#ok so. hmm. I do both of those but especially the emotional one. I think...
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some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat · 11 months ago
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Thank you so much!
Questioning npd culture is thinking you knew what empathy was and that you had a lot of it then meeting someone with npd and not being able to figure out how their lack of empathy is actually different from your experience then finding this blog and following it to educate yourself and to shake that silly idea that you might have no empathy (if you didn't have empathy that'd mean you were totally wrong for years and it's common for your brain to convince itself it has every symptom of every disorder so it shouldn't mean anything) but instead you find yourself going "haha I do that.jpg" reading most of the posts and getting increasingly confused by the situation but still not able to confirm or deny the empathy thing and these are probably human experiences that these people just experience more than you and then someone goes and describes your exact situation and then adds that they apparently have no empathy but don't explain how they reached that conclusion and you just kinda give up on being normal about it and trying not to intrude. Anyway if someone could explain what it means to have empathy or not that would be very helpful and appreciated. Also I'm sorry if this is inappropriate.
i actually elaborate on what empathy is a bit here.
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rachelsshowerthoughts · 6 months ago
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Not Aware AU exactly but kinda tangential. I always toyed with this idea of "Kagami was transferred into Adrien's class when she joined the school."
This could be in S2, or be because Tomoe saw Adrien was attending school and she's got those later season machinations & sends Kagami to make sure he's not snagged by a gold digger.
(In the former case its just in S2, while in the latter it starts after Princess Fragrance.)
This was fine and fun at first, but Kagami is more willing to start shit with Chloe & much less patient with Adrien's continued softness.
Plus, Adrien can't really explain why he's fond of Chloe cos its a mixture between he can't imagine his life without her (Sibling coded) & stuff like, "She was there for me when mom disappeared & got me into school".
This leads to her at some point losing her patience and dragging both off to a classroom and basically saying "Either she needs to improve or you need to drop her, because this cannot go on."
You'd expect it to be a two on one but Adrien's efforts to play peacemaker lead to Kagami arguing with him as well.
Then when one of Chloe's major blows lands hard against Adrien, "Our parents harm more people every day than I do in a year and you still love them, hypocrites!"
It does nothing to Kagami, because she doesn't love her mother, she respects her, obeys her and fears her wrath but she doesn't love her even a little and she assumed Adrien was the same.
He is not the same & is in fact kind of defensive of his father at such a blatant rejection of one's own family and how uncomfortable it makes him.
It basically descends from there, cos I love slow burns but sometimes its just like, "Hmm what if they all started screaming their issues that they do not realize are issues at the top of their lungs?"
None of these kids know therapy talk so their languages on it is already going to be shit even before we remember literally not a one of them has much in the way of healthy communication or good social skills outside of formal events so:
So you have Chloe defending stuff like destroying Roses' letter because "That's how Mama handles it when I give her bad gifts, she's telling me to do better and one day I'll get it right!" As well as "Why would Papa want to see me when he doesn't need me for something? He's not a lunatic control freak like your parents."
Then you have Adrien defending stuff like, "I know my dads cold and has impossible standards and barely lets me do anything I want but he is protective and just wants what's best for me!" & "My mom was always kind to me, she was perfect even if she never let me go out or have a birthday either!"
& Kagami defending Tomoe with, "It doesn't matter how I feel about Adrien, or my instructions, I act as I do because it is for the good of my family. My emotions, my life don't matter at all before that duty!"
So its just three incredibly fucked up abused kids steadily airing each others and their own families laundry list of abusive traits and experiences under the pretext of saying "No my family is normal & OK yours is the bad one" and "How dare you call 'that' bad, when your parent does this!"
(Also Chloe may think Gabriel killed Emilie or otherwise would rather have Adrien sealed in amber forever than as an actual living boy,)
With this continuing until it either gets physical or they basically collapse.
Meanwhile the class is just watching in mounting horror and disgust and discomfort. (Nino is likely especially pissed) Like even with Chloe it may not justify her behavior but it puts so much of it in a new deeply messed up context where it kind of makes sense she doesn't even know how to be nice.
To quote a friend of mine:
The rich kids have taken knives to each other. They've cut open their festering wounds. The rot is exposed, scrubbed raw. While they lie angry, bleeding, crying, and dying [inside], they have the opportunity to look upon themselves once more and apply new dressings.
I can see it, but unless Gabriel is ACTUALLY out of the country, all three get Akumatized. My thoughts are a weird mix Grimm Brothers Fairytales - Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, etc. Not in specific, but like. More fairytale tropes?
Adrien is the "Cinderella"-style. Rapunzel, Snow White-style, "One Day My Prince Will Come"-style. The type of character that has to sacrifice and sacrifice, and will eventually be rewarded. If he does one more photo shoot, one more public appearance, *scrubs one more floor*, his father will finally love him. He'll finally have the happy ending he wants. He just has to stick it out - cause his dad DOES love him, right? (As a possession, if at all.)
Chloé is more of the "Trials"-style. Complete this mission-style. Knit twelve sweaters from nettles, and your brothers will become human again. Find the right goose, and get set free. Defeat the evil witch, and the spell is broken. If Chloé tries hard enough, does and says the right things, her parents will love her, show her affection. She'll finally be worth something. (All of it performative and shallow, until they raise the bar to another impossible height. Always keeping her dependant on them.)
Kagami, weirdly, I see as more endurance, or contract style - like a flipped version of Adrien. She isn’t really trying to "change" her situation the way Chloé or Adrien are, (for value of "trying to change it", ie, playing along with their parents games because that’s all they know to do) she's accepted this is the way it is, and is simply trying to endure it. Go through the motions. Hold up your end of the bargain. Work within the bonds of your deal, to do as little harm as you can, while still fulfilling your end. One day, you'll be out. You'll be free. (As if her mother will ever set her free.)
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meadowlarkx · 1 year ago
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Explore my bookshelf!
Tagged by @searchingforserendipity25 @jouissants and @swanmaids! Thank you so much 💕💕
An estimate of how many physical books I own: I really have no idea especially because they're not all in one place right now. Maybe 200-300? Hmm. A lot (to me)
Favorite author: Tolkien right now? Ursula Le Guin? I really like Sarah Waters and as a wee lass I really adored Patrick Rothfuss. Umm. I realize I usually tend to pick stuff to read from individual authors based on their premise instead of going through an author's repertoire. Sorry, authors. But it's genuinely hard for me to pick a favorite since they all strike different notes! Fandom writers I've known past and present also loom large here for me.
A popular book I've never read and never intend to read: Hmm maybe The Locked Tomb? The vibes just seem too ironic for me. But I might still read it sometime, it just hasn't grabbed me yet. Probably also Discworld. Sorry to everyone.
A popular book I thought was just meh: The Song of Achilles... Whoops. Anyway, I found some aspects of the writing style lovely, but as a story and a retelling it majorly fell flat for me.
Longest book I own: Les Misérables probably, or one of the big compiled editions of Shakespeare or Austen
Longest series I own all the books to: Hmm, I think A Song of Ice and Fire from my fan days in high school—but kinda by accident (I'd already read the last books on ebook when I was gifted them). Still surprises me to think I do actually own all of those tomes in hard copy
Prettiest book I own: Mariana and the Merchild... yes it's a children's picture book. And you've almost certainly heard me bring it up sometime. Lesbian-coded child-rearing of my heart. Look at the pictures!
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A book or series I wish more people knew about: As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann—imagine a fictional microhistory that's also a darkly painted yet tender and gripping gay romance that's also about utopian experiments and the English Civil War. When Fox is a Thousand by Larissa Lai—this book is a dream, a messy and confusing dream, but I recommend it to everyone ever! Chinese folklore and mythology, queer and sapphic-ness, through time and space from ancient China to modern-day immigrant communities in Canada—so touching and really beautiful. Many moments from this one still stick in my brain.
Series: The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud—OK, it's been a while since I read this in full, and I just said I don't always like irony and these books are crammed full of silly little jokes and targeted towards a younger audience, BUT just thinking about them makes me tear up with emotion. Ages-old wry shapeshifting djinni, snotty-kid-becomes-politician, and hardened girl from the underclass navigate an alternate magical-spirits-powered British imperialism. It's queer and incisive TO ME.
Nonfiction: A Biography of No Place by Kate Brown, about borderland villages in Soviet Ukraine and the drastic changes in structures/social organization and identities that occurred from 1920-1950. Poorly said but I just think the perspective this book takes is unique and insightful and empathic and everyone should read it.
Book I'm reading now: The Bandit Queens and Lays of Beleriand. In theory I'm reading them hell yeahhh
Book that's been on my TBR list for a while but I still haven't got around to it: Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino and The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. I checked both of these out to read over the summer and renewed them like 3 times and did I read them... no I did not. Also a bunch more are on the TBR but you know how it is
Do you have any books in a language other than English: La Reine Margot in French is the one I tried seriously to read in recent times, but I have some others in French and Spanish, mostly from high school. 1 in Czech (a copy of With Fire and Sword I have from @sparklingdali for the pictures ❤️). Polish With Fire and Sword & The Deluge pdfs & a couple of physical books ambitiously in Polish, emphasis on the ambition part.
Paperback, hardcover, or ebook? Ideally I check out whatever version the library has. I prefer physical copies and I guess paperbacks, but I'll do ebooks if I have to! At this point I try to only actually buy (hopefully secondhand) books I think I'm really going to want to keep, because I already have too many to move with
Tagging @themelodyofsilence @nibi-nix @tuulikki @sparklingdali @bachaboska if you'd like to do this, and anyone else who hasn't done it yet!
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roxannarambles · 2 years ago
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title: second chances (chapter five)
ship: goldenlight (luz x hunter)
notes: takes place sometime after ‘reaching out’ but before ‘hollow mind.’ (set in my standard canon-divergent AU where everything’s the same except no L*mity)
other chapters: chapter one chapter two  chapter three  chapter four
The next day, it seemed that Hunter’s lunch break had rarely coincided with a reasonable hour for lunchtime, because Luz sent him a photo of what she was eating that day. (It appeared to be a mud grub sandwich, which she didn’t look especially thrilled about eating.) He sent back a photo of his cafeteria food. She responded with some emoji.
Luzura_Warrior:
... 🤢🤢🤢
Rulerzreachf4n:
what do those even mean
Luzura_Warrior:
whatdo you mean? theyre sick faces
Luzura_Warrior:
can't you tell? they're green
Rulerzreachf4n:
why does green mean they're sick?
Rulerzreachf4n:
the only thing I think of that turns you colors when you're sick is the rainbow fever but that's all the colors
Luzura_Warrior:
no it. it's metaphorical, not literal.although. rainbow fever sounds kinda fun ngl
Rulerzreachf4n:
it's not, trust me. you spend most of your time violently expelling fluids from both ends
Rulerzreachf4n:
the fluids are also rainbow colored
Luzura_Warrior:
okay, yeah, nevermind, I don't wanna catch that.
Rulerzreachf4n:
yeah.
Rulerzreachf4n:
what's this one mean by the way? 🥺 I see it sometimes
Luzura_Warrior:
that's supposed to be puppydog eyes, you know, when you're begging somebody for something
Luzura_Warrior:
pleeeeease hunter come visit me sometime so we can make pancakes 🥺🥺
Luzura_Warrior:
like that!
Rulerzreachf4n:
oh
Luzura_Warrior:
I promise my real puppydog eyes are way more effective then the emoji, though
Hunter began to type a reply out, feeling unsure of what exactly to say, but another message came through before he could finish.
Luzura_Warrior:
any other emojis you want me to translate?
Ah. All right. That subject was a little easier to deal with. He scrolled through the list of little faces.
Rulerzreachf4n:
what about this? 😑
Luzura_Warrior:
uhh . . . hm. I dunno I never use that one, I guess it's like ... dead?
Luzura_Warrior:
oh wait, I think I've seen some people use it to mean annoyed. like really fed up with something.
Rulerzreachf4n:
ok. I guess that makes sense.
Rulerzreachf4n:
what about this one? 😤
Luzura_Warrior:
that one's like 'determined.' stubborn.
Luzura_Warrior:
oh but it also can mean really angry. depends on the situation.
Rulerzreachf4n:
oh, I was way off, I thought it was maybe a sneeze?
Luzura_Warrior:
lolol no this is the sneeze emoji 🤧
Rulerzreachf4n:
... 🤔
Luzura_Warrior:
that's for when you're thinking
Rulerzreachf4n:
... 🧐
Luzura_Warrior:
that's for when you're thinking but you're also FANCY
Rulerzreachf4n:
okay there are WAY too many of these
Luzura_Warrior:
lol, don't worry, you'll learn them eventually
Rulerzreachf4n:
I'm not so sure. I feel like this is an entire language.
Rulerzreachf4n:
and like what even is this one??? 🥴
Luzura_Warrior:
I...have no idea actually. I never understood that one.
Luzura_Warrior:
I guess it's . . . uhhh . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
god I don't have a clue. let's invent a new emotion for it
Rulerzreachf4n:
what
Luzura_Warrior:
hey hunter, just finished my lunch and I'm feeling so snorflimppet 🥴
Luzura_Warrior:
you know TFW you're hella gasterplastecked 🥴
Rulerzreachf4n:
no.
Rulerzreachf4n:
stop.
Luzura_Warrior:
yknow we should teach you about memes too if you're gonna be on penstagram
Rulerzreachf4n:
oh, yeah. willow and gus have shown me a few of those. I think I saved one. hold on . . .
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Luzura_Warrior:
I . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
I've become a MEME??
Rulerzreachf4n:
is that . . . bad?
Rulerzreachf4n:
I thought it was a good thing
Luzura_Warrior:
it's . . .uhh well I don't know if I'd call it good or bad, really, it's just . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
hmm, honestly I'm not sure how to feel about it. guess I feel 🥴🥴
Rulerzreachf4n:
well if you don't like it, I can delete it
Luzura_Warrior:
nah, it's fine, no need
Luzura_Warrior:
tbh it's kinda neat.
Luzura_Warrior:
so the meme you have saved to your scroll was the one that had me in it . . . interesting 😏
What was that one? They hadn't discussed that emoji yet. This texting thing was stressful sometimes.
Rulerzreachf4n:
I saved it because it was about flyer derby
Rulerzreachf4n:
it just happened to have you in it
Luzura_Warrior:
mmm ok. if you say so.
Luzura_Warrior:
oh hey, before I forget, you wanna help me start a new meme on penstagram?
Rulerzreachf4n:
how?
Luzura_Warrior:
it's easy! just choose a basic format first . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
like, say, mmm, the old bait-n-switch . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
choose a video . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
and voila!
A link popped up. Hunter followed it to see it led to Luz's Penstagram page, to her newest public post. 
You know, it’s not often that I’m impressed by speeches, but the statements that one of the Coven’s top officials has recently released are really worth checking out. Find it here:
It was a link that led away from Penstagram. When Hunter clicked on it, it brought him to the video of Kikimora falling flat on her face and then wriggling around to dance music. Hunter had already seen this video many, many times, but he laughed again anyway.
Rulerzreachf4n:
ok, if that’s how you make a meme, then I’m a fan
Luzura_Warrior:
great! so all you need to do is post something on your penstagram that claims you’re linking a particular thing . . . but link to this video instead
Rulerzreachf4n:
that’s honestly kind of childish
He paused on his Penstagram page, thinking about it.
Rulerzreachf4n:
…but, she acts very childish anyway, so turnabout’s fair play
Luzura_Warrior:
haha, there ya go.
 Late afternoon, Hunter was in the middle of his usual patrol through Bonesborough, keeping an eye out for troublemakers or any civil unrest. It was a very slow day, though, and hardly anyone was around. He’d gone out to one of the massive demonic appendanges that existed in the town (this one was called ‘Dead Hand’ because it was unusually still compared to the other, twitchier hands). There had been a minor complaint lodged that somebody was trying to paint graffiti on the huge, scaly hand. When he got there, though, he found it was just a couple of kids that looked hardly older than toddlers, and they didn’t even know how to operate a spray paint can. He chased the kids away and then was left standing there in the silent streets of Bonesborough, sighing. Sometimes he felt like most of the duties he did for the Coven was just busywork.
Pulling out his scroll, he logged onto Penstagram and scrolled idly. Luz had ‘shared’ his Kikimora meme post and so it had a fair number of ‘likes’ and a few replies. This kept him amused for a few minutes, but eventually he grew bored. 
His scroll buzzed with a new message.
Luzura_Warrior:
look at themmmmm 😍
A picture was included, and it had King curled up on the couch, with the Owl Lady’s palisman snuggled into his fur, both fast asleep.
Rulerzreachf4n:
nice
Rulerzreachf4n:
this is what I’m doing
He pointed the scroll at the Dead Hand and took a photo to send to Luz.
Luzura_Warrior:
on patrol? cool, I’ve never actually gotten that close to that thing before
Luzura_Warrior:
eda, uh, told me they grab people sometimes, so I’m a little careful
Rulerzreachf4n:
they can sometimes but only when they’re cranky. dead hand doesn’t though, it’s very docile.
Luzura_Warrior:
huh. good to know!
Luzura_Warrior:
hey, I have a question, how come you never send any selfies? I don’t think I’ve seen a single one from you yet
Luzura_Warrior:
you even changed your pfp, it used to be you and now it’s flapjack. 
Luzura_Warrior:
obviously I ADORE flapjack but, well. I dunno, I guess I’m just curious if there’s a reason
Luzura_Warrior:
sorry if that’s prying too much
He thought about when he first made his Penstagram account and all the time he spent trying to get a photo to use for his profile. He probably spent over an hour doing it, only to later decide it looked awful anyway and took it down.
Rulerzreachf4n:
not sure if there’s really a reason
Rulerzreachf4n:
I just don’t feel the desire to, I guess.
Rulerzreachf4n:
I..don’t really like how I look.
Luzura_Warrior:
wait, really? 
He hesitated as he read her message, but she didn’t seem to be teasing him. He decided to take a chance and tell her the truth.
Rulerzreachf4n:
yeah. that’s part of why I like my mask. better to cover it up when people would rather not see it anyway, you know?
He waited as the dots on the scroll indicated Luz was typing.
Luzura_Warrior:
okay, so, I guess it kind of makes sense you wouldn’t realize this, since you probably don’t talk to a lot of people. 
He frowned, confused.
Rulerzreachf4n:
realize what?
Luzura_Warrior:
that you’re actually really cute
He froze, his heart leaping at the blunt reply. Staring at the message in shock, he tried to make sense of it. What? She really thought-- she--
Wait, no. That couldn’t be right. His skepticism returning fast, he typed,
Rulerzreachf4n:
that’s not a nice thing to joke about
At the same moment he’d entered that text,  Luz entered one as well;
Luzura_Warrior:
I mean, objectively speaking. you know?
He narrowed his eyes, confused. She quickly followed up with more texts.
Luzura_Warrior:
what? I wouldn’t joke about that. I’m serious.
Luzura_Warrior:
did somebody tell you that you weren’t?
Luzura_Warrior:
because that’s wrong, you’re definitely. yknow, teenage heartthrob material. 
Luzura_Warrior:
honestly I’m surprised you don’t know this? when I first met you, you were so confident, it seemed like you were all ,’i’m sexy and I know it’
Luzura_Warrior:
uh I, mean, you know. like. objectively! haha.
In an intensely short amount of time Hunter felt like his head was going to possibly explode, the phrase ‘teenage heartthrob’ on repeat in his mind. Flustered, he tried to type out a reply.
Rulerzreachf4n:
you’re really serious? I. but. 
This didn’t make sense. But it really did seem like she was being sincere.
Luzura_Warrior:
ok, you gotta tell me who told you all this BS about how you look, because they’re not only a jerk, theyre apparently blind
Starting to feel a bit warm, he confessed,
Rulerzreachf4n:
nobody really told me that, I just. it’s what I’ve always kinda thought.
Luzura_Warrior:
oh.
Rulerzreachf4n:
but. now that I have your perspective, I. 
He struggled to figure out how to reply.
Rulerzreachf4n:
well it’s.
Rulerzreachf4n:
 good to know
Luzura_Warrior:
okay well great glad i could clarify that!
Luzura_Warrior:
annnnyway
Luzura_Warrior:
anythgig  ecxiti ng ever happen onyour patrols???
Hunter glanced up as he caught motion out of the corner of his eye. It turned out to be a Coven scout, carrying a spear, also out on patrol. Not really a surprise; it seemed the only people out today were Coven members.
The scout waved as he approached. 
“Hello, sir! Run into any problems today?”
Ah, it was Steve. There were a great many coven scouts in their ranks, and Hunter admittedly didn’t recognize them all by name, but he recognized Steve. He had a rather decent . . . well, “friendship” was not the word. He had a rather decent acquaintanceship with him. It mostly consisted of Steve sitting next to him sometimes during lunch and rambling about whatever random things were rattling about in his head, while Steve in turn would listen to Hunter rant about Kikimora. It hadn’t ever gone beyond that, but still, it made Hunter feel slightly more at ease to be around a semi-familiar face. Well. A semi-familiar voice. He’d never actually seen any of the scouts maskless. 
“Nah. Just told a couple of kids to go home before their mothers worry about them. Truly a test of my skills and training, I know, but somehow I prevailed.”
Steve laughed. It was strangely nice to have another person actually laugh at his snarky comments.
“Hey, at least it wasn’t one of those days where we had to clear out a sligguth infestation, right? I’d relish a little boredom in comparison.”
Hunter frowned.
“I guess so.”
The coven scout leaned casually against the Dead Hand’s wrist as he began to ramble idly.
“This job’s not quite what I expected, I’ll tell you that, but it does give me a lot of time to think, you know? It’s kind of nice on these slow days when nobody’s around to bother me and I can just do my own thing.”
Hunter raised a brow, even though his face was covered by his mask.
“You mean goof off?”
Steve chuckled again.
“I know I’m not the only one, weren’t you just looking at your scroll?”
Hunter jolted a little, even though he still had the scroll in his hand and it wasn’t a surprise the scout had seen. Accepting that he’d been caught out, he lifted the scroll back up and glanced at it. He answered wryly,
“As far as you’re concerned I was just monitoring social media for any potential rabblerousers.”
The scout nodded.
“Of course, sir.”
Hunter looked at his scroll thoughtfully for a few moments, considering the human he’d just been conversing with. He was struck with a sudden impulse. It was pretty out of character for him, but there was something about the human that seemed to make him do strange things. And in the moment, he didn’t really care.
“Hey, um, Steve? You wanna help me take, uh . . . a ‘selfie’?”
He handed his scroll to Steve. The scout shrugged.
“Sure. Although I don’t think it’s technically a selfie unless you take it yourself.”
Hunter hopped on his artificial staff and quickly flew up to the top of Dead Hand.
“All right, well whatever it’s called.”
He landed on the open palm of the giant hand and set his staff down. After a moment of hesitation, he reached up and pulled his Golden Guard mask off.
From below, Steve was pointing the scroll at him, fiddling with settings.
“Hmm, why don’t you try something a little more dynamic, sir?”
Hesitantly, he asked, 
“Dynamic?” 
“Yeah! Pose or something.”
He thought about that a moment, his mind casting back to when he’d first met Luz on the airship. Oh. Sure, he could do that.
He got down and sprawled casually on his side, leaning his chin into a palm, propping it up with an elbow. He held his mask in his other hand loosely against his waist and fixed the scroll with a steady gaze.
“Oh, that’s perfect, sir! Hold that. Hmm, the angle is a bit weird down here. Maybe if I backed up a little. . .”
Hunter had a better idea. He grabbed his staff and sent it down to the ground.
“Here, just ride that.”
“Oh, that’s genius, sir.”
Steve seemed unperturbed about this taking a little work, and he rode the staff up around Hunter’s hight and carefully adjusted his position.
“All right, good, now smile for the camera?”
Ugh, this felt kinda weird. He really did hate pictures. But he was determined to do it.
All right, just imagine it was Luz floating there. She wanted a selfie, he’d give her one.
He quirked his brow a little and slipped into a cheeky grin, gazing intensely into the scroll as if she was right there in front of him. He heard the scroll snap a few pictures.
“Wow, you’re a natural, sir. I feel like this would make a great recruitment poster! The old one is a little plain, you know?”
Hunter stood back up and shook his head as Steve returned the scroll to him.
“Nah, this is only for friends.”
He sat down on the hand, his feet dangling off the edge as he fiddled with his scroll. Steve landed and sat down beside him, humming,
“Of course, you need to keep the mystery of the original poster. People respect and fear the mask.”
Hunter nodded.
“Exactly.”
He hesitated as he looked at his picture. Did it look stupid? Should he actually send it, or maybe retake it? Was it too weird? Too . . . much? Maybe he should–
Oh, screw it.
He sent the photo to Luz before he could question it any further and chicken out. After that was a tense wait, but it didn’t last for very long.
Luzura_Warrior:
ohmygod 
Luzura_Warrior:
asafdjh;lgfju
Luzura_Warrior:
what have I done, I never should have told you the truth 
It was unclear what exactly that meant, but Hunter had hoped it was positive. He answered cautiously. 
Rulerzreachf4n:
you said you wanted a selfie
Luzura_Warrior:
hahaha I did, it’s true
Luzura_Warrior:
but boy, you REALLY delivered 
Rulerzreachf4n:
is that a good thing?
Luzura_Warrior:
yeah uhh 
Luzura_Warrior:
definitely a good thing.
Luzura_Warrior:
it 
Luzura_Warrior:
it’s really good, haha.
He started to type out a reply, but she followed up with more texts before he could.
Luzura_Warrior:
jeez, that look you’re giving is smokin’
Luzura_Warrior:
do you practice that in the mirror or
Luzura_Warrior:
hey wait, who took the picture?
Rulerzreachf4n:
thats not important
Luzura_Warrior:
you actually enlisted somebody’s help to take this for me?
Luzura_Warrior:
I feel so special :3 Rulerzreachf4n:
yeah, yeah, just don’t show it to anyone else alright
Luzura_Warrior:
whuh wait
Luzura_Warrior:
this really was just for me??
Luzura_Warrior:
 so i really AM special :3c
Growing uncomfortable with how perceptive Luz was being, he tried to derail.
Rulerzreachf4n:
I don’t know what that emoji means
Luzura_Warrior:
oh sorry. it’s like…. a kittycat smile? there isn’t really a good official emoji for it.
Rulerzreachf4n:
a cat smile?
He wasn’t sure how a cat could smile and what the heck that would even indicate.
Luzura_Warrior:
yeah it’s like . . .
Luzura_Warrior:
hold on a sec
Luzura_Warrior:
Tumblr media
Luzura_Warrior:
like that!
Hunter studied the picture, which you’d think would help clarify things, but really all it did was confuse the issue even further.
Rulerzreachf4n:
what exactly is that look supposed to mean though
Luzura_Warrior:
:3c hehehehehe
Rulerzreachf4n:
luz that doesnt help
“So does your friend like the picture?”
Hunter jumped in surprise, having entirely forgotten that Steve was even sitting there.
“Uhh.”
His scroll buzzed and spammed him with indecipherable emoji.
Luzura_Warrior:
😏😏 😼😼🦦🦦😈😇
“. . . I think so? Yeah.”
 The rest of patrol was just as stunningly uneventful, so Hunter spent the rest of it walking his route and talking with Steve. Honestly, it wasn’t so terrible a way to finish out the afternoon, which mostly was just letting Steve ramble on about his little brother and his newfound interest in Illusion magic. When Hunter returned to the castle, he had some very boring tasks that included taking stock of some new supplies (again, he found himself wondering if Belos just assigned him duties as mere busywork, but it wasn’t his place to question things). It took him several hours to complete and then he had a cold, unpleasant dinner at the cafeteria, but for some reason, none of it fazed him much, and he spent the whole time humming to himself, a little smile on his face.
When the evening came and he was finally free to return to his room, he gratefully collapsed onto his bed and stuck his face into the nearest book. It was a pleasant diversion for about an hour, and then his scroll buzzed. Eagerly, he grabbed it and found that it was Luz asking if he could help her with a few questions on her Beast Keeping homework. He agreed to help. 
What had started out as just a few questions quickly grew into a much larger discussion.
Luzura_Warrior:
I just am having a hard time because I had no idea there were so many kinds of dragons
Luzura_Warrior:
in the human realm I only really heard of the basic ones
Luzura_Warrior:
not all these weird wingless dragons and the legless dragons and the dragons with only two legs and all that
Rulerzreachf4n:
well they’re not really dragons. 
Luzura_Warrior:
what?? what do you mean.
Rulerzreachf4n:
the common ancestor species is a wyrm, which eventually evolved into lindwyrms and loongs over time. the ones living at higher elevations developed into drakes. and then potentially dragons arose from the drakes. 
Rulerzreachf4n:
they’re all in the wyrm family, though, a dragon is just a kind of wyrm
Luzura_Warrior:
seriously? I thought a wyrm was just . . . a legless and wingless dragon?
Rulerzreachf4n:
no, it’s the other way around. a dragon is a wyrm with legs and wings. 
Luzura_Warrior:
man, this is weird. so what exactly is a wyrm then? 
Rulerzreachf4n:
well, wyrms branch off from the sea serpents because of their scales, regenerative abilities and pyrorespiration. sea serpents of course belonging to the larger family of serpents, which in turn of course branch off from the true worms
Luzura_Warrior:
hold on, slow down a little. not sure if I’m getting you because it seems like you’re saying that . . . dragons evolved from snakes and that snakes evolved from worms?
Rulerzreachf4n:
snakes are a smaller sub-family of serpents, really
Rulerzreachf4n:
but your statement is mostly correct, yeah.
Luzura_Warrior:
snakes evolved from worms??
Rulerzreachf4n:
yeah? didn’t they cover this already?
Rulerzreachf4n:
everything evolved from worms, they’re nature’s ideal form
Luzura_Warrior:
buhhuhuwhaaa? 
Rulerzreachf4n:
you haven’t covered the Great Ancestral Worm yet??
Luzura_Warrior:
um, well. I kind of haven’t had one of the pre-reqs for this class. I begged the teacher to let me take it anyway . . . 
Luzura_Warrior:
but please, I gotta know about anything called ‘the Great Ancestral Worm,’ because this is getting wild
Rulerzreachf4n:
okay, well. 
Rulerzreachf4n:
in the beginning, when the Titan first fell, the first creature to immerge from the decomposing muck was a worm
Rulerzreachf4n:
the Great Ancestral Worm, from which all beasts sprang. the ratworms, the trash slugs, the giraffes, the sea serpents, all that
Rulerzreachf4n:
and from the beasts, branched off the bug demons and the bipedal demons
Rulerzreachf4n:
many bug demons still retaining body forms quite close to the original ancestral worms, but developing sentience alongside the bipedal demons
Rulerzreachf4n:
bipedal demons of course ended up quite distant from the ancestral design, and needed to compensate for it, develop bile sacs for their own magic
Luzura_Warrior:
okay hold on 
Luzura_Warrior:
so you’re saying EVERYTHING is based off worms
Luzura_Warrior:
what about, uhh. echo mice?
Rulerzreachf4n:
they evolved from the ratworms.
Luzura_Warrior:
okay, how about the selkiedomuses.
Rulerzreachf4n:
sea serpents that developed fins and blubber.
Luzura_Warrior:
what about birds??
Rulerzreachf4n:
they came from the wyverns and feathered serpents.
Luzura_Warrior:
there’s feathered serpents too?? oh god
Luzura_Warrior:
this is getting a little overwhelming
Rulerzreachf4n:
let’s just focus on wyrms for now. you said you only needed to know the basic groups for now, right?
Luzura_Warrior:
yeah. yeah, ok.
Rulerzreachf4n:
So we have the Wyrms, and then the Lindwyrms which evolved front limbs to help a little with traction, but still move with a serpentine body motion. And next are the Loongs, with four limbs which can walk awkwardly on land but who mostly prefer to swim or fly. 
Luzura_Warrior:
wait. fly? I thought Loongs don’t have wings?
Rulerzreachf4n:
that’s correct, they don’t.
Luzura_Warrior:
asdgrsrjyyj
Luzura_Warrior:
THEN HOW
Rulerzreachf4n:
they fly via magic. loong’s magic is fairly potent, they also have some control over weather and can shapeshift.
Luzura_Warrior:
oh, right, magic is a thing. haha . . .
Rulerzreachf4n:
next are the drakes
Luzura_Warrior:
those are the wingless dragons! right? they first found them at the knee
Rulerzreachf4n:
well, ‘wingless dragons’ is... not very descriptive. 
Rulerzreachf4n:
but yes, the drakes evolved at higher elevations and had stockier bodies, sturdier limbs that made for good walking and climbing, and stronger fire breath.
Luzura_Warrior:
can THEY magically fly?
Rulerzreachf4n:
that’s a good question! no, the drakes lost the ability to fly, as well as their shapeshifting and weather control
Luzura_Warrior:
okay, gotcha
Rulerzreachf4n:
then we have the dragons, which fly with the help of their leathery wings. and then wyverns
Luzura_Warrior:
hold on a sec one time I heard Hooty say HE’S A WORM
Luzura_Warrior:
does that mean hooty’s a bug demon???
Rulerzreachf4n:
uh… do you mean your house demon?
Luzura_Warrior:
yeah!
Rulerzreachf4n:
yes, house demons are a type of parasitic worm. 
Luzura_Warrior:
holy crap this makes so much sense now. now that I think about it, he was saying something one time about an ancestral worm
Rulerzreachf4n:
uh yeah so, anyway
Luzura_Warrior:
wait did you say PARASITIC??
Luzura_Warrior:
he’s a parasite???
Rulerzreachf4n:
yes, house demons parasitize living houses 
Luzura_Warrior:
I thought hooty WAS the house!!! that’s not his body??
Rulerzreachf4n:
it’s technically not. once a house demon attaches to a house, they gain some control and nerve sensation, but it’s technically their host.
Luzura_Warrior:
oh my god. this is blowing my mind
Rulerzreachf4n:
ok, I think we’re getting a bit off track here
Luzura_Warrior:
right, sorry, sorry
Luzura_Warrior:
back to dragons. I mean, wyrms, back to wyrms and not house worms. I’m listening.
Hunter did his best to get Luz back on track and explain the basic wyrm families, as well as the two competing theories on whether drakes evolved into dragons, or ampitheres evolved into wyverns and then some wyverns developed into dragons. Although Luz was a bit distractable at times and prone to chit-chat, she was also very enthusiastic and seemed genuinely interested in the subject. She also seemed to pick up the information fairly quickly. When they’d finished, she thanked him profusely and said she was going to spend another hour studying to make sure it was solidified in her head for tomorrow’s quiz. He bid her a goodnight and returned to his reading.
He continued to read until it grew very late, at an hour when his mind was very fuzzy and his thoughts were disjointed. He browsed Pentsagram a little, very amused to find Darius had shared his Kikimora meme, and it seemed to be spreading rapidly. He giggled at that for a bit and then his thoughts started to turn slowly along the memories of his day, over the discussions he’d had with Luz. There was a very pleasant feeling that flickered through him as he pondered things, like the bright little embers that popped off a crackling fire. 
When his scroll buzzed, he sleepily picked it up and checked it.
Luzura_Warrior:
hunteeerrrrrr
Luzura_Warrior:
I’m booorrreddddd
He chuckled outloud and typed a response.
Rulerzreachf4n:
thought you were studying
Luzura_Warrior:
yeah it got boring
Luzura_Warrior:
whatre you doin?
Rulerzreachf4n:
well I WAS reading peacefully
Luzura_Warrior:
awhjyyhd why are you even still up it’s like almost 2am
Rulerzreachf4n:
why are YOU still up
Luzura_Warrior:
that’s evading the question, I asked u first
Rulerzreachf4n:
im always up this late
Rulerzreachf4n:
it’s the only time to myself i really get, so. thats why.
Luzura_Warrior:
that makes sense.
Rulerzreachf4n:
k so now you
Luzura_Warrior:
well I was just cramming for the quiz
Luzura_Warrior:
I am bad at time management, I admit it
Luzura_Warrior:
but I’m in bed now like a good girl, I swear
Luzura_Warrior:
see look
A picture popped up, showing a dimmed bedroom. Hunter squinted at it. Luz seemed to be on the floor, sitting inside a strange fabric . . . cocoon? 
Rulerzreachf4n:
what. the heck is that, that’s not a bed.
Luzura_Warrior:
it’s a sleeping bag. 
Rulerzreachf4n:
that doesn’t seem very comfortable.
Luzura_Warrior:
no, it’s okay! it’s not so bad. not as good as a bed, I admit, but eda didn’t have any spare mattresses, so I’ve just been using this.
Rulerzreachf4n:
huh. she should get you a bed.
Luzura_Warrior:
well moneys not exactly pouring in right now
Luzura_Warrior:
I know you probably have a nice fancy bed at the castle but not everyone can be so luxurious, ya know
Hunter frowned, considering his bed and his room.
Rulerzreachf4n:
actually my bed’s really not fancy
Rulerzreachf4n:
or my room. belos gave me quarters that are the same size and furnishings as any other scout
Rulerzreachf4n:
said that i shouldn’t grow soft or complacent
Luzura_Warrior:
oh
Luzura_Warrior:
whoa I didn’t realize that.
Luzura_Warrior:
ok now I’m curious. whats it look like?
Luzura_Warrior:
send me a picture?? 😃
Hunter aimed his scroll, trying to get a shot, then grumbled because it didn’t look like much from his angle. He got out of bed and snapped a photo so she could actually see things.
Luzura_Warrior:
oooh okay, it’s not so bad. seems cozy. that pillowcase looks pretty ratty tho lol
Luzura_Warrior:
oh my god wait, you have a PLUSHIE?? I see that lil head poking out there!
Hunter quickly re-checked the photo, and to his horror, you could in fact see the hot pink head of his goofy little frog plushie sticking out behind a pillow.
Rulerzreachf4n:
please pretend you didnt see that
Luzura_Warrior:
no way, oh my god hunter this is adorable. I love this. you like plushies too!! I wanna get a better look, send me a pic! 😃
Rulerzreachf4n:
no way you’ll just make fun of me
Luzura_Warrior:
no I won’t!! I swear. pleeeeease?? 
Luzura_Warrior:
do you actually sleep with it too? aaaaa thatd be so CUTE
Hunter grunted, dropping back down onto his bed with a defeated sigh. There was no way she was gonna drop this, he knew her well enough by now for that. Gruhhh.
He reached over and pulled the plushie out from behind the pillow. Wrapping an arm around it, he hugged it tight against his chest and aimed the scroll at himself, sticking his tongue out and snapping a photo. 
When he sent it, Luz nearly combusted.
Luzura_Warrior:
saftrrerghewyhrw
Luzura_Warrior:
aaaaaaa  hutner!!!!
Luzura_Warrior:
SO CUTE
Luzura_Warrior:
you giant dork i LOVE it
Luzura_Warrior:
look at youuuu aaaaa!! 😍
Rulerzreachf4n:
you show that to anybody and I will hunt you down
Luzura_Warrior:
hehehehehee
Luzura_Warrior:
hunt me down. cos you’re hunter
Rulerzreachf4n:
yes. you don’t want  that, trust me
Luzura_Warrior:
heeehee, but maybe I do 😉
Hunter’s thoughts halted, stalling at Luz’s text as he struggled to form a coherent response. Fortunately, Luz just continued to ramble.
Luzura_Warrior:
ughh I should get to sleep 
Luzura_Warrior:
i have a really busy day tomorrow
Luzura_Warrior:
all these quizzes and exams at once, I swear the teachers do it on purpose
He had to focus to type out a reply that sounded normal.
Rulerzreachf4n:
yeah, I should sleep too
Luzura_Warrior:
ok you might not hear from me tomorrow until real late, i got a lot going on
Luzura_Warrior:
but i’ll say bye for now!
Rulerzreachf4n:
okay
Luzura_Warrior:
so gnnnighty night for now, my goldie dork boy~~ 😘
Luzura_Warrior:
talk to you later 💖💗💜
Rulerzreachf4n:
bye
Hunter stared dumbly at the scroll for a while after she’d logged off, his fuzzy sleepy thoughts rolling about in his mind like a tangled ball of yarn. Letting the scroll drop down onto his bed, he fell asleep before even bothering to get changed for the night.
66 notes · View notes
canmom · 2 years ago
Note
yesssss, say more about everything everywhere when you can, please!
hehe sure thing anon!
so the first thing to say is, well, evidently this film lived up to the hype for me! I enjoyed it so much that I'm gonna screen it on Tuesday (copyright strike 2 incoming?) alongside some other of Michelle Yeoh's films. but hey, since you asked~ let's talk a little lot about Everything, Everywhere, All At Once!
it was a very, very tightly made film: one of those films where every element comes to reinforce the other elements, from the goofy Daniels physical comedy to the martial arts to the family drama at the centre. and of course the editing was as fantastic as you'd expect; absolutely tight sense of rhythm, excellent clarity in even the most chaotic action scenes.
between this and the Stephen Chow films I saw earlier in the week, it really underlines just how much martial arts and comedy are close siblings. I think the reason for this is well, you need some kind of short-term arc to make sure a fight scene is more than just a monotonous run of hitting each other until someone falls over. there are many sources of this tension. one is of course the ebb and flow of new strategems and small victories that put different characters in more or less advantageous positions (the bread and butter of shōnen). but a joke - the setup and payoff structure - is a perfect fit, just the right size to give a good little arc to a scene, especially when you overlap several in parallel.
so if you get good at combining humour and martial arts, both get stronger: the thrilling execution of the martial arts strengthens the joke, and the joke adds flavour to the punching and kicking. hence the immense success of someone like Jackie Chan.
the other element is well, the long term setup and payoff. this is a classic comedy plot structure; Hot Fuzz is a good example of a film which does it very well, where the first half of film, plenty funny in its own right, is essentially setting up jokes which all come back around in rapid succession during the grand finale.
but here it's a little more, because all the jokes are setup for not just jokes but beats in emotional arcs. I believe one of the Daniels said of the farting in Swiss Army Man "the first fart will make you laugh, the last fart will make you cry"; the idea is the goofy physical comedy comes to become a symbol of the two characters' relationship, so when Manny departs, it's not just a funny farting man but the end of something beautiful and transformative.
this film builds on that structure. in one of the early fight scenes, Evelyn is connecting to all these increasingly absurd universes in order to find powers relevant to the fight. however, every single one of these universes - even the one with the hot dog fingers or the Ratatouille parody - becomes tied in to the emotional climax of the film, in which just about a dozen different story arcs, including ones that seemed at first to be entirely jokes, fire off all at once in one glorious intercut sequence that tie back in to the central thesis.
hmm, does this remind you of anything?
(I'm not even kidding honestly; the narrative preoccupations and sense of humour in this movie are really very very similar to Homestuck. I think this is entirely a matter of independent invention - there are plenty of other stories to tackle the multiverse concept, and from the sounds of things this movie has been cooking for quite a while - but I do think it's funny.)
so one of the things I love about this movie is its willingness to commit to the bit and develop each of these more or less goofy alternate universes into something more than a one-off joke.
ok, so, we adore the execution, what of what it is Saying? on the one hand, this movie is about some high concept scifi ideas - what if modal realism/Everettian many-worlds is true, and it were possible to make contact between branches in a kinda mystical way - but really the central narrative arc is about Evelyn herself and her relationships with her daughter and her husband.
(below: spoilers, and content note for talking about suicide and abusive family relationships, i know, juicy stuff)
Evelyn, played brilliantly by Yeoh, has a lot of unresolved issues, and rather than really deal with them, she tends to deflect, e.g. by attributing her own homophobia to her father, hiding in paperwork and cooking when her husband wants to express any of his own needs; by the time she really catches on it's almost too late to do anything about it and she's all but driven everyone away. not for nothing is the image at the centre of that final sequence a rock diving off a cliff in pursuit of another rock.
one thing I like, on reflection, is that Evelyn, for all the progress she makes, does not solve everything. when she desperately appeals to reconnect to Joy at the end, it's not that she finally fully understands her daughter (even if she's made some big steps on the immediate conflicts like actually accepting that she's a lesbian); she still fusses about things like Joy's weight. but she is at least able to be honest about where this is coming from and actually admit how important Joy is to her, which she hadn't done before. (this whole scene is a callback to a scene earlier in the film where Joy is about to drive away and Evelyn stops her, but doesn't manage to say anything but that she's fat; this time Evelyn actually manages to say what she should have that first time). this change of heart is enough for at least this Joy to decide to stay connected to her mother. we don’t see how their relationship evolves subsequently.
something that this film made me think of is an old essay on here by Kai Cheng Thom (@sintrayda), titled (and I suppose you can imagine why this has come back to me recently) Stop Letting Trans Girls Kill Ourselves. let me quote a couple of paras from that:
the predominant (white, colonial) queer/trans narrative of “proper” consent to being cared for goes something like this: someone expresses that they are in pain, or you happen to see that they are.  you offer them help.  if they refuse, you back off, no questions asked.  any further attempt to help could be a considered a violation.
this narrative holds a lot of resonance for me, but i believe it comes from a traumatized place: it is rooted in queer and trans experiences of abusive families and intimate partnership in which we are not allowed to refuse, we are not allowed to leave. our reaction is to swing the other way in the extreme: we encourage people to leave, we don’t question the refusal of love, even when it is clearly needed.
(...)
more often than not, these parents [of severely traumatised children who said they intended to run away] were concerned and loving but did not know how to respond. they asked me what they should say.  from my own place of both clinical training and queer narratives, i suggested that they tell their children that it was okay to be angry, that they were allowed to be angry, and that if they did indeed run away, that they would always have a home to come back to if they wanted.  i believed that this was consent, was the secure attachment that is so prized in child psychology. 
my supervisor (therapist instructor) agreed with my intervention, but also suggested that i had missed an important element: i should also tell these parents to say that if their child ran away, they would go out and find them and bring them home.
the emotional effect this had on me was profound.  this was not something i had been taught to believe in queer community – that love and care might mean following someone even after they have rejected you.  that it might mean reaching out, and failing, and then reaching out and failing, again and again.
that abandonment and rejection by a person in pain – child or adult – might be way of finding out just how hard someone is going to work to help you not just stay alive, but change your life for the better.
Thom is writing here about an ideological position that discourages intervention when someone is suicidal; one that is still painfully relevant, when your friends are far away and you have to weigh the possibility that calling an ambulance to ‘help’ them could very easily get them beaten and incarcerated. I don’t want to talk about this too much on this post; even though it was too late for my decision to matter for Fall, losing her has made me think of other times I’ve learned someone’s suicide attempt and had to decide whether to risk sending an ambulance.
Anyway, I won’t talk about that more. The more relevant factor is that there is a similar thesis at work in Everything, Everywhere for better or worse. In this case, it’s clearly right. Joy cares a lot about her mother, even though she’s increasingly estranged from her family; it is clearly very important to her that she can bring her girlfriend to the New Year’s party, and she is upset by the fact that she struggles to speak Mandarin as fluently as the older members of the family (the constantly switching languages, blending English and Mandarin even within one sentence, are another brilliant touch, it’s so natural and I’ve never seen that done so well). She just needs Evelyn to meet her halfway; appreciate who she actually is rather than worrying about her turning into Evelyn 2. So in this case, fleeing Evelyn was a way of expressing just how serious the situation was; she would rather not have this connection at all than have it continue in its current form. Evelyn, to her credit, figures it out and they’re able to continue on a better foot.
I am certain there are many cases like this, where the right thing to do may well be to ignore a hard rejection. And yet part of me still finds this idea difficult, perhaps for similar reasons as Thom. Not so much because of a blanket one-time ‘consent’ principle, but more because I feel like a relationship that categorically cannot be terminated is dangerous. An abuser who pursues someone across a country may well believe they’re acting out of love. I don’t think it is a failing of the film to not address such cases.
I suppose I end up thinking about my own life - a scale much less grand than ‘parent and child’ but still actually life and death. Fall spent several months at the beginning of this year keeping me at arm’s length, I was blocked on Discord etc., before we reconnected literally weeks before she died. I missed her, but did little to act on it; my general attitude in such cases is to give a person time if they need to be alone, and not be pushy, to make it clear that whatever relationship we have is something that they can choose to have or not. I don’t think that’s wrong. But how do you even recognise the times when what someone really needs is you to try anyway? Could I have made more effort to reach out to Fall without making things worse for her?
Who else am I failing this way?
Unknowable...
Moreover, are there times when the opposite is true: when I’m just making matters worse attempting to ‘help’ and I should back off, even if the person can’t bring herself to tell me? The short run, the long run... it’s an endless series of tricky high stakes judgement calls which will last until I die.
Which brings us to the other strand of Evelyn and Joy’s arcs and the whole premise of the film. This is the idea of the Everettian branching multiverse being true, and what that means on an emotional level. OK, they don’t actually invoke Everett’s interpretation of quantum mechanics; the film is actually inspired, a long time ago, by the philosophical stance of modal realism, which says that all “possible worlds” are real ‘in the same way that ours is’. What ‘possible’ means in this case is pretty broad, something like ‘logically possible’.
In this film, all the worlds are marked by some earlier or later point of divergence. The premise is that a technology allows you to connect your brain to the brains of ‘you’ in other branches. The actual mechanics are (appropriately) kept vague in service of jokes, broader themes etc.; thus a universe can exist where humans have evolved (somehow) to have floppy hot dog fingers but this world still recognisably contains Evelyn, her laundromat, and the woman from the IRS. And indeed in a universe where life did not evolve, there are two rocks which can nevertheless be recognised as Evelyn and Joy. So yeah it’s not hard sci-fi big deal lol.
Still, the impact of this is the question: if all these possibilities true, why is anything important? The film invokes the Copernican revolution, followed by (implicitly) the development of multiverse theories; Joy’s driving POV is a nihilistic one. She knows she can make anything happen in any world, so all of it loses significance.
Evelyn’s answer is essentially to commit to her relationships with other people. The final sequence of the film is not a fight scene, but (once again blending humour and character drama) Evelyn rapidly solving the emotional problems of a whole series of enemies by discerning exactly what they need using her multiverse powers. The life she returns to is actually the most mundane one: not the one where she’s a movie star but the one ‘this’ Evelyn began in, where she’s running a laundromat and doing taxes. It becomes a form of roleplaying: a framing narrative selected from all the possibilities in which she can enjoy the relationships with the people around her. That sounds dismissive, but I don’t mean it that way. What are ‘actual’ roleplaying games but that, after all?
We don’t get Evelyn’s power in reality, but we do get the power of ‘baseless speculation’, which can be paralysing as well! What if I had studied geology or even art instead of physics, would I have not had that mental health crisis? What if I’d been a better friend or partner to a number of people? Gotten an ADHD diagnosis sooner? What if, what if. The answer is obvious to say, but difficult to feel: those doors are closed and futile, so you can only commit to the possibility that you ended up falling down.
One thing the film kind of dances around, but then again maybe not really, is the fact that all the good choices that Evelyn makes at the end of the film, there is presumably a universe where she didn’t do that. A branch where Joy drove away, they never catch up to the raccoon, Evelyn’s rock stays on top of the cliff.
This is the problem of that old transhumanist cult leader Eliezer Yudkowsky’s attempt to draw out the ethical implications of Everett’s interpretation of quantum mechanics. He says, you must be very careful, because each small probability of something going wrong is an uncountable number of branches where it results in death and suffering. The problem is that any ‘decision’ you make is also subject to branching. There’s a universe where you talk Eliezer’s advice to heart and always wear a bike helmet, saving some billion versions of you from spinal injury; there’s also a branch where you don’t do that, so the spinal injuries happen anyway. Even if Eliezer’s essay reduces the proportion of death in some portion of universes, it’s matched by equally many where he didn’t write it. In short, it implies nothing at all.
This film, however, is much more focused on the personal experience than matters of ethics, and so perhaps it dodges this bullet. Having linked herself to all these possible universes, Evelyn chooses to subjectively experience the one where things go well for her and the people around her, rather than to give up and throw herself into a black hole everything bagel like her daughter attempts.
When I watched The Matrix Resurrections, which was a very frustrating and disappointing movie in general, one of the things that got at me was the lack of imagination of the ending. Having at last managed to escape the yoke of the Machines and make themselves gods of a virtual realm, Neo and Trinity don’t really do much to change the nature of their reality. But this doesn’t really bother me so much in this film. And sure, for one thing, of course, the fully ‘ascended’ Evelyn and Joy are not ‘really’ gods, since presumably any intervention they make is just another branching of the universe (though this isn’t really raised in the film). But more than that, it’s not relevant to the metaphor.
I feel like the connecting/dividing link is perhaps the view of Kyōsogiga, that one should not be afraid to ‘just be’: affirming the significance of those small moments and relationships. Evelyn, ADHDful as she is, figures out in the end that what matters to her is not all these projects that she has pursued or one time or another, but just taking time to enjoy these intersubjective connections. Which can certainly stand to be said again and again because I don’t really think I’ve internalised it lol.
All in all, fucking great movie, the Daniels outdid themselves, as did all the choreographers and cinematographers and actors and so forth involved. Can’t believe how long I slept on those guys.
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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago
Text
Star Wars AU #20: MacenJar AU
Inspired by this meme and with permission from @simpskywalker
This au is dedicated to everyone who told me that this concept ‘gave them a headache’ or ‘psychic damage’. Especially that special someone who begged me to ‘please stop’ because ‘i hate this, i hate this so much’ and told me ‘please don’t say more words about this.’
Crack Lies Ahead, enough to consume a man. I have spoken.
“Ani. Ani. Anakin Skywalker.”
“Hmm?” The dulcet sounds of Padme calling his name dragged Anakin from sleep against his will. 
“Anakin, you have to get up.”
He groaned, rolling over. “...here’s my face...I’ll...be awake in a second...just sit down...I’m awake...”
“No, Anakin you have to leave, remember. You have a 5 AM take-off scheduled, and you made me promise I would get you up early this time, come on.”
She cruelly yanked the covers away. He gasped in betrayal. 
“My own wife...how could you.”
“Anakin if you’re not out of bed in the next 30 seconds the next time you beg to stay the night because ‘you can get up early, you swear’ I am kicking you out before anyone sits anywhere near anyone’s face, do you understand.”
He sat bolt upright and stumbled out of bed. “Ok, Ok, I’m up I- Padme!”
“Yes?” She asked sweetly, brushing her hair at the vanity. 
“It’s 3 AM!”
“Yes I know, you were going to stop at that bakery I recommended, remember?”
“You woke me up an hour and half early so I could stop at a bakery,” he asked, disbelieving.
“Yes, Anakin, it was your idea. It was going to be your cover, in case anyone wondered what you were doing in the building.”
“That is-” before he could call it the stupidest idea he had ever heard, the memory of promising Padme that staying the night was a good idea because it would facilitate his cunning ruse (he was distracted, ok? Padme was wearing a lot of layers) came rushing back.
“-right,” he finished lamely.
Padme just hummed and began braiding in her cosmetic forcefields. 
Anakin managed to stretch, complete his morning refresher run, and arrange his robes in a suitably decorous fashion by the time Padme had established the base layer of her hairstyle for the day.
A quick kiss- no goodbye, it hurt too much to say goodbyes in war - and Anakin was out the door. 
He idly scratched his chin, vacantly looking out the lift and vaguely considering growing a beard. The pre-dawn view was quickly replaced by metal walls as the ride dropped below the skyline.
The transparisteel pod began to slow scarcely one third of the way down. Anakin suppressed a groan and tried to arrange his expression in Jedi-stoic manner, hoping that whoever got in the lift with him would be too intimidated by seeing a Jedi close-up to think about what they were doing in a Senatorial Apartment building at 3:15 in the morning. If they ask, I’m visiting the famous Bebbisun Bakery. Bennison? BELLASAN. I’m visiting the Bellasan Bakery.
Actually, anyone getting into the elevator this early was probably also doing the walk of shame so it’s probably fi-KRIFFING SITH SPIT THAT’S
“Master Windu!” Anakin cleared his throat, trying to lower his voice an octave. “Good- Good Morning!”
Windu’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “Ah. Knight Skywalker. Good morning to you as well,” he replied, stepping in the elevator, doors closing behind.
The lift descended as Anakin’s heart rate skyrocketed. This was it. Windu had to be here for Anakin. What other possible explanation could there be? WHY WASN’T HE SAYING ANYTHING?
Wait.
What other possible explanation...could...why wasn’t he saying ANYTHING?
Anakin scrutinized Master Windu out of the corner of his eye. Were those...the same robes he was wearing yesterday? They looked like the same robes but then again...pretty much all robes looked the same so this was probably a stupid way to figure things out. Fuck, it was too early for this.
Unsurprisingly, he couldn’t get a sense of the Master’s surface emotions. But his underlying aura seemed...happy? Typically Windu's serene presence had a tinge of righteous fury (something that had frightened him back when he was a child). But now that ever present vaapad edge was... softened? Anakin wracked his tired brain for a more reasonable explanation than- than the obvious but obviously impossible. He had to projecting. Right? Then again...couplings weren’t forbidden (even if Anakin couldn’t quite understand how people enjoyed just- having sex without any attachment).
The corners of Anakin’s lips twitched. The Master of the Order. Getting laid. Master Windu. In the Senatorial apartments. Mace Windu. What level had he gotten on? Above aides...diplomats probably. Should he ask? Force, this was too good- he couldn’t not ask.
Windu stared at him cooly and the knight instantly sobered. What was he thinking? Windu was obviously trying to trick him! If he said anything, Windu would turn it against him! Well, he wouldn’t be fooled so easily. Anakin spent the next several levels of descent staring forward, determined not to be the one to break the silence. 
He was so focused that he didn’t notice the lift slowing prematurely again until the doors opened; an elderly Rodian hobbled in. The two Jedi moved even further apart to allow the man some space.  The lift closed and newcomer glanced at the humans curiously. 
“Aren’t you Jedi? What are two Jedi doing here so early?”
“Bakery,” Mace and Anakin responded in unison, heads snapping to stare at the other in surprise.
The Rodian chuckled. “Oh, that Bellasan place, right?”
“Yes,” Windu replied smoothly. “They have a famously unique caf blend.”
“And you can’t get Sweesonberry rolls anywhere else,” Anakin added quickly, not letting the opportunity to firm up his cover go to waste.
“You mammals and your carbohydrates,” The elderly reptilian clucked, bemused.
Knight Skywalker and Master Windu exchanged wary looks. The door pinged open on level 4848. 
“Enjoy!” the overly entertained Rodian called out as they stepped out from the closing doors.
Anakin cleared his throat. “After you, Master Windu,” he said politely. CHECKMATE FUCKER.
But Windu just nodded serenely, striding confidently ahead, past the checkpoints and into the attached upper-crust market. After a very short walk, Anakin found himself in line behind Mace Windu at a pastry shop in the basement of his wife’s apartment building.
Anakin blearily thought that sentence through again, then subtly pinched the inside of his arm.
Nope, he was awake.
Every second that passed Anakin had to fight the steadily increasing urge to blurt out something stupid, and possibly incriminating, if not both. Just say something bland! Nothing about why they’re both here so early. Nothing about coming here before. Something casual.
“Smells good,” Anakin said.
Nailed it!
“Indeed,” Mace replied.
I’m a genius! He actually thinks I’m here for the bakery! He’s never going to suspect a thing! He was probably here for some boring pre-dawn meeting, and now I’ve got the perfect excuse to come visit Padme whenever! I can probably start sneaking off more often, I’ve just got to remember to bring back a pasty or something. And he can’t even say shit about un-Jedi like consumption!
“Skywalker-”
Oh no. Please be about the bakery. Pleasebeaboutthe
“Believe me when I tell you that I’d rather not ask-”
Oh NO. THIS ISN’T GOING TO BE ABOUT THE BAKERY. I’M AN IDIOT.
“-But did you fly here in a temple speeder?”
Cold sweat started to trickle down Anakin’s back as they shuffled forward automatically in the surprisingly long queue. Guess that’s why Padme woke me up so early.
“Knight Skywalker? Did you hear me?”
“Yes, Master Windu, sorry- I was, uh, distracted by the specials board. I, um, have my own hoverbike. Built it myself. No temple resources involved.”
“Sounds...distinctive.” Windu’s tone seemed neutral, but the way he pinched the bridge of his nose was obviously irritated. They stepped forward again. Why are so many people at this bakery so early? Guess we’re far enough down that day/night cycles don’t matter so much. Oh kriff, he’s massaging his temples now. Why is he mad about the bike? Is he going to ask where I landed it? Fuck.
Anakin swallowed the lump in his throat. “I- I thought it would be better to take personal property. Since this isn’t exactly order business.”
“That’s very responsible of you. Such...separation of personal from professional is an important skill for a Jedi.” 
The trickle of sweat down his spine increased. The Chosen One discretely wiped his sweaty palms on the inside of his sleeves and prayed that his outer robe was hiding any growing pit stains. 
Are we...actually talking about this? Is he going to admit to having an affair? Is he going to tell me to keep this quiet? I CAN BARELY KEEP MY OWN RELATIONSHIP SECRET! Does he know about Padme? Does he know we’re married? Is this conversation still about the bakery visit? Is HE married?
“However...such a vehicle might not be the most discrete. And discretion is also an important skill.”
Is he giving me permission to use the temple landspeeders to visit padme? Is he telling me to take the bus? WAIT! IS THIS A METAPHOR? Is he telling me to come here less? Is this still about the bakery? Did I actually check that I wasn’t still asleep or did I just dream that I checked?
“Do you understand, Knight Skywalker”
“I- uhh. I mean- well, ummm- OH look, it’s your turn to order!”
Master Windu stepped up to the counter. 
“Hello, again! Same as last time?”
OH FORCE GODS HE’S A REGULAR. THIS IS IT. I’M NEVER GOING TO GET TO SEE OBI-WAN OR ASHOKA AGAIN AND PADME’S CAREER IS GOING TO BE RUINED AND
“The same blend please, but please add on one of your Sweesonberry rolls- a friend recommended them.”
...Did Mace Windu just call me his friend?
“Excellent choice! Your friend has good taste!”
Mace Windu stepped to the side and Anakin Skywalker stepped up. “...I’ll have what he had.” 
A minute or two later, they were walking back to the lift, matching disposamugs and flimsibags in hand. 
To try and delay the inevitable, the pale and now very sweaty young Jedi took a sip of caf. He raised both brows involuntary. “This is...really good. Holy kriff. I don’t usually drink caf for the flavor but...wow.”
“Worth the trip?” Windu asked. Anakin choked a little but successfully managed to swallow. He took another sip to avoid answering. 
Windu took a bite of his roll, making a small noise of appreciation, “The pastry is also excellent. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth but this is remarkably smooth...I can’t say I’ve ever had anything quite like it.”
“Floral, right?” Anakin said, grinning into his cup. 
“Yes, that’s a good description.” Ha! I told Padme I was paying attention.
They drank companionably as the lift indicator dinged closer. 
“Skywalker...you’re parked on 4970, right?”
The knight nodded, too afraid to speak. The force seemed to swirl at the precipice of something. 
The Master sighed. “Look- I’ve got an unregistered van- this one time only, stow the speeder, and I’ll give you a ride back. If you’re visiting the bakery in the future- please take something with a closed cab. Last thing we need is the tabloids wondering where you’re going...”
Anakin nodded again, more eagerly again. He was practically being given permission to visit Padme! That was totally worth an excruciatingly awkward flight back to the temple! He just had to chew slowly so he couldn’t blurt out anything marriage related! He was a genius!
The lift opened.
“Jar-Jar!” Anakin said, surprised and pleased. “Wow, are you also here for the bakery? This place really is popular!”
“Ani! Little Ani! Wassa you doin here?” Jar-Jar looked around wildly, then stumbled out, foot catching at the gap. Windu darted forward and effortlessly saved the Gungan before he hit the floor, while Anakin stuck his arm forward to catch the closing door.
“Bakery, Jar Jar!” he said as he stepped inside. “I’d love to talk, but we’ve actually got to get back to the temple!”
Windu struggled to untangle himself from Jar-Jar, who was being particularly unhelpful about it, even for him. Wow he’s even clingier than usual this early in the morning. It’s nice how patient Master Windu is being; I feel like even Obi-Wan can be too hard on Jar-Jar sometimes.
“Actually Skywalker, why don’t you go on ahead and stow the bike- I just remembered I meant to pick something up for Council; I won’t take long.”
“Uh. Alright,” Anakin said, catching the keys. I guess I can’t really be late if I arrive with Master Windu.
“Ossa no!” Jar-Jar exclaimed sadly. “I was justa saying to Macey lassa night thatsa I missed talkin wit little Ani!”
Anakin smiled reassuringly as the lift began to close. “Don’t worry Jar-Jar! We’ll- catch uh-HOLD ON did you say LAST NIGHT?!”
Mace’s eyes closed in resignation as the door shut on the pair, Jar-Jar still tangled around the Jedi.
AND MACE WASN’T EVEN TRYING TO PUT HIM BACK UPRIGHT ANYMORE HOLY KRIFF JUST PUT THAT TOGETHER.
Anakin stared blankly at the metal walls as they rushed past. The lone Jedi Knight took a long sip of caff, then carefully placed the pastry bag and drink on the floor. He systematically wadded up the sleeve of his robe and shoved in his mouth. He then spent the next few minutes squealing with unholy glee while literally bouncing off the walls in a manner only accessible to a force sensitive in an elevator. He was still panting slightly when the lift opened on the primary parking level.
We can double date! Padme and I can host! I can help Mace and Jar-Jar plan their wedding! We can reform the order to allow for romantic love! I can be Jar-Jar’s best man! Padme and I can have another ceremony and Obi-Wan can give me away while Mace officiates and  and then we’ll all have sweesonbury cake and Jar-Jar can help teach our kids how to swim! 
With those dreamy thoughts running through his mind, it was child’s work to follow the the force to the unremarkable hovervan. He was humming to himself when Master Windu opened the door. 
He beamed at the older Jedi. Windu scowled in reply. Anakin smiled wider, unintimidated. He genuinely liked the Gungan, but anyone who could spend hours with Jar-Jar had to have a soft side.
“You know, Jar-Jar is a long time friend of Senator-”
“No.” Windu cut the eager words brusquely. 
Anakin shrank back, a little hurt.
(Maybe a lot hurt.)
Mace glanced over at the obviously crestfallen young General and sighed before amending his words.
“Not- Not right now, alright? Maybe if you’re miraculously more discrete about this than you are about your affection for Senator Amidala, then we can talk, understood?”
Anakin nodded with absolute determination, glimmering images of fairytale weddings visible once more. Distant, perhaps- but the chance was worth any amount of tongue biting. Now that there was a real, possible future where he could have it all, now that he knew Windu had a heart somewhere under his robes- he could be patient. 
He could be very patient.
Anakin calmed his grin down to a smaller, more Jedi-like smile, taking a sip of the cool but still really good caf. He channeled Obi-Wan’s most neutral diplomatic grace.
“Thank you for the ride, Master Windu. I appreciate it.”
Windu gave him an approving glance. “You’re more than welcome, Knight Skywalker.”
Feeling bold, he continued on with his best non-mocking impression of Obi-Wan.
"Have you had a chance to read the latest report on helmet redesigns? I think they might really improve peripheral vision without compromising concussive resistance.”
Mace hummed thoughtfully. “I have. I’m somewhat concerned about deploying such a radical change mid-campaign. Even better gear requires an adjustment period, and I’d rather minimize needless deaths while the troops readjust to hud flow.”
“Yes, that’s a reasonable concern, I was talking to Captain Rex-”
They spent the remainder of the flight chatting comfortably about troop safety and absentmindedly eating (or possibly stress eating in response to the prolonged absence of interpersonal conflict) the box of pastries Mace had picked up. When they arrived at the temple, they divvied up the remainder between them, quietly agreeing that there weren’t enough to share anyway. 
They continued their conversation, Master Windu accompanying him to the orbital loading bay. 
Obi-Wan rushed over in alarm at the sight of them approaching. “Anakin, there you are- I was starting to wonder if you’d make it. Terribly sorry Master Windu- I hope he wasn’t too much of a bother-”
“He’s not your padawan anymore, you don’t have to apologize for him. Though I do appreciate the reflex.”
“I suppose the concern isn’t completely baseless.” Anakin said, tone deliberately mildly. Mace chuckled slightly and Obi-Wan took a step back, slightly frightened by the sudden camaraderie. Anakin pretended to take a sip from his now empty disposamug to avoid fist pumping the air or cheering.
“I- Yes well- the important thing is you’re here in time for departure. What- what is that in the bag.”
Moment of Truth. Don’t freak out. Focus. Prove you can be discrete, THEN double dates, THEN Jedi Wedding Ceremony.
“Sweesonbury Roll,” Anakin answered placidly. He pretended to take another sip of caf. “Master Windu was kind enough to give me a ride from the bakery.”
“That’s- I’m sorry, what?” Anakin bit the inside of cheek to keep himself from reacting to Obi-Wan’s palpable bewilderment.
“I had to double back and get more, but we came straight here after,” Mace added helpfully, with zero hint of intentional mischief. “Oh and Skywalker- you can call me Mace if we’re not discussing temple business.”
Anakin SCREAMED (internally, of course). Outwardly, he simply bowed politely. “And you’re welcome to call me Anakin, of course.”
He deliberately avoided looking directly at Obi-Wan, his former Master’s bug-eyed reaction already pushing him to the edge, even just visible as it was out of the corner of his eye.
Windu nodded in return. “Safe travels you two. May the force with you.”
“And with you.” Anakin replied.
“May the force be with you,” Obi-Wan rushed to say, after a short delay.
Master Windu turned and exited the cargo bay doors. Anakin threw out the mug in a nearby bin, pulling out a roll and biting into it before turning to face Obi-Wan. They made eye-contact, each waiting for the other to break first. Usually that would be Anakin, but he had goals now. The Knight chewed. His Master’s eyes narrowed. The older man (who may have aged significantly in the last 5 minutes) finally broke.
“Who are you?”
Anakin just sighed, maintaining the Kenobi impression. “Come on Master, we don’t want to keep the troops waiting.” With that, he walked forward, hiding his smile as Obi-Wan followed closely at his heels. 
“Since when does my apprentice visit bakeries with Mace Windu?” Obi-Wan asked, almost desperately.
“You’re making it sound like a bigger deal than it is.” 
Master Kenobi sputtered as the pair opened the airlock for the short-range shuttle. 
Anakin mustered up an earnest smile. “Master? Would you mind flying- I’m still eating and-”
Obi-Wan made an incoherent noise of horrified outrage before fumbling for his communicator. 
“What are you doing?”
“NOTHING IS MAKING SENSE RIGHT NOW. EITHER YOU AND MACE NEED TO GO TO THE HEALING HALLS OR I DO!”
Anakin burst out laughing. “Relax Obi-Wan, I’m messing with you, holy shit. Obviously I’m flying.”
Obi-Wan slumped into the co-pilot seat, rubbing at his eyes. “Don’t do that Anakin! My nerves are stretched thin enough by the war as it is-”
“Sorry, Sorry!”
They strapped in and took off, Anakin still chuckling occasionally, Obi-Wan scowling in irritation each time. 
They ascended above the towering skyline alongside the first rays of sunlight.
“So you didn’t go to a bakery with Master Windu this morning?”
“Uhh-”
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finelinevogue · 3 years ago
Note
I know you’re on break but just and idea could be writing more about busker!Harry! I absolutely adore him plus the idea of him being signed is amazing. Even though he gets signed I feel like he would still play on the street to thank them for helping him etc.
yes we love busker!harry here! he’s such a soft little bean who loves no one more than you <3 ok here we go, hope it’s alright;
Smiles.
That’s all you take from each day after Harry’s performed his set on the streets of familiar Manchester. As much as you love the music Harry plays and the money that comes as a benefit of how well he does it, nothing quite makes your heart warm than the smiles of the people.
Whether there’s a passing group of teenage school girls who giggle to each other. Whether it’s a couple of men walking from one business meeting to another. Whether it’s just one man and his suitcase making a hurried dash for his train. Whether it’s an old woman on her way home from getting her weekly butchers meat. Or whether it was a baby in a pram not having a single clue what was going on. No matter who it was, they could never pass Harry with a smile. He smiled back, always. Harry would pause his singing to thank anyone who threw coppers in his beaten guitar case. He was genuine and that’s what people loved about him.
Even after he’d been signed to a huge record label, he stayed the exact same down-to-earth humble man you’d always known him to be. Fame and success didn’t change him. You both still lived in the same house. You both still shopped in Aldi. You both budgeted your weeks out, regardless of the thousands that were now racking up in various bank accounts. And Harry still stood in the street, almost every day, singing his heart out to his people. To the old lady, to the baby, to the passing workmen and teenagers. He was the same chipper guy he had been all those years ago and no fame was going to change that.
Just like now was another example of all this.
He’s just finished his 12th song of the day, “I’m Yours’ by Jason Mraz and a woman was trying to get him to take the £20 note she was offering.
“Ma’am please I can’t accept this, it’s too much.”
“Don’t be daft! You played so well and it’s made my day and so i’d like to gift you thanks.” She argued back and really Harry was in a losing battle. If he accepted it he would feel terrible that he’s allowed a woman to give him £20, but if he didn’t accept it he would look ungrateful and unaccepting.
“I appreciate your kind gesture, but it’s really too much.” He smiled kindly, hoping his good smirk would charm her off.
You were stood close by, watching the interaction. You were internally laughing to yourself, because although most people would never pass up the opportunity for money, let alone twenty quid, your Harry wasn’t most people. He was a respectful man, who loved playing music above anything else. Okay, well, he loved you only slightly more than that - but you were okay with that. You envied that he had a passion as harsh as music. It was enticing to see him get lost within 7 lettered notes.
“Chuffin’ take it Harry!” The woman dangled it in front of Harry and he laughed at her eagerness. You laughed too, until you weren’t.
It happened so quickly that you didn’t realise anything had happened until you’d felt a pain in your lower back and arse. “Shit!” You grunted as you landed on your hands, them scraping ever so slightly on the cold gravel street - that was most likely covered in Pigeon shit and chewing gum.
The woman gasped and Harry had sprinted off before you could even pick yourself back up. You looked over your shoulder, still sat on the floor, to see Harry chasing after some man who had stolen the £20 from the woman’s hand. Oh. The thief didn’t have a chance against your Harry though. He may look cute and cuddly on a good day, but when something bad happens to him or the people he loves he’s a completely different person. He gets all protective and angry. You loved that he had this side to him, but you did prefer his soft side a lot more.
“Oh dear, are you alright pet?” The woman asked, leaning over you worriedly.
“Y-yeah.” You stammered out as your turned to look at her, feeling slightly winded.
“Are you hurt?”
“I don’t think so.” You brought your hands up to examine and saw they were cut only slightly, but mostly just covered in gravel. You dusted your hands off on your jeans and stood up, with the help of a random man and this woman.
“Up ya get, there ya go love.” The man spoke and you thanked him briefly, turning to see whether you could see Harry at all within the crowds of the busy Manchester streets. You sighed in relief when you saw him on his way back to you, guitar swung around on his back.
The woman walked closer to him first as she caught sight of him waving the £20 in the air in victory. You had a few tears in your eyes at the sight of him being so proud of himself, but also hearing onlookers cheering for him. He might’ve got cheers from audiences, big audiences, before but nothing compared to a noble community clap. Harry embraced the friendly woman in a hug and she spoke loud enough so you could hear them both.
“Now you really deserve that £20. Keep it, please.” She begged and Harry gave a side smirk and nodded his head in agreement. He had worked for this, he thought, and he knew just what he was going to do with the money - which in turn, brought his focus back to you.
He thanked people as he weaved his way closer to you, excusing himself so politely. He lifted his notorious busking cap so he could see you better and furrowed his eyebrows in frustration when he remembered how forcefully that thief had pushed you over in order to run off. “Swear to me you’re okay.” He said, knowing you hated being made a fuss of - especially in public.
“I swear.” You smiled at him, allowing him to grasp your hands and kiss his lips all over them, not stopping until not one spot had been left untouched.
“C’mon, let’s finish early today.” He didn’t say it as a question, meaning it was a command and he was ready to leave the city streets for the day.
“Wha— why? And go where?” You stumbled over your words, watching as he started to mess around with his equipment to put it all away.
“Well i’ve got £20 to spend, but apart from that it’s your choice.” He offered, securing his guitar in his case and putting the amplifier and microphone in their cases which you’d carry back to the car - which was, unfortunately, a fifteen minute walk up a hill, but you didn’t mind because you got to do it with Harry. Your other heart.
“Hmm,” you pondered as he packed. Normally you helped but today he wouldn’t let you because of your sore hands and back, “how about we stop off at Tescos and grab a bottle of wine to drink between us, whilst we watch that new crime documentary in the comfort of our bed?” Harry stopped what he was doing to look at you indefinitely.
“This is why I love you Y/N.” He walked over to you and kissed your lips as passionately as he could. He cupped your cheeks and stroked his thumbs against your soft skin. As soon as his lips touched yours, time froze and you were all his for however long he wanted you. You felt his raw emotions bounce off him and he could no doubt feel all of yours.
It was plain and simply, love.
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imxeracus · 4 years ago
Text
From Now On
Ok y’all, this is super long hahahahha I’m so sorry. Happy Gruvia Week 2021!! Here’s my contribution and I’m sorry but I don’t think I have the time to do more but I hope you guys like it anyway. I hope its not too OOC and if FT had more romance elements I believe this would be possible. Enjoy!
--------------------------- Gray tousled his hair and fidgeted around the entrance, feeling nervous about the day when it was only about 10 o’clock in the morning. Today, he told himself that he had to make sure things went well and most of all, to not take off any of his clothes subconsciously. For an ice mage, ironically he could not seem to get himself to calm down and stay cool about this. Regarding his first official date with Juvia, that is.
The 100 Years Quest was over and as promised, he spoke to Juvia about their relationship and how he was finally good enough for her. Despite the water mage’s disagreement to his initial beliefs and reasoning, she was elated that Gray formally addressed their feelings for each other. Furthermore, he initiated that they ought to have a proper first date that weekend itself.
He clicked his tongue briefly and frowned upon himself as he began to manifest in some thoughts to keep himself together. Why are you getting all nervous for! He ponders, his hands getting a little clammy in his pockets. Aren’t you the Gray Fullbuster, who bravely puts himself out for others and save the world countless times?
”Gray-sama?”
Before he could go on any further, a cute slivery voice interrupted his train of thought. Miserably trying to keep his cool, he spun around eagerly and was met with sapphire eyes that gave off a different vibe from her usual self. The said bluenette had her locks half tied and wore an off-shoulder dress that was not too revealing, similar to her nature. Accompanied with her outfit was a pair of kitten heels, some accessories and a subtle blush adorning her cheeks.
”Juvia is sorry for making you wait.”
For the majority, her outfit is considered simple and chic but for today, Gray thought she looked really, really good. Dammit, he gulped loudly as he felt his cheeks started to blush already at the sight of her. He knew that the water user was attractive, but it was beginning to sink in that he is now calling this beautiful person his. “Ah—um—” Gray fumbled and looked away, trying his best to hide the redness. “Shall we get going?” She simply smiled, gave a small chuckle and placed her left hand gently on his right arm (as if he could take more), indicating him to proceed to their destination. On their first date, Fullbuster had planned to go and visit the aquarium—because the water reminds him of Juvia, but he is never going to admit it—which was not too far off from where they were. It was a good walking distance, and they had a nice peaceful time on the way there. Despite saying that, he was worried as it did not seem natural for the bluenette to stay silent. Especially today, he expected her to be more excited and be all over him. As they arrive at the aquarium, Gray went over to the counter and bought a pair of tickets and made his way back to the front, where Juvia was waiting for him. As he carefully observed the water mage from a distance, he could see that she was looking down with an expression he could not seem to grasp. ”Juvia.” Surprised, she looked up hastily to see Gray back by her side. ”Is everything alright?” ”Juvia’s fine!” She exclaimed, quick to lighten up the mood. “She’s just... a little excited—as in, we’ve never done this before—but Juvia’s really happy!” She glanced at him timidly. “Also, Gray-sama looks dashing today.” For once with the determination of not stripping everything off, the ice mage did make the effort to dress well in a brown coat paired with a t-shirt and jeans. Albeit reddening slightly at her remark, he was more concerned on the fact she seemed to not be telling the truth. Here he was, blessed to have her despite all those years of constantly avoiding her advances—and now, when she is distressed, she was still keeping herself together to not worry him. His gaze soften as the guilt was slowly crept up inside him. Despite that, the said man tried to push the matter aside for the time being and wanted to make sure the day goes well. As of now, he knew that he needed to push himself more and step up his game. Once again, her eyes met with his onyx ones as he spoke quickly. “You.. you look good, too.” Juvia’s pupils dilated while Gray blushed furiously, frowning at how embarrassed he was over such a simple statement. It was a start, at least. He also noted on how she seemed to be elated from it. Before she could ask anything else, he took her hand in his and brought them into the aquarium. He could tell people were staring as the both of them were rather known after all they have done in Fiore, but screw it. Gray decided that it was not going to get in the way of his pride today if it could. Thankfully, the ice mage started to loosen up as Juvia gleefully looked at all the sea creatures that were present. When her beloved mentioned about this place, she gladly agreed because this place was known for breeding imported fishes outside of Fiore. The water woman, being part of the sea and occasionally swimming in it, found joy learning the names and characteristics of the animals she meets in the ocean.  “So these are angelfishes!” she exclaimed to Gray, as she lightly tapped on his shoulder while pointing at the said creature. “Juvia always sees them if she takes a dive into the ocean.” “Hmm,” Gray mused, acting disinterested. “What else do you normally see?” "Juvia’s seen all of these underwater because in this tank, all of them are common sea fishes.” “Isn’t that a bore?” The ice mage rolled his eyes. “We should go see something you don’t normally see—that’s what this place is for.” He smoothly took her hand in his and brought her along. Meanwhile, Juvia lightly blushes as she realised that this incident—Gray initiating the hand holding—has been happening a few times already. Every time she releases his grasp to point or walk towards a destination, the brunet would eventually put them back together again. She glanced at Gray who seemed to pay no mind to the matter as they visited the different tanks and places of the aquarium. Indeed, the bluenette was not complaining but a little taken aback. Is this suppose to be normal? She thought, as her imagination continued to spiral on. The smooth and sly Gray-sama was taking a little too much for her to handle—even from before! Eventually, her legs gave way and she started to lose her balance. Quickly, she placed her hand on the wall for balance which caused her footsteps to come to a halt and the ice mage to notice her situation. “Juvia!” He held her arms by the sides and shook her slightly in worry. “I’m right earlier, aren’t I? You really weren’t feeling good?” “Gray-sama...” He raised a brow in question. “Yes?” Juvia took a quick glance back at him before she burst into tears. “Gray-sama is too gentlemanly and sly today!” She wailed, half in distress and in joy. “First, he chooses to dress up and pick Juvia up at her place. Secondly, he complimented her outfit she took hours to decide and still felt it wasn’t good enough!” “Lastly, Juvia didn’t want to bother him and occasionally walks on her own, but Gray-sama keeps coming back, holding her hands gently and she’s too happy that she can’t walk straight anymore!” Full of emotions, she tried to control her tears as she quickly wiped some of it away. “Juvia’s not used to it Gray-sama. You’re being too nice and cool!” At this he flushed hard, did he really hold her hand so often? “Oi!” He panicked, his cheeks continue to redden in embarrassment at her bold statements of him. “D-don’t make sure a big deal out of it. I mean—like—just calm down!” With her loud voice, the people nearby saw and heard the context of the incident and lightly chuckled in amusement which caused Gray to be conscious with their surroundings and it made him uncomfortable. He quickly took her to an area with minimal crowd and dimmed lights to spare them from all the attention. He sat Juvia down on the nearby bench in hopes to calm her down as she sniffed softly. The ice mage took a moment to stare at the bluenette who was being all worked up earlier on. Gray’s eyebrows furrowed as he run his hand through his hair in exasperation before he sat down next to her. “Here,” A cold can drink grazed upon Juvia’s cheek gently. “Drink this.” She took it with gratitude and managed a few sips, a troubled look appearing on her features as she noticed her beloved looking away—clearly upset. The water mage frowned and looked down, tightening her hold on the can drink as she quickly apologises. “Juvia is sorry, Gray-sama. She should’ve known better than to embarrass Gray-sama in public,” Surprised at herself, she started to fumble. “Gray-sama doesn’t like attention and Juvia failed to see it. Juvia shouldn’t have been so swamped at her own giddiness, Juvia was too–” “Stop it,” Gray clicked his tongue in annoyance, his bangs covering his eyes. “You make me sound like a terrible boyfriend.” “Juvia didn’t mean—eh?” It took a moment before she realised what Gray has declared and took a small peak at him. “Did Gray-sama just say ‘boyfriend’?” “Aren’t I?” “Juvia didn’t expect you to say that out...” He scratched his neck nervously, his eyes looking away. “I mean.. I promised you didn’t I? I’m going to become a man good enough for you. If I can’t even say that out, I’m worse than flamebrain.” As much as she was feeling touched, she couldn’t help but worry. “Juvia doesn’t want to force you to change, Gray-sama.” “I’m not forcing myself.” “But Gray-sama kept forcing himself to make sure that we held hands—” “Because I wanted to!” Pupils dilated once again as she was struck with confusion. Fullbuster, flushed and embarrassed at what he just blurted out, grew annoyed at her denseness and tousled his hair once more before speaking up. “Dammit woman, why are you making me say all these sappy shit...” “Look,” He sighed before looking back at her once again, determined. “Every time we hold hands, I always try to play it cool but damn—it’s stupid to say this as a grown man but I get so nervous and happy about it. I kept wanting you close to me....” Gray felt annoyed at his frenzied heart as he continued to speak his feelings aloud. “I really want to be better for you, Juvia. I don’t want you to always make it easy for me. I want to return the favour back as much as I can.”  Before he went on, the ice mage narrowed his eyes in dismay and looked away as he gripped his knuckles tightly. “But this whole time, I kept making you cry and get upset. Even now, I don’t even know how to make you feel better when you’re always here for me previously. Instead, I chose to take us somewhere else and frown about it because I was a coward.... I’m sorry.” The ice mage mumbled at the end of his sentence, but Juvia could make out his words anytime. It was funny, really. All her life, the water mage was contented on loving him without expecting anything much back. Now, when it was becoming a reality, Juvia’s heart swelled. For once, her mind went blank on how to express these thoughts aloud. Loving Gray has been wonderful, but being loved back by him now was even better than she could ever imagined. She placed a hand on his cheek in efforts to cheer him up and as he turned back—in his opinion, Gray was greeted with the most alluring smile he has ever seen. “Thank you for trying so hard, Gray-sama.” She spoke in the most loving voice she could muster. “Juvia loves you very much.” In that moment, his gaze softened as he swiftly took away her hand that was on his face into his own, lacing them together. Tightening his hold on her said hand, Gray took her cheek in with his other free palm. The ice mage took a good look at her before he slowly leaned in. He heard Juvia uttered something out of confusion, but he paid no mind to it. Because in that moment, all he could think of was how much he adored her kindness, love and patience.  In the dim lighting and quiet section of the aquarium, his lips met hers in a chaste kiss as response to her statement earlier on. Frankly, the ice mage did not know what to say either as he nervously pulled away to check on her reaction. When his eyes slowly opened and met with hers, Gray could not help but smile back at his girl whose cheeks were now flushed in surprise. He let out a slight chuckle and squeezed her hand lovingly as he could tell that the water mage was clearly still processing the kiss. It was embarrassing, he admitted, but he did not regret doing so. He had nothing to hide anyways. “Shall we continue on with our date?”
After all, Juvia was his to keep from now on.
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sleepy--anon · 4 years ago
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Bad's Lee Mood
Here it is! It took two days but I'm actually kinda proud of this one enjoy :D
Bad was in a STRONG lee mood. His leg bounced subconsciously, he couldn't sit still, his face felt hot, and he felt a constant need for physical affection. Dream was sat next to him on the couch, occasionally sneaking a worried glance at Bad's bouncing leg. Bad suddenly poked Dream’s side and quickly turned away acting like nothing happened. Dream jumped at the poke and looked at Bad confused.
"Bad?"
"Hmm?"
"What was that for?"
"What was what for?" Bad had a sly smile on his face and Dream finally caught on. Bad's eyes went wide as Dream suddenly towered over him. He lied on his back with Dream hovering over him.
"If you want tickles Bad you need to ask politely instead of provoking me." Bad suppressed a squeak at the t-word and flush bright red.
"I-uh-I..." Bad began to stammer, not expecting Dream to make him ask.
"Ok, how about this, I won't make you ask, but you do have to tell me where to tickle you and I will not move until you name another spot. Diamond means small break, Green means full stop." Dream explains, he couldn't be that mean to Bad, especially when he looked like that, those puppy eyes could kill. Bad nodded slowly, he chose Dream for a reason, he wasn’t mean but he was still incredibly teasy and very good at reading emotions.
"D-do I have to say it?" Bad whimpers slightly, trying his best to keep his voice steady.
"I'll allow guiding if that's easier for you." Dream says in a reassuring voice. He settled himself comfortably on Bad's hips and held his hands out infront of him. Bad stared at the large hands for a moment before gently wrapping his small hands around Dream's wrists. He slowly pulls his hands till they rested on his tummy before quickly retreating his hands to cover his embarrassingly red face instead. Dream slowly curled his fingers, feeling Bad's muscles tense up as his began to giggle behind his hands. He sped up slightly so that he was lightly spidering over his hoodie clad tummy.
"Dreheheam!" Bad whined, Dream could hear the impatience in his voice.
"Oh I'm sorry Bad, did you want me to speed up~?" Bad nodded sheepishly and yelped when he felt Dream’s hands slip under his shirt and quickly scribble at his bare tummy. Bad's giggles escalated to soft laughter, but he decided that wasn’t enough. He reached down and squeezed Dream’s wrist which caused him to stop and just rest his hands on his tummy.
"Diamond! I-I cahahan't ask Dreheheam... can you juhuhust wreck me plehehease?" He pulls his hands down slightly to give Dream the puppy eyes. Dream sighs lightly, he hates that Bad can do this to him.
"Want me to drag it out or wrap it up for now?"
"J-just... really bad for a bit and then gentle p-please." 'This man is the literal embodiment of 🥺👉👈' Dream thinks. He gives him a warm smile and nods. His hands slowly dragged down to his hips causing Bad to squeak, both in excitement and nervousness.
"Reeeeaaddyyyy~?" Dream taunts, knowing how bad this spot was for his friend. Bad bashfully covers his face with his right arm while his left hand softly gripped Dream's wrist. He giggled frantically when Dream began massaging slow circles into the sensitive bones.
"Imma need a verbal answer from you this time Giggles~" Bad instantly noticed the Dream purposefully lowered his voice for teasing purposes.
"Quahahack... dohoho ihihihihihit." Dream was happy with that response and instantly drilled into Bad's overly sensitive hips as well as adding quick raspberries to his neck and ears.
"DREHEHEAM PLEHEHEASE!" Dream chuckled lowly in his ear.
"Whaaat? You asked for rough, so I'm giving you rough~" He ended his sentence with a long raspberry to his ear. Bad was hysterical. His shoulder was scrunched up, trapping Dream's head in his neck, his whole body convulsing, his hands gripping tightly at Dream’s arms. Bad lasted a lot longer than Dream thought he would, his lee mood must've been bad. Bad suddenly pushed at Dream’s shoulders.
"OKAHAHAY OKAHAHAY STOHOHOHOP IHIHIHIHIH'VE HAHAHAHAHAD ENOHOHUGH DREHEHEAM PLEHEHEASE! GREHEHEHEEN GREHEHEHEHEEN!" Dream stopped immediately and pulled back, he patted his chest lightly.
"You good?" Bad nodded, his eyes closed, his face flushed, and his chest rising and falling as he greedily took in air. Dream reached forward and removed Bad's glasses so he could sleep comfortably. Bad instantly made grabby hands at Dream which made said male melt, he laid down and spooned him gently (and platonicly) and softly drew little circles on his shoulder blades, occasionally sneaking to scratch at the back of his neck to keep Bad giggling a little, the duo fell asleep like that and Sapnap unbeknownst to them took many pictures of them like that and sent them to Skeppy who now will have to explain to Bad why it's his Homescreen on his phone.
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wesokkasimp · 4 years ago
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general zuko relationship headcanons
-hmm
-so i’m writing these for a post-war relationship
-don’t mind me projecting my crush on firelord!zuko
-this boy def doesn’t ask you out right away
-too nervous for that
-i know i said in my long distance h/c that he would propose right away, but that was for an established relationship
-if y’all aren’t already dating expect to be waiting a lil while
-once things have kinda… settled in the world? like it’s still rather unstable, but at this point most passive aggressiveness between nations is gone
-that’s when zuko would finally take some time for himself and his personal relationships
-if you had left the Fire Nation after the war to do other things, he may have realized he missed you more than the others
-and he missed you in a different way
-with the others he just missed interactions and the good times they had as team avatar
-and he missed that with you too
-but he also just kind of craves your presence
-your scent, your warmth, your touch, your voice
-he could probably sit in a room with you silently all day
-taking in the very essence of you
-because there’s just so much to take in
-when he realizes this, he doesn’t peg it as a crush at first
-zuko’s the guy that can read his friends and loved ones like a book but cannot decode his own feelings for the life of him
-poor kid :(
-he probably just pegs it as knowing you better than the others
-especially if you grew up in the Fire Nation
-ESPECIALLY especially if y’all grew up around each other
-but he starts to question his line of reasoning when you come to visit
-he hasn’t seen you since the southern water tribe drama
-and it’s been two or three years since then
-so you get off… the boat? idk wtf they use for transportation
-he’s waiting at the bottom of the harbor
-he knew when you stepped off the landing and he saw you for the first time in years
-he knew when all it took for him, a very focused person, to become distracted was you paging through a file of things for your work, a furrow in your brow
-when he can normally work through various natural disasters (the Fire Nation is an kind of an archipelago so i assume they get lots of hurricanes/tsunamis and stuff like that)
-THAT was when this boy finally came to his senses and realized he had a thing for you
-but him acting on it? that’s a whooooole different story
-HE’S SO SHY AND NERVOUS OMFG IT’S CUTE
-but it’s also a little annoying at times
-because for years he’s been loud and boisterous with you
-and now that he knows he has a thing for you he doesn’t know how to act
-you don’t catch on tho (thank god for him)
-like you know he’s acting different, but you don’t know why
-he knows you’re gonna figure out what’s going on if he doesn’t fix his behaviour soon
-so he keeps an air of normality around you
-but on the inside he’s still super shy and nervous
-zuko doesn’t have a ton of experience with relationships in general but especially romantic ones
-i don’t think he would’ve gotten with someone after mai broke up with him
-it took him a little bit to get over her, as seen in smoke and shadow
-he’s also a busy guy in general; not tons of time for dates
-iroh may have set up a few dinner dates but nothing substantial has grown from those
-so… in conclusion… king has no idea what the fuck he’s doing
-mai was a pretty special case as she was ridiculously low maintenance and showed zero emotion
-aka exactly like zuko
-i feel like them being so alike was probably one of the reasons their relationship didn’t work out
-like… i’m showing no emotion, you’re showing no emotion, i’m not gonna coax emotions out of you, you’re not gonna coax emotions out of me, we both bottle up anger at each other, ourselves, the world, etc, aaaand cue huge screaming match
-getting off topic whoopz
-since mai was so much like zuko, he had an idea of how to court her
-if he thought something sounded stupid, mai would probably think that too
-but it’s a different story with you
-you might have similarities to zuko but you’re not EXACTLY like him (if you are sorry but i had to make y/ns persona less generic)
-so… romantically? has no clue what the fuck you’re looking for in a relationship
-even if he knows you really well platonically, he thinks that doesn’t translate into romantic relations because he’s clueless ok
-so zuko decides on the subtle approach
-would he confess? no! of course not !!
-but do his touches tend to linger?
-does he let you catch him staring at you?
-is he suddenly very invested in the dating scene wherever you’re living?
-...yes
-and you’re not stupid, you catch on
-and… honestly, there’s no big confession from either of you
-things just sort of evolve on their own
-you end up staying in the Fire Nation a lot longer than you originally planned
-fun excursions that were once platonic turn more and more sensual and flirty
-pats on the back and high fives slowly become back rubs and hand holding
-but... HE STILL HASN’T ASKED YOU OUT
-at this point no one know what the fuck your relationship is
-friends? lovers? fwb? 
-no one can figure it out
-least of all you
-i wish i could make zuko super smooth and have this super romantic confession but that would be so ooc for him
-HE TRIES HIS BEST BUT ROMANCE IS HARD FOR HIM OK >:(
-what probably happened was he took you out to dinner
-and you’re tired of not knowing what you are to him
-so you’re like zuko? what are we to each other?
-and he has been DREADING this question
-he knew it was coming eventually
-and to be honest he’s not quite sure either
-he knows he likes you as more than a friend
-and he’s pretty sure you feel the same way
-so he decides to go out on a limb and speak his mind (finally omfg)
- “More than friends, I think. I mean, I think of you as more than a friend… I think you feel the same way? Or-”
-“Zuko, it’s fine. I like you as more than a friend too, but we don’t have to label ourselves right away.”
-the boy is RELIEVED
-it’s like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders
-he’s not the kind of guy that says “i don’t like labels” as an excuse to fool around
-even though you never really talked about it, it’s a silent agreement that you’re both exclusive
-so… i mean that’s basically dating 
-our boy just has commitment issues ok 😔
-eventually you start kissing him in the cheek
-when i tell you he was FLUSTERED when you did that the first time
-i honestly can’t decide if zuko hates pda or loves it 
-he’s touch starved, so idk if he really craves or is really hesitant to physical contact
-if it’s the former, expect hand holding, cheek/forehead kisses, him wrapping his arm around your waist, etc 
-even if he likes pda he keeps it professional
-if it’s the latter…
-the only consistent pda you’re gonna get is hand holding
-if ANYONE gives you shit for something like your socioeconomic status before you started dating zuko or if you came from somewhere outside the Fire Nation
-he will get annoyed and tell them off as politely as possible 🥰
-as for marriage…
-he wouldn’t really think it out that much if he was trying to decide if he wanted to marry you
-by the time he would be considering marriage, he knows right away that he does in fact want to marry you
-his PROPOSAL, however
-he definitely plans this big thing and then somehow messes it up after practicing it a bunch of times
-you still say yes ofc
-zuko is pretty dedicated to the Fire Nation, so he will most likely follow most traditional aspects of the Fire Lord and Lady’s wedding
-he’d integrate important wedding traditions if your culture if you’re from another nation
-married life would be pretty similar to pre married life
-he just gets to call you his wife now :)))
-so it’s canonical that people try to assassinate zuks
-like ALL the time
-he felt like he could handle it but once you moved in with him he started to become very worried :(
-so he beefed up the security around his quarters. even if you also have training in combat he just wants to sleep a little sounder
-hngh if y’all want kids that can be another post this is already kinda long
-that all folks :)
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AHHHHH HI THESE ARE VERY LATE BUT THEY ARE HERE,,,,, anyways might have to turn off my inbox because,,, uh,,, very angry anti semites and zionists in there rn don’t really feel like getting death threats today
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roberttchase · 3 years ago
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helping your partner into the shower, undressing and cleaning them up when they're too upset to do it themselves + Brettsey 🙂🙂
I love this prompt so much!!! Thank you! I know I normally do angst, like...lots of angst. But I have a test today that if I don't pass will seriously hinder me, so I'm writing something a little more lighthearted and fluffy. Hope that's ok!
//
The thing is, they've been going back and forth with this seller for almost a week. There's two other couples with offers on the table, but they've really been hopeful. I mean...come on. Who wouldn't want to sell to a paramedic in charge and captain of the Chicago Fire Department? The house has everything, too. It's a modest three bedroom only a couple of miles from the firehouse, in an area that; for Chicago, is pretty safe.
The house itself is white, slightly weathered from the rain and snow that the city brings. The doors and molding are black, and it looks like something out of one of Sylvie's HGTV shows. Logically, she's aware they could paint any house, but this one's perfect. The closet in the master is big enough that both she and Matt can use it at the same time, the current owners have just put in a new, very large bathtub. One of the other bedrooms is the perfect distance away for what needs to be a nursery, if miss Adelaide plans on getting here anytime soon.
Sighing, Sylvie swallows thickly as she and Matt listen to the voice on the other side of the phone telling them that the home's just been sold to another couple. Blinking hard, Sylvie stays quiet, and while Matt thanks the man, the blonde wanders over to the window near the couch. It's not that she doesn't love the apartment they're in now- it's more spacious than her old one, and it holds wonderful memories for her and her fiance. But. It's not right for a family.
Beau, their little french bulldog, waddles over and gives a huff as he looks up, then stands on his hind legs, front paws against her leg. Slowly, much slower than she would have seven months ago, Sylvie bends down and picks their thirteen pound dog up, careful not to bonk him into her ever growing belly.
"Hey Beau, looks like you're going to have to wait a little longer on that yard," she whispers, and Sylvie can feel tears accumulating. That's one thing she's been struggling with as her pregnancy gets further along- getting more emotional. But this is a valid excuse to be emotional, she thinks, as she hugs the black and white pup tighter. That was supposed to be their home. And just like that someone else got it. A few tears fall.
She's unaware of Matt's presence until arms are sliding around her from behind, hands coming to rest on her (still small for seven months) bump.
"We'll figure it out. This just means that somewhere there's an even better place out there for us. What does your dad always say...everything has a way of working out?"
A tight nod of her head and she turns, letting Beau down before curling into Matt's arms. The mention of her father has her heart aching to see him again. "Y-Yeah."
"We'll look around tomorrow. It'll be okay. We still have plenty of time before Ads comes along. I promise Sunshine." With a kiss to her forehead, Matt tilts her head up by her jaw, and blue eyes meet blue-green. "I love you."
"I love you too." Her voice is still wobbly. "I just...that house was perfect. In the perfect area, an-"
"Let's not dwell on it, yeah? How about we go shower like you had said you wanted to, then we can order some food and watch Hocus Pocus, hmm?"
A smile starts tugging at her lips. Sylvie knows Matt's tired of watching the Disney movie, but it's one of her favorites, especially when she's upset or sick. It's been playing more often since it's become Autumn and the spooky decor has started filtering in and pushing back to school items in the stores out.
"Really?"
"I think I can manage sitting through it one more time. But only for you. Come on."
With a tug of her hand, Matt pulls her towards the bathroom right next to their bedroom. As she closes the door, she watches the firefighter squat down and grab her favorite lotion for afterwards.
"Thank you...for taking care of me and Adelaide," Sylvie says softly, as she struggles to get off her lounge shorts. Matt gives her a grin, then catches her lips in a quick kiss.
"Anytime. Here..." he trails off and steadies her as she pulls the shorts off. Lifting her arms up, Matt helps her with her shirt too, then catches another kiss. He shuffles her into the shower, making sure the water is a good temperature, then, once her hair is wet, starts lathering it up with her shampoo, the one Matt always calls stupid-expensive.
"You want to make some cookies after? We have those break apart ones, the ones with the little pumpkins on them?"
Sylvie snaps her head up to look at him from under the spray. "When did we get those?" They're her favorite.
"I may have picked them up when I went grocery shopping earlier." A sneaky little smile appears on Matt's face and Sylvie thinks there's no way she can love him more.
"Thank you, Matt Casey. You're something special."
"Nah. I just know you and our daughter, and knew we were out of sweet things. The world might have come to an end if I hadn't found something."
It's true. With the sweet tooth she has, she knows if she hadn't been able to have some kind of dessert, especially after the news, she would have probably had another good cry.
"Love you."
"Love you too bumblebee. Now lets finish you up so we can start on getting you feeling a little happier."
"I am happy...even though we got some shitty news...you always make me happy."
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ssavanessa22 · 4 years ago
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Bad blood
Warnings: racism, hate crime, cannon type violence, kinda but not really smutty so like 16+ as always if I missed someone pls tell me !
A/n the girls of Wattpad really liked this one so I hope you all enjoy as well!
"Y/N you and Reid are going to lead this interview even though you are together make a great team and I think you can crake him are you guys okay with that?"
Spencer and I looked and each other and smiled in unison we replied.
"Yes we are more than okay with that"
Spencer and I have been together for 2 years 324days and 6 hours well that's what he said to me when I woke up next him laying of his bare chest, even though we basically spend every day together we still needed uno special time together and oh was it special. Before we told hotch about our relationship we were able to be in the field together until one time I thought Spence died and then I started crying and it was a whole big thing but now are months not working together we got to do what we both love and with each other.
Before we walked into the interrogation room together Spence turned to me and said.
"Are you sure your okay to do this, you don't have to if you don't want to this case is close to you even if he didn't hurt your family"
This unsub was committing hate crime murders for the last nine months pretending to go on dates with balck women then brutally murder them, Garcia found his manifesto online called "the eradication of all unpure women" it took Kevin who was with her at the time to calm her down as she had to read it out loud I felt bad for her but everyone else felt bad for me. Was looking at me in that moment I wished more than ever to be where Tara was right now, interviewing a child rapist.
I replied to Reid whilst plastering on a fake smile,
"Spencer I'm gonna be fine if anything these women looking like me being like me makes me wanna catch this motherfucker even more"
He smiled and gently kissed me before we both walked in.
"Tyler Walker do you know hey your here"
He ignored my question then Spencer asked the same one only then did he reply.
"Tyler if I'm going to be in here you need to speak to both of us" I sternly replied
"Well if your gonna bring you boyfriend in here since you clearly can't do this on you own them I'm gonna talk to the man here if you'd don't mind"
Spencer interjected saying
"Tyler we found the hearts of all the women murdered in you home why were they in there?"
I don't know I didn't touch them"
He didn't ask if you touched them we asked what you did to those girls" I sternly said.
"You know what If you want to know what I hypothetically would have done to those women I tell you, but only little miss chocolate in the room and only her."
Before Reid could protest I said "yeah sure let's talk"
Spencer's POV
As I walked to the door I gave y/n a reassuring smile she turned and gave me one back but her face was filled with anger and fear, she would never tell me this but she was scared. We didn't shy away from the topic of race within our relationship I read of lot of books and educated myself before I even started dating her I would never understand but I will always try my hardest to be there. And sometimes she just wanted to come home and cry let her emotions out about what it was like being black in American and that was okay as well because I love her.
"How do you think she's gonna do in there?" JJ asked reluctantly
"If I'm being honest I don't know"
Y/N's POV
I sat down trying to make myself look bigger and take up more space within the room than I actually did to encourage my self but in my head I was fucking shitting it.
"Okay we are alone now tell me"
"Just remember sweetheart this is all hypothetical I never did anything if the thing I am about it say" Tyler replied in a menacing tone
"Yes I know get on with it then"
The next 15 minutes felt like a blur, 15 minutes 900 seconds that's how long I heard Tyler speak about all the torcher he wanted to our women like me through half way he started to refer to the women with my name making me imagine him doing these Haines and despicable things to me. I think what was the worst part was that he was smiling whilst he describe these disgusting thing to me he smiled I felt violated and felt used and felt like he had infested my personal space chipping away at the emotional armour I developed whilst having this job.
Once he finished I was on the brink tears but I never going to show him that I left the room being met only by Spencer's face he was seething but I didn't care I just wanted him to hold me to tell me everything was going to be okay.
"Y/N it's okay your okay your other now" he said whilst soothing me.
"I just don't think I can get back in there-"
As I said that Derek stormed in took one look at me and brought me to his arms even though it wasn't Spencer it just felt right in the time to hug him he would understand the most out of the team what I was going through.
"Y/N I know you said you don't want to go back in there but he got him his prints were all over the bodies we found and he had the hearts of the victims he's going to go away for a long time but now you can tell him that take back your power Y/N"
"Ok I'll do it"
"Y/N are you sure you wanna do it this you don't have to?" Spencer said whilst searching my eyes for any fear I had.
I smirked at Spencer whilst he looked at me in confusion I replied.
"Nope I'm okay and I know just what I'm gonna talk about"
By this point the whole team was in the room
"Y/N are you okay love I heard what happened"
"I'm okay Emily but right now you get to watch me drag a white supremacist to filth."
I barged into the interrogation room not letting Tyler speak.
"Okay listen Up bird brain your already done for we found your prints all over the body and that were at your house so now this is just a formality"
"So if you think you've caught me why I am not in a jail cell right now? Hmm"
"You were so nice to me and described the rape, torture, murder and the disfigurement that you would do to me so now I'm just going to repay the favour"
"You know you were right about him being my boyfriend you know"
"so the lanky white one is you boyfriend, I've always said that pure breads shouldn't mix with you people"
"Tyler your going to prison for a very long time you racist rhetoric means nothing to me,but since you I have been so kind to me I am going to spend the next 15 no 20 minutes going in full detail about the amazing sex I had with my white boyfriend last night if we can fit it all in 20 minutes. We will just have to see won't we?"
Spencer's POV
My jaw had dropped to the floor when y/n said that I mean yes it would be hot for her to describe every single we did last night both of us have an eidetic memory so I know she remembers it all but in front of a racist unsub I had I was weirdly impressed and terrified at the same time.
"You don't think she's actually gonna do that?" I asked to the team in complete and utter shock
"Reid when was the last time y/n has ever lied to us?"
"Once JJ but she couldn't even go the whole day telling the lie she ended buying hotch a dozen of his favourite donuts even though she only ate one"
Derek and Emily started chuckling and said.
"That means she's not lying"
The unsub was seething with anger when y/n carried on speacking
" Tyler I didn't a little digging on you and I found out form you pervious girlfriends that apparently you can't put it up in one of you girlfriends exact words she says no matter how hard I tried he could never get hard"
"You don't know anything you slut"
"oop Tyler your using big words especially with someone who only has the education of a 5th grader"
But you know what Tyler lucky for you I have and eidetic memory I don't think you know what that is so I'm just gonna tell you... that means I remember everything so we're gonna have some fun together hmm"
20 minutes, 1200 seconds that's how long y/n spoke in detail about about sexual escapades from last night throughout these 20 minutes Derek started recording so he could send this back to Garcia. Light  chuckles and laughs were heard here and there then oos and ahhs, then total shock was the look on everyone's face and a gasp coming from Garcia who Derek had patched in a phone call so she could listen too when y/n got to the last bit.  I guess they just assumed because I'm the youngest apart from y/n and .... well I'm me that we would have a boring sex life but I guess we surprised them.
Y/N's POV
After I finished I wasted no time in leaving but before I did I said one more thing.
Tyler you are going to prison for a very long time you probably get life or even the death penalty so I want you to remember what I spoke to you about every single time you try your hardest to get it up every. Single. Time. I hope you know after your manny years in prison never getting to see the outside again and you die I will be sleeping soundly knowing you are burning in hell"
I walked out and the whole team was silent in utter shock of what I said then i realised I probably shouldn't have said any of that too an unsub.
" omg hotch I am so sorry that was completely inappropriate and unacceptable what I did in there and wasn't right at all I-"
"I'm sorry y/n I don't know what your talking about what did you say in there"
"What I just spent the last 20 minutes-"
Seriously y/n what are you talking about you went I told him what he was being charge for and you walked back out hun what are you talking about?"
Im what I'm so confused what?"
Then Spencer finally said
"Babe I know I can be dumb sometimes but please read the room"
I looked around still so confused until I finally realised.
Ohhhhh ok yeah yeah I get it now"
Okay but when are you are pretty boy releasing the sex tape cause I would like to pre order"
The whole teams was laughing including me and Spencer I replied simply with
"in your dreams Morgan in your dreams" 
97 notes · View notes
m3kuroshirt · 3 years ago
Text
House of Assassins Part Four
links to Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Word count: 1944
warnings: none
The kitchen was warm and inviting, especially so cold and late (early?). Ichigo seated himself at the table, and Grimmjow busied himself with the kettle. As he waited, Ichigo could feel tiredness seeping into his bones, but he knew that if he went home all he would do was stare up at the darkened ceiling, a restlessness running rampant in his mind.
Finally, Grimmjow sat himself down with two mugs of tea. He slid one to Ichigo, and took a sip from the other. “So,” he started. Ichigo bit the inside of his lip as he wrapped both hands around the warm mug. “What’s on your mind? The stuff you can talk about, anyway.” His voice was gruff and tired, but there was no impatience in it. Ichigo took a sip of his tea. It burned the tongue a little, and washed a path of heat all the way down to his gut.
“…I…does it sound stupid if I say ‘I don’t know’?” he mumbled, running his thumb over the smooth ceramic of the mug. Grimmjow shrugged. He ran a hand through his bright blue hair.
“I don’t think so.”
Ichigo gave him a small smile. “Thanks.” He sighed and leaned on the table with his elbows. “I guess…I’m just conflicted. The guy I was talking to…he’s an old family friend. Or rather, an ex-family-friend. But I’m going to be helping him out for a bit. Just…have some mixed emotions about it, I guess,” Ichigo admitted. He took another sip of tea.
“Fair enough. You seem pretty close to your family, it would be weird to work with someone they don’t like,” Grimmjow replied. Ichigo shrugged.
“I guess. We all have varying degrees of…dislike…for him. Rukia doesn’t really mind him, but then her brother works closely with him. And Orihime couldn’t hold a grudge against anyone, even if they tried to kill her.” Ichigo stretched his arms over his head. Grimmjow frowned.
“Hold on…wouldn’t Rukia’s brother also be your brother?” he asked, head tilted to the side and an adorable confused frown on his face.
“Hmm? No. He adopted her. So like, he married her older sister, right? But Rukia and her sister were separated in the foster system early on and never reunited. So Rukia grew up with us instead. But apparently her sister was trying to find her. She married Byakuya and died before she could find Rukia, but Byakuya kept looking. And when he found her, he offered her to be a part of his family. She only agreed as long as he let her stay with us, though.” Ichigo yawned as he finished talking. He rubbed his temples and drank the rest of his tea. “We’re pretty mis-matched for a family.”
“Gotcha.” Grimmjow finished his tea as well, then picked up the mugs to refill them. “So, what did that guy do then? Is that something you can talk about?”
Ichigo stretched his neck from side to side, and definitely snuck a glance at Grimmjow’s backside. He only answered when the other man set both their mugs back on the table. “I…guess, a little. Basically, he tried to get me to work for him. Without really disclosing all the details of the job or how dangerous it was. Kisuke was pissed when he found out.” He rolled his shoulders. “Really, I was fifteen and stupid and eager to make a buck. I took a job, because I figured Kisuke was overreacting, I figured I was fine. Shunsui didn’t do much for teaching me, he figured I should be able to do most of it because I was learning with Kisuke, and I was too naïve to actually realize that I didn’t know everything. I ended up in a coma in the hospital for four months.”
“Fuck. That’s awful,” Grimmjow murmured as Ichigo paused to drink some more. Ichigo nodded.
“Yeah…I wasn’t there when Kisuke confronted him, of course, but I heard he almost killed him.” He ran a hand through his orange hair and scratched his scalp a little. “And that pretty much ended all our contact with Shunsui up until recently.”
Grimmjow leveled him with a look. “And you think it’s a good idea now to do work for him? What changed?”
Ichigo sighed. “It’s not so much that it’s a ‘good idea’, as it is necessary. I’m older now, I’ve got the skillset and the proper teaching. And I’m the only one he can ask to help. It’s not so much for him as it is for Aunty Retsu, anyway.” Ichigo made sure to use her casual name rather than ‘Unohana’. Grimmjow seemed like a nice guy, but he could never be certain what would come up in conversations others had, and he really, really didn’t need his target getting any wind of the job.
“She his wife?”
Ichigo was in the middle of drinking his tea when Grimmjow dropped that question. He coughed and spluttered a laugh. “Oh fuck no!” he gasped, setting his mug on the table. “I mean, she’d keep him in fucking line if she was, but no…no, ew, that would…ugh. No. She’s another friend of Kisuke’s.”
“Hm.” Grimmjow sipped his tea again. Ichigo propped his face up with his palm, leaning more onto the table. He kept his eyes glued to the amber liquid in his cup, since Grimmjow’s piercing gaze felt as though the other man could see every secret if he kept looking in his eyes. “This job is dangerous then?”
“Yeah.” Ichigo didn’t dare lie about that part. Besides, it’s not like his was the only job in the world with risks.
“…be safe, then…” The words were quiet, barely there. But Ichigo heard them. He looked up and met the other’s serious stare.
Ichigo smirked. “Aw, worried about me?”
“Of course I am, idiot. You’re the first friend I’ve made here. Actually, first one I’ve made in years,” Grimmjow muttered into his cup as he turned his face away. He took a long sip, cheeks burning pink.
Friend. The word tugged at Ichigo’s heart, unleashing a barrel of mixed emotions. On the one hand, a warm feeling, recognition that Grimmjow thought of him as more than just ‘a neighbour’, the comfort of having someone he could go to and hang out with outside the little family he’d found himself. On the other, a brief but sharp sting, the worry that this might be all there ever is, that maybe ‘friend’ is all that Grimmjow would ever be willing to associate with him. Ichigo shoved those worries down. I should be grateful he thinks of me as a friend. Especially when I’m keeping so many secrets from him, and he knows I am. He closed his eyes and let the warm scent of the tea seep into his body, surrounding him and bringing him comfort. “Friends, huh?” he murmured. “Friends are good.” It was more to convince himself than anything, but Grimmjow overheard.
“Yeah. I mean, I guess? Like I said, haven’t had many,” he replied in a nonchalant voice. Ichigo gave a non-committal hum.
“They are. Especially nice when it’s someone outside your family, someone you can talk to,” he replied, opening his eyes. His eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, though, and he had to blink a few times before his eyes would focus on the man in front of him.
“Yeah, I suppose.” Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at him in amusement. “You’re looking pretty played out…are you sure you’re good to go home?”
“Hmm? It’s right next door,” Ichigo mumbled, moving to stand. He managed to get upright, but then swayed and stumbled back onto the chair. “Oh damn. More tired’n’I thought.” Grimmjow’s expression morphed from amusement to concern.
“Shit. Don’t try and walk home, ok? You can crash here on the couch if you want, alright?” He stood up and helped Ichigo stand again. “I’ll help you there. Come on.” Ichigo steadied himself on Grimmjow as they walked into the living room. The couch looked incredibly inviting and soft.
Laying on the couch was like sinking into a deep dark warmth. He thought he heard a distant yelp and someone saying ‘wait let go’, but that had to be someone else’s problem. He was tired, too tired to do much of anything let alone help. The inky darkness surrounded him, caressed him, and enveloped him in a gentle warmth and firm embrace. Ichigo gladly let it carry him off to sleep.
***
Grimmjow helped Ichigo to the couch. It wasn’t overly big, and didn’t really look all that comfortable, compared to a bed, but it would do. He eased his friend onto the cushions, then made to move away. But the arms that had been using him as a stabilizer tightened around him and dragged him down. Grimmjow yelped.
“Wait! Let go!” he hissed, but Ichigo didn’t seem to hear him. Grimmjow hesitated to be any louder, lest he wake Nel. Not that she would be angry. But he would never live down the teasing if she saw him like this with their neighbour, especially since she knew all about his crush. His only hope was to extract himself carefully…
…he hadn’t counted on Ichigo being quite so strong. Like, he knew the other man could lift his fair share, had seen him carry things most people would need a partner to handle, but overpowering Grimmjow and trapping him in a hug? In his sleep, of all things? Grimmjow grumbled under his breath as all his attempts to wriggle away were thwarted by a completely oblivious, sleeping, handsome idiot. With all his efforts proving futile, Grimmjow gave in and opted to simply lie there, held firmly on top of Ichigo. He couldn’t see the other man’s face, as his own face was turned to the back of the couch, head resting on Ichigo’s chest, listening to his rhythmic breathing and the gentle thumping of his heart. Their legs were entangled, and Grimmjow tried not to dwell too much on that fact, his face burning. He clenched and unclenched his hands before softly, hesitantly, moving them upward, behind Ichigo, wrapping around his torso slightly.
Why did I call him a ‘friend’? This isn’t how friends react, Grimmjow thought to himself. He was wide awake, and with no reprieve in sight, his mind decided to wander down what had become now an all-too-familiar path over the past couple of months. Dammit. Why can’t I just make the words come out right?
Ichigo’s arms tightened around him briefly, then relaxed slightly, but not enough to let Grimmjow actually worm his way out. Are you even sure he likes you, though? The thought crept into his mind unbidden, for what had to be the millionth time that week. Are you sure Jinta wasn’t lying? Are you sure anyone at all would like you?
Grimmjow grit his teeth and unconsciously tightened his grip on the other man. He only realized how tense he was when he heard a sleepy “…’s tight,” mumbled above him. He relaxed instantly, fear catching in his heart, convinced Ichigo would wake up that instant, throw him off of him, call him a freak, and storm out of the house. He waited for his inevitable fate…one…two…three…
…and nothing happened. There was a soft sigh, and Ichigo’s breathing resumed its steady rate. He hadn’t been fully awake, then. Grimmjow couldn’t decide if that was good or bad. He sighed and resigned himself to being stuck there for now. He might as well try and get some rest if he was going to have to face the rude awakening of the morning. So he closed his eyes and drifted off.
18 notes · View notes
writefightandflightclub · 4 years ago
Text
First light, last love
Summary: a lazy, fluffy morning in bed with your love, Santiago Garcia.
Author’s note: Very quick blurb in response to an ask- not my best but hope you like it! You can decide whether he means literal breakfast or “breakfast” *wink wink* at the end, depending on how you wanna be woken up.
Warnings: language, it’s Santi.
Word count: short and sweet. 
Tagging: @phoenixhalliwell​ @lostgirlheather​ @justrunamok​ @aellynera​ @damerondjarin​ @blushingwueen​ @iamthe-shadow-on-the-wall​ @holybatflapexpert​ @himbopoes​ @arabellathorne​ @yourbucky084​ @mandoplease​ @mylifeliterally​ @arkofblake​ @multifandomlife22​ @yougottakeeponkeepinon​ @aisling-beatha​ @stardust-galaxies​ 
GIF by @twillight
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The morning sun is the first caress on your skin, gently easing you awake. Santi’s hands are the second, pulling you from the warm embrace of slumber and into the warm embrace of him.
As you stir, you feel the sturdiness and familiar shape of Santi’s body pressed firmly to your back as he forms a big spoon around you. You absorb the texture of bare skin on skin as his nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, and his hand languidly wanders over your belly and your thighs. His fingertips trace symbols on to your flesh, which only those fluent in the language of love might hope to ever decipher, easing your consciousness into the waking world and to a place where you feel completely safe and content and held; in his arms.
You hum softly to signal to him you’re awake, and a blissed out smile eases over your lips, the joy that comes from waking up next to your love and enjoying this closeness spilling visibly out of you.
“Morning, Princesa,” he breathes, hot air and the deep rumble of his voice fanning over your neck. Santi presses a gentle kiss to your neck, propping himself up onto his elbow to allow his kisses to journey along your jawline, and you turn your head to greet his lips with yours, giggling into the kiss.
Every time you kiss him it feels like arriving home. Each moment with him holding you feels like breaking dawn. Warm, fresh yet familiar, and an inconceivable blessing.
You peel your eyelids open, failing to quell the happy smile which beams out of you as soon as your gaze greets his, those warm, coffee eyes the only wake-up call you need.
You love waking up slow with him like this. No alarms; no place to be, except beside each other.
“Morning, handsome,” you say softly, as his broad hand comes to gently cup your cheek.
Those hands of his. You love them so. Those hands which were trained to be lethal, but which felt like they were made to love you. When they feel so good against you, what other purpose could they possibly have?
Instead of craning your neck, you swivel until you are flat on your back, Santi’s prone body still tesselated neatly into your side. He smiles back at you, his eyes skimming over your face and hair as if he is seeing you afresh with the start of the new day; even though he has looked at you so often, you sometimes question how he could possibly still wonder at the sight of you. Even when you’re like this, still shaking off the dregs of sleep, face and hair still fresh from the pillow, Santi’s eyes are glowing with adoration.
Santi runs his hand over your contours, fingertips guiding his gaze and sweeping languidly over your chest and stomach and legs. The callouses of him rub against the smoothness of your skin as he cups handfuls of your soft parts in his palms as if you are his daily bread. As if he might bring you to his lips to sustain him. After all, how could he live without you?
As you enjoy his touch, light filters intermittently through the curtains, hazy and half-cocked, ocassionally finding its aim on your face or throwing bars of gold daybreak over Santi’s chest, sun glinting off his dog tags. 
“Holy shit, baby,” Santi breathes as he studies you. “Once again you’re even more beautiful to me than yesterday, and less beautiful to me than you will be tomorrow.” Santi’s lips quirk up playfully, as his fingertips continue to wander the planes of you. He’s never lost when he’s touching you. He’s never lost, like he has been so often in dense jungle, tunred around and scared for his life. His fingers always know their path. His lips always know thier route to your lips, even in the dark. And yet, although he knows you so well, he never tires of you.
“Fuck, Santi,” you say, rubbing your eyes and adjusting to the light, feeling out your limbs and emerging gradually from the heaviness of sleep. “Just when I think you’ve run out of ways to charm me, you come out with something like that. Before you’ve even had coffee.”
You turn your body towards him and Santi lowers himself back to the pillow. You shuffle until you lie nose to nose with each other, shimmying the blankets down until they rest across your hips and tangling your thighs with the meat of his.
“I fuckin’ hope I never run out of ways to charm you, preciosa,” Santi says in earnest.
A lazy grin inches over his face, and you enjoy the creases which form around his eyes and mouth. Then, muffling his confession, Santi dips his head forward to nuzzle kisses into your neck. “Plus... alright, I confess to raiding the greeting card aisle yesterday while I was waiting for ‘Fish to checkout the beers.”
Your fingers filter into his grizzled curls as a soft chuckle shakes your chest up against him, and you absorb all the textures of him possible as his stubble grazes pleasantly along your collarbone and your breasts, soothed by lazy caresses of his lips and tongue. “That one made me think of you, cariño,” he whispers, his voice entirely earnest again as he tips his chin to look up at you from beneath his lashes and heavy brows with sincere eyes. 
You snicker softly as you nose into his curls, planting a loving kiss to the top of his head and lingering there to inhale the unique scent of him. Wrapping your arms around him more tightly, you tug him into your chest, and Santi hums contentedly, thoroughly dissolving into your embrace as you bring him closer and tangle limbs with him.
You feel so happy you might float to the ceiling, if you weren’t tethered by the blankets and by his embrace.
You both tug in a deep, steadying breath and exhale it together, enjoying nothing but the silence and the presence of each other for a few, extended moments.
“How is it-” Santi eventually begins to wonder idly as your arms encase him “-that I spend most of my time surrounded by a trained squad of killers, but I never feel safer than when you hold me like this?”
“Hmm. You didn’t get that from a Hallmark card, did you?” you tease, deflecting some of the raw emotion in his tone with humour, as it almost feels too overwhelming to handle, sometimes, Santi’s love. “That one was all you, you charmer?”
His words have a happiness blooming right from the core of you, and, you hope, suffusing back into him as you share this moment of loving each other, transmitting love back and forth through every touch and brush of lips and fingers and skin.
It is moments and mornings like this which you love the most. Not the grand gestures of love. Not the greeting card moments or the surprises or the special ocassions. The mundaness of love is everything to you. The simple, small joys with Santi are the ones you treasure the most.
“Yeah,” he jokes. “The rest said: everyone knows not to fuck with you, mi Reina, because they saw you tear Will a new one when he was a dick at our housewarming, and now cartels and drug lords cower in fear. Happy Thanksgiving.”
You laugh, a lilting sound which draws Santi’s eyes back to your lips, and you flop back on to the mattress, your arms raised above you on the pillow. Santi takes the opportunity to roll on top of you, craving even more contact. He boxes you in securely with his arms, and nudges your knees apart so he can lie in between your legs, hips pressing up against you. The weight of him against you, the feel of the solid mass of him on top of you is such a comfort, grounding you entirely when only moments ago you were lost to your dreams; still, moments like this with your love seem beyond your wildest dreams.
The chain of Santi’s dog tags jangle and pool on to your chest as he settles over you, the cool metal a pleasing contrast against your warm skin and the body heat emanating off of him. You regard them warily, ever since that time they chipped your tooth during a particularly vigorous embrace, but you have grown to love the familiar extension of him, and the reminder that although he is lethal, he is nothing but soft for you.
You follow the bobbles of the chain up and over his smooth chest, corded neck. To his face. God, he’s handsome. All over and at all times, but especially in the mornings like this, when he’s in nothing but his boxers and his watch and that chain. When his skin is bare and warm against you except for these shocks of cool metal. When he is still slightly grogged and unguarded, fresh from sleep. You love seeing his mussed mop of curls and the overnight sprouting of his stubble. Love having him all to yourself.
Santi swoops his soft lips down to kiss you again, and as he pulls back up you admire the happy glow in his heavy-lidded eyes. Admire the flexed muscles in his shoulders as he holds himself above you, and the soft curve of his belly pressing against yours. You drink him in, and you know he’s doing the same with you. 
While enjoying this moment, the like of which seems so rare these days, it suddenly strikes you how long you have gone uninterrupted.
“Santi, the house is quiet. What did you do to the boys?”
Santi grins down at you like the handsome devil he is and greedily kisses almost every inch of your face, bit by bit. “Sent the boys off to lake. Wanted you all to myself today.”
You smile broadly and gratefully at your thoughtful, adoring man. You were really enjoying the week out at the lake with the squad, but the boys could be a lot, and you did agree; you wanted Santi all to yourself for a little bit too. Ok, a lot.
“Thought we could have a lazy morning then take a picnic up to the coast? Found a good place you can do some reading while I lie in your lap and gaze longingly at you?”
You look at him adoringly and Santi takes the opportunity to swipe his tongue languidly along your lower lip, humming into the cave of your mouth as you grant him access and slowly mingle your lips and tongue with his like you have all the time in the world. 
You wind your arms lovingly around his neck, and pucker your lips to plant a delicate kiss to the tip of his strong, perfect nose. “You’re a genius, Santi. In fact, you know what? I love you more than I did yesterday, and less than I will tomorrow.”
Santi doesn’t smile at your words, despite the playful grin on your own face. He simply looks at you in wonderment again.  As if he’s seeing you fresh. Like every moment with you is a breaking dawn. “Fuck, Princesa. Who’s the charmer now?” Santi looks at you as though he’s the luckiest man in the world, and that never fails to floor you.
Yes, these were without doubt your favourite kind of mornings. You treasure these small moments together, where you have all the time in the world to adore each other. And you did; you do. You adore each other more and more every single day.
Sometimes, perhaps, waking is a sweeter dream than slumber, when your love makes every moment like a new day. Makes each feeling cheesy enough to write in a greeting card.
You smile conspiratorially, fluttering your eyelashes at Santi. Pushing your luck, even though you’re already the luckiest woman in the world. “Have I charmed you enough for you to make breakfast, my love?”
“Breakfast, mi Reina?” Santi purrs, pumping his eyebrows. “You just lie back and I’ll take care of breakfast. I’ll take care of you, ‘cause, fuck, do I love you too.”
Yes, this is it. This is definitely what dreams are made of.
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angstysebfan · 4 years ago
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Laser-Like Focus - Chapter 1
Pairing:  Bucky x reader
Summary: You met Bucky while working with the Avengers. You fell in love and got married. One thing you had in common was to kill all members of HYDRA. Bucky for his known reasons, and you because they killed your parents in front of you when you were a little girl. Soon your focus on HYDRA pulled you and Bucky apart. He decided to leave the Avengers and after a long separation, sent you divorce papers. He comes back to get the signed papers, as he is about to get married again. But everything with you and Buck is an adventure.
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Flashback
You were sound asleep in your room, with your dog, Toby, snuggled against you. You are awoken by the sound of screeching brakes outside of your home. Suddenly your mother walks in, “Y/N, come on baby, we have to go,” she says in a panic before scooping you up in her arms.
As she makes it to the top of the stairs, your dad is running up, “They’re here! We have to go through the back way. Give me, Y/N, and you take the lead,” your dad whispers to your mom. Your mom passes you to your dad and you wrap your arms around his neck tight. Your dad put his finger to his lips to tell you to remain quiet.
The three of you quickly and quietly sneak down the back staircase, that only your family knew about. It brought you to the section of the basement that was hidden. Through the basement the three of you ran through the underground tunnel. You tried your best to remain calm and held on to your dad tightly.
Your dad was a scientist for S.H.I.E.L.D, and he knew HYDRA was looking for him so he can replicate the serum used on Captain America during WWII. He always had this plan of escape, just in case, but always hoped he never needed to use it. 
As you three made it to the end of the tunnel, your mother climbs out of the tunnel and grabs you from your dad. She races you behind some bushes and tells you to stay there. As your dad climbs out of the tunnel, he rushes over to where he has a car hidden and starts it. You mother grabbed some bags from the shed that was near the car and placed them in the trunk. 
As your mom went to retrieve you, they were surrounded by vehicles and men with armor and guns. Your mother looked to where she knew you were and signaled you to stay out of site. “Dr. Y/L/N, nice to see you,” a tall man with a Russian accent says. “I wish I could say the same,” you dad responds. “Where is the formula doctor? You don’t want your wife to get injured, do you? Or what about your daughter?” he asks.
“I don’t have it. It’s already with S.H.I.E.L.D,” you dad replies. The man shakes his head, “I see your wife here, where is that cute little girl of yours? Hmm?” he asks taking out a pistol. “She is staying with family,” you mom replies. The man tuts, “Shame, would have been more fun to kill all of you together,” he says before he shoots your mom in the head, followed quickly by your dad.
You wake up with a start, sitting up, drenched with sweat, and you heart racing. You look over to the other side of the bed and see that it is still empty. Another nightmare. They have been constant since that day in December. If they aren’t about the day your parents were murdered, it’s about the day the love of your life sent you divorce papers. 
You get up and quickly change into gym clothes, knowing sleeping is out of the picture at this point. You quickly run downstairs and grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and head down the gym. You tape your hands, knowing the only way to get out your frustrations was the punching bag. 
You start of slow, so that you don’t injure yourself, but as you start to feel the cathartic relief, you punch harder and faster. You think about the day your parents were murdered and how it changed you forever. You were rescued a few days later by S.H.I.E.L.D and put into foster care, as you had no other family. When you were old enough, you went back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and started training with them, quickly becoming a damn good agent. 
Along the way you became good friends with Natasha, and when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, she made sure you were taken care of. After the events of the Avengers Civil War, all was forgiven between Tony and Steve, and the Avengers were back together, with a new member, Bucky Barnes. Natasha reached out to you, knowing you were still an agent with another agency in Europe, and asked if you wanted to be a member of the team as well. 
You jumped on the next flight and met the team at the compound. It took you little time to become a hardworking member of the team, a member of the family, and mostly, a friend to Bucky. You both became close very quickly, understanding the meaning of losing everything. You both also suffered from nightmares, and made sure to help each other out. It didn’t take long for the friendship to form into a loving relationship, then marriage.
Bucky was the love of your life. He was the bright spot in your life of darkness, and he felt the same about you. You both loved each other with such passion, the thought of anything going wrong was unthinkable. You both also had a passion to make HYDRA pay for what they did. Bucky wanted them to know the pain they caused him, and you wanted sweet revenge on your parents lives. 
At first the need to beat and kill HYDRA brought you both closer, however as time went on, your thirst for HYDRA blood grew stronger and Bucky was looking for other things. Bucky wanted to settle down, start a family, and live a happy life. He realized to him that was beating HYDRA, but you wanted HYDRA to pay the ultimate price, and you wouldn’t stop until it was done. 
Your relationship with Bucky, though strong at first, started to fall apart. You did your best to fix everything, along with Bucky, but at the end of the day he wanted to stop fighting and live a life, and you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not until every last HYDRA member was dead. It broke Bucky’s heart the day he asked for a separation. He thought maybe separating would show you what you were missing. 
Bucky left the Avengers at the same time of the separation. He moved back down into Brooklyn, and he hoped and prayed for you to show up saying he was enough, and that he never saw you in the newspaper because you got hurt, or worse died. You both would talk weekly, hoping to come to an arrangement that would work, but alas nothing seemed to get your focus off of HYDRA. 
This past December you got a package in the mail from an attorney’s office. When you opened it you saw they were divorce papers that were already signed by Bucky. Your heart broke into a million pieces, and you didn’t know what to do. The team tried to get you to talk to Bucky, but you knew at this point you drove him away completely. You shoved the papers in your desk drawer to look at another day.
Since that day you have had frequent nightmares about the death of your parents, or getting those papers again, but in the dream Bucky gave them to you with no emotion. You would wake up the same way and in return, would come down the punching bag to relieve the stress. 
When the sun finally came up, you were dead tired, but still punching the bag. Steve and Nat walked into the gym. “Another nightmare?” Nat called out to you. You refused to look at them and just nodded, continuing to punch the bag. You felt someone walk up behind you and finally turned to look. Steve had a look of sympathy mixed with guilt. 
“Y/N, um... I hate to ask you this, especially since you are already having a bad day, but do you have the papers signed?” he asks. You look up at him, knowing Bucky reached out. You nodded, “Yea, uh. They are in my dresser,” you respond quietly. Steve nodded, “Ok, um... Bucky is stopping by today, to uh... to pick them up,” he says. 
Your eyes snap up to him. This will be the first time you will see Bucky in months, and the first time you will speak to him since he sent the papers. “Well he can come and get them from me himself,” you say. Steve knew you were going to play hardball and nodded before walking away. You untaped your fingers and headed out of the gym to shower.
Your soon to be ex-husband, who you are still madly in love with is coming to get the divorce papers. You had to make sure you looked amazing so you could show him what he is missing. You put a smile on your face and you removed the wedding band you still wore on your left ring finger. This was your chance to get him back.
--
Chapter 2
Well here is the start of something new. I am going based off of the relationship from the movie Twister, so if you haven’t seen it, don’t worry you will see what I mean. Enjoy! Feedback is appreciated!
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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago
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Suicidal Misunderstanding AU Part V (SW Time Travel AU #27)
Part I - - - - -  Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV 
After a meandering walk through what felt like every path the hanging gardens and marsh pools had to offer, Obi-Wan stopped to lean against a stone wall. 
“Obi-Wan? Are you ready to stop and eat something? As nice as this has been, I’m getting hungry and I’m guessing you are too.” 
Anakin was only being a little sarcastic. It had genuinely been nice to peacefully spend the day with Obi-Wan like this- they hadn’t been to the marsh habitats since the war started. He had resigned himself to watching Obi-Wan enthusiastically greet every wandering knight, master, and elder who they passed. 
It was actually starting to become impressive- Anakin never realized how many members of the Order his Master was friendly with- no wonder he was given a seat on the high council! But after the last heartfelt clasping of hands with a completely unfamiliar Bothan (thankfully for Anakin’s petty jealousy, Obi-Wan wasn’t hugging everyone), Anakin had asked who the knight was.
Obi Wan frowned. “No idea. But I suppose I must have seen him somewhere.” 
Anakin was no longer feeling impressed.
When a group of crechelings wandered by, Obi-Wan appeared briefly overwhelmed with emotion. His shields (apparently even better drunken than sober) didn’t let anything specific slip. But he knew Obi-Wan was feeling something intensely. Bizarrely, instead of saying hello, Obi-Wan hurried out and away with Anakin dragged behind, bringing them back to the stone wall and their skipped breakfast.
“Not yet.” Obi-Wan responded hoarsely. “I want to visit the Room of A Thousand Fountains first, and say a few more goodbyes.”
“Goodbyes?” Anakin asked, a slight chill running down his back. “We’re not shipping back out until the end of the week. Do you always say goodbye to everyone this thoroughly before redeployment?”
“No. Do you think I should have?” Obi-Wan frowned. “I feel like that would have been more upsetting than anything else.”
“Ok then, why are you saying goodbye now? To the whole order?” 
Obi-Wan didn’t reply, he just pushed off the wall to continue on his quest to apparently visit every corner of the temple.
“Master, please, you’re worrying me. If you won’t eat, then let me take you to the Healing Halls so they can check you over for drugs. We can visit the fountains after.”
Obi-Wan finally paused, thinking that over. “I would like to see Bant. She should be there, right?”  
Bant did end up being there, and was more touched than disturbed by Obi-Wan’s sincere joy to see her. While Obi-Wan wandered the halls greeting injured Knights, she ran several tests.
“As far as I can tell, all you had last night was human-appropriate alcohol. No force-user specific drug interactions, and no traces of Spice. It’s possible there’s something I missed, but your force presence doesn’t feel off balance in the manner I specifically associate with drug-induced altered perception. Your blood sugar is a little low and you’re somewhat dehydrated, especially considering you’re in the temple, not out on a mission.”
“I’ll take care of my physical needs after I visit the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Just because a vision isn’t purely induced by the force doesn’t mean I can’t draw meaning from it. I do appreciate how you always looked out for me though, Bant. I’ve missed your fussing.” Obi-Wan smiled, clasping one of her hands in his.
Bant sighed, “If Master Yoda wasn’t off world I’d urge you to talk to him. I haven’t seen you this shaken by a vision since we were younglings. Even if you do seem to be handling it fairly... calmly.” 
Obi-Wan laughed. “I’ll tell him you said that someday. I might be wrong, but I think he’ll be happy to learn about-” Obi-Wan gestured around vaguely, “all this. I’ll talk to him at some point. I’m sure of it.” 
She glanced over at Anakin, who had been a quietly looming shadow the whole visit. He seemed both relieved by the diagnosis as well as bewildered. “Can I speak to you privately?”
Obi-Wan nodded and Anakin stalked out of the test room. 
She scrutinized him, worry more obvious now, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you slipping tenses this whole time. You’re still not sure where your vision ends and reality begins, are you? Do you even know when you are?”
Obi-Wan looked down. “I know what’s real and what’s not. I’m just...enjoying not fully living in the moment. I have every intention of waking up.”
“Yeah, that’s a BIG red flag, Obi-Wan. Force.” She tilted her head back and forth, examining him with obvious concern. “I am scheduling an appointment for a soul healer and you are going to go, understand?” She demanded.
Obi-Wan agreed far too easily. She reluctantly let him leave with an earnest promise to eat something real.
Obi-Wan came outside to find Anakin pacing. 
“I’m glad you’re still here,” he told his former Padawan, ignoring the ache in his chest.
“Of course Ori’vod,” Anakin said, ducking his head with a shy smile. “What did Bant say?”
“She wants me to eat something real and visit a soul healer.” Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, I can do at least one of those things.”
“A soul healer! She thinks you’re crazy?” Anakin asked offended. 
“First of all, you don’t have to be unstable to visit a soul healer. I’ve seen them in the past, when there wasn’t as much wrong with me. I’m sorry if I led you to believe you couldn’t seek out help for your problems.” Obi-Wan said. Another mistake.
“I-I know that. I just thought, you know, Jedi can be judgmental of that sort of thing. A good Jedi is supposed to be able to just, meditate stuff away.” Anakin said bitterly.
Obi-Wan thought furiously. Was this why he had been so blindsided by Anakin’s fall? Had his padawan been so afraid of judgement that he hid all of the warning sides of his struggles with darkness? Maybe he could ask Owen for some sort of petty assistance when he brought over bantha milk next time, to demonstrate to young Luke that it was ok to ask for help. No, he was probably still too young for those sorts of lessons to have much meaning. The insight would require meditation, when he was more sober. 
Unsure how ‘Anakin’ would respond, Obi-Wan tentatively said, “You’re right, that some Jedi might judge for seeking such aid. But I think in the last years of the war, that sort of opinion became less and less common. After all, an ideal Jedi shouldn’t be leading an army. I don’t know if anyone can be perfect during war, let alone a peacekeeper.”
When that failed to garner positive or negative reply, Obi-Wan let out a breath. “It hardly matters, since I can’t exactly visit a therapist, let alone a soul healer, given my present living conditions.” 
Anakin seemed to process that, giving Obi-Wan a long, searching look. “What’s your next point?”
“Hmm?”
“You said first of all, and I think that was all one thing, so what’s your second point?”
“Not exactly being able to visit a soul healer regularly doesn’t count as a separate retort?”
“I guess? I’m just trying to understand what you’re trying to tell me” A twinge of frustration crept into Anakin’s otherwise level tone.
"I appreciate that, truly, and I regret the number of hurtful miscommunications that sprung up from me failing to do just that. Well, I suppose, by most reasonable standards, I am ‘crazy.’ Getting some help with unraveling my mind would probably be best, if it were an option, but it isn’t so...” Obi-Wan shrugged.
Before any followup questions could be asked, they finally arrived at the main entrance to the Room of a Thousand Fountains. The archway was stunning, water flowing upwards along the stone in intricate, shifting tessellations. When they stepped through, Obi-Wan was delighted to see Mace Windu sitting on a bench by the entrance. 
“Mace! I was hoping to see you.”
Mace looked at him. He seemed at first, to be utterly unsurprised by the duo’s arrival. But the longer he stared, the more visible shock overtook his features. “Master Koon recommended I look for you...force what happened.”
Obi-Wan just chuckled. “Oh you know. What didn’t happen.”
“What’s wrong?” Anakin asked urgently. “What do you see, Master Windu?”
Obi-Wan tried to wave them both off, laugh a little more forced. “Please, I came here to relax. I’m sure it would be easier to say what’s not wrong with-”
“Kark it, Obi-Wan this isn’t a joking matter.” Master Windu’s voice was calm, but insistent. He slowly started approaching Obi-Wan as though the fellow council member were a feral loth-cat. 
“You look as if...nearly every shatter point around you has broken open. Force, I think you’ve been carrying some of these with you since you were a child. Usually when things that deep break...And some of these- some of these are too big to have just affected you.” Mace hesitantly reached forward, brushing against something invisible.
A chill ran down Anakin’s spine, again. What the kriff did Obi-Wan see in his vision? Last night he mentioned the temple burning, their rooms turned to ash, and Anakin had just...let that go in favor of greedily spending time with this addictively affectionate version of Obi-Wan.
“Mace...” Obi-Wan groaned. “I had been wondering what you might say to me but this is...please, can’t you just give me a hug and let me enjoy the peace for one more hour.”
“Master Kenobi,” Mace said, seeming to revert to an even more serious version of himself. “What I see cracked open around you is bigger than the reemergence of the Sith on Naboo, bigger than the first battle of Genosis. Whatever has happened, you cannot possibly keep it to yourself, practically or morally.”
To the shock of both Windu and Skywalker, Obi-Wan actually rolled his eyes at that. “Mace. You are not telling me anything I do not already know. And I am choosing to spend a little longer enjoying the unique joys of the Temple before dealing with the harshness of reality. Haven’t I earned a small break? I’m not abandoning my duty, but if I don’t take care of myself where I can I’ll go madder than I already have.” 
At no point did Obi-Wan’s voice get whiny or upset, he just calmly dropped a series of bombshells like he was repeating an argument.
Mace and Anakin exchanged glances, but if Mace was trying to communicate something, it was utterly lost on Anakin. 
“Alright, Master Kenobi. I trust your judgement.” 
And, to Anakin’s shock, Mace pulled Obi-Wan for a tight hug. “And I care about you, Obi-Wan.”
For a brief, hysterical moment, Anakin Skywalker wondered if he was about to witness his Master break down crying on the shoulder of Mace Windu the Master of the Jedi Order.
But Obi-Wan just let out a slow breath and returned the embrace before bowing deeply in Respect. Windu returned the bow with a placid expression. 
“If you’ll excuse me...I think I’d like to stand by the waterfall alone for a moment.” He paused, turning to address Anakin. “If you’re willing to wait for me, I’ll happily rejoin you by the glowing mushrooms.” Anakin nodded silently and Obi-Wan beamed before leaving the two alone together.
Mace turned to the young knight in a silent demand for answers, and, for once, Anakin was eager to share what he was dealing with. “He came back drunk last night, talking about the temple burning down, and being well-”
“Unusually emotionally expressive?” Mace offered.
Anakin nodded. “Took a blood sample to analyze in the morning. He woke determined to hug every sentient being in the temple. I actually managed to get him to the halls just before we came here; Master Eerin said there was nothing in his system and...I just don’t know. He’s been off today, but not in a bad way, exactly. Could a vision have caused the shattering you saw?
Mace furrowed his brow. “Not any vision like I’ve ever seen but...these are dark times. And Master Kenobi has had historically bad luck. If some new cataclysm is coming for us- I absolutely believe he’d be the first of us to stumble into it. Something terrible and extraordinary must have happened in the 24 hours since I last saw him in person.”
A beat passed.
“I should go to the mushrooms before I lose track of him,” Anakin said quietly.
Mace nodded. “Skywalker, if you need assistance dragging him back to the healers for whatever reason, comm me, understood?” 
“Understood. Master Koon said the same.” the Knight replied, heart pounding.
The Windu clasped him on the shoulder firmly, "I’m going to check in with Master Eerin. It’s possible she has some suspicions that my observations will help her confirm. Until then...”
“I’ll look out for him.” Anakin promised.
Part VI
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