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aro-tarot · 1 year ago

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Can’t just have this be in the tags because YES to all of this.

Before all of the RSD parts, there are also little things too. Like, I’ve seen people point out how Jaskier keeps just trying to eat things. Desk of stuff for potions? Well, these are berries. I’ll eat those. Soup? I’m hungry! I’ll eat that. Wait. I don’t like carrots. Spits it out after since I didn’t look at the soup to see if I’d even like it. Then the salt this season… Jaskier’s impulsivity sometimes goes beyond just words. It just reminds me of when I realize that I’m hungry and nothing else matters because that’s now the only thing in my brain. If I wasn’t so indecisive than I’d probably also just grab the first thing in sight in the kitchen to eat. (Though I have, honestly, grabbed a bag of chips and ate the entire bag as a meal since it was the first thing I saw way too many times.)

Jaskier almost running right into a sign this season was also relatable. When you’re busy talking about something, it’s hard to notice what’s going on around you. It’s happened to me plenty of times.

And with wanting Jaskier there since he’d be the one to rely on in an intense situation made me think of how he’s literally turned into the one that grabs the injured out of the situation, and that also just shows his character as well. He might not be able to fight, but he goes right into a protector mode which we saw even in s1 where he was even willing to use his lute as a weapon to protect the lady he had been flirting with.

With RSD and s2, it was also painful for me to watch as well. I’d never had that happen in a show before. I mean, the other show I hyperfixate on is a tragedy. It might have made me cry at times, but that’s the kind of show it is. It’s ends up as a sort of whump fest for the protagonist especially when he loses his friend (which is also easily able to be seen as a queerplatonic partner, which is why I finally checked out the show to begin with.)

But unlike that show even, I’ve never felt so and that kind of uncomfortable watching a show like I did with s2. Like, I have no issue with whump. I actually really like hurt/comfort fics. The torture scene with Jaskier was no problem, and if anything, I really liked it. Yennefer came right in and saved him. It was my cup of tea.

But with how Jaskier was treated by everyone else this season?

That was painful. Even if we had seen even more torture and what Jaskier had been going through, it wouldn’t have been able to compare.

Like:

I didn’t like Jaskier and Geralt’s reunion. Jaskier is clearly upset, and he’s hiding some of that at first with humor since humor is clearly part of how he deals with being hurt, but even when he gets serious and tells Geralt to shut up because he needs to get it out, he needs to finally get how hurt he was even if he’s downplaying it, he can’t because Geralt needs them to go and save Ciri.

It was a no wonder Jaskier, even after having come that close to getting it all out, downplays it during the actual apology. He had to shut up because there are more important things going on, and he’s just Jaskier. When is he ever important? He’s just the bard that follows Geralt around and writes songs about him. (Probably the voice in Jaskier’s head.)

And then even before that, for me, what was even more painful was when Jaskier was calling himself stupid. He failed, and immediately he thinks he’s the biggest idiot. Especially since besides rejection sensitivity, I also have depression and anxiety disorder and a fear of failure, it was like looking at myself in a mirror.

S2, in general, was like looking in a mirror.

It had been easy to headcanon Jaskier as an ADHDer in s1, but s2? It went from a character that I kind of relate to into feeling like I was watching myself on the scene. The way that Geralt had treated him and how others dismissed him was something that I’ve experienced myself. Even pushing my hurt aside as if friends are just like that. As Jaskier was saying to brush it off and kind of bring it up to Geralt to see if they were at least still friends, friends come back. That’s just how it’s supposed to be, right?

And him being ignored was also painful since I’ve also been there. You try to just make a joke to make it not that bad, but it goes deeper anyway. Looking at s2, also had me wondering how much of this Jaskier had even dealt with off camera? Ya know?

That and seeing some of the people I used to follow dismissing Jaskier’s feelings of heartbreak over Geralt as ��clearly” having only been because Jaskier is “clearly” in love with him romantically, had me unfollowing people and trying to avoid mention of the scene. It managed to feel invalidating as someone that’s aromantic and also an ADHDer, ya know? Like, apparently I can’t feel that way towards people or strongly towards people. Luckily, my brother also found it very relatable as someone that had experienced something similar as an alloromantic non-ADHDer.

Okay, someone wrote that they thought Jaskier had ADHD in some of my tags, and I've just GOT to address this, because asfjasfljadsflasjd;dlasja;slfjd;as...

@aro-tarot , OMFG YES!!!

As someone with ADHD, I've got such strong ADHD vibes from Jaskier like you wouldn't believe!

(That, plus I tend to headcanon that Jaskier suffers from Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a condition strongly associated with ADHD, but more on that further down...)

I mean he's usually got no freaking impulse control whatsoever, and no filter on his mouth!

And even when he HAS that filter on, and some vague awareness that opening his mouth further and speaking his mind might get him into yet more trouble…

Well, the frustration he feels in the now is apparently so strong that the possibility of having to pay a price later is but a too distant and abstract concept to be enough to put a stop to that mouth!

I mean, that moment right here?

Someone without ADHD would have stopped themselves at "Am I going to say it?" because of the "Yeah, if I antagonize him, he might decide to keep me away from getting on that boat and I'll jeopardize my safety as well as the safety of the people that are currently counting on me," that should normally logically follow...

Someone with a very strong case of ADHD however... Well, they might just have to say it!

Same thing in Season 1 with the elves. Jaskier's bound and tied ,and he just keeps antagonizing them because he's angry, and the need to express his anger somehow screams louder than the punch or the kick he'll be receiving 2 freaking seconds later if he keeps verbally lashing out at them!

Self-soothing and impulse managing are two skills that Jaskier doesn't quite have a good mastery of.

Like, don't let him get his hands on a djinn while heartbroken, drunk, and deeply wounded (because his best and very possibly queerplatonic friend just insulted his singing, while implying that it was likely why his other friend/lover had just left him, no less)... He might just start wishing Valdo Marx dead!

Generally, I'd strongly advise keeping him away from anything that could potentially become a weapon if he's highly emotional.

That's never a good combination.

Jaskier might do something he'll regret, and realize it was awfully dumb and stupid only once he's deeply in trouble, or has finally calmed down.

ADHD isn't a mood disorder, but it's been described as a "failure to self-regulate moods disorder".

Meaning that people with ADHD feel the same emotions as anyone else most of the time (RSD is a bit of an exception; again, more on that later), but they'll just have a harder time avoiding openly expressing them, and stopping themselves from acting upon them.

They can succeed most of the time (thankfully); and I highly suspect that Jaskier might be at his most focused and emotionally measured around Ciri, because he feels responsible for her.

Adults often have this instinct to sacrifice their own needs and wants to give priority to those of children (including sometimes teenagers, and/or grown children they've adopted as part of their family system and are still mentoring through life).

People with ADHD also tend to have a blast playing aunt/uncle, because we can super easily connect with the sense of wonder, excitement, and defiance of authority of children and younger people - be very impulsive and silly with them and act like children and teens ourselves, at times - while still remaining responsible and protective of them when we need to be.

It's like suddenly flipping our "adult switch" on, because we're aware they need us to be the adult.

But fellow adults don't need us to "adult" for their sake.

They typically have their own shit together way better than we do! So, we're just that almost full time impulsive dumb kid that they need to constantly watch out for while around our adult friends.

UNLESS they make it extremely clear to us that they need our help and/or for us to focus. We can "adult" if the stakes are high, and/or they need our support, too.

But that's not our default mode!

We'd rather be chasing butterflies and playing videogames / writing songs (or meta... Meta's good... My brain loves meta because it's always over-analyzing things!), doing whatever keeps us interested and stimulated in the now, than carefully planning things and being responsible.

And there's also that scene where Jaskier is in the Witcher lab with Yennefer, while Ciri's possessed by Voleth Meir (you know... going around killing people, lives are at stake and all that...).

But, since all of this is happening in another room, Jaskier can't quite emotionally connect with the gravity of the situation, so he's eating whatever he finds his hands on while randomly talking about nipples because Yennefer said "oriole", and his brain thought it sounded like "areola" (yeah, our brains are always making a bunch of connections that aren't relevant to the situation)!

Yet, as soon as Yennefer makes it clear that she needs him to focus, he's 100% in the moment with her, and has flipped that "adult switch" on.

We can go there, but it typically requires a strong enough emotional incentive for us to ground ourselves, and it's a state that gets draining when sustained for a too long period of time.

And given how we're at our best when highly stressed, Jaskier's probably the person you want there with you when things start really going to shit!

He's at his best when he's got no idea what he's going to do, and he has to think fast and improvise to respond to whatever is happening in real time.

Oh, and I'm about 99.9% sure that he suffers from rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), too (yeah, we're finally going there).

I discovered what RSD was about 5 years ago, how it tied into my ADHD, and that it had been something that I'd been struggling with (and often doing everything I could to hide) my whole life without really understanding it.

One thing that people with RSD tend to do, sadly, is constantly downplay our own hurt and pretend everything is fine - do our best to keep others constantly entertained and happy with us, even at our own expanse at times - so that they won't perceive us as a burden, and will continue to want to have us around.

Since a part of us is deeply aware that our emotional response to real (and/or even perceived) rejection, and the pain it causes, feels way more intense than it normally should be, we tend to be ashamed of it, and unable to fully discuss those feelings with those we love.

So, even when we do speak up for ourselves, we are afraid that we might be exaggerating, and/or making the issue much bigger than it is.

Thus, we almost regret it right away, and/or feel guilty for it afterwards, and we'll be almost desperate to let our friend "off the hook" as quickly as possible so they'll love us again.

Therefore watching Jaskier's behavior in Season 2, and the way certain characters (except Yennefer, that genuinely surprised me) responded to him, was actually physically painful for me to watch at times.

Some of the most triggering moments for someone with RSD include:

Jaskier brushing off Geralt's sincere apology - attempting to hide the depth of the emotional devastation he'd caused him - to avoid being perceived as being too much trouble and risking abandonment again.

Jaskier humorously pretending that Ciri going past him, as if he didn't exist, didn't hurt, while joking "Like father, like daughter".

Him going "Right, yeah," when Yarpen Zigrin dismisses him - having chosen to turn that constant rejection into some kind of game between them - because it's much easier to be under the illusion that they're just good-naturally teasing each other, than facing the possibly that Yarpen might genuinely consider him an unwanted nuisance he'd gladly do without, and that having excluded him from the word "friend" was 100% done on purpose!

That same little heartbreaking "Right. Yeah" after he tells Lambert "Look at us. Just one big happy family, eh?" and Lambert goes "No." While pushing him out of the way.

Jaskier is a sweet, loving, empathetic, highly sensitive bard that's on the freaking aromantic spectrum!

And aromantics can most definitely love their best friend in the whole wide world with an intensity, a depth, a sincerity, and a level of devotion that can easily match - and perhaps even surpass - any romantic couple.

Heck, I don't consider myself to be quite on the aromantic spectrum (given that I do experience primary romantic attraction towards people), but I also have a tendency to form friendships that are more emotionally (and sometimes physically, and even sexually) intimate than many of the romantic relationships I've had (except, perhaps, my current one, that is definitely on par).

I think the only reason why I've managed to remain with the same romantic partner (that I do consider the romantic love of my life) for 17 years now - and would gladly spend the rest of my life with him - is because of how deeply supportive and respectful he's been of those friendships I have.

I've built my own found family over the years that I wouldn't want to live without. And I've broken up with prior romantic partners that couldn't agree to "share me" with those other people I love (in a non-romantic way, but that doesn't make it any less tangible or real!) without regretting a single thing.

So, I wholeheartedly believe that Jaskier does love Geralt and always has loved him.

And I know that, if I'm right about this, and if Jaskier is indeed prone to RSD, then the level of emotional and physical pain that Geralt's rejection put him through would have been absolutely soul wrenching.

"I've also survived, no thanks to you," sounds just about right.

Jaskier is human, while witches and witchers are frozen in time. He's been loving Geralt and travelling alongside him and singing songs about him for about 20 years.

20 years, in a human life, is a lot of one's life to devote to someone...

Then, the moment that Geralt's romantic love interest (Yennefer) leaves him, he turns on Jaskier and basically tells him that he's brought him nothing but bad luck and misery for two decades, and that what would please him ,above everything else, would be for life to rid him of him!

Why don't you just take a sword and run Jaskier through, Geralt? I think that would have been less painful to watch!

So, I think this is one of the reasons why Season 3 has been so freaking cathartic to watch for me!

I've been literally crying my eyes out each time people made Jaskier feel loved, wanted, said thank you (even Yarpen!!! Freaking Yarpen stopped to thank him, and called him by his preferred name, Jaskier)...

And of course, there's Radovid...

I could go on and on about how good it felt to have a character that finally treats Jaskier with the same care, attention, and empathy that Jaskier offers others...

But, I think one of the things I loved the most, with Radovid, is how Jaskier himself responded to him.

He's not trying to please him, quite the contrary.

When Radovid asks "Have you come to sing us pretty songs?", Jaskier answers "No. I don't do pretty".

And then, when Radovid says that, while he appreciates the information that Jaskier has brought him, all he really wants is a song, Jaskier responds by saying that "he's not really in a singing mood."

Because yes, he's a bard. Yes, he sings about people he's encountered on his travels, and yes, he sings about people he loves...

But he doesn't want to sing "pretty songs" about Witchers, fairytales, heroics and heartbreak for the entertainment of a Prince and his court!

He's not there so that "Prince Radovid" can sing the praises of "Jaskier the Bard" 's triumphant private performance at the palace!

That's not what pleases Jaskier anymore.

I don't think Jaskier feels like he's got anything to prove performance-wise anymore and, sadly, I believe that, instead of giving him a sense of finally being seen and loved - of belonging...

At times, all this singing and performing - often for the benefit of others - has made him feel even more invisible and isolated.

And that's the beauty of him singing "Extraordinary Things", because that song is all about Jaskier.

It's vocally raw, vulnerable, filled with a fragile hope for love and for someone that makes him feel like he is seen for who he is... For someone that can help Jaskier finally believe that who he is is enough.

For someone that makes him feel like he doesn't have to try so hard to pretend to be happy, and fine, and give others what he thinks they want, so that maybe they'll love him (or keep on loving him) back.

Because it's not just Geralt...

Geralt is the one whose rejection hurt Jaskier the most, because he's the one Jaskier has loved and trusted the most...

Geralt is the one that broke something in Jaskier - his ability to feel safe in the belief that his closest friends would never abandon him.

Thanks to Geralt outburst, Jaskier is likely now being cursed with a little voice, in the back of his mind, that will continue to pop up from time to time whenever he feels safe and happy in his relationships, to make him wonder if his friends and family don't secretly wish that they could get rid of him.

Rationally, I'm sure that Jaskier understands that what happened with Geralt was caused by Geralt's own issues, and that his own behavior wasn't the cause of the rejection.

Rationally, I'm sure that he can trust in their relationship, and feel confident in the love they share.

But emotionally? Although trauma can be managed and kept at bay the vast majority of the time, there are always moments where you're bound to be more tired, stressed out, and where you don't always have the energy to push back against all of those nasty voices that wait for you to let your guards down to be heard and make you doubt.

However, besides what specifically happened with Geralt, Jaskier sadly has a very long history of having had to deal with rejections of all kinds, and been made to feel like he was never enough.

Even Valdo's obstinated refusal to learn Jaskier's name is like he's constantly trying to symbolically murder Jaskier by denying him the very right to exist, for fuck's sake!

After watching those scenes, I thought "Yup! It's really no wonder this happened:

So, while having gotten Geralt back - and obviously having built strong emotional ties with Yennefer and Ciri since the end of Season 2 - has likely tremendously helped easing some of the pain rejection has caused Jaskier throughout his life, he still has those moments where it deeply hurts him.

And I think that Geralt knows...

Jaskier might have been trying to hide it - and Geralt might not fully understand why Jaskier was hurt as deeply as he was (I doubt RSD is something that people often talk about in their world) - but he knows that a part of Jaskier still fears being rejected or abandoned again.

He's just being so soft and patient with Jaskier this season; making it immediately clear that he's not angry with Jaskier, and that their relationship is not threatened the moment that he senses his discomfort.

Or, you know, just reassuring him that the separation between them is only temporary, and that he's going to be the first person he comes looking back for as soon as he's done dealing with Rience.

If Jaskier truly is someone that tends to see people as they really are - not as they pretend to be - then it's easy to see why Jaskier did fall in love with Geralt.

That level of perceptiveness is both a gift and a curse for Jaskier, though.

Because when the person you love is set on self-destructing and unable to embrace who they really are, you might find yourself caught in the blast.

Still, when Geralt is allowing himself to be loved, and to openly love people back, he's an absolutely wonderful (platonic, alterous, romantic...) partner to have.

He's shown as someone who is able to not only apologize, but also recognize the impact that his mistakes have had on others, and take full responsibility for them.

Jaskier may have been quick to brush his apology off and pretend that all was good, but Geralt apparently knows better and, more importantly, is showing that the apology was sincere.

He's making efforts to better communicate with Jaskier and he's doing everything he can to not only alleviate some of the pain he's caused him, but to avoid triggering his insecurities.

Sadly, RSD is not something that Geralt alone can fix, especially not when Jaskier has been exposed to a number of different patterns of interpersonal rejections throughout his life.

And, while Jaskier has a tendency to pretend being fine even when he's not, his eyes almost always tell the truth.

Makes you wonder just how emotionally smart and insightful Radovid is...

Because when someone sings to you those lines...

The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love Of them I have had enough With you, I have enough With you, I am enough I am, I am enough

Then looks at you with those eyes...

Well, it's rather easy to understand that Jaskier has been made to feel like he wasn't good enough for those he loved, and/or still loves in the past.

And, given the success of "Burn Butcher Burn", I wouldn't put it past Radovid to have guessed that - athough they were back to being close friends - Geralt might have had something to do with the enduring vulnerability and the hurt he saw reflected there...

Thus, leading him to taking an educated guess as to what might have happened, and ask Jaskier "Does the Witcher know how lucky he is to have you?"

Somehow, with that simple question, Radovid has achieved two very important things...

He's just told Jaskier that not only does he, indeed, believe him to be enough, but he would consider himself lucky to have him...

He's just told Jaskier that whatever Geralt might have said or done to make him feel unwanted in the past, it had been wrong.

And, judging by Jaskier's answering smile, our beloved bard just got himself a fresh new (and quite princely) voice in his head to help him drown out the sound of all the other voices that are occasionally trying to convince him that he's a barely tolerable burden to those he loves.

Radovid has thrown just enough shade Geralt's way to avoid insulting their relationship; while at the same time sort of giving Jaskier the permission to mentally go "Ha! See?! There are people that want and love me, and would consider themselves lucky to have me in their lives! God, you used to be such an asshole, Geralt!" should he still need to go there to help himself manage his pain.

As a victim of Geralt's harsh and cruel words, Jaskier is entirely entitled to have moments where he needs to be a bit petty about the way Geralt used to treat him, and to call him the "family goat".

It's a very healthy way of coping with the residual hurt and anger because it puts the blame in the right place (Jaskier didn't do anything to deserve the way he was treated by Geralt nor to provoke that rejection) with just enough humor to keep that pain and resentment from growing into something that could actually be damaging to their relationship.

Radovid is an impressively good and attentive listener - at least as far as Jaskier himself is concerned.

And maybe that's one of the (many) reasons why Radovid asking to borrow Jaskier's lute, and singing the song back to him, touched me as much as it did.

It stood in sharp contrast to people singing Jaskier's songs back to him while thinking it makes THEM special for knowing a few lines! That Jaskier should be grateful to THEM for being fans, supporting his art, etc.

The entitled patrons that believe Jaskier's singing should be about what they love to hear without being really interested in what Jaskier wishes to say.

Like that obnoxious guy at the docks who started singing "The Golden One" with Jaskier, basically going "See! I'm a big fan! That totally makes us buddies now! And, as such, here are my artistic input, so that maybe you can do better next time! You know, it's good, but it's not good enough for me. Here's how you can improve!"

Basically sending Jaskier the message: "You, the artist, the message and the feelings you are trying to convey through your art don't matter. You are but invisible. Sure, you have a name, and now I'm excited at the opportunity of making my friends jealous by saying I've met you! But you're just a tool that I can now use to make myself more important and interesting to others! Your job is to stay in the shadow of your songs! Your job is to make me happy, to entertain me, to please me, to sing what I want to hear the way I wish I could hear it and to make your art all about me."

Instead, Radovid simply borrows Jaskier's lute, and humbly starts playing the song with a sense of reverence, gratitude, respect, and desire to offer Jaskier something in return for the gift he's offered him by sharing a part of himself with him through his song.

Radovid said that he had long wanted to meet Jaskier in person and presented himself as someone that is a fan of his songs, but that's because they fascinate him.

He genuinely cares about what Jaskier has to say and communicate to others (and/or about others) through them, not about what he wants to hear.

In a world where Jaskier has had to constantly fight to fit in, where he's often made to feel like he's "barely tolerated" (and it usually takes a long time for people to get to genuinely appreciate him, and openly love him back the way he loves them)...

Radovid is someone that comes along showing him that love is not supposed to be earned.

Love is a gift. You love people for who they are, not for what they can do for you.

And what Radovid heard, through those songs, was something so special, intriguing, and irresistible to him that his own response was a genuine desire to get to know the man behind the art.

He tells Jaskier that the unique way he sees the world, and his need to express it, does not make him hypersensitive or annoying - it makes him special.

I don't think the hurt in Jaskier's eyes will ever 100% go away, and that his RSD can ever be completely resolved, either...

But it doesn't need to, because it can be managed and shouldn't get in the way of one's ability to experience joy and happiness, too.

Pain is a natural and healthy part of one's life, as long as it doesn't stand in the way of everything else - as long as there's balance, and room for healing whenever it comes along.

As as long as Jaskier's found family continues to love and accept him the way he is - to let him know that he's an important part of their lives - I believe Jaskier's going to be fine. REALLY fine...

Even the moments when he's hurting are going to be fine, because that's not all there is, and he's got people loving him and offering comfort.

And maybe I'm too hopeful about this, but I think there's most definitely hope for Radovid and Jaskier to make a relationship work between them, too.

Even if it turns out to be a somewhat unconventional one, and completely different from what people might have in mind when they think of a classic "romantic couple", they can find a way to make it work for them.

My advice to them would be to leave all expectations and social conventions at the door, allow themselves to be creative in "loving outside the box", and to build something together that addresses most of their respective needs, while acknowledging and respecting the other responsibilities and emotional attachments each other have.

Oddly enough, Jaskier is one of the few people that I could imagine clearly understanding that Radovid's existence is a bit of a tragedy where he'll never be free to fully belong to himself.

In the event of his brother's untimely death (for example), should Radovid decide to give up his claim to the throne to live a less complicated life, any Redanian ruler could still try to have him assassinated "just in case" he was to change his mind, and later come challenge them.

The palace is a golden cage, and I think Jaskier would not hold it against Radovid, or grow resentful towards him, that he would only be able to offer Jaskier what he is actually free to give without risking both their lives in the process.

He might grow frustrated with all the circumstances that are creating some significant challenges to their relationship, but I could imagine Jaskier wishing to face those as partners, and avoiding to be angry at Radovid for what he can't magically change.

This is where Jaskier's ADHD brain might become an asset by helping him make unique connections, and find creative solutions to allow Jaskier to - as Batey suggested - still find the light in the darkest of places for them two.

So yeah, I definitely tend to headcanon Jaskier as having ADHD (with some significant amount of RSD), too.

#anyway I think I’ve talked enough lol #obvi this was all such a good read!#I’m also reminded up like when I saw people complaining about Jaskier going off on that guy #because of what happened after #and like yeah people aren’t perfect #Jaskier was already known for us to have a lack of impulse control and be passionate about his music #and like the lengths I saw people going (which I just blocked to stop seeing it)#was sort of borderline ableist with the way I saw those people talk #and like s3 now with Jaskier being seen and respected is just so good #like the way Geralt has been I can see this as the apology ya know #it’s all just so good #and the romance and seeing aro spec Jaskier as well #like my aro heart is just more relating to him #and enjoying his character and seeing him on scene even more #I’m still seeing people say Jaskier is ‘clearly’ lying about having romantic feelings for Geralt #but also now with how this season is and seeing others see it without shipping it #which is fine itself but obvi the whole ‘it has to be’ is when it’s like eh #anyway I’m rambling lol #Des says stuff #jaskier #the witcher #radovid #radskier #adhd #the witcher spoilers

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haikyu-mp4 · 8 months ago

Text

Paradise

word count; 550 – f!reader

You just finished feeding your baby in the nursery before heading down the hallway to check in where your husband was responsible for getting your daughter ready for her first day in school. As you hear him talk, you stop behind the wall, silently leaning against it to take in the slow moment of the morning and listen to two of the three most precious people in your life.

“What do you want for your hair, princess? I was thinking this, maybe?” Tendo said, and you could just imagine him holding up the accessories he thought she looked the cutest with. Your husband might have seemed excited to help her get ready, but you knew him well enough to hear the nervousness behind it. It’s her first day at school and Tendo never had the most luck making friends when he was her age. How unlucky his daughter was to inherit so much of him, he thought sometimes. Curse his insecure thoughts, but he worried for her. “This bow suits your hair colour.” Her fiery red hair.

“Can you do the ballerina bun with the bow, s'il vous plait?” she asked, ever so politely practising her French.

“I can try, but it might not be as good as when your mom does it.” he said with a soft chuckle, already getting the hair gel and proper brush from the cupboard. Your daughter hummed her little songs, reminding you so much of your husband who somehow could follow along with her made-up lyrics.

Satori carefully distributed the tiniest amount of gel he would need throughout her hair and brushed it back, muttering small sorries when it looked like he pulled on some hair he didn’t mean to. After finally getting it in a hair tie, he had to stop and actually breathe. That’s when he noticed a small bump or two on one side, but he knew you could fix that later so he got started on the bun. The final product was nothing short of pretty good.

Your daughter carefully turned around on the step she stood on in front of the sink. “Up, up!” Satori lifted her and spun her around once when she made grabby hands for him to pick her up. Her giggles were such a joy that always filled your house with love. Satori was already thinking that they needed to take lots of pictures before you all left, but then his daughter's arms blocked his vision of the mirror. She was less carefully placing a matching bow in his hair, which the hair clip could barely hold on to at this length. It had grown out a bit since he shaved it last, so the clip held on for now. Pulling her hands back, she smiled at him and clapped. “It suits our hair colour, daddy!”

And when he looked at his beautiful daughter, he didn’t just see what he used to dislike about himself. He also saw so much of you. Your nose, your smile, your love. His daughter is really the most perfect thing he ever laid his eyes on, except maybe you.

Maybe he should trust that the universe has a plan for her, just like it gifted him with this family. His paradise.

“Let’s go make some new friends, miracle girl.”

masterlist

#tendou x you #haikyuu #haikyu #tendou satori #tendou x reader #tendo satori #tendo x reader #haikyuu tendou #haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq #fanfiction

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samieree · 3 months ago

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Peace, Wound, Scar. Again. || SW: The Acolyte

Qimir (The Stranger) x OC

-> Previous chapter -> Next chapter

Chapter VIII ''Consequences''

She was looking for peace, but it only lasted a few moments.

She didn't know what planet she was on, but she could be sure that she was experiencing some kind of vision. She couldn't tell what planet it was, but it didn't seem particularly friendly. The sun was covered by clouds, it looked like a downpour was approaching, something she really didn't want to experience. She stood in the middle of a paved road and didn't know what to do. She crossed to one side and stepped off the road onto the muddy verge, and then onto the grass.

Maybe a kilometer away was the edge of a escarpment, and below it were huge ocean waves, the sight of which almost made her knees buckle. She didn't go any closer, especially since the wind was blowing hard in her face and she had to squint. She returned to the street. Houses lined the street. It was daytime, but despite that there was no one here, maybe everyone was at their job? Or maybe this was some strange dream, and that's why it was so empty.

She still wouldn't know what to do with herself if it weren't for a woman's scream coming from one of the houses. She immediately ran there. The door was wide open, so she went inside, looking around for the person who was screaming.

The house wasn't big or in very good condition. Downstairs it consisted of a hallway, two rooms, a kitchen and a bathroom. Upstairs there could be at most a low attic. All the walls needed repainting, because they were already dirty or with peeling paint. Elyssa immediately ran to the smaller of the rooms, because that's where the noise was coming from. She stopped, grabbing the doorframe when she saw two familiar faces.

In the back of the room, a woman was sitting on the bed, hugging what looked like a two-year-old child. Both the child and the woman were crying, she must have heard her scream from the street. In front of her stood a man, a little older than her. He looked like he was defending her and the child from people she knew all too well.

"She'll have a better life than here, she'll become a Jedi." Lys entered the room to get a better look at the situation. Sol said it. He reached out his hand towards the child, but the man reacted quickly and hit it.

"We already told your friends when they were here that we won't give up our child." the stranger growled.

Sol - who looked younger here - looked to the side at the person who accompanied him, Vernestra. Lys took a few more steps to the side to get a better look at her former Master. She looked conflicted, unsure of what to do. What the man had said suggested that there had been some Jedi in this house before, probably those who had found a Force-sensitive child and done a test, but the parents had said they won't give up the child and the matter should be over... After all, they had the right to do so. So why were Sol and Vernestra here now?

It had to be the past, but why was she suddenly seeing it? Was this... her history...? No...

"The Jedi Order has been training successive generations of Jedi for thousands of years." Vernestra said and tried to approach the woman with the child. It seemed that she was still unsure of what she was doing, but at the same time as if she wanted to tell Sol to 'just get it over with'.

"But you have no right to take children away from their parents by force." the stranger replied, blocking the Jedi Master's path and trying to push her away at arm's length.

"She's our only child. We may not be the wealthiest, but we're doing fine! You can take everything from us, but not her! We wanted a child so much!" the woman added, trying to fight back tears and calm her daughter at the same time.

"What kind of child is born with a scar across half of their face?" Lys' former Master replied, continuing to struggle with the stranger.

My... father?

This... Is it me? Am I that child? They lied to me? I didn't get this scar, but I was born with it? But... Why? Why wouldn't they tell me the truth, why did they hide it from me? Why... Why I have it?

Lots of questions, but no answers, so Lys continued to watch the scene that was unfolding before her.

"Ours!"

"Move!"

"Vernestra!" their argument was interrupted by Sol's shout, indicating that Lys' father was trying to reach for Vern's weapon.

Everything happened very quickly. The man tried to reach for the lightsaber on the Master's belt. She couldn't allow that, so she quickly grabbed it herself. Unfortunately, a bit too late, because the man managed to grab the hilt. They struggled briefly, until a purple blade shot out of the saber and pierced the man's stomach, before Vernestra could move away or deactivate it.

Lys wanted to react somehow, but everything happened before she could run to the struggling pair. Would she even be able to do anything, since in the vision no one was noticing her, because all of this had already happened? She only saw him grab the hilt of the sword, and it being turned on.

For a moment, everyone was in shock. Almost everyone, because Vernestra managed to quickly shake it off - or at least that's what it looked like - and ran to the woman still sitting on the bed, and snatched the child from her arms.

Lys was no longer listening to what the Jedi were saying to each other, the words seemed to fly through her ears, but without understanding. She stood and watched as the woman - most likely her mother - struggled, not knowing what to do. She wanted to save her child, but the Jedi were already gone. She wanted to save her beloved, but he was already dead.

Finally, she sank to the floor next to him and placed her shaking hands on his shoulders, not stopping the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. She was mumbling something through her tears, but so indistinctly that it was impossible to understand her. And it would be hard anyway, because Lys could hear as if she were underwater. She stopped feeling her legs and the rest of her body, only heavy breathing and tears streaming down her face, but not before she felt their salty taste in her mouth.

She wanted to retreat, to leave this terrible place, to forget what she had seen, but as soon as she took a step back her legs buckled under her - or the ground caved in? She wasn't sure. Her breath caught in her throat as she desperately tried to grab onto something. One of her hands hit a rock, and the other immediately joined it.

She didn't want to look down, but she couldn't find any footing under her feet, so she had to. Below her was only a huge abyss, and at its end powerful waves crashing against the stones.

In a way, she felt like she was in her nightmare, when she couldn't reach the shore, which was so damn close. Now she couldn't pull herself up, her hands didn't seem to want to cooperate with her, and her tears - instead of regular water - were choking her. She really didn't want to fall, even though she knew that none of this was real, she was terrified of the pain of falling, of contact with water, of what awaited her there. She forced herself to pull her still slightly limp legs up and found support higher up, so she pulled herself up to her waist. Although her legs were still dangling over the edge, she felt a little safer - if she could even talk about any positive emotions at this point - when at least the upper part of her body was on the ground.

One of her hands clenched on a stone, the other on the grass - she also rested her forehead on it, trying to understand what she had just seen and what emotions were tearing her up. It was night, but still quite warm, and she remained in her position, allowing herself to cry.

After a few minutes, she raised her head and intended to pull herself up to the end, but then she noticed the woman, her mother. She walked forward with an absent look, stopping only at the very edge of the precipice, right next to the place where Lys was lying.

Her voice caught in her throat, she was unable to say anything, even though she really wanted to.

She had to get up first, stand on her feet and feel the ground beneath them, then it would definitely be better. She wanted to pull herself up, but then the woman suddenly leaned forward and began to fall.

A scream tore itself from Lys' throat, followed immediately by another, when she felt the ground begin to collapse beneath her and there was nothing to grab onto. With a scream she also began to fall towards the waves that seemed to be waiting to swallow her.

Suddenly everything stopped.

She was no longer there, but back in the cave, but all the scenes she had experienced were still flashing through her mind, and her heart was squeezed by emotions.

The mask hit the floor. Qimir was kneeling in front of her and holding her hands, but she could still feel them shaking. If it weren't for the fact that she was trying to control her breathing so as not to choke on air - or on the tears that were constantly streaming down her cheeks - she would have noticed the worry on his face.

So many thoughts per second, she still couldn't put them in order... Is this her past? Her parents... They didn't want to give her up. They loved her, loved her so much that they were ready to die for her. She felt stupid that she almost never spent time thinking about them. She asked herself why everything had turned out this way and not another, but she didn't pursue the subject in any way, and in the meantime...

The two people she trusted so much turned out to be the most unworthy of that. So many years. So many long years and no one told her anything. They didn't admit to what had happened. They didn't think she deserved to know the truth. They preferred to lie to her. It doesn't matter that she didn't ask. How could they look her in the eye? Had they forgotten how they had taken her from her parents illegally, by force? How Vernestra had killed her father?

No, she was definitely tormented by remorse, that must have been the reason she took her as her Padawan. She wanted to redeem herself somehow, but she had completely failed her. "You can trust me, as I trust you."

Lies. All lies.

Did anyone else know? If so, who? Does anyone know what happened to her mother? That she killed herself out of despair?

Is that why she had nightmares? Is that why she dreamed about drowning? Is that why she was so afraid of water?

"Lys, look at me." She felt one hand squeeze both of hers, and the other land on her face and gently wipe away the tears that were slowly stopping. Finally, her gaze stopped being empty, staring into nothingness, she moved it to him.

He asked her to do this because he was afraid that she still hadn't woken up from... whatever it was.

He had no idea that something like this would happen. If that were the case, he wouldn't have suggested that she put on a mask. He would never want to see her like this, tears streaming down her cheeks, shaking, terrified.

He would like to be able to offer her comfort, whatever she needed, a hug? He would immediately pull her to his chest, gently run his fingers through her hair, stroke her head. He would sit with her like that for as long as she needed, even a whole day. But he sincerely doubted that she would take such a gesture from him well.

"What did you see?" he asked gently, stroking the backs of her hands with his thumbs in a soothing gesture.

However, she abruptly ripped her hands from his gentle embrace and wrapped her arms around herself, not even answering his question.

She was holding back her emotions again. How much can you bear before you suddenly snap?

On the one hand, she didn't look like she should be left alone, but if she wasn't going to talk, maybe it would be best for her after all? He wasn't sure. He had one more thing to do himself, which in theory he shouldn't delay, but...

"Where are you going?" she asked, when Qimir stood up and started to walk away, but stopped at the sound of her voice. After a moment, a quite plausible answer came to her mind, so she added: "You still want to kill Mae."

He slowly turned around, looking her over. She still didn't look her best. She didn't want to tell him what she had seen, but it must have been awful for her and she should calm down, rest, before they fly anywhere.

"It will be better for you to stay here." he said finally, intending to leave without further discussion, but Lys stopped him again.

"And where do you intend to fly?" she asked, rising from her chair. "It will take you a long time to find her, you don't know where she is."

She paused for a long moment here. She didn't want Mae to get hurt, but at the same time, because of the inexplicable bond she felt with her, she could tell where she was and where she was probably going. And she was sure she wasn't alone, most likely with Sol. She had to confront him about what she had just learned.

Was all of this true? Would he deny it? Or maybe he would try to explain it somehow, as if the Order had done nothing wrong? She had to hear what he had to say to her on this subject. And Vernestra... She wasn't sure if he would be able to look at her in even the slightest part the same way as before.

"But I do." she finished.

He was absolutely not happy that she was right. He needed her, no matter how much he would prefer that she gives herself time to process everything she had seen. He couldn't stop her by force, even if he wanted to - especially since he had already given her the option to leave whenever she wanted.

"So we're going together."

He still wondered one thing: Why did she want to go with him to find Mae? It had to be something more behind it. He was afraid to find out how deep she just have been hurt and angry that she wouldn't let him comfort her.

-> general masterlist -> Star Wars masterlist

Tags: @linkpk88

#wattpad #wattpad writer #ao3 writer #ao3 #qimir #the acolyte #star wars #star wars the acolyte #qimir x oc #qimir fanfiction #yord fandar #jecki lon #vernestra rwoh #master sol #osha aniseya #qimir the acolyte #mae aniseya #enemies to lovers

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bahja-blix · 9 months ago

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😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)

Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.

What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?

Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself

When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.

Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?

We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!

I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣

Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.

I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol

LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂

I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂

Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the

"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez

I can't stop laughing 🤣

"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup

Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.

"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"

W H E E Z E !!!

this last bits my favorite part

"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"

(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣

"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"

Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.

PA THETIC

Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!

Fucking Cringe dude

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districtfourmermaid · 1 month ago

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It's the Nut!

I understand Gale's rage. I know it. I know that when Gale says they could block even the train tunnel, he's getting carried away, thinking only of what the Capitol did to District 12. What these people working in the Nut facilitated. Katniss knows it, too.

"'We watched children burn to death, and there was nothing we could do!' I have to close my eyes a minute, as the image rips through me. It has the desired effect. I want everyone in that mountain dead."

Katniss pulls back for a moment, because she's also from 12, and she likens the Nut to a coal mine. But who knows better than Gale what that would feel like? His dad died in the mines just like hers. She could barely stomach the annual field trip down there and hates the thought of him working there. But he worked there. He knows exactly what the avalanche would inflict on the people. He knows very well how it will feel. And he says that if he were a spy in the Nut, he'd say "bring on the avalanches," because he's committed to the cause and knows the rebels will never win without taking the Nut and District 2. Katniss would do it, too, be willing to die for the rebels if she were in the Nut. There are only a "handful" of spies, after all.

Boggs, of course, is steadier and suggests leaving the train tunnel open for surrenders. Gale is usually very reasonable, so this moment is odd for him. Who doesn't say things worse than they mean in fits of rage? After what he saw in 12, saving all those people and it still not being nearly enough, he's not out of line. But he may be slightly blinded by that rage. Once he calms down somewhat, even he sees that leaving the tunnel is right. He's just cautious, saying they should be armed, because those "surrendering" surely will be. And he's right about that, too (Katniss's spleen might want to weigh in).

At the end of the day, though, the Nut is a military base. It's the key to 2, which is the last stop before the Capitol. People are dying across Panem every day. The Capitol wants a ceasefire? No! The fire will cease when the people are free!And for that to happen, the Nut must be cracked. I do not have sympathy for the workers in the Nut who are not rebel spies. Those from either 2 or the Capitol who are genuinely fighting to keep the Capitol in power. They chose their side.

When talking with Beetee, Gale said they're using the same rulebook Snow used when hijacking Peeta. That would be the same one used when 12 or the hospital in 8 were bombed. But then, he's not. This is no where near as bad as what the Capitol has done. District 12 hadn't even officially rebelled yet. They never got the chance. The Capitol bombed a whole District of poor, malnourished, overworked, heavily policed regular people and followed up their bombing of 8 with hitting their hospital. I will never understand why people look down on Gale for suggesting violence may be required against a military base that launches hovercraft to go bomb more Districts.

After the bombing of the hospital on District 8: "I remember all those years in the woods, listening to Gale rant against the Capitol. Me, not paying close attention. Wondering why he even bothered to dissect its motives. Why thinking like our enemy would ever matter. Clearly, it would have mattered today. When Gale questioned the existence of the hospital, he was not thinking of disease, but this. Because he never underestimates the cruelty of those we face."

Katniss and everyone else needs to remember this. The Capitol's cruelty and the lengths to which Snow is willing to go to retain power know no bounds. There can be no progress without taking action, and holding back because you don't want to be too mean to an enemy who thinks of you as lower than dirt does not work.

#hunger games #mockingjay #hg reread #page 284 #gale hawthorne #Katniss Everdeen #Boggs #the but #district 2 #district 8 #Capitol #page 98

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aterimber · 10 months ago

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Hi!

I saw your posts in the tags about deleting all reblogs! I went thru your blog to see what was wrong and it looks like Zionists have been harassing you about antisemitism until you stop talking about Palestine.

In so sorry about that and don't fall for it!!

To clear down things up: nativenews isn't antisemitic. They're pro-Palestine and support a decolonized solution which Zionists HATE and that's why they're saying nativenews in antisemitic. Zionists are calling ANYONE who doesn't support Israel or a 2state solution an "unsafe" person for Jews which doesn't even make sense.

That'd be like if Americans said "you're anti-american and unsafe to my well being because you think native Americans deserve equal rights. Natives obviously just want rights to get revenge on us, how could you possibly suggest supporting them."

That doesn't even make sense and it's obviously just a racist excuse for Americans to keep their privileges over natives right?

Same exact situation is happening.

Jewish Zionists like to pretend Israel is a Jewish state but it isn't. There are Christians and Palestinians and Muslims who live in Israel too. It isn't specifically anti-Semitic to criticize a government, regardless of it's population.

People criticize the USA all the time and who are the only people that get mad about it? Patriots and racists who want to ignore their problems, right? And should we stop talking about those things cuz they're uncomfortable? Course not. They are the Reason we talk about it, right?

Zionists are the same. And the doubt they are planting in you about your voice is their goal. One less voice speaking up for Palestine helps theirs get louder.

Please don't delete your reblogs.

Nothing you've done has helped out Jewish lives in danger JUST because they are Jewish. And that's what antisemitism is.

Antisemitism is not when you have opinions Jewish zionists don't like or reblog from people that Jewish zionists don't like, I promise.

Hi Anon!

Thank-you for the message!

Also, thank-you very much for that explaination. What you said definitely makes sense to me. As I've said, I'm not very knowledgable about what has been happening and was only attempting to help, which it had been pointed out to me that was not what happened.

I'm attempting to learn so I can make informed decisions going forward and listen to the people who I was attempting to help.

To clear things up: I am against murder. Period. (Yes this includes animals, but that's not the point of this post)

If you are pro-murder, I do NOT agree with you. Unfollow me, block me, whatever.

This is why I felt sick when I was told the post I reblogged from NativeNews could possibly get people killed. That is why I went to the extreme lengths of taking down every other post I had reblogged mentioning Israel and Palenstine and wrote the apology post.

I was trying to spread information to stop people from dying, not contribute to it.

#q and a #questions #israel #palenstine #jews #jewish #antisemitism #anti murder #personal #anon ask

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jumpthatjump · 5 months ago

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wip, spoilers for infinite wealth

Title: Hawaii...2! Pairing: Eiji/Ichiban Word count: ~800 Rating: E, for now Part 3 of ?, Part 1 Here, Part 2 Here Summary: The two of them are re-doing a Hawaiian vacation--properly this time. (Going shopping...sort of)

They did not make it to the shopping center.

Ichiban got distracted by another ABC store and he just had to go inside, as if this one was different from the others on every block.

Eiji had at least allowed himself to be convinced to take off his hoodie when the sun began to beat overhead and shine brightly against the buildings they were surrounded by, and was sitting on a bench waiting for him since this was the third one he wanted to duck into.

The first one they came out with a warm two pack musubi for them to share. The next one a single bottle of passion orange juice–with two straws–which prompted Eiji to ask if he was already out of cash, with Ichiban insisting that friends share drinks, Ei-chan.

Friends.

He had wanted that friendship when Ichiban offered it so freely back in his apartment before he turned himself in, had accepted it when Ichiban met up with him again after it was all over, but something about being here made him feel like he didn't deserve it.

It was walking down the same sidewalks they did when they first talked together, it was seeing the same buildings they went in before when he had been lying to and scheming and manipulating Ichiban. It reminded him of the distress on the other man's face when he happily revealed his plans, of the anger in his voice when Eiji continued to hurt him, and of his desperate pleadings for him to stop.

…Maybe it was a bad idea to sit here alone with his thoughts, with familiar sights around him. And even though he hadn't seen certain groups of people around, it didn't mean they weren't somewhere.

This was supposed to be about forgetting those memories, but it wasn’t that easy. He wasn’t Ichiban.

“You all right?” Ichiban sat right next to him. “You’re looking a little down.”

“...Just thinking.”

“Good thoughts, I hope.”

Eiji didn't quite know what to say, but Ichiban gave him a moment, the silence between them somehow not stifling.

“Kasuga-san,” he finally said, eyes downcast. “I should thank you.”

“Who, me?”

Even though Ichiban sounded confused, the old him would have been convinced he was being coy, as if he didn't know exactly why and was fishing to be praised. He knew better now.

“Yes,” he said softly. “For everything.”

Ichiban didn't miss a beat, as if he had been waiting for this moment.

“Then I should thank you, too.”

It was Eiji's turn to be confused. “For what?”

“For not giving up,” Ichiban said easily. “It’s hard to reach out to others, or to accept the help that's being offered. I’ve seen it happen way too many times.”

He looked at him straight in the eyes, sounding so genuine and so delighted. “And you gave me a second chance with you.”

Eiji could not help shooting him a look of sheer disbelief. “I gave you a chance?”

As if Eiji hadn't been the one to attempt to ruin his life, to hurt him physically and mentally, to–

“You're here, aren't you?” Ichiban broke through his spiraling thoughts with a gentle tone. “I think the fact that we’re both here means something.”

Eiji made a helpless noise at that. “What do you mean?”

Ichiban just gave him a shrug and a smile. “We can figure it out together.”

He didn't give him time to think further or to protest, distracting him by continuing to talk.

“Anyway. Here.” He handed him a tiny white paper bag with the ABC store logo on it. “What do you think?”

Inside was a pair of earrings of white plumerias with a burst of blue in the middle, and hanging from a length of black metal links.

Eiji stared at it, speaking tonelessly, “Buying a souvenir?”

“Yeah, for you.”

Ichiban said it so simply, it shook him out of the numbness he was falling into.

“I saw it and it reminded me of you. I think you’d match.” Then he puffed up, looking super pleased with himself. “My friends say I’m the best at choosing gifts.”

Eiji's throat began to hurt.

Ichiban had noticed he liked the colors and the flowers at some point, had somehow noticed his pierced ears even though he hadn't worn jewelry in how long. Eiji realized at no point had he done anything for him, had not given anything to him.

He probably would have broke a little right there if Ichiban hadn't leaned in and said in a worried tone,

“I hope it fits.”

Eiji almost laughed at that. “You hope it fits?”

Ichiban did laugh. “Is that weird to say?”

It was. It was dumb and ridiculous and–

Eiji let out a breath as he straightened up, feeling lighter. “No.” He held up the earrings to see them again. “But they'll fit. Your friends were right about you choosing gifts.”

#spoilers #eiji mitamura #ichiban kasuga

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three--rings · 1 year ago

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Car Accidents for Writers and/or The Curious

So two days ago (as of first writing it's now been two weeks) I was in a major car accident at highway speed. Luckily, I'm mostly okay, my car protected me and only my heel is broken. But going through that was an experience and a very weird and foreign one so I wanted to write it down, especially for any writers depicting car crashes.

So first of all I was driving a brand new 2023 Kia Forte. A car with lots of technical bells and whistles, full modern safety everything. Thank god, although it was only 3 months old, it probably saved me from further injury.

So what happened immediately before the crash is what I'm most hazy about in my mind. I remember seeing the car on the left, it was at a crossroads where my highway traffic doesn't stop, but the crossroad traffic does. So I THINK the other car was stopped at the intersection when I first saw him, but honestly I am not sure. I saw the car, it was heading for the space in front of me, and I had time to think "he's gonna see me and stop right...what the FUCK" --impact.

(Edit: Two weeks later - Upon thinking more about it, I think that I saw him start to move but thought he was surely turning right, because he wouldn't go straight when I was right there. It would have been perfectly legal for him to turn right then. But then by the time I realized he wasn't turning and was coming right for the space in front of me...it was too late to do anything.)

Rest of the post cut for EXTREME Length as well as accident details and medical details of the ER trip both of which could be triggering. Nothing bad or gory or anything, just, some people might not want to read them.

I think I may have actually been yelling WHAT THE FUCK as I hit him. It felt like I had a split second to hit the brake, which was not nearly enough time to accomplish something. In that I did hit the brake but it barely slowed me before I hit. I was traveling around 70 mph (which is the speed limit there).

So the impact. All I remember is sudden whiteness blocking my view, along with the force, something impacting me in the face. I had a split second where I thought "Okay this is it, this is real, I might be about to die." (Note: I was also able to accurately report where on the car I hit (rear passenger door) but not the type of car. I said sedan, but it was a minivan. I said white, it was silver.)

Oh and right as the impact happened, as I saw the door of the car I was about to hit, right before the airbag popped, I had the thought/sensation of "wait, no, do it again, wait rewind, wait, reload the game." It was the sensation that I, as a gamer, have when I fuck up in a video game. The instinct that has you reach for the pause button or the reload button or whatever. That's what I felt, except of course it was real life and I couldn't try that again.

So the air bag popped and blocked all of my view, so I suddenly had no idea where I was, which way I was headed, etc. Except the car was still moving, my foot was probably/possibly still on the brake and my hands were I think still on the wheel. (All of this, I don't really know for sure.) Probably not still steering, but I feel like I was? IDK.

The next thing I knew I felt a second impact as my car hit a metal pole with a highway sign on it, shearing it off entirely. I saw the sign fly past my car through whatever gap was visible to the upper left side past the airbag. So I knew what I had hit. After that I was on grass and the car came to a pretty quick stop. (note this car also has auto-braking when it senses something in front of you, but obviously it couldn't stop itself fast enough either. )

So the car stopped and I was sitting there and my first thought was "okay I have to get out of the car." I could smell smoke and oil/fluidy smells and my car was making a bunch of weird sounds so I was scared it might catch on fire or whatever. So I reached under the side airbag which was blocking the top half of the door and opened my car door, which opened fine. I undid my seatbelt and grabbed for my phone from it's place on the center console under the dash. I knew in my dazed brain that my phone was Important. I needed to Call Someone? Maybe 911? Maybe my husband?

So, clutching my phone in a death grip (not thinking about taking anything else) I crawled under the side airbag and basically fell out of the car onto the grass.

Immediately upon trying to get out I knew my right ankle was hurt. I've had a lot of ankle sprains in my life and I looked down and saw it starting to swell and knew I couldn't stand on it.

Pretty much immediately, or within seconds there were people there. There was a gas station on the corner so either they were there or they were stopped at the intersection waiting to turn going the opposite direction from me. (God I've just thought I could have easily hit them if I'd gone left instead of right. . . that was lucky.)

The two people who arrived, who had witnessed it were a black man and a white woman, I can vaguely picture them, though couldn't pick them out of a lineup fyi. They kept offering to help me up and I told them no, my ankle is hurt, I can't stand. They asked if anyone was in the car and needed help and I said no. As new people arrived I heard them tell new people that no one was trapped. I guess I was vaguely aware that there was a second car also stopped, but I filed that under Someone Else's Problem and focused on me.

Oh wait, I've just remembered I think I was standing on one foot, holding onto the door at first, when the woman came up and asked if I was hurt. Because I was brushing off my front...so here we get into weird details okay. So I was wearing a steel boned corset under my clothes that I always wear when I go out, for back support. It's custom made by me. And I noticed right away that the impact had bent the front busk of the corset. This is a heavy duty steel busk, extra wide, so it's almost 2.5" wide piece of heavy steel. And instead of my stomach impacting the steering wheel or WHATEVER, it bent it up to almost a 90 degree angle.

So I was noticing that, but also, I thought I might be on fire. I was very HOT. My clothes were hot to the touch, the front of my dress felt like it had almost been singed. I kept touching and checking myself to make sure I wasn't on fire anywhere because of how hot my clothes felt. I assume this is from the air bags and the force of the impact and the explosions that send them out...IDK. But yeah I was hot. So I kept touching my stomach and clothes and people kept asking if I was hurt and I said "No, I don't think so, just my ankle."

At first, though, I couldn't form words. People were asking if I was okay and I couldn't answer. I think maybe I nodded. So my responses were probably more like Yes and No and "Ankle" than I remember. I just remember some serious floaty, disconnected, stunned mindset where I couldn't make words right. Lasted maybe less than a minute or a minute or two, not sure.

Basically I laid on the ground and just breathed and tried to chill for a few minutes, responding as people came up and asked me things. I think I repeated a couple of times "he just drove right in front of me..." and witnesses backed me up, saying they were there and saw the whole thing and yeah he just drove right out in front of me.

Throughout this, the surreal thing was that my car was still running and still playing my music. So poppy Janelle Monae was playing from my car. I finally was able to coordinate enough to pause Spotify on my phone so it stopped. I asked one of the bystanders if he could turn my car off with the on/off button because I was worried about it.

A state trooper arrived fairly quickly and came over and asked me first if I was hurt and if anyone else was in the car. I told him about my ankle and no. He said "okay you just sit there [on the grass] that's probably the best place for you. EMS is on their way, should be a few minutes." To which I nodded. He then asked me for my ID. I told him it was in my purse which he fetched from inside the car and handed to me to find my wallet and pull out my ID. He asked me for my basic version of the accident, which I was pretty vague about "I was driving and he just pulled right in front of my car and I only had a split second to brake."

He asked which direction I was traveling, how fast I was going. When I hesitated over that answer he said "highway speed?" and I said "yeah, 70-75." I was slightly worried about admitting I was technically speeding to a cop, but he just nodded and was very chill about everything, so I wasn't TOO worried. He asked a little more after a couple minutes like which direction the other car was coming from and which lane I was in." Then he said he was going to talk to the other driver. At which point I remembered there was another human being involved and I asked if they were okay and he said yeah seems like it, they're just a little queasy from the seatbelt.

So from where I was on the grass and not moving, basically I was sitting in the V formed by my car and the open driver door, so I couldn't see the other car and had literally no idea about the other driver, couldn't have told you their gender or race or anything. I never saw them. (Later the police gave us their details and it seems to be a man, but their name and city is literally all I know.)

At this point I was starting to feel more together. I had been playing with my phone, trying to call my husband. But for a while I couldn't make my fingers find how to call him. And then I did it, but the call wouldn't go through. I was in a fairly isolated area with poor cell coverage, it's basically in the middle of a bunch of fields of corn and cotton and shit. So I was calling but not hearing anything on the line. And meanwhile people kept talking to me and the car was honking nonstop. Even after I got him to turn off the car, it was still making honking car alarm noises. Like yes car, I know you are in distress but please shut the fuck up.

I texted my husband instead. He was texting me by then because he could hear when I called him and he knew something was WRONG. So here are the texts. It's pretty funny.

Cat totaled. Of course I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see anything very well. I had been wearing sunglasses with bifocal reading glasses in them but they were uh, removed by the airbag. No idea what happened to them. He called me thankfully and that call worked so I told him where I was and that I was okay except for my ankle, etc. Of course I'm like the car, the poor car our new car is totaled and he's like fuck the car are YOU okay, etc.

Also when I exited the car, the witnesses kept telling me I was bleeding on my lips. I touched them and could tell my bottom lip was split. So I was like, yeah it's okay just my lip. Presumably from the impact with the airbag. It's cut on the inside from my teeth and still very swollen and in my way.

So I pulled my backup sunglasses from my purse and put them on to block the sun and laid back in the grass to chill. What sucked was that this is Texas and the grass had ants and they were crawling on me, but what could I do. I looked behind me and there was only more grass with car shrapnel and the highway which didn't look more comfortable to sit on. I asked the officer to get my tote bag out of my car, the bag with my dnd stuff which had a water bottle and can of coke in it. He got it but the coke can was totally dented and I couldn't open it. So I drank the water very gratefully because I was super thirsty.

oh and about this time the cop gave me a long speech about "You should drink a lot of water tonight and try to do some moving around because you're going to be sore and being in a car accident releases a ton of lactic acid into your body like you did a very strenuous workout...etc. " I basically just nodded and was like yeah i'm gonna be really sore.

At this point I figured I just had a sprained ankle and I would go to the er and they would check me out and I'd get an ACE bandage and be fine basically. I realized that the injury was from me trying to brake, standing on the brake and when the impact happened all that force transferred directly into my almost straight leg.

So the ambulance arrived and they came and asked the same questions. They had a bunch of people come to help get me to the stretcher. Basically they grabbed my arms and shoulders and pulled me backwards, telling me to push myself with my good leg. So I did that with them holding me up until we got to the stretcher and I sat down and swung myself around and was strapped down and lifted into the ambulance. They asked me if I had a preference for hospitals to go to and I told them the name of the big hospital nearby which I know our insurance works with because one of my doctors is there.

Then they just started asking me a bunch of medical questions about medications and conditions which I basically had to simplify, leaving out some of the minor things I have going on. Like I didn't mention depression or the antidepressant I take. I only told him some of my meds for my back. Not sure why, it just seemed like I needed to get important things across only.

He asked about where I hurt and I at that point told him about my shoulder hurting in addition to my ankle. He also told me about how bad that intersection is for accidents and how he'd been out there about an hour before for another (more minor) one and we talked about whether they needed to install a light there.

He was really nice and I liked him. I sent a text to my dnd chat while riding that told them I wouldn't be at the game. In the ambulance they checked my vitals and also took my blood sugar which I thought was kinda weird. I guess it's just standard.

We got to the ER and as they wheeled me through I heard the people saying "trauma 2, trauma 2 in room whatever, the trauma is here." So I realized that was me and they were treating me like a Serious Patient and not just an ankle. As I was rolled into the room a veritable swarm of people came with me and pulled me from the stretcher to the bed, bringing a lot of grass and dirt with me, by the way, which no one but me seemed to notice (And the nurse later).

Then they were trying to get my clothes off and a young man approached me with surgical scissors and said "Okay we're just gonna cut this off you" and I was like "No, please, can you not, I just finished sewing this!" and thankfully they were like well let's try. I was already like, I can do this, and pulling up my dress and wiggling. They probably didn't want me moving myself that much, but fuckit, I spent months on that dress I didn't want it ruined. (It ended up torn about an inch down at the neckline and has a couple inch long tear in the skirt from either me crawling out of the car or them pulling me to the stretcher.)

Oh and I had to tell them "I'm wearing a back support corset under here so it will be weird" but they were like "that's no problem" and they just reached down and pried the busk apart, (with me sucking in to help them) and pulling it free. So that was one anxiety gone. So anyway, they finally got the dress and all my shirts off while they pulled my bra free also. It's definitely weird having a swarm of people you can't really see grab you and start tearing off your clothes. I wasn't feeling at all worried about being exposed or anything, my only concern was for my clothes. Finally I was naked except for my underwear and they put a gown over me.

And then hooked up a bunch of wires and stuff. The EMT had started an IV in my hand but not given me anything. They also didn't give me anything yet, though I THOUGHT they'd hooked me up to saline or something but turned out no.

Then I talked to the doctor and repeated all my pains. They were like okay we'll get xrays and check you out all over. So they did the xrays in the bed and I had a really hard time moving my foot/ankle the way they wanted because I was like "I can't move it" and they were like, but okay flex more and I'm like "I can't." And then turn it to the side and I'm like, uh, it's not moving. And finally I had to like turn my whole body to the side to get the position they wanted.

Then they took blood and mostly left and there was one nurse left. "Can I have some water?" I asked, my most pressing concern because I was DYING of thirst. She was like "uh we have to wait and ask the doctor." And then a little while later she was like "is there anything I can get you?" and I'm like "again, water?" and she's like okay lemme go check.

So I finally got water and I asked the lady taking my blood if she could hand me my phone from my purse. So I had my phone hurray although I still had no glasses and couldn't see. But my texts showed my husband was outside so I asked if he could come back and they said sure. It still took a little while but they finally came and asked me again if family could come back and I said yes and then there he was.

Obviously that was a huge relief because I could ask him for stuff from my purse like my glasses. And we mostly just talked and looked at stuff on our phones while waiting for results. So finally the doctor comes back and is like so okay actually you have a broken heel bone and we're going to put you in a splint for now and then you will follow up with an orthopedist. And he did that and that was pretty painful. By this point they'd given me something in my IV that was helping with the pain but still having them try to force my foot upright was super painful.

Then they said they needed a urine sample and the nurse was like do you want to try a bed pan or me to do a catheter. And I'm like I guess bed pan. Which, I didn't know, is basically just a hard plastic bowl that you sit on and the edges dig into your butt and thighs. And she tries to explain how to go and I'm like okay I'll try but I totally failed. Because I was still massively dehydrated. I'm like "if you'd given me more water like I asked, I might be doing better at this." Finally they started me on IV fluids and I got my husband to get me my water bottle. Then they did a catheter except they still couldn't get urine and they did it a second time with a better nurse and finally they made me laugh and that made some come out so they made me keep laughing until they got enough of a sample. So I'm definitely making the nurse stories for that one.

By the way, did the catheter hurt. Yeah, a little. It feels like what you'd expect. It's pokey and doesn't feel good, but once it's in you can't feel it. Also I was told my "anatomy" made it easy to see what they were doing which, I'm like is that a compliment on my pussy or what?

Anyway after that it was just waiting waiting waiting. They were checking for damage to my kidneys or I guess other indicators through blood tests because they came back to draw more blood twice.

Finally like five hours after the wreck they let me go. And gave me very little information about anything, actually I could complain a lot about the way the ER handled things but like that's not the point here.

We were both obviously starving because we hadn't eaten so we had to drive through the only thing open which was a 24 hour mcdonalds.

They didn't give us crutches, just told me to use them, so we had some from when my husband was in a car wreck and wheelchair bound for months. So he had to go in the house and find those and bring them out to me. Our door is very far from the driveway so I had a long way to go on crutches and it was very difficult given my pain situation and how my shoulder and ribs on the right side hurt. So once I finally got to the door he got a rolling chair that I sat on and he wheeled me to the bedroom.

That night once the meds they gave me in the ER wore out I was in terrible terrible pain. I'm a chronic pain patient on an opioid patch and it was insane. Ten on the pain scale. I wont go into too much detail but god I wanted to die or like, just cut my foot off. I took pretty much anything I could to try to help the pain, after some quick interactions googling. And took an edible we had and that was what finally let me get any sleep about 5 in the morning once it kicked in.

It's now two weeks later and...what is recovery from a crash like that like? Well it sucks honestly. I got very lucky in my injuries but the broken heel is way more painful that I would have imagined, sometimes radiating pain all the way up my leg to the crotch. And worse than that has been the rest of my body that didn't get diagnosed with any injuries but obviously went through major trauma.

My ribs have been very sore in a couple different places, making it difficult to move, sit up, lay on one side, reach for things, laugh or cough. And I pulled something in my right shoulder though they didn't see any damage on x-rays but it's taken two weeks to start to feel like I can use my right arm much or move it without terrible pain.

I've spent most of my time on pretty heavy meds, thanks to my pain doctor, but still all the time I've been massively uncomfortable. And trying to do anything is really difficult because I have to use weird muscles to pull myself up to standing or whatever without putting weight on my right foot, and then those muscles have gotten sore. It was about two days after the accident I reached peak Body Pain, after trying to get around on crutches with an injured/bruised ribs and messed up shoulder. I got to the point I couldn't get myself up to go to the bathroom on my own at all. Thankfully then I got a kneeling scooter thing which is an absolute requirement for getting around in this state.

So yeah today is two weeks and I feel like I'm just starting to get back to almost normal functioning, except for my broken foot. Taking meds less often, and then only because the foot starts throbbing. (Did you know heels are very painful things to break? Neither did I? I'm lucky I don't need surgery because frequently this injury can cripple you if you don't have surgery.)

Anyway, I don't know if anyone will have read all this, but I feel like it's worth documenting the experience. I was originally going to post this within the first few days of the accident but then the real bad effects started kicking in and then uh, there was the Lahaina thing. (My closest family lives there. They are safe along with their house but...my little tragedy didn't feel important in the face of that.)

At any rate, please drive safely, this experience sucks and I don't recommend it.

#tw: car accident #tw: car crash #tw: medical #personal #threerings' stories

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thoughts-of-an-x-factor · 4 months ago

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STAR WARS: COURIER

Chapter One: Up In Flames

Jax Vell had just finished celebrating his 17th birthday in the city of Aldera, and was cruising across the plains of Alderaan when he first noticed the smoke. Once he realized it was coming from the direction of his home, he kicked his speeder bike into high gear in a panic, his long, almost snow white hair whipping in the wind as he raced along the familiar path, concern for his parents, and his brother, growing with every second. As he reached the final hill crest, he saw the one thing he was hoping not to see. Flames engulfed his family's home, which seemed to be surrounded by unfamiliar men wielding blasters. He wanted to rush in, to do something about it, but he knew he was no match. "I'm practically still a kid, what am I supposed to do against armed thugs?", he thought to himself as he quickly stopped the speeder, and got down low behind a rocky outcrop. A few moments passed as his worry for his loved ones grew. He took a moment to think of his father, Arnax, a simple farmer who had practically built this home with his own two hands, doing everything he could to provide a good life for his family. He thought of his father's smile, the way it caused the lines on his face to show his age more. His father never seemed to mind though. He thought of his brother, Crix, who was almost a spitting image of their father. Quite a few years older than Jax, with short brown hair, broad shoulders, and a strong work ethic. Crix didn't smile as much as their father, though. Jax felt like Crix was the kind of man who thought he was destined for greater things in life, and that living on a farm in the valleys of Alderaan was holding him back. Finally, Jax thought of his mother. "Yeah, you're Veedra's son, alright" was something people had told Jax his whole life. He inherited her white hair, her green eyes, and her natural charisma. Both of them always had a real knack for talking their way out of trouble, but most of all, he inherited her love of adventure, of exploration. Veedra was constantly disappearing into the valleys and mountains, and coming back with all kinds of things, rare crystals, forgotten treasures, that kind of thing. Jax thought of the excitement on his mother's face each time she brought something new home. "Kriff, I'm not sure what I'm going to do if anything's happened to them", he thought to himself. Things can be replaced. People can't.

Jax was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a twig snapping behind him. He scrambled to his feet, thinking his time had come, that one of the thugs had seen him and managed to sneak up on him. "If I'm going down, it's not going to be without a fight", he thought, as he turner around and threw a punch. THUD! The punch connected with the palm of a man's hand, which seemed to move almost impossibly fast to block Jax's wild swing. The man held onto Jax's hand, and calmly said to him. "I am not your enemy. I saw the smoke, and came here to see if there was a way I could help". Jax felt somewhat relieved that someone wanted to help, but he wasn't sure what one man would be able to do. He took a moment to size the man up. He was tall, and slender, with dark skin, and shoulder length black hair which he wore in thin braids. He was defintely older than Jax, and wore very simple clothing, almost like… "WAIT! You're a Jedi!", Jax exclaimed as he spotted the silver cylinder of a Lightsaber hanging from the stranger's belt. "Jedi Knight, Rook Redsun", replied the man standing before Jax, releasing his hand. "Is this your place?", Rook asked. Jax, overwhelmed with emotions, dropped down to one knee, and practically started begging, "Please, I don't know if one Jedi is going to be enough. There's a group down there… blasters… My family… oh, kriff, my family could be in there… I… Please help me. Please help my family!". A serious look crossed Rook's face, as he helped Jax sit against the rocky outcrop he used as a hiding spot moments earlier. "Stay here. I'll handle this", he said, before briskly walking down the path toward the burning homestead.

One of the armed thugs saw Rook approaching, and moved to intercept him. "Stay out of this, and you won't get hurt", he demanded, raising a blaster rifle toward Rook's head. "You don't want to hurt me. You want to tell me what's going on here", Rook said, with a subtle wave of his hand. The thug seemed confused for a moment, as he lowered his weapon. "I… I don't want to hurt you, I'm going to tell you what's going on… This farmer… he was in over his head. The boss sent us to either collect what's owed, or torch it all… and he… he couldn't pay". The effect of Rook's use of the force began to wear off not long after that, with the same thug taking a moment to shake his head, almost as if he was clearing the fog from his mind. "Hey… wait, why did I do that!?" he slurred, as he raised his blaster again. Having heard enough, Rook didn't give him the chance to fire, making a simple gesture upward with one hand, causing the aggressor's own blaster rifle to smack him in the face, knocking him unconscious.

From his vantage point on the hill's crest, Jax watched as Rook proceeded to move carefully through the yard, managing to disarm and incapacitate each thug individually. Jax had expected him to go in, lightsaber blazing, and just take them all out, but it seemed like Rook was very reluctant to ignite his weapon if he didn't have to. It only took him a matter of moments to silently take down every thug Jax could see. Finally, he reached the home. He opened the door, only to be met by a rush of flames, which he managed to move out of the way of. Jax watched in awe as Rook stretched his hands out, and seemed to part the flames blocking him from entering the home, before rushing in. What felt like an eternity later, there was a sudden flash of golden light toward the back wall of the home, as Rook's lightsaber tore a hole in a wall. "Is that someone with him?!" Jax thought, as Rook emerged from the new exit he'd just created, a wall of smoke and obscuring Jax's vision. Jax thought to himself that with all the armed men incapacitated, it should be safe enough to approach and help, as he began quickly running down the path.

Rook walked toward Jax, carrying someone in his arms. "He's alive, but unconscious!", shouted Rook, as he saw Jax approaching. As Jax got closer, he saw the short brown hair on the man Rook was carrying, but he couldn't tell if it was Crix, or his father. Rook fell to one knee, but managed to place the man he'd rescued on the ground carefully enough as Jax approached and was finally able to see the face of his older brother. He was clearly badly hurt, with burns to one side of his face and shoulder, but it was unmistakably him. "CRIX!" Jax exclaimed, before thinking of his parents. "What about the others!?" he pleaded with the Jedi. Rook coughed, as the smoke overwhelmed his lungs for a moment, and then looked up at Jax with a pained expression. "I… I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do for them", he said, solemnly, before coughing again. "I can try to stabilize this one, if we can get him to the city in time, he should end up recovering", he said, stretching his hands out over Crix's prone body. The weight of everything he had lost overwhelmed Jax, as he fell, seated, to the ground, watching the Jedi in silence, not sure what to say. What do you even say when your whole world has just been ripped away from you?

A few moments later, Rook spoke up. "Is he your brother?", he questioned, still clearly concerned. "Yes. Yeah, he is", came the weak reply from Jax. "I need you to stay here with him", said Rook, as he stood up. "I'm going to bring my speeder around. We need to get moving as soon as possible". Jax simply nodded, as Rook rushed off. It didn't take long for him to come down the hill with his speeder, which wasn't much to look at. It was an older model one, clearly designed for hauling small cargo. Jax thought it was similar to the one his father owned for bringing supplies out to the farm. Rook picked up a long hooded robe from the seat as he climbed out, throwing it down into the cargo bed of the speeder, before climbing down and carefully lifting Crix, placing him down on the robe. "It's not going to be the most comfortable trip back to the city, I'm afraid", he said, climbing back into the speeder, "But you're welcome to come with me. You're probably in a better position to tell them what they'll need to know about your brother anyway". Jax was about to climb into the back of the speeder to watch over Crix, when he heard a sudden yell behind him. "Get down!", shouted Rook, but it was too late, as Jax spun around just in time to see one of the thugs had recovered, and was charging at him, blaster pistol held out in an extended hand. Jax felt his whole life flash before him, and instinctively reached out his hands as if it would block a plasma bolt from a blaster, and to everybody's surprise, with a sudden jolt, the thug was knocked over backward, as if pushed by an invisible barrier. Rook, wasting no time, leaped over Jax, the arc of his golden Lightsaber coming down across the thug's arm before he could pick up the blaster again. He follwed up by slamming the heel of his boot into the thug's face, knocking him out once more. "We need to go. Now", Rook said. Jax was already half-way into the speeder as he said it, and before he knew it, they were heading back along the same valley paths Jax had followed earlier, back towards Aldera.

The first few minutes of the journey were marked by silence, with Jax watching behind the speeder, making sure they weren't being followed, as the sun began to set behind the mountains. After a nerve-wracking few minutes, Rook called out. "Kid, we need to talk", he said, a serious tone in his voice. "How long have you been able to do that?" he asked. "Do what?" Jax replied, not fully processing the day's events in his state of shock. "Back there at the farm. You knocked that fool over without even touching him", Rook said. Jax thought back on it, and remembered what had happened. In the moment, he wasn't even sure he'd really done anything, but having seen Rook's mastery of similar abilities, he thought it was best to trust him on the matter. "I… I've never done anything like that before.", Jax said. Rook thought on that, almost concerned for a moment. "I can sense that you're telling the truth about that. I have to tell you, that's fascinating to me. Most people who can use The Force find out much younger." "The Force?" replied Jax. "The Force. It's something that's in all living things. It binds the galaxy, it guides us, it's what gives each Jedi their abilities. Everyone relates to it differently. Not everyone can use it the way I do. The way I watched you do", explained Rook. Jax had to ask the most obvious question on his mind. "Does this mean I'm going to become a Jedi?". Rook took a moment to look back at him, before concentrating on driving again. "I have to be honest, I don't think so", he said. "You're older than most people are when they begin their training". "So what's going to become of me?" questioned Jax, and after a few moments of silence, Rook quietly answered; "I don't know. I just don't know".

#Star Wars #Jedi #Fanfic #OC

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rosetintedgunman · 1 year ago

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AU Verse Setting: The Intended Timeline

OCTOBER 12th, 19XX

Detective Lincoln's valiant confrontation with the heartless murderer of beloved actor Mark I.plier led to the killer's untimely demise, unable to face proper consequences before a court of law.

The disgraced soldier - Colonel W.illiam Jackson Barnum - was confirmed dead on the scene after receiving a fatal gunshot wound to the neck, despite attempts by the manor's cook to keep him from bleeding out. All witnesses were brought outside while waiting for the paramedics to take the body.

But in the time between them leaving, with everyone accounted for, and the paramedics arriving, the body disappeared. Despite a thorough search of the residence, it was nowhere to be seen.

JANUARY 4th, 19XX

M.arkiplier Manor, a place that had been left untouched following the actor's murder last October, was set alight in a suspected arson attack. No witnesses could confirm seeing anyone come or go. The fire was successfully contained before it could spread to the garden or nearby buildings, but it is likely the building will need to be demolished if no one is willing to undertake the costly reparations.

Firefighters at the scene confirmed the source of the fire was in a small study, where a small movie projector had been damaged by a bottle of alcohol. Nothing unusual was discovered, aside from a cracked pair of round glasses with peculiar lenses attached. The public is advised to contact the authorities if these curious spectacles sound familiar.

As the 'villain' of the timeline, Liam Jackson is out for revenge on those who wronged him, just like the Actor would have expected. The Manor has been dealt with. He's not too keen on long monologues and idle chitchat, but if he is neutral toward you, that's currently the closest he's able to get to liking someone, and he'll make sure to inform you about the stories that the Actor may be trying to weave.

He doesn't want connections. He doesn't want bonds. He's been working alone for YEARS in the Void prior to his escape. But deep in his core, he's a soldier, and he knows he needs to do the right thing to protect the innocent... Even if that means being the villain that is so desperately desired.

So.... If you survived this fateful weekend... How are you going to handle seeing the figure of a man you saw die?

Further guidance/headcanons, if needed, under the read-more.

Liam, like he did in life, bases his trust of people on those he knows. While he himself may not be able to feel that sense of loyalty or camaraderie, he knows people like Damien and the Attorney didn't actively contribute to his demise. As such, he will be neutral (which is positive, all things considered) toward them, and he will even try to offer advice while keeping you at arm's length.

However, if he meets Mark, or someone openly associated with him, his walls shoot straight up, and he will have little time for you. He will be the villain if he has to be. Shoot him, stab him, do whatever you want. Just be ready to run when you realise that won't stop him. He could block pain in life, and in death it's even easier. Even if you do kill him... He'll remember. He'll find you. :)

If he meets Celine... It will be somewhere in between this. By default (ie, not taking particular interpretations into account), he knows the relationship was loveless, and he was the fool for letting it happen on the pretence of playing along and acting like it was something that could have been genuine. In a way, his death was partially because of her.

The entire of his left arm is paralysed, hence the droop in his shoulder. He uses his abilities to manipulate it, but it is still limp. I will explain more if needed, but consider it more like unseen hands maneuvering a doll's arm rather than magically having a way to 'overcome' it. The movements aren't natural, almost like how one pretends to move when they act like a robot. Practice has made the movements more fluid, but a watchful eye will notice it's still slightly 'off'. He's been doing it for so long that it's habit. Unfortunately, it can still tire him out if he over-exerts himself. If you ask him about this, he will flat-out lie about it and blame the stuttering movement on the fact that he's dead. (Side note: Liam willingly confessing his arm is paralysed is a sign that he trusts you. Liam willingly not using his powers - removing the red glow - and letting the arm fall fully limp is him showing complete trust in you.)

He's blunt. He may insult a muse directly when making a point. I do apologise in advance for this.

Powers include: using doorways to teleport, use of his energy to manipulate an item (only used on his arm), the creation and use of pocket dimensions, ability to conjure knives out of thin air, unlimited bullets in his gun of choice. (note: this may be added as I've had more time to think.)

#lv; the intended timeline #lv; relearning trust #liamcanon #liamaesthetic #violence tw #death tw #consider this the official introduction to this selective scenario #(I might do the starter call tomorrow. Hopefully. Maybe.)#(isn't it wild to think this is how this should have went in this timeline? My bubbly boy never would have existed... ;A; )

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leseigneurdufeu · 2 years ago

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finding it funny and ironic that you said you block people for any reason of any kind in your info page but when you get blocked for something an user doesn’t like to interact w/ / feels uncomfortable w/, you get annoyed and mad at it

ok so as I said earlier and as anyone who saw the ask i sent should know, I didn't get annoyed and mad them for blocking me. I wanted to know if I was blocked because 1) could have been a bug on my part 2) since I block people for no reason it might have been the same here, I myself unblocked someone yesterday because they appeared as "based on your likes" repeatedly and didn't want to see them (blocked) but also didn't have anything against them (unblocked, but i generally forget).

I didn't ask them to unblock me or anything, just wanted to be sure it was on purpose.

I made them uncomfortable? Well I'm sorry about that. It's totally fair that they would block me. What I'm annoyed at or "mad" about as you say, is going to great length (investigating a side blog of mine looking for screenshots) to prove i'm an awful person or whatever, calling me names and telling me to go fuck myself completely unprovoked. Lemme remind you that I was polite in my ask and didn't strike back (not only because I was blocked, I truly don't believe in being aggressive on the internet).

Now what makes me uncomfortable is the number of people I don't know and who don't know me who've been sending me anon messages to either blame me or call me names ever since it happened. I've been blocking those in the askbox but I felt like this one was at least neither aggressive nor full of swears and might come from a genuine place of finding funny the situation and wanting to share.

Again, I might have made them uncomfortable by the past, which I didn't realize at the time, and if so I'm sorry. But I didn't strike first with my ask and I didn't strike back after. So if the people who saw the ask and are now coming into my askbox to insult me (and you anon who are not among them because you were civil) could stop wasting both their time and mine on whatever they think they're doing for social justice or something, I'd appreciate.

#anon ask

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y11irfilm · 5 months ago

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violet – chapter 1

qimir x f!reader | chapter 2, chapter 3 & chapter 4

summary: she had no direction. a nomad who didn't choose a side. but when a vision makes her save people, she has to face her mind in the worst way possible: on a planet made of water with the man who reminds her of her past.

content: deaths, power bond, a kind of “chosen one”, dark past | wc: 1900+

notes: hello, i was obsessed with this man and didn't stop until i finished the first chapter. there may be some confusing events, but ignore them. — english is not my first language, so be kind, please. if you make any mistakes, tell me!

I still see her.

You can try all you like to block her from your mind, but she lives on in the background. Haunting your nightmares with her piercing, trembling, dead eyes. This could be your curse to keep moving forward. No pain, no resentment, living for nothing. She didn't need a light or darkness telling her what to do, it was just her. It's better this way.

She knew they would kill her if she moved a muscle. And well, she'd let them.

She continues to walk like a nomad, knowing that one day could be her last, so she takes the opportunity to visit as many planets as she can. Exploring each one to find out how beautiful life can be.

She could be angry with them, with the Jedi. But why? Trying to get back at them for considering me a dark user? She wasn't, and only she needed to know that. No one needs to tell her which side she chooses.

Meditation served well to channel everything around her. She sat down on the floor, it was a night in a small room she'd managed to get with the rest of her credits. She crosses her legs, finally taking a deep breath. He closes his eyes and begins to relive the memories. It was so, so painful. Being human can be living in an eternal struggle inside your mind. It was like swimming against the sea. Always swimming and swimming against the ever-larger waves that swallow you up into the vast darkness of the ocean.

But it was different.

Despite all the red sea of memories, she saw a light as he swam. It kept shining closer and closer, she needed to find it. She didn't just need it, she wanted it. She felt her body go on alert, making it harder and harder to breathe. Who were you? Flashes of a planet, the sea and a person. It was a man. No, it wasn't him.

"No, get out of my head. I won't let you." She murmured almost as if it were a whisper. Every fleche she was allowed to see more of this unknown man was terrifying. She felt his power, she didn't want to be found. She just needed to stop.

Then she saw different flashes. It was a forest. So many colored lights, then everything dark. Red.

She stood up quickly with a panic she hadn't felt for years, reaching out for the saber coming at her. "Get out of here, it's not my problem!" She shouted for them to hear. Panic inhabited every part of her body, the tremor of knowing something she shouldn't have.

She counted to ten, trying to regain his composure, then dropped the saber to the ground. "It's not your problem, it's not your problem, it's not your problem, it's not your problem." She tried to get it through his head, but with every word, her dead eyes returned to his mind. "Please, I don't want blood on my hands. Why do you let me know that?" She spoke again, her voice breaking and the tears allowing themselves to be released.

She lay down on his bed on the floor and began to breathe deeply. She needed to stay calm. That man's gaze was as empty as the length of her own. She knew what he was going to do. Red. But why? So many whys.

She knew what she had to do, but she didn't want to.

Carried away by the current of the ocean, she knew she would sink. She put everything she needed in her backpack, picking up her saber from the ground last. She took a look at it, while letting her fingers remember what it felt like. She put the saber back in her backpack and closed it. She was going down.

Inside the ship, sitting in the cockpit, she closed her eyes. Where should I go? She concentrates on the memory of the darkness of the forest. In a few seconds, she opens her eyes again and lets her fingers do the work themselves on the cockpit buttons.

She didn't want to be a hero, she wasn't one. She just knew that she couldn't live with more blood on her hands, it would be too much for her. She has a chance to avoid bloodshed. To be better than he was. Of those dead eyes becoming just grains of sand in the immensity of painful memories that remain in your head.

She took the backpack in his hands and opened it, taking the saber in your hands. Can I still fight? Can I be any good? He was mean to her. Days spent training in front of the house under the hot sun and in the rain with the company of the lightning. She never knew how to be good enough for him. "You're still weak." The phrase stuck in her mind.

She chose any place on that forested planet to leave the ship, whether he got it right or not. She hoped for the first option. Opening the ship's doors, she let himself see the darkness of the planet. Breathing in and out, she tried to calm the anxiety that surrounded her body. "I'm not weak." With only her saber in hand, she left the ship.

She closed her eyes and began to let her feet move in any direction they wanted. She had been walking for a few minutes, still with her eyes closed and holding her saber tightly. She began to think that he had really misplaced the planet, a waste of time that would cost lives.

Then the screams came, putting her on alert. She opened your eyes and pressed the button on your saber. She spent a few seconds gazing at its mesmerizing light, it had been years since she didn’t have the pleasure of looking at her purple presence.

She began to run towards the frightening screams that haunted the forest, hiding behind a tree close to people. Jedi, to be precise. They were scared. And she knew exactly who it was.

Red.

A red saber appeared and began to attack the group, and she took a step forward, but stopped. Could I do that? Save an entire group? They could be Jedi masters, why did they need my help? The flashes of colored lights and then darkness made her step forward.

She ran towards the group. "Run! Get out of here while there's still time!" Used as much force in your voice as I could to make them turn around from the danger, but they just didn't know what to think coming from her. Of course, I'm the stranger here. "Who are you?! We can't just turn around! He's killed people, he has to be stopped!" One guy used his strength to push her away from them, but she planted her feet on the ground. The look on her face surprised him. "That's why he won't give up until he's killed all of you, please listen to me, I saw it happen!" A few people tried to hear the message, but it was too late before they got into a fight with him for their lives and were struck down. Lifeless bodies fell to the ground.

"I'll take him! Just run, please!" She shouted as loudly as he could before running to get in front of a person fighting him, using his saber to avoid a blow, asking the person behind him to run away. The masked man saw the person running before turning his gaze to them. "All right, you can come." She took a step back and spun the saber in his hand. I tried not to look at him, the flashes from his real face would get in my way.

They began a heated struggle, taking steps backwards with each blow of the saber, avoiding his attempts with the helmet or arms on her saber. She knew she would be in trouble if she didn't have access to the saber. Then she saw him raise his hand; he wanted to throw her away from him with the Force. She lowered her saber and looked at him, trying to find him in the depths of that mask. She didn't need to raise her hand to do what she wanted. "That doesn't work on me." He turned his head to the side, looking confused. For a minute she thought he would attack again, then he turned away and started running.

What was I supposed to do? He denied a fight with you, so should I just go back to the ship or run after him? She glanced around, and bodies, the lives she could have saved if I'd had more time. His eyes were dead. "Get out of my head." She said, starting to run after him, he should have had some reason to run.

"Osha, run!"

Damn it, why didn't they listen to you? She tried to run to avoid it, but it was too late. He moved his hand and Jedi flew meters behind him. Blood, it was so much blood. She ran to attack him, each blow trying to think of something to do against this man's vengeance. Why so much pain? With one last stroke of her saber, she managed to make him stumble to the ground, moving her hand to remove his helmet. His eyes were closed. His eyes were closed, he was using the Force to fight, like... Pain, his eyes glistened with tears trying to come, she didn't know what to do next.

He was just a man.

She saw some people getting up and regaining consciousness. They looked at the scene of the man lying on the ground with his saber in front of him. I held back the tears. "This is the last time I ask you, get out of here. Take everyone who still has a breath of life left. If you care about the fucking legacy of the Jedi, take your ships and get off this planet." Your eyes didn't leave the man below her, your every word being heard by him.

He was right, you were still weak. Her weakness let her be thrown into the nearby tree by the man before she could have felt any steps. The pain was unbearable, she could hear her ribs puffing out pleas for help. Her eyes opened to watch him fighting one of the Jedi, the Jedi seemed to take care of him. She only hoped that the others had heard his words and fled. The pain was unbearable. Her consciousness shut down without her having a chance to stop it. When her eyes opened again, the fight was still going on, watching every blow each one made. He was holding the girl in a human shield, talking to the Jedi with words that were scrambled for you. Rest, she wanted to rest. Her eyes threatened to close again. I am weak.

Her eyes were piercing, trembling and dead.

I know. I must get up and fight for them. Save what I can. Like a fucking hero.

"I thought it was you, then your sister. But now I know." The look in his eyes was like being in a volcano, their gazes meeting as she finished getting up from the floor. Pressing the button to ignite the saber. "Leave them both." She raised his saber to him, showing confidence. But with each step, it was harder to stay upright, but it was necessary. "I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I can't do it. You've spoiled all the fun, Jedi."

"Don't call me Jedi." She murmured, looking deep into his eyes. He slowly cracked a smile at she. "Ah, it was you who spied on me." His eyes blinked a few times. He knew, of course he knew.

"Get out, I'll be fine." She spun the saber in his hand, moving his hand to take the girl out of his hands. Starting to attack the man again, he quickly dodged each of his blows. It was a fight that could have gone on for hours. Saber against saber, each leaning in front of his face. "If you're not part of the group, how did you find out about me before they did?" The answer shouldn't be given, she wouldn't speak anyway. But the look they shared could say more than a word out of her mouth. "Get out of my head." Her gaze turned to pure anger, letting him have his fun with you. "For all your strength, your mother shouldn't be standing at the door, or am I wrong?"

He saw something. He felt something.

It destabilized you, causing you to take a step back, allowing him to move his hand and dark to be the only color she saw. His body was thrown again and automatically his consciousness couldn't take the pain. The man walked behind your helmet, picking it up off the floor. He looked at she, started walking and bent down next to your body. Removing his cloak and covering his body.

How? How could you withstand his strength? He fought against Jedi masters that night, but the one who knew how to fight him was a stranger. What was so special about you? Gradually he placed your hand on his arm. He felt a force he had never seen before, neither good nor bad. You wanted to save the Jedi, even though you weren't one. Why did you feel the need to save them? His hand began to move up his arm in a kind of caress. You seemed at peace in your sleep, he felt relieved by that. Each side of his lips lifted, causing a small smile to appear on his face. Qimir didn't let his gaze leave your face.

#qimir x reader #the acolyte #qimir #qimir the acolyte #fanfic #star wars qimir #qimir x you #qimir fic #qimir imagine #qimir smut #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars x you

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blahandwhatever · 1 year ago

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...And it's winter.

Just yesterday, I was still dying from heat and humidity in here. Took my coconut oil out of the fridge, and it fully remelted.

Today it was time for a winter coat. I went for a walk in Buffalo Grove, already halfway bare and brown, and felt refreshed in a way that I didn't quite feel after any of my recent excursions. I guess there's a balance to be had with adequate rest and relaxation.

Before the fall fully set in for its measly couple of weeks, I once again went to the botanic garden on a free day. Then I made a failed attempt to attend a study at Mars Wrigley in Chicago - had never been there before, greatly underestimated the length of the trip due to trusting the very different time estimate an hour before I actually had to leave, got stuck in terrible miserable Chicago rush hour traffic (RIP people who do this every day), missed the study, desperately needed air for my tires and could only find shitty low-tech air pumps (which took an eternity to drive a few blocks to), and stopped by the Goose Island Overlook for a modest little slice of nature in the city (I'd heard of Goose Island years ago when I went for a haircut in Wicker Park - like, as a nice place worth visiting? and frankly I'd imagined something very different).

The next week, I set off on another long and treacherous highway journey to revisit this park in Worth and finally see it with the waterfalls flowing. Was it worth it? ...Sort of. I would not go out of my way again to drive there specifically, but it's worth visiting if you're in the area. I was also annoyed with myself for not having left earlier, for both traffic and enjoyment's sake - it was still decent enough when I got there, but I could've seen more sights on the drive back (mostly off-highway on my old route to Naperville), which wound up being mostly in the dark.

Another day I went to Schaumburg, and another day, just by the lake here.

Last Saturday, I was supposed to visit Graceland Cemetery in Chicago for the first time. It was a comfortable (I thought) but cloudy day - well-suited, I thought, for the destination. I got ready, got in my car, searched up the directions, and learned the place closed at 4 PM, right around when I'd be arriving. Hadn't bothered to check before, as I was under the impression that cemeteries were a 24/7 deal. So, I changed plans and went to Glenview instead and, unlike last year, was not disappointed by the views I found. I was, however, very chilly - I swear the feel of 50s-60s temperatures, and how to dress for them, is sooo all over the place depending on the wind and sun - which ultimately made me glad I hadn't gone on the longer walk I'd planned.

Sunday I went to Wilmette. Hadn't been back since my botched attempt a few summers ago. This one turned out much better: less traffic, fewer people, plenty of parking. I walked on a beach for the first time in forever, saw some gorgeous trees, and circled around the always-dazzling Baháʼí temple.

Monday I tried the cemetery again. It was the most challenging trip in that I had to get up and get ready early enough to leave around 1 PM so I could get there by 2 and have a couple of hours. I put in some work toward this end the night before with a nighttime shower and early bedtime at the expense of a full-length day and chores. The drive was as okay as I could expect, but at the end, there were complications. At first I just drove straight into the cemetery, and then I'm like, wait, is this allowed? I searched online and found that no parking was allowed inside the cemetery except under special circumstances. There was a little parking lot inside near the entrance, but I didn't want to risk it, so I went out into the streets and dealt with the nightmare of city parking, puzzling out confusing signs, briefly encountering dozens of false hopes, finally settling for a paid spot a bit of a way off, still not 100% sure it was legit despite all signs pointing to it being so just because it felt too good to be true in light of all the other fully packed (or disallowed) streets I'd been through. I double-checked carefully and used the last $5 in my bank account to pay the fee, and then I walked to the cemetery, and by this point I'd killed enough time that I worried I might not have enough, but thankfully there were fairly quick walking directions from the entrance to the Palmer monument, the main attraction I wanted to see, and I got plenty of time admiring that from every which angle, and a bit of time to walk around and look at other things too. Worth revisiting in other seasons (and, again, cloudy weather, which didn't happen this time) and with more time to roam.

Tuesday I thought I'd stop by Lake Zurich before going to Whole Foods, but it didn't really work out due to me leaving the house late and it being cloudy (which wasn't good in this case).

At this point, I'm taking it easy and staying close to home. None of these were really fall-specific destinations (though it's nice to have seen them that way at least once), they were just places I hadn't gotten around to visiting and felt the need to squeeze in while things were still nice. In the future, I'll probably spread them out more and keep most of my fall color quests closer to home.

Back when I had money, I was planning to take the Amtrak trip from Chicago to San Francisco this fall. And I was so sure I would finally revisit Ann Arbor this year!

But I can't say I'm feeling anything missing.

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the-jnadf-man · 1 year ago

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So I was going through my shit and uh

Found a thing I wrote a while ago.

It's kinda spooky so fucking uhhh

HERE IT IS I GUESS???

There's a lot of sentences I wouldn't write nowadays but here's how I wrote things... Whenever this was written. I don't actually know for sure.

Without further ado, here's "Two friends, then a third additional friend, which is me, who survives.", which... Is the actual name of the google doc I found it in.

Well.

You ever find yourself in one of those moments where your life should be flashing before your eyes, but you only have time to recap the last six hours?

I think that's what my friends have been telling me they experienced.

For some reason.

Sorry, let me introduce myself, in case I don't survive.

My name is Richard Pierce, and this is my diary. If you find it in a creepy old haunted mansion, that would mean that I am very much departed.

I went in with my friends Sadie Lockpin and Felix Castellan, both of whom are… Dead. Murdered by what lurks inside this abominable building. Sadie went to see what was in the kitchen, and had her head bitten off by a gross maggot man with a swollen head and deadly mandibles, whom Felix and I caught chewing through what was left of her neck. Felix died while we were trying to run away from the maggot man. I couldn't get a good look at what did it (And he won't tell me the details), but it seemed to be using many broken garden gnomes as an exoskeleton. You would think this would all be extremely traumatizing once it settled in, yes? Well, it was! For a few minutes! And then… Well, you probably figured it out already. My friends are now… Ghosts, hence why they've been telling me about how the last six hours of their lives flashed before them. It's really annoying, if I'm being honest. Running out of space on this page, so I'll keep writing tomorrow.

——————————————

Richard put the book down. Much to his chagrin, Felix had figured out some kind of weird ghost magic that stopped him from writing on more than one page per day.

"C'mon, Ricky! It's not that bad, is it?"

Speak of the devil…

"It kind of is, Felix."

Richard was a nervous wreck. In the two days since Felix and Sadie died, which he hadn't gotten to write anything about yet, he'd encountered two more maggot men trying to eat each other, only to chase him down when they noticed his presence, a living pincushion that fired the pins fast enough to crack a brick wall, and a three-headed snake that bit one of its own heads off so it could throw it at him. Thankfully, that last one didn't try to chase him after he ran off.

"Hey, you haven't gotten mutilated by the thing in the walls yet, so that's a plus!"

Felix willed his head to pop like a balloon, spraying bits of ectoplasm in a small circle around himself to emphasize his point. Richard, for whatever reason, genuinely believed Felix was trying to be helpful for once.

"...There's something in the walls?"

"Well… Yeah! It's been following you for the last hour or so!"

With shaking hands, Richard began pointing a broken and rusty water pipe, the only weapon he could find here, around frantically, as though it would save him from the coming ambush.

"G-get out of the walls, damn you!"

"...I mean, if you insist."

Whipping around, Richard found himself staring at Sadie, who was poking most of her spectral form through the wall behind him, grinning like she and Felix had played a particularly good joke just now.

"I- Tha- THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Both of them immediately started laughing smugly in disagreement. Sadie was the first to regather her wits.

"Pfahah… Ah… Seriously though, there is one of those gross maggot people coming here. I think it heard you scream when you saw that cerberu-snake in the side room."

Richard immediately began running in the opposite direction from the one Sadie had indicated while Felix gave her a mildly unimpressed look.

——————————————

"Do you ever go to sleep and just find out a block of cheese the length of your stomach inhaled your head while you slept when you wake up?"

Felix "What Is Humour" Castellan indicated to his conspicuous lack of a skull. Allegedly, he'd seen a cheese snake run off with it upon waking up, but neither Sadie (Who could confirm that ghosts don't need to sleep, nor had Felix chosen to do so that night) nor Richard (Who doubted a cheese snake would survive very long in here) were buying it.

"Felix…"

"I'M TELLING THE TRUTH, RICKY!"

Both his fellow ghost and the human survivor were clearly judging him.

"FINE! Geez! I'LL CATCH IT MYSELF!"

Huffing and puffing like he could somehow blow the supernatural torture dungeon they called a haunted mansion down, Felix flew through the wall.

"So he was just bullshitting, right?"

"Definitely. I've been through the entire mansion twice over while you were sleeping, and there's no living cheese here."

"Wh- I- YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING GUARD?!"

Sadie looked to the side, as though astonished Richard remembered that.

"Oh, uh, look at the time. I gotta go."

In a supernatural poof, she was gone.

Half an hour of grumbling later, Richard fell out of his chair when Felix opened the door like a normal person and presented a living snake made of cheese, which spat his head out.

He wisely decided not to tell Sadie Felix wasn't making it up.

——————————————

Richard was trying to sneak past a truly horrid creature in the middle of what he presumed was a small child's former room. Consisting of the burnt, blackened spines of three or four humans wound into a snakelike shape, with a dozen arms serving as legs and a human skull for a head, with a yellow/orange eye in its jaws, along with an eye in each armpit, it was horrid to even look at. Felix and Sadie, however, were trying their best to play peek-a-boo with the sleeping monstrosity.

"Where's the monster?"

Thankfully, they were failing. The monstrosity did not stir even when Felix tried to see if sticking his arm through the closed mouth and shining his ghost-glow into the "main' eye would work. It DID, however, start shifting when Richard started opening the door he'd been moving towards, prompting Sadie to start miming mockery towards Felix, who was loudly complaining to Richard how unfair this was.

"I try for SEVERAL MINUTES, and YOU wake the cool bone snake up by OPENING A DOOR?!"

It continued shivering. Richard tried to stand still, not turning the obnoxiously loud door handle any further. It didn't work, as Richard realized when he heard its boney hands scratching across the floor.

Turning around, the disturbing approximation of a centipede crossed with a 7th degree burn victim was staring him right in the eyes. Awkward moments rolled past while Sadie was tossing a handful of pebbles into her mouth like it was popcorn, clearly adoring the realization that, as a ghost, she was now immune to indigestion. Felix was squee-ing at how cool the abomination seemed. Finally, it broke eye contact… And scurried away, tearing the door Richard entered through off its hinges. Not so far away, the horrific screech of one of the many maggot men was heard before a wet squelching noise cut it short.

Richard did not hear it, as he'd long since ran through the door he didn't enter the room through.

——————————————

"...What."

There was a garden. Indoors. In the basement. Richard ran his hand along a tree just to confirm it wasn't plastic, retracting it when he got the feeling he was about to get splinters stuck in his fingers.

"This- I- Wh- HOW?!"

Felix immediately ate one of the flowers, as Richard expected. Sadie, meanwhile, was inspecting a large mass of moss that seemed to be growing around something only slightly less large.

"...Guys? I think this thing's breathing?"

Felix poofed in and out of existence next to Sadie, inspecting the weird mass beneath with great enthusiasm.

"Real shit?"

Richard carefully approached it with the broken and rusty water pipe pointed towards it. Now that he was closer, it did indeed seem to have a slight bob. Once he got within striking distance, and acting under the assumption that it was faking being a rock and about to attack him, Richard struck it. The response he got was neither the feeling of successfully hitting something soft and organic, nor the dull sound that came from striking a rock. Rather, a sharp CRACK emanated, as he had barely enough time to note that it seemed brittle. And hollow. Like an egg. In the middle of attempting to back up, Richard was pushed back by a screech so loud it seemed to have physical mass. Falling onto his behind, Richard felt helpless as the creature within the egg broke out. It seemed composed of some sort of dark, slimy green goo, and emitting gas that instantly caused any plant in contact with it to wither and die. Most striking were its eyes, as they shone like flashlights, and, despite the lack of pupils, were obviously focused on Richard.

Sadie, responding to her ranidaphobia, jumped behind Felix.

"GAH! FROG!"

Felix, meanwhile, tried to hold a nearby rose in front of the monster's face. It immediately proceeded to decay into dust, leaving Felix with an empty hand. Richard did not know nor care why Felix did that. Acting on a fear response, the sole human of the trio jolted upright and back away. The creature that was… Imprisoned? Resting? Born? In the room began to approach. Despite it's clear intent to kill, it was quite slow. Richard managed to take advantage of this after putting a tree between it and him, somehow distracting it long enough for him to bolt past and to what he hoped was the exit door to the garden.

"Oh, what am I gonna name you?"

Felix, unlike Sadie who'd fled before even Richard, was inspecting the smoky ooze frog even as Richard closed the door behind him. As soon as Felix appeared beside him again, the beast started banging itself against the door, prompting the ghost to respond:

"Who's there?"

While Richard ran away.

——————————————

Finally.

They were finally back at the entrance. Only… Two, maybe three more rooms left, including the ones where Sadie and Felix… Died. They'd blown off the possibility of a post-traumatic panic attack when Richard asked. Both in their own ways. Sadie'd joked that she wouldn't even recognize her body, if it was still there at all, and Felix said he'd be too busy with, and I quote, "Shoving [his] spectral fist so far down that gnome-wearing bastard's throat it'd pop like a bug being stepped on" to notice.

In the first room, the hall that Felix was snatched in, they recovered what they assumed remained of his carcass.

Two ribs.

And by "they", I mean "Richard", since Felix was too grumpy to do it and Sadie… Wasn't there. Richard didn't know why, since she was right next to him before they'd entered the hallway.

"C'mon, Ricky. Grab the old me's ribs and let's get going. The bastard clearly isn't here…"

Hesitantly picking up the bone fragments (Through three layers of gloves), Richard placed them inside of an empty bag of chips, which was what he'd been eating for the last three days, and returned it to his backpack. He didn't know why Felix wanted him to carry these with him, but he hoped cooperating would make his friend more helpful.

Drip.

A hissing, black fluid began coating the ground behind Richard. Raising his eyes and gazing around in a rush of panic, he once more spotted the entity that'd slaughtered Felix. Now, he could finally get a good look at it. Yes, it was wearing shattered garden gnomes, but that wasn't all. Pieces of wood, bone fragments, stones, kitchen plates… Anything solid it seemed capable of finding. The only visible piece of its actual body was the left shoulder, which looked torn open with a fresh wound, and leaking the hot, sizzling liquid that alerted Richard to its presence.

"IT'S THE FUCKING- THE- THE- Y'BACKSTA-!"

With these… Choice… Words, Felix flung himself at the monster, which ignored the ghost. Richard, frozen to the spot, stared the beast down. Had he been braver, he would've considered trying to jam something, such as one of Felix's ribs, into the open wound on its shoulder. However, Richard is not that brave of a brave person, and thus turned to flee.

With eye contact broken, the scavenger-beast roared, released its grip on the ceiling, and began sprinting after Richard on all fours while Felix was trying to fight it. Sadie was still gone.

"DAMMITDAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT-"

Richard had come to the depressing conclusion that the door he intended to flee through was locked. looking over his shoulder, he found that the entity had slowed down, stalking forwards with all the smugness of a child with a team of legendaries about to get destroyed in a Pokémon battle by someone who was actually good at the game.

A click in the lock. Something moving within. Something metallic. Sadie's voice finally announced her presence.

"Hold on, it's almost open…"

Reacting to the ghost girl using the ability to move small objects to try and pick the lock, the scavenger-beast hissed in pain(?), and began sprinting at full force again.

Richard was about halfway through the doorframe when his instincts told him he was too slow.

and he would've been disemboweled, had Felix not accidentally proven useful, and pushed his head, which he'd torn all skin from in an attempt to scare the entity, through said abomination's head. For once, it reacted. Reeling back in horror, the crime against nature with comically hypersensitive eyes paused its attack on Richard, who closed the door and sprinted through the empty room behind to put more distance between it and him. Sadie and Felix had then appeared out of thin air when he hesitated to go through the final door. The door to the kitchen, which connected to the entrance and exit. Sadie, initially, had been giving Felix a sheepish smile, as though embarrassed about something. Felix, however, was busy celebrating the "defeat" of the scavenger-beast to notice. Once it looked like it was done chasing them, Richard settled down for the night, needing some rest after that particular encounter.

——————————————

Dear diary.

It's me, again. Richard Pierce.

I almost died. Again. Felix is VERY UNHELPFUL, as I've documented several times. We ran into that thing wearing gnomes again, but there were more things on it. I'd rather not recall it in detail. Tomorrow, we'll either get out of here or I'll finally die.

As a side note, Felix was unusually insistent on me taking two of his ribs back home. Maybe he just wanted some kind of proper funeral? I guess it might be that he wouldn't be able to leave the house without them being outside? I don't know, and I don't really care, if I'm being honest. He's been a bit callous about my safety, yeah, but we're still friends. None of us would leave either of the other two behind.

I have to believe that.

I know Sadie wouldn't leave me behind.

——————————————

Waking up to a cold feeling in his shoes, Richard found them full of ice cubes, with a giggling Sadie and Felix floating next to him.

"...Where did you even find these…?"

Sadie gave a Shrug, and Felix mumbled something about a fridge. That'd require the two to go into the kitchen, though, so Richard didn't think that was true.

Whatever. Getting out of here was more important.

Opening the door to the kitchen after confirming with Felix that it didn't lead to the hallway with the scavenger-beast, Richard was met with two things. The first of which being Sadie's request.

"Oh, and, uh, could you, like, pick up a bone from my body if it's still there?"

The second was the sight of… Something.

It was just standing there, as though it had no mind or will to speak of. Visually, it looked somewhere between a ghost and a human. It was obviously solid and not see-through, but it still emitted a blue glow, and it's skin looked… Wrong. Purple and glacial ice-blue, depending on which part of the body you were looking at. Its fingers were extended, almost like claws, with none of the sharpness. Finally, its head seemed ablaze with a ghostly flame. Blue, but harmless, considering an open, wooden shelf was in direct contact and remained unscorched. It was clearly wearing clothes, but that did little to make it less unnerving. Both of the actual ghosts experienced several emotions at the sight of it, such as annoyance, or that sensation you find in the uncanny valley. After at least two, maybe three, seconds of nothing happening, they concluded that it was both harmless and interesting, and went to take a closer look. Richard, for his part, was staying clear from its line of sight as best he could. Then… Sadie's corpse entered his line of sight. Decomposed and partially eaten, but far more intact than Felix's. With great hesitation, he grabbed a tibia that'd been snapped in half, presumably by the roach man that'd been eating her, and put it with Felix's ribs. He was definitely washing his hands after this, even if he never directly touched a bone.

He really needed to clean himself, anyway.

Still, the cold-looking semi-ghost-ish person did nothing but stare ahead, dead silent, expressionless. This did not change when Felix made taunting faces at it, nor when Richard opened the kitchen door with a loud creek and cringed at the noise, waiting for it to turn. Richard hurried outside, and slammed the kitchen door shut behind him, and prepared to leave this horrid building as a whole when Felix and Sadie lost interest in the kitchen entity.

——————————————

Finally. Home. After hours of walking after leaving the probably-still-haunted mansion, Richard could see the town they lived in on the horizon. Felix then gave him something to think about.

"So… How're you gonna explain all this?"

Richard immediately froze. Assuming the other townsfolk could see Sadie and Felix, it'd go far smoother. If they couldn't, he could say they were attacked by a wild animal on the way to wherever it was they'd been going, and he got lost.

But then he'd still have to explain the bones in his backpack, and the rambling about ghosts and the supernatural in his diary, assuming his parents read it.

Oh god, their parents.

"Hey. Let's not overthink this."

Sadie was, once again, floating just above him.

"If nothing else, you won't have to buy snacks for us when we hang out anymore."

Chuckling to himself, Richard decided to simply go into town and do his best to explain himself.

Going to prison was probably better than spending forever in the wild, right?

#my writing #writing #spooky #spooky stories #find all the references if you can #But good luck #Some of these are really dumb #tw body horror #body horror

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