#and schedule myself a detox

[wheeboo]

Hahahahaha idk if you're doing well but I woke up and just got attacked

https://twitter.com/FALLIN4JUN/status/1684385338662461441?t=m_-eTRhnGxMySe2_gIdm_w&s=19

https://twitter.com/hoshy_main/status/1684435992571252738?t=m_-eTRhnGxMySe2_gIdm_w&s=19

See I'm not god's strongest soldier and rn I'm this close to jumping through the window BECAUSE NOT A SINGLE DAY IN THIS CARAT LAND IS HARMLESS FOR ME AODKNFNGNGNKGKGN

I CANT FUCKING DO THIS RN WE HAVE NOT HAD A DAY OF PEACE ANYTIME THIS DAMN MONTH WHAT THE FUCK

[eyesteeth]

give me a bite of yours and i'll give you a bite of mine!!

+ bonus

[adviceformefromme]

Personal health hacks that have completely changed my life in the last 9 months.

Absolute number one is removing carbs from my diet. I had THE WORST crashes and lethargy every single day after my morning oat meal, after my carb heavy lunch, and carb heavy dinner. Despite being vegan my body lacked nutrients and calories from under-eating being plant-based and carb-overloading. 

Introducing grass-fed meat and high quality eggs into my diet. Red meat gets such bad press in the media, but personally it has given me energy, strength and I feel much better eating this in moderation. 

Little exercise each day. Not killing myself with a hardcore workout and then not being able to move for rest of the week (which I was doing previously). I now do a little each day. 1.5 - 2mile run most days, and daily stretches and weights at home. Nothing crazy, but a little goes a long way and I find it much easier to be consistent doing smaller bouts on my own schedule daily. 

Hormone health, ensuring I am keeping my hormones balanced. I make watermelon juice daily with 1.5 heaped tablespoons of flaxseed. Alongside that. I take omega 3, DIM, Selenium, Iodine, Vitamin D +K2, Evening primrose oil for womens health. I eat foods that support healthy hormones, broccoli, carrots, sunflower seeds and removed the foods that cause imbalances (carbs, sugars).

Removing all stress from my life. Including moving overseas, deleting social media and keeping my circle small but wholesome. 

Quit drinking alcohol. Initially I thought I would have the occasional drink but I truly have no desire anymore. My life is significantly better for not drinking. My body never responded well to booze. 

Sleeping properly for 7-9 hrs per night. Meditating for 1 hour before bed usually puts me in a completely zen mode for relaxation. That means my phone is switched off, I use a lavender pillow spray and light candles to set the mood for a goodnight sleep. 

Zeolite detox for heavy metals (currently in the process). I have Zeolith Med powder each day with water to flush out any toxins. 

Learning about gut microbiome, and probiotics..in the process of obtaining kefir grains to make my own batch. Making sauerkraut on weekends and introducing a wider variety of foods into my diet. 

These are completely personal and I can honestly say I feel better than ever. I wish I had done the above years ago, especially the carbs! I got a continuous glucose monitor of Amazon to see how my body was responding to carbs before I completely cut them off and I recommend doing this if you want to know more about how your body is reacting to glucose. 

*this all took time and effort, but once I removed the distractions, the meaningless socialising, the boozing, the scrolling I’ve had time to invest in myself + my health

[being-addie]

Habits I've successfully developed since my first post🤍

If you've been here since the beginning, you'll know of my first and most popular post where I discuss developing certain habits to improve my life.

Here it is: https://www.tumblr.com/being-addie/714114582776610816/healthy-habits-im-developing-for-2023?source=share

So far, I've managed to do a lot and I'm so proud of myself. If you did some of them too, I'm really proud of you <3. It's difficult but we did it!

Here's what I managed to accomplish:

⭐Got my sleep schedule right: I FINALLY am sleeping 7-8 hours a night and it's so much better because I wake up at 5:30 am every morning and I'm more alert these days.

⭐Working out: Started going to the gym 5 days a week. I'm also looking into some hip-hop classes in the evenings.

⭐Water: I've tried drinking more water, and it's certainly working. I'm not perfect, but we're getting there!

⭐Digital detoxing: I did it. I successfully deleted social media and I'm so freaking proud of myself. It's 100% not easy and while I do get the occasional bursts of jealousy and FOMO, I'm getting better <3

⭐Creative work: I've started to learn how to crochet, and I'm planning on starting knitting soon. I also want to begin making my own jewellery (possibly try my hand at making clothes as well)

⭐Portfolio: I've begun work on my portfolio and I'm really excited with all the ideas I'm getting.

⭐Clean room: My room is so much cleaner now that I'm tidying up on a regular basis.

⭐Friendships: Currently in a really great place with two separate friend groups who value me, and I'm really grateful to past me for cutting out people I thought were my "friends".

Of course, I'm not perfect, I will be struggling with some things. I did particularly have problems with some of these:

💛My to-do list: More often than not, my to-do list lies incomplete because I just don't want to do it lol. Discipline is key, and I'm working on it.

💛Food: I've had to go out so much, and I've been consuming less-than-ideal healthy food. It's been difficult because I'm out so many hours due to classes that I literally need to buy those sugary protein bars to eat. 10 hours a day of nonstop commuting, sitting for 2-hour classes is no joke. We've also had a ton of birthdays and outings so I'm trying not to give into temptation and buy a bag of chips on a whim.

💛Self-care: I was so busy, I burned out, oof. I overworked myself to the point of a mental breakdown, and I'm still so busy, I'm finding it difficult to set aside time to even do my Everything Shower. I'm going to try and cut my day into manageable chunks so I can decompress.

Learning myself over the last few months has been interesting, to say the least. Paying attention to your mind and body's cues allows you to be more aware of what you're doing and WHY. Here's your sign to start implementing habits you've been sleeping on.

Don't wait, just start. xoxo

<3

[princetofbone]

i know that as a dark academia/studyblr blog it is SO WEIRD that I am super anti-caffeine, but it makes me into a walking nightmare, so I try my best to avoid it unless I know the coffee at a café is really good or it's a tea I love. anyways here is how I survived school + a twenty seven hour per week extra curricular with no caffeine:

I sleep a lot. I go to bed around 7:30/8 if I can, and wake around 5/5:30. that's nine hours, and I typically take about an hour worth of naps through the day. even getting the recommended 7-9 hours will help with reduction (note to any grad students/med students/phds, this may not be possible, and I am deeply sorry because being well rested is the best feeling ever)

I manage to get that much sleep because I am a beast when it comes to organizing my schedule- i spend very little time on my phone, and I spend any "gap time" in my schedule (those random bits of time where you have nothing to do) doing my homework/studying. I also block out two hours after school to do work, and I typically get it all done then. (I have two hours at school where I don't have class, and I do work then as well)

having fun tasty caffeine free drinks makes life good- you can still drink good tea even if it's low caffeine/decaf (I have not yet had good decaf coffee). there are all sorts of fun bubbly waters, or you can cut up fruit and make drinks- i was gifted a book of zero proof cocktails that i sometimes make for myself- or I just pour pomegranate juice into a wine glass and drink that. Fun drinks for the win.

i am a freak of nature, but i stay awake better without caffeine- with the caveat that if i've been drinking caffeine I don't. so before anyone gets grumpy about not being able to stay awake- detox for like a week (those caffeine withdrawals suck ass) and see if you can make it happen

It works for me- I've saved like $150 a month on coffee, which i now use to buy fancy socks and other exciting things that make me happy late at night when i'm staying awake doing hw. my methods wont work for everyone, but if you wanted to change things up, you might try it

[angelicgrlglowup]

💗15 day detox💗

|inspired by @spiritualitgalmo

New Year Preparation | 2023 start up

Mission

Self care

No social media

Plan content for the first month of 2023

Create a business plan

80/20 eating rule

Discipline

Do things that will help my health

Consistent sleep schedule

Practice my spirituality more

Use the law of assumption ✨

Key affirmations

I am safe

My higher self and I are connected

I am glowing

I am my best self

I have an easy disciplined routine

I always look out for myself

I am healthy

My charaks are aligned

I am always learning new things

Objectives

No scrolling on tiktok, Instagram, or tumblr

Be one a strict daily regimen

Make content for next month

Reading goal(2 books before the end of the detox)

Research all things I have written down in journal

Meditate 2x a day

Workout 3x a week

Create my 23 vision board

10k steps

YouTube content creation

Shower work every day for 15 days

Read more books on spirituality to learn more

Grounding every Friday or Saturday

Routine

Wake up at 8:00-8:30 to get my day started

Before my feet touch the floor show gratitude for waking up

10 minute yoga flow

15-20 min Pilates session

5-10 meditation

Shower meditation

Affirmations in Mirrior and shower put on robe

Make tea. Vitamins. Make breakfast

Make some content for my social media and my business

Lunch time ~ 12:30-1:00 (eat a light lunch

Adding to my business plan

Workout by 6

Scripting

Affirmations

Shower

Eat dinner before 8

Read and drink some tea to wind down

Yoga session

10min meditation

Stats to sleep 😴

Sleep by 10:00

New things to try

New vitamins

New food recipe

A new way to manifest

Etc

[stuckinapril]

Quiet weekend plans: hair masks bc my curly hair needs some love, extensive skincare, study study study, crunching flash cards on the treadmill, bubble baths w the lavender-scented products one of my best friends got me, gf veggie wraps bc I have been OBSESSED, digital detox, so. much. water. a day, treating myself to an ulta shopping spree if my study schedule goes according to plan :) 🤍🌷

[siomae]

lessons learned ☕ winter 2024

i have completed the winter quarter!! yay!! i want to reflect on some lessons that i learned during the winter quarter.

🍞 do!! not!! procrastinate!! — i say this to myself every quarter, but this time, i am properly addressing it so that i can avoid procrastination in the next quarter. i had a bad habit of putting my assignments off at the last minute, or turn them in late if late work is accepted. i used to be impressed by my ability to finish a written assignment 30 minutes before the due time, but now i realize that the rush is just not worth it! i want to create work with quality that i can be proud of. better time management and self-discipline will make my next quarter much less stressful.

🍞learn to adapt — different subjects require different methods of learning. what works for one subject, does not always work for others. don't waste time "studying" if your study methods are not actually effective!! figure out which strategies result in better outcomes and focus on that.

🍞communicate with professors — this is especially important if i am taking online classes. one of my main struggles since starting college was not connecting with my professors. the lack of communication makes it so much more difficult to eventually reach out when i need help. go to office hours!! they have it available for students for a reason. advocate for yourself!!

🍞take advantage of resources provided by your school — my school offers free tutoring for students. i haven't visited the tutoring center because i wasn't sure how to ask for help. but i expect that i will need a lot of help next quarter to keep up with the learning material. i will make use of the tutoring services next quarter!

🍞remove distractions — i did a phone detox for a weekend and found that it was the most productive i have been in a long time! i will make an effort to be more conscious of my phone usage. having the discipline to actually turn off my phone and put it in a different room to avoid the temptation of checking my notifications.

🍞sleep! — i'm guilty of revenge bedtime procrastination! sacrificing my sleep for leisure time is not worth the tiredness i feel the next day. again, better time management will lead to more healthy habits.

🍞make time for friends — i learned that i shouldn't isolate myself for too long. studying can get lonely, especially during exam season when i get caught up in studying for long periods. i will try to schedule some time to socialize! it doesn't have to be a long schedule: it can be a quick coffee or lunch for good measure. having some positive interactions helps get me through the stress of school!

i'll be working harder next quarter to make sure that i don't continue having these issues! good luck to everyone taking finals!! 💌

[australet789]

Btw sorry for all the spam about Hazbin Hotel

Last year i got obsessed with a show but it was super unhealthy to the point i fucked up my sleep schedule and i had anxiety attacks. I ended up looking at every little source for a spoiler, because the actors would love to do that and for some fucking reason, i got into the spotlight by several of them.

And i knew. I knew they were using me. Every single part of the fandom on twitter had eyes on my little account (that i made to look for MEMES) because i "predicted" almost every single twist of one of the main plotlines. It was absurd.

But i enjoyed it. Not guessing the plot, but being able to analize something and feel I was being "rewarded" when i didnt even get a thank you just a fucking like.

Until it all came to crash in December. Until i finally noticed i was just their toy, for their good PR, because i kept the hashtag trending.

I was their Angel Dust

For these past few months i have been detoxicating myself from that show. Coming back here. Giving them subtly "fuck yous" and even direct ones. Enjoying Hazbin. I dont want the chains anymore. I just want to have fun and not having to keep the fucking act that im somehow okay because IM FUCKING NOT.

I dont want them to feel they have control over me.

So like, if im annoying with Hazbin for a while, forgive me. I'm trying to find myself between all the trash i poured over me.

And maybe, i will finally start to heal

[classyblen]

Helloww!

💋 𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚜! 💋

✨ Welcome to my brand-new blog! My name is Classy, and I’m on an exciting self-growth journey, ready to become the best version of myself! ❤️

I believe that sharing my experiences and holding myself accountable is the key to flourishing, so I’m here to inspire, uplift, and empower you along the way! If you’re down for some realness and growth, let’s be besties on this beautiful adventure! 🌟✨

✨ Goals for Self-Improvement ✨

❤️ MENTAL HEALTH:

Goal: Reduce reliance on pornography (including smut books, comics, videos, even porno music) ⛔

Action Step: Identify triggers and create a plan to avoid them.

Use apps like StayFocusd or Cold Turkey to block access.

Daily Affirmations ✨: Start each day with positive affirmations to boost self-esteem and redirect your focus.

💪 PHYSICAL HEALTH:

Workout Routine:

Goal: Exercise 5 times a week.

Action Step: Choose specific workouts 🏋️‍♀️.

Tip: Mix it up with fun classes like Zumba or yoga to keep it exciting!

Skincare Routine:

Goal: Follow a morning and night routine.

Morning: Cleanser + moisturizer + sunscreen ☀️.

Night: Cleanser + moisturizer + acne treatments + 5-minute self-massage for relaxation. 🧖‍♀️

🙏 Daily Prayer & Bible Reading:

Goal: 10-15 minutes of prayer in the morning and reading the Bible before bed.

Action Step: Use Bible apps and set an alarm/reminder.

Reflection Journal: After reading, jot down thoughts or verses that stood out to you.

📚 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT:

Reading Books:

Goal: Read at least 2 books per month—1 for me and another for our future book club. 📖

Action Step: Keep a list of books I want to read and start a book club!

Monthly Theme: Each month, focus on a theme such as “self-care”, “growth mindset”, or “creativity”.

🌼 Daily Routine 🌼

Morning Routine 🎀

4:30 AM - Wake up

4:35 AM - Make bed

4:40 AM - Pray

5:00 AM - Workout

5:50 AM - Shower/skincare

6:30 AM - Read a few chapters of the current book

7:00 AM - Simple + healthy breakfast 🍳

DAYTIME (Post-graduation vibes 🌟):

Focus on school, work, or personal projects.

Explore a hobby or learn a new skill! 🎨

6:00 PM - Dinner + family time 🍽️

7:00 PM - YouTube + tea (me time) ☕

8:00 PM - Read or journal (here on Tumblr!)

9:00 PM - Bedtime 🌙

🌹 Tracking Addiction 🌹

Identify Triggers: List specific situations or feelings that lead to urges.

Accountability Partner: Share this goal with a trusted friend who can check in weekly 📞.

Alternative Activities: When urges arise, have a list of alternatives ready (like walking or reading the Bible).

Reflect Weekly: Journal about successes and setbacks related to these goals each week.

💪 Physical & Mental Wellness ❤️

Weekly Workout Plan:

Mon-Fri: Shoulder stretch (10 min) + arm fat workout (10 min) + Daisy Keech ab workout (10 min).

Sat-Sun: Light stretches 🧘‍♀️.

Weekly Skincare Plan:

Sun & Wed: Weekly mask + exfoliation.

Balanced Eating:

Aim for 3 meals a day plus healthy snacks. 🍎

Meal prep on weekends to save time!

Hydration Challenge: Aim to drink at least 8 glasses of water per day!

🌟 Community & Accountability ❤️

Find a Group: Join a local church group, Tumblr communities, or a study group for shared growth.

Weekly Check-ins: Schedule meet-ups with a friend for mutual encouragement on goals.

Social Media Detox: Plan regular breaks from social media to refocus your mind. 📵

Weekly Review Questions:

What went well?

What were the challenges?

How can I adjust my goals for the next week?

Gratitude List: Each week, write down three things you are grateful for! 🎀

✨ Final Thoughts ✨

✨ Remember, change is a gradual process. Celebrate the small victories, and be patient with yourself as you embark on this journey. Consistency and discipline are key, so keep the faith in yourself and your path. You’ve got this, Classy! ❤️✨

[loki-laufeychild]

Okay, I think I need to explain myself.

This post has suic!dal, self h&rming, and food thoughts. It also has overdose mentioning. If this triggers you or makes you feel uncomfortable, do NOT read this post.

Mobius and mine’s fight just overwhelmed me. And I relapsed. I’m sorry if I triggered anyone. I’m going to take a short internet detox. I’ll be back tomorrow.

//OOC

Some of the things I mentioned during the fight were real. I have a horrible sleep schedule, even though I sleep at a decent time, I always manage to wake up with nightmares or anxiety and usually unable to sleep the rest of the night. The rare moments when I get extremely bad nightmares, I wake up and can’t move. I’ve been having these problems for two years.

Also two years ago, I started having… thoughts. I would hate eating because my brother would call me fat 24/7, even though I knew I weighed normal for someone my age. I started to try and stop eating but my stomach would cramp hard and I would have to eat.

I started having thoughts about k!lling myself or h&rming myself when I was 11 or 12. I’m 14 now. My brother told me once that he wouldn’t care if I died. I strived to make my brother proud of me then, and I still do now, but what he said stuck to me. I was too scared to k!ll myself or h&rm myself, so I never did. Instead, I tightened my watch extra tight. I felt my wrist grow cold and my hand pale. I don’t do that anymore.

During my fight with Mobius, I may have vented a ton. I understand that made people uncomfortable, and I’m truly sorry for doing that. I won’t post anything too drastic. To be honest with you, I started bawling after the fight. It was honestly really emotionally draining for me. I’m gonna be taking a short internet detox, just to clear my mind and get back into the zone. I’ll be back tomorrow. I’m fine, I swear I am. I just need a break.

[hypergamiss]

Hi!

I was wondering how does one really focus on themselves? I've been trying but sometimes I feel like I get caught up on everything else when I just want to focus on my career, goals and myself. I also want to get better at discipline because I'm such a lazy person ☠️ I would appreciate any help, thank you.

Choose your hard.

Living a life that you are not happy with is very hard.

Staying disciplined in order to have a better life is also very hard.

The difference is that one is more rewarding than the other and either way no one is coming to save you. You either respect yourself enough to continuously have good habits or you don’t. I often recommend people who struggle with discipline to do a dopamine detox for a few months. Go ghost with no social media/tv and learn how to fill up your schedule by stacking good habits. It sounds simple but it’s life changing.

[writercole]

Little White Lines (2)

Summary: It’s a long road to okay. Squares: Recovery @thebo3bingo Words: 2314 Warnings: drug use, addiction, angst, withdrawal, NA meetings Credits: @therebeccaw for the beta and hype. A/N: I have never dealt with addiction myself but I hope that I’m not getting it all wrong or offending anyone. 

I no longer do tag lists. Please follow @coleslibrary and make sure notifications are turned on.

Find Part 1 Here

This was rock bottom, Rhett just knew it. It started with a tremble in his hands. Then he got nauseous. There was nothing in his stomach but his body didn’t care, forcing him to his knees to expel bile and dry heave.

The sweat poured out of him, drenching the sheets and the mattress. His entire body shook violently, the bedframe rattling against the walls, and the nightstands vibrating like a stampede was running through the ground floor.

All Rhett could focus on was the pain, the aching muscles and throbbing joints, the nausea and dry mouth. On the rare occasion that the physical symptoms ebbed, shame and disgust took their place, bringing the nausea back to the forefront.

After nearly a week of detox, Rhett stood. He nearly vomited with the movement, even though he took each step with a deliberate slowness, holding on to the wall for support. After starting the shower, he looked in the mirror and was astonished by what he saw. His cheekbones poked out, his eyes were sunken. He looked ill. He couldn’t believe that he’d let himself get that bad and he suddenly understood why she had been concerned.

He stepped into the scalding water, taking his time to scrub every inch of his skin, trying to cleanse himself of the deep, personal hatred that he felt. His skin was red and raw before he gave up, resigning himself to feeling unclean.

He ambled down the staircase slowly, over a week since his last line, loathing who he’d become. He sank into a chair and rested his head in his hands. He had to get help.

Cecilia placed a plate with toast and juice in front of him taking a seat on his left. “It’s over then?” she asked quietly.

“What, exactly? My relationship? My career? My life?” he scoffed as he took a small bite of toast.

“Rhett, I know what that was, but son, I don’t understand why.”

Rhett’s stomach roiled and churned, attempting to both purge the solid food and get it digested for more energy. He wasn’t sure how to answer his mother, especially when he looked around and found that she’d cleaned up the house that he’d trashed, put everything back where it was, discarded the broken furniture and reframed the picture he’d tossed across the room, the one from their first date. 

Tears brimmed in his eyes as he thought of everything he’d ruined. Looking into his mother’s eyes, finding only love and concern, he broke. “Perry convinced me to try it before a ride,” he choked out, “one that my shoulder and neck were acting up. I felt like superman. And then I needed it more and when I ran out of money, my dealer cut me off.” Sobs wracked his frame as he hung his head, shame burning him from the inside out.

“I will deal with Perry later,” Cecilia growled, “but first, how do we fix you?”

“I don’t know but I need help, Momma.”

She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, stroking his hair and whispering that it would be okay, that she was there. “I’m not leaving you, Rhett. I’ll find meetings or rehab or something out of town. We’ll get you better. We’ll fix it all.”

Cecilia found a Narcotics Anonymous meeting two towns over. She dragged Rhett there twice a week, usually on days where Royal was preoccupied with something or wouldn’t need his son’s help fixing a fence or rounding up cattle. 

She would drop off Rhett and sit in the library next door, researching addiction and more ways she could help. She planned meals and scheduled Rhett to help with church projects. And, of course, she kept the woman who left updated.

She couldn’t say the texts from Cecilia were unwelcome but they hurt. He only got clean when he couldn’t afford it anymore. She hurt because she wasn’t there to help him. She hurt because she couldn’t be there to support him. She hurt because she gave up.

But mostly she hurt because she still loved him with all her being.

Yet she still ran. She drove for days, sleeping in her car, surviving on beef jerky and gas station coffee. She stopped when she reached Birmingham, pulling into a cheap roadside motel for a shower and a good night’s sleep.

This was far enough from Wabang. She could breathe here. She could start over.

Rhett attended NA meetings at the Methodist church two towns over twice a week for three months. They would share their stories, how they started, what drove them to quitting. He was honest about the things he’d taken, the need that pushed him to become someone he despised. He only cried when he talked about her, his angel, the woman he loved and drove away.

He got his chips for completing days and weeks and months. He sighed in relief as the guilt and shame ebbed away, leaving regret and hope in their place.

On the day he made four months sober, he was able to talk about her without pause, without a tear falling down his cheek, with a smile as he recounted the first time they met.

The group leader pulled him aside after the meeting. “Rhett, you’ve made some real progress. In case no one tells you, I am proud,” he said, clapping Rhett on the shoulder.

“Thanks,” Rhett blushed, ducking his head.

“It’s time for you to move on, though.”

Rhett looked up, his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed. “What?”

“It’s time for you to move on to the next steps. Make your amends. Find yourself again as a recovered addict. Move on, one day at a time,” the leader explained.

“One day at a time,” Rhett repeated, holding out his hand and receiving a bear hug instead.

“Where are you starting?” his group leader asked as he released Rhett.

“With someone I should have listened to long ago.”

It took Rhett days to get Cecilia to tell him where his girl had gone. He’d begged, pleaded, promised, swore, bribed, and cried before she let slip that the woman he loved landed in Alabama.

He raced to his room and grabbed a backpack, shoving clothes into it as Cecilia watched from the door.

“What are you going to do when you find her?” she asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Apologize. And then whatever she asks me to do,” he replied as he pushed past, grabbing his things from the bathroom.

“Are you coming back?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. “Either way, I owe everything to you, Ma. I probably wouldn’t have made it this far without you.”

With tears in her eyes, Cecilia wrapped her arms around her son, hugging him tightly, just in case. She released him and grasped his hands, a watery smile on her face before she turned and walked away.

Rhett felt something in his hand and looked down, shock filling his face as a warmth spread through his chest. “I can’t take your wedding rings,” he protested as he followed her down the hall.

“You can and you will,” she insisted from the stairwell. “If she accepts your apology, you’ll know when. If she doesn’t, well, I reckon it’ll be back on my finger.”

Rhett drove down I-65, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel to the sound of his balding tires on the asphalt. He was only a couple of hours from Birmingham and his nerves were beginning to fray.

It had been six months since she left. Neither of them reached out, their reasons vastly different. He couldn’t handle the shame; she couldn’t handle the hurt.

She had been on edge for days, ever since Cecilia had called. All of their communication had been text messages so when the name appeared, she feared the worst.

But it was a heads up that Rhett was on his way. He was coming to find her.

Rhett had been on the road for two days. From Wabang to Birmingham was twenty-six hours. Rhett stopped for gas often, cursing every time the needle closed in on empty. He napped at truck stops, drank sludge pretending to be coffee, and ate more fast food than he ever had before.

He was tired, he was wired, he was sick of being on the road.

He was nervous, he was hopeful, he was terrified she’d moved on.

He turned into the driveway of the tiny cottage and shut off the truck, sitting in the cab and staring at the figure pacing in the window, the curtains obscuring all but her silhouette.

“You drove twenty-six hours to be here,” he told himself, “get out of the damned truck and do what you need to do.”

With a shaking hand, he pulled his keys from the ignition and stepped out of the truck. He watched as the figure in the window stopped.

Rhett moved up the flower-lined walkway, his legs stiff and weak from the hours on the road. He took a deep breath before knocking, his stomach cutting flips while he waited.

The door opened and she appeared, his angel, bathed in light from behind.

“Rhett,” she breathed out, her face neutral.

“Hi,” he said. His palms were sweating as he stood there, the speech he had rehearsed the entire drive gone from his head. “Um, I shouldn’t have come so late,” he rushed out, “I can come back later, I mean another day, I mean -”

“Rhett, come inside.”

He stepped over the threshold tentatively, his eyes taking in the small, cozy space that she had made feel like her, like home.

She stepped around him into the living room, curling up in an armchair next to an overflowing bookshelf.

Rhett took a seat across from her, the coffee table between them feeling like the Grand Canyon. He didn’t know how to start apologizing for everything; he didn’t know how to apologize for driving her away. Insead, he rested his elbows on his knees, his focus on the water rings and coffee stains on the piece of furniture before him.

“You’ve lost weight,” she commented, starting the conversation they needed to have.

Rhett cleared his throat and nodded, unable to meet her eyes. “Yeah, apparently that’s a side effect of being a damned fool for too long,” he replied. 

A bitterness had settled in his mouth, a nagging in his mind. He stood without warning, shoving his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t have come,” he mumbled.

“But you’re here,” she soothed, standing slowly and reaching across the space between them. “You’re here. The man I love is here.”

It took Rhett a moment to process her statement, to realize the words she used were present tense. His head snapped up, eyes meeting her soft gaze. “You still…after everything I did, still?”

“You don’t fall out of love just because you leave,” she told him gently as she guided him to sit on the couch. “I knew the man I’d fallen for was still in there. And I’m not saying that I didn’t try to get over you. I even went on a couple of dates but something always felt…wrong.”

“You still love me after I fucked everything up so badly?” His voice was barely above a whisper, a lump pressing in his throat. His eyes stung with forming tears, her face, her beautiful face, becoming blurry.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I treated you so bad, I didn’t listen to you when all you wanted was to help me. I pushed you away.”

“Rhett, that wasn’t you,” she cooed, her hand rubbing soothingly up and down his back.

“It was. On some level, it was,” he countered. “The drugs didn’t really change me. I’ve always been that same horrible person deep inside. Just never to you.”

She was stunned at his confession. But she didn’t believe a word of it. “Rhett, I have seen you on your worst days and never, not one time, have you ever acted the way you did when you were high.”

“But -”

“No,” she interrupted, gripping his chin and turning it to face her. “You listen and you listen good, Rhett Abbott, because I am only going to say this once. The absolute piece of shit that you became on cocaine is not inside of you when you are sober. Whoever told you that is lying and manipulating you. And sure, it may work to keep people off of the drugs for a while, but making someone hate themselves is not a long term solution.

“Now, I love you, and I accept your apology. And I’m willing to try again. But you will not put yourself down like that.”

Rhett stared at her, dumbfounded. She didn’t blame him; she wasn’t pissed. She was still willing to work it out with him.

“I’ll need your help,” he whispered.

Her palms cupped his stubble-covered cheeks and she rested her forehead against his. “You’ll have more help than you’ll know what to do with.”

“I might still push you away.”

“I’ll fight to stay.”

“I’ll try. For you, I’ll do anything.” Rhett dipped his hand in his pocket and pulled out the rings that had been weighing him down. “My momma sent me down here with these, said I’d know when to use them. Right now ain’t the time to be proposing but I reckon if you give me another chance, they can be a promise. That I’ll try every day to be the man you deserve. And when I finally am, well, then this little diamond will look beautiful on your hand.”

“Oh, Cecilia,” she sighed as she glanced down at Rhett’s hand. “She’s always so sure of everything.”

Rhett smiled for the first time since he left Wabang when his lips met hers. It was a moment that felt like coming home.

[1stthingsfirst]

On Rehab

I've seen a lot of posts that suggest folks may not know much about rehab, so I'm jumping in with my experience.

Disclaimer: This is from a US-perspective, and from a person who has helped loved ones research/enter rehab but who has not gone myself. I did a little research and it seems like the options are similar in Thailand.

There are multiple forms of rehab:

Rehab can be inpatient (aka residential treatment) where you live at the rehab center. Rehab can also be outpatient where you live at your home and visit the rehab center regularly for individual and group therapy. A lot of people do a short stint (from a few days to weeks) inpatient before switching to outpatient. I'm calling this mixed rehab.

Inpatient programs are considered the gold star for treatment. They have the lowest relapse rates after release, so they are an excellent option if you can afford them. They are especially recommended for people who need a medically-supervised detox and/or more intensive oversight/care and an externally-imposed schedule and rules.

We know Ray can afford it, but inpatient programs are generally extremely expensive so many people opt for outpatient/mixed care due to affordability. They are also great options for people who can't take time away from work or family.

The absolute best chances at recovery are if you participate in at least 90 days inpatient, followed by outpatient care and ongoing participation in support groups. The longer you stay in any form of treatment, the higher the recovery success rate.

All that's to say: We don't yet know what type of program Ray will choose and if he will be away from home for any period of time. Based on what we saw in episode 10, I think he visited a hospital-based program, which is more likely to be mixed or outpatient. Plus, we see him out and about quite a bit in the episode 11 preview, so it's unlikely that he's (at least initially) choosing an inpatient program.

No one asked, but FYI, Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous and other 12-step programs are not rehab because they do not offer comprehensive supports. They are support groups. Participation in AA/NA/other support groups during and/or after rehab decreases likelihood of relapse, but they're not the same as rehab.

[diamondintherioux]

5/4/24

2 months post op

What a mind fuck. 2 months post op. Tomorrow is my last day of physical therapy. I finally have my arm mobility restored! I even went back to Pilates the other day, I’m so sore but it’s a good sore. I have 3 more lymphatic drainage massages left then I’m done. TBH I don’t think they’ve really don’t anything for me post op. They’re important that first week to get the tumescent fluid out but if you are at your goal weight and barely swelled I don’t think it makes that big of difference. In the same breath I fit better into my faja than I did 2 weeks ago but I think that’s the vaser lipo working.

I have been lazy with my vitamins (what else is new?) it’s just I have too many. I start Invisalign on Tuesday so I’m hoping that’ll be the kick start to my 30 days no sugar. I just need a detox from it. Had ice cream today from a local place I used to be obsessed with and it just didn’t taste the same. It’s sad but I swear I don’t have those sugar cravings anymore. They used to be so intense that I would leave the house in the middle of the night to buy something sweet. Now I have a homemade chocolate covered banana slice and I’m good.

It’s so crazy looking at old photos and seeing how my natural body could never become my post surgical body. No amount of gym could give my body an hourglass figure. People get so mad that others can just pay for a perfect body lol

I need to call a medspa and start scheduling facial treatments. I need a chemical peel and a facial. Since I’m not longer spending money on physical therapy and massages I can focus on my face. I want to get spray tans as well but I can’t stand the transfer. What is the solution? I’m so pasty, specially my legs.

I stopped wearing shape wear under my faja and I feel soooooooo much better. I swear shape wear snatches you better than a faja. I don’t see myself spending $200+ on a faja ever again. Amazon has some really good ones if I need an extra unf underneath my body con dresses (yes that’s allllll I’m wearing this summer).

3 months post op I’ll be out of town. That’s when I’ll start wearing the faja for 12 hours. Probably only at night. I’ll be updating monthly from now on. I’m thinking about making a post about ab boards and foams for educational purposes.

[anabell34bon3s]

ate dinner, purged, feel disgusting

i have literally a week to lose 5 lbs i’m so disappointed in myself im keeping to a tight schedule

water water water and detox (debloat?) tea every morning/night, only drinking chicken broth for meals, i WILL lose this stubborn ass weight and get out of my head about it

i just want to be my LW again i got there once i can get there again