#and the shit that happened at my work was so cruel
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I've been hospitalized and I've worked in mental health so I have some suggestions
1) You will see things that you don't understand. That's ok. As long as the behavior isn't harmful its fine. Unusual sentence structure, unusual requests, unusual movements, unusual associations, etc are just how some people function. So if you don't understand why someone is doing something try to just take it in stride, try not to laugh, stare, or look disgusted. When I was hospitalized a patient had a compulsion (I think) to shout their full name whenever someone said their first name, then they always looked embarrassed. So the best staff members just pretended it didn't happen which didn't stop the behavior but at least the patient was more at ease because they weren't being shamed.
2) People in psych wards often have a very dark sense of humor. Gallows humor gets us through. People will casually throw out the most upsetting and traumatic anecdotes as "funny" stories. You don't have to laugh along, just don't be too surprised. One benefit to being in a psych ward is a level of understanding most people don't have outside. People can drop a joke about the most horrifying shit they've survived and no one freaks out, they just laugh and share something equally messed up. That dark comradery was a weirdly healing part of my recovery. Sometimes as a staff member you'll have to intervene if people start looking uncomfortable but in general you just gotta shrug and move on.
3) Compassion, compassion, compassion. The difference between a good stay and a bad stay is compassion. Treat every patient as if they were a loved one. My worst stay the staff treated us like dangerous cattle. They didn't speak to us except to give orders, they ignored people in pain and distress, they refused every request just because they could. My best stay the staff ate with us, they played card games with us, they offered a hand to hold when someone was scared, they treated us like human beings. Just sitting with someone for a while can be huge.
4) Please report things. PLEASE REPORT THINGS. If a patient is harassing another patient, report it. If a patient is harassing an employee, report it. If a coworker is being cruel or neglectful towards patients, report it. If your reports do nothing then escalate it. I've reported patients, nurses, doctors, teams, even organizations both as a patient and as a professional. I've called the police. I've gotten people fired. You will need to do that sometimes. It sucks and is a little nerve wracking but you need to advocate for people's safety. The reports I made as a professional were taken way more seriously than the reports I made as a patient. The system is set up to dismiss patients so employees need to be more proactive. Please be an advocate. Some of the people you'll work with don't have any support outside the hospital, those are the most vulnerable people you'll probably ever meet and you won't always know who's in that group.
5) Talk to the patients. Avoid phrases like "I understand what you're going through" and use phrases like "I know this is hard" or "I'm here to help." If someone is having a hallucination or delusion that's upsetting sometimes it's better to work with the delusion than to deny it completely. If someone is worried there's bugs in their food just saying "no, that's ridiculous" won't help. But saying "I'll check to make sure there's no bugs" can help immensely. Some people will be scared of you due to anxiety, medical trauma, other trauma, or paranoia. You can't always change their mind. But you can show signs that you are a safe person. Little stuff like getting them an extra blanket, asking how they're doing, including them in their treatment plans, etc are vital but overlooked.
Help Me Train Nurses About Psych Stuff
I do a presentation at our hospital aimed demystifying mental illness and the people who live with it. The talk is for medical-surgical nurses, so specifically staff that does NOT work psych who feel ignorant about treating that population. A lot of the people I'm talking to are also young and still developing the foundation of their nursing practice.
If you've ever been in the hospital as a psych patient (or a psych patient navigating the medical system in general), what would you want the hospital staff to know based on your experiences? What advice or insight would you give?
I'd especially love anything about positive experiences, things that helped you, what someone did that improved the situation, stuff like that. In addition to saying what not to do, I'd love to give staff actionable things they CAN do instead.
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Request: Toji! Like, anything! I bet he's really cruel in a fun way
summary-you and toji were talking about a very unique topic when he decided to demonstrate
The room was dim a soft, golden light spilling from the bedside lamp as you and Toji lay together, tangled in the sheets. He was lazily scrolling through his phone, tapping away at the screen with a bored expression, while you rested beside him, content to enjoy the quiet.
"So, what's next for you today?" you asked, propping yourself up on one arm and watching him.
Toji glanced up from his phone, giving you a half-smile. "make some money" he said nonchalantly. "Running a bit low on cash."
You raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. "You could always become a male stripper. That'd solve your problems."
His gaze flickered to you, a teasing glint in his eyes. "I'm thinking of something better,I'll just become a sugar baby, do nasty things for my sugar mommas. You know, make a little extra cash."
You laughed, shaking your head. "a sugar baby, huh? they’re probably into somesome weird shit."
Toji's grin widened, a dark, amused edge to it. "Oh, trust me” he said, leaning in a little closer. "I've learned a few... weird fetishes ,some are pretty damn interesting."
You blinked, curiosity piqued. "What do you mean? Like what kind of fetishes?"
Without warning, Toji's fingers darted out, landing on your ribs with surprising precision. You gasped in shock as you jerked away instinctively but he immediately had you pinned with his other arm.
"Ah, no escaping” he said, his voice low and teasing. "Let's see if you can handle it."
Your eyes widened in confusion and before you could react, his fingers moved faster, running up and down your sides, lightly grazing over your sensitive skin. You started to squirm, giggling involuntarily as he pressed his thumb into your ribs. You tried to wriggle away but he was too strong, holding you down with one arm while his other hand expertly tickled you.
"W-What the hell?" you gasped between uncontrollable laughter, your body wriggling under him as the tickling intensified. "What are you doing?!"
He kept the pressure on, his fingers now moving faster, teasing every ticklish spot he could find. You couldn't help but laugh harder, twisting beneath his touch, desperately trying to escape his grasp. The sensation was too much, leaving you breathless.
Toji leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear as you continued to squirm, unable to stop the laughter. "Tickling" he murmured, voice dark with amusement. "It's a common fetish, you know."
You stopped squirming for a moment, your laughter turning into a confused giggle.
"Tickling? A... a fetish?"
"Yeah” he replied, squeezing your sides one last time before letting up, just enough for you to catch your breath. "Some people love it, get off on it. I thought you'd like it too."
You stared at him in disbelief, still catching your breath. "Are you serious?"
Toji's grin stretched wider as he leaned back, letting you finally breathe. "You didn't think I was just doing this for fun, did you? But don't worry, sweetheart” he said with a wink.
"I've got more than a few tricks up my sleeve."
You lay there, still trying to make sense of what just happened, feeling slightly embarrassed yet oddly turned on by how effortlessly he had worked you over. You knew you'd never look at tickling the same way again.
"Next time" Toji added with a grin, "don't doubt my expertise."
You rolled your eyes, still laughing in disbelief. "You're insane" you muttered but you couldn't help but feel a little thrill from his teasing.
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disclaimer : OP is not sorry, but please don't kill me
i dunno if it's just my imagination or what, since I haven't known these boys for long, but this whole “THK interview : get to know your killers” seems a little to me like.... laying it on too thick?
I'm almost 30yo and not delusional enough to think that the boys don't do fanservice. for fkt it's quite subtle changes and honestly that's fine. I'm not a huge fan of being all over each other and “he's my safe zone” shit because at this point we've seen a lot of those so-called safe zones crumble to dust while we watch the actors plant kisses on eo that half the time feel like they are too uncomfortable to do.
to add, I'm not saying fkt are lying to us or anything. i think the boys genuinely love each other and enjoy e/o's presence and company. but from what little i have watched, first and khao's interactions have always been organic and... comfortable, in a way that you don't have to question what's real and what's not.
with this interview, and especially with the “northern lights” section, i almost want to laugh if I'm being honest. part of me feels a little cruel because of that cuz I'm generally pessimistic and hence these thoughts, but one could wonder if it's character bleed happening here or they took a part of kt's life and included it in bison's or that bison is being promoted through kt's life and wishes. i think all of those things are fine, really, because duh : work + getting paid is def more important. but it has been making me think about the... genuineness of all these bits and pieces of interactions that the actors share with us.
this is not to say it's anything against kt, i think he is a stellar actor and even better person and i wish nothing but the best for him. my point is we haven't seen fkt do explicit fanservice for the fans like other actors do and this kinda.... makes you think. that's all.
anyway, I'm not well versed in the art of thai bl and fanservice dynamics, so if anyone would like to elaborate, or ask something, feel free to do so. inbox is open.
p.s. : as with everything fandom related, i know i had to put the warning first. genuinely, do not kill me. you can send me asks though. but i'd prefer a no-hate approach.
#firstkhaotung#firstkhao#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thai bl#thai bl actors#fanservice#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#my posts#source : 29daffodils
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Can’t believe I’m saying this but Jesus Christ I wish I could just stay here in this program in florida
#every time I spend time with my friends but especially my work friend situation thing I’m like#incredibly depressed#I forgot how social I am because of the circumstances I had to move in#and how fucking lonely I’ve felt in Ohio#if it wasn’t for a rock I’d literally have no one#and the shit that happened at my work was so cruel#like i feel like I’m back to my 2019 self before it all and it’s basically time to move back#and it’s like suffocating me
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any update on the ao3 front?
no updates yet unfortunately ✌️😔 august has not been. a relaxing month for me. but i'm hoping to make some progress this weekend since labor day is monday, so i'll at least have the time off my Normal Big Guy Job...........guh
#luckily nothing overly bad has happened but my sweetheart has had some family with health issues :(#plus walgreen's has been giving me the runaround with my meds so uh...maybe could use some work on that front#plus we moved a month ago so we're still settling into the new place#and i moved up in my job so there was another set of training i had to do#but like i said it's not like life has been overly cruel! just. hectic#moonlight.pdf#asks#anonymous#not sexy#i am alive though! so at least there's that#any of yall play rimworld ive been going full autism mode on that shit#that's been my current means of relaxation
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i think i uh. i think i need to make characters who are obsessed with each other have to kill each other more often
#the thing is. this happens in tlt. in tlt it feels normal#not to say that it doesn't make me lose my shit. augustine and alfred and mercymorn and cristabel situation will forever kill me dead.#just that it is part of the actual plot.#i want to make characters who DIDN'T have to do that in book do it.#cruel and unusual punishment i guess and listen this IS about vimes and vetinari but also. it just works so well with ANY dynamic of obsess#- obsession. like. it just Makes Me Feel So Much#sighs.#.txt
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Okay after freaking out about alhaitham it’s time to be neurotic again that girl is freaking me out sm :D
#like bro I don’t understand wallah I don’t#I’m so confused and it’s literally ruining everything#dora daily#AND I NEVER SAY WALLAH ABOUT ANYTHING THIS IS HOW BAD ITS RUINING ME AAAAAAH#on one hand she’s ignoring me on the other she isn’t and she genuinely doesn’t see any of my posts#on the other she just forgot#ALL OF WHICH ARE SHIT OPTIONS#IT ISNT FAIR#i even tried liking her posts to show her yo I’m alive in case she didn’t see#I TRIED SENDING HER AN ASK ABOUT SOMETHING WEEKS AGO AND SHE DIDNT REPLY#I am trying so freaking hard and it is not working#and it’s fucking me up because what the fuck did I even do man#I didn’t do anything different#why do people ALWAYS do this I don’t fucking get it#it would’ve been much kinder if she just dropped me from the beginning when I was so hesitant with her#before I got so attached because what she’s doing right now is literally not only torture but so incredibly cruel#like I was getting obsessed with this one girl at work once but she ghosted me relatively early on in the very beginning stages of my#obsession coming into fruition and guess what IM TOTALLY FINE WITH IT NOW#BUT SHE LET THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP FOR MONTHS#then introduced a third party then now she doesn’t even acknowledge me#she is making me sewerslidal and it’s literally ruining everything#any time I would try to study I think of her and it freaks me out#every time I try to focus I think of her and it freaks me out#even when I go to sleep bro#like 8 ish weeks ago or so it literally was making me so messed up that if I hadn’t gone outside for a necessary out of uni task then my dad#taking me sight seeing in said area I genuinely don’t know what would have happened#because the level of rage I felt or whatever it was#was the most insane form of genuine torture ever#THIS WHOLE POST SEEMS NEUROTIC AND I’m just like I don’t even know anymore man#but what do I even do atp like bro
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I changed my mind. Hater behavior is undeserved, when it comes to works, & idgaf about holding creators accountable when their games are mid, anymore.
#em.txt#now i only care about how you treat your workers tbh#so there are still series i hate. but now I don't want to be mean to people who put time & effort into making shit#this is about post shift 2. people were too fuckin mean to Rjac for a game he made for free#& as a bitch who loves that game a lot i see your criticisms i understand. but you're not gonna be mean to him abt this#that fucking teen that held that interview & told him he needed to be held accountable for his mistakes. god#he made this shit for free across four years. what can happen in four years? what did he work through?#to deliver you a free game. even if you don't fucking like the game if you invite a creator on to talk about their works#you don't fucking talk to them the way uyeah did. shit was cruel & uncalled for.#this game is fucking good but it's forever going to be burried as a game that's complicated with weird tutorials#ps2 is fun. you should try it. if you don't get it -- ask. I'll answer any question at any time#i will vc you i will write a text doc -- whatever you want. more people need to experience this fucking game#it's compelling in a way few games are to me.#i can homestly only compare it to rain world but not for a reason that's overt & easy to explain. more in how it feels to play#rather than what you do.#man. idk. i gotta learn how to talk about shit i love without being mean now#this started because i was talking mad shit to my friends & it asked me to stop because i was downtalking something she loved a lot#& i realized this isn't fun for people. i thought we were having fun but tbh? I'm just a mean negative bitch#& that's not fun. that's mean.#i have to redo this character arc from when i was 13 because i guess I didn't learn it the first time around#cynicism doesn't make you funny or cool. it makes you mean & unfun to be around. finding kind things to say is tougher.#if you can present your criticism nicely then maybe you can criticize too#but that alone does not a good critique make & it definitely don't make you fun at parties#listen. i am still gonna be a bitch. but i am going to be less of one.
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I mean like. Not to bring the mood down but... you guys know that's because American media is everywhere right? Like the world is unable to avoid some version of American accent on a regular basis. Of course ppl find it easy to mimic. This is absolutely not restricted to ppl in the UK, its really common for ppl who learn English as a foreign language to have perfect 'American actor' accents (cause the reason everyone's so good at the American accent that's expected of them as actors is cause at large there's little distinction between regions in the 'Hollywood accent' that ends up on TV and films and stuff. You guys have massive regional differences in pronounceation, but what makes it on to TV (in 9/10 cases) is a very standardised version of American English.)
But yeah. It's not just actors lol. Most British ppl can speak in a passable american accent, as can loads and loads of people worldwide. I'm not saying this to be like 'you should feel guilty! 😡' but it does always stun me when Americans are unaware of the impact their country has worldwide on all versions of English (and even on use of native languages. Many countries are using English more and more over their native languages and dialects , and yeah, historical colonialism has had an impact there.)
But in the last few decades things have progressed way way faster and that, is thanks to the impact of anglo/american/ect lead capitalism. I'm in no way dismissing the impact the UK has on this, but in recent years, its the US that is largely pushing that train .While the UK and several English speaking commonwealth countries are very involved in this kind of capitalist imperialism, there's a reason that more and more people are speaking American English. Not one of the many UK dialects, not Australian English, or NZ English. Across the world more and more people are increasingly speaking in the same standardised american dialect that's in so much of the media you export. Hollywood based media, with that standardised accent/ dialect and the standardised 'normal american life', has a stranglehold on the world and I just find it crazy that a lot of you guys don't even know.
It's stupid stuff like. So many countries are importing american cars and are widening their roads/ changing town planning to account for it (this is less of a thing in the UK but I see it more and more when I travel). Its the food becoming avaliable everywhere. Its the influence that for profit healthcare has even on countries with socialised health systems. Its houses being built to account for American style appliances. Fashion trends. Worldwide, everything is slowly evolving to be closer and closer to this 'American standard' which honestly? I really don't think actually represents the lives of real American people either. You've been turned in to products, the system has taken an unrealistic snapshot of 'American life' and it's being sold to you all day in day out, but it's also being sold to the rest of us. It's being pushed on us all.
Kids in the UK go through phases of talking only in American accents. Anyone born later than the 90s is carrying round 2 sets of spelling and vocab, cause we're all so used to the American way, that you barely know which one you're using half of the time. In the UK we have always had really strong regional accents yeah, and dialects differ between areas that seem tiny to you guys, I know. But like. Those dialects are being lost cause all UK accents are evolving to become closer to this standardised american and yeah not great, but at least we share a language! US American society is largely rooted in the same foundations as UK society, largely we have the same flaws! But oh my god. What about the rest of the world.
It's global. This impact continues to be seen, steamrollering ahead, in places that had completely different starting points. UK culture isn't that dissimilar to that of the US, so we aren't losing nearly as much as cultures that had something completely different. So much is being lost.
Languages and dialects and everything else is just being wallpapered over so we all meet the same ideal of the 'American life' and it's not even real! It's just a product based on how ppl were actually living in the US, manipulated until it's the most marketable mould. You guys are victims of it as well but like. It's based on your culture so you don't lose as much if you conform to it. Just like how in the UK, if we conform, we lose more than US, but nowhere near as much as countries that had languages, dialects and cultures that were so so different to UK/US culture. The less like the US, your starting point, the more there is to lose.
And look. I said it to start with. I'm not having a go. That's not what this is. But you guys really need to be aware, you need to make an effort to understand the impact that this plastic Hollywood american culture is having on the rest of the world. You need to actively look for it, and make an effort to not pay in to it. Because when Americans see other cultures represented in media and say its not relatable, when you guys go on holiday and make no effort to learn local customs, and try and pay in dollars and spend your time abroad like you're still in America, when you see cultural differences and immediately argue that the American way is better and of course everyone should have giant cars and never dry laundry outdoors and live in American style homes, without any kind of critical thought. Just 'this is how we do it so why wouldn't everyone else do it this way. This is the only way. The American way is obviously best.' When you guys do that you are individually feeding in to this absolute bulldozing of cultures (including American ones!) to allow for better marketability.
It isn't any one individual American citizens fault that things are the way they are, and you guys are victims of the same system, but you need to have some self awareness when it comes to the fact that as individuals you are unknowingly, helping driving this forwards and as individuals, there are things you can do to limit your personal impact (and no arguing that you have no culture is not it!!! Being all self deprecating doesn't do shit. Take some responsibility and accept that individual Americans didn't create this system, but currently, individual Americans really are doing their bit to keep promoting it, to keep pushing it on the rest of the world.
And I've already rambled for an age so I'll stop here but I just want to make clear as an ending note here, that this really isn't about piling on Americans and being all 'boo it's all America's fault. They should apologise. Their culture isn't worth anything.' Not at all this is the opposite of that. The fact that millions of Americans have been convinced you have no culture, all while a mimicry of American culture is plastered on to the rest of the world, and while you as individuals are encouraged to help that happen, often without even realising what you're doing; is a crime. You've been wronged, as have we all.
And America is not the problem. The problem is imperialism and it didn't start with you guys. It started in Europe, and Europeans, particularly British ppl, have a responsibility to push back and be self aware, take some fucking responsibility and not inadvertently keep feeding in to that system, just as you guys do. The US didn't start the fire, imperialist capitalism is a fire that started burning long before the United States was even considered, but its on all of us, to do what we can to not feed that fire. And right now? You guys are the face of it.
This idea of what America is, is the face of imperialistic capitalism, and that means that even if you don't mean to, you guys are feeding that fire more so than the rest of us. You're responsible for spreading it, more so than the rest of us. And if you don't step up and take responsibility, accept that you're gonna get it wrong sometimes and you need to try to do better; if we don't all do that. There will be nothing left. They'll paper over it all, the lives of real Americans just as much as those in Scotland and India and the Netherlands, and 100 other cultures, that are at risk, thanks to this fire, that's currently, largely coming from America.
So yeah. It's absolutely not just on you guys and ppl who act like there's no racism or wealth divide in Europe or anywhere else for that matter are complete idiots, however, this Americanisation of the world (and I hesitate to call it that. Because its not a representation of real American lives. Its simply wearing an American face.) Its real. It's happening.
And we don't tell you about it to make you feel guilty (those of us who aren't dicks at least) ,we are telling you. We are kicking up a fuss. Because it isn't fair. It's not right and while individual Americans ignore that and refuse to take responsibility where they can (small apples. We aren't asking for you to call a violent revolution in our names. Just take some time to learn about the rest of the world. Stop assuming America is always right and examine your biases. When you find them. Stop personally pushing them.) , while that is happening, as individuals, you are contributing to this. It's not even altruism. This system is hurting Americans too. It's hurting us all. All we ask is that you do what you can to not personally contribute, and keep an open mind, be aware. That's all any of us can do.
when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”
#so yeah sorry to rant but honestly#I'm so tired of ppl refusing to take responsibility on every side of this#imperalistic cruel capitalist regimes going 'well hey. at least we aren't America. this is their fault.'#meanwhile. Americans contribute to the bulldozing of their own cultures to make room for a capitalist monster wearing them as a mask#and if you call out any Americans or make them aware of something they are doing individually that isn't helping. it's either#refusing to see/ accept their own bias. or just as bad! yes! just as bad!!! america is beyond help. there's nothing worth saving#nothing we can do. that's bullshit and making stupid excuses like 'oh our schools don't teach us to respect other cultures'#'we don't know how.' fucking learn! try! that's all anyone asks of you. nobody cares about your schooling. school is shit for working class#ppl in most countries!#you think the english curriculum is any more balanced? we're subjects of a colonial empire. it's propaganda and its not even competent!#i don't think the average American understands how many more hours of schooling they get vs a lot of places. I'm not saying it's right#but teaching time? you guys have longer school days and you stay in school till youre older. our national curriculum ends the year we turn#16 in the UK. year 11 finishes in June. you can leave school 2 months shy of 16 to get a supermarket job. (and many working class ppl do)#and our government still pat themselves on the back and say its eqv. to high school finishing at 18 in other countries. like for context.#i haven't had a geography lesson since i was 13. my last english lesson? i was 15. that's completely normal here. so yeah. the#'our schooling was shit so we can't use Google to learn a bit of geography' falls pretty fucking flat. sorry.#they should have done better by you but they didn't. join the queue. do what you can and take some fucking responsibility now#the only way out of this is for us all. American and otherwise. to do what we can. be self aware. try to be better. keep learning#because if you fall to apathy? capitalism wins. if you believe the propaganda? capitalism wins. if capitalism wins we all lose#the system is designed to wear you down so you're too tired to remember that it doesn't have to be this way.#that's been happening for decades and it's why things are such a mess now. the only way out. is remember there is a way out#climb towards it. do what you can. it seems like low hanging fruit. it doesn't look like enough to change anything.#but there are more ppl being hurt by this system than those benefiting. 99% of us. if everyone picks an apple. that's a lot!#that's a fucking lot! keep going even when it seems like you aren't making progress. make your voice heard. vote. don't passively support a#system that's on its way to destroying you. destroying us all. do what you've got to do to live. but don't forget that all the things that#seem like they don't matter? really really do matter once you add up everyone's contributions. you can't control other ppls actions only#your own. but your contribution matters. your vote matters. your voice matters. join the union. educate yourself. stay curious. question.#the informations out there go online learning 1 thing. challenging 1 bias is better than all or nothing. i dont have time to learn anything#small apples. low hanging fruit. the oceans made up of billions of drops. the longer you don't try. the longer you've no chance of success#we can do better. we can absolutely all do better.
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#delete later#im so exhausted and stressed. theres such a lack of stability and its freaking me out SO much. im just constantly tense and waiting#for something terrible to happen. im starting to think that im not gonna get to go to the entomology thing ive been hoping#how i can't do things independently and i must have been forced into this abd rhen it'll get cruel towards my friends abd i cant#and my aunt is getting worse abd my parents are waiting for me to fail abd have to move bsck with them which i can't do bc#to go to for months bc ill probably need to use that time off for preparing to move. which sucks. ive been looking forward to it#i was letting myself get my hopes up and that was a mistake bc now im rly disappointed. im hoping i can go but honestly#idk if it'd be financially responsible. same with comic con. its in october so i can probably go but it might not be a financially#good idea. it just. the things i was counting on to be stable sources of joy are not stable anymore and that's making everything worse#and im tryinh to be positive but im so anxious. theres just so much. i need to think about packing and try to figure out#how im going to move 1-2 hours away. how am i going to coordinate with movers whilst having to get the train to meet them#im disabled and cabt help move things so only getting one person ro deliver worries me. movers arent insured to take ppl with them#theres just SO MUCH. And i can't view properties easily bc of work so im missing out on multiple places that ive been contacting#ppl about abd i couldnt line up enough for last week when i was off bc it was too short notice and i just. its TOO MUCH TOO MUCH#im overwhelmed. im trying to think of the food im gonna cook when im there ahd the armchair im gonna buy#im gonna eat so much fucking lamb and fish oh ny god im excited for THAT#i wany to just go for the shittiest place to at least have some stability and bc i still have yhat kernel of thought that i dont#deserve comfort but im trying to fight it bc i do. i deserve somewhere nice and its unfair on myself not to find somewhere nice#especially as ill be living alone. i cant go for places that have no natural light or are four stories up or are a mile away from the train#station bc that will wreck my mental health and i wont have ready access to socialising that can stabilise me. gotta be fair#to myself. but THATS PROVING REAL DIFFICULT#im doing good saving though so thats nice i guess. fuck me moving is expensive. moving when you've got zero kitchen supplies is#even more so. gonna be an Interesting first couple days in the new place.#it will be. very bad. they keep texting me asking about it and i have to be positive bc otherwise itll become a conversation about#field all that shit when im like this. i just cant. that requires so much fucking energy i dont have. and i wont move back#id frankly rather die. and trying to not say that and decline politely sucks. bc they get the look of#oh we're not good enough huh#and i can't field their fucking feelings. i either need a pause button or a fast forward. id take either one#so many of these tags ended up out of order whoops. but these arent meant to be read anyway#i just need to scream bc idk what else to do
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research as a (future) historian is always so fucking depressing istg
#cay whining about shit#no but like it's good that it's depressing yk? cause what happened was fucking aweful#and that is still a very nice description of what happened#so it's good that i think of it as depressing#but sometimes; just sometimes; i wish my research could be about a happy topic in history yk?#cause they existed too#i should probably explain that my research today is about a person who was murdered in a concentration camp#and that research has led me to the wikipedia article about the death marches at the end of ww2#came close to crying countless of times#only reason i managed not to actually cry was bcs i'm at work#and now i feel sick after seeing the pictures on that same article#i don't think (nor hope) i'll ever understand how people could have been so cruel#it makes me disgusted and sad#anyway that's just me rambling in the tags that i don't think anyone will even see#maybe that's good#i just really needed to get this out
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I need to make Guz a wrestling costume <- this user is consumed by the brainrot brainworms
#i need something to draw him in other than his sweats for the body drawings fjdmdjkdl#I am working slowly at the drawing block !!! im able to draw pokeyman critters still YAY#so i can work on a digital WIP luckily of my current team in my platinum play through gjfkfl#but ppl... ppl are still iffy fjfkdl#the thing that happened that made everything go to shit was just parents saying some of the cruelest most appalling shit I've ever heard#from them specifically. like. it was awful fhfkdl just rly incredibly cruel ignorant bullshit#working thru it though in my brain djdlsl slowly but surely i am unraveling their claws from my brain again#ANYWAYS YEAH. wrestling costume time maybe dhkdls just to be a little silly#OH SHIT TOMORROWS WEDNESDAY!!! AEW TOMORROW YIPPEEEEEE#i gotta check the roster... see who's up tomorrow....#dandyshucks
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DPxDC prompt (demon twins au)
A video from your son, the email was titled. Bruce was confused. Which of his kids would send a video to his public work email??
Bruce clicked play.
On the screen was a boy who look a lot like Damian, but most certainly wasn’t him.
“This video is for the eyes of Bruce Wayne only.
Hi Dad. I’m Danny. You likely don’t know I exist, and if you’re receiving this, I’m already dead. Well, more dead than I already was. Maybe it’s cruel of me to send you a message post-mortem, but you deserve the truth, and telling you earlier would’ve put you in danger.
This email is set to automatically send if I haven’t opened my computer for 3 days. I sometimes set it longer if I’m on vacation or expecting trouble, but I’ve mostly likely been away from home for a bit over three days if you’re receiving this.
I don’t know who killed me. Obviously. I’m recording this in advance. But it was probably either the GIW or my adoptive parents, the Fentons. I half-died at 14 and became a local ghost superhero, but they never realized I was trying to help and kept talking about tearing ghost-me apart molecule by molecule, so I bet that’s what happened. There will be nothing left of me to bury. Sorry about that!
The rest of the story is this. I was raised in an assassin cult, eventually escaping at the age of 6 when they sent me on mission and I successfully faked my death.
My biggest regret is that I escaped alone. And that’s the reason I’m reaching out to you.
You’re a civilian. If you know too much about the League of Assassins you’ll be in danger. But I need you to save my twin Damian. He’s likely still there after all these years. He never wanted to escape; he took pride in being the heir to the league. He’s probably going to be stabby; he’s an assassin after all. But it’s not his fault. Ra’s - our grandfather - brainwashed him a lot more than he brainwashed me because Damian was more susceptible to it. It’s not his fault. Please. Save him. I’m begging you. My biggest regret is leaving Damian in the league. You have a chance to save him. Please, please do it.
I wish it would’ve been safe for me to get to know you. You seem like a cool dad, from what I’ve seen of you on the news with your oldest kids. I bet you’re like that with the youngest you hide from the public too. I wish you all the best. Thank you for listening.
Your long lost almost certainly dead by now son, Danny Fenton.”
Bruce took a second to process this, then picked up his phone and dialed his youngest’s number.
“Father.”
“Damian, did you have a twin named Danny?”
“…Who told you?”
Bruce hung up and sent Damian the video. He needed a minute to process this anyway.
Damian called back a few minutes later, after watching the video.
“Father. I do not care what state he is in. We must discover exactly what happened to Danny. Even if there is only a single molecule left. We must discover the truth.”
“I couldn’t agree more, Damian.”
Dealer’s choice on whether Danny is alive. The few ideas I have for this are:
- they find him mid-vivisection and rescue him
- they find what’s left of him post-vivisection and post his core being crushed
- he’s perfectly fine and just forgot to open his computer (maybe clockwork made sure he forgot?) and now he’s panicking about the fact that his family knows about him and could be in danger. He wanted them to know he existed, not make themselves a walking target for the league by finding him and trying to bring him home!
- Jazz found the automatic email and, deciding to meddle in her brother’s life and him back to his family and maybe get a good parent for herself as a bonus, sent it early
- Technus decided to start shit and sent it while haunting Danny’s computer
- Clockwork screwed with time to make sure it got sent
Lmk what yall do with this!
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Hey, I love your Batfam work! Is there any chance you could do a whump/angst one of batsis being kidnapped by a villian(you can choose whoever you want) and she’s tortured for days with it being broadcasted to the Batfam while they try to track the footage. I feel kinda bad but can you do maybe some head trauma md severe burns? Maybe she has to be put in a medically included coma or smth because of the damage? Also is there any way you could include Barb and Duke along w/ the four robins? If not that’s totally cool! Sorry for the long request but I hope you have a great day!!
Anonymous Requested: batfam x batsib reader whos the youngest and newest robin and is just really goofy and doesn’t take anything seriously (ex: them blaring “who’s the (bat)man” on the comms during patrol [that songs stuck in my head i had to mention it]) and something happens, maybe their first close encounter to death or a run in with the joker and they just become a shell of who they were and stuff
Jokes On Me
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Note: My god im so sorry this literally took me forever to write, thank you so much for being patient. I've been trying to write this all week but just couldn't sit down for long enough to finish it.
Warnings: Torture, blood, burns.
Word Count: 2.5k
⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧
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“Y/N, turn that shit off.”
Jason grumbled at you over the coms. You had been blasting some wretched song that you’d found on the internet over and over again and it was beginning to drive him mad.
“Nope.” You said, popping the ‘p’ loudly.
“Seriously.” Dick deadpanned. He had found it amusing at first, but it was now beginning to test his patience.
Agitated, you sighed and turned off the music. “Fine.”
“Thank you.” Jason expressed gratefully, turning his eyes back to the road he was patrolling. The night was cool and quiet besides the odd dog walker or couple returning from an evening out. It was one of those nights where patrol would end early and he could return home to take a warm bath and read a book before turning in for the night. Or so he thought.
You were rounding the corner, humming that tune that was still stuck in your head when his laughter ricocheted across the walls. You stiffened, eyes widening and hands fumbling for your weapon as your breath hitched. No amount of turning and craning your head allowed you to catch a glimpse of the dreaded figure, and you thought for a moment that perhaps it had just been a trick of your mind, or one of your brothers playing a cruel joke on you as payback for winding them up earlier. But then you heard it again, only this time to your left. You clutched your weapon tighter, eyes scanning the area with a new found sense of urgency.
“Wing…” You whispered into the coms so quietly that you were surprised he heard it.
“What now?” He somewhat snapped.
“We have a problem.”
Dick’s heart sank through the floor, his ears pricking up and his demeanour changing completely. “Where are you? What’s the matter? He was trying to let his panic show, but you hadn’t been patrolling as a vigilante for very long, and while you were well trained, you lacked the experience to deal with something big on your own. And from your tone of voice, he could tell that you were in some deep shit.
Jason worked his legs harder to push himself to reach the direction he had seen you head off in. Albeit it seemed even his hardest wasn’t enough.
When he stepped out of the darkness, the first thing you noticed were his eyes. Wide and bright, easily mistakable for a cat’s as they flashed in the darkness; wild. Rabid. As he emerged fully with that infamous twisted grin splayed out on his face, you felt like a cornered animal; a deer in headlights. You froze, unable to move despite how your heart screamed at you to run as it pounded, trying to break free from your ribcage.
“He’s here…” A mere whisper sliding over your tongue, so fragile that you weren’t even sure if you had actually said it aloud. Jason had heard it.
“Who?”
The Joker was circling you now, dragging out his strides in lazy circles. You should have fought but in that moment all of your training had drained out of you, along with the colour in your face. He smirked, leering down upon you as you tried to keep your trembling hand still. He pouted in mockery and at your silence, Jason repeated his question to you, but you never got the chance to respond.
“Oh…Just an old friend, Jay-bird.”
“Joker.” Urging his body to move faster, Jason grit his teeth.
Dick paled. “You leave them alone.” Dick spat. It tried to be a command, but the effect was lost somewhere in transmission.
The joker pursed his lips, tilting his head as he analysed. One of his hands had found his way to your jawline and he trailed it with a cold, gloved hand. You wanted to lean away, to run and find your brother but you knew that now he had you in his grasp there was no point in even trying. “And why would I do that? They’re right in front of me. I could just…snatch them up.”
“Don’t you dare!” Dick was frightened now. “Y/N, you stay there as long as you can, okay? You fight. We’re coming, you hear?”
The Joker frowned at you. “D’you hear that? Big brother birdy coming to the rescue. How sweet.”
His grip on you tightened. “Too bad you’ll be long gone by the time they get here.”
With one swift motion, he had thrown you harshly to the side, your head colliding with the wall with a sickening crack.
The two boys skidded to a halt just a second too late. You were already gone.
~
Your head hurt when you woke up. Your eyes squinted against the sterile light. They did no favours to your pounding headache. With a groan, you tried to twist, to roll over and soothe the crook in your neck but instead all that happened was the jinging of a metal chain. You craned your head and spotted the thick chain that had been wrapped around your wrist, confining you to the chair. Struggling, you tugged on them, trying to free yourself only for them to rattle and scrape against your skin.
“Yeah, that’s not going anywhere, birdy.” The joker chided.
You glared at him through narrowed eyes, trying to mask the thumping of your heart. The joker grinned wildly at your frightened complexion.
“It was such a shame that Grayson and Todd didn’t get to you in time, but it was far too easy to catch you, little bird: you completely froze.” He snapped his fingers to emphasise his point. “Didn’t batsy teach you better?”
“Don’t talk about them.” You snapped.
The joker raised his hands, palms facing toward you in surrender: taunting you as if you were the one with the power in the situation. “Touchy subject I see. Too bad.”
He gestured above you to an incessantly blinking light. “Smile for the camera, you’re live.”
~
Babs had been monitoring the street cameras when the computer beside her flickered to life. She had been searching for any sign of you ever since Dick and Jason came flying through the grandfather clock. Everyone was on edge.
The moment the screen flashed on, her eyes perked up to watch it, alarmed. She hadn’t turned it on. And there were very few people who could bypass the caves system. So when she saw a small frame curled up in a chair she knew immediately what was up.
“Duke…” she called to the dark haired boy who was trying to help decipher your whereabouts. “Go and get B.”
It did not take long at all for everyone to gather around in the cave. Duke was fast, and everyone dropped what they were doing to race down: even Alfred had taken his leave from his duties to see.
It was almost like some sick irony because as soon as they were all there, you began to scream. A guttering, perfect scream that cut that through them like a knife: unclean and pinging into them messily again and again.
The joker had taken a knife to your left thigh, his smile dripping with malice as he watched the camera, somehow knowing that at least one of them would be watching.
Your face was contorted in pain, twisting in agony as tears rolled flatly down your cheeks from fearful eyes. Damian felt sick, his stomach churning. Jason wanted to leave. But all of them were stuck watching. Barbra was tapping away, trying to locate the signal from the video to no avail.
“I hope you’re watching this Batsy…” He moved round to trail your face with the edge of the knife. You whimpered. “I’ve got your little bird here and I must say, you need to work on their training. They were far too easy to catch.”
Bruce felt his jaw tightening and Tim had to place a hand on his arm to remind him of his place.
“Anyway I thought we would play a little game… how long can little y/n survive for. I wonder if it’ll be any longer than our very own Jason Todd.”
Jason twitched.
“I’m testing you here, Bat. Tick Tock.”
The transmission cut to black.
~
It seemed hopeless. Even though they had been searching for days, they were no closer to finding you. And to make matters worse, they could see you. Not long after the first transition ended did it start up again. It had been lifestreaming since then, and although they had tried to block it from their minds, it was hard to ignore. Especially when your agonised screams ricocheted throughout the halls.
You looked like hell. Dark bags occluded under your eyes and there wasn’t an inch of your skin that wasn’t marred or stained with drying blood. The burns were worse. Damian could still hear the scream you let out when the joker first brought the hot poker to your skin. It had bubbled and blistered as the skin peeled away; you had thrashed against your restraints violently. Tim was certain that they were going to get infected if they didn’t reach you soon.
It felt as if they had searched everywhere. Dick and Jason had even asked around to see if anyone had heard anything, going as far to talk to the Jokers closest associates in Arkham, but even if they did know, nobody said anything. Duke had even gone as far to go back to the area to use his powers to see if he could trace anything, but nothing seemed out of place; they had hit a brick wall. That was…until a small light appeared on the monitor. Babs had managed to trace the signal to a small building on the outskirts of the city.
They were suited up in minutes, making a beeline for the building. They stormed it, recklessly taking down the Joker's goons before Batman chased wildly after the Joker, his face stony and his fists burning with anger. The other four boys chased down the winding corridors, flinging open the doors until they found one that was locked. Tim wasted no time, picking the lock with ease he peeled it open. His breath hitched when he saw you.
Your face was gaunt, hanging low by your chest. Your suit was torn and there was less of it on your body than there was ripped away. You looked so fragile as your chest heaved sporadically.
Jason nearly had to take a step back. This place reminded himself too much of his own encounter with the Joker not too long ago. But he pressed forward, fighting his instincts. He had to be strong. Instead of turning back, he kneeled in front of you, whispering your name. His hand came up to cup your face. You flinched away.
“It’s okay kid. It’s us.” He tried to reassure you, but you shrank back into yourself.
“We’re so, so sorry kiddo.” Dick tried placing a gentle hand on your arm before moving to work on the cuffs around your wrists. “We’re going to get you out.”
You said nothing, just continued to stare at the black space before you, and Dami wasn’t sure if you even knew they were in front of you. But when Jason moved away from you to help remove your restraints, your fingers latched onto him and you squeaked in protest.
He sighed shakily. “Don’t worry kid. I’m not going anywhere.”
Damian twisted from where he was guarding the door. “We need to leave.”
Dick nodded bluntly, finishing with the last of the locks. “I’m going to have to pick you up, okay sweetheart?”
You barely registered what he had said. Everything had grown numb, you nodded anyhow. Moving his arms underneath your legs and slipping one arm behind your back, Jason began to lift you. He nearly recoiled when you cried and whimpered with the way your wounds jostled as he sprinted out of the building to get you back to safety.
~
You were yet to say anything since you came home. You had been back a few days and your wounds were healing up nicely thanks to Alfred’s handywork, but the air was eerily silent around you. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t been communicating with them; you spoke to them with gestures or writing but no one was used to not hearing your voice. The stark contrast between your loud and bustling personality and you now was unsettling. No one wanted to push you too far but the manor was beginning to grow lonely.
It was one particularly rainy night when you finally spoke. You were curled up in a large armchair by the window in the library, sinking back into the plush leather as you watched the raindrops race down the glass. Jason had been watching you from afar, contemplating whether to talk to you or not when he walked over.
“What are you up to?” He asked you, making sure you knew that he was there before he spoke.
You gestured toward the window,then to the half opened book at your feet and shrugged.
“I see.” He nodded, taking a seat on the armchair opposite you. A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Jason wasn’t much of a talker. He knew more than anyone what you were going through, which was why it was nice just to know that he was willing to sit with you, just so you knew that he was there if you needed him. It made you feel safe. But you also couldn’t help but feel guilty, and frustrated with yourself for being in a place that made him feel as though he had to do that.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered.
Jason had to do a second take. His heart swelled. “What for?”
You sighed. “This. When I saw him…i-i froze. If I had run then this would never have happened.”
“Shh. This isn’t your fault.”
“But-”
“I promise, Kid. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
You nodded, looking away from him. But then you furrowed your brows and turned back to him. “How did you do it? How did you deal with this, Jay? Every time I close my eyes he’s there.”
“I guess I don’t, really. Or sometimes it feels like I don’t. I still get scared sometimes. I still see him in my dreams. But over time it gets easier. I had people around me to help me. And so do you, kid. We’re here. We’ll always be here.”
Jason shifted to brush away a rogue tear and you leaned into his touch and then wrapped your arms tightly around his middle.
“I’m here. Always. We’ll get through this together.”
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BATFAM TAGS
@aestheticdaisies @hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @mamapucket @hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff @alicedawitchbish
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#batfam x reader#Batfamily x reader#dc x reader#dc#batfam#dick Grayson#dick Grayson x reader#hurt/comfort#nightwing#nightwing x reader#Jason Todd#Jason Todd x Reader#batfam x sibling reader#red hood#red hood x reader#batfam x injured reader#Tim Drake#Tim Drake x Reader#red Robin#red Robin x reader#Damian Wayne#Damian Wayne x Reader#robin#robin x reader#writing#angst#whump#duke Tomas#barbra gordon#Batman
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The "Hornsent deserved it" sentiments make me lose my goddamn mind
Short answer: No they didn't.
Long answer: Oh my gooooooooooood can we NOT do this shit, please???
There are two underlying sentiments to this line of thinking.
The Hornsent hurt Marika's people, thus Marika did nothing wrong, therefore they deserved to die badly
The Hornsent hurt Marika's people + Midra and some others, Marika is still evil, but the Hornsent deserved to be destroyed
Both may even come to the extreme of "Messmer wasn't cruel enough" or some other nonsense in the same vein.
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Number 1
To tackle number one, we need to remember a little thing called Elden Ring's base game. The Hornsent's jar ritual is undoubtedly abhorrent, that much is true. But I urge you to remember the things that happened during Marika's reign. She:
Murdered all of the Fire Giants but one, subjecting him to a fate similar to hers but worse, forced into labor confined on the mountain among the remains of his people and culture. She mocked him, to boot. All of this because they might have burnt the Erdtree.
Enslaved the Misbegotten from birth "or worse" because their species just so happened to have made contact with the Crucible.
Rewarded her own loyal Crucible Knights with scorn because of it too, as they didn't fit her current society that they fought to establish.
Made sure the Albinaurics were seen as lesser just because they were graceless, which influenced the way they were treated. She even had her Inquisition, run by Rykard, torture them in needlessly cruel manners, as they appear to be their main victims.
Just in general, she allowed Rykard to run a sadistic Inquisition to torture heretics to the Golden Order in the first place, and she saw nothing wrong with it or their practices.
She entombed the entire Great Caravan over a false rumor, which is the sole reason why the Flame of Frenzy was even a problem during her reign. This has also scarred the remainder of their people greatly.
Made the lives of all Omen a living hell either by cutting their horns just as they were born which often kills them, hunting them down in as cruel a way as possible by using their trauma and body parts against them, or throwing them in a sewer to fester with evil spirits hidden from view. She also used to shackle them, including her two children, just to make extra sure they wouldn't crawl out.
Shunned anyone who saw a vision of the Erdtree burning, regardless of who it was, and chased them away from their homes.
Literally allowed the belief that shorter people are somehow lesser, for apparently no reason at all (her most random discrimination decision tbh). This forces them to band together and take up honorless jobs just to get by, and in turn, people start to spread rumors of their inhuman practices, which are likely all untrue.
Had people literally work as slaves for the nobility just by virtue of "being born into obscurity", whatever that means. As well as other accounts of slavery like the Fallen Hawks (likely tied to the defeated soldiers of ancient Stormveil).
Likely endorsed viewing anyone without Grace as inferior beings, which includes the Tarnished that only exist because she divested them of it. She has done nothing to ease their discrimination (despite potentially seeing them as a future asset of sorts), as even the members of the Crusade are more than ready to kill us, like Fire Knight Queelign.
All of this was done in service to HER religion and order. Killing all the Fire Giants and burying the Nomadic Merchants alive? Oh, they could have ruined her age with those pesky flames of theirs.
Systematically oppressing Omen, Misbegotten, Albinaurics and the likes? Oh, they are impure creatures, unlike her people, blessed with the Grace of Gold, elevated from the rest. (Which is the exact same line of thinking as the Hornsent and their horns for crying out loud).
"Oh but the Hornsent stuffed her people into jars" yeah, and I am not arguing the contrary! It was a cruel, deranged practice, born of simple superstition that their victims would be reborn as "good people". But Marika's answer if you don't fit her vision of the world is to either get rid of you and your people through extermination, by literally hounding you from your rightful home, or by enslaving you.
Both sides are genuinely awful... but there's only one side that people are justifying, and it sure as hell isn't the Hornsent.
Marika's backstory is meant to make her less a god, which is all we have ever known her to be before the DLC, and more a human, which is what she once was. It gives her complexity as a character, it's meant to be the catalyst from which we learn why she took the path that she took. It is absolutely not meant to make us go "holy shit guys, Marika was the good guy all along???", because what she brought upon this world through her burning desire for vengeance has ruined it irreparably, and ruined the lives of most of the creatures who inhabit it.
This includes her ruthless, honorless, pointless Crusade against the Hornsent. Sure, it was her own son that started it, but it was for her sake. It was her who allowed him to wage it, he had her full support... until the thing turned to such a slaughter-fest that even she could not associate with it anymore due to how appalling it all was. And what better way to do that than to seal her own son away to wage war endlessly? And not just because his actions made her look bad, but also for the same crippling fear and prejudice that saw her kill all Fire Giants but one and scar the Great Caravan.
Gratuitous violence across the board, and for what?
(I want to make it absolutely clear that I don't mean you can't like Marika now. In fact, I'd say the DLC made her much more of an interesting character to me as well. I just cannot fathom seeing the entirety of Elden Ring and coming out thinking "wow Marika was the good guy" because she isn't. Heck, coming out thinking that she'd be disgusted with what her grandson Godrick is doing with grafting as if she isn't the queen of having zero empathy for those who are graceless or aren't her family, which the Tarnished he grafts are neither. She'd probably be very proud if anything. Marika is a monster. She became one the moment she obtained godhood, because no milestone would quell her. She did all the wrongs, so take this whole section as a refresher in case you had forgotten)
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Number 2
Now, to tackle number 2... this one seemingly has more nuance, but falls for the tried and true pitfall of "the many must pay for the crimes of the few" which is exactly where it rots and collapses onto itself.
Apparently, because of the perpetrators of the Jar Rituals, ALL Hornsent, INDISCRIMINATELY, deserve to be destroyed. They all, each and every single one, deserve the Crusade and the absolute pointless ruin that it brought them. From the children, to the ones who were friends with people with no horns, to the ones who found their own practices grotesque, to the ones that weren't even tied to the Tower's religion and were just simply living their lives.
They ALL, EQUALLY deserve to be burned, to have their cities destroyed, to have their lives ruined. All of them. Ok.
Number 2 works with the assumption that the Hornsent are some sort of hive mind. Some sort of all-encompassing religious order who believes in their superiority. But that's just the Tower's religion. Hornsent are a people. And people are individuals, with their own opinions, their own lives. In fact, from the perspective of the average Hornsent citizen, they were attacked out of nowhere as they were living in peace, which likely means they weren't even at war with Marika before this event.
People also have the assumption that all of the Hornsent were benefiting from their society, which is blatantly false. In fact, outside the treatment of the Shamans, the people that we know the Hornsent have hurt the most are their fellow Hornsent. We know of quite a few of them suffering at the hands of their kin BECAUSE of their religious and cultural practices.
Being Hornsent isn't a "free from mistreatment" card. If anything, the large Gaols where they were imprisoned were built specifically to house them. The main prisoners we find in large numbers are commoners, the same types as the ones scavenging the ruins of their ravaged towns. They are often seen eating maggots off the floor and cowering in fear. All of them were Hornsent too, locked away for who knows what crime. Could have been big and important, small and insignificant, or even just a failure to do something properly (there's precedent), point is, it's clear the Hornsent weren't having a good time in there.
The jar rituals were used mainly as punishment for the imprisoned Hornsent themselves, as a way to have them become "good people". This was just as horrifying for the Hornsent prisoners as it was for the Shamans I assume. Look how terrified this Hornsent seemed at the prospect of sharing that fate. This is the reason why they chopped up Shamans in the first place, as ritual ingredients for a punishment meant primarily for their kin.
And there were more Hornsent who suffered because of the leading ideology. Curseblades were once shunned because they failed to become tutelary deities, and so they were thrown in the Jar Gaols. They were only let out so they could use their expertise and flowing movements to defend their homeland when Messmer invaded, otherwise they'd be rotting with the Innard Shamans and the other Hornsent prisoners the way Labirith is.
It's also worth pointing out that Midra's Mense was filled with Hornsent attendants who sided with their sagely master regardless of his lack of horns and what the Inquisition believed of him. If we were to operate with reasoning number 2, they too would deserve to be murdered in the Crusade because they just so happened to be Hornsent. Because ALL Hornsent deserve extermination for what happened to the Shamans.
And we also know that the Hornsent can find what happens in Bonny Village revolting. In fact, we know that from someone who was born and raised there.
This sounds nothing like someone who thought any of that was ok. So who is to say other Hornsent weren't like this too, especially those who DIDN'T live in Bonny Village? Those who risked being stuffed into those same jars themselves? We make waaaay too many assumptions about an entire race, and that in itself is foolish enough.
If there's someone to blame, it's the Tower's Inquisition. They are the religious order that governs the Hornsent. They have all the power in their society... and yet, would you look at that? Enir-Ilim, their sanctum, the one place where those calling the shots reside, is completely untouched. And what about Bonny, the most structurally fine Hornsent settlement, when you'd expect it to be a black stain of char by now. But nope, no sign of Messmer activity and the Greater Potentates are just running around naked, doing their thing as usual.
The Crusade isn't even a good tool of vengeance, the only ones suffering are the civilians who were likely the ones with a higher risk of ritual jar punishment anyway. If this isn't proof enough that the Crusade is a completely petty, useless revenge war that accomplishes nothing I don't know what else to say. I'll just leave with what the people taking part in it were taking pride in doing.
These are people who, without a shadow of a doubt, would have chopped up most of the oppressed groups described earlier and stuffed them into jars if Marika had told them to do so. (Heck, something like this was being done to the Albinaurics already, as we have seen previously...)
They have zero moral superiority, their deranged zealotry is the only reason they act in the first place. Not to mention that they have no connection to Marika's struggles or past, nor were they informed of them I bet. It's likely only Messmer truly knows the reason for the Crusade, and that's only because he is her child and shoulders all the blame onto himself.
"Those stripped of the Grace of Gold shall all meet death" is LITERALLY their motto. Do you really think they stopped at the Hornsent? They were just their main target, but judging by the way all of Messmer's soldiers, including Queelign and the other Fire Knights, and even HE HIMSELF, attack us on sight for the simple fact we are Tarnished and lack Grace in our eyes, I have no doubt in my mind these people were just rounding up and killing anyone who didn't conform with the Golden Order.
THESE are the people who should be allowed to play judge, jury and executioner with the entire Hornsent race. And people will genuinely, with a straight face, tell you "That's right".
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To conclude... I think I actually hate reasoning 2 more than reasoning 1 lol, despite not liking either at all. At least 1 is understandable. Marika is a very interesting character, one that we have known for a few years now. We have an attachment to her, heck, sentiments of her being some sort of misunderstood/rebellious figure were already there before the DLC. In that regard, I understand the emotional response, even though I still think it's a wrong mindset to have. I have at least some hope that it is purely in the realm of fiction because it's a beloved character, nothing more...
Reasoning 2, on the other hand, attempts to be nuanced, or at least pretends to be. In reality, all it peddles is the "an eye for an eye" mentality which is much too common irl as well. Not only that, but it deals in monoliths. All people belonging to a group or race are equally responsible for stuff they didn't even commit, stuff that could have even harmed them, because their leaders decided to commit crimes against another set of people. And don't get me wrong, there will be even commoners from that group or race that will agree with and celebrate that bad deed, but just as many will not, but will be either scared, powerless, already being punished for speaking up through physical violence or elaborate shunning, or currently protesting and doing something to hopefully ignite a change.
But that reasoning only exists to perpetuate cycles; of war, violence, and hate for the most part. And sadly, this mindset is very prevalent, a lot of people fail to see the issue with wanton violence as long as it's to stroke that lust for vengeance. And vengeance is a theme that Elden Ring criticizes multiple times in a row, even beyond the obvious horror of the Crusade.
#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#queen marika the eternal#hornsent#messmer the impaler#queen marika#marika the eternal#it's just something that has been on my mind for some time#in general though I did want to do a list of Marika wrongdoings#tying it to a post about the Hornsent just felt fitting too#these sentiments are just... so ass#val-post
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I really need y'all to understand that answering to transmascs who complain about being invisible "yeah but see, transfems are being actively murdered so you have it easier" is batshit. Because one of the hardest part of being invisible is that transmascs are, too, being actively murdered, but we don't know who the victims are, if we even know it happens at all.
One time I got told that transmascs don't deal with homelessness and involuntary sex work and when I said that every transmascs I know have dealt with both in one way or another, myself included, I got told "that's just your surroundings, in a grander scheme that's false". How fucking cruel can you be ?
You think I don't see trans men and transmasc people scattering newspapers and the web every year during TDOR because the ones we lose are almost never on the fucking lists ? And we should be happy and glad we don't know about them ? It isn't bliss to live knowing that if some of my friends die they'll most likely be misgendered and you can't do shit about it. It's not peaceful to see how trans men and transmascs' deaths are always downplayed, treated like it's not the Real Brutal Deaths that deserve to be adressed (and don't tell me nobody says that, I've been in queer spaces long enough).
We shouldn't be asking for basic fucking decency from our peers. Don't treat us as disposables.
#transgender#trans#genderqueer#lgbtqiaplus#lgbtqia#queer#genderfluid#transmasc#ftm#ftx#tw death#hate crime cw#cw transandrophobia#tw transandrophobia#transandrophobia tw#tw anti transmsculinty#tw anti transmasculinity#anti transmasculinity#tw suicide#transandrophobia#exorsexism#trans masc#trans masculinity#transmisandry tw#transmisandry#queer issues#trans issues
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