yourself. "do i tell her? do i say nothing? do i ruin it? do i protect my own feelings?" after at least 7 minutes, you come to the conclusion to not say anything. hey, you know what they say! ignorance is bliss!

you climb out of bed and grab some clothes to go take a hot bath. bathes are very good on tense muscles, and aroma-therapy helps to ease anxiety, reduce inflammation and sooth headaches. it was about 10 when you hopped in, and you planned to stay there till the water got cold. after the fact, you showered quickly to wash the grime off and get the hairspray out of your hair. finally getting dressed into a comfy pair of sweats and a oversized shirt, you go to cook some breakfast. cooking breakfast always was a good thinking time for you, as it wasnt super busy in the mornings and you could stand there and watch the eggs or pancakes cook whilst contemplating every decision you have ever made leading up to that moment. todays topic was " what the hell did i do to get into this position with the girl i love!" and it did not dissapoint! feeling that the topic was actually taking years off your life, you decide to give yourself a kate break and call out of work for monday. you used the "im sick *cough cough* and i never take days off!" excuse and it worked surprisingly well!

after a calm morning and breakfast, you chilled on the couch and put on a random show for some backround noise. it was now about 11ish, nearning 12. scrolling through instagram reels, you get a notification that kate posted on her story. (yes, you have her story notifs on.) clicking on the notif, it brings you to her story.

you nearly dropped your phone.

another woman....hiding her face..... LUNCH DATE?!?!?!?!? so shes seeing someone? you've never seen this woman in your life, so obviously a secret. even from you, her best friend. honestly, it took some life out of you. with everything going on between you two, you didn't exactly know how to feel. did you deserve to feel like this, like you had been "betrayed"? part of you knew that that was a little dramatic, but nevertheless still very valid. if there was one thing that Kate and the girls had taught you, its that your feelings will always be valid, whether they change or stay the same. these specific feelings made you lose your appetite, and frankly the will to live. aggressively turning your phone off, you get out of the deep crevice you were shoved in on your couch and make your way back to the bedroom.

"and here, I shall lay"

you dramatically say as you fall onto the bed, draping a hand on your forehead as you do so. you opt to watch "Crazy Rich Asians", just to believe-in some sort of love, and cuddle up in between the sheets. half-way through the movie, you feel multiple buzzes from your phone. opening it up, you see a bunch of texts from a very worried gabbie and caitlin. they know what happened last night, so the story she posted as alarming to them as well.

shhhh🤫

gabbie babbie wabbie

y/n are you alive

sos

hello

caity baby

we saw kates story

obviously its not u cuz ur not tagged

r u ok

gabbie babbie wabbie

lil harsh there cait...

caity baby

whoops sorry

but r u alive

get out of bed

gabbie babbie wabbie

y/n🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

hello🥺🥺🥺

answer pls we miss you and wanna know ur alive

caity baby

y/nnnnnnnnnnn

after scrolling through the messages, you liked a few and explained you were ok, and that you took tomorrow off and are gonna lay in bed for a while. they remind you to eat and be good to yourself and you reluctantly agree and promise to them that you'll comply. finally finishing your heart-wrenching movie, you fall into a light sleep. periodically you respond to your texts, as kate had been texting you quite normally. this includes all the regular nicknames and stupid jokes she always made. you'd be lying if you didn't love the normalcy she was exuding, and that it didn't bring you comfort in your relationship. it just solidified your decision to not tell her about last night, in order to keep what you two have now. you were sure that you could shove all the feelings down and support your long time best-friend in her romantic endeavors (not with you). at about 7 o'clock, kate asked if she could 'stop by' and obviously you agreed.

IF you were being 100% honest with yourself, you were seriously nervous. you hoped that you wouldn't slip about what happened and how you felt about the insta story. at exactly 7:16pm, kate knocked on the door of your apartment and you graciously let her in, immediately being engulfed into a bear hug. she had the biggest smile on her face as she pulled back to look at you.

"hello beautiful" she tucks a piece of hair behind your earn, rubbing her thumb against your blushed cheek. "I missed you today! it feels like its been forever" she pouts at you, doing her signature puppy eyes.

you giggle at her and reply in a blissful tone. "ive missed you too katie bear, how was your day?" pulling away from you, she starts to walk to your bed room, you following close behind. " it was actually really good! I had a really good lunch today. you would've died at how good it was. it was some Italian place downtown." she draws out the emphasis on 'really', and continues to talk as she plops on to your bed. " I went out with my friend nancy, she graduated last year and is interning at a dental place by school" you join her on the bed. "oh yea? is she a new friend?" curiosity killed the cat, but you tried to be as discrete as you could with the tone of your voice. obviously since she was talking about it, she is open to the subject. kate goes on to rant about how she's her new friend, how they met at a coffee place, blah blah blah. then she gets to the surprising part.

"-and then after we talked about edits, she mentioned how she has a whole folder of them! I dont think ive met anyone with a folder of women's ball edits! it was so funny, and then she mentioned how there were a few of me in it! I laughed so hard I-" after she said that you stopped listening and internally crashed out. never met anyone with that?????? does she not remember catching you???? it genuinely boggled you how one of the only people that remembers every single detail about you could forget that. deciding again not to say anything, you mentally join back into the conversation and give her 'mm's and 'ohh yea's to let her know you were acknowledging her rant. the conversation slowly turned into showing each other stupid tiktoks and reels. both of your eyes began to droop, and whilst laying on each other, the two of you fell asleep.

and together you peacefully slept, blissfully unaware of anything else happening in the world

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a/n ◕‿↼ : wooooo finally chapter 4!!!! I finally got a laptop so this is way more fun and wayyy easier to do so im a tad bit more motivated. I know this one wasn't the most exciting and didn't hav much dialogue but there's a lot to come guys dont worry I'm cooking up some good chapters. love you pookies! enjoy pls🤗

[shadowynn]

| the paradigm complex | five |

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

genre: yandere!vampire!cult!poly! ateez au

warnings: yandere behavior, some cursing, mentions of violence, manipulation, toxic relationships, mentions of blood

(also, wanted to run over one last warning/disclaimer/important note (??) but i just wanted to state for the record somewhere, that while consent might seem a bit dubious at times in this work, i want to make it clear that sexual consent will never be anything but absolutely clear. while, i don't plan on making any of my works very nsfw, things may be hinted towards at times. and though it's very clear that the relationships in this story are anything but healthy and people may be a bit grabby at times, consent will always be given. (and good, clear consent, not manipulated consent) just wanted to stick this in somewhere in case this is something that is triggering for you. if, and when, the reader sleeps with anyone in this work, they will do so fully consenting in their right mind.)

wordcount: 11.7k

a/n: okay, okay, first thing, first. go up and read the additional warning up above if you skipped it and ended up here. just an important note i wanted to talk about before this chapter. if you're done there, then the next thing i want to say is that i apologize for all the eurovision references in this part. i started writing this part shortly after the competition this year and couldn't stop myself from adding them in. if you're interested in which songs they are, i'll add a link here at the end of this with the playlist i pretty much listened to the whole time writing this chapter and imagine mc's hype up playlist to be. other than that, i guess i just want to once more thank you all for your support and love. i'm always so blown away by you all and could never express just how thankful i am for you all. as always, i hope you enjoy. <33

mc's hypelist

| four | five | six |

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At first, you believed it to just be your anxiety getting the better of you, growing worse as Monday went on and crept closer to the time your ex-boyfriend would find the letter you left him. It wasn’t unnatural for you to feel sick when you were stressed, but it was never anything more than some mild nausea that passed once your nerves had settled. Not only did your nausea persist throughout the day and into the night, but it was slowly accompanied by a fever, uncontrollable chills, and terrible body aches.

The night was nothing short of a hazy, fever dream. You tossed and turned inside your bed, drifting in and out of sleep as your mind floated from one unfortunate series of events to the next, the dreams which haunted your head vivid enough for you to struggle determining them from reality.

When you finally woke up, you had been drenched in sweat and feeling much worse than you had the night before. Every single muscle in your body seemed to ache, and despite your body burning from the fever, you were terribly cold, shivering beneath the blankets you had piled over your body. Worse of all, your throat burned, but no matter how thirsty you felt, nothing stayed down for long. Even the smallest sip of water made your stomach roll, causing you to spend the majority of Tuesday wrapped up in a blanket on your bathroom floor. 

Wednesday went no differently than Tuesday. At some point in the haze, you thought you might have heard a knock at your front door, but you didn’t have the strength to get up from your corner in the bathroom to go downstairs and check. Your phone buzzed shortly after when a call came through, but you weren’t able to reach for it in time to answer, lost in the mound of blankets surrounding you. When you finally found it, you saw that it had been Mingi who had called alongside a plethora of other messages you had missed in your semi-concurrent state over the past day and a half. You thought about answering the text message he had left alongside the missed call, wanting to tell him you were fine, but your stomach rolled, forcing you to drop everything and empty whatever was left in your stomach at this point. 

“y/n?” 

The sound surprised you, but not quite as much as when your eyes glanced up and found a familiar figure standing in the open doorway to your bathroom.

“Mingi?” If it wasn’t for how terrible you currently felt, you might have felt self-conscious of your current physical state, but you didn’t have the energy to do so. Your brain could barely wrap around the fact Mingi had come into your apartment, let alone what sort of implications it might have had. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in.” He kept his distance from you when he spoke. “You weren’t answering your phone and I was worried, so when your door was unlocked...”

“No, it’s fine-” you began, but was cut off as a wave of nausea hit you once more. 

Mingi was at your side in a heartbeat, fingers tickling the back of your neck as he pulled your hair out of the way for you. Somewhere inside your mind you were aware of the action. Of how close he was to you and how embarrassing the interaction was for you, but his touch was cool against your feverish skin and you did little more but lean into it when he reached out for your forehead once your stomach had settled.

“Sorry, I’m-“

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” His voice was soft, hands brushing back the sweaty strands of hair stuck against your forehead. “You’re burning up, so why don’t we get you back into bed, huh?” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement, hands already moving downwards to help lift your body. “Then I’ll get you some water as well as something to help deal with the nausea.” 

You were too weak to argue, and far too out of it to feel embarrassed at the amount of support you needed from him to get back on your feet. He guided you the short distance over to your bed without complaint, maneuvering the blankets and pillows around to best support you. Once you were comfortably situated, he left you be for just a moment to go fetch the materials he had spoken of earlier.

It was hard to tell how long he was gone, having drifted off to sleep shortly after he left your side. You were only vaguely aware of someone gently shaking you awake later on, and helping you down whatever contents were in the bottle he brought. This time around, it went down with little resistance, cool and refreshing against your parched throat. 

“Don’t worry, love,” Mingi’s voice was soft as he spoke, hand once again hovering over your forehead, “it’ll all be over soon.” 

You weren’t sure when he left, or if he had ever even been there at all, drifting back to sleep shortly after. The dreams that followed were even stranger than the nights before, more vivid and intense than anything before, almost fully leading you to believe you had imagined Mingi being there. Everything about them felt real, down to the fingers that fluttered along your arms and legs, cool to the touch from the heat of your fever, and the lips that ghosted along after them. If you had been in your right mind, you might have been embarrassed by the contents, fully aware of just who your feverish mind had summoned into your head. But there was a strange sort of relief alongside them, and the liquid poured down your throat, fully satisfying the thirst that had consumed you earlier.

When you finally awoke late Thursday morning, you were surprised to discover your fever had finally started to ease. You didn’t feel fully back to normal yet, but you found yourself able to get around your room once more without the threat of passing out hovering over you. And for the first time in days, you were not only able to keep down the small snack you ate, but also stand long enough to take a shower and wash away the sweat and grime that had built up over the last few days.

You settled back into your bed after stepping out of the shower. You felt better than you had in days, no longer feeling as though you were on the verge of death, but the few actions you had done had still left you exhausted in your weakened state. You might have been on the road to recovery, but you would still have to take it easy over the next few days. 

You took the time to check your phone, briefly running through the notifications that had flooded it over the past few days. The majority of them were from Felix, but there were a few from Hongjoong and the others, including Mingi, who’s message indicated that he had been in your apartment the day before. The realization left a pit forming in your stomach, fully embarrassed by the interaction now that you had the capacity to do so. You couldn’t remember exactly what had occurred, but what little snippets you gathered only served to leave you blushing and pushing back his message to deal with later, if at all. 

Instead, you focused your attention towards Felix. He was at work for the afternoon, so you were unable to call him and let him know you had not been kidnapped and there was no reason to call the police, but you texted him a brief update on your status alongside a promise to call him later once he was free. Once he was taken care of, you had the others who had expressed concern in your absence to deal with. You quickly discovered there was at least one text from each of your new coworkers, littered with concern for your well-being and questions asking if there was anything they could do to help. Your cheeks once again tinted pink as you read through them, sinking further beneath your covers and opting to send a short update into the group chat to thank them and inform them you were feeling much better at the moment.

You spent the rest of the afternoon in bed, catching up on a few of the shows you had been watching before switching to a variety of random YouTube videos to pass the time. As much as you hated falling ill during the one week you had off from work, it was still nice to be able to rest and heal on your own time and without having to worry about missing work or anything else. 

It was evening by the time Felix called you, FaceTiming you to ensure you were doing as well as you said. You moved downstairs to the kitchen to talk with him, eager to get out of bed after being in it for so long and settling down at the island counter to snack on some crackers as the two of you talked.

You had been speaking for almost half an hour when there was a knock at the door, silencing the giggle Felix had pulled out of you. Your lips twisted as you turned your head towards the sound out of reflex, unsure who exactly was at your door. You hadn’t been expecting anyone, but you were pretty sure you could easily narrow the culprit down to one of eight people.

“Something wrong, n/n?” 

You shook your head, turning back to your phone propped up on the counter. “No, someone’s just at my door. Could you give me a second to see who it is and what they want?” That, you also had a relatively good idea for as well, nearly certain it was just one of your new neighbors coming to check up on you and see how you were doing. 

Before you did, however, you couldn’t stop your eyes from flickering to the edge of your screen where your own reflection lied. You couldn’t stop another frown from crossing your face, acutely aware of how rough you looked at the moment. You had dressed purely for comfort and hadn’t done anything else with your hair after taking a shower, simply letting it air dry. And while you knew it didn’t matter, the visit was definitely not anything beyond friendly, you still felt your self-esteem dropping the slightest. While you had no issues with Felix seeing you in your current state - you had been friends for years and fully comfortable around him - you were nowhere near that level of comfort with anyone who lived here yet. 

You straightened your hair as best you could before getting up from your seat to head over to the door, steadying yourself for just a few seconds when you got a little dizzy from getting up too quickly. 

“Seonghwa, hi.” You remained half hidden behind the door when you opened it, surprised to see the senior property manager at your doorstep despite knowing it was likely him or one of the others. 

“Hi,” Seonghwa returned your sentiment with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Well, considering I can now make it downstairs without passing out or throwing up, I’d say pretty good,” you joked, feeling oddly at ease in front of him. “I think I spent the majority of the past two days laying on the bathroom floor.”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. We’ve all been worried about you, especially after the state Mingi found you in yesterday,” he replied, all but confirming your suspicions. Mingi had come over yesterday. “And I’m sorry about coming over unannounced, but I thought you might not be feeling up to cooking anything tonight, so I made you some soup.”

It took a minute for his words to process, and once they did, you struggled with a response. Seeing the thermos extended towards you left your stomach flipping; the kindness he was showing you making you freeze. It was one thing coming to check up on you, but this…

“Seonghwa.” Your arms crossed against your chest, fighting the strange urge to cry. After everything you had been through the past few days, the act of kindness hit you hard, not quite used to it. “Thank you.” You took the thermos from his hands, giving him a soft smile. “Do you want to come inside for a bit?”

“I’d like that.” Seonghwa nodded his appreciation, and you stepped out of the way to let him inside, closing the door behind him. 

Your mind briefly traveled over to the comment Felix had made the other day, the one where he was certain no guy would go this much out of the way for someone they were just seeking friendship with. But he had been wrong, right? That couldn’t have been true when each of them treated you with such kindness. It was just the type of people they were, right? 

You shook your head, finding the train of thought ridiculous. Of course they were just being friendly. 

“It’s not much yet, sorry, but there’s a chair at the island you can sit at.” You made your way back over to the kitchen, setting the thermos on the counter and trying not to let your insecurity of yourself or your lack of furnishings get the better of you. “Just give me a second to wrap up my call with Felix and I’ll be free.”

You grabbed your phone from off the counter, unmuting yourself so you could let Felix know what had happened and finish your conversation. “Sorry about that, Lix.” You took the further barstool at the island, settling back down. Despite feeling much better than earlier, your head still spun from standing too long. “Seonghwa stopped by to bring me some dinner. Would you like to say hi?” You were quick to add to let Felix know you were no longer alone, not wanting him to say anything about the situation that might embarrass you further. Of course that didn’t mean Felix wouldn’t still say something, but it would lower the severity of the next words out of his mouth. 

You were quick to notice the shift in Felix’s face, including the smirk that crossed his lips, but he refrained himself from whatever sarcastic remark you knew had just played through his mind. Hearing your conversation, Seonghwa approached you from behind, peering down at the screen in your hand from over your shoulder. You had a hard time resisting the shiver that ran down your spine as his hand came down to rest on the counter beside you. There was something different about him tonight that you couldn’t quite place, something that left your stomach fluttering. And had he always smelled this good before? A scent you couldn’t quite place, but had you unconsciously leaning back into him. 

“Hi!” Felix waved to the man standing behind you, the very man you hoped didn’t notice the subtle smirk he had sent your way beforehand. The way his eyes shifted between the two of you made your stomach twist. “I’m Felix. It’s nice to finally have a face to one of the names n/n keeps mentioning.”

You had to bite your lower lip to keep the rebuttal at bay, inwardly twisting at the implication of Felix’s remark. 

“All good things I hope,” Seonghwa chuckled, and was it just your imagination or had he moved in closer?

“Oh, no, it’s been nothing but terrible,” Felix replied, and you swiftly became aware of the mistake you had made in allowing the two to speak. “I mean, bringing her food, helping her unpack, checking up on her? What kind of person would do that?”

“Well, you can talk all about it tomorrow,” you interrupted their conversation as Seonghwa laughed behind you, hoping he didn’t see the pink tint on your cheeks in the lower image of the screen. “I should probably eat before the food gets cold, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Lix.”

Thankfully, Felix didn’t try to fight your attempt to get out of the awkward situation you had put yourself into. He simply nodded his agreement and stayed on long enough with you to finalize the plans for tomorrow before saying goodbye and returning the finger heart you gave him and ending the call. 

“I’m sorry about Felix.” The room fell silent as your screen went dark. You became fully aware you were now alone with Seonghwa and though you hadn’t given Felix too much time to embarrass you, you still felt some need to fill the silence and apologizing for your friend was the first thing to pop inside your mind. “He can be a bit much at times.”

“It’s fine.” Seonghwa shook his head, pulling back from you when you made to move yourself. “He seems like a good friend. How long have you known each other?”

“Ummm, a little over three years now, I think.” You thought over the question for just a moment, the years had mixed together over time. “We met shortly after I had moved to the city and just sort of clicked almost immediately. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him. He’s just about the only thing that’s kept me sane since then.”

You made to stand back up and grab yourself a bowl and utensils, but you must have gone a little too quickly as the motion left your head spinning once more. Seonghwa reacted quickly, hands wrapping around your waist to help steady you as you reached out for the counter in front of you for support. 

“Are you okay?” His voice sounded close, too close. Close enough to where you could feel his breath tickling your ear. 

“Yeah, just a little lightheaded is all.” Your breath hitched, overcome with the unnatural urge to close the distance between you. Your fingers tightened their grip on the counter in an attempt to steady them, lips parting momentarily as a newfound thirst overcame you. 

It was now that Seonghwa’s familiar scent finally clicked in your head, reminding you of your ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t quite the same, but the overarching sweetness of it was something that had long since been imprinted in your memory and nearly sent you reeling. 

“You should eat then,” his voice was soft, fingers digging momentarily into your waist before guiding you back down to the chair you had risen from. “The past few days have been rough on you and your body, so try and rest for now. I can get what you need.”

You nodded your head, sinking back down into your chair. He was right. Besides the little bit of food your stomach had been able to handle earlier, you hadn’t eaten anything in the last few days and were starting to feel the effects now that you had been getting up and about once more. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” Seonghwa looked back at you from the cabinet he was rummaging in. 

“I don’t know.” His response caught you off guard, causing you to squirm in your seat. “I guess I just feel a little bit like I’m inconveniencing you. I mean, you’ve all helped me so much these past few days and I can’t help but feel a little guilty about it all. I don’t want to be a burden to you or make you think I’m trying to take advantage of you in any way.”

“Is that all?” Seonghwa’s head tilted and you had a hard time reading the intent behind his words as you meekly nodded your confirmation. Perhaps it wasn’t everything that plagued you, but it was all you were willing to divulge at the moment. “Then you don’t have anything to apologize for.” He waved your concern away, closing the cabinet door once he found what he was looking for. “Life gets crazy every once in a while and we just try and do what we can to help each other out. I’m sure if the roles were reversed, you’d do the exact same thing, right? After all, you helped little Junseo without even knowing him, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah,“ You had forgotten about your interaction with Junseo on your first visit here. The act of helping him hadn’t even passed your mind since then. It had simply been the right thing to do, but this was different. You weren’t a defenseless little kid. You could take care of yourself. “but it’s-“

“y/n,” Seonghwa’s hand landed on your shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, “just let us take care of you, okay?”

Something about his expression resonated with you, leaving you with the sudden urge to do exactly what he said. Seonghwa wanted nothing more than to help you, to take care of you, so why were you trying to fight him on it? Why wouldn’t you just let him do it? What was the harm in it? You would both be happier in the long run. 

“Okay.” You nodded, body relaxing at the smile your response pulled from him. God, he really was beautiful, wasn’t he?

“Now, please, eat.” He pushed a bowl of soup towards you, pulling you from the daze you had fallen into. 

You picked up the spoon he had fetched for you, turning your gaze away. You had been staring again, hadn’t you? Had he noticed? Your eyes glanced back in his direction, using your hair to shield your gaze as best as you could. He must have. Why else would he be smirking right about now. 

Shit.

“Shit.” You repeated the curse out loud, but this time out of pure shock after tasting the soup Seonghwa had brought for you. “Seonghwa, this is amazing!” And you weren’t lying. His soup tasted heavenly and you had to restrain yourself from eating it too quickly. The last thing you wanted was to throw it all back up, a thought that had you blushing once more remembering your interaction with Mingi the day before. 

“Thank you.” Seonghwa’s chin came to rest against the palm of his hand as you continued to praise his cooking. Amusement overtook his features at your antics, but you weren’t paying enough attention to him at the moment to notice it. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”

This time you did notice it when you looked back up at him, causing you to swiftly look away once more. Your gaze went back down to the bowl in front of you, fiddling with the spoon while you inwardly cursed yourself. You could feel your appetite disappearing as your embarrassment took over, and you had to fight the urge to apologize once more. He would probably only call you out on it again, leaving you more flustered than you were already. 

If he noticed or minded your discomfort, he didn’t show it, carrying on your conversation with an ease that would have left you jealous if you hadn’t been on the receiving end of it. He asked you about your interests, your hobbies, what family you had left, and everything in between. And though you might have felt slightly uncomfortable in the beginning, you felt more at ease around him as the night went on, especially once he made you a cup of tea. 

You were struggling to keep your eyes open towards the end, but too enthralled in the moment to make any move to end it. There was something about him that was addicting, each easy smile and brush against your skin pulling you in deeper until his presence consumed your mind entirely. Never in your life had you wanted someone, needed someone, so completely and this desire left your head spinning. 

Perhaps somewhere deep inside your mind, you were aware something wasn’t quite right, conscious of the hazy state of your brain and inability to think clearly. But it was impossible for you to fully grasp this thought as he helped you back upstairs. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, pulling you in close to him and making it impossible for you to not bury your face into him and let his scent consume you. 

Fingers danced across your skin, lips trailing along the curve of your neck. For a split second, the bliss was overtaken by a searing pain at your neck, causing your body to tense as the haze was momentarily broken. You reached for the figure over you, attempting to push them off as your panic overwhelmed you, only for your movements to still seconds later as soft reassurances were ushered against your lips. 

Everything was alright. Everything was just fine. You were safe here. Safe with him. He would take care of you. Give you everything you needed. All you had to do was let him. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When Felix arrived at your apartment, he found you laying headfirst on top of your bed, the clothes you had been trying on previously discarded haphazardly around you. The music you had turned on in an attempt to hype yourself up for the night had taken a new turn as Luke Black’s voice echoed around the loft. The lyrics ‘I just want to sleep forever’ mirroring your own sentiment at the moment. 

“Nothing to wear?” Felix was silent at first, and you turned your head over in his direction to find him leaning against the banister near the stairs, eyeing you with cool amusement. 

“I don’t think I’m gonna go anymore, Lix,” you replied before burying your head back into your pillow, causing your next words to muffle. “Just tell them I’m still not feeling well.” It wasn’t a complete lie. The nausea that had built up from your anxiety for tonight certainly made you feel sick at the moment.

“And why not?” 

Whether he chose to ignore your second statement, or simply didn’t hear it from your position, you didn’t know, but his focus into your first statement made you sigh. In truth, you weren’t sure what had started it all. One moment you were pilfering through your closet in search of something to wear, dancing along to the music coming through your speakers, and the next you were curled up on top of your bed fighting the urge to break down. You supposed it had probably started with a stray thought, briefly wondering what your new friends would think of you in your first selection before your mind had cracked. Nothing worked after that, and you quickly began to pick out each and every insecurity the outfits you tried on would show.

As much as you hated yourself for it, you had a hard time holding back your attraction for each of the eight males who had entered your life within the past few weeks. Whether it was just natural or your body rebounding in an attempt to regain what you lost, you weren’t sure. But it didn’t matter. Not when you knew it would only lead to you setting yourself up for another heartbreak. Tonight’s intent was nothing more than friendly, an attempt to get to know you better and let you run wild and loosen up after your recent breakup. There was nothing romantic involved, none of them held an ounce of interest in you. And why would they? They were of a class way above you and it was unbelievably stupid for you to think anything otherwise. The sooner you wrapped your head around it, the better.

But you couldn’t. Your mind kept roaming to your time with Seonghwa the night before. All the two of you had done was talk, but it hadn’t stopped you from wondering, what if? And it clearly hadn’t stopped your mind from running wild in your sleep. 

“Because I don’t have anything to wear.” You tossed the thoughts away, thankful your face was hidden from view. As much as you trusted Felix, you didn’t feel like talking about how much your last relationship had crushed you and how the lingering effects of it still haunted you to this day. That was a conversation that would only lead to you feeling worse than you did at the moment, so you left it buried inside for the moment, deciding to instead focus on the issue that had sprung this fit on you in the first place.

Felix hummed. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

He pushed himself off the edge of the banister to approach your bed, causing you to take a quick peak at him as he began rifling between the discarded articles of clothing. He had gone all out tonight, opting for an all black outfit. His shirt was form fitting, drawing attention to his toned chest while his pants had a looser, cargo fit to them. It was completed with the oversized jacket of his that you loved and a pair of bulky combat boots. The only hint of color in the whole ensemble was the hair he had just dyed a few shades closer to platinum and the neon purple graphic liner ordaining his eyes.

Your stomach dropped as you took him in, wondering why everyone in your life was so attractive. The only reason you could ever imagine any of them stayed around you was to make them feel better about themselves. You were only there as a confidence booster, so they wouldn’t be the ugly friend in the mix. 

“What about this?” Felix asked, pulling up the pleated black skirt you had first pulled on nearly an hour ago. “You can wear it with that one-sleeved crop you have and then we can match.”

“I don’t know.” You frowned, knowing exactly which shirt he was talking about, but not quite feeling it in your current mindset. Not when it showed off so much of your figure, the very thing that had caused this spiral. “I tried it on earlier and I don’t think I’m feeling it tonight.”

“Well, what if I told you, you could wear my jacket over it?” His brow quirked and you had a hard time keeping your expression level as your eyes roamed over the jacket he was referring to. You did love that jacket. “That way you can cover up if you want to and take it off if you’re comfortable.”

“I don’t know-”

“I’ll do your liner too,” he added, pulling out a bag from one of his pockets and tossing it over to you.

Your lips twisted, having a hard time keeping a smile from forming as you took in Felix’s collection of neon eyeliner. “Fine, you have a deal, but,” you sighed, slowly picking yourself up into a seated position, “just help me make sure I don’t do anything crazy tonight, will you? I don’t want to make a fool of myself again or do anything I’ll regret in the morning.” Your mind trailed back to your first night here, still fully embarrassed by your actions that night. And though Hongjoong had told you, you hadn’t said or done anything, you couldn’t help but doubt him, almost fully convinced he had just told you that to spare you some embarrassment.

“You have my word.” Felix nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. “So, hurry up and go get dressed so I can finish your makeup. We’re running late.”

You pulled yourself out of bed, taking the skirt in Felix’s hand and pilfering around the rest of the scattered clothes for the top he had mentioned earlier. Once you had found both pieces, you made your way into the bathroom to change. While you felt slightly better after your conversation with Felix, you still couldn’t quite find your confidence back anymore. Your eyes still traveled across your figure in the mirror, wondering just what it was about you that was faulty? What was it that had made Jae seek comfort elsewhere? What was it that had driven him away?

“y/n?” You were distracted at the soft knock at the door, followed by Felix calling out to you. “You okay?”

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath to help settle your nerves. Tonight was about having fun, letting loose and celebrating the fact you had finally gotten out of the toxic relationship you had begun to think you were truly stuck in. Now was not the time to let his lies get the better of you. You couldn’t let him continue to haunt your life after finally becoming free. You needed to let him go and move on, fully enjoying this new side of life you had craved for so long. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” you replied, turning from the mirror and refusing to look at yourself any longer. Tonight was going to be fun. All you had to do was let yourself enjoy it for what it was: the beginning of new friendships and a new life altogether. “Just give me a second to do the rest of my makeup and then I’ll be ready.”

You didn’t spend too much time on it, deciding it best to keep your face fairly bare for the night. With Felix offering to do a fun graphic design on your eyes, you kept the rest of it light and neutral, not wanting to risk it running or smudging later on in the night. 

“You know, Lix,” you began a few minutes later, sitting up on the bathroom counter for Felix to complete your look for you, “if you would have told me six months ago I would have fallen in love with a man with a bowl cut and a green bolero jacket, I would have called you crazy. And yet, here we are.” You did your best to keep your face still as he worked, but you couldn’t stop the giggle that followed your words. The current song blasting through your speakers was the direct inspiration for the color you had opted for tonight and your former sentiment. “I think my heart has quite literally been stolen away.”

Felix snickered, taking a step back to check your line and see if it needed to be touched up anywhere. “Kaarija does have a certain charm about him, doesn’t he?” he hummed, grabbing the green liner again to fix a spot he found on your left eye. “There, all done.”

He stepped back once more, taking a few moments to appreciate his work before having you turn around and see if for yourself. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you took in your appearance, the bright green of the liner bringing the attention straight to your eyes from your otherwise all black look.

“It looks great!” You admired the design for a few more seconds, once again envious of his superior makeup skills. Despite being the more artistic one between the two of you, his ability in this field far outweighed your own. “You’re the best, y’know?” You jumped down from the counter, taking just a moment to straighten your skirt back out and fix the edge of your collar that was digging into your neck. “Now, your jacket, please?” You turned back towards him, extending your hand for the article of clothing he had promised you earlier.

“In a moment.” Felix stopped you with his index finger, picking his phone up off the counter and waving it over at you. “Pictures first.” 

You rolled your eyes, fighting the urge to argue with him. It wasn’t going to get you anywhere. When it came to pictures, Felix was worse than your mother had been growing up. Any attempt at fighting it would only lead to him taking pictures that would only serve to embarrass you later. 

“C’mon, we have to record this momentous event,” he replied, taking quick note of your outward distaste for it. “Plus, I look good, you look good- No, I’m serious, y/n.” His hand reached for your shoulder, leaning down to match your height. “And I’m not saying that just because I’m your best friend or because I did an amazing job on your makeup. You look good. Really good. You’re not going to be lacking any dance partners or having to buy any drinks tonight-”

“Shut up.” You shove Felix away from you, trying to hide the smile and blush he pulled out of you. You didn’t believe his words, not truly, but the compliments still left your stomach fluttering.

Once Felix was satisfied, you demanded his jacket once more. This time he didn’t try to fight you on it, glady shrugging the piece off and handing it over to you. You took it greedily, feeling more confident than you had all night once the oversized fit of it helped to hide the shape of your body. It was still summer, and you knew it would quickly heat up once you got inside the club, but you figured you would be able to last until you had one or two drinks in you, letting the alcohol give you the courage you currently lacked without it.

“Y’know,” you began once you turned back to Felix, taking in his outfit with new appreciation. “You could make a pretty good Leon cosplay with that.”

“You think?” Felix turned back to the mirror beside you, considering your words as he looked over his outfit one last time, running a hand through his hair. “Hmm, you’re right. Maybe next con, then? You could always be Ashley.”

You shook your head. “If we’re going that route, I think I’d prefer Ada. Her dress in the new remake is very pretty.” Now that you were ready, you grabbed your phone back off the counter to let the others know you would be downstairs to meet them in just a few minutes.

Any confidence you had managed to build up in the last few minutes slowly faded away as you read through the few messages you had missed, wondering if you were really mentally ready for tonight. The nerves you had carefully locked away now returned in full force, leaving you itching to call out sick once more.

Why were they doing this? You fully understood Felix’s intentions when he had asked Hongjoong if they wanted to join you two, but why had he accepted the offer? Why had any of them accepted the offer? Felix hadn’t exactly been the most subtle about it when he had invited them, so why did they seem so enthused about going? 

You didn’t understand it. You didn’t understand them. Why were they so nice to you? Why were they so friendly towards you? Always ready to help at a moment’s notice. You weren’t anything special. Nothing worth the attention they seemed so keen to give you. So, why? Why did they do it?

“You ready, n/n?” Felix asked, pulling your head from your phone as he gathered up the few possessions he had brought with him. 

“Ready.” You nodded, quickly hitting send before pocketing your phone. You were hardly ready, but you doubted you would ever be ready to put yourself out there once more.

You took one last deep breath as you followed Felix down the hall, preparing yourself for the night’s events. Tonight was going to be fun. After all, in one way or another, it was all about you.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your nails tapped against the back of your phone case, fighting the urge to turn it around and check it once more. There was nothing to check, no notification or reason to open it up and look, but the need to find something to occupy yourself and give your fidgeting hands something to do was overwhelming. You had already shuffled through the phone several times in your hand, opening the screen up only to turn it off moments later when you realized you had nothing to do. 

The original intention had been to walk. The club was just a few streets down from your new apartment, but a steady rain had begun to fall, leaving you no choice but to make the short drive over there instead. You had thought it wouldn’t have been any big deal, but Felix had called shotgun the moment you had neared Mingi’s car - the wink that followed all but telling the intent behind it. The awkward conversation that followed left you offering to take the middle seat in the back, stuck between Yeosang and Jongho. You tried not to let it get to you, but your nerves were already high, and neither of the men beside you were particularly shy when it came to space. More pictures were taken, and though you couldn’t fathom why they wanted you in them too, you were squeezed in between them without a second thought. This combined with the looks Felix gave you in the rear view mirror while he chatted with Mingi only served to fuel your flustered state. 

Though fall was right around the corner, it was warmer than you had expected to be, and it didn’t take long in your trip to start growing hot from the jacket you had borrowed for the night. The drive was supposed to be a few minutes, but the streets were riddled with traffic and you eventually found yourself shrugging out of it when you couldn’t stand the heat any longer. 

Though you had passed by the Illusion on your way to and from your new apartment before, you had never seen it in full swing on the weekend before. Despite being highly exclusive, the line to get inside wrapped around the block, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long you would spend waiting outside in the rain and whether or not it would be worth it. Before you could voice your concern, however, Mingi had pulled the car to the side and Yeosang had pulled you out behind him, sharing his jacket with you to help shield you from the rain. Yeosang didn’t give the line a passing glance, guiding you towards the bouncer stationed at the front. He didn’t say a word as your group approached, letting you through with nothing more than a curious glance in your direction. 

You barely had time to take in the interior of the club before a hand was at the base of your back. The contact made you jump, afraid of who had gotten close to you already, but when you turned your head, you found it was only San. 

“This way.” His head tilted to the stairs at your left a few feet ahead of you before he used the grip he had on you to lead you towards them. There was another bouncer standing guard at the base, but he only gave San a small nod as you moved past him, making you wonder just what sort of connections Hongjoong had with the owner to have this sort of access. 

It was quieter upstairs, and you quickly became aware of the difference in air up here. Though only a few people roamed the premises - all who weren’t even trying to be subtle in their assessment of your figure tucked next to San - it was clear they were all of a class far different than your own. The clothes, the jewelry, hell, the mere way they held themselves, made you instantly aware of the fact you didn’t belong here. The cheap material of your clothes stuck out like a sore thumb, and it took everything in you to not disappear from view. 

San’s hand slipped further around your waist, fingers digging into your hip as he guided you past the bar and towards a private seating area back in the corner. It was set aside from the rest of the upstairs area, strategically set up between walls so it was given a bit of privacy from the other patrons milling about. A couch took up the majority of the space, looking out at the main floor beneath you. It was here that San dragged you to, pulling you down in the corner beside him. 

“Seonghwa and Yunho are getting the first round.” Wooyoung plopped himself down in the empty spot next to you before you had a chance to create some distance between yourself and San, effectively enclosing you in between them for the time being.

“Oh, okay. Just let me know how much I owe each of you and I’ll-“

“Don’t worry about it,” San replied before you had a chance to finish. “It’s our treat.”

“But-“ You understood the attempt to cheer you up, but you also weren’t a charity case. You didn’t need their help with everything. You could pay for your own drinks. 

“C’mon,” Wooyoung pouted, leaning in ever so closer to you. Just like Seonghwa from the night before and the two you had been trapped in between in the car earlier, he and San smelled good. There was a distinct difference to each of them, but the same undertones were there. Something distinctly sweet, effectively pulling you in. Your body subconsciously mirrored his movements, leaning further into him. “Won’t you let us buy you a few drinks?”

Your head nodded on its own accord, wondering why you had been opposed to it in the first place. There was no harm in letting them buy you a few drinks, now was there? Not when they were the ones offering. 

You weren’t sure exactly what drink Yunho had gotten you when it was passed down your way, but you weren’t about to complain when it was free. All it took was one sip to realize there was nothing to worry about. Whatever fruity cocktail they had gotten you satiated a thirst you weren’t even aware of, causing you to down the contents far quicker than you should have. 

Wooyoung was the first one to ask you to dance. You didn’t know exactly how to take the request, stomach fluttering as his head bent down towards your own. You wanted to, truly you did, but you didn’t think you had the confidence to do so. His intent was probably just friendly, but it couldn’t stop a wave of nerves from flooding through you at the idea. There was no way you could get that close to him without panicking, and if you panicked, god. That was a whole other disaster to contend with. 

So, you did your best to politely decline his offer, saying you were fine sitting here for the time being. And was it just your imagination or did Wooyoung seem upset by your answer? You didn’t have too much time to contemplate the matter, your attention quickly stolen elsewhere when another drink was passed down to you.  

You drank this one more slowly, already feeling the effects of the first one. For a brief moment, you thought something about it was a bit off, finding it strange to feel this tipsy after only one drink. You also wondered where Felix had gotten to, not seeing him in the sea of people around you and feeling a bit antsy by yourself, but both thoughts passed quickly when a question from Jongho pulled your attention to him and leaned further into San beside you. 

He was also asking if you wanted to dance, but you shyly shook your head, giggling some excuse about not being very good and hoping your face wasn’t quite as red as it felt. All the while, you found yourself sinking even further into San’s grip, whose hand was trailing along the length of your thigh as you finished the rest of your second glass. 

A part of you was somewhat aware of your current state, yelling at yourself to pick yourself back up and create some distance, but San’s other arm had crept around your waist and his presence was so warm and reassuring, you didn’t have the strength to do so. The way his fingers dug into the skin of your waist all but telling you everything was just fine. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to dance, pretty?”

San’s question made you stop for just a second, wondering whether you did want to dance or not. You were pretty sure you did, but the thought made your stomach flip once more. He didn’t actually want to dance with you, did he? He was only asking to be nice. To be polite. Because who else in this place was going to want to?

So, then, what did it matter if you went with him? What did it matter if you embarrassed yourself in front of them? It wouldn’t change the outcome of the night?  So, maybe you should go out there and enjoy yourself.

“Hongjoong, darling, you didn’t tell me you were coming tonight.” 

Whatever response you were going to give San fell away at the new voice, finding a woman alongside Mingi and Seonghwa as they made their way back from the bar. She was older than you by a few years and though her features were sharp, there was a certain poise about her that drew the attention of the room towards her. She held herself with a confidence foreign to you, made complete by the immaculate way she dressed, easily worth more than your entire wardrobe combined. Her attention was focused on Hongjoong a few people down from you, eyes barely passing over the rest of the group as she sat down next to him.  

You didn’t catch Hongjoong’s reply, distracted by the drink that was passed your way once more. For just a moment, you were vaguely aware that no one else seemed to be having quite as many drinks as you, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came when you caught a whiff of the drink. 

“y/n.” San attempted to pull your attention back to him, repeating the question he had asked before. 

Your brow furrowed, eyes glancing over at the woman now sitting next to Hongjoong. You were distinctly aware of the way she was leaning into him and the way her nails traced along his arm. It left a pit beginning to grow inside your stomach, especially when her eyes caught hold of yours and a smirk appeared. And despite the attention you were getting from the others, you could feel your confidence waning, fully aware someone like her was miles above you. 

“Sorry, will you excuse me for a moment?” 

You set your half-empty drink on the table in front of you, pulling yourself out of San’s grasp. Getting up left your head spinning, and you stumbled across the floor. Where exactly you were heading, you weren’t sure. You just needed to get out of there for a second and clear your mind before your panic overtook you. 

Coming here had been a terrible idea. You should have stayed home? Why hadn’t you stayed home? You weren’t ready, not yet. You knew something like this was bound to happen, so why had it bothered you so much? Because you had secretly held on to some hope that one of their actions had been more than friendly? Or because you had been reminded how beneath everyone you were? How it was stupid to think anyone would ever like you.

“Woah, careful there.” 

Hands caught your stumbling form at the bottom of the stairs, steadying you. You looked up, the apology at the tip of your tongue disappearing when you saw the man that had caught you. His figure towered over you, dark eyes peeking out between strands of hair dyed a bright teal. And though the lower half of his face was covered by a black mask, you had a pretty good idea of the beauty that must have laid beneath.

“Well, aren’t you just something special?” His head tilted as he assessed your features, dark eyes running unabashedly along your features. Fingers brushed back the hair at your neck as he leaned further down, breathing you in. “Hmm, maybe I should have taken you when I had the chance.”

“Jiwoon,” the man’s head snapped up at the voice behind you, eyes widening momentarily at the hand that was suddenly at his throat, “what do you think you’re doing? Get your fucking hands off of her.”

Despite the venom lacing their words and the hand at his throat, Jiwoon seemed unperturbed. He simply eyed the figure behind you with cool amusement before pointedly stepping away from you and raising his hands to signify he had done what was asked of him to remove the grip they had on him

“There’s no need to get all worked up, Yeosang.” Jiwoon’s hands were quickly replaced by another as he replied, encircling your waist and bringing you back into him. You had a hard time focusing on his words, mind preoccupied by the familiar scent that surrounded you in that moment. “I was simply helping the poor girl. Seems like she’s had quite a bit to drink tonight.” His eyes focused back onto you, taking note of the way your head had buried itself into Yeosang’s neck.

Something had upset you earlier, hadn’t it? But what? You couldn’t quite remember what had dragged you away anymore. 

“Consider yourself lucky I’m the one who came to fetch her. I don’t think some of the others would take as kindly to seeing your fangs that close to her neck.” 

“Whatever you say.” Jiwoon shrugged, brushing past the two of you to head upstairs. “Unlike some of the other vermin in this city, I do know my place. You have nothing to fear from me.”

"Are you okay, pretty?" Yeosang tugged you out from him, inspecting the skin along your throat where Jiwoon's face had been. "As much as I hate to admit it, Jiwoon was right. You've had quite a bit to drink tonight and it's dangerous to be on your own in this state. Who knows who might try to take advantage of you."

"I'm sorry, I just..." Just what? You had left for some reason hadn't you, but what had that been? Why had you left so suddenly? You searched for the answer in your memory, but came up short.

"No one's judging you, sweetheart." Yeosang's eyes met yours once he was satisfied with his assessment. "You can drink all you want. Just make sure you stick with one of us, 'kay? Especially if you want to come down to dance." At your confirmation, his eyes briefly traveled to the area behind you. "Is that why you came down here, n/n? Do you want to dance?"

No, you didn't think so, but then again, you couldn't remember your reasoning for leaving anymore. Perhaps Yeosang was right. Perhaps that was why you had left. Perhaps you had wanted to come dance.

One look at Yeosang was all it took for confirmation, and you shyly nodded your head at his question. The smile your response pulled out of him left your heart fluttering, masking any former reservations you might have had for the act as he pulled you along after him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“She has no idea, does she?”

It took all Hongjoong’s will to look up from your figure on the floor below, having finally been able to coax you out to the dance floor after several drinks. He couldn’t understand your timid denial to their advances from the first half of the trip, unable to work out why you were so persistent to stay in the shadows when you could move like that.

Yeosang had been the first to pull you out there, a fact San was heavily upset over seeing how close he had been at getting you to agree and fully blamed him for. I had her, San had pouted when Yeosang had begun to gloat over his victory earlier, and then you just had to let that stupid witch get close to you. 

Hongjoong hadn’t put much merit into his words, finding it nothing more than San grasping at straws when you had refused him, but he couldn’t wonder if perhaps there had been some merit to San’s words at the expression that crossed your face when he had stolen you from Yunho earlier. The hesitation and slight disbelief in your eyes as he pulled you in next to him did make him falter for a split second, feeling almost guilty for not doing anything about Yunjin’s obvious advances. You had left without explanation when Yunjin had appeared, after all. But the guilt only strayed for a second, quickly replaced by the satisfaction he felt at knowing he had that sort of hold over you, for knowing you were struggling to hold your attraction for him at bay.

He hadn’t gotten you for nearly as long as he had wanted, having you tugged away shortly after when San had come back for you. You were still currently tucked against his side at the moment, with Wooyoung pressed tightly on the other side of you. Though you had been nervous and flighty with the contact earlier in the night, your inhibitions had long since left you from the blood they had filled you with, and the sensual sway of your hips not only enticed the two men holding you, but anyone else who was watching.

And watching, they were.

The Illusion mainly catered to those nonhuman, and though the club had its fair share of humans that milled the premises on a given night for the right price, the majority of the patrons here tonight were fully aware of who he and his brothers were and did their best to keep their distance. This didn’t, however, keep their eyes from traveling to you, and though no one dared to approach you, their curiosity was impossible to contain. He didn’t mind. Quite the opposite really, taking full pleasure in knowing how they wished you would have been theirs. They were more than welcome to look all they wanted, just as long as they didn’t touch.

“No idea about what?” Hongjoong set his glass down, unable to quite stomach it. Despite having spent years collecting the highest quality blood, it all paled in comparison to your own now. And though you were one floor down and surrounded by a crowd of people, your blood still sung to him, all but begging for him to come and have another taste.

“I guess I can’t really blame you,” she sighed, swirling the contents of her drink. “From what I’ve been told, it’s all the more enticing when they’re kept in the dark.” Her eyes flickered downstairs to where her partner was currently entangled with Felix. Just like they had predicted, the blonde had caught the eyes of both Yunjin and Jiwoon the moment their group had stepped foot inside the club. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t able to get in on the fun tonight and was left on her own. Felix’s eyes had only been for the blue haired man at her side. “But one of Maeve's children? How did you find her?”

“You tell us.” It was Yunho further down the couch who spoke, the first to broach the matter they had discovered earlier on in the night. “You’ve been dabbling with her blood for quite some time now, haven’t you?”

They had always wondered just where she was getting her supply, but they had never bothered to pry into her affairs that far before. Though they had had their differences in the past, they did trust her. But when Yunho had discovered a stock of you blood in her storage when he dropped off her most recent order of blood, however, they had all quickly begun to connect the dots together. Yunjin and Jiwoon had known you were in the city for years and yet, they had kept their mouths shut.

“I wasn’t aware that it was a crime.” Her expression remained neutral, but he could hear her heartbeat begin to flutter, scent increasing momentarily at the accusation.

“It’s not.” Yunjin had broken no laws in dabbling with the trade of your blood, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t frustrated with her on the matter. “I’m just disappointed you never told us about it.” He leaned back in his seat, eyes traveling once more to your figure. For a brief moment your eyes opened and caught his, and the smile that crossed your lips was the last straw. He motioned to Seonghwa next to him, who took off without needing any further instruction. “I thought we were friends.”

“Aren’t we though, Joongie, dear?” She shifted her body towards him, tracing a manicured hand along his shoulder. “After all, haven’t I always had your back in the past?” The nails traveled to the back of his neck, tracing along the edge of the tattoo peaking past his collar; the very tattoo she had etched upon his skin nearly two centuries ago and the very same tattoo she had given to the rest of them years later as his coven grew.

He didn’t bother removing her hand from him, instead taking the moment to grab hold of her chin and pull her face even closer to his own. “I won’t deny you’ve been a very loyal pet over the years, my darling, Yunjin.” He relished the way her lips twitched at the word, unable to fully mask her annoyance. Although he had always treated her as an equal in the past, they were very much aware just who was in charge. “And I always make sure to take care of my pets, now don’t I? Have I ever failed you yet?”

“No,” she hummed, trying hard to hide her frustration, “I suppose not.”

Movement caught the corner of his eye and he let her go as your figure tumbled into the room beside Seonghwa. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist, keeping your stumbling figure upright. Though the alcohol content in your drinks had been light, the blood they had mixed into them had done you in, getting rid of your inhibitions and allowing you to act on your most primal needs when it came to them. It left you clinging to Seonghwa’s side, burying your head against his chest.

“y/n.” His voice was low as he called out to you, taking full pleasure in the shy smile that peaked its way out as you turned towards him. He extended his hand out towards you, beckoning you over to him. With Seonghwa’s help, you took it, collapsing down on top of him when he tugged you forward.

There was little resistance from you now, folding yourself up against him. “You smell nice, ‘Joong.” Your words mumbled against his neck, sending a jolt down his spine.

Despite hearing about the bond shared between vampires and your kind, he had no idea the true extent of it until he had finally felt it for himself. The pull had been strong before you had been tied to them, but it was something else altogether now. Everything about you had been fully designed with his kind in mind, lulling him to come and take you all for himself.

“Are you having fun, love?” 

He brushed your hair out of the way, fingers trailing along the side of your neck. The shirt you had chosen for the night had covered it up in the beginning, but it hadn’t taken them long to fix that little problem. Yeosang had ripped the fabric away the moment you had allowed him to get in close to you, leaving the neckline torn and the shirt now ruined from the frayed ends of the collar. 

And despite the numerous feedings done upon you tonight by each of them, the skin beneath his touch was smooth and unblemished. All it took was a few drops of their own to heal you right up, making it all the easier for them to pretend it had been nothing more than a dream.

“Mmhmm, but I think I might need another drink. I’m thirsty.”

He wasn’t surprised by your statement. None of them had done much to restrain themselves tonight, and though your kind’s blood replenished itself far faster than any human, you had been drained far more than you could keep up with on your own. That was where their blood came in once again, speeding up the process even more.

“Is that so?” His fingers dug into the hair at the base of your neck, pulling your head away from him momentarily. With his other hand, he quickly nicked the area of his skin where your mouth had just been. “Go on then.”

For a split second, your brow bunched up, taken back by the display. Even in your dazed state, this hadn’t been what you meant when you had asked for a drink and he could see the attempt your mind made to break through the haze they had created. But the panic was short lived with a gentle murmur of encouragement from himself. Your mouth collided with his throat, greedily lapping up the blood before his body healed the injury for him.

“She certainly is a pretty, little thing, isn’t she?” Jiwoon had appeared in the doorway, eyes shining as he took in your figure. Felix was no longer in sight and Hongjoong could only suppose the vampire had finally started to lose interest once he had gotten his fill of the boy tonight. He leaned down on the couch behind Yunjin, draping his arms around her shoulders and giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. 

“And you would know, now wouldn’t you?” Yeosang growled, glaring at the man across the room. “You got quite the look at her earlier.”

“You did, did you?” This caught all of their attention, but Seonghwa was the first to speak. 

“Can you blame me?” Jiwoon shrugged, unaffected by the accusation. “I’ve never seen one of Maeve’s descendants in person before. How ever did you manage it?”

“She came to us all on her own, no thanks to you two.” Seonghwa settled back into his seat, hand running down the length of your calf. Hongjoong could see the jealousy his oldest friend attempted to mask, but he didn’t feel any guilt towards having you at the moment. Seonghwa had had his fun with you all by himself the night before. “Waltzed right on in without the slightest idea of just what she had gotten herself into.”

“She just walked in?”

“Your old seller had no idea just what he held in his hands.” Hongjoong replied, relishing in the feel of your hands playing with the ends of his hair. Now that you were no longer quite as thirsty, you made yourself comfortable in his lap, resting after the time you had spent dancing. “If he had, he would have never let her run wild like he did. He would have kept her close and done everything he could to make sure she stayed.”

“I always knew he was nothing more than a child,” Yunjin murmured, eyeing your figure on top of him, “but I did think he had enough common sense to piece things together. But then again,” her smile returned, leaning back into her lover, “I was undercharging him quite a bit and he never said a word. Made an absolute fortune off of him.”

So that was why she had kept her mouth shut. The moment she let them know of your presence, she would have lost out on a fortune. And if there was one thing Yunjin cared more than anything, it was a golden opportunity to benefit herself. Jiwoon must have only gone along with it because they both knew what would have happened whenever they found out. The temptation must have been great, but he prized his life much more than having you at his side. He knew what would have happened if they found out he had bonded you to himself. Once the contract was in place, there was only one way to break it, after all. 

“He’s dead, then?”

“Not yet.” He shook his head, careful in his movements now that your movements had stilled and your eyes had closed. He wasn’t surprised; they hadn’t particularly gone easy on your body or mind tonight. And though their blood helped in some ways, you had to have been drained. “We still have a use for him.” 

In the beginning, Hongjoong hadn’t cared whether the man lived or died. Of course, in the end, he would die. He hadn’t been given permission to turn, and none of them felt any inclination to bend the rules for him, especially after discovering just how he had treated you over the past few years. So, they would leave him be for now. And then, once they had fully won you over and his use had been completed, they would get rid of him. 

“…But, then how-“

“Their blood may have been exchanged, but she was never contractually bound to him. He had enough understanding to know how valuable her blood was and to make sure he fed her his blood, but was fucking clueless when it came to knowing just what he had in his hands.” Seonghwa sighed, leaning back in his seat now that he had no chance of stealing you away from him. 

Hongjoong’s eyes trailed back down to your sleeping figure as the conversation turned towards business; Yunjin wondering whether or not she could count on them to keep her supply of your blood in stock. She had been right when she had said things were all the more thrilling when they didn’t know what exactly was going on, but ignorance would only work for so long on you. Whether it was a few months or a few years, eventually the truth would come out. And when it did, he didn’t doubt it would end up ugly. But no matter how much you fought or struggled, it didn’t matter. You were theirs now. Nothing you did could or would separate yourself from them now. They had made sure of it. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglists will be added in reblogs :) if you don't see yourself tagged, it might be because i missed you (which is a complete possibility as i do tend to miss a few. the easiest way to make sure i didn't is to send an ask!)

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗎𝗌𝗍 - 𝖢.𝖲. (𝖯𝗍. 3)

Disclaimer: Hate hate hate this chapter but some of y'all were getting mean so here is chapter 3. I think it's trash. My motivation has been shit lately so we'll see where this story goes.

Synopsis: Y/n runs away from her problems

Warnings: Language, heroin use, angst, 18+

Word Count: 2.8k+

Chris’s POV

I swear I was going to lose my fucking my mind in this tiny concrete room. I hadn’t even been in here for two hours and the anxiety was taking over. The cop sat at his desk, sipping his coffee loudly while watching a football game on a small tv that faced away from me. I was going to have to sit here until Monday morning and all I had to do was think. 

A million thoughts ran through my head. I’m sure Matt and Nick already called our parents and they were going to be pissed beyond belief. Luckily our podcast was pre-recorded but if I’m not out soon news is going to get around that I’m in here. But most of all, I thought about Y/n. She seemed so upset. I knew she was blaming herself for this and I prayed she wouldn’t do anything stupid. I know how vulnerable she can get when she’s down. But I know Matt and Nick will look out for her.

“Yo, don’t I get a phone call or something?” I asked the cop.

He responded with a long sigh, as if my question was making his entire job more difficult. I furrowed my brows at him, awaiting his response. “Fine.” He finally said. He got up and unlocked the cell door before leading me over to the phone. “You got two minutes, kid.”

I nodded and picked up the phone. I dialed Nick’s number, knowing he was most likely to answer.

“Hello?”

“Nick? Hey! It’s Chris!”

“Chris! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” I responded. I could hear Matt in the background and Nick switched his phone to speaker.

“Chris, we'll bond you out first thing after your hearing on Monday! Mom and dad already hired a lawyer.” Matt said.

I sighed, knowing how disappointed they were going to be. “Cool. Cool. Uhhh can I talk to Y/n?”

Matt and Nick were both silent for a few moments. “Uhm…she’s not here…”

“Well where is she?”

“I’m not sure…”

I could hear the change in Nicks voice. Something was wrong. “What’s going on? Why are you talking like that?”

“Well…She uhm…Her and Matt kind of-”

“I kicked her out!”

“You did what?!”

“She’s always gotten you into trouble, Chris. I’m sick of it. I don’t want to see you ruin your life over her. I know you’re like in love with her or whatever but-”

“Go find her. Now!” I spat. “You don’t fucking understand, Matt. You don’t fucking understand what you did! Go find her and make sure she is fucking safe!”

“Chris, what do you mean?”

“Now!” I slammed the phone down on the receiver.

“Watch it!” The cop said. I bit my tongue and followed him back to my cell. 

I sat in the corner of the tiny bed and buried my head in my knees, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I loved Y/n more than anything in the entire world and I knew her better than anyone. I was the only one who knew she experimented with opioids. I tried them with her but I noticed how she started using them to numb her pain and I quit. After having to Narcan her TWICE I made her promise to never touch them again. I threatened to tell her parents. I told her I would take her to rehab. She begged me not to. I know I should have but she swore to me she wouldn’t touch them again. I helped her through her withdrawals and over the last two years she’d been true to her word as far as I knew. I mean I was with her most of the time and never saw her use or act shady. But now I wasn’t there when she needed me and who knows what Matt said to her. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! I couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. My whole body was shaking with anxiety.

Y/n’s POV

“Y/n! Y/N!” Danny yelled, kicking my foot. I jolted awake and struggled to see through blurred vision. I rubbed my eyes and slowly took in my surroundings as an overwhelming wave of nausea took over my body. 

“Ugh, what?” 

“Your phone’s been ringing non stop! Fucking answer it or turn it off. It’s annoying.”

I felt for my phone as previous events returned to my memory. Chris was arrested. I got in a fight with Matt. One thing led to the next and I somehow ended up at Danny’s house smacked out of my mind. I wasn’t proud of this. But remembering what Matt said to me, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. 

My phone started ringing again and I was able to find it between the cushions of Danny’s old, cigarette stained couch. The screen lit up with Matt’s name and I could feel the bile rising in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and shut the door quickly behind me. I sat on the floor, heaving over the toilet, but not much came out. I can’t remember the last time I ate. I didn’t even know what day it was. I sat back and pulled out my phone. 13 missed calls from Matt and Nick combined. 5 from my mother along with three texts asking where I was. A missed call from an unknown number. To top it all off, it was 6:23 pm on Sunday. What the hell had happened in the last day and a half? 

I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was a tangled mess, a stained crop top clung to my malnourished frame and a pair of baggy sweatpants (that didn’t belong to me) were tied tightly to my waist. I looked at the fresh track marks on my arm, a trail of dried blood leading halfway down my forearm. I was disappointed in myself. I promised Chris I would never go back to this. But it was too late now. I pulled my phone back out, ignoring all the messages from Matt and Nick and opening the text thread with my mom. I typed out a quick message. 

Hey mom, I’m fine. Haven’t been feeling great this weekend so I’ve been sleeping. Didn’t mean to worry you.

Not three seconds after I sent it, she was calling me. I sighed, really not in any head space to talk to her but I knew I was already on her last nerve so I took a deep breath and answered.

“Hello?” I definitely sounded sick.

“Y/n! Honey! Where are you?! Are you okay?!”

“I-I’m fine, mom. I’m at home. I’m just a little sick.”

“Nick and Matt said you weren’t at your house! They were just there!”

Fuck. Why the fuck had they come by?

“I just stepped out to get some medicine. I just got back.” I lied.

The lie seemed to calm her down a bit. “MaryLou told us what happened to Chris. We just wanted to make sure you were doing okay.” 

“Yeah, mom. I’m fine. Matt and Nick are going to bail him out tomorrow.” I felt nauseous again thinking about it. I didn’t know what to expect when Chris got out. I wasn’t great with confrontation and after the situation with Matt and relapsing with Danny, I didn’t really want to face Chris. “Uhm, mom, some friends asked me to go camping for a few days. So my service might be spotty.”

“I thought you were sick?”

“Yeah, I think it’s just like food poisoning or something. I should be better by tomorrow. But I’ll call you when I can, okay?”

“Y/n, are you sure you’re okay? If something is wrong you can tell us, we can come out there…”

“No, I’m fine mom. I promise. I’ll talk to you soon, okay? I love you!”

With that, I hung up on her and quickly exited the bathroom. “Danny, let’s go.”

“Go where?” He asked. 

“I-I don’t know. San Diego or something? I just need to get out of here before Chris gets out tomorrow?”

“Why? I thought you looooved him.” Danny mocked. “You’ve been mumbling about him non stop.” He sighed and sat back.

Danny liked you. That wasn’t a secret. He wasn’t bad looking. But he was a “bad boy”. His main job was drug dealing. He hung around with shady people, did shady shit, and hated on people like the Sturniolo’s for being in the public eye. Even though you were getting into your modeling career, Danny didn’t seem to care. You didn’t believe Danny’s feelings were deep. You didn’t believe Danny was capable of deep feelings or love. But you were hot and you had him wrapped around your finger.

“I-I can’t face Chris like this. I just want to get away from here. Please?” 

“My cousin has a condo down in Chula Vista. It’s right by the beach. I could call him.”

“Okay. I’m gonna run to my apartment and grab some things.”

I left Danny’s apartment, and ran up to mine. I grabbed a duffle bag from my closet and grabbed some clothes, a toothbrush, and some deodorant. The basic necessities. I was almost done packing when I heard a knock on my door. 

“Coming!” I said, assuming it was Danny. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door. I swung it open, ready to go but stopped in my tracks when I saw Matt standing in front of me. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked.

It was hard to find my voice. My mind was a mess and my body was hurting. I needed a fix. “Uhm- Camping. With some friends.”

“Camping with friends. What friends?” Matt asked, stepping into my apartment now. 

“Just some friends. You don’t know them.” It was somewhat true. Nick and Matt didn’t know Danny. Hence why they couldn’t find me earlier. But lying to my mom about camping with friends was one thing. She didn’t know my social circle out here. Chris, Nick, and Matt on the other hand, pretty much were my social circle. We shared the same friends. If I really was to go camping with friends, chances are they’d be coming too. 

“Look, Y/n. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday…I was just upset and it was wrong of me to blame it on you.” I didn’t know how to respond so I just looked to the floor. “Chris is really going to want to see you tomorrow and-” He stopped, noticing my arms. He grabbed my wrist and yanked my arm into view. “Y/n, what the fuck happened to your arms?! Have you been shooting up?!”

“Ready to go, Princess? My cousin said-” Danny appeared in my doorway. “Well look what the cat dragged in.” Danny said with his skeezy smile. 

Matt looked him up and down before looking back at me. Danny had on tight jeans with chains and a sleeveless band shirt. He reeked of cigarette smoke and I knew Matt was judging me.

“This is who you’re going camping with?” Matt asked.

“Look, I gotta go…” I said pushing past Matt and locking my door. 

“So you’re just going to dip out on Chris?” Matt asks. “Come on Y/n. You’re better than this guy!”

“Excuse me?” Danny asks, turning to face Matt. I step in front of Danny, putting my hand on his chest. 

“Matt. You said it yourself. I’m no good for Chris…” 

“Y/n, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine. I gotta go. Take care of him, okay?” 

With that, I grabbed Danny’s hand and pulled him along with me down to his car to avoid any further conversation with Matt. I noticed his van with Nick inside sitting in the parking lot. He looked confused. I looked away and climbed into Danny’s car, urging him to drive away. 

Danny offered me a cigarette and I took it. Remaining quiet as I sparked it. He didn’t ask questions. But he did place his hand on my knee as he drove. “You don’t need them, Princess. I’ll take care of you.”

The words made my stomach twist into a knot. I wanted Chris. But Matt was right. I didn’t deserve him. I was exactly where I deserved to be. “You got any more dope?” 

“Gonna pick some up on our way, don’t worry.” He smiled at me. I attempted a half ass smile as I bit back the urge to cry. I looked down at my phone, studying the photo of me and Chris I had set as my wallpaper. It was a silly photo of us in highschool. We were both laughing, I was on Chris’s back as he ran down the hall with me. It was a time in my life I was truly happy. 

I shut my phone off and threw it in my bag, focusing on the world passing by through the window of Danny’s old BMW. I knew this wasn’t the right move but I was never good at confronting my problems and the promise of an escape and drugs was enough to leave LA and Chris behind me.

Chris’s POV

I sat silently while the judge went over my charges. Cameron Jacobs and his family sat and watched with smug looks on their faces. Matt and Nick sat on the opposite side of the courtroom, ready to bail me out. I was disappointed when they showed up without Y/n. 

The judge set my bond to $5,000 and gave me another court date. By noon, I was gathering my things and climbing into the van. Nick was hounding me with questions while Matt remained relatively quiet. 

“So where’s Y/n?” I asked, no longer wanting to think about the trouble I was in or the fact that I would have to call my parents when I got home and get my ass chewed out, or the fact that we were out five grand. “Why didn’t she come?” My voice cracked.

Nick looked at Matt, seeing if he would admit what happened. Matt remained silent. “Matt…”

“Where is she, Matt?” I asked. 

“Look Chris-”

“No tell me the fucking truth! It’s your fault she fucking left in the first place. Where is she?!”

Matt sighed. “I went to her place last night. She left with some sleaze bag. Said she was going camping…” 

“Dude with combat boots, covered in shitty tattoos, smelled like cigarettes?” I asked.

“Yeah.” 

“Danny.” I hissed. He was such a piece of shit. Always trying to get in Y/n’s pants. He was a slimy drug dealer and now she was God knows where with him. 

“She had, uhm…she had track marks on her arms…” Matt said. 

I tried to take a deep breath but I was beyond livid. “Pull over.” I said as calmly as I could. 

“What? Why?” Nick asked.

“Pull the fucking car over!” 

Matt did as I asked and I climbed out, slamming the door behind me before walking off down the street. 

“Chris! Where are you going?!” Matt asked as him and Nick chased after me. I really didn’t want to be near him right now.

“Fuck off, Matt!” 

“You have to fucking talk to me, man!” He said, grabbing my shoulder and forcing me to look at him. I pushed him off of me and Nick was quick to catch him before he fell. 

“This is your fucking fault!” I yelled. “Why the fuck would you say those things to her, Matt? She’s been our best friend our whole lives! This is your fucking fault!”

“I was just looking out for you! It’s not my fault she’s a drug addict, man!”

I threw myself at Matt, punching him in the eye. He fought back but it didn’t last long before Nick was separating us. 

“Stop it! What the hell is the matter with you guys?!” Nick yelled. “Chris, you just got out of jail for fucking assault. Beating up your own brother isn’t going to get you anywhere! And Matt, you were wrong for what you said to Y/n. But we aren’t going to find her if you end up back in jail and don’t work together. So both of you get in the fucking car and let’s go home and figure something out.”

As much as I hated Matt right now, Nick was right. All I really cared about was finding Y/n and I was going to need help doing that. I climbed back into the car silently and endured the ride home. I had tried texting and calling Y/n earlier but it went straight to voicemail. I typed out one more text. 

Y/n, please be okay. I’m so worried about you. Fuck whatever Matt said. You mean everything to me. Please just text me back when you get this so I know you’re okay. I love you…

Tags:@strniohoeee@daisysturniolo.@justangelheree@flowerxbunnie@recklesssturniolo@lustfulslxt@mangosrar@bluesturniolo333@christinarowie332@kenzieiskoolaid@sturniolopepsi@mattenthusiast@ilovecrazymen@sturnphilia@poopydroopt@miaakenn

[ciaomarie]

Part 3: What Then?

This was supposed to be a three part series, but it will probably be 4 or 5 parts. Sydcarmy is a tangled mess of intense care interlaced with anxiety and denial. So they need HELP from their friends and family along the way! Here's a convo with Natalie and Carmen. It takes place just a few days after he found out that he'd made Sydney's best meal ever. Then he inadvertently confessed she's the best part of his day and his heart's dearest wish...j/k, but not really ;)

On a brisk Monday afternoon Carmen rang the bell at Pete and Natalie's home. The doorbell's speaker answered back, with Natalie's hurried voice. "It's open Bear! Just come up to the nursery." He entered their home noting the new family photos hanging on the wall leading up the stairs. They were black and white shots with Pete and Nat walking into the hospital, the next just after Baby Angeline was placed in Natalie's arms, another with Pete and the baby, one shot of her curled bitty toes, and the last was all three of them in the hospital bed. Pete had hired a hospital photographer and as antithetical as that was to anyone with an ounce of Berzatto blood, Natalie let him do it. The result was so unexpectedly tender and beautiful that he paused on the stairs to soak it in. Pete is really a good guy. He was made from an entirely different mold than any man Carmy had grown up around. "Carm?!" Natalie called. "Coming." He turned into the nursery to find Natalie bundling up "Angie" and fastening her into one of those baby slings. Then with one fluid motion before he could speak, she slipped the sling over his shoulders. "Okay, Uncle she's yours!" "So, how does this work?" he asked, looking down at his tiny niece, his eyes as big as beach balls. Angie blinked back at him extremely unbothered.

Natalie rolled her eyes and chortled.

"It's already working. It's fool-proof! Okay, let me get my coat and we'll head out." They strolled down the older suburb's tree-lined streets past others pushing babies, walking dogs, and the occasional Amazon delivery truck. "Carmy, this is really nice and you're welcome to drop by anytime, but what did you want to talk about?" Natalie enquired. He had texted her the other night asking to discuss something important. He kept his eyes on Angie's blissful little face, swallowed, and began. "I'd like to split my share of the restaurant with Syd. She's put in so much work, took several months without pay, and even though I'm the EC she's the main developer of at least half of the menu and the weekly specials. When I was sick recently, she ran the place like a pro. She deserves it. Also, I think if I give her a financial stake she'll stay for at least 5 years. We need that. What do you think?"

Natalie contemplated him for a moment. "Well, part of me agrees and the other part...Carmy, please don't get defensive." "Nat. How can I not when you’ve said that?" "Is this a solely a business decision? Because if it isn't I don't think you need to or should do this to keep her. " Carmy stopped walking, his face falling with frustration and shame. "Have you been talking to Richie?" Natalie stopped and took his arm in hers. "No, I haven't. Look, sorry. What I meant is things are so good between you two." They resumed walking. "Yeah, and that's a problem?" "Not at all. The way you are together...maybe it's the hormones but I've cried sometimes because you are just yourself with her. I've never seen you smile so much with anyone else. Your freakin’ posture is more relaxed when she comes in the room. I could go on, Bear." "You see all that? What about-what about her? Am I any good for her?" he asked in a low, wistful tone. Natalie pulled his arm tighter. She paused, to choose her words carefully. She and Camry were no strangers to family interference in their love lives. "Well, I haven't known Sydney that long, but she tends to spiral, and she pushes through until she's sick or lashes out. Kinda like you do. I noticed that it’s gotten better though. Since we opened, you've been consistently checking in with her, collaborating with her, encouraging her, making her take breaks, and pouring time into her. She's far less doubtful; she believes in herself."

Carm nodded slowly, reflecting on Sydney's growth. "Well, she deserves that. I promised her that she wasn’t alone in this. My focus was not where it should’ve have been during the reno and Friends and Family.”

He exhaled heavily and went on.  

“So, it sounds like she lights up my life and for her, I'm a good boss or even her big brother."

Natalie shook her head, smirking.

" Yeah, you’re a great boss now, but little sisters don't look at their brothers the way Sydney does you. Do you remember when we were all talking in my office and you spilled hot coffee on your shirt? You peeled it off and the poor girl looked at you, as your sister it pains me say this, like she wanted to jump you. When you left to get a clean shirt, she didn't remember what she had been saying." " What!?!? Okay...." Carm scoffed trying and failing to suppress a huge smile. "Also, does she ever leave before 11 instead of sitting in those greasy whites with you every single night for how long? One to two hours!?" She continued. "My point is if you want to divide your share with her because it's good business and fair, and I agree it is, then let me do it too so we're even. Otherwise, I think you’re already three-quarters of the way there with her. She doesn't need to be bought."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. "Natalie, I understand, but I still want to split my share. I think it’s the right thing to do. You don't need split yours though." "First I don't want the largest share of the restaurant and second.... Pete and I may move to be near his parents next year." Natalie bit her lip and glanced at Carmy worry etched in her brow.

"We think it would be good for Angie. You know, to be close to her grandparents and she'd have young cousins nearby too." Carm squeezed her arm, missing her already. "Yeah, I met them at the wedding. They were...Pete’s parents for sure. Angie would have a normal set of grandparents around." Natalie took a deep breath, a gamut of emotions crossing her face. "Choosing Pete was the biggest act of rebellion of my life. I honestly felt repulsed by him at first, until I realized that he was real, and I didn't have to be on guard all the time. Angeline should have that from the start." She bent over to kiss her baby's head which was protected from the cool air by a lilac-colored beanie. "Sydney's a really good choice too. Businesswise and/or otherwise. So, if you're certain about this call Uncle Cicero. This won't change anything with our loan repayment, but his lawyer could help draft a contract. Then we'll ask Sydney if she wants to accept and if she refuses...just give her one of those Sydney-land stares of yours."

Carmy groaned. "You did talk to Richie!"

Natalie erupted into a storm of giggles. Carmen dropped her arm.

"Look, he started it. I told him to chill, but that Sydney-land thing...You have an season pass, bro! It’s very cute though.”

Next time on "What Then?"- Sydney's workversary (work anniversary)

[agent-whiskeys-sweetheart]

Oxytocin (iv)

Pairing: Egon Spengler x F!Reader

Summary:  While looking for a new research assistant Egon finds you, a parapsychologist whose always wanted to be a Ghostbuster. Little did you both know that there would be a lot more than research and ghostbusting that would bring the two of you together.

Warnings: Suspense, injuries (reader), fluff.

When you woke up that morning you had a dreadful headache. You weren’t sure if it was from stress or if perhaps you were having a sympathy hangover. Needless to say, you didn’t feel very well at all. Turning over to pick up the phone, you dial Ray’s number. Something told you that if you were to call Egon he would shower you in apologies and frankly, you just didn’t want to deal with that now.

“Morning Ray. I’m sorry to do this but I’m not feeling good today. I was hoping I might be able to rest and come in tomorrow.” 

“Oh my gosh, of course! Whatever you need.” 

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He affirms the same and you hang up. Now that you don’t have to go into work you honestly feel a million times better. You suppose it might have just been the anxiety of having to face Egon after the previous night’s debacle. 

After what felt like hours of laying in bed you finally decide to get up and make some kind of breakfast. A bowl of cereal sounds like the most appetizing thing so you make one for yourself and sit at the kitchen table. For most of the day you take up residence in front of the TV, watching whatever is on. When a Ghostbusters commercial comes on, you flip the channel. You couldn’t even look at him. 

Just as you were about to lay down, there was a sharp knock at the door. Your brow furrows as you check the peep hole. Oh. My. God. It was Egon. You cursed, taking a breath before opening the door.

“Egon. Hi.” You say. 

“Good afternoon, Y/N. May I come in?” Why the hell not at this point?

“Sure.” You open the door up further, letting the man into the living room. He stands there for a moment, taking in his surroundings.

“This is a lovely apartment.” He compliments. 

“Thank you.” You cross your arms. “Um. Why are you here?” 

“Well, Ray told me that you were sick and I know of a place that makes an excellent chicken noodle soup so I thought I’d bring you some.” Of course. Of course he had to barge into your apartment and act like the sweetest, kindest, and most gentle man ever. You could just beat your fists against his chest with how much love you felt. 

“Oh, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You took the bowl of soup from him, jogging into the kitchen to put it in the fridge. 

“Well, it’s the least I could do.” The air hung heavy with the implications of the night before. Here we go. “Y/N, I’m very sorry about what happened yesterday. When Ray told me you weren’t going to be at work, I was afraid it was because of last night. I know I was terribly out of line. I don’t drink. Ever. It was uncalled for.” 

“Look, Egon. No apology needed.” 

“Now, Y/N--” You stop him. 

“You really don’t need to say sorry. I’m not mad, I promise. In fact, I think in some way I kind of understand why you did it.” 

“You do?” This caused him to seem nervous. 

“Yes, I do. There’s nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling. I just wish you would talk to me about it instead of getting drunk on a Monday night!” The man stood there, lost in thought for a moment. 

“How do you know what I’m feeling?” Was what he managed to say. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way he beat around the bush.

“God, Egon. I mean, you are something else. Really. How do you think I know how you feel?” You waited briefly for a response and when you didn’t get one you continued. “Because I feel the same way about you!” As hard as it was, you were getting closer to the truth.

“How can you know I feel the same?” Now you were frustrated. 

“I don’t! Why do you think I’m ‘sick’ today? Because I couldn’t stand the thought of another day of this! Of you not telling me how you feel, of not just being honest with yourself about the fact that you like me! And maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you don’t feel the same way. If that were the case, well-- Jesus, I don’t know which one is worse. Realizing you don’t care at all or knowing you do and you still not acting on it.” Egon was taken aback by your outburst, unsure of what to say next. So you continued. “Don’t you think it just eats me up inside to know that I could have you, truly have you the way I want, but you’re just out of reach? You’re keeping yourself distanced.” 

“Stop.” He said softly but you couldn’t. Not now. 

“Do I really need to be the one to say it? I like you Egon!” 

“Y/N, stop.” 

“I like you more than I’ve ever liked anybody and I’m tired of hiding it!” 

“Please.” 

“I am in love with Egon Spengler! I--” Before you could finish your statement he was gripping your arms tightly, pulling your body flush against his own, and kissing you. Deeply. Passionately. Exactly how you’d dreamt it. Surely a dream was all this was. However, you could feel every sensation. The warmth of his lips, the strength of his hands, his skin on yours. His breath on your face as he pulled away. You were silent, eyes closed. His voice roused you from your trance. 

“Y/N, don’t you dare think that I don’t love you.” God, that sounded so good coming from him. “I’ve loved you from nearly the first moment I met you. I think about you every second of every day. I think about you when you’re with me, I think about you when you’re gone. That’s terrifying for me. You know that my brain is my biggest asset. To have it consumed with you is difficult for me. I’ve been trying to learn how to deal with that. I’m a genius in many ways but not with this kind of thing. I’ve wanted to blurt it out for weeks now but I just ... can’t. I’m not brave like you. But I do want you too.” 

The two of you stood there in stunned silence, realizing what had just happened. You had both just said it. It was finally out there in the world, the fact that you loved each other. Now there was no taking it back as much as some part of you wanted to. The deed was done. The only thing left was ... what should you two do about it?

“Okay. I love you. You love me. You just kissed me. We’ve done the confession bit. Now what?” You inquire. He looks down at his feet.

“Well, the best course of action would be for us to go on a date.”  

“I agree.” 

“How about Friday at 8pm? I can come pick you up.” 

“That sounds lovely.” 

“Would you like to organize the evening or should I surprise you?”

“Surprise me.” You said with a smile. 

“Alright then. I’ll see you Friday at 8.” 

“Well, actually you’ll see me at work tomorrow. And the next day. And then date time.” You correct him, unsure of what the week would be like in anticipation of your date with Egon Spengler. 

“Right. Of course.” He really wasn’t kidding about not being able to think around you. It endeared your heart to him even more. 

“Well, thank you for stopping by.” 

“Thank you for having me.” With that you escorted him to the door, ready to lie down for a while and think about the afternoon’s events. However, just as you were about to close the door his foot lodged in the threshold, effectively stopping you. With one strong hand he pushed the door open again and took a few steps back inside. 

Then he was kissing you again. Just as passionately as before. One hand found your cheek and the other rested on your hip as he pulled you as close as humanly possible, his lips soft on yours. When he finally pulled away it was like the first time all over again. You were breathless, eyes closed as you lost yourself in the moment. 

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t leave without doing that one more time.” 

“No apology needed.” You echo your earlier statement. He gives you one last longing look while carressing your cheek and then he’s out the door. You close it behind him, pressing your back up against it as you contemplated everything that had just occurred. You finally knew his real feelings. He had told them to you. He had said it right to your face and you had acted like he said those kinds of things every day. God, you felt like an idiot. It was the best moment of your life and you hadn’t even handled that correctly. You would have to make a better impression on your date. However, he did say that he liked you. He hadn’t given any stipulations, he just said that he liked you. Exactly for who you are. That was the shining beacon of hope that you clung to as you climbed into bed, falling asleep fairly quickly.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Much to your surprise, it was Friday before you knew it. You had been looking forward to it all week but you couldn’t admit that to Egon. Instead you simply went about business as usual. It wasn’t completely the same though. You noticed that he moved a bit closer to you as you worked together. He would do everything in his power to make contact with you as the two of you worked. It was very endearing to you, finding his efforts quite sweet. 

Electricity hung in the air as you both continued your experimentation on Friday. It was all you could do not to jump out of your skin. You wanted to kiss him again and again and again. What you really wanted was to push him back on the work table to see what he could really do. He had been a tease all week with his tantalizing touches, you were yearning for more. However, after the events of Monday night you weren’t even sure if Egon’s mind was in that place anymore. And now that you had confessed your feelings for one another, would he want your first time together to be for the sake of an experiment? You knew you wanted it to mean more than that and you were sure now that he did too. Who knew. Maybe the two of you would never be intimate. All you knew was his touches were driving you up the wall. It was impossible to focus on work. 

He noticed this but didn’t say anything, simply assuming that you were nervous about the evening’s upcoming date. And you were to an extent. However, at the same time, it was Egon. You had known him for several months by this point and now that you two knew you were in love, what was stopping you from simply enjoying your first date together? Nothing. You were free to be as happy as you wanted. 

The day was a blur and before you knew it Egon was saying goodbye to you. Of course you both knew that he would be seeing you again in a few hours but that wasn’t any big deal. Not anymore. The hard part was over. Now, it was on to the fun stuff. You went home and changed into the nicest dress you had after taking a shower. You felt clean and confident, taking a seat on your couch as you anxiously awaited Egon’s knock. When it finally came you were bolting for the door, taking a deep breath before you opened it for him. Upon seeing him in all his glory, dressed up in a tux, you were speechless. He looked so breathtaking it took everything in you to speak. 

“You look ... God, you look good.” You said. When you looked in his eyes you realized that he was having a very similar reaction upon seeing your outfit. You blushed at the sight of his enchantment. 

“Y/N.” As he said this he took a step into the threshold, taking a soft grip of your waist to pull you closer. “You are the most stunning woman I have ever laid eyes on.” Before you could take time to respond his lips were greeting yours happily. Your eyes fluttered closed as you took him in. When you both pulled away you each had a deep red blush blooming in your cheeks. “Should we go?” 

“Yes.” He led you outside to where the Ecto-1 was parked. You giggled at seeing the vehicle. You were being escorted to your dream date in the most attention drawing car you’d ever been in. It was perfect. He opened your door before sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“The boys let me borrow the car just for the occasion.” He added with a grin. There was that dry witty humor that you loved so much. As the two of you rode in the direction of wherever Egon was taking you his hand found your knee, resting there gently. You glanced down at it every now and again, scared that it would disappear. However, it didn’t. This wasn’t a dream. This was real life. And it was all yours. 

Whenever you pulled up outside you saw that the two of you were at one of the nicest restaurants in town. He walked around to your door and helped you out before you could open it for yourself. Once you were outside the vehicle you went to make your way up the steps that led into the restaurant. As you did so, the toe of your heel got caught on a step and you stumbled, nearly falling over. This did not escape anyone’s attention and you wanted to scream. However, the man beside you didn’t make you feel embarrassed at all. He simply extended his arm to you with a smile. You took it as his opposite hand came to rest on top of yours. “Sorry. I don’t wear heels very often.”

“That’s okay. Neither do I.” The two of you laughed alongside each other as he passed off the keys to the valet. Once inside, the waiter escorted you to a table by a window giving you a perfect view of the city at night. “This place is so beautiful Egon. Thank you.” 

“Of course. You deserve nothing less.” Such a gentleman.

“It’s so odd being here with you. I don’t hardly know what to say.” 

“Why don’t you just tell me about you? I want to know every facet of you and your personality.” Just as you go to open your mouth, he holds up a finger to stop you. “Just make sure you tell me very slowly so that it takes a very long time.” He smirks, causing you to blush. You swallow, not sure how to continue after his blatant flirting. After a minute of dancing around your own words, you both find a comfortable pace of conversation. Once you’re over that initial slump, it’s so easy to talk to him. It’s like you’ve known him your entire life. The two of you exchange anecdotes and stories, getting lost in one another’s company. You’re so lost in each other that you almost miss the waiter coming up to your table to take your orders.

“I’ll have the--” You start but Egon politely cuts you off. 

“Could I actually order for you? I have something in mind I think you’ll really enjoy.” You smile, unable to hide how cute you find the gesture. 

“Of course. I did say to surprise me.” The waiter leans over Egon’s shoulder as he points out what he’d like to order. With that, the waiter disappears back into the kitchen, leaving the two of you to continue your delightful conversation. It went on like that for a while until the waiter came out with your food. When he came back out you saw that Egon had ordered you an assortment of Chinese entrees. You smiled. It was a reference to your first lunch together. That first awkward, terrible lunch. What a change from then to now. 

“I knew this place had a Chinese platter that I thought you’d like.” 

“I do. I like it a lot. Thank you.” You both smile up at each other before digging in, not worrying about seeming polite. At this point, you both know that you’re comfortable in front of each other so you felt no need to put on airs about the way that you both eat. 

The meal is heavenly. The two of you continue to talk as you pick through what’s left, commenting on how much you both enjoyed it. “I would order us some wine but I feel like maybe I shouldn’t.” Egon laughed, referencing his little drunken outburst earlier that week. You couldn’t help but laugh as well, remembering what a disaster that night had been. Just as you were about to tease him about it, the waiter came up to your table again beckoning your attention.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Mr. Spengler, but you have a call at the front desk.” The two of you exchanged a wary glance. 

“Of course.” He sets his napkin down beside him before getting up and following the waiter to the front of the restaurant. 

You sat there patiently, finishing the rest of your food as you waited for Egon to get back. The minutes seemed to tick past endlessly. As you sat there you couldn’t help but feel the pitiful gazes of the other customers. Another waiter even came up to ask if you were alright. You affirmed that you were, feeling embarrassed at the attention. Eventually he came back to the table however he didn’t look happy. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. That was Ray. There’s something urgent that needs my attention. The guys are out on a call but Janine just got another emergent request. I have to go take care of this. We’ll have to cut the date short.” He extends a hand to help you up. You take it. 

“Of course, Egon. Whatever you need.” The two of you walk out of the restaurant arm in arm, jogging down the steps to where the Ecto-1 was waiting for you. He was about to open your door for you when he seemed to get a sudden realization. You watched the wheels turn in his head for a minute and then he turned to you excitedly. 

“Would you accompany me on this job?” As soon as the words came out of his mouth you could swear you heard a chorus of angels in your head. He was really asking you to go ghost busting with him. This was a dream end to your date which was already perfect. 

“Yes, Egon! Yes. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’d love to.” Seeing your happiness made him blush and he helped you into the vehicle. You were practically vibrating in your seat as Egon slid into the driver’s seat, looking over at you excitedly. Both of you were beaming. As he drove off, turning on the sirens overhead, his hand returned to your knee. Your mind buzzed as you sped down the Manhattan streets in the direction of your first real job with the Ghostbusters. 

When you arrived, you were outside of a hotel. It was one you’d never seen before. It was several stories tall and it looked old and nearly abandoned. Looking up at the building, you almost didn’t notice that Egon was opening your door to help you out again. When you stepped out of the car, you both headed around to the back where the proton packs were stored. They almost always had them in the Ecto-1 in case they should need them. Tonight was a perfect example of that fact. He pulled out the first pack and turned towards you. 

“Alright. I’m sure you’re familiar with our equipment.” 

“Yes. Very familiar.” 

“Then this should be no problem. Let me help you into it.” With that, you spun around so that your back was facing him. When you turned around he noticed a particular feature of your dress that he hadn’t caught onto before. The entire back was open, exposing your skin to him. You waited for him to strap you into the pack however before he could you felt his fingertips graze over your skin, making a trail up and down your bare back. The sensation made you shiver. You turned around slowly to look at him. When he saw that you were looking at him he began to blush. “Sorry.” He mumbled before hoisting the pack up onto your back. It was lighter than you expected. As soon as you were successfully strapped in you took a hold of the particle thrower, pulling it from the rest of the pack. It was like you’d been handling one of these your whole life. Egon was silently impressed as he watched you navigate your way around the equipment. 

When you turned back around, Egon had also strapped into one of the proton packs. With both of you well equipped you headed up the steps into the building. As soon as you made your way into the lobby you were greeted by the hotel manager. He almost did a double take upon seeing you both in your nice attire. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m sorry to have interrupted your plans but this couldn’t wait. There’s ... something ... on the top floor that is terrorizing our guests. I need help. Please, do something!” 

“Of course. That’s why we’re here. Do you know what kind of a ghost you have on your hands?” Egon asked the manager. 

“If I knew what kind of ghost I had I wouldn’t be calling you!” 

“Well, we’ll take care of it.” The two of you jog over to the elevator, pressing the up button. Luckily it was late enough that the lobby was fairly clear. When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, you both stepped inside and pressed the button for the top floor. As soon as you were situated Egon began to walk you through how to work the proton pack. You listened intently, finding all of the various parts and figuring out how it all worked. By the time you arrived on the top floor you knew exactly what to do. You both stepped out of the elevator. All seemed fairly quiet. No guests were wandering about. It was just silent. “Alright, keep an eye out. We don’t know what we’re dealing with here yet so be prepared for anything, okay?” 

You nodded as the two of you began to creep down the hall, keeping your eyes peeled as you looked down each and every corridor. Just as you were about to the end of the floor that’s when you saw it. It looked like a woman but it had no legs. It was a deep pinkish purple, levitating near the wall. It wasn’t facing either of you, turned towards a vase of flowers. Your eyes became wide as you realized what you were looking at. It was really a ghost, before your very eyes. You had studied them religiously yet you had never seen one in person before. This date just got better and better, you thought to yourself. 

“That’s a Class 5 full torso apparition. Be careful. These things can be awfully destructive.” Egon whispers. You nod, unable to speak. 

The two of you take a step closer, trying not to alert the entity to your presence. It’s all you can do not to jump out of your skin from excitement. With particle thrower in hand and the pack already powered up, all you had to do was aim and shoot. However, some part of you didn’t want to. Some part of you wanted to keep observing. You wished you had your notepad so you could be taking notes of its behavior. That was just the research assistant in you. 

You awaited Egon’s signal, knowing that he would tell you when it was time to throw the stream. His hand hovered in the air, waiting for the right moment. You were almost close enough to touch her and yet Egon still hadn’t given the go ahead. Before he could she floated in a circle, turning to face the two of you. You both stopped in your tracks, terrified beyond belief at suddenly drawing her attention. However, she did nothing. Simply floated there, looking at you. Right at that moment, Egon gave you the signal you had been waiting for. The two of you threw your streams in her direction. However, as soon as the packs kicked into gear she disappeared. The streams ran along the wall, leaving a streak of fire and ash in their wake. 

“I’m so sorry!” You told him instinctively, feeling bad about the damage you had just caused. You were sure that their bills were through the roof from how much destruction they caused on the job. 

“It’s okay. Occupational hazard. Don’t worry about it.” He assured. 

You both ran back down the hall you had come down as Egon pulled out the PKE meter, trying to find where she had gone. In the middle of the floor was a large open lobby. There were four large columns on all corners of the open space. The middle had a piano and a few furniture pieces. In the middle of that lobby you found her floating, close to the piano. Egon’s hand went up again however, he didn’t wait nearly as long to give the signal this time. He gave you the go and you turned on your particle thrower, a stream of light coming from one end in the direction of the ghost. This time you actually made contact with her, your stream tangling around her form as if it was a net. Egon began fumbling for the trap as you held her there. 

“That’s excellent! Keep holding her!” Egon yelled out over the sound of the stream. However, what you hadn’t anticipated was how hard it would be to keep her still. She was powerful, much stronger than you thought she would be. Just as Egon was sliding the trap onto the floor she overtook you and snapped the stream away from her. The both of you exchanged a worried glance as you struggled to aim at her again, thrown off guard by her strength. When you glanced back up at her, she was charging in your direction. Thinking fast, you ducked, watching her fly over head. However, what you didn’t realize was that she had run head first into the column behind you. 

You stood to your full height, happy that you had avoided her. That’s when you heard Egon’s voice. “Y/N! Watch out!” Then you heard the crumbling sound from behind you. You turned just in time to see the column fall apart and collapse directly towards you. You sprinted for the other side of the lobby but you weren’t fast enough. A large chunk of rubble came crashing down on top of your calf, instantly shattering the bone. You let out a piercing cry and fell to the floor. Everything around you started to become blurry as you fought against the giant piece of column. Just as the edges of your vision became dark you saw Egon’s terrified face. Then you were gone.

Tags: @localsimpmigraine​ @theespookybitch​ @twinkie-buttercream​ @fizzyfazzy420​ @boneless07​ @holewithinahole​ @spengler-in-a-jar​ @the-hidden-pages​ @the-mechanical-angel​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @egonscalculator​ @sporesmoldsfungus​ @tedesquire​ @killerheelsonadiscodancefloor​ @emeraldborealis​ @bisexual-thoughtss​ @notquitecanon​ @finniestoncrane​ @lonelyridesinecto-one​ ​​@tinyvesselhearts    

[thornybubbles]

The Cat Came Back

NOTE: This is just a blurb based on an idea that’s been bouncing around in my head for a while. I was debating on whether or not to share this because I don’t really plan on expanding on it. It’s not a yandere story, but I could definitely put it in the “horror scenario” category. 

---------

It didn’t take Josuke long to get to your house after you called him. You woke him up in the middle of an after school nap and told him to come over to your house. You didn’t explain anything and just said that it was urgent. He was already worried about you because you hadn’t been to school for two days, but hearing the dread in your voice had him panicking. Whatever was wrong with you was something serious and he could only hope that it was something that Crazy Diamond could fix. If not, then he would do whatever he needed to to help you. You were one of his dearest friends after all. 

It was only a year ago since the incident with Kira and all the stuff that happened before that. He had never wanted you to be dragged into the madness of Stands and Stand users, but you got involved anyway when Kira targeted you specifically during that final battle. Josuke had no idea what you were doing there. You weren’t a Stand user and you would have no way to defend yourself when things inevitably got crazy. You were supposed to be at home and away from all that mess, but you said that you heard the explosions and got worried. Leave it to you to be the only one that would run towards the sound of explosions instead of away from them (you dummy!). Unfortunately, in your haste to check on what was happening to your friends, you ran right into Yoshikage Kira. 

Kira recognized you instantly as one of Josuke’s friends and planned on using you as a hostage until he was able to flee the scene after the tides of battle had turned against him. There was no doubt that once he managed to escape them, he would kill you, a fact that he gleefully reminded Josuke of during the final showdown. If it hadn’t been for Jotaro and Star Platinum’s ability to stop time… well… it’s not something Josuke wanted to think about. 

Josuke finally reached your front door and rang the bell. Mere seconds after, the door opened and you stood there looking up at him with a haggard, haunted expression. He was shocked at your appearance. It looked like you hadn’t slept in days. One look at you had him asking what seemed like a thousand questions at once. 

“Oh my God! Are you okay? Are you sick? Is that why you weren’t at school? Why didn’t you call someone? You could’ve gotten Koichi or Yukako to take notes for you, you know? Where are your parents? Are you here by yourself? Who’s taking care of you?” 

You only answered one of his questions. 

“My folks are out of town visiting relatives.” you said, voice shaky with fatigue and anxiety. “Get in here. We gotta talk about something serious.” 

Before he could say anything else, you grabbed him by the collar of his uniform jacket and dragged him inside. You had him sit on the sofa in the living room. He waited there, impatient and anxious, as you nervously paced the room in front of him. After another minute of watching you imitate a caged big cat, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Come on, don’t leave me hanging like this!” he said, voice cracking as he tried to swallow down his building dread. “Just tell me what’s wrong!” 

You looked at him, eyes both tired and manic at the same time. 

“I’m going to!” you snapped, emotions flaring. “I just… I’m just not sure how to even begin to explain this…” 

You sighed deeply, trying to calm yourself enough to say what you needed to. 

“I-I’ll just start this off by saying that… well… I… I don’t even know how this is possible now, but…It happened after school on Monday. I got home and…” 

You took another deep breath and massaged your temples. Your head was pounding and you hadn’t bothered to take anything for it yet. 

“Look. I don’t really know how to soften the blow with this, so I’m just gonna come out and say it… I have a Stand now.” you said. 

Josuke’s eyes widened and he sat looking at you in shock. There were so many thoughts going through his head at that moment. Having a Stand was a double edged sword. On one hand (depending on what kind of Stand you had) you would be able to defend yourself better as a Stand user than a normal person. On the other hand, it would mean that you would be forever destined to run into other Stand users, not all of which would be friendly. This revelation also filled Josuke’s head with even more questions. How had you obtained your Stand? Was there another arrow for them to worry about? Or did you get your Stand without an arrow? If so, why hadn’t you suffered with the near deadly fever that usually accompanied developing a Stand? Most people who were born Stand users either developed them at birth or at least at a very young age. That’s not to say that a user couldn’t develop their Stand at a later age, but…. 

Josuke opened his mouth, preparing to bombard you with all the questions swimming around in his head, but you held up a hand to silence him. 

“Wait, before you say anything, let me just say that it isn’t what you think. My Stand, well, it isn’t… it isn’t actually mine…” 

Josuke gave you a confused look. 

“W-what? What do you mean by that? How can you have a Stand that isn’t yours?” he asked, unable to hold back his questions any longer. 

You let out a cry of frustration. “I don’t know, Josuke!” you shouted. “I don’t have a damned clue, okay?!” 

Josuke jumped and shied away from you at your harsh tone. Seeing his reaction you closed your eyes trying, once again, to get your emotions under control. 

“Sorry.” you said with a shaky sigh. “Sorry I snapped. This is just… it makes no sense, okay? It really, really makes no sense and I just don’t know how to deal with what’s happening. I always was a little envious of you, Okuyasu, Koichi, and the others because I was the only one that didn’t have a Stand. I thought it would be cool to have one, you know? But… in this case I think I’d rather go back to not having one.” 

A few minutes of silence passed between you. Josuke fidgeted on the couch in anticipation of whatever else you would have to say. He was torn between asking you things or waiting for you to start talking again. 

“I guess the only way you’ll understand what I mean by the Stand not being mine is to show it to you.” you said finally. 

Another moment or two of uncomfortable silence. 

“Okay… Josuke, I’m going to show you my Stand now, but you have to remain calm, okay? Don’t freak out!” 

You took a step back from him and stared at the floor for a moment. Josuke watched you both curious and anxious over what your Stand would be. 

You didn’t summon your Stand in the usual way. You didn’t call it by name, so Josuke assumed you hadn’t given it a name yet. But once the Stand came into view Josuke understood why you didn’t call it by name. You were right when you said that the Stand wasn’t yours. It belonged to someone else… someone who was supposed to be dead. This Stand already had a name and it was a name you probably didn’t want to say aloud, not after what the user put you through. 

Josuke knew the Stand because he’d actually fought the user, but you knew the Stand by accident. You’d bumped into Rohan while he was at the cafe one afternoon and spotted some of his sketches on the table. They were all sketches of Stands and you were fascinated. Though he pretended to be annoyed in the usual Rohan fashion, he’d been all too happy to show you the sketches and explain everything he knew about Stands and Stand users. You browsed the sketches he’d made of the various Stands and their corresponding users: Josuke’s Crazy Diamond, Okuyasu’s The Hand, Koichi’s Echoes, Jotaro’s Star Platinum, and so on. Being a non-Stand user, this was the only way that you would ever know what everyone’s Stands looked like. 

There was one sketch, however, that Rohan seemed determined to keep you from seeing. He snatched the stack of sketches from you just as you got the final sketch, almost giving you a paper cut in the process. He mumbled something about needing to head home to get back to work, but it was already too late. As he was yanking the stack of sketches out of your hand, you got a glimpse of the final sketch. On the paper was the image of a figure you would never forget as long as you lived. Next to the user was the image of a Stand that would now also be burned into your memory along with its name that was scrawled on the space next to it: 

Killer Queen. 

This was the Stand that you summoned; a Stand that belonged to a dead serial killer. 

It took every ounce of Josuke’s impulse control to keep him from jumping up from the couch, summoning Crazy Diamond, and pummeling Killer Queen back into non-existence. But he knew that if he did that, it would hurt you, too. He could tell by the way Killer Queen hovered behind you, staring at him intensely, that it was waiting for you to give it the mental order to attack. You didn’t though. You were nothing like its previous owner and Josuke was not your opponent. But he could tell by the way the Stand stared directly into his eyes in a challenging manner that the damned thing not only recognized him, but still viewed him as an enemy. You shifted uncomfortably where you stood and Killer Queen mimicked the motion, taking on a different battle pose that somewhat imitated your new position. Oh yes, it was obvious that Killer Queen was your Stand now and anything Crazy Diamond did to it would affect you, too. As if it could sense what Josuke was thinking, the corners of Killer Queen’s mouth turned up slightly. It was mocking him. The wicked thing was actually mocking him!

This couldn’t be possible. It shouldn’t be possible! Reimi told them that both Yoshikage Kira and his Stand had been torn apart by the ghostly mass of arms that haunted the hidden alley beside the grocery store. It made no logical sense for Killer Queen to still exist after both it and its user had been ripped to pieces. It made even less sense for it to be attached to you now. How could someone gain control of a dead person’s Stand? Just how was such a thing possible? 

You felt your whole body quiver with disgust as the unwanted Stand pulled itself from your soul and manifested behind you. You stared at Josuke, watching his reaction. You pointedly refused to even glance at the Stand, afraid that you would retch if you so much as laid eyes on it. The shocked and horrified look on Josuke’s face did nothing to soothe you though. A single glance at the look on your friend’s face had your eyes filling with tears. You knew he wasn’t looking at you like that, but you still felt judged. Just having Kira’s Stand attached to you made you feel as if you had somehow become responsible for all the lives he’d taken. It was as if his sins had been passed on to you and it made you feel repulsed by your own existence. 

Sensing your distress, Killer Queen pulled its attention from Josuke to glance down at you. Wanting to comfort its new user, it knelt down and nudged your face with its forehead in a sick parody of a housecat demanding attention. At the sensation of it touching you, you jumped away, staring up at the Stand in terror. Your stomach churned at the sight of it and you actively had to fight against your gag reflex. Killer Queen cocked its head to the side, confused by your rejection. It reached for you and you threw your hands up in front of you as if to place a barrier between you and your own Stand. 

“Stop!” you shouted. “Don’t touch me!” 

Killer Queen did as it was told but stared at you strangely as if you were behaving unreasonably. 

“Go back!” you commanded. 

Killer Queen tilted its head to the other side, ears going back slightly. It made no move to obey. 

“Go back, Killer Queen!” you commanded again, hating how easily the Stand’s name rolled off your tongue. 

This time the Stand obeyed, but not before turning back to Josuke and staring him down once more before vanishing. 

Josuke glared right back at it until it was no longer in view. 

You could feel it when Killer Queen’s presence rejoined your soul and the sensation caused your knees to buckle. You sank to the floor and started bawling, unable to hold your emotions back anymore. Josuke was by your side in seconds, wrapping his arms around you and doing his best to calm you. You pressed yourself into his hold, soaking his uniform with tears and shaking. 

“Josuke!” you cried. “Please, please, please help me! I don’t know what to do! I don’t understand what’s happening to me! Please help me!” 

You were in utter hysterics and Josuke didn’t know what else to do but hold you and rock you like an infant until your screaming and sobbing quieted. Eventually you tired yourself out enough that you could think somewhat rationally again. 

“I-I don’t want the others to know about this,” you said with a sniff. “Not yet at least. I’m afraid of how they’ll react.” 

“Okay, but I think it’s best that we get in touch with Jotaro.” he told you. “He’s got experience when it comes to Stands and stuff like that, so he may have seen something like this before. He’s got ties to the Speedwagon Foundation and whatever he can’t help us with, I’m sure they can.” 

You went limp in his hold, finally feeling a tiny amount of relief after days of worry and dread. You allowed yourself to relax completely as he held you. 

“Thank you, Josuke,” you said in an exhausted tone. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

He lifted your head to look you in your watery eyes. 

“Hey, you know I’ve always got your back.” he said with a small smile. “You’re going to get through this, okay? You aren’t alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

--------------

NOTE 2: Well that ended on an uplifting note which is unusual for me. I just want to take the time to explain where this crazy idea came from. So, I’ve been slowly “JoJo-fying” my Terraria game and I found a mod called “JoJo Stands” which allows you to have Stands in the game while also filling the world with various JoJo references (of course!). With the mod, there are two ways to get Stands. The most common way is to wait for Jotaro (part 4 version) to show up in your game and get a Stand arrow shard from him. You talk to him and choose the option “Stand Help” and he’ll say something about how you “Seem to be reliable” and give you an arrow shard. If you use the arrow shard your character will take a slight amount of damage but get a buff letting you know that you’re under the influence of the arrow. You then just have to wait a few in-game minutes and a random Stand will appear into your inventory. I do have to mention that when you use the arrow shard there is the rare chance that it won’t give you a Stand and instead kill you instantly with a message that the arrow “found you unworthy”, after which you’ll have to go back to Jotaro, get another shard, and start the process over. 

The other way to get a Stand is to simply be “born” with one, meaning that a random Stand can be assigned to you from the moment your character spawns into the game world. It’s rare to get a Stand this way, however. On my first playthrough of the game after downloading the mod, I was lucky enough to be “born” with a Stand. I was really excited but when I checked my inventory to see which Stand I got, my excitement turned into a deep distress. The first Stand I ever got in the mod was, you guessed it, KILLER FREAKIN’ QUEEN! I didn’t know what Stand I would get, but I was not expecting him! 

I got over my initial anxiety at having such a destructive Stand after I used him in the fight with the Desert Scourge (giant worm boss from the Calamity Mod) and Killer Queen blew it to pieces before it was able to do any damage to me at all. That’s not to say that the Stand was overpowered or anything, as later boss fights proved to be a bit more of a challenge, but having him in boss fights was certainly a boon. 

In spite of how helpful he was as a Stand, I came to realize that I’m not a very responsible Stand user and frankly have no business having a Stand that dangerous. For example, there was the time that I went to pet my cat while I had Killer Queen active and I forgot to set him for Auto instead of Manual. So I ended up petting the cat with Killer Queen instead of my character. Anybody remember what happens when Killer Queen touches things while in attack mode? Yeah, I turned my damn cat into a bomb and detonated it seconds later. Fortunately, my cat didn’t die. It was injured but it fully healed after a few minutes. My sister joked that Killer Queen was jealous and wanted to be the only cat in the house. Very funny. 

Then there was the time I nearly blew myself up. I had just upgraded Killer Queen to the level that I could summon Sheer Heart Attack. For some dumb reason, I thought it was an excellent idea to test SHA’s abilities while standing inside of my house instead of taking it outside somewhere. My stupidity resulted in me nearly destroying my whole room. The explosion took out the whole background wall, some of my furniture, and parts of the floor and ceiling. It also took out over half of my health. It left me with only two hearts and a giant mess to clean up. My sister heard the explosion and came running to see what happened. I explained what I’d done and she told me that I needed to have my Stand License revoked. Very funny. 

At some point I started speculating on the idea of a person developing a Stand only to find out that the Stand not only used to belong to someone else, but it used to belong to a really evil villain. So that’s where the idea for this little blurb came from. Like I said before, I don’t really plan on adding anything more to this as I haven’t planned anything beyond this initial premise. So consider this a one shot. Keep an eye out for more stuff in the near future! 

[six-eyed-samurai]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This relationship should not be condoned and was only written for entertainment purposes. Dark content like kidnapping and stalking is in here, so don't read if it makes you uncomfortable.

Because she'll always, always have your back at anytime and anywhere!

You never thought twice about what an amazing friend she was. She was always there when you needed her most. Always there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. Always keeping an eye on you wherever you went, wherever you were, wherever you had to be!

Sliding in the background and hiding amongst your friend group most of the time at school but she was always, always there to assist and help and provide and…whether you needed it or not, now that you think of it.

But oh well! She was such an awesome friend, always there with assistance should the need arise. Need a spare pen? Wow, she’s got extra. You forgot to do your homework? Sure, she’s got you covered. Damn, you’re too busy for lunch? Don’t worry, she brought seconds!

You never had to fret over project partners, because of course she and you were going to partner up! You got lost and have no idea where to go? Why worry when she’ll suddenly turn up with directions? You lost something amongst the crowded halls of school? Haha, funny enough, she’s found it for you.

Although it was starting to get a little unnerving at how she was always…just there. No one knew you were going to be sick that Monday but somehow she appeared on your doorstep with soup and a weird, smiling “get better soon”. You had only ever confessed to your trusty journal that you wanted out of the swimming competition and the next thing you knew she was telling you she managed to get the teacher to allow you to opt out. You were just about to call your dad to pick you up from the study session and realized your phone was dead when she appeared like always with that worried expression and the proclamations of “oh, no worries, I can help!”.

Aw, but it would be rude to think such appalling things about such an affectionate friend who’s always got your back! You felt awful for even thinking about it, but the apprehensive anxiety that started to attack you every time she approached wasn’t disappearing anytime soon and conversations had never became more awkward as you desperately tried to avoid her and her alarming insistence.

The last straw arrived in the form of an argument that exploded out when you refused her offer to walk you back home when your dad was late and couldn’t make it in the pouring rain.

“I promised to always look out for you, didn’t I?!”

“I told you, enough! I can walk home myself or call my friend-”

“Friend?” Her tone melted into something sickly, sourly sweet. “Who are they? Wasn't it always me, huh, who helped you every single time? Who else did the things I did for you all the time?”

You thought you hadn't liked where this was going…but you definitely hated what was happening now.

Idiot, idiot! How did you - any of you - never notice how strong she really was in physical education? How, how, how! You never wanted to find out this way, not with her fingers nearly popping veins in you with how tight, oh so tight her grip on your neck was as she lifted you up like a limp rag doll.

“Who told you about the cameras? Who told you I was following - ah, making sure you were safe - around? You weren't supposed to know about it all…did you find out about the stack of your things I have? Is this why you've been behaving like such a brat to me lately? I promise, it was always all just to make sure you could rely on me for everything, I swear!”

Because that's all you ever were to her, you realised. A helpless little doll who relied on her for everything, silly little doll dancing to her raging child's strings, foolish little doll to never, ever be shared with anyone else!

“I'm bloody tired of you and your ungratefulness! I did everything for you, for us! I gave everything you would ever want or need! Don't you love me, you useless sweet baby? Who killed them for you, huh? Whatcha gonna do without me, huh? Silly, pretty sod, you rely on me for everything! I promised that, didn't I? I always, always keep my promises!”

If there was one thing good about her it was that she was, indeed, true to her word…never mind, you wished she didn't, then death would come to steal you away like she had - you would welcome it though! Anything would be better than the promises she kept that prevented you from wasting away in that attic of hers. Swearing to have your back; just stop, stop acting like if she got you all your favourite things and provided your needs it would be fine! Oaths you prayed she wouldn't insist on of you accepting her abominable affections and acclaims of her crazed attraction and adoration.

She always, always had your back, in school and even in your captivity.

“Trust, darling! You'll see, you'll see, I'll make you see! I'm all, ALL, you could ever, ever need! Always!”

YANDERE ALPHABET MASTERLIST

[joels-darlin]

Monday Morning - The Rescue

Chapter 1 can be found here - Ch 1: Monday Moring - The Situation

Pairings: Javier Peña x f!reader

Warnings: 18+ only. kidnapping/hostage situation, violence, angst, hurt, allusions to rape, mentions of weapons, restraints/being tied up, mentions of blood and injuries. (I think that's all sorry if I missed any)

Summary: A standard Monday morning commute to the DEA office takes a harrowing turn of events. Now Javi and Steve are here to rescue you.

Word count: 2469

Author Note: Apologies this took so long to get out but have been hit with huge writers block recently and finally got through it!! I am debating (being a strong word here) wrapping this all up with a Chapter 3, so if you want it please let me know! Any feedback is appreciated, thanks all ♥️

Special thankyou to @ladybess-a03 for your help/support on this and providing your amazing Beta reading services which I am forever grateful for ♥️ AO3 Link

Javier was losing his mind, anxiety bubbling in his chest an unusual feeling for him. Taking another glance around, his eyes landed on the clock that hung on the yellowing walls of the office.10:43am, and you still hadn’t stepped through those heavy brown doors. He knew you liked to be in earlier than the rest, taking the first couple of hours of peace to catch up with any leftover paperwork and enjoy the coffee you grabbed from near the markets on your short commute in.

His fingers drummed against the solid oak desk, shifting to grab another file from the growing pile of paperwork next to him. Having only drained his coffee cup a mere five minutes ago, file still in his hand closed, Javi pondered for a second thoughts of you filling his mind. 

“Fuck this!” he thought shoving the chair back with force and standing to his feet. Snatching the cup from the desk he stalked to the kitchen; he needed a distraction, and fast.

In the kitchen was where he ran into Steve who seemed to have a similar need for a caffeine fix. Javi made himself busy washing and drying his cup before leaving it next to the coffee machine, signaling he was next in the queue.

“You heard from her?” Steve spoke first, breaking the unusual silence between the pair.

“Nothing, she must be on holiday or sick?”

“I spoke to the front desk earlier, but no phone calls or requests have come in,” Steve responded in a flat tone.

As far as they were concerned this was unusual behavior, and something felt really wrong. You had never missed a day's work, always opting to call in at the earliest convenience if you were sick or unable to come in. After Steve left, Javi busied himself again now that the coffee machine was free, retreating back to his desk shortly after. A sigh left his lips on approach as he spotted the paperwork pile which he swore had increased since he had stepped away.

The day dragged on like any other; go through the never-ending paperwork, look at leads on Escobar, review new (but also useless) intelligence. It was the conversation between some other colleagues that caught his attention on his seventh visit to the kitchen for a refill.

“Did you hear about the trouble this morning? At the markets, I heard some young woman was bundled into the back of a car. They must be in trouble with Escobar and his cronies” he overheard. 

Javi’s ears pricked up at this, craning his neck towards the conversation happening in the other room. Paper thin walls meant no secrets were safe in this office. His mind suddenly went into overdrive. The markets? Wasn’t that near where you usually frequented for your coffee? Shoving his cup in the sink, not even bothering to clean it this time, he rushed back to his desk.

“Steve…can we talk…in private?” he asked. He leant over the desks, getting as close to his partner as possible trying to avoid causing any commotion. Moving his head to gesture at the storage cupboard across the other side of the room. Steve nodded, rising from his desk before following, closing the door behind.

”This better be good, I have a pile of paperwork to-” he began. 

“I was just in the kitchen…overheard a conversation about someone getting kidnapped by possibly Escobar’s men near the markets early this morning…you think it could be her?”. It had been radio silence all day, still not hearing anything from you, definitely a cause for concern.

“Wow, you really like her don’t you?” his partner chuckled. Steve knew Javi had a slight infatuation for his female partner but didn’t think it ran this deep. It was obvious sometimes though, the extra glances across the office towards your desk whilst working or the way his partners eyes lit up upon you entering the room.

“Steve…not now…seriously…could it be her?”

“What makes you think it could be? These things happen on the streets pretty much every day!”. Javi sighed, lifting his hand to card his fingers through his hair. 

“I don’t know, I just have a bad feeling and it won’t go away…”. 

What Steve failed to mention was also the sinking feeling in his stomach that had been churning around for most of the day; in his eyes you were a friend and even he was starting to get concerned. 

“I guess it won’t hurt to go ask around” he said. 

~~~

Absolutely useless, the pair might as well have stayed in the office, having not gotten a single lead on your whereabouts. With the endless shaking of heads and “No’s” they were met with, the frustration was grating. Not a single person had recognised your face in the picture they were showing around, but there had to be someone here. 

From the corner of his eye, Javi spotted it; the coffee cart. Still manned, an old looking bloke who must have been late sixties maybe. In all of ten minutes the man in question had identified you, and even made note of the number plate of the vehicle he saw you being carted into; it was like some sort of miracle. Javi and Steve left not long after, graciously thanking the man for his information, even grabbing a quick coffee whilst there as a token gesture. 

He might have just saved your life.

~~~

It took less than an hour for them to find the location once back at the office. A small group of the team pulled off their current assignments, their new focus now being tracking the whereabouts of the black SUV they now knew you had been taken in. It wasn’t long before they got a hit. The vehicle was last spotted in a location known to Escobar - owning establishments up and down the country.

As soon as the approval was given they were out of the office and into the car, the location being a disused house just a few miles from the market. It was a huge risk just two of them versus however many of Escobar’s men were guarding you. But Javi had to get you out if it was the last thing he ever did.

Under the cover of darkness they parked just up the road from the house, in the hopes to not raise any suspicions. Slipping out into the warm air, both quietly approaching the two doors on the building, splitting them evenly. Luckily, for once, there were only two men inside; taking one each the bodies dropped to the ground in the blink of an eye. The partners opted for a quick scan of the premises for any further Sicarios before giving the all clear.

“Cariño” Javi’s voice came out barely a whisper, catching sight of you from through the doorway. Eyes scanning your frame he could see you were stripped to just your underwear. Beaten, bruised, blindfolded and currently slumped over in a rusty metal chair. It wasn’t hard for him to miss your chest heaving with sobs. His heart sank, stomach twisting and turning in a sickly way - the bile starting rising in his throat. Then came the wave of rage. How could someone do this to you, a small, fragile but beautiful human being?.

Checking his surroundings again before holstering his gun he approached you cautiously, your head lifting slightly at the sounds of footsteps in the room.

“Please ...no…not again…please” you begged, screamed in fact. Evidently choking on a fresh set of tears. Javi stood frozen for a second a million thoughts whizzing around his head; what the fuck had they done to you?

“It’s Javi…sweetheart…you’re okay, Steve is outside the door…you-you’re safe now” he said, his own voice stammering as he processed the sight of you, the sickening feeling in his stomach not having passed yet as his mind ran with thoughts of what had happened to you in this room. 

“J-J-Javi….H-H-How?” you croaked. 

“Shhh now, it’s okay. I’m going to undo the ropes and blindfold for you. But it’s just me; I won’t hurt you” he said. 

Javi waited and the small nod of approval was enough for him to step closer. Approaching the back of the chair his eyes fell to your hands bound together with an old dirty rope. Releasing the knot took him longer than expected and he let out a sigh of relief upon seeing it hit the floor - not missing the angry bleeding marks which embellished the soft skin there.

Circling back around Javi wasn’t prepared for the sight he lay his eyes on; breaking his heart into pieces. The mixture of pain and blind rage bubbling up in his chest; insistent that he was going to make every single one of them pay. Fighting with his demons he wanted nothing more than to pull you into an embrace. Now was not the time for that though, as he was unsure how much physical damage you had endured, and wanted to get you straight to the hospital to be checked over.

“Hey…” a soft voice made you lift your head, eyes locking for a brief moment with those brown orbs, it being hard to miss the sadness and guilt swimming in them “…think you can stand?” Javi asked. 

You nodded, taking a minute for a deep breath in and out before shakily standing from the chair - feeling his eyes watching intently, ready to intercept at any moment. It wasn’t long before your shaking legs gave out, landing on the cold hard floor with a thump. At this point what was just another bruise for the ever growing collection.

“Okay cariño I’m going to carry you, alright? If you get uncomfortable at any point tell me, okay?”. Javi waited for your approval and after another slight nod he approached slowly, sliding one arm under the back of your knees and the other around your back, lifting your frame from the floor to carry you bridal style. Ever so careful with hand placement.

Cradled against his chest it was hard not to close your eyes, the sheer warmth radiating from his skin, your head nestled in the crook of his neck; forehead brushing against the exposed skin there. The smell of Javi filled your nose as you tried to control your breathing - a mix of leather, tobacco and coffee.

“You good, hermosa?” he asked. No words came out, just the nod of approval again to signal that you were okay. Making sure he moved slowly out of the house, he carefully bundled you into the backseat of the car.

“Is she alright?” the familiar voice cut through the darkness, and it took a second to realise that it was in fact Steve. You don’t remember much after that; the world plunged into darkness.

~~~

Coming to your senses, you slowly started blinking, desperately trying to open my eyes and see what’s around. The blinding light slowly subsided as you craned to take in the surroundings. Okay so this was a hospital, you knew that for certain, obvious by the pristine white walls and that goddamn awful bleach smell that made your nose crinkle in disgust. It was the soft voice from the right which caught your attention more though.

“Cariño…”. Turning your head, you saw him. There was Javi, sat in the sickly green looking hospital chair, standing the second your eyes locked. “…it’s okay we got you, you are safe now”.

A heavy sigh left your lips, the events of the morning playing vividly in your head. “I mean…I th-think so” your voice was hoarse and weak.

“I’ll go tell them you are awake” he smiled and reached out a soft warm hand, taking yours and giving it a quick squeeze before heading towards the door. 

Taking in the surroundings, you quickly noticed it was dark outside from the slight crack in the blinds over the window. How long had you been out? Looking down at your body, the tangle of wires and IV’s all connected into your skin causing a shudder to run up your spine. Not failing to notice that you were still just in your underwear, the scratchy feeling of the hospital blanket against your skin was uncomfortable, but at least it was covering you from the chest down. The door creaked open again, in strolling Javi moving to stand next to you.

Your skin was a mass of purple bruises and luckily only a few superficial cuts which were taken care of whilst you were out, your face being the part that had taken the brunt of the beating. They had left you with a hefty black eye, split lip, and fractured cheekbone. Javi was seething hearing the damage they had inflicted. But there was one thing he couldn’t get off his mind, the thought plaguing him for the many hours he had spent sitting in that goddamn chair.

“Sweetheart…I need to know…did-did…they touch you?” he stuttered, locking eyes with yours again, emphasis on the word he needed to get across so you understood what he was asking. Taking a moment to answer, you were obviously reliving the previous trauma and he could see it behind your eyes, tears just starting to collect at the lash line.

Gaze drawn back down to your lap all you could do was nod, not baring to look at him again knowing the tears will spill over. He had an idea but wanted it to come from you and the non-verbal response was enough. It took a lot for Javi to show his emotions but that was when he broke.

It was only when a nurse entered the room, fresh hospital gown in hand, that he turned away. More so to give you privacy whilst she helped you into the clothing, he let a single tear slip down his face whilst his back was turned, wiping it away with the heel of his hand. Gods above, he was going through it right now, unable to comprehend how someone could even do that to you. The feeling in his chest was insufferable, his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces again. He couldn’t even imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. 

It was only when he caught sight of the nurse leaving that he turned back around. Glancing over at the bed, you looked so small…so frightened. Javi wanted nothing more than to scoop you up into his arms and make the pain go away. But right now, that wouldn’t achieve anything, for as much as he wanted to. He was going to have to be so careful with you for a long, long while.

This was going to take time, but he swore then and there to be by your side every step of the way.

[maccreadysbaby]

A Hundred Days to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: anxiety attacks

wanna start from chapter one or read more? here’s the table of contents!

i’ve only had one (1) anxiety attack in my life a couple years ago so that is what i based this off of

part twenty-two

❝ EMOTIONAL SUPPORT TIM ❞

MONDAY — 5:12PM — DAY 93

BENTLEY HAD NO IDEA ALFRED BEING GONE MEANT JASON WAS GOING TO BE THE WAYNE FAMILY’S PERSONAL CHEF. He ended up staying at the Manor for the back half of Alfred’s sabbatical, just to cook. Bentley had quickly learned that Bruce destroyed every food he touched — like the toast he tried to make Damian the second day he was sick that ended up being solid black — and Jason had banned him from the kitchen. Actually, everyone was banned from the kitchen except Cass and Bentley.

The latter had actually been so non-destructive that Jason allowed him to help on a couple occasions. It was mostly retrieving things from the fridge and pantry, but he had mixed and measured a few things, too.

Today, he was helping Jason by accompanying Tim to the grocery store.

“Do not forget the lentils,” Jason called from the breezeway that led to the kitchen as Tim and Bentley put their coats on at the door. Bentley couldn’t see him from where he was standing, but he could imagine his expression. It always got a bit more serious when he was ordering people around for the sake of food.

“Just text me the list!” Tim replied back, in a duh tone.

Bentley heard Jason scoff. “You can’t remember it? I thought you were the smartest one of us!”

“Just send it to me!” Tim called back with a huff. Bentley snickered from his spot where he was struggling to zip his black coat. He hadn’t grabbed it on purpose, but he did notice that the tag had a messily sprawled Tim Drake on it. (He’d also noticed that things kept appearing in his wardrobe, new things, but he still preferred the hand-me-downs.)

“Alright, Dory!” Jason called.

Tim turned back to Bentley and rolled his eyes dramatically, glancing down at the coat he was struggling with.

“This one was always terrible to zip,” He stated, crouching down in front of him and completely ignoring Jason’s name-calling. “Wanna see my trick for it?”

“Sure,” Bentley replied, removing his hands from the zipper.

Tim hooked the zipper at the bottom and jerked it upward so violently he almost whacked Bentley right in the face. 

“See? Works every time,” He stated, standing back up and patting Bentley’s head. He snickered.

“Thank you,”

“No problem. Anytime you need a zipper yanked, I’m your man,”

Bentley chuckled again as Tim opened the door. “We’re leaving!”

“If I cry it’s not for you!” Jason called back. Tim rolled his eyes again (Bentley was surprised they hadn’t rolled right out of his head yet.) and went out the front door.

The biting cold nipped at Bentley’s skin, and it didn’t take long for the breeze to freeze him to the bone. The overcast sky that was hiding the sun only made the cold worse. Tim made a half-grumble about it being so cold while he fished around in his jacket pocket and unlocked his car.

Tim’s car was Bentley’s favorite. It wasn’t as expensive as Bruce’s, it wasn’t as perfectly taken care of as Jason’s, and it had seat heaters where Dick’s did not. (Maybe my butt is prone to getting hot, Dick had said when Jason had grumbled about it once. I wish my butt was prone to getting hot in fifteen degree weather, Jason had replied.) Bentley had never ridden in Duke or Steph’s cars to make a comparison. (He’d never been in Jason’s, either, but he didn’t really want to. It was like his child.)

They both climbed in quickly to escape the cold, and Tim cranked the heat up and turned the seats on immediately. “I hate winter in Gotham.”

Bentley didn’t say anything, mainly because he spent so much time cooped up somewhere in his father’s house that being outside at all, even when it was freezing, was kind of nice.

They pulled out of the Manor and drove through the massive gate out into Gotham beyond.

The drive consisted of them listening to various songs that played over the radio and changing them when they didn’t like them. Tim only listened to podcasts in the car (which Bentley had learned last time he rode with him to the library, because he’d talked about them all the way there.) so the radio stations were basically experimental. They ended up not liking most of them.

After about twenty minutes and a lot of bad songs, they pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store. It looked more crowded than the library, but it was also bigger, so Bentley assumed it would even out. The whole thing was glowing on the cloudy day, and he was kind of excited to see what the inside looked like. 

They booked it through the freezing-cold parking lot and through the automatic doors, into arguably the most colorful place Bentley had ever seen. The whole warehouse-sized building was full of shelves, which were covered in colorful boxes and packages. There were fruit and vegetable stands over to one side, and he could see a neon deli sign peeking out from behind some shelving. There were posters and signs everywhere, and bunches of lights hanging on the ceiling to tell them which checkouts were open. The whole place was buzzing with low chatter, and people scattered here and there with shopping carts full of stuff.

“I like this place even more than the library,” Bentley stated as Tim pulled a cart out of a big metal cart holder thingy Bentley hadn’t seen before.

“Then I’ll bring you with me every time. Grocery shopping usually stresses me out,” Tim stated, pulling the cart around and heading forward, toward the aisles. “But not when I have a cool friend like you with me.”

Bentley smiled as he walked along next to him. His deep brown eyes kept darting every which way, trying their best to take in all the colors.

“Plus, you won’t knock over the cart if you try to ride on it, like Dick does,” Tim explained, fishing out his phone. Bentley assumed he was looking at the list.

“Ride on it?”

“Yeah. He always stands on the rack at the bottom and holds onto the basket like he’s a little kid,” Tim explained, shaking his head. “He’s knocked it over a couple of times. Once when it had a bunch of stuff in it.”

Bentley snickered as they walked toward the vegetable displays. “This list looks like he’s trying to turn us into vegetarians.”

Tim held the phone over to Bentley, and he was right. The message was full of various vegetables and the like. Then, in one extra message at the bottom, it said oh, and beef.

Bentley shrugged. “Everything he’s made has been good.”

“He’s probably conditioning us,”

Bentley chuckled at that, and they continued to the tables. Tim grabbed a little plastic bag off the wall and started squeezing and inspecting various vegetables, bagging up the amounts Jason specified. Bentley took to looking around the store.

After they spent an exorbitant amount of time with the vegetables, they started heading toward the fridge aisles, where the beef was.

Bentley was distracted by watching the candy shelves and stuffed animals and balloons that sat near the checkout pass. He had a hand on the handle of the cart so he wouldn’t get lost.

He and Tim turned into the fridge aisle. But before they disappeared behind the shelves, Bentley saw something that made his heart nearly stop.

At the end of the store, standing in front of the dairy, staring at them…

Was his father. His red hair, his brown eyes, everything. He was wearing a button up and the jacket he only got out for cold days and he was standing right there, staring at them.

Bentley let go of the cart and let Tim drift ahead, counting his fingers once, twice, three times. 

His dad was there. And Tim was there. And he was there. And he was awake. He looked back at his father, and then at his hands, and his father was really there.

The only reasonable explanation was that his father knew. His father knew that Bentley liked the Wayne’s and he knew that he didn’t want to complete the plan and he knew that it was day ninety three and Bentley still hadn’t done anything and he was going to kill them. Bentley was going to die.

He pushed himself along behind Tim and they went between the shelves, his heartbeat accelerating until it felt like it was going to break his ribs. Tim stopped to grab something and he spoke, and Bentley nodded wordlessly, because he couldn’t really hear, and the colors in the store were getting duller.

His father was going to kill them while they weren’t home. They were going to die.

Bentley walked along as Tim pushed the cart ahead of him, suddenly feeling really cold and clammy but hot and stuffy at the same time. He could feel his hands shaking, and he tried to tell them to stop and stay still but they wouldn’t listen to him. Actually, nothing was listening to him. His whole body was wracked with nervous tremors and his lungs were taking in air at a rapid rate but it wasn’t doing anything. He couldn’t breathe. His chest felt like it was constricting and his stomach was flopping like a fish and his eyes were burning like he was about to start crying and he couldn’t make it stop. He couldn’t make any of it stop. Why couldn’t he make it stop?

Dumbly, he reached for Tim’s sleeve and pulled on it. He watched him turn around and look at him and say something but he couldn’t hear him. He tried to talk but all that came out was a weird little noise to accompany the hot tears that fell down his face.

His father was about to kill them.

Tim put a hand on his shoulder, his big blue eyes bouncing all over Bentley’s face. The child finally made his hand move just enough to sign the word outside.

Tim abandoned the cart and grabbed Bentley’s shoulders, guiding him toward the doors. He couldn’t see his father in the aisle anymore. The walk felt like a year, and he was glad Tim was holding onto him because everything was spinning a little bit. His arms and legs felt really heavy.

He was going to kill them.

Everything hurt. Bentley’s chest hurt like he’d sucked in some water and his head hurt and his stomach hurt and he thought he might’ve been dying. Could his father kill with a glare? When they made it outside the cold hit him like a truck and he shook with a sudden wave of violent tremors. He was crying and he couldn’t make it stop.

Tim led him to a bench on the outside of the store and sat him down on it, crouching in front of him.

Bentley numbly grasped at the front of his own jacket, like maybe he could get his lungs to work right, but it didn’t help. His head felt like it was pumped full of helium and he couldn’t think. He couldn’t think. He hiccuped from his crying but it turned into coughs. He thought he was going to throw up.

“Bentley, can you talk to me?”

He raised his shaking hands. All of the signs he knew left his brain, and he had to work to bring them back to his memory. He moved his hands quickly and sloppily, royally screwing up a few times, but he hoped Tim would get at least a few of them.

Pain.

Sick.

Faint.

Vomit.

Breathe.

Dying.

Tim took a breath and felt Bentley’s forehead with the back of his hand. 

“I think I know what’s going on. You’re not dying. You might feel like it, but you’re not, I promise. Try and take some slow, deep breaths.”

Bentley tried, but it didn’t actually work. All he could think about was his father coming out the front door to kill them. Another wave of violent trembles came over him, and Tim put his hands on Bentley’s knees. The contact made a difference, even if it was only microscopic.

Bentley tried again to suck in a deep breath, but it hurt, and he only ended up crying harder.

Tim unzipped his own jacket, grabbed Bentley’s hand, and put it against his shirt. “Try to breathe at the same time as me, and just as deep.”

He took a long, deep breath, exaggerating the rise and fall of his chest, and Bentley tried his best to follow along. He balled up the material of Tim’s shirt in his hands.

“That’s it, keep going. Your chest won’t hurt so bad once you breathe a bit slower,”

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there and tried to mimic Tim’s breathing, but after a while, the world was starting to come back into focus, and his head felt a little less like a balloon. It was getting dim outside. 

“Are you with me, bud?”

Bentley nodded slightly, even though he was still crying some and his stomach still felt rocky. His breathing was mostly under control now, and just like Tim said, his chest barely hurt anymore.

“Can you tell me how you feel?”

He sniffled, and his anxious trembling had meshed together with shivering.

“Cold,” He whispered. “And… my stomach is still funny. And tired. Am I… sick?”

Tim rubbed one of his knees lightly. “No, you’re not sick. I think you just… got a little overstimulated and had something called an anxiety attack.”

Bentley exhaled a shaky breath and looked down at his lap. That didn’t sound good. Was Tim sure he wasn’t sick?

“Have you ever heard of them?” Tim questioned. Bentley sniffled and shook his head no.

“It’s where your body thinks there’s danger when there isn’t. It can make you feel sick, or like you’re dying, but your body’s really just trying to protect you,” The teenager explained lowly.

“Doesn’ feel like protecting,” Bentley murmured. Tim huffed out a little trace of a laugh.

“Never does,” He replied, and he rubbed Bentley’s knee again. “I used to have them a lot, too.”

The child glanced up at him, and sniffed. “You did?”

“Uh-huh. Still do, sometimes,” He admitted. “Is there anything I can do for you, or get you?”

The thought of going back into the store made Bentley’s head swirl a little, because his father was in there. “…I wanna go home.”

Tim nodded once. “Okay. We can go home.”

He didn’t expect Tim to say that. He sat there for a minute until his brain caught up enough to realize that if they actually went home, Jason wouldn’t have what he needed.

“But Jason’s stuff…”

Tim looked at him sadly. “If you’re nervous he’ll be mad, he won’t. You’re more important all of that, Bentley.”

I have more important things to tend to, Bentley, his father had said on numerous occasions. It had never once, in his ten years of living, been you’re more important than all of that, Bentley.

“I’ll just text Dick and tell him to pick up the list on his way home. For now I’m going to take care of you and what you need, okay?”

Bentley nodded emptily. 

“If you’re ready to go, I can carry you to the car. Or we can sit here for a bit,”

Staying at the store any longer felt like a deathtrap. “I want to leave.”

Tim smiled lightly and extended his arms. “Okay. Then let’s get out of here, huh?”

Bentley stood up from the cold bench and wrapped his arms around Tim’s neck like he had when he had that terrible nightmare, and Tim picked him up and started retreating to the car. 

Tim put him in the passenger’s seat and moved over to the driver’s side, climbing in next to him. “One more thing, and then I’ll be quiet so you can rest.”

Bentley looked over at him. 

“If you ever feel like that’s going to happen again, you can come get me. Or anyone, if I’m not home. Everyone in the manor is pretty good at handling those, thanks to yours truly. Even Damian.”

Bentley tried to imagine Damian doing what Tim just did, and it didn’t line up, but he believed him. “Okay.”

Tim started up the car, and they pulled out of the parking lot. Bentley hadn’t realized how tired he actually was until the vehicle started moving, but he turned out to be drop dead exhausted. He wasn’t even sure they made it onto the main road before he fell asleep against the passenger’s side window.

—

He woke up slightly when Tim picked him up out of the car. Just enough to grab onto him so he wasn’t a ragdoll.

He heard the front door open and close, and after a few seconds, there was a voice.

“How is he?” Bentley thought it was Bruce.

He heard Tim sigh. “Sleeping now,” He whispered.

“You can put him in the den,”

Tim shook his head a little. “I want him with me. I have work to finish anyhow. I’ll ask him if he wants dinner in a bit.”

“Alright,”

Bentley felt Tim go up, up, up the stairs and take a left instead of a right. He laid him down in a bed and covered him up, and then there was silence, and then the mattress dipped beside him. Bentley heard laptop keys.

He opened his eyes just enough to see that he was in Tim’s room. The Tim in question had posted up beside him with his laptop and a file folder sitting on the comforter. Bentley shifted closer to him, grabbed onto a little bit of his hoodie, and went back to sleep.

—

dedicated to @sassenashsworld

—

tag list

@fleur-alise @cademygod @sarcopterygiian

[streakyglasses]

to love me so (i got you, babe)

From an anon prompt I got a while back: Chris and Street working through an unplanned, positive pregnancy test.

TW: referenced child abuse, referenced sexual assault (neither overly graphic), anxiety, concerns about disapproving families.

Read on ao3, ffn, or below the cut.

Two blue lines stare Chris in the face. Two. 

She’s faced gunmen and bombs and poison, and none of that was as terrifying as the air in her bathroom right now. Her blood rushes past her ears, her lungs strain against her ribs to try to expand, and her brain freezes. 

“Fuck,” she chokes out. The vanity is cold where her fingers claw at it, gripping so tight her knuckles turn white as her knees threaten to buckle on her. 

Fuck. 

Her mind spins as every day from the past two months replays in her mind. Every birth control pill. Every night, and afternoon, and morning with Street comes screaming back to her in technicolor. Where it would normally be comforting, now it feels like she’s searching for what went wrong. Like trying to find the missing piece that caused a car crash while she’s standing in the wreckage. 

Sweat breaks out on the back of her neck, a shiver running up her spine, and the familiar pull of her stomach bottoming out sends her crashing to her knees in front of the toilet before she can think. The small breakfast she had, the near-constant queasiness that she’s felt since Monday making it difficult to eat much of anything, comes back up. Her body heaves until her throat feels like razor blades. She groans once it’s all over, letting her head rest against the cool of the closed toilet lid while her heart stops racing. 

Peeling herself off the floor is a monumental task. She’s dizzy, the edges of her vision blurring when she gets to her feet, and she waits for it to clear before she opens the bathroom door. Her bedroom feels unfamiliar in a way it never has before as she grabs a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt and turns back to the shower. It’s as hot as she can stand it in an effort to cut through some of the—whatever—she’s feeling. 

As awful as her apartment feels, the notion of going out into the world like this feels even more dangerous. Knowing the TV won’t help and it will be hours before Street gets home, she closes her bedroom blinds and slides under the covers as her mind keeps spinning. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------

She planned to get up before Street got home. To make dinner or fold laundry and create some semblance of normalcy. But it’s easy to lose track of time and it isn’t until Street’s warm hand rests on her shoulder that she even realizes the day has gone by. Turning on her back with a groan, she sees his eyebrows crease with concern. 

“Hey, Babe. Are you still feeling sick? You could’ve called and I would’ve come home. It might be time to go to Urgent Care and see if they can give you something?”

Sterile white walls and blue latex gloves pop into her brain. Then ultrasounds and doctor’s appointments and a barrage of other scenes that she’s just barely able to keep at bay. She shakes her head to clear them as much as to answer him.

This isn’t how she wanted to do this. 

“I’m fine. Change, I’ll make dinner,” she mumbles, desperate for some control. His wrinkles grow deeper but he doesn’t fight her on it. She sits up and slides out of bed, not looking back on her way down the hall though she can feel his eyes dead center between her shoulder blades. 

Dinner is the leftovers that she made last night that she didn’t want any of, and she still doesn’t. The chicken sizzles in the pan as the veggies heat up. When Street reemerges, he sees her sipping ginger ale and tapping on the counter in an uneven rhythm. He gets down two plates and two glasses of water even though he isn’t sure she’s hungry, milling around because if he sits down the only thing he’ll do is stare at her. To curb his concern, she cuts one of the chicken breasts in half and takes a small serving of broccoli, but it mostly ends up pushed around her plate while she listens to him recount his day. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks again, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and glancing at her in his periphery. 

“We need to talk.” Chris says, her voice gravelly. She can’t look at him and keeps her eyes fixed on the stove where her reflection blurs out of focus. When he fills her vision, face more worried than before, her stomach drops again and she stands. Jerking her head, he follows without a word to her bathroom. She picks something up before he can see what it is, her face pale under the white light. 

“I realized today,” she starts, almost whispering and eyes down, “that I’m late. Between that and the—” 

Heart beating against her chest, Chris has to stop and remind herself to breathe. She risks a look at Street and can tell he isn’t quite with her. Her need to be on the same page trumps context, and she holds out the test to him, tucked into a plastic bag. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Her teeth cut into her bottom lip and she doesn’t breathe as she waits for his answer. He takes the plastic bag from her and looks at the lines like he doesn’t quite believe they’re there. Every nerve in his body turns over, but when he looks at her face and sees the uncertainty in her features, everything stops. 

“Are you okay?” 

She doesn’t know what she expects, some knee-jerk reaction of how he feels, but it isn’t that. Tears rush to her eyes once the question lands, and Street drops the plastic on the vanity to hold her instead, his hand tangling in her hair and his soft voice reaching her ear while hot tears soak into the collar of his shirt. 

“I’m here,” he tries to soothe her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. His instinct is screaming to tell her it will be okay, but he doesn’t know that, his mind starting to spin with more questions and what-ifs. All he can do is promise her his life, so he does. “I’m right here.” 

Finally in his arms, Chris feels safer than she has all day. Street knowing is a huge relief despite whatever might come next. She snakes a hand from around his back up to her cheek to wipe away some of her tears, leaving her face red and puffy. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, unsure if it's for her reaction, or the whole thing, and still unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t know—”

“Hey, no,” he stops her immediately, but gently. He pulls back enough to cradle her face in his hand, heart breaking at the sight of her. 

“You’re not alone. We’re gonna figure this out. I’m sure your head’s been going all day?” Chris nods small, Street repeating the action, and he catches her eyes again. 

“Why don’t I make some tea and we can throw something on TV for a little bit? Try to give your mind a break. We can talk about it more later, or tomorrow.” 

It’s out of her nature, all of her instincts screaming to find a solution immediately, but the exhaustion in her bones is a surefire sign that he’s right so she agrees. He takes a step back and she splashes water on her face enough to get rid of the film of tears, and then follows him down the hallway.

Street feels like he’s existing outside himself as he goes around her kitchen to make tea. Her kitchen. Because they haven’t moved in together yet. Because they’ve hardly been dating for half a year. They haven’t even talked about moving in together. Haven’t talked about the future very much at all. He hasn’t even thought to talk about children. 

“Calm down,” he murmurs to himself, quiet so she can’t hear, trying to get a hold of his brain. Glancing over, he sees the tension in her shoulders and jaw as she stares at the TV, and takes a deep breath. He finishes the tea and puts extra honey in hers. When he sits next to her, he gives her a gentle smile, and she whispers her thanks.

His mind continues to turn as they settle on a remodeling show. It’s easy enough to pay attention to without actually absorbing anything, and he feels the weight of her head on his shoulder a few minutes into it. Wanting to be as close as she does, his arm wraps around her until her soft skin contrasts the cool leather against his skin. Her hands find his other to hold on his lap a few minutes later, voice not directed towards him when she speaks, but the living room as a whole. 

“This is your decision, too,” she says, an edge he can’t read to her otherwise flat voice—the tone he’s only heard her use when she’s scared. “I need you to know that.” Holding in a sigh, he squeezes her hand and kisses her head. 

“Thank you. Do you want to talk now?”

Exhausted, she shakes her head and settles back into him and the couch, making herself as small as she can. 

“No, I just wanted you to know. Before anything.”

“Okay,” he says as lightly as he can. “We’re gonna get through this, Chris.” 

“Okay,” she whispers, unable to look up from the circular stain on her coffee table. The drone of the TV eventually lulls her into enough of a sense of calm to go to bed. Street’s barely a step behind her. 

She doesn’t look at herself too closely as she gets ready for bed and waits for him to get comfortable under the covers before she turns the light out and burrows next to him. He’s surprised when she lies her head on his chest. Though he usually wakes up with an arm over her stomach or their ankles locked, she’s rarely this affectionate when they’re trying to fall asleep. Still, he welcomes the weight.

“I can hear you thinking,” she murmurs against the cotton of his t-shirt. Leaning into her, he presses a kiss to her head and takes a deep breath. 

“Only ever about you. I love you.” 

Despite the fear that’s running through her veins and the way her hand keeps unconsciously finding her lower abdomen and making her flinch, she relaxes. 

“I love you, too.” 

She’s asleep not soon after. He’s glad for it, because it gives his mind plenty of room to race without extra attention. The edges of her bedroom are visible through the darkness until they morph into his childhood room and he closes his eyes against the pervasive, painful memories. 

More crop up. Ones he thought he’d long forgotten about. The scent of beer and cigarette smoke and a hot hand wrapped around his lanky arm tight enough to leave a ring of bruises. Of a hushed conversation between his parents that quickly turned into a screaming match he had no choice but to listen to: wanting another baby, not wanting another baby. His father’s enraged voice screaming he never wanted the kid they do have. 

Foster homes. Foster homes and group homes filled with tiny voices and angry teenagers and not enough food or time to go around. A vow he made to himself, when he doesn’t remember, that he’d never do to a kid what was done to him. And the paralyzing fear that the part of his father that he’s sure exists in him somewhere will jump out on its own one day, and who all will be left in the fallout. 

Sighing, Street carefully slides out from under Chris to cross back into the bathroom. He rubs at his face under the too-bright lighting until he only sees his current self and opens her cabinet to pull out a small orange bottle of tiny white pills. 

Take twice a day as needed. 

It’s now, he thinks, if there was ever a time to need them. 

He turns back to the bedroom and can just see her sleeping form in the light that floods out. He doesn’t know if it’s the sight of her or a placebo effect that seems to immediately make his heart calm down. It’s a conversation that has to be had, but not in the middle of the night. Not when he can get back under the covers and pull her close and, for all intents, it’s still just the two of them. He does. 

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Chris is awoken by a bout of nausea that sends her careening over Street and towards the bathroom. There’s little in her stomach to actually come up, but the more she thinks about what position she’s in, the worse her anxiety gets and she heaves more violently. It feels like she’s being ripped in half. 

He follows her as quickly as can. The sight of her from the bathroom doorway, so opposite of the previous night, freezes him in his own worry. A choked sob escaping snaps him from his mind and he rushes to her side. His hands are warm but shaky where they hold her shoulders steady and rub circles on her back. 

“You’re okay, I’m right here,” he tries to soothe her. When he brushes back her sweaty hair from her forehead, though, all Chris can picture is more mornings like this—for the next however many months. A hospital bed and a swollen stomach and a tiny, crying human that’s going to need things from her she’s not at all aware of or prepared to give. Things she’s not sure that she has in the first place. Street’s laugh as he chases a nameless toddler around an apartment messy with toys. Probably some spilled out next to his SWAT backpack that she’ll watch rush out the door every morning, straight towards imminent danger. 

Bile burns her throat as she wiggles out of Street’s grip and away from his voice to white-knuckle the porcelain even harder instead. Taking the hint but not willing to leave her, he sits back on his heels and watches her shoulders shake for what seems like hours. When the attack ends and she’s left feeling her own hot breath on her face, she’s exhausted. She spits into the bowl and leans back against the wall. 

“So much for calming down,” she hiccups, trying to cut through the tension. Opening her eyes she sees Street’s lips pressed together, his fists clenched to keep his own anxiety from spewing out. 

“It’ll be okay,” he promises, standing and handing her a shot of mouthwash followed by a glass of water. She swishes it around her mouth until the feeling of what just happened is only a memory. Looking up towards his hazel eyes, he’s holding a hand out for her, and she smiles tiredly when she takes it and he pulls her into a hug. Everything settles around them again as they sway on the tile.

“Breakfast?” He murmurs a few minutes later.

For the first time in days the mention of food makes her aware of just how ravenous her body is. She nods against him and then turns towards the sink to splash her face. 

“I don’t know how much I’ll be able to eat. But yes, please.”

“Eggs and fruit?” His eyes search her face for any discomfort for uncertainty, but there’s none and she agrees, following him towards the kitchen. 

Breakfast is an easy affair, if quieter than normal. She turns on the TV to let something fill the space and starts cutting fruit while he cooks the eggs. They sit at the dining room table, her foot brushing up against his leg every few minutes, eyes meeting but never lingering. When all that’s left are crumbs and thin trails of yellow yolk over their plates, she speaks up. 

“You go first.” 

Street’s breath catches and his eyes jump to hers.

“What?” 

“Go first,” she encourages him. “I—this is your decision, too. It’ll make me feel better knowing however you feel about what you want to do. Please?” 

Raising his eyebrows, he can count on one hand the amount of times she’s been so vulnerable, even since they’ve been together. His mind grasps for a place to start as anxiety courses through him, The only thing he can think to do is push his plate to the side and reach across the gray wood to take her hand. 

“I never thought I’d be in a position to want kids.” 

It comes out before he can think it through, but at least it’s out. He can’t look at her and keeps his focus on their intertwined fingers as more pours from him that he didn’t realize he’d internalized so deeply. 

“If there’s one person I would have a kid with, it would be you.” 

Chris sucks in a sharp breath. In his periphery, he sees her nod to keep going, and reminds himself that they’re in this together. 

“But I can’t imagine my life, our life, with a child, either. I promised myself I’d never hurt a kid, not after everything… you know.” 

On a shaking exhale, he squeezes her hand tighter. Tears come to his eyes that he doesn’t try to wipe away. It’s so still, the air between them, so quiet. Fragile. He’s always been more fragile than he’s let on. Covered it up with leather and motorcycles and walking out of explosions. But sitting across from Chris with the circumstances that are in front of them, he feels stripped beyond all of those defenses. Just a fragile, scared kid himself. 

“I don’t,” he sighs, slowly bringing their gazes together and seeing the emotions etched across her face. “I don’t want to live every day of my life scared that I’ll turn into my dad and do something I’ll never forgive myself for. If having a kid means running the risk of becoming like him, or hurting you, or myself, that’s not a risk I want to take.” 

His words land and her jaw clenches as she tries to digest them all. With his other hand, he finally dries the tears that fell, wishing her to say something soon. Another moment passes. She memorizes the wood grain and hears his fears echo in her own mind.

“I agree,” she whispers. She gazes up at him even as terror seizes her blood in her veins, trying to lose herself in them so she won’t panic again. 

“I don’t want this. Not right now, at least.” 

For Street, it’s a relief. But he looks at her again and it’s clear there’s a lot more weight on her shoulders. He cocks his head in a silent question and his heart skips when her hand stars to shake in his. Her thoughts collide with reality and fly from her mouth almost too fast for him to make sense of them, only worsened by how unsteady her voice is.

“But if—when—if we’re not. We can’t tell my family.” 

She covers her mouth to try to stifle her cries and screws her eyes shut like plunging herself into darkness will make it all go away somehow. With the same urgency from barely an hour ago, he lets her go to move around the table and wrap her in his arms. She pushes her chair back to give him the space and barely moves again as he tangles his hand in her hair and starts to whisper in her ear. His guts are spinning too fast, the heaviness of the realization paired with the need to comfort her all overwhelming. 

“Okay. Shh, Chris. That’s okay. It’s just us right now. No one needs to know anything.” 

Her tears don’t last long, a momentary whirlwind that she manages to knock herself out of before it gets anymore out of hand than it already has. Pulling back, she coughs roughly and shakes her head to clear away the last of the episode. His hand catches her face and brushes over her cheekbone. He doesn’t have to vocalize the question for her to nod and them to move to the cough. 

He waits for her to get comfortable before lying next to her so they’re on their sides and facing one another, observing the ropes of tension running through and determined to help unwind them. She lies between him and the back of the couch, kept safe from the world through his body crowding hers in the way only he can, and still make her feel like she can breathe. She stares at his jaw.

“I don’t know where to start,” she whispers. He presses a gentle kiss to her forehead and feels her hot exhale on his neck. “I don’t know when.” 

“Not your fault,” he counters, features soft. “Whatever or however this happened, we’re in it together.” 

His words are like a balm and her lips quirk up small. Able to set her cacophony of feelings to the side over how they got here in the first place, she shifts back to where Street’s already been for hours. 

“My mom sucked, too. Bad. I swore off kids the day she died and haven’t thought about it since. It’s just my family, and the team… as ridiculous as that is.” 

He thinks he knows where she’s headed, but he doesn’t interrupt aside from telling her that nothing she’s feeling is ridiculous. She sets her ear over his heart to hear it beat and focuses on the feel of the couch against her bare legs. 

“Aunt Helena and Uncle Sarzo,” she starts with a sigh, “they love me, but it would be a lot for them to have to process. A lot of the rest of my family wouldn’t approve, and Deac and Annie, too, I—” 

Groaning, Chris squeezes her eyes shut again and wishes she could just say what’s firing around her brain and cutting off the blood flow to her heart. 

“My family is so important to me, and I don’t want to hurt the people I love with this decision. But I can’t do it. We’re more important to me,” she finally gets out. Street understands all that goes unsaid. 

“The one thing I’ve always admired about you is how yourself you are, Chris.” He says, hearkening back years with his words and his hand splayed over her back. “I know how much your people mean to you, but this is our business. No one else’s. That’s okay.” 

“That’s not all,” she interrupts, still in her head even as it processes what he said and lets his words calm her. He looks down at her, but she’s staring into his chest. He tightens his grip, determined to hold it together when she sighs with more exhaustion than she should ever feel again.

“It’s my body.”  She finally whispers, then buries her face in his chest and breathes in his scent as deeply as she can until it blocks out the awful memories clawing at her throat.

“It’s your body,” he affirms gently, rubbing up and down her back as she speaks even softer. 

“A lot of people have had control of my body when I didn’t want them to.” 

Street feels his heart crack and tells himself he needs to keep his breathing even and his hands steady where they are. He presses ever closer, like he can shelter her from the darkness of the world forever from where they are on the couch, and feels her chest as it rises and falls. 

“I want control over myself—I need it. And I’m scared that if we tell people, even after it’s done, they’ll—say things. Try to exercise control over us, the decision we made, my body.”

Blowing out a slow breath, he pulls the unfolded blanket off the back of the couch so they’re covered, and buries his face in her hair. He doesn’t say anything and feels her arms come around him, too. Time slows as they hold one another. He thinks he feels their heartbeats sync, and breathes her in deeper.

“Thank you,” she murmurs against him a few moments later, comforted by everything familiar about him. He nods against her and kisses the top of her head, not yet pulling back to meet her eyes, but speaking low enough his breath just brushes against her ear. 

“This is our choice, and you’re in control. We don’t have to tell anyone. And if you, or we, ever decide to, I will do everything in my power to make sure no one says anything about what we chose and we did.” 

He feels her smile against him, but her tone isn’t as sure. She sounds tired when she speaks.  

“You can’t make sure of that. It’s always going to be more on me than you.” 

“I know,” he agrees, voice sad, but unwavering. “But I can make it clear that we did this together from start to end. That we made the best decision for us, not just you.” 

She closes any of the remaining space between them. He holds her tighter, his tone softening. 

“But we don’t have to worry about that right now, because we don’t need to tell anyone anything. Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She guides his head down enough for their foreheads to touch and opens her eyes into his. His irises are a deep, mesmerizing web of colors that sparkle even with barely any light around them. “I love you.” “I love you, too,” he grins small, then kisses her. His hand runs through her hair. “We can go wherever we need to later, or tomorrow. Whatever you want.” 

Her eyes narrow with a minute shake of her head. 

“You don’t have to come.” 

“Together, Chris,” Street says. “Start to end. If you want me there, I’m there.” 

Her hand brushes against her stomach again, but this time it doesn’t feel like the end of the world. It feels like things will be okay. Eventually. As long as they’re together. 

“I want you there,” she says, not a trace of doubt in her words amidst her lingering concerns over what there will entail. His lips are soft and easy when they find hers, his thumb grazing over her cheekbone and their eyes locked. With the blanket cocooning them and his cologne hanging in the air she breathes, Chris is fairly certain they’re the only two people in the world. He senses her fragile calm and kisses her again. She’s certain she never wants that to change. 

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*i know this isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea. i personally love stris with non-biological kids, but pregnancy/birth is very different, and i have a hard time finding my/their characterization in that situation. but not ever saying never, either! all that's to say, i appreciate the reads/tags/reblogs/asks (please let me know your thoughts! i love to talk about their characters and this show so much) esp. on a fic like this!!

xo

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey, cas!

I think I need some advice. Apologies in advance if this sounds too urgent or something. I know one of your boundaries is to not feel pressured to answer immediately and I don’t want you to feel like that’s what I’m doing.

So school started again about three weeks ago but I was sick the entirety of last week, so I’ve only actually been to school for two. Where I live the school system is a bit different from America, but you could say that this is my first year of high school, only that I didn’t have to change schools.

Even though it’s only been two weeks, I’m already immensely stressed out. Now that I’ve been sick for a week, I’m scared I missed too much stuff, especially because the level of things we need to do has doubled since last year. I’ve always been pretty lazy and never really studied for anything except sometimes math. I never needed to because I got Bs and often As anyway. Now however I’m completely overwhelmed.

Last night I panicked so much about having to go back to school today, that I almost threw up. When I realized, I found myself thinking about forcing myself to throw up to prove to my mother that I was still sick so I wouldn’t have to go to school.

When I realized that that was what was going on I had another breakdown and didn’t do anything. I felt almost disgusted at myself for even thinking about that.

This morning I wanted to fake a headache, but ended up not because my mother kept insisting I go to school.

When I was on my way to school, my bike had issues, so I asked my mom to come help me. I had a breakdown before she even arrived. When she did, she tried to help me and understand what was going on, but I couldn’t really speak or listen to anything she told me. I think I may have had a panic attack of some sort.

When I’d calmed down enough to explain what was going on, she tried to reassure me that everything would be alright and that my grades didn’t matter to her. I knew all of that already, but it did calm me down a bit.

After we agreed that I can stay home today as long as I promise to go tomorrow, no matter what, she suggested that I go to therapy, which I was planning on asking for anyway.

All in all it doesn’t sound as bad anymore now that I’ve typed it all out like this. The only issue is that in my country Therapy waiting lists take an average of 6 months. I don’t know how I’m supposed to wait that long.

Do you have any advice on how to get my anxiety under control until then. Or how to feel less stressed about school in general. I can’t talk to my teacher because she’s very strict and her method of teaching people who don’t know stuff yet is to repeatedly call on them and throw them in ice water basically. I’m sure she means well, but it only increases my anxiety by a tenfold. What would you tell your students if they were having trouble with something?

I definitely struggled with this when I was younger, so I completely get it. I think one of the things about feeling overwhelmed like this is you feel like you have to get it all done in one day. So instead, could you maybe make a list of the things you need to get done, but then separate it into manageable chunks? Like Make up all your math work on Monday, science on Tuesday, etc? You could even show your teacher your plans to let her know you're working toward getting caught up.

Honestly, I would tell my student that you need to go easy on yourself. If you push yourself too much, you're going to end up learning less because you're too stressed! The people what expect you to be perfect aren't worth it. Take breaks, do a little at a time, and remind yourself that it's just as important to take care of yourself as it is to catch up <3

Sending love and naming you catch up anon!