#and my imagination and empathy is struggling

[rennybu]

AAAAUHG.. so many things come to mind so i will start with... i like to imagine he and Fenris are the same height :') (5'11"). This got a bit long but i'm always happy to talk about this guy!!!!!!!!! @trebuchet151

he's got a big garnet signet ring with the Amell family crest carved in it, and that's about the only recognizable thing that denotes his lineage... he has always liked stamping wax seals on letters with it!!! he's a ring guy generally, he likes mixing and matching stones and metal.

his hands are very scarred and rough from reckless casting, and especially casting fire magic without a staff (in a pinch).

He has a heart tattooed on his ring finger for Fenris :') their wedding was very. Andraste as the witness, on the road, impulsive. Vows for themselves, nothing legally binding. Fenris has a plain gold band on a red cord somewhere on his person at all times.

his testosterone is taken via oral tincture, some kind of oil solution he takes drops of daily. like a mild and highly personalized potion recipe! it's the only reason he sometimes needs a home base or shop to set up in, to prepare a big batch. He stores it in little glass vials he collects from trinket shops. Malcolm found the recipe for him after he came out in his tweens.

Bethany is kind of sainted in his mind, when he's exasperated or stunned he might utter an "oh Bethany" (in the tone of "are you seeing this shit") rather than an "oh Maker"

He struggles a lot with empathy, in that he frequently can logically recognize when he should feel for another person's situation, and yet finds himself unmoved. He will deliberately go out of his way to care for others, sometimes more than is needed, to try to make up for what he perceives as a personal flaw. This is how he ended up like a wrung out mouldy rag, emotionally, by the end of DA2.

His spell class is fucking terrifying, he has a lot of mana and not much hp, but is really reckless about his reserves. He combines force magic with fire magic, trapping foes and incinerating them, and sometimes leaving himself winded in the wake of too much magical exertion at once.

he's pretty spry and strong but doesn't have a great constitution. He tires out quickly in fights, hence trying to end them explosively and quickly.

Was briefly stalked by a sloth demon, perhaps around Act 2, and passed a very "get off my doorstep" homebrew harrowing as a result. Burnt it out of his shadow and got some spring back in his step, around roughly the same time he recognized his feelings for Fenris, settled into his role as Hawke within Kirkwall, etc. He Killed Dysphoria, Forever!!!

His love for Merrill makes him very "blood magic is okay", he loves her worldview and wisdom about its use, but his upbringing prevents him from extending that grace to himself. He was forced to use blood magic in his duel against the Arishok in order to survive it!!! Angst. Hates himself quite badly for this. Until Merrill is like "why are you special" and he's like ooohh. I get it

We all kno Hawke goes thru hell but I love reflecting on Orson's arc from early family life to Now/post-DA:I, he found closure among his friends and family and was able to fully remove himself from a public leadership role and is doing much better for it. He's a bit of an anarchist i guess, jack of all trades with a pretty rigid set of personal morals that sometimes forces him to act outside the law. He's very grey market, hard to contact, arrive in the nick of time.

He and Fenris do not ever shut up around each other. Two dudes who talk about fuck all, very intelligently. If you see Fenris in the wild, Orson is probably around, too. They love hunting Venatori and only sometimes get in the way of other spy/subterfuge activities.

he smells like BRITTLE sun-baked wood, with a hint of oily herbal medicine.

[20001541]

I'm interested to know your opinion about this https://www.tumblr.com/sad-outsider/745487303531692032/while-everyone-is-wondering-how-two-babies-could?source=share

it is an interesting question, how did AFO become such a skilled manipulator if he grew up feral on the streets? here's my thoughts:

so I don't think from the beginning AFO was all that interested in other humans. we're told that those who didn't give him anything he viewed with distrust and disdain, and the two times we see him coming across some people as a child it's just him killing them. maybe he watched them warily when they passed by, but ultimately he didn't engage with any of them to talk directly (as far as we know). BUT it's been pointed out by others that they had a radio with them as is shown with the circle below

well it does looks like a radio to me and it would make sense that was one of their connections to the outside world (though they wouldn't understand a lot of what was being talked about) and to me it makes sense if a radio was later how afo found out about what the glowing baby was up to. so he was at the very least a little interested in hearing what the others were doing, perhaps to analyze any potential threats and maybe he was a tiny bit curious deep down about the society that rejects them, but evidently AFO wasn't interested in trying to make direct contact with them or try to involve himself in their society and none of them bothered with him either.

that is until he read that one comic book. see the thing afo admired about the villain was how people feared and revered him and so he decided he wanted that for himself. after a lifetime of being ignored by people who passed by him on the street he wanted to become something they feared so they'll follow him and never have their eyes off him. and in order to become that he needed power. he already has an extremely powerful quirk, but he needs to obtain loyal followers to help him enact his will of becoming the ultimate evil who rules over everything. I'm sure AFO realized that in order to make his dream become a reality he was going to need to use other people and I think that's when he decided to begin studying the way other humans act to get a better sense in how to get them to do what he wants.

and I would say he did this by studying various media he came across at first. whether it's looking through books or magazines (remember twins were barely learning how to read when they were small and by the time afo declares his dream they look more like teenagers so I think afo was able to read better by this time), and later maybe he found tvs where he can watch shows that were airing and see the news. so through that he studied the culture, what is deemed acceptable and unacceptable, how to present himself in a way to get others to respect him. overall he would be far more interested in the world that he had no interest in before as he sees there are things he could take for himself there and get people to give him things. I also think after he's done going through media he would've stalked some people to see how they live and act, there are some things you can't learn through media so afo would want to learn more through observing those he comes across.

I like to headcanon that he would see one person passing him by on the street then stalk them for the whole day until they fell asleep. then the next day he would choose a different person who passes by him and stalks them for the rest of the day and does that until he feels like he's learned enough. then later on he would engage in small talk with people he sees to get a better feel of interacting with others and see what they respond well to and what they don't. the more he learns about the nature of people the more he learns how to use their emotions against them and predict their reactions to certain actions.

side note I would also like to point out that afo presents himself more masculine and wears business professional attire all the time. this is important to note because afo grew up without gender socialization, which tells me he saw how business men are typically seen by society as people to be respected and hardworking. so he chooses presents himself as someone who gives off the vibe that he's someone powerful and should be taken seriously by wearing the suit and tie. trying to manipulate people isn't just something you do with words, but also with the way you present yourself to others. you want to carefully craft an image of yourself that makes others view you as what you want them to view you as so you can gain their trust easier which is what I think afo did there.

I think once he feels confident enough though he would begin practicing his manipulation skills on others.

now look here:

afo intervenes with these group of people fighting in the streets and brings peace. I feel like he would do this often, bring order among the chaos he comes across and presents a choice. "if you feel powerless and scared then join me and I'll give you everything you want and more, or don't and remain as you are. all I really want to do is help you out :)"and many did choose to join! look at all those people around afo, those are probably all the people who chose to follow him.

I think afo would've seen how badly metas were treated by society and saw how desperate people were for order and someone to turn to. people can be manipulated more easily if they're scared and looking for anyone to help them, and afo would've seen this as a great way to begin building his empire by preying on the desperate. he crafted this image of himself that not only embodies power but also generosity. he took quirks away from the unworthy and gave them to those who wanted power. makes people think things like look how good he is to those who please him! he presented himself as a savior to the people, and manipulated them by taking advantage of their own vulnerability.

all he really had to do was lend a sympathetic ear and show them hey I was an outcast like you to appear relatable and demonstrate the power he had to those are were scared and felt like they couldn't protect themselves. they saw him as a personal savior who seemed to genuinely care about their plights. of course afo doesn't care about the plights of his fellow meta humans, he just wants to use them for his own purposes then tosses them out once he's done (as yoichi points out). but he seemed so genuine in his words that many fell for it which allowed him to manipulate them further. and so many became so entranced by him that they began to attack his enemies in his name without him ordering them to do so.

of course I don't think afo was always a successful manipulator in the beginning, maybe there was a social custom he overlooked and it made him look bad in someones eyes. maybe he said the wrong thing and it made someone distrust him more. there would be a lot of trial and error on his part when trying to learn to manipulate, but as he interacts with people more and learns from his past mistakes he would get much better until he becomes the excellent manipulator he is today.

and to me afo would have multiple personas he puts on when interacting with different people. two people could meet him but comes out with very different impressions about who he is as a person. he hides his true nature (which is said to feel unsettling to be around) so they would trust him more. I think he would enjoy this game really, stringing people along and making them feel he cares so they can give him what he wants. as I said before no one gave him anything as a child so he feels he has to take it for himself, and manipulation would be one of those tools he uses to get what he wants so he would take time to develop that skill through the things I've said before.

[feluka]

once again i'm happy to answer 9235642 insanely racist questions you have about our flag means fuck or about the arabic language or whatever if only you'd stop sending them to palestinian blogs. anons are still on

[msommers]

so the thing is that ellana/blackwall have in fact become my copium during the move from hell and actually they're v good together

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

50 Character Personality Traits + Meanings (For writers, worldbuilders, and artists) Part 1

Adventurous - Enjoys trying new experiences and exploring the unknown.

Ambitious - Driven to succeed and achieve their goals.

Analytical - Tends to think critically and examine things in-depth.

Artistic - Highly creative and expresses themselves through artistic mediums.

Assertive - Confident in expressing their thoughts and feelings.

Caring - Shows compassion and concern for the well-being of others.

Charismatic - Has a natural charm and appeal that draws people in.

Clever - Able to come up with creative solutions and make astute observations.

Compassionate - Displays empathy and a desire to help those in need.

Confident - Believes in their own abilities and is self-assured.

Conscientious - Reliable, responsible, and attentive to detail.

Curious - Eager to learn new things and explore the world around them.

Cynical - Tends to be skeptical and distrustful of others' motives.

Dependable - Can be counted on to follow through on their commitments.

Determined - Persistent in pursuing their goals and overcoming challenges.

Diplomatic - Skilled at navigating social situations and resolving conflicts.

Eccentric - Displays unconventional or unusual behaviors and interests.

Empathetic - Able to understand and share the feelings of others.

Ethical - Guided by a strong moral compass and a sense of right and wrong.

Extraverted - Enjoys being around people and draws energy from social interactions.

Flexible - Adaptable to changes and open to trying new approaches.

Forgiving - Willing to let go of past hurts and give people second chances.

Friendly - Approachable and enjoys building positive relationships with others.

Grounded - Practical, down-to-earth, and focused on the present.

Hardworking - Diligent and dedicated in their efforts to achieve their goals.

Honest - Values truthfulness and integrity in their words and actions.

Idealistic - Driven by a vision of how the world should be and a desire to make a difference.

Imaginative - Possesses a rich inner world and creative problem-solving abilities.

Independent - Prefers to think and act for themselves without relying on others.

Indecisive - Struggles with making decisions and often second-guesses themselves.

Introverted - Finds energy and fulfillment in solitary activities and introspection.

Jealous - Experiences feelings of resentment or insecurity towards others.

Kind - Gentle, considerate, and thoughtful in their treatment of others.

Leaders - Able to inspire and guide others towards a common goal.

Logical - Approaches problems and decisions through a rational, analytical lens.

Materialistic - Highly values the acquisition of possessions and wealth.

Organized - Maintains order and efficiency in their personal and professional life.

Perfectionistic - Strives for flawlessness and can be overly critical of themselves and others.

Pessimistic - Tends to focus on the negative aspects of situations and expect the worst.

Resilient - Able to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to changes.

Risk-taker - Willing to take chances and step outside of their comfort zone.

Sarcastic - Uses irony and witty remarks to convey their thoughts and feelings.

Sensitive - Deeply affected by the emotions and experiences of themselves and others.

Stubborn - Unwilling to change their mind or compromise on their beliefs and opinions.

Suspicious - Inclined to doubt the motives and intentions of others.

Thoughtful - Considerate of the impact their words and actions have on others.

Timid - Shy, reserved, and hesitant to take risks or assert themselves.

Trustworthy - Reliable, honest, and worthy of confidence.

Unpredictable - Displays an element of surprise and spontaneity in their behavior.

Witty - Possesses a quick, clever, and humorous way of expressing themselves.

Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!

[finalgirlmoment]

Noteworthy details about the first two PJOTV episodes (spoilers)

First of all, every single of them ATE DOWN. just wanted to throw that out there, i'm so so impressed with the cast, everyone was perfect and gorgeous and i'm completely sat for any and all future installments. A fine piece of media. Let's begin.

Percy's confusion and bewilderment finding out that he's a demigod. "You fell in love with God.... like, Jesus????" LMFAO but seriously his frustration in this moment, thinking there's something actually wrong with his brain, feeling lost and confused and hurt and BROKEN. the struggle in that moment is so relatable to people discovering they have some sort of mental illness or neurodivergence, especially when they weren't believed/listened to etc and i think walker played this part beautifully

GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TOGETHER. GROVER AND PERCY PLAYING MYTHOMAGIC TO TRAIN PERCY. I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING OFF ROOFTOPS THE IMPLICATIONS THAT THIS HAS???? ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING??????? IMAGINE SEASON 3 PERCY FINDS NICO AND THEY HAVE THIS IN COMMON???????????!?!?!?!?!? FEELING SEVERELY FRANTIC AND MASSIVELY UNWELL ABOUT THIS

luke's empathy towards Percy throughout-- his apologies for what happened to his mother at the bottom of Half Blood Hill, him telling P that he relates to the nightmares, the restlessness, the ADHD..... so fucking sick and fucking twisted, I will be sobbing at the ending, gorgeous job on both ends on making this relationship feel very warm and authentic and the trust starting to build. this will H U R T.

CLARISSE. she's so gorgeous and vindictive. Her beauty took me off guard initially, but she's such a spiteful little badass that I completely fell in love with her. I CANNOT WAIT to see more of her characterization, especially into season two. perfection.

Percy burning the blue jelly beans- the thing he'd miss most- out in the middle of the woods at night in a damn can, just to pray to his MOTHER. *sobbing intensifies* i couldn't ask for a more sweet, heartfelt, honest moment. the perfect addition. 10s across the board

Percy's ANGER. OH BOY this was one of my most favorite parts. I feel like we see Percy as a very happy-go-lucky kid altogether but I loved, LOVED to see his frustration and agitation from the very beginning. Everything is so confusing and foreign and all he knows is that 1. he's been betrayed or left behind by everyone he knows and 2. he's been ignored his whole life by his godly parent. His mission is to MAKE HIS DAD SEE PERCY, at ANY COST. Before he even knows who his dad is. He is entitled to feel ALL of this anger and hurt and resentment!!!!!!!

Annabeth calling Percy "sunshine". TOTAL CULTURAL RESET. I gasped. The dawn of a new age of Percabeth. I will be screaming into my pillow about this for the foreseeable future.

The entire characterization of Percy throughout the capture the flag scene. His contrast of being just a kid- flossing (lol), peeing the woods, petting a gecko, just vibing and hanging out VS. being thrown suddenly into attack from his peers that don't care about the rules, surprising himself and everyone around him with his finesse in battle, quick instincts, swordsmanship..... i'm weak fr. I can't wait to see him grow, train, become stronger and more confident.

Overall, I'm entirely floored and beyond happy. I can't wait to see more. 10/10

[sharkieboi]

i always say that i’m good with both parrots and children cause their venn diagram of behaviors is a circle, but the deeper reason i’m so good with birds is that my flavor of non-neurotypical is that I fundamentally Am a bird

[nottsangel]

artrick who end up blackmailing camgirl reader that they know and will tell all their frat bros if she doesn't let them join on a live hehehegehehehejdjd 🔮

— artrick and camgirl!reader

ugh i love dark stuff like this…. patrick and art would be so sneaky with it though, you wouldn’t even realise they’re basically blackmailing you. they’d be so sly and manipulative, each in their own way.

like imagine getting ready, with roughly an hour left before going live again as you were finishing your make-up, already clad in a red lingerie set— a viewer favourite. staring at yourself in the mirror, lost in thought, you clumsily dropped your lipstick when loud knocks resonated through your dorm room, making you flinch momentarily. fuck. you cursed at yourself, instantly knowing it was your two best friends on the other side of the door, as they were the only ones you hung out with but god, their timing couldn’t be worse.

and when you opened the door after quickly putting on a silk robe, the atmosphere immediately felt… different? both patrick and art eyed you with dark, intense eyes, in a way you’d never seen before, and it made you extremely nervous.

“uhm… what’s up? sorry, but i don’t have much time…”

“we know you don’t.” patrick began as they both casually walked into your dorm room as if it was their own. “what? what does— what does that mean?” you gulped. what if they…

“what patrick is trying to say, is that, uhm… we know about your… how do i say this… side hustle.” your eyes widened in an instant, heart pounding in your throat, making each breath a struggle. all the worst-case scenarios flashed through your mind, causing your breathing to quicken and your knees to weaken.

“oh… my god.” was all you could utter before both patrick and art rushed over to you when you began to panic, an expression of faux empathy on their faces. “hey, hey, it’s okay. it’s just us that know... for now.” patrick reassured you, muttering the last part under his breath as they both gently set you down on your bed, one on each side of you and both their hands resting on your bare thighs.

“how do you…”

“doesn’t matter how. what matters is that, others might see it, you know? like, our friends? i mean, you know how they are…” patrick moved his hand to your face, gently tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, meeting your glossy eyes as tears welled up. “yeah… we all share the same laptop and we might, you know, forget to delete the browser history and they all would see the stuff you do on there…” art added, his hand inching closer to your cunt, causing you to instinctively spread your legs slightly wider as you tried to control your fast breathing.

“bet they would jerk off while watching you like fucking creeps. hand wrapped around their cocks as they watch you undress… or worse… they might share it with everyone. and soon the entire school would know about the things you do late at night, all alone in your little dorm room.” at this point, panic overtakes you completely as your hands clutch the edge of the bed so tightly that your knuckles turn white and you firmly bite your lip to stifle your sobs.

“shhh, baby, don’t worry. you know we won’t let that happen, right? i mean, we got a plan… but you gotta calm down for us, okay?” art cooed as he rubbed his thumb over your cheek to calm you down and wipe your tears. meanwhile, outside your vision, patrick eyed you lustfully as he bit his lip, feeling his boner grow at the sight of your red lace bra peeking out from your robe. you sniffed, feeling yourself gradually calm down at his reassuring words before nodding, desperate to end this nightmare.

“so uhm… how about you let us join, hm? that way we’ll make sure it’ll never get leaked. i mean… if we’re also involved, we’ll work extra hard to make sure no one else gets to see it, you know?” patrick explains, squeezing your thigh as his eyes shift from yours down to your lips. “yeah, yeah, then it’ll be just as much of a risk for you as it is for us… what do you say, baby?”

and without thinking twice, you nod eagerly while hurriedly wiping your tears with the silk sleeves of your robe, feeling happy and grateful to have such caring best friends who always look out for you… <3

ੈ♡˳

[thebadboyfanclub]

I Don’t Think I Can Do This (Daemon x Reader)

Hey y’all so I know I was supposed to write another request but my job has cause my imagination to ran dry and this was certainly easier cause i wanted to write something that shows the burden that women carry and also that Daemon is a very grey character, I hope you guys like it

The story of (y/n) Eaglemore and Daemon Targaryen did not start as a love story, one would suppose that seems to be a common trait amongst the concept of arranged marriages, especially to a young maiden of an independent kingdom to the rogue prince Targaryen, their marriage was the establishment of Eaglemore joining their forces with the Targaryens, (y/n) was dressed in her traditional attire with her hair in an intricate style, she was breath of fresh air in the house of the dragons, a proud Eagle that was brave enough to fly with the dragons as the flag with the colors of red and black flew next to the black and red she assumed the similarities were bound as an omen for success.

That was quickly ripped out of her mind at the bedding ceremony that she endured, the prince was not brutal, yet she had hoped that he would forbid it, he was cold and only placed a kiss at the top of her head after it was done before he left her laying while the ones that observed it cleared the room, tears streamed down from embarrassment while the handmaidens helped her get up to assist her with her bath.

-

“Husband!”

She exclaimed excitedly before she skipped over to Daemon who was preoccupied with having a conversation with Viserys was much more important than turning his head to face her, alas the newlywed stood by his side and reached for his hand to get his attention, innocently she squeezed it only to be met with an annoyed expression as he gazed intensely at her.

“What?! (Y/n)! Did they not teach basic manners in your homeland?”

“I-I just, I wanted to give you this, I sewed it for you, it’s the dragon symbol with the eagle”

“Great, give it to the handmaidens, is that all?”

Suddenly she became hyper-aware of the pie of eyes around her, mostly men that had taken interest in the scene that unfolded in the gardens, she felt like a little girl scolded by her father, she bit her lower lip as her shoulders sunk in defeat, the glimpse in her eyes slowly disappearing like a light snuffed out.

“My apologies, I did not wish to interrupt you and the king, I hope you can forgive me, y-your grace”

“It is quite alright, my dear, for what it’s worth I found your creation a wonderful gift, do not pay attention to daemon he has never been good with gifts”

“If that means I have never been good with gifts that have no use then yes, I agree”

“I shall go, excuse me, your grace, husband”

She curtsied before she ran off, her chocolate-colored hair swinging left and right in her ponytail as her eyes looked down to hide the tears that she desperately held back, Daemon watched her and could sense the damage he had caused, sometimes he would catch himself staring at her with purity and interest, he had even smiled once when she struggled to find the right word in his language.

He should have stopped, he should have held his tongue when the evident quiver of her chin started to show when her eyes bounced in different directions as she wanted to gather her composure, but he didn’t, now Daemon stood as still as a grain of salt whilst she once again ran away from him covered in shame.

“She is your lady wife Daemon, must you be so hard on her?”

“A wife that was bestowed to me”

“She is also someone that was bestowed a spouse, yet she took it with grace and is grasping desperately to create the best out of the worst, as a man that prides himself on his intelligence your lady wife has surpassed you, at least in principle and empathy”

Daemon was stunned, as Viserys spoke in such kind words his words slashed through Daemon like the sharpest of knives, this was Daemon's second marriage, and it had become second nature to be rude and unattainable to his lady wife since the bronze bitch shared the same hatred as he did for her, now the cheerful lady with the deer like eyes and red puffy cheeks had been nothing but kind, a foreign pain in his chest started to make Daemon uneasy as she ran further and out of his line of sight.

“If I were you I would be very ashamed”

-

(Y/n) sat in front of the mirror as one of her handmaidens lit her candles and the other brushed (y/n)s hair to prepare her for bed, (y/n) stood as still as she could though her fingers intertwined with one another and twisted in odd ways.

“Could you leave me with Chiara, please? Thank you”

(Y/n) requested softly, the young handmaiden only curtsied before she walked out of (y/n)s chamber, whilst Chiara continued to brush her hair, they had grown into a bond that (y/n) felt comfort in, Chiara was sweet and honest, somewhat older, and had just given birth to her first child, she was the first handmaiden that she met when she got to the red keep.

“Do you love your lord husband?”

“I do, now”

“What do you mean?”

“I married him per my father's request, and he gave the biggest dowry, at first it was difficult, we had to figure out a way to communicate and after a while, I like to think that he grew to love me as much as I love him, though first, we respected one another, then love came gradually”

(Y/n) grew silent, her head hanging low before she bit her lip in defeat, she respected her lord husband? Did her lord husband respect her? After the incident on the morrow, it certainly didn’t feel like it.

(Y/n) had not noticed that Chiara had scrounged in front of her and placed her hands over (y/n)s, she only saw the tears that splashed over the handmaidens' skin.

“You won’t always feel like the outsider”

“I don’t think I can do this”

“You can, it is alright my dear”

One sob came after the other as (y/n)s body shook and Chiara lovingly wrapped her arms around the lady’s frame in such delicacy, it resembled a girl hugging her porcelain doll while she tried to not crack it, in its macabre nature you could identify a certain beauty, someone that had the strength to comfort a disheveled young lady as she navigated through womanhood and all its trials.

What had (y/n) nor Chiara had taken into account was that Prince Daemon had made his way to the half-cracked door, freezing in his sport once the whimpers of agony hit his ears, he peaked through the shadows only to be met with his lady wife letting tears stain her dress and hiccups shaking her hunching back as the handmaiden rubbed circles on her back.

“Prince Daemon is a fool for not acknowledging the precious stone that is you, may the gods bless him and open his eyes before he is taken from us”

Daemon had no reason to intervene, the poor lady was right, he was a fool, here she was, a beautiful and intelligent young royalty crying over his acts, he had always longed for home, for family, and now he kicked and toyed with it.

He should be the one comforting his lady wife, to gaze upon (y/n)s puffy and red face and do his best to calm her nerves, not to be the face of her pain, shamefully he scurried away without a word, mad at his reflection that stared back at him in such high horse, he had become everything he hated, a man that did not care about anyone but himself, stopping at nothing to prove he was right.

-

“Good morrow”

(Y/n) did not respond, she only raised her head and nodded at Daemon that had just entered the dining area, exhausted from crying the lady felt like a family of horses had run over her, getting barely a wink of sleep, evidently so by the veins under her eyes.

(Y/n)s silence was deafening to Daemon, however, he cleared his throat and took a sit next to his lady wife, waiting for a servant to pour him some wine.

“Orange juice? I believe we do not grow these over here”

“A gift from my mother, she said orange juice in the morning is a secret to a woman’s beauty”

“She must be the most astonishing lady back in your line”

“You met her, on our wedding feast, I believe you were too busy to pay attention, like always”

The last comment was barely above a whisper still sharp as a knife right on Daemon's abdomen, Daemon only turned his gaze at her, confused by her demeanor, it wasn’t uncalled for yet it took him by surprise, she always seemed to have the ability to hide her agony at least in public.

“Mayhaps we could go to her, I’m sure she will be more than happy if her daughter visited her”

“Not if my belly is flat, as much as she wanted me to be thin for most of my life she is now sending raven after raven to just check in with my monthly bleeds”

She informed him in a mumbling tone while her hand was rubbing circles on her temples, visibly annoyed over her mother's disregard for her well-being and hyper-focused on her womb.

Daemon was taken back by her comfortability to speak over her monthly visits, brushing it off easily though since they were husband and wife after all, those matters should concern him as well, the idea of a sweet little child running to (y/n)s arms brought him joy.

“It must be uneasy, being put in this position”

“Indeed and if I am being honest, my lord husband has not been making it any easier, with my empty womb nor his attitude”

“I understand you are cross with me”

“Can you blame me? You humiliated me”

Her tone switched from my king to a hiss, her eyes spewing fire as she stared back at him, it was the first time that she dared to show her true emotions, albeit Daemon could detect that it wasn’t just an act of anger but a sense of fear was laying behind those hues of hers.

He was correct, (y/n) feared for her future, the whispers of Daemon's visits to the street of silk, the adoration for his niece, his continuing ignorance over their wedlock, it all came crashing on her chest making it unable to breathe sometimes.

“I came to break my fast with you as a sign of goodwill, I want us to work on our relation-“

“Us? There is no us, you made sure of that my prince, you have crashed all my efforts and now you dare to speak of us”

“I cannot correct my past mistakes, I can only hope that you will allow me to work on our future, you did not deserve my coldness and for that, I sincerely apologize, I only wish for your good graces and for you to allow me to show you how I truly feel for you and our wedlock”

Silence, her eyes focused on his to scatter for one ounce of a lie, alas she was left with nothing, a sigh left her lips as she sunk to her chair defeated, why did the gods curse her with such a difficult match?

“I do not know if I can love you, I tried to desperately earn your affection for so long, I have grown tired of this”

“I know you have and I do not blame you, I beg you, my sweet (y/n), let me try”

His hand had found hers to hold, the warm flesh against hers grew goosebumps, a small beam of light found its way into her soul and a ghost of a smile appeared as (y/n) glimpsed upon their hands locked together, she gave him a subtle squeeze to see if this was a dream or reality.

“I suppose trying couldn’t hurt”

“Thank you, now you must eat, your mother might be right you have lost some weight”

“My efforts of getting accustomed to your foods have not been working”

“You do not have to, we can bring a cook from your homeland, my lady wife shall eat whatever her heart contents”

“There are some delicacies that I believe you would enjoy”

“I am not very picky with food so I will try anything you put in front of me”

Chatter was something (y/n) could easily do, however, even though Daemons spirits were high, (y/n) would steal glances of caution at him, was this another scheme? Or was he genuinely craving her presence and good graces?

“I was hoping you could come to meet Caraxes later”

“I do not know if that is the best idea”

“Nonsense, Caraxes is a part of me, therefore a part of you by law, soon our children will have their eggs on their cradle, if you are surrounded by dragons you need to get used to their presence”

Requests are open!

[siren-nate]

The AvA crew are masters of body language

It might seem obvious, given how emotional the stories are despite being told with characters that don't have facial expressions or dialogue, but I never realized just how incredible the body language is in these animations until a recent rewatch with a friend (@butchpeabody) who really pointed it out and emphasized it to me.

I want to talk about it a bit using what may be my favorite scene across the entire series, that being the scene of King in the void during the climax of Season 3.

Even after the point in the story where we learned his sympathetic backstory, King is a character that lives up to his crown by being a villain of imposing presence and even an appreciation for finery. But after the moment where he cracks and tries to save Purple in the middle of a full-blown PTSD attack, this is the very next scene we see of him. He's haggard, hunched over, walking listlessly with none of the intimidation or class we've gotten used to seeing from him. For an antagonist defined by his determination and refusal to stop or slow down for even a moment, this is already striking even before he finds the memory of his house.

It's an incredibly subtle thing that lasts less than a second, but I love how he has to duck his head down to fit under the doorway due to his crown. It's symbolic of something important: this place was once his home, but now that he's finally returning to it with his descent into obsessive villainy completed, it feels alien and uncomfortable. He's no longer the man that lived here as long as that crown sits on his head.

The first thing in this entire scene that gets some spark of emotion out of him and breaks his listless walk is the chalk appearing on the wall.

And when that vision continues, reminding him of how this alien world took his child away from him, he doesn't move. His lack of reaction IS a reaction; you can imagine the stony look on his face as he silently agrees with his past actions to destroy an entire universe just to get revenge for Gold.

But then that finally changes when he sees all of the living beings that the drawing of himself is hurting. His head raises in shock, and you can imagine his eyes widening as he has to grapple with his actions for the first time. The moment his empathy cracks through, that crown is completely off-screen, reminding us of the caring man smothered underneath it.

And then, Gold appears. It makes sense that seeing the child he lost enter the vision gets the biggest reaction out of him yet...

...and that reaction gets even bigger when he sees what "King" is doing to his child's memory.

For the first time since he started on his revenge quest, his composure shatters. He starts beating on the wall, desperate to make the vision stop, to undo all of the harm he's caused, to take back all of the mistakes he's made wielding his memory of his child like a cudgel. He only becomes ever more frantic and desperate when Gold turns into Purple, and it fully sinks in for him that he's become the evil force he imagined in his head just to have something to take revenge on. He never wanted to cause anybody the same pain he went through, but not only did he dehumanize all the residents of this universe in his mind, his endless rage has even started hurting people that come from the same dimension as him.

The imagery of King desperately beating on a wall with everything he has is absolutely vital to this episode; it shows up twice in his backstory, and for the third and final time here. The first time, it represents how he couldn't save Gold. The second time, it represents how pointless his mission to avenge them is.

But the third time is different.

Because the third time...

The wall finally breaks.

You can see him standing there in shock. He expected it to be just as indestructible as every other time, expected his struggle to be just as futile as always. Because that's always been King's fatal flaw: short-sightedness. An inability to consider "And then what?", or to look at what he's doing and ask himself if it's worth it, or to think of something better he could do.

But when he raises his head and looks, he finally gets it. Now, the wall is breakable - because he does have something better he can do with himself.

It takes a second for him to get over his shock and put it all together, but once he does, he's not walking anymore. He's running like his life depends on it.

Purple's screentime in this scene is much shorter, but it's no less impactful or brilliant in its execution. They raise their head as they hear footsteps, but just like King seeing a false vision meant to show him the truth, Purple doesn't see him running at them - they see Indigo.

They stand up, but it's just as slow as how King walked earlier. They don't care that Indigo is back, not really - they've moved on from how their parent abandoned them. But they still care enough to stand up to find out what the hell Indigo wants.

At first, Purple almost seems like they expect to be attacked and hurt again. In which case, it's extremely powerful that they don't move to defend themself...

...and even moreso that because of that split-second vulnerability, King is able to practically tackle-hug them unimpeded.

Again, purely through body language, you can see so clearly how Purple has absolutely no idea how to react. Being held so tightly by someone who cares about them so much is something they haven't experienced in years.

But just as King can let go of his painful past to make a better life in the present...

So can Purple.

[elfryona]

Guide to picking up a plural system, for singlets

We've all been there. You're chatting with a cute plural girl and wonder if you have a chance with all of them. Maybe you've found an easily manipulated caretaker. Maybe an endogenic maid stole your clockwork heart. Maybe you met a front-stuck Tsukihime introject. Either way, you've got no better choice than following a guide by someone entirely underqualified to write one.

Before you start

Before you head system-chasing, I need you to hold your horses. You can't just go after a plural girl the way you'd go after a singlet trans girl, faking desperation and empathy. You need to relate to a system, and there's a quick little exercise for that:

Imagine a girl in your head. What does she look like? Don't just think of the broad strokes, like her figure and hair colour. What do her palms feel like to the touch? What kind of socks is she wearing? Is her neck thin enough to wrap your hands around?

This may take a while. Don't worry too much. If you can't come up with a whole new girl, you can borrow a fictional girl you're familiar with, too! Just don't skip any steps.

When you're ready, think of her personality and her voice. What would her most defining traits be? What distinct mannerisms does she carry with her? Is she soft-spoken, loud, or something in-between?

Now give her a name and introduce her to herself. Tell her who she is, what kind of person she is, and let her know that she'll live with you in your head from now on.

How to start talking

You've just invited a girl into your noggin, and you might be wondering why I made you do that. Unfortunately, that's just beyond what a singlet would understand—trust the process, and everything will work out grand.

Before asking out a plural system, you have to practise talking to a headmate. Thankfully, you don't need to look for another system for that—after all, what if you embarrassed yourself in front of their entire community?

No, you're going to practise with the new girl in your head.

I want you to remember the feeling of presence you get when someone you like is in the same room as you. Now try to feel that presence from your new friend. Some find it easier if you materialise her in a place in your head—others would rather feel her presence on the outside, like a ghost or some kind of hat man.

Now talk to her about anything you want. Remember, you need to entertain a lot of headmates to date a system—handling one girl is the least you can do! Ideally you want to give her your full attention for 30 minutes to an hour every day, but in any case, involving her in your daily routines will help a lot too! After all, she might want to front someday. Don't worry about that, though.

Actually getting a system

By now, you might've been doing the previous step for two weeks, maybe even a month. You're probably growing fond of the new girl, and she has definitely replied at least once, even though she's still struggling with language.

Maybe you're feeling ready to ask that cute system out. I'm sorry, but you have to wait a little longer!

Around this point, you might start sensing new, pretty well-developed presences entering your mind. I want you to invite them in and let them stay. Your girl needs more friends, after all!

Maybe these new presences will start talking with the girl in your head. If that's the case, you've developed a self-sustaining system and don't need to put nearly as much effort as before. Or maybe they pick up the slack while your girl is asleep—then talk to them, too! This too will help you score with a system.

How to keep it going

Now you might be thinking: "What the hell? Where's my system? What did you do to me?"

If you're thinking that, I want you to look inside: how many people live in your head? It's at least two, but more likely something like four. You've picked up a system.

Now you'll want to work on letting your headmates take the front. Everyone has their own approach, but it usually involves two steps: letting go of your body, and letting your headmate in.

You can start small. Let go of one hand, and let your most independent headmate move it about. Let go of the whole arm. Continue in the style of a mindfulness session, until it's your whole body getting taken over.

Or if you have experience with dissociation, just let go of your whole body at once! Project yourself into the outside world or retreat into the headspace, while your headmate takes over. It might feel like you're blending with them a little, but that's to be expected near the beginning. You'll get better with practice!

Once you get good enough at giving up front and end up in a sufficiently stressful situation, one of your headmates might end up stuck in front instead while you're locked inside your head. If this ever happens, you need to tell your new fronter to slide into my DMs before the headmates inevitably cannibalise what's left of your identity. No, I can't save you from getting snuffed, but I do know how to pick up a plural girl.

[tusswrites]

In Every Lifetime, We'll Be Together (Pt 2) (EDITED)

Pairing: Mingyu x Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humor(Everybody thank Seokmin) Word Count: 9k words (I apologize in advance) Warnings: A lot of tears from Mingyu. That's what my sadistic reader asked for in the previous fic . I love y'all fr Part 1 here. (This can be read as standalone) Author's Note Down Below Master List is here What inspired me for this fic

Synopsis: One year post-breakup, Mingyu and Y/N are "trying" to move on—emphasis on "trying." Their magnetic pull is so strong that even fate seems to be moonlighting as their matchmaker, orchestrating a series of comical and inevitable reunions. Looks like love’s just not ready to let them go!

PRESENT DAY TIMELINE

Mingyu shuts the door on his now ex-girlfriend. He could already imagine the disappointed look his mother would be sporting when she realized his plus one to Chuseok would not be making it. His father would be asking him about Jia and when he'd break the news about their breakup, he envisioned his father's tone saying "another one?".

And Minseo, he was supposed to be her role model, how was he any good when he couldn't maintain any relationship beyond four months. He seemed to have a type as much as he protested he didn't- girls that loved to be taken care of, girls that adored his money and enjoyed being spoiled. Walking to the balcony, he opened the doors to take in the view of the 'City of Love'. A sardonic laugh escaped him. It seemed almost ironic that this very city was where he’d end things with what he had deemed his 'One True Love'. Jia had been his fourth official girlfriend in a long list of flings he'd enjoyed during his breaks from his previous girlfriends.

He was hooked up to her through his manager who had introduced his niece. "She had a crush on you since Seventeen debuted in 2015. You are her bias through and through. Every birthday she demands customized gifts that hold your face. Makes my job easier."

He had told him. And although Mingyu had made it a point he'd never date his fans, he supposed it was okay to date his manager's niece. Jia was exactly his type- funny, extremely gorgeous and loved being pampered. Just as clingy as he was. He feared she would be snobby but was pleasantly surprised with her easy going personality. 

And yet for all those places they had toured together, all those gifts he had brought her and all those times his heart swelled with pride seeing her socials filled with her gushing over his enormous surprises, he missed the intimacy of it all. Jia came from a patriarchal family where women were seen as ornaments, expected to adorn themselves and please the men in their lives.

The pride he felt upon her talks about "My Man" could only satiate him for so long. Family dinners were always tense, with her father scrutinizing Mingyu, evaluating him as if he were a mere candidate for his daughter rather than a lover.

Jia had never learned to fend for herself; she’d never managed finances, never lifted a finger to contribute, and relied entirely on her father’s wealth. This upbringing shaped her view of relationships, where she saw Mingyu not as an equal but as someone who should endure any hardship without complaint.

She dismissed his struggles and mocked him for being hurt by jokes, considering such feelings trivial. Every night when Mingyu came home exhausted after practice Jia remained detached and indifferent, her behavior shaped by an upbringing that never taught her to value empathy or equality in a partnership. She openly called him out for his sensitivity, reducing him to dust if she so much as saw a tear in his eyes.

He shudders remembering one fateful night. He'd liked her TikTok that posted about 'toxic masculinity and how fragile men are afraid of showing emotions whereas real men cry'.

 "Jia is unlike Jiyoon and Minah" he thought. He'd come to her and opened up to her about his struggles the past few weeks and expected sympathy from her but was openly met with disdain.

"Mingyu, why are you crying? Everybody struggles with depression. She'd taken him to a nightclub, an exclusive invite only membership, gotten him drunk out of his mind and prompted him to forget his troubles for the night. Cut to the next morning, he's plastered all over her socials, him blacked out over a table with a post-

📸✨ Last night was all about breaking those stereotypes! 💪 I took my man out for an epic night, because let’s face it, real men don’t hide their feelings. 🌟🕺🏼 After getting him to open up about his struggles, we hit up the hottest club in town and danced the night away. 💃🎉 No more of this "tough guy" facade—true strength is in being real. 🙌❤️ I love how he’s not afraid to show his emotions, proving that strength and vulnerability can go hand in hand. 💖 Here’s to a man who isn’t afraid to break the mold and embrace every part of himself!  #ModernMan #BreakingStereotypes #RealStrength

Were it not for the inevitable lecturing his hyungs would give him, he'd have broken it all off then and there. Two more months of this facade he had kept up, and finally called it quits. He was tired of being on edge all the time, afraid of one more slip up, exposing his vulnerability to her and getting sneered at.

As much as he loved those kisses and felt great pride in her constantly complimenting him on being a gentleman and never letting her raise a single finger, he craved an equal footing with someone. Someone who would take care of him in return. Someone who was not always uploading TikTok's and Reels bragging about her trophy man , but someone who would make him feel more worthy as a human.

He craved having someone with whom he could unleash the weight of the world on rather than getting jeered at. He craved the touch of a human, who would run fingers through his hair and sing him to sleep. Someone who would appreciate his transparency and could read him like a book. Someone with whom he never had to worry about putting on a mask. Someone who was you.

He hated everything he thought he wanted in a girl he'd get, only to have it all slip between his fingers when his thoughts revolted back to you. He'd awake at random hours during the night in a cold sweat, having dreams of you. Your cute giggles, how you would silently tease him for mishaps mid conversations, your embarrassed chuckles on mispronouncing brands he'd gift you, how you could always sense his mood swings and accord yourself to fit into them.

In hindsight he has realized that perhaps he was a tad bit selfish with you. You were far more accommodating of what he wanted over what you wanted. Granted, you never let down your guard with him. Between the two of you, you were the stronger one, the first one to apologize in a fight even if he was in the wrong, never crying in front of him and although he was far larger than you, he loved feeling so tiny in your arms. How you would hug him to your chest, scratching his hair and singing to him every time he was stressed out.

Your occasional hums and concerned hmms, how calm you kept your composure when he was enraged over something. How a simple baby from you would melt him and he'd be putty in your arms. He missed the animated tales you'd whip up, oftentimes villainizing the 'rich snobs' in your cafe. Your conspiracy theories never ceased to amuse him and how although everyone thought you were far too sweet, only he was allowed the privilege of seeing your mischievous side.

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You were on closing shift tonight. Although the occasional odd hours didn't bother you, this was your fifth overtime shift in a row and your body was aching. If only you could receive one of those massages that you offered to top clients, to have somebody dissolve the tension in your body or to just be offered the luxury of getting straight 9 hour naps. The rattling of wind chimes alerted your body into full attention. Peering around the corner you were welcomed by a familiar mop of head. "Seokkie?"

"Y/Nie?"

"Seokkie." You jumped from your spot behind the counter and ran straight into DK's arms. Gosh it had been over a year since you last saw him and you had missed him. So freaking much. With the way he was squeezing you back, it was pretty clear he reciprocated the feelings. There was nobody else who would come to the bakery at this odd hour anyway, you could allow yourself the pleasure of hugging an old friend.

"I missed you.-" "Where have you -?

"How have you bee?"

"Oh it's been so lo-"

"Did you listen to ou-"

It was very obvious that both of you couldn't hear the other one through your excited chatter. Gosh had it truly been so long?

You were hit with a wave of nostalgia on seeing his wide array of sparkling teeth. He was sunshine personified in a human being. His eyes twinkled, his smile was so big, God were you healed. With an arm around his waist you ushered him over to one of the stools.

"Sit" You ordered. "We'll talk after you get something in you." You made your way behind the counter and resumed your job.

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"Yeah well you can't really blame him Seokkie. He made his choice and I agree with him, oddly? We were inseparable in high school you know, we were always given the crown for being the 'Best Couple'. He'd stand below my apartment every morning and we'd walk together to school. After school, we'd go over to his place since coming back to mine was a no-no. We'd-"

"Why was coming to your place a no-no?". You looked at him in surprise

"Mingyu never told you?'

"No? Was he supposed to?"

" I thought you guys were inseparable and you all knew each other pretty well." 

"Yeah well not everything apparently. Don't get me wrong, We'd always known since our trainee days that our resident visual had a girlfriend he was in love with. We knew your name, knew about your 'kind heart' (your cheeks turned pink) knew about your amazing sweet voice, knew about how you would audition next year in SM, knew about your ambitions to be a doctor if SM didn't work out (you chuckled at this) and how insanely kind you were. I was subject to your sweet voice Y/N, he'd listen to them every night before falling asleep and since he kept losing the earphones, all of us in the dorm would have to hear you."

You were full on blushing now. You didn't do well with praise Seokmin knew. Funny because Mingyu rode off the high of any praise he'd get. "But we didn't know anything about you as a person." 

"Well, my dad was in house arrest, Seokkie. He wasn't allowed to leave the house or he'd be sent back to jail." Seokmin drew a big breath. He didn't know that. No wonder Mingyu protected you fiercely compared to his current girlfriends.

" He was miserable staying at home all the time and soon he turned to drugs and alcohol to help him. We were tasked with getting him the goodies from the drug lords that kept loitering near the apartment "

"You remember my brother Byeonie? " You saw him last year when you stayed over for the weekend? He's tall, has freckles on his face-"

"Oh yeah, one skinny dude, suuper tall? Like 6'5. Wasn't he under the influence too? He whispered the last part like saying it aloud was a bad thing. You laughed aloud. Pure Seokkie.

"Yes, that's him, my brother. Yeah he got hooked up too fast. Well they were both addicted, Dad's been trying to come clean for some time now but Byeonie is well-.

"You see Seokkie, back in high school we'd go over to Mingyu's because our studio apartment was no safe space for me or Gyu. " You changed the subject, Seokkie looked far too innocent and pure and although he was a grown ass man, Y/N figured some things were better kept in the dark.

"We'd play and do our homework together, well I'd do both of our homework's, Mingyu never bothered. Yet somehow that idiot aced his exams."

"Yeah, he'd brag to us how he had a reputation to maintain being the boyfriend of the smartest girl in class and had a streak of all A's." Seokmin interrupted

"Yeah, such a surprise since he was asleep in most of his classes." You were full on smiling now.

He watched you with a fond look for a minute now. It was evident you had escaped into dream land.

"Then why- and I am sorry to intrude, but why are you both not together? You both clearly seem to be perfect for each other. He makes you happy and you make him happy too. He is miserable nowadays Y/N"

He expected you to look satisfied knowing Mingyu was miserable without you but you looked upset? You kept worrying your bottom lip and your eyes were clouded. 

What?

“Seokkie, we started out as lovers when we were in middle school. He was 12 and I was 11. We've been together through thick and thin when we were both poor and hungry for fame. He longed to be a model and although he wanted me to be an idol, I envisioned myself as a doctor. We made plans for the future hoping to be each other's ride or die. But the future favored Mingyu in a way I have always known it would. Mingyu is charming, even tempered, smart and easy to love.

We were never cut from the same cloth and despite what Mingyu believed, this was his destiny, to be famous and an idol. He has succeeded. I can't live like that, you know. Cannot take in the expectations of people's opinion over my shoulder. I am too timid and cowardly for that. I have a history of running away when things get difficult .

Our plans were full of hope and ambition when we were younger. We were so sure that we could make it through anything together. We’d talk about our future like it was a canvas waiting for us to paint our dreams on. But as time went on, it became clear that our paths were diverging. Mingyu was destined for the limelight, and I was left grappling with my own limitations and fears.

I know when opening up to Mingyu about my fears, he'll tell me that I am enough for him and you must know that's simply not true Seokkie. He deserves someone who can handle the fame and the pressures that come with it. I can’t be that person, and I’ve learned that the hard way.

Last Jan when we got back together, after so long, we were in our honeymoon phase. It took some time to realize we were not the eager eyed kids we once were. " 

And all Seokmin had wanted was to drink some coffee to stay up and binge watch 'Queen Of Tears'.

You locked the cafe and set out into the warm night. Tonight, you were not so afraid. Seokmin offered to drop you home and although you'd initially denied, he refused to take no for an answer. So there you were belted up in the passenger seat of Seokmin's Hyundai, giving out instructions to your current apartment. 

'Y/N.'

 Y/N hon, wake up."

"Y/Nie?".

"Aaaaaaaaaah."

A loud shriek in your ear had you jump awake.

You startled bodily and with Godspeed strength punched the man who'd- 

"Seokmin"?

 "Ouch! Aish"

Oh God. Terror descended on you seeing red blooming on his cheekbone where you'd just clocked him.

Oh God, what have you done? 

"I am sorry, sorry, sorry- Oh God Seokkie- I wasn't- I was sleeping and I didn't."

"Hey Y/N it's okay, hey CALM DOWN! I am not mad! You were just being defensive . It's my fault for-

"Seokkie I wasn't thinking through and you were there and-"

"Kim Y/N."

Dead silence. You stared at him in utter shock. That was your nickname back in school. It was a known fact you and Mingyu would be married and everybody had started to call you Kim Y/N taking on his last name. The name sent chills down your spine.

"Did you just-?"

" I am sorry, I never caught what your last name was but from the looks of it Kim seems to be at home with you miss ma'am."

He was smirking at you and you wanted nothing better than to wipe it off his face. Promptly you removed the seatbelt from around you and jumped out of the car rushing off with a loud " Bye Dokyeomaahh."

Loud cackling echoed in your ears. "Bye Kim Y/N aaaaa"

You raced up the three flights of stairs to your apartment, flung open the door, and shut it behind you with urgency, as if someone might be on your heels. In a dramatic, moviesque moment, you clutched at your pearls and leaned against the door, catching your breath and trying to steady your racing heart.

In your fleeting race of thoughts, an old figure you had steadily tried to repress in the last one year, crept up your mind. Your hunk of an ex boyfriend. Kim Mingyu. The love of your life.

Or so you had thought.

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Seokmin barged into the practice room the next morning, a plethora of apologies from his lips, ready to fall on his feet to beg for mercy having been late for rehearsals.

But the room was empty except for the presence of Jeonghan hyung, their manager, Scoups hyung and Mingyu? When did he get back? Seeing their expressions it was pretty obvious they hadn't expected to see him. 

Surely he must have missed some texts from the group chat, his fault entirely for sleeping through all the alarms and rushing to make it for practice.

"Dokyeomah"?

"Mingyu when did you get back ?"

Hold on, were those tears in Mingyu's eyes? Aww no his poor baby.

Ignoring Jeonghan's extreme nod of disapproval, he ran headlong straight into Mingyu and started peppering him with kisses.

"Ooof. Get off you big oaf."

Someone's feisty tonight.

"You need a HUG." Seokmin had no idea where that popped off from. Mingyu still looked like a dead chicken, so he pressed harder hoping some compression therapy will help him decompress.

A small sob was heard and alarmed eyes began to signal back and forth between the members. Ahh so Seokmin did have magic hands like Cheollie hyung claimed he did.

He kept hearing muffled cries of "Jia "and "broke up" and "Paris".

Wait, is that why he was crying? Piecing the few words together, it seemed that he broke up with Jia in Paris. Didn't he just go to Paris to celebrate his 4 month anniversary? Things were slowly falling in place. Wouldn't this make his third breakup in a year? Not that he's judging. Well maybe. Only Mingyu could-

"Hyung Hyung, the Calvin Klein ad came out, you are going viral on Tiktok- Oh my read these comments-" Seungkwan barged into the room like a whirlwind , unwittingly disrupting the somber mood of the room. He came to a screeching halt sensing the judgmental glares.

On his heels followed Hansol, nose buried in his phone, unaware.

"Mingyu hyung, Insta is blowing up - Oh my fans are going crazy- They are posting the thirstiest- Check this out." 

A loud sob burst out of Mingyu, causing everyone to turn towards Mingyu, including idiot Vernon who looked like a deer caught in headlights and a Seungkwan side eyeing him up like he was any better. Cheol hyung sprang up, ushering the bewildered maknaes out of the room and shut the door tight, making sure to lock it tight this time.

Before leaving, he shared a knowing look with Seokmin, hoping to get him to calm his best friend down. And yet through all those utter babblings Mingyu was doing in his choked up state, Seokmin kept hearing your name being chanted. "Y/N".

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The after party for Seventeen's album release was exhausting every social bone in his body.

Normally, he was fine being the life of the party but tonight, all he wanted was to go home and eat some ramen and just take a hot shower and wind down for the night. All this takeout and extravagant food was making him sick. He craved some non greasy healthy food to heal some part of him. "Like y/n used to make for him", an unwanted voice supplied in his mind.

Mingyu sighed. These days it is getting harder to forget about you. Ever since the break off with Jia, it's like a switch has been turned on, all these memories of you kept sneaking in. He saw you in every crevice of his thoughts and Mingyu just wishes.

Longingly wishes to just see you even once. It was nearing a year since your break up and Mingyu cannot grapple with the thought of having gone one entire year since he last saw you.

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"Seokminie please". I will sacrifice my third child for this."

"What if I want your firstborn for this?"

"A little ambitious don't you think. What are you the Angel of Death?. Next you are going to start asking for souls."

"Wow let's not go there, if I am going to be a soul collector, I might as well go all in. Besides, the firstborn comes with lesser attachments."

"Alright deal. Firstborn it is. Now don't go amping up the deal. I gotta explain to my future baby why they were traded in for a favor."

"Bet. Don't come crying to me when you run out of sperm count and you are unable to produce more offspring. "

"Hey I will not run out of-"

"With the way Wonwoo hyung comes to my door every night asking for a place to sleep peacefully, I doubt that. It's your hoe phase right now and-"

"Hey it is not a hoe phase."

"Then what is it Gyuie?".

"Look all I am asking for is that you help me get to see her tomorrow at the Hybe Employee Wedding Day-"

"It's Hybe Employee Engagement Day by the way."

"Look, are you willing to help me or not."

"I'm not."

"Seokmin please”. His voice was getting worked up now.

"I know it was Y/N here the other day. That side profile is undeniably hers and she was talking to your girlfriend. And I know you have spoken to her before this."

"How did you-"

"I overheard you telling Hannie hyung when he asked you about the bruise on your cheekbone. I know I wasn't supposed to but it was her name and my ears perked up and the whole yada yada. Please, I just want to see her Minnie. That is all."

Seokmin scoffed internally. "Calvin Klein Model. My ass".

If people could just see the 6'2 man reduced to dust for a high school fling. Pathetic. But also very cute. And yeah, also pathetic

"Alright fine, but don't tell anyone I told you so. Nagyung will have my head. And you know that's not a big economical loss as opposed to yours but some of us do contribute to the society in ways-."

"Dokyeomah, stop changing the subject."

"Fine, My Gosh. Stop whining. Nagyung will be attending the event, Fromis9 will be performing there and they have extra passes , she gave me one- boyfriend privilege and all but-"

"Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you . Oh Lordie, today's a good day." Mingyu was full on prancing around now, smooching kisses on the crown of his head, the tall bastard.

" I haven't even confirmed I will be giving you the pass."

"But I am giving you my firstborn child for this." There comes the pout.

"Alright, don't start. I will give you the pass. Get ready to explain to Kim baby they've got the value of a chopped liver to their dad "

"Kim baby will understand, your honor."

"Off you go" And with a slap on his butt, handed him the pass and sent him away.

"Well well well, looks like someone wants in on the hoe phase. You know if I did swing-" Mingyu was turned around, smirking at him.

"Damnit Mingyu oppa JUST LEAVE". That was not Seokmin's voice. Mingyu stared in astonishment as Nagyung came out from the bedroom, a crossed out expression on her face. Her boyfriend looked equal parts sheepish and proud.

"You've been here all this while?"

"Yes and I hope to be here for some more time, preferably with my boyfriend. Alone. So scoot along lover boy."

Sheesh. He knew when he was not wanted.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You kept pulling down your skirt, this outfit was making you itchy all over and you were so afraid to just slightly lean down even. Not that you'd be bending down in this outfit. Why were you even thinking about bending down? You knocked against your temple as if to stop the useless train of thoughts that kept yapping in your head. One weird thought and next you were imagining yourself doing some weird splits mid air with jeans that cracked at the crotch?

Ever since you had started your new job as an intern with Hybe Corporate, you were mandated to dress prim and proper as opposed to your laidback outfits in your previous jobs. You missed just donning on anything and covering your hair with a hat when you got too lazy to wash your hair.

Today was Employee Engagement Day for the corporate staff and BeLift Lab kept sweeping all the wins today. What were they feeding their staff?

It was 12 in the afternoon but no one cared about the hot sun. It seems blood was being drawn out and the only way to settle the tie between BeLift and Source Music was a basketball match.

Which explains why you were sitting here at the bleachers ready to cheer your label mates on. Next to you sat Nagyung, looking far too uninterested in this match.

"How do you know so much about basketball unnie?"

"Well my ex in high school used to be in the Team, he played for district level. I am a seasoned cheerleader now kiddo."

"Ex-boyfriend?"

 " Yeah aha."

 You didn't want to continue that topic anymore, opting to keep cheering for your team. Who was losing. Miserably.

Funny. You'd never been on a losing team's side before.

It's been a good long 45 minutes and the match is still on! Nagyung was growing restless beside you, bribing you with free dinners in hopes you'd ditch the match and hang out with her. You had to commit to the bit.

Her pouts were growing stronger and there was only so much resistance you could build.

"But unnieeeeeee.. " She was full on whining now.

"Isn't the sun just too hot? My manager oppa will kill me if he sees me get a sunburn on such a hot afternoon.

Speaking of the sun. You were prone to getting a migraine every time you stepped out into the sunlight. But it's been an hour in the sweltering heat and you were fine. Weird. You looked over to Nagyung who kept squinting trying to look at the match. Huh. Did you attain some sort of superpower that got you immune to the sun?

You turn to look at the mostly empty seats now, cue the unforgiving sun and behind you, on your 180 degree you see a bag? A bag blocking you from the sun.

There he sat in all his glory, shielding you from the scorching sun. The little bit of surface area he couldn't quite cover, he blocked with a bag, holding it aloft to fend off the harsh rays.

His smile was nothing short of breathtaking—an unrestrained, radiant grin that seemed to light up your entire world. He squinted slightly against the glare (he couldn't protect himself from what he was shielding you against) his eyes crinkling at the corners, but his grin remained unwavering. The smile revealed his slight fangs and gums, accentuating his boyish charm. His hair, recently permed, framed his face in soft curls that brushed against his forehead, adding to the casual, effortless appeal of his look. Oh how your heart swooned.

Kim Mingyu. The love of your life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's been two weeks since you last saw Kim Mingyu and although you'd have expected to talk to the boy and get back in touch, it's been difficult alright. There was still a power gap between you and now even more so since you were interning in your new company, which is also coincidentally where he worked. Just your luck.

Hybe had strict policies restricting your interactions with other idols especially the senior idols and with you being just an intern at Source Music, you knew how invaluable you were to the company.

One wrong move and you'd be kicked back to the curb with your previous two jobs. Bottom of the food chain again. Mingyu was well aware of this rule seeing as he never trespassed on your work times within the company. But he did have questions. Plenty of them.

All of a sudden, your boss was called to shoot for Seventeen's latest music video. And since you were his intern, you tagged along. Which explains why you were here on the 17th floor surrounded by Pledis' stuff.

Wasn't it Kim Mingyu who had told how much he hated the theoretical part of anything? Why is he suddenly lurking around the conference room, notebook in his hand writing down notes that described the music video location and the props they'd need. Could one year change a person this much?

And in the following days, you began to notice, to your great amusement Mingyu's presence all around the conference room, to drink water?(the water filter in the practice room broke down), to gas up your boss (seriously Mingyu, no thanks to you he thinks he's the best director in the world) by bringing two cups of coffee everyday, cause how could he ever forget the lovely lady? and sometimes even cake. "I baked it." Mingyu gushes in your boss's ooh's and aahs

A slice of cake was passed over to you. "Serioulsy y/n, you have got to take a bite of this creamy deliciousness."

"No thanks. I'll pass. I don't like sweets anyway."

 "Fine. More for me."

He delves right into that last slice while Mingyu stares annoyedly from behind. You could feel the heat of his glare.

The next day, he comes with snacks. Shrimp crackers. Today the whole team is there.

"Ahh Mingyu, you are such a thoughtful young man!" one of your older colleagues says, her eyes twinkling with appreciation as she takes a handful of shrimp crackers. "It’s so nice to see young people showing such kindness."

Another adds, "You’ve got the manners of someone raised right. It's refreshing."

Mingyu grins, clearly pleased with the praise. “Just trying to spread a little happiness,” he says, still watching you closely.

Your other colleagues join in, complimenting Mingyu on his thoughtfulness and kindness, making it clear that his efforts haven’t gone unnoticed. You suppose a small snack wouldn't hurt someone now would it.

Just then, Hyunsik, your co-intern came into the room holding two bags of onion chips. Your favorite.

"Sorry everyone, traffic was terrible. Here I got you all some onion chips as an act of redemption."

"Ohh snack fest." You reached for your favorite chips and began scarfing them down.

To Mingyu's chagrin.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's late in the evening and you've just finally reached the end of your task for the day. Not too late compared to your previous job but your wrist cramps from typing too much. You get up to leave the room and get -

You hear a small squeaking noise and turn to see a figure retreating hastily behind the adjoining wall. You quickly follow the shadow to see "Mingyu"?.

"Mingyu" suddenly stops and crouches to tie his shoelaces and you hear a snicker from behind him. You follow the sound to see "Seokkie"?

"Hey why does he get a cute nickname and I don't?"

 Literally what?

 "Huh"?

"Real subtle doofus".

"I can hear you Seokmin." You gestured to his hands covering his mouth. Seokmin looks at you in awe.

"Not so subtle anymore doofus."

"Mingyu, what are you doing here?"

Silence. He is looking everywhere but you.

"Seokkie-

"Hey-"

-min?"

Silence again.

"Is anyone gonna start talking?"

"Umm we wanted to check on something." Mingyu supplied

You quirked an eyebrow. "Check on what?"

"Umm we wanted to find out where the next music video was going to be filmed in?"

"Weren't you present for the first meeting when we discussed that?"

 "Ahh you know me, I was sleeping through the presentation."

"You were taking notes Mingyu!"

"Aha! so you were checking me out!"

"Mingyu, you offered to lend me the notes in case I missed out on anything!."

"Umm I wanted to show Seokmin- right Dokyeomah? Dokyeom?"

You both look around to see an empty hallway. Did Seokmin just ditch him like that? The mood had turned somber again.

You peer up at him with a questioning glance and he blushes slightly.

"Y/N, I-"

"Really Mingyu? Director from Source Music to shoot your next music video? Home baked cake? Shrimp crackers? Coffee every morning? Vogue magazines in the ladies toilet? Bribing Seokmin for passes to see a basketball game?"

"Hey, that was supposed to be an alliance between us."

"Did you think he wouldn't tell his girlfriend? Do you think I wouldn't interrogate Nagyung after your sudden appearance at the game?".

"Wait, did you say you saw Vogue magazine? What do you think about my Calvin Klein shoot?

"Oh My God Mingyu, you and your big head-."

“Hey, Y/N, ready to head out? I’ll drop you home,” Hyunsik interrupts as he approaches.

“Mingyu! Long time no see!” Hyunsik greets enthusiastically, giving him a quick hug.

“Hyunsik, I thought you were still in med school.”

“Yeah man, that was my parents’ dream, but I dropped out after a year of surgical internship. It was just too much, so I switched to photography. Got an internship, and guess who’s my partner in crime now?” Hyunsik smiles, clearly excited, nudging your shoulder.

Mingyu shifts uncomfortably, barely acknowledging Hyunsik.

“Alright, Hyunsik, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

"Actually, I could drop you-"

"No thanks, Hyunsik knows where I live now, you needn't trouble yourself."

"In a minute, I will join you Hyunsik." He nods and walks to the car park. You turn back to Mingyu.

"And Mingyu, Nagyung actually cares for me, you know. She looks up to me like a younger sister and I adore her so. Please stop using her as a ploy to find out more information about me. I'd like to believe I am worthy of good things in life without being part of an elaborate scheme to get something out of me.

And congrats on the Calvin Klein ad Gyu. You looked good. You always do."

When you look up at Mingyu, you are met with tear filled eyes and quivering lips. Your heart sank. Mingyu with a puppy doll face when he was not trying to act cute was your weakness. You wanted to reach out to him but he pulled back and stared defiantly at the wall.

You left with a sinking heart.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mingyu-ssi?"

He looked up to see a woman in her early 40s approaching him. "Kim Mingyu?"

He offered a polite smile, recognizing her vaguely.

"I’m Jung Jiwoo, editor for Source Music—"

"Oh, you’re part of the team for our new music video! Hi."

"Yes, that’s right." 

She blushed slightly, and Mingyu couldn’t help but smirk internally, appreciating his effect.

He held the door open for her as the elevator dinged.

"Where are you headed, Jiwoo-ssi?"

"Floor 19, please. And call me Jiwoo noona."

"Ah, right. Jiwoo noona, what’s on the 19th floor? Isn’t Source Music on the 13th?"

"We’re celebrating LeSSerafim’s music video after a successful shoot. Are you free to join us?"

"Wow, really? Wouldn’t I be intruding? I am free though" 

Lies.

"Not at all. You can be my plus one. It’s not every day I get to hang out with a handsome young man like you."

"Well, okay, noona. If it’s no trouble."

"None at all. It would be my pleasure."

Mingyu muted his vibrating phone and followed her to the party.

Coming to the party proved to be a big mistake. There you were in arms with Hyunsik. Rubbing his back for him. Just like you would do for him all the time. Were you scratching his hair? Were you and Hyunsik-? This was just like middle school all over again.

He couldn't watch this anymore. He had to leave. Immediately. He scanned the room for Jiwoo noona, finding her near the refreshments. He approached her, trying to mask his distress with a polite smile.

"Jiwoo noona, I’m really sorry, but I’ve just received an urgent call. I need to leave right away."

Jiwoo’s eyes widened in concern. "Oh, Mingyu-ssi, is everything okay?"

"Yes, just some personal matters. Thank you for the invitation, and I’m sorry to cut it short."

"No problem at all. I hope everything is alright."

Mingyu gave a brief nod, apologizing again before exiting the room. And he ran.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seokmin felt a sense of deja vu infiltrating his veins on rushing to the practice room, late once again with a mouthful of apologies on his tongue, greeted by the sight of Mingyu crying in Seungcheol's arms. As soon as Mingyu saw Seokmin, he sprang to his feet, his eyes blazing with anger.

"YOU."

"Woah Woah Mingyu. Calm down man" Wonwoo came running and stood between them before Mingyu could lay a finger on him.

"What's this about Mingyu, you can have your firstborn, Nagyung said-"

"You told me Y/N wasn't dating anyone and it was time to shoot my shot again. You LIED Dokyeom."

"No she is not in one, she woulda told Nagyung if so."

"Then why did I see her with that motherfucker—"

"Swear jar!" someone shouted, just in time for Mingyu’s curse to be cut off.

"Well I don't know Mingyu, she never told us anything about a "motherfucker "boyfriend."

"Wow this way we can fund a whole trip to Disneyland."

Seokmin could see from the corner of his eyes, Jun giving Chan a warning look for his offhand comment, and Woozi ushering the younger members out. The whole scene was eerily reminiscent of past chaos. As much as Seokmin wanted to bite back at Mingyu, he could see that the boy looked pretty shaken up.

Cheol hyung came to break the commotion.

"Alright everyone, let's take a breather." Clearly some of you all have some unresolved tension going on so why don't you take a break. We'll resume practice tomorrow."

"Hey I am the dance leader, don't I get a say in this."

"Okay Hoshi, it's your call man."

"Practice is canceled for today everyone."

"That’s exactly what I said!" Seungcheol replied, in a petulant tone.

Seokmin quickly left the practice room, hoping to find you and get the real story.

"Seokkie?".

"Y/Nie what are you doing here?"

"I came to give these papers to Mingyu, Director-ssi sent me over here- are you okay? You resorted to rubbing his arm.

Before Seokmin could explain, the door swung open to reveal a weary-looking Myungho, who glanced at you both before stepping aside. Mingyu, still teary-eyed, watched the two of you from inside the room.

Perfect. Just perfect.

Before anyone could react, you burst into the practice room.

"Oh no, Mingyu, you're crying. What happened, love?"

Seeing your concern only made Mingyu's tears flow more freely. It had been a tough day, and the sight of you with him had been the final straw.

The pain was raw and overwhelming. He knew he had no right to be this upset, especially after dating three people since you, but seeing you with Hyunsik—of all people—hit him hard. He thought you could have been with someone else, like a wealthy businessman or even one of his bandmates. Woozi hyung was single.

Yes yes. Mingyu could get by that. You and Woozi hyung- oh who was he kidding. He cannot bear seeing you with anyone. He needs to work on his jealousy. It's a real problem.

"Shit love you are crying so hard and -" you started digging around your pockets for a- damnit no pockets in this dress.

 You hate looking fancy. But Mingyu's tears wouldn't stop rolling and you had to get him to stop somehow.

In a rush with no thoughts whatsoever, your fingers brushed his cheeks to catch the stray tears and this proved to be a wrong move since Mingyu, in all his heightened glory, fell on you. Try as you might, you cannot catch your boyfriend Mingyu so on to the floor you topple, bringing him down with you.

“Mingyu, come on," you murmured, trying to calm him while struggling to get comfortable on the hard floor. He was incessantly babbling and you were beginning to get scared. "It’s okay. I’m here."

The room was silent except for the occasional sniffle and the shuffling of footsteps as the others gave the two of you space. In that quiet moment, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just you and Mingyu, tangled together on the floor.

Mingyu's sobs gradually softened as he rested his head against your chest, his breath becoming steadier. The position was awkward, but right now, all that mattered was that he felt your presence and affection. He looked at you blearily.

 "I am sorry you have to constantly see me like this Y/N, you seem happy in your relationship and I-"

"Hold on what relationship?"

"Y/N you don't have to lie to me, I saw you today with him at the party.?" 

"Mingyu I am not in a -"

"And I know Hyunsik is exactly your type, he's funny and smart and he."

"But he's not you Mingyu" you said in a quiet voice.

"W-what?"

" Who told you we were in a relationship Mingyu?"

"Well nobody had to tell me, I saw it with my own eyes. I was at the party with Source Music and I saw you rubbing his hair and it reminded me of when-"

"Because he was puking."

" you used to- wait what?"

"He was throwing up because he ate a starter that contained shrimp and he's allergic to shrimp. I was just rubbing his back and scratching his hair to soothe him. Only you could see a three second scene and cook up a whole damn story in your head Mingoo."

"Is he okay?"

"What?". You started chuckling .

Only Mingyu could change emotions at the speed of lightning.

"Is Hyunsik alright? We can take him to the infirmary here. Hybe started a new one just for its artists but if they don't take in interns we can take him to the hospital."

"He's alright love, I called his girlfriend and she came and took him home."

 And although he tried to hide it, you saw him let out a relieved sigh at the mention of a "girlfriend".

"Mingyu we need to talk."

You could feel the fight leave his body as he turned his face to look at you.

"Come home with me."

 "W-what?"

"Please, just for the night y/n. I just want to talk to you in the sanctity of our home. And if you still wanna leave after that, you can. I'll drop you home. Or I'll get Wonwoo hyung to. Or I can call Seokmin too. Please just come home."

"Alright fine let's go home love. I gotta pack up first."

"I'll see you at the carpark in five minutes. Does that work for you? "

 "Sure does."

The apartment looked just as it had before you left. Except for the guest room now taken up by Wonwoo.

Nagyung told you he'd moved in after the breakup. All your couple pics were still plastered on the dining room wall.

"Mingoo no wonder you couldn't keep a bitch, why am I still on these walls?"

"Yeah well, no one ever came here."

"Huh?".

"You mean you-"

"I mean Minah did come once but she didn't like the smell of dirty socks and Jiyoon and I never made it to that apartment showing phase.

As for Jia, well she was far too rich to ever step in here- her words not mine. Her parents slept in separate rooms and me having only one room screamed poor to her"

"What the-?"

" Don't get me started'. But we are here not to talk about our exes."

"Your exes. I never had any".

"Such a pity, anyone would be lucky to have you." You stopped still in your tracks. It was getting harder being the stronger one.

Mingyu's heart broke seeing you stand there looking so vulnerable.

He craved to have you in his arms again. Well what was stopping him?

He took the extra step and scooped you up and plopped you onto his lap. With great care he stroked the tendril of hair hanging on your cheekbone. You looked so pretty tonight. In your lavender dress that Mingyu remembered buying for you. It filled him with so much gratitude seeing you wear his gift. Your hairstyle today was letting your hair just cascade down your face and you looked so lovely he didn't want to stop touching you.

Or holding you. Feelings for you had never truly gone. No matter what, he was always going to love you.

Cupping your face in his hands, he gently rubbed your eyelids, hoping to get you to open your eyes and look at him. You were fiddling with his dog tag. The very dog tag you'd gifted him with your first salary.

In it were inscribed the words- "In Every Lifetime, We'll Be Together."

"Look at me."

"Y/N honey please look at me."

He could see the rosy flush on your cheeks even before he could finish what came next.

"Baby."

Damnit.

One word and he's got you tingling everywhere. Now too embarrassed to look at him, you put your arms around his neck and hide beneath his collarbones.

Mingyu started chuckling, causing your head to jostle. With a whine, you wrapped your arms tighter around his neck hoping to get him to stop teasing you.

"We made a deal in the car that you would sing me to sleep. You won't even look at me even once."

" Yeah well aren't you the hot one. How am I supposed to behave normally when I have an international heartthrob looking at me like he loves me."

"That's because I do love you Y/N." 

With his palm he pulled your head from his neck and turned it to look up at him.

 "I am in love with you Y/N. I have always been. Never stopped. Not once.

When you called it quits last year, my heart broke because a break from you was not what I wanted but if that's what you wanted, I'll gladly give it to you. I have been selfish about everything you know. But with you I - I don't know what it is about you Y/N.

You have a magnetic pull over me. Three girls over, toured around the world, vacationed in all the hot spots, ate every food, saw every scene yet nothing satisfies me like you do. Nothing and I mean nothing makes me happy like you do. Last year this time I craved for the pot at the end of the rainbow but baby there is no gold there. I can't imagine a world without you in it Y/N.

I know I have a long way to go, to get back in your good graces, to make you realize that I want you for you. I don't want that rich life Y/N. Don't want no fancy cars or brand deals. Just you. I want to come home to you everyday. Want to come over to us in our home that we made. Want to make you happy. Want you to be my wife someday. If you give me a chance, I will be a better man. I'll show you I am deserving of your love.

Don't you realize it Y/N? It's a privilege to be loved by you. Nobody else in the whole world can make me feel special like you do. I love your cute smile. And your selflessness. I love your heart. Love how pretty you look in a lavender dress but still get my heart pumping in a pair of pajamas. Only you could get me rushing to take down notes if that's what gets me to sit next to you. Only you could push me to be a better man so everyone around me can rely on me. You are the reason."

You hadn't stopped looking at him and he could sense the beginnings of a tear forming in your left eye.

"So Kim Y/N". He could sense your breath hitching. 

"Will you let me love you?"

In lieu of an answer you brought down your nose to brush against his. Mingyu loved your Eskimo kisses.

You were always too shy to initiate kisses so this was your way to let him know you wanted him to take charge . And take charge he did.

"I am going to kiss you now." He whispered before cupping your face between his palms and bridging the gap between your lips. Not knowing where to put your hands, you began fiddling with his dog tag.

His lips felt like home. Pillowy and welcomed you right in. You sighed quietly.

As he deepened the kiss, his right hand began a slow, tantalizing journey down your side, eventually resting on your hip. The dress you wore had a subtle cut that revealed a sliver of stomach. His thumb brushed softly over the exposed skin, sending shivers through your entire body.

Still unsure of where to place your hands, you gently slid them into his hair, your fingers tenderly scratching his scalp. He pulled away with a whimper reminding you of a contented puppy. Not wanting the moment to end, you began to let out a happy smile, earnestly reflecting the twinkle in his and uttered the words he's been longing to hear for some time.

"I Love you Kim Mingyu. Always have, always will."

BONUS

You started rolling against the soft sheets, letting out contented hums on the comfort the cotton provided you.

You were extremely sensitive with material and hated the static effect of satin.  It was surprising to see that although Mingyu loved satin, he'd not gotten any, still keeping the bedspreads you'd brought when you first started living with him. It was as if the old linens held a special significance for him, a silent reminder of the time you both had started your journey together.

After your warm, soothing shower, the kitchen was filled with the comforting aroma of kimchi jjigae that you had lovingly prepared. Mingyu, ever attentive and considerate, took it upon himself to handle the cleanup. With a gentle insistence, he ushered you towards the bedroom.

“Go on, get comfortable,” he said softly, his hands brushing against your shoulders as he guided you away. “You’ve had a long day, and you need your rest. I’ll take care of this.”

You protested slightly, but his affectionate gaze and the promise of a cozy bed were too enticing. Reluctantly, you complied, slipping into the bedroom where the soft glow of bedside lamps created a serene atmosphere.

Mingyu’s care was evident in every little detail—he wanted you to have a peaceful, restful night, especially with your busy work schedule the next day.

As you settled into the bed, the gentle rustling of Mingyu in the kitchen could be heard. The sounds of him tidying up, paired with the distant clinking of dishes, were a comforting backdrop to the warmth of the blankets enveloping you.

The room was quiet, save for the occasional murmur of Mingyu’s voice as he hummed a soft tune while cleaning. His tenderness and thoughtfulness were palpable, making it easy for you to relax and let go of the day’s stresses.

You let out a contented sigh, knowing that you were cherished and cared for in every possible way. A little while later, Mingyu came to the bedroom chuckling on seeing you make snow angels on the bed. "Baby, I thought I told you to sleep."

The sound of his voice made you jump slightly. Looking up, you saw Mingyu standing in the doorway, a playful smirk on his lips.

"You looked busy, baby."

You could only manage a sheepish smile, feeling as though your head was filled with nothing but fluffy clouds of happiness.

You outstretched your arms beckoning him closer. Mingyu didn't bother resisting. With as much heed to not bruise you with his full weight, he crashed into you. Nose nudging on your chest, he began to let out soft hums at the pure bliss he felt. He was here at last. In your arms whilst your fingers kept playing with his hair humming a sweet song.

I want you to be your light, 

baby You should be your light 

더는 아프지 않게 네가 웃을 수 있게 

I want you to be your night,

baby You could be your night

이 밤이 너에게 솔직할 수 있게 

"Did you mean what you said before"

"You are still not asleep baby?". 

"Yeah well not that easy with all this weight resting on me."

"Hey you said you love me! That includes my fat ass too. No take backs missy".

Mingyu was now pouting at you from his sanctuary up on your boobs.

What in the?

"What were you talking about love ? What about what I said before?"

"About making me your wife."

"Well, yes. Why would I joke about that? Did you think I was lying to you there?". Mingyu’s eyes widened with indignation.

"Calm down Gyu. I didn't think that far ahead."

 "Well I'd love to have you forever if you'll have me."

"Yeah I'd love that. It would be nice to have kids with you." You could feel him wince slightly.

"About that-." 

"What? Don't tell me you got a vasectomy or something."

Mingyu looked genuinely puzzled. “What’s that?”

“Seriously, what’s going on, Mingyu?”

Mingyu took a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage. “Well, I was actually going to tell you something about our future kids.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what’s that?”

He took a dramatic pause. Ahh what the hell. You'll come around eventually. Grinned mischievously at you. 

“Our first child? They’re going to Seokmin.”

“What?!” You laughed, half-shocked, half-amused. “Seokmin? What do you mean?” 

He let out a fake yawn and laid back on your chest.

"Go to sleep Y/N , you have work tomorrow."

You pinched his butt playfully earning a wiggle from him. "I'll get that story out of you. Just wait and see Kim Mingyu."

"I love you pretty baby".

"And I love you Gyuie"

Authors Note 1

Mingyu and Y/n's relationship is reminiscent of each of our relationships in life, whether with lovers, friends or even certain situations in life. Although in a very whimsical fairy like moment it's alright to be loyal to your past love, if you both have evolved into completely two different characters it's okay to move on .

Even if Mingyu and Y/n wanted each other , they could rekindle the old flame only because they found a middle ground , where y/n gets a leg up in her career from a barista to internship in a top company and Mingyu decides going behind some luxuries in life aren't worth the hassle for.

In reality, we wanna continue evolving and some of us just stay stagnant in our positions and that's okay. Not everyone's willing to up skill and downgrade for another person. Not everyone is willing to adapt or compromise for someone else . Learn to count your blessings and move on with your life .

And sometimes the best act of loving someone is letting them go.

Authors Note 2: Seriously guys thanks a looot for comments and love in my previous fics. But if I need to continue making fics, I'll need some actual human interactions.

Please comment, reblog, drop in my asks if you want to talk about these fics. I might do some drabbles in the future. Dividers sourced from @saradika-graphics

Taglist (Comment below if you want to be added)

@mansaaay , @toplinehyunjin , @luvminwon , @sana-is-ms-rmty , @tacolombe , @miminyapipimingyu, @skzbangchanniee @@lilydaisylily , @vixensss , @gaslysainz , @chyrkv , @minhui896, @synthetickitsune , @ariananotgrandeee ,

[pianokantzart]

Hi, can I just say I love your character studies/essays on the Super Mario characters, especially from the movie. I don't know if you accept requests, but I was wondering if you could do an essay about Luigi being autistic. Luigi is my most favorite character of all the Super Mario characters (my second fav is Peach) and I hc him as autistic because I'm autistic, so imagine my surprise when I first saw the movie and his attitude and mannerism just screams autism. Don't know if it was intentional, but either way I'm happy they made him autistic.

Thank you! This took longer than expected, but I've broken down the essay into two main arguments for Luigi having ASD:

Part 1: Difficulties Socializing

The first and most obvious thing that people point to when suggesting Luigi (Movie Luigi in particular) is on the spectrum is his social interactions. As sincere and kind as his words usually are he shows a repeated inability to read tones, register figures of speech, or understand social nuances.

And while it's not stated explicitly, it's also hinted that Luigi struggles with controlling the volume of his voice. In the movie he gets inappropriately loud when emotional or excited, and in the Luigi's Mansion games he gets quiet and mumbly to the point that he can't get a word in. In either case, it's another sign that he struggles to understand and adapt to social communication in ways that come naturally to neurotypical people.

So, while Mario is inclined toward team sports and games that involve large groups, Luigi favors solitary activities. In a flashback in the movie he's shown keeping to himself, preferring to play with building blocks on the playground alone. Details in his bedroom imply an active photography hobby, and in the games he's shown to be an avid reader and skilled mechanic; two other hobbies in which one has plenty of alone time and full control over the pace of the activity.

Part 2: Sensory Issues & Motor Function

Speaking of pacing, it's very common for people with Autism to need to work at their own speed, which is often quite slow as autistic individuals demonstrate a bias for slower deliberative processing over rapid intuitive processing. This might be part of the reason why Luigi so often drags his feet when he's in a new location, and is teased by E. Gadd in the Luigi's Mansion games for being "sluggish."

And while his clumsiness can easily be waved off as just silly comic relief, it must be noted that most people on the autism spectrum have altered motor coordination, and studies show motor skills are substantially lower in autistic children when compared to their non-autistic siblings. Furthermore, one of Luigi's most defining characteristics is how fearful and anxious he is, and 40% of autistic people experience significant anxiety throughout their lives (Luigi's fear of lightning and loud noises may imply some level of auditory sensitivity as well.)

Then there's the way he moves. In the movie Luigi repeatedly stands with his arms tucked to his chest and his hands balled into his fists; a posture colloquially referred to as "T-rex arms" in the autism community, and is commonly believed by experts to be a form of stimming.

His stimming is far more blatant in the games, especially in the Mario & Luigi RPGs and Luigi's Mansion 2, where Luigi is repeatedly shown swinging his arms, rocking on his heels, and twiddling his thumbs.

So while Luigi definitely has a love for exploration and a strong sense of empathy that defies a lot of the stereotypes of autism, there is a really good argument to be made that he is on the spectrum.

[thealexchen]

thoughts on LIS: Double Exposure?

This is probably gonna be my hottest take in awhile, but: I deeply dislike the idea of an official LiS1 direct sequel game existing. Excluding all my thoughts on the gameplay, story, Max's character, etc. I don't think a game like Double Exposure is necessary.

This isn't a new take either; back in 2020 I made a Reddit post saying I was glad we never got a continuation of Max and Chloe's story, because in order to have a plot, you have to have conflict. And to have conflict means your characters are forced to change or struggle in some way, and I simply wasn't interested in seeing that again. I never even read the comics. As long as Max and Chloe's future existed only in the fanbase's collective imagination and not in an officially licensed game, Pricefield could be as happy as I wanted and I wouldn't have to witness DN or D9's version of canon.

A lot of fans, including myself, are also confused and upset as to where Chloe could be in Double Exposure. Even if Chloe winds up having a surprise role, it would likely be too logistically difficult to write Chloe into one version of the story and not the other. Either way, DE is strongly pointing to Chloe no longer being the deuteragonist. If D9 was going to make a direct sequel with Max and Chloe, I could at least be intrigued by how they might write their dynamic and how they'd use Max's power in new and interesting ways. But instead there's... none of that. Chloe's nowhere to be seen and Max can't time travel anymore.

On a narrative level, Max and Chloe are the heart of the original Life is Strange. They represent the game's central relationship, and their very first interaction (Max saving Chloe's life) kicks off the entire story. Throughout the story, their dynamic advances the plot and mutually motivates their character arcs. You can't have LiS1 without either Max or Chloe; the story simply wouldn't exist without them. Now in DE, they don't even seem to be in each other's lives anymore. It's true, this series is meant to reflect universal feelings and experiences, which could include breakups, but the romantic catharsis of Pricefield as canon soulmates who defied time and space itself to stay together forever is something you can only get from the beauty of fiction. To jab DE's story with a dose of reality and go, "Eh, they grew apart. Shit happens," totally undermines everything the Bae ending stood for.

On a technical level, Max's rewind was an objectively brilliant game mechanic. LiS1 arrived onto the scene after Telltale had paved the way for the resurgence of choice-based, episodic games, but LiS1 totally reinvented the wheel by giving the player the option to go back and weigh each option before continuing, essentially save-scumming in-game. But the right choice was never that easy to determine, and Rewind brilliantly complemented Max's character arc of overcoming her indecision and learning to live with her choices. Not to mention, you could also use Rewind to solve puzzles, instead of the endless fetch quests the later games had. No other LiS game since then has given the player that kind of agency and interactivity. LiS2 had telekinesis, but the player couldn't use it, only Daniel. D9 tried with Backtalk and Empathy, but Max's Rewind was truly the narrative and gameplay jackpot that they haven't been able to recreate since.

So if you take away one half of the central relationship that made the first game so memorable, and the supernatural power/game mechanic that made it so fun to play... why even bring Max back at all? It just feels like D9 threw away their golden opportunity to build upon the major selling points of the first game and are only relying on name recognition of the Life is Strange "brand" and Max Caulfield.

What upsets me most of all about a direct sequel existing is that it proves that Life is Strange, as a series, now stands more for profits than originality. Life is Strange will always be an IP meant to make money for Square, I know that, but back when LiS1 was just a brand new episodic game, it stood out for how different it dared to be. In a landscape saturated with shooters, sexualized female characters, and casual misogyny, LiS1 instead featured a teenage girl in a contemporary setting that took her seriously and made her the hero of her story. Before it was a franchise, LiS wasn't concerned with the bottom dollar; it was a piece of art that just wanted to tell a thoughtful, unique story.

Whether you love it or hate it, Life is Strange 2 was an insanely risky follow-up to Life is Strange that refused to rely on the convenience of a direct sequel because Dontnod stuck to their artistic vision. Meanwhile, all of Deck Nine's games have leaned on the first game's following to generate interest (BtS being a direct prequel, TC bringing back Steph, and Wavelengths expanding on Steph's connection to Chloe, Rachel, and Arcadia Bay). In other words, all of the subsequent LiS games by D9 have played it very, very safe. It's worked like a damn charm because there are still elements I love about each game, but the basic principle is nostalgia-baiting fans. It's just that now, Double Exposure isn't hiding that nostalgia bait at all anymore and prioritizing profits over telling a unique story. It's sad to see that LiS has strayed so far from its risky, daring, original, and unique artistic beginnings.

Before I end, I'll say that I can't be too cynical about it all, nor do I want to be. Because I can't deny how much joy this whole series has brought me, too. LiS was what got me into narrative adventure games and pushed the boundaries of what a video game could be. If nothing else, I am truly thrilled that Hannah Telle got the chance to play Max again. D9's always been great at maintaining relationships with their actors, and the casts of their games always have consistently great chemistry. Getting recognized by Erika Mori on my own blog is still unbelievable and speaks to the amazing community that LiS has built. As you can see, I'm still posting and reblogging stuff about Double Exposure. And while I don't see myself buying or playing this game for myself, I know it'll keep all of us talking for awhile, and I still live for a good discussion.

Thank you for asking! And thank you for reading.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Hey, hi! You have very cool works, I really like reading you and always wait for your works. Please, do not leave us here alone.

I have a question: what can you say about a reader in the Mortal Kombat world (yandere) who has absolutely no emotional intelligence (like me)? Which yandere would be the scariest for such a reader, and which ones are the softest?

I don't mean that the reader will be cruel or heartless, but he is simply not in tune with emotions and cannot understand what others are feeling. As someone who suffers from this, I can say that I often don't notice how someone falls in love with me, and sometimes this leads to awkwardness

P. S. Who is your favorite fighter, if it's not a secret?

A/N: aww thank you for requestinggg. This is so camp. I struggle with empathy and similar things too. I went a little more broad with it. Alsooolo between mk11 and Mk1 there’s a big personality jump with a lot of characters so my answer is different depending on the game. Hopefully I did this request some justice.

(P.S. Kung Lao is my 1 fave and then Johnny. For female characters it’s Mileena and then scarlett. I like them crazy lol.)

Characters: I only did the ones I actually care about lol.

Warnings: This is purely my opinion based off of my interpretation of yanderes. Please bear in mind that when I write Yandere, it’s at extremes.

Requests: always open

Masterlist

Safe Zone

Mk11 Fujin, Kotal Khan, Night wolf, Kuai Liang, Jax , MK1 Reptile, Raiden, Smoke, Baraka, both Liu Kang, Kenshi, both gerases

While you maybe aren’t intentionally trying to discard them or hurt their feelings, it doesn’t seem like it at first. Why are you so blank? How can you just shrug off a confession like that? Do you hate them?

Once they get to know you better by studying and observing your habits, they realize that this is simply the way you are. They are compassionate enough where they don’t really let it bother them anymore.

They have not only a legitimate love for you (under their deranged behaviors), but a lot of emotional intelligence. At their core, they have a bit more maturity on things like this compared to their counterparts. Especially Fujin and Kotal Khan, they’ve been here for ages and have dealt with many different personalities before. You’re not really the first person who has been emotionally shut off like this. Besides, it’s not like you’re showing someone else more love or attention than them so..whatevs

(If you do discard them for another person tho, they will raise hell about it and retract their compassion.)

They will be more direct and intentional about what they want and their feelings so it's not so confusing for you. I can also imagine them guiding and helping you understand them more by maybe taking a different approach towards empathy? Emotional intelligence can be improved and I think they’d be rather good at this. You might not be fully there on everything (depending on where this is stemming from) but you’d have a better grasp at least.

I will say though that at times they might get sad when you don’t initiate affection or respond emotionally how they’d ideally picture it. Especially if there’s absolutely no improvement after a while, they’d get manipulative. They’d make you believe you feel something that you actually can’t. Also might get a bit frustrated by your impulsivity, outbursts and isolation.

Danger Zone

Mk11Shang tsung,Kano,Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Erron Black, Hanzo Hasashi, Kabal, Dark Raiden,Baraka, Noob Saibot, Shao Khan MK1 Bi-Han Johnny Cage, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, General Shao, Kuai Liang, Kung Lao

They. Do. Not. Care.

All of these men have a massive ego that needs to be stroked and inflated by you. They want praise, love and affection. They want 100% of you. Yes, that includes emotionally.

They really don’t care what the reason is for why you are ignoring their advances, you will reciprocate. Their demands will be met and you are in love with them. Fake it good!

I hope you’re a quick learner because you have to pick up on their cues. You should know exactly what they need and when they need it. Your words should be ever so carefully chosen and your actions should have much enthusiasm.

There is no room for your mistakes and accidentally offending them, you will be punished for it. Mood swings and impulsively can result in reactive behaviors on their end.

Don’t make any of your interactions with them awkward in front of others. It isn’t funny to embarrass your “lover” like this.

No. you can’t be self centered. They are the center of your life. No. You cannot hold grudges against them. You should always forgive their actions. Aaaaand no. You really cannot ignore/not listen to them. How dare you.

Wait…it almost sounds like they are just as emotionally immature. Nahhh. They’re worse.

Yeah there’s no room for your Low EL, they need you to be a stable sounding board or else this relationship is going to be far more toxic than anything you’ve ever seen.

They’re completely far gone, no amount of explanation can save you. They will use any means necessary to get something out of you that isn’t even there in the first place. You are going to be everything they imagined you to be and more.

Conflicting feelings

Ngl kinda wanted to put Mk11 Johnny up top because I just am stuck on the fact that MK1 Johnny is a far worse Yandere. Like MK1 Johnny is older, mellowed out and is very mature at this point…but then I remembered his younger self. His mk11 younger version would be far more menacing than MK1. Mk11 Johnny Cage’s younger self would come out of him during his obsession. He can’t help but be an absolute asshat and forget all about his growth when it comes to you. Once a playboy always a playboy.

Kinda wanted MK1 King Lao in the top category aswell but…do I have to further explain. He’s definitely not as cocky and arrogant as his MK11 counterpart but he’s young, immature and impulsive. I don’t think he’d understand your low EL. It would drive him insane thinking that his darling isn’t reciprocating. He’d become rather aggressive and an egotistical monsterrrr in the process.

Kotal Khan really got me too because like he’s absolutely a lover boy but his heart isn’t as warm as it used to be.😭😭 debated putting him in the danger zone because there is so much potential for him to be cray cray but rewatching him and Jade interacting with each other made me choose the softer route. I think once he realizes you are just emotionally immature he’s just unphased by you. Like I can’t see him being that upset by his darling or something like that?? He’d be patient and understanding. He might’ve once been just like you but with time and age, he changed. So can you. Maybe I’m just being too generous?

Dark Raiden. I mean Raiden himself isn’t very intelligent when it comes to emotions. He’s goal and logically focused so I think he’d understand you. BUT what made me change my opinion was that dark! Raiden is completely corrupted and so is his way of thinking. He’s twisted and probably can’t really register your low EL. I think he’d perceive it as you being purposefully defiant towards him.

Mk1 Kuai Liang. People make him super soft and cuddly but Idk I feel like if I’m putting Bi-Han in the danger zone that it makes sense for his brother to be. They grew up in the same environment and Kuai is shown having similar or even worse traits to him. I don’t think he’s a saint. Smoke stands out more to me as someone who’d be softer. His voice lines and personality reflects that.

How do I even tag this 😩

[supersoakerfullofblood]

Why You Shouldn't Care About Theme (as a writer)

"Theme" is another word like "worldbuilding" and "plot hole" that writers put way too much stock into without clear definition. It's often thought to be one of the most important things in your story, one of the defining traits of creative writing, but it can be hard to pin down, and some pervasive definitions are actively harmful to the writing process. Let's talk about that.

A common misconception about theme is that it's the story's "message." Under this definition, a theme of The Great Gatsby would be that generation wealth is a hollow substitute for genuine human enrichment, love, etc. A theme of Hamlet would be to not kill yourself. But this idea of a book's message misses the point of why we read at all. Reading is a relationship between the author and the reader; to interpret text, the author puts their experiences in writing, and you bring your experiences to its reading. In other words, you as the reader create meaning from a story. You give the story its messages. The author's only purpose is to transcribe their worldview and experiences, and the best authors can sway the empathy of the reader towards those experiences. Anything greater than this, any book that moralizes, preaches, dictates, is gaudy, emotional propaganda. Imagine a novel where throughout the book, the author is telling you about the toxic environmental effects of unwalkable cities. While true, narrative fiction is a realm of characters and story, not essays. Readers pull meaning from a novel because they think and feel about a character's struggle and relate it to their own. So a message about The Great Gatsby is that generation wealth is hollow because we as readers live in an age of unprecedented wealth disparity; a message about Hamlet is to not kill yourself because we as readers have felt pretty down in the dumps sometimes and have maybe thought about suicide. But our experiences could be different: if we're generationally wealthy, we might read Gatsby as a celebration; if we have an awful stepfather, we might read Hamlet first as a story of revenge than of introspection. Strong authors make you sympathize with the experiences they've gone through--Fitzgerald himself was a wealthy, popular man and saw firsthand the effects of wealth, and Shakespeare probably felt rough around the emotional edges at times--but ultimately, deciding a text's "messages" is up to the reader.

So if we can't control the messages of our writing, what is theme? I like to think of it as "whatever a text is about," and that about word carries some ambiguity. Is Gatsby about money? Yes, but there's more to that. You can think right now about a plot element your WIP is about, but as authors, we want to find that greater depth. That's what we call theme.

Common writing advice tells you to plot out your theme, that greater depth, before drafting the novel. Figure out that Gatsby is a story about generational wealth being a hollow substitute for romance before anything else. But when you think about it, this is crazy advice. Themes like this can only come from our characters and how they interact with the world, and how our characters act is always going to stray in some way away from our plans for them. Writing that deeper theme, then, is impossible to plan (unless you're the most extreme plotter and have found success like that, then keep doing what you're doing. But you reading this almost certainly are not in that camp, let's be honest). So how do we get there?

Before you start drafting, think about the surface-level "abouts." Don't go deep yet. Just think about what's pressing on your mind. If you want to take a very slight moralistic bent here, do so, but be sure not to go into specifics (that's for the characters to do). For my first novel, I wanted to write about friendship responsibilities, family responsibilities, and friendship; for my second novel, church camp, romance, and evangelical culture; for my current novel, the role of story in culture, honor, familial trauma, and cultural perceptions of gender. Some of these took on moral detail--evangelical culture is bad--but most didn't. As you're writing, your characters will discover that deeper meaning. Again, your characters have to and will by nature of being part of the narrative. Your readers interact with the story, not with you.

In my first novel, I came to the thematic conclusion that too many responsibilities degrade individual identity, but too few leave someone empty; in the second novel, I concluded that evangelical culture places restrictive boxes on what romance looks like, and on how to interact with and resolve traumatic events. But I didn't come up with these--my characters did, and I learned from them in the exact same way any reader would. Similarly, a reader might interact with my characters and come to completely different conclusions. This is normal, okay, and encouraged.

You may also find other themes popping up as you write. In my second novel, popularity and social capital became a huge cog in the machine. Let these fresh themes surprise you, and run with them.

Ultimately, you can't control what your readers take away from your story. Your goal as a writer is to create characters so rich and deep and intimate (not in the romantic sense, unless you're into that) that the reader can bring their experiences to the text and find meaning. We cannot worry about this before starting a writing project, because we can't control it, and thinking too much about it will muddy the waters of what actually matters, what we can affect. And when you start to sense those deeper meanings emerging in your story, run with them, flesh them out, and embody them in the struggles of characters.