#and symptoms of several too
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chaos-in-one · 2 years ago
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Friendly (or unfriendly if you're against this) reminder that this blog is supportive of ALL disorders. This blog does not think ANY disorder inherently makes someone a bad person, and is against any disorder being demonized. This blog wholeheartedly believes that a bad person having a disorder, yes, even if things that are also symptoms of their disorder are part of what caused harm, does not make the disorder a "bad" or "evil" disorder or excuse ableism and demonization directed towards the disorder.
Yes this includes personality disorders
Including npd and aspd
Yes this includes all psychotic disorders & disorders that cause psychotic symptoms
Yes this includes paraphilic disorders. All of them.
Yes this includes disorders that cause, or are even characterized by, attention seeking
Yes this includes disorders that directly have lying as a common symptom
Yes this includes dissociative disorders
Yes this includes any disorder with "gross" symptoms
Yes this includes physical disorders too
Yes this includes disorders that can cause loss of control of any kind- control of speech, control of body movement, etc.
Yes tis includes disorders that make someone "look scary"
This goes for literally any fucking disorder. There are not exceptions.
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projectiondepartment · 4 months ago
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huge if true but painkillers being the basal structure of the show also makes a lot of sense to me like ur in pain (woe) so you huff ether, which gives way to frolic, then the experience is over so dread, followed by life seeping into you again so malice (hence ether as the 'sweet oil of vitriol) and the whole cycle starts over...that becomes the way you experience life hence the 4 tempers -> which would also make sense for the expansive function of severance as a painkiller (going from work-specific to eventually eliminating any painful or unsavoury experience entirely) and how that would or could be marketed since lumon is fundamentally a big pharma company
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pumpkinpenguin · 8 days ago
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ordinary man - mitya
i was supposed to work on ttid and in a way i kind of did... DESPERATELY NEED TO GET ON WITH IT BC I NEED YOU GUYS TO SEE THE DYNAMIC I HAVE FOR THESE TWO IN MY HEAD!!! you don't understand... it's so peak...
textless below
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also i didn't do the complementary/opposite color thing i normally do when i use bright colors bc i liked how it looked without it. it would've been too busy imo...
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ispyspookymansion · 4 months ago
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why is every diagnosis of mental illness so connected to other things. Dont tell me its because diagnoses are just groupings of symptoms that often overlap and are impacted by one another and are not ontologically pure conditions that exist in isolation. Give me a different answer like The vitamin that controls mental illnesses is the same for all types and you are deficient
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realbeefman · 2 years ago
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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thefactsofthematter · 17 days ago
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a very sad and fucked up headcanon that came to me recently: roy kent has CTE
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themortaldraw · 1 year ago
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july is disability pride month, here's a skord link that Needs Salt
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spotaus · 2 days ago
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New Age AU (A Diplomatic Visit Pt. 3)
Hello hello! I actually hadn't added this to the queue until just this morning (because I wasn't sure if I was going to go back and do edits, but I did not, haha!). As of last time, Reaper has a lot on his mind, Geno has plans to interrogate Night's royal mage, and Night is just hopeful that they get along!
(I will preface again, edit-less posting, so I aplogize for anything that doesn't make sense, typos, etc etc. I wrote this in a haze a few days ago and just don't have time to go check it over again <3)
@ancha-aus, @papiliovolens, @mutzelputz I summon thee again! (And as always, just lemee know if u want outta the torment nexus of tagging haha-)
It was a fine morning. 
Reaper had retreated to his room, exhausted by the effort of the day, and had barely convinced himself to change into his bed robes before collapsing to the soft bed. 
He did not dream. He woke after what felt like only a few, blissful, minutes of sleep, the morning sun beaming down on his face through the un-covered balcony window and the sheer canopies which drew around the sides of the large bed. He’d hardly noticed, but the room was decorated in shades of deep red, and the sheer fabric was draped across nearly every surface in the room. It was a nice look, though he did wonder exactly where they had collected the fabrics from. 
The sunrise meant that it was time for him to get up and start a new day. New meetings, new greetings, and new news. This would be fine. He could handle a bit more diplomacy before he was plunged back into meetings regarding the treaty. While he did want to hear everything through, Reaper had already resolved to sign the treaty with Nightmare. He was a young king, a worryingly kind king, but a smart king. A smart king with many assets in his hand, guarded by his poker-face. He seemed too productive in enacting his change to have no bite to match his bark. Reaper was sure of that. 
So, as long as the deals seemed reasonable and fair, he would be able to watch the back of this young King. 
Those were the thoughts which swirled through his head as he dressed himself and prepared for a new day. His cloaks were much the same as the day before, only a lighter shade of black, one less all devouring of the light than what he had worn before. Still showy, but now he had established himself. He could afford a bit more comfort. 
Though, after he exited to find the Panther Knight, Dust, still stood dutifully in the space between Geno’s and his own door, and knocked to awaken his Mage, he wondered something else. Would Geno get along with this other mage? 
That thought plagued him, all through the time in which he waited in the hall for his Mage to emerge, as well as waiting to collect Nimbus, and walking to the dining hall to have breakfast before they had their first meeting. The Meet ‘n Greet of sorts. 
Geno was a headstrong monster. Top of his graduating class, hard-working to a fault, a perfectionist, stubborn, and prideful. Geno had done plenty of petty things since arriving to Sanctuary. In fact, on his third day a member of Reaper’s court had questioned the effectiveness of Geno’s crystalized spells, and Geno had asked for permission to demonstrate just how precise they could be. Reaper, unaware of his Mage’s proclivity for malicious compliance, activated a crystal and dropped it into the man’s freshly poured morning tea. The splash froze into the perfect shape of a dolphin… and tangled directly into the man’s beard, freezing carefully around every curl and strand. He’d dropped his cup in surprise and had an iced-tea dolphin hanging from his bear for a few, hilarious, moments before he’d grabbed it with his hand and broken it to pieces. Geno had just sat there, sit-eating grin on his face, as the rest of his court tried, and failed, not to giggle and laugh at the proceedings. 
All things considered, Geno was usually pretty blunt, but not unkind. It was just that, if this other mage dared to even question Geno’s casting ability, they might begin a rivalry no one could put a stop to. Reaper just prayed to the stars that they got along. That Geno wouldn’t be making anyone’s shoe mend to the floor or floating them in circles just fast enough to get them airsick. That would not help him find his brother. 
He’d just barely finished the food on his plate, (Which happened to be deliciously cooked pancakes by the way. He’d been distracted, but not enough-so that he had missed the intent baked in. Someone back in the kitchen really had a kind soul and a knack for perfectly crisped pancake edges.) when Nightmare stood from his seat across the table. 
For meals, it had largely just been the three of them. Nightmare, Reaper, and Geno. Dust, the Panther Knight, stood in their shadow but did not eat, and Nimbus begged to be allowed to eat when the soldiers did, so that he wouldn’t embarrass them. Reaper had insisted he wouldn’t, but Nimbus could not be swayed, so instead he was rushing about the room with that other servant from the first day. Gem? They had apparently shown Nimbus the ropes, because he was running around flawlessly, refilling cups and taking plates away to the back. It made it a bit lonely, at such a long table, but that did mean they were free to leave whenever they saw fit. 
Reaper must’ve been the last one eating, as Geno’s plate was already gone, and Gem leaned around their King to scoop his plates away. 
“I believe it’s about time we introduce our Mages, Reaper. Mine should be awaiting us inside of my private study.” Nightmare suggested.
Reaper just nodded, trying to contain a yawn. Geno practically shot up from beside him, and when Reaper shot him a questioning look, Geno just shrugged. 
“I wanna meet this guy. Not everyday you meet an item-infusing specialty Mage.” He muttered, almost sounding… excited. 
Reaper had been formally trained in combat casting, though he hadn’t needed to use it much, and the methods were deeply outdated. His natural magic did more than enough to keep him safe throughout the years and the odd understanding he’s grown to love of its properties? It was untraditional at best, and incomprehensible at worst. Or so Geno said when he explained it briefly. Never trained in modern casting methods, Reaper wasn’t even quite sure how impressive ‘item-infusing’ was as a skill. Geno’s magic made sense to him. 
Reaper followed Nightmare into the hall, coming to float beside him as they had done yesterday during the initial tour. Nightmare didn’t flinch away at his presence, which was good. 
They moved in relative silence, through the halls Reaper was only slightly recognizing, until they came across the Royal Wing. Reaper thought he just barely caught sight of one of the the knights, or was that the Trainee? He waved shortly back into the hallway, then turned out the opposite way that they were approaching from. He disappeared behind a corner, then, and Reaper chose not to bring it up. 
Then, before he knew it, they were at the entrance to Nightmare’s private study. 
They’d passed it on the tour yesterday, but he hadn’t really been looking at it. Now he could see that the door itself had an intricately carved tree on its surface. Below the handle-height stretched roots, above stretched twisting branches with thick leaves. Its surface was gorgeous, and practically unmarred by wear of the years it had do doubt been present. Beautiful craftsmanship that reminded him of back home in his own palace. 
Nightmare raised his hand upwards, but didn’t knock on the door. Instead, he brushed at the air in a slight arc, just against its middle hinge. Reaper was confused for a moment, but the door opened, swinging inwards, revealing a dimly lit room beyond. No one there to greet them in the doorway. 
“Greetings, my Mage.” Nightmare said into the calm quiet as he slipped through the open door and started moving to the left side of the room. 
Reaper followed, passing through the entrance easily, and continuing forward in an effort to trail Nightmare’s steps. 
“My King.” Greeted back the voice of who Reaper assumed to be the mage they would be meeting, though something about their tone sent Reaper a bit off-kilter. 
The room itself was fairly large for a study. A hearth sat stationed beside a low, wide table. Around that, were cushioned seats and couches. Just opposite the entrance was a display case, full of empty-eyed animals masks sitting untouched. He was pretty sure there were bookshelves lining the walls behind him and beyond the shadows cast by the hearth’s dim glow, and perhaps a desk to his back as well, but his gaze was drawn back to those near the hearth when he heard a sound that made his soul leap in his chest. Just behind him. 
A choking noise, one that sent a chill down his spine. Was geno-
“Error?” Oh, that was Geno alright, but-
“Geno?!” The other mage exclaimed.
It all happened so fast. Almost in an instant. 
Reaper felt as Geno rushed past his side, saw the blur of white, red, and black. Hot on his tail, however, was the Panther Knight. That static charge filled the room. Was he-
Reaper reached out before he could think, snagging the metallic back of the Knight’s breastplate where it peeked from under his short cloak. He isn’t sure how he reacted so fast. The thought of Geno in danger just-
Shit! 
Reaper lost his grip as a zap echoed through the room and registered in his head, just barely before the pain struck him. A ring of liquid fire burned at his wrist, where his protective glove met his bone. He retracted his arm quickly to his chest, watching a bit stunned as the Panther Knight vaulted over the back of the couch, and one of the tables, only to finally stop as he cut Geno off from his path. His path… right to the Royal Mage of Orchard. 
There was a silence. When Geno stopped in his tracks. Everyone had to be feeling that. The way the air itself seemed to buzz with that electric charge, and now Reaper could smell that dampness. It actually was manifesting into the room. A powerful storm magic. Much more powerful than Reaper had initially clocked this monster to have. How had he…?
Nightmare seemed startled. He’d just barely sat down before the flurry of movement. Reaper noticed his thin eyelight, and the way he grasped the sleeve of his mage. He was afraid. He wasn’t calling off Dust. not this time. 
And the Royal Mage…
He was a skeleton, not unlike the rest of the inhabitants of the room. His bones, though, seemed to be a naturally deep obsidian color. His sockets glowed with mismatched eyelights, both small in surprise, yellow and blue and white, set against a deep red socket. Blue markings traced down their face, almost resembling tears. His outfit was made up of dark clothes with vibrants blues, yellows, and reds. The red was so familiar. Reaper just couldn’t place it. 
He was tense, pushed up against the seat as though he might attempt to scramble over the back in a hasty retreat from the onslaught of the High Mage’s advance. The Panther Knight’s blockade. 
Geno’s hands shook. He was clutching at his scarf, as though debating if he should throw a crystal at the Knight. 
Reaper wasn’t sure what to do. If everything was adding up as he was processing it, then-
“Sir Dust, I-i-it’s alright. He’s not gonna hurt me.” The Mage’s voice came out low, and cautious, and with a little stutter to one of the words. It was just as Geno had described it to him, all those nights ago. 
The Panther Knight seemed hesitant. Much like he had been before with Nightmare. 
“I- I would never hurt him. I would never hurt you Error. My baby brother…” Geno voiced, in a voice that felt so wrong. Much too small. Fragile. Wavering and uneven.
Dust glanced back. A moment of unsaid words moved between him and Error. Error seemed reproachful, but nodded. The knight took a step back. Then another. Then he moved so he was stood beside the hearth, entirely out of the way of Geno’s path. 
Reaper thought he had never seen his Mage move so quickly. He practically lunged over the corner of the table, arms outstretched, and collapsed into the couch as he wrapped Orchard’s Mage in his arms. Both of their hats were knocked loose in the process. Error, Geno’s youngest brother, was truly right there in front of them. 
It only took a few more seconds for the crying to start. In all his years of knowing Geno, he had seen him shed a few tears. He’d been a shoulder to cry on when the pain of his injuries grew too much to hold in. Yet he had never heard the man break out into sobs before. Loud, long sobs, only muffled by the fact that he had shoved his skull against Error’s. 
The young mage seemed startled by this behavior, and though he didn’t pull away from the hug, Reaper noticed that he didn’t raise his arms to return the gesture either. He seemed upset. 
Reaper found himself, awkwardly, making eye-contact with Nightmare from across the room. The King had not yet released his Mage’s sleeve, though now it seemed Error had a fistful of Nightmare’s own sleeve in his grasp as well. Error doesn’t like to be touched. He remembered briefly. It seemed both rulers were at a loss for words about what to do about this situation. It was obvious that neither of them had expected to be experiencing the reunion of brothers this morning. Especially not… one in which the older of the two had broken down into sobs. 
“Error… Error, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry-” Geno finally managed to mumble between his hiccups and gasps. His tears were still flowing, but he seemed to be coming to his senses again. Reaper could only imagine the weight that had taken from his shoulders. Blind, inimaginable relief. “We- Fresh was looking for you and- and I didn’t know you- I-” He gasped for air again. 
Reaper finally remembered that he was allowed to move, and gently eased himself closer so he could stand at the back of one of the cushioned chairs surrounding the low table. Now he could see the ceiling, only briefly illuminated by flickering firelight. Blue strings, strung like a spider’s web, covering the space past the rafters into the high roof. That was Error’s magic. The blue strings. 
“Why would you think that- that we didn’t want you, Error?” Geno, after a bit more worrisome apologies and half-stumbled sentences, finally came through with a full question. In Reaper’s understanding, the damning question. 
It seemed Error thought so too. 
All at once, his expression seemed to shift into one of frustration rather than confusion and discomfort. 
“Why? WHY?!” He asked, voice raising an octave as he yanked his one hand out of Nightmare’s grip. Was he trying to push away from Geno? “Because-!” 
What happened next was… a little strange. Reaper had been warned about this, too. This reaction, Error’s magic had when it encountered a foreign magic source that unsettled him, or he became too stressed. Geno had technical terms for it, ones that Reaper had forgotten. What he did know, however, was what he could see. What he could see, was the shiver that wracked through Error’s bones, and then the loud noise to follow, which sounded like a swarm of bugs had just invaded his ears. 
Reaper winced at the sound. Error shouted in what sounded like pain. 
The next thing he knew, Geno had thrown himself away. Back towards where Reaper was stationing himself. Error had pressed himself back against the couch and clasped his arms to his chest wearily. Dust had already taken the initiative to move back to Error’s side, evidently regretting letting geno so close in the first place. 
“I left, because you left! Whe-e-e-en I came home from school, F-F-Fresh was already gone! No food, no-no note, nothing! You ditched us first chance you-u-u-u-u got to go be a big shot. Fresh didn’t want to- to take care of me! Wasn’t e-even home when I got there! Again! Couldn’t go back-ack to school either!” Error practically shouted the words, glaring harshly at Geno. “No one came looking! You guys didn’t- didn’t want to- to- to deal with me anymore! Of course I left!” 
Error was left panting for air after his words. Geno stood there beside the table, a little hunched and a little disheveled. Tears were still trailing down his skull in little bouts, his hands clung now to the part of the scarf which wrapped around his neck. That scarf. Reaper recognized it now, Geno had told him once, when they first met, that his little brother had made it for him. 
“Error… please, you know that’s not true. I- I left so I could earn enough to afford a new house, in Sanctuary, for the three of us.” Geno seemed to plea to his brother, visibly deflating when Error didn’t seem to loosen up at all. “Fresh followed your magic trace all the way to that city with the colosseum. He’s been scouring for you everywhere, Error. He- he thinks you’re dead.” he added, which only seemed to make Error’s face contort further. 
Reaper wished he had any idea of what to do here. This was all that Geno had been begging for, for months, and yet it was not going the way either of them had hoped. 
To Reaper, it seemed like Error was about to launch into another hurt tirade, when another jarring noise quietly hit above the ambient crackle of the fire playing witness to all of this chaos. 
Hrgh-
Geno quickly raised a hand to his mouth. 
Shit, shit shit. Reaper caught sight of the bright red that Geno caught in his palm as he began to cough. 
He was hardly able to float forward fast enough to stop his Mage from keeling over onto the floor. Instead, he managed to wrap his arms at the taller skeleton’s waist as he curled forward and his legs seemed to give out. He was shaking. He’d overexerted himself. Reaper lowered him carefully backwards to sit on the couch opposite of his brother and gently extracted himself again, careful not to let his bare skull touch any part of Geno’s exposed bones. He was panicked, and didn’t want to risk anything. 
“Reaper, is he- is he alright? Should I call for a medic?” Nightmare’s worried voice rang out from behind him. 
Reaper was more focused on pulling a handkerchief from his robe pocket and placing it in Geno’s hand than he was on acknowledging the other king through sight. Instead he spoke with his back turned, very rude, but very necessary. 
“As far as I am aware, he will be fine in a few minutes. This affliction of his cannot be treated by healers, I’m afraid.” He informed easily, trying to keep his voice soothing. Geno had shut his one good socket, likely when he collapsed. His entire body was shaking, though it seemed he wasn’t coughing up any more marrow. That was a relief. 
“Yeah. He’s fine.” Error chimed in, his tone hostile and short. Though. “Put pressure on his sternum. Above the wound.” He added before falling silent. 
Reaper hummed, gently moving one of his hands away from where it supported Geno’s own, and instead he pressed down lightly in the location that Error had suggested. Then, when it didn’t seem to cause any immediate pain, a bit more firmly. And… Strangely enough, Geno’s breathing seemed to clear up. He wondered how that worked… 
“Thank you, Mage Error.” Reaper spoke, still not turning around. “I apologize that this meeting turned out to be so stressful for the both of you. I don’t believe that I had any clue as to you being my Mage’s missing sibling.” 
If nothing else, he could try to be diplomatic until Geno’s wave of pain had left him. 
Error only replied via a loud huff. 
“I was unaware as well. Error, I didn’t realize that you had living relatives.” It seemed Nightmare had some thoughts on the situation. 
That was fine. Reaper could just focus on making sure Geno was comfortable. He only had these black-outs every once in a while, Reaper knew they could end poorly if not treated with the utmost focus and care. 
“W-well I didn’t. I don’t. They didn’t want me, so I have no family.” Error seemed to stutter through his response to Nightmare. “I didn’t lie to you.” He insisted. 
Nightmare was quiet for a breath. 
“I know you didn’t. I would have felt it if you had. I just… I’m so sorry I didn’t know.” Nightmare was so quiet as he said so. 
“I-it’s fine. Not your fault, Night.” Error stammered quickly in response. Reaper hardly registered it. “Geno’s stubborn. If- If he really did want to find me, he would’ve no matter what. I just… I don’t know why he would. After all this time.” 
Reaper would’ve thrown in his two scents. All of the worry and fear and sleepless nights he’d witnessed from Geno over these past months? It was obvious to Reaper that Error was his entire world outside of his profession. He’d heard nothing but good things about this little, talented, reckless monster. Geno loved him. That… wasn’t his place, though. It seemed they had a more complicated relationship than he had initially thought, and he couldn’t in good conscious vouch for his Mage if he didn’t have the full story to pair. 
So instead he just continued to watch his Mage. Keep an eye on him until the spell had moved on. 
“I’m not sure, Error. It- it sounds like he didn’t know you were missing. Not until recently.” Nightmare attempted to explain, gently. Though he seemed hesitant. Who knew if Geno’s story were the truth, right? “Supposedly your- your other brother? He tried to find you. For some reason he didn’t reach out to Geno until recently to be honest about your whereabouts.” 
Error was quiet. 
Nightmare fell silent as well. 
Once again, for the third time in such a short period, the parlor fell silent aside from the crackling fire smouldering in the hearth’s stone frame. 
Geno’s breathing, much less labored than it tended to be in the midst of one of the spells slowly, so slowly, returned to normal. His bones stopped shivering under Reaper’s touch. He grew still. Groaned. Then slowly opened his socket, squinting against the dull light in the room. 
“Urgh. I did not mean to do that…” He rasped, staring at Reaper with a half-awake expression. Clearly he was still groggy from his little black-out period. 
Reaper only grinned gently down upon him. Even in such a disheveled state, Reaper loved to see his Mage well. “Glad to see you have made a safe return from your trip, my Mage. I assumed I will see you off again next fall?” Reaper greeted, eyelights turning to crescents as he watched his Mage process his words. 
“Mm, you know gravity always gets me down.” He mumbled halfheartedly, already moving to shift the handkerchief clutched loosely between his fingers so he could clean up his palm. 
Reaper seemed satisfied by that, finally floating off to the side, grasping Geno’s dirtied hand and snatching the handkerchief away so that he could wipe down the mage’s palm for him. He was still going to be uncoordinated for a while. 
Now, the both of them could see how the Nightmare and Error were doing. Nightmare was perched on the edge of the couch, his posture almost like that of a cat ready to pounce, only he was leaned every so slightly in front of Error. Meanwhile, said mage was still pressed to the back of the couch, though now he had pulled his legs up so he could hug his knees and hide his chin behind them. They both looked so small and young. And the knight, Dust, was standing ever vigilant at their side. The pain at his wrist still throbbed. 
Geno must’ve caught sight of them again, because he flexed his hand a bit, where Reaper had it cradled between his own gloves. 
“Error…” he muttered. Error stared at him. “I love you. More than you know.” he continued, despite Error’s incredulous expression. “I want to make it up to you. Anything we did to hurt you. Please.” At least it seemed he’d gained a more level-head after his stress got to him. That was good. 
Error still seemed hesitant though. He scrunched his nose and glanced over to Nightmare. His King didn’t seem to give him any guidance, only a worried look. Error looked back to them. 
“You found me. I’m alive. Find something else your boss wants so that N- King Nightmare’s fancy paperwork gets signed.” Error demanded. Reaper was a bit surprised at the demand, especially since Reaper was right there to hear it made. “And give me some space. It’s been two years since I left. Long time for a kid to go missing.”
That… would be a difficult demand to follow-through with.
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asurrogateblog · 9 months ago
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The Syd Poll
the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.
So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:
let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways
the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs
feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.
in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)
please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.
The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.
so. here we go.
READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^
(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)
#pink floyd#syd barrett#//#I will sacrifice myself and go first with way too much detail. hopefully it will help other people feel more comfortable talking#I chose consensual use of psychedelics. mainly bc I am fairly certain that he suffered from severe hppd#it stands for 'hallucinogen persisting perception disorder' –speaking crudely its 'did too much acid and got stuck like that'#I do NOT expect this kind of oversharing from anyone else but the reason I think that is because -I- definitely have that#its comparatively mild but I notice a lot of the same kind of impacts.#I'm more prone to dissociation and overstimulation. it takes more mental energy to communicate. my perception plays a bit fast and loose.#(again. it's not -that- bad. and NO pity for me this was a completely predictable outcome that I DO think is a little funny) but digressing#I can clearly see how if those symptoms were significantly escalated it would be just like what was described by ppl who knew syd#I think its very unkind to refer to him as a “drug casualty”#but I'm fairly confident anyone who's done acid would say by about hour 8 of the trip “okay. yah. too much of this could do that to someone#in other words –although I'm pretty sure syd was also neurodivergent– I do think its at least possible that the lsd couldve been enough#I'm happy to talk more about any of this in asks/dms if anyone wants. genuinely very cool with discussing it#but anyway. that's my take – obviously based entirely on anecdotal evidence tho so take that with as many grains of salt as you wish
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charleemoon · 2 months ago
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just found out will doesn't have severe vision issues and doesn't entirely need his glasses in general settings, and instead wears them to obscure and avoid eye contact with others. he's officially fucking out autismed everyone
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quill-of-thoth · 3 months ago
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Today (and yesterday, and last week... it's been one of those months, TBH) things got weird at work again. Background: I work in animal health but we are more about reportable disease and blood work than cute living patients. Therefore the office is one old vet, one young vet, and three lab techs, only one of them with a veterinary degree. The other two of us did envisci (me) and criminal justice. She does a lot of the Bloodwork.
Bloodwork is also the only one of us who was born and raised locally, a mormon, and the youngest by about one year. This means, since I now live in the same ecosystem as the LDS church, that our equally mormon local handyman keeps trying to set her up, because his uncle knows her dad or some other such - matchmaking is not ONLY the provenance of female relatives here. Bloodwork does not want to be set up. She wants to refurbish her great grandma's house for herself and her cats. The first time Handyman decided to take his break in our air conditioning and decided his only avenue of conversation was construction dudes he knew who Bloodwork should have coffee with (all most of a decade younger than her) I offered to run him out of the building. With a broom. This was not enough of a hint for him, and as such, Vet Tech and I have been regarding him with a sort of polite territoriality. Building inspections and repairs therefore go like this: We let him in. Bloodwork finds something to do besides play tour guide. Handyman blithely and with complete friendliness makes a casually sexist comment about what 'you ladies broke' or 'do you do anything but chat' and Vet Tech and I hackle up like a pair of lionesses. Politely. Some portion of Handyman's hindbrain realizes that even though he's twice the size of both of us, if we're lionesses he is the wildebeest. He goes to put a wrench in something, usually a pipe. Today we needed to fix the emergency shower in the lab, because the last thing you need if you get a corrosive acid on your face is scalding water direct from the water heater.
For those of you who never had to do the lab safety training: the emergency shower is a bright yellow overhead faucet designed to dump a fuckton of water on you in case of contact with chemicals. It is in no way partitioned, and is in the middle of the lab. Because time is of the essence if you are developing a chemical burn. If you get in there you're diving in fully clothed and also drowning your phone. It also has a separate little sink for rinsing specifically your eyes.
Enter Handyman. Handyman climbs first a ladder, then our filing cabinets, to get WAAAAY into the supply room ceiling. There is a pipe junction in there or something. We turn the eyewash on and take turns running our fingers through it to test the temperature, because we don't actually own a thermometer in the lab. Temperature is adjusted, Handyman plonks down on the floor to ask if everything is good. "If you ladies need to take a hot shower I can turn it back," he says, seemingly unaware that this could be taken as not the BEST thing to say at work. "We're good," says Vet Tech, "this means we won't scald your eyeballs."
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underachieverinlove · 2 months ago
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Why do some people just . list All of their mental ailments on their social media profile lol
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mars-ipan · 5 months ago
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fucking hell i hate being sick so much
#marzivents#before the autoimmune shit being sick was annoying but i could get through it#it was fine. i didn’t like it but it was always over in like 2-3 days#i wouldn’t even miss school unless i was running a noticeable fever#(though by high school i kinda stopped checking)#now though? being sick is so much more treacherous than before#i have to rest so much. log this symptom manage that symptom keep your doctors updated#don’t stress out too bad! don’t wanna trigger a flareup#it’s scary. a cold could land me in the hospital if i’m not careful#plus. the symptoms of a cold feel a lot worse when your autoimmune flareups start like colds#it’s just the worst. am i gonna have to spend the rest of my life afraid of the common cold#how the fuck do i go about being immunosuppressed without developing germaphobia#i know that in a year or two this will feel normal and i’ll be used to it#but right now it’s still new and it’s so so frightening#it feels like everyone is sick all of the time. at any given point in time 2 of my friends have some sort of cold#this winter season has been especially abysmal#but even before then. several folks i knew had walking pneumonia in the summer#there’s all these outbreaks always happening. it’s terrifying#plus there’s the inconveniences of missed class time#i don’t want to miss school. i like school. i want to go and learn and get my degree#but i have to rest so i can’t go to class which fucks up my grades which stresses me out#which makes me more likely to get sick later! it’s fucking awful#i dunno. i need to go to bed i think. i’m just… stressed and tired and sick of it
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halfricanloveyou · 7 months ago
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“hey so we’re gonna need you to focus up and pay attention and not talk for 3 hours straight. and no you can’t look at your phone or ask brief questions or think out loud and 98% of what will be said won’t apply to you.”
“also i know you have adhd and that you said your adderall wore off but so do i. you just have to learn.”
do you seriously think i am capable of that. what if i blew you up with a cool wizard beam attack? what if the beam was purple.
#this is NOT a threat aimed at anyone specifically AT ALL#i will not commit violence NOR WILL I CONDONE IT#but honestly i’m so fucking TIRED of being told to ‘just pay attention’ and ‘work harder on focusing’#i have a fucking DISORDER WHERE MY BRAIN DOES NOT FUCKING WORK CORRECTLY#well i have adhd too. everyone does.#okay? what type then? you on adderall? how many jobs did you lose because of it?#how many times have you almost had to deal with legal issues because of it? how many times did you almost fail college because of it?#i’m tired of ableism by people that ‘have adhd too’#you know good and goddamn well we aren’t all the same and severity and symptoms differ from person to person#honestly this is about a hobby that i love doing that i’m now considering quitting#i’m not the only victim to the overall ableism BUT#refusal to accommodate and demanding compliance in a space that’s supposed to be accepting#yeah no. i can’t sit for 4 fucking hours off adderal and do nothing#and it’s like i do do something for a cumulative 1 hour of that time#i am seriously considering quitting and it breaks my heart#adhd#ableism#i don’t want to but i also don’t want to deal with ableism everything i do something non neurotypical that people have decided is#‘distracting’#i’m making quiet comments under my breath not to anyone next to or near me#and i’m not really willing to go through the process of trying to explain this shit to ableists who claim having the same disorder makes#our experiences and disability levels the same#i’ve had to fight this shit my whole life. i do this hobby because it’s fun#it’s not fun if you’re gonna tell me to sit and do nothing for 4 hours and get mad when i stop paying attention#or if i ask questions or talk to myself.#i’m so fucking tired of this shit.#my grown adult ass is now at the point where i do whatever the fuck i want forever#and sitting around for 3 cumulative hours is not what i fucking want to do
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blackoutsys · 8 months ago
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honestly even though a lot of the doubt/denial has faded for me, i'm still expecting to get a different diagnosis or a different opinion when we actually reach that step
because despite the amount of research we did into both CDDs and the various disorders one can get misdiagnosed with [and vice versa], we're obviously still not 100% sure our symptoms match with it specifically, since with self-dx there's always a chance you misinterpret something [though we're fairly confident we can identify what's solely from our imagination/daydreaming vs what's coming from headmates, since we don't have control over that and we can't mimic them at all lmao]
we've got a pretty extensive list of every major thing we've experienced related to stuff, since we've been dealing with discovering our system for the past few years now, and generally kept everything well documented, but even with all of that we do still expect to have the opinions of professionals differ.
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heatlightning-mp3 · 6 days ago
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heds (for me) is like. one day you're throwing back flips and lifting children over your head and a few years later you're trying to find a good neurosurgeon that thats your insurance and treats multi-level atraumatic spinal cord injuries because you'd prefer to NOT become quadriplegic. happens 😌
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