#i am content for the moment though i feel bad for my one friend whom my mental state is entirely reliant on

[lettucedloophole]

lov and peace on planat earth... ✌️

[nightghoul381]

Ellis Twilight ~ Main Route Chapter 10

Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist

Additional Content Warnings: This chapter contains murder and MC injury

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

(I hope they don’t find out…!)

I put on a hat that I had obtained in the area and put it over my eyes.

Jude and Ellis, who were covering their mouths with scarves, step into the casino.

(Both of them obviously don’t look serious, so they’re attracting a lot of attention…)

(They haven’t been found out yet, right?)

The composition shows me sandwiched between two suspicious men whose faces can’t be seen.

On the other hand, there is an added worry that the two people might be mistaken for the kidnappers.

Jake: “Why did you guys dress like that?”

Jude: “…”

Ellis: “…”

Kate: “Ah, um, I think they got cold after being outside for so long!”

Kate: “They said they might not be able to speak for a while because their lips were frozen and their voices were shaking.”

I felt like Jude was cursing under my breath about my excuses.

(I might be wrong, but I thought I heard something like ‘There must’ve been a better lie’…)

Jake: “Oh my god, do take care!”

(Good! He doesn’t seem to be suspicious at all.)

Kate: “Ah, thank you. It’s not that bad, so don’t worry!”

Jake: “Are you physically weak? If you don’t train properly, you won’t be able to make it in the circus!”

Jake laughed cheerfully and patted Jude on the shoulder with his big palm.

Jude: “…”

(Oh, he’s angry…. Let’s pretend I didn’t see it.)

Ellis: “…”

When Ellis looked towards me, he gave me a quick wink as if to say ‘nice follow-up’.

Jake walked deeper into the casino…

When he came to the door where two guards were standing, he took off his hat and bowed.

Jake: “Hey, hey, could you please tell the owner that I’ve brought in another circus friend?”

(…The main culprit of the kidnapping may be beyond the door.)

(Maybe the victims too--)

I took a small breath and entered the room we were lead through.

The eyes of many strong men inside suddenly turned towards me.

Jake: “Sorry I was late for my appointment. I had a wonderful encounter!”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Captain, I’ve been waiting for you! Are you the ones with whom he’s had such a wonderful encounter?”

Jude | Ellis: “…”

(This person is the ‘owner’ of the casino that he was referring to.)

--if our guess is correct, that means he is also the leader of the kidnapping incidents.

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Yet again… it seems you’ve brought in quite a lively bunch.”

A man wearing silver-rimmed glasses stares at us rudely.

(This person is the leader of the kidnapping, right?)

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Both the young lady and the gentlemen, look at the appearance and the luster of their skin…”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “It doesn’t seem that they were lured to the circus because they were hungry for money or fame.”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Why are you interested in the circus?”

(He’s getting suspicious…)

The moment I instinctively read the man’s expression, I heard a click—

(We’ve been locked in the room…!)

Part 2

(We’ve been locked in the room…!)

A feeling of tension filled the room and made my skin tingle.

In the tense atmosphere, Jude and Ellis calmly walked up to the man who seemed to be the owner.

Jude: “I’ve long admired the performances of Mr. Jake Grace, as he made quite the name for himself in the big box office.” 0446

He spoke fluent Queen’s English.

He spoke in such an elegant tone, without any of his usual accent, that for a moment it seemed as though someone else was speaking.

(Wow, he’s like a completely different person… with the way he’s speaking, no one will know who he really is…)

Jude: “However, I am still a little unsure. There’s always something behind every good story.”

Jude: “They say this company will guarantee food, clothing and shelter until the circus is established. Are you the representative?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Yes. I’m the one in charge of investing in Mr. Jake. Although there are higher ups.”

(So this person isn’t the top of the gang either…?)

(I wonder if this is one of the factions within that group.)

Jude: “Are your ‘higher ups’ also aware of this investment?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “… I don’t think it’s necessary for troupe members to know that much.”

Jude glances at Ellis.

Based on my previous experience of business negotiations and chaos that I’ve attended with the two of them, I think this is a matter of ‘taking advantage of one’s position’.

(In other words--)

(That means the fight has begun…!)

The moment Ellis kicked the vase over, I instinctively hid behind the table.

It started when the gang was distracted by the loud noises—

Jude: “Detain the glasses guy. I’ll take care the rest.”

Ellis: “Roger that.”

Just as the gang was able to communicate for a moment before they raised their guns—Ellis kicked the ground lightly.

The next moment, he was using the table as a springboard to jump over the heads of the gang.

(…his movements are amazing, as usual.)

The panicked gang members had no time to adjust their guns before Ellis’ long fingertips touched the head of the man with the glasses…

His wrists were bound together with invisible ropes and he couldn’t move.

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Huh!? W-What is this…?”

Ellis: “This is the end.”

(He restrained the owner in no time. Jude--)

Like a puff of smoke, Jude moved between the men, touching their foreheads.

Immediately the gang members, one by one, fell to the floor, lifeless.

(That’s Jude’s ability…?)

Part 3

(That’s Jude’s ability…?)

(It doesn’t seem like the people he’s touched are dead, though.)

The sight of a person losing consciousness and collapsing, as if a string had been cut, even though he hadn’t punched or kicked them, was so bizarre that it sent a shiver down my spine.

Jake: “W-what? Who are you guys?”

(That’s right, I completely forgot about Jake…!)

He was just being used by the gang.

If that was the case, it would be dangerous for him to be in the middle of this scuffle.

Gang grunt: “Damn it! You brought trouble!”

Kate: “Ngh—”

I saw a gun being pointed at Jake—

Kate: “Look out…!”

Jake: “Whaa!?”

Everything happened so quickly I didn’t have time to think and I rammed into Jake as hard as I could.

Jake stumbled and we fell to the floor—

Kate: “Aah--!!?”

Jake’s huge body suddenly landed on my leg.

I felt a sharp, throbbing pain that took my breath away and caused me to start sweating.

(It hurts…)

Jake: “I-I’m sorry young lady, are you okay!?”

Kate: “Huh, I’m fine…ngh”

(My eyes are blurry due to the pain…)

However, I can’t stay down since there was the possibility of a gun being pointed at us again.

Kate: “Hngh…Hah…”

I desperately tried to lift my body, which screamed with every breath.

Still unable to stand, I lay forward on the floor, raising only my head…

(…! Everyone is unconscious except for the owner.)

Jude’s ability had drowned the room in complete silence.

Ellis held his black bladed knife against the owner’s throat.

(Ellis…)

Ellis: “…”

At that moment, my gaze collided with twilight eyes that were staring worriedly at me lying on the floor.

Seeing the expression on his face like he was about to rush over to me, I hurriedly swallowed the pain and smiled.

(I’m okay!)

If he let the owner run away, we’d be left without any information.

Ellis: “…--”

His twilight eyes were still flickering with anxiety, but Ellis made no attempt to lower the knife.

Jude: “Hey, you.”

Jake: “Huh--?”

Before I knew it, Jude had moved nearby and touched Jake’s forehead.

Jake’s consciousness instantly vanished and his body collapsed on the spot.

Kate: “Why do that to Jake?”

Jude: “It’s a Crown job from now on. If he sees, we’ll kill him too.”

(Crown job--)

Jude moves away from me as my vision wavers from the pain.

With beady eyes hidden behind his glasses, the restrained owner glared up at Jude standing in front of him

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “That accent, the black-bladed guard… You’re the trader who sent one of our executives to prison, aren’t you?”

Jude: “The candidate members, where’d they go?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “…Even if I knew something, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”

Even though there was no one left to help him in the room, the owner had an irreverent smile on his lips.

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “If you kill me, you’ll pay the price. I recommend you back out.”

Jude: “Brilliant. Then die.”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Ha?”

Jude: “If ya won’t spill yer guts, the lowlife thugs around ya will easily give it up if I torture ‘em”

Ellis: “So, it’s okay to kill him?”

Jude: “This bloke’s the owner of the casino and is definitely the one in charge of the kidnappings.”

Jude: “From what he said earlier, the upper echelons of the gang ain’t involved in the kidnappin’.”

Jude: “He’d the guy behind the crime. If he ain’t talkin’, he’s trash.”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “What…!? If you kill me, you’ll make enemies of every gang in London!”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Even the upper echelon won’t give up!”

Jude: “Hah, yer estimatin’ yer worth quite high ain’t ya?”

Jude: “I don’t give a damn ‘bout people who made a mistake by gettin’ involved in bad business without tellin’ their superiors---but yeah.”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “What…”

When Jude noticed the man rendered pale and speechless, his lips curled in amusement.

I remembered Ellis telling me ‘He loves to hear the screams of the people he hates.’

Jude: “I’ll tell ya somethin’ about hell.”

Jude: “No one gets away with killin’ for free.”

Jude: “If you’ve been kidnappin’ and killin’ without knowin’ what yer doin’—you’ll regret it in hell, won’t ya?”

Part 4

Jude: “I’ll tell ya somethin’ about hell.”

Jude: “No one gets away with killin’ for free.”

Jude: “If you’ve been kidnappin’ and killin’ without knowin’ what yer doin’—you’ll regret it in hell, won’t ya?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Ngh… I-I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you everything…!”

In response to Jude’s threat, the owner opened his mouth.

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “The kidnapping was a plan I started to make some money!”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “I stumbled upon Jake who had been drinking himself into a stupor and figured I could take advantage of him…!”

Ellis: “Where are the people who were brought in as potential members now?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “—They were all handed over to human-trafficking brokers.”

Ellis: “Where did they go after you handed them over?”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Probably outside the country. Beyond that I don’t know.”

(That means all of Bill’s acquaintances were sold overseas by dark brokers…)

--If that happened, they’d never be able to come back.

Jude: “Tch… Out of the country. Out of our jurisdiction.”

Ellis: “No matter how hard Victor tries, he won’t be able to find them…”

The two men’s voices deepened in their sense of despair.

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Hey, I spoke! Let me go!”

Ellis gave a cold look at the screaming casino owner.

Ellis: “…I didn’t promise to let you go if you talked.”

Man with silver-rimmed glasses: “Ha…”

Ellis: “Our mission was to put an end to the kidnappings. So…”

Ellis: “We need to condemn the perpetrator.”

Ellis: “We just wanted information because we want to help the victims.”

Ellis: “Just because you gave me the information doesn’t mean you’re innocent, right?”

Ellis: “That’s why I can’t let you go… I’m sorry.”

(Ellis…)

I struggled to listen to the conversation between the three, feeling like I was going to black out from the pain.”

The scenery had become distorted and my head started to go hazy.

But even with all of this in mind, I was clearly aware that at this point, Ellis was going to be getting his hands dirty—

*******************Choices*********************

1. Isn’t there another way?

***2. Ellis…***

3. I have to see this through as fairy tale keeper.

*************************************************

For Her Majesty, who ordered the mission, for the victims and to prevent the number of victims from increasing any further.

Even though I know it’s necessary, I can’t help but feel a tight pain in my heart.

Kate: “Ellis…”

Unable to stop it or watch in silence, I called out his name, and Ellis smiled as if he were troubled.

Ellis: “…Sorry.”

Ellis: “Kate—keep your eyes closed.”

Part 5

Ellis: “Kate—keep your eyes closed.”

(Ngh---Ah…)

A cranberry jam-like redness fills the surrounding area.

Before the smell of blood reached my nostrils—my consciousness was consumed by the darkness.

(…what--)

(What happened to me…?)

I felt like I was being held up by something warm and was swaying back and forth.

I wonder how long I’d been drifting through this ambiguous time… As I slowly regained consciousness—

(I’m…on a bed in the basement?)

When I looked, I saw that a bag filled with ice water had been placed around my calf.

Roger: “There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the bones, but judging by the swelling, it’s highly likely that she’s suffered a muscle tear.”

Roger: “She’ll need to keep still for a few days.”

Ellis: “…”

Jude: “That’s fine. Kidnappin’ case’s been solved, so she can rest easy.”

A familiar voice drifts into my hazy ears.

Roger: “Well, that’s right.”

Ellis: “…Roger.”

Roger: “Hmm? What?”

(Ellis…?)

Ellis’ profile looked extremely anxious, and my chest squeezed tightly.

I’ve seen his worried expressions before, but this is the first time I’ve seen him look so depressed…

Ellis: “Kate will be able to walk properly again, right?”

(…Are you making that face because you’re worried about me?)

Roger: “Ah, she’ll be fine. As long as she rests properly.”

Ellis: “Rests properly…”

Ellis: “…understood.”

(Don’t make that face, I’ll be okay…)

I was about to speak these words, only a faint sigh escaped my lips.

Kate: “Ah…”

Jude | Ellis: “…!”

Ellis, and even Jude, looked surprised and turned toward the bed.

Roger: “Oh, you’re awake, lil lady… Did you by chance hear what I just said?”

Kate: “Yes… I’m sorry I was injured during the mission, and on top of that I won’t be able to move for several days…”

At first, my voice was hoarse and I couldn’t speak well, but gradually my words became clearer.

Ellis: “…Kate, don’t worry about anything.”

After interrupting my words, Ellis sat down on the bed where I was laying.

There was a slight creaking sound, and Ellis filled my field of vision, blocking out the ceiling.

Ellis: “It’s not your fault that you were injured… or that you need to rest.”

Ellis: “Leave everything to me.”

Kate: “…Everything?”

Ellis: “Yeah—”

Ellis: “Everything.”

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[flowerandblood]

My Best Friend (26)

[modern! club owner • Aemond x fem!reader]    

[warnings: smut, sex content, fluff, kissing]

[description: Aemond has his own club and often does business at the home of one of his business associates. There he often meets his younger sister, with whom he develops a deeper relationship through shared secrets. This is slow burn love story.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After much persuasion, Aemond and Y/N agreed to stay at his family home for the night. Aemond went out into the garden, said he needed to calm down. Y/N was standing in the kitchen with his mom after she offered her tea. They drank from their cups in silence, even though the tension of the situation eased, Y/N could see that she was still depressed.

"I didn't know Aemond would take you with him. I'm sorry you had to watch this." She finally said, pressing her lips together in a grimace of sadness and self-pity. Y/N looked at her surprised.

"He didn't want me to go with him. And I didn't want to leave him alone with all this." She said with a shrug. She knew things were bad between them, but she didn't know it was this bad. Aemond's mother looked at her thoughtfully. She looked like a huge weight was on her shoulders.

"Aemond was always a quiet, polite kid. I never had any problems with him. He studied well, read a lot, listened to music, played games. He was very shy. The opposite of Aegon." She began to speak as if she felt she couldn't hold it all in anymore. Y/N listened, shocked and unsure, seeing how desperate she must have been to confide in practically a stranger.

"Aegon and their eldest sister's sons teased him often. He confided this to me, I tried to intervene, but his father always thought it was just innocent childish antics. That Aemond needed to learn to stand up, to be a man." She sighed, shaking her head, rubbing her temple. She closed her eyes for a moment.

"He always helped me with everything. I could always count on him. That's why when Aegon started causing problems and his father pretended that nothing was going on, I asked him for help. I know that I am their mother, that I should ride these brothels." She said, finally looking at her, there was a lot of pain in her gaze. Y/N swallowed softly. "But I was afraid that if I saw my son there, something inside me would burst. That I would start despising my own child completely." She pursed her lips, trying not to cry. "But now I see that I did it at the cost of hurting my second child, who feels used."

There was a long silence. Y/N tried to understand her and knew she had her reasons for doing so, but the truth was that she felt even more sorry for Aemond. Despite all his best efforts, he was primarily an errand boy. She wondered if she should say something. After thinking for a moment, she replied.

"You should talk to him frankly about this. Not about Aegon or his father, but about you. He values you very much as parents." She said calmly, pressing her lips together, hoping she wouldn't find it rude to express her opinion. His mother only smiled at her words.

“Aemond never brought a woman to our house. For many years I was afraid that he would never make it, that he would never fall in love. I'm glad he met you." She finally said, her voice sounding tired but also sincere.

Y/N felt herself blush at those words because she was totally not expecting them. She'd only really seen them together once before, so it was fair to say that she had drawn these conclusions very quickly. Y/N wondered if she was just being polite.

“Thank you for these words. I will go to him." She said finally, feeling that she couldn't focus on the conversation anyway. Her mind was still with him, her stomach choked with remorse that somehow she might have failed him today. His mother nodded in understanding and Y/N started towards the terrace. She slid open the glass door and looked outside. It was completely dark and she had to wait a while to get used to the lack of light and to recognize any silhouettes.

After a moment, she saw Aemond crouching a few meters away, petting a large brown dog that Y/N recognized from a photograph in his apartment. Y/N quietly walked over to the grass, the sight of it made her very emotional for some reason. The female dog sensed her right away, raising her big head. Her nose twitched restlessly, detecting an unfamiliar scent. Aemond glanced at her in surprise.

"Is that Vhagar?" She asked quietly, kneeling a few steps beside them. When she was little, her parents had a large white dog named Nora, that she adored. They always said that the dog should be given space and the opportunity to smell and accept you. Y/N extended her open hand to her and placed it on the grass right in front of her, giving her the opportunity to react and decide.

"Yes." Aemond replied briefly, glancing at Vhagar and her reaction to intervene in case she tried to attack her. However, that did not happen. Vhagar stretched out her big head and placed it close to her hand. She sniffed it for a moment without touching it, then sighed and licked it lightly. Y/N, emboldened, touched her nose with her fingers. Vhagar didn't respond to the gesture, blinking lazily.

It wasn't until up close that Y/N could see how old the dog was. There were large wrinkles under her eyes. She let Y/N pat her head, then turned her full attention back to Aemond, laying down between his legs and sighing loudly. Y/N thought she must have missed him since he was so rarely home.

She wanted to ask him about it, but she could tell by the expression on his face that he was still angry with her. She didn't know how she should behave. She was afraid that whatever she said would only make matters worse. She felt that he didn't want an explanation for her right now, just to show her his frustration, and she understood that. 

She sighed softly, taking a sip of her tea. She rested her chin on her knees, looking at them hugging each other. Aemond stroked Vhagar fur steadily, thoughtfully. He finally looked at her. She couldn't see the anger in his eye anymore, but she knew the tension hadn't left him.

"Sleepy?" He asked suddenly, and she looked at him in surprise. She nodded.

Aemond stood up and patted Vhagar, who immediately stood with him, looking at Y/N.

"Come." He spoke softly and she nodded and followed him. They went up the stairs and down the corridor. Aemond opened the door at the far right end and let her go in first. 

He turned on the light and Y/N saw a room ahead of her that might have belonged to a teenage boy. Posters of various rock bands hung around, a guitar stood in the corner of the room, various books, game consoles, boxes and cardboard boxes stood on the shelves.

"Is this your room?" She asked quietly, looking around curiously. Despite the whole situation, she was somehow glad that she had the opportunity to see his family home and the place where he grew up.

"Yes." He replied calmly, looking melancholy at the interior. He thought for a moment, looking at his bed, and turned to her without looking at her. "This bed is small, you'd better sleep here alone. Grab a T-shirt from my drawer. I'll sleep downstairs on the couch."

His words hurt her deeply, and she thought he saw it in her eyes, because his expression changed as if he suddenly regretted his words. But he looked away and added nothing more. Y/N swallowed, but didn't dare defy him any more. They stood there for a moment in awkward silence.

"Good night." He finally said softly, turning to leave and closing the door behind him. Y/N burst into tears as soon as he left, but she covered her mouth to keep it from being heard. Since they started dating, they never slept apart. It was unthinkable for him. She could guess how furious he must have been with her to refuse her even that.

But she wondered if it was just her, or if this room reminded him of the events of eight years ago and the woman who had tried to take advantage of him. She tried to console herself that maybe that was the only reason for his decision, but she thought it was just her wishful thinking. Dejected, she began to pace the room. In one of the pictures hanging on the wall, she saw Aemond with both eyes. He was still a child then, maybe 10 years old. It was a very strange sight for her.

Resigned, she found T-shirts in one of his wardrobes and put on the first one that fell into her hands. She turned off the light and got under the covers, deep in thought. For the first half hour she tried to sleep, but all she felt was a pain in her heart and a tightness in her chest. She still wondered if she should have left Aegon and gone with him. Do what he wanted. Some part of her, however, couldn't believe that it would be good and would help in any way. But that didn't change how awful she felt.

She rolled over on the bed once more and sat up. She found herself unable to bear it. She tought that she had to come down to him and lie down beside him, and if he kicked her out, she'd come back upstairs. She wanted to at least try, she felt that she wouldn’t sleep well at night without feeling him at least next to her.

Quietly, she opened the door to his bedroom and made her way down the dark corridor. The lights were off all over the house and it was completely silent. Y/N started to walk down the stairs gently, trying not to make any sound. Halfway there, she saw the living room and the couch where Aemond lay. The light from the street lamps outside shone on him.

She saw his face and that he was awake. His eye was open, he was staring thoughtfully at a point on the wall. The step creaked beneath her foot, and he shuddered suddenly, startled, jumping to a sitting position. Seeing her, he sighed softly. She herself was scared for some reason, as if he had caught her in the act of doing something wrong.

"What happened?" He asked quietly, looking at her surprised. Y/N pursed her lips.

"I can’t fall asleep." She replied in a whisper, her hands clasping the balustrade. He looked at her for a moment and sighed, uncovering the covers so she could lie down next to him. Her heart beat faster at the sight. On legs as soft as cotton, she walked downstairs and headed for the couch. She lay down next to him. There was little space on it, their bodies and faces practically touching. Aemond looked at her.

"I'm afraid you won't be more comfortable here." He spoke casually, but she felt something change in his voice. She felt his arms against her skin, his scent filling her nostrils. She thought she wanted him and swallowed softly.

"That doesn’t matter." She said, her lips parted slightly. She saw him glance at them, unable to stop himself, and swallowed hard, looking away. Y/N felt she had to say something. “I know I was selfish today and didn't help you at all. I know I didn't do what you asked me to do, and you have every right to be angry with me. I'm very sorry that I disappointed you. I hope you'll forgive me someday." She said softly, lowering her eyes. She felt him flinch at her words, his face hardened. He didn't answer.

However, Y/N decided that he was under no obligation to answer anything. She thought that maybe he needed time to think it all over, to put it into words that made sense. She pressed her forehead against his neck and closed her eyes. His closeness, even if she couldn't hug him, was a great comfort for her. She heard Aemond draw in a quicker breath. They lay in silence for several minutes and Y/N slowly began to fall asleep. She was roused from her half-sleep by his soft voice, for a moment she wasn't sure if she was really hearing it or if it was just a dream.

"I shouldn't have taken you there." He said turning his head towards her so that their faces were almost touching. "I don't want you talking to Aegon except for basic politeness or when it's necessary or unavoidable. Can you do that for me?" His face was all tense, his voice trembled as he uttered the last sentence. Y/N blinked in surprise, her eyes misty and sleepy.

"Yes." She said softly. Aemond's mouth parted slightly at the words and he let out a soft breath. He raised a hesitant hand and brushed a strand of hair from her face behind her ear. The gesture sent shivers down her spine. He felt it because his gaze shifted and he leaned over her, brushing her lips. Y/N moaned softly, she needed it like water, felt the space between her thighs tighten against this wonderful feeling.

She put her hand in his hair and pressed his face to hers, their lips connected in a kiss full of despair, regret and longing. They caressed each other's wet lips, stroking and touching each other, catching their breath once in a while, pressing more and more against each other. She was surprised at how hard he was already. She decided that he must have been aroused even when she lay down next to him. Y/N put her leg on his thigh and they both sighed, starting to rub against each other more and more.

"You drive me to despair." He whispered into her mouth, and she shuddered at the sudden confession. His hand gripped her breast, caressing it and kneading it lightly between his fingers, and she moaned softly. "I can't even sleep without you anymore."

In one swift motion, he took off her panties. She moaned loudly, but he covered her mouth with his, pulling away with a loud brush. "We wouldn't want anyone to hear us, would we?" He asked, excitement evident in his voice. "I have never fucked any woman in my house."

Y/N shivered at his words, feeling it literally leak from between her thighs. She stared at him with hazy eyes, and he lifted her shirt up to get a good look at her breasts. She heard him slip off his tracksuits and pull her to him. They lay sideways, facing each other, their tongues touching hungrily, their quarreling making them need sex even more.

Aemond slid his cock between her thighs, rubbing it with her juices. He moaned low as he felt so much of it flowing out. It turned him on even more, he felt that he was on the edge, he didn't even have the strength to tease her. He slid the tip of his cock into her entrance and they both moaned into each other's mouths, feeling how hot and thirsty they were. Aemond slid inside her in one confident motion, and Y/N tilted her head back in delight. She could feel him throbbing inside her, as feverish as she was.

"How wonderful to feel you inside me." She whispered softly, and he flinched at the words with a groan and began to fuck her, hard and fast, without warning. His sudden and brutal pace surprised her, but also made her even more aroused. Knowing that he was as desperate as she was for a shared fulfillment warmed her heart. They kissed and hugged, running their hands all over their bodies, his one hand gripping her buttocks tightly, his hips setting a hard, aggressive pace that made them both dizzy.

They shuddered and froze as they heard someone upstairs open the door and start down the stairs. They were both covered with a duvet, so from the outside it looked like they were just cuddling. They both closed their eyes as they heard a person go to the kitchen and turn on the light there, apparently wanting to pour himself some water.

Y/N, terrified, tried to lift herself up and free herself from his grip, but Aemond impaled her more, preventing her from moving. She parted her lips in a silent moan and tightened her fingers on his back as she felt him slowly and unhurriedly begin to move inside her again. She shook her head, what little of her common sense wanted him to stop, but the rest of her responded to his movements, waves of pleasure rippling through her body. The fact that they might be caught made them both on the verge of orgasm.

Aemond pressed her buttock tighter against him, moving a little faster so the couch wouldn't creak as it brushed against her point of greatest pleasure. She felt that a few more thrusts from him and she would come, and he tried his hardest not to gasp, feeling her wonderfully clench on him, close to orgasm.

She looked at him imploringly, but his gaze was dark and implacable. He punished her for her disobedience and at the same time rewarded her for her love and devotion. He entered her a few more times, and she pressed her face and mouth to his neck, squeezing her eyes shut, waves of heat and pleasure spilling over her body, breathing shallowly, feeling her whole body tighten just to keep from moaning loudly.

She felt his hands gripping her body tighter, his movements becoming more and more irregular, and he breathed softly, his warmth spreading inside her, he hid his face in her hair. Convulsions went through their bodies, they pressed against each other, trying to survive together this wonderful, shared pleasure without any sounds. They froze as someone finally turned off the light and headed back up. All they could hear was their rapid breathing and the pounding of their hearts.

They didn't even have the strength to tease each other or comment on what they had just done. They fell asleep after several minutes in tight embraces, finally calm, soothed by each other's closeness.

_____

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[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

find the one who fills your heart (even if i'm not the one you chose) - chapter one: the beginning, the middle, and the end

Work summary: Before Luke Alvez, Penelope Garcia was in love with Emily Prentiss. The two women were together for four years, and then Emily moved to London, effectively closing the door on any future together that they may have had. What did that relationship look like? How did Penelope react, heal, recover? What did their friendship look like after? And how, after Penelope promised herself never to get involved with a co-worker or friend ever again, does Luke become the man to love that woman after heartbreak?

Chapter summary: How Penemily got together, how Penelope dealt with the fake death, their final breakup before Emily goes to London.

Notes: Penemily in the first chapter, Garvez endgame, Past one-sided Jemily, Past one-sided Moreid, Joke about Ralvez, Future/implied future Temily (I really jammed every ship in here that I could.) Normally, it's my pet peeve when people tag ships that aren't in the fic yet, but I tagged Garvez so it shows up in the tag and people can read as it progresses and know what to expect. Luke shows up in the end of the next chapter, but the Garvez content doesn't really start until the end of the third. You are not going to like Emily in this fic. THAT IS NOT TO SAY I DON'T LIKE EMILY! In fact I (am in) love (with) her. But she is the anti-hero of this fic. I do hope that, even though it isn't Garvez right away and Emily's OOC, you still like the story and stick with it and me. I ask that you trust me as I enter a bit of an angst era with this fic and one of my upcoming one-shots. There will be moments in our near future where you think "Darcy, what the FUCK" but I beg of you to stick with me.

Chapter word count: 2144

Can also be read here on Ao3

Emily knew falling for JJ was a bad idea. Especially once they all figured out she was secretly flying off to New Orleans every weekend to visit Will.

That was when she started confiding in Penelope. Penelope wasn't always known for being great at keeping secrets, but that was because people only knew the small ones she couldn't keep in because she was too busy keeping in the big ones. Like that. Penelope would never tell a soul what Emily confided in her about her feelings for JJ. Especially considering Penelope was the only person on the team to whom Emily confessed that she was a lesbian. Penelope would never out her friend.

Something Emily didn't know was that, while Penelope was glad to comfort her friend, Emily's rantings and ravings about JJ were killing her. Penelope had been attracted to the dark-haired woman since she had met her, and would have been lying if she said some deeper feelings hadn't come from that. Eventually, Emily's feelings for JJ seemed to fade, and their weekly unpacking session turned into her and Penelope simply hanging out. Emily cherished every second with the beautiful tech analyst.

When Penelope told Emily about her date with the guy from the coffee shop and how Morgan was being a prick about it, Emily was happy for her friend, even if there was a spark of jealousy in her chest.

That spark of jealousy was quickly replaced with fear and anger when Penelope was shot. Emily vowed to herself that if Penelope made it through, she'd tell her how she felt. Even if Penelope didn't return Emily's feelings, at least she knew where Emily stood. At least there would be no secrets. People like Penelope Garcia deserved to know that someone carried a torch for them.

Emily volunteered to stay with Penelope in her apartment to protect her. Morgan tried to protest, but Penelope begged him to let Emily stay. She needed her.

“I just thought he liked me,” Penelope sobbed into Emily's shoulder. 

“Of course you did,” Emily soothed, stroking Penelope's hair. “Who wouldn't?” 

“Who wouldn't what?” 

“Like you,” Emily clarified.

Penelope scoffed. “Well, I'm sure I can think of a few people.” 

Emily looked her dead in the eye. “Like who?” Don't say me. Don't you dare say me.

The emotion in Emily's eyes took Penelope by surprise and gave her pause. “I. I don't know anymore.”

Emily knew she probably shouldn’t, Penelope had just been through an intense trauma and likely didn’t want or need anything other than a friend. Regardless, Emily found herself leaning forward, leaning in, closer and closer to Penelope’s face. Their noses brushed, and Emily waited. She needed a sign from Penelope that she was okay with this. 

Penelope leaned forward a bit more so their lips were a hair’s breadth apart, and closed her eyes.

Emily kissed her.

Emily and Penelope knew it was a risk to be together, so they kept it a secret. Penelope pointed out that she never went into the field, which was normally the main concern, and that, since Penelope was suspended during the investigation and had to then be reinstated, they were technically a pre-existing couple and therefore couldn’t be touched. Emily argued that being out and queer in the FBI could be very risky for them, and they could both be fired for that alone. She said they should keep it a secret, and if their team found out so be it, but they didn’t need to tell anyone. They shouldn’t. Blindly in love, Penelope agreed.

There were a few times when they were worried they were almost found out, over-the-phone comments that were a little too risky. Fortunately for them, Penelope’s reputation for being flirty with everyone saved them the exposure.

Penelope begged Emily for years to tell their team, positive they’d be met with nothing but love and support. Emily refused every time, not ready to be out yet. Penelope understood, of course. It hurt her, at times, to hear people joking about Emily dating cops who flirted with her on cases. JJ begged Emily for a reason why she wouldn’t, but Emily never budged. Never revealed that her reason was standing right beside her, desperate to hold her hand in public. But no matter how much it hurt, Penelope loved Emily too much to give her up. She’d rather keep her a secret for the rest of her life than lose her.

About three and a half years into their relationship, there were talks of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” being repealed. Penelope was so excited, thinking it meant she and Emily could finally be together publicly. And then Emily died. 

“She never made it off the table.”

Those were the words that rang in Penelope’s head for weeks. The woman she loved so deeply was gone. Gone for good. Morgan came over to comfort her a lot, and she was glad for him. Glad that he was the one Emily had in her final moments.

“I loved her,” Penelope sobbed in his arms. 

“I know,” he said, holding her and running his hand up and down her back to soothe her. “We all did.”

“No, you don’t understand,” she persisted. “I loved her. We were together.”

Morgan’s eyes went wide. “Oh. How long?”

“Three and a half years.”

“And you never told anyone?”

“I wanted to. She was too scared. And now we’ll never get to.”

For seven months, Penelope mourned the woman she thought to be the love of her life. She and Morgan worked tirelessly to try to find Ian Doyle, to avenge the death of the woman Penelope held so dear. The universe seemed to be determined to make sure that she knew her story with Emily could never be easy, because just when she thought she was finally moving on, Emily came back, never having died at all. 

Penelope was frozen in her seat as Emily, as beautiful as ever, walked into the round table room. They locked eyes, and Penelope’s heart started pounding again, like it hadn’t beat at all after not being able to love Emily for seven months. Emily hugged them all, holding Penelope tighter than most. They would have time to talk about them, their relationship, what it all meant, later. For the moment, they had bigger fish to fry.

Emily didn’t have anywhere to stay after Doyle was at last taken down for good, so Penelope didn’t even blink. “You can stay with me.”

Emily was visibly relieved. “Really? It’ll just be until I find a place of my own.”

“Of course! I missed you so much, Emily. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

“I missed you too. All of you.”

The second they were in the door they were kissing, tears streaming down both their faces. 

“I’m sorry,” Emily gasped between kisses. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave. Not you. Never you. I love you, Penelope, so much. I needed to protect you.”

“I know. I love you too. I’m not mad. I’m just glad that you’re here, safe, alive. Back with me.”

Hours later, when the two women were holding each other in bed, Penelope decided to broach the subject. “You know you don’t ever have to leave, right? You can stay here? Live with me? We can finally tell people? I mean Morgan knows because I told him after you died, but he’d never tell a soul—”

“Penelope.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to stay, I do, but I need to build myself back up again. I need to be able to live here on my own again without fearing for my life every two seconds.”

Penelope nodded. “I get that, whatever you need, just know you’re always welcome here. And… what about telling people?”

Emily sighed. “Maybe let us all re-adjust to me being alive again before we drop another bomb on them?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. But we are still together, right?”

“Oh, yeah, always. I love you.��

“I love you too.”

As time went on, Penelope was starting to realize that it was all just more of the same. She and Emily were flirty friends at work and lovers at home, and no one knew. But then Emily bought a house. Not an apartment, a house. A place where they could live together. Have pets. Maybe even have children one day. Those were the plans, at least.

“Clyde Easter called me,” Emily said, the night before JJ’s wedding.

“Oh? What did he want?”

“Well, I guess technically I called him. He helped us identify the bank robbers. But he offered me the Unit Chief position of the Interpol office in London.”

Penelope scoffed. “You work for Interpol again? That’ll be the day.”

“Yeah, that’s what I told him…”

Penelope knew her girlfriend’s voice well enough to know when something was off. “You okay, honey?”

“Just tired, I guess. Today was… a lot.”

“That’s putting it mildly. Let’s just go to bed. We’re going to have a long night tomorrow.”

“Mm, very true.” 

Penelope fell asleep quickly, but Emily less so. Work for Interpol? As she had told Clyde, she had no interest in that. But lead it… the BAU hadn’t felt the same since coming back. That could be exactly the change of pace she needed, and it was getting more and more appealing by the minute.

The following night, at JJ’s wedding, Penelope was too busy drinking and dancing and celebrating to notice that Emily wasn’t. To notice that Emily was saying goodbye.

The next day, when Emily sat Penelope down for a serious conversation, Penelope had no idea how much her world was about to change. She thought maybe Emily was about to ask her to move in officially, or say that she was ready to tell everyone. Maybe JJ and Will’s wedding had her thinking of having a wedding of their own. She couldn’t have been more wrong.

“I’m going to London.”

“Oh? Like, for work? Do they need your help for a case?”

“No, Penelope.” Emily paused for a moment, trying to figure out a way to gently explain it in a way that bore no room for understanding. “I’m moving to London. I’m taking the Unit Chief position.”

To say Penelope was shocked would be the understatement of the century. “What? But I thought you didn’t want to work for Interpol again.”

“It wouldn’t be the same. I’d be leading, and I need a change of pace. The BAU just isn’t the same for me anymore. I can’t keep doing it.”

“Then do something here!” Penelope argued. “You have an incredibly impressive resumé, you could go anywhere, do anything!”

“My mind is made up. I’m going to London. I’ve already let them know.”

“Without even talking to me?”

“It’s my life.”

“We’re partners, Emily, it’s our life. Did you just expect me to pack up and move to London with you because you just decided you were going?”

“I mean, kind of. I thought we could start our life there…”

“When you won’t even acknowledge our relationship here? Have a life with me here? No, Emily, I’m not going. Here I have this team, this job, this family. I don’t have anything in London!”

“You’ll have me!” Emily argued. “Am I not enough for you to go?”

“Am I not enough for you to stay?” Penelope shot back. “Emily, you are asking me to move to another continent and build a completely new life. I am asking you to stay and keep the life you already have. Those are not the same thing.”

“I need a fresh start.” 

“I need you!”

“I’m going.”

“I’m not coming with you.” They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes. It was Penelope who finally broke it. “So is this the end, then? Really the end? Not kind-of-the-end-because-you-faked-your-death-and-I-didn't-know end, but the end end?”

“We could do long distance?”

Penelope choked a laugh over her tears. “When I'm not ever going and you're not ever coming back? That doesn't make sense, Emily, tell me you see that!”

Emily was fighting back tears of her own. “Then yeah. I guess this is the end.” 

“So that's just it, then? Four years down the drain because you need a change of pace? We were supposed to be it, we were supposed to have a life together, we were supposed to last in the long run.”

Emily shrugged. “I guess this was the long run.” 

“In what world is four years ��the long run?’ You know what, actually, forget it. I'm not going to keep begging you to change your mind. Are we done?”

“Honestly, Penelope, as much as I don't want us to be, I don't see a way that we aren't.” 

Penelope nodded once, lips pressed in a tight line. “Okay, then. Goodbye.”

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Dream Eater - Chapter 16 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

"Take me there," I demand, shaking Damien by the front of his shirt.

"Take me there, right fucking now."

"Alex, stop," Damien grabs my shoulders and holds me still.

"We can't just rush in. We need a plan."

"Fuck plans. We need to save Dante before that sick fuck does anything worse to them."

"I know, and we will," he says, his grip on my arms tightening just enough to hurt.

"We will, Alex. But we can't just walk in there and give Azael what he wants. Too much is at stake. Please... just give us a chance to come up with a strategy, at the very least. It won't take long."

"For Dante's sake, it better not," I say, glaring.

He flinches and releases me and suddenly I don't think I can stand up any more.

I move away and sit on the edge of the large fountain in the center of the open courtyard.

I don't hear much of what's said after that.

Allannan pulls the cloth back over its grisly contents but I can't take my eyes from it or stop thinking about how Azael might be making more like it even now.

It feels like hours pass but it actually doesn't take long to come up with a plan, though no one claims its a very good one.

Damien and I will go first, meeting Azael at the spot he specified.

Then, Oran and the Vanguard, along with a host of Carnâki soldiers, will follow, entering the area a short distance away.

They'll flank Azael's troops and then launch a surprise attack.

In the chaos, Damien is supposed to get me and Dante the fuck out of there.

As eager as I am to get to Dante, I'd be lying if I said I'm not afraid.

My stomach feels like it's home to a nest of squirming snakes by the time everyone is in agreement and ready to act.

Damien sees it in my eyes when he joins me by the fountain.

He takes my hand and squeezes it lightly.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I ask.

Allannan hadn't read that part aloud.

"Some remote forested area in Russia," he says.

"The sort of place where meteors can crash and hardly anyone notices."

After a moment, I say what's been on my mind.

"Damien, if the plan doesn't work... if Azael forces me to open the Door... will you stop me?"

He looks down at me with eyes like pools of night.

"It'll work," is all he says.

Enough of the Vanguard are sufficiently powerful to travel between realms with three or four other people that a sizeable force of Carnâki soldiers is able to accompany us.

Both groups stand at the ready, Oran at their head.

He grasps Damien by the arm and wishes us luck.

"I'll see you on the other side, old friend," Oran says and I wonder if he knows how ominous that sounds.

From the grim look he gives us, I think he might.

"Alex," he says to me.

"I'm sorry. You're a brave lad and a true friend. Key or not... demon, human, Celestial or all three... you're a good man and I hope if we all come out of this alive you can forgive me my misplaced prejudice. May Manāt smile on your fate."

I'm not sure what the proper response is, so I go with the ever smooth reply of...

"Er, you too."

Then it's time.

Damien pulls me against him and presses his lips to my hair.

"I love you, Alex. I wish everything would just leave us alone and let me love you. I wish..."

"I know," I say.

"I love you, too."

I close my eyes and kiss him and the blue fire takes us away.

The shift isn't so bad this time and I'm able to keep my feet for once, though only by leaning heavily on Damien.

When I open my eyes, I see we're in a wide clearing among tall pines.

Patchy snow covers the ground and the sky overhead is the flat grey-white that promises more is on the way.

The air carries a stinging cold and I realize I'm badly underdressed in my thin Carnâki tunic and soft, suede leggings.

Turning, I see Azael at the other end of the clearing.

He's standing before a high stone arch and he's flanked by half a dozen other people, among whom I recognize Yakketh and Maliel, long fiery blades in hand.

Dante is there too and except for a bandage on their right arm, they look pretty much okay.

"Dante."

I take a stumbling step towards them but Damien keeps a tight grip on my arm.

"Not so fast," he whispers.

"We have to give Oran time."

I manage to get myself under control and walk as steadily as I can at his side.

Azael and his party walk towards us as we approach, until we both stop with about ten feet between us.

"Dantalian," he says, smirking.

"Here we are again. I'd have thought that watching me destroy your lover once would have been enough but I suppose a masochist enjoys a Hell of their own making."

Now it's my turn to hold Damien back or try.

"Don't," I hiss.

"He doesn't deserve the satisfaction."

Damien smoothed his features into a cold mask.

"Azael. We've come for Dante. Let them go."

Azael shakes his head.

"First, the Key."

I look at Damien and hope he can see in my eyes that I trust him, if only to do what he must.

"It's okay," I say and pull my hand from his grip.

Turning, I walk towards Azael.

I go as slow as I can, partly because I'm terrified, partly because I'm still unsteady from crossing realms and it would be really uncool to fall over right now.

When I'm within arm's reach, he grabs me and pulls me against him, turning me so I'm facing away.

He wraps a massive arm over my chest and slides his hand down to my hip.

I know he's doing it to goad Damien and it looks like it's working.

Blue fire races over Damien's body and I can see the faint shadows of great wings at his back.

I try to convey something along the lines of 'don't go berserk yet' with my eyes but I'm probably too far away for it to really get across.

"You have what you want. Now let Dante go," I say.

He bends to speak in my ear and I shiver with revulsion as his hot breath gusts against my skin.

"As you wish."

He gives a sign and Dante is pushed forward.

They look at me with an expression of love and fear that breaks my heart.

There are tears on their face.

"You shouldn't have come, Alex," they say.

"Why did you have to come?"

I shake my head.

"Because I had no choice, Dante," I say.

"You're my best friend."

They give me a watery smile as Damien pulls them to his side.

"How touching," Azael drawls.

"And now what, Damien? What are you waiting for? Reinforcements, perhaps? You'll be waiting a while. This whole area is sealed. Yakketh and Maliel completed it just as you arrived."

He nods to them.

"Show him."

The two female Fallen step forward and raise their long, thin blades above their heads.

They let the tips cross and suddenly the sky turns crimson as a great dome of interwoven magic spreads downward from its zenith to join the ground.

It must be miles across.

"Nothing in, nothing out," Azael says.

"I can't risk the powers of the Abyss getting loose before I'm ready, after all."

Damien's wings grow more solid and the blue sword of flame takes shape in his hand.

"Damien. No." I shout.

I know he's strong and powerful but the odds are seven to one and I don't know if he could even beat Azael alone.

"Shh," Azael hushes me as I struggle.

"Never fear. He's safe, even from himself. Look."

At Damien's feet, another, smaller seal appears and I see that he and Dante are standing in the center of a circle of intricate symbols.

He takes a step forward but he can't cross beyond its edge.

"Damien..."

"Don't worry. I have no reason to harm him or your friend. I'll let them go once I have what I want."

"I don't believe you," I say.

"I know. But you'll believe this. If you don't give me what I want, you can watch them both die."

Yakketh and Maliel have moved to either side of the seal and their blades are raised and ready.

Damien and Dante are both shouting at me.

I can't seem to hear them past the roaring sound in my ears but I know what they're saying.

They're telling me not to do it.

Not to save them.

Not to sacrifice a world for the sake of their lives.

I'm too selfish to listen.

"All right," I whisper.

"You win. I'll do it."

I feel Azael's deep laugh.

He turns us to face the great stone arch and speaks low and soft at my back.

"And now, Alex, my lovely broken Key... open me a Door."

[buttercream-squad-imagines]

Tinder in Real Life

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Sidemen x platonic!Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Language some people may find offensive, sexual themes, recycled lines from Sidemen Tinder in Real Life because I'm not at all creative Request: Hey! Could you do reader x Harry imagine where the sidemen do a collab video with the reader who is also a big youtuber and Harrys celebrity crush. And during the video the reader is very flirty, leaving Harry a flustered mess when the flirting is directed towards him, but very jealous when its with any other sidemen.

The Sidemen were one of the biggest groups on YouTube and one that you were very familiar with. At the age of 23, you were a fair bit younger than some of its oldest members but yet you had a close relationship with JJ, whom you had met through YouTube.

You had started your channel when you were 17, just under four years ago, making makeup videos, which was a passion of yours when you were younger. Not that you were any good at it back then. Those videos quickly become unlisted when your channel started blowing up in late 2016, now nearing 20 million at the present time.

It wasn't long before you expanded your horizons and had started making different sorts of videos, including vlogs of your everyday life - which wasn't and still isn't that exciting in your opinion - and those where you just had a laugh, attempting to do stupid challenges that were so popular back then. It was those, however, that grew your channel. Your fans seemed to love them and so you gradually started to make more.

As your small channel began to grow significantly, it caught the attention of KSI, a member of the Sidemen, who reached out to you to for a collab. You were ecstatic. You couldn't believe it at the time, why would someone like KSI with 20 million subscribers want to collaborate with you? By that time, you couldn't exactly call yourself a small channel anymore, with almost 5 million subscribers but it still didn't make any sense to you.

You and JJ quickly bonded after filming together. You had a very similar sense of humour and interests. As the years went, the older boy became one of your best friends, the nature of your relationship being very teasing and flirtatious but the both of you knew it was a joke. It was just the way you both were.

Though despite having known him for nearing 3 years now, you had never met the rest of the Sidemen, with the exception of Simon, as he lived with JJ. Which is why when he texted asking you to collaborate with the Sidemen, you couldn't turn the offer down. You were a fan of the group and the content they were producing. You thought the videos that they made were exceptional, that they were pushing the envelope of the standard of content on YouTube and often found yourself excited for new videos.

He had explained that they were filming another of their 'Tinder in real life' but a YouTuber version with the likes of BambinoBecky and ChiWithAC. You were so excited. You were finally going to meet the rest of JJ's friends and you had the opportunity to be a part of a Sidemen Sunday.

You arrived at the studio the boys were filming at in the afternoon, finding and greeting JJ before he introduced you to the other sidemen in addition to Lux, Freezy and Stephen.

"And you've already met Simon." He finished.

"Yeah. Nice to finally meet you all. JJ tells me a lot about you guys." You laughed.

"Because that's assuring." Ethan pointed out with a chuckle, the other boys letting out agreements.

"Not all bad, I promise." You teased, winking at him. Ethan felt the blood rushing to his face, immediately becoming flustered and stumbling over his words. You found that you often had that effect on people as you could be very direct and flirtatious even when you didn't mean it. To you it was just friendly banter.

"Geez Y/N, stop flirting with people you met literally five minutes ago." JJ rolled his eyes.

"You sound a bit jealous, Jide." You smirked, a teasing grin spread across your face.

"Nah, allow it." There were eruptions of laughter around the room, coming from the boys. You were quick to notice Harry standing out of the way and was significantly quieter than the others, with what seemed to be a forced smile on his face.

Harry was in his own head, barely paying attention to what was going on around him. When JJ had told him that you were going to be in the next Sidemen video, he panicked. You were an accomplished YouTuber who he was quite fond of to say the least. Well, that would be an understatement, he had a fairly large crush on you. A crush that no one but Freezy and Lux knew about.

He knew that JJ had been friends with you for some time now but never considered the possibility of even meeting you. His anxiety acted as a barrier to even the thought of it. But he was currently in the same room as you and had said nothing more than a short 'hello'. He longed to have the confidence Ethan had to speak to you, even more so for you to look at him the way you were.

Already you were flirting with JJ and Ethan, something that caused a pit to form at the bottom of his stomach. He wouldn't admit it, but he could slowly feel the jealousy forming. Not that he had anything to be jealous about in the first place!

You continued to speak with the boys as you got your mic set up, telling them stories you were sure would embarrass JJ.

"Y/N, stop." The older boy whined. He could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of his more endearing qualities. He simply wouldn't be JJ if he wasn't.

"No, carry on." Simon laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." You teased.

"I think it's time we started, don't you think?" Harry grumbled.

"Right." You smiled at the boy, who's cheeks became tinted red. He ducked to hide his face and walked around to stand in the line, hiding himself in the middle.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I'm 23 and I'm from Y/H/T." You spoke to the camera once you were given the go ahead.

"I'm Simon, I'm 28. I like to practice safe sex."

"Always a good start."

"I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off." He finished with a giggle. You acted like you were pondering it for a moment before letting out a laugh and swiping right.

"I'm down for that." You teased. The boys all let out rumbles of laughter

"Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 26 and kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right."

"What would you rather?" You joked. Ethan shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to the board, sticking his head through with his lips puckered, eliciting a cry of protest from Harry that this wasn't allowed. You laughed and made an over exaggerated motion to swipe to the right, causing him to pout playfully but walked over to the right anyway.

"Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 28. KSI has a top ten single, but you're the only hot single I can see."

"Wow, that was smooth!" You said with a grin. "Definite yes from me."

"I'm Callum, I'm 26. Are you into fitness?" Freezy asked.

"Can't say I am." You replied, unsure of what turn this could take.

"How about you fitness dick in your mouth?"

"I wouldn't get too excited babes, I gag on my toothbrush." You laughed. "We could try though."

You swiped right on him, chuckling as you watched him let out a yes before joining Simon, Ethan, and Josh. You frowned slightly, a crease forming between your brows as you saw Harry whisper something furiously at his friend but ultimately got distracted by Vik stepping up to go next.

"I'm Vik, I'm 25. My ex-girlfriend always said I'd never do better than her, wanna prove her right?" You could hear the cries of the boys in the background, some scolding him, others laughing.

"Man actually said prove her right. Not wrong." JJ shrieked with a shocked look on his face, holding his head with his hands.

"You need to find someone for that." You snarked, swiping left on the boy, who shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! You got told!" Lux cackled.

"Uh hi. I'm Harry. I'm uh 25, no I'm not I'm 24." He stumbled. "Are you sure you're a muggle? Because that ass is magical."

"You should see how magical it can be." You spoke before cringing at yourself and laughing, swiping right to avoid a reply. The boy's face grew a bright shade of red, closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

"Geez, is that an offer?!" Freezy yelled from the right side. You laughed, observing how Harry whispered furiously to the boy to stop and winked at him once he had could see. Your laughter only increased as you watched JJ step up.

"I'm JJ. I'm 28 and are you a raisin? Cause you're raising my dick." The boy in question stood in front of you so confidently, hands clasped together in front of him so seriously that you just lost it. By the time you composed yourself, there were tears almost falling from your eyes.

"A* for effort." You laughed, swiping right eliciting a cry of success.

You had wrapped up filming your segment of the video, which conveniently was the last of the day. You found JJ who you spoke to whilst the other boys were otherwise occupied talking to each other.

"Cheers for coming, Y/N/N. You've been great."

"Anything for you." You joked.

"Don't tempt me." He laughed. You could feel eyes on you, eyes that were burning into your side. You turned your head to see Harry staring you and JJ down before looking away after being caught in the act, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Does Harry not like me or something?" You whispered to JJ, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Not that I know of." He frowned looking at the younger boy. "He can be a bit awkward at times and gets flustered a lot."

"Right." You agreed. You excused yourself before sauntering up to the boy in question, calling his name to snap him out of the daze he appeared to be in.

"Oh, um hey Y/N." He stumbled.

"Hi." You smiled gently. "I uh, I was just wondering, do you... have I done something to offend you?"

"Offend me? Why, uh, why would you think that?" He rambled.

"It's just... it's nothing, it's probably just me overthinking things." You waved it off, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I don't like you. I don't not like you, in fact I really like you! Oh, um I mean I like you, you're very pretty." The boy couldn't stop rambling which made you laugh. "No, wait."

"You think I'm pretty?" You blushed interrupting him. Harry felt his mouth go dry, not being able to get anything coherent to come out. "Well, Harry, I really like you too."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up so far it was almost comical. "Really? So, you don't like the other guys?"

"What? No." You laughed. "That's absurd. Why would you think that?"

"You seemed very..." The boy trailed off, not wanting to offend you after you had admitted to liking him.

"Flirty?" You finished, causing him to nod. "I'm like that with everyone, I don't mean to be half the time."

"Oh."

"Well, how about you give me your phone number and when you finally grow a pair, you can ask me out?" Your confidence levels had shot up spontaneously.

"Uh, sure." His cheeks had become a dark shade of red as he passed his phone to you so you could put your number in. You kept looking up at him as you typed, putting your name under 'Y/N x' in his contacts before handing it back to him.

"Y/N! Come on! We're going to Nando's!" JJ called from the other side of the room.

"Call me." You winked. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and was currently the only thing from stopping the wide grin from spreading across your face. A grin that hadn't disappeared from your face for the rest of the day, much to the curiosity of JJ, who was disappointed when you refused to tell him why, or more appropriately who, had put the smile on your face.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Before I send u the information, I wanted to thank u again for being so nice and accepting my request even though the event was already closed, you're such a sweetheart, really! 😣💗

So, starting with my appearance; I have greenish brown eyes, my hair is long and naturally red and I have some scattered freckles. My body is hourglass-shaped, not chubby but not skinny either. I'm 5'2 and I feel a little bad when people comment about my height, especially in jokes. (I'm a little insecure about my whole body itself; I think I'm too short, my breasts are too big compared to the rest of my body and I don't feel confident exposing it, mainly because of my s/h scars... but I'm trying to change it little by little).

As for my personality, Iʼm an intj, and my enneagram is 5w4. Iʼm quite shy and serious when Iʼm among strangers and in social situations, but Iʼm much more energetic when Iʼm with my (few) friends. Iʼm kind of "antisocial"; a complete disaster when it comes to socializing, so I hate going to crowded and noisy shitty places.

Because of my tendency for introspection, I've had a Dark Academy lifestyle since childhood; I read constantly and am passionate about literature, history, classical music, philosophy, and the arts in general. I've been singing and playing the piano for almost ten years, music is one of my biggest passions, as well as art, as I've also been drawing and painting since I was a child!

Talking about relationships, I'd say that I'm not the best person for this. Idk how to handle my own emotions, and expressing them is a bit difficult (I also have trust issues). Although touch isnʼt my love language, I try to show it in other ways, especially through words of affirmation and quality time. Since talking about my feelings is a very complicated thing, the simple act of verbalizing what I feel means that the feeling is huge, you know? I also value experiencing delightful moments with my love, whether they are remarkable or not. Just the opportunity to be by his side and enjoy his company means a lot to me! In a relationship, Iʼm looking for someone intelligent, calm, and who is willing to understand my issues and respect my need for personal space. Iʼm the kind of person who hates clinginess, but makes a small exception just for someone in particular (and Iʼd like my partner to be like me; not so clingy, but also not so cold and distant, yk?). I'm passionate abt people with whom I can have deep and intellectual conversations, especially abt topics such as art, philosophy, history, etc. I also have a certain inclination to seek validation when I'm in a relationship: I do everything to please and expect the person to acknowledge and do the same, making it clear that they love me (sorry but I have a huge praise kink and I kinda like like possessive behavior, because, for some reason, it reassures me that I'm loved💀).

holy shit, I'm sorry for sending this massive ask! I got carried away and said more than I should have. But so, who do you think I'll match with? 🖤

(...and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language 😭)

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Format: Headcanons

Warnings: NSFW! content at the end, MDNI!

Word Count: 1.03K

A/n: Tysm anon, and I'm sorry I forgot to post this. I'm really sorry😭

I match you with...

Fyodor Dostoevsky!

Ah look at him in this pic. SO HANDSOME-

I think you're the perfect prey for this mischievous man🚶🏻‍♀️🤝🏻

Like, seriously lmao. He will enjoy teasing you A LOT. IDT he will comment on your body cause you're his S/o and there's definitely something special about you... So he doesn't want to break you. It's just... Fyodor, you know what I mean? He teases in his own way. By doing small affectionate moves like, reaching for your hand when he's reading a book (I can definitely see him doing that because you're not clingy/touchy so he has to do something about it), and suddenly letting go claiming that he wants to turn the page over just to see you pout and look the other way as your cheeks turn red since you're too shy to say anything/protest.

Fyodor doesn't care about body shape, ok? He's not that type of guy. He finds value in your personality. Whether you're cocky and idiotic, or intelligent and mischievous, or a mix of both. He doesn't want a S/o who's dumb, but he also has to have power on you. And believe me, it doesn't matter if your obedient or not, Fyodor will bring you down to your knees if he desires.

"Iʼm looking for someone intelligent, calm, and who is willing to understand my issues and respect my need for personal space" I think you just described Fyodor😭😭😭He will give you personal space maybe a bit too much, to the point that you're begging him to interrupt your personal space lmao🚶🏻‍♀️ But he will understand these all. He's calm, intelligent AF and yet a very simple man. You got it babe, as long as you're willing to be his pretty little mouse🚶🏻‍♀️ (You don't have a choice nut let's not scare you shall we?)

But seriously Fyodor isn't a bad man =| IK that he likes to be the one in charge and stuff but don't tell me that you aren't enjoying it?! Like, it's FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY?!! He has some goals he needs to achieve, but he might will make time for you as well.

I think he would be into someone who's not goofy y'know? Someone who's maybe a bit quiet, shy when it comes to touching and stuff because he needs to see his effect on you(the blushing/getting flustered), obedient or he will make you be🚶🏻‍♀️, and maybe a bit idk... crazy? About him of course. Like, be obsessed with him. You're personality is kinda close to that, so yes, I can see something happening between the two of you.

Imagine him sitting on the sofa taking a sip of his tea with his eyes closed as he listened to the delightful melody of the piano. How your talented hands run around on the keys, creating such beautiful symphony. He will smile by the end of the song and praise you as he stares into your eyes that are filled with the need of his approval😭

"So elegant of you, my dear. Being able to play such tricky instrument like you were born for it. As expected of my little Myshka"

GOD-😭😭😭😭😭😭

His praises are rare so enjoy these little moments-

Fyodor is delighted by you. You will have so many discussions when he has free time, about anything related to Philosophy, etc. He gets fascinated by your view on things when it's not similar to his; and if you point out something that he surprisingly hasn't considered/ thought about? He admires you. Might not straightforwardly tell you, but you can get it from his soft smile and his stare on your face when you describe your theory, meaning that he's interested in you.

POSSISSIVE. I actually cannot say that enough🚶🏻‍♀️

Fyodor is picky about his significant other, and if he chooses someone, it means that they're his and only his. No man will live to see the next day if he even dreams about laying a finger on you. Like, the barista tries to flirt with you? You will not see him at the coffee house the next day. And as much as you feel bad for the poor guy, it makes you feel butterflies in your stomach knowing your boyfriend had taken care of him. It means that in his crowded complicated mind, you're there somewhere, important enough for him to stop planning shit for a moment and take care of people who dare to take a liking toward his belongings. It makes you feel important, proud of yourself.

OK ANON THE REST IS NSFW CUZ I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF SO DON'T READ IT IF YOU'RE A MINOR THANK YOU

If you ever wear a lingerie for him... OMG

He appreciates it a lot. Will teasingly caress your scars, smiling at how you shudder at the feeling of his cold fingertips on your warm breast. Oof, he might even kiss them if he's in the mood that day, and YOU WILL LITERALLLY FALL INTO HIS LAP IF HE DOES THAT CUZ YOU JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK OMG-

TEASE. TEASE.

You're shy and quiet? OH, that's funny, cause you're the exact opposite when you're in this guy's hands🚶🏻‍♀️🤝🏻

He will have you whining, moaning, crying, begging for him to touch you more, and it will just make him smirk at how you're this needy for him despite not being touchy with others. He loves it. It feels his ego knowing he's the only one in your heart, Which is why he will treasure you and make you come if you've been acting like a good girl for him.

Holds you close to himself. Don't you dare break eye contact or tilt your head to the other side. He will grab your jaw and force you to look back at him, and might punish you if it pisses him too much. He needs to see your pretty face. He needs to see how much he got you worked up, how much of a mess you've become for him, and only him. He needs to see your face turning red, and he loves it when your moans get so loud that he has to silence them with a deep, passionate kiss ♡

Tysm for participating and giving me the opportunity to write for this man anon, GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL-

[fics-n-stuff]

Home - Pt 2

For @glowstick-lesbian, request here

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Summary: After Y/N finally gets out hiding, it's time to sit down with Kaz and talk through whatever it is that's going on between them.

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Brief talk of Jordie and Kaz's trauma and touch aversion

A/N: Wow this ended up being longer than I intended! I'm so sorry it's taken so long, I was focused on The Bastard's Shadow and Affluenza pts1 + 2, and then I started picking up more shifts at work and got writers block at the same time. I really hope you like how it turned out!! ❤❤

Pt1 here

After the very enlightening visit from Kaz, the days seemed to drag on even slower than before. The next two months went by in a crawl, and no matter how much you buried yourself in work you couldn’t distract from the longing you felt to get out of your apartment.

When your messenger came to deliver the news that your pursuers were willing to come to a truce you had been so happy that you’d gone straight to pour yourself a glass of whisky to celebrate. From then, you counted down the days until the meeting that you set up, the result of which should mean that you were free to roam the city again.

Inej had shown you how to get out of the window and onto the roof months ago. It was your escape route in case of an emergency, but you had used it every now and then just to sit on the roof and enjoy a taste of the outside world. That night, you had climbed out with intention and dressed in your finest coat.

You travelled over the rooftops towards the Government district, where your meeting had been arranged to take place near the Stadhall. The presence of the stadwatch would serve to protect you in case the deal went south.

You had been jittery with a mix of anxiety and excitement when you descended to street level and wended your way through the streets to find three men waiting for you at the Stadhall, all of them tall, broad and commanding. Barrel businessmen that you had crossed one too many times, and no doubt they had been angered that forcing you into hiding hadn’t put a stop to your business.

You were too smart to have not found a way around it; you had to be to run the business that you did. You owned three boarding houses and two bars in the Barrel and two ships that brought in imports from Ravka and Novyi Zem, a squaller as a permanent fixture on the crew of each to whom you paid a fair salary. You’d had Kaz put them under the protection of the Dregs to keep them safe from slavers. On top of all of that, you used your contacts in Ravka, Novyi Zem and other parts of Kerch to help get kids out of the Barrel and into honest work elsewhere. You might operate from the criminal underbelly of Ketterdam, but you made a mostly honest living.

The meeting took longer than you had anticipated. The three men were eager to negotiate territories that you couldn’t conduct business in and items that they didn’t want you to import because it was cutting into their own business. You held firm, you knew what was fair and you would be damned if you let anyone bully you into submission.

In the end, you essentially just agreed not to get in their way, which was easy enough to do. You wouldn’t actively compete with them in the sale of imported goods, and you wouldn’t try to convince any of the lads that they used as runners and grunts to get out of the Barrel. As long as you kept your distance from them you’d be fine, since they were clearly tired of chasing after you.

“Alright then, the deal is the deal.” You said, holding out your hand. All three shook hands with you in turn, echoing the phrase as was customary. When the man in the middle – clearly the leader and the last to shake with you – took your hand, you tightened your grip and leaned forward. “If you try to cheat me after this deal, you will have Dirtyhands to answer to.” You said lowly. He tried not to show his reaction but the fear in his eyes betrayed him, and you released his hand. It wasn’t often that you involved Kaz and his reputation in your affairs, but sometimes it paid to be friends with the most ruthless man in Ketterdam.

You left the meeting with your head held high and took a gondel back to the Barrel. You were approached by a few people who stayed in one of your boarding houses or drank in one of your bars on your walk to the Crow Club, telling you that they had been curious or worried about having not seen you around for so long. You didn’t engage in any conversation beyond polite acknowledgment, too eager to get to the Crow Club.

Inej was the only one that knew that you were getting out tonight. You had told her when she had come to deliver your food for the week and she had promised to try and keep everyone corralled at the Crow Club so that you could make a big entrance, but the later it got the less likely it was that she could keep them all there without raising suspicion.

You practically ran down the last street towards the Crow Club, bursting through the open door and searching the crowd for your friends. Jesper caught sight of you at the same moment that you spotted them all at the bar, and you saw his jaw drop in shock. A huge grin spread on your face as he set his drink down, his sudden change in demeanor getting the attention of the rest of the group and causing them to turn to follow his gaze.

“Y/N?” Jesper called, prompting you into as much of a sprint as you could manage across the crowded floor of the gambling hall. You vaulted yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his lanky frame. “You’re back! How?” He exclaimed, and you laughed as you felt him hug you back and sweep you off of your feet.

“I had a meeting to call a truce. As of tonight I am a free person!”

“We missed you so much!” Nina grinned, prying Jesper’s arms off of you so that she could pull into a hug herself. “Why didn’t you tell us that you were finally coming out of hiding?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You grinned, pulling away so that you could move to hug Wylan next. “I missed you guys so much too, you have no idea.” You caught sight of Kaz over Wylan’s shoulder, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. You pointed your smile at him and his lips twitched upwards before he cooled his expression and gave you a simple nod.

Your reunion was spirited to say the least, even Matthias couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were back. You made them tell you about all of the most significant things that you had missed in the year that you had been trapped inside and update you on any power shifts between the Barrel gangs. Jesper wouldn’t shut up, Wylan was excited to tell you about all of the new explosives and weapons that he had developed, and Nina was making a list of places that she wanted to get lunch together to make up for lost time. It felt amazing to be with them all again.

“Okay! I want to play a few hands of Three Man Bramble before I go.” You announced, pushing your glass away from you after downing the last of its contents.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Jesper grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulder and guiding you to a table.

It seemed apt that fortune seemed to be in your favour, winning so consistently that you continued to play even though you knew that you shouldn’t. It felt like every time that you looked up from the table you caught Kaz watching you, and his unashamed gaze made your heart flutter.

After a while you saw him give a slight nod towards the door, an action that meant that it was time to go, and you tucked you lip between you teeth as you gave a subtle nod back and turned your attention back to your cards.

“Unbelievable!” Jesper exclaimed upon seeing that you had won again. “I guess you’re catching up on a year’s worth of luck.”

“Perhaps, but I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.” You smiled, gathering up your winnings. “I need to go and breathe some more fresh air.” You pocketed half of your winnings and pushed the other half around the table to Jesper. “Not too much fun.”

“There’s no such thing as too much fun.” He beamed and pulled you to him so that he could plant a kiss on your cheek. “Good to have you back, Y/N.”

“Good to be back, Jes.” You winked before bounding back to the bar to say goodbye to the rest of your friends. Kaz had already disappeared, no doubt in an attempt to avoid drawing attention to the fact that you were leaving together.

“We’re going to get waffles tomorrow. I will break your door down if I have to.” Nina asserted, practically crushing your ribs in a hug. “Inej, you’re coming too.”

“What about me?” Wylan pouted, and you laughed.

“Everyone’s invited.” You replied, holding his face and turning it towards you so that you could press a soft kiss on his forehead before pulling him in for a hug. “I just got out, I want to spend time with you all!”

You kept your hug with Inej pretty short, considerate of the bad feelings that too much contact could stir up in her, and even managed to coax a hug from Matthias before you headed out. Kaz was waiting not far from the entrance and you smiled as you quickly made your way towards him

“Hey.” You chirped.

“You wanted it to be a surprise, huh?” He questioned, starting towards the Slat. You chuckled.

“I know you’re not a big fan of surprises, Kaz, but I thought this might be a fun one. Why? Were you offended that I told Inej and not you?”

“Did you have anyone go with you to your meeting?”

“No, I didn’t need any backup.”

“Things could have gone badly, and you didn’t tell anyone about it.”

“Well things didn’t go badly.” You rebutted. “I’m here, I’m fine, and I surprised you all.”

“You shouldn’t put yourself in danger like that.” Kaz said flatly, ignoring your point, and you groaned loudly at his stubbornness.

“If it makes you feel better, I made sure to drop your name in to intimidate them. But I can handle my own business.”

You hopped along the cobblestones playfully, irrationally happy to be back out on the filthy and foul smelling streets of the Barrel, but even the stink couldn’t dampen your joy at finally being free. You were sure that you and Kaz probably looked like a bizarre pair walking together now, him with his stoic exterior and identifying limp next to your childlike joy, though you had taken after him fashion wise with your smart attire and well-fitted, black coat.

Walking back to the Slat with Kaz took you in the opposite direction to your home – now that you were out of hiding you could finally return to where you actually lived in a house on the boundary of East Stave and the Zelver District – but you wanted to talk to Kaz, and he wouldn’t have asked you to leave with him if he didn’t want to talk to you too. Nevertheless, you continued the rest of the walk in silence.

When you got to the Slat, Kaz continued straight up to his room while you lingered on the ground floor to say hello to some of the Dregs that you were more friendly with. The noise of the Slat was unfamiliar to you after so long, but you had kind of missed the rowdiness of it.

You followed upstairs shortly after. Kaz had left his door ajar for you and you could see him sat at his desk through the opening.

“Shut the door behind you.” He said as you slipped inside, and you heard the door click as you push it shut after yourself.

“You wanna talk to me?” You questioned, walking over to lean on the side of the desk casually. “Or did you just want some time to look at my gorgeous face?” He did look up at you then, his eyes darting around to take in the entirety of your face, and you felt your heart flutter.

“How did your meeting go? What deals did you make?” He asked. You sighed. It wasn’t new that Kaz was asking about your business, he liked to know about what you were doing the same way that he liked to know about literally everything else, but you had hoped that this conversation would be a little less mundane than that. You had hoped that he might express an iota of joy that you were back.

“I can’t dock my ships in 3rd Harbour anymore.” You shrugged. “So I’ll stick to 2nd for imports going into the morning market, mostly 5th for everything else. There’s a few streets that I need to keep my business off of, and obviously I can’t try and undermine their operations anymore. That doesn’t mean that I won’t, it just means that I’ll be smarter about not getting caught.”

“And what do you get from them?”

“They leave me alone. I don’t need more than that. I mean, their terms are hardly going to impede my business anyway.”

“And your insurance?”

“You.” You smiled sweetly. “Very few people are bold enough to cross someone that has Kaz Brekker on side.”

“I thought you prided yourself on running an honest business.”

“I do. My association with you doesn’t make my business any less legit. I’m more honest than most of the Merchant Council anyway.”

“That’s fair.” He conceded with a slight nod.

Kaz had visited you a few times since the night that you had both let on about how much you cared about each other, but you hadn’t talked about it. It felt like the tension between you had been building and building like an elastic band ready to snap. It was driving you crazy.

“Anything else that you want to talk about?” You hinted. Kaz let out a long breath, his eyes sliding away from you for a moment. You could tell that he wanted to talk about it but he was struggling to get it out. “Because you haven’t told me that you’re glad I’m back yet.”

“I am glad that you’re back.” He affirmed, then he took a hard swallow. “We all missed you.” You smiled brightly at that.

You could hear the crows moving around on the half-roof outside of Kaz’s window and crossed the room to perch on the windowsill. There hadn’t been anywhere for the birds to land in the apartment that you had been cooped up in.

“Can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to be alone again just yet.” You said softly, tucking one knee up against your chest as you watched the birds through the glass.

“Sure.” Kaz answered.

You sat in silence for a while after that, which wasn’t unusual for you two. Before you had gone into hiding, you had spent many evenings with Kaz in his office just like this. Tonight felt different though. Something had opened between the two of you and now you couldn’t close it. The feeling permeated every corner of the room until you felt like you might explode if you didn’t break this silence, but, to your surprise, Kaz spoke first.

“I’ve been thinking about that day that I saw you outside the Crow Club.”

“Why?” You asked, blinking in surprise. Kaz was still facing forward at his desk, back turned to you, but his pen had stilled over the page.

“I watched you for a while, deciding whether to chase you off or recruit you for the Dregs.” He continued, ignoring your question. You were used to that too. “You were good at pickpocketing – you could spot a good mark, distracted them by pretending to beg for pennies – but you stayed in one place for too long.”

“I know, you told me at the time.” You smiled amusedly.

“I was just planning on telling you exactly that, but after I got your attention and you looked at me I knew that I had seen you before. It was in your eyes.” He turned around to look at you then, his gaze finding yours immediately. “Your eyes never changed.”

Kaz’s eyes had. Maybe that was why you hadn’t recognised him. Kaz Rietveld had eyes full of wonder and warmth, that were curious about everything and shone when he was happy. Kaz Brekker's eyes were cold, they held secrets. The curiosity had become analytical, and the shine had turned into a devious glint. Kaz Rietveld didn’t exist anymore, the R tattoo on Kaz’s bicep was the only relic of him, and you were the only one left to remember him.

“Crows remember the faces of those that are kind.” He finished softly.

“And that’s why you took me in? Because I was kind?”

“Because we were friends. We are friends.”

“Just friends?” You murmured, a challenge in your eyes. It wasn’t a provoking challenge, more of an encouraging one. You wanted to know where he stood and you wanted him to be able to tell you. He was silent for a long stretch.

“Would we ever be able to be more?” He asked. You knew what he meant. Kaz had built up so many walls that he didn’t know how to let down, and he knew that about himself. It was how he had survived, but it was a way of being that wasn’t very conducive to relationships. He didn’t think that he could do it.

“That depends on you.” You answered with a soft smile. “Because I’m not looking anywhere else.” Kaz swallowed and looked away quickly, but you swore that you had seen a hint of a blush in his cheeks.

A knock came at the door, and you cursed whoever was on the other side in your head.

“What is it?” Kaz called.

“There’s a man downstairs says he has a job for you.” Specht’s voice came through the wood. “Won’t talk to no one else but you.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Kaz replied, then muttered something under his breath bitterly. You heard the creak of Specht's retreating footsteps and Kaz turned to you. “Will you wait until I get back?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You watched Kaz leave the room and let out a long sigh once the door had closed behind him. You were finally talking about whatever it was that was between the two of you and you just had to get interrupted.

You shed your coat, dropping it lazily on the floor next to you, and rolled up your shirt sleeves. Despite the pressure put on you from some members of the Dregs, you had never gotten the crow and cup tattoo on your forearm. You had known from the start that you didn’t want to belong to the gang, no matter how thankful you were for the help that Kaz had given you.

When you had realised who it really was that had approached you that night outside the Crow Club, you had been shocked. He knew your name when he spoke to you, though he had seemed unsure of it, and you had furrowed your brow and asked if you knew him.

“It’s Kaz.” He had said, and you had blinked.

“Kaz Rietveld?” You had whispered in disbelief. His jaw had clenched, his shoulders stiffened.

“That’s not my name anymore.” He snapped. “It’s Kaz Brekker now.”

When you asked him why he had changed his name he had simply told you that it was easier that way. When you asked him about why he was in Ketterdam he had answered that his father had died and they had sold the farm. When you asked about Jodie he didn’t answer.

He had walked you to the Slat, told you not to talk to anyone, and brought you up to this very room. You had trusted him enough to follow. Despite his proud presence in the Barrel, despite the fact that he was walking you into the den of a gang, despite the fact that he was almost unrecognisable from the Kaz that you knew as a child, you had trusted him. And in the years that followed, he had never broken that trust.

He had helped you pay for the first boarding house that you purchased, come with you to the bank when you took out the loan to buy your first ship, had come to the harbour to see you off the first time that you had gone to Ravka.

Kaz had once reminded you of something from your childhood while around the other Crows, and once it had slipped that you and Kaz had been friends when you were young, people were constantly asking you about what he had been like. He never told anybody anything about himself and people had been eager to find a source of information on him, but most people had quickly come to realise that you weren’t going to say anything either. Kaz had never thanked you for your discretion, but you knew that he was glad for it.

If you were honest with yourself, you had found yourself drawn to him ever since you got your first glimpse through his cold and uncaring exterior and saw his loyal and protective nature. The pull had only grown since.

Your thoughts were broken by the sound of the door opening, and you looked over to watch Kaz enter. The door clicked shut behind him and he moved to the wash basin directly across the room from the window that you were sat in, set down his cane and pulled off his gloves .

“A good job?” You asked. He shrugged.

“A job that I’ll do.” He answered and began unbuttoning his shirt. You tried not ogle as he pulled it off and picked up the washcloth from the basin, but you caught sight of a reddened stripe of raised skin across his side and furrowed your brows.

“When did that happen?”

“A few days ago.”

“How deep did it go?”

“Not too deep.”

“It doesn’t look like you stitched it up properly.”

“It’s fine.” He dismissed. You rolled your eyes and got up from the window ledge. Kaz never took proper care of himself but he was always too stubborn to admit it.

“Let me see.”

“I said it’s fine, Y/N-"

“Kaz.” You interrupted sternly, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “I said let me see.” He held your gaze for a moment before letting out a huff and raising his arm so that you could get a better view of the wound.

You kept your distance as you looked over the injury, but you could clearly see that the stitches were sloppy on the end of the gash towards his back; the side that he couldn’t reach easily himself.

“You’re keeping it clean?”

“I know how to treat a wound.” He grumbled.

“I know that you know how, that doesn’t mean that I actually trust you to do it. You didn’t even have it bandaged or anything, what if it gets infected?”

“It won’t, Y/N, stop worrying so much.”

“Well, if you’re not going to worry about yourself then somebody else has to.” You exasperated. “At least bandage it.” You didn’t wait for a reply before you crossed over to the cabinet where he kept his impressive stock of medical supplies and grabbed a roll of gauze. Kaz caught it grudgingly when you tossed it to him and set it to the side while he finished washing his torso.

“You worry too much.” He muttered.

“It’s good for you.” You smiled.

You watched him as he unrolled the gauze and wrapped it around his body, carefully laying it over the wound with pale fingers that you rarely saw. He was precise, but he couldn’t see his back and the bandage twisted as he moved it between his hands.

“It’s folded.” You told him softly, taking half a step towards him. “I can fix it... if you want.” There was a beat of silence before Kaz nodded slightly.

You moved towards him slowly and reached for him even slower, your eyes constantly flicking back to the mirror to gauge the reaction on Kaz’s face. Your fingertips barely brushed over his back as you unfolded the downturned piece of bandage and you immediately stepped away when you were done. It took no more than a few seconds, but you could hear Kaz’s short breaths and when you looked at him in the mirror you could see that he had paled.

You picked up the clean shirt that was laid on his bed and held it out to him at full arms length. His hand shook as he took it from you. He pulled it on quickly, making short work of the buttons, and pulled his gloves back on hastily.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, though you weren’t exactly sure what you were apologising for.

“It’s because of Jordie.” Kaz’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, his eyes trained on his shoes. “Why I can’t touch anyone. It’s because when he died...”

“You don’t have to tell me, Kaz.” You said softly when he trailed off. He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds.

“When Jordie died, I was sick too. It was the Queen's Lady plague. One night, I fell asleep in an alley and woke up on the Reaper's Barge.” He swallowed thickly, wringing his hands together thoughtlessly, and you could see sweat forming on his brow. “When my fever broke, I had to swim back to the harbour, and Jordie... whenever someone touches me, all I can feel is those corpses.”

Silence hung between you as you tried to find the words to respond. It was a lot of information to take in, but suddenly things made sense. Now you understood why Kaz had become the way that he was; why he was prone to shutting people out, why the light behind his eyes had dimmed.

“Kaz, I... I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” He muttered. “I have work to do. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.” He crossed the room to sit down at his desk, his movements tense. You watched him for a minute, unsure of what to do. It felt wrong to leave him alone right now, but you didn’t know if he would want you to stay.

“I’m sailing to Novyi Zem next week.” You said. It was the first topic that you could think of. “I’d really appreciate it if you could look over the rent ledgers while I’m gone.”

“Sure.” He replied flatly. Silence again.

“Will you come with us all to get waffles tomorrow?”

“I have work to do, and Nina didn’t invite me anyway.”

“Yeah, well, the celebration is for me and I’d really like for you to be there.” You smiled slightly. “She probably didn’t invite you because she knew you’d say no.”

“Smart of her.” Kaz responded, and you let out a frustrated huff.

“Don’t do that, Kaz. Don’t shut me out.” You complained. He didn’t answer at all. You folded your arms over your chest and went to stand beside his chair. “I don’t care that you can’t touch people, it doesn’t bother me. You went through trauma and that’s not your fault. What is bothering me is that you’re choosing to stay closed off to everyone. You can’t keep your walls up forever, you’ll kill yourself trying.”

“I can’t handle it, Y/N.” He snapped, his voice low. The gravel in his voice might have intimidated you into backing off if you weren’t so adamant on getting through to him.

“You’ll never be able to handle it if you don’t start trying.” You insisted. “Maybe if you’d just admit to yourself that you care about people it wouldn’t be so hard to see that we care about you too.”

Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tightly, and released a long breath. You watched him, waiting for a response, not backing down. After a moment of silence, he glanced up at you.

“I can’t need anyone.” He said slowly. “Not after Jordie. I can’t let myself need anyone else.”

“You don’t have to need me, Kaz. You just have to want me.” You replied softly. His head snapped towards you and you actually saw his pupils dilate for the few seconds that he held your gaze before quickly turning away again. You hadn’t meant it like that, but you weren’t upset that he’d heard it that way.

“I don’t deserve you.” He muttered. You leaned against his desk, a sympathetic smile on your face even though he wasn’t looking at you.

“I’ve been around this long, I’m not going anywhere.” You promised. “There’s more to love about you than you think.”

Kaz tapped on his desk with a finger, a nervous action that he would usually suppress. Then, he took a sharp inhale and turned back to you.

“Okay.” He breathed. “I can try.” You bit down on your tongue in an attempt to suppress your grin, but you couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across your face.

“That’s all I ask.” You lilted. You stood up straight, pushing off of the desk and starting across the room to the window. You rolled your shirt sleeves down and snatched your coat up from the floor. “I’m going to head home. I expect to see you at my door promptly at eleven bells tomorrow morning, ready to get waffles.”

“Alright.” He nodded, breathing a single light laugh.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Here, Y/N, these are for you.” He said quickly, picking up and couple of envelopes from his desk and holding them up for you. “You’ll have to make sure to notify your business partners of your change in mailing address.” You chuckled, going to take the letters from him, and he gave a small smirk as he handed them over.

“Thank you.” You smiled, before turning and heading to the door. “Eleven bells, Brekker. I know you’re a punctual man.”

“I’ll be there.” He affirmed. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Kaz.” You echoed softly before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you, a fond smile on your lips.

[kass-storycorner]

Oh god, okay hear me out. I suffer from insomnia and I couldn’t get Childes letter out of my head (btw the English version is so much less “I am in love with you” than the German one. He literally says in the German version that he misses us and wants us to visit him, like straight up this is a love letter!! The English version is really toned down in comparison).

So. I know his birthday is over, at least where I’m from. But. I wrote this whole ass fan fic, that is way too long, because I was so inspired by that letter. I’m not really satisfied with the ending, I honestly wanted to add so much more fluff but… I also didn’t want to make this too long, I actually planned for it to be short??? help (also it’s 4am now noooo)

Happy birthday, Tartaglia

Genre: a little bit angsty, fluff, comfort

Rating: SFW, though mentions of kissing and sharing a bed

Content warnings: mention of a family death, Bennett’s bad luck lol but both are unrelated haha

Characters: Tartaglia x gn!reader, a guest appearance of Bennett, mention of Zhongli

Word count: 2,796 words (oooh f*ck haha)

-

You’ve been busy the whole day doing some commissions for the Adventures Guild and were now on your way to Mondstadt, when you heard a familiar voice call your name. “(Y/N)!”, Bennett called out to you and ran into your direction. A deep sigh left your throat, while you enjoyed Bennett’s company most of the time… you had to deal with a ton of your own bad luck today. Not one of the commissions today went the way they usually did, everything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong. It was honestly just very frustrating, although you couldn’t be really sure if it was because of bad luck or because your mind was somewhere else most of the day. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the tiredness you already felt in your whole body and made your way towards Bennett. No matter what he needed help with you would be sure you could handle it. And in that moment, as the thought of how it wouldn’t be a big deal whatever Bennett had on his chest, you saw how the young adventure tripped over his own feet and fell face forwards into the dirt. ‘Ouch, that must’ve hurt’, you thought while running up to him. “Are you hurt? Here, let me help you up Bennett”, you asked while helping him get up from the ground. All you got as an answer from him was his usual laugh and smile. “Oh man, I really didn’t see that stone. Haha, thanks for the concern though!” You couldn’t help yourself and chuckled at the way he wiped off the dirt from his clothes. “So, what’s up? What do you want from me?.” “Yeah, right! I nearly forgot!”, he exclaimed and started fumbling in his bag. “Oh, got a present for me?”, you asked sheepishly. “Kinda, not really. Here!” Bennett held a letter in his hands, both bandaged again, and stretching it out to you. “A letter? For me?”, you took it in your hands. In a fine handwriting there was your name on it. It didn’t even took you a second for you to register who’s hand writing it was. What a surprise.

Before you could even start to ask Bennett how he got his hands on the letter he was already excitedly explaining it to you. “Today I had a commission on Dragonspine and to be honest, it didn’t really went that well until I ran into this one guy. I accidentally activated a few Ruin guards and well, even the most seasoned adventurer can’t fight more than one of these at a time and sadly the newest members of Benny’s adventure team had to go home again before we made it even to the mountain.”

The thought of Bennett nearly finding his end today on Dragonspine really… it really did not sit right with you. You made a mental note to ask him later who the new members were that ditched him. After you had your talk with them they wished they had stayed with Bennett on Dragonspine. “Well, in that moment when they approached me that one guy showed up and it only took him a few minutes to defeat them all. (Y/N) that was so cool! I tried to recruit him for my adventure team, but sadly he said he was already occupied with something else. Oh man, it would’ve been so cool to have him on my adventurer team, imagine with such an excellent fighter no one would be afraid of my bad luck to join my team.” While you enjoyed Bennett’s enthusiasm you had to interrupt him. “Wait, wait, Bennett. The person who gave you this letter is on Dragonspine?”

“Oh yeah! As I was saying I tried to recruit him for my team, but failed however we talked a bit and somehow he mentioned that he knew you! When I told him we were friends he asked me to give you this letter the next time I saw you.”

You felt how the excitement in you grew. He was on Dragonspine? He was so close to you again? Now you hardly could pay attention to what Bennett continued to say, all that was on your mind was the man, whom you saw the last time months ago in Liyue was so close again. “Bennett,” you interrupted him again. “Thank you so much for the letter, but I really need to get going. Thank you so much!”

And with that you changed your direction and made your way directly to Dragonspine. “Oh? Okay, bye (Y/N)!”, you heard Bennett call after you, but your mind was already occupied with opening that letter he gave you.

With shaking hands you read what stood on that thin paper in that neat and familiar handwriting:

“Hey, comrade! How have you been? You must have traveled far and wide since we last saw each other, right?

For me, I can only seek out some entertainment for myself. These past couple of days, I’ve used a work opportunity to explore Dragonspine and seek out some local specialties. I hope they will be of use to you.

The harsh cold of the snow-capped mountains is reminiscent to the scenery of my hometown…

Sigh, I’ve had many mundane days that makes me nostalgic of our time together. Whether it’s a fight or a challenge, I always feel that having you around is what makes life really interesting.

Haha, to be honest, I’ve been planning a special day to meet up with you, today could be that chance! If you have no special plans, how about you swing by my place?

I miss you, Tartaglia”

Quickly you put the letter in your bag with what accompanied it and now you were basically running towards Dragonspine. Right now you didn’t want to think about what kind of “work opportunity” there could be for the Harbringer on Dragonspine, all you could think about was seeing him again.

It has been months since you both parted ways in Liyue. You met him while being on a commission, funnily enough it was a bit similar how Bennett ran into him today. In one of Liyues ruins you looked for a book some historian in Liyue Harbour desperately tried to get their hands on. By the amount of Mora they were willing to pay it should’ve been obvious to you that it wasn’t a one-person mission… and still, you went alone into those ruins. You had no problem in destroying the first two ruin guards you ran into, but when three activated at the same time… If it weren’t for Tartaglia back then you would probably be dead. At first you were very thankful for his help, however when you found out he was also there for the book you needed your thankfulness quickly turned into anger. “Well, don’t you think I deserve a reward for helping you out, comrade?”, he teased you.

After that day you somehow always managed to run into him in Liyue Harbour or on your commissions. Back then you only knew him by his name used by the Fatui, Childe. Though it was well known in Liyue that he was one of the Harbringers, you somehow didn’t get that message after months of openly antagonising him. Only after Childe invited himself to your usual afternoon teas with your friend Zhongli you learned about his affiliations, but also more about him. If someone was hearing two people bickering, the people of Liyue knew it was you two. However none of it was malicious. Somehow it was the way you and Childe showed each other the appreciation you had for one another.

The first dislike you had for him grew quickly into a warm friendship. And that friendship grew in something more after awhile.

The first time you noticed a change in your feelings towards Childe was around the time of the Lantern rite festival. One night you were supposed to meet up with Zhongli - but Childe showed up in his instead. Apparently, so Childe, there was a lot to do at the Parlour because of a new promotion the director wanted to try and needed Zhonglis help with, so Zhongli asked Childe to accompany you to the Lantern rite.

Until this day you weren’t sure if this was just a set up by Zhongli, but even if it was, you wouldn’t hold it against him.

That night, when you and Childe walked around Liyue Harbour and watched the lanterns something fundamentally changed between the two of you. After that night you knew so much more about him and he about you. From that day on he wasn’t Childe anymore, he was Tartaglia. And both of you finally knew how the lips of the other felt on your own.

Now you were so close again to feel his warm arms around you, to listen to the sound of his heartbeat when you rested your head on his chest and to feel his lips on yours again. Oh how you missed him too.

Parting ways wasn’t easy. Both of you knew that it was best to not be so public with your relationship, for several reasons. On the one hand the Fatui weren’t what you would call popular - most people would use some stronger word to describe them. Being a Mondstadt citizen in Liyue openly dating a member of the Fatui, yeah no. On the other it was also not really well liked by the Tsaritsa for the members of the Fatui, no matter if you were just a low henchman or a Harbringer, to get involved in that way with outsides. With “not well liked” it was more implied that she forbade any romantic relationships outside and inside the Fatui ranks when they were on a mission. And Tartaglia was on a mission, a mission you knew nothing about, but to be honest? You preferred it that way. The longer you were able to ignore what it meant for him to be part of the Fatui, the better.

So because of all of this you both decided it would be best to keep the relationship in the shadows.

You both knew for sure was that you had to part ways one day, however none of you expected that you were the one going home before Tartaglia. There were a lot of nights of laying in bed with him, sharing stories from each of your homes. You told him about the Windblume Festival and Ludi Hapestrum, he told you about the festivals and traditions of Snezhnaya. When you shared stories of how your little siblings and you loved to collect as many dandelions as possible when you were children to pretend that it was snowing in the summer, he would counteract that story with the times he built entire fortresses with his siblings out of the snow in the winter. Only to then pull you closer and whisper in your ear that he’ll show you how to do that when you come with him back to Snezhnaya. You would always whisper back “okay, but first you’d need to glide with me off Startsnatch cliff”. The lovely nights you both spend together, telling each other of your homes and how much you want to show it to them were harshly interrupted by a letter you got from your family.

Life sometimes isn’t fair. It’s hard and it brutal and it’s short. So when you got the letter from your family informing you that the youngest member of the family had died, it broke you to pieces. They were only 14. That night Tartaglia held you in his arms, his hand on the back of your head, your head pressed into his chest and none of you could say a word. Only the sound of you crying piercing the quite room. Too heavy was the grief for anything to be said anyways.

The day immediately after you received that letter you and Tartaglia parted way, a quite and sad goodbye. None of you were actually sure when you would see each other again. With his hands against your tear stained face, the tears not only being shed out of grief but also out of the pain you had to leave your lover, he promised to write you as often as he could. You promised you would answer. And then you left, wishing he could come with you. Words you did not dare to speak, because you knew he couldn’t, no matter how much he wanted to.

Now you found yourself close to one of the Fatui camps on Dragonspine. It was quite irresponsible to just run up the mountain, without any proper preparation or knowledge where Tartaglias camp actually was. You sighed. The excitement of seeing him after such a long time, after just exchanging letters got the best of you. Frustrated with yourself you made your way towards the campsite, hoping that this time the Fatui henchmen wouldn’t immediately start attacking every stranger they see. However when you arrived at the camp site you saw that no one was there. Too exhausted from the commissions earlier in the day and running up the Dragonspine you let yourself fall down in front of the extinguished campfire. Slowly but surly the cold weather of the Dragonspine was catching up to you.

Going through your bag you were looking for the stones Tartaglia send with his letter, hoping to ignite a fire with them. But before you could find them you heart footsteps in the snow behind you.

You hadn’t even had the chance to turn around before you felt two arms looping around your body, immediately warming you up.

“Hey comrade, did you miss me?”

You felt his head on your shoulders and you couldn’t help but to lean your own against his. One of your hands made its way up to his face, touching his cheek. “Yes,” you whispered.

Turning your head you now looked into his deep blue eyes, they were filled with all the love he had for you. You wished he could look at you like this forever… that you could look at him forever.

Tartaglia leaned a bit forward, placing a soft kiss on your lips and you couldn’t help it but smile.

He slowly pulled away, entangling himself from the hug and holding his hand out to you. “Come, let’s go inside the tent. You must be freezing out here”.

Inside the tent Tartaglia threw one blanket on another blanket over another over you, while lecturing you on what appropriate clothing was for a weather like this. You really didn’t give it any second thought when you made your way to Dragonspine, still wearing the same clothes you would wear on a sunny day in Mondstadt. But you also couldn’t hide it how much you loved to just hear his voice, even when he was nagging you. “It’s fine really, now stop trying to bury me under all the blankets and warm me up yourself”, you took his hand and pulled him towards you onto the plank. “You know some people would find what you said very suggestiv”, he joked, joining you under the immense amount of blankets. “Mmmmh,” was the only thing you replied, completely enamoured with him having you by your side again. For a few minutes the both of you just laid there, close to each other and feeling each other’s heartbeat.

None of you could actually believe your luck to be in the arms of the other again. How much you had missed this. Missed him.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, making you look into his eyes again. “How you’ve been doing?”.

It was such a soft question and you knew what he meant. You wanted to tell him how exhausting everything has been since your arrival, how your family was breaking apart at all ends, what a shit show it all was. In your letters you only alluded to how bad it actually is. How it was all just made worse by him not being at your side. Though you knew you would have to tell him all of this sooner or later, right now you didn’t want to talk about it. Not in detail. Not when today was actually his special day. “It’s manageable, but better now that I’m here with you”, you replied to his question. “You?”

“Better, now that I have you here”, was his reply. You both smiled at each other, a warm and tender smile. Slowly you adjusted your position so that you now were laying on top of him, your chin on his chest. “Hey, there is something I forgot to tell you.”

“Oh, and what is it?”

“Happy Birthday, Tartaglia”, and with that you kissed him.

[sepublic]

Through the Looking Glass Ruins!!!!!

         …

         SO! Onto other things first…

         WRATH IS BRAXAS’ FATHER!??!!? HOLY SHIT, Wrath is a canonical dad, I’d always expressed my… OH MY GOD WRATH IS DAD! And of BRAXAS, that sweetie… How is Braxas such a sweetie with a father like HIM, also-

         Wrath was in casual wear? Either he has a day off, or he got fired by Belos/Kikimora after drawing Luz a map to Eda in Young Blood, Old Souls! Either way this guy has a sudden new level of NUANCE that I am reeling from, and yes I checked, that really is Wrath according to the credits! Dang this puts everything in a WHOLE new light…!

         AMITY HAIR OHMIGOD IT LOOKS SO ADORABLE SHE’S SELF-ACTUALIZING I AM FUCKING SCREAMING HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, it’s PINK and not green… They acknowledged it, Emira did! And they CHANGED IT I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS-

         She looks so BEAUTIFUL and I love the kind of foreshadowing with the bookends of our first shot of Amity having her hair down, and now it’s changed! And she looks adorable and EMIRA AND EDRIC BEING GREAT SIBLINGS I LOVE IT SO MUCH! This… THIS is everything I wanted! I was resigned to not much of them but HELL YEAH they’re being good siblings and we get a look at their rooms, we see them doing MAKEOVERS together this is everything from my favorite fanon content and MORE,

         Also Edric has a date?! Emira says ‘their’ mom… Unless the Golden Guard has a mom, DARN! Not gonna lie, I half-expected a big twist at the end that Edric was dating the Golden Guard, who was doing some sort of reconnaissance as his unrecognized normal self and/or screwing around with the Blights even further, but in a GENUINE sense… But then who knows Kikimora could be posing as GG’s ‘mom’, this is a stretch anyhow-

         JUST HELL YEAH Blight Twins! Blight Twins being sweet and mischievous and supportive of each other, Blight SIBLINGS being siblings, Emira being an older sister and giving advice! And AMITY, Amity mentioning how much Luz has changed stuff, I love that they acknowledge it openly how her life has completely shifted, and now… NOW…!

         No necklace! Red leggings! PINK HAIR?! Is this why Amity in the intro hasn’t been updated yet… She was getting TWO updates, so the animators decided to only animate a change after this final update?!

         King and Gus are also friends it seems, and they even recorded some fun together! I’m surprised at how much Bria and the others mock Gus’ illusion skills… Obviously Belos is kinda terrible but like; I don’t think he’d set aside an entire subset of magic into Illusions without reason! Also that nightmare trip… I LOVE IT, I love Gus applying the creativity of illusions in their ability to completely warp and distort someone’s sense of reality! And I called that dragon-thing being an illusion!

         A graveyard… I wonder if the Gallderstones (is that how it’s spelled) have any relevance or if they’re just neat? I hope Mattholomule and Gus help hide the Looking Glass Graveyard… Damn, that’s another Death reference with Gus, huh! Is it culminating in his respect for the dead, or will it continue further with Gus being a necromancer, or an Oracle who can commune with the deceased, and he has their respect as someone who treats them properly?!

         Also not to get dark but… What if all those Illusionists are dead because of Belos? I’m JUST SAYING…! And not gonna lie, every time someone insulted Illusions, I kept imagining the Illusion Head just suddenly waking up and feeling like there’s a disturbance in the force, as well as a weird compulsion to beat up some Glandus kids. It’d be even funnier if he had beef with the Construction, Plant, and Abomination Heads as well!

         Speaking of which, more confirmation on Construction Magic being related to earth! Glad to see Bria give us a look into that, which furthers my idea of Belos using construction magic… Also dang, Bria and the Glandus Kids really are the parallels/foils to the Detention kids! You’ve got the short ‘nice’ girl, the tall lanky kid, the furry… But the Glandus Kids start off looking nice and cool, but turn out to be rather nasty!

         Meanwhile the Detention Kids seem like bad news and delinquents, but no! They’re just demonized and actually very kind and chill! The Detention Kids are looked down upon, the Glandus Kids are appraised… The Detention Kids are dual-track, the Glandus Kids are singular; Glandus Kids from, well, GLANDUS, Detention Kids from Hexside… One’s ‘mischief’ is actually very neat and cool, the other’s is literal grave robbing.

         I guess that’s how the bleeding statues got past the censors- It’s technically just an illusion! Also more insight into how Glandus works with its Survival of the Fittest mentality, I wonder if we’ll get confirmation on which coven heads came from there, how that might influence them as adults…

         What is Glandus like, is it more whole-heartedly accepting of Belos’ rule, hence its harsh ideals? Was it made after Hexside? Does Bump hate it for being so cruel like that, or is it just school bias? And dang poor Mattholomule, I always had a feeling he sort of felt and knew that he wasn’t much, so he accepted and compensated by deliberately doing whatever he can for power…

         They confirmed he’s from Glandus, and I appreciate this new look at him! This new leaf turned… Hot take but he’s honestly not as bad as Boscha, his stint with Gus was a one-time thing that Gus was able to live with! And that seems pretty good to set them up as friends! Speaking of Boscha, Willow was injured by pixies? And the last time we heard of pixies, they belonged to Boscha and caused the school to get shut down… Did BOSCHA DO THIS I SWEAR SHE IS DEAD TO ME-

         (Also she’s mentioned in the credits for this episode but I don’t remember hearing her? I might’ve gotten distracted with so much other things.)

         Gus! I like the insight into his relationship with Illusions, and I appreciate how he’s considering other forms of magic… But this hesitation might just serve to reaffirm his believe in Illusions, which is okay! It’s all about choice… And yeah, it seems Gus also has a case of impostor syndrome like King, no wonder they get along so well! I love the glimpses into Gus’ house and the confirmation that he has a library card, no Perry though alas…!

         I appreciate how Gus feels overlooked, like he has no real substance, which is how his Illusions reflect a desire to draw attention, but also the idea that there’s nothing real beneath them… Again, very much like King! And Gus, he’s not a powerhouse like the rest, he’s SKILLED and smart, but strength isn’t his forte, it’s not brute force he operates on, but cleverness! Trickery, I like it…! It’s a nice callback to his last A-plot episode, SVSF, where instead of fighting Mattholomule physically, Gus’ solution is to think outside the box and pull the alarm!

         You go kid, not relying on brute strength but showing that some clever tricks and thinking are just as valid! Kinda wonder if this episode is lowkey a discussion on masculinity for young boys, especially with Gus growing older with puberty, though the latter is mostly because his actual VA grew… But maybe the writers rolled with that and incorporated it, or it’s just a very neat coincidence! Also, it is me or did Mattholomule’s voice change? And the gag that Gavin’s dad looks identical to him, even moreso because he’s NOT supposed to have a moustache… That’s great!

         Malphas! Love this reference to a classic demon, I wasn’t sure if Malphas was the librarian with glasses whom I’ve always headcanoned as a father figure to Amity… But maybe it’s actually this bird dude! He seems adept in Bard magic, and I love the reveal of his true crow appearance… Guess those theorists were right that the one-eyed figure is from the Forbidden Stacks! Also Malphas NOT COOL with Amity, but I’m glad Luz changed his mind, and I wonder how that adventure looked…

         Which- DAMN, the RSD with Luz! She looks so UTTERLY BROKEN when Amity mentions doing stupid things, and she didn’t mean it like that, but Luz just looks so completely shattered and you can tell she wants to cry but instead she bottles it up and tries to take it in stride, and that plays into her trying to overcompensate for her mistakes AGAIN… SOMEONE GET IT TO HER HEAD that she doesn’t need to! I’m scared for Luz, and I was SO scared this episode would end on a bad note…

         BUT DOAHLDdFAEONDKFHN LUMITY KISS LUMITY KISS! ONE-SIDED BUT THEY FINALLY FUCKING KNOW AND AMITY IS LIKE WHAAAAT AND I WAS WAITING FOR IT AND I COULD FEEL IT HAPPEN AND GAY KISS! GAY KISS ON-SCREEN!!! And the way Luz just FLOPS to the ground on her knees AAHJJFFKHGGK and no Alador nor Odalia to ruin this, UTTERLY PERFECT and the twins WATCHING OOOHHHHGGGG YYYEEAAAAHHH-

         This is EVERYTHING I ever wanted!

         What an AMAZING episode with wonderful characer beats and reveals! Again, Amity’s growth as a character, that brief insight into how Luz as a person is very chaotic and sometimes frustrating for Amity and forces her to reevaluate, but ultimately it’s good and Luz DOES try her best, and Amity clearly wanted to make things up for Luz and apologize, they’re BOTH doing things, just the little moments!

         Also, Alex Lawther voices Philip Wittebane! He has long hair and a vaguely british accent, he’s… He’s Belos isn’t he? And they got a new VA because having him voiced by Matthew Rhys would be really spoiler-y right? He’s got the long hair and he’s a nerd… And with how he talks of finding a way back home, maybe Belos really DOES just want to return home, after all? He talks of making a way back home…

         And we see a glimpse of the Portal, so it might’ve brought him there? Or did Philip succeed in making it, and that was his blueprint designs? Did he arrive by Titan’s Blood? What happened to the portal if it brought him there, or if he made it? Why the scar, why near Eda’s house, partially buried?

         Was it lost before he could finish his work, and Philip got side-tracked into something else… Perhaps going on a crusade, on behalf of a curse/demon that possessed him? A demon that killed King’s father…? Was the portal broken and he had to discard it, but then it naturally healed- Or did it just need to recharge, maybe Philip DID make it back home, WHAT IS THE ANSWER?! Is there some sort of doppelganger for Philip, is BELOS his doppelganger?! What is THIS WHAT-

         WHAT AN EPISODE!

[nameless-shrimp]

BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS || SATORU GOJO

Request: i was wondering if i could request a best friend to lovers with gojo? completely up to you regarding if it’s a one shot or headcanon! i don’t have anything too specific besides that! maybe some angst to comfort bc i love to make my heart ache a little.

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x GN!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sexual content (close friends to FWB to lovers).

Type: Headcanons / small one-shots

Notes: Nonnie, you love to make my heart warm with this. Writing Gojo Satoru... well, it is truly my specialty, hehehe. I hope you like this one! This is actually pretty bad in my opinion but I hope you like it nonetheless!

Satoru would consistently ask to get into phone calls with you whenever he had the free time to do so, and that even meant when both of you were students together at Jujutsu High. It was difficult having to have him cling onto you but you liked it deep down.

Satoru purposefully left missions early or avoided meeting with Yaga-sensei in order to take most of the time to train with you. It always led to him beating you and you scolding him for going too hard on you but without a doubt, he’d loved every bit of training and bickering you’d gnaw at him.

Most of the time, there was a lot of sexual tension between the both of you. Clearly, everyone saw it; Utahime found annoyance and disgust with it though she did make a bet with Suguru about whether you and Satoru would have slept yet.

The consistent flirting that Satoru would act upon you and the physical gestures of him throwing his arm over your shoulder and the tickles he’d give on the back of your neck was an obvious sign he was into you—or really, he just loved to annoy the shit out of you.

“You’re coming home early tonight, right? Let’s hang out or maybe I should sleepover.”

“For once in your damn life, Satoru, please be quiet.”

Satoru would take you out on trips—or well, you thought they were dates, but he said that both of you were simply hanging out. Sometimes it’d be a trip to the bakery and having bubble tea while both of you talk about your day or a drive through the city, which was peaceful.

It didn’t take long for you to realize that you were falling for your best friend. He was witty but charming all at once. You hated him yet you loved him as a close friend and you were falling in love with him now. The moment he looked at you and your hands almost touched while you were both gazing up at the stars as he talked about how exhausted he was being the strongest and all that, you were falling hard.

Truth be told, you loved his annoyance. It was too much, sometimes, but as the both of you got stronger—in reality, this meant to you getting a little bit stronger but he was always superior to you—and more mature as months went on, you had grown fond of his annoyance. The days where he didn’t pester you with text messages and phone calls since he’d be out on trips overseas or start teaching as a sensei for Jujutsu Tech made it a bit unbearable and lonely sometimes.

The more time that Satoru had to take care of for himself, he became bolder yet he managed to be so quiet at the same time. Sure, he always fooled around with you, maybe teasing you in front of Principal Yaga (which was embarrassing to have your old sensei and now principal watch these scenes unfold), but it always seemed as if he was hiding secrets.

Every time you asked him what was wrong and you always encouraged him to come to you, he’d do so, but it wasn’t long until both of you actually started sleeping with one another. And, yeah, he was really good in bed, but when time progressed, he became softer and gentler with his touches.

Whenever you asked him why it always seemed like he was hiding something, he’d tell you that you were overreacting and that you needed to not overthink things. But Satoru was your best friend for so long, and after all, it was difficult to not see right through your best friend.

When you explained to Satoru that you wanted to stop all of this curse exorcising and wanted to live a ‘normal life, he didn’t argue with you. Although, this made both of you a bit distant from each other. It was hard at first, but Satoru didn’t like the idea of Nanami consistently giving you the most company, even though you were both working together now.

There was a time where Satoru ignored you for a good amount of time. He didn’t answer your texts or even your phone calls, he didn’t mean to hurt you in this sense, though he found himself falling for you harder as well too. But he couldn’t ruin the friendship you both had; the strong connection you shared with him.

Satoru had to admit to himself that he loved the sex, yeah, but he loved being able to be around you. They were the only moments when he could have the option to kiss you, hug you tightly with so much affection in his heart, and talk about how beautiful you were even if it meant that you’d smack him on the face afterward because you were just always so playful and that’s how you were.

──── ⋅♡⋅ ────

It was difficult to maintain a close friendship with Satoru.

Not because he was outrageously witty and flamboyant with his high and mighty powers, but it was more so that you were falling hard for your best friend. Whom you had grown up together with at the same school; the same one who would knock you down during every bit of training that you’d get, and you’d scold him for offering such a weird demand since you knew every time he requested to train with you, Satoru would easily win every time.

When he became a teacher and you had recently quit Jujutsu Tech, you decided to work with one of his other friends, which was Nanami Kento. However, his job was absolutely draining, but it definitely beat the consistent outings of exorcising curses and you preferred to live a life as normal as possible without having to put yourself on the line.

During work, as of at that moment, your feelings were soaring at the sight of Satoru’s name popping up on his phone. Nanami consistently lectured you with the tough personality he had, claiming you could easily find someone more suitable for your tastes, but he always let it go.

“Enough being a child,” Nanami scolded you, eyes scanning through the newspaper in his hands. How could he find the old articles to be so fascinating? “Tell Satoru how you feel.”

“Or what?” You cocked a brow before taking a sip of your coffee. “You’ll tell him yourself?”

“I’m not in elementary school. Both of you are adults here, or at least, I thought,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I am tired of him texting me of your whereabouts. It has gotten to the point where I had to block his number but I couldn’t due to the higher ups’ and their needs of exorcising curses.”

“Sounds like a real bummer for you.”

“You seriously have no idea,” he responded, avoiding eye contact before turning a page of his newspaper. “Now tell him that you have feelings for him.”

“Nanami,” you sighed, placing your cup of coffee on the table in front of you. Both of you were on your lunch breaks, which ironically, most of the time you both decide to take it together so you wouldn’t feel too lonely. “You make it sound so easy.”

“You’re the one making it difficult.” He huffed.

“Come on,” you shook your head, placing your hands out in frustration. “How do I approach it?”

“Y/N, I am not going to answer that question since you already know the answer to it.”

“Nanami.”

“Lunch break is almost over,” Nanami quipped, checking his watch.

You blinked at him. “It has only been like ten minutes.”

“It’s mentally over for me,” Nanami spoke before standing up and making his way to the door.

You furrowed your eyebrows at the tall man who was casually making his exit from the conversation you were both sharing. “Hey—Nanami, you ass! I thought we were supposed to be helping each other!”

“Language, Y/N, we are working,” he shook his head before slamming the wooden door.

“We are on break!”

──── ⋅♡⋅ ────

Satoru continued to drag on this act where it became the usual of seeing each other, having casual small talk, have sex, and then he’d be off the next day. The idea of that strong friendship slowly became a ‘friends with benefits’, and then, it hurt you more than you imagined.

At one point, Satoru got lectured by Nanami over the phone about you and him being complete children and it was about time to confess his feelings—or vice versa, or really, both in this sense—because he couldn’t stand your constant worries at work. (Really though, Nanami just cared for you, and he was tired of seeing you sulk in pain).

So, finally, Satoru decided it was time to open up about how he felt.

When Satoru asked you to see him at his place or have him go over to yours, it didn’t take long for him to flash over to where you were and have both of you meet. It was difficult, seeing him the way that he was, and he looked lost in his eyes though they were hidden beneath the blindfold that he wore.

The night was still young, streetlights were flickering, and the wind was chilly. Both of you stared at each other in silence before both of you had decided to open your mouths at the same time and speak simultaneously.

“I need to tell you something.”

Both of you spoke, and before you knew it, you both let out a loud, boisterous laugh that echoed throughout the park that you met up Satoru. It was charming, it was an enjoyable moment and you felt your knees weakened at the thought of you having that small spark of connection together.

It made your heart flutter, but the time was now or never.

“So,” Satoru grinned, almost as if he grew a large amount of confidence not too long ago. “Shall I go first or should you?”

“I mean,” you gritted your teeth, fighting back the nervous ticks. (But you gave in and then fidgeted with your hands anyways. God, this was harder than expected). “I don’t know where to start.”

“Neither do I,” Satoru’s grin faded into a soft smile before he took a few steps closer to you.

His smile began to fade which made your heart drop quickly; there must’ve been something cold or terrible he had to say. The look Satoru made was not something you enjoyed seeing, and nonetheless, you were a subject to the expression on his face. Overall, this was difficult to witness, and this didn’t help the shakiness of your hands.

“What we’re doing…” his voice trailed off as he tilted his head. And—why do the cute gestures have to be so heartwarming in a serious atmosphere like this? It was illegal for him to act this way. Definitely.

“You mean… the sex?” You questioned; you knew the answer. Of course, you did. But you wanted to clarify anyways.

“I don’t think we can keep it going, Y/N.”

And—this was it. The moment of truth. You felt your face become heavy, and not the way that you’d hoped for. “I mean, I get it. We are all gonna be with someone and fall in love and well, yeah, you get it.”

“I don’t think you get it,” Satoru responded as he untied the back of his blindfold.

Within a matter of seconds, his blindfold fell to his hands and his bright, blue eyes were charming its way to your gaze. A smile grew on his face and he cupped his hands on your cheeks, letting his thumbs flutter over your blush.

“W-What do you mean?” You asked, suddenly forgetting how to breathe at his sudden touch.

“I like you a lot,” Satoru smiled. “I always have, ever since we were young and dumb and well, I guess we are still pretty young and du—”

You couldn’t help but flick his forehead for that, completely ruining the moment.

Satoru grunted, not minding that he completely turned off his Infinity for that. “Okay, okay. But Y/N, I like you. A lot. And I seriously do. I’ve fallen for you pretty fucking hard.”

You didn’t expect yourself to fall into his arms, inhaling the scent of his cologne and before he even had the chance to say something at your immediate reaction, you placed a kiss on his lips, feeling that strong connection build-up. It wasn’t so empty anymore; it had more sense to you to act this way once the feelings had suddenly been returned, and although, you hadn’t opened up about how you felt, the action said a lot more than it needed.

You felt him smile against the kiss and then to your surprise, he tightened his grip on you and held you up in the air, allowing yourself to laugh out loud like a happy child, and the audible sound coming out of your mouth was heartwarming to him. He missed hearing that laugh; only he could make you laugh so hard to the point where you knew you’d wanna hit him for being annoying yet you loved it at the same time. And—all in all, your heart couldn’t take anymore.

“I like you too,” you chuckled as he finally set you down and both of your foreheads met. “I like you a lot. I always have to.”

“How could you not?” Satoru cheekily grinned before you raised your hand up to smack him. “I—hey, am I wrong? I did have a feeling you have always liked me.”

You ended up smacking him anyways.

And, well, no. He wasn’t wrong.

[jayoctodot]

The Silent Patient vs The Maidens

I will start by saying that I understand the appeal of these novels as page-turners. They are easy to read and if you want a twisty reveal at the end, you will probably be entertained and satisfied. That being said, I am SO CONFUSED by the near-universal adoration of The Silent Patient and the reasonably positive reception of The Maidens. The weaknesses of the two are strikingly similar, as well, which doesn’t give me much hope of seeing improvement from this guy, though I am intrigued to see whether he keeps repeating the same (apparently successful!!) patterns. These books were at least super fun to hate.

(For context, I read The Maidens for a bookclub I'm in, because several of the members had read and loved The Silent Patient, and one of them gave me a copy of the latter to read on my own time. I loathed The Maidens and then read The SP for comparative purposes. And because I'm a masochist, apparently.)

SPOILER WARNING! Do not read on unless you've finished both books (or unless you care not for spoilers). Sorry if it gets a bit shouty.

Here are the similar weaknesses I noticed in both:

PSEUDO-PSYCHOLOGY

-> Weirdly similar “group therapy” scenes early on where a cartoonishly unstable patient arrives late, disrupts the meeting by throwing something into the middle of the circle, and is asked to join the group after the therapist(s) speechify on the importance of boundaries (HA! None of these therapists would know an appropriate boundary if it kicked them in the ass) and debate whether to “allow” the patient to join. Both scenes are so transparent in their design to establish the credibility/legitimacy of the narrators as therapists, but instead both Theo and Mariana come off as super patronizing. The protagonists are less and less believable as therapists at the stories progress (though at least Theo’s incompetence is explained away by the “twist” at the end; Mariana, on the other hand, is confronted in the opening pages of the novel by a patient who has self-harmed PRETTY extensively, and rather than ensure he get proper medical attention, she essentially throws him a first aid kit and tosses him out the door so she can pour herself a glass of wine and call her niece... and it devolves from there).

-> Ongoing insistence throughout the narrative that one’s childhood trauma entirely explains the warped/dysfunctional way a character behaves or views the world, which is why the books go out of their way to give EVERY potentially violent character a traumatic childhood; when Theo insists that no one ever became an abuser who hadn’t been abused themselves, I wanted to throw the book across the room. (That is a MYTH, SIR. GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR ARMCHAIR PSYCHOLOGY.)

-> Female murderers whose pathology boils down to “history of depression” and “traumatized by a male loved one/family member.” Because, as we all know, depression + abuse = murderer!

-> The “therapy” depicted in both books is laughable and so so unrealistic, mostly because neither narrators function as therapists so much as incompetent detectives, obsessively pursuing a case they have no place pursuing (or skill to pursue - both just happen across every clue mostly by way of clunky conversation with all the people who can provide precisely the snippet of info to send them along to the next person, and the next… until all is revealed in a tired, cliched “twist”). Their constant Psych 101 asides were so tiresome and weirdly dated (also, the constant harping on countertransference got so ridiculous that at one point during "therapy" Theo literally attributes his headache and a particular emotion he feels to Alicia, as though the contents of her head are being broadcast directly into his mind... and I'm PRETTY SURE that's not how it works???)

CHARACTERS

-> Psychotherapist narrators with abusive fathers and pretensions of being Sherlock Holmes, which results in both characters crossing ALL KINDS of ethical lines as they invade the personal lives of everyone even tangentially connected to their cases (and, in Theo's case, violate all kinds of patient confidentiality. Yeah, yeah, by the end, that's the least of his offenses, but before you get there, it's baffling that NO ONE is calling him out on this).

-> All female characters are either elderly with hilariously bad advice, monstrous hulking brutes, or beautiful bitches (except for ~MARIANA~, who is Bella Swan-esque in her unawareness of her own attractiveness, despite multiple men trying to get with her almost immediately after meeting her. I'm so tired of beautiful female characters being oblivious to their own hotness. Are we meant to believe all mirrors and male attention have escaped their notice? If it’s to make them “relatable,” this tactic really fails with me).

-> All characters of color are shallow, cartoonish side characters, and most of them are depicted as unsympathetic minor antagonists (the Sikh Chief Inspector in The Maidens continuously drinks tea from an ever-present thermos, and his only other notable characteristic is his instant dislike of Mariana, whom he VERY RIGHTLY warns to stay out of the investigation that she is VERY MUCH compromising… the Caribbean manager of the Grove is universally disliked by her staff for enforcing stricter safety regulations at the bafflingly poorly run mental institution, because HOW DARE SHE. There's a very clear vibe that we're supposed to dislike these characters and share the protagonists' indignation, but honestly Sangha/Stephanie were completely in the right for trying to shut down their wildly inappropriate investigations).

-> "Working class" characters (or basically anyone excluded from the comfortably upper-crust, educated main cadre of characters) are few and far between in both stories, but when they show up, he depicts them as such caricatures. We got Elsie the pathologically lying housekeeper in the Maidens, who is enticed to share her bullshit with cake, and then a TOOTHLESS LEPRECHAUN DEALING DRUGS UNDER A BRIDGE in the SP. I kid you not, a man described as having the body of a child, the face of Father Time, and no front teeth, emerges from beneath a bridge and offers to sell Theo some "grass." I was dyinggg.

-> There are no characters to root for. Anywhere. Partly because they’re all so thinly drawn — and because we’re clearly supposed to view almost ALL of them as potential suspects, so they’re ALL weird, creepy, or incompetent in some way.

-> The flimsiest of flimsy motives, both for the narrators and the murderers. Theo fully would have gotten away with his involvement in the murder if he hadn't gone out of his way to work at the Grove and "treat" Alicia and his justification for doing so is pretty weak; his rapid descent into stalking and murder fantasy and his random ass decision to "expose" Alicia's husband as a cheater with a spur-of-the-moment home invasion and staged attempted homicide is ONLY justified if the reader hand waves it away as WELP, HE'S CRAZY, I GUESS (after all, he DID have an abusive father and a history of mental illness, and in Michaelides novels, that's ALL YOU NEED to become a violent psycho). I guess we're lucky Mariana didn't also start dropping bodies (because the logic of his fictional universe says she should definitely be a murderer by now... maybe that'll be his Maidens sequel?). But she especially had NO reason to randomly turn detective - and she kept trying to justify it by saying she needed to re-enter the world or that Sebastian would want her to (??), even though she had no background in criminal psychology... or even a particular fondness for mysteries (really, I would've accepted ANYTHING to explain her dogged obsession with the case. WHY were Sebastian and Zoe so certain she would insert herself into the investigation just because one of Zoe's friends was the first victim? WHY?). As for Zoe and Alicia, their motives are mere suggestions: they were both abused and manipulated, and voila! Slippery slope to murder.

WRITING STYLE

-> Incessant allusions to Greek tragedy and myth, apparently to provide a sophisticated gloss over the bare-bones writing style, which opts more for telling than showing and frequently indulges in hilariously bizarre analogies. Credit where credit is due — the references to Greek myth are less clunky in the SP, and I liked learning about the Alcestis play/myth, which I hadn’t heard of before - but OMG the entire characterization of Fosca, who we are meant to believe is a professor of Greek tragedy at one of the most respected universities on the planet, is just absurd. His "lecture" on the liminal in Greek tragedy is essentially the Wikipedia page on the Eleusinian Mysteries capped off with some Hallmark-card carpe diem crap. The lecture hall responds with raucous applause, clearly never having heard such vague genius bullshit before.

-> Super clunky and amateurish narrative device of interludes written by another character; Sebastian’s letter reads like a mashup of Dexter monologues and Clarice’s memory of the screaming sheep, but by FAR the worse offender is Alicia’s diary, where we’re supposed to believe she painstakingly recorded ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS, BEAT-BY-BEAT DIALOGUE, even when she’s just been DRUGGED TO THE GILLS with morphine and has mere moments of consciousness left… and even before that, she literally takes the time to write “He's trying the windows and doors! ...Someone’s inside! Someone’s inside the house! ETC ETC” when she thinks her stalker has broken in downstairs. WHO DOES THAT?)

-> Speaking of dialogue, the dialogue is so bad. Based on his bio, Michaelides got a degree in screenwriting, which makes his terrible dialogue even more baffling.

-> HILARIOUSLY rendered voyeur scenes where the narrators spy on couples having sex. Such unintentionally awkward descriptions. First we had Kathy’s climax sounds through the trees and then the bowler hat carefully placed on a tombstone before the gatekeeper plows a student. Again, I died.

PLOT/"TWIST"

-> The CONSTANT red herrings make for such an exhausting read. Michaelides drops anvils with almost every character that are so obviously meant to designate them as suspects in our minds. There is absolutely no subtlety in his misdirections.

-> The “crossover” scene between the SP and The Maidens makes no sense - when in the timeline does Mariana’s story overlap with Theo’s? They confer just before Theo starts working at the Grove, obviously (though Mariana appears to be the one who alerts Theo to the job opening there? Whereas in the SP, Theo has been obsessively tracking Alicia since the murder and had already planned to apply to work there?), but then are we supposed to believe that while Theo has been psychotically pursuing his warped quest to “help” Alicia, he’s also been diligently treating Zoe, so invested in her case that he repeatedly reaches out to Mariana to get her to visit Zoe and even writes Mariana a lengthy letter to convince her to do so??? And then a couple days after The Maidens ends, Theo is arrested???

-> But the thing I really did hate the most is how Michaelides treats his female murderers (who are both also victims themselves) as mere means to deploy a “twist”; there’s no moment spared to encourage our sympathy for Zoe, who was groomed and manipulated by the only trusted father figure in her life, and even after spending a decent amount of time getting to know Alicia via her ridiculous diary, where it’s so apparent that she’s been demeaned, objectified, manipulated, gaslit, and/or used by EVERY man in her life, she’s sent packing to spend the rest of her days in a coma… HOW much more satisfying would it have been for her to succeed in exposing Theo and reclaiming her voice? But no, she basically rolls over when he comes to finish her off (SPEAKING OF — ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THERE ARE NO SECURITY CAMERAS IN THIS INSTITUTE FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE????), writes one last diary entry, and drifts off forever. And then a couple pages of nothing later, the story is over. GOODNIGHT, ALICIA!

Both books kept me rolling throughout (by which I mean eye-rolling but also rotfl). Maybe I will check out his next effort — I’m morbidly curious what he’ll turn out. It does leave me wondering whether I should give up on thriller novels entirely, though. Are many of the weaknesses of these novels just characteristic of the genre? Maybe I'm just holding these books to unfair standards? I'm mostly only familiar with thriller films — many of which I think are amazing — but maybe you can get away with more in a film than you can in a novel.

...I really only intended to write a handful of bullet points, but more and more kept coming to mind as I wrote, to the point where subheadings became necessary. Whoopsie.

[racheloveyunho]

Till death do us part - 4

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful   and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after   the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her  father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids   were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a  sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess,   bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his   beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze   locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 1883

TW series:  Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain  a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug,  kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Obsessive behavior (from Y/N’s and San’s side), threats, swearing and a hint of jealousy.

Here it was, the silhouette I liked the most

"San..."

He hugged me tightly as if there was no tomorrow. I noticed how he was sweaty and out of breathe, probably from running to get to me faster.

I breathed in his unique scent, it was woody scent, something fresh but still manly. I felt safer with him, everything was easier when he was by my side. I didn't want to let him go and my feelings seemed mutual as he tightened his grip on my waist.

I was like a piece of metal attracted to a magnet.

We sat down on the bed and he let me cry my heart out, listening every word I had to say. I told him my story, my conflictual relationship with my father, how harsh he was with me and my brother since my mom passed away and my arranged wedding with this Hwang Jinyoung.

We talked for two good hours about my problems but also about the future we both wanted.

As time went on, I started to feel sleepy, my eyelids were heavy and my mind was cloudy. I slowly closed my eyes until I fell into a deep sleep into San's arms. He gently patted my head to help me fall asleep.

"Don't worry Y/N, I will protect you from now on."

San hummed a song before falling asleep by Y/N’s side.

----------------------

Chapter 4

I woke up in the same room I felt asleep on. The unusual walls made my heart ache at the thought of what had happened between my father and I. I knew deep inside me that there will be no turning back with my relationship with him but strangely enough, i didn't feel bad about it, I was more concerned about my brother than anything.

"Did you sleep well?"

I looked up and was greeted by this angelical face of his. San was laying on the same bed as me, one of his muscular arm holding my frame tightly. I smiled back and hide my face on his chest, smelling his addictive scent at the same time.

"I did."

It was a weird feeling. I knew almost nothing of San, I met him three times and still... I felt as if I could give him my whole body and soul. I couldn't help but think about what my mom told me when I was still a child.

"Someday you will find someone you can rely on, someone who doesn't need words to know how you feel, someone who understand and cherish you as the most precious thing in the world. You will find this person one day Y/N, I'm sure of it."

My lips came upward in a smile as I remembered my mom's word, they had a new meaning to me since I met San.

His grip tightened a little around me while his other hand was busy, gently petting my hair.

"You are acting like a boyfriend"

"Do you like it?"

"Very much" I smiled, looking fondly at him and before I knew it, San leaned on and kissed me slightly.

His lips felt like feather, there was nothing but sweetness and love in this kiss, his right hand cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb against the soft skin.

When our lips finally moved apart, I looked up to meet his - oh so lovely - gaze.

"You are so beautiful"

"Say the man whom is beauty itself" I giggled softly.

This moment was almost perfect - almost.

My mind was quick to remember about the bitterness of the situation I was in. I looked down sadly, avoiding San's intrigued eyes.

A lot of questions were running on my mind. What will happen from now on? I was still minor and my dad was stubborn, he would never let me escape from his grasp so easily. How will I survive? I didn't even had enough money to stay on this hotel for more than a week.

Unconsciously, I sighed heavily. San took my chin between his thumb and his index and lift my face towards his.

"What is it?" San asked me in a whisper.

"Did you bring your phone with you? I have to call Hana, she must be worried."

After a few seconds, he nodded and gave me his phone. I entered the familiar number and quickly enough, Hana's voice was heard through the phone.

"Y/N!! Is everything okay? I was worried sick! I thought you were coming early in the morning?" Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence. I frowned my eyebrows. She was whispering yelling and it was odd since she was always a loud girl.

"Sorry, I didn't wake up. Why are you this quiet?" I suspiciously asked.

"Y/N, I don't think you should come here, your father was there one hour ago and he was beyond furious! He threatened me and my family, saying that he will ruin our lives if he find out we are hiding you from him!" She cried out.

This sentence came before a long and heavy silence where no one dared to talk. My mind was processing this new information while my heart was scolding me for bringing my best friend and her family into a delicate situation.

San was quietly listening to our conversation, his right hand on top of mine while his thumb was gently rubbing the back of my hand.. 

"I'm so sorry Hana... I didn't mean to bring you into this mess..." I lowered my voice, guilt eating me alive.

"Hey sweety... It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong but... I don't think this is a good idea to go against your father will. He is really scary."

"Are you telling me to came back home and let my father do everything he wants with me?" My throat felt suddenly dry and my heart heavy in my chest.

No answer.

I knew she was just afraid of what could possibly happen to her and her family, she just wanted to protect her loved ones. However, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. She knew how my father was and how hard it was for me to handle this situation.

"I see. Don't worry for me, I'm gonna find a way." I finally stated with the coldest voice I could muster. I didn't let her the time to give an answer and hung up right away.

I stayed silent for a while and so did San.

After what seemed like an eternity, I finally looked up at him and sighed with a small smile "Thank you for what you did to me. I owe you one"

"Why are you talking as if you are going somewhere?" he arched his eyebrows before leaning close to me with his signature smirk of his "I'm not planning to let you go away from me, love."

I gasped in surprise "L-love?" I asked stuttering, embarrassed by this sudden pet name.

"Why are you embarrassed about? We just kissed a few minutes ago"

I avoided his gaze and coughed slightly to get rid of the awkwardness "I can't stay here San... You will be in trouble if my dad find out you helped me and I don't want it to happen."

This time, it was San's turn to sight.

"Y/N. Listen to me. I will let you two choices" I frowned but stayed silent to let him continue "You don't know who I am but I can help you. However I won't take you with me if you don't want to. It's up to you. Do you want to stay with me, where I'll promise to keep you safe by my side, or do you want to go back and be toyed your entire life by your father against your own will?"

Silence again.

His face was serious and his voice demanding, It actually made me think I couldn't choose the latter choice - not that I wanted to choose this option anyway.

"Why are you doing this.. I mean, we don't know much about each other and-"

"Kim Y/N, born in Seoul the 25th September 1999 at 3:48. You like horror movies and all kind of sweets, your mother passed away the 4th June and since then, your father had changed completely, leaving you and your brother behind" San said, never breaking visual contact with me "You are the student with the best grades on your class and you are the teacher's favorite and even though you want to attend the prestigious Seoul national college, you don't know what to do in your life yet"

I was astonished, how did he get all his information?

As if on cue, he slipped a hand in my hair "It's been two years now Y/N, no one know you as much as I do. I know every single details about you but now, I don't want to look at your life from far away, I want to be apart of it" He smiled but frowned as I slowly stepped away from him "were you stalking me all this time?" I asked, heart beating fast.

"Come on, I know you are as obsessed over me as I am over you" He laughed before standing up and quickly doing his hair while looking his own reflect on the mirror “I was there every time you talked to your friend about me”

I watched his every move and couldn’t find anything to say. No matter how crazy it sounded, I knew he was right.

"And how are you gonna help me?"

"Your dad isn't all white, quite the contrary" He said "I know enough to tell him to let you be" He added.

"Are you going to... threaten him?" I looked at him through the mirror.

"Why? You don't want me to?" He smiled at me, his back still facing me.

I took a deep breathe.

"No... He deserves it"

He turned around and came closer to me with the widest smirk.

"So... Are you coming with me?"

I watched as the landscape kept changing from outside the window. The spacious car was moving in slow pace in a part of Seoul I never went in.

I knew it was the beginning of something new but everything seemed so unreal, the only thing that kept me back to reality was the warmth of San's hand intertwining with mine.

I quickly take a glance at the driver, his sharp nose and strong eyes made him look cold, a perfect contrast with his tanned skin. I was surprised by how young he was, probably not much older than San and I and obviously both of them were getting along with each other.

I was so focus on looking at the man and wondering who he was to San that I didn't took notice of my staring until I felt San squeezing my hand.

"Y/N...I'm not sure of how I feel about you looking at another man" He pouted cutely to grab my attention back to him. I laughed lowly and gave him a apologetic look "I'm not sure how I feel about you being jaleous while we are not in an official relationship yet" I smirked at him.

"The kiss wasn't official enough for you?" He smirked back "should I give you an other one then? " He asked, his face coming closer to mine.

His lips ghosted over mine but we were interrupted by a loud cough before we could properly touch each other.

"Please San, can you keep your hands for yourself until you both are alone? I don't especially want to see you guys kiss in the back seat of my car" The driver said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Look who is talking" San scoffed "Should I remind you how many times you made out with your girlfriend in front of me?"

The older man let out a dry laugh, his eyes still on the road.

After a few minutes of a comfortable silencex the driver looked at me from the front mirror.

"Your name is Y/N, right?"

"Yes... And you are..?"

"I'm Seonghwa. Park Seonghwa" He said "I'm glad to meet you, San wouldn't shut up and talk about you every fucking day" He laughed, earning another loud scoff from San.

"Watch your mouth, you are older but I'm still the boss here" San growled.

Suddenly, the car stopped abruptly.

"We safely came back to your home sir~" Seonghwa politely stated, not without a hint of teasing in his voice.

San pulled me out of the car, hand still holding mine firmly. I followed him and looked up at the huge mansion in front of us.

My mouth fell agape, this place was way bigger than mine.

"Welcome to your new house" San smiled.

----------- 

-----------

We are finally starting to introduce the others members!

Also this chapter is a bit shorter, I didn’t even noticed until I checked the number of words but I thought it was better this way, there was nothing to add since the next chapter was already done lol.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it!

See you next time~

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2 @xduygu-arsx @joongiebug @leicy0756

[starshipsofstarlord]

Can you do part 2 of chandelier?

Chandelier

This is part to to this imagine, find it here

Pairing | dark!Wanda Maximoff x reader

Summary | the suburban life that you have been locked in soon takes a turn whence another being, with radiating power is revealed to be causing such destruction. Perhaps Wanda isn’t the bad guy, or at least, not the worst villain that has you under their thumb. Witches, and their possessiveness!

Warnings | mentions of death, violence, witches, magic, imprisonment, angst, spoilers for Wandavision. I fixed the Ralph Bohner plot because I could

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Time had surpassed, and continuing to live under the restrictions of Wanda hadn’t been so bad. She was your wife, the Maximoff that owned your heart, a red beam of scarlet that floated around in the depths of your head. Her influence left a pressure inside of you, a mark and a reminder to her that you belonged to her.

One thing that you knew for certain, was that you needed to escape these red restrictions, and break free of this place that you were forced to call home. It was tough to slip from the penetrating gaze of the possessive redhead, but to your luck, your nosey neighbour had decided, on this fine evening, to walking into the kitchen, and stir up some gossip with your partner.

Agnes, as she went by. It always seemed like she wanted to be away from that husband Ralph of hers, but you couldn’t blame her, you wanted nothing more than to escape the possessiveness of your wife. She was no longer the same woman that you had met, she was crafted by loss, that tormented her into being a captive. Using the excuse of protecting you to her advantage, claiming that you would not appreciate what lay on the outside of Westview.

Party girls don't get hurt

Can't feel anything, when will I learn?

I push it down, push it down

I'm the one "for a good time call"

But you couldn’t help but feel completed as you reached the borders of the town. It was surreal, you felt ecstatic to leave this little prison, that was in deep disguise to convince all residents that their home was real, and not all an illusion painted by a certain redhead. She saw you as a new canvas, which she kept overlapping with white paint to make blank for another piece of mindful artwork.

Turning once more, to ensure that the woman of your nightmares hadn’t decided to appear behind you, within a second, you lurched forward, pushing your body through her borders, feeling each atom in your atom tug apart and put itself back together, as you fought with just your own body to break through the access and exit point of her false reality.

That’s all this was, an illusion, masked in amounts of power that could possibly kill you. But death by attempted escape was better than remaining here, in this vast plain, that was all meant to occupy the mind, fooling it into thinking that this was a normal life. Instead, you knew how absurd it was, there were tweaks every now and then, until you were transferred into a different time.

Right now, you were in the 2000s, but you needed to get back to 2023, the real time line, the universe outside of these red orbits that stood strong, and pained your skin, pushing a power that you did not know that you could feel beneath your flesh, making your body burn from your withdrawal from its sharp contents.

Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell

I feel the love, feel the love

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

One. Two. Three. A yell bellowed from your throat as you fell out to the other side, collapsing on the ground, as your fingertips dug into the surface below. For a moment you frowned, before you glanced behind you, seeing the grand gesture of magic in its place, and you out of your own. You picked dirt up with your hands, it felt real, not like molecules that had been wedged together to create the appearance of such a natural substance.

The sound of footsteps had you rolling over, preparing to attack whomever had decided to disturb your peace, crouching on your knees as you glared up. It was a woman, one that you vaguely remembered, before your ever so loving wife had informed you that she had moved away, something about her mother not feeling well. All though, that may have been an illusion too, for all you were aware.

Nobody escaped Westview, until you. There was no route out, you were sure the chase wasn’t over, Wanda would come after you, numbing your mind with her tugging hands, that swirled with her red essence. The woman emitted grave power, and you far well knew that she would use it for when the time came. She would make you her prisoner once more, a dull and empty shell that would be ordered to do nothing more than return her affections with a plastered smile.

“Geraldine?” You asked nervously, realising that the woman appeared far different than the version of her within the Hex. She had portrayed nothing more than a fine friend to the deluded woman, supporting her magic show and coming over for tea in the morning, until she mentioned... Sokovia. Sokovia, her home, that had fallen against the battle with Ultron! You remembered!

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier

From the chandelier

I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist

Like it doesn't exist

“Geraldine doesn’t exist.” She smiled softly, holding out a hand so that she could assist you to your feet. With sly eyes, you took it, untrusting of anyone at the moment. “My name is Monica, I have the intent of stopping your wife, she’s dangerous. She’s expanding these borders, and soon, I have no doubt that she will eat up the whole world, turning it into her playground.”

Playgrounds. They had been another thing that you noticed specked around the town, though there never seemed to be any children to play in them. That gave you some relief, unless they were locked up, stowed away to be kept of the suburban life. Wanda didn’t want children anyway, she wanted you, her baby, her fine darling, her pet. You were nothing more than a decoration within her false realm, a means to keep a smile stretched upon her sinister face, and a stopper to her darting red eyes.

And thus you stood on your own feet, no scarlet shadow behind you, whispering thoughts that were not your own in through your ear. Gulping, you looked Monica up and down, nervously seeing if she were to fade into the air, as many things did when the times changed, as they converted into more modern alternatives. A part of you had wished that you would grow with the changes, become stronger, become a free woman.

“I am not her wife.” You admitted aloud, feeling a heavy weight roll off your chest. There, you had said it, and for the first time, you hoped that the redhead heard you, you could imagine her scowl right now. That, that would be something that was sure as hell real, and not a part of her sketch script, her sitcoms were curtains.

They could be opened or closed, but often of a night, were shut to keep the silhouettes of monsters out. She was the monster, hiding from herself and the reality that she had came from. Though, the woman could not accept that she was the villain here. The creator of the dialysis that was affecting the lives of many, but for what purpose.

I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night

Feel my tears as they dry

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier

From the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life

“We have to stop her.” Monica spoke, getting out of the vehicle, you following behind her, as she moved closer to the collateral red veil that reached high up into the sky. Sounds from Jimmy insisted that she remain, and that another way in could be found, but all of you knew that was a long shot. And there was no time to wait around, not as purple grates were seen through the crimson walls of her boundaries, bursting like fireworks against her protection system.

And thus, you, gulping down the sensations of fear prickling at your fingers, followed after Monica, whom walked through the moulded fire, stepping into the plain that digressed your body, pulling it as though it were trying to reform your genes, affecting your DNA. As you succumbed to the sensations, you felt a burst in your chest, an ignition of something greater deep inside you.

But unlike Wanda, you were not going to use it for your own sinful convenience, you were going to stop her. You gasped as you fell out the other side, your limbs feeling like they were aflame, askew with treacherous fire. Turning to Monica, you saw that her eyes had transformed into an ambient blue, piercing your soul.

Won't look down, won't open my eyes

Keep my glass full until morning light

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Help me, I'm holding on for dear life

Won't look down, won't open my eyes

“Your skin.” She spiked, raising her hand to her own cheek as she looked upon you. It was separated into sections, adjoined by the bone, as neon orange kept it attached, like cracks that had yet to be partitioned. There was no time for idly finding a mirror to squalor through at your own appearance though, no. You had returned to this hell for one reason only, and that was put an end to all this consuming madness.

And so, the pair of you walked through the town, not having to go far until you saw the ongoing battle. Agnes, as you had known her, was in the sky, along with you alleged wife, purple robes floating from her body, her hair crazed and wild, much like her eyes. She was no friendly neighbour, she was a reaper coming out to play, throwing lilac bursts of power towards Wanda, whom returned the favour with her own red energy.

“How do we get to them?” Rambeau asked, frowning as she watched their exchange with worried irises. To answer her question, your body aligned itself to rise, transcending towards the two warriors, your eyes hot and fiery as they flared remarkably at the sight of the bewitched competition.

At your presence, Agnes smirked, and Wanda’s face paled, soaking in the sight of your skin glowing with your own source of power. “If it isn’t your wife, just on time to join us for the main course.” Your nose curled at the sound of her distorted voice, as your head raised itself, glaring upon the scene. “There’s something different about you, I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

Keep my glass full until morning light

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight, on for tonight

Sun is up, I'm a mess

Gotta get out now, gotta run from this

Here comes the shame, here comes the shame

To emphasise her point, she emitted a pulse of her magic towards you, it hitting deep in the pit of your chest. Though, it didn’t explode, or send you hurtling back, instead it grew brawlingly in your chest, brewing like a potion, and expanding every human structure that you could feel kept your skeleton upright.

As your head fall, and you remained in your place, Wanda frowned, head tilting as a crown appeared upon her forehead. She could not understand how you had changed so clearly. You were definitely not her wife, you were an image of her enemy, floating alongside her, standing for your cause. That was to end her, and this place she had formatted to become her home; your home.

When she had learnt of your betrayal, escaping whilst she was distracting by this opposer of hers, she had been filled with various emotions. Angry was one definition of how she had felt, but another had been determined. She was determined to get you back, and wash away all thoughts of ever leaving her again. But as she looked upon you, for some reason, she knew that her tricks wouldn’t work.

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

One, two, three, one, two, three, drink

Throw 'em back 'til I lose count

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier

“What are you?” She asked in that distressed accent of hers. What were you? It was unknown, or at least to your own knowledge, you were a vision, a bird set free, no longer trapped behind the bars of a cage. Wanda tried to thrust your to the side with her elegant will, but instead of obeying her technical whim, you tilted your head.

It came as a shock to you as well, having expected to be thrown around by her wishes, but instead, you remained, only absorbing her tainted force, your hair blowing from the sweeping of the stormy wind as you poised the two witches with your amber gaze, keeping your pupils locked on them, as a hurricane rounded through the air, grabbing every form of their power.

The walls of the Hex slowly faded, swirling in the air before coming on command towards you, roping around your limbs before sinking into your flesh, leaving Agatha with a studying from onto her trialed face. She was watching, rather than fighting with you, picking out the little details like she had done with Wanda.

From the chandelier

I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist

Like it doesn't exist

I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night

Feel my tears as they dry

She was the scarlet witch, the most powerful sorceress of all, but you indeed were something else. Monica squinted from below, as she saw a streak of blue oncoming towards her, his willpower transcending through her, as he crumbled mistakenly to the ground.

He was a fake, or was he. As he tripped, Monica caught sight of the flaring purple beads around his neck, and thus, she knelt upon his chest, as she looked at them. This Pietro was being controlled, and she assumed it was through the ancient jewellery, and so, she pulled it from around his neck, scattering the beads upon the street.

As the man looked up, he was astounded. There was a fiery bird igniting in the sky, its wingspan spreading far, as it reigned terror upon all. He was amazed to see the sight once more... she was supposed to be dead. She had sacrificed herself, turned into particles within the universe. But it seemed as though the winged creature, pardoned by great force lived on.

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier

From the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life

Won't look down, won't open my eyes

Keep my glass full until morning light

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Help me, I'm holding on for dear life

“Jean?” He whispered to himself, with a frown, his hand covering his mouth as he thought of his old friend that had facaded into meandering smithereens. Monica sighed at the man, walking closer, as she crossed her arms, looking down upon where he had crashed, and was laying upon the ground.

“Ralph Bohner?” She asked, watching as the stranger frowned at the title that she assumed of hun. With speed, he assisted himself up, brushing his hands on his legs, as he kept blinking up at the apocalyptic sky.

“No, I feel sorry for a dude with that name.” He lightly chuckled, finding the boner joke rather hilarious. “Peter Maximoff is the name, my fine lady.” She shook her head at his efforts but... Maximoff? What about Pietro?

Won't look down, won't open my eyes

Keep my glass full until morning light

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

On for tonight, on for tonight

“She’s the dark Phoenix.” Agatha gulped, her face contorting into one of fear and worry as she looked on at the way your arms spread like an eagle, igniting with their flame like aura. She had heard ancient stories, but they were not from this time. And here you were, facing off against her and the scarlet witch.

They had no chance against you, but Wanda did not know that, and as she readied to face off with you, she found herself being pushed to the ground, by nothing more than your stern gaze. Agatha too was pulled in by your sway, as you forced both to descend, and be grounded.

With a curve of your neck, they found themselves trapped against telephone lines, lines of their own magic pulling at them like strands. They were tied up, like the witches of old, powerless to those that stalked them.

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight

On for tonight, on for tonight

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

All of a sudden, Wanda felt overcome with regret, as she was put in this position. She tried to escape, but Agnes as she had called herself priorly shook her head at the silly girl, understanding that this was the end.

“We are no match for her Wanda. She is not a witch, she is being far more powerful. Fall to her mercy, or you will receive the brunt of it.” Westview had fallen, and thus, Wanda realised that by taking you, you had taken everything right back from her, reciprocating the notion that she had described to be love.

She held on, wanting the night to be over, as she saw Monica, the woman that had tried to help her, behind you. And the man that had posed as her biological brother. There was no hope left for her, no saving her. In the end, she had became the villain. Her and Agatha were not so different after all.

'Cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Oh, I'm just holding on for tonight

On for tonight, on for tonight

[highfaelucien]

for elucien: maybe some soft content of lucien and elain cooking together

send me ship fic prompts!

Elain looked up as she heard a small tap at the door of the kitchen. She glanced towards Nuala and Cerridwen, both of whom remained relaxed, though she couldn't think who would be knocking.

Anyone who typically stayed here, Feyre and Rhys and their Inner Circle, none of them would have knocked. They would just have barged in, on a varying spectrum of politeness.

Azriel was at one end, and Cassian was on the other, which felt an appropriate way of measuring the two brothers' personalities.

"Come in!" she called, looking up from her flour dusted work table.

A golden glimmer caught her eye as one mechanical eye and one of glimmering red peered owlishly around the doorway.

"Lady Elain," he said with that courtly grace, giving her as refined a bow as any she'd ever seen, "Your sister told me that I could find you here. May I approach?"

"Oh," Elain said, a little flustered, feeling her cheeks go warm for reasons entirely unrelated to the heating oven behind her, "Oh, yes, of course, my lord-" she catches herself, remembering that he's not a lord, she corrects, "Lucien."

He inclined his head slightly and approached, carrying a small wicker basket in front of him, which he set gently on the worktop in front of her.

"Your sister told me that you liked to bake down her most days," he said, watching her almost warily, as though he expected her to snap at him for merely being here, "So I brought you a gift."

"A gift?" she repeated, blinking down at the basket.

"It won't bite," he said, with a small smile, "You can open it."

Tentatively, she slid the lid open and peered inside. At once, a tart, wonderful smell of fresh, crisp apples, unlike any she'd ever experienced, emerged from the basket.

She gave a little squeal of delight and took one from the basket, holding it in her hand. It was larger than any she'd ever seen, gleaming as brightly red as a forge. And the smell, even unpeeled, she had never smelled anything so mouthwatering or delicious.

Lucien smiled a little at her reaction to them and answered the question that had been dancing on the tip of her tongue, "They're from the Autumn Court."

There was a flicker in his eyes he couldn't quite read, a sadness, deep and haunted. And she felt it. She felt it, a deep pang in her own chest, twin and echo to what she saw in him. She wasn't sure if he was aware of that, as he kept talking, hands clasped behind his back, bouncing slightly on his toes.

"My mother sent it to me," he told her, and there was a tightness to his voice. She knew little of the other courts, but she had heard Lucien's mother lived a sad existence trapped with his father. "She told me, she told me to offer it to you, so that you would know that Autumn has more to it than the violence and brutality seen from outside."

He laid a gentle hand on the basket's lid, one slim finger tracing another of the apples. They had a meaning to him. A connection to his old court, his old home, the mother he had not seen in so long.

"I thought, perhaps, you could use them in your baking," he said, straightening up and taking a breath, composing himself, "They are best enjoyed when they are cooked."

"They smell even better than this?" Elain blurted, eyes widening.

Lucien huffed a soft laugh, and it felt, oddly, like a victory, "They do indeed. They are made for roasting, for bonfires, and mead. I think they will be an excellent treat for those upstairs. And for you."

She smiled at him, "Thank you," she said, giving him a polite little curtsy, "This is very thoughtful," she gestured towards Nuala and Cerridwen, the two wraiths watching silently but, she knew, listening to every word, "We were actually about to make a pie. I think now it shall be an apple pie."

He smiled at that, then gave her another bow and made to leave. Something about the way he turned, the way his touch had lingered upon the apples, the smell of him, of Autumn, that lingered, the sadness in his eyes, the sadness in her chest, has her calling out to him.

"Perhaps you could stay?"

Nuala and Cerridwen glanced up, but kept their thoughts to themselves, as always.

Lucien turned slowly, seeming a little startled, and looked at her with raised eyebrows, "That's not necessary," he said carefully, "Please, don't feel obliged."

"I don't," she told him firmly, trying to be more assertive, "I think it would be nice to have a practiced hand to show me precisely how to, to slice and spice these apples. So that they taste their best."

He hesitated just a moment, then he gave her a smile and tied his long red hair up into a loose bun on top of his head, securing it with a leather band around his wrist.

"I can certainly do that," he told her, with a soft smile, "I've roasted more of these in my lifetime than I'd care to count."

She gave him a little smile, then turned to Nuala and Cerridwen and said, trying, and failing, to control her blush, "The kitchen may be a little crowded with four of us. I think I can manage, with Lucien's help. Perhaps you could attend to your other duties? I know you're both very busy."

It was painfully transparent, but neither of her friends made any mention of that. They just gave her and Lucien little bows, then vanished through the wall.

Lucien gave an exaggerated shiver at the sight, "Does that ever get unnerving?" he asked Elain, squinting down at her.

She giggled, "I suppose it was at first," she admitted, "I've gotten used to them. Mostly. But I still get a fright if I turn around and they're standing inside the table. I thought perhaps it was just a holdover from my being human."

"No," Lucien said wryly, "That's definitely not a human thing. Standing in tables is downright unsettling."

Elain smiled again, then added, "They've been good friends to me, despite their blatant abuse of furniture. And they're very good bakers."

"That I can attest to as well," Lucien said, washing his hands at the sink, "Their pastries are deliciously light."

She couldn't help noting, out of the corner of her eye, as he rolled up his sleeves, that his arms were corded with muscle, and well toned.

He didn't have the bulk of Cassian, or even Azriel, who was less of a 'beefcake', to use Mor's word, than his brother, but still broad-chested and muscular. He was more delicately crafted, and she bit her lip as her brain very firmly did not object to that one bit.

Lucien didn't seem to notice her ogling. Or if he did, he was polite enough to pretend that he didn't, for which she was grateful.

"Why don't we prepare the apples together?" she suggested, "The pie crust is nearly ready, after all, and there are quite a few of them. I can peel if you don't mind chopping?"

"I am at your service, my lady," Lucien replied, giving her another sweeping bow, "Your kitchen, your authority."

"I don't think anyone has ever given me authority before," she mumbled, before she could stop herself, picking up one of the apples and starting to peel it with a sharp knife.

Lucien took out a cutting board and set it down beside her, fishing a knife from the nearby block.

He smiled as he waited for her to finish with her apple. As she handed it to him, he said, "If you were given authority, over a whole court, let's say, what would it be? A court of pastries and cream? Or perhaps roses and violets?"

She considered, humming, then said bluntly, "Well, it would certainly have a lot more sunlight than there is here."

Lucien laughed, even as she blushed.

"Oh dear," she said, feeling even the newly pointed tips of her ears growing hot, "That sounded rather rude and ungrateful, didn't it?"

"Actually," Lucien said, leaning in conspiratorially, so she once again caught his scent, and trembled with it, "It was quite refreshing. I know that Rhys has an aesthetic to maintain, the dark and broody git, and there's a definite beauty to all of this," he waved his knife around airily, "But it does get a bit depressing day after day."

Elain gave a little squeaky at the mention of Rhys being a 'dark and broody git' but otherwise smiled at Lucien's assessment.

"No-one else seems to have a problem with it," she said, watching as Lucien efficiently cored and sliced the apples she passed him.

He was clearly practiced in the kitchen, which surprised her. She'd been told he was a High Lord's son, a prince - she wasn't sure why they were called princes when their father's were lords, but hadn't questioned it - she hadn't expected culinary training to be in his skillset.

"In fact they all seem to like it, even," she said, with a little sigh, "I miss summers in the mortal lands. Everyone keeps telling me I should stop thinking about it. That my life is here now, but..."

"But it was your home for most of your life," Lucien said quietly, "And that is difficult to forget, or fully escape from, no matter how long you're gone from it."

She nodded, and watched him examine the apple in his hand, that sad longing back on his face.

"Do you miss your home, too?" she asked quietly.

He glanced at her, weighing her, apparently judging how to answer, sincere, or sarcastic. To her surprise, he chose sincerity.

"I do," he said quietly, "Both of them." He sighed very deeply, "I have bad memories connected to both Spring and Autumn. Terrible memories, if truth be told, but..."

"But there are good memories, too," Elain said quietly, finishing the thought, "And other people seem to forget those. Maybe that's why it's been so easy for them to move on with their new lives."

Lucien peered down at her, holding her gaze for a long time, then he nodded.

"When I was given quarters in Tamlin's manor," he said, turning that burning gaze away from her to confront the apples again, "I chose to decorate the space as my rooms had looked at Autumn. Dark wood pannelling, oranges, and reds, and yellows, the colours of the bonfires and falling leaves. Tamlin and the others couldn't understand it. They had thought I would want to erase every memory of that court, after what had happened to me there."

Elain didn't press him to go into details about what precisely that had been. She had overheard snippets and gossip, but she had never gotten the full story. Now did not feel like the time for it.

"They didn't understand," he said, shaking his head, "I left Autumn, left it gladly. But a part of my heart still belonged there. A part of my heart will always belong there. Just as another part will always belong to Spring. My mother was of Autumn. There was a fire in my blood that called to that court. the festivals, and bonfires. The plants, and the people. The scents, and the food, and the beauty of it.

"I still remembered those things fondly. I didn't want to let myself forget. I didn't want to become the kind of person who consisted only of scars, and sadness, defined only by the terrible things that have happened to them."

He huffed a soft laugh and had to stop himself dragging his long fingers through his hair while he was around food.

"I apologise, lady," I came here to deliver you some apples, not wax lyrical on my philosophy of life," he said, inclining his head towards her.

But she laid a gentle hand on his arm and said, "No, I like to hear it. It...It's good to hear, honestly. I don't like to forget the good times, either. Nesta and Feyre, they fit in so well here, and have taken so well to being fae, on the whole. I know that whenever anyone mentions our past in the human world, they think of that cottage. They think of freezing winters, and near starvation. Of abandonment, and rejection, and sadness. So I don't blame them for finding that easy to leave behind."

"What about you, Elain?" Lucien asked, very quietly, "What do you think of?"

Elain closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath, feeling a soft smile touch her lips, "I think of the cottage too," she admitted, "But I remember the way we all clustered around the fire under a big blanket, all of us.

"I remember my little windowbox, and the wild flowers I grew. I tried vegetables, but the seeds were too expensive, and the soil quality was too poor and shallow in my little box. But the flowers made me smile. They brought some colour to our dull, cold world when we needed it most.

"I remember Feyre's painting. And father's carvings. And the stories Nesta wrote and hid from us, but I still found them.

"I remember riding horses with mother when I was little. And pretty dresses that made me feel like a princess.

"I remember singing, and laughing, and living with my family. And sometimes, sometimes I feel mad for focusing on those little things, when everything else was so awful. I feel silly, and childish, and like I should think of things how they were."

"You are," Lucien said quietly, and she opened her eyes, finding him watching her with something close to awe on his face, "All of those things were real. They happened. They are true memories. I, I don't think it is childish to focus on the small things that brought you joy when the world was bleak and full of misery and pain. I think that makes you strong, and wonderful. In a world of harsh, jagged stones, and concrete walls, you find the beauty of the wildflowers growing up between the cracks. That, that is a very special, and noble way to live, I think."

"You see them too, don't you?" she said softly, "The flowers in the windowbox, and fighting to grow between the cracked stones. It's how you've survived after everything that's happened."

Lucien swallowed tightly, but nodded, "I try to," he replied, a little hoasely, "It's not always easy but...I try."

Elain nodded, "Me too," she murmured.

There was a long, intense silence, like a string being pulled taut between them. She felt herself leaning into it, both excited and afraid. Then Lucien cleared his throat and looked away.

She felt the relief, as the tension broke, but also a little disappointment, unable to discover where it might have pulled her to.

Taking a deep breath, Lucien said, too loudly, "Look at all these apples."

"Oh!" Elain exclaimed, only just taking note of the small mountain of slices between them, "Oh, yes."

"Come on," Lucien said, giving her a grin, clearly trying to put her at ease after that charged moment they had shared, "This is the best part."

It took him a moment, opening several cupboards, cursing under his breath when he caused a small avalanche of poorly stacked pots to come tumbling out of one, but he finally straightened up with a large mixing bowl held triumphantly in his hands.

He scooped all of the apple slices into it, then began raiding the spice rack. She lost track of all of the different things he tossed into the bowl. He gave it a final sniff, then nodded, satisfied.

"Alright, get stuck in," he said, nodding to her with a glint in his eyes.

She raised an eyebrow and he stuck his hands into the bowl with almost indecent enthusiasm, mixing the spices with the fruit slices.

Smiling, she stepped up shyly and put her hands into the bowl with him.

They stayed quiet as they mixed, but occasionally their eyes met, and, even more intensely, their hands.

Finally, Lucien deemed it ready, and they began lining the apple slices at the bottom of the pie tin. He showed her how to weave a traditional Autumn lattice on the top, and even how to make some leaf patterns from the leftover pastry.

While it baked, Elain soaked in the scents of it cooking. Lucien was right, it was so much better than it was originally. As it went on, she noted Lucien was starting to shift a little uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"What is it?" Elain asked, biting her lip, "Is my pastry not good enough to contain your magnificent Autumn apples?"

He glanced to her, mechanical eye whirring softly, and did not bite at her attempt at humour. He swallowed and said, "I don't think I should partake in this particular pie, Elain."

She frowned slightly, "Why not?" she asked, confused.

"It's, it's mainly a symbolic gesture, but I wouldn't want to take any chances. When, when a woman," she noted his use of the word 'woman' instead of 'female' with a jolt of pleased surprise, "Offers her mate food, and they accept, it generally seals their bond."

"Oh," Elain said, flushing as darkly as his hair.

"I'm not saying that if I eat this it will bind us togeher forever, with no choice, and no backing out but- To be honest with you, I have no idea what it will do, and I wouldn't want to take that risk."

"No," Elain said, perhaps a little too quickly, given the flash of quickly smothered pain in Lucien's face. "I mean, I'd like to take a little more time with things, if we could."

"We're immortal," Lucien said, with a small smile, "We can take all the time there is," he glanced at the large clock on the wall and added, "And speaking of time, I realise I'm almost late for my meeting with Azriel. He gets very grumpy when his guests aren't as punctual as he is."

"Azriel is always very punctual," Elain said, a little lamely, not quite sure what else to say.

"So I shall take my leave, lady," Lucien said, with another bow.

The formality felt...A little strange between them now, and she wasn't sure what she thought about that. She still didn't really know this man at all, and yet, what they had shared...

"Please tell me if you like the apples," he said, with a small smile.

"I will," she said, giving him a little curtsy in turn, "And please, give your mother my thanks."

"I will," he said, but there was a sadness in his eyes that told her he wasn't sure when he'd next get the chance to do that. If he ever did.

He turned to go, and she again found herself starting forwards, halting him once more, "Lucien," she said, and he glanced back towards her, "If, if you ever find yourself with any more fruits for baking. Or, or just the next time you're here, if you wanted to help me bake again I, I think I'd like that."

The smile Lucien gave her in answer was nothing short of a beam, something she had never seen from him before. It made him look younger, his eyes brighter, and softer.

He inclined his head to her in gratitude, then winnowed into nothing, leaving behind the faint scent of cinnamon and campfires, the perfect complement to their baking pie.

***

Thank you for the prompt! I hope you enjoyed!! (I got carried away and I'm SORRY).

[margarethelstone-2]

if I loved you less (i might talk about it more)

requested by one and only @nerdypanda3126. thanks so much!

Read on AO3!

"Taichi... You still like me, don't you?"

The young man in question raised his eyes from the book he'd been trying to read for the past quarter, and fixed them on Chihaya, confused. It wasn't just the question that surprised him, even though its content sure would have been enough to puzzle a better prepared soul.

The fact that Chihaya had barely spoken at all for most of their time together today was the main reason why he felt startled by her words now.

She really had been quiet for most of the day, even though they were spending it at his place, determined, as she herself had claimed, not to get in the way of his studies. Taichi had tried to make her realise that it wasn't what he wanted at all, that the very reason he'd invited her over was to get a break from all the reading and just relax a little. He'd explained over and over again that he needed her to be a distraction; tried – unsuccessfully – to get it into her head that she was actually doing him a favour. He knew how much of a workaholic he could be and so he specifically planned the visit as a means to enforce the necessary break he might not have taken otherwise.

He had told her all of that. And yet, she'd remained quiet.

All the way until now, that is.

And just what on earth was she going on about?

"What's with that question? You know the answer to that," he replied casually, almost dismissively, before going back to the textbook in his hand. He really had no idea what had gotten into her all of the sudden, but then again, he didn't care to delve on the subject. He knew she'd tell him anyway.

"I was just wondering," she answered, a trace of hurt ringing in her voice; Taichi needed to hold back the smile that sprang on his lips at the sight of her pout. "Is it so bad if I do?"

Taichi hummed in thought.

"Is that why you've been so quiet all day?" he asked right after. "You've been just busy considering my possible affection for you?"

"Stop with the mockery. I'm thinking of it seriously."

"Oh? And what conclusions did you come to?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I'd come to any."

He had no choice but to close the book and put it away after a statement he'd just heard. Not that he minded. Throwing it on the floor rather carelessly, he sat up straight in his corner of the couch and, resting his chin on his palm, he fixed his gaze on the girl seated by his desk on the other side of the room.

She really was being impossible today.

Well, he supposed that wasn't anything new. He'd known Chihaya long and well enough to not be fazed by the swings in her mood or the inane schemes she so often came up with. He had learnt to expect the unexpected, every day, every hour of his otherwise boring life, because that was obviously the only way to keep up with her. The one thing he had to keep doing if he still wanted to be a part of her life.

Because that was how Ayase Chihaya was.

Chihaya. His best friend. His fiercest karuta rival. The girl he'd been in love with since fourth grade of primary school and the girl who'd rejected him straightforwardly at the very beginning of their third year in Mizusawa High. The girl whom he'd thought he could never win over, on whom he'd given up again and again, fooling himself he could move on and blight the love he'd had for her since he'd been a ten year old squirt.

He sighed and shook his head, remembering her question from a moment before.

She knew damn well he was still head over heels for her.

She was his girlfriend, for sanity's sake.

"I can't believe you actually have asked, you know," he picked up with the same fake weariness he'd shown before, if only to cover his growing amusement. Seeing her very real anxiety made him assume a more solemn expression, as he asked, "Seriously, what brought this on? Are you mad about something?"

"I'm not mad," she disagreed instantly, and with good emphasis.

"Are you unhappy then? Did I do something to make you feel like that?"

Again, she denied. Now she just looked sad. "That's not it."

Wrong. She was flustered.

"Then what is it?" Taichi asked, as gently and warmly as he could. Not for the first time, he felt grateful for all the hard training his patience had received. It was obvious that Chihaya needed that from him now. "It's not like I could get over you like this, you of all people should be aware of that. You're the most important person in my life. The best companion I could think of. You know I get lonely and grumpy when I can't see you, and you know I still get absurdly jealous, even though I hate being so. And so I can't help but think there's something else I'm not doing right."

Taichi stopped there, waiting for her to, if not answer his question, then to contradict him in one way or another, at least. After all, he really was at a loss.

He thought he'd been doing a fairly good job as a boyfriend, when all was said and done. He'd already shared Chihaya's most important interest and it wasn't difficult to at least understand the new ones she'd found. He made sure to be there for her when she needed him, and tried his best to give her space when she needed that more. True, he'd had some trouble coming for help on his part, but even that was a thing of a past rather than present – certainly not something that could shock Chihaya into thinking like this.

He would think that the all-day-long date he'd come up with and seen through in celebration of their first anniversary as a couple last week was a good show of how much he still cared.

He wasn't perfect. Neither was she. But never in his life would he have thought that he'd failed to get his feelings across.

"Chihaya," he prompted once more, his voice audibly quieter. "Please tell me what it is. I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken."

She looked up from the floor she'd been glaring at for a while and met his gaze, a shadow of unease still clouding her big brown eyes. She opened her mouth to answer; she closed it instantly and looked away again, abashed. There was a hint of pink on her cheeks, and it only grew darker as the time passed, though whether it was because of embarrassment or something more alarming, Taichi couldn't tell yet.

"Chihaya–"

"It's because you never say it."

He supposed his eyes opened wider than ever, what's with the utter astonishment he felt growing inside him immediately. For a few moments, he could do nothing but stare, the craziness of the situation overwhelming enough to successfully prevent him from forming a sensible thought, and much less coming up with any kind of solution. One look at Chihaya was enough to sober him up, however.

She was distressed. She was insecure.

No matter how stupid he thought the reason to be, he could hardly allow the situation to last.

With a groan that was bound to startle her, he bent over and buried his face in his hands.

Only one thing he could do now.

"Come here," he said, his face still hidden behind one hand as he tore the other one away and beckoned her towards him. "No excuses. You'll talk later. Now just come here, please."

She did, albeit tentatively, as if afraid of the reaction he might show her. With his patience starting to run thin at last, Taichi didn't wait for her to cover the whole distance, instead reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist, only to pull her down on the couch right next to him.

And then he pulled her even closer, locking her in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm gonna do something to you," he mumbled into her hair, his voice a mixture of laughter and complaint. "You cruel, cruel, woman. Have you no heart? Here I am, mind reeling as I try to figure out what the hell I did wrong again and you say it's because I don't say I like you enough. As if you didn't already know you've got a firmer hold of my heart than I ever did. Tell me, am I really this bad at showing you that I care that you doubt it?"

It was Chihaya's turn to growl at him, though it surely – and fortunately – didn't stop her from burying her face even deeper into his chest and digging her fingers into the shirt on his back. Again, Taichi laughed at the display, but didn't loosen his grip one bit.

That silly, unbelievable, most beloved girl.

"This and that are different things," she muttered finally in response against his buttons, her stubborn indignation probably being the only reason why he could discern the words at all. "There are different kinds of love languages. We even talked about it, you know."

"Yes. And as far as I remember, we've already established that neither of us cared for this one. So your argument doesn't work."

Well, this was a lie, or at least, it wasn’t fully true. After all, he could never get tired of hearing her say those words, to him and him only. But he didn't need it that much, not when he already knew of so many other ways in which Chihaya expressed her love towards him. He'd always assumed it was the same for her, too.

Funnily enough, he still didn't think he was mistaken.

"I've had feelings for you for the past fourteen years, you dummy, I wouldn't change my mind just because you decided to return them," he threw in only half-jokingly, as if to make sure he got his point across before moving onto the next part. "So? Care to tell me what's the source of it all?"

He felt her tense against him for a split second, only to relax in the next moment with a long, weary sigh. He waited for her to make herself comfortable in his arms, shifting ever so slightly to make it easier for them both. And then he heard her speak.

"I met up with Kana-chan the other day," she admitted weakly. "Her and Desktomu. And I guess... They're always so sweet with one another, now more than ever. I suppose... It made me feel a little jealous. But most of all, it just made me think."

"And you decided that I'd fallen out of love with you, because I don't talk like Komano does?"

"I didn't decide anything, I told you already. I just wondered if maybe I was doing something wrong to deserve that treatment. Sorry for being so terribly scared of losing you again because of my own foolishness."

Words caught in his throat as Taichi tried to protest against this new development. That last addition Chihaya had made – and more importantly, the wounded, truly uncertain voice with which she'd spoken – would have been enough to melt his heart even if he had actually been angry with her. Right now, he had to hold back from grabbing her by the chin and kissing her senseless until all the idiotic ideas evaporated from her overworked mind.

The things she did to him without as much as trying.

You evil little imp.

"They're newly-weds. You can't use them for reference," he managed to stutter out at least, conveniently ignoring the hoarseness of his own voice and the emotion that hovered behind it. "Not to mention, those two are the opposite of us when it comes to talking about feelings openly. There's a reason they got together six years before we did. Just because something works for them doesn't mean it's the best course for us to take as well."

He smiled again and planted a kiss at the top of her hair, before adding, "I still can't believe you really doubted me, though."

She huffed and pulled away, although she still didn't move from her place on the couch. They were still close; close enough for Taichi to see the light reflecting in her eyes and the blush that hadn't left her cheeks, and to reach out and comb her tangled hair with his fingers. Another gesture so full of love, even though it was but a fraction of all that she made him feel.

"Well, since I never understood what had made you fall in love with me in the first place, it's only natural that I'd have this kind of doubts."

He chuckled and she smiled on her part, her obstinacy giving it to the desire to just be with him. It was another thing Taichi was able to read in her eyes – and, knowing the feeling well enough from his own experience, he had no trouble deciphering it.

Delayed, the first part of her sentence entered his brain.

What made me fall for you, I wonder?

He didn't know. It had been so long since he’d realised his feelings after all, and longer still since those feelings had been born. Even all those years earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been able to point out the reasons clearly, never mind finding the one spark that had started it – trying to do so now seemed downright impossible.

There were so many reasons, after all.

Maybe it was because she had never considered herself a possible love interest for anyone, first when she was too engrossed in karuta and later, when she thought she didn't deserve to be one. Maybe it was her hot-headedness and her drive, and how different she'd always been from him, and yet never failed to tell him how much she'd admired and envied those qualities of his that she lacked.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd always been with him, so close and so dear and yet so impossible to grasp.

Maybe it was because she'd loved him long before either of them dared believe that was the case.

Maybe...

"Maybe," he said out loud, though in fact not loud at all, his lips moving against her forehead as he leaned in to put a kiss there, too. "Maybe, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

Edging away, Taichi saw tears gathering in her eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb, his hand cupping the side of her jaw fittingly.

And then he kissed her properly.

Just like he had wanted to ever since he'd first seen her that day.