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umbra-borealis · 5 months ago

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Dimitri Lousteau is the most 'human' villain in Sly Cooper

Hello and welcome to my TEDtalk, I've been meaning to type out my yapping for a long time but always talked myself out of it because I mean, this is coming from a guy with Dimitri for a pfp and I figured people would just take it as a guy on tumblr simping for a weird lizard but no. The reasons I care for Dimitri the way I do goes pretty deep and I could sit here and talk about it point by point but to save us both some time (and because I am DEAD tired) I made a graph!

I used Luciano, my little sona, to personify myself in this.

I focused mainly on formative things and similarities in personality without inserting headcanons, even if based on traits or even symptoms I recognize. Most of these are rather straight forward but some run a little deeper. The funny pattern here (maybe aside from the drug thing lol) is that there's a high likelihood that you reading this right now can at least relate to just one or two things on those list and while you could argue that you could do the same with other characters, I picked these traits because in my opinion they ride that thin line between just relatable enough to apply to a lot of people, but not too superficial to be on the same an interest or hobby. Anyone can get upset when angry, it's HOW you express that anger that says something about you as a person for instance.

I also want to quickly mention that yes, a LOT of characters in Sly Cooper are very human, but I said 'villain' for a reason. After all I don't think your average college kid can relate to Contessa, Rajan or Panda King because mass brainwashing, destroying villages and being a literal drug lord are bordering on supervillain and that's not what Dimitri is. A supervillain can be relatable to a degree as well, but it makes sense that the Panda King had to have a whole Moment TM (several really) to come to terms with the kind of person he allowed himself to become. When we see Dimitri in Sly 3, he seems to have already done this perhaps because his sins aren't nearly as great. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'll insert a read-more here but I'd like to ask you to keep reading anyway if you can because my biggest pet peeve is that Dimitri is seen as a dumb, sleazy (and old??? which is dumb and I got math to back up that he's not in fact in his 40s during Sly 2 lmao) lizard who's only good as a level 1 boss for beginners to learn the game and all he's remembered for, though fair, is his manner of speech and not what he's REALLY saying. None of you ever picked up on what he was throwing down so I'm going to spell it out for you.

(PS I have ADHD and it's 3 AM so go easy on me this is coming from the HEART baby)

To make it easier on myself and you, I'm going to start sectioning the word soup in my head into four categories based on Dimitri's enterprises and roles and just kinda... waffle on about my thoughts regarding them. I'll start superficial and work my way down to the Deep Shit. Feel free to skip around to whatever interests you since I include some lore too, though changes are you're already aware of said lore.

Lets start with:

Dimiti, the club manager.

Nightclubs, and the people that run them tend to have a bit of a sleazy stereotype attached to them, which I suppose is fair. Though a large chunk is attributed to movies and other media, there were in fact some really large and important movements surrounding nightlife and club culture. Just look up the Club Kids if you want to go down a rabbit hole, in short they were a fairly large group of partiers from the 90s who contributed a LOT to fashion and art movements as well as being generally very fluid when it came to gender. Unfortunately that too would eventually be plagued by drugs and members getting addicted to drugs. Again, I digress.

Dimitri is seen partying in the intro of his chapter in Sly 2,

which is a nice touch because not only is it in-character, it's something that would actually happen. Owners of a popular joints would be popular or just enigmatic figures that would regularly get subjected to patrons schmoozing up to them. Some weren't a fan but there were many that soaked up the attention, bought rounds on the house when business was good, maybe get a little TOO cocky with confidence. It's a bit too simple to look at Dimitri in relation to all this info and say 'no doi he was in it for the money it checks out.' because if you spend enough time in his club or just, in the safe house after placing the bug there's signs of more going on.

We KNOW Dimitri is a criminal and he did his whole art forgery business on the side, or maybe it's the other way round? Either way he seemed fairly confident in his skills with this. His biggest risk being that time he tried to marry someone over a STATUE. (Really dude?) So then why was he so damn paranoid? While you could argue that he was sippin' his own supply I don't think that's what it was. He was so paranoid he played his music super loud in almost all areas of the club JUST to keep his security detail awake through-out night and day, whenever his club wasn't open to the public. To compensate he would promise them they could all 'retire early'. with that fake confidence chuckle that masks a sense of 'haha please don't abandon me'

So, ever heard of Imposter Syndrome? Because his behavior as a club owner SCREAMS it. He wasn't JUST cocky and sleazy, he was simply fitting in with the culture of the time because *everyone* was overly confident, over confidence was something to be admired, something to look at and go 'yeah that guy has it figured out' while in reality most struggled with something, anything. So what is Imposter Syndrome? To keep it short and blunt, the overwhelming feeling that you're not worthy of your accomplishments. We know that Dimitri is a 'failed' artist who turned to forging art to make money, it could just be a sense of guilt telling him something he's not ready to hear so he starts overcompensating and this insecurity bleeds into Sly 3 after Sly puts him in his place. His success with this insanely toxic coping mechanism lands him a new enterprise.

Dimitri, the Spice distributor.

Rather than going chronological, I'm going through the 'layers' that is this lizard. So if his career as a club owner is the tip of the ice berg with some neat little facts and info about the stereotype he conveys, this subject is a tier deeper. Dimitri the Spice distributor is Dimitri the next level criminal, or so he thinks. When you think about it, it's pretty strange that they gave Dimitri some Clockwerk parts at all. He was never mentioned by the other Klaww Gang members and thus seemingly not missed either when he was the first to get busted. In fact, nobody was upset that their DISTRIBTOR was arrested, putting a hold on their primary income... or so we thought until the Contessa was revealed to have a rather large and lucrative side hussle Dimitri probably could never compete with. Dimitri was expendable, sure he had a role and he played it well but he was also a loss they could cope with without much harm done to their wallets or their pride.

I think about it often, Dimitri in his jail cell, maybe hearing from another criminal or even his lawyer after the whole Clock-La thing about the full scope of the plan. He might've gotten a reduced sentence for ratting the other members out because if you think back to his legendary conversation with Sly he really doesn't seem to know what he's talking about. ("What is it with clocks bro!?") All of Dimitri's other crimes aside, he was young and naive, Sly 3 reveals he came from some form of poverty as well so it makes sense that he'd chase easy money. That's all it was though, he wanted the money and the fame, he didn't want to brainwash an entire city, he didn't know about the giant robot owl. He's once again left feeling like a failure, this time one that was easy to fool and all the confidence he had as a criminal would've seeped out of him, starting this weird cycle of him trying something only to be caught breaking the law and ending up where he began.

Like I said all of this would bleed into Sly 3 and it's pretty damn neat that for how little lines he had and how little he was on screen, they managed to convey this well in my opinion. By the time we reach Sly 3, most of us don't remember him as a Spice distribtor at all. Which leads me to...

Dimitri the Artist.

Being an artist is a pretty broad term and while we know Dimitri as a painter, I think he applies his artist mindset in way, way more. He's genuinely creative an smart, he thinks out of the box to protect his secrets and to cover his tracks. His identity as an artist is also his most vulnerable and 'real' self. Folks will say art is about self expression and usually mean conveying complex topics with pretty pictures or thought provoking stories, however it can be apparent in smaller ways too and the most obvious thing for Dimitri is his business in forging art. Think about it this way:

Picture you don't speak a LICK of english, you're from a lower in-come family or even straight up poverty but you grew up on tall tales of your grandpa being a total badass who lived freely and seizes every opportunity he could to make money... or take it rather but you get the idea. Your grandpa used his talents as a diver and deep down, you know what your talent is. It's art. So you somehow manage to move across the world to Paris, go to an art school work your ass off to develop your own style, your own identity and when it came to making a name for yourself you were rejected super hard. You're now probably in debt, in a foreign country and all you're known for is being the art community's clown.

One thing that gets overlooked is that Dimitri's paintings aren't actually that bad.

He very clearly knows the basics quite well, he's using color theory to shade and add depth but as he goes from student to independant artist, he breaks away from the basics and develops a style. His color use becomes brighter, he adds little stars just because why not? He likes em! This style is PERFECT for the nightlife club scene he ends up in down the line of course, but in the world of pretentious parisian artist hipsters? Absolutely not. So while he's just being himself, he's shown that that isn't allowed, that wont get him success. It reminds me of artists who say shit like 'I'll just learn to draw furry porn I guess!' thinking it's a guaranteed money printer (heh) and whether they enjoy making that kind of content is irrelevant, which leads to burn out or in case they DO find success, imposter syndrome. The dread that you do not deserve this recognition because it's not something you're actually that passionate about, not something you want to be known for. Say what you will about Dimitri but he never compromised. And while the cutscene shows shoddy painted depictions of classical paintings, I think this was more to illustrate him forging paintings to a younger audience than imply he was a bad painter as just before those crappy version, we see what's probably the REAL version he would've painted and sold.

This is conjecture on my part but I have to believe it because well, art forgery is HARD. You'd have to actually be a freaking genius to do it and sell it for so high, you can just afford what is basically a freaking opera house in PARIS and turn it into a nightclub. Also did I mention Dimitri just, HAS a ~mansion~ in Monaco? Because he does.

I've also always liked that scene for the expression on his face. It's smug, it's so full of petty, passve aggressive anger, a stubborness to admit defeat and instead to just 'prove a point' even if that point is lost to the means being SUPER illegal. That being sad, I don't think any of us feel bad over this man stealing a couple thousand from billionaire pockets. Billionaires that probably have their own little illicit ways to get that cash. Funny... It seems Sly isn't the only one who steals from other criminals.

And you might've stuck around this long and gone 'Umbra, get to the fucking POINT already." to which I have good news.

Dimitri, the Marine Iguana.

My favorite part, feel free to skip ahead to this headline if you want.

So who is this guy anyway? Well, from Sly 3 we see that he has a mother, a sister and his grandparents and that's about it as far as we can tell.

Just look at that smile! He looks like your average, awkward teenager. No struggling on the streets from what we can tell, no bullying by bigger kids, no weird sociopathic tendencies, no childhood trauma or grudges. The events that changed him seem to all have happened after he left for Paris. Sure it aint much to go off of but even if his life was hard, it seemed he was close with his grandfather and got to know him for a decent couple of years. Marine Iguanas are, like the name implies, an aquatic species of reptile. They're well adapted to land but due to low food availability in-land, they migrated to the beaches and started living off of sea algae, learning how to dive in the process. Even in Sly 2 the devs included plenty of references to Dimitri's affinity for water. The windows in the dancefloor area of his club are partially submerged, there are two massive aquariums in his office, he lives on a boat (or hides there anyway) and has several water features but inside and outside his club.

When you take a step back and look at all that, Dimitri is... just a guy who left his home country, his family, to follow a dream only to have that dream shatter and he's left to pick up the pieces all alone, making poor choices in the process. Choices based on anger and a broken heart. And the truth of the matter is that ALL of this, could happen to anyone. Granted in varying different ways as not everyone's life is the same and not everyone will make the same choices but I think many of us had a dream career as a kid only to become a jaded adult who thinks it's unrealistic or only does that thing as a hobby, I think there's many of us that remember the moment our hearts were broken and we realized the cold, unforgiving nature of real, adult life.

We see the effect of ALL of this come to a head in Sly 3, when at first he's not sure if he should still be mad at Sly for putting him in jail while he's currently the only guy he knows that COULD break him back out of jail as well. He still overcompensates, he's still overly confident and he put himself in that cell but still, he honors his word and helps Sly and Bentley find their friend. Then in Holland we see him behind a bar, seemingly as if he's actually got a job as a bartender there. Heck, he DOES have a job! He's the announcer! He may not super like it but he's being humbled by it all the same and when Sly comes for help a second time, the bravado is gone for a moment. He expresses genuine fear, not necessarily for his own safety but for losing a job, for *failing*. Of course the right answer in this scenario is to hype up his confidence again. And because Sly has proven himself to be trustworthy in the past he figures he can trust him with a favor of personal, sentimental value. If anyone would understand how it feels to have your family name dishonored and an heirloom stolen, it's Sly and Dimitri knows that damn well.

I think this is about as real as Dimitri can get, aside from the whole scuba gear thing. I know the gang is disguised but I don't think Dimitri is at all. I think that's just... what he likes to wear, further making me think he's just a regular guy with so much heart ache he lashe out in some pretty vile ways. Tortured artists are known to do some crazy shit after all. And while he continues to be his funny eccentric self we know him to be, he starts to have his first real moments of genuine care and loyalty while a part of the Cooper Gang. He tells Bentley he 'has his own flavor' which is his way of telling him that he's unique an valid the way he is. He dives after Sly's cane in VERY dangerous waters, risking injury or even his life, no questions asked. He sends Bentley postcards and letters to let his friend know he's safe and doing well. But perhaps something that hits me harder than any of that, is how angry and shocked Dimitri looks upon Sly's 'retirement announcement'.

Here he was thinking he made a friend out of Sly, and just like that he was gone. It makes me wonder if he held onto that grudge or not but a part of me likes to imagine that he didn't. I think his time with that gang made him realize that although he might not understand and he might be upset, it's not all about him. If anything he silently continued the rivalry by seeing how many girls he could cram into one post card with him to one up Sly's act of running off with a girl himself or perhaps he took it as a sign to make a career switch as well. Either way, Dimitri ended up changing for the better, he became himself in the end. A sweet, goofball iguana who loves the ocean and loves to paint. Making money became a nice bonus rather than his main focus.

Coming from a similar, rough background, having gone to therapy and trying to find my place in the world, this gives me hope. Hope that if I look hard enough, I can find my niche too and that being myself is the best I can be. If you read all this, thank you. I fgured it was best to just get it ALL out at once. I hope it was a fun read or made you look at Dimitri a little differently.

#Sly Cooper #sly 2 band of thieves #sly 3: honor among thieves #Dimitri Lousteau #If there's typos suck it up #It's now 4 AM

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eddsboxofdisectiontools · 2 months ago

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On topic with my post about Edd mischaracterization, I'm taking a wack at Ed mischaracterization. I won't do Eddy... Only because BPS was the thing that explained it all. Everyone in the fandom already knows Eddy is just a victim of abuse and gaslighting.

I think the most common consensus is that Ed is stupid. That's pretty much what they imply in the show, via other character's comments. Except for Edd... Who wouldn't say that lol.

I don't think he's stupid. Not inherently... I'm not saying he has lots of book smarts, because he doesn't. We all know he doesn't. But I don't think he's genuinely stupid. I think that his mother prevents teachers from showing concern about his inability to learn, because if they found out how to teach him properly, he'd become more aware of her actions and may rebel. Obviously, any oppressive force who is taking control of another person doesn't want them to gain consciousness about what's happening to them. Especially not someone like Ed, who could OBLITERATE her.

I think he could be just as capable as Dee if they found what helps him learn. He is canonly ND (ADHD) but given the high comorbidity rates, he's probably autistic too. Come on, he's pretty fixated on monster media. This probably makes it impossible for him to learn in the ways that the students around him learn. Not only does he lose focus, but if he *can* focus, he tends to lose interest and space out anyways.

Notice how he can easily quote and memorize scenes from his monster comics and movies? That shows he IS capable of holding mass amounts of information. This is what Edd does all the time, except the information he typically holds is related to things like biology and psychology. When we measure IQ, we're measuring the POTENTIAL of a person's intelligence, not the current knowledge. As humans, we're programmed to be in a state of nonstop learning. There really is no such thing as knowing more in the sense we try to use, because intelligence can be more accurately measured by the ability to understand, retain, and utilize the information given, and how much information can be stored and utilized. People who could be comparable to Einstein if given the chance may end up never proving this to people due to growing up in an environment that shames education. The person is capable of learning complex topics, but the way they've been silenced causes it to become a hidden skill. Does that make sense? I hope it does.

I think this is what we see with Ed. He is very intelligent in the fields that he enjoys, such as animal care and monster media. I'm sure he'd know more than Edd does about animal care, and may teach a thing or two to him occasionally through his rambles. Ed lacks any effort towards his care and learning, so the topics he's willing to ingest are super limited. I believe that he can learn lots, and be considered intelligent. Maybe he'll forever remain aversive to topics like math and history... Is it really a bad thing? Yes, they are good things to know... But I think he could excel in his topics of preference in a way that would label him as a master of his field.

Knowing Edd, he's probably helping Ed with his learning issues. Edd shows an interest in psychology, which means he most likely understands the differences in people and how they can take in information. I'm sure he'd use this to see what gets him focused, what makes him learn. He'd possibly ingest stacks and stacks of information if he found what made him tick. It's hard to know exactly HOW he's intelligent, but I do believe he is. His non stop fourth wall breaks seem funny (and they are) but a part of that also implies that Ed has EXCEPTIONAL attention to detail. People who are considered intelligent have this. Perhaps his tendency to get distracted makes this harder to notice since he doesn't pick up what he can't focus on, but trust that he's about as aware of what's going on as Edd is implied to be. The difference between Ed and Edd is that Ed had been sheltered and shunned from learning like normal, and Edd had pretty much been FORCED into learning constantly by his parents, which led to the natural fixation on topics relating to education, as it was what was in his environment. I think Ed could go places if they found what helped him learn.

#ed edd n eddy #eene #ed-fo dump

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horizon-verizon · 8 months ago

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It’s hilarious to me that Aemond kicked Alicent out of the council and literally told her to go back to the kitchen right after that tiktok went viral that called Aemond of all people a feminist.

Compare with Jace saying in the same episode, “my ruler is my mother, and I do not wish it otherwise”.

Jace is EVERYTHING Alicent wished Aegon and Aemond was. A better son, a better politician, would’ve been a better husband to Helaena, a young man who has no problem leading the war council with his wife-to-be and defending her against Ser Alfred. I love that HOTD is completely destroying the whole “momma’s boy/mommy’s favorite war criminal” delusion that Aemond’s stans created.

“Aemond’s the most interesting one on this show” and he’s just every reactionary mass shooter using “bullying” in high school as an excuse for their atrocities (when, in reality, they were just nihilistic psychopaths). Nothing about Aemond is unique or disruptive. Misogyny is painfully boring actually, it’s been around for centuries. People just can’t accept interesting morally sound characters when they see one.

I wonder how that person who made that Jace would not be a feminist (as if any of the green boys in the show would?!) is feeling right about now? They'd probably say that Aemond kicking Alicent out is not sexist but he was just mad at her. Sure Fabian 2.0 🙄.

Now, Aemond does provide some funny moments here and there since "he undermined" Aegon with high Valyrian, but for me the stand out is more Aegon on the green side. I did like Aemond asserting against Jason Lannister's demands, that is very book!Aemond. It's like these two green boys are taking turns being their book selves, which is ironic bc people will claim that they are more interesting that their bk counterparts...baby, that's bc they are finally realized as what their bk counterparts would do!

Also, the greens have such stark and seemingly unique characters because the writes simply didn't develop the blacks very well for balance. They are all more or less pretty static, their motivations regressed or having stayed the same since S1.

So we perhaps need to separate "interesting"/"unique" and "solid characterization" from "morally bankrupt". Both tb and tg. TG tends to either explain how the greens are actually morally neutral or good or justified in some actions AND tries to make as if being "good" automatically boring, but TB seems to sometimes forget that we don't need characters to be morally neutral/ambiguous or good for them to be "interesting"--ironic bc Daemon is morally ambiguous leaning bad but is very interesting to many in TB and to locals...pre-Harrenhal arc. People can say Aemond & Aegon are interesting in the show, bc they do present more to think over...while Rhaenyra's writing is repetitive and verging on pathetic and nonsensical, esp when she slaps the Celtigar instead of Alfred Broome and keeps talking about how helpless she feels even after that. Jace, despite his deeds at the Frey's and the Wall, was also stripped of his Manderly and Jeyne Arryn stories. even with Cregan, they aren't friends and there is no Pact of Ice and Fire. We didn't even get Cregan's backstory in appropriate flashbacks that would have lended Rhaenyra/Jace's support base with a certain confidence in devotion and character! Baela somehow doesn't burn the greens she comes into close contact with...It's all just too underwhelming for the sake of "neutraility". And I don't have to say anything for Daemon, that I already talked about.

Example of "good & interesting": Dany is unequivocally a good person & a good ethical actor with good ethical motivations, but she's anything but boring.

@all-about-the-tea-parties brings up other nonvillains with nuanced and "fascinating" arcs down in the comments below!

#asoiaf asks to me #aemond targaryen #alicent hightower #hotd s2 epi6 #hotd fandom #fandom critical #fandom commentary #character comparison #book vs tv comparisons #hotd critical #hotd #asoiaf

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ashenberry · 6 months ago

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ashen. ashen i hope you know. i really want to know metal gear lore and the story please if youre ever bored and wanna talk about it talk at me about it !!!!!!!!!

HEHEHE >:3c i was gonna ask if u wanted like a specific game or in an specific order (game vs timeline) but i decided im just gonna talk at nasuem. for fun.

future ashen voice this ended up being long as shit. a read more. for ur sake

ANYWAYSSSS metal gear is about snake. which snake? fuck you that one but specifically these two

The metal gear games can basically bit split into the Solid Snake Games [MGS1/2/4] and the Big Boss (Naked Snake) Games [MGS3/PW/V]

The timeline for the games go

MGS3 -> ***MGS:Peacewalker -> MGSV* -> MG1/MG2SS** -> MGS1 -> MGS2 -> MGS4 -> MGRR

*(which is 2 games in 1 but not actually? konami wanted a game released in 2014 so they took one of the missions from V and called it ground zero. and then the rest is called the phantom pain. tpp. the peepee)

** these are msx2 games which was a home computer back in the 80s it was basically slightly more powerful then a NES. its very funny its such a. interesting part of the timeline and they never remade them so theyre just 35 year old games that are like the biggest twist is that big boss. is a bitch !

*** Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops is here but its not mainline saga. Metal Gear Rising Revengence is also not mainline saga but people have heard of it so it gets a mention. its the one with the brazillian guy sammy.

---

our timeline begins in the humble year 1964. the cold war is cold-ing and we meet our protagonist for the game john metal gear jumping out of a plane and into Russia to get some scientist past the iron curtain and into the states bc he decided he fucking hates developing nukes. Our cast for this game includes [Naked] Snake. The guy who will become, by the time of metal gear 2, the guy running the War Orphan Economy. they call him naked bc zero is mean and also bc they didnt give him shit in way of supplies

Zero. Also known as David Oh but who gives a shiiit. Hes your main point of contact for mission information he will tell you your current objective he'll tell you where to go what to do etc etc.

Para-Medic. She is here to tell you fun facts about the food you pick up, she is the one you call to save the game (in which she will then tell you about the movie ^-^) and she helps you when it comes to tending to wounds but i think that only comes up twice

The Boss. The most important character in the series given the impact she has on others, everyone whos met her talk about her in the highest regard and after this game Snake and Zero (and others) will tear the world apart for her.

Sigint. He's your main contact for weapons and equipment in this game. He and Para medic might end up being the character you talk the least to if you dont go out of your way to but honestly i really like their banter :]

EVA. Shes your intel on the inside for being the only other mother fucker on your side* thats actually here. in the russian jungle. Shes also propped as the love interest but snake and her at best have a one night stand and then. well you can argue they stayed friends. I do. i like that they dont get together it goes with the side thread that like. sometimes meaningful relationships cant be described as romantic or platonic WHATEVER!!!! next guy

Ocelot. fuck ass. bitch. he meows. he gets his ass kicked by snake and watches him hit his famous "i shit my pants" stance and then is just. [textually. stated in game] obsessed with him. for the next 50 years. and makes him everyone elses problem. my beloved mutuals could give u a more sincere read on ocelot i just. hes funny to me check this shit out

he does that for like 2 minutes. and for what. fuck him

Volgin. this guy is terrible he stinks which is great for a villian but hes fucking terrible. he also grabs snakes dick. he nuked a science facility hes trying to start mass produce the shagohod which is basically the precursor to metal gears. the metal gears are the nuke launching metal dinosaur

*theres some double tripple agent bullshit but. shes on your side like 90% theres like some side thing she crosses on you but snake i dont think gave a shit

---

SO SO SOSO SO. game starts out snake jumps out of plane into russia etc etc etc. This is called the Virtuous Mission. His Radio team consist of Zero, The Boss, and Para-medic. And this is the first time hes talked to the boss in like. 5 years? and she is like. the most important person to him shes like basically raised him since he was 15 he is often described as 'her most beloved disciple" anyways snakes like why did you leave >;| and the boss is like snake what is loyalty. who do you answer to? the goverment? the goverment changes who are you loyal to. for no reason. btw u dont need me anymore ive taught you everything now go forth and go save that russian scientist guy. so you go and pick up sokolov and then ocelot shows up and shoots the shit out of everyone and then snake shoots the shit outta ocelot and his boys but he doesnt kill ocelot becauses hes a fuck ass 20 something and snakes like ahh hes a fuck ass 20 something i cant kill him.

so he and the russian scientist walk towards the pickup point and the boss is like hi snake :> and snakes like shouldnt you be in a submarine ? and then the boss is like send the bees. Snake and Sokolov (Scientist guy) get swarmed with bees, sokolov gets yoinked by The Cobra Unit which is just. the boss squad for the game they have silly powers and theyre the boss's group from WW2 and the boss is like hey snake. im defecting to russia and volgins like hiiii we should kill the fuck outta this guy and snake hits his famous i shit my pants pose

and then the boss breaks his arm and throws him off the bridge* and then snake washes up on shore and calls in to zero and paramedic and is like hey chat. all my bones hurt so then the boss and volgin fly off in their helicopter and volgins like thank you The Boss for these davey crockets (which are nuclear warheads u can launch by hand) im gonna use them :> and ocelot (whos there) is like you cant just nuke the shit outta people????? and volgins like i can do whatever the fuck i want the blames gonna be put on the american who just defected and snakes like. hey zero i think something down the road got nuked to shit. the send snake a balloon and thats the end of the virtuous mission

*the boss has been wearing a bandana, and when snake gets thrown off he grabs at it and then from this point on untiiiilll. end of peacewalker he is seen wearing this bandana. idk if its the same one solid snake wears it might be im no bandana doctor

---

One week later, snakes in the hospital healing up from getting his bones broken and zero is like hey. theyre sending you back to russia. to kill the fuck outta the boss bc yknow that building that got nuked? well it was an american nuke on russian soil and if we cant prove that the boss was rouge this cold war is gonna go hot and theyre gonna kill the fuck out of us. So begins Operation Snake Eater, called that because the objective is to take out The Boss, Leader of the cobra unit (though the cobras will also die bc they are loyal to da boss L)

To begin snake has to meet up with his guy on the inside ADAM at the same shack sokolov was rescued from. On his way there he meets up with the boss on her horse and shes like snake. Go Home. horse stomps on his hand she breaks his gun. L. Snake heads to the shack. When snake arrives he is not greeted by ADAM however but by the motorcycle riding EVA who gets him supplies including a disguise for getting to the research facility sokolov is chilling at and a gun and shes like youuu should fucking sleep its like midnight and snakes like >:| fine. and he does. and when he wakes up in the morning theyre surrounded by the ocelot unit that snake has to take out and Ocelot, the main guy, has eva held at gunpoint and is like SNAKE. YOU. LOOK I GOT A REVOLVER LIKE YOU MENTIONED. YOURE GONNA HIT TTHE CLASSIC "i shit my pants pose" SO I CAN DEFEAT YOU FOR REAL and snakes like ok buddy & snake and eva 1-2 combo him, eva does a wheelie off his face, and they head towards the research sokolov is behind held at.

on the way there snake meets alligators and you can grab the alligator cap and some leeches and then you get to a ravine and oh fuck its ocelot again. that gif earlier? this is when he does it Snake and Ocelot have a good ol duel before they are RUDELY. interrupted by a shit ton of bees in which they are both. terrible at dealing with? snake tries to cut them with his knife and ocelot spins his guns at them and to avoid the bees snake jumps into the ravine at the end of which is our first cobra fight with

THE PAIN - each cobra brings an emotion into battle. The unit includes, The Pain, The Fear, The End, The Fury, The Joy, and The Sorrow. you fight each of them in this game. The way the Pain's fight works is that he has a shit ton of bees and you have the power of water. he uses his bees as a shield, fake clones, bullets and you can go. under water to not get stung. you defeat him he explodes yay

and off to the research facilityyyyyy. on the way you see The Boss and Volgin and Sokolov and Ocelot chit chatting and if u have a sniper rifle you can kill The End here but theyre just giving exposition about this girl tatyana and how sad it is that the pain died. off to the research facilittyyyyyyy

sokolov isnt there. some other guy is i think his name is granin? he has nice shoes and he was the guy who design shagohod and hes druunk and hes like shits fucked. heres a key card so u can go to grazny grod which is where theyre keeping sokolov and also shagohod and snakes like thanks. nice shoes. and heads out to encounter the secound cobra fight with...

THE FEAR - this guys a BITCH to do when youre doing a no kill run bc the way to take down foes non lethally is to take out their stamina and he will recharge back to full once hes hit half. his fight is him chilling. invisible in the trees until he gets hungry enough to come on the ground and start eating. i found when going non lethally just handing him a bunch of poison frogs works really well. you defeat him he explodes with a shit ton of arrows cause he used a crossbow and off you gooo.

Eva calls in and goes wdym he gave you that key card theres. mountain there. ill meet you there get you supplies. snake continues on towards their meeting location when he encounters....

THE END - honestly metal gear, aside from sniper wolf in mgs1, has reallly fun sniper fights in this youre basically hunting him down and augh its good. you can also put the game down for an irl 5 days and he will die of old age cause hes old as shit. he also has a parrot that u can eat after the fight but like. bro? dont? anyways you defeat him he explodes and then snake continues on in which he encounters. the ladder

youtube

ANYWAYS you make it past the ladder and my least favorite sneaking section of the game and then you meet up with eva and shes got you some food and a way into grozny grad BUT !! she also is trying too yknow. seduce snake shes very upfront about this tbh shes like most of my missions is to fall in love w/ who the mission says anyways snake got any deets about da boss while shes just wearing her underwear and snakes like :| yknow eva. im not feeling the whole vibe your bringing to the conversation but i will talk about the boss cause this whole things got me conflicted why would she do that to me :| and evas like oh were u lovers and snakes like some things cant be explained w/ the lovers friends dichotomy but she was like. stupidly important to me and evas like damn. i need to get going ocelots getitng suspicious of me and she heads back to gronzy grad on her motorcycle and doesnt bring us we need to go. a different way through the sewers where we have our next cobra fight with...

THE FURY - this guy is decked out like an astronaut with a flame thrower and my favorite vocal performance AND THE FIGHT IS ANNOYING AS HELL I DONT LIKE ITTT HES A BITCH whateverr u defeat him he explodes and youre in gronzy grad

Once in grazny grad snakes next objective is to get into the weapons lab. find raikovich and impersonate him and meet of with sokolov. Raikovish isss. raiden mgs2 hes very clearly made to look like him raikovich vaugely sounds like if you took raiden and tried to make it sound more russian, they made him a little bitch to reflect the fact that gamers of 2002 did nootttt like raiden bc he was a little bitch with hips you could make out as oppose to solid square. I like raiden. anyways. you locate raikovich, knock him out drag him to a locker room and steal his close and now youre raikovich so now you can just walk around without anyone instantly smiting you.

you walk into the room where sokolov is being held and there you find him getting interrogated by tatyana (who is EVA. btw. idk how much of a twist this was suppose to be bc on one hand of course but on the other aaaa it was a ps2 game i just went like waow. the third blond blue eyed women in this game bc thats just what metal gear does theres a lot of blond bitches ANYWAYS) tatyana leaves you talk to sokolov hes like we gotta blow of shagohod and snakes like im getting you outta here. this time. for sure. surely nothing bad will happen and volgin walks in and was like raikovich. i was waiting for u in my room what the hell man and snake. cant say anything he doesnt sound raikovich at all so he just stands at attention and then volgin grabs his dick. Volgin's then like hah. an imposter. and then is about to beat the shit outta him and then the boss walks in and beats the shit outta snake and then volgin beats the shit outta him to unconsciousness.

snake wakes up with a bag over his head and his arms tied up above his head for beat-the-shit-outta-him 2: electric boogaloo. Ocelot, The Boss, and tatyana eventually are watching. its an interrogation scene theyre "trying" to get information out of him but we're shown earlier that volgin is very good at the beating the shit outta someone part and very bad at the getting information part. Granin (nice shoes) guy died. very sad. ANYWAYS. volgins like i hate this cia dog dipshit are you here for the philosophers legacy and snakes like ? cause he doesnt know shit about that and volgins like the philosophers legacy. yknow. the big pile of money that The Philosophers, a group that worked behind the scenes to pull the strings on events around the world that eventually broke into the US, Russian, and China branch after the cold war started? and snake looks at him like he just got the shit beat outta him.

Tatyana is like this is fucked up and The Boss is like your ass at this and Ocelot is like tatyana can u stop wearing that perfume (this haas been mentioned everytime their on screen together I just Forgot to mention it) and volgins like ok ignoring tatyana and ocelot. Da Boss. why dont youuuuu prove your loyalty and stab both of this dipshits eyes out and the boss is like 🧍‍♂️ yeah ok hand me that knife and then we get a scene of snake looking at the boss sad puppy style while theres a blade inches from his eyes and tatyana is like this is FUUCKKED and grabs attt. volgin or the boss i forget its been a hot minute. it goes to chaos a little bit but the scene ends with Ocelot shooting out Snakes (his right, looking at him the one on the left) eye and at long last. now people who havent played the games have their shorthand for which one is big boss and which one is solid snake (the eye patch. tho we still gotta wait a minute for him to get one theyre not just gonna. give him one yet they still gotta beat the shit outta him more). eventually volgins like thats IT. we're done for now send him to the cell and tatayana (EVA) whispers to snake when she has a moment hey i got an escape route for u w/ supplies all you need to do is to get outta the cell.

So now snake is in gay baby jail. theres a couple ways to get out one is that if you went in 1st person view mode earlier you would have saw a Ghost (whos shown up a couple times, uh mostly when the boss is like Are you there The Sorrow? the ghost is the Sorrow) and the ghost wouldve held up a sign that had a radio frequency if you call it it opens the door. you can leave when the guard uses the bathroom sounds like dinner didnt agree with him. you can also make friends with the guard by giving him food hes like waow :3 my names johnny my dads name was johnny my sons name is johnny and snakes like thats crazy can you open the door and hes like yeah and you scram presumably after putting him to sleep. ANYWAYS you run off to the sewers and eva is like bad news they got dogs you gotta get going and snakes running through this sewer getting chased by dogs n guys until he gets to the end and oh fuck a cliff drop into the river and he looks behind him and FUCK ITS OCELOT AGAIN goddamit hes like SNAKE. LETS DUEL AGAIN and snakes like fuck it T-poses and falls into the river jesus style where because he was barely hanging on takes him too the next boss fight with…

THE SORROW. yeah. the ghost from earlier. snake is in a realm between life and death. The fight takes place in a monochrome version of an earlier section where you are walking through waist through water. the sorrow is like its fucked up to kill people snake. heres everyone you killed and then you have to walk through this river past the ghost of everyone youve killed up until that point. no kill runs still have a couple ocelot unit members bc snake kills them in a cutscene. and once you wade past all of them you see a body floating in the water. The sorrows body. touching it kills you instantly and to progress you need to take a revival pill you have earlier bc u also have a death pill you can use whatveer but it wasnt important.

I will mention it here. This jungle is where the sorrow died years earlier. He and the Boss were put in a situation where one of them had to kill the other and they decided the sorrow will die and the boss will live. which is great for the sorrow honestly he already had ghost powers im. being a cryptid is his calling truly.

Snake wakes up under water and starts swimming upwards for air. he gets ashore and EVA's like heres the meet up spot and he heads over there where he gets his gear back and a nice roasted snake for the time being. They Chill before Eva is like OK!! i got some C3 youre gonna head back and blow the fuck outta the shagohod i need to get back before ocelot gets sus and snakes like o7 ok AND WE HEAD BACK. TO GRANZY GROD. to BLOW UP. THE SHAGOHOD. we set up a bunch of c3 which was c4 but a little lamer but they didnt know that at the time but before the explosives can go off volgins like HIIII and hes got tatyana (EVA) corned because they found out about the spy shit. Remember how ocelot kept getting annoyed by her perfume? he finally placed the smell it was the smell of gasoline from her motorcycle and evas like your a bitch ass motherfucker and volgins like lol. lmao. strikes you with lightning. and the boss is like hey. let me finish her off and volgins like ok :thumbs_up: and turns his attention to snake where the 1v1 in a pit. Ocelots miffed because HEEE wanted to 1v1 snake so he just watches from above. and throws items for snake which pisses off volgin oh yeah next boss fight

Volgin - he has electric powers he can zap the shit outta you so for the most part you cant really use ru guns bc theyre metal you gotta use C! Q! C! close quaters combat a fighting form in universe created by The Boss and Snake. you have. 10? maybe minutes to defeat volgin b4 everything blows up. at some point phase 2 beings where volgin is like OCELOT. KILL HIS ASS> and ocelots like fuck you. does his gay little hand gesture and leaves cause he aint getting blwon the fuck up.

you finish up the volgin fight and get the hell outta dodge where you see Eva outside on her bike and snake is like ? i thought da boss killed you and evas like noooo she wanted me to tell u that we gotta go meet her at the lake where im keeping a plane and snakes like awesome ok. and then the c3 goes off and theyre like yay and then the shagohod starts coming for them and theyre like D: and volgins like IM COMING FOR YOUR ASS and ocelot who hates being left out also gets on his own motorcycle and also starts chasing after eva and snake hijinks ensue ocelot gets knocked off his bike early you blow up a bridge trying to take out the shogod it works for most of it but theres still the front half you 2v1 it in some field you kill the fuck outta volgin god strikes him with lightning. snake and eva are like x_^ YAY ^_^

then all of volgins men keeps chasing them to kill em and theyre like ah fuck. eva's like snake ill drive u shoot the fuck outta them and so u go through this driving section and then you get out nice n good and then eva n snake notice the gas tank got shot and while theyre looking at that they drive into a tree and off a cliff and eva gets like. stabbed all the way through her abdomin with a stick and shes like aug i cant go on and snakes like you have to. i cant fly a plane. i need u and shes like well when u put it like that so u get eva off the stick and then perform surgery with snakes first aid kit which includes. ointment. bandages. a cigar? SHES PATCHED UP. she aint shmooving tho so we have some slower paced stealth before we get to the lake! yay! snakes like i need. to go talk to the boss and evas like ok. ill get the plane started so snake walks over to the flower field the boss is in and then we have our final boss fight with…

THE BOSS - also known as The Joy.

Life's end... Isn't it beautiful? It's almost tragic. When life ends, it gives off a final lingering aroma. Light is but a farewell gift from the darkness to those on their way to die. I've been waiting, Snake, for a long time. Waiting for your birth, your growth, and the finality of today.

Joy recounts to snake parts of her life. How she went to space and saw the world whole. with no division no borders no west vs east capitalism vs communism us vs russia. how she went to fucking dday and gave birth on the field (??!) and how her kid n womb were taken by the powers that be. uh in this case those powers are the Philosophers. She talks about how this. shouldnt be happening. They shouldnt be going face to face. How the winds chance and how someone you fought along one day will be ur enemy the next. iiii have opinionsss but those are stored in the boss ppt uh. ask if you want those send an ask im not going tooo incredibly deep here bc im just writing this all off the top of my head but she thanks snake for letting her talk about her self, calls in a bomber jet, and says snake. we have 10 minutes before everything gets blown to shit. lets have the best fight of our lives.

I have found that this fight is far easier when using a non lethal method and also this is like the only part of the game that lags the flower field has hands. The games theme snake eater plays for the second half of the fight and you can find 3 snakes around named Solid Liquid and Solidus. buuut im stalling. At the end of the fight The boss hands snake her half of the philosophers legacy that she stole from volgin. She tells him that he is a wonderful guy. That their can only be One Boss. and One Snake. the camera pans out and this is when you the player are suppose to pull the trigger. if you wait long enough the game will do it for you but this is where Joy dies.

the while flower field turns red and snake heads towards the plane with a petal he took with him that as they take of get stolen by the wind. as the gain win who shows up but MOTHERFUCKING OCELOT BABYYY HE WANTS THAT 1 ON 1 HE HAS SOME LIKE HOVER CRAFT BULLSHIT THATS SHOWN UP A COUPLE TIME AND HES LIKE FUCK YOU SNAKEE AND THEY HAVE A 1-1 IN THE BACK OF THE PLANE AND THEN OCELOTS LIKE WAIT wwai twaitwait. russian roulette my friend here here. 1 bullet. 2 guns. he starts juggling them u take them and theres like a lot of outcomes here but its either snake gets it and shoots past him and either no bullet or its a blank or ocelot shots him and its no bullet or blank and hes like. "im not an ocelot and ur not a snake what ur name" to which snake responds john metal gear. thanks john metal gear. ocelot jumps out of the plane and we're off. out of russia. thank god.

They arrive back to the states Snake and Eva have a night to themselves :smirk: and then snake wakes up alone with a message from eva thats like hey snake. i took the philosophers legacy. i wouldve killed you too but god. The Boss is really based wow. Her ORIGINAL Mission was just to get the philosophers legacy off of volgin but the dipshit nuked a building so to prevent the cold war from going hot she had to die but she couldnt kill herself cause the states needed to prove their innocence so they made YOU do it and while this tape is playing we see snake getting his medals and honors for operation snake eater and. the president whats his fuck Lindon B Johnson i think is like. youve surpassed even the boss. we give you the title big boss. people go shake snakes hand and he just fucking leaves and goes to an unmarked* grave and just cries bc da boss is dead. *its like a MIA gravestone i think. yknow. the gravestone "here lies a hero" but theres no name.

AND THATS METAL GEAR SOLID 3. Ill be fucking honest i didnt expect this to be as long as it is holy shit. and mgs3 isnt even my favorite game i just honestly sincerely just recounted the events to you off the top of my head bwhadwaiwfjiwf. ill do the other games but later hehe

#ashen.ask #ashen.rambles #<BC GODDAM

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duckapus · 2 years ago

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Horror Comedy AU where Ash Ketchum is an eldritch abomination spawned from an Unfathomable Void, but is still his usual self.

Basically, Delia was an Interpol Agent back in the day with luck just as strange as Ash's, and on her Last Job she got captured by a doomsday cult that was trying to summon a dark god equal to Arceus Itself and bring about the apocalypse. This doesn't work out, both because Delia's Aura awakens and messes with the ritual (I always prefer to think that Ash's weird ambiguous connection to Sir Aaron comes his mom's side even if in most universes she doesn't have a usable amount of Aura), and because the Void God they're trying to awaken helped Arceus create the world in the first place (and the two of Them kind of have a thing going on) so It wouldn't have helped them destroy it even if the ritual had worked.

Instead they only get a "small" fragment of Void Stuff that mixes with some of Delia's Aura to become a living mass of Darkness covered in writhing tendrils and glowing blue eyes that absorbs all the cultists, knocks out every Pokemon in the room, frees Delia, and shrinks down into the form of a human baby. Delia, being a Ketchum and a major character in a crack fic, promptly decides "my baby now" (to be fair she's not exactly wrong?) and leaves Interpol to reopen her late grandmother's old diner in Palette Town. She was planning to do that anyway even before ending up with a monster baby so it works out I guess.

Meanwhile, Giratina actually noticed the massive spike of Void that was Ash's birth and since the whole issue got resolved so quickly it takes a couple months for her to find where her new half sibling ended up (you read that right. She's the god of symmetry, Light and Dark are included in that, so Arceus and Void God both created her. Also I'm using she/her for Giratina because immortal genderless embodiments of universal concepts can use whatever pronouns they want), and when she does she offers to help him learn how to use his void powers...well, mostly. See, in this version of the Pokemon Universe not all Legendary Pokemon are gods and there are gods who aren't Legendaries, and the ones that are both tend to lean towards one or the other, so Giratina who's more Pokemon-leaning and only half-void functions very differently from Ash who isn't Pokemon at all and almost fully void, so there's some things she just can't help with.

Still, the fact that she's offering to help at all is a big relief for Delia who is doing great so far but would probably be in over her head raising what's essentially a Horror Movie Monster on her own, so Giratina makes semi-regular visits over the years both to help with powers and just to bond with her new little brother (and new mom because there is no way Delia Ketchum doesn't win her over). Also, absolutely no attempt is made to hide Ash's true nature both because I find it funny and because the Pokemon World is already weird enough that Palette Town having a baby demon just living there barely registers as noteworthy.

As far as Ash's childhood goes, it mostly follows the same beats as canon, though there are obviously some weird things that pop up. For one thing, one of his powers is that he can understand any language, including Pokemon. And, because they're sensitive to this sort of thing Pokemon can usually tell that he isn't human even without him using his more obvious powers, and that makes most wild Pokemon more receptive to him than usual.

Except birds. Birds really don't like him for some reason.

Also he turns out to have healing powers, which he finds out during that scene with Serena. Basically, he makes the cloth he ties her injury with out of some of the Void Stuff that makes up his true form, and by the time they get to Professor Oak both the cloth and the injury are gone. There are, however, side-effects, which Serena only finds out about after she moves to Kalos and Ash only finds out about years later when he saves Charmander. (I'll get to that later)

On to the first day of his Journey, things only go slightly more smoothly thanks to Ash and Pikachu being able to communicate properly, and they still get chased by every Spearow on Route 1 because all of them are trying to "Destroy the Void Spawn!" This means they still fall off the waterfall and get fished up by Misty, who gets the Full Horror Experience because after All That Shit Ash is worn out which makes him kind of Melty. And, well, Pikachu is injured, the Spearow are still coming, he can't maintain a coherent enough form to keep going on his own, and this is Season 1 Ash who can be kind of an impulsive jerk sometimes at what would normally be the bike stealing scene, so he kind of...possesses Misty and Books It.

And since this isn't a power he's ever used before and he's using it in a high-stress situation while injured, his control isn't the best, so she catches a glimpse of the Unknowable Truths of the Void, and that combined with her being there for the Biggest Thundershock Ever makes her a little...fanatical about Ash's whole Eldritch God Thing. They're still friends first and foremost and still develop something similar to their usual dynamic but the fanaticism is there, especially at the beginning. At least she's not worried about the bike this time?

Also when Ho-oh shows up he kind of visibly stumbles in midair because he was not expecting the Chosen One to be that! This is why we don't let the local Mew be the only one doing check-ins.

Anyway, Brock and Team Rocket are still their usual selves, apart from Team Rocket deciding to do research into how to fight demons so they'll actually stand a chance at stealing Pikachu so now they've got a Nacli (because salt) and a bit of an Exorcist Schtick going on.

The Charmander Incident goes a bit differently, because they just barely don't make it in time and Ash basically tells the universe NO and brings him back, which is how he finds out that his healing powers have side-effects because this time those effects are immediate. When Charmander's tail flame relights it's somehow black, he has what seems to be a new Ability that makes all his Fire-Type moves also do Ghost-Type damage, and as time goes on his scales darken until he has Shiny Charizard's color scheme. This goes further when he evolves, because he has some clear differences from a normal Charmeleon beyond just his colors, and he seems to now actually be part Ghost.

I also had some ideas for later on, like May being full of Ghosts because she's easy to get into but extremely hard to get out of or control, and Dawn being Akari who ended up as a Hisuian Zoroark and got back to the present the long way, but for now this is what I've got.

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whatwillyousing · 6 days ago

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i love those drawings!!!!!!!! whats the way to get into the minecraft things? where do i start? i want to know the characters that inspired those wonderful wonderful wonderful drawings pleasee!!

you are So sweet and enthusiastic about this i'm really really charmed... its fanart for hermitcraft & the life series which is admittedly kind of hard to poinpoint an exact entryway to "get in" to, but it's also really not at all. there's just a lot of content!

pre-emptive apology for the readmore, lol. i was not expecting to get into mcyt the way i am now but it's become something i can ramble about for quite a bit... i am going to try to thoroughly answer your question on how you can "get into" hermit/lifer world, mostly for my own self indulgence, but also i really do enjoy them that much..... hold my hand... join me...

-- -- --

a brief expository:

hermitcraft ... is a survival minecraft server with a ton of crazy talented minecrafters featuring crazy impressive large scale builds and megabases and wholeass minigames, all entirely within scope of vanilla minecraft. sometimes these crazy people interact with each other in even crazier ways. you might have already heard of this one! they're a cornerstone of minecraft youtube and are generally credited as the progenitors for how mcyt exists today. there are tons of fun little arcs and pranks and storylines interspersed throughout its seasons that make the server feel connected and endearing in a way that explains it's mass (and i truly mean massive) appeal. it's super chill, super fun!

life series ... is hermitcraft's sister series by virture of it being created by a hermit & having so many overlapping members (only 5 of them aren't part of hermitcraft!) more precisely it's a death game battle royale where everyone has a set amount of lives and share the goal to be the last one left standing. the only caveat is that until you're on your last life, you can't actually directly attack anyone, meaning there's a lot of indirect methods of killings via traps, social conniving, alliances, betrayals, etc. there's multiple seasons and each season has a different gimmick: i.e. double life has players healthbars randomly tied to one another soulmate style, secret life has players tasked with secret missions, limited life gives everyone 24 hours to live, etc. tons of funny moments and a fandom that loooves to dramatize everything (myself included lol)

-- -- --

as for how to "get into" either... its kinda hard to answer! both series just cover such a broad scope of minecrafters and content creators, you'll just have to pick one member's pov and see if you like them enough to watch all the way through. or jump to another person's pov if they catch your eye.

part of the appeal of these minecraft series is Precisely that theres such a plethora of perspectives to watch; it's especially heightened in something high stakes like the life series, but its present in hermitcraft too-- everyone offers a different point of view and it's incredibly fun to compare and contrast. this is probably one of my favorite examples of different povs providing/excluding important context (its a twitter link, sorry) but there's a ton more "serious" examples if you enjoy looking waaay too deeply into their silly roleplay shenanigans and like getting swept away in the whims of a narrative (me. i do this)

for hermits/lifer povs i'd recommend, i tend to usually watch:

gem

pearl

grian

scar

bdubs

but, like i said, there's no one person or pov you really have to stick to. take a quick peek to discern if you like what you see :")

i'll also attach an iconic build from each of them here to help aid in your search, (maybe you'll find you prefer a specific style or personality over another) but its all a matter of personal preference ^_^ also sneaking in my art of them cuz i can.

GEM:

PEARL:

GRIAN:

SCAR:

BDUBS:

reminder that these are builds made in survival minecraft. cuz theyre insane

#very long answer for a very short question. Love you anon

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macchiatosdumptruck · 2 years ago

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So, I don’t think people realize how absolutely, insanely MASSIVE 6’5/6’6 is in real life, because height-comparison-charts ain’t cutting it.

I’m a 5’10 woman—fairly tall. My dad is 6’2, Marty’s height—and that’s considerable even next to me, especially considering the muscular build which adds to the visual mass.

Next, my husband is 6’4–he looks huge, and is easily a head taller than me even in decent heels. But his brother is 6’6, and the man is a goddamn GIANT. He TOWERS over me, and makes my husband look SHORT, and looks totally massive and ridiculously humongous next to his wife—who is an average 5’6. It’s INSANE how he totally looks like a mountain next to her, and he’s not even especially bulky or broad shouldered by any means. In fact, he’s kinda skinny.

My point is, camera angles are HUGE in Cobra Kai, and TIG looks NOWHERE near as large and long and even intimidating as he would in real life—and the man is broader in the chest and shoulder than my brother in law and my husband. He would be damn scary as Terry.

As for Macchio—the camera angles help him, but he would be so very small next to TIG in real life it would be almost funny if he weren’t so gosh darn adorable. It doesn’t help that he’s naturally small-boned and compact. As Daniel, he looks petite even in CK with a full-grown adult (yet still slender) body-type—but in his KK/Outsiders/Cuba/younger days, the top of his head would have hardly come up somewhere around Terry’s lower chest area. That’s an absolutely mental height (and body and mass) disparity. Their sheer difference in hand size, for example, would be crazy. (That certainly helps TIG’s excellent piano playing too—that sheer reach! Exactly what’s really helpful for a pianist.)

Anyway, in the world of shipping—a dangerously hot difference. Oh, the delicious possibilities…but Terry would have to be extra careful with cute lil’ Danny boy. I mean damn, that’s a whole lotta body after all, and Daniel’s so…delicately built. Oh my. Talk about dominating in every sense of the word.

(But poor Terry would probably have a constant crick in his neck from trying to kiss him. And Daniel’s toes would be screaming at him.) Lmao.

Then again, Daniel would have this issue easily even with Kreese too. Or with most, if not all, of his male ships. The ultimate pocket-sized boyfriend.

Lucky bastards, all of them!

The only karate boyfriend that Daniel is on more or less equal standing with is Chozen, and that's after the mid to late 20's growth spurt.

Just going crazy over the absolutely insane size difference under the cut.

Okay, but one of the things I really liked about s5 was they allowed Terry to be legitimately scary. The first time I watched the sauna scene I was genuinely concerned for Daniel's well being. Terry is A LOT. He is a big character in every meaning of the word.

Terry literally throws Daniel's entire self clear across the room with one hand on his face. The absolute mad lads did that.

Look at how wide that man is spreading his legs just to fit in the shot, and he's still a head taller than everyone.

Okay so I have to admit that seeing it at this angle, I stared at this until I have gone insane. Because I have realized this is the closest we will ever get to a visual of that gigantic snake man in between those Bambi legs.

Terry/Tig is hunched over and bent at the waist and Daniel's foot still can't reach his shoulder. All those fics that are like "and then Terry propped his legs over his shoulders" (which I am also guilty of) we're underestimating the amount of work Daniel's ham strings would be putting in. My lord. I hope he stretches regularly.

He's gonna need climbing gear to climb that mountain.

I tend to use the picture on the left as a reference when I'm writing these two because it's one of the few times in canon they share a long shot like this. The top of Daniel's head only comes up to Terry's shoulders on a good day, and that's after his strange mid 20's growth spurt. (Plus the lifts I suspect they put in Ralph's shoes to make him as tall as Billy.)

During the filming of the first movie (when he was 21-22) he was 5'6 though, so that's literally an entire foot of a difference at maximum.

Of course his height is usually reported as anywhere between 6'4 and 6'6 but like. . . Is the two inches gonna change that much?

Terry is VERY big and Daniel is very little.

Then, there's the fact that a lot of fic is post tkk3 fic where he is 18-20 so we're actually looking at a Ralph that looks like this.

So Daniel would be even more pocket sized.

Like. It's almost comical. People who would see them together would be like "I'm low-key worried about the little one's physical well being."

Okay, I'm not gonna lie. I forgot the point I was going to make, if I even had one.

And Tig was playing a character 10-15 years older than him so we would be looking at Terry in his mid 30's - early 40's.

But, yeah. Terry would have to be very careful because Daniel's tough but, given the strenuous physical activity they get up to (😏) that's as you said, a whole lot of body, and Daniel's not that big.

RIP Terry's back. RIP Daniel's everything. That boy is gonna get bruised like a peach.

#every few months someone discovers (or rediscovers) just how truly INSANE their size difference is #and im not here to help. im here to make things worse.#like. yeah. we're all just losing our minds arent we.#silverusso #a nonny mouse #i decided to check my Tumblr inbox and i accidentally ended up staring at the old men for #[time redacted]#serotonin machine broke

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obscurecharactershowdown · 2 years ago

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Group E Round 1

[image ID: the first image is of Zinn, a creature made of a mass of dark tendrils and many eyes. the second image is of Victor Spooky, a noir detective wearing a red and purple fedora and purple trench coat, that dissolves into red and purple smoke around him. end ID]

Zinn

(Note: The author mostly uses it/its pronouns to refer to Zinn but have used 'he' and 'they' a couple times.) Zinn is a creature called a Monstrum who is a type of alien from a world made out of light. Due to unknown circumstances their universe was breeched by enemies who devoured their peaceful existence. In turn, the Monstrum were exiled and stripped of their forms. Somehow, Zinn ended up in a Steampunk adjacent world and came to be lovers with a powerful human women called the Shaman Empress. Their relationship, while described as tender, may have been one sided. Zinn loved her dearly, only referring to her as "The Beloved' but it is implied that she used it for her own deeds/gaining knowledge and power. Monstrum drain energy from anything they touch so they are incompatible with the mortal realm. Zinn inhabits the Shaman Empress's bloodline and is passed down through generations to minimize(?) damages. Eventually Zinn gets passed down to the main character who. in simple terms, as not to get sidetracked, is a Girlboss, capital G. She is a descendant of the Shaman Empress, technically making them blood family. Which is kind of hillarious. Imagine this tentacle creature being like "Hello. Yes I am your great-grandfather. Let us kill and consume flesh". They pick up a rag tack bunch of other characters( not limited to a necromancer cat, a psychic kitsune child, a brooding guy with crow wings, gay furry tiger pirates) and they are so found family… image link Zinn, despite not being too well-versed in human culture cares for them all the same. It has so many funny interactions with the cast, particularly the Kitsune girl, Kippa (as it does not understand her cheerful and positive attitude). Examples: -https://64.media.tumblr.com/ab33f45b9506033cdec6a6a2a9d55655/baa027673994792a-2d/s1280x1920/fb57ea6a550181e49d588a60473f050fac30300d.pnj -https://64.media.tumblr.com/41f0c01fa1e8c4e9e7dda5bcb589f24d/38ba370cd51ca323-59/s1280x1920/c96e0a11d0c0ab8b92b14cbebccd276c0e2c3c8a.jpg -https://64.media.tumblr.com/4cc511e4b365359842c0a9825dc416d5/e4f6cb4faa1aa13d-8e/s1280x1920/9f0ca9abdb590fdaca5c7a93e230a79bfe32fd2d.jpg -https://64.media.tumblr.com/c32edb01ada4ebf159bbb70b5a00c36c/3bca30f2ba708ae4-c3/s1280x1920/6f04c20b2fe1e47c0898b513e71772f99581ea13.jpg Zinn also has that tragic sibling swag, accidentally killing its sibling. It has so much trauma, but for a space-alien-god is very withdrawn and weary of the world. Although it tends to act cryptic and not reveal too much. It seems like it used to be elitist but with time has come to appreciate the mortal world although it would never admit it outloud. ANYWAY. VOTE FOR THIS PATHETIC HORROR OF GUY. Monsterfuckers and monsterfriends assemble! (and go read Monstress! There are many queer characters and the lead is sapphic! also cool monsters, cool worldbuilding, and real world cultural references) TLDR: Its an eldritch god who misses its dead wife :( / There is something very wrong with them (affectionate)

Detective Victor Spooky

Spooky's game still only has a demo, so there isn't much for me to say at the moment, but he's still a very interesting character. At some point in his life, he died of unknown causes leading him to become a ghost. Despite that, he still continues his detective work, though in the game he gets a supernatural case. He's acts serious, but without his clothing, his appearance is actually just a typical simple ghost design. He talks like your typical, charismatic, noir protagonist, but the fact that he's a ghost paired with the worldbuilding and concept makes him pretty unique.

#obscurecharactershowdown #group e round 1 #obscure poll #zinn monstress #monstress #detective victor spooky #victor spooky #deep night detective #tumblr is the least functional website on the internet

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wuxiaphoenix · 2 years ago

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Colors of Another Sky: Mending a Nation Follow-up

Some neat comments on that last bit! There were so many good questions I thought I’d put together a lengthy reply here, because it’s all connected and things get complicated.

First, let me give you the framework I’m building all of these plans off of. And that’s Jason Finn, retired historian (ahem encouraged to quit), 58, of Irish, Scots-Irish, and general American mutt extraction, who is an expert in Tokugawa-era Japan and a hobbyist in the Little Ice Age. None of this makes him any kind of expert on Joseon-era Korea.

(Which is just as well, because they’ve had a few centuries of oddly divergent history anyway.)

Jason does have a lot of patchy info on this time in Korea as it intersected with Japan (a major trading partner) and as the whole area was affected by the Little Ice Age (floods, frosts, baking heatwaves, droughts, dragons, locusts, horrible crop failures all over the place).

Outside of that, before he took this little trip, he tried to get down a basic vocabulary of modern Korean, plus all the hangul characters. And because he is from Florida he made sure he learned the word for shark, hoping he’d never have to use it. Oops.

Sure, he brought plenty of books... on an e-reader. Physical books are heavy. The e-reader may or may not be recoverable. Until he knows that he’s got maybe two physical books on Korea besides the dictionary, and they will be of limited use. He also has an (ahem, almost) fourteen-year-old fan of k-dramas.

...I can hear you facepalming from here. Go ahead and laugh. Even Jason thinks it’s kind of funny.

So. A bunch of points, in no particular order.

First, cotton is at this point in time already a major crop and fabric through the entire peninsula. Almost everybody wears cotton; even some yangban, in the summer. Though they tend to wear more ramie and linen.

So my best guess is that anything that made growing and harvesting cotton easier (not just the gin, there’s getting better seed germination, killing pests, keeping the soil fertile - a host of things!) would result in not more effort thrown into cotton, but more into growing silk. Everyone wants silk.

Silk-raising takes a lot of skill and care, to the point it pretty much requires workers get decent food, clothing, and rest. Or your whole crop of silkworms is ruined. Add that to, a large part of the thing about yangban owning nobi was not how much work they could get out of them, but the status of owning that many nobi. They have no need to work people into the ground, if they can make more profit setting nobi to other tasks.

...Speaking of silk, once Jason has a grip on where and when he is (and gets over the panic), he’s going to come up with a plan to rescue a particular town of silk workers in China. Famines are on schedule to wipe them out, and the few that in our timeline survived to flee to other regions couldn’t take their large and heavy looms. An entire style was lost.

While we’re on the subject of weaving.... powered looms and spinning machines were some of the first serious impetus for industrialization, often starting with water power. A steam engine can be put in a wider variety of places to be useful, but it requires fuel. Fuel is in short supply! Most of that available on the Korean Peninsula is wood, or charcoal. I’ll need to do research into nearby regions, but I can assure you Jason would have absolutely no clue where to look for fossil fuels outside of “I know Japan mines them, and that’s a bit far to ship....”

The existence of magic and how it works does allow for the possibility of steam engines. But it’ll take some creativity. And maybe a few booms.

About mass armies taking over versus small elite armies... I hate to break it to whoever didn’t know this, but Northeast Asia has had mass armies going at it since well before 600 A.D. The Imjin War involved lots and lots of gunfire!

Low interest loans to farmers would help. Interest could go up to something like 50% in this time and place, and bankruptcy doesn’t exist. Hence people ending up having to sell themselves to cover debts.

...And this circles back around to part of why I made Jason Irish. He has a personal historical connection to bad agriculture, bad leadership, bad debts, the horrible consequences of the Little Ice Age on food production (the potato blight was one), and people having to flee a system that would not let them pick themselves up and try again. He’s planning to make things better.

And yes, that’s going to include translating various concepts. The ones in the Declaration of Independence are going to be shocking....

As far as a reading list goes, I started from Everyday life in Joseon-Era Korea (ed. Michael D. Shin), worked my way through the Wikipedia bits on nobi, and started searching outward across the internet by way of people blogging on sageuks (historical k-dramas) and open access articles on JSTOR about Joseon, the Imjin War, and nobi. (thetalkingcupboard.com has a lot of good stuff on Joseon history and cultural setting.)

#creative writing #worldbuilding #colors of another sky

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senorablack · 2 years ago

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Have a Little Faith, There's Magic in the Night

Words: 7347 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Chrissy Cunningham, Robin Buckley Additional Tags: Humor, Fluff, Romantic Comedy, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Bakery, POV Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham & Eddie Munson Friendship, Lovers to enemies to lovers Summary: In which there is a rivalry between baker and barista, a minor top-shelf black cardamom discrepancy, baked goods used as an avenue for anger management, mass non-sexual prostitution for a good cause, and an old kinda kiss that means something new—all at the heart of a festival under the hazy harvest moon.

Eddie’s sure of a couple of truths come Hawkins’ 30th Annual Harvest Festival: there will be blood shed, for one, but by the metal-gods will there be premium baked goods.

An offering meant to appease hundreds of Hawkins’ most hungry is entirely contingent on epic ingredients. Everything must be thoroughly vetted. Sourced locally. Carefully tended to when acquired. It’s a game of time and knowing who’s who when gathering all these little morsels of magic, and Eddie’s a seasoned player. Saturdays down in the square hosts a gaggle of merchants who sell organic goodies and Eddie’s here for a lot of fun sundry, but also a dealbreaker.

Eddie knew that this specific Saturday the who’s who of black cardamom will be near the consignment shop with a little extra of what he’ll be needing. Eddie didn’t know, however, that that slimy sludge-pushing Harrington would be here haggling Eddie’s guy for his black cardamom.

“This will not be something I take to heart, stew on for days, and blow up later for.” Chrissy is saying at his right. “Repeat it with me.”

It’s not that he refuses to repeat it with her, it’s that he can’t. There’s little roaming around up there in Ed-landia save the image of the Fellowship down in a chamber of Moria right before they fought off those orcs. He hears the war drums from the deep. He anticipates the impending battle. Knows they are coming. And if Eddie had a bow he’d have already been setting up an arrow and aiming for the heart of the nearest snarling idiot. There aren’t any weapons nor orcs to fend off, though, just his severe indignation and Harrington and all his audacity.

“CEASE!” Eddie’s yelling, because that’s how regular people speak, “HALT! Release those fuckin’ pods or so help me!”

Harrington, clad a thin white tee and mom jeans, turns to him before Emmanuel does, looking every part a parent who’s one LEGO block between the toes away from a proper meltdown. He’s got the gall to put his hands on his hips in that condescending way he’s known to do, brows knitted together, eyes lit on fire as if Eddie’s the damn mistress here.

“Eddie, how’re doin, mijo?” asks Manny with a sunny smile and wide open arms. Eddie tries to cool some in the light of Manny’s all encompassing hug. They are arguably the best in town and he owes it to them to be clear headed (as to achieve maximum enjoyment). Eddie gives as good as he gets with Manny, squeezing the hell out of him like he’d never get another chance to again, before pulling back. Eddie gives him a little pat on the shoulder and lowers his voice.

“Manny, my man. What’s going on here?”

Manny’s never been a man to mince his words, so he’s vocal about the betrayal, which, does not come to a surprise to, nor devastates Eddie. Except you know, it does. It very much does.

“This young man says he’s interested in some black cardamom.”

“That can’t be right.” Eddie’s blinking, rubbing at the place where his heart used to be.

“No, I am really here for black cardamom.” Steve interrupts with his stupid ass pink mouth. Eddie decides that he’s not heard him.

“What are you talking about?” Manny asks.

“I mean, that can’t be right because Steve’s no mere mortal—he’s a demon.”

“See that you still think you’re funny.” Steve says through a clenched jaw. Eddie grins at that, but does not look at him.

“No matter how many times…”Chrissy sighs, long and heavy while inspecting some star anise. “… I tell him otherwise. Hey Steve, it’s good to see you.”

“See that you think that this conversation involves you, Harrington.” Eddie says, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking out to the bustle and hustle of the farmers market.

“You’re literally bitching about me—oh, hey Chrissy how are you—in front of me. Anyway, I just need a quarter of a pound. I’d really appreciate it, Mr. Zuniga.”

#steddie #my steddie fic

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empire-of-the-words · 20 days ago

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1 and 10

Oh wow this is so late 😅

1. Rant to me about a book you absolutely hate

So it's important to note that (with one exception that proves the rule, but that one's a short story) if a book is really really bad, I don’t tend to hate it. I'll either think it's funny, or just a terrible book I don't care about. But if a bad book had potential...

Anyway, I read this one book called "Of Beast and Beauty" by Chanda Hahn, and I really liked the concept!

It's a Beauty and the Beast retelling, but the Beauty is the (adopted) daughter of a witch. The witch forced the handsome but terrible prince to marry her daughter instead of his fiancé. He heard stories of how the witch mom enchanted a bunch of kings with her beauty, so he refuses to let the MC take off her veil, but she sneaks out disguised as a servant and they start to fall for each other in that way.

Where it starts to go wrong is the reveal that the maid = wife, because the Prince was certain his wife was going to love spell him with her beauty, but when it's revealed his wife is the beauty he was immediately attracted to, he doesn't care! He's just like, oh well, and continues romancing her. Which is such a missed opportunity.

The prince is also a werewolf or something, which the book tries to make a twist, but really isn't because it's B&B. The MC is secretly a princess but her father sucks and her brother's evil I think, but I'd completely lost track of what was going on by then. Also the prince's step-mom is the wife's bio-mom. Which. Gross. Especially because I didn't realize the step part until after the reveal.

10. Tell me about your top (any number you want) favorite books?

Okay, no real order here because otherwise I'll be here all day (also not counting comics)

Thursday Murder Club

Just Stab Me Now

This one retelling of The Wild Swans fairy tale that I thought was called "The Wild Swans" but I can't find it*

Hunger Games

Chronicles of Narnia

Murder on the Orient Express

Percy Jackson

Harry Potter, though it's been forever since I've read them

Currently reading The Screwtape Letters, and I think that's gonna make the list

If I'm in the right mood, The Joy Luck Club

Bonus, favorite books when I was younger that I'd still totally read again:

Gail Carson Levine's Princess Tales

Wendy Mass's Birthday series

*if anyone knows it, the kingdom's coat of arms had three swans on it (and there's a scene where the princess draws it and the prince thinks she's drawing a scene from a story someone read), there was a twist that the step-mom was the prince's long lost mom, and the main character defeats the witch by shouting her name when the sun rises after the seven (I think) years of silence

Thanks for the ask! ❤️

Ask game

#my asks

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firedragon1321 · 8 months ago

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Predictions for What Will Happen to My Works if They Are Put in the Fandom Machine

Just me bullshitting. Nothing to see here.

High School/College AUs

I'm putting these under the same banner since college AUs have gained in popularity over the years. The very plague that infested some of my first fandoms will invade en masse. This will be uniform across my works. The reason for this prediction is very simple.

My work is absolutely infested with teenagers. The "old" characters tend to be in their 20s. One of my "older" characters- Bruno- is only 25, because those kids needed a goddamn adult.

I usually don't write protagonists older than me for a few reasons. One is they're my babies and it just feels- odd. Another is teenagers are fascinating to write. A third reason is I look forward to "unlocking" new ages as I grow older. Looking back on the previous periods of my life without fear and playing with them is a sign of growth.

The side effect of this is that my works will fall into the YA crowd, who will project their experiences onto them. From my sixteen years of fandom experience, I know what that means.

Modern/No Power/Human AUs

This is also universal. Going hand-in-hand with sticking my characters in a stifling school environment, they'll also be stripped of any powers they have. Right now, I have only one story where that means basically nothing.

My OC Kova is from a post-apocalypse story set on Earth. No-one has powers. Literally everything else I write has some degree of thunderbolt flinging or fire-breathing. I write fantasy, sci-fi, and sci-fi fantasy almost exclusively.

I get people want to put the blorbos in Situations. But sometimes, the Situations run against the characters and I Can't. It's worse when it comes to species because a species can be an entire identity.

That's the case with Jake, to some extent. He was a genetic experiment whose species was killed off, save for a few children. He was adopted and raised by humans. This and an incident in his childhood create fertile ground for an identity crisis, which he slowly has to untangle over the course of the story. He wouldn't be Jake if he didn't have a tail and antlers.

Casual Albiesm

As an autistic person, I can't wait to have my obviously autistic or autistic-coded characters made neurotypical by fanworks. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside thinking of people doing the very thing the antagonists of one of my main works set out to do. Jackie's entire character arc is about being autistic and proud but ignore that I guess, lol.

Oh! You know what else is gonna rock hard? Infantilism! Never mind that Jackie masturbates off screen (he is a fifteen year old boy). No he is an innocent baby who doesn't even know how to say "fuck"! What's that? I added those scenes to counter that trope? Haha that's funny! :3

I also can't wait for people to completely ignore other forms of disability. Just ignore that the gay cyborg is an amputee, or the bird boy is a part-time cane user.

Look, I've made mistakes with this kind of stuff. I get it. But I'd rather make a mistake than wipe away the character's identity. This is similar to the Jake example above. It'll be really obnoxious with Jackie, though, because it's really in-your-face with him. His form of autism is heavily based on my own, too...

Addendum

The above applies to making black or brown characters white, etc., etc. I'm just talking about albiesm because this is the only thing I really have expertise on. I make mistakes in the race arena all the time. Ignorance is one thing. But if someone draws the mixed race Native-American/Asian Kova as a white guy, that's a conscious choice and I will puke.

I'm okay with genderswaps (I've even done it myself), as long as the character's core personality is the same and you aren't being sexist with it. Not every character needs to be a supermodel with breasts the size of Nissans. Please. I beg of you.

SHIPPING!!!!!!!!11111!!!

I have been in fandom sixteen years, and this is the thing that terrifies me the most (about equal with solo sexualization of underage characters). Shipping is part of the lifeblood of fandom. It is what fans do the most with downtime between installments, and the focus of many an analysis. Sometimes, meta will mention ships for no reason (a pet peeve of mine- if you're talking about how trauma effects your blorbo, there's no reason to go off-topic).

The scary part is I know exactly who is getting shipped.

Protagonist/deuteragonist slash pairings are expected. I grew up on Digimon and Kingdom Hearts. I'm a born again Trekkie. I've seen this pairing type in all its forms and know it is inevitable. I've even made canon pairings that were basically this. My OCs Jake and Zak are both eighteen, so I'm more comfortable showing (some) of the physical side of their relationship. This will be catnip to fangirls if the book ever sell and I accept that.

What will bug me is when people ignore other types of relationships and character ages to go straight for romantic relationships. I am talking explicitly about Soren and Beck- the ship that doesn't exist that stalks my nightmares.

These two are cartoon characters from different in-universe shows (that's why they look different). Soren is 12, Beck is 16. They have a platonic, elder brother/younger brother relationship. Both are dumped out of their cartoon and into reality. Beck arrives first, so he serves as a guide to Soren, especially in the first two books. He's also the first friendly character Soren meets, with other characters providing advice but not much warmth or outright trying to harm him. Something happens to Beck in the second book that gives Soren nightmares. He goes through hell trying to undo that thing. When Soren learns that Beck smiles to hide a lot of pain, he does what he can to help. These two characters provide support and would die for each other. But at the end of the day, they're brothers- a word Beck used and Soren wholeheartedly adopted.

I think you see what a shipper would do with this information.

This bugs me not only due to the huge gap in their ages (for children/teens, four years is a lot), but because it ignores the nuances in their relationship in favor of TEH SEX. That also ignores a lot of the book's themes. One of the main villainous factions is made up of people who have become quite rich sexually exploiting toons.

I think my main fear is putting up huge signs that say "look at this thing- it's important" and having people spit on them. The Soren/Beck ship is the crown jewel of this. It throws the whole story in the trash to feed the fandom machine.

#writing #fandom #predictions #bruno #kova #jake #jackie #zak #soren #beck #my art #tw albiesm #mention of whitewashing #mention of relationship between a 12 y/o and a 16 y/o #vent #rant

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asseater3k · 1 year ago

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Master Chief Madness day 1

(may not actually include master chief)

these are going to be different than MGM for formatting reasons and cause I'm more familiar with halo from a game play and unfortunately a lore stand point specifically reach. while I've spent time with most of these games I've only ever beaten or played to campaign of two of them they were mostly games I'd play at a friend's place. Reach is our starting point though so lets break it down by mission

1: Noble Actual/winter contingency

reach occupies an interesting spot as both a prequel and a finale of sorts being the final game by the original developer bungie as such an opening mission presents some challenges. The key of this mission is it's pacing while it starts quiet and grounded going to inspect a relay outpost that's been damaged, that damage believed to be cause by human rebels, but the game knows you wont be surprised by covenant and doesn't really try to make it a twist instead using tension brought on by the player knowing that funny aliens will show up and builds quietly to a fun set piece where you encounter your first enemies after a quiet trek. This then gently escalates into larger battles and tougher opposition. Pacing and escalation are some of reach's key strengths narratively and they are on display at a small scale here in the first mission. Another strength is its efficient character work reach is not a long campaign and you don't spend an equal amount of time with all the members of noble team, your super solider squad of eventual besties, but the game uses the time you do spend with them to communicate their character to you very well. These are especially deep or complex characters but they are endearing and most importantly feel complete. The way the start of as not to fond of noble 6 but warm up to you as the game goes on. They rely a lot on traditional solider show arch types and sort of play with them a bit Kat the techy member of noble team and its second in command but instead being a dweeb ass she has this very headstrong confidence to her that I really enjoy, Jorge is heavy weapons guy and the only spartan II on your team ( spartans are halos super solider fellows, spartan II’s are probably what you’re thinking about when you picture halo man theyre more hand crafted than mass produced using cool unethical methods to boot they’re also fucking huge, guys like master chief are spartan II’s the noble team is mostly spartan III’s which are less super soldiers and more ex soldiers they aren’t like 8 feet tall and not as busted and are usually sourced from adult soldiers instead of kidnapping children and replacing them with colones that die in three ish years) hes also a big old softy not necessarily unusual for the archetype but interesting in universe as most spartan II’s as a result of being super duper brainwashed are not very dialed in emotionally so Jorge’s sentimentality stands out, Carter the squads leader is mostly just soldier man but has a fun gentleness to him, Jun is the sniper but is interesting in that he doesn’t seem to take much seriously not in a goofy way but an irreverent way, Emile is just a walking Xbox live live avatar hes the least deep as his whole deal is just the 2011 gamer ideal of cool guy.

2: Oni sword base

the second mission consists of defending an office of naval intelligence (ONI) base from a covenant assault this is a very fun and varied mission starting with you and Kat fighting through a tight firefight on the facility’s doorstep before moving on to a fun vehicle section outisde. Halos vehicle controls are strange on pc the slower Turing speed on console gives the camera based Turning a smooth and natural feel that isn’t necessarily present on PC it could be my mouse sensitivity or the fact that I’m coming of playing forza but it tends to feel goofy. After activating defenses and a communication station you and Kat head back to the main facility which is under siege from a covenant corvette you have to make your way to the roof through the inside of the base while dealing with covenant forces when you reach the top you have to blow up a bunch of banshees with rockets and the corvette gets orbitally struck . This mission is quite possibly halo at its mechanical best a well paced run through different systems and environments like all great halo moments it allows for a beautiful flow in the gameplay an open fire fight melts into a great vehicle section and point defense segments which then loops back into the same firefight area that itself transistion into some classic corridor shooting action finished of with a nice action set piece at the end at the end of the mission Jorge congratulates her and then you meet with ONI scientist Dr. Katherine Halsey who’s is pretty important. See ONI and Halsey are actually responsible for the the Spartan program Halsey being the director and master mind with ONI the overseer and providing resources such as the cloned replacement kids for the recently kidnapped super soldiers to be. Halsey is also, an asshole, shitting on noble team through out the meeting with a brief pause to say hello to Jorge who as a sparten II she has more of a connection with although she gives out about his customizations to his armor pretty quickly after though. Halsey mentions that one of the dead scientist from the first mission had found a “latchkey” discovery something that could turn the tide of the human covenant war. This mission is also notable for being the final time in the game you end the mission on a full feel good W.

3. Nightfall

Not much to say about this mission a standard sniper based nighttime trek with jun hes fun but other than that the mission is kind of uninteresting to me and is probably my least favorite mission in the game its not bad or anything its just kind of walking in a straight line towards combat encounters the set up is that you’re running a recon op for Kat to figure out the strength of the covenant forces which your more or less do finding a whole bunch of the lil fockers and plant a bomb on a little radar jammer. It’s mostly a set up for the next mission which is very and we’ll talk about tomorrow

See Ya! Thanks for reading

#master chief madness

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donnerpartyofone · 1 year ago

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But seriously folks! I get why people would build their whole personal culture around comfort-seeking in this cold dark world of ours, but...well, I guess you have as much a right to do it as I have to make fun of it.

I complain about fandom culture a lot, and it's from this perspective: My tumblr experience starting in 2010 was highly curatable, I think just because of the manageable volume of people on here. Sometimes I see these posts reminiscing about the Superwholock era of 2012, which apparently represents the whole idea of tumblr for a lot of people, and I just had no idea it was even going on until many years later! Now the density of fan activity is such that I'm never more than a degree or two away from it no matter who I follow or block, so it feels like it's in my yard and I get crotchety about it. We all know the search function sucks in general, but it also seems like every time I try to look anything up, no matter how general or specific I am, I just get yards of fan fiction and art, often relating to stuff I've never even heard of before. And the thing that's eerie about it is that to my untrained eye, it all looks and sounds like it was made by more or less the same person. Which makes sense if you assume that all the creators are consuming the same limited range of media and their creations are mostly designed to both imitate whatever that is and gain acceptance and popularity among their peers who are all hooked on the same stuff. This appearance of being so weirdly homogeneous and bent on conformity totally freaks me out. I accept that statistically there could be really unique, provocative fan production out there, I've just never seen it. From my personal position of just seeing it only because there is so much of it that I can't avoid it anymore--and I assume that the stuff I'm seeing is popular because it's being boosted enough to break through my own curatorial behavior--it's all disturbingly oriented on similarity and mass acceptance, and frankly, it's just not that good! Is my very important opinion.

But there's another Real Reason I don't like this stuff, which is that reminds me of my own misspent youth and what I think that did to me. I was a major league '90s X-Men cultist. It was like the only thing I thought about, for years. The early '90s was this moment in comics where the art was very static, pin-up oriented, and kind of sleazy. The writing tended toward dreary, erotic soap opera fare--and to be frank I kind of miss the lack of smirking irony and knowing in-jokes of those days, which wouldn't last much longer. I was a precocious artist and writer as a little kid, but I just didn't have anything in my mind other than imitating Jim Lee and Chris Claremont. To this day I could probably draw every single stock Jim Lee pose (which were once catalogued in a big grid in Wizard Magazine, that was kind of funny and smart even though I'm sure it wasn't meant to be critical) without looking anything up. My art professor parents were pretty unhappy with this; my dad would try to coach me to think up characters that were less like fascist uber-beings--you know, what about a really ugly girl who can control men, what about a big fat guy who is super strong, etc--while my mother would denounce something I was drawing or copying as "BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHY!!!" and storm out of the room without a discussion. I was totally undeterred; I had absorbed that fake belief that attractiveness was directly correlated with health and fitness, you know, that anyone who takes care of themselves like a superhero would have to do will just naturally start looking like Pam Anderson and David Hasselhoff. I continued to obsessively, exclusively draw skanky-looking characters in painted-on outfits that were either X-Men or so nearly ripped off that it wasn't worth calling them mine.

One day when I was a teenager, I began to realize I couldn't draw anything else. The only mental reference points I had were these commercial products, and I couldn't draw cars or buildings or regular people in regular clothes. (One of the main guys I had imprinted on, the notorious Rob Liefeld, became famous for not drawing backgrounds at all once he was successful enough to refuse, so that's what I was working with) I tried to make myself learn, and it was excruciating. This was nonsense because technically I was very proficient, so there was no reason I shouldn't have been able to improve other than that I was so brainwashed by my childhood favorite thing that I couldn't find the inspiration for anything else.

On the literary side of things, I was also pretty hobbled because I had attached all my lonely, alienated, self-loathing childhood emotions to these narratives about inhumanly perfect people being amazing in between mopey makeout sessions with each other. I mean I just had no connection to really smart or interesting stories, and no taste at all, for a really, really long time. Basically all of my media consumption AND creation had only served my escapist fantasies about a world of beautiful people with unstoppable power. It wasn't great.

Around the early '00s a new breed of independent comic started to emerge, and I was all about it. The art and writing was smart, funny, and most of all really, REALLY cool, and this material took over my life for a little while. But then I started to notice something I found troubling; a large amount of that output was still oriented on the kind of sexiness and fashionability only accessible to the young and beautiful. I had met some of these artists and they weren't all vanity cases, in fact a lot of them were proper geeks, but it seemed like a substantial amount of their work was all about this idea of the hot, impossibly chic teenager. I thought that if I had to draw sexy 19 year olds all the time, no matter what kinds of rebellious style experiments I was up to, it would start to have a really negative effect on me, especially as I exited my 20s. In fact, just reading comics like that all the time--that on their most basic level expressed the longing for something that adults can't have and a lot of kids never had at all--was already having a negative effect on me, and eventually I gave them up.

And if right now you're thinking about the "old man pussy" fandom phenomenon as some kind of alternative to the fixation on the youthful hardbody, it really isn't. You still have these goggles on that evaluate everything you see for potential boyfriend material, you're still boiling everything down to sexual aids and ignoring, like...everything else that art and literature can do for you. I mean you can do that, you have a right. I just also have the right, as previously stated, to think that you're depriving yourself of a richer experience and insulting the multidimensional work that you supposedly love so much.

So anyway, more about ME. Chris Claremont's writing also kind of fucked up my life, overgrown teenager that he is, but it wasn't in quite such a toxic way. It's true that for a long time I was only keying on material that was trashy, soapy, horny, and pretentious, and this definitely affected my writing. Everything I've ever turned out has been overwrought, sappy, and full of juvenile angst, to greater and lesser degrees. It seems like I'm beyond the point of like healing from that inclination. But fortunately I cared about writing, and got cool opportunities to improve, and started reading MORE AND DIFFERENT KINDS OF STUFF. I'm still a melodramatist at heart, but I managed to move on from Chris Claremont to e.g. Douglas Sirk, who could write these delirious tearjerkers that were simultaneously earnest AND full of social critique and ironic reflection on America's destructive cultural ideals. Like that's the hope, that you can take the junk food you're addicted to and make it an ingredient in something bigger, as opposed to making it the only thing you ever have for dinner. That makes you a better creator, and a better consumer. It should make you a better fan too; I'm sure your favorite writer isn't totally thrilled when they craft this whole story out of something they were profoundly motivated to express, and you just suck the characters out of it and mash them into various sexual situations that have nothing to do with anything. I mean everyone likes to count money, but everyone also likes to feel listened-to and like all the work they do to express something personal is actually worth while.

So yeah, I complain about fandom culture from the perspective of someone who was once deeply under that kind of influence. I imagine myself being a little younger, having the internet as a 24/7 reality, and feeling compelled to tailor all of my art and writing to how many Likes and Reblogs it's going to get, and that idea really scares me. Manifestly lots of other people enjoy that lifestyle, but I'm so glad it didn't happen to me. I can sort of feel what it would have been like, based on my real experiences, and I'm so happy none of that defines my adult life--even as a serious nerd with lots of geeky obsessions that bring me constant pleasure and inspiration. I get to indulge those things without ever worrying about impressing other people in my community with my similarity to them. I get to enjoy the excitement of embracing outgrowths of what I love that are strange and new, without constantly repeating myself or wearing the stuff of my childhood into the ground. And not to toot my own horn but maybe, just maybe if there were more nerds like I became, and fewer dogmatic fandom cultists, then the tumblr search function would work a little better, and it would be a better world for all of us.

The End.

Comfort movie this comfort character that, what are you doing to make yourself profoundly uncomfortable, what are you watching that's so disgusting you can't take your eyes off it, what scares you so much it makes you intensely aware of what you take for granted, if you don't have stuff like this in your regimen then you are operating on a serious nutritional deficit and also your opinions on media are worthless.

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