#and then he just casually mentions the tardis

[saltlickmp3]

Radiohead, in rainbows disk 2, song 6, first line.

thom yorke doctor who reference real??

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?” 

“Not home.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 

“Wassup, Chang.” 

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 

“Is she breathing?” 

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 

“Did she have any?” He asks. 

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 

“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 

“I-I don’t know...” 

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 

Maybe even still. 

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 

“Oh, Ellie…” 

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 

“Thank you, D, seriously.” 

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 

“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 

“Are you okay, El?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 

“I’m fine, Jess.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 

“Look—” 

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 

“You don’t understa—” 

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 

“I… I—” 

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 

“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 

“What about her?” Ellie asks. 

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 

“So?” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie clicks her tongue. 

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 

Barbie Bear. 

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 

Dear Ellie, 

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 

Earlier That Evening 

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 

“What?” 

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 

“Oh, uh…” 

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 

“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Whatever.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Well?” Daniela asked. 

“It’s kind of complicated.” 

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 

“Look, Daniela—” 

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 

“So you said.” 

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 

“Hey, what the fuck—” 

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 

Present 

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 

Joel. 

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 

Joel picks up after only two rings. 

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 

“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 

“Yeah…” 

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 

Last August: Jackson 

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 

“Knock, knock.” 

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 

“You, dude.” 

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 

“Need any help packin’ up?” 

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 

“Like I said: essentials.” 

Joel chuckled. 

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 

“Good.” 

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 

“Ellie.” 

“What?” 

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 

“She ditched me.” 

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 

“What do you want from me, old man?” 

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 

“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 

“We weren’t together.” 

“Yes, you were.” 

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 

“You still have the box, Ellie.” 

“I just forgot I even had it.” 

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 

“Sorry, dude.” 

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 

“That so? How do you figure that?” 

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 

Present Day 

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 

“I know, baby girl.” 

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 

“What don’t I understand?” 

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 

Ellie chokes back a sob. 

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 

“Ellie.” 

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 

“It’s not that simple, kid.” 

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 

“All I did was—” 

“All you did was save her life.” 

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

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[cantwritethetword]

(2024) TickleTober Day 26: Kisses - Spoilers

Fic Descript - Nowhere in their diaries does it mention at what point River finds out the Doctor is ticklish. Unfortunately for him, he assumes she already knows.

~A/N  - Once again, blame @carrie-tate for my Doctor Who resurgence (like look at this and tell me it doesn't fill your heart with joy)

And you can also blame her for a specific line in this fic that she created (and tagged me in which was super cool sdfjkhasfjklh) cause it's GENIUS

Not a super long fic but I actually really love the entire concept for this one hehe, so I hope you all do too.

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @fullsongphilosopher

Masterpost Link 

TickleTober Masterpost

"Running off again?" River called out, as The Doctor pushed open the door to his TARDIS.

The Doctor turned to lean against the doorframe, flashing her a small grin. "Thought you'd expect that by now, you know me."

"I do." She smiled, moving closer so they were mere inches apart. "More than you think."

River pressed a kiss just under the side his jaw, expecting nothing more than a smirk in response before her partner would whisk himself away in his incredible blue box.

But her prediction couldn't have been further from reality, as The Doctor giggled and scrunched his shoulder up between them - making her half-jump away in surprise. River gave him a innocently puzzled look, smiling slightly in endearment at the noise he had made.

"Shut up." He blushed, refusing to meet her gaze.

River laughed, moving herself into his field of vision. "What was that?"

With a groan, The Doctor's face flushed further. "You know what that was!"

River paused, genuinely trying to come up with some recollection of what the last few seconds could possibly have been caused by. "I don't-."

"Oh-... Um- In that case-" The Doctor began to backpedal, but his reaction was only quick enough to realise his incorrect assumption had just landed him in deep trouble.

"Wait..." River smirked, catching on at the perfect time to put 2 and 2 together. "Are you ticklish?"

There it was.

The Doctor broke into a rare, nervous smile. "Uh... No...?" He stated with an unconvincingly low level of confidence.

"Is that so?" She smirked.

"Um-"

"Remind me, what's the first rule of travelling with The Doctor?" River asked innocently, sliding her hand around his torso and casually poising her fingers against each of his lower ribs.

"River!" He squeaked, his hands fumbling over themselves. "I'm not-! You don't-! It's not-!"

River closed what little distance remained between their faces, so once again her lips brushed against his neck. "The Doctor lies."

His shoulders scrunched up, though this time The Doctor put far more effort into resisting any hint of a smile spreading across his face - he was practically vibrating with effort. River slowly traced her fingers over his ribs, relishing in every jump and reluctant snicker that managed to sneak through the cracks in the Doctor's resolve.

"What a rare sight..." She teased, beginning to softly claw her hands over his sides. "The Doctor, left speechless... I never thought I'd see the day."

"RIVER!" He yelped, twisting away from her.

Unfortunately for him, that only led to River wrapping her arms around his waist and fluttering her fingers over his stomach.

Every time her hands touched down it seemed worse than the last time, and so it didn't take long for the Doctor to burst into helpless giggles. It was like she naturally gravitated to each of the most ticklish areas on his body, hitting each spot like clockwork and tearing the poor Time Lord apart.

"Still sure you're not ticklish?" She half-shouted above his laughter.

When he didn't respond, she decided to move her hands down to latch onto his hips.

"NO RIHIVER YOU KNOHOW I CAHAN'T!" He cackled, desperately trying to push her hands off of him.

"What, have we done this before?" She chuckled as her fingers drilled into the sensitive bones.

"SHUHUT UHUP!" The doctor cackled, trying to twist out of her arms.

"Oh Sweetie," She cooed sympathetically, hooking under his arms and moving her fingers up to twirl around his neck and ears. "Does it tickle?"

He curled his shoulders up with a giggle, sinking into her embrace. Although it still tickled like hell, he appreciated the break from his far more ticklish upper body, and at this point was too tired to fight back.

Thankfully, River also seemed to sense his complete exhaustion, and so it didn't take long for her to finally let him free. They both sunk to the floor, with The Doctor lying exhausted in her lap.

"There's no way that was your first time." The Doctor panted, a smile still stuck on his face.

River laughed gently. "And why's that?"

He shot her a glare. "You figured out I was ticklish ridiculously quickly, and then you knew exactly where to tickle me every single time."

She shrugged, but couldn't help the grin sneaking onto her face. "Maybe you're just easy to read."

He rolled his eyes and sat up. "Did you know I was ticklish or not?"

River grinned. "Spoilers."

[7ndipity]

Jin Nsfw Headcanons

Jin x Reader

Warnings: +18 mdni, Smut. Mentions of oral(f. receiving), pain kinks, not proofread

A/N: We’ve made it to the last, but certainly not least, member on the list, our sweet Jinnie!

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

He’s a very soft switch, tho I can’t shake the feeling that he’s a lil sub leaning. He truly doesn’t care who takes the lead tho, he just wants you both to feel good.

(If anything, he’s a power bottom. He absolutely loves having you on top where he can watch as he thrusts up into you)

He is a romantic at heart tho, so he loves soft, slow sex where you’re not rushing anything, just relishing the feeling of your lips on him, your skin beneath his fingers, your wet heat clenching around him.

That being said, he’s a lil bit freaky, and very honest about it, in spite of his shyness(I’ll never understand the vanilla perception so many people have of him). Like, he will just bring up random things he wants to try over dinner, like “How do you feel about breathplay?”. It doesn’t matter to him that he can feel his ears burning as you talk.

He has such a casual, curious approach to things, so he’s always down for buying new toys or tools and trying out new dynamics/scenes with you.

Majorslight pain kink, though I’m not sure if he realizes it entirely. He just knows that it feels really good when you’re rough with him and slap or scratch him, especially along his back and inner thighs(lowkey think he might also have a thing for biting, but👀)

Utterly obsessed with your thighs, he lives for having them wrapped around his waist or head(will 100% ask you to intentionally suffocate him with them just a lil bit when he eats you out). Even just wearing shorts or a short skirt around him is enough to make him hard and needy.

Without a doubt, the whiniest member. He starts out on the quieter side with breathy moans and whimpers, but once the pleasure starts to build, he cannot shut his mouth, letting out drawn-out whines and strangled cries. He even whines while giving you head.

Which, btw, he’s amazing at. You can’t look at that mouth and tell me he’s bad at oral.(I mean, you can, but you’d be wrong).

Praise kink for sure. He just wants to know that he’s doing a good job making you feel good and that you love him. Another member who’ll absolutely buckle if you call them a good boy(use this info with caution tho)

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ Why does love?

Gender neutral

- order 77 | headcanons | First Years (Housewardens too ig)

Ace Trappola

Out of all people— you have a crush on Riddle?! He silently judges you for this. At first he thought you were just playing around trying to get a reaction out of him.

He was in denial for a bit before noticing how every time you “came to hang out” with him and Deuce, you gravitated towards Riddle. You always hugged him when you saw him and after a while complete ditched your best friends for their housewarden!

Now Ace will never stop mentioning your crush on Riddle. You’ll casually be reading Romeo and Juliet for class and he’s like “You and Riddle?” Just to make fun of you.

He is definitely not supportive. You saw how he was at the beginning of the school year— just a little bratty tyrant. And yes he did indeed change, but even now how could you be attracted to him.

“Riddle is really sweet though. Say, will you help set me up with—“

“Hell no.”

Honestly he would understand if it was Trey or even Cater but Riddle is bottom of the barrel in his eyes.

What’s even more frustrating is that Riddle definitely likes you back. He is way more tolerant of you misdeeds than anyone else. Riddle is always asking about you to him and Deuce. Like, where you are and if you’re struggling on any subject. Such a caring boyfriend…

Deuce Spade

Ehehe, what? It was unthinkable for you to have a crush on Riddle Rosehearts. He wasn’t sure if you were joking until you had to prove you were serious.

“Riddle, do you wanna go on a date?”

“D-date? I’ll see if I have time…” He bashfully said.

“AHHHHH THEY WERE SERIOUS?!”

Deuce is supportive unlike Acey-Wacey. He supportive by default but he really wants you to think hard when you say you have a crush on Riddle. The heart wants what it wants, he understands that. He promises to be at your wedding when the time comes.

Make him the flower boy!!

Jack Howl

Oh wow. That’s all he really could say. You two were just walking to the library together to return some books having a small conversation until you said “Leona is so hot I want him so bad.” Like wow maybe a warning next time. He really doesn’t know what to say. He just gives you a look.

He knows Leona isn’t a bad guy and he is very much not against it but what does it have to do with him?

Apparently you like guys who act cold because you really don’t care that Leona seems not to have any interest. You followed him around and he kinda just allows you to.

“No way, he totally likes me back. He literally sent Ruggie away to spend alone time with me.”

“Wait, really?”

It’s kinda hard to imagine that you actually made some progress with him. He usually tells you if Leona is in a bad mood or where he is. And you run across the school just to say hi to him. Maybe true love does exist.

Epel Felmier

Damn he knew something was up! He didn’t understand why you always wanted to go to Pomefiore, you always used the excuse that you wanted to hang out with him but you didn’t really hang out with him. You hung around Vil.

You denied having a crush on Vil but he noticed you were being love-dovey about things and smiling to yourself. You were making it too obvious but Vil was making it worse.

Always doting on you and walk you to class in the morning or some times you walk him to class even if you get marked tardy. He always has to fix your tie and fix your hair. Epel thinks you do it on purpose so Vil will care for you.

At some point you stopped lying to him when he started asking too many questions about your relations with Vil.

“Okay I’ll be honest. I don’t like Vil.”

“Be fer real—“

“I love Vil!♡︎”

He’s never falling for your lies of “Can I hang out at your dorm?” ever again. He will physically kick you out of Pomefiore the next time he sees you.

He really doesn’t blame you that much. Vil is well known, rich, and pretty so it makes sense but he won’t forgive you.

Ortho Shroud

The only one that genuinely supports. He’s actually really glad it’s you since you’re his friend so he knows you’re not a bad person. There’s plenty of people who just want the money from the Shroud name but he knows that doesn’t matter to you.

He’s also just afraid that Idia would end up alone. As said before, a majority of people would try to get with him for the money. Trust me he will be your wingman throughout all of this. He’s always talking about how great his big brother is to you.

“Idia is just amazing! He coded a game all by himself.”

“That’s so cool!”

“Also Idia mentioned you today.”

“Oh my goodness, what did he say?”

He’s always setting you two up to see each other and make it seem like a coincidence that you too have been bumping into each other so much.

What’s perfect is that Idia likes you back too! Ortho straight up asked him, do you like MC one time and Idia short circuited.

“L-L-L-L-Like?! Nonononononono Ortho what are you thinking?! Some weirdo like me could never even think about a relationship with someone so cute and kind!”

“Ooo you’re blushing! Your hair is turning pink.”

Blushing, hiding his face, laughing, everything else. Idia tries not to talk about you but he’s always asking Ortho what you were doing today and such.

He has the wedding all planned out. He’s determined to set you two up. He wants one of you to confess first. Even though he knows for sure that it’s a mutual feeling, he wants you two to figure that out on your own.

Sebek Zigvolt

When you started spouting nonsense about a crush and how lovely he was, he just brushed it off. He wasn’t interested in your romantic life one bit.

He never would’ve guessed it was his young master that you were trying to romance. And unfortunately it was working.

He didn’t understand why Malleus came back smiling to himself or muttering something under his breath. He also started playing around a little more. All very positive changes.

At the same time you were blushy and talked about being exciting for night to come so you can meet him. Whoever that him is, hope he’s ready to deal with your silliness.

When you gave Malleus an invitation to VDC, Malleus was positively glowing. He was blushing and rolling around on his bed holding the invite like a lovesick school girl. Malleus was definitely in love.

Ace, Epel, and Deuce mention it later.

“I thought it was just some random dude. I can’t believe you were flirting with Malleus Draconia…”

He wanted to laugh, what an odd joke. “Are you talking about some sort of a dream?”

The three stare at each other than at you.

“That dude MC was droolin’ over was Malleus Draconia.”

Sebek immediately is engulfed with shock. He’s in denial for a bit until he looks at you and shakes you back and forth.

“You… monster! You charmed the Young Master!! You are a lowly human, you are in no way worthy of a Royal fae like Malleus! Do you hear me?!”

He’s super mad and his week is officially ruined. It tells Lilia and Silver about it and Lilia just giggles while Silver congratulates him on finding love.

Lilia thinks is cute how you fell first but Malleus fell way harder.

Now they know where Malleus runs off to at night. He feels stupid since it was kinda obvious if he just looked into it more. He just hopes that you will treat his young master right and he’s happy (begrudgingly).

[samkiszkasfacialhair]

Choose the Road Chapter 1

Choose the Road: Chapter 1

Pairing: Sam Kiszka and Female Reader

Summary: A coming of age story about Sam Kiszka’s first love.

Masterlist

Warnings: Marijuana use.

Word Count: 2.9k

October 2016, Senior Year Of High School:

“Two minutes late,” you heard your teacher say casually as you snuck into your seventh period physics class. No matter how many times you tried to explain that you come from the other side of the campus, he would never cut you any slack. 

A sea of eyes stared at you as you entered the room and walked down the row of desks.

“Third time this month. After school detention. Tomorrow,” he said before continuing with his lesson.

You sighed and sat down, not even bothering trying to explain yourself. 

Quickly, you started catching yourself up with the lesson, which was almost impossible for you considering it was physics; when a few minutes later, the door swung open again. 

No one bothered to look up. Everyone knew who it was. Sam Kiszka.

“Every day, Sam?” your teacher asked, giving him a much different reaction to tardiness than he gave you. 

Sam shrugged and walked down the aisle, lowering himself down into the desk behind yours. 

You couldn’t believe he wasn’t getting detention. He was at least ten minutes late every day. He only got away with it because your teacher liked him. As a matter of fact, Every teacher liked him. He was smart and funny without being too over the top; not to mention, very “charismatic.” He would tilt his head, flash a full toothed smile, and get his way instantly. 

You’ve known Sam forever. You both lived in Frankenmuth your entire lives. He was in your kindergarten class, back when he had a buzz cut and brought legos to school for show and tell. Actually, Sam was your first kiss, when you were five. 

He pulled you under the big tunnel slide on the school jungle gym and told you to close your eyes. In typical Sammy fashion, you thought he was going to dangle a worm in front of your face or something. But instead, he kissed your cheek and then ran away, giggling with his friends and screaming “I told you I would do it!” 

You never spoke about it since. You were pretty sure he didn’t even remember and you’d be crazy to ever bring it up again. Besides, you and Sam didn’t talk at all. You wouldn’t even consider him a friend to be honest- he was a classmate, an acquaintance. Since Kindergarten, he’d always been just there. 

He was different from everyone else your age. He had long hair that he grew out to the point where it just touched his shoulders. He liked different kinds of music, and he was smart without trying. He also kept to himself and kept a small friend group. He played in his brother’s band and mostly hung out with them. You knew he had older siblings, but you didn’t know much about them other than the fact that two of them were twins and he had a sister who graduated last year.

At the end of class you were packing up your stuff when you heard your teacher say, “Samuel, tomorrow-”

“After school detention, right? Got it,” Sam replied with a smile and a little finger gun motion.

Your teacher laughed, rolled his eyes, and began erasing the board as you, Sam, and the rest of the class exited the room. 

The Next Day, Thursday:

After the last period of the day, the hallways bustled with students and teachers leaving for the day. The excitement of Friday being the next day filled the air and everyone was itching to go home.

Everyone except you, of course. 

Instead of going home, you made your way to room 129. Detention. 

The hallway was cleared out as everyone had gone home for the day. You were just about to turn the door handle to enter when you heard a soft and sweet voice behind you. 

“You’re not actually going to detention, are you?”

You turned your head and looked up to see Sam standing there, eyebrows raised, and hands crossed in front of his chest. You let go of the doorknob and shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t really have any other choice,”

“Of course you do. Skip it with me,” he said as he quickly jutted his chin in an upward motion.

“Skip it?” 

“Yeah,” he said as he began moving his arms as he talked, “I’ve been here enough times to figure out the routine by now. Mr. Kroeger doesn't take attendance and he spends the entire hour grading papers. He doesn’t look up from his desk to see anyone come or go. It's quiet and he gets paid to get his grading done. He’s just supervising detention for a paycheck. So come on. Live a little.”

You had to admit, he was probably right. No, not probably- of course he was right. Of course he had it all calculated. Of course he knew how it all worked. And of course, he looked absolutely adorable explaining his theory to you. So of course, you listened to him.

You sighed and dropped your arms to your side. 

“What exactly do you have in mind?” you asked, taking one hesitant step closer to him.

“Follow me,” he said, turning around on his heels and starting down the hall. 

He led you down the hall and through double doors that opened up to a stairwell. You followed him as he walked around the corner and sat down with the staircase rising above his head. He sat crisscrossed with his backpack in his lap and began rummaging through it. You sat next to him, leaning against the brick wall and extended your legs out, crossing your feet at your ankles. 

“You wanna know why I’m always late to physics?” he asked, digging his hand through the contents of his backpack. 

A small smile lit up his face as he pulled his hand out of his backpack, revealing a single joint between his fingers. He dug into his pants pocket and pulled out a neon green lighter. As he did, his elbow nudged into your arm lightly. You could feel the soft flannel of his shirt on your skin and the heat from his body on yours. 

“Everyday before seventh period, I come here,” he said casually as he stuck the joint in his mouth, flicked the lighter on, brought the lighter to the joint, and lit it. 

The end of the joint lit up at the end with an orange circle as Sam’s lips wrapped around it. You watched his cheeks go hollow and his eyes close as he inhaled. He pulled the joint away from his lips, held the smoke in for a few seconds, and tilted his head back against the wall as he exhaled slowly, letting the smell of weed fill the air.

Once the smoke had dispersed some, he opened his eyes, turned his head to you, and continued, “I come here, smoke a little, and then go to class. By the time I get there? Late,” he shrugged. 

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked deeply at the joint in his hand, “It gets me through the rest of the day. Plus this is the only stairwell in the school that doesn’t have cameras,” he said looking up at the ceiling.

You followed his gaze and looked too. He was right. Not a single camera.

He held the joint out to you and you admired him for a second. How did he always seem to just know everything and get away with everything? How did he figure all of this stuff out? How did life come so easy to him?

Sam was booksmart, that much you knew. But this Sam that you were getting to really know for the first time was street smart- but not cocky or show-offy about it at all. In fact, it made him more attractive in a sense.

“Hm,” was all you said in response to his explanation. 

It was quiet for a second before Sam spoke.

“You ever smoke before?” he asked casually.

You shook your head at him shyly, silently giving him the answer to his question.

“You wanna try? You don’t have to, but it’s nothing. Here,” he said nonchalantly as he held the joint out to you. 

You thought for a moment. You were completely out of your comfort zone. Skipping detention and now about to smoke weed, two things you’ve never done before. Yet somehow, with Sam, you felt just a bit at ease. That seemed to be the way he made everything feel. You didn’t know it then, but you’d come to find that out soon.

Hesitantly, you took the joint from his fingers and inspected it for a moment.

He turned his body on the floor a little and tilted his head to the side a bit to get a better angel to watch you at. It was obvious to Sam that you didn’t really know what you were doing. 

“You just suck in a little, hold in the smoke for a second, and blow it out,” he instructed. 

Trying not to look like a complete amateur, you lifted the joint to your lips to take a hit. You wrapped your lips around it and did as Sam instructed. As you inhaled, you felt the tiniest bit of smoke warm your throat and lungs. Almost instantly, you coughed it back out, as you didn’t have any type of tolerance for smoking yet. 

Sam’s loud laugh echoed through the stairwell and you felt your cheeks warm up with embarrassment though Sam was laughing with you and not at you. The laughter you both shared faded as you held the joint out to him and Sam took it back.

You expected him to take a hit for himself but he didn't. Instead, he leaned his body closer to you, brought the joint up to your mouth and held it there. His hands, just inches from your face, shook as he held it right in front of you.

His mouth involuntarily opened as a silent gesture signaling you to mimic the action.

His mouth stayed open and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip in concentration.

You closed your lips around the joint again and began to inhale.

“Slow,” he whispered as you inhaled, feeling the tiniest bit of smoke warm your throat and lungs again, this time, softer and easier than the last time.

“There,” he coaxed in a whisper as you took a longer hit. 

He pulled the joint from your mouth, his eyes now meeting yours.

“Blow,” he said softly. 

You followed his command and exhaled a trail of smoke out of your mouth which created a temporary haziness over your view of Sam.

“Yeah just like that,” he whispered as he watched your mouth as you blew out the smoke.

His eyes stayed on your lips for a bit before they returned their attention to your eyes.

He nodded at you in satisfaction and then took a hit for himself.

He pulled the joint from his mouth and lazily let the smoke tumble out in thick clouds expertly. He leaned his head back against the dark brick wall, closed his eyes, and smiled. The weed was definitely working its way through his system now.

He opened his eyes and looked up before letting out a laugh through his nose. 

“What’s so funny?” you asked.

“You know what this kind of reminds me of?” he said as he squinted his eyes which were fixated on the staircase hanging above your heads.

“What?”

“That big slide from elementary school. The red one that everyone used to play under. Doesn’t sitting under here kind of remind you of that?” 

A staircase hung above you, connecting the floor you were sitting on to the one above it just as the slide he was talking about connected the wood chip covered ground to the top level of the jungle gym. 

With the back of his head still leaning against the wall, Sam looked over at you, waiting to see if you remembered.

You remembered the slide and how you used to play under it years ago. You remembered what he did under the slide. In fact, you never forgot. But you were sure he had forgotten.

You turned your face towards his and replied with a casual “Yeah,” 

That was the first time you noticed Sam’s eyes. They were pretty and soft. They were a light brown color with specks of green and gold intertwined in them when the sunlight hit them. They had a darker rim of a chocolate brown around the outside too. And you had never noticed the unique shape of them before. The way they curved down on the outsides just a bit. The way the whites that showed underneath his pupils made them look bigger than an average person’s. And the way his left eyelid hung down just a little more than his right made his face off balanced in the perfect way.

He continued, “Do you remember…” his voice trailed off, “Actually nevermind, it’s stupid,” he said with a laugh as he moved his face back to look up at the staircase above you. 

“Remember what?” you replied.

He let out a small laugh through his nose before he spoke, “Remember that one time in Kindergarten, under the slide?”

He did remember. 

You raised your eyebrows, kind of giving him the impression that you didn’t remember. Even though you did. In fact, almost every time you saw him over the years, that’s the first thing that crossed your mind. 

He rubbed his hands on his chin before he spoke, almost like he was thinking of what to say.

“I…” he began hesitantly.

“Kissed me?” you interrupted softly.

“It was on the cheek,” he replied, almost as if he was defending himself.

“Still counts,” you said as you shrugged.

“Eh, not really,” he said, smiling back at you. 

In that moment, something took over you which you still have no explanation for. Maybe it was the weed. Maybe it was because you were alone with him and his eyes and his smile were the prettiest features you’d ever seen on a boy. And maybe it was because he had you thinking about that one time in kindergarten. But at that moment, something told you to ask him this question. 

Slowly, and quietly, you spoke, just above a whisper. 

“Have you ever kissed anyone, Sam? And I mean really kissed anyone.”

Instantly, his face dropped at your question and you watched his adams apple bobble as he sat up straighter and swallowed. 

He shook his head slowly. 

 “Do you want to?” 

His lips parted and subconsciously he traced his tongue along his bottom lip before nodding cautiously. You watched his eyes drop to your lips and then go back up to your eyes again. Oh he wanted to.

“Close your eyes, Sammy,” you whispered as you leaned in towards him and watched him shut his eyes hard and furrow his eyebrows in concentration.

Soft and slow, you kissed him. Just one kiss. He didn’t kiss back and you didn’t expect him to. But for the three seconds that your lips were on his, you felt your heart swell up in your chest and felt everything around you disappear. 

You broke away from him and opened your eyes to see his reaction. He kept his eyes closed for an extra second, holding onto the moment, before opening them to meet yours.

In that exact moment, you could’ve sworn you saw the entire world in his eyes. 

Sam averted his eyes from you and awkwardly took a small hit of the joint again, unsure of what to say. 

He kept his eyes to the floor as he held the joint out for you to grab and you nudged him in his side playfully to break the tension before taking the joint back, causing you both to start giggling. 

After a bit more smoking, you started to feel just good enough but not too far gone. Sam put the joint out gently and slid the remainder of it in his shirt pocket. 

Shortly after, your phone buzzed and you looked down to see a text from your mom that she was here to pick you up. “Detention” was over for the day.

“My mom’s here,” you explained as you put your stuff away and stood up, “I, uh, I gotta go. But it was nice… ya’ know, with you,” you said awkwardly, not really sure what to say to him. 

“Yeah,” he said as he followed you to stand up. He touched his face, fidgeting with his nose and his chin a lot. He did that when he was nervous you noticed.

He opened up the side pocket of his backpack and handed you a bottle of eye drops. You tilted your head back, let the drops fill your eyes, and handed the bottle back to him.

“Keep it,” he said, extending his hand out to your face and using his thumb to wipe the excess liquid which had fallen from your eyes onto your cheeks, “My parents are cool about it.”

You looked into his eyes for the last time that day. They were just a little bit bloodshot and puffy. But they were still as soft and sweet as ever.

You smiled, put the eye drops in your pocket, and headed for the exit. 

Just before you pushed the door to the outside world open, you turned back to him, standing there in the middle of the stairwell. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sam.”

“See ya,” he said as he gave you a quick wave and smile that he was fighting back. 

Chapter 2

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Okay, I have a request idea if thats okay. Could I please request a Dhawan!Master x reader where master has found a special plant/ flower or something which alters the perceptions of the person. (Say if an enemy uses it on the victim then the enemy becomes the victims friend (or even more) and they plan to use it on the reader and while it's working/ being used. The reader sees and feels a lavender haze on them and they want more of it. (I had to sneak in a Taylor swift reference)

I'm absolutely obssessed with this idea!! I leaned into the taylor swift reference you slipped in, hence the title lol. writing this was so much fun, I really hope you like it! <3

I feel a lavender haze creepin' up on me (Dhawan! Master x reader)

Warnings: drugging/altering ones brain chemistry via a lavender plant, I think that's about it

The Master was infatuated with you, even though he knew he shouldn't be. For starters, you were a companion to the Doctor, his best enemy; not to mention the fact that you despised him.

He tried to forget about you, but he just couldn't. Something about you seemed to draw him in and left him wanting more. And since you would never just up and leave the Doctor for him, he'd have to resort to other measures to get your attention.

Kidnapping you was an obvious first choice, but he didn't need you hating him more than you already did. While he'd love to just use his hypnosis on you and be done with it, the Doctor had gone to great lengths in order to protect your mind from his persuasions, so he'd have to take a more hands on approach.

He frantically flipped through one of the several books he owned on intergalactic flora, hoping he could find something to help. It was then he stumbled upon something that was akin to a lavender flower, except it could reverse the chemistry of one's brain and make them feel the opposite of what they'd initially felt for whoever gave them the plant.

A devious grin spread across his face as the wheels started to turn in his mind. This was exactly what he needed.

You, meanwhile, were strolling casually throughout a garden full of the exact same plant. The Doctor had to land the TARDIS for repairs, so she'd encouraged you to explore the nearby area while she got them done.

A shiver went down your spine as you suddenly got the feeling that you were being watched. Frowning, you turned and looked behind you but saw no one there. You figured it was just the wind or perhaps a local critter. Until you turned back around to find yourself face to face with none other than the Master himself.

"Oh, great. It's you," you grumbled while rolling your eyes. The Master tried not to appear upset, although he was clearly disappointed you had that kind of lackluster reaction to seeing him.

"Yes, it's me, indeed." He flashed you a bright, charming smile, which did nothing to get rid of the unimpressed look on your face.

"What do you want?" You asked bluntly in an irritated tone, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at him.

His ego deflated some, but he pushed down his feelings as he presented a lavender bouquet to you. "These are for you, my dear. Here, take them."

You glanced down at the bunch of plants, narrowing your eyes at them suspiciously. "Why? What're giving me these for?"

This was proving to be a tad bit more difficult than he thought. The Master was used to people falling for his charms instantly, but they just didn't seem to work on you.

"I'm giving them to you because a beautiful person deserves beautiful things," he said flirtatiously, doing his best to hide his desperation. He couldn't force you to take them from him: the plant's magical and scientific properties would only activate if you willingly accepted the offer.

You thought he looked a tad bit pathetic, in all honesty. It kind of made you feel bad for him. "If I take these, will you finally leave me alone?" You asked in an exasperated manner.

Eagering nodding his head, The Master grinned. "Of course, darling. Anything for you." It was hard to miss the way you rolled your eyes at him for a second time, but he wouldn't have to worry about your disinterest for much longer.

"Fine." You snatched the bouquet from him, and almost immediately after the power of the plant started to take affect. Your eyes became glazed over as you watched him, feelings blooming in your chest that you'd never felt before.

His eyes were such a gorgeous shade of brown, and with the way his lips looked, all you wanted to do was kiss him. "Wh- Whoa," you muttered to yourself as you deeply inhaled the intoxicating scent of the bouquet in front of you.

Forget seeing through rose colored glasses, right about now you were seeing through lavender lenses. A hazy feeling started to creep up over you as your vision dimmed.

"Are you alright, my dear?" He asked with slight concern, not anticipating the effects of the plant to act so quickly or be so strong.

"You're really amazing, did you know that?" Your voice was a tad bit slurred, almost as though you were tipsy from alcohol. In you opinion, being drunk on the love you felt for him was much better.

The Master beamed with pride as he reached out and took your hand in his, pulling you in close. "Of course I do. You're just as wonderful, might I add."

You let out a giddy laugh in response, your eyes having a purple tint to them on top of their now cloudy look. "We should do something together, just the two of us."

His entire face lit up with joy as he finally had to opportunity to spend time with you in a way that didn't involve you hurling insults at him nonstop. "My dear, I'd love nothing more."

He led you back to his TARDIS, filled with excitement over the idea of you finally wanting him just as much as he did you. It would be quite the surprise for the Doctor when she returned to find her companion had parted ways with her, too awestruck by the feeling of a lavender haze all around them to care.

end notes: I probably shouldn't enjoy writing fics involving the reader being drugged as much as I do lmao

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

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[tangerinelabyrinth]

"The Doctor didn't treat Martha badly at all."

Right, What's all this then.

After kissing her (Which meant nothing) shows up to where she is and asks her if she wants to take a trip in the Tardis only to yell at her that's she's not replacing Rose shortly after she agrees.

Dismissive about her concerns about her race and traveling to the past.

Weirdly casual about sharing a bed then talks about Rose and how she would know what to say to him and do in this situation.

Takes her to the same places he took Rose. (This one's complicated too me but it obviously hurt her feelings, so we are putting it in here)

 When Martha was just happy to see him because they had been separated and he was like, "You can kiss me later" or something along those lines. (But absolutely zero mixed signals there.)

Says he is going to leave and comes back and let's not mention Picks up her underwear in her apartment (like why)

TAKES HER BACK TO 1913 AND HAS HER TAKE CARE OF HIM WHILE HES HUMAN AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN WHO IS RACIST TO HER!!! THEN INVITES THE SAME WOMAN TO TRAVEL WITH THEM!!!! And all she gets is a thanks.

Gets them stuck in 1969 and has her work in a shop to support him.

Finished explaining the perception filter and then ran back to add "It's like when you fancy someone, and they don't even know you exist."

Hinted at that he gets her the job at UNIT only to be upset when she works at UNIT. (This reasonably could be because she ended up more like a solider than he wanted but still)

It goes without saying that while all of this is happening, Martha continues to hustle through every episode she is in and saves not only The Doctor but the entire world! The Doctor is 100 percent fine with not reciprocating her feelings and is perfectly fine to still not be over Rose. That isn't the issue here; the problem is that he just treats Martha like she's nothing and it's a burden to travel with her (even though he asked her to travel with him and had multiple opportunities to leave if he wanted) after she constantly proves herself and saves him multiple times. Its infuriating to me and it makes me more upset when people don’t see how much differently she is treated than Rose and Donna and paint Martha as this aggressor who also plays a role and is responsible for how he treated her when that's not the case at all. I understand that a large part of Martha's story was that The Doctor didn't see her but why? And why is this used almost as an excuse for his behavior? 

I could more in depth, but I don't think I have the right words to properly articulate and describe all my feelings, but this is what I got.

[shuamorollss]

on the court — basketball player!nrk x fem!reader

You only wanted to support your older brother, Jake on his basketball game. Even how smoothly their game was going, you didn't expect that you'd be the reason why a few points have costed your brother's team. Not entirely your fault, of course.

fluff, romance, comedy, humor, warnings— not proofread/errors ahead, Ni-ki and Y/N share the same age, Y/N can drive a car, half-assed ending kinda... I tried my best, 2.3k wc + reblogs are greatly appreciated!

additional notes— Italicized parts means flashbacks , used the K-12 school system in this fic... to avoid confusion, Jake is a 6th year student (Senior high) which is he's along in the age of 20 yrs old and both Y/N and Riki are in their 4th year (Junior high) which makes them both 18 yrs old! , reader's brother was originally Heeseung so please point it out for me in my inbox if Heeseung's name is still mentioned here TT I might've missed a part , author's note at the end.

You could sense the bright contrast in between your closed eyes. Slowly going back to your full consciousness, you open your eyes. Widening the gap of your lids, everything was bright and rather blurry. You could feel yourself laying on a soft mattress. The room was white, though a figure of your current vision paved the way of the brightness. Your eyes immediately met with the dark figure just beside you, sitting. You wondered if it was Keeho, however, from what you remembered, he didn't look like that, nor dressed like that earlier.

As your vision becomes clearer, it was to your dismay that it really wasn't your friend beside you.

Someone who had short hair, subtle blonde streaks, and his face structure was sharp. He was wearing casual clothes now. Not the fit you remembered him wearing when you last lay your vision on him.

His brows rose in surprise as he had met his gaze with yours.

"You're awake!" he exclaimed.

You don't know who he was.

He was a stranger. A man, just someone whom you have never met. So how did you get yourself here, waking up from unconsciousness with an unfamiliar worried man beside you in the first place?

…

Your hands control the wheels as you try to drive hastily. Your friends were counting on you to get to the sports center in time, with numerous phone calls from Sieun, adding the endless vibrating from your phone already makes you feel the pressure. You didn't let yourself drown in your own thoughts. All you wanted was to get there in time and have enough space to get seats.

"Yn?!"

"Took you long enough."

You have finally met with Keeho and Sieun outside the stadium, both of them having their arms crossed, frustrated by your late entry.

"Sorry guys. Traffic." You gently rub your nape, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Traffic my ass." Sieun said, who started to make her way inside the stadium. Both you and Keeho followed along her steps as she rants about your tardiness. You didn't mind, you were used to Sieun complaining like this and instead of being irritated, and besides, she doesn't seem to take her rants about things like these that seriously.

All of you went into the inner stadium to see hundreds of people crowding inside, attempting to spot places to sit.

"Sieun calm down, besides we have seats now." Keeho assured. The seats you three in were beside the court. Like literally beside the court. You could see all the athletes clearly just a distance from you, preparing for the game.

"What a jackpot. Surprising for a really crowded stadium… This should've been occupied by now." Sieun stated, her frustrations on where to sit have now faded, now that the best seats are now taken by them.

After a good minute of prepping yourselves, you saw a man's figure on the court jogging towards your direction, and to all of your excitement, It was your brother.

"Jake!" You all greeted him in unison, eyes sparkling at the sight of the man making his way towards where you guys stand.

"You all should thank me for that." He spoke, patting his sweaty forehead with a face towel.

"Look at our Jake! The captain of the Decelis basketball team." Sieun stated, nudging the side of Jake's arms.

"We know you'll do good out there dude!" Keeho added.

"The opponent stands no chance against y'all." You added once more, your hand messing his hair.

"Now I'm more encouraged to beat their asses." Jake remarked, extremely appreciative by the boost from his little sister and his dear friends.

The three of you continue to show him your full support as he waves goodbye, jogging back to his teammates.

The Stadium was filled with people, all of the seats were occupied and the continuous echoes filling the stadium made you hyped. The two schools that are competing are none other than two of the most prestigious schools in your country, and given to you that this is the semifinals means there's more to it after this one.

And you wanted to see your school compete once more in the Grand Finals.

The game started and you cheered for Jake and his team. They were doing good, you were having a positive thought on this game however you'd already expect the other team to hog scores a few minutes into the match. Being that this is the semifinals, competition would be difficult.

You spent the whole game just yelling and cheering at any given time, to the point that you finally felt the sting on your throat, causing your voice to rasp and unable to reach your voice at a high volume. So instead of forcing your voice to yell, you just sat and watched the game quietly.

As you watch everyone, your eyes went from anyone else on your brother's team to only a certain teammate of his.

He was cute, even better at playing than Jake in your opinion.

His hair was elegant, even if he's sweaty, his hair looked like it's been newly washed, in basic terms, fresh even. His eyes were sinister yet looked so adorable.

Your eyes were locked onto his figure, and when he shot the ball you quickly stood up, screaming "Yeah!" with your distorted voice, not even considering your current sore throat.

Sieun and Keeho were too focused to notice that you started cheering for one player only. After all, their support was on the whole decelis basketball team, so they wouldn't send suspicious glances on your way.

After a few more rounds, with Decelis leading, an unexpected circumstance may have cost a few points off of Decelis.

And you weren't expecting that you would partly be the reason why.

You were just about to get your phone

As another Decelis member makes his way on the court, he stops just a few steps in front of you. Your eyes gazing at the man then back to the one you seem to have all the attention on, passing the ball to the guy in front of you.

You saw the ball getting tossed to the player in front of you, yet suddenly he dodges. You on the other hand, was unable to move at the exact time you see the ball going directly to you.

…

"So… that's what happened...?" You raised a brow. Sitting comfortably on the infirmary bed as you were just all ears on the whole story you got here.

The other nods guiltily, having his head lowered as he does so. Stealing glances on your way.

Your memories slowly gathered in your head, and the last thing you realized is that this was the man you had all your attention to earlier during the game.

Your mind sets elsewhere other than the worrisome point of the whole predicament, you were giggling in your conscience that this was destined to happen… Of course, you had delusions get the best of you, though you were still able to show a calm and collected demeanor.

"I'm so sorry by the way, I didn't mean to," He took a deep breath, "I was surprised when Yeonjun dodged it. I didn't even know I passed it really hard."

He now had the courage to look at your state. His eyes correspond to a frightened puppy and you were not gonna lie that it was adorable to see him feel so disappointed in himself for a minor ruckus.

You didn't even have a bruise or a black eye, you just had a mild concussion, laying unconscious until you finally opened your eyes returning you to your normal state.

But if you were in his shoes, you'd totally feel the same as him now.

"I'm so sorry, I had to insist of backing out from the game in the meantime to look after you,"

"Jake was supposed to be the one here but I insisted on staying since I'm the one who you know…" He hit his hand as it was gestured to a C. You perked up your lips at his demonstration, also finding his constant apologies quite adorable.

He really did regret it a lot, though you didn't mind.

"Hey, it's fine. I don't think it's that serious. "You reassured, the other only gazed at you intently.

"You don't have to worry about it, I'm perfectly fine… But besides that now, I haven't seen you before," Riki's eyebrow rose, not expecting those words.

"Maybe because I barely visit my brother's practices but I swear when I do, I never see you practicing with them."

"Oh, I must've not been in them… Sometimes I don't attend practices for reasons, so maybe you came to watch when I wasn't in them? Just maybe." He gushed, you only sat to hear more of his stories… You slowly faw over his presence as he talks about his likes, dislikes, favorite places, and basketball stories all in a span of 10 minutes. You couldn't imagine if Jake was the one to look over you instead, he'd probably make fun of you while you were unconscious or so.

Well, Jake isn't actually like that, you were just thankful to have him give in and prioritize winning for his team rather than looking after you and costing them a few more points. Which led him to look after you…

Who's… him?

Your eyes widen to the man talking in front of you, unaware of his name during the whole conversation. How can both of you be this dunce at the same time.

As you were about to ask for his name, he stood up. "I better head back to the game, since you're feeling much better now,"

You only nodded in response.

"I'll tell Jake his girlfriend is doing okay!"

Hold up— What?

You winced confusingly at the words that left his mouth. He's getting the wrong idea.

As his figure fades any further you yelled a "wait!" On his way, the boy frighteningly stopped his tracks, facing you once more.

"Let me introduce myself…" You spoke up, a mere suggestion for him to do the same as well.

"O-Oh… OH!— I'm sorry, I think I introduced myself when you were still unconscious on that bed… I'm Nishimura Riki! I'm in my 4th year."

"Oh… I'm also a 4th year student."

Riki subconsciously tilt his head, as if he's questioning so much just by the similar years you two are in.

"I didn't know Jake likes girls way below his age."

You winced once more. This was a gross assumption, you couldn't imagine being in this type of situation yet you're here now.

"I'm Y/N," You paused for absolutely no reason, probably for the effect.

"I'm Jake's sister."

Riki's heart sank, immediately having countless daggers of embarrassment stabbed him way through all of his body. He couldn't imagine this was happening, he genuinely thought that you were dating their captain. When he saw you and two other people going through a tough crowd in order to get into the three vacant seats so close to the court, he thought you were one of the prettiest among the crowds. It was silly of him to think that to a random girl of course, though having your presence made him more competitive and encouraged him to do his best in order for you to see him shine (and indirectly impress you).

He did feel quite disappointed when their team captain, Sim Jaeyun, ran towards you and you began ruffling his hair so cutely. Losing his hope and backing out on his interest to you since he didn't wanna meddle in relationships he shouldn't be in, also he doesn't like when their captain gets angry, and common knowledge is that homewrecking is absolutely bad.

Tracing his thoughts back to reality, his face slowly turned tinted red, flustered at the utter embarrassing assumption that he held with himself for the whole time he looked after you.

"I… I am.. I'm- I'm so sorry!" He freaked out.

"I didn't know, so I assumed you two— Why did I even assume that you two were a thing?! "

"Why did you?" You questioned calmly, a cheeky smile plastered on your face, cutting off his freaking out state.

"I-It's just I saw… you teasing Jake earlier, like messing his hair and all— so yeah, you were doing that before the match started and I just thought there was a romantic kick to it, you know?"

"And you looked at our way because…?"

"I looked to your way because you were the most prettiest girl I have ever seen and I kept my eyes on you for the remainder of the time you and your friends were reaching to the vacant seats near the court, that I also assumed that Jake saved for you and your friends…" The man inhaled deeply as he said all of that in one breath.

You could only widen your eyes at his confession, subconsciously perking the edges of your lips at how adorable he is when he's this flustered.

"I'm sorry I think I said too much—"

"No no, don't be… I think that's really sweet of you." You held your screams of triumph in, wanting to stay calm and collected.

"Since you said that, I'll just say that you also caught my attention while you were on the court,"

You paused, your heart picking up an intense pace, your eyes locking to his.

"I'm kinda glad I got you to look after me rather than my annoying brother." You joked, rolling your eyes at the mention of your brother.

"Hey, your brother was actually really worried when you got… you know."

"I knew he would be."

You both exchanged warm smiles, repeatingly nodding your head's at each silent thought.

"You should probably go back now, they need you there."

"Oh right! Are you gonna go back… also?"

"I will, I won't miss you owning that court...

Just like earlier. "

Riki's smile widens, more encouraged than ever to go back to the game and show you what he can really do.

"I'll look for you after the game, I promise."

author's note— I'm back from my hiatus!! kinda, i think?? I have a few more wips that I'm working on so i may be able to upload them in a few days or weeks! I rlly miss tumblr and writing pls pls pls bear w me w this one... I'm just trying to get my vocab juice going after a long time of writers block 😭 anw i hope u enjoy!!

perm tags— @jangwonie @jungwonize @luhvlyuna @w3bqrl @ineedaherosavemeenow @leaderwon

© seungiepup. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[fxlling13]

Rule Breaker

Synopsis: the doctor can't tolerate the way you think, but maybe someone else can.

Dh!master x fem reader

Wc: 5.8k

Warnings: mentions of death, abuse, assault. Implied smut but no description. The doctor is a little mean. Violence, weapons usual master stuff.

Honestly, I was inspired by wolf to write this. (Jack definitely should of left matilda on the roof after killing him.)

(Y/n) pov

"Doctor he deserved to die!"

"No he did not!" We had been fighting for ten minutes. Standing in the clearing of a forest on earth, we had just witnessed a mans death. Not an innocent man. No, no. This man was clearly abusing his wife. So, when she picked up the gun, who was I to stop her? He deserved it.

"Have you ever heard the saying 'an eye for an eye, a leg for a leg.'? Maybe you should research it!" Scoffing at me, the doctor folded her arms. The wife had been escorted away by yaz, leaving us and their cabin abandoned.

"Yes I have. And it's utterly pointless. Noone deserves to die."

"He was a monster!"

"That's not for us to decide!" She screamed, stepping forward. I took a deep breath and rubbed my face.

"Doctor, he would have killed his wife. She had enough, good for her. Its exactly what he deserved." I saw her eye twitch at my statement. Shaking her head, the doctor began to walk away.

"I'm going back to the tardis. You do whatever makes you happy." With that, the doc stormed off, leaving me in the clearing. Groaning, I turned round to find the body of the man we were arguing about. I tilted my head, kicking his side with my boot.

"Disgusting. If the doctor wasn't here I'd have killed you myself." Thinking out loud, I stared down at the body with distaste. He looked like a creep, even in death. Now, he'd never see the light of day again. And that filled me with joy.

"I could have stabbed you, in the house. I had the chance. Stupid doctor. Stupid rules." With a pout, I gripped his face with my nails.

"Pity, I'd have liked to see you scared." Suddenly, a snapping sounded behind me.

"Now, that would have been a pretty sight." Eyes shifting upwards, I stood slowly and turned to see the master, leaning against a tree. Which, very obviously, was not there before.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not scared in the slightest. In fact, deep down, I was happy to see him.

"I'm here to check on my favourite human of course." Tucking his hands into the pockets of his plaid pants, the master strolled over casually. Gazing down at the corpse, he tut.

"She had good aim. Right in the temple." He tapped the side of my head twice, I suppressed my smile with great difficulty.

"You're right, especially since she was malnourished and dehydrated." Humming in agreement, the master turned his attention on me fully. I almost blushed at the close proximity.

"That was a pretty intense argument you were having there. I love to see the doctor so worked up." He cackled, sucking in a slight breath.

"I was just trying to say, he got what he deserved." I explained, not thinking much about it. Quickly, the master bobbed his head.

"Oh you're absolutely right. Dirty, dirty man. Deserves to be in the ground." Wetting my lips, I cocked my head aside, making eye contact with the alien.

"Why would you care about how he was treating his wife?" In response, the master scoffed, stepping closer.

"I dont. I care about the way he was looking at you. How he spoke to you. The way he tried to touch you." My lips parted in shock. Noone had noticed his gaze, or his comments towards me. They especially didn't notice his wondering hand. The doctor had been with yaz, not listening to my complaints.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, too confused to fully voice my thoughts.

"All day. I have to make sure she's looking after you." He pursed his lips, wandering around a little. Feeling touched by his words, I watched him closely.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Why? I'm just another companion. You hate us."

"Not you. You are fantastic." He boasted, grinning at me. Feeling myself blush  I went closer to him.

"I think, you're too good for her." Cupping my cheeks, I leant into his touch naturally.

''We would make, such a good team. Together. You and me. Imagine it." And, I definitely could. Each time we met, I felt so connected to the renegade timelord. His hatred for the doctor never bothered me. In fact, I understood it.

"But, you wouldn't want that."

"I do." Taken aback by my boldness, the master stepped back.

" I agree, we'd be a good team. I don't want to be with the doctor. It's wearing me down. I can only take so much berating." I laughed to myself bitterly, thinking back over the past few weeks. As much as I hated to admit it, our arguments were becoming more common and the blonde ignored me most days. Sensing my sadness, the master grew angry.

"Stupid woman, making you upset. I can treat you so much better. Let me prove it."

"How?" Smirking, the master took my hands and started walking backwards towards that tree.

"You know she'll come back for you in a few minutes. Let me take you with me, I can show you what it's like to have a real adventure." Following his steps, I bit my lip in excitement. He continued, smiling at me manically.

"I'll have you back in five minutes, she'll never know." The master pushed open his tardis (the tree) doors, before leaning in closer and whispering.

"It can be our little secret." His breath tickled my ear, causing me to shiver and smile lightly. Keeping my hand in his, the master pulled me into his ship, letting the doors close behind me. His tardis was very different from the doctors. Oddly, it was more cosy. In the center, obviously sat the console. Made of a dark metal with dark red accents on each control. There was a few steps up to it with a railing around it all, sectioning it off. Off to the side, there was two Chesterfield armchairs shaded burgundy. Between them sat a table stacked with books. The room was lit dimly with a warm lighting, in fact, the whole room felt warm. There was stairs leading off to different corridors and floors. Plus, it was much cleaner. I walked up the iron steps and next to the master.

"I like your tardis." He grinned proudly, flicking with the controls skillfully. We were in flight, I could tell. But I didn't even notice him taking off. Usually, when with the doctor, you ended up falling over every three seconds.

"Its nice isn't it?"

"Yes very cosy." I replied, looking around again. There was beams across the ceiling which made me think.

"You could string fairy lights across those. Drape them. It would look pretty." As I lowered my line of sight, I found the master looking at me with an unreadable expression. Taking it that he wasn't impressed, I just giggled and walked around the console.

"Right then!" The master jumped next to me, beaming.

"Let me show you how it's done."

-------------☆

With a flourish, the master swung open his tardis doors. On the other side, was a throne room. The floor was a peachy marble, with a grey streak running through. The walls were laced with artworks, definitely alien. In the center, sat a throne. Made of what looked to be gold.

"Welcome to. Galactica three. Boring name, I know. There's actually twenty seven. Anyway- it's the third royal space station in its universe." The master placed a hand on the small of my back and lead me out into said Station. I looked around with interest.

"Currently only the Queen and a few guards are on bored." He told me, walking out onto a long, less luxurious looking, corridor. In fact, now I could tell this was just a space station.

"What are we doing here master?" I asked, following him blindly. I trusted him enough to do this, unlike the doctor.

"I'm going to show you what it's like to be treated right."

Currently, I stood beside the master. The Queen was in ropes, tied to a chair. One last guard was by her side, shaking pathetically.

"Why is he trembling?" With a sigh, the master looking at me.

"I dont know, dear. Silly isn't it?" I nod, looking down as the master placed something in my hand. It was his TCE.

"Kill him. He's annoying me." Without question, I shot at the guard, compressing him. The queen screamed for help and the master quickly clamped his hands over my ears.

"Gosh you're loud. There's no need for any of that." He feigned innocence, letting go and patting my hair straight. Slowly, he stepped over to the Queen and bent down to her level. As he reached out a hand, she let out another ear peircing scream. I winced, making eye contact with the master who then sighed in annoyance.

"Shh." He pressed a finger to his lips but she didn't stop. Sucking on his teeth, the make reached inside his jacket and pulled out a white, gun looking, object. It had a place for all four fingers and what looked to be a trigger where his thumb now sat. The master pressed the barrel to the queen's head, effectively shutting her up.

"There we go. Easy right?" She nod quickly.

"What do you want? Money? I can give you money!" He just laughed at her cries, turning and beckoning me over. I went to his side, allowing him to pull me down.

"This lovely lady right here is responsible for the deaths of everyone on galactica seven." As he spoke, the queen's blue skin paled. Her eyes were like sorcers.

"Quite impressive honestly, seventy-five thousand innocent lives. I should clap. But you're not worth my energy." The gun was still pressed to her head, her form shaking.

Her eyes landed on me, desperation clear.

"Miss please! You'll help me right? You can stop him right?" Her voice trembled in fear, eyes building with tears. Sharing another look with the master, he raised his eyebrows, wondering what I would do. Giving the queen a kind smile, I scooted closer.

"Yes, of course." Holding my hand out, she grasped onto it hopefully.

"Really?" Seeing how she truly believed me, I let out a laugh and pushed her back harshly, causing the chair the fall back.

"No you idiot. Why would I help you?" Seeing the spark drain from her face, I grinned and let the master help me to my feet.

"See, such a good team." He winked, walking over to finish his job.

"Gold? Silver? Bronze? Or how about-" The master opened a glass casing inside the throne room and pulled out a necklace. I smiled, letting him stand before me to show me the peice. On a gold chain, there was a cluster of star pendants hanging from it. Made from an opal like jewel, the master clasped it around my neck.

"Beautiful." My face grew hot, even if he was only talking about the jewellery.

"I told you I was more fun than the doctor. I bet she never got you anything." Giggling, I nod and touched the necklace.

"No never." He smiled, collecting a few more treasures from the glass casing.

"I'll take you back where I found you." My heart dropped a little hearing this. I forgot I'd have to go back to the doctor.

"Hey don't look so sad, love." Gently, the master tilted my chin up and stroked my cheek.

"I'll come back for you. We just have to keep up appearances." Before he could pull away, I grabbed his hand.

"Promise?" Sighing, the master linked our fingers together and simpered.

"I promise."

-------------------------------------☆

It became a regular thing, for me to sneak off with the master during my outing with the doctor. We didn't tend to fly off. Usually I'd help him make the situation far worse and more difficult for the doctor to resolve. It was really fun. But this time, the master wasn't here. I knew he'd be busy this time but it was really dragging. To make it worse, we were stuck in what seemed to be the inside of a volcano. An alien volcano. It was beyond hot, we were all covered in soot. All in all, not fun. I watched the doctor, who was dangerously close to the edge of a giant lava lake, being cornered by the general. Basically, a ship had crashed here and he had been killing off his crew one by one. And it looked as though the doctor was next. I could tell yaz was scared, not wanting the blonde to get hurt. As usual, she was giving some sort of speech. It was obviously doing nothing. Rolling my eyes, I ran forward and shoved the general whilst he was distracted. He fell head first into the lava and I smiled in relief.

"(Y/n)! What the hell did you just do?" The doctor yelled, storming over.

"Saving your life. You're welcome." Angrily, she gripped my wrist and dragged me back into the tardis, yaz scampering behind. After she sent the other girl to clean up, the doctor turned to me.

"What gives you the right to kill someone?" I closed my eyes, not having the energy for an argument. I was tired, hot, dirty and extremely hungry.

"The fact he was a murderer and the fact if I didn't do that, you'd be in the lava. Not him." I tried to get my point through but she shook her head violently.

"I was working on it."

"But it wasn't working! Doctor, you cant just talk your way out of every life and death situation! Sometimes you have to take action!" The doctor took a step forward so she was right in my face, her fists were balled up tightly.

"No! I won't allow you to kill!" Flinching at her harsh tone, I looked to the side.

"I dont have to follow everything you say doctor. You're not always right." My voice was far calmer than I was feeling. In fact, I felt light headed. Scoffing a laugh, the doctor leant against the console and nod to herself.

"You are the worst person who I have ever chosen to travel with. I should have left you in the volcano." Her words stung, my eyes following as she left the console room. This is when I realised how much I missed the master. He would never yell at me. If he was here, he'd give her hell. Swallowing thickly, I made my way down to my room and locked the door. Resting my head on the door, I took a shakey breath, trying to supress my tears. It was a weak attempt. I pushed away and turned around, going to my wardrobe. Wait. Quickly, I realised I now had two wardrobes. Praying that my thoughts were right, I immediately relaxed when one of the doors opened and the master popped out. Originally smiling, his face fell upon seeing me.

"(Y/n)? What's wrong?" My lip trembled, making him act quickly and rush to my side. I instantly fell into his chest, arms gripping the back of his jacket tightly. In turn, he held me against him firmly.

"Hey, its alright." He spoke softly but I shook my head, alerting him more. I cried quietly, basking in his warmth for as long as he'd let me.

"Do you want to come with me?" Nodding quickly, I let him bring me inside his tardis. Sadly, he let go to pilot the ship. Sniffling, I looked around and found myself smiling.

"Fairy lights..." the master looked at me, hearing me speak. And, after a second, he was by my side again. Whilst I'd been gone, he had wrapped fairy lights around the beams.

"You like them?" Nodding, I focused on him again.

"You listened to me? You put them up because-"

"Because you like them." He cut me off, taking me over to the comfy chairs. Letting me sit first, I didn't like the distance but chose not to comment.

"What happened (y/n)?" Looking down, I played with my fingers roughly, not wanting him to see me as weak.

"She got mad, because I killed someone." I told him, cursing my voice for not being stable. Tilting his head, the master sat forward.

"Who did you kill?"

"He was a general, he was going to kill her. So I just pushed him." Struggling to peice everything together, he cast his eyes over me.

"Were you in a fire?" He asked, noticing the soot and Ash finally.

"No, a volcano."

"Right. And when you say pushed?" He urged me to carry on, we made eye contact.

"I pushed him into the lava." The master smiled proudly before shaking himself out of it to focus on the issue at hand.

"So the doctor got high and mighty over the fact you saved her life? Let me guess, she was giving a speech?" She really was that predictable. Bobbing my head yes, he sighed and frowned.

"How angry was she?"

"She said I was the worst companion she's ever had. And that she should have left me in the volcano." I told him nervously, welling up at the thought. After not getting a response, I looked up and was the master was seething. I'd never seen that expression on his face before.

"Master-"

"Are you hurt?" He cut in again, his eyes almost shook. This time, I didn't reply. Blinking back my tears.

"Are you mad at me?" Quickly, he got up and kneeled in front of me. Pulling out a handkerchief from his pocket, the master wiped my face clean.

"No sweets. I'm not mad at you. Not at all." His voice was gentle, moving to sit on the arm of the chair.

"I'm not hurt."

"Good. Because if she ever gets you hurt, I'm not holding back." For a moment, we stared at each other. Until, he cleared his throat.

"Go clean up, I'll wait here ok?" Nodding, I head off to the ships bathroom to shower off all the soot.

The tardis had left me some comfy clothes to change into, thankfully. So, after my shower, I head back to the console room. The master had discarded of his jacket. Leaving him in his waistcoat and shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. Seeing me, he came over and took my hand, pulling me along a corridor.

"Where are we going?" We stopped in front of a door before he opened it and stepped in. It seemed to be some sort of living area. A fireplace was roaring at an inviting temperature, with a large sofa in front. Many blankets were piled in a basket off to the side and bookshelves lined the walls. Sitting me on the couch, the master held up a finger before disappearing then coming back with food. For a while, we sat their talking whilst I ate contently. He even cleared up after I was done.

"You're being very nice to me." I giggled, scooting a little closer to him. He grinned, draping his arm around my shoulders.

"Its only what you deserve, love." Blushing, I turned to look at the fire, thinking. Maybe he saw the change in my thoughts because he was quick to question me.

"What's wrong?"

"Just, the things you call me. The way you treat me." I spoke quietly, picking at the fibers in the couch. Concerned, the master turned his body to face mine.

"You don't like it?" Glancing at the male, I smiled seeing his almost pouty face. Never did I think I'd see someone like him, so open and natural. Twisting myself to also face him, I inched forward.

"No, I love it. It makes me very happy." Instantly, he relaxed and went back to his usual simper.

"Good, that's my aim." Resting my head against his arm, I stared up at him curiously.

"Why?"

"Why what?" The master brought his other hand up, gently moving the damp hair off of my face.

"Why do you care so much?" Chuckling at my question, he tilted his head.

"You're smart (y/n). You must know." When I just sat there, looking at him, he shook his head playfully.

"I already said, you're my favourite human."

Smiling, I blushed again and looked down to avoid eyecontact.

"I hope I'm your favourite alien?" Pretending to think about it, I couldn't help but laugh at his astonished face.

"Of course you are." Sitting straight, I really just how close we were and froze slight. The master smirked lightly, placing a hand on my hip. Tension hung in the air, so thick you could probably cut it. Though, it wasn't unpleasant. My heart was beating rapidly and I couldn't stop my eyes wondering to his lips.

"When I said, you're my favourite human." Bringing my attention back, I gazed at him as he spoke. The hand that was once resting on the couch, was suddenly on my back, drawing me in closer.

"That's my way of saying, I really want you to be mine." My eyes widened, not expecting to hear that. I searched his face for any sign if a lie but found nothing.

"You're serious?"

"More serious than anything." The master uttered, cupping my cheek tentivley. I couldn't stop the smile spreading on my face and that seemed to make him happy. Before I could comprehend, I realised he was leaning in. His lips pressed against mine, far softer than I'd ever imagined. Of course, I kissed back, arms coming to wrap around his neck. The master hooked his hands under my arms and pulled me onto his lap. Taking a second to catch my breath, I nuzzled into his shoulder.

"Been waiting to do that since I first saw you." He admitted with a chuckle, knuckles brushing against my leg soothingly.

"Really? Me too. You should have told me sooner." He hummed, kissing the top of my head.

"I dont think the doctor would have appreciated that." Hearing her name, I rolled my eyes and sat up slightly. My hands pressed to his chest, holding myself up.

"I really do not care of what she thinks." The corner of his lips turned up, happy at what I had said.

"I'm glad to hear that, love." I leant forward, reconnecting our lips. The master kisser back, deeper than before. His hands held my waist firmly, stopping me from going anywhere. Not that I would ever want to.

-------------------------------------☆

Draping a blanket over us, the master lay back down behind me, arm hanging over my waist. I shimmied back into his hold, basking in his warmth. Staring at the fire, I thought back to the doctor. How I'd have to go back soon enough. Back to being ignored or ordered around. I really didn't want to do that again. I only felt safe and wanted here, with him. Lightly, the master pressed his lips to my bare shoulder before tucking his head into my neck.

"What's on your mind?" Lacing our fingers together, I hugged his arm close to my chest and sighed.

"I really don't want to go back. I can't do it anymore." The fire crackled, letting off its warmth just enough to be comforting.

"I know I can't, but I just want to stay with you." Being honest with him, I let out a noise of complaint as the master got up.

"I'll be one minute, my love." Whilst he left, I sat up, keeping the covers up and secure around my chest. Just to be decent. Not that it mattered.

"Here." Once reappearing, the master sat by my side, under the blanket. From his hand, I took a white, folded leaflet.

"A carnival?"

"That's what it looks like, right? But, in actuality, its deadly!" Giggling at his exaggeration, I leant back against his chest.

"You give this to the doctor, tell her you want to go there. Then hell breaks loose. You can come help me then I'll set it up to look like you need help, when we'll actually be trapping her. And yaz too. Then you can come with me." Liking his idea, I nod and looked through the leaflet. On the inside, there was a picture of a weird looking clown. Disgusting.

"I'm guessing these clowns aren't actually clowns?" I asked, looking up at the timelord. He smiled, sliding his hands around my waist.

"Actually they are. Killer clowns though. A species that just so happens to look like a human depiction of that very thing." I shivered, not liking the sound of that.

"You know, I really don't like clowns." Putting the leaflet aside, the master lay back and pulled me onto his chest.

"You'll be safe with me, I won't let anything hurt you." Feeling reassured by his words, I smiled.

"You know, I thought you were suggesting that as a first date for a second." Scoffing at the thought, he brought my hand up and kissed it lovingly.

"I think you'll find we had a first date. Killing the queen? Because you're the only queen I need." I shoved him playfully, laughing at his silly flirting. Either way, I couldn't wait.

-------------------------------------☆

"Where did you find this?" The doctor asked, scanning through the leaflet with interest.

"In the library. Can we go? It looks fun." Putting on my best acting, she seemed convinced and punched in the coordinates. It amazed me, after the way she spoke to me, still no apology. She just seemed it under the rug. I wouldn't have to deal with it much longer.

At first, the carnival was actually fun. There were many stalls selling weird looking stuffed animals and sweet treats. Plus, an array of rides and attractions. As we made our way into the main tent, I looked around in search of the master. He hadn't shown up yet, not that I was worried. I had faith in him. Sitting in our seats, the lights went dim and out came the ring master, quite literally. Instantly, the two women beside me tensed up.

"Is that?" Yaz started, moving closer to the doctor. Maybe out of fear, stupid really.

"Yes. What is he doing here?" the doctor glared down at the master, watching as he began to entertain the guests. Everything was going to plan. In a few minutes, all hell would break loose.

"Are we enjoying the show?" He called out, letting the crowd cheer. Walking to the centre of the ring.

"What do we do?" Yaz asked, practically on the edge of her seat.

"We see what he does, make sure to stop him in time." Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I nod along with the doc. It didn't take long for the sun to go down and each individual clown to suddenly just stop. Sensing something bad would happen, the doctor stood up and cast her eyes around. Slowly, their fangs grew, eyes fading to red and skin cracking in a disturbing manner. Honestly, it was pretty creepy.

"What are they?" I asked, feigning my innocence well.

"I have no idea." We watched as one clown sluggishly walked to an audience member. It stood there for a second, twitching, beforehand grabbing the woman and biting a chunk out of her neck ruthlessly. Even I flinched back at this.

"Everyone, run!" The doctor yelled as everyone began to scream and scrable away. Suppressing my smile, I followed after the doc and yaz as they took off below ground. Probably in search of the master, wherever he was.

"We have got to find him." The doctor was using her sonic to scan the area as we trailed behind. Yaz was quick to hop in and stsrt concocting a plan to stop him. All if a sudden, my wrist was grabbed and I was pulled to the side. I didn't scream, knowing who it was even by the smallest touch. Looking up, I smiled widely seeing the master in his circus outfit. It even had a red suit jacket. Hugging onto him, he chuckled and stumbled back on surprise.

"Miss me?"

"Of course I did." He hugged me back before taking me away from the corridor near the doctor.

"How was I?" Giggling at his need of my opinion, i kissed his cheek.

"Perfect. You really sold the show." The master grinned at me, going into his tsrdis with me.

"Now then, it's all set up. I've made it look as though you were taken." He told me, pointing things out on his monitor. It showed a room which, on the surface looked normal. However we would use it to trap them so I could leave with the master in peace. Hugging him from behind I pressed my cheek to his shoulder.

"But I was taken." Laughing at my statement, the master turned, bring me into his hold firmly.

"Yes but I don't hear any complaining. I can't help that you find me so irresistible." I smiled as he leant down to peck my lips repeatedly.

"Should we put everything in motion love?"

-------------------------------------☆

Soon enough, the doctor realised I had disappeared and alerted yaz. Together they searched every room for something. Eventually, the doc picked up a signal on her sonic and followed it. Just like we planned. Seeing that they were close, I got into position.

"She should be in here!" Quickly, I closed my eyes just as they entered. I was sat against the wall, head limp with my eyes shut. It looked as if I had been thrown there.

"Oh (y/n). What did he do to you?" Whilst the doctor made her way to me, the master snook out if his hiding spot and behind yaz. Placing his fingers on her temple, she was out light a light. He dropped her down, not so gently, making the doctor turn at the sudden noise.

"Hello doctor." The master smiled menacingly, waving his fingers for effect.

"What did you do to her?!" Immediately I was forgotten about, the doctor rushing to yazs' side to check she was okay. Rolling his eyes, the master stepped over her body and stood behind them.

"She's just asleep. Relax." Not finding the situation funny, the doctor stood up and faced him head on.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, anger clear on her face. Standing straight, the male made sure to hold eye contact.

"I'm simply taking what's mine." The doctor shook her head at him.

"What? You're here to get something someone stole from you?"

"No, not stole. Withheld would be the correct word." Before she could respond, he pulled out a small circular device and fired at the doctor. Within less than a second, cuffs were bounding her hands. She stumbled back onto the floor with a sharp grunt.

"Sorry dear, that might bruise." The master laughed, watching her struggle. Deciding to open my eyes slowly, I peered over to the pair of alien's. Shifting slightly, the doctor caught sight of this but pretended not to notice. The master was rambling about how there was noone to come and help her. How she was stuck here alone.

"Oh really? Because I don't agree." She smiled cockily, clearly thinking I was going to help. Raising his brows, the man scratched at his chin.

"Because I think, maybe you didn't hit her hard enough." Now confused, the master paused.

"What?" The doctor turned her head to me but I didn't move, just looked back with a neutral expression. Following her line of sight, the masters eyes landed on me.

"Oh I see." He muttered, slowly walking over and standing in front of me. The doctor watched eagerly, waiting for me to do something. In a threatening way, the master pulled out a pocket knife and carefully bent to my level. Gradually, he brought the weapon closer and closer, aiming at my chest and then- he stopped. With a smirk, he effortlessly cut the ropes binding my hands. I smiled as he helped me up and took hold of my forearm tenderly.

"They weren't too tight, were they?" He asked, checking for any marks. Simpering, I shook my head.

"Not at all." He relaxed and pressed his lips to my wrist lovingly.

"No.." we both turned, hearing the doctors voice. The master groaned, looking bored all of a sudden.

"Oh I forgot about you." Being me flush to his side, I rested my head on his chest easily. The horror on the doctors face was priceless.

"Of course, when I said I came to take what's mine, I meant (y/n)." She began to shake her head in denial.

"You're lying, (y/n) would never go with you!"

"Wouldn't I?" I said, letting go of him and kneeling in front of her.

"Sometimes you have to learn not everything can go your way. I'm not getting you out of this. You'll just have to wait for yaz to wake up, won't you?" It slowly sunk in that I wasn't joking, that I really was leaving with him. The doctor sat there, raging behind her eyes.

"You just let him hurt us? You don't care?"

"Not anymore. Not after the way I was treated. Especially yaz, constantly ignoring me. She deserves to-" before I could finish, the doctor used all her force to pounce forward. I yelped, head hitting the floor harshly as I landed. Without a second thought, the master gripped her hair and yanked her back.

"You better hope for the sake of that stupid girls life you haven't hurt her!" She grit her teeth as he tossed her aside, returning to me. Carefully, he lifted me up into his arms before giving the doctor one final look.

"Enjoy your week alone."

☆☆☆☆☆

The master placed me down onto the bed delicately, making sure I was comfortable.

"Does it hurt?" I just nod slowly, reaching a hand up but I was stopped.

"No touching." He sat beside me, parting my hair to see the damage and sighed.

"Just a bruise. You'll be okay. But next time I see her I swear I'll make her suffer." Smiling, I turned and laid my head on his chest, body instantly melting into his hold. In turn, the master found himself relaxing too.

"I dont doubt that, as long as I can help."

"Oh darling, you know I wouldn't dream of being without you." A kiss was pressed to my cheek, making me happier and smile more.

"Yaz will be out for a couple days, so she can sit and reflect whilst listening to the screams above." Wiggling his fingers, the master mover his hand through the air to simulate what he was saying and I giggled.

"Perfect. It will kill her to know she couldn't save them." The master gazed down, stroking my cheek lovingly.

"I'm so happy to have you, so perfect for me." I leant into his touch and let out a breath. My eyes closed, feeling safe in his grasp and my body needed to reset for a while.

"Sleep now, my love, I have big plans for us."

[quietwingsinthesky]

martharose for the ship ask game!

martharose my beloved you have the potential to be so incredibly complicated for both parties through no fault of their own. because there is no erasing that rose just existing made martha’s time with the doctor worse, that her absence was this looming shadow over martha. and then i think about martha’s face when she sees rose for the first time, the ‘oh my god, he found you’, the surprise at seeing this mythical woman in the flesh. i think about how much rose doesn’t know about what came after her, and about how rose’s introduction to martha is her being brave and clever enough to hold the earth itself hostage against the daleks, about ‘she’s good’ and how rose knows the doctor would only let the best of the best onboard the tardis.

i want martha to have the world’s worst timed, most ill-advised crush on rose so bad. i want rose to fall a little in love with her for helping to save the world. i want them to dance around the topic of the doctor, because how can you ever just mention all of that casually? i want it lingering under there, though, this guilt for rose over the hole she left that the doctor tried to make martha fill and hurt them both when she couldn’t, when she was too much her own person to ever be rose, and. not a feeling like she couldn’t match up to rose because martha knows she’s that and more. but this sort of uncomfortable ‘should i have tried harder, or was i worse for trying at all’ about her time on the tardis.

i think they could get through it, i do. but i think it’d be rough. it’d be like going through a briar patch and getting all scraped up to get to the other side. but there’s a foundation there of respect from their very first meeting that could grow into a beautiful partnership.

[put any ship in my ask box and i’ll give my brutally honest opinion]

[mossfrg]

on a similar vein as my Jersey Gotham fic, I raise you this point: I have not seen a single mentioned of 4-h in any regard to Clark. I mean c’mon, super country boy Clark motherfucking Kent??? Not involved in 4H??? Absurd. My mans was involved in AT LEAST rifle, horse, and cow clubs. Maybe a lil goat club as a treat. (Fuck sheep I have a personal vendetta with them so only sheep slander here). He still has the pledge memorized. He defaults to showing posture when nervous. You bet your ass this man can get any stain— shit blood mud— out of whites because “No I don’t need a dry cleaner Bruce do you know how hard it is to keep an all-white outfit all-white while in a barn I did that when I was seven fuck you”

Clark drops random stories from his time showing and then moved on like he hasn’t just dropped the craziest farmer bullshit city-boy Bruce has ever heard.

“Y’know i once got drunk and stole a tractor and plowed a dick into the field.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“nah nothing.”

Mans just casually drops that he helped establish breed standards multiple times and refined show standards for said breeds. He started a petition to change the classes for showing to include companion animals. PETA has stalked him and has him on their black list. He was excused of all tardies in school because during calving season, he regularly gloved up and pulled calves (bc why bother using an actual calf pulled when you have an alien with super strength).

Yes Clark is an alien, but he is a feral farm boy alien.

[ggomos-maribat]

Soul-Stitching: The Heir and the Guardian

Masterlist

Chapter 2: the innocent and the guilty | AO3

CW: Mentions of trauma, childhood trauma, and bullying

This is in no way an accurate depiction of a real court trial!! My inspiration comes from k-dramas, Ace Attorney, Danganronpa and Legally Blonde!! Similarities to real-life cases a purely coincidental!! Thank you!!

It is often noticed by any visitor of Paris that the city has changed in the few years of war with a magical terrorist. The sullen mood is palpable, even more so as citizens begin to file into the Court of Cassation. The fight with Hawkmoth has concluded since one year ago already, yet the topic is rarely brought up, only made known through hushed whispers. At least, that is what Clark discovers after spending a casual day in the city. 

He adjusts his glasses whilst looking up at the graying pillars of the building. It's an important case to cover, both as a reporter and a member of the Justice League—easily two birds with one stone. Clark is no Bruce Wayne but he can be a detective of his own. That's what a journalist is already, anyways. And judging by the flock of Parisians entering, it seems that this trial is important to them. He sees faces of unspoken trauma, some out for a sort of vengeance, some quietly remembering what it was like during the reign of akumas. When he finally takes his seat inside the grandiose courtroom, there is nothing but an air of somberness. 

The layout is as per usual: the judge high up, front and center; a witness stand beside him; a jury off to the side; and two tables on opposite sides for defense and prosecution. The things most different are the bulky cameras standing at the edge of the room, manned by the local reporters to document the entire thing. The important people have not arrived, however, and in the meantime, Clark decides to scribble on a small notebook. 

The facts of the case are baffling, persuading Clark that he has to see the trial himself. To make a sound judgment, he doesn't need only evidence but the people's opinion as well. 

A sharp hush washes over the courtroom as the double doors at the front open up. The judge, a sharp-nosed old man, heads the parade, followed by the prosecution and the defendant escorted by police and the bailiff. The accused walks with conserved grace although her hands are bound in thick handcuffs. The prison uniform falls loosely around her thin frame as she looks around curiously. 

“Monsieur Blanchard.” The judge pinches the bridge of his nose. “Where is our defendant's lawyer?” 

“It seems that Kingston has backed out of this one, Your Honor,” Blanchard replies, not hiding a snicker in his tone. 

“Then who—” 

“Wait, wait, I'm here!” The doors from the back fly open, turning many heads. In runs not the pot-bellied Kingston, but instead a young man fixing his tie with one hand and carrying a bulky briefcase in the other. 

“I'm here. Sorry I'm late.” The man smiles sheepishly, as if he had just been tardy for a class. But his grin is unfairly charming, shining brightly like the sun. 

“A—Adrien Agreste?” The judge does a double take. “You are the defense attorney?” 

“Yes sir.” Adrien’s grin widens. He proudly shows off the badge clipped to his suit, and a license that Clark is certain is fake. “It's my first ever case but I hope I do well.” 

Murmurs go over the crowd. 

Even the defendant herself looks genuinely surprised at his presence. 

Clark doesn't know if the judge is an idiot, or just doesn't want to prolong the trial any further, but the old man simply accepts Adrien's position as the defense representative. Meanwhile, Adrien is still beaming—not even in the confident manner like in the belief that his win is guaranteed. His expression is quite innocent, like he doesn't quite grasp how heavy the situation is. 

“We will begin now.” The judge swings his gavel. “Respectable citizens of Paris, we are gathered here today to hear the case of Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, who is on trial for terrorizing the city for six long years as the supervillain Hawkmoth. The prosecution may now give its opening statement.” 

“Thank you, Your Honor,” Blanchard clears his throat. “On the eighteenth of June there was a series of calls coming from Rue Lepic, reporting suspicious behavior from an apartment complex. Specifically, bright beams of ‘magical’ light, multiple loud noises, and white butterflies coming out of a window. This suspicious person was found to be Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, an occupant of the unit in the fifth floor, however upon the inquiry of the police she was uncooperative. After multiple complaints, a search warrant was ordered and police found multiple pieces of evidence in Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's apartment.” 

“If you direct your attention to the screen here . . .” Blanchard motioned with his hand. “We found several blueprints depicting ‘an underground butterfly lair’, a list of akumatized civilians, and detailed plans to obtain Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculi. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think much explanation is needed; the defendant is undoubtedly the villain Hawkmoth!” 

An uproar reverberates in the courtroom which the judge silences again. 

“That does seem conclusive.” The judge nods. “Does the defense have anything to say?” 

“Yes.” Adrien takes the floor, holding up a piece of paper and putting one hand on his hip. “I think we're missing one big point here.” He points at the TV screen, which switches to a masked photo of Hawkmoth. “This is Hawkmoth! He's a grown man and no way a young woman, much less my client. You say that you found evidence in my client's apartment, which could just be circumstantial evidence. The butterflies? My client might be an entomologist.” 

“I must object, Monsieur Agreste, but these are baseless arguments.” Blanchard raises an eyebrow. “We all know that the miraculi grant a ‘glamor’, a magical protection that makes holders unidentifiable with the mask on. This has been explained by Ladybug and Chat Noir a few times, and we have also witnessed its concealing power when their ally holders were revealed by Miracle Queen.” 

The mustached prosecutor huffs. “And as far as I have gathered, the defendant does not dabble in entomology. Rather, she's had a keen interest in fashion designing.” 

“As seen in the revealed holders’ profiles, the glamor does hide their identities but it does not change, in any way, their build, gender, and age,” Adrien argues. 

“Even so, we cannot be certain that the defendant is not behind the terrorist's mask. The magic must work in ways we do not understand; Mlle. Dupain-Cheng must have manipulated her appearance to a greater degree. The other documents—the blueprints and plans, are the supporting pieces of evidence.” 

“That's another point I want to make,” Adrien begins, “There is limited information about the miraculi that is publicly known. We're going off by statements Ladybug and Chat Noir have made previously, but you cannot convict anyone of being Hawkmoth without their presence right here, since only they can give the confirmation about who's the villain and who's not.” 

The crowd stirs at the mention of the two heroes, which Blanchard seemingly notes. “Unfortunately, those two have gone missing in action ever since Hawkmoth ceased attacks one year ago, effectively denying the people of Paris a formal declaration of the end of the battle as well as the identity of the villain. Ergo, we truly do not know if they've defeated him, if he was rightfully punished, or if he had only retreated into the shadows without the heroes ever finding his real identity.” He scoffs. “But today, we have a suspect and clear evidence right in front of us. Why must we wait for these ‘heroes’ before we act?” 

Half of the people make sounds of agreement, while others direct their annoyance at the defense attorney. For the umpteenth time, the judge brings down his gavel. 

“Yes,” the judge sighs, “Monsieur Agreste, we have tried coordinating with the mayor to contact Ladybug and Chat Noir for this case, however there is no sign of them. Our concern in this case is the defendant's identity regardless of whether the heroes would deem her guilty.” 

“But—” 

“If you have a way to bring the heroes to the witness stand, I will be happy to postpone this trial.” 

Adrien pouts and shakes his head, clearly unequipped with such a method. 

“The prosecution will now present further arguments.” 

“Very well, Your Honor.” Blanchard sweeps his gaze towards the other table. “I would like to call the defendant, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, to the witness stand.” 

Everyone watches the petite girl as she is guided to the stand beside the judge and swear the oath. Unlike the majority in the position of an accused, she doesn't wear a gloomy face, or worry, or fear. Marinette's expression is just . . . unfazed. Almost cheery, even. In addition to that, she's eerily calm—no nervous ticks or excessive babbling. 

“Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.” An air of exasperation surrounds Blanchard when he stands in front of the defendant, as if he has gone through this a thousand times. “Will you be cooperative in answering my few questions for you?” 

She gives a small smile. A smile. “Yes, of course. I'll try my best.” 

“Right . . .” Blanchard reads off a piece of paper. “First, regarding Monsieur Agreste's statement. Have you been practicing entomology recently?” 

Her eyebrows furrow. “No, not really. I've just been designing.” 

“In that case, how would you explain the butterflies witnessed by your neighbors and found in your apartment?” 

“I've been keeping them there.” 

“For what purpose?” 

“I can't tell you.” 

Blanchard doesn't say anything, as a way of telling everyone: ‘see how difficult it is to get through her?’ He switches to another topic. “How do you explain the blueprints and akuma plans found in your apartment? They tie you directly to Hawkmoth.” 

“Yes, they're incriminating, aren't they?” Marinette chirps. “But you should understand that I can't tell you the reasons. They're just there.” 

“Are you Hawkmoth?” 

“No, of course not.” 

“Do you have anything to say to at least prove you're not? Evidence?” 

She thinks for a moment. “Something tangible? No, nothing I can show you.” 

“Do you have companions in your apartment who may have planted those papers?” 

“No, I live alone.” 

Blanchard turns to the judge. “As you can see, the defendant denies the accusation, but ambiguously. Since she doesn't provide a clear alibi, we can only rely on the current evidence which points to her guilt.” 

Marinette is quickly ushered away from the witness stand and Adrien is given his turn to speak again. 

“It is reasonable for my client to deny those accusations . . . because masquerading as a villain isn't her at all. Let me tell you that all of Marinette's friends and family will vouch for her kindness; in both le collège and le lycèe, she was an excellent student academically, and a dedicated volunteer in her extracurriculars. Not to mention, she regularly sells her creations for charity. If you look at her school records, her worst offenses are just tardies; she did have a case of theft which, under the proper investigation, you would find she was framed for and one instance of expulsion that was retracted. Nonetheless, this girl couldn't have been an emotional terrorist in any way.” Adrien takes a deep breath after his spiel. 

“There are other concerning points in her behavior. Several of her former classmates as well as her parents, have recounted Mlle. Dupain-Cheng disappearing at random times, which always coincided with the instances of akuma attacks,” Blanchard rebuts. 

“My client becomes anxious during akuma attacks. It's just a coincidence.” 

“Unfortunately, the defendant has been seen interacting with suspicious individuals as well.” Blanchard clasps his hands behind his back. “Your Honor, may I call another witness to the stand?” 

With the judge's permission, a civilian is called into the stand: a woman just about the defense's age, wearing a pencil skirt with her long sleek hair cascading down her back. Clark swears he hears Adrien mumble ‘ew, hell no’ using his superhuman hearing. 

“This is Mlle. Lila Bianca Rossi,” Blanchard introduces, “Former classmate and acquaintance to Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. She has some . . . notable observations about the defendant.” 

Now Clark knows he hadn't imagined Adrien's comment. The defense attorney has his jaw clenched tightly, with no concealed disdain for the witness. But Marinette's expression doesn't mirror his; she only has her head tilted in confusion. With a hint of amusement perhaps. 

“Mlle. Rossi, please enlighten us with the defendant's apparent change in behavior during collège and lycèe,” Blanchard requests. 

“I regret standing here to testify against my classmate.” Rossi throws a look of pity at Marinette, folding one hand on top of the other. “But she had this . . . this shift in attitude all of a sudden. I was a transfer student in our school, Francois Dupont. From the way our classmates looked up to Marinette, I can tell that she's the consistent role model. But then—no one knows why—but she suddenly became distant and irritable. She even verbally harassed some of us even if we didn't do anything to her.” 

“Is there anything about her that leads you to believe that she is Hawkmoth?” 

“I saw something, a couple of times, in the park near her family's bakery.” The witness frowns. “There's a strange car that passed by a bench she was sitting on and . . . it looked like she was talking to someone inside. It didn't look like any of our classmates’ cars, and they looked pretty secretive about it.” 

“Do you remember anything about these people who talked to the defendant?” 

Rossi taps her lips. “I'm sorry, monsieur, I don't remember very clearly. The first instance was a man . . . I think, and after that it was a middle-aged woman. I do remember the woman wearing glasses and this bird-shaped pin on her chest. It stood out against her blue jacket.” She fiddles with her thumbs. “At—at first, I didn't think much of it and I didn't want to pry into Marinette's business, but now that I think about it, it was very suspicious.” 

“Does this mean, Mlle. Rossi, that you speculate that woman to be Mayura?” 

“I—I can't say for sure, but if you ask me, that seems to be the most likely explanation.” 

Blanchard nods understandingly as more murmurs litter around from the audience. “For the information of everyone here, by the way, I have questioned the defendant about this matter prior to the trial. Like earlier, she denies everything the witness recounted.” 

He faces Adrien. “Even if it is ‘unlikely’ for someone like the defendant to become a villain, we should acknowledge that people can have ill intentions despite a saintly image. Moreover, even if Mlle. Dupain-Cheng is not Hawkmoth as you claim, it is an undeniable fact that she is associated with him.” 

Adrien heaves out a long sigh, stepping beside Blanchard in front of Rossi. “Monsieur Prosecutor, may I interrogate your witness?” 

Blanchard nods. “Be my guest. As long as she consents.” 

“Mlle. Rossi.” Adrien's tone drips with his strange dislike for the woman. “I don't even know how you ended up as a witness here and to be honest your crimes need a separate trial of their own—” 

This earns indignant gasps from the audience. 

“—but for now, let's dissect your testimony. You said you witnessed my client here speaking with suspicious people. When exactly was this?” 

“Lycèe. Seconde,” Rossi coolly replies. 

“Do you remember the appearance of the car that approached my client?” 

“It was black . . . fancy with tinted windows.” 

“A Bugatti, would you say?” 

“Yes, yes a Bugatti. I remember it was that kind of car.” 

A tight smile graces the lawyer's face. “What made the encounter you witnessed suspicious?” 

“Before the car came, Marinette kept looking around as if she didn't want anyone to see. I never heard what they were talking about, but it seemed pretty serious. They were always whispering and when the car left, Marinette pretended as if nothing happened and went straight to her house.” Rossi shifts around a little. 

“Is this your only basis for treating it as something suspicious?” 

“Well—” 

“Does that mean, Mlle. Rossi, that any two people conversing secretly are already planning magical terrorist attacks?” 

“I—I just thought it fits Marinette's identity as Hawkmoth!” Rossi defends. 

“It fits conveniently with that explanation, but it also fits with my explanation.” Adrien shrugs. “During this time, seconde—we were fifteen—my father, the designer Gabriel Agreste, started secretly commissioning the defendant here as a design collaborator for his brand. My father wanted to keep it under wraps because it's the only way to make her agree. Unfortunately, they can only discuss the details in person and through Father's assistant, Nathalie, because Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's email has been repeatedly hacked by her harassers and competition. They were particularly fond of taking the Bugatti around the city even if it was so conspicuous. If you request it, Your Honor, I can definitely retrieve the documents of that same agreement right now.” 

Clark notices that Adrien throws a pointed look at Rossi when he utters ‘harassers’. 

The judge hums. “We will cross check this as evidence later.” 

“Of course.” Adrien nods. “Now that we've established that Mlle. Rossi had just misunderstood the situation, I think she's now pretty useless as a witness. What do you have to say, Monsieur Prosecutor?” 

The judge quietly relays his disapproval at Adrien for being rude to the witness, but motions at Blanchard to speak. 

“I believe I've yet to present the most incriminating evidence.” The look in Blanchard's eyes is menacing. “This morning, we did one final search inside the defendant's apartment. And we found this.” 

The screen flashes to show a familiar purple brooch: two pairs of wings emerging from a shiny jewel. It draws out the loudest reaction from the audience yet. 

Adrien gawks and turns to his client, who shrugs and shakes her head. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Butterfly miraculous. The very magical artifact Hawkmoth used to control Paris with fear. We have found this in Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's bedroom and it has her fingerprints on it as well.” 

“How certain are you that it's the real thing?” Adrien questions, rubbing his head. 

“It is unusable at the moment. If you look closely, there is a crack at the bottom, which must be why it is deactivated,” Blanchard says, “We are in the process of reaching out to a magic user who can verify its properties.” 

“You have used the evidence and my client's past behavior as bases for her guilt, but I have a question for the prosecution.” The defense lawyer looks agitated now, as if the brooch is one thing he hasn't accounted for. “What could be my client's motive for terrorizing Paris? Why did she stop?” 

“As you saw earlier, the defendant can be quite uncooperative, so it's difficult to deduce a motive or an explanation for the disappearance for now. If you are so convinced that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng is not Hawkmoth, do you have another candidate for someone who might be?” 

Adrien shares a look with Marinette. “Um . . . er—no . . .” 

“Though I cannot present what her motive might be, I have a clue in the reasons behind Mlle. Dupain-Cheng's actions. Her resortion to villainy may be a product of repressed childhood trauma.” 

Adrien visibly stiffens and pales. 

“I have done my own investigation and found that Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain are not the defendant's biological parents,” Blanchard declares. “She was brought into the foster system at the age of eight, and then adopted at nine. According to her former psychologist, she does not have any memories prior to her relocation to Paris, which may be from a traumatic experience. It is not impossible, then, that she may have psychological . . . tendencies, prompting her manipulation of others’ emotions through the Butterfly miraculous.” 

“That's not—” 

“Definitive? I agree, but the chance is not zero.” 

--

Clark is stunned down to his core. The judge and the jury were unswayed by the defense's counter arguments—they had just declared Marinette guilty, and the length of her sentence is currently in the talks. He has watched the entire trial to gain clarity on the case, but he’s becoming more perplexed by the situation. Marinette Dupain-Cheng's behavior is already strange in itself, but so is Adrien's. It seems that he has purposely withheld information—he doesn't even try to argue with Blanchard's closing statements or fight for a lighter punishment. 

He adjusts his tie. He still can't wrap his head around a single girl terrorizing Paris for six years, but the evidence is pretty solid. And said girl doesn't even mind being thrown into prison at all. 

He even catches the conversation after the verdict was announced: Adrien apologizes to her, but she merely pats his back, smiles, and tells him that she's off to a long vacation. She says it so casually, that Clark doesn't believe it's a crazy woman speaking. 

Clark stands up to approach Blanchard and get a more detailed statement, but he suddenly stops in his tracks. 

He hears them before the doors burst open. Oh no. 

“We'll take her from here.” Batman strides into the courtroom, flanked by Wonder Woman, the Flash, Zatanna, and Green Arrow at his sides. 

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Fun Fact! Instead of Marinette, it was actually Adrien who started to dabble in entomology after Hawkmoth's defeat Taglist: @noisydreamlandkoala

[themadvigilantist]

@girl-in-the-tardis @gallifreylegacy @egyptroyal @drbabygirl because they are mentioned

"Is that all there is? That's it? And it–"

Vin's face dropped as his bewildered anger cracked into sadness at what was being said. He turned to the Doctor - well, Doctors - as it was RMT's Doctor and The Doctor present with them all.

"Even after all that, after everything and you all would toss it for someone that would rather ab—"

He was dejected, stopping what he was saying almost as if he was giving up. Was this what Poison Ivy felt like when talking to Harley Quinn back then in the cartoons? Was this how Dr. Jones felt?

His eyes casted down and then Vin did something that was usually asked or begged or asked in a way to brush past the casual disgust when he would come back from a 'hunt': he left. He stopped fighting.

His shoulders slumped, relaxed, the look across his distraught face never changing. Oh, the bond was fixed but it was fixed in a way that removed him almost completely. They shut him out. So, his bond shut them out.

Thing about aliens and the bonds they forge: you never know when a bond gains their own sentience. Can't stop it. To stop it is to be aware of it and Vin was not aware of it.

It didn't feel like a hug or someone holding another's hand - it felt like fingertips touching another's fingertips. Barely, like reaching for someone and you almost have their hand if you can just stretch just a little more.

Just a little more.

A little more.

More.

It was felt for all except for him. Not a weight being lifted for the others but just how heavy the bond was truly was from him in addition to the Doctor's.

How Vin held the bond together - it was as if Vin was their M50 protective mask before and now he was essentially a sheer cloth. He couldn't protect them. The truth was too horrible. Sure, they could ignore it or - what was it RMT called it? Glitch? - Glitch themselves into it but the truth?

The truth that they were all dead, that this wasn't how it was at all. That the one they called father by birth was never their father, never her husband because they never existed. He never existed. Never will. They can bleed in here and there through other people by other people but it will never be what they are.

Dead was kinder than never existed based on a whim after watching or reading or listening to a story of the Doctor's autobiography recontexualized as fiction. And Vin was coming to this conclusion in real time.

Was this how Jennifer felt? No, Jennifer embraced it. Embraced not being real. But, Jennifer wasn't here. V's friend wasn't here. His eyes searched and searched. He could feel his left hand scrunch and wring reality like it was the clothes off his back. Feel the soft fabric of reality that should have been asphalt and concrete and metal but was instead a nice velvet.

He clung and then he let go. The air was still the same, the ground the same, as if he didn't feel reality in his hand a minute ago.

And then he turned and his eyes locked onto the Doctor's and saw them. Something that no matter what type of human they were, none could see. He saw every single Doctor in their eyes. Every Doctor that was just another imitation of the original. Every Doctor that will never be The Doctor. The Doctor that will never have their Kira. Well, they had a Kira Arlo from the Kerblam factory but, not their Kira Tyler-Williams. That Doctor will never have V, never have a Vin or his family. Never will. But the imitations of the Doctor? Those gone and those present and those that will be, they will.

And a well known open knowledge that this Doctor, that Doctor, was always just a footnote in Vin's existence. A cane's rubber bottom. Easily replaced with a tennis ball.

Another alien's glitch is another alien princess' happiness. A bond's comfort to its' maker.

"I'm going to go get a massage and mani pedi. Maybe get a sauna treatment." Vin found himself saying, turning back around.

He had dropped the argument. Why argue when everyone around you, including yourself, including the imitation of a time lord that they never will truly be, never existed? That horrible truth. None of it will matter.

Confetti.

[bronzeagepizzeria]

prompt: "don't worry, i’ll keep you safe." + tenrose. 🩷

thank you for the prompt! here’s 700 words of word vomit, set after the age of steel

send me a prompt + pairing! read on ao3

The Doctor was missing.

If Rose were to be honest with herself, it wasn’t one hundred percent out of the blue. He hadn’t wanted to stay in the first place—but she’d sensed he felt like he had to make something up to her, after everything that’d happened with Mickey, so she’d taken the plunge.

“It’s Mum’s fortieth, next week,” she’d said casually, staring at her feet. “And I was thinking…well—since we’re here, already…”

“You want to stay,” he’d surmised.

His tone was measured too, had been since they’d returned to the prime universe, each word careful and infused with thought. Like one slip would be enough for her to call it quits.

“We could,” she’d said, ignoring that. “It’s bound to make her feel better about the whole thing. Less lonely.” She was, of course, talking not only of Jackie.

The Doctor was tactful enough to not mention this. “We?” he’d repeated instead. “Alright.” He’d rocked back and forth on his heels a little, thinking hard. “It’s just…it’s very domestic, isn’t it? An entire week?”

It’d made her laugh, despite everything, so Rose had dried her eyes, taken his hand in hers and squeezed. “Don’t worry, Doctor,” she’d said lightly. “I’ll keep you safe.”

She hadn't really expected him to stick around the entire week, but he had. He’d made himself scarce, evidently of the belief that she needed some alone time with her mum, but he hadn’t snuck off to the TARDIS —hadn’t complained once about boring, linear life on the slow path.

Which was why she could probably let him get off with this one afternoon to himself—even if it was the day of the party itself he’d chosen to finally tire of her.

He was the Doctor, and he didn’t do domestics, and Rose couldn’t honestly expect him to stick around and chat with old Mrs Evans, could she?

(She could. She did.)

The thing about being a full time companion to an alien from another planet, was that people tended to have questions. People, who were currently milling about her tiny flat now, little slices of pastry clutched in their hands, said questions on their tongues.

“We heard you’ve been travelling. With a man.”

“But where do you go all year? And leaving your poor mum by herself…we hardly see you anymore.”

“And where is this travelling companion?”

And when she’d successfully darted all that, (something she thought was quite laudable, actually), they flipped the script and began serenading her with everything she’d missed out on.

It was dreadful. It was boring. It was hard to pretend like she cared that Mrs Evans had finally had her grandson.

She was completely out of place among these people—a fish out of her bowl, a Rose out of the TARDIS. She realised with a jolt that this was probably what the Doctor felt like all the time. The thought made her feel oddly empty.

Almost as if it was that that’d done it, the Doctor ducked through their doorway, plastic bag in hand, shrugging off his coat. “Hello,” he said, eyes bright. “Haven’t missed too much, have I?”

Silence fell across the flat, everyone’s curiosity piqued at the much awaited arrival of Rose’s mystery man. The Doctor either didn’t notice or he ignored them. Rose wasn’t sure.

He waded through people, smiling and nodding politely, his eyes fixed on Rose. It was the strangest feeling—like someone had set the world back on its axis—and she felt the unease seeping out of her, bit by bit.

“Sorry,” he said once he reached her, squeezing her into a half hug. “Only I just noticed you were out of milk. Thought I’d pop over to the shops.”

“Oh,” she said. So he hadn’t run away. Mickey usually brought over groceries for her mum when she wasn’t home.

The Doctor bit his lip, and she realised she’d said that last bit out loud.

“It’s alright.” She offered him a smile. “Thanks.”

He glanced around, moving to deposit the bag on a nearby shelf, before drawing her head into his chest, arms wrapping around her back. She only hesitated for a second, before melting into him. He wasn’t warm; he never was. But somehow it didn’t matter that she was out of place anymore.

With him, she fit.

[sixth-doctor]

I think they missed such a big opportunity by not bringing back Eight and Charley for the 60th anniversary specials. I mean why David tennant? Again? I feel like Donna’s whole storyline was tied off in a really good, tragic way. So why did they start to mess with it again? Ugh, pet peeves aside I really think bringing back Eight and Charley would’ve been such a good idea. Not only would it introduce the wider audience to the big finish audios and expanded universe but I really feel like out of most if not all of the companions eight and Charley had this really deep bond that I would’ve loved to see on tv. Also not to mention Paul McGann really REALLY deserves some on screen time, I mean his acting is phenomenal.

‘But wait, casual watchers won’t know who Charley is, so you can’t just bring her back!!’ This is where they could’ve utilised some really great flashbacks, with eight narrating over the top of it at the start of the episode. Little snippets of storm warning to start, and eventually really emotionally charged moments like Charley holding the knife to her chest in the chimes of midnight, or eight begging to be stabbed by Charley in zagreus, or really just any of the MANY horrific things they went through together. It wouldn’t be too long but would help the audience understand what happened and sort of clue them into that timeline.

And then the tardis goes haywire and sends him on his merry way to see Charley again. I’d kill for that, to see them on TV 😭😭 IMAGINE WILD BLUE YONDER AND YHE GIGGLE WITH THEM IN IT. Such a wasted opportunity oh my goodddddddddd. Please I just really want more eight and Charley content, and honestly the specials would’ve been SUCH a perfect place for them.

And if they insisted on the Bi-generation happening (I really hated that, sorry) I feel like eight would’ve been perfect to process all the trauma, because honestly I think he is the most traumatised doctor. He went through so much during his run like in Zagreus, neverland, scherzo (there’s probably more but unfortunately I haven’t been able to listen to that many audios yet.)

Anyways sorry if none of this made any sense I just like yapping about doctor who and I’ve found a platform to do it on soooo…..