#+ fucking insane over lol— it’s fine if it’s not Sarah- but if it’s not Sarah then don’t make it another girl

[rotteneldritchhorror]

They gave Topper a girlfriend— devastating actually, I hope he stays fucking insane and obsessive and possessive and a little bitch cause otherwise what’s the poooiiinntttt

I need my kooks PATHETIC and USELESS. She better blow up on him for ignoring her to do whatever Rafe’s asking of him this time, I need him to be the worst boyfriend ever cause there’s no way that man can Be Normal for a second lol

[lovemyromance]

I have a little rant lol.

In general, the entire acotar fandom is immature and toxic (I honestly think its gotten so bad since nesta's book came out). Most of these people are grown women and men arguing back and forth about characters and ships. It's bad enough that its been going on for years that its sad. "I'll laugh at the elriels or gwnyriels or the eluciens if their ship isnt endgame" Do the people who say that realize how embarrassing they are? Many people are going to have good and terrible theories but bashing people and harassing people over fictional characters is just immature. I also hate when they say "its that [insert ship] the one who is being the most toxic and weird" NO. its all of you. None of us know who is going to be endgame no matter the theories you have or anything. YOU DONT KNOW. So, please, can we stop this already? its getting annoying and weird. This fandom has made it incredibly difficult to know who the next book is going to be about when its right in front of their eyes. Sarah has not made it impossible to know who the next will be about and I think thats why shes been so quiet about because everyone is being so aggressive about this ship war. I just know the moment she announces the couple, she'll get a ton of hate when its not even her fault because people love to twist her words on paper and thinks she's probably doing that but it could mean a whole other thing. Yall have let theories get to your head and twisted words so much that I think it's incredibly unhealthy for all of you to be acting this way. Stick with who you ship or love and of course, you can have beautiful theories, but toxicity is not necessary. No need to go back and forth about who is the real "endgame".

I mean yeah this fandom is insane. Sometimes as I'm aggressively typing out a reply to an anon who calls me a delusional psychotic bitch bc I made an Elriel post they didn't like, I genuinely just blink and think what the fuck am I doing?

It's partly why I didn't want get involved. At all.

I still try to keep to myself. Only even entertain the antis if they come to my posts. I stick to my own tags.

But there are people - and you're right they are from both sides, as I have also said multiple times on my blog -that go out of their way to start a fight on posts they know aren't meant for them.

These are the people that are making this fandom so toxic. Like I understand, no one person can be responsible for a fandom's collective behavior, but you can be responsible for yourself at the very least.

I have always made it clear what i believe acceptable behavior for discourse in this fandom is and isn't. It's not something I can personally enforce for others, but I can follow myself.

It really is crazy how out of hand this fandom has gotten because other people can't control themselves. If I see an anti Elriel post I don't like (and I don't follow any tags, actually, so I see ALL the ships posting), I have the self control to ignore it and keep scrolling.

This fandom has been overrun by childish adults, intent on being louder than the rest. It's crazy how many disgusting things have been said over just fictional characters, it makes me wonder what these people are like in real life.

At the end of the day - there's going to be a book and one side is going to be proven right. It's not worth all these vitriol that's been spewed across all sides just to "be right". I at least, would be perfectly fine to read an Elucien book. If Elriel does happen, I'm certainly not going to lord it over anyone's head and laugh.

Not worth my time. Not worth my energy.

[atlabeth]

tis the damn season part 3 - rafe cameron

part 2 | masterlist | part 4

a/n: lol sorry this took a metric fuck ton of time to come out i went back to school and i lost all motivation to write</3 i love it here. just for reference i drafted this post up on december 22 2021 and then proceeded not to touch it until like, two days ago. so yeah. i dont know if anyone still wants this series because it's been so long but here's part 3 anyways. a christmas fic in april? it's more likely than you think

and YES the family dinner was supposed to be in this chapter but i dont feel like making absurdly long chapters for this series so with my track record, you guys will have to wait another 3 months for it # lmao

warning(s): ward being a lil bit of a drama queen, alcohol (but they are all 21 its okay)

wc: 4.7k

It was far too early in the morning when you woke up, the first rays of the sunrise just barely managing to filter through the window drapes. You yawned as you sat up in the bed, and you couldn’t help the small smile that emerged when you looked over and saw Rafe still asleep next to you. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, without all the pressure that came with his life, and you had to stop yourself from reaching out a hand to play with his already messy hair. (You couldn't even think about him being shirtless under the covers.) It felt far too natural, and it was way too easy to imagine that this was real.

You pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they appeared and slid out of bed, trying your best to be quiet as you walked to the bathroom. (You still thought it was insane that he had a bathroom in his room.)

Your first day in the Cameron household was easier than you thought it would be, but you attributed that to the surprising lack of family togetherness — Rose spending almost all day on the mainland and Sarah hanging out with her friends that night saved you from a first night family dinner. You were eternally grateful, because now you had an extra day to mentally prepare to play the part of the girlfriend on stage.

After washing your face and fixing your hair from a night of sleep, you decided to make the daring venture outside in the name of caffeine. You padded your way from Rafe’s room to the kitchen, trying to make as little noise as possible seeing as the Camerons were all likely asleep. If it was your decision you wouldn’t be awake either, but your internal clock from waking up early for 8ams was still on, much to your annoyance.

Their coffee maker was right next to the sink and you got to work making it the way you did at home. But god, this kitchen was a lot bigger than anything you were used to, and for some reason these people didn’t keep the coffee next to the coffee maker. You found the coffee filters quicker than you found the actual coffee. In what world—

“Looks like we’ve got another early riser in the family.”

Your heart nearly bursted out of your chest at the unexpected voice as it interrupted your internal rant, and when you whirled around you were met with the sight of Ward Cameron. He chuckled and held up his hands when you let out an obvious sigh of relief.

“Sorry, sorry — I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

You offered a sheepish smile and shook your head. “You’re fine. I just wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up right now.” You gestured at the opened cabinets behind you. “I was just trying to find some coffee. Can’t really start my day without it.”

“Did you check the pantry?” he asked, gesturing behind him with a pointed finger to a door that you certainly did not check.

You sighed and shook your head as you walked over and opened the door. You made a triumphant noise when you found a bag of coffee grounds and walked back over to the counter. “Thank you,” you said as you opened the bag, then began spooning grounds into the fresh coffee filter. “I’m not used to a place this big.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Ward said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Where are you from?”

“Raleigh,” you answered, and after you hit a few buttons you turned back to face him. “Right in the city, born and raised. I’ve lived in North Carolina all my life, but I’ve actually never come down here. I can’t wait to see more of it with Rafe.”

“It is a lovely place,” he agreed with a nod, then he crossed his arms. “I just can’t understand why Rafe’s never told us about you before. We only found out about you a couple days ago on the phone, but he said you’ve been dating since late freshman year.”

You nodded along to the story, filing the note away in your mind for future reference. Almost two years, since freshman year third quarter, moved in after you were dating. You guessed this was what Rafe meant when you agreed to improv this whole backstory. “You have me to blame for that. Um— after we got together, I asked him not to tell people up front, and that included his family. Just because I wanted to make sure that we were steady without the input of anyone else, you know? When he asked if I would come down for break with him to meet you all, it felt like it was the right time. I’m sorry that we kept it from you, but I don’t regret it.”

Something akin to surprise flashed in Ward’s eyes but it was gone just as quickly as he offered a slight smile. “I understand. But you have to know that I’m a man who values candor, and that’s why I’m just going to ask you upfront.” Your brows creased in question, but you didn’t have the chance to ask before Ward hit you with a bullet. “What are your intentions with my son?”

It was such a high school question that you had to hold back a laugh, especially after you realized he was serious. “I’m… I’m sorry?”

“Rafe’s a junior in college, just like you. He’s taking his hardest course load yet, as well as contributing to Cameron Development back home. He’s setting himself up for a bright future in the business, and he can’t afford to stumble right now.” You shifted unconsciously under his eyes, uncomfortable at the scrutiny. “He doesn’t need any distractions.”

You huffed a dry laugh, still in disbelief that he was trying to have this kind of talk with you on your second day here. “With all due respect, I’m not a distraction, and Rafe’s not a child. The whole time we’ve been dating, his performance has been nothing less than stellar. He’s made the dean’s list every year, and I’m sure once he gets his grades back from finals it’ll be the same thing. He can handle a relationship along with college.”

“I’m not questioning Rafe’s intelligence,” Ward said, a slight edge to his words. “I’m questioning your role in his life.”

Your grip tightened on the mug in an effort not to drop it, but you felt at this rate you might break the ceramic instead. “I’m sorry Mr. Cameron, but I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation for us to have. Enjoy the rest of your morning.”

You kept your gaze trained straight ahead as you walked past him, on a steady path to Rafe’s room to get away from a middle-aged man’s high school drama. You knew that this would happen eventually, but you thought you would get a little more time to prepare before he did his whole thing. Ward Cameron, just as Rafe told you, was a whole different kind of father.

Rafe was just waking up when you entered his room again, and you made a point of closing the door before leaning up against it with a huff. He frowned as he sat up, and amusement poked holes in your anger at the sight of him. Messy hair, that look in his eyes that says he was slightly out of it, and a morning voice that was near lethal when he speaks. “Why’re you up so early? Now I’m up too, at—” he squinted as he looked at the clock on his bedside table, “—6:47. On winter break.”

You rolled your eyes, hiding your smile as you sipped your coffee. “I can’t help it. You should be a heavier sleeper.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled, and he let himself fall back down onto the mattress. “I can’t even go back to sleep because I’m in planning mode.”

You hummed into your cup, amused. “Really? Planning mode? What, are you gonna draw up a house in front of me?”

Rafe snorted. “No, it means that you’re gonna have to deal with everything I’ve been coming up with to save us from the onslaught that is my parents trying to get to know the girlfriend.”

“Ah,” you said with a nod. “Hit me with it.”

“I’m sorry to say that the grace period of your visit is over,” he said. “Any chance my parents get, they’re going to be drilling us — mostly you, really — about our relationship. But, I can get us out of a lot of the day stuff by going around the island, showing you new things and shit. And luckily for you, I already texted my friends last night, and they’re down to hang out today.”

You pursed your lips and nodded slowly. “About that. Your friends — sounds great. Love it. Your parents — not great. Your dad’s already tried to Big Bad Wolf his way into my head.”

Rafe immediately sat up and looked at you, his brows creased in concern. “He— okay, what does that mean?”

You chuckled. “He tried to intimidate me, Rafe. But it’s not like it worked — I mean, those tactics lose a lot of weight when we’re not even together.”

“Still,” he pushed, “it’s not okay for him to talk to you like that. Especially on our second day here— god, he really has no boundaries. He barely even knows you and he’s already trying to get in your head—”

“Rafe,” you interrupted, giving him a pointed look. “It’s okay. I’m just telling you because I think it’s kind of ridiculous how bad he is at being subtle. He really just comes out, guns blazing.” You lowered your voice to Ward’s timbre. “What are your intentions with my son? I don’t understand what happiness is.”

Rafe huffed a laugh but the concern didn't leave his gaze. “Are you sure that you’re okay?”

“Yes,” you reassured, “I’m perfectly fine. If anything, it’s prepared me for the inevitable family dinner tonight.”

Rafe groaned as he finally pulled himself out of bed, picking up the shirt he threw on the floor the night before and tugging it on. “God, don’t remind me or I’m gonna end up day drinking.”

“Don’t worry — I’ll keep you sober until at least noon,” you said with a smile. “Now what were you saying about those friends?”

-

It took a few more hours — mostly of Rafe waking himself up — before the two of you were ready to go. You spent the time talking through your relationship (you updated him on the additions to the backstory) and he told you some about his friends.

Topper and Kelce — you remembered some things about them from stories Rafe had told, but you didn’t really know anything, apart from some stupid things they did at parties when they were still in high school. Rafe was sure that they would like you, but it was going to come with a lot of teasing on their part. You could deal with that.

You were adding a few finishing touches to your appearance when Rafe called your name and you looked up from the bathroom mirror. “Put this on,” he said, and he threw something over to you that you just managed to catch.

“Why?” you frowned, holding it up in front of you to see that it was one of his favorite flannel hoodies. “I have my own jackets.”

“Come on, you’ve dated guys before, I’ve dated girls before. All girlfriends are hoodie thieves.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed, and you shook your head. “I’ve never been to a country club before, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t appropriate attire.”

He shrugged. “Your dress is perfect for it; you can just take it off when we get there. I just don’t want you to be cold on the way.”

You just smiled. “You’re really going all in on this, huh?”

“My livelihood’s at stake, babe,” Rafe said with mock austerity. “I’m gonna need you to put it on — this is serious business.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes, but you slipped it on over your outfit anyways. It was surprisingly comfortable, and it smelled faintly of Rafe’s cologne. “Is it within my roomie privileges to take your sweatshirts once we get back home?” you asked as you walked out of the bathroom. “Because this is maximum luxury.”

“After going through this with me, you can have whatever hoodies you want, free of charge,” he chuckled. Rafe glanced in the mirror as he ran a hand through his hair, doing his thing where he tried to make it messy enough to look natural but styled enough to be presentable. You caught yourself looking and immediately averted your eyes, instead adjusting the strings on the hoodie as you followed him out the door.

The house was surprisingly empty when everyone was off doing their own thing — in a place this big, it was almost unnerving. The distance from Rafe’s room to the kitchen was basically the size of your apartment, but where your home was always filled with warmth of your mother and the music of everyday activities, Tanneyhill was devastatingly cold.

Maybe that spark of sympathy was what led you to slip your hand into Rafe’s without thinking. Though he glanced at you in surprise at first, it melted into a smile as he squeezed your hand and led you outside. You were almost disappointed when you reached his truck and he let go, but you pushed that away as quickly as possible as you got in the passenger side.

Just friends.

“So,” Rafe started as he backed out of the driveway, “we’re meeting at the country club. Kelce and Top don’t know anything about you, only the stuff that’s popped up when I’ve told ‘em stories that you’ve ended up in. They’re… honestly pretty good at detecting bullshit, especially when it comes to me. So I hope your lying is up to par.”

“Please,” you scoffed, “I’ll have you know I played an amazing Eponine in Les Mis sophomore year — I know exactly how to act like I’m in love with a guy. And if you need me to fake getting shot, I can do that too.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Good to know that we have options, but I don’t think it’s gonna get that bad. Just be yourself and they’ll love you — I know it.” Rafe smiled and you responded in kind.

The drive to the country club was quicker than you thought it would be, but you felt oddly prepared as you walked inside with Rafe, once again holding hands. You stopped at the hostess’s stand, and a few seconds later a woman walked up holding a stack of menus.

“Welcome to Kildare Country Club,” she said with a smile. “What can I help you with today?”

“There should be a reservation under Cameron?” Rafe said, his eyes darting around as he looked for his friends. “Two people might be here already, um— Topper Thornton and Kelce Smith.”

She nodded and pointed to the outside seating area. “They’re over there; should be the third table from the left.”

“Thanks.” Rafe pulled a bill out of his pocket, and you saw the twenty on it as he put it on the stand. “Have a good day.”

Her eyes widened slightly and she nodded, and as you started to walk off you nudged Rafe with your elbow. “That’s a generous tip. Am I rubbing off on you?”

He shrugged with a small smile. “I’ve been trying to be better about it.”

“Cameron!”

Your attention was drawn to the voice, the source of it a tall blonde who screamed frat boy. From pictures you knew he was Topper, and the dark-skinned guy behind him was Kelce. They were both wearing polos and khaki shorts, and you had to hold back a laugh. If you looked up country club in the dictionary, there would probably be a picture of them there.

Rafe grinned as he went over to them, hugging both boys then launching into an elaborate handshake. This time, you couldn’t stifle your laughter.

“You’re a total nerd,” you joked, and that earned you both boys’ attention as huge grins took over.

“Holy shit,” Topper said. “Kelce, it’s the girl.”

“You finally did it,” Kelce laughed, hitting Rafe on his shoulder. “Congrats, man. Never thought you’d actually get the guts.”

You chuckled a little bit, giving Rafe a slightly odd look before nodding a greeting to both boys. They couldn’t get those ridiculous smiles off their face, and so you nudged Rafe to get him to explain. He was knocked out of his one-sided glaring contest as he looked at you, and you gestured with your head at the two of them. Thankfully, he understood it.

“Let’s just get to the table,” he said as he slid an arm around your waist, “before you two start acting like even bigger idiots.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Kelce held up his hands as the four of you started walking. “You just didn’t mention you’d be bringing your girl.”

“Or that she was the girl,” Topper added, and Rafe just shook his head as you all reached the table. You didn’t expect it when he pulled out your chair for you, and you tried to hide your amusement as you sat down. You were starting to really dig the benefits of this fake dating thing.

He took his own seat next to you and, after a small smile at you, looked at his friends. “Top, Kelce, by how annoying you’re already acting I assume you know, but this is Y/N, my girlfriend.”

“Yeah, it’s about time.” Topper turned to you and inclined his head. “He has not shut up around you since freshman year. I thought he was going to die before he actually asked you out.”

“Shut up, man.” Rafe tried to flick Topper’s arm across the table but he just raised his hands in defense, his self-satisfied smile remaining.

“It’s nice to meet you both,” you said, jumping in an attempt to save Rafe from some embarrassment. “I’ve heard a lot about you two; all good things.”

“And we have heard a lot about you,” Kelce said. “But you should probably go over some stuff again, so we can hear it without Rafe’s lovesick filter.”

Rafe groaned and put his head in his hands. “You guys are the worst.”

You laughed but decided to indulge them anyway. “Well, I’m Y/N, like you already know. I go to Chapel Hill with Rafe, and I’m a humanities major on a pre-med track. I’m uh— I’m from Raleigh, and I’ve never been to the Outer Banks before, but it’s pretty great so far.”

“Pre-med?” Topper raised his eyebrows and looked at Rafe. “Sounds like she’s too smart for you.”

“That’s because she is,” Rafe said. “She’s already starting to apply to med schools, and she got a 522 on her MCAT! She is a genius, Topper.”

You felt your cheeks flush and you shook your head. “Stop, Rafe. I’m not.”

“This is one time where you don’t have to be humble, babe.” Rafe took your hand and turned to his friends. “She almost got a full ride to Chapel Hill on merit scholarships, and she’s gonna be a kickass doctor once she graduates.”

You bit back your smile, but the heat continued to rise in your cheeks. It did feel pretty good to have someone brag about you, especially after everything you had gone through to get to where you were.

“You wanna be a doctor?” Kelce asked. You nodded, and he grinned. “Sick. One of my cousins is an RN; she graduated from Vanderbilt a couple years ago for med school.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up as you leaned forward. “I’m applying there! I’m hoping for Johns Hopkins, but Vanderbilt’s been on my list for a while. I’ve also really been looking into Southern California.”

“Oh, god,” Topper muttered. “Rafe, this is gonna go on for a while. Wanna go get drinks?”

Rafe glanced at you and when you nodded, he nodded. “Uh, sure. Just try not to talk her ear off, Kelce.”

You perked up. “Oh, can you get me—”

“A Mai Tai?” Rafe finished, and you grinned. “Yeah.”

“You know me so well.”

“I try.” Rafe hesitated for a moment as he stood up, and then he leaned in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You quickly covered your surprise up with a half smile, and he mouthed ‘sorry’ with a slightly harried expression as he walked off with Topper.

“Well, good luck with Johns Hopkins,” Kelce said. “If you’re anything like Rafe’s described, then I’m sure you’ll be able to get in.”

Your smile grew and you nodded. “Thanks, Kelce. I really hope so.” You paused for a second, trying to find the words for your question. “Um, what has he said about me? To you and Topper.”

“I don’t really know if it’s my business to tell you, but let me just say that he is really into you. But…” Kelce sighed and his expression sobered. “You should know that my boy’s had it bad for you, for a long time. You obviously mean a lot to him if he’s bringing you home for Christmas, because he has never done it with a girl before. I think you’re one of the only ones he’s introduced to his family too. So… just don’t mess with him. I can tell you’re a good person, so I don’t think you will, but…” he trailed off, the implication hanging in the air.

You didn’t know what to say to that. What could you say to that? Rafe has liked you since freshman year, or at the very least has had feelings for you at some point. But now you were acting as his fake date until New Year’s, and meeting his friends and family along the way. What did that mean for this whole thing?

You decided to ignore the whole thing, at least for now. You would deal with it later when you weren’t in front of an audience.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “of course. I would never hurt Rafe. I… I really care about him. I still can’t really believe that we’re together, honestly. It feels like a dream.”

Kelce smiled and you did too, but as it turned slightly coy you decided to ask the question that had been bugging you since it was brought up. “Did he really talk about me that much?”

He laughed. “Oh my god, constantly. Ever since this one party he went to freshman year, he wouldn’t stop talking about this girl that he met that, and I quote, rocked his world.”

You laughed as well, and when your fingers brushed your cheek you could feel all the heat that had gathered there. For the love of god, you needed to relax.

You just started taking your sweatshirt— Rafe’s sweatshirt, you reminded yourself— when he and Topper got back to the table, carrying a whole lot of drinks between them.

“One Mai Tai for the lady,” Rafe said, placing the glass in front of you, “and a fuck ton of shots for the rest of us.”

“Oh my god.” Your eyes widened slightly as Topper and Rafe placed down a combined ten shots, and you looked at your watch. “Guys, it’s 12:34; it is not late enough for shots. What’s even in there?”

Topper smiled. “Vodka. And this one,” he pushed the extra glass in your direction, “is for you. Think of it as your OBX rite of passage.”

You shook your head but the beginnings of a smile found its way onto your lips. “I can’t believe you’re all doing shots at noon, vodka at that.”

“Hey,” Kelce started as he picked up his own shot, “they do bottomless mimosas here every morning, which means they want you to get drunk before noon. We’re just subverting expectations by doing it thirty minutes after.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fine. But only this, because I have a feeling I’m gonna end up driving home.”

“Don’t worry,” Rafe said as he clinked your shots together with a smile, “I’ll make sure you don’t get too drunk.”

“I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count if you drink more than me.” You threw back your shot and your entire face immediately scrunched up as you set the glass on the table, regret instantly hitting you. “I forgot how much I hated vodka,” you winced.

“You’re such a lightweight,” Rafe joked, looking completely unaffected just like Kelce and Topper.

“Oh, you love it,” you retorted.

“Yeah,” Rafe agreed with a smile, “I do.”

You only managed to hide one of your own by taking a sip of your drink, completely oblivious to the very knowing looks Topper and Kelce were giving each other as you and Rafe basically beamed at each other.

“You guys gotta get a room,” Kelce interrupted, and you choked on your drink. That was enough to break the temporary reverie.

All that shit Kelce told you was throwing you for a spin, but it obviously didn’t mean anything. It was freshman year — you’d changed a lot in two years, and there was no doubt Rafe had too. He didn’t like you anymore, at least not like that. You were sure of it.

Besides. What kind of idiot asked his former crush to fake date him?

-

You ended up spending a lot more time with Kelce and Topper than you thought you would, but then again — the conversation also flowed a lot easier than you thought it would. You talked more about yourself, Topper and Kelce told you stupid stories about Rafe when he was younger, and a hefty amount of teamwork between you and your fake boyfriend kept the relationship talk to a minimum.

It wasn’t until four hours later when Rafe got a text from Rose asking him to come home to help set things up for dinner that you had to say goodbye to the boys, and only after a whole lot of last minute teasing crammed in by Kelce and Topper.

With the keys to Rafe’s truck in one hand — after his fourth shot you decided to stop a quarter of the way through your own drink to officially take over DD status — and his own hand intertwined in the other, the two of you walked out to the parking lot. It was then that you finally burst, the questions that had been piling on top of each other toppling over almost the second you were far enough away from the country club.

“Oh my god, Rafe—”

“Don’t even say it,” he muttered, but you couldn’t bite back your laughter.

“You had a crush on me!” you exclaimed, giving him a playful shove. “That is so embarrassing!”

He laughed and glanced at you. “How is that embarrassing?

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “it just is. I mean, I didn’t know you constantly talked about me—”

Rafe shook his head again, and it was then that he seemed to realize you two were still holding hands, because he let go to run one through his hair. “They exaggerated. They just like to make fun of me, and now that they have a hot girl to do it in front of, they’re relentless.”

You grinned at him as you came to a stop in front of his truck, leaning against the side of the car in an attempt to mimic him. “You think I’m hot?”

Rafe groaned, but the smile and slight pink tint on his cheeks gave away his amusement. “Just get in the car.”

“Sure, sure,” you relented. You got in on the driver’s side and put on your seatbelt, waiting to start the car until he did the same. “But seriously — this was like, an all-in-one day. You babe’d me, bragged about me, and kissed me. I think we’re definitely ready for tonight.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“I try.” But you backed out of the spot, you couldn’t help but glance at him with a mischievous smile. “Good to know I rocked your world though.”

He put his head in his hands with yet another groan. “I’m never letting you near my friends again.”

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator

obx: @milkiane @lilgoddesshines

series: @aaleksmorozova @everyonesannoyedwithme @sunnysidee-up @onlygetaway @itsalexwin @hanniebee33

[alotsgonnachange]

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 08/24 NXT 08/26 Smackdown 08/28 Payback 08/30

Raw:

Sarah Schreiber is rude af confirmed.

Nia is funny, idc.

Shayna Baszler is rude af confirmed.

“Addams family reject” kekekek bYE

If Sasha had magical abilities, Bayley would’ve burst into flames upon making her entrance into the arena, and by the look on Bayley’s face, she fucking knows it too.

This entire entrance is insanely tense. Sasha is the epitome of “going through the motions”

Hi why are they having a rematch and why is it a lumberjack match? I’ll be patient, I’ll be patient.

I already love the dynamic between Shayna and Nia.

Bayley telling Shayna to regrab her wrist. Peeped that.

Oh my GOD I prayed to the fucking tides I’d never see Bayley’s “around the world” bs move again, plz. PLZ. Ultimate troll. Negative 15 points for annoying me; plus 15 points for actually annoying me.

Bayley and Shayna still have great chemistry. We are not surprised.

Damn Shayna flipping Nia over. POINTS.

I really like Nia’s hair btw.

Shayna still rude af confirmed.

Love. This. All of this.

Bianca has a lot going for her, I just wish she didn’t telegraph her moves so much. She’s a work in progress. I’m sure in 2 years with some practice, she’ll be a top woman. Shame there’s no live events, she’s one that would really benefit from them.

I like how Lana and Natalya always match. Cute points.

“We tried to elevate [Mickie] we tried to make her relevant on TikTok,” pppffffttttttttt

kekekek black screen. Let’s see if they actually continue to use Mickie. [X] to doubt.

So the point of the lumberjack match is to keep Bayley out. That’s fair. Could’ve just banned her from ringside, but alright.

Wow some awful fucking lumberjacks. Fuse a damn spine guys.

Lol Sasha took out the Riott Squad. Honestly, fair, there’s a DEEP history there.

Lana is a great comical character. She has a niche.

Nice bounce on that Frog Splash. Still doesn’t get it straight enough.

Well I guess I’ll never know what the fuck Shayna was going for there, but alright. Sasha loses, as Sasha does (again I’m kidding I know how this ends). Anyway.

Highlight: Nia & Shayna being Nia & Shayna together

---

NXT:

*Candice discusses her history with Tegan* No.

I like the ongoing gag of Shotzi running Robert over with her tank. Points.

Lots of telegraphing of moves, but Mia and Shotzi work together nicely, all things considered.

Gorgeous suplex

I don’t understand why you’d have Shotzi lose to Indi those few weeks back if you’re gonna give her this big win over Gatekeeper Mia. I understand Mia’s trajectory, just not sure why Shotzi was fed to fucking Indi lmao. Good for Shotzi though. A perfectly serviceable match.

“It’s gonna be a piece of cake because we are actually a team. They are not. They don’t even get along.” Hi Dakota, bitter rivals Becky and Charlotte - who defeated Baysha at Madison Square Garden - just called. They said that don’t mean shit.

Raquel needs to work on her conviction and acting, me thinks.

Peep that Raquel’s focus was on Rhea during the entrance pose, moreso than on Dakota. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s relevant to the future of this R&R feud.

Dakota wins cute points for trying to make herself seem bigger next to Raquel. Also just realized their gear matches. More points.

Lol Rhea just tells Io to get out.

A stalemate after a lockup is certainly a choice.

I can almost respect Raquel’s struggle to be taken down by a Hurricanrana because of her size, but it still looked sloppy *shrug*

Io looks so much better than she did at Takeover.

Really. Tired. Of interferences.

Booking wise I get why they had Rhea take the pin instead of Io, right... Don’t want your face champ to eat a pin in a throwaway match unless it advances something, and Raquel beating Rhea advances their own story. I get it. All I’m saying is in kf, Rhea looks like an idiot. Why save Io and tag herself in when she can barely see straight. She doesn’t even put up a decent effort, just immediately gets pinned lmao. It’s fine, I’m nitpicking.

Fine match, though didn’t quite feel main event caliber. Even though the top 3 women in nxt were in it, it felt hollow stakes-wise.

Highlight: Shotzi running Robert over with her tank

---

Smackdown:

Bayley on a mission to unintentionally obliterate every ounce of confidence Sasha Banks possesses. Sad.

Sasha is obviously done with her shit, yet sticks around cuz this absolute douche is still her best friend. The true loyal one.

“Sasha only carrying the tag team championship,” this is why they bully you, Michael Cole.

The doubt written all over Sasha’s face is a solid touch.

Bayley “what is self awareness” Dos Straps, everyone.

“I should’ve known your history and how you can never successfully defend a raw title,” Y I K E S. Sasha fucking rekt by her own best friend.

She immediately tries to make a pun lmaooo what a tool.

Bayley’s progression in acting over the past year is astonishing.

“Lucky for you, you’re still my best friend.” oop.

“I will get my vengeance,” Bayley just combusted into flames again (in Sasha’s head)

Let me start this off by saying Tamina played her supporting role here perfectly.

Love how the first reactionary change Fiend caused to Alexa was her putting in pigtails -  a hairstyle she hasn’t worn since what, early 2017 on Smackdown??

The way Alexa looked off in a daze after Nikki said her hair reminded her of the Fiend is fucking ace.

The way she snaps out of it is fucking ace.

The way she starts going off on a tangent before smashing the mug is fucking ace.

I’m not claiming Alexa as the greatest actress on the roster, but this particular character contains the perfect layers for Alexa to play, and nobody could play it better. That’s where I’m at with this story.

Points to Nikki as well. Great segment. Couldn’t have been done any better tbh.

Highlight: Alexa slowly drifting into a sea of insanity

---

Payback:

I cannot give enough praise to the attempt to iron out the kinks in the Riott Squad. So impressed that they didn’t just randomly stick them back together and shrug about it.

Nice setup to a Shades of Kay, beautiful.

iiconics are the professional shit stirrers. Perfect team to tell this story with the Riott Squad.

Nice save Liv, nice save. Points for timing.

Double knees into Riott Kick is their finisher, huh? Love it. Good match, points to everyone for showing out on the kickoff.

Love the “Liv 2 Riott” as well. Solid fan of this team, hopefully the tag titles are in their future. Now don’t split them again.

Nia tossing Sasha into Bayley to break up the pinfall is great.

Sasha “ragdoll” Banks, everyone. Took those bumps well... but we’re not surprised.

Sloppy Samoan Drop, but I appreciate Nia using Sasha as a weapon... again lmao.

I’m certain Shayna will never be a flashy wrestler, but I can respect her increase in speed lately.

Fantastic double team by Baysha; Sasha hitting Nia with the Frog Splash as Bayley hits Shayna with a Bayley to Belly. Good showcase of their shock at the kickout as well. A moment of, “wtf do we need to do to win???”

Love the double submission, LOVE using Sasha to tapout Bayley. Sasha “I’m a weapon” Banks, everyone.

Pretty cool that in one year, Shayna has developed a history with all 4hw. Love seeing wwe build her back up after her feud with Becky.

I’ll say it again: Nia is hilarious, idc.

Highlight: Nia celebrating her win

---

*Smackdown shined the brightest for me this week. Despite consisting of a mere 2 segments, they were both extremely powerful and provoked a lot of feelings, thoughts, and conversations.

[achieveandhunt]

live typing extra life 2019

part 2

warning: this was a mistake and i’m in the grapes

this starts right at Facilities vs AH. link to first post

let’s fuck some shit up babEY

oh what the fuck they’re playing a prerecorded video

last year was a fuckin doozy, nobody forget that

“legends of the under achiever” i didn’t know someone wrote my biography

why do i hear geoff screaming “FIVE FUCKIN FOUR” in my head, like in the legends of the hidden temple minecraft videos

jeremy looks. so dead inside on this fine november evening

ryan buzzing while they’re trying to explain the rules

my video quality went down so much that i thought i was watching someone playing roblox for a second

ryan “salty mother fucker” haywood has made a lovely appearance. he’s my favorite

michael and lindsay looking so domestic makes me so happy,, they’re my parents

someone donated under the name “ryan goes feral” uh??? yeah? you say that like it’s a bad thing??

oH FUCK MICHAEL GO DRIVE WIN PLEASE

jeremy HAS BROKEN OUT THE GLASSES SHIT’S SERIOUS

NO THEY’RE LOSING GOD DAMMIT

ʳʸᵃⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵃᶜᵏᵍʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ, ᵠᵘᶦᵉᵗˡʸ: ʰᵉˡᵖ

JEREMY IT’S TIME TO TEST OUT THAT NONEXISTENT GAG REFLEX AND SWALLOW THE OPPONENT’S CONTROLLER

oh nvm they’re winning again lmao

OH FUCK thEYRE LOSING

oh nvm

OH FUCK

oh nvm they unplugged his contoller lol

OH FUCKING TH EY LOST MICHAEL JONES MY HEART IS BROKEN

the amount of people watching has gone up from 32k to 40k in the past fifteen minutes

michael “hurry up you dumb cunts” jones

“oh don’t worry about destroying our cabinet, it’s essentially matchsticks”

“how are you feeling john? are you ready for this?” “MM M M Mmm mM”

TEAM NICE DYNAMITE IS NEXT AND IM READY FOR PERMANENTLY RINGING EARS FROM ALL THE LEET DONATIONS

oH god here we go

“hopefully they haven’t been saving them all day” oh honey. you’ve got a big storm coming

if xavier slaps gavin i think gav might go up in a puff of smoke

i did the math, they went up 45k+ within five minutes of team nice dynamite showing up on stream

GAVIN AND MICHAEL ARE GOING TO DIE

THERE’S GONNA BE A MOONBALL SIZED HOLE IN GAVIN’S CHEST

ryan and lindsay both donating a grand during this segment... so good

the day gavin free successfully gets a tattoo is the day i drop dead

lindsay saying she didn’t want the TND tattoo on michael but she agreed because gav is michael’s boi :((( 

i’m too sleep deprived for this i might cry

oh god michael’s punching the floor

i’m too sober for this

EIGHTY EIGHT LEET DONATIONS IN TWENTY MINUTES HOLY FUCJKIGN SHIT YOU GUYS ARE GONNA BE THROWING MOONBALLS FOR FUCKIN SIX YEARS

on a sentimental note- i love how much collective love we have for gav and michael,, they deserve it all

milk boarded has some not-so-great connotations attached to it

gavin “the bullshit bitch” free

a mark nutt reference?? in my 2019 extra life????

this just in: sarah is going to obliterate gavin

oh. oh my god. that was the sound of a wet fish smacking a wall

why is jeremy the liquor goblin walking like a crab that has a bird attached to its back??? see: flapping arms

that beer and milk concoction... gag

“drink that milk yard”

“YOU GOT MY TOES MILKY”

no. nO MICHAEL NO YOUR INTESTINES NOO

michael “the milk’s in my brain” jones

“stop pouring it on people!” “iT’S HARD DICKHEAD”

lindsay is now. taking a milk shower

*caiti brings a small roll of paper towels* *gavin gently places a single paper towel on the massive puddle of milk*

no LINDSAY NO THINK OF THE CHILDREN

gavin: this has gotten way out of hand. she’s... she’s swimming in an inch of milk! everyone knows you should swim in at least two!!

the fajita seasoning will solve everythinG everyone calm down

fiona: yeah this is my first extra life. jack: and what were you expecting? fiona: this. exactly this.

ah yes. the bunny suits have arrived and michael is ready to tackle gavin

aaaand here comes the AH fanfic. it can only get worse from here so buckle up fuckos

“holy fuckeroni”

“re-reanimated trevor”

michael is so fucking smashed and god i wish that was me

“cum-ductor”

fiona “this is a white man” nova

“bone-ating” *leet donation* *leet donation* 

“ready set blow” made me genuinely bust a lung laughing

aaaand michael’s licking the floor which is to be expected

jeremy “i’m gonna actually harm you” dooley

IF ONE MORE PERSON BRINGS UP RANCH IM GOING TO WALK TO AUSTIN AND PROJECTILE VOMIT ON THE OFF TOPIC SET

no JEREMY NO YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN’T DO THIS GET OFF THE F  L O O R

don’t get close ups on jeremy’s tongue. don’t do that to me. i don’t want nightmares

“fuck root” “let’s just fucking fuck”

1 2 3 CONSENT

michael has gone full gerkie

alfredo’s look when larry is reading the part about trevor choking him is how i feel about everything that’s happened in the past twenty minutes

almost 300k in less than an hour 

fiona saying “i don’t want this” overlaying michael humping a trash can

“TAKE THE TACO CHAD”

aaaand michael’s in the trash can

nO why is there a triangle is this a POETRY READING ALL OF A SUDDEN

oh thank god it’s over

OH FUCK THERE’S A N EPILOGUE

aaand trevor’s dead again. poor treyco

DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS DUSK BOYS EVERYONE PUT A CUP IN YOUR PANTS

people singing along... what goes on

why am i downloading this fuckin song asap

jeremy turning his phone flashlight on and waving it like he’s at a concert god dammit i love these people so much

those are my BOYS

oh my gosh they’re still singing the song. why is my heart so happy from this i need to get slapped

“come on you’ve never been waterboarded before gavin?”

everyone standing in a circle shining their flashlights at gavin

someone surprise them and instead of a moonball just yeet a whole gallon of milk at them

actually, on second thought, no

OH god GavIN Is GOING to Die 

gavin “i forgot to breathe” free

several milk explosions

gavin “my brain is cold” free

michael has milk dripping from his ears

i’m about to pass out i don’t know what’s happening

michael is in the grapes right now man

how many moonballs? oh, only 107. :)

i’m not writing this part- you guys have to watch the moonball segment yourself, if you didn’t watch it live!

team nice dynamite finishes up with over 300k!! holy shit, that’s so cool! this community is awesome

werewolf is up next!

xavier is such a gentleman can we keep him

alfredo: *chooses to kill miles* trevor in the audience: *silently freaking out*

xavier is about ruin another man on stream

miles has no self preservation instinct

barbara is now smelling fiona

this just in: i love alfredo and 100% would have done the same thing

trevor running up to film alfredo getting smacked. what an icon

alfredo SCREAMING oh my god i felt it in my soul

the high-five of the backs in solidarity of intense pain

miles choosing alfredo is so fucking good

and also, i feel so bad 

his heart might shoot out of his asshole this time guys

oh NOOO HE’s so bruised :(((( fredo nooo :((

oh my god it’s gotten to the usual point in the stream where you start to question whether someone is going to die this time

rip blaine but at least i think he can take the hit

he can but ouch it still hurts me 

barbara “i’m participating in the game” dunkleman

yo miles might win this game

the crowd when someone needs to shoot barb: TREVOR TREVOR TREVOR! trevor, with the strength of a thousand suns: N O

people are now chanting about shooting an unprotected trevor. the man already died once this stream god dammit

alfredo is about to throw hands for fiona

that’s a big F in the chat for miles, but his loss is well deserved

xavier’s hands could serve as a defibrillator

alfredo showed jeremy his chest and jeremy shied away as if he was looking at the sun

 --- i’m taking another break to finish an assignment---

i’m barely alive and it’s ready set show time 

oh god please no more shock collars

i’m so fucking tiiiiredd please take thge res t of this post  wigth  a grain of salt lbecasue i can hardly type at this ponitn 

“do you want to control the shock collars” “will there be repercussions” “no” “fuck yeah i’ll do it then”

“smother the children. steal the baby” “DONT STEAL THE BABY TREVOR”

lunging forward “s c a r e  t h e  b a b y” “OKAY I’M PASSING THIS ONE”

“you can’t bake popcorn????” jeremy hits the floor

alec and matt clearly = dream team

oh thasnk god the shock collars are on their arms now i was stressed out for chris earlier

this stream does not promote recreational nyquil usage 

i don’t even know how to explain the pure insanity of what ready set show has become

alec has become this whole segment

i would write more but i have no thoughts because my brain doesn’t work

larry “makes people fuck other people besides their wife” insert last name that my brain can’t come up with

anyways. marbles

oh. no marbles

i’ve blacked out idk what happened during backwardz compatible

i mean i was awake but does that really mean anything at this point

SPPOKU PSOOKY SPPOKKKY SPOOOKY !!! FUCL YEAH 

cole is so good during this segment

oh so many 1337s right away 

the real scariest thing during the segment: being genuine

oH my god the scream being pitched up. i have fucking dogs outside of my house now

i don’t fuck w/ ghosts no thank you

“aba-jail” wow if u guys weren’t gonna get haunted before you will now

okay i’m about to pass out i have to take a nap

oH fucking I SLEPT until thirty minutes before the en d  fuck

conclusion: this community is incredible and raised an unimaginable amount of money for charity. the fact that rooster teeth does this every year is awesome, and honestly, it makes me feel hopeful in times when things aren’t so great. so yeah! for the kids & stuff 

[ts-2020-olympics]

Episode 6 - “The Level of Disgust I Have” - Karen

so i flopped in the arena.. but i do be staying sitting pretty considering the fact that i’ve survived every tribal with no votes even when my name is brought up! so cheers to that 

So I've just blown up the entire Miraitowa chat exposing Nicole and Jacob C as fantastic liars, yet Sammy doesnt have enough sense in his head to make his own decisions and go with the more trustworthy people. Honestly pray for a swap because this tribe is a fucking mess and the returnees are just picking off all the newbies, making this season boring as shit.

So, that boring ass alliance of 4 with Eve on the bottom probably wont break up for anything. That sucks, but I still have my extra vote. If Landen can win immunity, they'll all want to vote Eve, so then I can reveal to Eve and Landen I have an extra vote. Then we all vote together and make those bitches go to rocks and make this shit actually entertaining.

I honestly feel two things 1) I’m a fool and 2) I’m leaving this round. I just feel like it’s my time and it just sucks because I got played into doing all the dirty work for a bunch of stinky little men. So here’s the lowdown of what happened: I explained in my last confessional that we voted out Pete and that I felt like I was going to get fucked over because I was doing all the talking! Well. Essentially that. Basically when Pete came back there was a lot of information spilled and I was left to try to tell the truth without telling the whole truth (which was that we built this tribe to kill the newbies off which NOW IM NOT EVEN SURE IS TRUE.) So Landen tells us that Juls told Sammy and Jacob about her power, not just TOLD SAMMY AND JACOB. Offered to use her power on Jacob and Sammy. And they said NO and let it be used on Landen, essentially putting Kevin in the hot seat. So I’m kind of mad. I think I’m leaving this round like I just feel it in my gut but, maybe not. Who knows, who cares, I’m tired. 

Counting helped at my grandma's place to unwind. Not hearing boring, inane tripe from Darcy also helps. He's boring. I hate boring people. Also he voted for me, so why trust him? 

So I found out Eve left me for dead as well and she flips to them for no reason instead of talking to the person she’s been with since day 1. At the start i told her i’m watching her back for her and I’ve done that, now that I try talking to her out of fear for her safety, she doesn’t care to talk. It’s okay though that’s the game, it’s good that I know that now though so i don’t waste my extra vote lol

First off, I once again had no luck in the Olympic Village, nothing in the pool, so if something was there, someone else must have found the things already.  Secondly, a trio was formed between Tommy, Beck and I, where I already told both of them that I wanted to go to merge with them both, and that is 100% the truth, I trust those two the most on my tribe at the moment, and been having the best talks with them both in this game so far on my tribe.   So I would love making merge with the two of them.   Thirdly, I won individual immunity, which I actually think this is my first time winning individual immunity in an org, so am grateful to achieve that goal, although I didn't have to go all out to the 10k mark lmao.   Also, from what I got told from Tommy, Ben wanted to get me out if I had lost this immunity, so being safe feels that much greater, and I want Ben out now moment he isn't immune.  Plus had Ben call me a no lifer in the main chat after results got posted, so of course, I had to try to defend myself somewhat, as I'm not going to stand around and get claimed a no lifer, even though it is partially the truth due to being unemployed, but I do hang out with friends and stuff.  Anyways, Ben did apologize shortly afterwards for his words, which I appreciate the apology, but that doesn't change the fact that I want him out asap, since well he wants me out.   In terms of this vote though, if everything goes good, I think it will be Juls getting the boot, but we shall see what happens.  I am safe for this round, and made final 17, so no matter what I am safe, just hopefully my allies in Tommy and Beck can both survive this vote as well.

I think we've come to the end of the road for me, which sucks. I really don't want to lose this game, especially so early. I hate big casts, truly. Anyway, either way this night is gonna fuck me over. Two things could be happening tonight: 1) I get rid of Jacob and then Kevin is mad at me, Sammy is mad I got rid of Jacob, I sever my ties with Beck and Juls, I have to rely on my returnee ties and new newbie ties but, the new newbies don't like me either. So I'd essentially be screwed, but I've already promised it. 2) We get rid of Eve, and I lie to Eve, AGAIN. Which I really don't want to do. Although she's a little bit of a wishy washy woman, I don't want to betray Eve's trust because she's actually so sweet, and I'd value a friendship with her going forward in this game. I think I normally succeed in games where I can cultivate genuine friendships and feel like I truly have someone to rely on. I think I'm seeing that more and more with Kevin and Karen, but I don't know if that's 100% genuine either. Either way I'm not winning this game, so if I lose tonight I'll just reduce it down to I played too big too fast and I'll know better for next time around. Being the first winner out would really suck. But, I don't know. I'm just kind of nervous I ruined my game for people who don't care if I go and that's probably the worst feeling (and I'd know, seeing as I have gotten 0 votes at FTC, two times!) Anyway, I'll check back in later if we do come up with a plan that doesn't make me feel like utter shit, which is not likely at this point in time.

Y’all lemme tell you, Miraitowa is a fuckin mess fuck this tribe i can’t wait for the swap lmao. Okay so basically the voting block that took me out exploded and is eating itself. Jacob C and Nicole are telling the exact same story except they’re accusing the other person of creating the alliance and voting me. Honestly idc it was probably a team effort between the both of them, i’m trying to have the vote end up as the worst case possible for that alliance so it officially never reconnects. Here’s how it breaks down: Jacob C, Sammy, and Eve are all trying to get Nicole out. Nicole is trying to get Jacob C out. Kevin is a fuckin wild card, I thought he’d be with Nicole but who the fuck knows man. If Landen and I let Nicole go, we’d still be on the bottom of the same alliance minus Nicole so right now we need to confirm that Kevin is voting with Nicole and we can break apart some of Jacob’s connections. 

Oh my god a triple tribal council. Y'all can't give us a break?!?!?! This season is going to have the most tribal council I swear. This is at least an opportunity to get out Juls, who I think will be my biggest threat if I let her slip past this vote because she's dangerous and able to get along with so many people. This twist I think will prove to be a good way to get Juls out because she has to face two people and unless the other tribe puts total duds in terms of challenge competition she will go home if sent to the arena. As part of strategy when Ben told me he was coming for Darcy, I told Darcy right before he won immunity that Ben was after him but I said I heard it from Karen. This way it shows that Karen is willing to keep Darcy but it gives me more trust with Darcy than Karen because I was the one who told Darcy. We had a call Darcy, Beck, and Myself and finally made a trio alliance which I think will benefit me at certain points in the game because they may have really good potential to draw in people to work with. I think I convinced them I can draw in Karen as a makeshift fourth for our group to have a majority. However, I trust Karen for now in the long scheme I think I will just maintain a good standing with her but not tell them as much. As for now I'm just down with this plan Myself, Beck, Darcy, and Karen are going for to blindside Juls and hopefully my plan to get rid of Juls pans out and we are able to officially eliminate her. If we go to tribal again Ben makes an easy next boot, this keeps the 4 people I'm closest to on the tribe on the tribe as long as possible (Karen, Beck, Darcy, and Caeleb.) The only problems I see if Juls goes is that either she wins a Gold medal and/or Caeleb loses trust which both have a chance of happening but I think this risk will be worth the reward. It's a high risk high reward situation.    

People are quiet, and I hope it's because of inactivity Jordan and Emma seem fine with voting Sarah, and that should be all needed. Chris isn't responding but I don't think he's around. Sarah hasn't even read my message today lol

honestly at this point my tribe is a disaster and i feel like the prince, just sitting on my throne with immunity and looking down with a horrified gaze like... what the FUCK is happening... y'all-. Ever since when I was first blindsided by seeing Pete leave everything went insane. Sammy called for damage control, it was all obvious bullshit. i won the medal at the arena, thank the lord, i did intentionally volunteer knowing i NEEDED that bonus, but thank god i got it for individual immunity instead! i was able to *ahem* secure the bag, and i did that while also going as hard as i can with my social manipulation skills. everyone thought i was just some newbie or some quiet anxious guy that doesn't know how to crack the premade and will never be able to put up a fight but they were wrong. They should not have underestimated me because I was able to expose the lies they told themselves and each-other. In all their efforts to outplay one another, they ended up soiling their own defeat. i told nicole about how sammy/jacob omitted the information about juls' power, and i continuously threatened everyone through jokes to remind them 'I'm still counting, and I've been counting for 24 hours. I'm going to win immunity, and you'll have to turn on eachother.' this madness led to nicole throwing sammy/jacob under the bus right before challenge ended, and of course, they returned the favor. This has led to a paranoia induced voting period where honestly, i still don't even know what's happening. it's very likely the tribal is LIVE tonight. the fear and stress comes in in that i really don't want to lie to sammy after the conversations we had, i really want to be truthful with him. but thinking about my individual game, keeping Jacob C and Eve in just makes no sense. They both have no interest in working with me long term and they both are connected with a ton of people that I want to have loyalty to. Getting rid of them frees up Caeleb and Juls a little bit for me, so I would really like to take them down. But working with Nicole, Kevin, and Pete is going to put me in a tight spot where Sammy is furious, potentially with an idol, and feels like I was a hypocrite with him. That's going to be really hard. But Eve and Jacob are just. VERY bad for my game. They both limit my working relationships with other people a ton. They both make this game.. quite difficult to navigate for me. And they both have zero interest in working with me. It's hard to play Sammy like this, I am gonna feel awful for this. But, you gotta do what you gotta do, and with a swap possibly coming soon... This is what I gotta do. It's shark week (thanks Kevin) and blood is about to get shed. 

Hello I hate these hosts......all tribes going to tribal??????? The level of disgust I have .... so Ben returned after being voted kmssss I know mans will be gunning for me ugh I wish I won immunity but like Darcy fuckn snapped fhdgggg. So with this tribal coming up Darcy wants to take out juls, with me tommy and becks voting together. The only person I’m if-y on is becks atm bc becks is close to juls allegedly. Also caeleb and Juls haven’t been spoken to all day which is like yikes bc that could mean they’d vote for me, i think may I could throw becks under the bus just in case. Slim picking that’s for sure ugh why is the game like this. Also I’ve been talking to nicole and kev and they seem to be struggling on their tribe & hope neither go bc then I’d have to keep working with tommy lol /:. Also I’ve been told juls is the one who exiled Landon so 👀👀👀👀👀thats so suspect!!!!! Juls & becks seem kinda shady to me so I’m gonna have to monitor them. Ugh I hope I’m not getting played tonight or else it might just be bye bye Karen 

I’m in a peculiar position. I don’t want Eve to go, Jacob C is way bigger a threat to me but we have to keep nicole and that group is set on Eve....... god i’m hoping we’re right. 

hello confessional! i'm an awful person and this is the third time in an org that i've fucked over juls somehow and i feel terrible about it. unfortunately with the new alliance that tommy made for us voting out anyone else besides caeleb or juls was not an option and caeleb is rly good at challenges so.... but yeah! tonight fucking sucked. kinda hope juls comes back but i also don't bc she will be out for my blood and you know what? i deserve it

Nicole’s gone, I’m happy about it, it’s what she deserves truely. Over this stupid fucking tribe, CHOKE all of you

I feel really bad about this vote. I new Jacob was going home, but I had to vote with him to make sure that he’ll still be on my side if he comes back from arena. 

The game is getting spicy. This is my confession 👀

WELLLLLLLL babes basically this round started out with landen and pete coming back and trying to yell at the four from the previous majority, after we lied to their faces and then they did not take it well. After all the fighting was said and done we all got to counting and by all i mean me and landen, whom beat me thanks to his silver medal. Even though i counted higher, but alas the past is in the past. After that the game really got going cause we had to go to TRIBAL !!! which fucking sucked because we basically only had 1 option for our "alliance" which was eve, i started talking to the 2 safe bois to see where they were at and the didnt like eve or had some issues with eve, so i thought we could capitalize on that and just unan it on eve, but when i woke up that was simply NOT AN OPTION because the night before nicole had said jacobs name to nicole, without informing the alliance nor jacob personally what she said. This was followed by eve telling jacob immediately after what was said which lead jacob to distrust nicole which in turn made sammy distrust nicole, waking up in the middle of this was not ideal because i had no way to prevent it so i had to work with the situation as best as possible. After talking to everyone on the tribe it literally seemed to be a vote between jacob and nicole with no wiggle room. However as the day moved on i wanted to try and sneak eves name into the mix, after talking to pete and landen some who both confessed they wanted to work with me i pitched to them that potentially voting Eve and then keeping Nicole and Jacob mad at each other for future rounds to cover us, to which they seemed to take well to but werent very eager to do right away. After that i had to reel nicole in and get her to send her vote to Eve which worked until we found out that Sammy has an idol !!! Which he could use on himself orrrrrr EVE, so basically we had to tread carefully after this point and we had to lie to Sammy, pete/landen said they were doing nicole and nicole said she was doing sammy himself, i didnt lie i said i felt like eve was my only option and i worked with that, but still people did lie to him, and I tried to plant seeds in his head to play the idol on himself cause potentially he could save eve, but i wanted him to worry about himself first. After all the drama there was the calm before the storm.. and then the storm hit hard as fuck. We had a plan and a majority until minutes before tribal when nicole told jacob we were voting eve to keep him in the loop and probably turn him off of her, which he was fine with! But landen and pete felt betrayed that nicole would disclose our information to someone else, so when they heard that they scrambled and Pete wanted us to flip onto Jacob, while Landen coincidentallyyy voted for Nicole, which ultimately resulted in a 3-3-1, i tried to flip sammy or pete to keep nicole but to avail ... rip nicole. After tribal eve was obviously mad about getting votes, Sammy was mad about getting lied to and Landen and Pete were proven flakes, i did my best to save face and keep my ducks in a row with sammy, pete, and landen but only time will tell if i did a good enough job. As for the rest of the game i really hope that nicole comes back because she was, surprisingly, my closest ally in this game and i need her as a shield. But im sad that juls got out and while I want her to come back too i would prefer nicole, for game purposes but i would be just as happy to see juls return if she can pull it off. Welp, good luck charlie.

So I got voted out. I think I’m good with it though. I’m very much “whatever happens happens” at this point, because in my opinion I think I’m done with this game. There’s a lot of factors that I just don’t like about it, and that’s not saying anything about the hosts because I love Monty and Gage, I think I’ve spoken about this before in other games I’ve been in but I really can’t play games where you spend 24 hours sitting around. It hinders me so bad to just be sitting, not doing a challenge or anything, especially with 25 people around, it’s hell. There are a lot of things that annoy me in this game. One being that the newbies are like...mean as fuck lol. Like they just come in guns blazing and really don’t care what they say to other people, or they’re just dead and no help at all. Eve was honestly a nasty brat, and I’m just calling it how I saw it. She demanded trust, and that’s not a good way to get people to actually trust you. She came up with a majority of five people, she assumed I’d vote out Kevin, and yes I lied a little (bc it’s survivor) but you’d think I literally had been working with her since Day One and stabbed her in the back. We had maybe 24 hours of conversation. If I lied to Kevin, I’d feel terrible. You think I feel bad lying to someone I only talked to once who planted a five person majority without my main ally in it? Like, for real? It makes no sense. Landen doesn’t like lying either like....alright go do you homework and stop playing survivor then. DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE? And the funny thing is, all of these people lied to me. Eve went behind my back. Jacob sent screenshots (which is cheating but somehow I’m here and he’s not) to Sammy. Sammy literally didn’t tell me he had an advantage and told me he didn’t know about Juls advantage. Landen Said he voted Jacob. Pete said he didn’t know the plan. Kevin, I’m hoping he was honest because he’s the only reason I’m happy I played this game. Kevin is SO nice and so genuine, I hope it’s not an act for the game but I know I put him THROUGH IT this round so I’m contemplating just giving up, for his sake, because if I come back it’s likely gonna be..a bit of a mess for him. I know I might need to come back to save Kevin and Jacob, moreso Kevin bc Jacob can go kick rocks. Anyway back to Sammy for a second. I’ve always seen Sammy as this nice little man who is so kind, but I REALLY saw an ugly side of him this round. Like, I don’t think I’ll ever see him the same again. I hope he loses to literally anyone. I don’t think he deserves to win and out of everyone I’m most mad at him. He’s a hypocrite who can make you feel bad you lied to protect yourself from him because he lied to you first, and sure that helps in Survivor but that’s downright ugly and I don’t respect that at all. He lied to me CONTINUOUSLY throughout the day, leaking every word I said to Eve. Only to be mad at me because I lied to him...to misdirect his idol? TO MISDIRECT HIS IDOL HE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME ABOUT BECAUSE HE DIDNT TRUST ME. And for him to try to pull an apology out from me and make me feel bad...sit down. Nobody makes me feel bad or can twist my emotions like that so, nice try. And in such an obvious and public manner like...who taught you to be the way you are lmao. That’s so rude. I hope he loses is the point. Honestly I’m kind of like over playing and I know juls really has a fire in her heart to continue playing with these god awful people who have snaked us. She’s a little queen and I hope she wins it if I can’t, because she deserves to! My plan is to just hold on until Jacob drops (assuming it’s pressure cooker) and then decide there if I want to go in or not. I also want to put out a disclaimer that I’m ranting about everyone else bc I’m mad but I know I fucked up, too. I lied way too much for unecessary reasons that seemed necessary at the time with advantages in play. I trusted people based on personal knowledge of their heart and how kind they are, which was wrong. Jacob and Sammy both showed me their ugly sides, and I showed mine as well so I mean I’m not going to sit here and act innocent. I can see EACH mistake I made and how I could have played better. I hope Sammy and Jacob both get premerge, hope Landen gets yeeted into the sun, or a lesson in manners bc lord knows he doesn’t have any and just wants to be that That Iconic Newbie that newsflash nobody wants to cast again, and I hope juls prospers if I fail at the arena challenge. Manifest manifest manifest. I literally feel like in my brain there is no possible way I’m going to be back in this game and if I do come back, I’m just going to get voted out again. So it’s a hard choice deciding if I want to or not. I promised Juls I’d outlast Jacob B but after that, I’m not sure. I feel like I don’t even have it in me, because if I really saw a chance at winning. I just feel like I’ve made a fool of myself and let men make a fool out of me, and it’s time to go home, rest, recuperate and come back to kick ass another day. 

So we had a live tribal last night and everything is a MESS now! It's my birthday and so I'm trying to stay in a good mood and not think about the game, but honestly, stuff is pretty stressful. My plan WAS to take out Eve the whole time, I was fully on board with it and I do believe it was the right move for me at the time. Unfortunately Nicole decided to go insane and blow up the entire plan by telling Jacob and having everything blow up at tribal council which is just... ugh. It made it clear she was trying to rebuild the majority and force the power structure back in place, so that's why I had to make sure she went home. She showed unreliability and a willingness to turn that I couldn't have in the game, that's the whole reason I wanted to take out Eve. Because I need allies in this game who will work with me and who have interest in working with ME. Nicole seemed like she could be a useful person in the game, but as soon as her fight with Jacob ended and they started to try and take control again, it was too late. I had to get rid of her. Sadly she'll probably come back from the arena and that's going to make things... Messy. It's going to become a game of who can use Sammy the best, and I just hope I can win that game. But I've told him too many lies and that comes off hypocritical. It sucks because I feel guilty about it, AND hopeless in the game. But I dunno. We'll just have to see. Not to mention I lost Juls somehow, and EVERYONE seems to be shocked that she was voted out. That is not good for my game at all as she was somebody I was really relying on and also I just love her. So losing her absolutely sucks. I'm really hoping she can come back from the Arena. The game is turning into a downward spiral for me and fast. People are predicting a swap, and at that point, it's the best I can hope for. I got Eve with me now on the brightside, and I know I could reel in Caeleb, Jordan, probably even Ben.... Things are getting very bloody very quickly in a game as competitive as this one, and I just pray I can wind up on the right side of things with a swap. Being on the bottom this time was deadly and detrimental to my game - I have played extremely hard, cutthroat, fierce, and overall just like.. WELL. Not to toot my own horn but I have played VERY good on both Sonkei and Miraitowa, and there's a lot on my resume for if I do manage to make it to the end. But if I keep just giving everything 120% and making these power moves and making enemies and such as I go, I'll have no chance. I really need a stage in the game where I can sit back and kind of just relax and be this UTR force, that people aren't taking so much notice of. Form more social bonds. Also, fuck the olympic idol hunt or whatever. I suck at it but other people have gotten so many advantages. EEP!

I was about to be super proud of the fact that this was the earliest I made a confessional in a round all game, just to realize its still only 5 hours before the deadline so like is that even good? long story short I had to fuck over jacob this round which sucked cause i loved jacob but we went to too many tribals and like... im running out of options. I made a new alliance of me emma stoner and sarah which like lowkey is a good call because we have one person from 4/5 starting tribes we are as well connected to each other as we can be right now. I need us to swap not cause I would go home, I genuinly think if we kept losing I could get down on this tribe to just me and one more person if needed but like... can we not I'm so tired. Bring on the swap, i need new people to manipulate!

[grandmas-against-old-man-onion]

Allie needs a fkn nap

@AllieLoveskaz

So here's some tea y'all can choose to sip or not. An Onion Thread.

On multiple occasions I would get snapchats from his husband crying because he was SCREAMING at him. In front of their children. I would send money to Onion's husband so that he could go to Starbucks or something, take the kids with him to get out of the house.

On multiple occasions Onion's husband would send me Snapchats with a young friend of which we are all familiar {Sarah, I assume}, when that friend was (according to Onion)in a different state.

Though Onions husband never really showed an interest in me, onion suggested at multiple occasions i come visit them and “hang out” or cook for them.

Even after blocking me Twitter, onion continues to message me at least bi-weekly on patreon. Onions spouse has talked to me on multiple occasions about him screaming at and belittling him, often call him stupid, a bitch, or a “dumb cunt”

Onions spouse still has feelings for his ex, and has on more than one occasions expressed desire to be at least friends with her, but unable to reconnect due to Onions residual hostility.

Onions spouse wants a girlfriend. Wants a relationship. Every time onion becomes hostile and attacks the potential. Onion becomes insanely jealous, and so begins the verbal abuse.

Onion will attack his spouse’s parental skills, call him a shit mother or lazy, and use the children as bartering chips in arguments.

Onion refuses to clean up after himself, the children, or his animals, leaving his Spouse alone to do it all.

And now: for the personal conspiracy theory:

Is it just me? Or is it INSANE that Onions spouse changed their name to Kai? Just like my BEST friend? Who’s name I used in my users?? Hmmm.

If his Spouse changes their name is Kaz/kastiel I’m gonna fuckin lose it.

Also the unicorn necklace thing???? That his Spouse gave me? Google unicorn in poly relationships. Maybe I’m nitpicking tho idk

If y’all need corroboration: @SpazSpahetti @theyKaz and @ohthatnikita have all vitnessed this shit.

Here’s the spoiled milky for y’all farmers in the chat.

[Snapchat]

Lainbae: I got anothe . complaint too I don’t even know who that is or where they came from but I’ll band

Lainbae: ban

Allie: Okay thank you. I just want everyone to be safe.

NOVEMBER 27TH, 2017

Allie: Hey are you Okay?

Allie: I’m sorry sweetheart. It’s not your fault AT ALL.

Allie: I love you and support you.

Allie: You are valued and important.

Allie: https://youtu.be/9l8ldxyJaUA (video has since been deleted)

Allie: [screenshot]

Screenshot, twiiter i think:

Group name “Bitch Lasagna, ♡ Rose ♡

Allie (presumably): Like I will legit pull my pledge and give it right on over to Lainey think I’m playing

Bitch Lasagna: I will too. I fucking love Lainey. Some-times I wonder if their relationship with Greg is worse ten they both say it is. Him attacking them like this proves it a bit.

[Snapchat]

Allie: We support you babe. No matter what.

Allie: Hey, can I send you like 20$ here and you can get out of the house and go get Starbucks or something?

Lainbae: Got kids dude

Lainbae: But either way I can’t take your money like hat

Lainbae: That

Allie: Yes you can sweetie cuz I want you to

Lainbae: No it’s ok

Allie: Besides I’m doing really well on patreon rn

Allie: You can take the little ones with you?

Lainbae: They’re in bed

Allie: Or leave them with Greg to just chill on your own for a minute.

Lainbae: Nah I don’t want to leave them with him

Allie: He’s they’re dad honey he can be responsible for sleeping ones

Allie: You should call a friend or your grandma or something.

Lainbae: Don’t got none lol

Lainbae: I’ll be fine it’s not like I haven’t dealt with this before

Allie: Call maxie or Sarah?

Allie: Yeah but he said you were crying

Allie: I’m so sorry

Lainbae: Used to it I guess

Part One of Two

[throne-of-no]

Rin Reads & Rants about: Catwoman: Soulstealer - Chapter 2

We finally get to the butchering of other comic book characters! Yay! I’m not ready, but here we go!

So, if you remember last chapter, it ended with the cops banging on their door. So, this one starts with the two sisters panicking about what to do. It is finally decided that Selina should hide in the closest because she’s covered with bruises and that would only make the cops raise their eyebrows and stuff. So, Selina does.

Turns out that there is also a social worker with the cops that Selina didn’t see when she had hobbled over to the door. The social worker manages to force Maggie to let her into the apartment, just as Selina is attempting to free herself from the closest. She finally stumbles into the main area.

           “They all looked at her, the cop’s eyes narrowing as they beheld the bruises, the woman’s face tightening in disapproval”

           Disapproval of her awkward entrance or of the bruises?

           It is revealed that their mom is down at the precident and is in bad shape. In bad shape from what? Well, I’m unsure. Did she have an overdoes or is she just hella drunk? Idk the lady doesn’t tell us.

           “ ‘You’re not in good shape, either,’ the woman added.

            ‘I’m fine. Just fell down the stairs yesterday.’ (Selina said).”

           Oh, Selina, if you knew anything you would know in a situation like this, a social worker would take your lame lie as a grain of salt because abused kids lie all the time about what’s really happening. My cousins were abused by their father for YEARS and we didn’t even know until years later because they would cover it up in fear of what he would do to them. But, alas, okay. You keep using the lame “I fell down the stairs” Excuse for your beat up state.

           So then Selina debates about going to get the one grand of money she had stashed under the kitchen sink to pay the cops off…but I thought they didn’t have five hundred dollars to pay for the medical bills for Maggie? I mean, what is logic though in this book? Idk her.

           It’s too late though because the cop finds the money and pockets it for himself.

           Also, one of the cops calls the two of them “Little girls” Which, uh Selina is three weeks away from being eighteen. Maggie is fourteen, but looks frailer in her condition so that one is correct but Selina? She isn’t…little. But, keep going I guess.

           The social worker then states that Selina has a record with two strikes. Of what you might ask? Well, I sure as hell don’t know because no one says anything, and Selina defends herself by saying that is was from three years ago. Was it prostitution like the original catwoman did? Who even fucking knows. Which, fun Rin Nerd fact: The reason Maggie hates her in the comics is because of the prostitution, which in the comics she’s a nun and goes literally insane as I stated earlier. But, alas, this is nothing like the comics so, moving on!

           The social worker attempts to get Maggie to go with them and Maggie is like “No!” And she attempts to flee out of the apartment. Which…she’s got cystic fibrosis, and from all indication it’s bad. This was not the smartest move. There would be no way she would make it out the door and anywhere without collapsing or something.

           She doesn’t make it far before the one cop grabs Maggie and we get a sentence I burst out laughing out at:

           “Selina exploded.”

           That’s it. Just. Selina exploded. Like, @ sj/m, if you’re going to be dramatic, at least be realistically dramatic. Don’t use the word exploded and think it will sound good and 100% not stupid. “Selina saw red” or something, but not EXPLODED. Good grief on a stick.

           “The dark-haired cop went down first. Uppercut to get his head up, then elbow to the nose put him on the ground. He was unconscious before he hit the carpet.”

           She is able to do all of this while still super injured from her cage fight. Which, yes adrenaline does something to a person, but…it seems pretty out there she’s able to take down a guy a) injured and b) so quickly with just an uppercut and an elbow to the head. Also, is she as tall as this guy? How was she able to jump up and knock him when she could barely stumble to the door to see who was outside like 5 minutes ago? The cop literally called her a little girl so that means she’s much smaller than him. 

           So then Selina fights the other cop and he nearly calls her a bitch but Selina stops him by punching him in the face.

           “Her body sang in agony, wounds ripping open, bruises bleating.”

           Lol @ the bleating bruises. Also, that’s about as much info we get on her injured state while fighting these douches. Adrenalin is a cool thing I guess. Which, you can argue it can, but it never states in the book that like. “Adrenaline shot through her.” Just that the sound of her sister crying out in pain made her explode. So, it made her explode and turn her into a literal superhuman for 2.5 seconds with the ability to knock out one guy who was described as “Thickly built.” So, cool beans.

           So then Selina shoves the woman:

           “Selina shoved the woman. Hard.

           Hard enough that the social worker went careening into the table, chairs scattering.”

           Again, this could have been one sentence. But, whatever. Dramatic and all that.

           In the end the mustache cop ends up tasering her and she blacks out.

           Selina wakes up in a precinct room. Then, a woman comes in and Selina describes her as the following:

           “A tall, slim woman with night-black hair and skin like golden honey entered the room.”

           Which, reading slightly ahead we find out she is Talia al Ghul. I mean, we only are told her first name, but I know who Talia is—she’s an al Ghul. She’s an important character in the Batman series—she’s the mother of Batman’s kid Damian which, like is a whole thing in itself, but I’ll stop there. Her father is Ra al Ghul who is “The Demon’s head” and her mother was part Chinese and Arab. But yes, SJ/M you describe her only with “golden honey skin and nidnight-black hair.” This book is in fucking modern times, you’ve already described THREE girls solely by their ethnicity. But ya can’t describe Talia a little bit better? Really? Reaaalllyyy? Whatever.

           Talia puts down a large file and starts going through it. It’s Selina’s file. She starts flipping through it and the papers “hiss” for some reason. I’m going to start doing a count on how many unnecessary animalistic words are used in this book.

           Oh my fucking goooood Talia’s accent is described as a “some rolling purr.” And I just…I can’t. WE GET IS SARAH YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT FUCKING CATWOMAN.

           Selina doesn’t answer any of the questions Talia keeps asking, and instead, keeps asking her own question of “Where. Is. Maggie.” Which. Lol. Where dat question mark be?

           Selina threatens Talia and Talia questions how she will follow with through the threats being handcuffed and all, and Selia nonchalantly has the cuffs fall off. Turns out she nabbed a paperclip and used it to free herself. How Talia wouldn’t hear this or see Selina doing it boggles my mind but ok.

            Talia just beams and tells her she’s clever and then tells her to put them back on. It was a very weird interaction. Like why wasn’t Selina more surprised that Talia didn’t care that she’d freed herself? Why are you not confused girl???

           Talia then tells her that she has an offer for her:

           “I’ve got chart after chart of your grades. Your exam scores. Do your little kitty-cat friends know you’re top of your class and that you aced all statewide exams?”

           Of fucking course Selina is book smart. She couldn’t just be good at fighting and gymnastics, she also has to be super-duper smart! Also, I thought Selina kept skipping out of school? How is she this smart without going to school and learning? Unless she’s not actually smart and is, in fact, just good at guessing answers.

           Anyway, Talia offers her a place in her super-duper School for Gifted Youngsters....Ah, crap wrong comic book series! Sorry!!! with the offer that Selina’s crime records will vanish. Selina decides that if she would go, then her sister would have to be put into a good home and be looked after and that their mother will never be able to see Maggie again. Turns out Talia wants her so bad, she agrees to this, but says that she will have to leave tonight and not say goodbye to Maggie. Selina takes like 5 seconds of contemplating never seeing saying goodbye to her sister, then agrees which kinda destroys the close relationship Sarah was trying to make between the two sisters. I could have gone for a paragraph of confliction, but whatever.

           So then we fast forward to Selina going onto the plane. We are told her body aches for having to leave, but there isn’t really much of Selina regretting leaving her sister without saying goodbye.

           The chapter ends with Selina asking Talia if she’s Wayne because “Waynes did plenty of charity work”. In which Talia answers with:

           “No. My family name is al Ghul.”

           DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN. Also, Catwoman like never ever was a part of the al Ghul league of Assassins sooooooo…… yeah. The next page says we skip 2 years so I guess we don’t get to watch Salina train or anything.

           I totally forgot to put dash and ellipse count in chapter 1 so this is chapter 1 and 2 put together. Also a count on the use of animalistic words for no good reason.

           Interruptions count: 70

           Animalistic words used for no reason: 6

[mysteriescomeinthrees]

EPISODE 2: Hurricane Jordan Pines is coming - Jordan Pines

girl what the actual fuck was that like.... Eve was ROBBED ok. Absolutely positively robbed! *Sighs* ok here we go Episode 2: Not All Fear Is The Same https://voca.ro/13U2UMQI90Qm

So we lost the puzzle challenge, and I’m so fucking conflicted because we kinda lost due to Coulee’s mistake which gave us penalty points. So I’m caught in this mindset of not wanting Coulee to be punished for that because it was an honest mistake but I also don’t feel good about someone else going home when it was that mistake that made us lose in the first place if that makes sense it just wouldn’t be fair, also I’m working with Coulee because we wanted to avenge Eve and kick ass and this genuinely is just such a bummer. Also y’all I don’t think you understand how like complicated this is because of the trio twist. Because every decision you make and everything you say can reflect on your trio in some aspect. You say something that rubs someone the wrong way it could go back to your trio and fuck one of them over the next time anyone of them isn’t safe. 

ok here’s plan: I will say I got a medallion if asked about the bay and THATS IT. I’m taking all advantages with me and I ain’t telling a soul, not even my trio. Cause these girls talk too much. Then Imma get the tea from Andrew and see what’s happening on green. And then I’m gonna size up the other two groups to see who’s ready for war on Ozarks. Streets say Jabari is still in the sunken place and is still being loyal to Henry but that’s ok. That just means there’s an opening and I’m looking for recruits- any takers 😏

So we of course didnt try our best but it didnt matter thanks to my advantage. On the offside that could mean that eve or another ally could be in dnager, I have made friends with jinx and henry right away and am trying to win my tribe over despite the whole amount of issues roxy brings. I love her to death but she made enemies way too early in the game especially in the way this game is formatted. only the the social survive 👑

Coulee is in danger for really messing up the challenge and even though normally that would be a plausible way to go I can't afford this like literally I worked to hard ve doing this all by myself and alone. Currently I'm doing everything in my power to make sure coulee stays and we get another day.

going back to my my montenegro roots and submitting one sentence confessionals as a bare minimum. anyways eve baby you will be avenged white women are wild

  also if coulee goes home today truly y'all are gonna see a bitch on a war path.

if i decide to wake up.

I feel like I’m gonna get first boot on my tribe after the stunt that Sarah pulled cause she voted out Eve whom is jabaris friend, whom is my tight tight ally on this tribe. But we won the challenge so it’s fine. I got a vote expose advantage last cycle I forgot to mention! Roxy has told me that Sarah and bodhi are her nemises and those are like my two closest allies and she knows that like wtf.

I 1000% tell Andrew too much and it's 100% because I'm just used to talking to him in my host chat This was way less of an issue with Asya and Isaac when I played with them because they only hosted me once and weren't super interactive If Andrew doesn't fuck me over then they've 100% joined the list of people that I will always work with in an org Sarah has already made that list because I am a dumby Pretty blonde girl said "Call me daddy spice" and I said "Yes pls" Wait if Andrew joins that list then literally half of that list is in this game That would be insane there's no way Andrew is gonna join the list then I'd be stuck with another atomic situation where bodhi and Ali didn't get along and I asked to be voted out partially so I didn't have to pick sides WHAT IF I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN SARAH AND BODHI I WILL SIMPLY DIE

I have 5 min to submit this hehe so here’s some random shit Literally eve was SO PUSHED sarah RESPOND to me pls omg you just got 5 votes last tribal and I wanna change that and be allies but you gotta respond PLS Andrew is an angel hello? Love him so much and they’re so sweet to talk to and we’re so far always on the same page? LOVE Autumn is literally a bestie but we already knew that didn’t we! Cindi also a bestie omg literally I hope we don’t go to tribal because I could see it being either Cindi or sarah that goes and Cindi going would NOT be it for me

Hello, this is a mandatory confessional. I am feeling decently on my tribe as I have been playing my social connections to try to start relationships. I have my eyes set on kai a bit at the moment as someone who I want out sooner rather than later, nothing against kai, like he seems like a very cool person who I definitly get along with, but his trio scares me in this game as a big agent of the unknown and I would rather not have to deal with their gameplay in the later parts of this. I feel pretty shitty tbh cause coulee is someone I like a lot and could definitly see a game relationship being strong but she fucked up hard in the challenge and no one is willing to budge on the issue. Let it be stated here first, i tried to get it to be kai but people said jordan pines no thank you. So im gonna hold my trigger finger on kai a little longer and buddy up to him some more so hes not sus of my actions. but mark it down if the joyita boat goes to council again I will drown his ass because hurricane jordan pines is coming and people best be putting on some life jackets or they are going down.

joyita wins immunity all six of us are final three ☺️😔☺️😔

Safe again!! I have been in limbo because I’ve been at school and training…hopefully it stays this way though?? I’m worried about Carson tonight and Sarah’s idol play really put 101 in the spotlight. But if Carson votes out Kai- they may just keep losing 

Fuck working full time I’m at work rn LOL but uhm we won immunity i wanna kiss jinx on the mouth I will die for jinx and roxy said she wants to work w me bc I gave roxy permissions to spam me more to come at *checks watch* idk when I get off work ig 

The game is progressing 

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1125554073

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 10: “Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!” - Cody

Amy A

Everything worked out PERFECTLY. Ugh I love a good plan. Hopefully my new core 4 plus Najwah stays in power. 

Olivia A

WHAT THE HELL!! Grae was my closest ally this is so disappointing. On top of everything, Aimee didn’t even vote with us!! So we’re at a 6-4 disadvantage. I don’t think anyone wants to work with us. Our last hope is finding and buying the idols and utilizing Kalle’s fake idol. I hate this.

Pedro A

woke up on the bottom...and thinking i was going home...guess what...im still here ahahahhahahahahahahhhaahhah...yall though...kalle is my guardian angel ...like if it wasnt for that girlll i would be out

ben kessler

Wednesday, July 29th, immediately after the tribal grae got voted out: heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh

Aimee

I had a long day and now Grae is gone. I’m honestly crying. Jay asked if I was okay and the river of tears just started flowing. I only knew Grae for a short while and really wanted to get to know them more. They brought such a beautiful, fun and loving energy to this game. Grae, I really am going to miss you. I’m just gonna go hug a stuff animal. 

Maddison

I knew Pedro was going to play an idol. He didn’t do one single puzzle, it’s obvious he felt safe. Snakes are slithering. 

Kalle N.

I truly cannot believe that our plan worked but it did and my splitting headache is totally worth it. I really feel like I deserve an Emmy or an Oscar for my performance with Maddison and Olivia after tribal but it's fine. I have absolutely no idea what comes next but boi will it be messy. I'm so sorry it had to be Grae but I didn't know what else to do. Also I hate that I'm working with Ben but don't worry I will use my chaotic energy to go against him eventually. I will now be erasing myself from the narrative and taking a break for several hours. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Najwah

OK last night's tribal was wiiiiiiild af. I think the funniest part is that this all started with me planting a seed. I told Amy L that she is at the bottom of their alliance and that I was open to working with her to get Maddison out. She spilled all the tea about Maddison having two idols and that she's been wanting to gether out for a while bc she says the same thing to everyone lmao. I think the thing that pissed Amy off is that she told her "I feel closest to you" anyway, Amy didn't respond to me immediately so I thought she wasn't on board at first so I told Cody I'd work with him and that I have the idol from Alan. Ffs. Wrong move. Cody just trust other people wit information and it's really annoying. While I love Sarah, I can't really trust her bc she's really close to Ben and Aimee - who I do not trust. Well, Aimee I am not sure about. I guess I only don't trust her because of her close Ness to Ben and Ben blatantly lies. Anyway. So Amy told me that their alliance is still trying to vote Pedro which is perfect for us coz we can still stay Hanúha strong. So at this point I realise I wouldn't have to play my super idol and Cody wouldn't have to play his extra vote. Anyway. Amy tells Kalle about the plan to get Maddison out. I send Amy a long ass message Pedro sent Zack that Zack sent me. She tells her group that Zack had sent it to her, to solidify their vote for Pedro. And then She, Kalle, Ben and Pedro form an alliance and they pull off one of the most epic blindsided. I mean, wow. Amy told me beforehand so I saw it coming and I told Cody about it too. Lmao but Ccody just can't be low key he wrote something about Maddison's two idols and he asked in the Old Hanúha group whether anyone had known about the plan lmao obviously Ben was like "no" and wtf. Ben's facial expressions at tribal was hilarious especially because I know he careful conducted this whole genius plan. I mean people still think their alliances are with their alliances and that no one has moles but there are so many layers right now and there are a few moles. 

Cody just needs to shut up. Be like Ben who claims that everything he is doing is for James lmao but is in a secret alliance with the person that got James out lmao love it. I love that I can see through some of the BS right now. The only person that could fuck up my game is Cody atm but I am taking a leap of faith and trusting him. He needs to trust me too. I kept telling him to just trust the process last night and he kept freaking out. I think the realisation of Ben being a BSer got to him a bit. Also, he toldd Sarah that I spoke to Amy? Like I'm so fkn mad. Can he just shut up? Ugh that's my biggest problem right now. I LOVE CODY OMG WE SPEAK ON VIDEO CALL LIKE EVERY HOUR LMAO but I'm just scared that he is too trusting with certain people, especially at this point in the game. He also doesn't know how to be low key lmao which is kinda funny. Also, Pedro. Wev ebeen talking a lot. Pedro's friggin Greek they're speech and the vote with Grae that ended with "sorry not sorry" just. Lmao. I wish I watched this on TV. I'm sad that it happened via skype😂😂 also I am not sure how this VL confession thing works. Did I say the right things? Yall probably have all the tea already. I'm a little sad that Grae went home. She seemed genuinely nice but she was our only option because Olivia won immunity. Maddison also made us all uncomfortable coz she took the time to chat to none of the new people at merge. Like? Olivia and Grae made the effort. She just seems too safe. Too comfortable. She isn't even participating in this challenge. Is she THAT comfortable or just pissed? Who knows? Never keep to yourself like that. It makes people suspicious. Pedro does seem very smart and manipulative though and I will be weary of him. Let's go idol hunting then woohoo. 

Najwah

Also I keep laughing at how ridiculously bad I am at answering questions at tribal. Omg. Embarrassing. I need like a few minutes to THINK. I always look back, and wonder why tf I said what I said. In retrospect, I'd answer last night's question with "don't we all feel like we are on the outs?" ugh. I'm so bad at it. I realise it makes me look dumb and perhaps that's not a bad thing. I don't mind looking dumb tbh. Lmao. 

Cody A.

I haven’t done one of these written confessions in a while! Obviously things have been absolutely fish crazy. Idek what fish crazy means but it just came to me. And on the topic of fish... I’m pretty positive I called Maola a bunch of sharks at tribal council. 

If it wasn’t for Naj last night, I would have been completely blonde sided by the vote. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the plan was to put votes on Pedro and Madison and one of them would go. 

About 20 minutes before tribal naj called me and said she did not want me to feel left out of the events that were about to occur. She told me the real plan of Pedro and Madison both playing idols and Pedro casting the sole vote on Grae. Not going to lie I was scared shitless... I was so close to writing kalles name as a safety net for myself. What if Pedro would’ve cast the sole vote against me? At the very least it would’ve been a 1-1 tie between myself and kalle. I just didn’t want to be Denise’d out of this game. 

Ultimately I trusted my gut which told me to just trust naj. If I had got fucked over last night, at least I would’ve went out trusting the right people. Naj also told me about a 4 person alliance between Amy, Pedro, Kalle, and BEN... My Ben!!! Smh. So moving forward I have to be very careful with the information I give and receive from Ben which sucks because I thought I could trust him more :/ Basically THANK THE LORDT FOR NAJ. Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes! 

Kalle N.

So this entire time that I've worked with Ben, he always dictates our moves and every single thing I can or can't say to certain people. If I suggest something he immediately turns it down and will only do what he wants. Men are the worst. Anyways, a little bit ago after he told me what our next move is and didn't let me have any input, he suddenly said "Actually what do you want to do? You go ahead and tell me what you want". That is EXTREMELY sus and makes me think that he's just trying to make me feel better while he's secretly plotting against me. I could go along with it and just let him vote me out bc honestly I'm exhausted, or I could reveal all of the insanity that happened in the last vote to my other alliance and then expose him to his own tribe for working with me. Which would get him voted out. But that's a lot of work so I'm ngl I'm leaning towards just getting voted out myself

Aimee

I’m so glad I’m not actually on an island playing real life Survivor right now. I would constantly be in the ocean or somewhere in the bushes bawling my eyes out. And then coming back to camp like, “oh hey guys! No puffy face here, I promise! Yeah everything is peaches! Hanuha strong! Those red eyes are just from too much sun, I think I need to lay down in the shade” I’m not crying over Grae and how shitty I was to Maddison or anything, JayKay I totally am! I hate that I didn’t tell Maddison the votes were going her way. I’m not even sure why I didn’t. I’m so sorry Maddison, I really hope we can rebuild our connection and work together again. I just feel like barf and am exhausted. Trying to play this game with a full time job is tough. I hope I have the emotional fortitude to pick myself back up and put on a poker face. The last thing I need is anyone figuring out my tells and knowing what I am up to. I want to work with Ben and Maddison the most at this point. I hope I can make that work out. 

Pedro A

I'm honestly scared...for the next tribal ...I feel like everyone is gonna go after me...cause apparently I'm the villan lol

Kalle N.

It's a little hard to focus on the game at the current moment bc an exciting/terrifying development may be occurring in my life in the next couple of days. I'm having a prolonged anxiety attack. We were going to try to take out Aimee so F's in the chat to pay respect. Don't know what I'll be doing. Need to go cry in the shower now.

Najwah

Sigh. It's been a very long day. I really played hard at this challenge, knowing I have a 15% DA. Do I think it's insane that someone came into the game when half the players had already been eliminated and over half the 24 hours had already passed only to NOT even try to eliminate the one person not in our alliance in there, then pretend it's all kumbaya and eliminate our alliance (who we said we won't eliminate, we made a pact?) one by one? I mean yeah it's damn insane. And not that I'm a sore loser or anything, but I wish she'd have been there when things were actually heated and when everyone else was putting in the hard work. This isn't endurance in my opinion. This is coming into a game late and reaping all the benefits. However, well done on her tactic. Love it honestly. I think she made good moves and knew when to strike and for that, of course I think she's a fkn Queen. Even though I felt as though I was so close to winning immunity, even though I tried really hard. At the end of the day, it's how you outwit and outlast your opponents. Next time I'll be sure to not read challenge rules at 4am and then try to actually understand the game properly and how I too, can make things easier for myself dammit coz I think i keep making everything so hard for myself in this game ugh. I just need one fucking WIN. Goodness I am playing so hard. Wow. Wow. Starting to wonder what panderosa is like lol must be fun. Anyway I need to sleep coz the sleep deprivation is making me feel sick af and making me paranoid about having corona. 

Aimee

https://lovelyygifss.tumblr.com/post/618070044309700608/deserved-more-than-0-votesssss QUEEN SARAH!!!!!!! 👑 ♥️ This challenge proved to me so much that Sarah is in it for the long haul with me! I could tell she was never guessing for my word and I wasn’t trying hers. Team Casanova is once again coming up equal on all challenges and I love to see it! I can’t believe I got to have my Michele moment and come from behind after being hours behind in the challenge and eliminating the last three people in a row to kick down that damn puzzle! I am on such an adrenaline rush!!! After the low lows of last night this rollercoaster of game really proves you can get right back up and thrive! Haha it was so hard saying my word since I’m a pretty positive person and my word was “not.” Sarah and I never gave up in this challenge and we ended up being the last two remaining!!! I also really bonded with Najwah and Cody. That challenge was so much more than immunity it was also a great opportunity to bond with cast mates and I really capitalized on that. Even during this challenge I patched things up with Maddison too and it seems like we are back to trying to make things work with us. I feel like Grae would want that for both of us too. I went from crying my eyes out the night before to total redemption today. It was on my bucketlist to win an individual immunity and I did it on something I never knew I could win. I’m just so amped and trying to calm myself down. I’m just https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSd Wheeler island in the sun The song I was listening to when I won immunity. 🎃🐻🌈🍑❤️💜🧡💛

Sarah

There have been so many things that have happened today... This morning Ben, Naj, and I gave Cody enough coins for him to hopefully get the idol. Cody showed me what was in the store and how there were two necklaces for $20 which was odd. He got one of the necklaces and we thought it was a real idol. Tbh we still don’t know if it’s a real idol. Cody sent a fake message to Ben and I showing that it was a “fake idol” (he got the message from Naj when she had found a fake idol). We thought it was real but when Cody found it it said “what seems to be an idol,” which makes me think someone planted a fake idol there and he did get a fake idol. I will send in more soon... 

Najwah

I thought that making it to merge would be enough for me lol but somehow my goal is just to get further now. I'm at a crossroads though bc there is no one I really want to get out or back stab or whatever. Cody found a supposed idol yesterday. I told him just to tell Ben it's a fake idol and if Ben wanted to use the fake idol, he could give him my idol. Thing is, Cody is paranoid about it being a real idol or fake one that he found. I think he should just chill about it and it'll be fine. I just want Cody to be calm, I feel like without Zack's constant talking and scheming, the silence is getting to him a bit. But I quite like the silence. He thinks it means something is happening or people are plotting against him. I just think it means people are trying to sleep lol. I mean even if he was a target, he still has an idol. Ugh. Anyway it's actually a religious holiday for me today and tomorrow. So I will spend time with my husband and perhaps go to a fancy restaurant or something. I haven't felt fancy in so long and I realised everyone in this game has really seen gross, messy haired, late night Najwah lmao like I usually don't even let my friends see me this way 

Najwah

It's silly trying to keep wondering who tf I can trust. I need to just go with my gut. There are a few people in the game I really like. Cody, Sarah, Amy, Pedro and Aimee. I don't know the rest and I don't trust Ben. I don't know what he's up to. He was supposed to be in some secret alliance with Kalle and Amy but he told Cody and I about them so what's really happening? Who knows? Also he keeps asking me what do I want to do who do I want out? Lmaoooooooooo. 

Najwah

We had a lot of deep, crazy conversations yesterday and one of my favs were actually drooling over survivor players and realising how gay everyone is lmao. I love that. As someone who has struggled with my sexuality for most of my life, thinking I'm gay for a long time and then finding myself attracted to boys too was bizarre in the early 2000s. and being told being bisexual is a "phase" or "confusion" or that it was bc I went to an all girls school (shout out to Rhenish girls High), being in a space where everyone is really open and accepting of all this is amazing. I'm happy i live in a country where gay marriages have been legal since 2006 and ironically being trans or gay is not that big of a deal here as it is in countries way more progressive than ours. I still struggle with non binary pronouns but I am learning thanks to this game. I feel free just being who I am, whoever tf that is in this game. And for that I'm obviously very thankful. Today, I'm married to a man who appreciates my sexuality and is open to me exploring it even more. Its been a long journey and it makes me extremely happy seeing people in this game, so much younger than me and so much more sure of themselves. I'm happy that they will be spared a lot of pain and confusion. I love GenZ. I love that they just are who they are and there is no pretense. This Is so important and a luxury previous generations could only dream. Of. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Olivia A

Our plan for this vote feels really ambitious but I think it’s gonna work. We’ll likely get the numbers back :)

Maddison

I’m going to have to use my advantage tonight to save my ass. Guess that’s what advantages are for, eh?

Ben Kessler

I am trying to vote kalle out. If it works, my name will be out there but it may pay off. Maddison and Olivia are definitely going for me which is fine. I need to tell Pedro 5 minutes before tribal to trust me.

Kalle N.

Maddison will use her advantage, Olivia will play my idol, the only votes that will count will be the votes we put on Cody. That's it that's the plan

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/PuZChTTJzzU

Pedro A

Okay so me olivia kalle and amy are voting cody...plus maddison will leave tribal......and olivia will play the idol kalle has....i swear if olivia votes for me...and i go HOMEEE....IM DONEE...i have a bad feeling about this tribal...im trusting the devil lol 

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess 

Maddison

I’m making a big move tonight and I’m not sure yet how it will pan out. 

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess 

Olivia A

Initially we were going to all (Maddison, Cody, Najwah, Sarah, Aimee, and I) vote Ben but we are going to switch it to Kalle because Aimee and Ben are kinda close and we want to keep Aimee as a number. I’m happy to see Kalle go after how much she has lied to Maddison and me.

Olivia A

I am SO nervous for this vote. Here is the whole plan: Maddison will play her safety without power advantage and I will play the (fake) idol that Kalle gave me. This is just so that Kalle doesn’t get tipped off that we know about her lies. Kalle believes Maddison, Amy, and I are voting for Cody and think that she is voting for him as well. In reality, Cody, Aimee, Sarah, Najwah, Amy, and I are voting for Ben. We suspect Ben, Kalle, and maybe Pedro are voting for me and expect it to work because of the fake idol that Kalle planted. I really hope this works because if people are lying then I’m definitely going home. 

Ben Kessler

Dearest confessional, My life is out on the line. I am in a very vulnerable position right now and if I stay in the game tonight damage control must be done. There are many complicated plans and I work best under chaos, so these votes are hopefully good for my game overall. If kalle actually gives her idol to Olivia and we vote out kalle, maddison and Olivia and Amy will be pissed, but they do not have the numbers. I would need to do some more work to make sure I get the info that kalle is currently giving me, but it's not as bad as going farther with kalle and then losing later on. I now need to video call kalle goodbye.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Hi Sarah, sorry to put this on you but I just got 3 rejection emails in one week, for jobs I really wanted- one was literally my dream job :( please tell me life after university gets easier because I'd honestly prefer the stress of that over the terrifying uncertainty I feel right now. Life is just feeling like a lot and being a grown up is scary. I just don't want to let everyone down. Did you feel like this when you graduated?

Hi dear. This got long. I’m sorry. 

First of all, you have no need to be sorry at all (lol the Canadian irony, sorry). I’m so glad you feel comfortable enough that you could reach out to me about this. Secondly, I’m sorry to hear that. I know it’s tough, but rejection is a part of life. And you may think it was your dream job now, but something will open up down the line and doors will come to you that you didn’t expect that will lead the path to where you were always meant to be. 

When my graduation from university was impending, one of my program’s profs took my entire cohort out for dinner and drinks to celebrate the last four years. When we were all a few beers in, I was talking to him aside from the table and just kind of started tearing up and blubbering about how scared I was to graduate. How I had no idea where my life was going, if I would ever get a job. We had just spent the last four years of our lives being told how difficult it would be to get a job as a working journalist, with layoffs happening left right and centre. That all my life I’ve been extremely good at school. At being an academic. At studying. But how is that really supposed to prepare you for life out there. I jokingly considered staying in school in order to avoid the real world. Because school is something I knew I was good at. 

He looked me in the eye and essentially told me the equivalent of calm down and shut the fuck up. Everything, and I seriously mean everything is going to be okay. The path to getting there might not always seem like it. It might take twists, turns, you never expected. Hangups that make you honestly question is this even worth it. How are you supposed to get to where you want to go by doing x, y, z. But it works out. It does. It seriously does. You may not get the apartment you wanted, but another one will come up. You may not get the perfect job, but another one will come up. And that job might not be your dream one, but it’ll sustain you until that dream one comes along. That “not so dream” job might even turn out to be the one you never saw coming. 

Seriously. It’s going to be fine. Trust. I swear. And in the meantime, I got you. Okay? 

P.S.I had a job offer going into my graduation ceremony that would take me 13 hours away from my friends, family, and loved ones. I was lonely as fuck for a year, but I squirrelled away money, learned independence, had a pretty large apartment I got to decorate myself, and I had time to spend with my thoughts and doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it. 

When I quit a year later, I had four more job offers that would also mean moving away. I turned ALL of them down in complete hysteria, again sobbing for days on the phone with my former journo prof and wondering if I was making the right call. If I was insane for turning down working journalism jobs so that I could be with my friends and family. I chose to work at a start-up closer to home. 

Two years later, I’ve moved in with my boyfriend. We have a cat. I’m making 1.5x more than I would have if I had taken those journo jobs. I’m not 100% fulfilled, but I’m working on getting there. 

It’s going to be okay.

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 3 “Back On My Bullshit” Alex S.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I am Back On My Bullshit and doing That https://youtu.be/VLVChQE7uY8

So last round, I almost died.  Everyone had apparently decided that between me and Patrick, I was the one to go.  I was the target and it wasn't like anyone was pushing for it, it was just that it was the idea settled upon.  It took me 23 hours.  23 hours to basically get it through these thick skulls that I should NOT be going home.  23 hours to shove Patrick under a bus and save my own ass.  And yet, with 1 hour left, another bitch got in the way.  Kage, in all his pointless paranoia, decided to try to reflip the vote in the last hour.  The FUCK?  I had worked so hard on flipping it that it made NO sense for it to be flipped back, especially not in the last hour.  I had convinced nearly everyone to save me, sans Tommy who had already voted and apparently Kage, and yet he tried to flip it.  WHATTTT the fuck?  So, I went into the one world chat like "lol Kage bye girl!"  And he apparently went right back to everyone and said "jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk!"  UGH.  He's a sweet kid and I get the paranoia because I felt it all of yesterday, but c'mon... At the moment, I trust Jonathan a ton.  He told me I was in danger and needed to push the idea despite me thinking everything was peachy.  I also love Crow and Jaiden for working with Zack and seeing how that mess turned out LOL and now working with me.  Crow was apparently really pushing for me to stay.  A motherfucking KING.  Sarah was also really nice about everything and helped me from the get-go.  Linus is m'dad and Alex is pretty rad!!  Ashley fell asleep oops.  But I think her and I would be good together.  And Richie was telling me the full truth the whole time which also woke me up to the idea that I was still in danger.  Also Junior is really cool and adult-y. I think now that I had to work SO hard to save myself, I should be in a better position on my tribe because I've had so many conversations with so many people, and a lot of it was strategy.  So I feel like people know where my head is at.  Right now, though, my target is between Tommy and Kage.  While I know Kage is a messy bitch, Tommy's won this game.  That's insanely dangerous.  And I know he voted early but girl.... he was the only one beside Kage and Patrick (who I was actively targeting)...

https://68.media.tumblr.com/9335ba85c23ae1f01a1348b1c31c3666/tumblr_n99wduhukv1sb2lomo1_500.png

Me and Brian

I apologize for not submitting a confessional round two. I definitely was in Omaha auditioning for American Idol and those bitches told me a deserved no after my voice cracked during auditions *starts to cry*. Literally my tribe is so supportive but I'm actually fine about it. It's kinda funny that they think I like wanna die because of it but I'm literally okay. I tried and failed and what matters is that I tried.

Sup Fuckerinos! First things first I'd like to apologize for not making a confessional episodes 1 or 2. I've been busy^tm. Also I'd like to thank the hosts for this opportunity! So recap I was placed on the heroes tribe with literally the entire Solomon hosting team, Johnny, and the Malaysians. So when we lost the first challenge an alliance was created consisting of me, Pippa, Andrew, Kendall, Drew, Alex, & Johnny. Mist was voted out 11-1 (and Mist voted for me :') kms) because literally everyone and their damn mother came to that conclusion with a little point in the right direction from our alliance. I'm not going to lie I'm kind of pissed that everyone wanted Mist when we had the opportunity to vote out someone who's more threatening like Drew, Steffen, or Andrew but if no one else is down to do it then I guess I can't do anything about that RIP Mist. Andrew wants to get out Kendall and/or Alex instead of Drew and I see where he's coming from but I think he's too trigger happy and I think he's failing to realize that there are and will be repercussions to the things he does. Including the backlash that he will feel from the other heroes even Pippa but I can't tell him anything because I obviously don't know anything. He's got such a fucking hard head but if he wants to be stubborn and reckless let him because I'm not going to let him ruin my redemption arc even if we are good friends. I'll write his name down and not think twice. I'll shed only one tear for what could've been but was ruined by his reckless ass. Also I have something with Steffen on the side so if worse ever comes to worse I have him and I really like Trace and Ruthie so maybe I could do something with that? Idk but besides Andrew I really like this tribe. Blood is going to start spilling soon so I hope these bitches brought their heels. 

Okay so I'm seeing myself becoming a lot nastier in the last few days....maybe these villains are rubbing off on my obviously heroic personality?? Firstly, I can now see why people had issues with Tommy in Cutthroat now....he's so hard to talk to... I feel he means well as a person but I just have a gut feeling that he's lying to me a lot.... Like about how his vote was locked "too early"? Seems convenient that you mention this to people AFTER the votes are revealed and you're in the minority? And then threatening me with the possibility of drawing rocks if it were to go to 6-6-1? Seriously? It's insulting... As of now, I'm probably closest to Sarah, Brian, Jaiden, and Jonathan so if I can maintain those relationships and reach out to the Linus/Junior duo I feel confident I can hang with these villains!

Listen I know this is my first confessional and that's awful of me but like I haven't had anything to say until this moment. If This selfie scavenger hunt Comes down to the geopositional division of the tribes And whose sun sets first Imma lose it It will be a tantrum And you will all bear witness to what happens when moving stress has pushed a person to the very edge, and the last string snaps.

Well, we lost another immunity. I am thinking maybe we should go afterJonathan, who pretty much did NOTHING for this scavenger hunt. But honestly I aint going to speak my mind because it could get me killed. In a game with this many people my strategy for right now will be to lay low, just not too too low. Hopefully Sarah or Tommy will run the show. For now.

WELL we lost again and im pissed bc i dont feel comfortable with my position on this tribe i havent formed good relationships with anyone and that's how i play these games by making 1 on 1 relationships with people that keep me safe until i can make moves but ugh idk theres just no one here that i........connect with???

So I guess my name is going around... I mean I am literally sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor packing to move so I can't really help being a little inactive on the chatting side, but challenge wise I have done quite a bit for this tribe so far, and I am really people can see that. but I mean oh well. 

HFDJKA;VHJDFKAL NOW I KNOW WHY THE FOUR OF THEM WANTED TO WORK TOGETHER FUCKING DREW ALEX KENDALL AND ISAAC WERE ALL IN MALAYSIA AND THEY DRAGGED ME AS THEIR FIFTH AND PIPPA AND ANDREW AS 6TH AND 7TH OML THEY GOTTA GO THIS IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT CASE TO TURN ON THEM. The only person I told I wanted Ruthie out was Andrew, but now I'm not even sure if I'd want to take Ruthie out this round because those four could be so threatening down the road, but I also have to keep in mind that those four all being from Malaysia is target enough when we all get together as heroes AND villains, so maybe I just take the safe route and go for Ruthie here, and then if we lose for the third time, that's when I pull everyone else into the fold and it can be everyone against the four of them to AT LEAST get Kendall and Alex out of here because they're too damn good. I'm trying to take out all the really good players early, but I also think there's a chance that'll make me oober vulnerable, so I'm not too sure what the plan is yet. I guess I'll just play it out for now and see what my closest people think. I'm definitely going to tell Dom, Trace and Steffen about the four of them all playing in Malaysia together. This is where my research gets me! FUCK YES!

Steffen is probably about to make a confessional about how I was moving 100000 miles a minute with everything I was throwing at him. Just be prepared LMAO

I hate this game. Every round, I think the game is going to simplify, but this villains tribe is a complete mess and I wouldn't be shocked if we lost the duel and had to go to yet another tribal council 24 hours from our current one. Apparently, the vote is between Ashley and Jonathan for being extra quiet this round.  What scares me is that I have no reason to really vote either out.  I'd much rather vote Tommy or Kage who I have no intention on working with in the future ever ever ever.  I don't have a personal issue with either, I just don't see myself ever working with someone who tried to vote me out.  It's not logical.  But then again, nothing that's happened on this crusty ass tribe has been logical.  Vote me out over Pat?  Majority said so until I flipped it (with some help who really pushed the move over the edge). This round, I guess I want Ashley to go?  But I don't want to draw lines.  I'd rather Kage go in an easy vote and that's that.  But it ain't happenin' and I really don't need my name circulating yet again. Here's to hoping I don't get idoled out or go via rocks... please...

BITCH the villains tribe is a fucking mess i cant stand it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this vote is fucking ridiculous again no one has a clear plan theres no way of getting anyone to tell you whats actually going down its all just second hand names being tossed out and its like.... driving me fucking crazy theres 24 people still in the game so im just trying to lay low which im sure thats what everyone else is trying to do and thats why no one is just outright saying who they're voting for and like i get it but i want to die!!??? it looks like either jonathan ashley or kage are going... jonathan is inactive i've only spoken 2 words to him and he hasnt done anything to help in the immunity challenges so its easiest to vote him out but i liked him when he called out kage for his bullshit in the tribe chat so that was fun ashley is pretty inactive too but she helped more in the scavenger hunt BUT shes also wicked connected to people in this game from past tumblr survivor games relationships she has played with a lot of people in this game and thats scary to let her stay around and utilize those relationships kage i dont think is a real option but just ashley being mad that he is one of the ones that has said her name but i'd be cool with that because we've talked a good amount but i can tell he's a messy player he caused a lot of last minute chaos at our first tribal and i feel like kage tommy and linus have something going on so id like to break that potential group up idk whats going to happen bc this tribe is a literal disaster if i had to guess i'd assume jonathan will be leaving tonight and idc who it is as long as im still here (although i do need alex to stay for sanity reasons) i just dont want a tie or to be in minority and with that i guess we'll see what actually happens ugh why the fuck did yall think i was a villain fuck you i want to be over there with the good bitches 

God I keep half forgetting to make confessionals please don't hate me. I really do enjoy our tribe, winning challenges is great but I'm afraid that people are simply talking more than I am which is my fear. I'm around but not specifically talking with people. I hope the Early 30s know I'm working with them whole heartedly and don't try and back stab me. Other than that I'm living life and having fun.

 I have a feeling that an idol is gonna come out and I love being messy, so voting for Kage was just so he can be #afraid that his name came up. And like lowkey a fucking Sapphire idol could show up so who knows what happens with that. I'm just trying to fuck some lives over though so IF THAT HAPPENS, then maybe I'll be the only vote to eliminate Kage? Lmao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tGhgF8_Uxk third babes

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 5 - “https://streamable.com/2bc03” - Beck

So, I have a very good idea as to what happened. Karen thought they were the one to go with their score, and successfully convinced everyone else to get rid of me. Either to get the gold or to get rid of me, I'm not sure. But I'm on to them. Make no mistake.

Well, to recap past round, Ben ended up winning the gold medal and returning to the game, which I really appreciate, so he'll be immune next tribal he attends, which am sure he is happy with.   That led to Nik W being the next person eliminated.   Then, as well at the arena, Stoner won the silver medal for his tribe, I won the Bronze medal for my tribe, then Pete won nothing.   Today's immunity challenge was a maze, went into the maze thinking I should get a decent time, as I did mazes a bit as a kid, but then my dumb self didn't save the maze properly so had to redo it, then my internet decided to act up so had to refigure out lightshot which cost me more time.  So I ended up with a really rough score, thankfully the 40% bonus will help a little, but I just feel bad and embarrassed by the time I got, and feel like if my tribe loses, it's going to be because of me.   I can't even be too active tomorrow to discuss vote with people if my tribe loses as I am going back home tomorrow, which just makes matters even worse.   So, at the moment, I don't feel too hot, but at the same time, I shouldn't let one bad round set me back either.

first loss as a new tribe, rip. I don’t know how this vote may go because i’ve chatted and bonded with everyone on this tribe, well except kevin and kinda nicole, and no one is really sticking out like an asshole. The new mari-whatever tribe has been just chill vibes which is nice but makes strategy much harder cus like what if they’re all secretly just agreed in getting me out? Who knows. I did talk with Landen and we agreed we wanna work together, he threw out the idea that he may be leaning towards voting out an old Shosha member and he hasn’t talked with Kevin or Nicole at all. I’m talking to Eve, Sammy, and Jacob C as well, maybe we could be a voting block...? We’ll see. 

Sarah felt she’s in danger because of Billy trying to get her out last tribal. I can’t have Sarah out because her and I trust each other so then I think of this idea. Nik just got voted out, Billy is targeting Sarah now... what if I spread a rumor that Billy has a plan to pick off all the yujo members and has a hit list and is playing way too hard now? So basically i tell all my allies that eve and I are really scared because someone told us that Billy wants to pick off the yujo people for an easy vote these next few rounds in the hopes that people won’t trust him if he’s playing too hard like that and hopefully the word gets back to the sonkei tribe members. 

So we have a problem, Eve and I are sticking together as former yujo so we let each other know what the other person has found out. So anyways I talk with Landen for a little while, I trust him, and he proposes this plan to vote out a former Shosha tribe member which i’m not against. He says he’s talked a little with Sammy and Jacob C too. So I let Eve know and she says interestingly enough she’s been talking to Nicole and Nicole proposed that her, Eve, Kevin, and myself all vote together and Eve says maybe against Landen. Eve also let’s me know that Nicole and Jacob C are very very close. So now Eve and I are split, I want to vote with Landen and get a Shosha tribe member out, she doesn’t wanna go against Nicole and wants to vote Landen out. We’re kinda the swing vote here and I want us to make the right decision. 

tribal is getting closer and closer and nobody wants to make a decision! They’re ALL asking ME what to do which i guess is nice but i don’t want them all thinking of me as the decision maker this early. Right now it’s between landen or kevin going so i’m doing what i can to make sure everyone’s fine with writing Kevin’s name down. 

Let's make this quick because I am obviously stressed as fuck and I just had the most whack ass dream about this game. In it, half this cast got kicked out of the game for being minors and it was actually a Facebook game, then we appealed it and held a whole trial bc some chick compared us to South African famous wanted murderers and we were offended so we held a trial and won the appeal and all the minors got back in the game but then there was instant tribal council and it was a live tribal and we were all whispering to send home someone named Charlotte who isn't even in this cast I... Yeah. So  you can tell THAT'S how paranoid I am about this tribal council, my brain is driving me insane. We going in a million different directions!!! Anyway here's what happened last night. As SOON as I sent in my video confessional saying things are going to be fine, Pete messaged me (hilariously enough, he literally just messaged me with news AGAIN, but we'll get to that later.. it wasn't big enough to change the whole confessional) and said that things had blown up. Essentially what he told me was that Nicole is very close with Eve, but she's also very close with Jacob. Because of this those three kind of took control, and essentially Nicole wants to work with Eve/Pete/Kevin/Jacob. That would leave me and Sammy on the bottom. I knew as soon as I heard that, that Nicole's plan was to vote me out tonight. Jacob loves Sammy, so if they're working together closely, I'm the target, that much is obvious. So basically this entire day would be a race to make sure that we can sway Eve and/or Jacob and make sure the votes are on KEVIN, not on me. Because he doesn't talk to anyone. I gave my best pitch to Eve, but I don't think it worked that much, she doesn't like being in the middle. Nicole/Sammy/Jacob were all like "I'm at work" "i'm driving somewhere" "i'm at a party" lol we love excuses. I'm not buying your fake shit, you just don't want to talk to me. Notice how I said would be though.... Teehee! Well, turns out, I told Juls about all this madness, and my hero, the light of my life, has decided to help me out by giving me a Sit-out-at-tribal advantage! Not 100% sure how it works yet, I REALLY hope I get to make some dramatic play with it at tribal and actually talk about using it... But if not, I'm just glad for the safety. While I'm not 100% sure if it would be me or Kevin going home and if we could sway the votes, I'm not willing to risk my safety at the arena. It's just not going to happen. And I want to see how interesting things get when I return! So when it comes to this tribal, that's honestly my main plan. Sit out with Juls' advantage. Laugh as the fireworks play... Hope to GOD that Kevin, who probably gets sent home, dies in the Arena too. Gotta have faith he can be beat. I'm not amazing at challenges, good, but not confident enough that I'm willing to risk my spot in the Arena now that it's gotten down to all active people who are giving it their 100%. Notice how I said I'd make this quick but I didn't? Yeah this is a mess. So... tonight is going to be VERY. Very fun. You could even say it'll be a disaster..? For them, at least.

So, Darcy could prove to be a useful asset to bring close to the end. He voted for me last round, and he said he figured that'd reduce trust between us. Honestly, he's absolutely right, I want very little to do with him now, but I'm just "playing nice" until it's time to cut him out.

Billy is going. Kinda hope he comes back so we can win. Even if we don't it's nice to have an easy vote. I think I need to position myself just a little bit better here. Even if i'm not near the bottom, I need to act like it. I need to have chris and jordan's loyalty over emma. And Emma's over theirs. I need to be in the power position, without being viewed that way. Me not going on skype might help that perception. I'm good at these challenges, this one not included, so I should be solid going forward.

i’m playing a spreading info game.... is it gonna get me in trouble? maybe! it might! but it could also get me far so high risk high reward. please pray that the info i’m leaking doesn’t get tacked back to me

This first part of the game for me has been some of the worst gameplay that I've ever displayed. I've received votes every single tribal, I've made no strong connections, the only guy I trusted 100% got his ass voted out, and I'm sitting in the Arena for the second time. It makes you wonder how the fuck I do this shit without breaking down. Well, that's sort of what I did. I broke down after that tribal man, hard. I fkn hate getting emotional man but it felt like complete SHIT being alone and neglected. Truth is, every way I put it, even though I don't wanna admit it, I got no one but myself to blame. What I need in this game is a reset button. When I come back, and I WILL come back from that arena, I need to start a clean slate and get all that chaos the fuck outta there...for now. Fuck I need to win that arena. So bad. When I go back to Sonkei, Imma make sure that I'm the one on top. 

So for starters, my tribe won immunity the other day, so we got the tribal break we deserved!   Now, waiting on arena, where Juls from my tribe, Landen from Miraitowa, and Jordan from Sonkei are competing for Silver and Bronze, then Pete and Billy are competing for the gold.   In which, my ideal scenario is Billy winning the gold and coming back, as I feel like he could be a potential ally I could have come another swap or merge if him and I make it there together.  Then I'd want Juls to win the silver, since it'd be helpful for next challenge for yushu, then can potentially win another immunity!  Preferably in this scenario, Landen wins the Bronze, just so that one of the other tribes don't end up coming back with two medals.  Anyways, this game is fun, and I made final 19, now to see if I can find anything in Olympic Village this next round, as I have still yet to find something.

I'm going to go ahead and try to improve this situation slightly. I think I have the makings of a fantsatic position, it just needs to be perfect. Billy and Emma fighting at tribal while Chris was doing his own thing pretty much sums up everything I needed. I need either Chris or Jordan to be my new #1. Jordan appears to be a paranoid nut, Chris is the opposite. I tend to have greater successes with the paranoid nut, but who knows. They need to like me back, which is easier said than done. If Billy comes back we are likely winning the challenge. We won't of course, cause that's who we are, but who knows. My semester starts up tomorrow, which is going to harm my activity a tad, and I'm already not that active, but we'll see how that influences anything.

I DID IT I DID IT I FUCKING DID IT THEY ALL THOUGHT ID JUST BE A FORGETTABLE PREJURY BOOT ID SUCK AT ARENA AND BE DONE AND GUESS WHAT IVE NEVER DONE ANY SKYPE ORGS BEFORE AND I STILL FUCKING DID IT SCREW YOU JACOB C SCREW YOU SAMMY SCREW YOU NICOLE AND SCREW YOU KEVIN I AM HERE BECAUSE I FOUGHT FOR IT AND I FUCKING WANTED IT BAD AND I TOOK OUT BILLY TO BE HERE!!! HELL FUCKIN YEAH DUDE IM NOT PLAYING NICE WITH ANY OF THESE BITCHES ANYMORE 

I’ll do a video later. Billy got voted out which was unfortunate as I really like billy and vibe with him but it doesn’t make sense to flip when I think I’m in a good position right now. I had a good convo with Sarah, really vibe with her. I have my alliance with Jordan, Jacob, and Em which I feel good about they’re just real quiet. Need to talk to them more 1 on 1. I have my duo with Pines that I feel real confident about. I hope that’s not my downfall this game but I think pines and I are gonna do great things. 

https://streamable.com/2bc03 - pete wins the gold medal.mp4

Well baby dolls, basically eve tried to exclude me from an alliance but I beat that bitch to the punch! And my fearsome foursome played her like a fiddle while she thought I was going home unanimous in all actuality we had the upper hand and dropped the hammer on Pete 4-2, with Landen volunteering for the arena Eve was left to fend for herself for cute little 24 hours and chaos ensued when she realized what happened hopping between calls and chats to damage control for her lack of judgement in including me into things, therefore she feels on the outs and while I was a part of this scheme and to an extent playing a role of the victim who found solace in a group of three who wanted to vote for me, all of which is false, I’m still using these moments to rebuild a bridge I never knew got burned to ashes so she can potentially INCLUDE me in things going forward, after all we’re both out of the loop right? ;)

Tribal was quite spicy. Nobody reacted to Stoner rolling a blunt while em and billy were arguing and my soul left my body from trying not to laugh. Just found out Billy is not coming back, which honestly whew, because I feel like he'd come back with some vengeance. He's probably a good team player normally, but my only impression was..not great! Hopefully we can come together as a tribe now and aim to NOT go to tribal in the first place. Although I still feel like, entering into this new tribe, there are many, many layers. Salty, spicy layers. Like a delicious onion dip. 

Nicole, watch your ass. 

So let me backtrack to before tribal. You’re probably wondering how I got here! *record scratch* Anyway, so we constructed a tribe to have a 4-3 majority, and in doing that there was always going to come a day where when we lost we would have to choose who was going to go between Pete, Eve and Landen. I feel badly because, they’re newbies and obviously putting a reasonable effort into this game BUT, it’s the name of the game, if the returnees didn’t band together we were going to get picked off and have a hard time like Karen is on their tribe. Anyway, so the day comes and we have to go to tribal. NONE of the newbies talked to me about game before we lost. I need to point that out.  As soon as we lost Eve said “what the hell are we gonna do now”....m’am! WE? WHO’S WE? anyway, I played along and was just about to tell her we were going to vote out Pete when she says she was on a tribe with Pete and could make a good number for us. She says I can pull in Jacob...Jacob can pull in Sammy...hold on a minute. Are we leaving out Kevin? WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE KEVIN? This might as well be a Home Alone sequel because they’re leaving Kevin out of EVERYTHING! or at least that’s what I’m being told (more on that later). So I don’t want any weird advantages to get pulled out of anyone’s pocket at tribal and so I obviously go along with it, I say everyone is fine, Jacob will vote with them, we hate Kevin. Basically whatever we need to do. Honestly, I don’t feel bad. You can’t not talk to people for a full two rounds and then decide when you lose you now have a majority. Anyway so, good thing we kept the Pete vote a secret! Because I feel like Eve would have been able to make whoever had the advantage (Juls, I think) use it on Pete and then we would have been REALLY screwed. Anyway, it worked out. We voted for Pete. He left. Eve yelled. The more than curious thing that happened after the vote that makes me second guess my whole alliance is the fact that Beck came out of nowhere and told me that Sammy knew about the advantage because Juls was talking about it on a call (WHICH IS AGAINST THE RULES BC SHES AT THE ARENA BUT I GUESS WE JUST FORGET THAT PART FOR NOW BECAUSE THERES A BIGGER POINT) Anyway, in short I need to focus on keeping more info for myself and not telling my alliance. I’m used to having a ride or die alliance that I can pour info into like I did with Kinky Booties in Seychelles. I knew that info was going to aid in me going forward. Here I’m not so sure. They could literally vote me out next if they want me and push Eve into my spot because she’s a newbie and in that way, less of a threat. But anyway I tell Beck, as I’m telling them, Beck keeps writing to me as if he is being instructed to tell me more info. I don’t know if it was Juls (again, against the f*ing rules, these newbies are..!!!) or if it was someone in the alliance, maybe Jacob or Kevin. I wouldn’t think Sammy but, I don’t know. Anyway I don’t feel safe, and I’ve beat my lowest placement that I’ve ever gotten BUT, that doesn’t mean I want to get out just yet. I don’t feel good about winning this game but I would like to make it onto a jury for once (I’m always at FTC if I get past premerge 🥳) That’s all I got so far,  check back in for my MENTAL BREAAAAK after immunity results for next round bc if we lose, I’m gonna cry. I can’t deal with this again, especially since the whole Pete situation has been pawned off on me. 

SO we ended up switching the vote within the last few hours to save Karen <3! Karen made a push to save herself by going after one of the OG Blue tribe (Ben) and I was fine with the vote since me and Beck had already been in the works to blindside him in the future and since I think Karen will be more reliable at the moment I was willing to stick my neck out if Juls and Caeleb were down for the plan. With that being said I left it in their hands to make the decision so that it feels like I'm with them and shows them as power players to Beck. As soon as they made the decision I ran to Beck with the news so that he would be in the minority and for him to tell Darcy. I ended up voting Karen because I knew she would be safe but I wanted to create doubt and paranoia in everyone's mind on who voted with Ben and I think I wouldn't be the first suspect you think of. Only a subtle move. For the arena I was rooting for Billy to win to cause chaos on the Sonkei tribe and so that Pete would go home because I think Pete might become a big threat and I rather he be out now than later. Also apparently Juls used the exile to make Landen safe from their tribal council it was obvious they were each other's #1 but now other people are starting to see it. I think that we need to put an end to it because she's telling people like Sammy about her power who she's not even on a tribe with, so it shows she's planning on jumping ship the moment she's not on this tribe. Juls NEEDS to go home. I'm gonna push for her to go home this round, next time I'm on call with Beck I'm gonna try to convince him his best move is to get rid of Juls so that way a big threat is outta the game, and it makes the game that much smoother sailing. It might upset Caeleb but honestly I find people like Darcy and Karen very easy to work with and willing to work closely with me in the long term in comparison to himself or Juls. So my plan is to try and get Beck to consider going after Juls stating how she is not going to be loyal to us come a swap unlike Karen or Darcy would be. 

I, big dumb dumb, would like to retract and apologize about what I said about Beck and Juls bc when Beck told me I actually did message Juls saying I’m stressed and it didn’t occur to me that I ALSO BROKE THE RULES. I turned myself in but, yeah......it’s way harder to remember not to talk to people than I realized. Shame on me for JUDGING THEM for being newbies and not knowing how to follow the rules. This is the opposite of my proudest moment lmao 

Whew what a round. BIlly is gone and honestly gonna miss the guy, I think he would have been a great shield for me at early merge, but im not too bothered by it, because Pete is somoene I think I can work with, so like good either way with this one. If we go to tribal again I am going to be in a very awkward position. Because I dont want to vote out sarah and I think the rest of the tribe does, meaning Im gonna need to make a decision if she is gonna be expendable to me or not. ideally we win until a swap but judging by our performances so far... I wouldnt count on it. I think if we did lose Id convince stoner to work with Sarah and to take out one of emma or jacob. I liek them both but at this point Im running out of options. Im sure theyd do the same in my shoes. I'd like a tribe swap, but in the same sense Im a lil scared of a tribe swap too haha.

Reallllyyyyy tired of going to tribal. Kinda scared of billy now 

[tobns]

Greys, for the in-depth fandom questions 😝 (I did them earlier they're fun lol)

 UGH agreed 

Top 5 favourite characters: lexie, mark, cristina, izzie, jacksonOther characters you like: meredith, callie (didn’t like her for a hot second in s7 though), arizona, addison, BAILEY THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING, george, april, karev only in the later seasons when he grows tf upLeast favourite character: burke. get it away from me. Otps: slexie, japril, merder, calzona, alex and izzieNotps: cristina and burke, romantic izzie and george, romantic mark and callieFavourite friendship: i feel obliged to say the twisted sisters, but i really loved lexie and derek’s friendship a lot. also, callie and derek’s friendship. too fucking hilarious in s9Favourite family: the greys Favourite episode: 5x22, 6x22, or the s6 two-parter finale Favourite season/book/movie: season 6Favourite quote: either mark’s advice about love to jackson in s9 or my baby lexie when she’s like “i’m calm, i’m so calm, i’m the calmest person here.” and then twenty seconds later “BACK THE HELL UP, RIGHT NOW.” also, bailey’s speech to the nurses against mark sloan was iconic as hellMoment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: i lost my SHIT when mark came up to lexie and told her she could have a husband, i also got unparalleled chills in the s5 finale when george writes ‘007′ on meredith’s hand and she realizes who he isWhen it really disappointed you: when izzie left for what seemed like no good reason???? WHEN MARK AND CALLIE SLEPT TOGETHER. AGAIN. Saddest moment: when mark’s voice cracks when he tells lexie to stop bc she’s going to be fine, when he starts kissing her hands and telling her he loves her over and over again and his voice cracks once more, when mark sees the body bag on the plane and literally diesMost well done character death: mm, i know this is super random but probably adele webber??? literally one of the most heartbreaking and honest moments in all of s9. that and all the other character deaths were ones i couldn’t stand by Favourite guest star: leven rambin i’m biased she’s my everythingFavourite cast member: chyler leigh, eric dane, sara ramirez, ellen pompeo, kate walsh sarah drew, jesse williams, jerrika hinton, caterina scorsone….i love casts yall you can’t make me pick just one (but if i had to it’d be chyler)Character you wish was still alive: ….do i even have to say itOne thing you hope really happens: everything goes supernatural and all my babies return from the deadMost shocking twist: when george wrote 007 on mere’s hand, i’m still shook tbh. i also didn’t see the merger with mw coming so i suppose that countsWhen did you start watching/reading: october of 2016Trope you wish they would stop using: let’s all just not communicate our wishes and desires before we run off and get married and then fight until we’re blue in the face over it!!! also, everyone leaving and dyingOne thing this show/book/film does better than others: knowing when to bring in new characters and how to make sure you fall in love with the newbies and have them grow on you before they (shonda) start to subtract and addFunniest moments: i’ll limit this to a few if i can–6x03 when lexie goes insane and mark is like why god why me, mark’s reaction when he finds out the blonde he’s hitting on is lexie, meredith confronting lexie in the shower and lexie’s like MERE I’M NAKED AND IN THE SHOWER, george and istan, cristina losing her shoe and no one else seeming to care, cristina when she sees owen and grabs meredith and they take off runningCouple you would like to see: slexie. sorry i’m not sorry.Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: i have literally no idea…i want kim raver back if that counts for anything??Most boring plotline: all of season 4 i don’t know herBest flashback/flashfoward if any: the mark flashbacks in 9x01, and all of 9x02 since it’s pretty much a flashbackMost layered character: ameliaScariest moment: s6 finale my heart was in my assGrossest moment: anything to do with eyes, i can’t stomach it and that’s why i couldn’t like julia was bc OPHTHALMOLOGIST EYES NOPE CAN’T DO ITBest looking male: eric dane or jesse williamsBest looking female: chyler leigh (esp as a blonde, hallelujah amen) or addison montgomeryWho you’re crushing on (if any): i mean…have you seen who they castMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): the mark/lexie kiss in adrift and at peaceUnanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: HOW ONE MINUTE ALL THE INTERNS ARE THERE AND THEN NEXT IT’S LIKE OH LOL ONLY ONE OF YOU IS LEFTAt what point did you fall in love with this show/book: um, one episode in. i knew i was a goner after the train crashed

[sarahbabbles]

Spillin the beans

On today’s brain, I randomly remembered this time I was wronged by one of my closest friends girlfriends (now wife.) so I guess this is my I forgive you moment, because it was pretty bad, and I honestly don’t even know what made me think of it today but it made me so angry for no reason that I had to write about it. 

Story time! 

About 3-4 years ago, probably closer to 4, I had these friends. We can call them Kody and Ciah- to keep their identities underwraps.  We had all been through technical training together and then got stationed here in VA together, so naturally we stuck together- we were great friends. I was married and lived off base, the other two lived in the dorms. Kody was in a serious relationship with a girl that was still in high school (Even took her to prom in his blues, really I can’t make this stuff up.) She was nice, and really pretty, I mean the kind that makes you go how tf did he end up with her? .. So one day he mentioned that she was trying to visit but they could not afford a hotel, and she couldn’t just stay in his dorm room obviously that is technically ‘not allowed’ and also she would be stranded because she can’t buy anything on base while he is at work.. me being the person that I am, invited her to stay with us. She came- she went, the trip was fine, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time talking, just random talk and went shopping for a few things, she helped me take care of my dog- that kind of thing. Obviously she was here to see Kody so most of the time she was with him! Fast forward 6 months to a year ish, and we find out my other great friend Ciah is pregnant! YAY!!! She had been in a serious relationship with this guy Korey for a while now, so we were all excited for her. I am living life as normal, in a shitty marriage (my previous marriage..lol) just taking it day by day, when one day!.. I wake up to a message from Ciah- stating “I would appreciate it if you would stop telling people that I don’t know who the father of my baby is. thanks.” 

HOLD THE PHONE, WHAT? 

Me being the annoyingly need to be liked type of person that I am - asks over and over why she thinks that and tries to prove my innocence, come to find out, Kody’s little girlfriend had told her and him and everyone else I worked with that I said that. So I told Ciah, I haven’t talked to her but maybe twice since she left? I even sent her screenshots of all of our messages as proof... but she wasn’t buying it. Nobody was. I finally got ahold of Creann - the girlfriend of Kody, and asked her wtf was up, why she would blatantly lie and say that I said that when I didn’t even talk to her ever. I was devastated, because I had opened my home to her for FREE might I add so that she could see her boyfriend and been nothing but kind to her, she kept talking around the topic, would never specifically address the statement I was asking why she had made, then she says.... just so you know, you have no friends. They all say you have gonorrhea and talk shit about you all the time. and she was right, I later learned that this had been a rumor going around about me, and nobody did like me, I truly was alone. 

Now I never will know why these lies were spread, except for the Gonorrhea one, I can explain that in a sec. But basically, in my opinion, homegirl was insecure about her relationship because Ciah and Kody were good friends, they never hung out outside of work though, but for whatever reason she told Kody that I said Ciah didn’t know who the father of her child was, insinuating that I had said it could be Kody’s- which is insane, Ciah was WAY out of his league and in love with her boyfriend but whatever.. Eventually, Ciah apologized to me and we talked shit out like adults, but I will never forget that. 

The gonorrhea comment, so my marriage was failing - miserably. My ex husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for over a year, nothing was happening, it had us fighting like crazy, I had gained weight, soooo much weight, and he was extremely hateful to me about it. Anyways, I was going through FERTILITY testing, I had chronic UTIs and a severely underactive thyroid - that later turned into Hashimoto’s ... I had confided in my friend that I had a thyroid disease and the UTI problem because I just needed someone to fucking vent to, ok?- well homegirl got pissed at me over this comment and turned UTI into me being dirty and as the game of telephone works - I ended up with gonorrhea according to my coworkers. It took a really long time to come back for this, but I guess that going through that drama was necessary. 

So, Breann and Cody, (whoops) 

I forgive you. I have thought about this randomly for the last 4 years, and prayed for peace for myself and you each time. Breann, you will never know how badly that time of my life sucked because you took my support system away, you will never know what I went through that year. I lost my husband, my best friend (Ciah), my grandpa died, all in the same fucking year, same fucking 6 month time span actually, and all because of your insecurities. But I forgive you, because now I have the sweetest little family, and the shit you tried to do to wreck me, only made me more ready for the blessings I Was about to receive. For that, I am grateful. I’ll never forget though, I still had those hateful messages you had sent me up until 5 months ago, so I guess that is progress. 

Hope you read this, and I hope you are not still a hateful hag. 

{sarah babbles}