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legendary-defender-of-fandoms · 1 year ago

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Because I’m stuck in the Rot, More Thoughts about Wreck it Ralph

I know, I know. It’s just a stupid kids’ movie about a bunch of stupid video game characters going on stupid adventures and making stupid jokes. This REALLY isn’t something worth obsessing over, especially with the myriad of dumpster fires that is The Real World right now. Who gives a shit about cartoons when there’s at least one active genocide, the US is going back to the Bad Old Days, and trillionaires exist?

But the thing is . . . I DO care. I care so much. And I know I shouldn’t.

I was the ABSOLUTE last person who should’ve liked the first Wreck-it Ralph. I knew no one in the cast by name or reputation, I missed the majority of the video game references (like not realizing Tapper was a real-ass game from the real-ass world until much later), and I only went to the opening weekend showing because I was excited for Paperman (the short that played prior to the movie, not the video game character). I told myself I was going to walk out as soon as the movie bored me. I thought I’d be there ten minutes.

And then, the movie started.

By the time the camera pushed in on the Fix-it Felix Jr. screen & we entered the world of the video game characters, I was glued to my seat. But it wasn’t until we faded in on Ralph sitting in his first Bad Anon meeting, pouring his heart & soul out to his fellow Bad Guys (and the audience) that I realized he was me.

I mean, not literally. Obviously. But as the movie kept playing, I kept feeling like someone had ripped out my soul & put it on the big screen. There have been other Disney characters I’ve liked or related to for surface-level similarities (She likes books? I like books! That kind of stuff).

But Ralph hit SO MUCH deeper. He was this guy feeling stuck in a role he wasn’t sure he was meant to play, feeling literally AND metaphorically out of place even in a world where he SHOULD have felt at home, tired of ALWAYS being compared to someone else and found lacking because HIS talents didn’t match the OTHER’S talents, desperate for someone, ANYONE, to see what he had to offer and say “You have value. You matter.” And there were other similarities - the short temper, the clumsiness/tendency towards accidentally breaking stuff, the gap in the top front teeth, etc. But it was the core of his character - feeling lost, being secure in his identity but looking for someone to see him & accept him - that truly resonated with me.

And the rest of the movie. I could talk about what was IN the movie, but I want to talk about what WASN’T in the movie. Like the Bad Anon scenes. It was silly because of who was there, but they played it DEAD serious in the movie. This was not a “D’oh hoh hoh, silly support group for silly people because mental health is for losers” scene - they paid support groups & mental health the respect they deserve! And it was inspiring that Ralph STAYED IN Bad Anon even after getting his “Happily Ever After.” Sure, it was probably just meant to be a framing device, but I saw it as mental health positivity. And there were spin-off short stories that carried the idea of Ralph staying in Bad Anon, further reinforcing the idea that support groups are helpful & there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help.

And for a plus-size character, Ralph has a surprising lack of fat jokes aimed at him in the first movie. I think Vanellope has one line about him having a go-kart “hidden in the fat folds of his neck,” but I think that’s because she wasn’t allowed to say “Well, unless you have a go-kart hidden in your ass crack.” And there are scenes in the first act when Ralph is clearly too big to comfortably walk through the Niceland Apartment or when his tummy bulges out when he straightens his stolen Hero’s Duty armor, but I saw those more as “Ohh, this is a visual representation of how Ralph feels out of place because this world wasn’t made to accommodate someone like him and/or he’s not prepared for what he’s about to get into” as opposed to “D’oh Ho Ho, he’s FAT.”

It was just so refreshing to see a movie that didn’t go for as many cheap shots as it probably could’ve. Ralph was treated with so much respect in the first movie, and it felt so nice to see someone who I resonated with so thoroughly not being treated like the butt of the joke. The movie became an instant favorite, and Wreck-it Ralph took over a special place in my heart & my brain. On bus rides home from college I’d be on my laptop making music videos about Ralph & Vanellope (NOT SHIPPING THEM AT ALL!!!!!!! I used songs clearly meant to convey familial love like “BBBFF” and “You’ll Be In My Heart”) I eagerly waited for Disney to give us console games based on Sugar Rush & Hero’s Duty (and yes, I DID buy the micro Fix-it Felix Jr. cabinet when it was offered at Walmart, and if there is ever a full cabinet game offered I WILL be the first to buy it, build it, and set every record possible for a cabinet game). When Motorchickensmile published their Love Bug fanfic on Fanfiction.net & posted their art on DeviantArt, I was HOOKED! If that was the ONLY sequel we ever got to Wreck-it Ralph, I would’ve died happy.

Then Disney announced the official sequel. And like the rest of the world, I was PUMPED! A little confused because Ralph didn’t have anything to do with the Internet and it seemed odd to get the arcade characters out of the arcade, but I was hopeful. After all, the first movie was beloved by old school gamers, new gamers, and folks who only knew Pokémon (I.e. me). SURELY they’d know what they were doing with online gaming!

And then I saw the sequel.

There are a lot of scenes from Wreck-it Ralph that live in my head. I saw the movie at least 4 times in theaters, and when the movie went on sale I was there the day it dropped to buy it & put the digital copy on my iPod. But you know that scene when Ralph destroys Vanellope’s go kart while she’s stuck in the tree, and she’s BEGGING him not to, SCREAMING in agony as he obliterates the first thing he ever made that someone saw value in, the promise of her future, a symbol of their shared outcast status but still being worthy? And you can SEE the misery in Ralph’s face, how he HATES doing this, but keeps going because he thinks he has to for the greater good?

Yeah, that’s what Ralph Breaks the Internet did to my perception of Wreck-it Ralph.

Gone were any traces of nuance, maturity, introspection, or even basic intelligence. NOW Ralph is a gross idiot who is SUPER clingy to Vanellope, regularly abandons his game during arcade hours (which, in case folks forgot from the first movie, was a SUPER BIG DEAL THAT COULD’VE ENDED HIS WORLD & KILLED THE NICELANDERS), throws temper tantrums & blubbers like a baby when things don’t go his way. Ralph goes OUT OF HIS WAY to endanger Vanellope just to keep her close, and he NEVER holds himself accountable! The first movie was all about Ralph learning that self worth can’t be measured in medals, but in the sequel he is CONSTANTLY flashing his cookie medal like it’s supposed to mean something. Don’t even get me STARTED on all the fat jokes. And even BEFORE Ralph ruins Sugar Rush, you get the sense that while HE’S obsessed with Vanellope & their friendship, Vanellope is feeling suffocated by this relationship & is desperate to get away from him.

The press releases said the movie was supposed to be about friends growing apart and going away but keeping the bonds of friendship. But to me? The whole thing felt like Disney was saying “Hey, YOU. Yeah, the IDIOT who thought they LIKED this giant man-baby moron? You’re super clingy and stupid. Don’t bother making friends - you’ll smother them with your attempts to bond. They can do so much better than you, and you’re only holding them back. Now, who wants to watch us add insult to injury by stuffing this gorilla in a dress designed for a 14-year-old princess?”

Again, I don’t think that was the INTENDED message of the movie. But it was just SO mean-spirited, especially when compared to the uplifting messages of the first movie. Which I guess was inevitable for a movie trying to be about the Internet, but still.

So, yeah. I had to step away from the franchise. And it HURT! This story - this character - was such a huge part of my life for years, and I had to cut it out. There were periods of time when I’d forget about the franchise for a bit, or have More Important Things to worry about (like that global pandemic, the nut job & his cult trying to overthrow the US government, normal life stuff). But then I’d be hit with a thought about the first movie out of nowhere, and I’d be happy until I remembered how the sequel killed all of its goodwill.

To this day I still have mixed feelings about Ralph. I get excited when he & Vanellope are included in multi-IP projects, then get sad when I remember the sequel, then get mad at myself for getting excited, then get disappointed when I see more Vanellope merch than Ralph merch, then get mad again when I remember how badly the sequel burned me. AND HE’S NOT REAL!!! I’m being driven insane by a guy WHO DOESN’T EVEN EXIST!!!

When Disney announced their version of Animal Crossing, Dreamlight Valley, Ralph & Vanellope were two of the characters featured in the trailer. Two years later we got Vanellope, but the closest we’ve gotten to Ralph is an in-game chess piece. Meanwhile Vanellope’s getting some great interactions with Mike & Sully of Monsters Inc, with Sully taking a paternal shine to Vanellope. And now I’m constantly begging the Dreamlight Valley social medias for updates about Ralph. I’m excited to see him, but also worried because I don’t know if we’ll get the nuanced Bad Guy from Wreck-it Ralph or the clingy buffoon from Ralph Breaks the Internet. I know John C. Reilly won’t be voicing him (because he NEVER voices Ralph outside of the movies & Once Upon a Studio), but I’m also kind of hoping he will? I don’t know if I want my avatar to hug him, or punch him, or leave him stranded in the Vitalys mines, or love-bomb him with cookie medals, or just leave him off mode. I have a space saved right in front of my in-game house for HIS in-game house, but I might just spend the rest of the game on Eternity Isle so I never have to see him.

And again, this is all for some WHO IS NOT REAL!!!!! I know I have problems, I KNOW there’s SO MUCH MORE to worry about than an imaginary guy with ginormous hands! I WISH I could just not care about him, or his movie, or any fictional stories! I WISH I could go on a Disney Cruise and NOT look for his face in the Art of Animation wall art or in the kids’ area wall art! I WISH I could stop looking for him in Disney Lorcana, or mystery mini lines, or multi-IP books! But I also know I can’t. If I let myself give up on him, if I let Disney WIN? He’ll be Forgotten. Locked in that vault with no chance for redemption. There have been too many other characters to suffer that fate. Like Oswald. And I can’t let characters like Oswald or Ralph be forgotten.

#disney #wreck it Ralph #wir #Ralph breaks the Internet #RBTI #word vomit #pardon my mad ravings #this has been living in my head for years #need to get this out of my system #I feel like Jennifer Aniston in Bruce Almighty #crying in bed begging God to make me stop caring about a friggin’ animated dumpster man #why can’t I obsess over some real guy like a normal person?

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