#and now my mom is sick
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I love all of those memes from 2020 like "it's 2023, covids over" because guess what hoes, it is 2023, and I am officially in isolation for the THIRD TIME IN 3 MONTHS because Yet Another of my family members has covid.
#i want to die#seriously somebody pLEASE send me to the seaside for my health#i cant do this anymore#the isolation is kinda fucking with my head tbh#like i dont do well in isolation normally!!!!#in september it was 2 full weeks bc my aunt and grandmother got it#in october it was 6 or 7 days bc of my brother#AND THEN my boyfriend got it at the end of october so i couldnt see him for another like 5-6 days#and now my mom is sick#and my mom is immunocompromised#so theres no way of guessing whether itll be mild and only like 7 days or (mercifully? please?) less#or if she'll take the same route as my aunt and grandmother and be positive for 10 whole days each🥲#whatever gods you pray to- if you would be so kind- please include me in your prayers#i could use some well wishes#also#i could use a hug#or a lobotomy#at this point#its truly either or#mine#personal#rant#tw vent#vent post#tw hopelessness#tw meltdown#tw mental illness#covid19#covid isn't over
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Cole is so associated with death it makes my head hurt that no one’s really done anything with it (especially the showrunners I think they forgot)
he was a fucking ghost for three whole seasons a fucking ghost I don’t even have any other way to elaborate on that because that should I feal like enough to back up my point and also his mom the previous master of earth is also a ghost bc she’s dead
his element is earth which you think would be associated with plants and life and shit but no. His main colour is black there are no ties with him and nature just what’s below the ground (mostly rocks) but yk what’s also below the ground, specially six feat bellow ground? Dead peaple and yk what peaple wear when they put those dead peaple in the ground black
#complaning with lili#ninjago#AND NOBADY HAS PUT ANY OF THAT SYMBOLISM INTO FAN DESINGS AND ITS MAKING ME SICK#This isn’t dissing anyone who hasn’t done anything with this in their Cole desings my brainrot is just going br br right now#Also his mom is named Lilly and I’m pretty sure those are funeral flowers#lego ninjago#ninjago fandom#cole ninjago#cole brookstone#ninjago cole#ninjago lilly#This guy isn’t even my favourite character i need to talk abt my actual blorbo more
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!
wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end
#yeah im too sleepy to revise this. UNFILTERED posting wooahh#some may b shocked but i do actually read thru most of my posts several times to make sure i didnt accidentally write mein kampfe 2#recently ive come to the realization that i am in fact not an incredibly chill person#and that the constant paranoia and fear in which i live my life is actually PROBABLY a symptom of severe anxiety#like damn. ive always known that im pretty prone to depression but ive preetty much always been aware of that#my mom is a chronic depressive so i know the symptoms i know the signs i have a pretty good arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms#UNFORTUNATELY mommy's mental health problems did not help her not abuse me as a child#so i ended up being a terribly anxious kid who was constantly being screamed at and told i was overreacting (because i was. because i had#a severe anxiety problem that was making me react irrationally.) to everything all the time#which is you know. it is VERY difficult to deal with a mental health problem when you arent aware you have a problem!#its incredible how much. better. my life has gotten since i figured this out and started actively trying to work out what triggers it#and being able to like. realize 'oookay. there is an Issue here and it needs to be overcome'#instead of just beating on myself constantly for not being able to do things without feeling sick or getting breathing problems!#anyways. trauma dumping in tags is over now!#house md#hilson#greg house#james wilson#stacy warner
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#fe fates#camilla#so i actually drew this a while ago but was gonna shade it and do more emoji things#but welp uh hmmmm im sick and apparently look like I'm dying#which isnt a problem until i sit down to draw and my vision is blurry and yeah thats a problem#so i just attempted to do a doodle and then failed and opted to apply a tiny but of shading to this and give up#but yup uh after a nice of body aches and misery and trying to sleep and failing#i crashed from 10am to 5pm thinking id just rest a lil bit#before anyone says oh you could have taken a day off you know - i technically can yes youre right#however my brain uses art as a coping mech and i need that coping mech really bad right now#which is why i stopped trying to draw something new for today and just went back to a past thing#im not overdoing it i promise#even if my mom and sister think i look like death walking around
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So i decided to just read parts of the book of Bill *at* my sister instead, and she said “did he… did he sleep with a triangle” at the karaoke part lol. She finally understands what I meant when I was explaining Billford and had to keep saying “just… just read the book” when she disagreed LOL
#gravity falls#book of bill#billford#I got sick of waiting#and she asked the ‘how do you think Bill flirts’#so I started listing things he says in the book and she said ‘did he actually say that?’#so then i just read the book at her#so now my sister AND my mom think he fucked the triangle lol#I’m not… I’m not going to tell my dad hrhhfhjg
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in my past life i was a dog who wishes you loved him like you once did
it spilled over into this life too
#like a dog with a bird at your door#moon song#phoebe bridgers#what if what if what if#dear mom#my heart is heavyyyyyyyy#i’m gonna be sick#idk anymore#it was all okay and then it hurt#please invent teleportation right the fuck now#i miss when the old you#urgh#i made these btw but the pics aren’t mine#ily pinterest
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Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???
dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"
#he was just a kid..... guys he was just a kid....#HE WAS SO SILLY#also the fact that after eva told him they used to call amalia princess gobball he just laughs at it ☠️#was he 12? i think he was in s1#why dont they ever celebrate characters bdays tho#thinking over it now there was little to no chill time for these guys#sure there was a good amount of non plot stuff to get to know the characters but like#idk? ummm like in the first ova they gave them some chill time and i wish they had done that more#s4 was an amalgamation of “FUCK NOT AGAIN JFC”#OH ACTUALLY#there was (1) episode with chill time and i loved it#despite having gone thru alot of effort to be like look!!! chibi and grougal!!! theyre bros!!! yugo spent like. 5 minutes of screentime#with them. like actually being their brother.#and like it was kinda funny because imagine like the world sorta blowing up a little and then ur child comes back just to say#'dad im rlly fucking upset. ive been to the house of the gods btw. and i met my mom.'#alibert mustve been so fkn confused hdhdbd#then again. its like. average shit for his son#alibert went from gay dad with his lil guy from a species he does not know of who basically works a farm inn to like#a literal demigod. he def has made some enemies#i remember the most abt yugo bec the hyperfix was strongest on him#current thoughts on the others in the brotherhood:#tristepin: yugos nickname did not translate well into en lmao. also my guy pls stop harrassing women?? he gets an arc ik but like. my guy.#yes specifically s1 them#amalia: i mean. she does in fact act like a spoiled 13 yr old. but like. girl they did u kinda dirty.#eva: they also did you kinda dirty. love that your the only one just sick of everyones logic defying shit.#ruel: yk what. no notes. that is the most realistic old man ive ever seen. hes hilarious#az: this mf gets his ass in trouble every five seconds. u can tell he grew up with yugo. also according to s4 he gets bitches so XD#wu's rewatch notes#thats what im calling this#wakfu
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had to start eating gluten free this week is there literally anything worse 😭 I feel like I’ve been sentenced to death
#the suffering does not end!!!!!#hopefully this is my mystery allergy :/#because boy it’s been almost a year now and I’m sick of breaking out into rashes!!!#my mom has celiac so I should’ve done this way sooner but I was being stubborn#but I got such a bad rash last week I had to try something
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chat ima blow up i think i need him
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#marvel rivals#snap chats#love sharing this after seeing the goofiest professor x mod for rivals BUT JVLKAEJEKLAVJAE CHAAT#if i look at this fast enough it just looks like he has the evolution hair and i can barely see the beard.......#the outfit itself makes me forgive whatever hairstyle is going on anyway... i fear i can overlook anything so long as the outfit is dramati#OK BUT THIS ANDD APPARENLTLY theres gonna be a classic wanda skin ...... OUGH#i prob wont get the wanda skin just cause i play her so little so ill just save for this one ... lol ... godbless i can do that in this gam#i think its going to be a while before this is out ?? shrug. all i know is thats ill have time to gather in-game currency just from playin😩#Double Highkey ill prob still use MoM the most but yk... when i wanna switch it up once a year ...#scrolled up and squinted again and UGH. i do love short hair mags sometimes I Know His Hairs Long For This Skin but let me have this#lke its the fact i can see his face for the most part without the beard. the beard he has is still a lil wack but its better ig#hm.. ive decided ill play rivals now bye#sorry i keep scrolling up and giggling and kicking my feet HE'S SO HANDSOME :(#i appreciate how low quality the pic is so its easy to overlook the beard ... means i can stare better...#ok bye ima go get shot <- in rivals !!!!#sorry scrolled up one more time. guards give this man a million kisses on the lips#ok bye fr now im forcing myself to leave im SICK
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girlies i am so NERVOUS for tomorrow
#my final cooking exam is TOMORROW and im cooking by MYSELF so im practicing a recipe right now but the issue is#IM SICK!!!!!!! I CAN'T TASTE WHAT IM COOKING!!!!!!! THIS IS SUCH BAD TIMING#IM RELYING ON MY MOM AND SISTER'S COMMENTS TO HEAR WHAT THEU THINK OF IT AND SO FAR THEU LIKE IT#MAN I HOPE ITLL BE OKAY. I CAN OMLY TASTE A LITTLE WIWIWIWIWW#IM JUST NERVOUS IN GENERAL TOO BECAUSE MY TEACHER IS HIGH STANDARD ON THIS OUGOGIGUGHH
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player appreciation week day 3: homeschool!!
okay so i know it was said in the last post that player doesnt get homework, but that was not what i meant to say haha. i wanted to say they didnt have homework that week, but usually their mom does give them (very little) homework. also player is bad at maths and hates triangles bc i hate triangles too and its MY comfort caharcter so i get to project my struggles onto them
#my art#art#digital art#finished art#fanart#carmen sandiego netflix#carmen sandiego player#carmen sandiego fanart#carmen sandeigo#carmen sandiego#carmen sandiego 2019#csplayerweek2024#cs player#player bouchard fanart#player bouchard#cs player fanart#also i know i keep changing their design but that bc i keep getting new ideas/hcs for them#one of my newest hcs is that they have absolutely shit eyesight bc of how much they stare at a screen all day#(its also why they have very glossy eyes) so now they have glasses :3 i gave them glasses that look like mine#bc i lowkey dont like my glasses so im giving player my glasses so i feel better about wearing them lol#also their shirt says 'gnawing at the bars of my enclosure ('bc i dont have enough enrichment' is on the back)'#and 'no im not crazy im just french' respectively lol. which reminds me i hc their mom to be quebecois so yeah theyre french to me#and yes devineaux is their uncle from their moms side you can fight me on this#anyway#enjoy the burnt food#<3#bored duck rambles#cannibals rambles#sick rambles
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not to e-beg again but i’m frighteningly Poor™️ at the moment and am having trouble affording groceries. the local food pantry i go to will be closed for the next week, which means that i’ll have to go shopping this week :’)
i’m still waiting on funds to come in from my school to help with my living expenses, and unfortunately traveling to the rez to visit family wasn’t as covered by my dad as i needed it to be.
long story short: i’m super broke at the moment and need to be able to get gas (i live in a semi-rural area—driving is unfortunately a necessity) and eat. my paycheck will be coming soon to cover my car payment, and rent for this month is taken care of for now— but in the meantime, we are in a really tight spot.
i’m hoping to raise like $100-150 to help cover this week’s groceries and gas. since we got a used printer for my partner’s birthday, i’m also willing to mail out signed prints of any of my artworks that you like with donations greater than $20 (you’ll just need to DM me a mailing address you’re comfortable with sharing. you can send it to my discord, gerardkeay, and delete the message if you’d like once i post it.)
if you made it to the end of the post, philamayaye 💖 you’re wonderful
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#misc: personal text#brother i am so sick of being poor. 6 years of this living alone shit it’s exhausting#and i like Cannot Ask My Parents for money right now since they did put themselves in a tight spot helping me get my flight to SD.#plus my mom is currently unemployed so it’s messy.#my in-laws have been helping with bills and stuff but we’re very hesitant to ask for help too much. and also everything is STUPIDLY#expensive at the moment.#shakes cries screams
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sorry to boohoo whine woe is me but girl i am so sick to death of being hungry. every DAY you have to eat sometimes multiple times a day. and while i know how lucky i am that i have the means to acquire food my options are 1. eat junk food 2. go out of my house and spend 1 million dollars at some fast food chain i'm probably supposed to boycotting 3. remain hungry. and i have to make this decision multiple times a day!!!!!
#personal#hurricane blogging lol#we were going to my brother's house for at least one hot meal a day#but he's out of town for work and he's also fucking sick of us#what's worse is that every time i do get access to hot food i eat as much as i can hoping that it will be longer before i get hungry again#and then overeating just makes me feel bad in a different direction#i'm gonna gain 20lbs and feel hungry the entire fucking time#anyway my mom had the bright idea to try hot dogs#the grill is too dirty to use and she hates cleaning it but we do have a little stove eye with it#so whwn they get back from some church concert theyre gonna go to the store and then drop by my aunts house so she can feed her cats#and THEN we will boil hot dogs. at least 2 hours from now. delicious.
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having a stressful time at work but i think it's very important to point out the other day i was asking a guy for help and he's like aight gotcha and then we go to this freezer room and he, from somewhere beyond a mound of boxes, just goes "you like anime right?"
sir this is the FIRST TIME we have spoken how did you clock that.
(he claims i had the vibes of someone who liked it then i was like oh like the woman in the deli wearing a jujutsu- and before i can finish the series name he says "no not her, she just liked the shirt. she's never watched anime". . . oh. i see. you have already had this debate with her then. okay.)
EDIT UPDATE:
So I got clocked AGAIN as a weeb by a coworker because I saw part of her outfit and was like "oh, Attack on Titan?" and while I then said I've never watched it she said that's fair then "do you know anything about vtubers?" and I just. Are you kidding me. I mean yeah but like. Why is your safe question with me "do you know about vtubers".
WHAT AURA DO I BRING TO A GROCERY STORE TO BE CALLED OUT LIKE THIS?
#moe talks a lot#not art#also im trying to swap from pick up to stocking and specifically dairy stocking#bc they seem to always have the hardest time keeping things stocked#and all of pick up has to stop them from working to ask for things in the back which keeps things from getting stocked#and this one guy made a terrible mistake of telling me#yeah we're like the unwanted ginger stepkids of the grocery store#because my brain immediately went NO IM ADOPTING THE DAIRY DEPARTMENT AS MY BELOVED GINGER KIDS#i told my mom that comment and she immediately laughed and said welp thats your department now#before i could even tell her i mentally adopted them#anyway gotta get to bed soon bc i do actually think i was a bit sick ? im so tired despite napping earlier#and only working a partial shift (five hours instead of eight)#sooooo gotta get rested up for the next three (or more!) days#since ive been cursed with no social life and will always work saturday and sunday#so even though my current schedule ends saturday and the next week schedule will be released At Some Point for sunday onward#i have yet to have a sunday off so i am most likely working sunday again#like the job itself is rough and i dont think the pick up workers like me much but every other department seems v nice and chill#i will continue to write essays in the tags no one can stop me
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I'm sick of DILFs. what about DILAM (dads I'd like to adopt me).
#yeah sure my relationship with my dad is tolerable at best since I moved out#but like#there are days where I seriously question why I still stay in contact#I mean I know why. I love literally everyone in my family except him and I'd lose them all if I cut contact. probably.#and he's not as bad anymore. but like. that's only because I don't see him on a daily basis. and he knows if he plays stupid games he'll wi#stupid prizes so nowadays he just Doesn't. and so he puts on the face he shows everyone else until im too disabled for him again.#what I would've given as a kid to have seen more of that side of him. the side he charms total strangers with. the side my mom fell in love#with. but now it just makes me sick.#vent post I guess#anyway who else here on rotomblr has daddy issues raise your hand I know you're there#pokeblogging#pkmn irl
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