#and its going to be VERY angsty
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i am going insane over my modern capvers au SO I DREW THEM (in my new silly style)!!
*inspiration from THIS post*
the history teacher and the music tutor (but he's not in that day so he goes to pick up his hubby (they're not married))
#bbc ghosts#capvers#caphavers#the captain x havers#im so obsessed#YES i made captain's hair curly HE HAS CURLY HAIR TRUST ME#havers just woke up to pick up cap#yes havers likes doctor who (he has a big crush on 10 12 and 15) (who wouldn't)#I MADE HIM HALF BLIND#and i gave him a hearing aid because well y'know#THIS WILL BECOME A FIC#and its going to be VERY angsty#cap only has a wolverine pin because he fancies hugh jackman#btw the rainbow pin is what starts their relationship#converse and doc martins duo right here gang#i mad cap wear flares because he's the type of guy to#havers doesn't dress this basic trust me
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Do you think if the trolls all came back, like everything in the main comic did happen and they were alive again. Do you think Feferi would actually forgive Eridan? Or want to even be his friend after everything? I don't personally like the erisol and fefertasprite interaction…felt rushed…..so I just wanted to know your opinion if things were different! :)
Yeah, I think they would be! Feferi is one of the trolls who takes dying the least badly (relentless optimism) and Eridan does genuinely feel bad, which means a lot when it's Eridan. I think she really is genuine when she says she wants them to be friends and also that she's really not the type of person to hold a grudge, and like... death is SUPER cheap in Homestuck, it's really not the horrific, irredeemable, irreperable damage that it is IRL - and if you're talking about (Feferi) and (Eridan), then they're both dead (and irrelevent) now, so the score is kind of even.
In general, the fandom - I mean, people in general, really - tend to have difficulty divorcing themselves from other people. We tend to assume that the people and characters they like will hold similar opinions to themselves. This is how people who like Karkat and don't like Eridan can mentally gloss over or even block out their clear, close friendship, or how people who dislike Cronus can end up overlooking that Meenah actually takes his opinion seriously and unironically defends his wizard thing. Feferi really isn't mad at Eridan or upset about dying the way we probably would be, because she's friends with the horrorterrors, relentlessly cheerful, comfortable with death in general, and death is also just not really that big of a deal in this setting. "I'm really sorry about that, that was shitty of me" is honestly probably all the apology she needs, especially if they came back to life anyway.
#i dunno in general the fandom loves to blow stuff up#and make it all way way angstier than it needs to be or was even shown to be#by all accounts feferi takes dying really well#im sure shes still not STOKED to be eridan's friend again but out of all her faults#holding long unreasonable grudges isnt really one of them#(that's a kanaya thing actually)#eridan's always gonna be an annoying pest to her in large doses but i think she basically thinks of him as a friend#also eridan responds to problems overwhelmingly with Fight#so this idea that eridan will be forever mopey and angsty also doesnt ring true to his character#if anything i can see him becoming annoying again because now he won't stop fucking apologizing#like bro chill its fine already oh my god why is everyt)(ing suc)( a PRODUCTION wit)( you#because thats the last point too like#homestuck always returns to humor#hussie even says in the book commentary that homestuck is lighthearted and comedic at its core#that it keeps returning to that as a touchstone#even during its tensest moments like murderstuck theres just constant funnies and gags#so i just end up going kinda :/ when an interpretation is purely maudlin or cathartic#like its more homestuck when its funny and characters treating murder with the same gravitas as irl#not only doesnt make sense in universe where death is cheap - ESPECIALLY for trolls#but also just doesn't really feel very homestuck to me#but that is 100% personal taste so if you like that stuff by all means keep enjoying it lol#you just arent going to get uber angst from me u_u
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I'm so tired today. Take the Ringleaders of the group.
So I mentioned that I was a little nervous about talking about the plot and it still stands but uh. Basically, the friends all live in reality. And their "reality" is like our reality (obviously with exceptions that I make to the current time line) but some people can create portals. The portals lead to other dimensions. Some are alternate dimensions similar to reality. Some are dimensions to peaceful lands. Some are dimensions to magical lands.
This dimension maker can lead his friends to an alternate dimension in hostile lands with violent monsters but. The thing is. When they die in the other dimension, they just get booted back to their reality. So the Ringleader (Real) recruits his friend group to go die for fun, like a very mentally stable young adult would do.
Also, this is not the same in every dimension. It's simply the same dimension destination every time, so Ringleader (Real) isn't about to generate a portal to some Other Dimension where death could be permanent. He's content just traveling to the one violent dimension.
#my characters#it literally just started with me designing a group of people in a circle#which made me go haha circle of life hey wait the game of life hey wait lets make it the game of death#thats it thats the whole conception of the plot was my brain during my brief tumblr break jumping word association#but its been fun to think about at least because im very happy to do the opposite of tragic tropes#the most angst i get is not even very angsty since they just. die and get booted back to reality#but the game aspect does come in with the omnipotent scorekeepers (the friends dont really know WHAT they are)#but basically they get graded on their deaths after they visit the dimension a few times#and now its a game of death where you wanna get a high score#but the omnipresent watching scorers are just fascinated by these humans cause their dimension doesnt HAVE humans#so now the 12 (and eventually 13) humans are their blorbos#the omnis just really like those lil humans those are their fun lil guys#and they can text the dimension maker in their dimension (if he is in reality he cannot get a text though)#im so tired today holy moly#i really might have said too much i feel like this might be really stupid idk#might go edit this later and delete the tags and text lmao im so self conscious RIP to me
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Babe wake up new/old AU dropped.
#tails#miles tails prower#sonic au#sth#sonic the hedgehog#doodles#better tomorrows au#we'll go with that for now#anyways its very whumpy and angsty#at least to start#it gets better#but its a rough start#theres more of this that introduces the other main players#but its VERY long#so imma break it up a bit#also the sketches are messy im not sorry
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TAZ Sapphic Week Day 5: Haunted
Couldn’t finish what I originally scheduled for day 5 (so itll have to be pushed back), but I still wanted to have something. So let’s have a quick experimental Lureen (if that is the ship name?) angst! Because that little scene in the GN really got me 😔✌️.
#i suppose this could also be interpreted as Lupcretia#Bc the ghostly figure is intentionally vague and distorted. So it’s up to your interpretation!#This... feels too angsty for Sapphic week. I’m sorry yall. Next days will be very cute dont worry#but then again the bingo does include Betrayal and Haunted. which are ripe for angst#taz sapphic week#taz#the adventure zone#tazb#taz balance#lucretia#maureen miller#anw. I had fun doing this. now back into my internship report woo (crying)#hopefully i will have time before i go to sleep to finish more for day 6 & 7#also I hope the ID is okay - I’m not sure how I would best describe whatever this is#is Impressionistic even the right Art Movement. Its been three years since I touched that stuff.
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i wish i could just press a button and fixate honestly. i miss fixating
#my post#i havent fixated since 2023 with good omens s2 (specifically season 2)#sometimes im scared ill never fixate again when i go a while without it#but i think thats a misunderstanding of how my brain is wired#either way im sad. i want a fixationnnn please please please please please please please please please please please please please please pl#the worst part is that that requires finding something new#i mean even when i fixated on a fandom i was already in (steven universe) it was because new content caused it at the time (suf)#but i dont get around to new stuff very much anymore. i try to! but most stuff has been because of recommendations#and i dont get to talk to people much anymore#like even just going off patterns. excluding when i was real young#it can either be angsty/emotional but sincere stuff (steven universe future for example)#or i love a dynamic between basically 2 people that also tends to be. well. romantic. like good omens s2! or uh. dan and phil-#i mean seriously just thinking about my list its really those two things isnt it#good omens s2 actually leaned into both honestly. it didnt lay heavy on the angst stuff until the end but man it went hard when it did#encanto was emotional but sincere. hlvrai had a fun dynamic (also it was just funny). vt was a dynamic#undertale was emotional (in some ways) but sincere#before that? fuck if i know why i obsessed over what i did. homestuck and mlp and adventure time#i feel like im forgetting something but im too lazy to open my carrd ajfhahd goodnight
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Going through Mystery/Peter Panda fanfics, and I am once again overcome by the urge to write a prequel to [When We Didn't Get Along] from Peter's perspective of how he met Heinz and what happened at The Evil Scientist Expo in Seattle
#Peter the Panda#Professor Mystery#Peter is SUCH a character to me#i love his and Perry's dynamics so much cus its SOOOOOO funny#and the fic could be so deliciously potentially angsty#there are AUs out there theorizing that Miggs whole thing is arms dealing and information peddling#which possibly makes me thing that Heinz's strength in the community is political networking and opportunities#considering both his brother and his involvement in LOVEMUFFIN#and also explains the tri-state domination thing#idk its all very interesting#Perryshmirtz#heinz doofenshmirtz#perry the platypus#whats peter/heinz ship name#petershmirtz?#sure lets go with thst
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@ TK you still have time to let lizzie do an aquababy fyi : )))))
#typed in the @ as a joke and someone came up and i was like oop! but it was just some photographer from 2014#is this just me being a hater. no actually. like i dont think lizzie has a future as a character coherent w ww themes logic and#characterizations but like. i would enjoy an angsty unescapable fate lizzie death storyline a lot actually#that would make me very happy bc i love it when diana suffers <3#like fuck it let's do death of a prince lets go. take two. LITERALLY death of a Prince too w her name#although the name is stupid and makes no sense. it should be either trevor for her dad's culture or no last name for her mom's#ik prince has irl cultural weight or whatever but in universe its meaningless (in current continuity)#anyways tom you know you want to ruin her life and “leave your mark” on the character or whatever. embrace the controversy this is your#chance. kill the baby.#not putting this in tags for obvious reasons#probably should switch to initials instead of his name for that huh
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reminding myself that tumblre cr fandom is not indicative of all of it so thinking about tumblr cr fans going ZOMG GUYS DON'T VOTE ANY BELLS HELLS CHARACTERS TO PUNISH THEM!!!! and then watching these fans shit themselves when fcg and ashton and imogen get voted in
there is no known universe where we get Imogen and Ashton i fear 😭 it's not even abt them being BH or M9, it's just that Jester and Cad are by far Laura and Tal's most popular characters, bc, well. they're the silliest and simplest
#which is not to say they have no depth but well. when your other pcs are vex imogen percy and ashton its anything less than an ocean#but also. the masses just tend to go for the funny characters! which is to say fearne is a shoe-in and laudna has a very strong chance#(and me and my mutuals will be on the ground campaigning for laudna TRUST)#chetney maybe. fcg would be a darkhorse it wld depend on how much ppl let a dead pc coming back impact their vote#the main exception to these rules is caleb bc liam o'brien pcs run off a separate angsty white boy playbook#crposting#asks#anonymous
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(i don't usually rec things, or make rec lists, but the occasion has presented itself so here's a short little list of wolfstar recs. some from authors i know and love and trust, and some from strangers who I've never met but love anyway:
edit: i got to the end of the post, and decided to call this my beach read collection of wolfstar fics because they're all just...delightful to read. some angst, but otherwise. beach reads!)
-i'm not going to tag them, because every time i make a rec list these two are on it, and i'm sure they're tired of me being a banshee about their works but. here is a short list of some of my recent reads by aerid0nis and dykesiriusblack (@ steelycunt and @ dykefever on tumblr respectively
by aerid0nis and it only felt good while moving (written for their RS Candy Hearts and its SO CUTE) station to station : i read this one not too long ago after conjuring my courage because ridi's writing does things to me and ohmygosh was it lovely and fucking worth the fucking wait. there is angst and there is pining and there is so much love standing, by the wall honestly, just read it. by dykesiriusblack the shape and sound of god: a wolfstar fleabag au. i'm obsessed with the way this is written. lover, you should come over: look, the boys are messy in this and its beautiful.
Fearless Liabilities by @femme--de--lettres: a wolfstar summer camp AU. I admittedly have not yet finished this one, but I have read enough to comfortably rec it. andies writing never fails to make me laugh-- like audibly out loud. multiple times. i don't know anyone who is better at illustrating absolute shenanigans as well as andie can and this story is SO FREAKIN' CUTE. it has romance. it has camp. it has complicated families and friendships and. yah.
Only Fools are Satisfied by grumposaur (aka tumblr user @pancakehouse). AGAIN. I admittedly haven't finished this yet, but i'm going to rec it because sports AU girlies rise up and-- YES. this is a wolfstar tennis AU. Do i know anything about tennis? No. Am I hooked? yes. I am in love with sirius as we all should be, and it is so fun. (also, i can't explain it, but tumblr user pancakehouse, there is something...so like...nonchalant and casual about the way you write? effortless, every sentence and i'm enjoying every bit of it).
Just what the doctor ordered by wrappedup: i feel like everyone and their dog recs this one (pun intended) but rightfully so. beware tall remus, but the banter and pacing in this is so good.
Hard to Find by accioromulus. this one is short, easy breezy read. the dialogue is so fun and quick and its just...simple and cute. Muggle Roadtrip AU.
#grey recs things sometimes#enjoy as much as i have!#also pancakehouse im coming for ya!!! i'm going to be in your DMS once i find the courage!!!#also i read very slow#like#super slow#never ask me to beta#sorry bestie andie#i read like a paragraph every couple days and i like it that way#it works for me#ANYWHO BYE#me: recs angsty sad things#also me: its a beach read!#most of these are beach reads ok
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Twilight, but it's a reexamination of the way elves age in most fantasy universes.
"I know what you are. You're skin is pale and you're unbelievably fast."
"Not that fast. Marginally faster than most people. On average."
"Sometimes you speak like you're from another time, I've never seen your ears... and I've only ever seen you eat root vegetables."
"Just say it"
"no, you have to do the line..."
"*fine* Say it, out loud."
"You're an elf."
"Cool. Now can you please just not tell anyone about this?"
---
"How old are you?"
"I dunno, like... 460."
"But you don't look older than 17."
"I spent about 50 years looking like I was 10."
"And how long have you looked like you were 17?"
"uh--probably 200 years? I don't know. We don't age in reverse dog years, there isn't math for this."
"Ugh, Sindreth, you're so stupid."
#started out as my brain going “twiligh vampires are basically just elves”#but then there was the examination that nit physically aging while mentally aging is oddly creepier if edward is an elf#somehow twilight actually functions well with the assumption that vampirism fundamentally stagnates mental growth#but also. Twilight is still super weird for that.#getting on a tangent that has already been done to death#this is about elves#assuming elves are more Tolkien-like and live forever they age very slowly to the point that they are basically just twilight vampires#and its very funny to me to imagine an angsty teenage (by elf standards) elf playing through all the dumb edward scenes#but by the time i wrote the end of the post i just went to the “attracted to stupid people” thing that goes around ever now and then
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I’m hanging from a cliff because of that ending. The rocks are crumbling around me, but I’m hanging on for DEAR LIFE! WHAT! HAVE!! YOU!!! DONE!!!!
Oh Eddie…
NOOO!!! im throwing you a rope i swear!!! help is on the way dear!!!
this makes me desperately hope i have time tonight to write more of the next chapter i gotta give y'all a break truly
#next one isnt going to end on a cliff hanger i swear!!!#its a lil angsty but also very hopeful#sugar/r is gonna finally be able to get a very necesary point across to eddie#and it includes a scene ive been picturing since starting the fic <3#thank u ily <3#maroon
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the way it's killing me to not come onto this blog and gush about all the AUAUs im writing, because then I'd be giving spoilers, but ahhhlksdhgfdkhgldfhl, you all, they're so fun!!!! I wanna gnaw on something!!!!! Like please, let me out of this hell of my own making so I can share all my shit!!!!!
#rrposts#like i completely acknowledge that i would not have this problem if i just posted everything right now#but then how would i torture anyone?#its not fun if i cant torture you all#so alas it must all be kept a secret for now#(omg am i buck in season one of this au? call that method writing lmao)#anyways yall are going to have a blast with these i think#i know i am#one of them is so fucking stupid and i love that#we need silly stories#but also why are some of these bitches getting angsty on me?#like colloquially known as AUAU 11 why did you do that to me?#im dying to go back and add more AUAUs to the earlier chapters#bc i kind of gained steam with these later on and i have gotten more ideas#like chapter 9 inviting them all the the birthday party or calling Eddie in the truck on the way back from the crash anyway#or chapter 13 with someone questioning his personal emergencies or chris getting dropped off#like those would all be so fun#rn im writing an oceans 9-1-1 AUAU which is very silly (hopefully)#then we'll see#might write those call back AUAUs before continuing on#bc they have been gnawing at my brainnnn
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Heads Up Seven Up
I was tagged by @that-angry-noldo to share the last seven lines I wrote in my WIP! Thank you for the summons!
From To Partake:
He had let his anger get the better of him. He realizes that now, like a cold shock to his spine, here in the dark alone. He had overreacted. That is why he is so angry. He is not angry at Elrond, not really. Ereinion is angry with himself. He does not know how he will be able to stand facing Elrond tomorrow.
And from Beneath a Boundless Sky
He meant to broach the idea to Istiel, so she could put the question to her people. To our people, Elrond fiercely reminded himself. My people. Sometimes he wondered if it had been a mistake to refuse to take on any mantle of formal leadership for the remnants of Doriath. He only had not wished to tempt them to name him king — a title Elrond neither wanted nor felt that he deserved — with his Ñoldorin braids and his Fëanorian accent and his ignorance to his own childhood customs. He knew that it was hardly his fault, but there had been plenty of others who were better qualified than he was to lead the Doriathrim. Istiel had been their second choice, and Elrond’s first.
I think most people have already played by now, but just in case I am tagging @raointean @thesolarangel and @greyjedijaneite and whomever else has not played yet but would like to!
#to partake#beneath a boundless sky#these are both so angsty haha#but i'm at that spot rn in both fics#i just think there's no getting around the fact that Elrond was basically colonized as a child and i think that's something he had to#come to terms with#and sort of get used to reclaiming his cultural heritage#celeborn helped a lot#anyway#that doesn't show up often in my work but every once in a while it does rear its ugly ass head#yay trauma!#but i do think it's pretty significant that Elrond overwhelmingly aligns himself with the Sinda in the books#when he was pretty unarguably raised Noldorin from about the age of 7 onward and then was plunged into involvement in a very Noldorin court#as a young adult#or perhaps even younger than that#i have a LOT of thoughts about Elrond's relationship with his Sinda half#which are not going to fit here in the tags
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okay fuck it. I'm proud of this Gay Ass piece and I wanna share it on the Gay Ass website. Here's "Mapagpalaya, Sana"
#um okay to be honest i dont know what would actually be a good translation of the title#because um The Title Is Very Intentional#i guess the nearest would be 'to be free. we hope“ or smth NGJDJ but really There Is A Reason Why The Title Is Like That#but in any case i wrote this for my university publication's pride month coverage#(shhh to those that manage to find it)#i was challenged to combine both Pride Month and Independence Month (june is PH's independence month)#so i combined gay shit and revolutionary shit#(also um u guys get this tidbit: i wrote this as a means of saying farewell to um the person that kinda broke my heart pfffffffttt)#(so its a farewell (break-up) letter on my end eyyyy aint that nice woo being sapphic is so much fun so much angsty material to work with)#izzy's poetry#i gotta streamline the tags for my art#lgbtq#philippines#filipino poetry#chatgpt does a good translation of this actually like legit#it works go try it
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