#even tho she was bottlefed

[mossfrg]

on a similar vein as my Jersey Gotham fic, I raise you this point: I have not seen a single mentioned of 4-h in any regard to Clark. I mean c’mon, super country boy Clark motherfucking Kent??? Not involved in 4H??? Absurd. My mans was involved in AT LEAST rifle, horse, and cow clubs. Maybe a lil goat club as a treat. (Fuck sheep I have a personal vendetta with them so only sheep slander here). He still has the pledge memorized. He defaults to showing posture when nervous. You bet your ass this man can get any stain— shit blood mud— out of whites because “No I don’t need a dry cleaner Bruce do you know how hard it is to keep an all-white outfit all-white while in a barn I did that when I was seven fuck you”

Clark drops random stories from his time showing and then moved on like he hasn’t just dropped the craziest farmer bullshit city-boy Bruce has ever heard.

“Y’know i once got drunk and stole a tractor and plowed a dick into the field.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“nah nothing.”

Mans just casually drops that he helped establish breed standards multiple times and refined show standards for said breeds. He started a petition to change the classes for showing to include companion animals. PETA has stalked him and has him on their black list. He was excused of all tardies in school because during calving season, he regularly gloved up and pulled calves (bc why bother using an actual calf pulled when you have an alien with super strength).

Yes Clark is an alien, but he is a feral farm boy alien.