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phyrestartr · 4 months ago

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My World Ends With You (1/2) | Miguel O'hara x M!Reader

Miguel x Husband!Reader W/C: 4.7k

#SFW, hurt/comfort, infidelity, toxic relationships, brief verbal abuse, mending relationships, difficult/complex feelings and emotions, things work out in the end, nobody dies, the zombies aren't that important, old men just really going through it, ZOMBIES BABEY

Note: Tis a continuation of Till Death Do Us Part . Would rec reading that first lest you get mad confused

“Did Miguel cheat on you?”

The question caught you off guard. As far as you knew, only a handful of people got the gist of what happened, and even fewer knew the exact reason why everything systematically fell apart.

“How'd you–who told you?” You asked Gwen, surprise and trepidation creasing your brow.

The young lady shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest tighter as she leaned toward the fire you'd made–the one you made out of pure restlessness from staying inside for too long. You decided to pretend you were out in the great outdoors like the old days, and set up a ring of rocks and chairs on the roof to escape the fluorescent lights and white walls. Evidently, Gwen needed a break from it all, too.

“Gabi.” She fiddled with her toque and cleared her throat. “She, uh--y'know. She mentioned it.”

“Huh.” Your gaze wandered away from Gwen, and back to the fire. “I didn't think she'd remember.”

“How old was she? When it happened, I mean.”

“Must've been 11. We split when she was 13, I'm pretty sure.” You sighed and leaned back in your shitty old soccer mom chair. “Guess we were bad at hiding it.”

“Pretty hard to hide that kinda thing from your kid,” Gwen mumbled, dwelling on something ancient and sore in the depths of her memories. “They're more perceptive than you think.”

You nodded. The stars caught your attention and you stared up, gazing upon the winking lights and shooting comets flying by. Most of those celestial bodies were there when everything happened. Did they remember, too? Were they haunted, too?

“Yeah. My parents thought I didn't know nothin’ either. They didn't know how wrong that was,” you agreed.

“So he did cheat on you?” Gwen asked. You nodded. She scoffed. “But--why? He always acts so lovey-dovey and gross around you. Why would he–?”

“Good people do bad things,” you said, and continued before she could cut in, “‘n bad people do good things, sometimes.”

“So which camp is he in?” She asked.

“Pretty sure he's mostly good.”

“Pretty sure?”

You chuckled. “I've met ‘bad guys,’ believe me.” You took a breath and nudged some logs around in the fire with a stick. “Miguel ain't like them. He's full of himself, arrogant, stubborn ‘n all that, but he's helped people. He's helping people, even if he's got a crap attitude about it.”

“Right,” Gwen breathed. Her voice carried something heavy with it. Something uncertain and unwavering, like the teeter of winter into spring, or thunder that wondered if it might rain. Her restless energy mirrored the fire as it roiled and spat brilliant sprays of embers into the cold, night sky; only, the fire would eventually die down, calm itself into blackened coals. Gwen’s torch would not fade as such.

“You think he’s a bad guy?” You asked.

“Never really thought he was a good guy.” She rubbed the back of her neck before sighing. “But. Yeah. Never thought he was a bad guy, either. Kinda feels like a vigilante, or something. But less cool.”

You smiled when you peered over at her. “Maybe like an antihero?”

“Way less cool than that, but yeah. Sure. An antihero,” she huffed. “But you’re a blue-blood. I don’t think those types are supposed to get along.”

That made you laugh. “I think they get along pretty well. They do in the comics, even if they don’t see eye-to-eye on everything.”

Gwen rolled her eyes. “You mean most things?”

You nodded. “Yeah, most things.” You tucked your hands into your pockets and gazed up again, this time losing your thoughts to the endless void of grey sweeping in and devouring all light in the sky. “You don't need to worry about me, Gwen. There’re more–”

“More important things to worry about?” She finished, not sounding too impressed. “Feels like you're using the end of the world as an excuse.”

You frowned, and wiped the dew of melted snowflakes from your cheek. “Maybe you got yourself a point, there.”

–

You were the new kid in year 12. Normally, no one gave a shit–it was New York, after all–but you had a tendency to catch everyone's attention when you never sought to try.

You were a country boy. A fella with a strange tendency to be kind and hold doors open for ladies or help some sorry idiot pick up their dropped assignment. That gentle lilt in your voice, the only evidence that you weren't from the city, always had people staring your way. Boys would mock you, especially when their girls flushed soft colours and whispered while they glanced your way. It didn't help that you were handsome as all hell, too.

And one day, like a fucking fairytale, Miguel finally ran into you and got hit with the triple threat that was your accent, face, and genuinity–what he didn't expect, however, was to meet you at the Kwan's ranch.

You were clad in boots and jeans and a stupid cliche cowboy hat hung around your neck, hiding the impressive display of shoulder blades flexing and rippling with strong muscle as you shoveled and cleaned out the old hay and debris from the stables. Something warm and melodious trilled under your breath as you worked, and it beckoned like a siren's song--so captivating Miguel couldn't help himself.

“Hey,” he said.

You looked over your broad shoulder and blinked a few times, like you were showing off the brilliant hue of your eyes on purpose. A kindly smile made you shine brighter, too, like the sun somehow lit you up from within.

“Howdy,” you said.

“Howdy?” Miguel snorted and tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts as he wandered in. “That's a little too country, isn't it?”

“Is it now?” The twang in your voice must’ve been fake. No normal person sounded like they were ripped straight from a Western. “Maybe you're just too city.”

“Hm.” Miguel crossed his arms and leaned against a beam as he watched you continue to work. “Maybe.”

“Come on, now,” you laughed, “I can smell the city on you. Could probably taste it, too, if I could.”

Miguel's face burned. His heart pitter-pattered just a little bit faster, soon going a lot faster when he registered the wink you threw his way. Were you flirting? Was it working? Was Miguel swooning?

Yes, yes and yes.

–

“Y'know, you don't have to be such a busy body,” Miguel said, wandering into the lab-turned-greenhouse. He had to admit, it looked good. Peaceful. And it certainly helped with keeping everyone fed and happy. So did your presence at Alchemax; you and Gabriella felt like a fresh coat of paint on a beat-up old car. A nice change. Good additions.

And Miguel felt complete now that you were with him, too. There were still issues, still things to work out and problems to talk about, but it felt nice to work towards something selfish and meaningful. Something that was wholly and unabashedly for him and him alone.

But you were such a restless man. All day, every day, Miguel found you working; clearing snow, repotting, sowing seeds, cleaning, teaching, handyman-ing were all on your resume of husband material and so clearly those skills ruled your mind every waking hour of every day. It didn't help that the other folks In the colony realized just how much of a do-gooder sweetheart you were. Miguel was one more flirty comment away from nuking the building.

But the way you smiled in the face of adversity let him keep a reasonable cool. Whether it was your awkward attempt to be cordial with someone who so clearly thirsted for you and your attention, or in a sheepish and innocently guilty way whenever Miguel called you out for working too much, you had a way of melting his frigid heart into something cool and light like an autumnal spring.

“I’m just puttering,” you hummed, pausing what you were doing to lean in and give him a kiss, careful to keep your dirt-crusted hands away from him and his neatness. “Just movin’ some of these into bigger pots. Don’t want them to go dying on us.”

“I think they’d live.” Miguel hummed as he looked over the array of little plants sprouting with flourishes of brilliant emerald. His hand slipped to the small of your back before his arms looped around your waist, and he pulled you flush against his chest. “I need you more than they do.”

You laughed, soft and smoky. “That right?”

“Yeah.” Miguel left a sweet kiss on your neck, right on the odd, heart-shaped-ish scar he used to leave hickeys over back in the day. “They’re not the only ones that need fertilizing.”

“Christ. Did Pete teach you that one?” You laughed, but didn’t crumble and fertilize Miguel. Damn.

Your partner huffed. “Come on, just–can’t you take a break, viejo?” He kissed your neck another handful of times and buried his face into the strong curve of your shoulder with a most petulant sigh. “Feels like I only get to see you when we go to bed.”

“Not much different from how it used to be,” you said. “I worked nights, you worked days. Hardly got to see each other.”

“I hated it,” Miguel mumbled. And you actually paused, your busy hands halting with the rest of your body. “I wanted you home with me. I didn’t want you to work nights.”

He felt you shift again, the sound of your hands under running water sparking hope in his chest. But he snuffed it out himself–he knew you too well. You weren’t the type to stop when something needed to be done. Miguel couldn’t fault you for it, though, not when he was the exact same way.

“Miggs.” You turned in his arms and held the sides of his face. “I’m not going anywhere. No night shifts, no driving after gun-toutin’ idiots on the highway, no overtime. You can always find me if you need me.”

“Would you've come for me and Dana–” he stopped, a bout of regret punching the words back down his throat. The sudden distance in your eyes and the stiffness of your touch haunted him. Why did he have to talk? Why was he still chasing you away like this?

“Don't,” Miguel pleaded, his hands flying up to your arms, holding you still.

An overcast of something chased away the far look. Miguel wished he could read you as easily as you read him. He didn't know what you were thinking. Did he ever?

“I still have some things I'm working on getting past, Miggs,” you managed. “I don't--I'm trying.”

Miguel nodded. What could he say, really? Try harder? Love me more? Get over it already? Your marriage reached a difficult point before the apocalypse; now, it'd climbed to new heights, but problems erased themselves thanks to the simple fact that the world had ended. There were more deadly things to worry about in the present.

“Just let me know if I can help,” your partner offered. And you smiled, tired and weary, unknowingly soothing the frigid panic freezing Miguel's veins.

“Promise I will.” You gently stroked the arch of his cheekbone with the back of your knuckles. “Just don't worry too much. I'm alright.”

And he believed you.

–

“Who's your friend?”

The question drove Miguel insane, like a chisel tapping away at marble. Because everyone asked when they saw you, a stupidly handsome, ridiculously tall, polite southern gentleman dressed to the nines in a custom suit Miguel picked out himself–garments he picked out for his fiancé. His betrothed. His to-be husband.

Miguel's coworkers knew he was taken. He thought it'd be obvious by whom since, well, he rolled up to the event with you and had complimentary outfits with you and you were wearing a fucking ring on the finger.

Still, countless folks introduced themselves to you, sweeping you up into conversations and leaning in too close for comfort. Miguel’s ego swelled, sure; he had the most impeccable, handsome, perfect man in the world, but his jealousy chomped away at his temper. He didn't like people thinking they had a chance with you. It was funny at first, but you were too nice to snap at them, to put them in their places. And, quite frankly, Miguel had had more than enough of watching his damn coworkers throw themselves at you the second they heard that stupid, endearing drawl or saw your charming, lopsided smile.

He floated to your side, anchoring an arm around your waist while his other hand held a crystalline glass of something golden and fancy.

“Hey,” Miguel hummed as your eyes met, and he leaned in, planting a soft, sweet peck onto your lips. “Havin’ fun?” The energy around the bystanders shifted dramatically. Miguel felt more pleased than a lion catching its prey.

“Better now that you’re here,” you hummed, eyes creasing with a gentle tilt of your lips. He loved that look on you. It was the same one you wore every morning when you cooed your sweet good morning-s.

“I make everything better,” Miguel agreed. He finished his drink and handed it off to whatever poor sod stood beside him. “Guess they haven’t heard the good news.”

Your head tilted as whispers spread around you both. “Thought you would’ve told ‘em by now, honey.”

“Well,” Miguel said, sing-songy and so obviously annoyed and bitter with how annoying this event had been for him. He took your hand and brought it up, feigning examination while purposefully catching the light on the band of gold hugging your finger. “I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to not put two and two together.”

With that, the vibe died. Soft scoffs and muttered words were left in the wake of party-goers as they abandoned the two of you. Some offered anxious goodbyes to you before shuffling off, but many who’d been burned and shit on by Miguel in the past were not pleasant enough to separate you from your man. Which Miguel preferred.

Miguel smirked to himself, satisfied with his work. Though, when he met your eyes, you looked anything but impressed. Oops. He probably should’ve considered the aftermath.

“Look, they should know who they're messing with,” he testified.

You quirked a brow. “You mean who they're talkin’ to?”

Miguel huffed, the smallest of pouts forming. “Don't give me that. They were all over you.”

“Honey, no one's ever gonna replace you, alright? You've got nothin’ to worry about.” Still exasperated, you smiled, and fixed his tie for him, giving it a light tug and tucking it back against his breast neatly. “You think I'd ever fool around behind your back?”

“What? No.” Why wouldn’t you? You were handsome, a gentleman, a man who could have anything and anyone you wanted with looks and charm alone. So maybe–maybe that's why Miguel did what he did. Maybe he was trying to show you just how wrong you were.

“Exactly. Now, you stop worrying and try to enjoy the event, alright? Promise I'll stay by your side for peace of mind,” you said with a wink. Miguel melted. You were too good for him.

“Por dios–yeah, alright, okay. Fine.” He huffed and pulled you in close to him again and gave you a sweet kiss to seal the deal.

And of course, it was in that moment Dana passed him by with a smile full of secrets and damning evidence–a vault that he wanted to break open and force you to face.

–

Miles fucked up.

He yanked open that fucking car door–specifically when told not to–and set off the dinner bell for whatever undeads still wandered the streets of New York.

The race through the city streets wasn't so easy, not after years of the military, militia and more trying to block off streets, take a stance against the unending hordes threatening human existence–tanks, trucks, barricades and more littered and cluttered the streets like the puddles after a storm. Every vault and jump was uncertain despite determined, never really knowing if the next car the group jumped onto would throw one of you to the ground with a broken leg or twisted ankle. Miguel almost wished Miles shattered his knee.

Especially when you nearly didn't make it inside.

Miguel pulled you through just as they got the shitty garage door down, and he pulled you up, eyes wide and jaw set as pain jolted your features.

“Hey, hey, what's–you're fine. You're fine,” he whispered. His hand frantically touched where they could before settling on either side of your face as you both fought to catch your breath. “You're fine.”

But you shook your head. “I, uh--need you to back away from me, baby.”

“No.”

“I gotta make sure, be careful–”

“No.”

You pulled his hands away from your face, and Miguel saw liquid ruby stain his skin, too.

“Listen,” you rasped as you limped toward a rundown car with your cuffs unlatched from your belt. “We gotta–gotta clear the shop. Miggs, you take care of the doors.”

But he didn’t. He stood still, shoulders rolling with the heavy breaths he sucked in while you and Gwen puttered around the small, homely garage to the tune of the undead hissing and snarling just beyond the metal door. Miguel took a deep breath, in through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the–

“I–uh, what should I do?” Miles asked.

Miguel whirled around and stalked to him, explosive rage fuelling his steps across the room. He grabbed Miles’ shirt and slammed him into the wall, looming over him like a titan.

“You are not going to do anything,” Miguel growled. Miles’ eyes widened as he shrunk. “This is your fucking fault in the first place.”

“Hey, he’s just a kid–” Gwen tried, but Miguel’s quick glance her way stalled her. “He didn’t mean to–”

“That’s the problem. He doesn’t know how to survive out here and he’s not willing to use his fucking brain to fill in the gaps.”

“Dude, let go of me!” Miles snapped, panic lancing through the quiver in his voice. “You can’t–” Miguel slammed him into the wall again. The undead shrieked and howled a mere half a foot away beyond the stone walls barring them out.

Miguel basked in the dread eating away at Miles’ confidence. “It was a mistake to bring you here. You were a mis–”

You yanked Miguel off the kid and slammed him into the wall, hand clapping over your partner’s mouth while your red-hot stare bore into the back of his skull and pinned him still. Your other hand held firm over his throat. You didn’t hurt him, but the fingertips digging into the straining tendons of Miguel’s neck threatened the opposite.

“Quiet,” is what you commanded.

The room fell silent. And it stayed that way. It was hard to tell if anyone still breathed or lived in the minutes you all stood, patient, suffocating, and you stayed in that unsure limbo while the bloodthirsty reverie gradually de-crescendoed in the placid muteness. Slowly, slowly, with each wandering corpse that left to chase errant noises or to wander aimlessly with no mission left in mind, the air in your sanctuary began to heal.

Your grip became kinder, and you let go, staggering back on unsteady legs. Then, you collapsed.

–

Your injury turned out to be a gash, not a bite. It ran across your shoulder horizontally, accented by a few other gouges bloodying your exhausted face and Miguel's busy hands.

He stitched you up carefully yet thoroughly, eagerly trying to finish the job while you squeezed your eyes closed and gnawed on the belt wedged between your teeth. To your credit, you handled the temp stitches well. You only really shifted and panicked when Miguel tried to flush the wound with what water he had on hand.

“That should hold until we get back,” he murmured for your ears only. He cut the thread with his teeth after tying it off, and wrapped your arm with a strip of torn shirt.

You nodded tiredly and let him take the belt from between your teeth. “Thank you.” You sat up a little straighter against the wall and took deep breaths, eyes squeezed closed and brow beaded with sweat.

Heat flared in Miguel’s chest. If not for you, Miguel would have ripped Miles a new one. He might have even thrown him to the undead in your name. If you'd come out infected, doomed to die, he'd make sure Miles suffered the same.

“Don't be so hard on him,” you rasped, voice blending with the soft crackle of the unconvincing campfire.

Miguel's stare hardened into ice. “He could've–”

“Miguel.” He looked at you, and melted as you leaned into his warmth. “Lectures can wait. We need to get home first.”

You were right. And it enraged Miguel further. He wanted to take his anger out on something, or better yet someone, but you just–

“You remember when you proposed?” You whispered.

The creases between Miguel's brows lifted and smoothed. “‘Course I remember.” He slid a careful arm around your waist and held you to his side. He kissed the top of your head and inhaled your scent. “You were coming home from a night shift.”

He remembered it too clearly, actually. You, being exhausted and out of it, still suited up in your uniform when you came through the door with a yawn.

Coffee, your other beloved, lured you to the kitchen where Miguel knew you'd find him. Though he hated not waking up beside you those mornings, he cherished the sleepy back hugs you'd greet him with while you both waited for the carafe to fill.

“Mornin’,” you grumbled into his neck between small kisses. “Sleep good?”

Miguel always leaned back into you and basked in the wander of your hands and the scent of cigarettes hiding in your words. It all meshed too well with the bitterness of coffee. “Woulda slept better with you here.”

You hummed, crackly and apologetic. “Good thing that was my last night shift this block, hey? Get to wake up with you tomorrow.” Your fingertips dragged up the hem of shirt in your search to feel the dips and curves of his toned stomach. “And the next day, and the next day…”

Miguel turned in your arms to spy your drowsy smile. He cupped your face, running his thumbs along the bags under your eyes, before giving you a peck. “I think you need a nap, mi amor.”

“No, no, ‘m fine. Promise. Just need a shower ‘n I'll be right as rain.” You took one of his hands in your own and turned to kiss his palm. “Wouldn’t be opposed to a mid-morning nap, though.”

“Lucky for you, I'm getting back in bed after coffee's done.” Miguel kissed you again, purposely mooshing his nose against yours. “Go take a shower. I'll pour you a cup.”

You hummed, accepting the offer, and very very reluctantly separated from your lover. “Just don't make mine too crazy sweet, alright?”

Miguel huffed. “Tch. I don't even make it that sweet.” But you were already sauntering off to the ensuite, loud yawn punctuating your departure. “Pendejo.”

The coffee maker beeped not too long after. Thoughts of what to do with the weekend swirled through Miguel's mind with the springy, disoriented bounce of ADHD while he made up both of your coffees, one just sorta sweet, and one just a little (a lot) sweeter. Honestly, Miguel was bad at making coffee to your taste. Too often he'd watch you stand at the coffee maker, measuring cream, sugar and coffee in your quest to achieve a perfect bitterness to sweetness ratio.

But when Miguel made you coffee, you never complained. Simply requested it not be too sweet. And everytime Miguel handed you that cup, trepidation filling the childish part of his pride, you always declared it was perfect from the first sip.

Perfect. Like you. Like his life. That's why he needed to–

“Honey,” you called, bringing your partner back to the present. He turned to you, eyebrows raising in interest at just how low the towel hung from your hips–until he saw the small box in your hand. That made his heart start pounding.

Miguel crossed his arms and cleared his throat, trying to hide his sheer panic. “Where did you–”

“You forgot it in the bathroom. I think. Found it on the counter.”

Shit. Fuck. Shit. He really forgot to put that stupid thing away. He really went all cliché romcom and rehearsed in front of the mirror and didn't put the fucking ring away. What the fuck was wrong with him? He was supposed to be a goddamn genius, and yet–

You opened the box because of course you would. Anyone with a shred of curiosity would. And you whistled in a way that only cowboys could. Back when you were both young, you whistled at Miguel like that when he walked by. Lyla said you weren't one to do that, that that was a first for you.

“Damn. This thing looks expensive.” You pulled the gold ring out and looked it over as Miguel came to you. The band was simple gold, yes, but inlaid was a diamond flanked by your birthstone and his, all shaped in a striking baguette cut. The piece was simple and masculine, something befitting you entirely.

But you were too out of it to realize what the fuck it was you were holding.

“Bet I could buy a farm with this.”

Miguel had to laugh a bit at that. “Most people would say a house, you know.”

“Farm's better. Comes with a house.” You snatched up his hand and examined his fingers, probably sizing up which one the ring–your ring--was supposed to fit on. “Either way, you’re gonna turn heads with a whole mortgage on your finger, I'll tell you what.”

Miguel's chest warmed. Maybe because of your smooth way of talking, or maybe because you were too sweet and admiring of your partner. Miguel couldn't tell. But it was probably both.

“On my finger?” He repeated as he plucked the ring from the box. His heart beat in his ears. His face burned. But it was now or never. “I think it'd look better on yours.”

“What?” You asked, soft and confused, sorta like you'd realized what that ring meant halfway through. “Wait, wait–”

“I was going to.” Miguel slid the fine gold band on your left ring finger. “But then you ruined the surprise.”

There was something magical in that moment. Your hand in Miguel's, the sparkle of new promise shining on your finger, the glitter of crystals pooling in your eyes. And your eyes were so wide, like you didn't quite believe Miguel would want to marry someone like you, so he had to say it, if not for the cliché, movie finale:

“Will you marry m–”

You kissed him before he could finish. Your arms flew around his neck as your weight hit him like a ton of bricks. But he caught you both and held you close, laughing against your lips as the ball of doubt unraveled as every whispered chant of ‘yes, yes, yes,’ touched his skin.

Those days were good. They were simple. They were The start of everything Miguel could have dreamed of–and then he ruined it.

“Still hard to believe you wanted me, sometimes,” you reminisced, looking down at the dull, chipped set of rings hugging your finger still.

“You're the only one,” he murmured into your hair. “Even when–even if I–no matter what. No matter what, it was always you. It'll always be you.” Then where's your ring, Miguel?

You hummed and sunk into your partner's warmth more, staying silent with your thoughts as you watched the dim flicker of the fire and the two others collapsed around it. “Try not to be so hard on Miles.” Ah. “He screwed up. But we need to keep morale up.”

Miguel huffed. “So you only mentioned our–you just wanted me to stop thinking about today.”

“I wanted you to relax, sweetheart.” God, that smile was so clear in your voice.

“Tch. Pendejo. He deserves to be yelled at.”

“By his father. At home. Where it's safe.”

“Fine.”

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel x reader #atsv imagine #atsv reader insert #male reader insert #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x male reader #miguel x male reader #male!reader #atsv male!reader insert #atsv x reader #atsv x you #miguel x you #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #phyrestartr

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absolutebl · 1 year ago

Note

BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

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heybank · 7 months ago

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DENY PART FOUR

omg here is part four!! this chapter is a little longer (i think)

smut is literally so hard to write bc i'm like wait where is everyone's hands. who's body part is where??? anyway i hope you like it :)

cw: oral (m rec) cumplay, mention of virginity

masterlist here

pogues (nsfw 18+)

they hadn't exactly told the others about their new relationship. they've been lucky so far with john b caught up in sarah and kie is busy with working at the wreck and the new girl she's been seeing and doesn't think we know about.

we've all been so stuck in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship, learning each others bodies and navigating dating as a polyamorous throuple.

grace wishes she could stay in this bliss, cocooned in her boyfriends heat and scents. right now they're in popes bedroom, the three of them squished together on his small twin sized mattress, trying to touch every inch of each other.

you've all discussed about what or how to tell your friends but right now you want to keep it a secret. you're not ashamed but you're a little afraid of possible repercussions you all will face when the truth comes out.

you think john b will be confused at first, he's always been a little thick in the skull but you know he'll come around. sarah will not care at all and probably want to corner you and hear all your juicy details.

kie might be tricky, she's been adamant about the no pogue on pogue macking and now here you are, macking on two of them.

you and jj are kind of lucky in the aspect of your parents literally do not care if you live or die so there's no worry about telling them. pope on the other hand, you're a little worried mr and mrs heyward won't understand or be not so accepting. you know they love pope but ignorance sometimes sticks to your bones and makes people feel certain ways about certain things. pope jokes they'll be happy he's dating you, they love you. they just might not be enthusiastic about trouble maker white boy extraordinaire.

jj says no matter what you'll all have each other and that thought makes you pull your boys in even tighter.

"pope..." you softly ask your brown eyed boy, "can i suck your dick?"

the question and the innocence of how you asked it makes both boys choke on their spit. despite the steaminess of your dream and some heavy petting here and there, none of you have actually gone all the way with each other. you and pope are virgins, jj is the only one with experience. you cringe thinking about your man with other people.

"yeah? you wanna suck my dick pretty?" pope asks, trying to be cool but he's really fucking hyped.

"yeah." you answer shyly. "wanna make you feel good and then i wanna make j feel good too."

none of you have to say anymore words, pope jumps off his bed and walks over to where you were sitting on his computer chair, you pull him in for a hug and give him a soft slow kiss.

"jj, will you teach me?" you inquire.

"yeah baby girl, i'll help you make pope feel really good." he responds.

you kneel down in front of pope, eagerly going to his belt buckle and undoing his shorts. you pull them down his legs and see his prominent bulge in his boxer briefs, precum staining the grey material.

"tease him through his boxers, baby." jj prompts you.

you lean in and nuzzle popes covered dick with your nose and mouth. softly suckling him through the fabric. you moan at his scent. he smells clean mixed with salt water and musk that is inherently pope.

out of the corner of your eye you see jj pulling out his dick and giving it a soft tug. he's getting so turned on watching you give pope his first blow job.

"don't tease anymore grace, please" pope whines.

you nod and slowly pull the boys underwear down to his ankles so pope can step out of them. you see his dick sprig up and hit his tummy with a soft smack and you gasp at the size. he's bigger than jj in length, even tho jjs cock is thicker. you squeeze your thighs together to release some pressure that's been building up in your core.

you gently grab popes dick and give the tip a kitten lick, moaning out loud at the taste.

"go on and lick him, princess. from his balls and back to his tip." jj directs. he's still softly tugging at his own dick.

"will you help me jj? suck his dick with me?" you ask coyly. you know your innocent act turns them on beyond belief.

"yeah? you want me to suck his dick baby? you want that pope?"

the poor heyward boy just looks blissed out, eyes downcast. he just moans and nods in consent. the thought of both his partners sucking his dick together makes him want to nut right then and there.

you move to the side to make room for jj to also sit in front of popes cock. jj pulls you in for a passionate kiss, sticking his tongue in your mouth, moaning a little when he tastes pope on your tongue.

when you end your kiss you and jj both lean in to suckle on popes cock, at this point he's dripping with precum and is so close to busting.

you open your mouth and try to suck his dick down your throat, moving your head up and down causing pope to grab the hair at the back of your head. he doesn't push you further onto his cock tho, ever the gentleman.

while you're sucking his dick jj leans forward and takes one of popes balls into his mouth causing both boys to moan for different reasonings.

you pull off popes cock with a gasp, spit and precum all over your mouth and chin, leaving his cock wet and shiny.

this encourages jj to lean in and continue on what you were just doing. he's never sucked a dick before but he has one of his own so he knows what would potentially feel good.

you raise your hand to jjs hair and begin massaging his head, casual intimacy that you've always had with the boy regardless of sex. you also take note you're still holding popes hand with your other one, essentially connecting all three of you together.

"i'm gonna cum- jj please" pope moans.

"can he cum on my face jj please i want it in my mouth and on my face!"

jj released popes cock with a sly grin and lifts his hand so he can jack the other boy off.

"yeah, you wanna cum on her face pope? make our girl all dirty?"

a few more pumps and pope is shooting out warm streams of his cum, loud moans and cries coming from the heyward boys mouth.

you moan at the feeling of his warm cum landing on your cheek and mouth, causing you to open it and suck down the remaining of popes load.

"fuck that was the best orgasm i've ever had." pope breathlessly says, knees buckling so he can join the two of you on the floor.

jj leans in to kiss you, licking at your face and lips to help clean off popes cum, with a mouthful still in mouth, he leans in and kisses pope, tongues collided and popes release being shared back and forth between the two boys. they are so fucking hot.

once the boys pull away from each other, you give out a giggle and excitedly start pawing at jjs still hard leaking cock.

"your turn!!" you say with eyes full of lust.

you're all at the chateau, sitting around the fire when it's actually pope who slips up. you're all calm and slightly tipsy from beers. pope gets up telling everyone he needs to leave for the night cause his dad needs help in the morning. he plants a kiss on jj without even thinking, moving onto you with ease. he doesn't clock the silence from the rest of the pogues or their wide eyes and shocked faces.

"surprise!" you cheer, blush scorching your face as you grab jjs hand for reassurance. jj reaching out to grab popes and pull him closer in case this goes sideways.

"i fucking knew it!" sarah cheers jumping out of her seat in triumph! "you owe me $5 john b!" she gloats.

uh oh.

taglist: (lmk if you wanna be added)

@theoraekenslover

@redhead1180

@motherfing-stargirl

#jj maybank #pope heyward #obx #outer banks #jj maybank x reader #my headcanons #jj maybank x oc #kiara carrera #pope x reader x jj #john b routledge #sarah cameron #pope heyward x reader #smut #fic #imagine

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peachesofteal · 10 months ago

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i would love a book recommendation list from you whenever you have the time to write one up :-)

Hi! I put together a list of everything I've personally read and enjoyed. Please remember these are my personal recs. To each their own. These are fantasy/high fantasy recs only, and one science fiction because I cannot resist talking about Dune.

Mistborn (7 books split into two eras) and The Stormlight Archive (4 books) - Brandon Sanderson - Just read them. I can't even begin to cover the way I have consumed the Cosmere (his multiverse). Complex magical systems that make sense. These are my number one recommendation.

The Poppy War (and it's two subsequent books)- R. F. Kuang - technically it's military-ish fantasy. The magic blends really well and I didn't put these down. I loved how Rin was more morally grey. It teaches, too.

Wheel of Time (sixteen ish books) - Robert Jordan with an assist from Brandon Sanderson at the end - one of my favs. Typical hero stuff but I love the world and the magic system. I watch the show too, and would recommend if you want to get a little excited about reading them. This series ruined me for a while, it was really hard to get into anything else.

Malazan - ten books - Steven Erickson. I read these a while ago but they’re very engrossing.

The Priory of the Orange Tree (and A Day of Fallen Night) - Samantha Shannon - I devoured these! Really liked them. Sometimes the pacing is a little weird but… would recommend.

All Souls Trilogy - Deborah Harkness - okay it’s historical fantasy but definitely check these out. Witches, vampires, demons… dark haired love interest and Deborah Harkness really weaves the history so well, I loved them. She has an additional book in this universe that I didn’t like so much BUT she has a new one coming out soon and I’m excited.

And finally... Dune - Frank Herbert (only, NOT the books his kids wrote. So six titles, ending with Chapterhouse: Dune) - Science Fiction. If you’ve seen the first movie you more or less than know the premise but I promise you there is so much more. I am aware that some interpretations of this story reduce it to a white savior narrative but that’s simply NOT the case and you would have no idea unless you actually read the full six books.

Last thing: I don’t recommend jumping from series to series. Take a break or read a romcom. These stories are deeply detailed and very engulfing. Learning new worlds, magical systems, religions, races, etc when you change books can be confusing and do a disservice to the book and yourself. “The first book” in a lot these can be hard to chew or digest because you’re learning so much, so keep that in mind! 🩵

#peaches asks #book recommendations #book recs

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stuffandsundry · 1 year ago

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Transformers Skyfire/Jetfire Crochet Pattern

Made it up this week! I am not an experienced pattern maker, but i still think he turned out pretty well! I wouldn't rec this for a first project, but if you've done some crochet before then help yourself.

What You'll Need

Red Yarn

White Yarn

Blue Yarn

Grey Yarn

(Optional) 2 Sizes Crochet Hooks - I used 3.0mm and 2.5mm, but if you only have 1, I rec 3.0mm

Tapestry needle

Terms

CH-chain stitch

SL-slip stitch

MC-magic circle

SC-single crochet

INC-do two single crochet in one stitch

DEC-do one single crochet over two stitches

Okay, now heres the pattern itself:

Body

WHITE yarn

MC 6

INC 6

SC 12

(SC, INC) X 6

SC 18

(INC, SC 7, INC) X 2

(INC, SC 10) X 2

SC 24

SC 22, DEC

DEC 2, SC 7, DEC 3, SC 7

(DEC, SC 6) X 2

DEC til closed, hide tail

Backpack

RED yarn

CH 7

Turn and SC 5, INC (3 in one stitch), SC 6

SC 14

Swap WHITE yarn

SC 14

Swap RED yarn

SC 14

DEC til closed, leave tail

That Thing On Top Of The Backpack

BLUE yarn, and, if you have it, the smaller crochet hook

CH 5

Turn, SC 4

Swap WHITE yarn

SC 4, SL 1, turn

Tie off, leave tail

For the winglets: SL 4 and sew on

At this point, I recommend sewing the 2 main backpack parts together using the tail. The blue window should be just the row underneath the white stripe on the backpack

Wings (x2)

WHITE yarn

MC 5

INC, SC 4

INC, SC 5

INC, SC 6

INC, SC 7

INC, SC 8, leaving tail

Detailing on wings: CH 18-20, however long you need to cover the shorter edge of the wings. Sew together, hide tail.

The wings should sit in the crevice between the body of the plushie and the backpack. You can go ahead and sew them together at this part. I recommend sewing one side of the circle at the base of a wing to the backpack first, repeat with the other. Then, you can sew the other side of the circle onto the body. For additional security, you can also use the tail of the red backpack to secure it better to the shuttle body. We're almost done!

Thrusters (x2)

GREY yarn, smaller crochet hook

MC 6

SC 6, leave tail

Sew onto back of shuttle

Cockpit window

BLUE yarn

MC 5 (do not complete the circle)

Sew onto nose of shuttle

And that's all! thanks for staying with me! Id like to try to make more transformers in crochet sometime, so we'll see how this pans out. In true third party transformers plausible deniability fashion, I think that I will call this Sundry's Crochet Transformers SCT-01 Sky Marshmallow, hahaha.

See you around!

#maccadam #skyfire #jetfire #transformers #sundrystitchy;

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stevetonyweekly · 2 months ago

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SteveTony Weekly - September 22 - Week 38

Hi, friends!! I hope you’re having a good week and reading lots of excellent things. Quick note that MTH is back! So if that’s your jam, sign up as a creator, or get ready for auction week coming at the end of next month! Ok, here we go with this week’s recs:

rutted old road by meidui

It’s his loneliness screaming, out here in the mountains where nobody else is, begging to know—are you like me?

my thoughts: i didn’t know that this was @meidui’s work when I started reading it, which was very late at night and very very silly of me. It’s all the things I love about her stories, angsty and sweet and lyrically gorgeous. Read it.

Buried by NotEvenCloseToStraight

When Howard Stark demands Tony work at a dig site in S.America one summer to "build character" and "learn about life", Tony is furious.

But then he meets soldier/archeologist Steve and falls in love with blue eyes and a perfect smile. Just as they are ready to move forward together, Steve leaves abruptly with no explanation and breaks Tonys heart.

Ten years later, Tony stumbles across the file for the old dig site. He's determined to visit and shut it down, but discovers that instead of a village, the dig has unconvered a temple and actually needs MORE money to stay open. A security team is hired to protect the staff and the artifacts they find, and Tony comes face to face with Steve Rogers all over again– except Steve is bearded and BIGGER and way more dangerous than he used to be...And Tony likes it.

When the camp is attacked, Steve jumps into action, snatching Tony and running into the jungle to escape and work their way towards safety.

But long days and nights together bring back old feelings, and one day Steve takes a risk and asks Tony to give them another chance.

Will Tony say yes? Or is his heart buried too far for the soldier-turned- archaeologist-turned-mercenary to find it?

my thoughts: i’ve read this before but I’m a sucker for trapped together life or death situations, and NCTS does it beautifully.

The Tchotchke Cha Cha by Arukou

What started off as one impulse buy souvenir snowballs into a constant flow of knickknacks from all over the world, and Steve is starting to wonder if it's more than just Tony being nice.

my thoughts: tony showing affection through random gifts is never not gonna hit. Steve being sweetly besotted and just a tiny bit jealous? Perfection.

You and Me and Him by navaan for magicasen

If you live in the same house, it’s really hard to keep your secrets. Especially if you are good friends. He doesn’t mean to watch as closely as he does, but it’s obvious to Steve that Tony and Iron Man are in a relationship. Right?

my thoughts: identity porn!!! Who doesn’t love it.

Dancing With Your Ghost by LunaStories

Tony never thought he'd be here, getting his wings groomed by Captain America of all people. It was too intimate, but Steve had offered and he was too weak to resist.

my thoughts: grooming as caretaking and steve neglecting himself and taking care of tony? Perfect.

you're a bandit like me by Areiton

He feels, sometimes, like a junkie, waiting for the needle to slide in, for the poison to hit his veins, and then--

The portal clears, and Tony grins up, laughing at something Steve can't see, and the air rushes out of him.

Staring at his husband, a version of him--Earth 21982, he reads absently--Steve feels almost lightheaded with relief, and he whispers, "Hey, sweetheart."

my thoughts: a little morally grey Steve and grief? Sounds just about right.

#stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #iron man #captain america #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

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loneamaryllis · 4 months ago

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Snarriet Rec List - Long fics (100k+)

Certain Dark Things

by evejenson (rentachi). Rated M. Nearly 900k, WIP. Slytherin Harry. Wrong-Boy-Who-Lived. Mentor Tom Riddle.

They sought her out for conversation sometimes, cornering her in the garden or at the park, not that they ever had much to say. Really, Harriet thought snakes were rather dull.

---------

Harriet Potter has always been odd. Between having a shadow that moves on its own and chatting with grass snakes, learning she's a witch really isn't the strangest thing to happen to the bespectacled girl with a lightning scar on her neck.

Harriet attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she makes new friends, encounters a prickly Potions Master, learns about the Boy Who Lived, and meets the enigmatic Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, Professor Tom Slytherin.

Why I rec it: This is the best HP fic, period. A retelling of the entire series, where Harriet is sorted in Slytherin in a world where Voldemort won (but not overtly so). Incredible character work, dense world-building fed to us in perfectly-sized bites, clever foreshadowing, and really, really great writing overall. Plus, if you love Voldemort, you'll love what the author did with him in this fic. I can't recommend it enough.

Saving Snape

by @loneamaryllis. Rated E. 206k. Auror Harry Potter. Sentient Hogwarts. Courting Rituals.

Severus Snape is receiving death threats. The Ministry decides that Auror Harrie Potter should be assigned to his protection.

Why I rec it: A self rec! Someone is trying to kill Snape and Harrie has to protect him. There's a mystery, some angst, some pining, a lot of smut in the later half of the fic, and a sentient Hogwarts who ships Snarriet.

Carrying Atlas

by @hirukochan. Rated E. 126k, WIP. (Underage) Daddy Dom Severus Snape. BDSM Contract. Collaring.

On a late night walk Snape stumpled upon no other than Harriet Potter who was once again in trouble. How deep the trouble ran and why none of those close to her realised how badly she was taking the loss of her godfather would remain a mystery but Snape had sacrificed too much to let her give up now.

Harrie tries to cope through meaningless sex with strangers and Snape decides in order to keep her safe from depraved men only wanting to exploit her he has to become one of them and make it worth her while.

Why I rec it: The Snarriet BDSM fic! Harrie enters into a contract with Snape as some sort of therapy. The smut is ultra hot, Snape is very respecting of Harrie's boundaries while having to deal with his own issues, and while there's angst, there are also a lot of fluffy moments. Plus there's not a lot of Snarriet fics where Harrie calls Snape Daddy so if that's what you're looking for, you're in for a treat.

The Blood of the Enemy

by @rose-colored-glasses7. Rated M. 154k, WIP. (Underage) Blood and Violence. Morally Grey Harry Potter. Toxic Relationship.

Cedric Diggory is dead. Following the terrible ending to the Triwizard Tournament, Emma Potter has returned to the Dursleys to mourn the death of her boyfriend. However, soon enough, an attack on Privet Drive leads to her arrival at 12 Grimmauld Place - the headquarters to the mysterious Order of the Phoenix. The blood wards have fallen. When frightful visions begin to consume her mind, Emma's forced to take lessons with her hateful potions professor. Cruel, sadistic, dark, by any right the lessons should make her hate him even more. Only, as the lessons continue, she finds herself more and more drawn to him... Lord Voldemort has returned. As the latest Defense professor wreaks havoc on Hogwarts, Emma searches for answers about the terrible connection between her and Voldemort - and why, exactly, he came after her all those years ago. The web of truth and lies is unraveling… and she begins to wonder if Emma Potter was ever really alive at all. With war looming on the horizon and the Ministry in firm denial of his return, Emma begins her worst year at Hogwarts yet. The question is, can she survive it?

Why I rec it: Emma Potter is a great take on a female Harry. She's a bit darker, a bit more cerebral, and her connection to Voldemort takes more place than in canon. Her relationship with Snape is wonderfully multi-layered and so tense!

Gravity

by SlytherinsQuill. Rated E. 268k, WIP. Violence. Trauma. Eventual Happy Ending.

What if Harry Potter was born a girl and known as Rosalie Potter? How might it change the dynamics of life as the most famous teenager in the Wizarding World? At the end of Rosalie Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts, war has broken out in the Wizarding World as a result the attack on Hogwarts. Forced to spend the summer at Grimmauld Place for her own safety, Rosalie learns more about herself and the people around her than she ever thought possible. Relationships form, friendships change and she learns just how much the people in your life influence who you are and who you have the potential to become.

Why I rec it: A great fic depicting the evolving relationship between Rosalie and Snape with the hunt for Horcruxes as a background. The smut scenes are so well-crafted, very emotional and both soft and passionate. Some scenes are so epic they'll stay with you for a long time.

The Never-Ending Road and its sequel No Journey's End

by @laventadorn. Rated M. 656k, WIP. Female Friendship. Protective Severus Snape.

AU. When Lily died, Snape removed his heart and replaced it with a steel trap. But rescuing her daughter from the Dursleys in the summer of ’92 is the first step on a long road to discovering this is less true than he’d thought. A girl!Harry story, starting in Chamber of Secrets and continuing through Goblet of Fire. Future Snape/Harriet. (OotP - DH will continue in a separate story.)

Why I rec it: An epic retelling of the series, starting at Year 2. My favorite thing in this fic are the description of Snape's eyes. Intense and so poetic! The world-building is great, and the relationships between the characters are well-developed.

Wearing Only a Sneer

by pluperfectsunrise. Rated E. 100k, WIP. Slow Burn. First Time. Love Confessions.

With the war finally over, Harry Potter is dead set on losing her virginity. What will happen when she decides that the perfect candidate for a partner in this endeavor is Severus Snape?

Why I rec it: I love the way Harriet slowly convinces Snape to get in bed with her. The smut is so tender and also so hot! Also the only Snarriet fic to feature Harriet pegging Snape, to my knowledge.

Grey Hours

by @spicedlantern. Rated M. 101k, WIP. Time Travel. Angst.

She'll need to put them in various boxes in her head to cope - constant reminders of where they end up, no matter where and what they are in her present - no matter what her eyes see. Lily Evans - murdered. James Potter - murdered. Sirius Black - murdered. Albus Dumbledore - murdered. Remus Lupin - alive - alive with a son, and that, at least, she has to hold on to -

Severus Snape -

Traitor.

Or: In June 1999, a group of rogue Death Eaters led by Bellatrix Lestrange breaks into the Ministry. They steal six "true" time turners.

In August 1975, Auror Harriet Potter appears in the middle of Albus Dumbledore's office. He offers her a job.

Why I rec it: Another one of spicedlantern's excellent fics. An original plot, some truly great tension between Harriet and Snape, one adult Snape, one teenage Snape, and a Lily who gets to shine as a lot of chapters are from her POV. The author weaves a plotty tale with deliciously smutty moments once the Snarriet happens.

#snarriet #fic recs #fics over 100k

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thedrarrylibrarian · 10 months ago

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Have you ever had a day that just went completely to shit? That was the entire month of November for me. I had planned to have this Happy Hour ready then, but between work and home life and hosting for the holiday and everything else...a ball had to drop. I was so disappointed, because I love doing Happy Hour and I love speaking with the creators who help with the guest fic recs.

@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm could not have been more gracious and understanding about postponing his rec. I always thought his artworkand fics were lovely, but being on the receiving end of the his kindness makes the works even lovelier to me. I love that even in moments of violence, he portrays characters as vulnerable and soft, the gentleness of moments of solitude, and the joyfulness of the mundane. If you haven't checked out Joy's art before, I cannot recommend it enough.

So after waiting for several months, I am finally so excited to share his incredible fic rec. Our first Happy Hour guest rec of the year is by the lovely and gracious @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm.

Outside of things that become fanon, we all travel the worlds of transformative works building up our own personal sense of canon. A lot of that process is wish fulfillment and self indulgence on little pleasures and minor vanities, which is what carves out this perfectly molded comfort that we all shelter ourselves in, what comes together to broadcast our unique wavelengths of bliss. But there is also another part of the process, one that I find myself unconsciously engaging in at times, which is an attempt to rewrite, rewire, recolor the places in which the source material has dulled, or to find cracks and fissures for interpretations that will allow me to engage with the source more meaningfully in the long run while honoring the directions in which I’ve grown and changed. There’s been a lot of work in the Harry Potter fandom that took on the form of a kind of hermeneutics, or that used the setting and characters as a kind of convenient vehicle to make a point about The Real World, in a way that sometimes makes it feel like we, the naive and spirited readers of the source material are somehow distant from the world and must be gently pulled back into it in the language of our distraction. Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey was the first AU retelling of a larger segment of the HP canon where I felt like I was encountering something completely new, something that had the distant shape of these previous approaches at first glance but that, right from the first page, has that almost physical pull of the complete and precious new.

Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey by @sobsicles (456,640 words, rated E)

When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn't as black and white as it seems.

Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options.

Harry's life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment.

Or, the one where Harry's life gets split in half, and he has to figure out how to bring it back together.

The summary is immediately gripping, and I’ll leave the reader to discover the shapes of the AU on their own, but the basic premise of the story is that Harry, at the end of 5th year, does something he would never do in the book, and that as a consequence of (?), or despite (?) or alongside (?) this, him and Voldemort begin to, on a relational and intellectual level, engage in a way that would otherwise be impossible. This story works on so many levels, all of them incredibly crafted and so masterfully sustained over the behemoth length of the first installment. The Harry in this story is funny and young and troubled in the most delicious ways all the while wading in and out of the crushing solitude of predetermination (and also maybe just humanity). I generally read exclusively fics in which they’re adults, or at least on the brink of adulthood in 8th year, but the author has crafted such incredibly convincing teenage characters in both Harry and Draco here that by the end not only do they both end up under your skin but they also become these people that sit alongside you, whose adolescence you’ve literally gone through as both a sympathetic spectator and as a mirror of them, drawn into the irresistible sweet delights of their love, the painful bonding of people captive in their lives, the hope of the future born out of surviving something together.

There is also a tendency in fics to paint the adults of the HP world as traitors, because that’s what the majority of them are, and this is something I also usually engage with. In this fic, while we maintain that the state of the world and the fates that befell all our favourite characters are largely the result of a kind of treason of goodness and responsibility, we also get to have these incredible deep insights into why each adult character is the way they are, through relations made possible only by this unlikely scenario that the author proposes. We also get to have the warm joy of seeing a child empathize with (and pity, and comfort, and teach) people who they owe nothing to, and this is an absolute treasure that shines brighter as we move through the story.

Finally, as this is Happy Hour, apart from all the things I’ve briefly mentioned up there that make this fic a delightful and comforting experience that I constantly go back to, I wanted to talk about a strange way that made this story become my source of comfort. This story made me like Voldemort. Not the terrifying and irredeemable one from the books or the movies. There’s this feeling that I have about fics and fandom, and I think it’s shared by a lot of people who’ve been around for a while, and it’s that these characters and settings and storylines are almost… nebulous things that always existed in us and around us and that we had maybe some slight hope for, but that were first snatched out of non-being and formed by the source material authors. This is also just how art and creativity is, in general - an antenna that beams signals and sometimes someone gets the whole message first. And you grow up and sometimes things are shaped by the source material to make you think oh I’ll feel this way forever and then of course you change your mind, but this was more like an intense, emotional journey in which I realized there was all this personal negativity that I’d always shove into this concept and this being - and that when I encountered the newly formed shape that this author’s Voldemort takes on, my resentments and my fixed darknesses, once unmovable and heavy at the bottom of this big thing in my life, were suddenly things I could walk up to. That the previously unapproachable veil of evil - which is simple, and undebatable - had lifted, and suddenly I could decide to do something else with them, to pick them up and carry them or throw them away, or live alongside them as awkward housemates until suddenly the shame and fear they represented wasn’t something I had to run from. So for happy hour, I picked a story that made me, and continues to make me, engage with not only happiness but a kind of lasting adult joy that comes from letting something come in and help you redraw the city lines of your own story. It’s very precious to me. I read the entirety of this fic in two days next to the crisp Adriatic sea, but I’ve reread it in many settings since then, and it’s always made me both hungry and full in the way that good home cooking does. I hope it does the same for you too.

#ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm #friends of the library #Happy hour #the drarry library happy hour #Friday Happy hour #Harry x draco #Harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #the drarry librarian #thedrarrylibrarian

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roslynwrites · 6 months ago

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Hello! I hope you're doing well. I rejoined the zutara fandom a few weeks ago and let me tell you i am OBSESSED with your fics. I know the atla fandom keeps whining about it but I actually really enjoy the darker aspects of zk & incendiary is simply a masterpiece. So i was wondering do you have any zk fic recs that are darker in nature?

Oh, welcome back! Thank you very much!!

The idea that Zutara is dark has always been blatantly hilarious to me. It's sooo vanilla. It's baby's first ETL. It's quite possibly the purest ETL out there. And yet. Lmao. I'll be real with you anon, if you're wanting fic recs that are darker in nature, I'm not sure if the Zutara fandom is the best place to look. I have found it be an incredibly vanilla fandom, from my perspective anyway, and there seems to be a greater resistance to darkfic or darker fic around here that I haven't noticed in other ships I've poked around in. You look in Reylo or Dramione, for example, and I think there's a clear difference there. To some extent it's also a character thing I think, I believe characters like Draco or Kylo Ren to be more convincingly morally grey or dark than Zuko. Zuko is just such a sweetie, at least to me, so if he behaves too dark it doesn't ring quite true (again, for me) unless it's wildly AU.

(On a side tangent, I've always been a believer that of the two, Katara would be the one to go dark first and Zuko would be the one to follow her, with a lovestruck devotion, into that abyss, and that's what would pull him over...but that might just be me, I love that whole 'love that corrupts' sometimes, it's so delicious) 😄 Anyway. For Zutara I can currently only give meager offerings of fics I have not yet read: there's Salt and Scale, which seems to be well liked and appears to be darker, based on the tags. I'm looking forward to reading that one! I also saw a recent one a while ago that was based on Senlinyu's Manacled, which is quite dark. I thought it was called 'Unbalanced' but I am having trouble finding it; either I'm remembering wrong or it's down? But good luck finding more!! Maybe others have more too.

(I'd be happy for some more suggestions myself).

#answers #fic: incendiary

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horsetailcurlers2 · 7 months ago

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addison montgomery fanfiction recs by pairing

(although i am *relatively* new to the greys fandom, once i finished season three i immediately obsessively scoured the internet for any addison montgomery centric fanfiction i could get my hands on. here are just a few of my favorite ones for each of my addison ships (of which there are many). this is by no means an exhaustive list. my qualifications for this are that i’m cool and have good taste and spend way too much time thinking about fictional people)

ADDEK:

-“The Climbing Way” by winter machine (this is actually probably one of my favorite fanfictions of all time, period. this author is just absolutely brilliant at capturing their dynamic and all of its complexities. the entire thing is actually from derek’s POV which i was surprised how much i enjoyed considering i can sometimes be a derek hater lol but it provides some really good insight into his character without being as forgiving as canon or as bash-y as some fics (if that makes any sort of sense?). it also combines two of my favorite addek tropes: “sad baby backstory” and “traumatic event forces them to actually confront their issues”. it is also a very captivating portrait of derek and mark’s realtionship and has lots and lots of flashbacks. big angst warning especially for the early chapters.)

-“Some Bright Morning” by winter machine (i just can’t get enough of this author. i love any addek fic that heavily features savvy and weiss bc i think they should have made more appearances in canon. or savvy should’ve at least lmao. weiss was kind of a dick. but i like him in this fic! this is a very very interesting AU because it takes place largely outiside of canon settings and features a lot of OCs. it also takes place around early season one so the mark wound is still very fresh. its set entirely on a small island in georgia during savvy’s mother’s funeral so there’s plenty of forced proximity and bed sharing. the original setting and cast of characters are really fleshed out and completely captivating. like, i would read a whole separate story just about this island and its inhabitants. also features lots of background on savvy and addison’s friendship. and plenty of angst of course. you may be sending a pattern with these recommendations)

-“do you think i have forgotten (about you)” by crime_wives (this one legitimately made me sob. like, my body produced actual tears. angsty one shot. not happy-addek. a perfect snapshot of their tragic ending)

- “Unhinged (AddisonandDerekandMark)” by RulerOfAllThatIsEvilChiFlowers (very dark. very twisty. somewhat non linear.)

- “This Hurt Can Teach Us Both” by darlingwrecks (oh my lord this one is so so addek- bittersweet, sexy, nostalgic, painful and delightful all at once. my favorite thing about this writer is the way they write backstory, especially for the Med School Trio. this is also kind of fun because we never got to see how these two dealt with their post divorce logistics. derek was just kind of like “take all the property and fuck off” which is not at all how these things work lol)

MEDDISON:

- “lately she’s undressing for revenge” by emilyprentits (only read this if you want to be driven to tear your own hair out by the emotions this will make you feel. this is one of the fics that fully convinced me to ship meddison. so so so good and it’s like it was written from inside of meredith’s actual brain)

-“i’ll show you every version of yourself tonight” by withpeopleinperson (two words: stripper addison. read it. be forewarned it’s only one chapter and has not been updated in a few years but it’s a GREAT chapter regardless)

-“the seven stages of intoxication” by theprincessdiarist (meredith grey doling out meredith grey levels of emotional dysfunction. featuring loads and loads of delightfully frustrating mutual pining)

-“Sex and Caring in Seattle” by Bluefall (meredith once again having totally normal and regular feeling about her ex boyfriend’s wife. i love this one because they are both just kind of bisexual disasters and derek is just Also There. i love the way this author perfectly captures meredith’s perpetual inability to navigate her own emotions)

*EDIT: i also realized i forgot to add that these last two were recommended to me by @crime-wives !!!

-“open the floodgates up” by SugarsweetRomantic (this has EVERYTHING you could want in a meddison fic: mutual hurt/comfort, bed sharing, friends to lovers, these two being absolute dumbasses about each other. had me crying and also kicking my feet. genuinely)

MADDISON:

-“Make This Go On Forever” by darlingwrecks (i am so in love with this universe. i usually don’t gravitate toward kid/family centric fics but this one is so so much more than that. it’s maddison, if those two had made a real go of things, stayed in new york, and kept the pregnancy. there’s even some background merder eventually (which is not usually my jam but i like in this context). very very fluffy at times, a bit angsty at others, super in character but iirc i think this was written pretty early on in the show so addison and mark’s backgrounds may be a smidge different than in canon. this is the link to the rewritten version (i think?) on ao3. the author had the original up on live journal back in the day and i could have SWORN i read a sequel that i found a link to in the depths of their LJ but i cannot find it anywhere rn)

-“When I Grow Up” by winter machine (another maddison-if-they’d-stayed-in-new-york-and-addison-kept-the-pregnancy, but with a twist that brings them to seattle to see derek, who they haven’t spoken to in seven years. a fantastic plot but also sort of just a brilliant exploration of how mark and addison would be as parents given their own childhoods and how they have pretty much been cut off from the one healthy(ish) family dynamic that either of them have experienced. there’s also background merder in this one and it actually kind of made me like merder which is a major feat)

-“Celery” by winter machine (a fun little one shot featuring Derek Being An Idiot, Drunk Addison, and Mark Crossing Boundaries. a little bit sad and a little bit funny. again, everything by this author is just great)

JADDISON:

- “A Certain Slant of Light” by darlingwrecks (this is for those of us that were weirded out by addison’s convo with amelia in season 18. a more fleshed out exploration of addison’s mental health during the pandemic. it’s a very raw and honest portrayal of depression and anxiety and how someone like addison would navigate it while being a doctor in a global pandemic and raising an 8 year old. it’s not nearly as bleak as it sounds though. lots of fluff, a little smut. also touches on how addison might’ve grieved mark and derek. and archer makes some appearances which i loved (i know he’s an asshole but i really like addison’s brother lol))

-“Diamonds in the Sky” by Ziaaaaa_sdc (there’s so few jaddison fics out there, probably because of how compressed their relationship timeline was as they tried to wrap up the show, but this writer has several and they’re all so good. there definitely aren’t enough fun AUs for them so i was really excited when i first found this. its Ballet School Jaddison and there’s actually only three chapters atm. no idea if it will be updated ever again but it’s still more than worth a read. a smidge angsty so far. also seems to be setting up a little enemies to lovers arc)

CADDISON:

-“Help Me (With The Butterflies)” by BlackRoseMatron (a very sweet one shot. this author is single-handedly keeping the caddison shippers fed and i love it. they also have some really great meddison stuff)

#read these at your own risk lol i tend to gravitate toward angst #most of these are rated T and above #the word counts vary wildly #greys anatomy #private practice #addison montgomery #addison montgomery fanfiction #addek #meddison #merdison #caddison #mark x addison #fanfiction #fanfic rec

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