#and only took me about a year it seems | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tjerra14 · 2 years ago

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Boss has been taking some time off recently leaving me to run things and it is so funny how quickly I advanced from “oh, are you the intern?” to “when did you graduate?”, “doc” and “are you planning to stay and take over the practice?”

#it's noticeable #and only took me about a year it seems #tbf i feel much more confident in most things than in the beginning #and people talk #especially old ladies with granddaughters who want to become a vet someday #and whose cat you had to stitch back together so you've been seeing her and the cat and the granddaughter #a couple of times #personal

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fisheito · 4 months ago

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found a baby yaku amidst the Sketchbook-glitch-corruption wreckage..... wondering if he flipped skin tones between black and red and everything in between until he saw his to-be-grandparents (and started mimicking THEIR skin tone....... )

#thinking about yakumo having weird lil homunculus proportions or other such variations #what if he just always had massive hands compared to body size. yaoi hands from birth-transformation #he was so anti-snake that he looked at hands and said YES. THIS IS THE LEAST SNAKEY I CAN BE. I WILL GO 600% ON THIS FEATURE SPECIFICALLY #changing forms from entirely obsidian... or red in patches.... or striped... or other combinations...#because he only had murals to base his human form off of? at least at first?#were the murals in colour? shaded with gradients and lighting oh so conveniently?#then how was he to know what skin tone humans are supposed to have???#imagining the first few times he encountered his grandparents in his cave #maybe they only saw a shadow with eyes darting back into the darkness #just a really long black noodle with semisnake semihuman eyes (just a hint of sclera)#and every time they visited #yakumo observed more of their features #and took on something similar to their proportions...? or hair colour? or skin colour?#and maybe even when he's first adopted into the family and leaves the cave #he's still a vibrant pink and everyone thinks he somehow got sunburnt inside a cave or smth #but then he starts seeing all the other people in the village #including diff age groups and kids who are supposedly around his age #so he starts to slowly morph his body toward those characteristics #his skin gets beige-r. reshapes his eyes a bit.... grows a bit of nose.....lengthens his limbs a bit...#(the big humans seem to treat me the same as that speCIFIC group of smaller humans... so maybe i should use them as a Model)#like... how do you even age in a human body when you have no reference for how humans age?!??!#did yakumo stare at several children in the village and watch their growth year by year #and match his body to their changes just to fit in?#did nature just know what to do?? and he just naturally grew like a human without manual manipulation?#I DEMAND ANSWERS #nu carnival yakumo

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fiona-fififi · 1 month ago

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Since I'm digging myself a hole tonight, I kind of actively hate the "But I am ready for something, and I think maybe that something could be with you."

Like, my first instinct was that it was sweet and that Buck was taking back a little bit of agency there and asking for what he wanted.

But I don't know. In so many ways, it also actually feels like it feeds into a very unhealthy pattern for Buck.

I mean, I might just be projecting because I cannot imagine ever being so infatuated with someone that I'd be like "I want to try a relationship with you" after only knowing them for 30 seconds and being left on the curb after a failed first date, but I digress.

But just. I don't know. This feels like such a pattern for Buck. Have someone express interest, only to then be rejected (Abby, Taylor, Natalia, now Tommy) and then chase them that much harder.

Like, Buck. Darling. PLEASE. Your value is not defined by the people for whom you have to prove your worth.

And I don't even mean this as anything directly against these partners. But Buck gets so caught up in forcing a relationship that he speedruns things without actually giving anyone (including himself) any space to grow into it, and it just feels kind of devastating that that's still where he is with himself.

#this man has not worked through a single issue in his life #like baby please go back to therapy #what does it say about him that his healthiest relationship seems to have been with ali who was the most forgettable of all love interests?#also i know i'm not saying anything new here #but it just. makes me sad.#that he can't see that he needs to give himself space and grow into something meaningful #like. i don't know. i guess people do this #but as someone whose only meaningful relationship took something like a year to grow into #i just cannot imagine wanting something like a romantic connection with someone i'd barely just met #so buck's insistence on going the distance IMMEDIATELY with any potential romantic partner even after (sometimes multiple) rejection(s)#is. a lot.#but again i know i'm projecting #i just. don't get it.#and i feel for him because it's so clear how much he wants something meaningful but he just will not give himself the space to grow into it #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #just in case #this isn't actually meant to be anti but i feel like it would be read that way #911 discourse #random 911 thoughts

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sacchiri · 8 months ago

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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

#hellsing #alucard #kouta hirano #translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent #fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online #i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands #the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake #anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool #if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first #and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf #i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia #then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point #but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page #and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh #the hellsing brainrot runs deep #also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491 #except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo #the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002 #which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch #sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less #it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was #maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'

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morrigan-sims · 7 months ago

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Pirate Outfts

I was bored, so I started trying some different outfits on Zara... The last one might be my favorite, if only because I already used another swatch of the first one for Wolf, and I can't have them wearing the same thing... But I also love being able to see all her freckles in the 2nd one...

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 CAS #ts4 CAS #adventures in cas #my sims #cas #ts4 fantasy #ts4 pirates #sims 4 fantasy #sims 4 pirates #oc: Zara #(she's only about half mine but oh well. I came up with the idea for her and my DM took what I gave him and has been cooking with it.)#I'm so fucking nervous to see how her conversation with Rook is gonna go.#He's planning on surprising her which will be... interesting.#and we recently found out that she knew where he was for those two years and didn't do anything about it...#and the DM says she's been having her own problems in the meantime but she's not a captain anymore...#it's been 3 fucking years since Rook has seen her and she's still nearly a god in his eyes.#I've imagined a dozen ways the conversation could go and there's probably dozens more.#I just gotta wait A FEW MONTHS to find out. 😭😭😭😭😭#funny thing is I never decided on a surname for her I don't think.#seems like I ought to but I just never did. She's always been Zara to Rook and to me.#pirates

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marathedemonoverlord · 1 year ago

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So I think I'm over my Obey Me Phase or like at least over Nightbringer because it's Season was shit but just you know food for thought...

Aint it funny how MC is now completely isolated from other humans/their friends/family/pets?

Like my friend and I were talking about it and like imagine MC has HUMAN/MORTAL family and friends that they talk to every time they were separated from the brothers. Like whenever the Immortals really tries them or pushes them they can go to their human friends for like a palate cleanser and a clear head/remind themselves and ground them to the reality of their situation/support from NOT blind lemmings. Like sort of remind them that they're still human and not on the same playing field as immortal Demons/Angels/Sorcerers

But now in Nightbringer that's literally stripped from them; MC has NO ONE outside of the Brothers/Immortals they're literally FORCED to bond with their circle of dysfunctionals and its like now you are stuck in that toxic friend circle because literally your circle of support hasn't been born/exist yet. That's fucking horrific.

No wonder MC is far more clingy and annoying in Nightbringer than they are in OG; Every lesson is a chip away at their original personality and sanity to replace it to the codependent creep MC is now lol.

#obey me nightbringer #obey me #obey me MC #obey me nightbringer MC #MC is so fucking annoying this is the only headcanon i can work with #No but like its so creepy because i always imagined MC balanced their human life and their Devildom life to stay rational but now #Well now with no circle of human/mortal supporters like their friends and family theyre literally forced to cling to the brothers #Its so terrifying about Nightbringer thats why Im still so upset we're stuck in the Past #Its shit like this that makes me unable to enjoy Time Travel Shit like I want to go for Boba with my friends but I cant do that #No i cant do that because I got a toxic friend group to babysit #No but like MC seems more stupid and clingy so my guess is theyre mentally unraveling to the point they just dont want to be alone #Like begging for validation and attention from anyone especially the immortals #Pray for MC theyre going into their codependent phase now #Don't worry; just like with real friends theyre not gonna break out of this for years until they get the courage #Which we all know MC doesnt have the balls to drop the brothers/Immortals like bad habits lol #Ima play with this headcanon until MC stops sucking or we go back to the future.#I miss MC's family and friends who have to live with the fact the immortals took them from them again

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jennifersbod · 2 days ago

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my psychiatrist should care that i’m getting 2 hours or less of sleep a night, right?

#i’m so frustrated and this is the worst week of the year for my ptsd #like that seems crazy to tell me to continue a medication that’s making my insomnia worse when it’s 2 hours a night #or less #like it started at 4 which he also didn’t care about which like eh #but now we’re at 2 or less and still no interest in treating that just giving me more medications that make it worse #and 0 to help that or the anxiety that’s also worsening from this #the only reason i got the ok to stop the medication (with 0 replacement or anything to help the rest of it) is because of the migraines #and even that took 30 min on the phone to convince them that i was having 24/7 migraines #it’s been MONTHS since i slept through a night #personal #medical stuff tw

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floorpancakes · 2 months ago

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heart-pounding immersive bocchi cinema solo trip experience 1-page report

#art jumpscare #bocchi #bocchi the rock!#ぼっち・ざ・ろっく #true story #my art #this is probably a little too illuminating about me LOL #the only reason the backpack didn’t match is because its an insanely powerful one #that can carry infinite amounts of stuff comfortably #i remembered thinking ‘woah…i don’t believe that 20 year guarantee but it’s kinda funny’#its been 18 so far #so often i sacrifice a totally matching bag for this rugged heavy duty bad boy #especially if I’m carrying around clothes or big containers of food #which I totally was #i actually googled it beforehand to check the length #but the results only showed ONE movie…#it took me googling for a second movie WHILE IT WAS PLAYING to notice #I saw the long runtime but it seemed short for two movies #and longer stated run times are often put down to make sure stuff runs smoothly #so I checked but didn’t think I was incorrect or anything mdknfdfkdf #they usually tell you VERY CLEARLY if it’s a double feature #usually double features actually cost waaaay more #and they have 15 minute breaks #so who knows what happened here #what matters is the pizza was delicious and it was a fun experience!#i may be as anxious as bocchi but i like doing things solo although id prefer it with friends most days #I haven’t seen my friends in a long time and some of them never #hopefully one day I can change that

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destructive-delight · 2 months ago

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if it turns out that i’m unfit to donate blood i will actually lose it for good.

#it’s stupid but after going through the initial stages of preparing to give a stem cell donation #hyping myself up for over 3 months only to be told that i was not needed after all #my already low sense of self-worth took a pretty dramatic hit earlier this year #if i can’t even donate regular ass blood i will truly achieve worthless-on-every-level-including-physical #a lot of the requirements for donating don’t apply to me because i lead the most boring life imaginable #but i’m barely above the required minimum weight #and the constant fatigue could be anemia or it could be something entirely else that disqualifies me #also no medical professional has ever pointed out my self harm scars #but this seems like a situation where it could come up #i haven’t done anything in a while in part to fulfill the no-open-wounds-in-however-many-weeks criteria #but even if it’s not a hard exclusion criteria i might just die of shame if they ask about it #god i’m so fucking nervous…#going to an unfamiliar place for the first time and only having a vague idea of the procedure is nerve-wracking enough

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storytellering · 14 days ago

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i know i only posted like. 2 pieces of red dead art so far. but what you don't know/understand is that i have a folder full of just random bullshit ive been frantically drawing on a daily basis for the past weeks + a bajillion more wips in store because i've been trying so damn hard to pace myself as well as still being cautiously anxious of alienating my followers