#every time I see art of him doing the most domestic things I feel warm smiling cooking being a dad omg especially being a dad
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It’s that I know no irl man will ever come close to healing me in the way Levi does
#and I will stand on that until the day I die#I feel safer and more loved with him than I ever had with any man in my life#which is sad but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#he comforts my inner child it’s so strange#5 year old me would have felt safer with him than with my own father#every time I see art of him doing the most domestic things I feel warm smiling cooking being a dad omg especially being a dad#hi sorry I’m alive I know it’s been a while#if you were wondering if I stopped obsessing over levi here is your answer 🙃🙃🙃#manda talks
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late night cravings
pairing: sirius black x afab!reader summary: you sneak off the night for a cheeky midnight snack, hoping sirius won’t notice (spoiler alert: he does, and he’s sulky about it) wc: 4k cw: pregnancy & baby talk, descriptions of food and eating, brief allusions to sex (not directly stated), no physical traits of reader specified but sirius can hold things out of reader’s reach a/n: so i had a lengthy angst fic for sirius’s debut on my blog and im halfway done on it but i cant seem to finish it bc it sends me to a depressing spiral each time <33333 so pls enjoy a very self-indulgent domestic excessively fluffy blurb with my beloved <33333 p.s this is not proofread so plz ignore mistakes ty <3
opening the tomato salsa jar turned out to be the hardest part.
back in bed, you thought the trickiest part of your late night escapade from sirius black was his long limbs wound up tight with yours, even in low light of the small nightlight in the corner, you could still make out the intricate script and designs following the curves and dips of his strong arms, holding you close to his chest.
you had it committed to memory by now, having explored sirius’s body well enough to memorize the way his skin feels against yours, with heartbeats and breaths falling in sync without much effort.
judging by the way his breathing gets heavy after every exhale and the little snores that escape in between, you knew he was beyond knackered. it was day five of sirius’s new job as an deputy director at the auror office. the day he learned about the promotion was pure unadulterated happiness. after letting you know through an express owl, you mustered up enough vigor available to your seven months pregnant self to get out of the house and go to the local shops to get party supplies and food to celebrate sirius’s achievement.
Coming in third out of the list of things he genuinely loved in this life, after you and his luscious locks of course, was his job as an auror. young sirius had never thought in his wildest dreams that he’d work at the ministry, much less actually enjoy it. can’t really blame sixteen year old sirius, starting an underground rock band with the marauders seemed like the perfect thing to do after gruelling hours of studying at hogwarts.
defense against the dark arts came to him naturally, with some counterspells like second nature to him as being exposed with use of dark magic young gave him no choice but to grow up quickly and defend himself from the excruciating pain or the mind control that was from his own family’s doing. Winning the first wizarding war alongside his friends and found family has solidified sirius’s calling in eradicating the use of dark magic and making sure the next generation can have a safe and normal life without the looming threat of a megalomaniac sorting people with their blood status and taking over the wizarding world.
that night, sirius walked into a dark and eerily quiet home that had his senses on overdrive. but when the lights turned on and he saw familiar faces of his loved ones all beaming with pride, and there you were in the center, looking ethereal and round and all his, with his favorite red velvet cake on hand and a ridiculously big balloon that says “congratulations” tied to the candle, he could have melted in a syrupy mess of gooey happiness right then and there if he hadn’t caught himself together last minute.
Sirius had thought– that after you agreeing to go on one date with him to hogsmeade, winning the quidditch cup and seeing the proud look on minerva’s face, going home for christmas break and euphemia welcoming him with a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug, remus teaching at the very same classroom you all were in years back, james and lily’s first kiss at the altar, holding little baby harry in his arms, you walking down the aisle with a bouquet of peonies in the most beautiful dress, and when you held his hand that one night and told him that you were expecting—- that he knew of love. but you do something extraordinary that has him scrambling to add to the endless list of why you’re the love of his life. he was so focused on you that he wasn’t prepared to catch pure muscle of james’s body as he flung himself to tackle his best friend in a hug. luckily, remus with a party hat was aptly standing between a toppling sirius and the living room wall, and he singlehandedly saved the two from creating a huge hole in the drywall.
this was the life, sirius had thought after many hours of partying celebrating and eating, when he laid beside you in bed, limbs tangled, sated and dizzy and warm as you both came down from your highs. and he gets to spend it with you.
but as fun and exciting sirius’s new job is, it entailed an increased amount of responsibility as he was assisting the head auror. his least favorite part of the job was the boatloads of paperwork he has to deal with. An express owl almost dropped a howler letter into the soup you were making for dinner earlier that day and you opened it up panicking thinking it was an emergency. But no, it was just sirius whining that his hand hurt and is about to fall off and that he needs you to kiss it better.
You did eventually, and one thing led to another and here you were, tucked in your husband’s warm embrace. you could stay here forever, only separating to drink water and bathroom trips, but the gnawing urge to eat something savory, sweet, tangy, and crunchy has possessed your entire being, the only way to quell it was to get up and go to the kitchen. the baby doesn’t seem to have a semblance of time yet, a fact you both envied and despised, because the clock on your nightstand said it was 3:48am in bold red numbers. A few months ago, you’d never be caught dead awake at this time, taking your precious sleep time seriously. The man himself would poke fun at you and say you’d gladly sleep through an earthquake or a housefire just as long as you get your seven to eight hours of sleep per day, and despite of your assumed role of contradicting and arguing with spontaneous and stubborn sirius, you had to agree.
But this was not about you anymore, or at least not quite yet for a good seventeen years, so you untangle yourself from sirius and your perfectly warm and cool side of the bed and waddle down the carpeted stairs, careful not to set foot on the creaky step that might risk waking sirius up. You need your secrets too, and you’re not in the mood to share food.
Grateful for the heavens that you and sirius stocked up on groceries two days ago, you had a wide selection of random items to munch on. A few days ago, you were introduced to the idea of a fluffernutter sandwich while scrolling through the short videos on your feed. Peanut butter and marshmallow fluff as spreads on their own was something you didn’t mind eating, but both together in a sandwich? You were enthralled, and the only way to quell the curiosity was to make it. So you did.
You shovel and slather more than enough spread on each slice of bread, though you might have used the same spoon on both jars.. but who’s to tell you off otherwise, your snoozing husband upstairs? pfft.
Smiling happily as if committing a particularly naughty crime, you place the spoon in your mouth, licking off the gooey mixture as you place the sandwich on a piece of paper towel (yes, you take the no dishwashing tonight seriously) on the table. humming, you mull over what to prepare next.
The baby needs something savory and tangy, but you’re not particularly keen on going through all the effort of heating up the soup from dinner, not to mention the amount of cutlery and dishes you’ll use for that, so you zero in on the tostada shells you chose rather than tortilla chips because its much more crispier.
Opening the fridge, you see the laughing cow on a round packaging and decide its the one, so you grab two cheese wedges from it.
Sirius had argued that the next aisle had actual, real blocks of cheese with a variety on display and that there was no point in getting artificially flavored ones. But you’ve gotten really good at giving him the stank face, which inadvertently ends 75 percent of nonsense bickering before it even starts; and since you’ve started showing more and more, sirius has admittedly gone softer on you, not that he was ever more but a pushover your entire relationship. Merely widening of eyes and a jut of your lower lip, even adding a slight tremble or two during times where you did actually fuck up, sirius can’t hold his stance longer than a minute before sighing and taking you in his arms. he might call you out for being a brat at times, but there’s no denying he loves it. And so the artificial wheel of cheese wedges got purchased and bagged home, and you’re meticulously spreading it over the golden shells, leaving little to no gaps of it bare.
Laying it on another paper towel, your heart gets giddy on your chest knowing you’re in for a treat tonight. But not quite time to start munching, the baby reminds you that you still need something tangy to complete the meal. So comes your big predicament, should you get dill pickles or tomato salsa?
It took you ten seconds too long of weighing down the pros-and-cons of choosing one and feeling like you made the wrong choice if you end up not liking it. It doesn’t help that the pregnancy hormones make you more anxious and tend to put you always on the verge of tears. So when the not-so-groundbreaking idea of just eating them both hits you, you feel the weight slide off your shoulders as you sigh. Because again, who’s gonna tell you that eating pickles this late at night can give you bad acid reflux, your snoozing husband? Pfft.
Snacking on some, you do manage to pick out the juiciest looking pickle chips and lay them atop of your tostadas. You and the little one are beyond excited to dive in. It’s looking like a mini upside-down pizza with the cheese spread first then the pickle as toppings. Only thing left now was the the tomato salsa slathered on top to seal the deal.
Opening tight lids wasn’t an issue for you before, in fact, you took pride when friends hand you a jar or bottle to open because you could do it in a breeze. Chances were, the lid wasn’t even screwed on that tight, you were just built different, you’d say with a shrug once you give the items back. So when the tomato jar doesn’t budge after two attempts, you get puzzled.
Maybe your hands were slippery? You wipe them down with a tea towel and try again. No.
You weren’t holding it tight enough? Fingers held taut against the lid, you try three times. Still no.
Determined, you try different positions before letting the jar go, shooting it glares as if it’d get intimidated and just open up for you. You were also getting lightheaded, and passing out on the kitchen floor due to excessive stimulation of your vagal reflex because you were too stubborn to use magic or wake your husband up to open it for you doesn’t seem like the best way to spend the early Tuesday morning hours.
Magic was even out of the option (well, in your brain it was), because your wand’s tucked beside sirius’s on your nightstand, and frankly, you don’t have the patience to drag yourself upstairs just to flick a utility spell to open the wretched thing. So you do the next best option: lose hope.
The disappointment was mutual between you and your baby. And the acid reflux did start to kick in, making your stomach grumble in both hunger and pain. This was all going so well until it isn’t, tears began to make its way up to your eyes.
“See, this is what you get for being greedy and eating all snacks by yourself,” sirius huffs behind you, deep voice still raspy with sleep. You didn’t even hear him getting out of bed and coming down the stairs, that’s how preoccupied you were with opening the jar.
He grabs the container away from you to open it, but not without throwing a scowl at your direction, handsome face contorted with furrowed eyebrows and downturned mouth, enough to express that he felt betrayed by this whole ordeal. If you were in a better mood, you’d poke his sides and tackle him playfully, teasing him for being sulky. But for now, you need the jar opened so you could eat in peace. You’ll deal with the sharing food issue later.
“t wasn’t supposed to take long,” you mumble, caught off guard and refusing to make eye contact, pretending the fridge magnets beside sirius’s head is ten times more interesting than his face. You don’t miss his raised eyebrow and snort at your response.
The second attempt comes and he opens it with a satisfying pop. your mouth falls agape, eyeing the *now accessible* tomato salsa dip in disbelief. What the hell?
And you couldn’t even take the smug grin spreading across sirius’s face by the millisecond. Refuse to. You try to snatch the open container away from him but he holds it higher and out of reach, making a show of puffing his chest, flexing his biceps, even giving it a kiss. This is all James’s doing, you need to have a talk with Lily soon about keeping these two separated.
“Sirius!” you try to plead your way out. the trademark innocent, pouty expression settles on your face like a second mask, hoping he’d go down this easy.
It doesn’t work. He just chuckles, mocking your pleas and face while his free hand sneaks up and pinches your unsuspecting cheek to tease you further.
You yelp in mock outrage and swat his hand away, trying your best to keep your displeasure firm on your face, but you feel the giggles coming up. “This is why I sneak out alone to eat, you’re such a bully,” you huff, but take a seat in front of your makeshift spread.
Sirius places the jar near you, but not without poking your exposed sides, armed with the knowledge that the easiest way to get you laughing (and eventually conceding in an argument) is knowing where your tickle zones are. “Oh yeah,” he drawls, plopping himself beside you. “That’s also why you’re the only one waking up with an upset stomach, stinking up our bathroom so early in the morning.”
Now this one got you appalled, embarrassed, disturbed, basically hit with all the feelings. You’ve been living together long before you got married, and he never brought up this issue until today. “That’s it. I’m leaving.” He makes a move to snatch the sandwich away but the embarrassment on your cheeks made you more agile, swatting his hand away and shielding the sandwich with your hands. “After I finish my meal,” you continue, shooting him a glare.
But see, one of the things that drove you nuts even way back at Hogwarts, was how Sirius Black mostly managed to outsmart you or be one step ahead of you in everything. After you turned him down without much thought whatsoever despite his grand declaration of interest, Sirius took it upon himself to show you (1) that you made a mistake for rejecting him, (2) that his ego won’t let you embarrass him like that again, (3) and that you won’t get rid of him that easily. Once he set his eyes on you, you were face to face with him in everything: grades, OWLs/NEWTs scores, Quidditch plays and bets, wins at the duelling club, even with the fucking gobstones tournament. He never let you catch a break.
Things were surely different now, since you vowed to be with him in sickness and health and untill death parts you both– hell, you’re carrying his child. So you figured maybe, maybe, he’ll let you catch a break this time. Let you eat in peace as you mull over his bathroom comment and how you’re going to get him back.
But again, no. Unlike you, Sirius remembered to grab his wand from the nightstand. Not even batting an eye, he says nonchalantly, “Accio sandwich.” And the fluffernutter you protected with all your physical might managed to escape your watch, and land gracefully on his waiting palm.
What irritated you more from this whole ordeal? The prodigal auror that climbed his way up the ranks and became the youngest deputy director, fully capable of complex spells and wielding different kinds of magic, felt the need to do a verbal Accio spell just to make a point to you.
Out of words, you just stare at him blankly. Too stunned to even cry in frustration because you knew you made a conscious, willing choice to be with this man.
Maybe your best guilt-tripping expression comes best when you’re not trying. Color drains from his face when you remained silent and he scrambles to take a bite off the sandwich before handing it back to you, or rather placing it on your limp hand as you refuse to acknowledge it, still too hurt to budge. “‘m sorry, baby. Just wanted to eat with you since we didn’t get to earlier.”
He did arrive later than usual, deciding to finish the stack of case files and paperwork so he won’t have to sift through them again the next day. There were plans to wait for him before eating, but when the jitteriness and slightly nausea started to kick in, you had no choice in the matter. Sirius had been sulky and clingy the moment he got home, and as compromise, you stayed to watch him eat; listening and reacting animatedly as he ranted about his stressful day.
So you cut him off some slack, also exhausted from all the emotional stimulation sirius brought since he woke up. As a silent peace offering (also because you’re not ready to say sorry to his face), you slide the tostadas within his reach and finally take your bite of the goddamn sandwich. It was good, tasted as expected, sweet peanut butter. You’d probably have it again as a drunk at 3am meal.
Sirius also went and got snacks of his own: microwaved popcorn, pickles, toasted bread slathered with butter, and grapes. Together, you munched on the little spread of random food you could find in your kitchen at 4am in comfortable silence, which is surprising after the earlier bickering. No matter how cheesy it sounded in your head, sirius was the only person that can drive you to the brink of insanity and right back. You were in for a hell of a ride for the foreseeable future; and while there’s a lot of uncertainty right now and changes to be made when the little one gets here, you’re beyond happy that you get to do all this with him.
Sleep was beginning to creep up on you. Of course he notices this right when you do, so a warm arm wrapped across your back urges you to settle on his lap, bodies melding into the familiar crevices like puzzle pieces, though you both had to adjust certain angles to accommodate your growing belly. You sit like this for a while; your head tucked securely in the crook of his neck, steady breaths lulling you to sleep, while sirius’s hands instinctively finds its way under your sleep shirt and on the natural curve of your belly, lithe fingers stroking and drawing soothing circles anywhere he could reach.
you wish you could stay like this forever– cozy and soft and safe– but alas, you were carrying sirius black’s offspring. the baby decides to reward you with a round of kicks, probably giddy after feeling their father’s touch. Sirius chuckles and coos at your bump, while a muffled groan leaves your lips from the sudden onslaught of movement, but still refusing to move from this comfortable position.
Smooth cold lips touch the side of your forehead and you relish in the feeling. “Does it ever hurt, love? All that kicking and wiggling?”
“Not really,” a content sigh leaves your lips. “Feels strange at times, seeing your belly move on its own.”
To prove your point, two tiny bulges make a split second appearance just above where Sirius’s hand lay. His thumb soothes the area lovingly.
“Definitely getting stronger though; Lily told me during the later months, harry for some reason loved to kick downwards, making bathroom trips more frequent than it already is. Not excited for that.”
He presses kisses on your forehead, temple, hairline, anywhere he could reach without moving too much. “Things that you do and endure for this ‘lil troublemaker,” sirius murmurs. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, you could feel his body reverberating with awe and fondness. You try to bask in it for as long as you could, but a passing thought makes its presence known to you again.
“Do i really make the bathroom stink?” it comes out whinier than you intended it to be but you just had to know for peace of mind.
Sirius’s whole frame vibrates as he tries to stifle his laughter, taking you with him. He’s laughing at your expense but you feel your own giggles brewing in your belly. You try to hold it in for longer, preserving some self respect. “A little bit,” he says solemnly. You groan, earlier mortified feeling returning in full swing. It triggers another round of chuckles.
“But dove, it’s nothing that my deep love and adoration for my lovely strong hot and sexy wife can’t handle.” He says assuredly, and you curse yourself for being so down bad for this man as blood rushes to your cheeks from his words. Good thing it’s dim and your face is still tucked in the crook of his neck.
You do pinch his arm in response, and both your laughters compliment the comfortable silence.
“Although,” he says after a while. “The betrayal of you eating without me still hurts.”
“Siri.. i’m sorry,” you mumble. “‘y looked so tired, Didn’t wanna wake you up.”
He tuts and doesn’t say much after that. In sirius dictionary, this means he just wants some affection from you— for you to dote on him and coax out his forgiveness, even if you both know he’s not really mad; judging by his arms still wrapped securely around your frame and steady breaths that tickle and fan on your bare skin.
So you mimic his actions from earlier, planting tiny kisses on his neck, collarbones, jawline, anywhere your lips could reach. Kissing his cheek seem to do the trick, his fake scowl quickly coming undone as a bashful smile breaks through the frown, and his tiny dimple you love so much making an appearance. The muggle maternity books did say dimples are genetic, so an image of a little Sirius running around and smiling up at you with those dimpled cheeks is a warming thought.
“I am charming all the lids to be stuck at night as soon as i wake up tomorrow for work.” You poke a sensitive spot on his side, making him jolt, but you couldn’t resist laughter as it bubbles out of the surface. “You’re insufferable, I can’t believe I married a psychopath.”
“And you let him knock you up too. I’d say it takes one to know one, hm?”
#siriusblack#sirius black one shot#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black imagine#sirius black blurb#sirius black fluff#sirius black drabble#sirius black fic#sirius black x black!reader#sirius black x reader#sirius black x yn#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#dad!sirius black#dad!sirius#mom!reader#sirius x reader#marauders era#marauders fluff#dad!marauders#marauders au#marauders fanfiction
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i told myself i wasnt going to put this up anywhere but im continuously a sucker for domestic jarthur and. this is based off some of @izel-scribbles wonderful art!! honestly you should go check out everything theyve done overall! insanely talented and inspiring🫶
"Are you sure you don't mind?"
John's eyes remain focused on what lay in his lap: two warm palms clasped together fresh and alive. Out of everything else the sight of those ten fingers, long and far more capable than he could have anticipated, continued to trip him up the most. He'd developed the nervous habit quickly enough, intertwining those newly formed hands, fidgeting with the tips of his own fingers, but he couldn't say for sure where the gesture came from. Arthur's own aimless restlessness, possibly. It was difficult to tell. Holding your own hand felt much different than grasping the other of the body you once shared.
A lull of contemplative silence answers him. John clears his throat and tries anew, studying the backs of his knuckles.
"Arthur? You don't mind?"
Above him, a soft hum stirs the back of his head. The impression of touch ripples outward, a stone skipped across a lake he couldn't hope to see the other side of. Most sensations possessed a strange poignancy this way, he'd come to notice. They started off small and blossomed beneath his skin, infinitesimal points of light interconnecting in an unpredictable dance: the brush of an arm, the press of someone's lips, a wayward elbow. He still had yet to decide if it was all too overwhelming, or if he wanted to drown in it once the ripples ceased their stretching stir.
"Hmm?" Arthur answers. "Mind what, John?"
"This," he says, huffing. "What you're doing, you don't... it isn't too much trouble?"
Another hum. John knew enough by now to tell Arthur's mind was somewhere off in the near distance, wandering through thoughts he couldn't be privy to. For the moment, he was content to let him be. The feeling of trying to perceive every individual strand of his own hair was taking up enough of his focus already.
"Trouble? No, it's no trouble at all. I volunteered, remember?"
"Yes, but," John presses, shifting. His legs were growing stiff against the firm surface of the kitchen chair. In the afternoon light all which surrounded them simmered in a gauzy haze of late summer heat, translucent and golden. His own skin glowed with it, deep brown and unmarked in the way Arthur's flesh was decidedly not. "It feels like you're..."
Arthur raises an eyebrow. "What, John?"
"Struggling."
"I'm not- Jesus Christ," he says dryly. "I'm not struggling! It's just been a while since I've had to comb someone else's hair, alright? You and I both know I hardly managed my own well enough in the past few months."
John attempts to glance over his shoulder at the man standing behind him. He barely catches a glimpse of the familiar made strange now that he could view it from the opposite side - tousled auburn hair resplendent in the light, a brown eye filtered through with fragments of faint gold - before a gentle hand guides him with a tap to turn back around.
"Moving won't make this any easier, you know."
Frowning, he dips his chin with a pout. "Sorry."
Those hands return, after some hesitation, to his hair. Fingers narrow and slender weave through locks like shadowed silk, once again trying to pull it all into a tie. A slow shiver travels down his spine at the whispered scrape of nails along his scalp, all at once another sensation to simultaneously wrangle with and be devoured by. Much of humanity's new nuances he would willingly let swallow him whole, he thinks absently, if it could grant him another second distended in time of Arthur lovingly slipping a strand of his hair over his palm.
Hair was a tricky thing, it turned out. Like clothing, like walking, like maneuvering through a world made miraculously tangible, he found the intricacies of it difficult to navigate. He'd only asked for help after snapping the second comb they'd bought in two, and even then no small amount of odd guilt hung low over his shoulders at the request.
"Okay," Arthur says after a minute. "You know what? I've made a decision."
"Oh?" His gaze flicks across the room to the window, lost as he so often was when they were in the kitchen, in the depth of the plum throated blooms filling the magnolia tree just outside.
"Yes. I've decided I'm utterly hopeless at this."
The earnestness of his announcement catches John so off guard he can't do anything but laugh. His amusement rolls, a joyous and soft thunder rumbling through the air. Arthur's helpless chuckle accompanies him, sonorous and sweet.
"It's not," he tries, biting his tongue, "it's not funny-"
"It's objectively funny," John drawls. His anxiety dissipates in a forceful sigh. "Perhaps you could... we could always cut it, I suppose, if that would make it easier."
"Absolutely not. I'll braid it, if anything. Yeah? I used to braid hers all the time, I'm sure I could do that, at least... That sound agreeable to you, darling?"
John turns in the chair to look behind him once again. This time, Arthur lets him. A sheepish smile curves his lips as he comes into view, the tie he'd been attempting to use held loosely. No irritation at having to deal with something John thought he rightfully should have been able to handle himself lingered in the lines of his face. Instead he saw only an unfathomable willingness, a love he wasn't certain he'd fully yet earned, the origins of which he'd likely spend the rest of his human life trying to uncover.
"Yes," he says, faltering as his and Arthur's eyes meet. "That's-"
"John?" A single finger taps beneath his chin, coaxing his head up. "What is it?"
As abruptly as he shifted around, he focuses back towards the window. Arthur gingerly takes a handful of his hair once more, separating it into three sections.
"John?"
"It's nothing," he mutters. "Forget it."
"Are you sure?" Arthur insists. "Do you not want your hair out of your face after all, or-"
"No, I do. It's... just never mind, Arthur."
"Alright." He gives a small shrug.
John's eyes flutter briefly closed at the warmth of Arthur's lips brushed along the side of his jaw. These always hurt the most, the simple touches of his mouth. Against new skin they threatened to break him under the unfathomable lightness of some divine ache. He took every kiss, thoughtless or desperate, claiming or hungry, with renewed gratitude and a promise to himself he'd try to deserve it.
"Just don't expect a bow at the end," Arthur mumbles teasingly. "And for the record, John," he adds in a softer tone, "I'd do this whenever you asked me to."
"Arthur-"
"Although, I think some blue silk would work here to hold this together."
John crosses his arms. "Absolutely not."
"I have that new necktie. If I use the bottom part of it-"
"Don't you dare. Arthur?" He glances to where Arthur had darted down the hall, his laughter bright. "Where are you going? Arthur? Arthur!"
#full disclosure i wrote this loopy on pain medication ehdhdhh#one more day and these goddamn bandages can come off#anyways#uhhhhhhhh#falls and dies#caspost#malevolent#malevolent fic#jarthur
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title: eyes wide shut, i promise not to fall awake rating: explicit pairing: Wheeler Yuta/Jon Moxley, Wheeler Yuta/Bryan Danielson, Wheeler Yuta/Claudio Castagnoli, background Yuta/Mox/Claudio/Bryan/Regal word count: 11,526 warnings: rape, past rape, abuse, non-consensual drug use, drugged sex, non-consensual bondage, delusions, drug abuse, budding drug addiction to be clear, mental health issues, inability to distinguish reality from not reality, fantasizing, distant partner, come play, blood play. blood kink, arousal from rape, topping from the bottom, daddy kink, domestic issues, dirty talk, free use (kinda), William Regal Haunts the Narrative, post-traumatic stress disorder, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat notes: shout out to sarah for helping proof this :D more notes under the cut, more tags on ao3 link summary: There's a match Saturday on Collision against Anthony Henry, but Yuta can't even remember what day it is anymore. series: the ancient art of quiet rape, part two
[link to ao3] [ao3 series page] [part one on tumblr]
more authors notes: I strongly urge anyone with issues reading about the experience of not being able to distinguish reality from not reality may not want to read this fic. Through out the work Yuta will be unable to remember a lot of things, and struggles with figuring out whats real and what isn't.
To be clear about some of the above tags: Yuta will be drugged during part of this fic. In other parts he will be popping pills. Yuta does not remember the events of the hospital, or that he was raped. He thinks its just a nightmare. During certain parts of this fic Yuta will fantasize about raping another character, and have dreams about being raped. Mox will mention his past with being raped in an erotic way. Yuta will be aroused by being raped.
I do feel it necessary to explain all of this since this is sensitive. I want people to enjoy this work about erotic rape and erotic abuse, not be hurt by it! (cringe shit I say but mean even though it's cringe).
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"Learning to perfect the ancient art of quiet rape, You've always been so warm and calculated, I owe you a thanks, Eyes wide shut, I promise not to fall awake, Lick the guillotine and tell you how the gasoline tastes, The grass is always greener on the other pesticide." --Eyedea & Abilities, 'Burn Fetish'
The house was always quiet. It never used to be like this, but then again there used to be a few more people around. Instead it’s just Yuta, living like a ghost in Bryan’s house. That’s what it is now. Just Bryan’s place. None of them had ever officially moved in but for some reason everyone mostly gravitated to staying there. Yuta just felt like a guest now.
Mostly Bryan was resting. Especially the first few days. There was a lot on his mentor’s mind as he tried to recover, there was a title to defend after all, but they weren’t really speaking. Sure Yuta asked what Bryan needed, how he was doing, what they would have to eat, and so on. Bryan answered. Sure they spoke here and there, but they didn't talk.
The thing was, Yuta knew he was acting strange. Lately everything made his skin crawl, every sound made him jump. Anything salty was likely to tip him into an anxiety attack. He felt like a shell of a person, terrified of nothing he could understand. Most of the time he was barely present. All day he spent checking on Bryan or training, at night he couldn’t sleep so he watched matches.
In the mirror Yuta could see the toll of sleeplessness. The nightmare plagued the young man even when he was awake. Every reiteration left Yuta with less memory, but more of a vivid feeling. Something that couldn’t be shaken off. Clinging to him like plastic, suffocating and uncomfortable.
There was so much Yuta couldn’t hide, and while he knew Bryan was recovering as well as dealing with his own trauma, the man never seemed to notice. For Yuta’s own health he had to write it off as Bryan just dealing with his own stuff. Sure, that was understandable. After all, it was Bryan who actually went through something.
“Hey, Wheeler?” Bryan’s still hoarse voice asked over the sound of cooking.
“Hm?” Yuta wasn’t actually listening, he was paying attention to the pan as he made dinner. Not really, he was actually completely zoned out.
“Why haven’t you been staying in the bed with me?” Bryan asked but he wasn’t looking at the younger man. There was a slight uncomfortableness to him even bringing it up.
“Hm.” Yuta just shrugged, not hearing the question.
“Yuta.” Bryan’s voice was louder, a little mad now. It snapped the other out of it.
“What? Sorry. My head’s somewhere else, Bryan,” Yuta admitted, glancing over to see how much he pissed his mentor off.
“Yeah. I noticed.” The slight snark to it made Yuta wince. “I just asked why you hadn’t been staying in the bed with me.”
“I…” Yuta put the spatula down so he could lean on the counter. “Just figured you needed space while you recovered.”
“Thoughtful of you,” Bryan mumbled sarcastically.
There was something that just snapped in Yuta. Hands balling up into fists as he tried to control himself. A few deep breaths until he was able to turn off the stove. Yuta turned sharply to face Bryan sitting at the breakfast bar.
“Honestly, I can’t fucking sleep, Bryan. I didn’t want to be keeping you up. So fuck you.” Yuta made sure he didn’t raise his voice, forcing the rage boiling inside of him to a simmer.
“Hey, hey. I’m sorry.” Bryan got up to come hold Yuta. Normally it’d be sweet but today it made Yuta want to scream. “You are being thoughtful. I just…missed you in bed.”
“Oh…” Yuta shrank into the hug, putting his arms around the shorter man. “Sorry.”
“It’s a two way street, right?” Bryan kissed the younger man’s cheek. “Have you tried taking your Xanax before bed? They make you really sleepy.”
“Not really. They’re for panic attacks so I didn’t think about that,” Yuta admitted, realizing he could do that. “Fuck it. Haven’t slept since you were released. I’ll take one after dinner and we can go to sleep.”
“Only if you think it’ll help. It was just a suggestion.” Bryan finally let go.
“Yeah. I do think it’ll help.” Yuta nodded, sure that it couldn't hurt at least.
Right after they ate, Yuta took a pill before cleaning up the kitchen. Bryan said he had a little headache so he needed to lay down. That was fine, Yuta wasn’t too worried about it. For a while he’d work on the dishes and when he got too tired he’d go upstairs.
The slow ascent up the steps exhausted Yuta. Each foot weighed down by dread. Despite this being what he wanted from Bryan, wanting to be noticed in his own suffering, it just felt bad. Anxiety and worry were overpowering even the medication the closer he got to the bedroom.
It felt strange, almost dreamlike to walk into the bedroom. Everything was practically how it was the last time Yuta was here. Like a time capsule of before. The sheets were different than they had been before the weekend. It was jarring to see that none of Mox or Claudio’s scattered things weren’t thrown out or even put away.
Yuta was too exhausted to think about it as he sat on the edge of the bed, opposite where the sleeping Dragon laid. House shoes kicked off, Yuta slid into bed fully clothed. The room was cool but not cold enough for a hoodie, sweatpants, or even his socks. He made sure to stay out of the covers, pushing them over towards Bryan who was already asleep.
Even with the Xanax sleep was elusive. Every so often he’d nod off but he wouldn’t sleep. As the minutes ticked by, Yuta lost more and more patience. The room was too quiet; the sound of Yuta’s racing thoughts were loud like bumps on the mat. The temperature of the room seemed to fluctuate between way too hot and slightly too cold.
In an act of frustration Yuta fished the pill bottle out of his pocket. Shaking out two more light blue pills to go into his mouth. There had to be relief somewhere, right now it looked like it might be at the bottom of the bottle. Yuta remembered Mox half jokingly telling him that if he chewed the pills up they’d hit faster, so he did that.
To balance out the advice from the other man, Yuta started doing some of the breathing exercises Bryan taught him. Slowly things started to even out as the combination of breathing and chewing the pills sent the tingling of calm. Closing his eyes, Yuta was finally met with darkness instead of ghosts.
+++
As soon as Yuta woke up he knew something was wrong. This wasn’t the same bedroom he had fallen asleep in. As he looked around, heart beating out of his chest he realized that he was at…Claudio’s place? It was the guest bedroom that nobody really used. Except most of Yuta’s things were there. Everything that was important to him seemed to be in the room.
Panic was flooding the young man as he got out of the bed, the covers were thrown back violently. Yuta ran towards the door, but his heart sank when the handle didn’t move.
“What the fuck, what the fuck.” Yuta rushed around the room but couldn’t figure out what he was looking for.
It felt like hours went by, but Yuta ran out of steam early. It seemed impossible. Everything was surreal. Like the fact there was a bathroom he didn’t remember from before. The door was heavy and he knew he wouldn't be able to get it open. He thought there was a window in this room but it was nowhere to be found.
A loud knock came at the door finally. The silence had lulled Yuta into a dreamlike state and the noise made him jump up to his feet, stumbling slightly. The hinges to the door didn’t make any noise as it opened. On the other side was Mox, a big grin on his face as he strolled inside. Jeans slung low with a sway to his hips. No shirt for some reason, giving Yuta a glorious view of his hairy chest.
“Hey, kid. Glad you’re up. Feeling okay?” Mox didn’t seem to mind the door latching behind him as he got closer. “Gave you a bit to cal--”
“What the fuck is this, Jon?!” Yuta shouted, so much anger welling up.
“Um…it’s the thing you wanted, man. I didn’t decide on this. I didn’t come up with it, or let myself be here. You wanted this.” Mox frowned, a look of hurt coming across his face. “Remember? At the hospital when we talked about this?”
“What? What hospital? I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about, Jon!” Yuta snapped. “Why are my drums here? Why is my computer here? All my clothes, books, movies, what the hell is this! Answer me!”
“Fucking christ. You gotta calm the fuck down. We got your fuckin’ pills too.” Mox pointed towards the nightstand. “If you relax, I’ll refresh your damn memory.”
“Calm down? You’ve got me locked in some damn room--” Yuta’s fists balled up as he contained his rage at being cut off.
“Just shut up for a minute.” Mox waved him off. “When we were at the hospital in Chicago we talked about how we wanted to keep you locked up, free to use whenever we wanted, the only time we let you out is to go wrestle.”
“Wha…” Yuta’s brain was flooded with all that memory. “We didn’t agree-- I didn’t--”
“We all know this is exactly where you want to be.” Mox sighed as he glanced back at the door. “I’ll go, if you still need to adjust. I just wanted to get my dick wet, honestly.”
“You just wanted to get your fucking dick wet? Do you hear yourself?!” Yuta took a step closer.
“I hear myself, kid. I know exactly what’s going on.” Mox’s face darkened as he stepped closer too. The threatening action made Yuta pause. “This is the whole reason you’re here. It’s what you’re good for. So I can go, give you more time to relax, but the longer you make me wait the worse it gets.”
The hospital came to mind as the threat set in. The violent violation by his fellow faction mates allowed cracks to form in Yuta, hairline fractures that weakened him as a whole. Mox knew that, even if Yuta didn’t. A little pressure on the right part would cause him to shatter. Being blindsided by his own mental state, Yuta just stared. How could this be real? Surely Bryan would notice he was missing or something?
One large hand landed on Yuta’s shoulder, moving around to the back of his neck. Gripping, holding tight but it wasn’t rough. Mox wasn’t hurting him, just pulling him closer and closer.
“Bryan ain’t coming to find you. You’ve already been gone for three days, kid.” Mox spoke quietly, slowly like he was breaking bad news.
“No, no. That’s…Bryan wouldn’t…” Yuta started to shake his head but he knew it was true. He knew that Bryan may not even notice he was missing because his mentor didn’t really care.
“I could give you your phone right now and there wouldn’t be a missed call or text from daddy.” Mox tacked on the last part just to be cruel, to really drive it home. That broke Yuta more as he started crying. “You don’t got a match for a while either, so no one at work is wonderin’.”
“Jon, please,” Yuta begged as everything inside of him crumbled.
“So, is it now or later? I’m getting impatient here.” Mox sighed as he let go, finally looking away.
Yuta stared at the older man as the gravity of the situation started to sink in. This was his new world. It felt insane to just drop to his knees but what other choice did he have? Eventually they’d just take what they wanted from him; that much Yuta learned the night at the hospital. At least he could save himself some pain maybe if he just sank to his knees now.
+++
The bedroom was bright and sunny, a window open to hear nature’s tune. Light sparkled through the currents. Sheets and comforters cocooned Yuta in the empty bed. It was hard to orient himself but Yuta focused on slowing down his breathing. Something was making the bed shake, it took a moment for Yuta to realize it was him.
Shaking like a leaf would be an understatement. Yuta was trembling. Even being all wrapped up, with the addition of his heavy choice in pajamas, didn’t stop it. In fact Yuta could feel himself sweating profusely, his heart jackhammering like he’d just spent an hour running the ropes.
As everything eased back into reality, Yuta was able to slowly get out of the bedding. The clothes he wore to bed were drenched in sweat, but at least it wasn’t on the bed. Cool air ran past his body but did little to quell the heat.
Once Yuta was up on his feet he noticed how bad he felt. Maybe he’d caught something. His throat felt raw and scratchy, all his joints were aching, and he had a headache despite just waking up. The clothes were sticking to his skin uncomfortably.
The hoodie was stripped first, tossed to the side as socked feet took Yuta to the bathroom. It was too bright but Yuta couldn’t do anything about it. His balance had yet to even out so he held onto the sink as he walked by, glancing at his ghostly form in the mirror.
Cold water ran into the sink, swirling down the drain as Yuta started at himself. He looked awful. Even though he slept his eyes still had bags under them, he was pale, and looked vaguely sick. Yuta could admit the look in his eyes was bad, he looked like he’d given up. Something was broken inside of him but he had no idea what.
At this point Yuta couldn’t remember basically anything from the nightmare he’d had at the hospital. Now he could barely recall the one that had just happened. It was starting to really piss him off that he just had no recollection of the things haunting him, he couldn't see them so he couldn’t deal with them.
“Stress, huh.” Yuta rolled his eyes, remembering the nurse expressing concern about his stress.
Finally, Yuta bent down to wash his face off. The cool water added a refreshing relief. Everything else started cooling down too. Getting all the grime and sweat off his face made Yuta feel significantly more human.
“Where is Bryan?” Yuta muttered to himself as he dried off his hands.
It wasn’t like Bryan was supposed to be anywhere. Bed rest had been prescribed for nearly a week. The first thing Yuta did was find his phone on the bedside table. The battery was low since the night before he hadn’t cared much if his phone was charged. The display didn’t have any messages, nothing from his mentor.
There was the possibility that Bryan was somewhere downstairs but after a quick sweep there was no one. Not even in the garden. Both of their cars were there, which was good since Bryan wasn’t supposed to be driving.
It annoyed Yuta to wake up alone. No message or indicator of where his injured partner was at. Of course Bryan just took off, that was just what he was good at. Yuta groaned to himself as he tried to back track that line of thought. After all, Bryan probably just didn’t want to wake him up since he knew Yuta hadn’t been sleeping. Not that it was even good sleep. Yuta felt more tired than he had the day before.
After some contemplation Yuta decided to just go take a shower. That would probably do him some good, right, and he’d find some fresh clothes too.
+++
The hot water cascaded over Yuta’s body while he ducked under the spray. It was probably too hot, his skin already taking on a pink tone. Something needed to be washed away, even if Yuta couldn’t articulate what it was that he needed to clean off himself.
Ever since the PPV it was like a layer of filth was stuck to Yuta’s skin. Each shower did nothing to rid him of the disgusting feeling. Something was weaving its way through his skin, sewing patches of filth over the cracks. Every pore felt like it was seeping and oozing.
Without looking, Yuta reached over to the shelf to grab body wash. A few bottles clattered over, one even rolling off. It stayed at the bottom of the shower; Yuta was too preoccupied to care. The faded red washcloth was lathered up quickly, and taken to his own skin like sandpaper.
Every inch of tan skin was scrubbed red raw. The strong smell of sandalwood emanated from the suds, a tiny hint of vanilla. It was hypnotic, and Yuta paused with his chest and arms done. The bubbles were washed off patches of raw skin as the smell lingered, assaulting Yuta’s memories like a punching bag.
“Fuck, Mox.” Yuta’s moans echoed in the tiled shower.
Yuta could recall the scent well. Even during training, all sweaty and wet, Yuta could smell the lingering notes of sandalwood and vanilla on Mox. It was one of the things he loved when Mox would cuddle up to him or sit too close. Comfortable and safe, until a few days prior.
Looking down, Yuta saw himself getting hard at the memories of Mox. Strong muscle, coarse hair, and the smell. Cigarettes, sandalwood, and just a little vanilla. As Yuta’s cock filled out his mind brought up images of Mox, but he fixated on a memory he had of the other man.
Hand on his cock Yuta envisioned Mox, in some nondescript hotel room with sheets to match. Sometimes if Mox was tired enough he’d fall asleep in his towel after a shower. Laying face down on the bed, Mox’s back glistened, still damp and warmed from the water. Yuta thought about all the details.
The way Mox’s scars caught water, how his body hair dried. The way the sleeping man had both arms under his head as a pillow. One foot slightly off the bed. Peaceful slumber painted his face as Yuta stepped closer and closer. One hand undoing his belt, quietly pulling it through each loop.
The tantalizing scene in Yuta’s head played out as he stroked his throbbing cock. A light hand worked his shaft so he didn’t get too excited. This was a fantasy he wanted to actually experience instead of rush through. It wasn’t something he’d ever indulged with before now, and he didn’t know why that changed.
In his mind Yuta started undoing the button and zipper of his jeans as he got to the hotel bed. One knee planted between Mox’s legs as he reached up to bring the other man’s hands down. It took a few seconds to thread his belt around Mox’s wrist until he was tied up.
“Yoots?” Mox muttered, his tired face turning towards the younger man.
“Yeah, Mox?” Yuta started to peel the towel back to reveal one of the best asses he’d ever seen. Thick muscles sculpted into two beautiful globes. “So hot.”
“Wha’s up?” Mox shook his wrists, sleepiness still affecting his judgment.
“Don’t worry about that, baby,” Yuta assured the other as he moved around.
“‘Kay.” Mox let his head fall back onto the bed, eyes closing because of the trust he had in his young boy.
Yuta mounted Mox with ease, his cock slipping between the other’s cheeks. The rush of power and euphoria made Yuta’s head spin. There was a slight grunt from Mox as the weight settled down and the rough material of jeans scratched his skin. It didn’t matter, not to Yuta, and neither did the uncomfortable position his prey was in.
Below him there was some shifting from Mox as he realized how uncomfortable the position felt. A slight strain of the back and tensing of muscles let Yuta know the other was exactly where he wanted. Hands started tracing the damp scars, finding nonexistent patterns and shapes.
“Hm?” Mox tried to look back.
“Ready for me, baby?” Yuta grunted as he sat up on his knees, pushing the other’s legs further apart.
“No? I don’t…wha?” Mox shook his head as he felt the pressure against his hole.
No lube or prep went into it. It took a lot of effort to push in, and when he did Mox howled in pain. The belt was tugged and pulled but kept Mox immobilized as Yuta fucked into him. It felt so good, Yuta thought, as he slammed into the man below him.
“Fuck! Wheeler!” Mox cried out. “Please!”
“Please what, bitch?” Yuta was breathless, losing all composure.
“Stop!” Mox cried. “It hurts. Please?”
“Stop? You want me to stop?” Yuta breathlessly spoke as he leaned over Mox’s back. “No. I’m taking what’s mine.”
The hot water of the shower washed the seed away as Yuta came hard into his hand. It was good, even satisfying, Yuta realized as he came down from the euphoria. The fantasy stayed there, playing more even after Yuta finished. Thinking about the way Mox would fight back, wiggling to get away maybe. The violence of the situation made Yuta feel like he could go again.
Before he could delve more into this newly uncovered fantasy, the bathroom door opened. Yuta jumped, turning to look even though the glass of the door was fogged over. The place was filled with steam from the too hot shower, even wiping the glass didn’t help. For some reason Yuta’s anxiety ramped up thinking it was maybe Mox or Claudio, he wasn’t exactly sure why that also made him even more horny.
“Wheeler?” Bryan’s voice called. “You better be in there. That’s a lot of water to wa--”
“I’m here. Yeah.” Yuta squeaked, quickly reaching out to turn the temperature down. “Are you okay? You weren’t here when I woke up.”
“I’m good.” Bryan’s cheerful voice played over the rushing of water. “I went for a run af--”
Yuta threw the door of the shower open frantically.
“You went for a run? Bryan, you’re not cleared!” Yuta shouted, suddenly unreasonably angry. “What the hell is wrong with you? After what happ--”
“Wheeler, Wheeler. Relax.” Bryan frowned. “I went this morning while you slept after I got medically cleared to start training again. I’m fine.”
“That was today?” Yuta looked the other man over. Seeing his boyfriend in running gear made his stomach knot up. “I-I was supposed to go with you.”
“It was just a doctor’s appointment. You were asleep finally so I didn’t wake you up. Wheeler, you’ve got a match soon and you’ve not slept at all.” Bryan cocked his head to the side. “You don’t even know what day it is.”
“I-I-” Yuta closed his eyes tightly as he tried to focus and figure out what the fuck was happening.
“You’re wasting water, Wheeler,” Bryan pointed out with disappointment.
“Sorry.” Yuta turned to get back in so he could turn the water off completely. “I just wanted to be there, Bryan.” The fluffy blue towel wrapped around Yuta’s waist as he hung his head.
“You leave tonight for Ohio,” Bryan sighed as he finished undressing.
“I do?” Yuta considered the days, frowning at the mirror. When had he lost so many days? “Uh, wh-who am I--?”
“Fuck. You don’t even know? I need you to focus, Wheeler, okay? Do you understand me?” Bryan’s stern voice felt like a cheese grater. “You’re wrestling Anthony Henry in Ohio on Collision.”
“Okay. Well.” Yuta shrugged, finally standing up right. “I can beat Henry.”
��Not if you’re going to be this distracted. Not knowing what day it is, who you’re matched up against, not training, not sleeping. You’re going to forget your boots too.” Bryan rolled his eyes.
“Fuck you. I’ve been--” Yuta paused, unable to articulate anything.
“You’ve been what, Wheeler?” Bryan shook his head. “You’ve been distracted. Figure it out. You can’t let what happened distract you. Got it?”
The nerve of Bryan saying that struck something in Yuta. For a moment he just stared at the other man, trying to figure out what was going on. Maybe Bryan was in denial or something, Yuta couldn’t just ask. Neither one of them was ready to talk about it. Clearly.
“Got it.” Yuta nodded curtly before exiting the bathroom.
+++
Traveling alone, to Ohio no less, was a tough experience. Even though Yuta had traveled by himself before this felt different. This was alone. There wasn’t going to be anyone waiting for him here or on the connecting flight, not at the hotel or even the arena. Even Bryan couldn’t do the drop off since he wasn’t supposed to be driving yet.
Not that Bryan seemed to want to take his prodigy. That was something Yuta had to just chalk up to Bryan still being messed up from Chicago. That was what he had to keep telling himself about a lot of things.
The whole trip was numbing. No excitement or anxiety bubbling up. Granted that could have been the excess of pills he had been taking. By the time Yuta got into his hotel room he was ready to pass out. At least he hoped he was, because he still hadn’t slept. The night before didn’t count because he woke up still exhausted.
In the morning Yuta had to get up to work out, something he promised his mentor. Now he was thinking about just skipping it. No one would notice. Sleeping was probably more important. Another pill was popped while the rest sat on the bedside table.
Despite best efforts, Yuta tossed and turned unable to fully rest. There weren’t any vivid, unrememberable nightmares this time. Small things to be thankful for, he thought while staring at the shadows passing across the ceiling. Yuta tried not to think about how the morning would come soon, leaving him unrested for his match.
Yuta let his mind wander since nothing else was working. Slowly his eyes drifted closed to the fantasy he had about Mox while in the shower. The way Mox looked while struggling, the sounds he was making. It was easy to conjure up the scene, after all Yuta knew Mox pretty well at this point.
It had never occurred to Yuta he may have a rape kink, but here he was fantasizing about just that. Yuta also didn’t take long, just thinking about Mox begging him to stop sending him over. Come spilled over into his hand with a grunt, still thinking about forcing Mox.
Getting up was out of the question so Yuta just cleaned himself off with his t-shirt. The smear of come across the old BCC logo wasn’t lost on him. Settling back in Yuta realized he was still thinking about it. What would it be like to force such a strong man? Make him beg and cry?
As Yuta pondered just those things he started to drift off, finding peace as he fell asleep. Actually fell asleep, and the sleep was good. Relief and recovery flooded Yuta, he was sure he could have slept for days if not for the courtesy call from the front desk. The one Bryan made him set up just to be sure Yuta got some training in and didn’t oversleep.
Training was the last thing the young man wanted to do. The hotel gym was empty since it was so early. Yuta tried to motivate himself through the workout by telling himself he could go straight back to bed until it was show time. There just wasn't anything there. No drive or focus.
“I can beat Henry,” Yuta mumbled to himself.
The reflection from the mirror caught the haunted look. The stress, pain, and disconnection all etched into his face. Exhaustion stayed creeping around the edges, threatening to reinvade. Breaks in the mask that Yuta put on for everyone else, little fractures that would soon become a serious threat.
Considering how he had been eating lately, which was nothing at all, Yuta realized he needed to eat if he was going to wrestle tonight. Even though Yuta wasn't hungry he figured that could be why he looked so terrible. There wasn’t much he had been eating lately. Once up in his room Yuta called for room service, ordering a decent sized breakfast and coffee. The likelihood of him eating everything was slim but at least there would be coffee.
By the time the bell boy came by with Yuta’s breakfast he was showered and watching some movie. After handing off the tip Yuta sat down as the guy left the room. None of the food looked that good to him as he stared down what he ordered. After heavy consideration the coffee and the waffles were taken first. Settling back on the couch to watch the movie, so he had a distraction while he ate.
“Nothing?” The head FBI agent asked in the movie.
“Nothing,” the main guy responded.
“Go home, kid. Get the hell outta here. Get some sleep. You look like shit. They get anything even resembles your guy, I'm on your beeper. Here. You like feta?” The boss agent was offering food to the main guy.
“Feta. My favorite.”
Yuta wasn’t paying much attention, but he realized he’d seen this movie a lot. Like a lot. Enough to remember most of the lines.
“Johnny…” the boss agent said as Yuta finally looked up at the screen, drinking his lukewarm hotel coffee. “All I wanna know is one thing, why didn't you just take the shot?”
“I don't know,” Johnny responded.
“I see why Mox thinks this movie is hot,” Yuta mumbled against the ceramic edge of the cup as the next scene rolled around.
Most of the coffee was gone so quick, Yuta figured it was time to dive into the food. Nothing looked good, but nothing had for days now. The first bite of waffle was actually fantastic. Yuta moaned softly as he started eating quicker. The sweet fluffiness filled Yuta up. New life came over him as he felt warmer and happier as soon as the food hit his stomach.
Even Yuta’s anxiety and depression were lifting. The slow, deep ache he was constantly feeling started to recede. Weight was taken from his shoulders allowing him to actually relax, sinking into the couch as the movie flashed interestingly in front of him. Food practically forgotten about, his entire existence changed.
The couch was breaking away leaving Wheeler feeling like he was floating in water. Gently drifting along the surface in the calm, cool currents. Waves gently rolling onto the beach. A liquid lull that nearly pulled Yuta into blessed sleep. Eyes and body getting heavier like sand washing up on the shore.
The movie played on regardless of Yuta’s state. Mesmerizing colors traced across the scene. As the weight of exhaustion dragged Yuta down he finally drifted off for a moment, thinking about how he needed to set an alarm. Just in case he overslept, but he couldn't will his body into action.
Just as the last bit of consciousness left Yuta he could have sworn he heard the mechanical lock whirling to life on the door. Someone was coming into the hotel room. Even the threat of an unknown person in the room couldn’t motivate Yuta into doing anything more than tip his head to the side to try to see.
“Hey, you’re watching my favorite movie, prince.” Mox’s voice floated through Yuta’s psyche.
+++
Stress. It was all the stress. Like the nurse had said back when Bryan was in the hospital, stress is a very serious thing. This was another stress nightmare. That was the only way Yuta could accept what was happening. Even everything felt the same as that night, as fleeting as Yuta’s memory was of that event.
Slowly waking up to a much darker hotel, it was difficult for Yuta to adjust. The TV was still playing the movie, the food was still out, and he was still on the couch. Somehow it felt different, even looked a little different. Like a dream.
Just like a dream Mox was standing there. Beautifully basked in the glow of his preferred movie, attention captivated by the moving frames. The three quarter profile really showed Mox off to Yuta as he scanned over the shirtless frame of his boyfriend (yes, ex). The trim waist made Mox’s ass pop. Yuta’s eyes hovered over the thick muscles of the other man’s backside before moving up to examine his abs and the way muscle flexed around Mox’s ribcage, and perfectly defined pecs covered in wiry hair.
On screen the final fight between the two guys played, Mox’s eyes locked onto the image. While Patrick Swazye and Keanu Reeves backdropped each other, Mox started undoing his jeans. There was an audible sigh from the pseudo king at the relief. The light blue jockstrap peeked out from under the jeans slipping down his hips.
“This has gotta be a dream,” Yuta muttered as he let his head fall back.
“There’s my prince.” Mox easily tore his eyes away from the screen to smile at his young boy, preferring Yuta to his own favorite movie.
“Wha’s goin’ on, Jon?” Yuta hated not being able to speak well, his words bleeding out at the ends.
“You have a match tonight,” Mox mentioned as he walked around to stand over the other. “You almost done?”
“Wha?” Yuta blinked a few times before he heard another voice.
“One minute and I’ll be finished, King.” Claudio’s voice came from behind the couch.
“Wha’ the fuck?” Yuta jumped, trying to move but nothing moved. In fact something pulled.
“Don’t start that, sweetheart.” Mox reached out to run his fingers through Yuta’s hair, pacifying the panic with affection. “Claudio’s just making sure you’re secure, then it’ll be just the two of us.”
“Jus’ t’two of us?” Yuta blinked up at the other man. Feelings came back to him as he remembered the hospital, instead of being afraid he was confused and horny. Just like now.
“Finished.” Claudio’s voice came over the room once more.
“That was exactly one minute.” Mox grinned over the couch at the other.
“I know,” Claudio acknowledged as he walked around to look at the young man on the couch. “We didn’t want you to strain yourself before your match.”
Mox nodded along, hand coming up to cup the back of Claudio’s head to pull him down for a kiss. Just as they had at the hospital the pair bit more than kissed. Mox did all the biting as he bit into Claudio’s mouth until the larger man bled. There wasn’t as much red as there had been but Claudio wore it proudly, stars lighting up his eyes as he looked down at Mox.
“You’re good,” Mox muttered against the other’s lips.
“I am?” Claudio’s whisper made Yuta feel like this was a moment he wasn’t supposed to experience. It felt odd, out of place. It kind of made the younger man feel even more like he was in a fever dream.
“You are.” Mox placed the larger man’s hand over the tacky cross necklace he had been wearing.
“Thank you, King.” Claudio bowed his head to the other man before starting to step back, but the ‘King’ stopped him.
“If you’d like to say anything to him, give him a little something.” Mox nodded towards Yuta. “Want him to remember who cares about him after all.”
“It is your night--” Claudio shook his head humbly as if he couldn’t even consider taking this time away from his king.
“Remember when it comes to the prince, he’s ours,” Mox insisted.
Yuta was sure he was in some sort of fever dream now. It wasn’t just the fog in his brain. It wasn’t often Claudio was vulnerable like that, in so few words. To Yuta that wasn’t something his old boyfriend would do. Or maybe he was just in denial about what was happening? Thoughts raced back and forth until Claudio came over.
“Sweetheart.” Claudio knelt down, one knee on the carpet just like a knight paying respect.
“Claudio?” Yuta felt teary eyed for some reason.
“I want you to know something very important.” Claudio made sure they kept eye contact, making sure their young boy was listening. “You are an incredible wrestler. Accept your violence. I can tell no one has been taking care of you during this time.” There was a pause where the Swiss giant had to collect himself. “I know you must be exhausted, but you have tonight under control.”
“Wha’?” Yuta recoiled at the faithful trust the other still had in him.
“You can beat Henry any day of the week, under any conditions. I know you can because I trained you.” Claudio bowed his head. “Do not let anyone make you believe you can’t handle what you’re doing tonight. You’ll win, sweetheart.”
“I-I-” Yuta felt himself start to cry a little. Crisp, high emotions soared through every space in his body as the words being directed towards him. “--love you.”
“I love you too.” Claudio leaned forward to catch the other’s lips in a sickeningly sweet kiss sealed in the older man’s blood. “I’ll leave you two to it.”
The tall man stood up from his place kneeling in front of Yuta. Walking away towards the door like a ghost leaving the scene of a haunting. Every weird, strange feeling Yuta had been grappling with welled up like a tsunami, crashing against the sides of his skull. Yuta felt like he might drown in it.
Suddenly it all stopped. Calm waters washed over the shores. Yuta felt himself coming back down from the emotional high. The strange confessional left Yuta heartbroken and motivated in what he previously considered wrong directions. He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back.
At some point it permeated Yuta that Claudio had been tying him up. The crafty freak was able to tie him down. Arms stretched over the back of the coarse hotel couch, wrists tied. There was just enough slack to not strain him. Both ankles were tied in some web Yuta couldn’t figure out. Probably anchored to the feet of the couch, but he wasn’t exactly sure.
What Yuta was sure about was that he was naked. All the clothes he had been wearing seemed to have vanished when he woke up. Not only was he nude, but his cock laid half hard against his thigh. Clearly interested in whatever this was, after all he had been jerking off to the reverse of this not long ago. (Maybe it was a wet dream, Yuta tried to convince himself).
“Hey, baby.” Mox smiled fondly as he walked over to his young boy. “How’re you doing?”
“Don’ know.” Yuta admitted as his eyes honed in on the other man���s crotch. “Wha’s goin’ on?”
“I just wanted to see you before your match,” Mox admitted, a little shrug. “Been thinkin’ about you.”
“Huh.” Yuta couldn’t think of much more to say because Mox looked genuine. The cute puppy quality to the man’s eyes was there. It was the first hint Yuta really saw of his old boyfriend.
“I know you’re going through a lot right now. Everything seems too big and terrifying, I’m sure. Just trust us, okay?” Mox was in nothing but the jock that Yuta was pretty sure he got for the pseudo king. “I wanted it to be just the two of us right now.”
“Trust you?” Yuta laughed at that, maybe that wasn’t fair in such a tender moment but he couldn’t stop himself.
“Yeah. Trust us.” Mox frowned, reaching out to stroke Yuta’s beard. It was untamed at the moment. “Same way you trust Claudio to do your beard on match days.”
“I donno,” Yuta admitted, his eyes growing soft and heavy until he let them close. It was nice to feel affection again that didn’t make his skin crawl.
“That’s okay. I know. Claudio knows.” Mox let his hand drop to the back of the couch so he could move onto the couch himself, settling right on top of his young boy’s lap. “You’re ours, Wheeler. You belong with us. Sooner you realize that the better.”
There were too many words swimming around so Mox leaned in to kiss Yuta softly. Easy and calm, nothing like Yuta was expecting. Their lips danced together, tongues meeting. It was so good, lighting everything up for the younger man as he gave himself over. Slowly Mox started rocking his hips, allowing Yuta to rub his cock against the exposed ass on top of him.
Soft moans were exchanged as they both got into it. The ropes tugged when Yuta tried to move to touch the beautiful body above him. Mox snickered a little at Yuta’s whine. Large hands started to explore since the younger man clearly wanted to. Some kind of denial torment that made Yuta’s pulse quicken. Just the right kind of touches to really stir his appetite.
The hands stayed gentle as Mox’s mouth descended on his young boy’s neck. The rough bites and nips were playful. It felt good enough that Yuta tipped his head to the side so that the other had more skin. Mox was easily entertained, much like a puppy with a new chew toy, just gnawing at the hard muscles.
“Been worried about ya.” Mox finally stopped the oral assault to speak. “Like our big guy said, no one’s been taking care of you.”
“M’fine,” Yuta muttered, his hips rolling as his aching erection called for more attention.
“Don’t lie to me.” Mox cupped the younger man’s cheek, making them see eye to eye. “You don’t have to.”
“I--” Yuta’s head was so foggy he had no idea what he was thinking. “Dreamed o’you?”
“Asking or telling me that, kid?” Mox sat up, shifting back on the lap he was perched on.
“Tellin’.” Yuta blinked a few times, willing the haze to go away. “Oh fuck, Mox.”
A wet, warm hand wrapped around Yuta’s aching dick, a light squeeze that sent sparks all over his body. He felt heightened. Just that touch nearly had Yuta ending prematurely. The gentle glide of Mox’s hand was all he could focus on anymore.
“Feel good, baby?” Mox grinned, leaning in for another kiss. This time it was quicker. “Tell me your dream.”
“Ah. Dreamin’ righ��� now.” Yuta shrugged, or at least attempted to.
“That what it feels like, Wheeler? You’re dreamin’?” Mox questioned.
“Yeah. It’s ’ll warm an’ soft.” Yuta moaned at the skilled way the other knew his way around the cock in hand. “Feels good.”
“Tell me about your dream, sweetheart.” Mox returned to the topic at hand.
“S’not very nice,” Yuta admitted.
“Good. I like it when you’re mean.” Mox let go of his young boy’s cock.
“No,” Yuta whined and opened his eyes.
“Relax. Tell me the dream anyways.” Mox pushed as he repositioned himself over the hard dick he just had in his hand.
“Fuck, Mox.” Yuta was paying more attention as he felt the head of his cock press against Mox’s wet hole. Slight pressure. “Please, please, Wanna fuck you again…”
“You will, sweet prince. You will.” Mox groaned loudly, totally unashamed as he slowly took Yuta’s cock.
“It-- I--” Yuta could’t focus but he wanted to answer. Actually wanted to reveal himself to his tormentor.
“That’s it, Wheeler, fuck. You fill me so fuckin’ good.” Mox let out a sigh of relief as he seated himself fully on the younger man.
“R-Raped you,” Yuta confessed as they looked into each other’s eyes, deeply connected via each other’s bodies.
It wasn't just that Yuta saw how much that turned on Mox. He could feel it too. The insanely tight passage clenched around Yuta’s cock. There was a slight swivel of hips too. The aggressive hunger on Mox’s face pried more details out of the younger man.
“T-Tied your hands…up.” Yuta bit his lip as the man in his lap started moving. “W-With…my belt.”
“Fuck, Wheeler, I’m--” Mox shook his head as he started to really fuck himself. “I wish you had.”
“Fucked,” Yuta said breathlessly, not able to put the phrase together without a pause. “Dry.”
“Bet you did.” Mox groaned, one of his hands lacing through Yuta’s locks at the back of his head. “Fucked me dry until I cried, huh?” The hand tightened, pulling the younger man’s head back hard. “That’s so fuckin’ hot, you don’t even know.”
“It is?” Yuta couldn’t believe that but he thought it was hot obviously.
“Fuck, yeah. You wanna rape me, Wheeler? Make me your bitch? Maybe pay me back for all the shit I did?” Mox grinned at the wide eyed look directed at him.
“Yes!” Yuta nearly found himself shouting, trying to thrust up into Mox but finding little room.
“I want you to too,” Mox confessed right in Yuta’s ear.
Yuta felt his eyes roll back in his head. It was too much. Everything was too hot again. There was a burning inside of the young man, a need to take something back. All he wanted was to be able to break free of the ropes and throw Mox onto the floor. Hell, it seemed like even Mox wanted that. But the ropes didn’t budge. Of course not, Yuta thought to himself, this was exactly where he wanted to be after all.
For some reason Mox started to slow down. A slow, gradual rocking of the hips. It was good, teasingly tender and Yuta wanted to cry. This soft side was too reminiscent of before. Mox’s head was practically resting on Yuta’s shoulder, so the younger man tipped his head in to nuzzle Mox. There was a soft hum of approval that made Yuta smirk as he bit down hard on whatever he could find.
Mox growled in pain as he stopped moving. One rough hand landed on Yuta’s neck while he latched onto the underside of Mox’s jaw. The hand started to squeeze. At first Yuta thought Mox was about to choke him, but that wasn’t it. There was pressure at the bottom of Yuta’s jaw making him slowly unclench his jaw. The way one would do to a dog.
“Disappointing.” Mox grunted as he set up but kept a hand on his captive’s neck. Checking his own neck he touched the bite mark only to find saliva. “No blood?”
“I--” Yuta tried to say something, what he wasn’t sure of, but thankfully Mox stopped him before he needed to think of more words. The hand on his neck moved to tightly hold his chin. “Huh?”
“If you’re gonna hurt me, Wheeler,” Mox grunted as he wiped the spit off his neck onto his hand, “At least make it worth it. Make me bleed. I know you’re better than this.” Mox wiped the bit of spit across Yuta’s face. “You’ve made me bleed plenty of times. C’mon.”
“Fuck…you.” Yuta growled, tugging again at the ropes. “If--If not-- I’m tied down!”
“And I gave you the perfect opportunity to rip my throat out. Take it.” Mox growled.
Something inside Yuta woke up, a fire rekindled. Mox was right. He was capable of hurting the man on top of him, even bound, there were plenty of times Yuta was able to inflict violence. The first thought was to headbutt but they were too far apart with too little slack. Instead Yuta worked up all the spit he could. The medium sized glob landed on Mox’s cheek, catching in the ginger beard hairs.
“Atta boy.” Mox grinned down at his captive. “That’s what we want outta you.”
“Little closer,” Yuta said as he bared his teeth. “I’ll show you more.”
“You better, kid.” Mox winked.
Their lips met suddenly, a hard crash of teeth that pushed Yuta’s head back. The wet spot on the other man’s cheek smeared across Yuta’s darker beard. Tension amped as Mox prepared himself for whatever the younger man was going to do, but Yuta just kissed back.
Slowly Mox untensed, his body going slack as he started to ride his young boy again. The hand on Yuta’s jaw went lax too. An opportunity happened the moment Mox gave up on there being some sort violence. Without hesitation Yuta bit hard into the other man’s lip.
The taste of rich copper was well known to the both of them. Mox gave an initial jerk but Yuta didn’t let go. Sharp teeth dug in deeper the louder the older man moaned. It was hard but Yuta tried his best to buck his hips too. The little bit of room was just enough to send his message.
Blood was in Yuta’s beard now. Instead of pulling away Mox tried to lean in, less tension but it just gave Yuta the opportunity to latch onto another part of the torn lip. For a brief moment Yuta wished he would be able to inflict enough damage to cause stitches, but he doubted he could do that in his current state. Still he tried. His cock throbbed each time he heard the pained whimper from Mox.
One of Mox’s hands was on his own dick, while the other was pushing on Yuta’s shoulder again. Trying to create space or end their bloody kiss all together. It wasn’t going to be on Mox’s terms though. The more the older man tried to get out of the kiss the more Yuta kept his hold firm.
The static electric pleasure was bouncing off the both of them, wiring them together. Against his stomach Yuta could feel how rough Mox was being with his own dick. Hips moving up and down in quick, little motions that were driving Yuta insane but probably did wonders for Mox. Finally Mox dragged his hand over to Yuta’s throat and started to squeeze. A warning to let go.
Yuta did not let go. There was no warning he was willing to heed at this point. He snarled as the hand gripped tighter. The throb of Yuta’s pulse rushed in his ears, keeping time with the ache in his cock. Buried deep inside the man choking him, that man’s blood between them. They fucked as they fought, struggling in a strange display of parallel dominance.
Stars started sparkling in Yuta's vision as darkness carved out the edges. Carefully breathing through the choking was ingrained in the young man, but it was eventually too much. Mox’s bloodied mouth was released, Yuta’s head falling back as he searched for air. Once released Mox let go of his young boy’s neck.
The entire time Mox had his hand on his dick. After a few seconds Yuta could barely open his eyes, looking up at the pseudo king. Red smeared, some even dripping. Mox looked so pleased, so turned on. Finally the hand on his dick stopped only to come up to collect some blood and reach back into his jock.
“Fuck,” Yuta muttered, opened-mouth breathing because of all the blood and spit.
“What’s wrong, kid?” Mox smirked like he had achieved something but the younger man just shook his head.
“It’s hot,” Yuta admitted, his eyes trying to catch sight of the inside of the jock. “Lemme see your hand.”
“Sick fuck.” Mox once more brought his hand out, presenting it to Yuta.
All of the mixed fluids gathered in Yuta’s mouth were spat into the awaiting hand. It wasn’t going to be good lube; there was something disgusting and hot about Mox smearing his spit and blood all over his dick. The look of pleasure that came over his face made Yuta moan too.
“S’hot. H-Hard--” Yuta tried to encourage. “Harder.”
“Hm. Demanding brat.” Mox’s tongue stuck out a little as he kept the pace and depth he was at.
“Fuck you,” Yuta grunted, trying to hold onto the anger in the sea of pleasure. “What’d’you wann’ from me?”
“Tell me you’re gonna win. Tell me you’re going to fuck Henry up.” Mox looked sternly down at the other, their eyes staying locked. “All I want is you to win and keep winning.”
“Weird…way’o showin’ it,” Yuta muttered, trying to shake off the hand.
Something dark took over Mox’s face. It wasn’t anger, but Yuta had a feeling he was in trouble. The hand returned to the younger man’s neck, holding him still as Mox leaned in. Slow tantalizing rock of their hips kept the pleasure heightened. Blood-wet lips pressed against Yuta’s ear.
“You have no idea.” Mox’s husky voice echoed through his young boy’s ear. “Think I haven’t been where you are right now? Where do you think we learned it all from, kid? You’ll understand, soon. Just enjoy it, like you have been.”
“Don’ wan’ this.” Yuta tried again but his dick was still rock hard inside the other.
“Neither did I,” Mox admitted, his teeth nibbling on his young boy’s ear. “It was still hot as fuck. It didn’t matter what I wanted, it was about giving me what I needed. I had no choice in the matter because Lordship knew best.”
“Jon, please.” Yuta tried to shake his head.
“It’s okay. You can imagine it,” Mox teased, deciding to pick up the pace now. Powerful thighs working to bring him further up and back down. They moaned together.
“Fuck.” Yuta’s broken sob came from his chest. Somehow Mox knew that he was getting off to this. His brain conjured up the exact images he needed to imagine the scene Mox was telling. It made an intense guilt pool with the horniness.
“The first time was in the locker rooms. It was fucking insane. We fought, but of course I couldn’t win.” Mox kissed down Yuta’s neck. “Not when my head felt like yours.” Teeth scratched at Yuta’s pulse. “We’re different, Wheeler.”
“Different.” Yuta had closed his eyes long ago, violent pornographic scenes playing for him. There was something that needed to be reconciled deep within, some sort of split that Yuta needed to stitch together.
“Fuck me. You remind me so much of Claudio.” Mox panted, really working himself up now. “You just think you have to be such a nice guy, baby, but you don’t. It took so much to break that nice guy act down, but once you get underneath? There’s so much more. He just never knew it either.”
“Mox?” Yuta grunted, pushing against the hand. “Mox?”
“Hey, relax.” Mox let go of his young boy’s face, and pulled away so he couldn’t be attacked. “What?”
“I’m gonna win. I’m gonna fuck Henry up. Doesn’t matter-- forgot my boots or not. Fuckin’ win.” Yuta forced the words out as he looked up into the king’s face.
“God damn right,” Mox growled. “You’re fuckin’ perfect, Wheeler.”
Their foreheads came together, nuzzling at each other as if this were the ring. They shared each other's air and space. Despite being joined they weren’t close enough. Mox scrambled, grabbing and pressing himself fully against his young boy, blood and sweat allowing their skin to slide together.
Tears caught in the corners of Yuta’s eyes. There wasn’t anything wrong, he wasn’t hurting or upset. Were they were happy tears? Yuta had to admit they were. The emotion welling up inside him at Mox calling him perfect stitched the broken parts of Yuta back together. He felt so raw and new, like a freshly healed wound.
The rough way their bodies were moving together was countered by the soft kisses Mox laid across his young boy’s cheek. Their lips ended up together again, rough but normal aside from the blood. A shaky half moan, half sob wormed its way out of Yuta’s chest.
“Let it out. No one else’ll know,” Mox spoke, still lip to lip, muttering in barely audible words. “Want us to come together, baby.”
“Please, Mox, please.” Yuta begged for release as the tears started to slide down his face.
“Fuck. Good boy. Look at you.” Mox watched the tears slipping down Yuta’s face, he hadn’t stopped really working his hips but he was finally starting to ride his young boy properly. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty, baby.”
The more Mox said the more of Yuta’s tears slipped out. More compliments, soft words following. The unshakable faith Mox had in his young boy, what he saw in his young boy, all the while riding Yuta to the breaking point.
“Ah, fuck. Come on. Be a good boy, and come with daddy, yeah?” Mox growled, his hand being shoved back into his jockstrap.
“Daddy,” Yuta hiccuped between his moans and crying.
“Yeah, baby, c’mon. You’re all pent up.” Mox was breathless as he sweet talked. “Ain’t no one been takin’ care of you, huh? And I’ve been playing with you far too long. Fill daddy up, Wheeler. Be a good boy.”
The words were going straight to Yuta’s cock. Sure there were plenty of times Mox begged to be bred, but this time he wasn’t begging. Practically ordering his young boy in the nicest way. Yuta felt his balls tighten as Mox purposely squeezed around him, making himself tight.
Yuta snapped at the tight feeling squeezing his cock, coming deep inside the tight passage. They shared more fluid as Yuta felt his seed flood Mox. Somehow Mox managed to shoot off at the same time causing senstational spasms through him to Yuta’s cock, massaging and milking him. They slumped together but Yuta could still feel his cock twitching and leaking.
Despite not wanting this Yuta was desperate for more, he even wished Claudio was there to take a turn. His cock was aching for more action. Mox was slowly rocking on his hips in Yuta’s lap.
“You’re a good boy, Wheeler,” Mox muttered. “But you’re only a good boy for us. Understand?”
“Yeah.” Yuta responded automatically as he floated through his post orgasm bliss. At this point he'd agree to practically anything.
“You belong with us.” Mox reiterated as he slowly kissed up Yuta's neck.
“You sure?” Yuta moaned softly at the teasing kissing.
“I'm sure.” Mox kissed the shell of his young boy's ear. “Been sure since those first forty seconds, baby.”
+++
Brrring. Brrrring.
A calamity of noise loudly rang out in the near empty hotel room. Cold food sat out since the morning, but the TV had turned itself off after a few hours. Everything was nearly pitch black.
Brrrrring. Briiiiing.
There was a heavy fog settled over Yuta’s mind, even trying to wake up in panic didn’t work. A clammy, cold sweat took over his entire body as he laid on the couch, slumped over from sitting up while he fell asleep. Everything moved like a washing machine so Yuta laid back down on the couch for a moment. The noise continued but Yuta was finding himself drifting back to sleep.
Brrriiing. Briiiiing. Briiiiing. Briiiing.
Finally it stopped so Yuta closed his eyes completely to let himself go back to sleep. There were thoughts swimming around that he couldn’t make heads or tails of at the moment. It was too much to try to decipher currently as words and images played out. And just as Yuta shoved those things out of his mind enough to sleep another noise started.
Knock. Knock.
That was at the door. It dawned on Yuta that the weird sound before had been the hotel phone and now there was knocking on his door. Slowly he started to get up, the rushing world around him blurred as he tried to get upright. A coffee cup was knocked over on the table but Yuta didn’t pay any mind to it.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Comin’.” Yuta finally found his raspy voice. It sounded like he’d slept with his mouth open, scratching his throat.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Coming!” Yuta stumbled step by step to the door, using the wall to help him. The door was finally opened. “Hi?”
“Mr. Yuta.” A woman about Yuta’s age stood on the other side with a concerned smile. “Our front desk attempted to call 3 times for your wake up call,” she informed him as she took a look at him. “So I came up to make sure you’re okay.”
“Oh. Fuck.” Yuta rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah. I’m okay. My sleeping has been messed up a lot from all the traveling. Thank you for coming up.”
“It’s no problem, sir. Can I get you anything?” she asked as he gave the young man another look over.
“Um.” Yuta froze for a few seconds but then nodded. “Coffee?”
“Sure. I’ll have it sent right up, sir.” She smiled, gave a little bow, and took off.
The door clicked shut, the auto lock turning with a whirl. Alone, Yuta stood there for a moment with his forehead pressed against the cold metal door. Flashes of what he could only assume was another stress nightmare plagued his eyes. Slowly he turned around to slump back against the door.
Resting against the door Yuta looked down at his hands. There were no marks from fighting back. No rope burn or bruising on his wrists like he expected from being tied to the couch. Nothing. Not even irritation or muscle strain. The young man forced himself off the door too quickly, everything swam around his vision as he stumbled back towards the cold food on the coffee table.
Frantically Yuta started stacking the plates to put the room service cart in the hall. Secretly he was searching for some hidden clue that the dreams he was having were real. Nothing. Again there wasn’t anything abnormal about the coffee table. Attentions were turned towards the couch, but there wasn’t any evidence there either.
Vaguely Yuta could remember blood and come during his dream. Blankets of craziness started to suffocate him as he rushed into the ensuite bath. The bright lights bounced off the shiny mirror while Yuta’s eyes took too long to adjust. Most of his weight bared on the sink counter as he stared the reflection down.
Other than the horrible bags under Yuta’s eyes there weren't any other signs of distress or activities. It was hard to fish for pieces but Yuta tried remembering. No bite marks or bruises. Hell, Yuta didn’t even feel like he had some freaky sex.
“It was just a nightmare,” Yuta muttered to his reflection.
All those movie scenes where a character punched their mirror all made sense in that one moment. Everything about the reflection was something Yuta hated. The exhaustion in his dark eyes, the palness, the waning muscles. It all made a rock of self hate settle in the young man’s stomach. The reflection wasn’t who he truly was, but every day he was feeling more and more like the ghost before him.
“Fuck you,” Yuta growled at the man in the mirror. “You’re weak. You wouldn’t be able to beat Henry.” He narrowed his eyes, anger and pain starting a fire. “But I can.”
The lights were cut off sharply as Yuta left the room. Whatever fog was lifting as he came out of the bathroom to get dressed. Everything was coming into sharp focus, something inside him shifted into the right place. There was a sense of confidence that was back.
All Yuta needed was his bags and he went to leave. Along the way he passed the hotel employee bringing up the pot of coffee, but Yuta didn’t have time to lament the lost coffee. He pulled the hood over his head as he got out to his car to leave for the arena.
+++
Once at the arena Yuta was hit by a wave of longing for his team. Hesitantly he pulled his phone out to check the messages he knew Bryan hadn’t sent. There was nothing new. As he opened up the message field to type something out a text came in at the top. Yuta blinked a few times as his blood ran cold.
It took a moment to build up the courage. As the screen with Bryan remained unchanged, a text from Claudio awaited. Closing his eyes Yuta took a deep breath before pulling up the new message.
“You’re going to win tonight. Remember Anthony Henry isn’t someone to be taken lightly, but you are the better competitor. You are stronger, more violent, and technically sound. Remember your training. Good luck, Wheeler. Not that you need it.”
This was the message that Yuta carved from Bryan. The advice and support that could be easily given. All of the earlier clarity was receding, leaving a void of emotion as everything settled in. There was no reason for Yuta to be getting supportive texts from Claudio but not Bryan. This couldn't just be about Bryan being hurt right now, even though he’d gone running and to doctor’s appointments.
With a scowl Yuta returned to his message with his mentor. The letters appeared under his thumbs as he let his emotions drive his actions. Hitting send without even considering otherwise. There was something deeply wrong and it was breaking inside Yuta.
“I’m going to fucking win tonight.”
The car door slammed. Anger and confusion swirling around in Yuta’s head as he made his way inside. Everything was feeling numb and far away. Just before the corner that led to the locker rooms Yuta felt his phone go off, he stopped to open the message. A small smile spread when he saw it was from Bryan.
“I’d hope so, Wheeler. It’s Anthony Henry.”
That was all. Yuta closed his eyes, counted to ten and put his phone away. Being immediately accosted by the media team made Yuta shut down. He could hear words but they didn’t make much sense. Expect the word Bryan. Somehow he found himself talking, but he wasn’t exactly sure what he was saying either. The words weren’t anything.
The jab Bryan made about forgetting his boots played over and over in his head for some reason. Even as he spoke quietly about Bryan’s condition. As the zipper came apart Yuta instantly realized he somehow did forget his boots. They weren’t tucked away in the under pocket of the gear bag meant for them.
Panic set in as Yuta walked away from the conversation. The one thing. The stupid one thing that he just couldn’t forget. Once in the empty locker room still labeled BCC Yuta paced around as he tried to remember if he just left them in the hotel or all the way at Bryan’s place. There was a memory Yuta had of packing the boots but not taking anything out at the hotel so nothing was forgotten. It wasn’t like Yuta’s memory was super reliable.
“Fuck, fuck.” Yuta shook his head. Anything else could have been forgotten but not this. “Maybe uh…the tailors?”
Without much thought Yuta went along to find the costume, wardrobe, and tailor people. It wasn’t a fruitful journey. Wrestlers were too particular so they didn’t keep any kind of boots on hand or shoes for wrestling in general. Too many varieties, they said as Yuta walked off in a semiconscious state.
The lonely, cold locker room was depressing. A lot of ideas were running through the young boy’s head, like did he have to wrestle shoeless? Rage was washing up on the shores of Yuta’s emotions until he noticed something sitting by his gear,
“What the actual fuck?!” Yuta screamed as he saw a pair of his boots tossed near his bag. “I don’t fucking--”
Deep heavy breaths started to help there be some level of calm. Enough to go look at the pair. They were just some random pair of his boots, but not the ones he thought he packed. Leaning down Yuta realized there was a piece of paper tucked inside the right boot.
Heard you were missing boots. You left these in my truck last time we were in Ohio together. You’re gonna fucking kill Henry tonight. --MOX
Upon closer inspection Yuta could remember leaving these. They weren’t his favorite, for some reason the instep was too narrow on the right foot. Last time these boots were on his feet was in Ohio, he remembered tossing them in annoyance in the back and refusing to get them as a joke. If Mox was in the building, he would have driven here in that truck and saw Yuta’s interview moment. It made sense, it made perfect senses.
But Yuta was pretty sure he packed his fucking boots.
#ranger written#wheeler Yuta#jon moxley#bryan danielson#william regal#fanfic#fanfiction#blackpool combat club#bcc#death riders#aew#aew fanfiction#aew fanfic#wrestling fanfiction#wrestling fanfic#aew fic#all elite wrestling#claudio castagnoli#Wheeler Yuta/Jon Moxley#Wheeler Yuta/Bryan Danielson#Wheeler Yuta/Claudio Castagnoli#BCC Polycule#fic taaoqr
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food for the vampire au. comforting geto after his vampire transition and hardships with bloodlust by establishing a care ritual, such as brushing his hair in silence during the first kills period. while is body is still adjusting to this new reality. the experience is otherworldly and it's expected that'll take a short time. and you're there guiding him to manage his thoughts and emotions by reminding him of your touch. sometimes cleaning his hands and changing his shirt (more like just taking it off and letting it fall to the floor, haha). soft humming in the background. the world is peaceful here. maybe his cheeks are still stained in red. to take care of each other. to be loved. it's one of the most important things during such a big change and it touches the very core of his heart. and it turns into a lifelong ritual of intimacy even after geto is well and a skillful vampire. he still falls into the gentleness of having you brush his long, long hair softly. domestic. simplicity in how it takes place. he's forever grateful for the life he's been gifted by your side. i think it's a cute concept. big strong guy gets his long ass hair brushed and care for by his beloved wife.
OMGGGGG MOMO!!!!! THIS IS SOO GOOD????
seriously i had yet to think about that time of their life but i shOULD'VE BEEN DOING THAT ALL ALONG THIS IS SO IMPORTANT
he really is a stray cat who was given a warm home and more importantly someone who takes care of him. washing the blood of his hands and face, washing his hair while he sits in the massive bathtub, combing it, dressing him - it's all done with so much care he doesn't know what to do with himself at first. it all feels so unnatural.
letting him drink your blood (bc he deserves the best) from your wrist, watching him try to hold back on the urge, the need, to drink more. he never takes too much. never. you have to push him to drink more because he has to. silly man. he's just soooooo grateful for you and he doesn't wanna be too much but you just keep reminding him that he isn't. he's here, he's alive, he's with you and he deserves everything in the world.
during the days (first hours maybe even) there's so much happening i imagine him snapping at you or just acting very rash. his hands are jittery because he needs to eat, he needs to drink. and you're so calm and it's throwing him off so much but then you calmly caress his face and offer him your neck with a soft eyes and a smile and it's just ohhhhhh. he knows you'll take care of him. "to take care of each other. to be loved." YEAAHHHHHHH
oh i love them so so so much. it takes sugu a minute to get used to the new lifestyle just like u said bUT YOU'RE THERE AND IT MAKES EVERYTHING OK. and when he gets comfy in his new home and he has finally understood that it's okay to take up space that's when he blooms. i just got the vision of him maybe owning a fucking museum or something like that??? like he definitely has a job (it has to be art related in my head) but yk it's not something where he has to be there all the time. he loves it though. it's an 24h museum. canon bc i said so. and it's free, nobody needs to pay for a ticket bc sugu feels like that's wrong. (this is why the reader loves him. he cares so much.) so sugu goes to visit the museum every other night when it gets dark and he's so happy to see all of the people still there that late? i mean i would go it'd be so fun??? all of the couples and sometimes even some kids running around. makes him smile. OKAY HE'S LIKE A REAL SOFTIE IN MY HEAD IN THIS APPARENTLY SUE ME and sometimes the reader and him go together and they walk through the whole thing hand in hand, reader resting their head on his shoulder. wah cute little vamps
ok i really started spitballing here i'm going off topic but i started thinking about their kills, their food. who'd they drink from? oke literally as i was typing this i thought that they'd just drink from rich people yk i think that's a good one. bc sugu wouldn't really want to drink from some random people bc he feels bad for them a bit i think. and the reader doesn't fuck with the rich people (even though they're literally rich too tf??) i think they think the rich people are TOO SNOBBY and it's funny to drink from them bc they're just so fucking stupid. and it's easy. sugu and the reader are always invited to these fancy parties and everybody wants to be their friend. oh my god wait more rambling incoming. what if they also have a person hired for bringing them people??? that's a little fucked up but well that's just the way it is. they don't always have the time (they just don't wanna bother sometimes) so they hired a guy who like picks people up by offering them i don't know what and then brings them to the manor lmao that's funny. okayokay i'll stop now
BTWWWW MOMO MY SWEET do u have any songs that remind u of them? i have fallen into this soundtrack making hole lmao and it's so fun to hear other people's opinions!!!
@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat i'm grabbing ur hand and sitting u down here with us bc we're all in this together yayyy
#THANK U FOR THIS MOMO#SERIOUSLY#so fun to talk about them hehehehe#if u ever have any more thoughts about them PLEAAAAASEEEE come and tell me#it's never too much or too long okay????? i just need u to know that#momo <3#friends!!#mickey can't stop thinking
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Hi, how are you doing? Just want to let you know that this is my first time sending you an ask. I love your energy here, been following you for a while. You're always so positive and supportive of other’s work. I love this about you💖
I love your writing so much. Fan would not be suffice to say how big supporter of your work i am. 💗 you created this awesome world for us, I'm grateful that you exist.
It might sound stupid but in your opinion what could be the places other than bed Steve would want to have sex with reader😉 is he the type who enjoys shower sex that continues on bed for the whole night? 😉
Hey nonnie 🥰
I must admit, this took a turn I did NOT expect at all but I love it 😂💕
First of all, thank you for so much kind words and for reaching out 🥰 I makes me truly happy you feel like my energy here (as little of it as it seems to be lately) is positive! Call me naive, but I really like the idea of curating a friendly atmosphere here, because most of us I think are coming here to unwind and share our thoughts and creations, small or big, and it takes A LOT of time and energy and courage to give out a piece of art (a piece of you) out here... so let's hear it for those who do that 💕
I'm just delighted that you enjoy my work too 🥺 Hopefulyl it brings a smile to your face every once in a while 😘
As for the other thing... 😏
MATURE CONTENT UNDER CUT. Minors DNI.
Oooooh, I think Steve is a very much 'cannot keep hands to himself when the mood strikes for long' kind of guy.
But he's also respectful and makes sure his girl is comfortable - or at least comfortable with being uncomfortable. I'm not sure if this is a question about a specific 'reader', so I'll be focusing on Steve - and on a fem!reader (though some are possible for others too, I suppose).
Bed: This one is obvious to me. Be it sweet loving, worship-like kneeling at the altar of reader's body (if you catch my drift), he appreciates a bed, okay. That piece of furniture still offers a lot of possibilities.
Shower: I can see it, no prob, have written it before 😇 It wouldn't be like, let's go to shower and go at it - I imagine it could be after a mission, helping each other clean up and things going side-ways. It could be they are freezing after hours outside and they decide to warm up together, in more way than one.
Other than these things... like I said. Wandering hands.
If let's say the reader happens to be making breakfast in Steve's shirt only, you might as well wave a red flag in front of a bull. Steve has no qualms about alternative uses of a kitchen counter. I think he'd be big on domesticity and the combination of his girl in his/their kitchen in the morning, more so if wearing his clothes (hello possessivness) would drive him near feral (yup, I used that word).
Some days it be like that, that they simply won't make it as far as the bedroom. Steve doesn't only appreciate horizontal surfaces. He loves vertical ones too. That man enjoys hauling his lover up by the thigs and taking them against the wall. Or the door. Hell, maybe even a mirror, I mean, men they tend to be visual types - especially since our boy is an artist ✨
Combinations allowed. Just because they didn't amke it to the bed for teh first round doesn't mean they won't use the comfy matress for the second... or third... or-
That said, I believe him to be a private guy - filthy but private in this matter. He would tease about others hearing you two or seeing you, but he wouldn't proceed if there was a chance of anyone catching you in the act for real. Possibly only after, and that would be after he made sure you were... 'decent'.
Bonus: I can imagine some holiday lovin' in front of a fireplace 🥰 Steve would be very appreciative of the way light and shadows wrap his lover's body - artists' eye, again -and would enjoy just running his fingertips or lips over their skin, watching goosebumps rising to his loving (and teasing) touch.
There we go - I hope this works 💕 I had fun 🤭
Thank you again for reaching out, sweet😘
#reply#anika replies#LEMONS#SO MANY LEMONS#steve rogers headcanon I suppose#Steve Rogers headcanon#steve rogers x reader#sweet asks#asks
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Part 1 of Tomozuki drabbles and things!
Yep that's right, the even rarer of the two Kenji rarepairs gets an entire post!
I'm taking a break from writing anything big after I finished the Tomozuki 5 chapter, so thought I should start gathering all my ideas and ramblings again Like the kenjikoto posts, you're free to expand on / finish these ideas for fic or art, just let me see! Inspiring people is a huge boost to my drive to create!
Guest Starring Makomoru, because they keep finding their way in here, Kenjikoto and tomozukikoto / tomozukimako! [Ryoji x Kenji x Makoto] (I haven't decided what 3 way ship name makes the most sense)
My tired brain is just thinking of morning clinginess
I see both Kenji and Ryoji being people who hold like a pillow and don't let go. Great, Tomozuki is comfortable while they sleep! Until they need to get up. Kenji trying to wriggle out, but Ryoji is locked on. Try to slip out or push him off? He's adjusting to lie half on Kenji. Now even more stuck. Kenji just gives up and accepts he's gonna be lying here for another hour
Vs Kenjikoto. Makoto needing to get up, still tired and hazy. Kenji curled up around him? He just drags Kenji up with him. Both slowly shuffling so they can stay connected during the morning routine. Kenji staying mostly asleep until Makoto makes them both coffee. Then it's Makoto's turn to curl back up against Kenji until they need to do anything
AKA I love and adore soft daily domesticity
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Ryoji's first winter, totally absorbed with just watching the snowflakes fall down And gets nailed back of the head with a snowball by Makoto
Who then points next to him, blaming Kenji Kenji barely able to stutter, no he didn't - before Ryoji's tackles him into the snow without a second thought
Kenji flailing that this isn't equal at all, why does a snowball get you tackled, now stuck under Ryoji Ryoji too busy laughing to get up, and hey Kenji's pretty warm, it feels nice. Might just stay here
Makoto hitting them with more snowballs cause they're in no place to stop him
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This one I can't decide if fully in character, it's more just funny idea for Tomozukikoto.
Kenji maybe just a little bit jealous or insecure about some things. Like every time Ryoji kisses Makoto, Kenji has to as well, don't question him on it! So Ryoji sometimes just kisses Makoto's cheek just to tease Kenji, and then Makoto is stuck between two guys who won't stop being affectionate, which you think wouldn't be bothersome but he's trying to get stuff done
Also can twist the idea to be that Makoto and Ryoji can tell Kenji's being a bit under the weather due to insecurity, so Makoto hugs first (since he's kinda bad at it), Ryoji hugging them both and now Kenji is stuck in the world's strongest hug.
"Makoto and his two boyfriends who are over affectionate in different ways (dog and cat)" just presents a lotta cute funny opportunities ha.
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If Kenjikoto is "streetlights shining on rain slicked concrete, kissing under umbrellas where only we exist" vibe Then tomozuki is definitely a "clear skies with salt spray, tinging our kisses as we hold each other in the sun, wishing the moment could be bottled" vibe to contrast
Combined, they're something like "sitting on the boardwalk in the rain barely fitting under cover, enjoying everything nature gives to us, hands locked in our own bubble - own time"
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Overthinking Ryoji again Does he know how to swim? Like how much of Makoto's actual knowledge and skills does he have?
Because tomozuki beach date. If he can't swim, Kenji can at least be there to keep him from drowning, also an excuse to hold hands forever. If he does know. Can throw himself into increasingly bigger waves and actually do all the fun beach things with Kenji.
Ryoji standing up after getting bowled over in the water, hair plastered to his face. Kenji going up to help push it all back and. Oh. They're really close. And were Ryoji's eyes always so pretty?
Then the choice of
they get to kiss because it's cute and romantic Or
another wave knocks them both over and get to laugh (and still get to kiss)
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I'm stuck with a headache so I've just been thinking of kenjikoto and tomozuki and how they show affection more
Like the idea of each of them having a way or place they kiss more often
Ryoji is forehead and nose
Makoto corner of the mouth and hands
Kenji the cheek. Maybe a hand if he's feeling brave or trying to be gentlemanly
Makoto leaning on people or pressing up against them when they sit. Ryoji lying himself across people or finding any excuse to touch them. Kenji keeping their fingers intertwined, squeezing extra firm when they hug.
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Kenji eating lunch, and Ryoji leaning all over him, prob stealing food when Kenji isn't looking
Hidetoshi then approaches them... What does he want?
"I do hope you know excessive PDA can wait until after school. I swear, it's like you're glued together… We won't need to talk about this again, right?"
Ryoji straightening up, holding his hands placatintly, "Not at all, I completely understand, Odagiri-kun! I won't you cause anymore trouble~"
A hmph and Hidetoshi leaves -- he does not like Ryoji, the guy is causing scenes that he has to deal with constantly -- and the second he's gone Ryoji snuggles into Kenji even closer, now he's gotta enjoy it before he's caught right?
Kenji's been blue screened since Hidetoshi mentioned PDA. They're not dating, Ryoji's just friendly! PDA, how dumb is that?! … And then gets stuck thinking about exactly how touchy Ryoji is with him vs anyone else. Realizing he never sees him doing this to anyone else, at least not at school.
Ryoji too busy cuddling to notice.
Go hide on the rooftop if you wanna be all cutesy, Hidetoshi will find you otherwise
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Raincode AU Ideas
Since I started Raincode, my brain connected dots and ended up at: MC Kenji and Shinigami Ryoji. Ryoji is Thanatos, after all
Yuma being the most "normal" guy, Kenji made sense to me to fit the role. Everyone just like "nah, no way This Guy could be important." Surprise! He's got a pact with death (I could see Kenji trying some ritual like that anyway, thinking it's some dumb thing people only do in shows but whoops it real!)
Shorter than everyone else
Everyone underestimating him cause he doesn't look like he fits the part
Overthinking and overreacting because what is going on
Thinks his memories are worth trading for a pact?
I think there are all Kenji-core actions ha!
Also imagine shinigami's lil ball form But Thanatos? I squish
Planning / plotting issues come from most of the WDO team having such distinctive personalities, it's hard to equate to someone in P3. Might have to go off powers instead Makoto as Vivia is the only thing I'm 100% set on. Mitsuru for Halara I like a lot too, but I'll have to finish the game before coming back and solidifying everything
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Ice Skating AU (+ Makomoru)
Makomoru ice skating AU. An excellent pair who's won many competitions, and gotten runner up in even more, still competes to try and get ever better. Started out as rivals in singles, and one day realized they were stronger as a pair than alone.
Kenji has always looked up to Makoto, dreaming of one day they'd be good enough to skate in competitions together (childhood friends AU?), but Kenji was never as good as Makoto. After seeing Makoto flourish in doubles he knows he also wants to try, but it keeps falling apart before his eyes.
Kenji's been stuck in singles, stagnating, because his doubles partners fall through, get frustrated with him, or aren't compatible physically, or Kenji was never their first choice so they would leave him for someone else first chance they got.
Enter Ryoji! Up and coming singles skater with great potential. Was also very inspired by Makoto and Mamoru and how beautiful pairs skating can be, wanted to try doubles, his coach also thinks it'd be good for his training if he worked with others for awhile. Everyone else has partners, so he gets Kenji
Kenji a bit jaded after so many people dropping him, also at himself for not improving at the pace he wants. But… things actually go very well. Ryoji adapts to Kenji quickly, and Kenji understands and can follow Ryoji easily. Plus Ryoji's height + strength means they can do more dramatic moves then Kenji was able to before.
Even after just a few weeks of training, Kenji can understand why Makoto flourished, why he glows when he and Mamoru skate. Ryoji also starts to improve, wanting him and Kenji to reach great heights together. Over the months, Ryoji genuinely starts to fall for Kenji and how... normal he is, compared to so many skaters he knows. How dorky and determined, but down to earth he is.
Both of their final goals are to stand with Makoto and Mamoru on the podium
Also also I love ice skating outfits, they're so fun
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Ryoji Lives AU
Ideas about a continuation of Chapter 5 of "First Kisses - Tomozuki Edition". Because I can't leave anything bittersweet alone
Ryoji, many months after March, just. Standing. In the middle of an open space, seemingly looking at nothing. No scarf, but so clearly that's Ryoji. How had Kenji forgotten Ryoji? It's been so many months, Ryoji's here. He's frozen in place, unable to look away from that tall form.
Ryoji, seeming to know he's being stared at, turns and meets Kenji's eyes. Realization, light sparking as eyes widen. He remembers
Both see each other and just know. That's their person. We got taken away from each other too soon Ryoji jumping into Kenji's arms and so badly not wanting to let go.
But neither remember much else. Kenji knows this is Ryoji, knows he was important to him. But who was he to everyone else? Nobody recognizes him
Ryoji knows this is Kenji, that's the ring and scarf he gave him, so tenderly cared for. But why'd he give him those things if he was coming back? Some form of promise?
Both having to help each other as all the memories click back into place, defying fate and everything else.
A confusing and patchwork overlap where it's a lot of relearning and rediscovering But they still fall in love / stay in love through it all. Ryoji has too big a heart to ever forget the people he gave everything to.
Probably recall more and more as he meets SEES again, eventually will remember enough to tell Kenji the whole truth. And they've been through too much for Kenji to leave him for that
#tomozuki#ryoji mochizuki#kenji tomochika#persona 3 ryoji#persona 3 kenji#p3 ryoji#p3 kenji#makomoru#mamoru hayase#makoto yuki#persona 3 mamoru#persona 3 makoto#p3 mamoru#p3 makoto#persona 3#p3#persona rarepair#rarepair#drabble#rarepair fic#p3 fanfic#raincode#Raincode P3 AU#Ice Skater AU#Ryoji Lives AU#tomozukikoto#ryomina#kenjikoto
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Aaaah this was so cute as always!!! I think it shows so well the way you portray that there's love, joy and beauty even in the small domestic moments. It's something I really love about your stories 🥺🥺🥺
I freak out every time I see them planning their future together in the parts where they still don't live together yet, so to see them moving in and being so excited about it just made me so happy.
“it’s a mini one. the one i use to display my favorite book.” you pout to point at it standing in the second level of the shelf. he recognizes it as the limited edition book he bought you last year, and the flashbacks of him standing in line for hours to get it signed by the author are inescapable." They always do these kinds of special things for each other and it's so cute. It made me think about how it doesn't even exactly matter what their primary love languages are because they satisfy all five always anyway 🥺
"you don’t know if you’re blinded by love, putting your trust in jungkook when he said that he wanted to build a life with you; or if it’s arrogance, having the trust in your ability to stand on your own feet again incase a match is thrown in a puddle of fuel on the floor. the latter is more painful to think about, quite frankly. just because you can, doesn’t mean that you want to. you have to. you have to. with bruised knees from praying for a little more time, you have to. the earth doesn’t stop orbiting the sun when your house burns down." 😭😭😭 beautiful beautiful words.
"jungkook being jungkook, singing comes naturally to him after breathing and more than blinking. he hums, chest vibrating against yours as he does so, occasionally singing the lyrics in between because he means them. a tattooed arm protectively wraps around you to keep you glued to his body each time he leans forward. his careful movements, along with his mellifluous voice, fool your senses into believing that you’re being carried out by the ocean waves to the shore of dreamland." This is why I love reading your stories before bed, Art. They are so incredibly warm and comforting.
"and there’s an inexplicable emotion stirring in his chest as he covers you with the blanket, accompanied by the epiphany that he is doing this at 2am not because time has arrived to daunt him and he needs to leave your bed to go home. not anymore. whatever this is, it feels so fucking good. oh my god, he looks forward to spending the rest of his life feeling you breathe next to him, getting lost in how peaceful you look asleep when he randomly wakes up in the middle of the night." 🥺🥺🥺 See this is what I mean!!!! Before they move in, he's thinking about living with OC and when they move in together, he's thinking about being with them forever. It's the most precious thing 🥺🥺🥺
"fuck fuck fuck, he curses inside his head. his heart flips and drops to his stomach. holy shit, yes he is. it’s infuriating, how it requires you little to no effort to have him wrapped around your finger. the endearing sight automatically tugs at his heartstrings, urging him to cradle your soft cheeks in between his large palms." 🥺🥺🥺 I can't stop using this emoji, they make me so soft.
"and jungkook is intently watching you with as much self-control he can muster. the urge to grab your face and kiss you senselessly is palpable, wrapping itself around his limbs like vines that have a life of their own, desperate to dip into the sun for a taste. they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and he can attest to that to a certain degree… but dear god, its lack thereof?" I loooove the vines line a lot!! And also the fact that their affection and how much they need each other never falters, no matter the distance is so amazing.
I love their softness and the way that they care for each other, but I also love their banter and the way they tease each other too. The way they match each other's vibes always, whether that's mischief and competitiveness or seeking and giving comfort and affection. It all shows how much they love each other and how they're literally made for each other. I love them so so much!!!
summary: in which moving in together is a herculean task and jungkook teaches you how to fold his underwear.
> est. relationship, fluff, angst lowkey / wc: 3.2k
> warnings: mention of h!ckeys and or*l s*x (f. receiving), allusion to c*ckwarming and s*x
> in which masterlist!
note: who else will drunkenly research about men’s underwear and scroll through calvin klein’s website at 2am to write this for shit and giggles and self-indulgence if not art <3 as always i love hearing your thoughts thru reblogs/comments/asks !! 🥺
—
“pssst.”
“oh shit-”
jungkook looks up to find you standing by the doorframe of the walk-in closet, and the view instantly weaves a stupidly whipped grin on his handsome face. your hair is messy from sleep; your eyes are still half-lidded; and your lips are wrapped around the straw of the red water tumbler you’re clutching in your hands.
“baby! you scared me! what are you doing out of bed?”
“my bed escaped from me.” you mumble, padding across the wooden floor until you reach him. he watches in bewilderment as you fall to your knees and pull his arms out of your way. muscular body pliant underneath your dainty touches, he allows you to move him as you like.
“ahhh-” he produces a noise of enlightenment as you find a comfortable position between his legs, lying down across his lap. he’s forced to support the weight of your torso with his arm beneath your upper back, hand curled around your shoulder. “am i the bed?”
“mhmm, boo! i caught you. you’re stuck with me forever.” you go limp in his arms and dramatically press the back of your hand on your forehead like a damsel in distress, which elicits a chuckle from your boyfriend.
he bends down to pepper kisses along your jaw and exposed neck, plush lips brushing against the traces of love bites that blossomed on your skin this afternoon, courtesy of his friskiness. having always been extra sensitive there, the ticklish sensation makes you squirm. “that’s exactly what i signed up for.”
“oh?” you raise an eyebrow challengingly. “sure. let’s see if you can still say the same thing… three months from now.”
your fingers comb through his silky locks, taking a fistful and lightly yanking to pull him off you.
“as you were.”
a grunt tumbles out of his mouth when you change positions carelessly. in the end, you settle with straddling him, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck, where you nuzzle your face and almost purr like a kitten due to the warmth that you’ve missed in his absence.
the process of transforming an apartment to a home together has been… exhausting, to say the least. you’ve had most of the furniture installed before you started bringing in your personal belongings, but how can a space feel so empty and so crowded at the same time? too many boxes, too many bags, too many things left to buy. the line between what’s yours and what’s his is blurring in your eyes, and this is only the beginning.
you thought dealing with jungkook’s self-admitted laziness would frustrate you at some point, well… which it did. however, it turns out that it is precisely what you need in this type of situation. yesterday morning, he successfully seduced you into letting him eat you out on the kitchen island. you reached the height of your pleasure twice in a row, nearly delirious as he was lost in untamed lust and moaned about how you taste, distracting you from planning out what goes in which kitchen cabinet based on dimensions and convenience. last night, he had to drag you back to bed at 5am because you ended up organizing your bookshelf for two hours instead of only getting a refill of water like you claimed.
“what are you even looking for?!” jungkook exclaims with a hand over his naked waist, clad only in his boxers, as he watches you rummage through four boxes in search for something.
“the easel!” you whimper, your calves breaking your fall as you slump back on the floor in despair.
“easel?” he squats down infront of a box beside you, scratching his cheek as his puffy and sleepy eyes scan the other boxes. “i don’t think an easel would’ve fit in here, baby.”
“it’s a mini one. the one i use to display my favorite book.” you pout to point at it standing in the second level of the shelf. he recognizes it as the limited edition book he bought you last year, and the flashbacks of him standing in line for hours to get it signed by the author are inescapable.
if hearing you say that it’s your favorite makes jungkook so ecstatic that he wants to break down into tears, he doesn’t show it. instead, he nonchalantly throws you over his shoulder, making a beeline to the bedroom. he yelps when you angrily pound at his back with balled fists.
“ugh, i hate you! put me down!”
he clicks his tongue. “bad!” he lightheartedly chides you, smacking your ass. “i’m cuffing you to myself! do you have any idea what time it is? you have class in three hours!”
“but, babe, i don’t want to attend!” you cry out, slumping as you grudgingly yield. “why do you have to be so strong?! stop lifting weights for fuck’s sake!”
at the time, you meant it when you said that you want to take the moving duties slowly since you have all the time in the world but… you can’t stand the clutter and disorganization for the life of you. at the same time, it pumps your veins with thrill, having an empty space and being responsible to breathe life into it with jungkook. out of all the life-altering decisions you had to make with your still developing brain, this is the biggest gamble yet.
you don’t know if you’re blinded by love, putting your trust in jungkook when he said that he wanted to build a life with you; or if it’s arrogance, having the trust in your ability to stand on your own feet again incase a match is thrown in a puddle of fuel on the floor. the latter is more painful to think about, quite frankly. just because you can, doesn’t mean that you want to. you have to. you have to. with bruised knees from praying for a little more time, you have to. the earth doesn’t stop orbiting the sun when your house burns down.
either way, it’s too late to succumb to your inner monologue. the stuffed toys you own, including ones you’ve dearly loved since childhood, are scattered across the living room. the journal you’ve been sadly neglecting for the past two weeks is just freely lying on your personal study space. you’re here, safe in his arms, and if there’s one thing you’ll always believe in, it’s this. and you intend to make the most out of each day the universe allows you the right to be here.
“you can fall asleep like this? while i keep moving?” he whispers, wide palm soothingly running up and down the expanse of your back.
only if it’s you, you say in the back of your mind. “you can see for yourself.”
“psh. always gotta keep me on my toes, don’t you?” he smooches your cheek, and then once more, lingering and refusing to part away. you feel his lips curling up against your skin.
jungkook reaches for the tumbler you left behind on the floor, capturing the straw between his lips and plentily sipping until he deems his thirst quenched. he sets it aside afterwards, returning his attention to the laundry basket he purposely laid on the floor so he can easily reach inside. he’s been happily working hard on the laundry after you both agreed to wash the clothes you haven’t worn in quite some time to keep your closet clean and fresh.
a little hiccup though.
quickly and unsurprisingly, you ran out of hangers between his long-sleeves and yours alone. therefore, he’s solely focusing on the to-be-folded for tonight, which mostly consists of shorts, casual pants, underwear, and socks.
he inserts his arm in the laundry basket to push out the articles of clothing closer to the edge, grabbing the nearest thing and proceeding to neatly fold it over his outstretched legs. his white sweatpants lands on top of its designated pile, and then the same goes for your tennis skirt, as well as his ripped jeans, and everything else after that.
jungkook being jungkook, singing comes naturally to him after breathing and more than blinking. he hums, chest vibrating against yours as he does so, occasionally singing the lyrics in between because he means them. a tattooed arm protectively wraps around you to keep you glued to his body each time he leans forward. his careful movements, along with his mellifluous voice, fool your senses into believing that you’re being carried out by the ocean waves to the shore of dreamland.
your boyfriend freezes when one of your arm slides down his shoulder, an irrefutable evidence that you’ve fallen asleep again. you finally tired yourself out, he breathes out a sigh of relief. he cups the back of your head as support, eyes shaping into crescent moons as he giggles as quietly as he can after seeing your face.
“so fucking cute.” he muses, rewarding your cheek with another kiss before securely tucking you back into his embrace.
he carries on with his task to allow you to dive further into unconsciousness. he spends the next fifteen minutes folding the boxers that were still stuck inside one of his suitcases, patiently operating with only an arm. his tattooed one is still preoccupied with maintaining a protective embrace around you. shortly after, he decides that it’s time for you to go back to bed.
“there we go.” he says quietly to himself as he succeeds to stand on his feet, carrying you with his hands hooked around your bare thighs. you unconsciously tighten your hold around his neck and release a deep sigh of contentment in your sleep.
he kicks the door open, walking with light, deliberate steps across the wooden floor. he climbs on the bed, knees sinking in the mattress as he gently lays you down. and there’s an inexplicable emotion stirring in his chest as he covers you with the blanket, accompanied by the epiphany that he is doing this at 2am not because time has arrived to daunt him and he needs to leave your bed to go home. not anymore. whatever this is, it feels so fucking good. oh my god, he looks forward to spending the rest of his life feeling you breathe next to him, getting lost in how peaceful you look asleep when he randomly wakes up in the middle of the night.
he tenderly squeezes your arms as he leans down to plant a goodnight kiss on your velvet lips, sweet and loving. slowly, and with the smallest movements possible, he gets out of the bed to return to the closet.
“love, you’re not sleeping yet?” your tiny voice barely reaches his ears but it pinches his heart, even more painfully when he sees that your hand only managed to seize three of his longest fingers to stop him from walking away.
he sits down beside you, intertwining his fingers with yours. “i will in a bit, baby. i only have the rest of my underwear left to put away.”
you blink at him hazily, silent as you digest his words in your clouded mind. “you’re folding them, too?”
“of course.”
and with that confirmation, you eagerly inch closer to him. “teach me.”
“huh?” his forehead creases, eyebrows knitting in a state of confusion.
“teach me.” you repeat yourself, bordering on a whine.
“how to fold my underwear?”
you innocently nod your head as a reply.
“why?” he asks, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth because of your unusual request. but then again, he can’t say he’s much that surprised. it’s such a you thing to do.
“i can’t?” your lips form an adorably small pout, and you sniffle as your eyes water with unshed tears of drowsiness. “but you’re my boyfriend.”
fuck fuck fuck, he curses inside his head. his heart flips and drops to his stomach. holy shit, yes he is. it’s infuriating, how it requires you little to no effort to have him wrapped around your finger. the endearing sight automatically tugs at his heartstrings, urging him to cradle your soft cheeks in between his large palms.
“i’m just curious.” he reassures you with a chuckle, leaning down to press one more sweet kiss to your lips.
“we do chores together…” you trail off, nose scrunching when his brushes yours. you smile sheepishly. you’re relishing in the mere inches between you — how you can see that his pupils are evidently dilated, his brown doe eyes appearing rounder and bigger than they already are. “so i just want to learn how to do it right.”
you swiftly throw aside the blanket enveloping you when he voices out his permission with an “it’s so easy!”, cheerfully jumping off the bed. captivated by your unique charm, jungkook allows himself to be dragged away as a breathing, walking picture of pure adoration.
—
he finds himself sitting on the same spot on the floor, back comfortably resting on the cabinets now that you’re beside him instead of on him. your drooping eyes follow the every movement of his dexterous hands as he folds a calvin klein trunk on his lap, black with a white waistband. wearing an orange beanie of his you found stuck underneath the laundry basket, you obediently bounce your head as he earnestly demonstrates it with instructions.
“so you take this side and fold it over to the middle, and then! you do the same with the other one, so they’re folded equally like this.” he briefly picks it up to show it to you from rim of the waistband, the two parts stacked and perfectly aligned. “after that, you take the bottom and roll it over like… halfway? whatever, i just kind of do it by feel- and the final step… so you also fold the waistband here so you can tuck the rolled up part inside. it ends up looking this neat and compact, see?”
your gaze only flickers at the finished product, having seen what it looks like about a thousand times in his backpacks and luggages. “so these are called trunks… and those are called boxers?”
your boyfriend follows the direction your index finger is pointing at, revealing a pile of folded boxers sitting inside of his opened suitcase. he winces with his full set of teeth before he cracks up in laughter, the genuine curiosity you radiate is making his brain overflow with love and happy chemicals.
“right! those are more comfortable and breathable so i wear them at home, while trunks provide more support for when i need it, you know?”
“snug fit or loose fit this, boxers or boxer briefs that. you strip them off all the time to put your dick in me anyway.” you scoff, picking up another calvin klein creation from the laundry basket immediately afterwards. a string of ditzy giggles slip past your lips. the light blue trunk was standing out among the neutral colors like a firefly in the forest, practically begging to be chosen as your first piece of work. “i’ll do this one! you wore it yesterday. i love the color.”
his lips part open in surprise at your lewd and unfiltered response, a hand flying to his face to conceal the rosy shade that has begun to tint his flushed honey skin, many earrings collectively swinging and belly aching as he chortles. it’s embarrassing, really, how he still blushes despite having done countless sinful things with you. can you really blame him for being incapable of keeping his hands to himself when he’s so helplessly and hopelessly attracted to you?
he clears his throat, crossing his legs and moving to his side so he’s facing you. “go on then.”
you flap it against the air to straighten out the fabric, placing it over your thighs and meticulously following your boyfriend’s instructions step-by-step. you’re quiet as you commit yourself to the chore, floating in your little bubble of tranquility and concentration.
and jungkook is intently watching you with as much self-control he can muster. the urge to grab your face and kiss you senselessly is palpable, wrapping itself around his limbs like vines that have a life of their own, desperate to dip into the sun for a taste. they say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and he can attest to that to a certain degree… but dear god, its lack thereof?
there’s no sensible reason why the both of you should be spending your late nights in your new apartment doing stuff like this when you have an entire 55-inch television set up on the floor because you haven’t found the time and energy to attach it to the bedroom wall yet… and not to mention that jungkook had to write more batteries all types of batteries, tongs, and curtains as CURTAINS!!! in your little notebook of to-buy checklists because somehow, they never crossed either of your minds the last two times you went shopping for your remaining home essentials. his new gaming chair arrived this afternoon and he has zero clue where he will insert assembly time into his busy schedule. one of these days, you’re also bound to discover the plant namjoon left as a gift three days ago. he placed it at the balcony, and it’s only surviving due to the fact that it’s been a relatively rainy month.
although, that’s precisely what makes this moment so priceless and so grounding. you smoothly finish the challenge and sing “ta-da!” with a beam that causes your eyes to twinkle with a tiny sense of achievement despite your apparent exhaustion.
“oh?! looks perfect. good job, baby. goob job.” he praises you with a grin, affectionately stroking your hair. “let’s work together so we can go to sleep.”
his thoughtful words and action make you keen, coaxing the giddiness in you to bubble over. you playfully nudge his side as you haul the laundry basket closer. “i want to play. let’s see who can fold the most in a minute!”
“play?” his shoulders deflate as he sighs, battery running low.
“no?” your lips pucker up in dismay. “too tired, love?”
his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he gives it some consideration. he shrugs. “what’s in it for me?”
oh, damn it.
“the winner also automatically wins the light fixture debate?” in which you’re referring to your month-long dispute over which color of the cloud light you should purchase for your shared bedroom. he insists on the white cloud that has the white light because it looks like a thundercloud, and on the other hand, you’re fighting for the pink cloud with the yellow light because it looks like the sunrise or the sunset depending on its saturation and brightness.
“alright!” he blurts out, a surge of energy kickstarting his system. he snatches his phone, which he left in one of the empty shelves near him. “baby wants to play a dangerous game, huh? the stakes are incredibly high! too high! are you ready? to lose?”
your mood sours when he begins using his variety show hosting voice, confidence dwindling but determination fueled and burning brighter now that he’s in higher spirits.
you roll your eyes. “yeah, sure. ready to lose the white variation in my cart, bro.”
he smirks mischievously, his childish and devilish laughter echoing in the closet. “we’ll start the timer! in three…! one- go!”
“freeze, you cheater! i wasn’t ready! put that shit down!”
—
note: soooo, are you team oc or team jungkook? i will be keeping score 👩💻
taglist in the reblogs! send an ask/dm to be added or removed :D
—
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@forgottenluck ;; BETA EDITOR TRANSFER ( X ) :
If there was a human trait that Connor had perfected, it was PATIENCE. Though, one could argue that it was a necessary ally as an investigator, whether blood or Thirium 310 that ran through one's body. There is no benefit in PUSHING--- not when Koun is slowly, surely, beginning to calm and show trust. If the department wanted their answers, they would know to let the prototype turned IDEAL model lead this questioning as he saw fit.
As he feels Koun's hand slowly slip within his own, Connor BRACES himself. These . . . memory taps were, likely, the HARDEST part of any investigation. They could be jarring, confusing. Connor oft witnessed things that would BREAK the mental fortitude of most humans, and even he was beginning to believe he was starting to walk away from these exchanges a bit less SURE OF HIMSELF than prior. Who else, though, but him ? If it helped -- truly -- then he would stop at no lengths to do what needed to be done.
It starts off pleasant, homely. Koun's frustrations and instabilities still blare like a red light in his peripheral, warning him that there's a REASON such a monumental event should be treated with heightened delicacy. Connor logs details as he spectates, notating even the most miniscule of things, from the colors of the wall, to the fabric of the victim's blouse. A normal, domestic exchange, their relationship immediately deemed extremely close and WARM. Where, then, had it gone wrong ?
--- and then, it shifts.
Much like the TENSION in this mish-mash of memories, Connor's LED blinks to reflect the shift. Blue . . . yellow. He can feel it ( SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT ), can sense Koun's nerves dialed up to near EXTREME levels at the voice that was not his own, INTERACTING with someone near and dear to him. Someone near, dear, and VULNERABLE. It all transpires so quickly that even the state of the art RK800 model struggles to pinpoint every movement, a mental note made to go BACK through this log to timestamp everything of importance to the furthest extent possible.
He needn't any time, at all, to piece together that this woman had had no chance of survival, with an impact that severe. Seeing her lifeless body slumped against the wall sends a CHILL through his body, much like the moment he realized, in his time at Hank's side, that not only was HE afraid to die, but he was WORRIED for the life of those around him that he had come to care for.
At least he could say he still HAD Hank, for however long the Lieutenant's body saw fit to keep him at Connor's side. Koun, unfortunately, had lost his happiness.
The sudden DISCONNECTION has Connor blanking out, briefly, a diagnostics test ran to ensure the abrupt severing didn't cause notable HARM to his systems, before he scans the perimeter for Koun. He can hear the other law enforcement officers shuffling about just outside, ready to leap in should Connor call for it, but how would these HUMAN counterparts of theirs ever come to ADAPT to this newfound coexistence if these situations were always handled so aggressively ? Koun needed a delicate touch. An understanding approach. Had he grieved ? Been able to fully PROCESS this grave, detrimental loss ? And what STEPS needed to be taken to open a pathway to self forgiveness, and hopefully, a second chance at a normal, HAPPY life ?
" Koun . . . " Connor, slowly, rises from his chair, palms raised to prove there was no weapon, no threat. One step forward, a pause, and then one more, his eyes never leaving Koun's traumatized form. " It makes sense to me now . . . I saw what happened. It was not you who killed her. It . . . was not you who is at fault. I'm sorry it had to come to that . . . but it was necessary to understand. " But to lift one's guilt with mere words is not ENOUGH.
" Can you hear me ? It's me, Connor. Are you still with me, Koun ? " He doesn't want to approach too quickly, sensing a wrong step, or word, could put both himself AND Koun in danger. Androids, still, were as fragile as HUMANS, in that regard, no matter how tough the materials were that lined their parts. Another step, two more, three . . . he stops just within reach of Koun, and slowly reaches for his hands, hoping an understanding TOUCH may restore some level of calm.
" It's okay . . . with this, I can close out your case. You won't need to be pursued or hassled or forced to relive this anymore . . . I promise. It's okay . . . " Doubly, they could pursue the one who HAD -- ( WR600 . . . he'd gotten THAT much, and would surely find more later on, when the opportunity arose to sift through everything else. )
#forgottenluck#[ i thought it was high time to respond to this. seems all i needed to do was bring him up#and he decided to cooperate. :D ]#muse ;; CONNOR ( THREADS )#muse ;; CONNOR ( VERSE . DEVIANT )#long post#tw trauma#tw death#tw mental breakdown
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Paper butterflies
paring: moon boys x fem! reader; established relationship
summary: instances when moon boys found safety and love in your hands.
Who holds the reins of my desires if not my hands? My hands—my body’s gates of tenderness, the tools of my wonders, be they violent or gentle, be they both.
Natalie Diaz, from The Hand Has Twenty-Seven Bones—: These Hands If Not Gods
a/n: inspired by this lovely art piece.
genre: mostly domestic fluff
warnings: mention of nightmare, verbal harassment, swearing, slight violence
--------
• You place your hand on table corner, cupping the sharp edge so Steven doesn't accidentally hit his head when he bent down to pick up the spoon he dropped, the little gesture didn't go unnoticed by Steven.
To you, it was an instinct, most natural thing. Steven was baffled. No one loved him like you—you loved him intentionally and subconsciously, like every beat of your heart.
"You want some?" you stretch out your hand, holding out a small bowl of strawberries in front of him.
"Love?"
You hum in response, already chewing a piece of strawberry, juice dripping slightly down your lips.
He outstretches his hand, touching your cheek gently. He leans closer, pressing his lips on yours, his tongue swirling around the strawberry juice.
"Oh". No matter how many times Steven had kissed you before, his kisses still left you feeling giddy.
"Thank you, Y/n/n"
"Whatever for?"
For everything you are and everything you do.
"Nothing" he shakes his head. A mellow smile adores his handsome face.
• "Let me see"
Marc volunteered to chop the vegetables while you cooked, accidentally knicking his thumb finger.
"It's nothing, I'm alright, babe" he brushes you off and watches your eyebrows meet together in worry.
You ignore his words, giving him a 'what' look when his lips curved up in a smile. It doesn't matter if your boyfriends are the moon knight system, when they get remotely hurt in front of you, you panic.
"You've seen me get bloody many times before" he takes your fumbling fingers in his.
"I don't care if you are moon knight and have magical healing powers, you are my still my baby and I'm allowed to worry about you even if you dress up in your fancy suit with that silly cape and fight" you move past him to grab a band-aid from the first aid kit.
"The cape is not silly!"
Khonshu hit his staff on the floor.
Marc chuckles. "Hey, don't hate the cape", his thumb circles the top of your hand absent mindedly, "I saved you with that cape twice" he says, the smile never leaving his face once.
"How dare you talk about my powers like this? you little worm!" his voice booms.
"Khonshu is not happy to hear that" Marc chuckles again.
"Where is he standing?"
"On your right"
You turn your head to your right and stick your tongue out at Khonshu.
"Odd little mortal"
Now amusement laced Khonshu's voice, his earlier annoyance lessened.
• Khonshu have seen Jake smile once or twice maybe.
But when Jake was around you, that act came to him easily, natural as his skills with guns.
You two decided it was a nice evening was a casual stroll around the park, the fresh air and all. Besides, it would be nice to chill with Jake, you thought.
"Jake" you call out, watching him walk ahead of you.
"What is it, querida?"
"You dropped something"
His eyebrows furrow as he pats his pant pockets to check if he dropped something.
"This" you slip your hand into his hand, intertwining your fingers with his.
He chuckles, "You are so cheesy, cariño"
"Oh, you like it", you smile back, watching the way his eyes crinkle and lights up his whole face. There is so much spark in his deep brown eyes—warm and tenderness.
He brings your interlaced fingers to his lips and presses a kiss on the back of your hand. This little gesture spreads warmth through your entire chest.
If Khonshu had eyeballs he would roll his eyes, Jake thought. But he ignored the God of the moon, continued to hold your hand for the rest of the walk.
• You knew Steven reads a lot. You wanted him to have something pretty for bookmarks. What better way to make it by yourself? After watching many pinterest and youtube videos, you made those cute butterfly bookmarks in different colours with different patterns on them.
"Yes, love?" he says, when you called him to get his attention. His gaze is still glued to his book.
You stride towards him to stand near his desk. "Pick one" you say, holding out your closed fists in front of him. Your grasp was gentle not to crush the butterfly bookmarks you are holding.
A small smile forms on his face, he closes the book and pulls down his glasses, taking it off and placing it next to the book. "This one" he touches your left fist, with that sweet smile still gracing his face.
You slowly open them to reveal a bright orange butterfly bookmark. You eventually open your right hand too revealing a blue one. "Since you are cute, you can have this too"
"Oh, these butterflies are lovely!"
"These are bookmarks, I know how much you like reading, so I wanted you have something cute, I know it's not much-"
He couldn't focus on your words.
You had his whole heart. How is it possible to love someone this much? He felt like his heart is about to leap out of his chest.
The smile on his face widens, "Oh, darling". He gently takes off those bookmarks and places them safely on his desk. He then pulls you on his lap, taking your face between his hands, he presses the softest kiss ever, as if physically giving you his love for you.
• It wasn't new to see your boyfriends have nightmare in the middle of the night. Marc had the most nightmares, Steven would have them too. But it was a bit surprising when you saw Jake screaming in his sleep.
"Hey, hey, Jake, Jake..." you didn't shake him too hard in case if it made him even more alarmed. You prop yourself to sit and switch on the bed side lamp. "Jake, babe, you need to wake up, it's okay..." you touch his chest, trying to shake him.
He screams, his hand clutching the left side of his neck. He jolts up still screaming, his eyes opening.
Even though you don't see his face clearly in the dark, the dim light from the lamp illuminates his face. His eyes are wide with panic, darting around the surrounding.
"Hey, hey, it's just me" you carefully touch his shoulder. "Baby, it's okay, you are safe now, you are safe..." you half whisper, keeping your voice gentle.
The panic in his eyes vanishes slightly when he hears your voice and sees you next to him.
Not saying a word, he wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face in your chest.
Oh, God. What kind of nightmare he just had?
You don't dare to ask. You hold him tightly as he is holding on to you. "I'm here now, you are safe" you repeat it again, rubbing his back in soothing gesture. "It's okay, baby, it was just a bad dream, you are with me here now, you are safe..." you continue to whisper calm things in his ear, until you feel his breath becomes steady and uneven. You press light kisses to his head in between saying those comforting words.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
He replies few seconds later, "no".
You didn't want to push him. You gently run your fingers through his hair. "Want me to punch the monster under the bed?" you joke, in an attempt to ease the situation.
He don't say anything but you could feel him smile against your chest, then a slight chuckle.
That's more than enough for you. "You are safe now, baby" you say it again, like a promise. You kiss his forehead.
You stayed up for a while to make sure he was completely calm and sleeping peacefully as he could be in your arms.
• A jerk at bar decided it would be fun to mess with you despite you making it clear you aren't interested. He cursed you out and moved away. You sent a glare in his direction before walking back to Marc.
"Is everything alright?" he instantly rushes to your side after seeing your annoyed face.
"Don't worry, I'm good" you smile at your man, trying to assure him, "Just a creep"
Anger flashes in his eyes. "Did he bother you? Where is he?" he clenches his jaw.
"Marc, it's okay. I got it handled. We are here to have fun remember?" you rub his arm up and down, calming him down.
He didn't want to ruin the night for you so he put on his best smile and kissed the side of your head. "Let me get our drinks. The usual?. He can be peaceful for you tonight.
"The usual" you smile back at him.
Moments later, you turned your head to hear a slight commotion.
It's that same jerk who verbally harassed you arguing with Marc. He 'accidentally' spilled drinks on Marc and now smiling like a smug bastard.
You roll your eyes in annoyance.
Why was Marc trying to smooth things over when it's not his fault?
You storm towards the jerk, staring right in his face. "Hey asshole, shut the fuck up or I'll make you shut up"
"What did you say, bitch? The fuck you gonna do? Cry? Run to your man?", he laughs mockingly.
"What did you just say to her, you piece of shit?" Marc lost his patience.
Before Marc could get to that jerk, you clenched your fist perfectly and throw a strong punch to his jaw.
"Or that" you shrug, shaking your fingers. You take a glass of drink from nearby table and chug it in one go.
He cradles his jaw, blood spilling from his mouth, his gaze was devoid of mockery, now full of anger and fear.
"Now, apologise to my man" you gripped his collar with a death glare.
My man.
Marc couldn't help but smile.
"Geez! Sorry, man" he admits, defeated.
"That's better" you let go off him.
"So much for fun" Marc smirks.
"I had fun" you smile sweetly. " I know you could take him out, but no one messes with my man and leaves. No one"
"I'm proud of you, baby" he kisses your knuckles. "That was so damn hot" he whispers in your ears, making you chuckle.
"Our girl is a badass"
"Agreed"
You never showed them your tough side before.
All of your boys are absolutely in awe and turned on. Oh, you are definitely going to have fun that night, alright.
#marc spector x reader#marc spector imagine#steven grant x reader#steven grant imagine#jake lockley x reader#jake lockley imagine#marc spector fluff#steven grant fluff#jake lockley fluff#moon knight x reader#moon knight imagine#moon knight fluff#moon knight
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royalty au headcanons
what they would be in a royalty au and the sweet moments shared with them.
feat. albedo, childe, diluc, kaeya, venti
genre : fluff, slight angst in childe's
❀ albedo
albedo is the royally appointed painter of your family. he's in charge of painting all of the portraits of the royal family, which is well deserved. the blond artist's brush strokes and painting techniques make all of his works of art feel so alive, almost as if they could walk out of the canvas they were painted on and live amongst the people.
he prides in his works, always making sure each square inch of each painting absolutely perfect before presenting it to the royal family. even if they were already perfect to begin with. but, as they say, you're your own worst critic.
from since you were both young, he was hired by your family to teach you the basics of the arts as well as how to properly hold a brush.
so, you could say albedo has watched you grow from a grubby child to the elegant and refined person you grew up to be. an honor, really, to watch the stars in your eyes grow brighter and brighter with each passing year.
"ah, you've messed up the brush stroke here," albedo's gentle voice points out the mistake in your technique. your ears burn from having your mistakes pointed out, but you know it's for the best. you clear your throat and try to fix it, only to have albedo sigh from beside you.
"like this, your highness." before you can even react, you feel the heat from albedo's chest radiating against your back and your hand is encased in his own. he guides your hand with his, making the brush you're holding glide smoothly across the canvas.
his hand is cold, you think to yourself, and you wonder if he's been maintaining his health properly. but in contrast to his hand, his breath is warm against your ear as he talks you through the painting technique.
it's hard to focus when you're feeling overstimulated from the proximity of the blond painter and the rather domestic position you're in; almost as if your entire body is being embraced by the artist you grew up with.
"understand, your highness?" his quiet voice breaks your thoughts. he's close to you... so close. you gulp, praying to the archons above that albedo couldn't feel your hands shaking from this entire exchange.
"i thought you were supposed to call me by my name when we're alone together, albedo," you stutter out shakily. it's then that albedo realizes the position the two of you are in. his teal eyes widen slightly in surprise and his ears begin to burn a light pink. the artist pulls away, muttering a small apology to you.
though, albedo has to admit that having you in his arms, albeit for painting, felt so nice. from the position he was in, albedo could have counted the thousands of stars that your eyes held; and he would do anything to see them again.
❀ childe
ajax became a knight of your kingdom from a young age. he was always bored from the day to day schedule of his familial job; he wanted more and nothing could satiate the need to do something, anything that could give him the exhilaration that he needed.
which being in the knights provided for him. from learning how to properly wield a sword, to sparring with the best knights in your kingdom, to being a master at any and all weapons in your artillery, the ginger haired knight loved every second. he always felt alive when wielding his weapon, always grinning ear to ear when he's sparring for fun.
despite being a terrifying machine of war, ajax would never betray your family, let alone you. he swore an oath to protect everyone in the kingdom when he joined the knights, and that included you. the one who has watched him since he was a clumsy knight in training, fixed up his injuries, and wiped his tears away when he was frustrated with himself.
the call of ajax's name alerts him of your presence along with the quick pads of your shoes against the pavement. said male turns to look at you, smile big and bright on his face. "your highness! fancy seeing you here so late. did you miss me that mu-"
"is it true?" you interrupt him. your furrowed brows and frown etched onto your features contrast against the bright expression on the knight's. ajax's smile falters a bit when you stop in front of him, holding your arm and biting your lip in concern. "is it true that you're going to fight in the war?"
ajax blinks, stunned at your question. but he laughs lowly, not helping you in your concerned state. "of course, why wouldn't i? i made an oath to protect you, your family, and the people. it's my duty to go to the front lines."
his cerulean eyes stare into your own. you take a breath, hesitating on what to say or do next. ajax assumes you're going to scold him for throwing himself into the pits of danger, assumes that you're going to yell at him because when he fights he fights with no care to his own body. he would power on through the fight until he physically wasn't capable anymore.
"would you stay with me if i asked you to?"
your question surprises the ginger knight. out of all things that you could have done or said, he wasn't expecting this.
his finger strokes your cheek, sliding forward until your jaw rests in the palm of his hand. ajax gives you a smile, endearing yet bittersweet. he wants to stay here with you, to see your annoyed expression when he ends up hurting himself again or the huge smile on your face when he does something dumb.
but duty calls. and you know that.
his heart falls when you sigh and pull away from his touch. but it flutters again when he feels something hard press into the palm of his hand, your own covering his.
"then, promise me you won't die out there, ajax. take this lucky charm of mine and stay safe. i'll miss you."
you plant a quick kiss on his freckled cheek and run off before he could see you cry. unfolding his hands, he's greeted with the delicate, red mask you've placed in his hands.
❀ diluc
being the heir to the throne of your own family makes it hard to miss the prince of the neighboring kingdom. prince diluc is a stoic and hard to please person. every time you've seen him in passing at royal balls, he has always had a frown or blank expression on his face.
but, despite what his outer expression and appearance shows, the young prince is a kind and gentle individual. at least to you. in contrast to how stoic he is with others, his warmth is always welcoming and comforting to you. if he's being honest, you're one of the few people, if not the only person, who has witnessed the genuine yet small smile of prince diluc.
when he has the time off, he writes letters to you, often complaining about how useless the knights and how he would rather work alone. but he never fails to indulge you about the little things that have happened since the last time he has spoken to you. how he misses seeing you and that the next time you visit he would take you to a beautiful meadow he passed by on one of his scouts around mondstadt.
you, his only friend who sees the young prince as who he is, and not what the rumors, nor what his title says he is.
"thought i'd see you out here." diluc's ears perk at the familiar cadence of your voice. his eyes that held the warmth of fire flit up to look at you, and his breath is taken away. underneath the gentle glow of the moon, you're practically glowing in front of him. with rich, beautiful silks covering your body and a comforting smile quirking your lips up.
"what are you doing out here? it's cold out here, and the party's inside, [name]," he scolds you. diluc's expression deadpans when you stick your tongue out the corner of your mouth and shrug. when a cold breeze flows through and you physically shiver, the red haired prince sighs and slides off his coat, throwing it over your shoulders.
"i could say the same to you. besides, i saw you out here looking lonely and like a fool, so i thought it would be nice to join you. so you don't look so pathetic." it takes everything in the young prince to not take his jacket back from you and march back inside the palace with the intolerable guests. "i'm kidding! but not about the lonely part. are you alright?"
the playful glint in your eyes disappears in that moment, captivating diluc yet again. he could never outright tell you this, but your eyes are the most beautiful he has ever seen. filled with actual starlight and twinkling with fondness for the awkward prince.
"yeah, just a bit overwhelmed with the guests inside."
you hum in response to him. "well. why don't i keep you company then? from one royal to another. we don't have to say anything, but having someone with you is comforting, right?" ruby eyes widen when you step forward and grab onto his hands, intertwining them. he hopes his cheeks aren't as red as they feel and that you can't see his blush despite the proximity.
"r-right. as long as it's just you, [name]."
maybe the young prince will find the courage to be more forward with you, ask to court you with a bouquet if your favorite flowers and a love letter slipped in between the petals. but for now, he finds solace in your company and your gentle hand laced with his.
❀ kaeya
the origins of how kaeya ended up in your kingdom's calvary is an enigma. no one is quite sure where he had come from, nor had any idea who he trained under considering he was an exceptional equestrian and sword fighting on horseback came so easy to him. every time anyone asked him about his background or history, the blue haired knight would always brush it off and redirect the conversation to something else.
despite having a mysterious background, kaeya still ended up captain of your calvary not too long after he joined your kingdom. though, anyone could have expected it considering he easily outwitted the previous calvary captain in their own sparring sessions.
during his time there, you can't admit that kaeya hasn't caught your eye. he's handsome; his laughter and taunts while sparring with the other knights sends butterflies to your stomach. charismatic and always lightly teasing you whenever you drop by the knight's hall made it difficult to suppress the rhythmic thrum of your heart.
"oh come on, your highness. don't tell me you're getting cold feet now." the smirk on kaeya's face only grows when you send him a glare. he finds it amusing that you're still trying to stand your ground despite your evident fear of the horse in front of you. "i thought you knew how to mount a horse."
the calvary captain snickers when you tell him that you are going to, that you're just not familiar with his horse. his sapphire eye follows your movements and form a crescent when his horse turns her head to look at you.
as you try and muster out an explanation on why you were startled, kaeya takes this time to slide his hands underneath your arms and hoists you up above the horse. your leg slips over the saddle of the pure white mare and you yelp in surprise at the sudden motion.
before you can yell at kaeya for not warning you, the calvary captain climbs onto the saddle behind you. because of the limited space on his horse, the blue haired knight's chest is pressed against your back and his arms encase you so that he could properly hold onto the reins.
"cat got your tongue, your highness? there's no need to be so scared, i won't let you fall. well, unless you're being more unpleasant than usual. don't blame me if you end up on the floor."
laughter surrounds you when you yell at the calvary captain to 'stop messing around.' he can't help it; kaeya loves riling you up and hearing his name slip from your lips regardless of if it's in between fits of giggles or out of anger when he teases you one too many times.
from the position you're in, you aren't able to witness the endearing look that adorns kaeya's visage when you calm down and lean into his touch as soon as his mare starts moving.
❀ venti
there's nothing that suits venti more than being associated with music in some way, shape, or form. he's a well known musician around your kingdom; knowing at least the basics of every instrument known to man and having every song he has ever heard by memory.
rumors around your kingdom flutter around, saying that hearing a song sung by venti himself could cure almost any disease because of how angelic and healing his voice is. of course, it's not true but the young bard likes to play along with it. anything to get free drinks at the local bar, right?
there's no surprise that your family hired the bard to become your piano tutor. but cheeky smiles, poetic songs regarding the beauty of nature, and lyrical poetry of the beauty you hold make it hard for you to not fall for the playful virtuoso.
a delicate melody drifts down the halls of the castle, elegant staccato piano cords resonate in each other's harmony. your fingers deftly glide over the ivory keys, eyes closed and letting your memory guide you through the piece.
beside you, venti plays your counterpart with a gentle smile on his face. a contrast to the beautiful, yet complicated composition that was being performed.
it was his idea to learn this rather tedious piano duet; you thought it was too difficult because of the complicated melodic line and technical harmonies. you recall many nights filled with frustrated tears and crumpled silk from trying to perfect the melody given to you; and venti's gentle voice as he consoled you during those nights and urged you to rest.
before you know it, the piano duet ends with a final statement of the tonic harmony. silence settles into the room as the final chord resonates in the empty concert hall, only to be broken when you shout victoriously.
"your highness, that was a wonderful performance!" venti congratulates you with a proud smile on his lips. the percussive beat in his chest accelerates when you beam at him, the candlelight making your eyes gleam as if they held the entire universe in them.
"it's all thanks to you, venti! oh gosh, i'm so proud of us i could almost kiss you!" the statement leaves your mouth without thinking and leaves the both of you stunned. one, two, three beats of silence and on the fourth you begin to stutter out an apology with a flustered expression on your face.
venti's airy, light laugh fills your ears and echoes against the vast walls of the concert hall. you want to dig yourself in a hole and hide for the rest of your life.
"and what if i take you up on that offer, your highness? or should i call you [name] now? a kiss ending this performance of ours would be way better than a bow, don't you think?"
#albedo headcanons#albedo x reader#childe x reader#childe headcanons#tartaglia x reader#tartaglia headcanons#diluc x reader#diluc headcanons#kaeya x reader#kaeya headcanons#venti x reader#venti headcanons#didi writes#genshin#genshin impact
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Time for Ed's first three weeks of recovery! So many juicy opportunities for angst, fluff, and domestic hurt/comfort here to add spice, life, and flavor to your art!
The first three or four days will probably be the hardest part for Ed. He's going to feel happy, and looking down at his chest will make him smile even under all the dressings, but he's going to be sore and tired and it'll be a struggle to do much more than sit around and sleep. Every day he'll wake up sore and exhausted and be like "ohhhh fuck is this my life now?" It's frustrating but he'll feel a bit better every day!
He will not be able to shower until the drains come out. He'll feel gross and uncomfortable and will be Big Upset about it. Sponge baths and having Stede help him wash his hair in the sink will help.
Ed can expect minimal to moderate pain levels. I usually sat around a 3 out of 10 during that first week. If you want more angst, trying to push himself to do things before he's ready will make him feel way worse. To describe his pain: my chest itself felt like a very deep heavy sunburn, and the pain in the incisions was deep, tight, and burning. The drain sites (which will be two small incisions under the main incisions below his armpits) will probably be very tender.
Ed's daily routine should include a lot of rest. He won't be super hungry during the first few days, and he might have an upset stomach. He'll be cold and might have trouble getting warmed up. He should have painkillers (I only needed the heavy stuff on the first day and have just used Tylenol since then), and his surgeon might send him home with antibiotics too. A few times a day, depending on his surgeon's instructions, Stede will need to help him empty his drains and record their output. It doesn't hurt but it's gross - Ed will Not Like This.
As long as everything's looking good, Ed will be able to get his drains removed after about 4 days to a week, though if the fluid output is still high he might need to keep them in longer. Getting the drains removed varies for each person, but for me, the nurse clipped the stitches holding them in, told me to take a deep breath, and pulled them out as I exhaled slowly. It was uncomfortable and a weird feeling (the drains are WAY bigger than you'd expect - there's this big thick part that goes basically the entire length of the incision), but not necessarily painful. One of my drains had some fluid collecting near my body, so the nurse had to manually strip the tube first, and she warned me that the difference in pressure this caused would cause its removal to sting a bit more. I wouldn't describe it as painful, but some people are more sensitive to the feeling than others!
The first time Ed gets to see his chest will be at this appointment, and it's awesome! He'll be bruised and swollen, but it'll be awesome to look down and just see him.
Ed's incisions will not need dressings at this point, but he'll need to keep compressing his chest to lower the risk of developing a fluid or blood buildup under his skin. He'll be 100% more comfortable when the drains come out and he's not got a bunch of plastic hanging out of his body all the time.
The bolsters over Ed's nipple grafts will be able to come off after about a week. It's easy, they just cut the stitches holding them down, and Ed won't feel a thing. At this point, his surgeon will be able to tell him if his grafts have survived or not. If everything's going well, they'll actaully look a bit gross, especially since Ed's a brown guy and most of the reference pictures he'll have seen will be on white guys. Scabbing, discoloration, loss of pigmentation, and general grossness are all 100% normal, and skin grafts look worse before they look better.
It is beyond normal for Ed to be a bit wigged out by his nipple grafts. Skin grafts look scary as hell and it's a freaky thing to see on your body. He may need Stede to help him care for them, and he may worry about the daily changes he sees.
Daily care for his nipple grafts will need to be added to Ed's routine for a while. He'll need to apply a thin layer of Aquaphor ointment and a small pad of an oil emulsion dressing over each graft to keep them moist and help them heal, and cover everything with a bandage. How long he needs to do this will vary depending on his surgeon's instructions, but probably a few weeks. The most important thing with his nipple grafts will be to leave them alone other than dressing changes and let them do their thing, but after the three-week mark, issues with nipple grafts are very rare.
Ed can shower again! This is a game-changer. He'll need to be gentle and stand with his back facing the water so he doesn't soak the grafts. He might still need help with washing his hair because raising his arms is still difficult.
At this point, Ed's job is to rest, relax, and get gentle activity! He still needs to take it very easy. Around the three-week mark, his pain levels will probably be low, but he'll still be sore when he wakes up and if he pushes himself too far, it'll still really hurt. But he can now do many things (cooking, light cleaning, etc.) with minimal discomfort.
Likely discomforts for Ed at this point: finding comfortable sleeping positions is still super hard. His incisions will still be very tender to the touch. He might have to add an anti-allergy medication to his routine thanks to the constant irritation of having adhesives on his chest to cover the grafts (I found out I have a mild adhesive allergy!). If he pushes himself too far too fast, he might get lucky like me and develop pneumonia or another lung problem from pain making it too hard to take deep breaths. There are many opportunites for drama here as Ed gets frustrated with himself for not being able to go right back to normal.
Ed will need to keep compressing his chest for about 6 weeks, depending on his surgeon's advice. Different surgeons have different recommendations for what to use, but in general he'll have his choice of things like compression vests, Ace wraps, surgical binders, or even his old binder or sports compression shirts. If Ed has any kind of painful history relating to specific binding methods, that can inform his decision.
As he enters his third week of recovery, Ed is doing great! He's feeling better every day, and at this point, he's able to enjoy many of the daily activities he loved before surgery as long as he's being gentle with himself. The next update will be for the 3rd-6th weeks of recovery!
A Guide for Writing Ed's Top Surgery!
I'm getting my top surgery on July 3 (whoo!!!) and I'm using this as an opportunity to gather info for fic purposes. I love writing Ed as a trans man, and I love everyone else who writes and draws him as trans, so I wanted to share the notes I'm taking to help others who want to draw or write Ed's top surgery experiences! I'll update this as we go in sections (pre-op, the surgery itself, and initial recovery).
This is all just my experience with getting a double-incision with free nipple grafts surgery, and it's from a US perspective. Your mileage may vary and this definitely isn't meant as a medical guide. If you're having your own top surgery listen to your surgeon, not me.
Pre-op guide below the cut!
In the months before his surgery:
Getting insurance approval for top surgery in the US, depending on where you live, can be incredibly frustrating, dehumanizing, and painful. Ed will need at least one letter from a therapist or other mental health provider, and he'll probably feel very frustrated about being treated like a child who is unable to make his own medical decisions. I had several insurance denials, needed to switch insurance companies (currently having to settle for one that's more expensive in every other way but will at least approve this surgery), and needed three (fucking 3!!) letters from mental health professionals to get my approval. Hard to overstate how much it sucked and how much it makes you feel like the people writing state and insurance laws see you as a stupid child. Ed will very likely have Lingering Issues about this experience.
Ed will need an initial consultation to confirm he's a good candidate for surgery. Mine was quick and easy!
Once he gets his approval, or once he decides to pay out-of-pocket, he'll get his surgery date! Depending on his clinic, this could be years away or it could be as soon as a couple months out, so anything is realistic for your story. You could lean into the joy of a date that's sooner than he'd expected or he could be frustrated by the whole process grinding to a halt.
His pre-op appointment:
The pre-op appointment is when Ed will meet his surgeon and get the details for his surgery date. Mine was almost two weeks before my surgery. He'll also receive packets of information and his post-op check-up dates. If he smokes, he should be tobacco-free by this date.
This is when Ed and Stede will be able to ask any last-minute questions. Ed can ask here if the surgeon will be willing to give him heart-shaped nipples, but they'll probably say no
This appointment is also when Ed will be struck by the reality of having post-operative drains and not being able to shower for a week. This will be deeply upsetting for him
Ed will probably be very nervous for this appointment (what if something goes wrong and he can't get his surgery?) but he'll be relieved and comforted by the whole experience. The mood in the whole plastic surgery center, for me, was downright fucking jubilant, all the nurses who saw my name on the chart were congratulating me and telling me how happy they were for me! This WILL make Ed cry
The week before his surgery:
It begins to sink in that Ed is about to have major surgery. He's excited, of course, but he'll be a little nervous too! Stede will need to give him lots of cuddles and promise to take good care of him
They'll need to make lots of Ed's favorite comfort foods to freeze so he has something to eat when he can't raise his arms well enough to cook
Ed should practice doing things without lifting his arms above his shoulders. He'll have a great time stomping around and pretending to be a dinosaur
He'll want to prepare a selection of comfy clothes he can wear without raising his arms. Stede's robes will be perfect
The biggest struggle for Ed during his recovery will be the boredom. Stede should help him build up a stock of video games, books, Lego sets, sketchbooks, and model building kits to keep his hands and brain busy!
They should prepare Ed's sickbed. He might be more comfortable sleeping upright on the couch or in an armchair propped up by pillows. He'll have to see how he feels after surgery and what positions are most comfortable, so getting both the couch and their bed ready is a good idea!
At some hospitals, including mine, you won't know what time to arrive at the hospital for your surgery until the day before, when they'll call you to let you know (they do this based on surgery room flow to ensure you arrive at the right time). Ed will find this stressful; Stede will HATE it.
Ed may need to shower with a special antiseptic skin wash the night before and the morning of his surgery. He will not enjoy having to get up at the asscrack of dawn to shower
The night before Ed's surgery, he and Stede should pack bags, just in case. Top surgery is an outpatient procedure, but just in case anything goes wrong and Ed has to stay overnight, it's good to be prepared. A change of comfy clothes, a book, and Ed's Nintendo Switch are good things to pack. Ed will also love taking a stuffed animal to keep him company after Stede can't go any further with him (and he can use the plushie to cushion the seatbelt on the car ride home).
Ed's super excited and everything's set for him! Good luck, Ed! 🥳
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Use My Best Colors For Your Portrait || jjk
➥Pairing: best friend!jungkook/reader, boyfriend!jungkook/reader, artist!jungkook
➥Summary: After surprising Jungkook with his own studio room for his paintings, he couldn’t be any more over the moon. All’s well and good until he’s struggling to find inspiration...which you happily provide him with. He’s ecstatic to find his muse in you, and painting your portrait brings him so much joy. Things take a turn however, when he suddenly realizes what else he wants to paint.
➥Genre: established relationship, tiny bit of angst if you squint, fluff, smut
➥Rating: 18+
➥Words: ~7.9k (small drabbles don’t exist for me apparently, oops)
➥Content warnings: most of this at the beginning is just cute fluff domestic times (finally not much angst!), blonde jungkook, jk ties his hair up at some point (my weakness), jk puts paints on the reader, making out, slight hair pulling, cursing, shower sex times, jungkook has a big dick, oral (m. receiving), very slight mouth fucking, dirty talk, fingering (very brief), unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex), biting, cumming inside, cute times in the shower, jungkook is actually the sweetest, reader and jk are so in love with each other it hurts, also jk saying ‘only for you’ is a thing i started and can’t stop now oops
A/N: hello! This is part of my Only for You (OFY) Drabble series, but it can be read as a stand-alone! Their relationship will make a lot more sense though if you’ve read OFY beforehand. This fic takes place roughly around six months after the events of OFY (so in between that and the dream drabble I also posted).
Once again, thank you to @dntaewithluv for her endless support and always giving me feedback, I forever appreciate you and your friendship is more than I could ever ask for 💜
I’ve written a few other drabbles and will list them below, along with a general timeline:
When I Dream of You - ~1 year after OFY
Stay With Me - a few months after the dream drabble
Also, I hope that if you read this, you enjoy it~
➥OFY Spotify Playlist (songs I listened to for inspo)
➥Series Masterlist
➥All Works Masterlist
taglist: @inlovewiththemoonn
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You would do absolutely anything in the world for Jeon Jungkook.
Seeing him happy had to be at the top of your list of favorite things in the world, as it had been for many years as his best friend, and now in the several months since the two of you started dating. Some things just never changed, you guessed.
Which is why you took it upon yourself to change one of the spare rooms in the house you two were renting into a space where he could thrive as the artist he was. Initially, the two of you thought it would be nice to use that space as a work area for you, since your job required you to sometimes do work from home. And for a little while, that’s exactly what you did.
But ever since you found out Jungkook liked to paint – scratch that, he loved to paint, and had been doing so for longer than you thought – the gears started turning in your head.
The current space he was using to create his art was definitely less than ideal. The house had a decent sized garage area, so there was enough room for him to store his supplies and be able to paint without it being too much of an issue. The downside, though, was it was cramped and even though Jungkook said he didn’t mind it, you still couldn’t help the frown from masking your features whenever you saw him huddled up so close to his easel.
For the last few weeks, and with lots of help from internet searches, you’d been slowly converting your space into something like a studio. You didn’t have to worry about Jungkook finding out, either, since he very rarely went into that room seeing as he had no reason to. He respected your privacy the same as you respected his, so this made everything infinitely easier for you in the long run.
The day had finally arrived where you would show the new space to Jungkook. Everything was set up as perfect as you could manage it – at least you hoped so – and you were dying of excitement to show him as soon as possible.
You were also, however, incredibly nervous at the same time. What if he didn’t like it? Even worse, what if he hated it?
Of course, you knew deep down that there was no way Jungkook could hate anything you ever did, unless it was something horrible, but you worried about everything because that’s just how you were. So, when the two of you were sitting at the dinner table one night, you tried hard to swallow the lump in your throat as you listened to Jungkook talk about his newest work.
“I really think you’re gonna like how this one turns out, angel.” Jungkook was offering you a sweet smile as he went to grab another bite of food from his plate. You managed to smile back, despite the hammering of your heart against your chest. He was basically handing you the perfect opening for you to segue the conversation!
“I know I’ll love it, Koo.” You watched as his small smile turned into a full grin, his nose scrunching up in that adorable way that had you falling in love with him all over again every time you saw it.
“Speaking of your paintings,” you started off, clearing your throat while he swallowed down his food. He looked at you with his undivided attention and it made your heart skip a beat.
Ok let’s be real, every damn thing this man did made your heart skip a beat.
“Yeah? What about them?” He twirled more of the noodles around his fork while he waited on your answer.
You gulped. “Wouldn’t you like it if you had more space?”
Jungkook chuckled and placed his fork down, shaking his head as he placed on hand on top of yours that was still resting by your plate. You’d barely touched your food and he noticed.
“Baby,” he started, “as much as I would love to have a bigger space, what I have now is just fine. I know you think it’s stifling my creativity in there, but I’m still creating things and am comfortable.” He squeezed you hand gently before returning to his food.
“I get that you think the garage is fine but what if I told you that- that you could have a bigger workspace.” You finally picked up your fork and were poking around at your own food now, avoiding his gaze. You could feel his stare boring into you regardless, though.
“I mean – yeah, hypothetically I could have more space, but it’s not in the cards for us right now and that’s ok, too. Maybe one day.”
The way he always was optimistic about your future together made you feel warm all over. Jungkook liked to look on the bright side of every situation, and it’s been enough to help you keep your own wits about yourself numerous times now.
But this time you wanted to show him that the future could be closer than he realized.
“Koo, can you come with me real quick? I have something I want to show you.”
You didn’t miss the confused look that flashed across his face for a second before his calm demeanor took over again.
“Of course.” He hopped up from the table, that smile you adored now plastered on his face. “Lead the way.”
“Ok but I also need you to close your eyes.” You reached out to take his hand and were rewarded with an eyebrow raise.
He hummed thoughtfully but did as you asked, closing his eyes and grasping your hand tighter so you could lead him wherever you planned to.
You walked through the house pulling him behind you, feeling your heartbeat quicken with every step to where its pace was almost concerning. Whether or not it was mostly from excitement or nervousness, you weren’t sure.
You finally reached your destination and let go of his hand so you could open the door.
“Keep your eyes closed, ok,” you asked. Jungkook simply nodded and you saw a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had no idea what you were about to show him, but knowing you and how much he loved pretty much anything you did, he was sure it’d probably make him happy.
And he couldn’t have been more correct in his assumption.
At the quiet sound of you telling him he could open his eyes he did so, slowly at first, blinking to adjust to the light the now flooded over the both of you. It took him several seconds to register exactly what he was seeing, and when he did he couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare around the room, mouth agape.
Decorating the walls were the paintings he had given you, beautiful works of various sizes and themes. Alongside the far wall was a tall shelf that housed all his supplies (how had you managed to get them past him without him noticing?), and even some new things like paints he’d been eyeing for a while and other tools he hadn’t had a chance to get himself yet.
But in the middle of the room stood his easel and chair, set up in the similar fashion as it had been in the garage. His apron was draped across the back of the chair, and there was even tarp laid out underneath the workspace. You research had paid off because everything was set up in such a way that it created the perfect atmosphere for Jungkook’s creativity to shine through in ways it hadn’t been able to before.
You weren’t aware of this yet, however, because you were still watching Jungkook’s reaction. He still hadn’t said anything, and as you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth, you started to wonder if this was the right call-
Strong arms were pulling you up from the ground and spinning you around before you could process it, making you squeal with delight as Jungkook twirled you before bringing you back down to pepper kisses all over you face.
“Angel, I can’t believe this, you did all this for me?” He was still holding onto your hips tightly, beaming as he looked down at you. Your nod and giggle was all the confirmation he needed before he pulled you into another kiss, this one slightly more heated than the ones before.
“Do you like it,” you questioned when the both of you pulled away to breathe. Jungkook laughed before taking your face in his hands and brushing his nose along yours.
“Do I like it? Baby, I love it. It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” Another kiss. “I love it and I love you, I love you so fucking much.”
His happiness made your heart soar and you definitely knew that you’d do something like this an infinite amount of times if it meant he’d keep that smile on his face.
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A few weeks passed by and Jungkook had been using his new studio nearly everyday at this point. His creations had been increasing in numbers and he was starting to receive commissions from others thanks to his small online shop he’d set up with your help. He still worked at the bar as his primary job, but he was also grateful to have a hobby on the side that could potentially yield something lucrative.
Of course, Jungkook’s increase in his time spent on his art still didn’t take away from his time with you. If anything, it gave the both of you another way to spend time together, since now there was enough space for you to sit in and observe him paint when you couldn’t before. You often sat quietly and either did some of your own work or engaged in your own hobbies while he painted, and it was always peaceful.
There came a day, though, that you never thought you’d experience: Jungkook had run out of inspiration. He’d hit his first real artist’s block and it was taking a bigger toll on him than he would’ve liked.
You rubbed his shoulders as he sat in front of his easel one night, groaning in frustration about his current work. “It’s not turning out at all like I want it to. I’ve been struggling with finding new inspiration and it clearly shows in whatever this is.” He vaguely gestured to the canvas, prompting you to place a kiss on his cheek as you ran your hand through his pretty blonde hair. You knew that always helped to calm him down and this case was no exception.
Jungkook sighed heavily, turning to place a kiss on your palm that was still lingering around his face. “Sorry, I don’t mean to get worked up. It just sucks, you know? I’d been on this really good streak of creating things and now I just…can’t. It’s weird and I don’t like it.” He pouted slightly and the sight made you giggle.
“I know, baby, but you’ll figure something out. You always do.” You placed a kiss on top of his head before you walked around to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of his hands cradled your waist to steady you.
He was humming thoughtfully as he looked you up and down, your hands now playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.
“What are you thinking about?”
He smiled slyly. “You.”
You rolled you eyes before returning the smile. “Ok, what about me? I’m curious.”
His hand was rubbing up and down your side. “Nothing in particular, just usually looking at you can help me with inspiration.”
His confession made you gasp. “Really?”
He nodded and smiled wider. “Really. You inspire me a lot.” He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before sighing again. “This time though it’s not really working like I’d hoped.”
You watched his eyes close and his brows furrow before an idea popped into your head. “Hey,” you reached down to tilt his chin up so he’d look at you, “It might be a long shot, but: have you ever considered painting portraits?”
He pursed his lips as he thought about it. The simple act made you want to kiss him but now wasn’t the time.
“Honestly…no. I’ve never thought about it before because I usually prefer to paint scenery.”
You searched his eyes as you asked your next question. “Well, if you want to try, maybe you could paint me? Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, maybe it can help spark a new idea or something?”
You watched as his eyes slowly lit up at your suggestion, his face morphing into a smile that you mirrored.
“That’s a great idea! It’s something new and it also includes you, so I already love it.” You chuckled in his lap as he hugged you closer, placing a small kiss on your neck. “Thank you.”
You ran your hands through his hair again before leaning back. “Anything for you. Do you want to start now?”
He thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, we can do that. Is there, uh – was there something specific you wanted to wear for it?”
You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Are you suggesting you want to paint a nude portrait?”
Even though Jungkook knew your body better than you did at this point, your words still managed to make him blush as he groaned. “No, I wasn’t thinking that- not that I’d mind of course just you know, whatever makes you comfortable-”
You laughed at his flustered nature before hopping off his lap. “You’re so cute. I’ll go find something to change into, it shouldn’t take long.”
“R-right,” he stuttered, still clearly somewhat affected by what you had said. You shook your head with amusement as you went to your bedroom to find something to wear. You settled for a purple dress that you knew Jungkook loved, and considering a lot of his paintings involved shades of purple and blue, you figured it would be perfect.
You knew you made the right choice when you stepped back into the room and saw Jungkook’s face when his eyes fell on you. He looked like he’d never seen someone so beautiful (he looked at you like that a lot and it always did something to you) and your lips curled upwards into a smile before you could realize it.
You stopped in the doorway and twirled, giving him a full view of the dress. “Is this ok?”
You already knew the answer, but it was always nice to hear him say it.
He cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, it’s perfect. You can, uh, you can take a seat whenever you’re ready.”
While you were changing, Jungkook had pulled one of the loveseats from the living room into the space so you’d have somewhere to sit or lay while he painted you. The loveseat was a dark blue color and it contrasted beautifully against the color of your dress. You decided to lay on it in a comfortable pose, and you couldn’t help the small giggle you let out at Jungkook’s reaction to your choice.
You had laid an arm behind your head, turning your face so you were looking at him while the rest of your body was sprawled out on the loveseat. One of your legs dangled over the side, making the skirt of your dress hike up somewhat. You were very comfortable, and Jungkook was very happy with your pose.
“Make it pretty, ok,” you joked with him. He smirked at your comment.
“You know I will. I’ll use my best colors, just for you.”
“Wow, I feel special,” you quipped back. You were rewarded with the sound of his beautiful laughter as it echoed off the walls.
“You’re the most special,” he admitted honestly. You gave him a brilliant smile and he felt his heart stutter.
With the way you were looking at him, Jungkook thought that if he didn’t start painting, he may never start. So, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you so he could find the paints he needed to get started. He tied up his hair, a few of the blonde strands escaped and framed his face but he didn’t seem to mind it too much as he got to work.
Thankfully, since you’d chosen a good position, the process was easier than you thought it would be. You just had to lie there and watch him work, which you happily did. You enjoyed watching his face scrunch up in concentration before relaxing again as he brushed stroke after stroke onto the canvas.
You were so beyond proud of him that it made your heart swell inside your chest.
Jungkook had been painting for a little over half an hour before he announced it was time to take a break. He could paint for hours on end without stopping, but that was when he didn’t have a live subject he was working with. He walked over to you with a bottle of water so you could sip from it without having to disturb your position too much.
You sat up slightly so you could drink, and while you did so, one of your dress straps started falling down your arm. Jungkook immediately went to move it back into place, but as he did, he couldn’t help but stare at the dark contrast of the purple satin against your skin. He thought it was so pretty, and his mind started wandering to how the paint itself might look-
He shook his head to rid himself of the thought. He may have been covered in paint himself, but that didn’t mean he needed to go putting paint on you.
When you were re-situated on the loveseat once more, Jungkook strolled back over to this easel. Unfortunately, since that thought of you covered in paint first took up residence inside his head, he now found it hard to focus on anything else. While he stared at you to try and resume your portrait, he just kept picturing you with painted streaks covering your skin instead.
You must have noticed he was distracted because soon you were calling over to him. “Kook? Is something wrong?”
He gulped and shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong! You’re doing great, baby.”
“Do you need me some other way?”
Such a simple statement and yet it was stirring something inside of him. Asking him if he needed you a certain way ignited that desire to once again paint you and he found himself unable to hold back from asking anymore.
“Yeah, I uh, I wanted to try something.” You were confused when he got up and started walking toward you, only carrying his paint supplies. At first you thought maybe he just wanted to get closer, but he didn’t bring the easel with him.
“What are you wanting to try,” your voice was laced with curiosity. He gave you a shy smile.
“I was just thinking about how pretty it would be,” he looked down at the floor then back up at your face before he continued, “if I used you as a canvas instead.”
You felt your breath hitch in your throat at the request. Jungkook was asking to paint you, not paint you on a portrait, but to paint you. The suggestion intrigued you a lot more than you thought it would, which is ultimately what led to you nodding your agreement. “I think I’d like to try that, too.”
Jungkook’s face broke into such a dazzling smile that excited you to no end. You watched as he pulled his chair close to you, as well as some tarp to place around the area. When he was situated where he wanted to be, he dipped his brush into some of the purple paint on his palette and gently lifted your arm. The feeling of the paint as it brushed along your arm was foreign but not unwelcome. There was something about it that was almost calming.
You were now also recalling all the times you’d told Jungkook how pretty he looked even covered in paint. The pretty colors contrasting with his beautiful, golden skin tone never failed to take your breath away no matter how many times you saw it. You wondered briefly if this is what he was experiencing now as he took his time painting your skin.
He was focusing on your with such intensity and taking great care to only get the paint where he wanted it, so as to not stain certain parts of you or your dress. The sight of his caution made that familiar warmth bloom in your chest again.
He took his time painting beautiful designs along your arm before moving down to paint on your thighs and legs. He was alternating between purple and blue hues now, and the swirling patterns reminded you a lot of his tattoos that you adored. You had spent many nights lying next to him in bed, tracing the lines of his tattoos until you were too sleepy to keep it up. Seeing the patterns against your own skin briefly made you think about if you would ever want to get a tattoo. Before you put too much thought into it, your attention was pulled back to Jungkook who was sitting up now and admiring his work.
The time had passed by much quicker than you anticipated, and it was starting to get dark outside as the light was no longer filtering in through the windows of the room.
He seemed satisfied as he nodded and smiled. “Wait here, I’ll be right back. Stay just like this,” he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. When he returned, he had his coveted polaroid camera in his hands. Jungkook was also big into photography, and every one of his hobbies suited him perfectly in some way.
“Is it ok if I take a photo of you, baby?”
You grinned and nodded, being careful not to move too much from your current position. He snapped the photo and the polaroid was printing immediately after. When he pulled it from the camera, he laid it down on the table next to his easel so it could develop properly.
Jungkook wiped his hands off on his apron before taking it off and drawing his attention back to you. He could stare at you like this all day, but he knew it would probably be best to get you both cleaned up and paint-free.
He offered a hand for you so he could help pull you off the loveseat. When you were up fully, he wrapped his arms around you, careful to not get any of his exposed, paint-covered skin on your dress.
“You look so beautiful like this,” he murmured softly, brushing some of your hair out of your face as his eyes scanned up and down your body to admire his creation. “And as much as I love seeing it, we should probably get this paint off soon. When it dries too much, it can be a bitch to scrub off, and I don’t want that for you.”
You chuckled at that and simply nodded your head. You’d been lying there for nearly 2 hours at this point, so you were pretty tired and ready to just relax for the night.
The two of you hopped into the shower shortly after, helping each other rid your bodies of the remnants of paint covering you both. You always loved taking showers with Jungkook, because whether or not it was a short, regular shower, or one shared after a night of intimacy, these moments were some that you cherished the most and wouldn’t change for the world.
You got lost in the feeling of Jungkook scrubbing shampoo into your hair, letting out soft noises as your eyes slipped closed.
Your noises always threatened to drive Jungkook crazy, and this time was no exception. He couldn’t deny the stirring of his cock as he listened to the little moans slipping from your mouth at such a simple action.
Of course, since he was so close to you, there was no way you didn’t feel him. His cock was hardening against your thigh, and the fact that you were turning him on by not doing much turned you on.
You could feel the wetness start to slip past your folds, but you decided to not make any moves yet, wondering how far you could take this before either of you snapped. You knew that teasing him was one of the quickest ways to get Jungkook riled up.
“Feels so good, Koo,” you shamelessly moaned out as he kept massaging the shampoo into your hair. You heard him let out a small grunt at your deliberate words, feeling him twitch against your thigh as he got harder.
You leaned your head back to give him a better view of your neck, since you knew he loved to mark you up there. His hands were starting to tangle in your hair, but he took care to not pull too hard as he brought his attention back to the task(s) at hand.
He was currently focusing on two things: 1) getting the rest of the shampoo out of your hair, and 2) not fucking you up against the shower wall. Doing the first thing was currently keeping him from acting on the second, but you certainly weren’t helping with that.
Your head lolled around on your neck, your eyes still closed as your sounds got louder. He knew you were messing with him now, so as retaliation he pulled on your hair a little tighter, making you gasp.
“You’re doing this on purpose, angel,” you could hear the dark tone of his voice over the waterfall in the shower clearly, and it just made you more aroused. You chanced opening your eyes to look at him, and the sight you were met with made you moan louder, this time without trying.
Jungkook was staring at you, mouth slightly parted as he let out pants of his own, his blonde, soaked tresses falling in his face and covering his eyes. His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he tugged on your hair again, making you reach out to place your hands on his chest.
“You’re teasing me to get me worked up, hm?” All you could do was nod, his husky voice and the feeling of his hand wrapped in your hair making you wetter by the second. There was no use in playing coy any longer. You wanted him, and he wanted you.
The question now was: who would make the first move?
You realized that you wanted to be the one to make the first move, so you did.
“So, what if I am,” you asked sweetly, wrapping your hand around his length and pumping him slowly. His eyes closed and he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, fingers now digging into your waist.
“You know what happens when you do that,” Jungkook warned. You absolutely knew what happened, and you definitely wanted it to happen.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe you should enlighten me.” You teased him as you gently nibbled on his earlobe, increasing your pace as you continued to stroke him. You heard him let out a soft moan against your shoulder as he placed a kiss there.
With no more hesitation, you turned him slightly and sank down to your knees in front of him, delighted by how his cock jerked in your hold when you steadied it with your hand.
Jungkook stared at you wide-eyed as you started moving your hand around his shaft before placing a gentle kiss on his tip, the prettiest groan falling from his lips. “Fuck, Y/N, are you sure you want to do this?”
You peeked up at him as you fluttered your eyelashes, knowing that seeing you like this always aroused him beyond belief. You continued moving your hand in slow, languid strokes, and he was almost fully hard now.
He let his head hit the wall behind him, soft curses and praises for you tumbling from his mouth.
Seeing him like this had to be near the top of the list of your favorite sights to ever witness. And right then is when you figured it’d be the perfect time to surprise him. Without a warning you opened your mouth and took all of him in that you could reach.
Jungkook’s reaction was immediate.
“Hey wait what are y- oh my God, fuck.” His loud moan echoed off the walls of the room, causing a fresh wave of arousal to pool between your thighs. You sucked harder as you hollowed out your cheeks, ignoring the way your throat constricted around him.
“Y/N, shit, you feel so good, your mouth- fuck, angel, I don’t want to hurt you,” Jungkook was panting hard above you, eyes shut and brows furrowed, jaw slack as he unabashedly continued to moan at your actions. He was reaching behind him to try and hold something, but the smooth wall had nothing to offer him. His fingers were slipping against the tile, so he gave up and instead settled for clenching and unclenching his fists.
You pulled off him with a pop, a string of saliva left in your wake. You smiled up at him as you kept stroking him, not wanting his pleasure to disappear in the slightest.
“You won’t hurt me, Koo,” you reassured him, earning another groan from the man falling apart under your touch. He twitched in your hold, and you stuck your tongue out again to run it along the underside of his length.
Jungkook chanced looking down at you, only to look up at the ceiling a moment later while he muttered a strained “holy shit.”
“C’mon baby, don’t you want to look at me,” you taunted him as your tongue played with the head of his cock, swirling around him. The low groans coming from above you let you know that he enjoyed that a lot.
“Fuck, angel, I-” Jungkook’s sentence died as a moan ripped itself from his throat when you surged back down to take all of him in again. This time you continued moving, feeling the tears in the corners of your eyes but not stopping.
It wasn’t like you’d never sucked him off like this before, seeing as it was one of your favorite activities, after all. But it was a rare occasion where Jungkook would let you take all of him in one go for fear of hurting you. So, you took these chances whenever they presented themselves, and the reward was always, always worth it.
Tears along with the water droplets from the shower were coating your face but you didn’t care. All of your focus was on Jungkook and how he was trying so hard to restrain himself above you. You watched his fists clench and unclench and you could feel himself struggle to keep his hips from moving forward so he didn’t fuck your mouth.
Yeah, you weren’t having that. You wanted him to let go, wanted him to know that it was ok, that you wanted this. You reached out to grab one of his hands and placed it in your hair, relishing in the way his fingers immediately tangled themselves into the wet strands. You pulled your mouth off of him again, but not before letting your tongue drag slowly across every inch of him.
You looked up at him again as you pumped him leisurely, waiting until he brought his gaze down to stare at you, only for him to quickly close his eyes again.
“God, I can’t look at you, like I want to, fuck do I want to, but you look so fucking good like this, I’m not gonna last-”
You always found his stammering to be cute and you didn’t want to torture him too much longer. Deciding that you’d teased him enough, you took all of him into your mouth again, intertwining your fingers with his unoccupied hand and giving it a squeeze. The intimacy of this particular action was always enough to get both of you going, and it had Jungkook’s hips stuttering as you sucked hard.
“Fuck, baby, always take me so good like this. Always so good for me, I love you, fuck,” he was groaning as his head hit the wall behind him again, his hold in your hair tightening the same moment you felt him buck his hips like you’d been wanting all this time.
Unfortunately, for you, whenever Jungkook would fuck your mouth, no matter how much you wanted to sit there and take it without issue, his size always proved to be too big for you to handle and it had you coughing around his length in no time. Which, of course, always made Jungkook stop what he was doing before either of you had the chance to enjoy it much.
“Fuck, baby, I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Jungkook pulled you up while you kept coughing, brushing the wet strands of hair out of your face and looking at you with worry. You nodded and tried to reassure him, wanting to get back on your knees for him, but he held you in place.
“You don’t want me to continue,” you asked, your voice a little more hoarse than usual thanks to what your throat had just endured.
Jungkook shook his head. “No, angel, it’s not that. If you do keep going, I’ll cum in no time.” He brushed some of the water away from under your eyes, not knowing if it was tears or from the shower. He bent down to place a rough kiss on your lips, such a contrast from how his hands caressed your face.
“I want to be inside of you when that happens,” he murmured against you, gently biting down on your bottom lip and pulling a whine from you, in turn causing more wetness to gush between your legs. “If you’ll let me, of course.”
You almost laughed. “Koo, you know I’ll let you do anything at this point.”
He chuckled. “That’s a dangerous admission, baby. You sure about that?”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Of course I’m sure. I’d let you do anything you want because I trust you. Because I love you,” it was your turn to kiss him this time, and it was filled with so much passion it nearly made him dizzy. Jungkook could never get tired of the feeling of your lips against his, of hearing you say that you loved him, of feeling your skin pressed against each other during times like these.
Jungkook was hooked on you and he never wanted to go back to a time where he wasn’t.
You pulled him out of his thoughts as you tugged on some of his hair, earning a delicious sounding grunt from him. You whispered your next snarky comment right by his ear.
“You gonna fuck me now, baby?”
Your bluntness had his cock quickly stirring back to life after it had softened some during your coughing incident. He growled low and dark as he started placing love bites on your collarbone.
“Sure you don’t want me to return the favor first, angel?” He was marking up your skin while he asked this, so you almost didn’t realize what he was asking specifically but then it dawned on you.
“As much I love seeing you with your head between my legs,” you responded, tugging on his hair again, “I’d rather have you fuck me up against this wall.”
He moaned against your collarbone, the action vibrating your skin. He pulled off of you and brought your lips to his in a filthy kiss. “Your wish is my command.”
Jungkook lifted you up then by placing his hands under your ass and you got the message, wrapping your legs around him as he held you up. He turned so your back was against the wall, the only things now holding you up being his strong arms and the smooth tile behind you.
He first plunged two fingers inside you without a warning, making you let out a silent scream. He smirked at the way you clenched around his fingers, scissoring them before pulling them out again. You whined at the loss and he shushed you with a gentle kiss on your nose.
“Had to make sure you’re ready, baby.” He had one arm wrapped around your waist, trapped in between your back and the shower wall. With his now free hand, he lined himself up with your entrance, moaning when the tip of his cock was sucked in by your velvety walls.
“Fuck, you already feel so good and I’m barely in yet,” he clenched his jaw as he sank further into you inch by inch. When he finally bottomed out and was filling you up in the best way possible, you clenched around him to tease him further, making him curse.
“Watch it, angel,” he growled. “You’re gonna make it very hard for me to not blow it if you keep doing that, and I want you there with me when I do.”
“Then I guess you’d better start moving,” you teased, wrapping your arms more tightly around his neck. You knew what was coming next; Jungkook would put you exactly in your place, just like you wanted. And for that you needed to hold on tight for dear life because that man could rock you like nothing ever had before.
Jungkook grabbed your hips firmly in his hold as he fucked up into you, making sure you were held against the wall and weren’t in danger of falling down as he did so. Despite this, each thrust had you sliding more up the wall until he would bring you back down again. When he found a pace that was he was sure he could resume without either of you getting hurt, he finally let go.
To say you saw stars would be an understatement. Jungkook was fucking you with so much vigor that you weren’t just seeing stars, you were sure you were seeing entire galaxies. Your sounds kept dying out on your tongue because the feeling was so overwhelming and it had your trembling around him in no time.
“Can’t make any sounds when I’m fucking you this good, angel?” Jungkook was taunting you now and quite frankly, he was right, he was fucking you so good that you were finding it hard to say anything. And the mixture of his dirty words with the sweet pet name you adored had you clenching even tighter around him, causing him to groan loudly and grip your waist tighter.
You eventually found your voice again when Jungkook hit a certain spot inside of you, pulling an embarrassingly loud whine from your throat. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, tears almost brimming in your eyes once again at how good he felt.
“Fuck, Jungkook, feels so good, oh my God-” your praises made him twitch inside you as he moved his hands now from your waist to hold you up by cupping your ass, squeezing tightly in time with his thrusts. He was bouncing you up and down on his cock now with his strength alone, and the thought of it made your orgasm start to approach at an alarmingly fast rate.
“I love feeling you so close like this, I love you, so fucking much, shit-” Jungkook cut himself off as threw his head back to get his hair out of his face, careful not to let his balance falter or his grip slip on you. He had to do it though because his hair was keeping him from seeing your face now that you were leaning your head back against the wall, and he couldn’t have that.
“I love you, Jungkook, I’m close, fuck,” you were breathing hard as you couldn’t control your moans any longer, eyes squeezed shut and tears falling from just how much pleasure you were receiving and also how much you loved this man. Jungkook was the man you’d loved for so many years before you were finally able to call him yours. He always took care of you in every aspect of life, and you reciprocated it as best you could. And it was because of this kind of love you two had for each other that made these intimate times all the more meaningful. You were sitting here, back up against a shower wall in the arms of the man you loved while he rearranged your guts, and it was such an emotional experience alongside being a pleasurable one that the tears actually made sense.
Jungkook bit down on your shoulder and pulled you out of your reverie, making you cry out as he muffled his own sounds against your skin. You could tell by his thrusts that he was getting close now, his grunts happening more frequently and louder, echoing off the tiled shower walls. The water had already started to get cold but neither of you cared. Nothing outside of the two of you existed in this moment, and that was exactly how you liked it.
“Touch yourself for me, baby, I’m close, want you to be there with me,” Jungkook breathed out, his grip on your ass harsher now and you were sure there’d be marks tomorrow. You loved it when he marked you up, and even though he always felt slightly bad about it, you knew Jungkook loved seeing the marks, too.
You obeyed his command and reached down to rub your clit, nearly shrieking at the new wave of pleasure that washed over you. The sensations on your clit, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside of you, the way he was holding you, and all the things he was saying to you was enough to finally push you over the edge.
“Jungkook, I’m cumming, fuck-” you barely had time to utter out your warning before you were cumming hard around his length, your body spasming as he held you through it.
He sped up then, chasing his own high now, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making his eyes roll back. “Fuck, I can feel you, always so perfect for me, I’m close-”
His eyes were closed now so he didn’t see you reach for him. You pulled him closer so you could kiss him, hoping to help him along this way, swallowing down every beautiful sound he was making. “C’mon Koo, cum for me, wanna feel you fill me up.”
“Fuuuuck,” he moaned out, loud and long as that was the last thing he needed to get him there. His hips stuttered a few more times before you felt him twitch and fill you up, just like you wanted. Because gravity was working against you due to your current position, you could feel some of it dripping out of you despite Jungkook still being inside of you. The feeling made you scrunch up your nose, and the action made Jungkook laugh and mumble out ‘cute’ as he placed a kiss on the tip of your nose.
He pulled out of you carefully before moving you away from the wall so he could set you down on your feet. Your legs were a little wobbly, so he let you brace yourself against him as he helped you clean up.
The water was nearing a very uncomfortable cold temperature, but the both of you would rather endure that than leave the shower without cleaning off completely. After the workout you both had, there was nothing more you wanted than to curl up with each other in the bed.
After helping each other get clean again, and stealing quite a few kisses while doing so, Jungkook helped you out of the shower since you still didn’t trust your legs and dried you off before taking care of himself. Your heart swelled at the sight of him as it always did when he would take care of you like this.
You just hoped that you were taking care of him in all the ways he needed as well. You were certainly trying your best and would continue to do so for the rest of your life.
Once you were both snuggled into bed, him with an arm under you and you with your face nuzzling against his chest, you broke the silence first.
“If that’s what happens when I let you put paint on me, we should do that more often.”
Jungkook, who was tracing invisible patterns on your back in between your shoulder blades, laughed so hard you shook along with him. When he finally calmed down, he was able to answer you. “I totally agree. Although, I don’t think that happened because I painted you. It happened because you-” he booped you on the nose “-teased me, knowing full well what happens when you do.”
You shrugged as best you could with his arms around you. “You love it, though.”
Jungkook chuckled. “Indeed I do.” He placed a kiss on the top of your head and resumed his earlier soothing tracing of patterns on your skin. You rested your cheek against his chest and could hear his heartbeat, slow and steady. The combined actions of his hands and the steady thrum of his heartbeat was enough to have slumber calling your name in a matter of minutes.
Jungkook had something more to say, however.
“Hey,” he called gently, making you look up at him with groggy eyes. He smiled at the sight. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For helping me. For being my muse. I’ve got more ideas now about what else to create, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten there without your help.”
You smiled at him before you placed your head down again and shut your eyes once more, breathing deeply. “You would’ve eventually. That’s just how you are. Maybe I sped up the process, but you would’ve done fine.”
“Perhaps,” he sighed and looked at the ceiling. His glance travelled down to look at your nearly sleeping form, laying on him calm and unbothered. Moments like these topped his list of favorite things, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.
“Goodnight, angel,” he murmured softly, not sure if you were asleep or not yet. You muttered something unintelligible back, but he knew you were telling him goodnight all the same, and it brought a smile to his face.
Jungkook wanted to tackle life with you, the good, the bad, all of it; he wanted to do it with you by his side. He wanted to make sure every day of your life from here on out was filled with happiness and love and everything you deserved in the world, just as you wanted to do the same for him. He knew you’d do anything for him, and he’d do anything for you.
Only for you.
#bts#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook fluff#jungkook au#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenarios#ofy drabble
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Reiner Braun SFW Alphabet
I'm going to college in a few days so I need to fill my sketchbook up with drawings so hopefully I get accepted into the art department 🥰
For now, enjoy blond teddybear alphabet, request for any character next since I'm doing the most requested.
—A (Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
•Reiner's love language is a bit of all but mostly it's physical touch y'get me?
•He loves the feeling of his scarred and big fingers stroking against your soft, warm cheek. Of course, that's the least he does. Reiner loves touching (in a non-sexual way) to him it feels as though it's transferring energies to one another.
•There is so much he does throughout the day, holding your hand and playing with your fingers, his hand on your shoulder when you two are sat down and a very long hug when he's 'needing it' (That's when he's feeling down, the most a hug has ever lasted was four minutes and trust me, that's a lot when you're standing in one space :"))
•For him, he'd love to tickle you with his prickly beard and have you cup his face to make him stop, just hearing your laughter is enough to cause a swarm of butterflies to assault his tummy
•He is a big fan of rubs. Rub his tummy, his cheek, his back, thigh- it causes him to further on the brink of insanity. It feels so good and reassuring.
—B (Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
•Reiner is your mini cheerleader, he'd been there for you since you showed him kindness and loyalty, genuinely shocked that you'd ditch all of your friends for him. From that moment on, he became your partner in crime.
•It all began when his and your friends set him up. Where they all lied about the direction and date of an outing. When you and him were running an errand together, you began blabbing on about the place you and your friends were going to go and without realising, Reiner found out he was purposely left out.
You stopped talking when you noticed his shoulders sag, usually smug face bland. "Reiner?" You whispered, already understanding what had happened.
"I didn't know I was that annoying." He laughed dryly, absolutely no humour in hid voice. You gritted your teeth and gripped the handle of the box harder. How could they do this?! Reiner was the best out of the group! "Fuck those snakes. You and me are going to that event alone."
•Nah you guys didn't end up going, sure you went at first but when you arrived, your friends were eyeing you up and down and it almost ended in a physical fight between you and one of them so Reiner dragged you out of there. Don't worry, you spent the rest of the evening with your fun grandma (IDK how she hasn't broken her spine yet) surprisingly, her and Reiner shared one brain cell through out the entire day💀
—C (Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
•Are you kidding me?! Of course, he loves cuddling!
•Overtime, I would headcanon that Reiner's muscles softened so he became very squishy and fun to hug. So warm, so pudgy
•Since in the daytime, you and him are a bit too busy, it would always be at night time where the moment you crawl into bed, he hugs you to his chest and whispers small but sweet things about how he's waited all day for this.
•He's so big that you'd feel so safe :") huge weighted blanket that helps the nightmares fuck off T_T
•The way Reiner cuddles you feels as though you're the only thing left to cling onto, while he may not say it aloud, he thinks it every time you leap onto him. Ugh, I love him sm 😒
—D (Domestic. Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
•After all he's been through, of course he wants to settle down. Preferably with a kind and caring wife. I see him as a farm dad I AM SO SORRYYY😭 LOOK AT HIM. Imagine him chopping wood and tell me it isn't canon 🙄
•If you're asking if Reiner would be a housewaifu, yes he would- don't argue with me bestie. I SAID DON'T ARGUE👹
•Wifey Reiner is always asking about how work was, kissing your cheek goodbye and wearing that cute pink and white apron you got him no matter how shy it made him when you tease about it
•I think he's clumsily okay with domestic things if you get me? He barely breaks plates but when he does he accidentally cuts himself in the process and you'd sigh when you find his hands covered in hello kitty plasters.
—E (Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
•I don't like angst, fu** off Mr angst 🖕
—F (Fiance(e). How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
•Reiner isn't the type to place time on a love scale. I think a year or two is all he needs to tie a knot about his decision
•Once he finds someone he feels is right for him, he gets insecure about whether or not he deserves you and you can tell when these thoughts hit him because it's a very specific stare. Like someone just betrayed him- YEAH that's the face! Slightly squinted yet teary eyes and a soft frown.
•There's nothing in this world that could replace the overwhelming butterflies he gets in his stomach when you reassure him. For him, marrying is like keeping you safe, from OTHER MEN BECAUSE OTHER MEN ARE DOGS👹
—G (Gentle. How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
•Being the giant that he is, Reiner would try his absolute hardest to make sure he doesn't accidentally hurt you. He'd softly pinch your cheek, sway gently when he embraces you with a weak yet secure strength.
•Emotionally, he isn't that scarring since he stays silent during most arguments. I would bring up his personality disorder however, I didn't see any of it during season 4 so I don't feel educated enough to say anything.
—H (Hugs. Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
•For the millionth time, I must repeat that Reiner is just a touch starved teddy bear. The more touch-starved, the more he wants a hug.
•His hugs are like a safety capsule LMAO WEIRD WORDING BUT THAT'S HOW I'D DESCRIBE IT! Like, there's nothing that can get you if he's hugging you, it's basically a spawning spot so nothing can get you if you hang around in his arms.
•In my opinion, if you two got in an argument and haven't hugged once the entire day, your heart is going to ache 🤚 idcidc he got you so used to his hugs that it's practically like oxygen to you- you NEED it
—I (I love you. How fast do they say the L-word?)
•It would be so very brief, he didn't expect you to raspily mumble it back to him. You were fast asleep, the warmth of your hand against his left chest
•At that moment he really realised how much you meant to him and the extents you go to just to make sure he's okay and he's just never had anyone care about him in that way before.
—J (Jealousy. How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
•Reiner can get jealous pretty fast and it ends with him being super closed off, he isn't making dumb jokes and touching you so that's how you'd know something is up
•When he gets jealous, he doesn't really do anything, maybe distance himself or wait for you to say something and explain that there's only space for one idiot in your heart
��K (Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
•When Rein kisses, it's a long press against *any part of your body* and departs with regret. His favourite place to kiss you would be on your cheek/near your jawline.
•He'd gently stroke your hair out of the way and plant a warm kiss on there, his other hand on cupping the other side of your face
•As for Reiner, any kiss is fine for him, however, he loves it when you do it lazily. For example, you're shorter than him and can't be asked to tiptoe? No worries you can just smooch his arm! Or if you're cuddled up and his face is super close, you'll just kiss whatever is closest.
—L (Little ones. How are they around children?)
•I don't really like writing about children, idk why it makes me feel icky and miserable
—M (Morning. How are mornings spent with them?)
•Every morning he automatically wakes up at nine AM so if his work is earlier he requires an alarm xdxd
•When he feels a warm weight on him he automatically smiles, how could he not?! If his arms loosened around you during the night then he'd tighten them around you when he wakes up, kissing your head over and over again to wake you up.
•And his scruffy beard is tickling your forehead-- are you feeling your stomach twist😩?
•He'll deal with any morning as long as it's a morning with you, however, his favourite mornings are lazy mornings where you both have nothing to do. Usually he'd scold you for eating icecream in the morning but WHY NOT? YOU GUYS HAVE NO WORK TO DO SO-
•But if it is a work day then it's the usual routine between you two, he won't leave without a kiss though🙄 don't be shy, grab his face and-
—N (Night (How are nights spent with them?)
•Nights are fun with him and I say this because he's always asking to do your skincare routine and if you allow him it's the cutest thing ever.
•You're lazily sprawled out in bed, half-asleep while he's propped up on his elbow, making circular motions on your cheek as he rubs in your beauty products. It's a physical lullaby
•I'd say he's a nighttime shower-er, it feels more refreshing for him to bathe at night time so if you cuddle up close to him you can smell johnsons baby bedtime bath-
•Yeah, don't doubt my headcanons, he totally uses that brand and in the morning he reeks of it- NO ONE'S COMPLAINING THOUGH! IT SMELLS SO GOOD-
—O (Open. When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
•If Reiner wanted to trauma dump on you, he would've. Ohhhhh he would have dropped a trauma bombshell on you but guess what? He didn't, he didn't like the idea of burdening another soul with the shit he carries, especially one so pure such as yours. (Take the compliment best friend. Take it.)
•Although he doesn't speak of his burdens, he shows it.
•You showing too much love for him? He starts to tear up. You do something for him no one ever has? He tells you how he really doesn't deserve it and through his actions it is so painfully obvious he has issues
•I can't explain how hard your chest would ache when he starts sobbing. It's the equivilant of watching your stoic mum/dad cry, you never expected it but you never want someone you love so dearly to be in so much obvious pain.
•He'd completely wet your shirt in the process and feel bad about it. When he continuously apologises you feel an urge to slap him and get it in his head that he isn't such a terrible man that deserves hell. And that you love him- sorry ssjjsjss😭😭😭
—P (Patience. How easily angered are they?)
•Reiner is the exact opposite of impatient. Maybe Gabi did that to him LMAO, who knows?!
•But if you're being pathetic, too clumsy, behind on your life he'll try to help you instead of out-right insulting you or screaming about how you should get your shit together
•If you were purposely annoying him it wouldn't annoy him💀 he has a soft spot for annoying people FOR SOME REASON. Lowkey, he'd get you to stop by enveloping your body into his and trust me, he has the strength to keep you in his arms for eternity so unless you promise that you'll stop annoying him then you're staying your ass there🤚
—Q (Quizzes. How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)
•As his S/O you are SPECIAL to him, he remembers so much of you. He'd be walking in a park or something and remember a random funny memory of you and start laughing to himself
•Or when someone is having a conversation with him and they bring up a familiar habit about someone he just stops them and happily pops a: "Y/n does that!" "Y/n used to be addicted to that!" "My Y/n doesn't shut up about that. Bless."
•Fr he doesn't realise that he brings you into every conversation he has with someone and it's obvious he's still in love, it's so funny and cute
•When you talk, he's all ears, like an obedient but excited puppy. It all sticks in his head, even completely useless information that he'd teach someone else and proudly add a "Y/n taught me that." In the end.
—R (Remember. What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)
•You both were sat under a tree, Reiner was slowly falling asleep against it, his hand clasped onto yours but he didn't question it when you let go of him. He liked your presence and didn't need you to talk to appreciate it.
However, when he felt the grass rustling, his eyes fluttered open, golden pools finding you straddling his lap with a flower crown dangling loosely in between your fingers.
He said nothing but watched you in awe as you crowned him with a pure smile carved on your lips. "There, now you're really a sleeping angel." With a small peck on his cheek.
—S (Security. How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
•Very protective, he just doesn't want you getting hurt, it would bite a huge chunk out of him and cause bitter guilt to lash at his flesh
•To him, protecting you is making sure you're happy and that nothing will emotionally or physically pains you. All this is done when he asks you how you're day was while he hugs you from behind, listening to all details while rubbing your waist in soothing motions Or taking an extra coat with him when you both go out because he knows you're too stubborn to wear one in case you get "too hot with it on"
•Reiner likes it when you are the dominating person when cuddling, letting him cuddle into your stomach, he feels protected at the feeling of your legs wrapped around his hip and your fingers raking at his scalp. He falls asleep in five minutes to it, it's like a spell😭
—T (Try. How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
•A lot of effort, it gets difficult when he drags his friends along and he's trying to pick between two choices wondering which one you'd like best and it ends up with him getting both (Mr simp smh smh)
•For dates he'd mostly ask you what you'd like. He'd do anything, even going to that zoo where the creepy gorilla won't stop staring at him💔
•Everyday tasks aren't difficult for him, he puts effort in by default (without realising)
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
•He does not give a rats ass about his well being.
•Bitch?! You're allowed to treat yourself nicely, what's up with caring so much about other bastards?! I get you like them and shit but still, you're a human too.
—V (Vanity. How concerned are they with their looks?)
•Not very much but he's still hot
•Still, he can't help feeling soft when you sit him down and perform your skincare routine on him and of course he blushes at every compliment you utter
•And his frown lines too! He doesn't realise he's frowning all the time so before bed, you kiss between his brows and it automatically causes his features to soften. It's so cute, he understands instantly and chuckles, bringing you closer to him.
—W (Whole. Would they feel incomplete without you?)
•Well, let's be honest, has Reiner ever felt whole? With or without himself?
•But he can't help but mentally crash when he smells your scent at random times, remembering the huge hole you left in him
•Or when he sees something you always wore, something you'd say. He stops whatever he's doing and kind of disassociates?
—X (Xtra. A random headcanon for them.)
•He is a whore for bedtime stories, loves falling asleep to your voice. RECITE THE DICTIONARY FOR ALL HE CARES! HE LIKES HEARING YOU SLOWLY GET MORE TIRED AS YOU READ TO HIM!
—Y (Yuck. What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
•He wouldn't want a bully, if he notices that you hurt people with no remorse he's completely turned off and disgusted
•Or a bitch at that- sorry😭 you're not a baddie you're just rude stfu
Z (Zzz. What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
•Night terrors seem to stick to him like gum from hell. He's lowkey embarrassed when he accidentally wakes you up by his yelping and gasps for air in the middle of the night.
•But you don't mind, you're there for him every step of the way to recovery, ushering him to lay back down while you leave bed to make him peppermint tea 🥺
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Headcanon
࣪𑁍˖՚༹⌒ Domestic chores with Nct 127 ⌒ ༹՚˖𑁍 ࣪
ᨳ☆‧˚Taeil
Taeil always feels kinda discouraged to start doing the chores, and he drags you along on procrastinating with him
"Come here, Y/N, stay with me a little bit more! Let's cuddle five more minutes, okay?". You agree, ofc, and you stay on the bed for a little too long, talking about the zillion things you have to do, but not having the guts to leave each other's arms.
When you start cleaning the house though, he really gets into it. No dirty spots and no dusty surfaces escape his strong hands.
He plays the most random songs, from classic music to heavy EDM, and you vibe together while doing the chores, bouncing with your brooms in hands and spinning your stained cloths in the air.
In the kitchen, he always gladly cooks for you. But after a long tiring day doing domestic chores, you both agree on ordering some food, spending the night just chilling, watching a movie in the middle of which Taeil probably will fall asleep.
ᨳ☆‧˚Johnny
Johnny is the one who organizes the chores at home. He assigns what each one needs to do, and there you go, his high energy overflowing from his body, encouraging you and providing you the ignition you needed.
"I clean up here, you clean down there" - he says with a suspicious smirk. You don't know if he is making fun of you or if he is being considerate.
He needs his coffee pauses, and he makes you take a break too. You talk about the most random daily things, which always leads to precious bonding moments, the kitchen getting filled with laidback laughs.
Then you continue your activities, in your own pace, jamming to some soft background music.
Johnny likes to offer you rewards. "If we finish this today, I'll buy us some nice ice cream, and then I'll take you to the movies. Deal?"
ᨳ☆‧˚Taeyong
Taeyong has the most endearing way of convincing you that it's time to do some domestic chores. "Y/N, come hereeee! It's time for a couple activity!! I even got us matching rubber gloves, look!"
He doesn't let you do heavy tough stuff though. But when you see him struggling by himself and run to help him, he gives you the most precious smile, full of admiration and gratitude. A cute "Thank yoou!" (yes, in his cute english <3) leaves his mouth.
But there's one thing about doing chores with him that is a bit trick: he loves to rearrange the furniture and decoration. It's always extra tiring, but you have to give him the credit for your house being so cool and stylish.
Taking care of your pets is something that consumes a lot of time, but Taeyong does everything with happiness and sparkly eyes.
He makes sure you have some breaks, to keep hydrated and to eat something. He will prepare you some sandwiches, while you start to plan a little trip to the grocery shop.
ᨳ☆‧˚Yuta
Yuta and you have this synchronicity and telepathy. You think "I guess it's time to sweep the front yard". You get your broom and everything, and when you step out the house, Yuta is already there, cleaning everything.
"Oh, you had the same idea! Well, you can...", he says. "Oh, I guess I will...", you start. "....do the laundry.", you two say at the same time, smiling at each other.
He tries to do things in "Marie Kondo style". He takes a long time folding your clothes, but it's worth the effort. Your wardrobe is a beautiful piece of art.
If he thinks something is dangerous for you, he definetely won't let you do it. Changing the lamp? No no no! It's not that he thinks you're not capable of doing things, he knows you can do anything. He just can't live with the possibility of you getting hurt.
After a day of hard work, you take a warm bath together, and stay in bed for the rest of the night.
ᨳ☆‧˚Doyoung
Like Johnny, Doyoung assigns the chores. He knows the things each one of you is good at.
But he is the type of person that sees you doing something, and automatically says "Wait baby, let me do it for you", or starts helping you, out of habit.
For example: you're doing the dishes, you wash part of the things in the sink, and then you start to rinse them. Doyoung takes the opportunity to sneakily snatch the dish sponge and, it's too late, he won't give it back to you. "Don't get used to it though", he says with a little grin. You grin back, because you lost count of how many times you've heard this same sentence.
You have a lot of plants at home, and Doyoung treats them like real babies. He even bought one for you, a baby tree of your favorite fruit.
Cooking is his thing, so he makes sure you have a nice, delicious and nutricious meal everyday.
ᨳ☆‧˚Jaehyun
Jaehyun will gladly do anything you ask him to do with the best of intentions, and he does his best to help.
He looks at the weather forecast to see when it's a good day to do the laundry, he sorts the garbage for recycling, he researches the supermarkets with the best prices, and does other little things that seem unimportant, but that are truly essential.
He likes vaccuing very dirty places. The satisfaction he gets from seeing the clean path that the vaccum leaves among the dirty is priceless.
But he is clumsy, so you know you can't let him get near the fragile stuff. So the kitchen is a little bit dangerous for him
If he can't help you with something, he makes sure to support you, like a real cheerleader. "Oh yessss honey! You're doing great, wow!That's my baby!!", he says, already massaging your shoulders.
ᨳ☆‧˚Winwin
Winwin sees you getting ready to start cleaning, and he asks you what he can do to help, while wearing your spare cute apron, which makes you smile like a fool.
He follows you and do what you do, ocasionally asking you if the things he is doing are good enough.
He is extra careful when hanging the clothes out on the clothesline, making sure to spread them well to avoid any wrinkles. He knows none of you like ironing, and also you burned yourself once, and he doesn't want this to happen ever again.
He spends a considerable amount of time making your bed, changing the bed linen, tyding up the sheets and smoothing the pillows, so you can feel good in a clean space and relax with him after working hard all day long.
ᨳ☆‧˚Jungwoo
Jungwoo is very good at domestic chores. He is a tidy and organized person, so things go smoothly in your house
He has the ability of turning every boring task into a pleasant and funny experience. Out of sudden you're having a broomstick battle. Out of sudden you're blowing soap bubbles. Out of sudden you're with white flour blots all over your face, after a spontaneous flour smudge battle.
For your surprise, he is excelent on fixing things. His creativity helps him a lot, along with a couple of YouTube videos and a degree on engineering.
Times just flies by his side, and you get surprised when you see the sun going down by your window, as he streches his back and says "we're finally done!", pulling you for a little celebration dance.
Jungwoo doesn't want to cook after doing domestic chores all day long. He orders an amount of food that could feed well ten people, and you eat a lot while watching some nice series.
ᨳ☆‧˚Mark
Mark always tries his best at everything. He knows he is a little bit clumsy, so he does things carefully. Thank God he has spider senses.
A chore that is supposed to be finished in ten minutes takes thirty to be completed, but it's completely fine, because you know it will be perfectly done.
He used to get confused with all the types of cleaning products, but he eventually learned about them all and now he knows anything's purpose just by smeling it. "Mmmm very soft floral smell, must be clothes soap/ Very strong and citric, I guess this is disinfectant" (pls people, don't be like this, it's dangerous for everyone!!!)
At the end of the day, he is so satisfied looking at your team work. You can see it on his little proud smile, while he runs an arm over your shoulders and distractedly kisses your cheek.
ᨳ☆‧˚Haechan
Haechan whines for two minutes before starting doing chores, but he is a man of action after all. "The sooner we start it, the sooner we'll finish it", he says to himself.
You play rock paper scissors to decide who will be the one that will do the unpleasant chores, like cleaning the bathroom and taking the garbage out.
But hearing your heavy sigh after losing for him makes him go "ahh ok, I'll do it, don't worry, but it will cost you twenty kisses!"
He doesn't stop singing while doing the chores. He is like a walking karaoke machine,he knows every song you ask him to sing.
When he cooks for you, you often catch him talking to his mom on the phone, asking her about that dish you liked so much the last time you visited her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
•° Thanks anon, for the request!! I hope you like it!
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•° Masterlist
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#nct#nct reactions#nct headcanons#nct scenarios#nct imagines#nct blurbs#nct 127 reactions#nct 127#nct 127 headcanons#nct 127 fluff#nct fluff#nct 127 imagines#nct 127 scenarios#taeil#moon taeil#johnny#johnny suh#nct johnny#yuta#Taeyong#Doyoung#Jaehyun#winwin#jungwoo#mark#mark lee#haechan#donghyuck
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My 2020 Reading List - Dramione
This year, I’ve read way more dramione than I’ve ever read, and I’ve been reading it for 7 years now. I even read things, tropes, I had never bothered with before. 2020 may not have been a kind year, but in the dramione community it has been a wonderful year of reading for me. Please be aware I may spoil some plot lines to dramione fanfictions you haven’t read yet. I have tried not to as best as I can. But anyway below is 20 fics I’ve read this year that have been there for me when I needed them. No particular order. Just a lot of love for these fics.
Wait and Hope - by @mightbewriting - memory loss is one of my favourite tropes but this story. I have never cried over a couch before. But this story. From the moment she first awakes in St Mungo’s to that beautiful ending, I was hooked. I loved how the story left me with not really a care about whether or not Hermione got her memories back. Those bloody text messages 💔 a journey I’ll never forget.
The Unofficial Diary of an Omega - MrsRen - my first time reading anything omegaverse. It still isn’t my favourite trope. I much prefer Veela for some reason 🤷🏻♀️ but overall it was a good story, just not my thing.
Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach - I actually gave up on this story the first time I read it. Unsure as to why because the story as a whole is just amazing. Baking and dramione? Yes please! Also dealing with their psychological trauma after the war? Heck yes! The relationship in this story develops at a lovely pace. There were moments I was on edge, others I was smiling ear to ear whilst reading this. Definitely one of my favourites now.
In Search Of Sunrise - @indreamsink - actually just reread this and I still get that warm feeling in my chest. So turns out my break up hasn’t made me lose the ability to enjoy dramione falling for each other. Anyway, the story was so heartwarming, like if I were to describe it as anything I would describe it as a hug. The best non-date fic there is.
Sex and Occlumency - Graendoll - this was the start of my slippery slope into reading smut stories. Like I had read smut before, obviously but I didn’t pay it much attention, normally just swiped past 😂 but this one was a completely different story.
Manacled - @senlinyu - this is truly the most beautifully haunting story I’ve ever read. I remember when I first started reading it, I thought to myself, how the hell could I ever ship dramione in this world? Then those flashbacks. Fuck those flashback chapters were a punch in the gut. The way everything links and connects. I love it’s realistic ending. I often think of this story in the shower cause I had to force myself to go shower whilst I read this cause I honestly couldn’t put it down. And SPOILER, but I laughed so hard at a certain characters death even though I probably shouldn’t have but she was such a bitch. I get flashbacks myself of this story. I’ll be in the shower and I’ll remember a certain sentence, a certain scene in my head as if I truly walked with Hermione on this heart wrenching journey. But fuck manacled Harry, I hate that boy.
He Becomes by @abromaposts - I needed this story. This was the first thing I read after Manacled. Draco Malfoy looking after rabbits with the sole reason being to get close to Hermione, yes please. Rabbits are my favourite animals. It’s just so much fluff. And after Manacled I was grateful.
The Right Thing To Do - @lovesbitca8 - this was the bookshop, slow burn, fluffiness I needed in the summer. The start of a truly wonderful universe. Idiots in love, I’ve never went through so much second hand embarrassment. Every interaction between Hermione and Lucius was fantastic. Especially the final one! Every character was written to a way that I loved them so much. Plus this story makes you think (like the rest of the series) it doesn’t spoon fed you information.
All The Wrong Things - @lovesbitca8 - I never thought I’d be into first person POV. The last thing I read like that was The Hunger Games back in school, many years ago. But I truly felt as if Draco were telling me the story. I love how it filled in things we never seen in the first story. I love Draco’s characterisation. Unlike TRTTD, this feels more lighthearted. Could just be the horny Draco though and his dramatics?
The Auction - @lovesbitca8 - this story. where do I start? When I started reading this story I was in a completely different life. This story has seen me through a terrible time in my life. Honestly the last few chapters before the final chapter were a blur and I had to go and reread them cause my head was all over the place but the story. This story, on it’s own, I would say is better than any fiction I’ve ever read 🤷🏻♀️ it grips you, pulls you in. Every question you ask, you get answered with a ribbon and bow. I cannot express my love, for this story and for the hard work that has went into it. The characters in this world so vastly different yet similar to the ones we already learned to love. I could write a love letter to this story.
Hindsight by @floorcoaster - if you haven’t been following this year long, monthly updated story, then you’ve really missed out. Each chapter is a month of the year. The story starts with Hermione planning to trim down her calendar for the year ahead. Although it’s fiction it gave me a sense of hope for my future. I had started this year on a different note than Hermione, and I’m now ending it on a different note as well. I think this story does a good job of capturing the passage of time and just how quickly things can change. I also really love these adorable idiots in this story.
Bring Him To His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets (WIP) - the best co-worker, friends to lovers, fake relationship story I’ve read. No question. I sent @magicaltraveler3 a tearful voice memo after that last chapter that was posted (chapter 20). It isn’t the first time I’ve cried at a fanfic, but it is the first time that I predicted something bad would happen, but I didn’t expect the bad thing to be what it was. I can’t wait to see where this story goes. At this point I have completely forgot about the murder plot. I know it exists, and we’ll get back to the murder but I’d honestly read the characters in this story eating breakfast.
The Flat In Bath by @adaprix (WIP) - this was the first story I got into that ada has wrote. Instantly I was fascinated with the use of “flat” over “apartment”. Being Scottish I knew this was someone British. Anyway, a very interesting story and I can’t wait to see how the rest of it plays out.
Good by @lovesbitca8 - I am dying for the update of this story. As so many are, it is 🔥🔥🔥 all I can say. I can’t wait for the update!
The Erised Effect by @adaprix - When ada first told me she was thinking about writing a story about Pansy and Hermione working in a sex shop together. Telling me about having the idea of them meeting in the pub and how she “needed to get some filthy smut out of your system”. I didn’t think it would be my thing. Boy, did she prove me wrong!
The Cell by WrathOfMacy - I don’t know how I came to read this one. But damn, this was a good one (who am I kidding they’re all good ones). I’m still reading through it though. It’s a warfic in which Dramione end up locked in a cell together. The relationship builds nicely. I cannot wait to read more of it.
The Melody Of Touch by @magicaltraveler3 - I never knew I needed a dramione story like this story. I love that there is so much musical imagery incorporated into it. I haven’t read anything like it before. The story, the smut, the taxi and the freaking art work. It is everything!
Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8 - I’ll be honest with this one. I read the first chapter and the last chapter 🙈 BUT only cause everyone scared me so much. I plan to revisit. SPOILER. I may not care too much that Hermione cheated. Just me? Like yeah I hate cheating and she shouldn’t have done it, but like she admitted to it, and was very regretful for it. Anyway, the chapters I read were very interesting I look forward to revisiting it sometime.
Away by @indreamsink - written for the romcom fest and I got to say I think this one may be my favourite from the fest. Not only do you get dramione but you get the amazing side pairing of Harry/Pansy, which this year has really became my favourite side pairing. It’s like reading two love stories at once, I was interested in the dramione plot line obviously, but I was equally interested in the hansy/potts&pans plot line.
The Path Unexpected by @magicaltraveler3 - this story is a cute little domestic dramione fanfic. And I lived for it. It shows dramione going through the process of having a child and honestly, they’re so damn cute in this fic. The fanart is next level also!
#my 2020 reading list#personal#dramione#dhr#hermione x draco#draco and hermione#d/hr#draco x hermione#fanfiction#draco malfoy#hermione granger#hermione and draco#fanfics#dhr fanfics#2020 reads#reading list part 1#2020 was crap but I had dramione#dramione writers are the best writers#my thoughts
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