#whats peter/heinz ship name | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fried-eggs152 · 11 months ago

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What are your Phineas and Ferb ships and how do you imagine their dynamics? Love your blog btw! :)

I saw this question and suddenly I wasn’t as tired as I thought I was I sat up and ran to the kitchen I felt like entrapta

(Thank you so much)

OK OKOK!! I have a couple in hand not much but some :D (I went on a rant I’m so sorry)

Let’s start with my two obvious favourites

1. Buford x phineas, sure bully x nerd cliche but this is a different type of relationship I see.

Slowly but surely they become close friends and even buddies, I feel like Buford would be a the same just less defensive with phineas and his random unhinged moments. Usually listening phineas rant about what seems to be a bug (or other things) and what type of bugs he’s allowed and not allowed to eat (summer belongs to you episode), and Buford would talk about his fish they both could keep each other going if they didn’t have their best friend (baljeet and ferb) they can remind each other of the small things they forget say perhaps phineas waking up as early as Buford does. Or reminding Buford to take care of himself once in a while that type of thing. As much as Buford tried to be a bully he has a limit of being a bully and honestly he isn’t so bad of a guy and I can see phineas reading that pretty well.

Their dynamic would be like..not like baljeet and Buford’s it just as much as a symbiotic relationship but a lil differently. Clownfish and anemones!!! That’s their relationship! Buford’s the anemone and phineas is the clownfish! (Ironic because of his shirt) it’s healthy and they keep each other going and safe! (Also phineas would prolly help with biff alot)

2. Perry the platypus x Peter the panda

Yeah I know I doubt Perry likes Peter after doof ‘cheated’ on him with Peter but when they work together (when they saved doofenshmirtz) I feel like Perry’s bitterness would fade slowly. (Also the time they went on a date when they fixed the balloon) as it did happen. Perry would find a way to get Peter in the picture, long term relationship wise. Their dynamic is kinda like ‘I secretly love you but I have to much of a lone wolf ego to say it’ and Peter ‘I know.’ Peter understands Perry’s relationship with Heinz and respects what was probably said boundary wise. The two having to listen to their nemesis or not listen it would be nice to just be with someone you can open up to even if it means in your own agency. And different species. It’s like a..hero x hero typa thing! They can keep each other up and going if their nemesis gets abit..much..I also feel like he’s be texting Peter on how stupidly naive Heinz could be and Peter rant about mysterious (what’s his name) being too closed off to open abit more.

Ok this one is especially weird- like ‘wtf 🤨’ weird

3. Lawrence x Heinz; OK hear me out (pls)

They had one interaction (when Lawrence temporarily became evil..it didn’t last) I didn’t think of it, it’s the dynamic I thought of.

Lawrence watching as Heinz talks to himself about it some platypus and the explosion leaving marks behind he would probably tend to the dirt and messes. Listening to Heinz rant and rant and rant- and when Heinz is done he’d ask for Lawrence’s info about antiques and such and they’d just share each others special interest (ADHD + Autism) and he’d take care of norm every once and awhile so Heinz doesn’t flip out on him. It’s healthy and Heinz would be so affectionate (probably) AND ferb would get to meet Heinz which works out to help Heinz make some fun inator’s (not evil Heinz’s attention would be on ferb and Lawrence’s safety his own is irrelevant) Lawrence would be oblivious to the evil but not to oblivious to see the inator’s. He’d prolly go “what is this dear?” -L

“It’s my new inator that vines down to a traumatic period of my life!” -H

“That’s healthy to put it in scientific technology. Do you want to talk about it over some almond brittle and tea?”-L

“You know me so well” -H

IT WOULD BE ADORABLE. (In my eyes)

4. Buford x ferb.

Alright almost the same thing as BxP but ferb’s silent demeanour would probably have an affect with Buford’s bully behaviour. Like put them in a room together Buford would say a couple mean things then suddenly he’s quiet. Almost sleepy at this point. Then suddenly ferb says one fact and Buford adds on to that fact and suddenly they’re having a one sided conversation as Buford debates said fact and ferb debates silently.

One would be the voice of the other (Buford being ferbs voice) about what’s right or wrong.

(Not much on this ship tbh)

5. Baljeet x phineas the two’s dynamic is simple and easy!

Anddd baljeet would be there to fix little mistakes phineas would do (Audhd) and phineas would be sorta annoyed but literally happy he doesn’t think about that small mistake for the rest of his life.

Another symbiotic relationship. Unknown animals though I’d say Coyote and badger, both smart in their own ways.

Almost about It maybe Isabella one day attention for her x someone

Maybe a fireside girl

Alr let me think some more

#great googly moogly #I am now suddenly shaky #phineas and ferb #pnf #phineas flynn #pnf phineas #pnf ferb #ferb fletcher #perry #perry the platypus #peter the panda #heinz doofenshmirtz #lawrence fletcher #ships #buford x phineas #buford van stomm #baljeet #pnf baljeet #and many more to be said

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homestuck-word-counter · 9 months ago

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And I, like an insane person, decided to do all of this.

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again.

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

#wait doof isnt evil anymore what

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

sorry im really passionate about my phineas and ferb lore

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

Okay, was anybody going to tell me that dr doof became a time traveller?

or was I just supposed to read that in a post about the possibility of doof and perry dating

@/looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@/oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

You know, having you around just makes me feel, you know, safer.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway

#doof and perrys routine thing is just foreplay

Foeplay*

where’s that post about the OWCA agents just being emotional support animals for the “evil” scientists

HERE

I’m surprised at how nobody mentioned how much the show ships them itself. It’s not just the fans’ whim

Oh, Perry the Platapus, look at us. We're fighting over the remote like an old married couple.

You never meant to work with me, did you, Perry the heartbreaker? Yes, go. Go back to your agency with their... Their uncool acronyms! Just remember, we once had something special!

WELL, THERE'S A PANDA IN MY CLOSET

AND A PANDA PAW PRINT ON MY CHEEK.

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

dress sort of suits if you know you just accentuate the positives as they say

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

He gets that from you you know.

SLAP YOURSELF

I'd just built an inator. I called it the Babe-inator!

No, it's not what you think

(Not pictured: the whole Peter the Panda’s arc)

In conclusion: The show wants you to ship them

EVERYBODY WAKE UP. It’s canon now. (one sided at least) Checkmate. The post is over

Doof loves his enemy

I FINALLY SAW THIS IN PERSON AND IT’S GOTTEN EVEN BETTER!!!

IT JUST KEEPS GOING???

Do you like the colors of Perryshmirtz?

phineas and ferb heritage post

🏠One thousand five-hundred and four of these words are in Homestuck!🏠

#93.59%#homestuck word count #found in the wild #reblog

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sohannabarberaesque · 6 years ago

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The Hippopotamus in Peavey's Drugstore: A Peter Potamus Crossover with The Great Gildersleeve

For the unacquainted with Old-Time Radio, The Great Gildersleeve was a radio comedy as aired on NBC Radio for Kraft Foods (now Kraft Heinz) from 1941 until 1957. The first ever spinoff series (as from Fibber McGee and Molly), The Great Gildersleeve dealt with the misadventures of Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve (played by Harold Perry until 1950, then taken over by Willard Waterman) having to balance his role as the Water Commissioner in Summerfield and as foster father to nephew Leroy (Walter Tetley) and niece Marjorie (Louise Erickson) after their parents were killed in an air accident--with plenty of hilarious escapades along the way. Not to mention Probate Judge Harold Hooker (whom Gildersleeve oft dismissed slyly as "that old goat") and druggist Peavey providing plenty of comic counterpoint as required.

"Just stocking up my Magic Balloon there," remarked Peter Potamus one slightly-sultry Saturday morning in the premi of Peavey's Drugstore, looking through the aisles. "Now tell me, kind sir, would you recommend antacids or ginger ale for bouts of stomach flu?"

"Personally, the ginger ale," replied Peavey, the ever-infallable neighbourhood druggist. "I understand ginger is supposed to be very effective in stomach ailments ... and might I recommend the Belfast such, down the aisle a ways?"

"Belfast?"

"Yes, Belfast Ginger Ale. Nice and potent ginger flavour just in case."

"Would you have some by the case, good druggist?"

Unbeknownst to all, a certain portly character of Summerfield, in personna of no less than Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve, strode into Peavey's and was stunned somewhat by the presence of a hippopotami on a run for some acetaminophen, bandages, and Lord-knows-what-else he may have needed from Peavey's Drugstore to begin with. Prompting the ever-faithful druggist to put aside his compounding another prescription for chill tablets and remark, "Good day, Mr. Gildersleeve; how can I help you?" in his legendary Yankee twang.

To which Gildersleeve was stunned to see the sight of a hippopotamus practically out of water, but not before remarking how he could not believe the very sight and asking where he could get the acetaminophen. "Aisle Two," Peavey replied, pointing out a sign originally found in a Hong Kong supermarket proclaiming "For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service."

"Uh, Peavey," Gildersleeve asked dumbstruck, "what exactly do you mean by this 'courteous, efficient self-service'?"

"I was in Hong Kong once, Gildersleeve," Peavey remarked, "with the missus ... and we found that sign rather funny enough to take back and repost here. Which couldn't have been better timing, as I decided to adopt a self-service approach by and large. Getting up there in years, you know, Gildersleeve."

"Yet I wonder if you have any relatives seeking to keep this drugstore going," tartly answered Gildersleeve, which had Peavey replying that he had twin nephews doing a pharmacy-school internship and a half-sister doing stockroom and deliveries. Which had Peavey calling for the half-sister (whose name turned out being Brunhilde) to look in the stockroom for a couple of cases of Belfast Ginger Ale for a certain Peter Potamus, prompting Brunhilde to become rather awe-strick at the sight.

"So what's the idea of recommending ginger ale to a hippopotamus, to begin with?" Gildersleeve asked incredulously.

To which Peavey replied, "He's restocking on supplies for another of his Magic Balloon's extended voyages."

"So THAT explains that balloon with a Noah's Ark gondola I saw outside as I came in--"

"Well, now, I wouldn't say that," Peavey replied, adding, "Still, this Peter Potamus is a rather interesting character." Whereupon Gildersleeve walked over in the aisle dedicated to first-aid supplies and kits and couldn't believe a hippo in a safari getup, starched whites and all consistent with the inevitable stereotype.

"The name is Peter Potamus."

"And I'm Gildersleeve. Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve."

"What kind of a name," Peter Potamus quickly asked, "is 'Throckmorton' to begin with?"

"Everybody calls me 'Mort.' Especially my nephew Leroy and my niece Marjorie." [Pause] "Oh, and a few close friends."

[Exchange of calling cards, prompting Peter Potamus to note on Gildersleeve's such the notation of his being "Water Commissioner."]

"Put simply, Peter P.", Gildersleeve remarked, "in charge of water and sewer. Managing no less than the main waterworks, three reservoirs, as many pumping stations and some 225 miles of water line."

"Impressive numbers, to say the least," Peter Potamus remarked. "Myself, I happen to--"

"Yes; I could tell by that balloon you have parked outside," Gildersleeve tartly replied, prompting Peavey to add that such tartness was part of Gildy's personality. By which time, Brunhilde gathered up two cases of Belfast Ginger Ale and sent them to the side of Peter Potamus' balloon just outside--never mind the curiosity the balloon was engendering.

"And, say, Mr. Druggist--"

"I believe you were referring to me?" Peavey remarked.

"Would you also happen to have some meal-replacement shakes by the case?"

"I could recommend some Boost," Peavey remarked. "Several flavours; what did you have in mind?"

"Plain vanilla."

"Ohhhh--!!" was how Gildersleeve took notice of the whole, with a sly remark suggesting that it might be better for him to call back later, with the door slamming behind him. Prompting Peter Potamus to ask excitedly, "What exactly was it that got this Mr. Gildersleeve riled up?"

"I don't think such would be of interest to you, at any rate," was how Peavey put it.

In any event, once the Boost, a replacement first-aid kit and such other sundries were loaded unto the Magic Balloon with the assistance of half-sister Brunhilde, Peter Potamus began posing for selfies and signing autographs with the curious of Summerfield, among them Mayor Casper Terwilliger, who couldn't resist the opportunity for getting some attention in ... and within minutes, the "Up ship!" command came unto his simian companion So-So, with the liftoff, assisted by the Patent Hippo Hurricane Howler (to assist in getting such into the proper position), attracting much curiosity from the crowd still remaining.

Back on deck, Peter Potamus couldn't be happier in his element in instructing So-So to set course ... "for where?" replied he.

"I think," Peter Potamus responded, "we ought to just let the winds of fortune and whimsy direct us wherever."

And by the time the balloon was gone from sight, Peavey could be seen somewhat unnerved and dazed over what ensued for the trade.

#fanfic friday #hanna barbera #the great gildersleeve #crossover #old time radio #peavey's drugstore #belfast ginger ale #summerfield #throckmorton p gildersleeve #boost #peter potamus #well now i wouldn't say that

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themurphyzone · 7 years ago

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Oneshot: Blood Doesn’t Matter

Decided it would be interesting to do a perspective flip. While Heinz’s treatment was horrible and we all know it, not everyone does. Sometimes you only see a sugarcoated version of events despite it taking place in front of you.

Age 4

Heinz was in trouble again. Out of curiosity, Roger had started using an old floorboard in his bedroom as a tally chart to track his older brother’s mischief, but it happened so often that the chart was extremely inaccurate.

“I thought it would help you, Mother,” Heinz said meekly, kicking a gear from the broken cube-shaped machine, originally designed to wash the dishes faster. However, instead of washing the dishes, it broke all the ceramics and made a mess in the tiny kitchen.

Mother sternly pointed to the closet. “Clean it up. Then go to your room. We will talk later.” Then her clipped tone vanished as she tussled Roger’s hair. “Roger, would you like another cookie?”

Roger nodded. “May I have another cookie please, Mother?” Her cookies had won her fame in the village, since they were the only ones that couldn’t be used as a hockey puck.

“So polite too!” she exclaimed, setting the largest cookie from the jar on his plate. “You need to be more like your brother, Heinz. You won’t go far with that horrible attitude of yours.”

Heinz sulked as he mopped up the broken pieces, shooting irritated glares at Roger when Mother wasn’t looking. Roger chewed contentedly on his treat. As long as Mother was happy, he was happy.

So why was Heinz never happy?

Maybe he was just a born troublemaker.

Age 7

“You were wonderful today during errands,” Mother said, tucking him in neatly. “Keep it up and the Kinderlumper might give you something extra special.”

At the mention of the Kinderlumper, Roger fell back against his pillow, tucking his teddy bear under his arms so he could go to sleep quickly. The Kinderlumper was large, but shy. He wouldn’t come if he wasn’t asleep.

But a question had been nagging at his mind. His curiosity was getting the better of him. “Mother, why are you so hard on Heinz?” he asked.

Mother wrung her hands as she pondered his question. She sighed, tiredly glancing at the door. “Your brother is not an easy child,” she said. “Your father and I must be strict to toughen him up. He might not like his chores now, but he’ll be thanking us when he’s older. Don’t associate with people like him, Roger. They’ll ruin your chances of success in the real world.”

She kissed him goodnight and blew out the lamp, closing the door behind her.

Roger turned over, listening to Mother scold Heinz for making too much noise. Yawning, he closed his eyes and dreamed of the toys that the Kinderlumper might leave on the doorstep.

Age 11

“Heinz, I need you to do me a favor,” Roger said, dribbling his kickball against the dirt floor.

Heinz ignored him as he opened all the cupboards, only to slam them shut again as he frantically searched for something. Boots thudded loudly above them, and Heinz and Roger flinched instinctively. They both forgot that Father was still tired from a late night hunting trip and was using the morning to sleep in.

It was impossible to discern Father’s expression underneath his horned helmet and massive beard. Unlike Heinz, Roger possessed a sense of self-preservation, so he looked at the floor and shut his mouth. He learned early on that he would be invisible to Father if he remained quiet and did nothing to set his volatile temper off.

Heinz was still checking the nooks and crannies of the kitchen when Father stomped in, irate at his sleep being interrupted.

“Beveg dich nicht!” Father snapped.

Heinz abruptly went stiff, looking like a deer in the headlights. Roger tensed too, but he didn’t dare raise his head.

Father huffed in disdain and returned to his bedroom.

The boys relaxed, relieved that Father was too exhausted to give any further discipline.

“You know how the Preteen Kickball Tournament is this weekend?” Roger asked.

Heinz groaned. “I’m not taking part. Mother thinks it’s embarrassing if I get on the field. Besides, I’ll just bring down the entire team.”

“I know you’re terrible. But I was just gonna ask you to pitch the ball so I can kick it,” Roger said. “You can do that much, right?”

Besides, everyone in Gimmelshtump knew he was the star player. No other kids could match the strength he poured into every kick. And the star player needed practice to be the best.

“Fine, whatever. Have you seen my chemistry book? I can’t find it anywhere, and I’m not going with you until you tell me what you’ve done with it,” Heinz growled, checking the umbrella stand. Roger didn’t know what he was hoping to accomplish if he was looking in the umbrella stand for a book.

“Heinz Doofenshmirtz!” Mother gasped from the front door, taking off her traveling cloak. She dropped the bag of vegetables from the market in shock. “How dare you accuse my boy of stealing! He would never do such a thing!”

He wouldn’t. Mother had raised him to be better than a common thief.

“Well, I was reading it last night!” Heinz protested. “And now it’s gone!”

“Have you considered taking better care of your things?” Mother chided. “Thank goodness you’re so reliable, Roger. Why, when you were five, I gave you my wedding ring for Show and Tell at your school, and you brought it back safe and sound! Heinz would have lost it in ten seconds, I’m sure.”

“I wouldn’t lose it,” Heinz muttered defiantly.

“That’s enough. Go with Roger so he can practice,” Mother said. “You can look for that silly nonsense when you come back.”

Heinz fumed all the way to the practice field.

Roger wisely decided not to tell him that he saw a page of the periodic table sticking out of Only Son’s bed that morning.

Age 14

As ditzy as Heinz was, even he had occasional moments of brilliance.

“Why don’t you tell Frau Weiss about what you’re planning to do, Roger?” Mother asked.

Frau Weiss sipped her coffee expectantly. “Do tell, Roger. Surely a handsome boy such as yourself would have some plans.”

Roger squirmed in embarrassment. While he loved Mother, sometimes he wished she wouldn’t talk about him so much to her friends. “Well, I was thinking of going into politics. But in America rather than here, since it’s one of the most powerful countries on Earth. I could intern for a senator, that way I could be connected to a network and put my name out there.”

Frau Weiss nodded in approval. “So much ambition at a young age. You did well raising this one. Tell me, whatever happened to the disappointment?”

“Heinz?” Mother replied. “He boarded a ship bound for the states by accident a few weeks ago. While he will remain nothing more than a dummkopf, I must admit he did inspire Roger to travel to America himself to begin his career. I’ll try to convince Hans that the rest of us should do the same, but he’s a stubborn man.

“I understand your pain,” Frau Weiss said. “Why couldn’t I have Roger for a son? Peter sits with his head in the clouds. I told him to find a girl with a sizable dowry, but does he listen to his poor old mother? Of course not.”

Roger pushed his chair back. “Mother? May I be excused, please? I was planning to look at the stalls in the market.”

“Of course,” Mother smiled at him. “Go right ahead.”

Roger hurried out the front door, glad to be away from all the gossip.

Age 20

It had been a week since Roger accidentally ruined Heinz’s painting. He quickly discovered that his brother was a master at holding grudges.

“Well, plenty of artists didn’t get vindicated until after they died,” Roger tried to joke.

Heinz wasn’t having any of it. He continued packing all his things into a large backpack, refusing to look at Roger. “How would you like it if I dumped a carton of grape juice on all your clothes?” he snapped. “Girls would never date you again. Unless you turned up the charm. But no, it’s never a problem for you, huh?”

“Not really,” Roger blinked. “I can’t help it. Girls fawn over me. I’m just that charming to them.”

Sometimes Heinz could be so unreasonable.

“Yeah, perfect you with your perfect car and perfect ground you trod upon,” Heinz muttered. “I’m dropping out. Nothing here for me anyway. I’m going backpacking and you can’t stop me.”

Even if Roger used common sense, Heinz was never going to heed his advice. There was little point in trying to stop him from doing something ridiculous.

Age 24

“Forget about her, Roger,” Mother said, patting his back in comfort. “You’re too good for her.”

He had no idea where he went wrong. He bought Yvonne perfume, found bracelets he thought she would like, and picked her up in a sleek black car that he’d bought with the money he’d been given from Great Uncle Frederic’s will.

So if none of those things impressed her, then what did?

“I should’ve been focusing on my studies,” Roger shook his head. “Not wasting time on girls. I’m sorry if I worried you, Mother.”

Mother picked up her knitting, a beacon of calm amidst all the turmoil. “America is so strange,” she mused. “The girls here don’t recognize that they need to settle down with a man who can provide for them.”

Age 28

Roger furiously picked the phone up from the table, while Mother sobbed her heart out. Father sat on the couch, not looking remotely interested in the matter. “Heinz, you’re making Mother cry! Don’t make her blood pressure skyrocket with your stubbornness!”

“They aren’t seeing my baby girl, and that’s final!” Heinz yelled. Roger had to hold the phone away from his ear so he didn’t go deaf from his brother’s screechy voice. “I’m listening to my gut instinct here, Roger. Maybe I’ll consider it when Vanessa’s older, but not now.” A woman’s voice was in the background, gently persuading him to to compromise. “But Charlene, you don’t understand! They’ll hurt her! Yes, I’m being paranoid about this. Okay, you know what? Fine. Roger, you can come see Vanessa if you want. But only you. Don’t even think about bringing them.”

The last word was filled with such venom, Roger almost dropped the phone in surprise. “What do you have against Mother?” Roger complained. “I can’t believe you, Heinz. She did everything she could, and you’re being ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful? Who are you calling ungrateful, when all Mother did was-” A baby’s cry pierced the background on the other end. “Great, Vanessa’s crying because of you people! I’m turning it over to Charlene. Goodbye.”

There was silence for a long time.

“I’m sorry about my husband,” Charlene said calmly. “I don’t think there’s anything to be worried about, to be honest. Fatherhood’s just getting to him.”

“I understand,” Roger replied. “I’d better go. Mother needs me.”

He hung up, setting the phone back on the hook. Then he grabbed the nearest blanket and draped it over Mother.

Age 44

“I present the new mayor of Danville, Roger Doofenshmirtz!”

Roger stepped up to the podium, smiling and waving with practiced ease. “Thank you, everyone. It’s truly a wonderful moment to be here with all of you,” he announced to the crowd, who clung to his every word. Mother was given a seat of honor in the front row. She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. “As mayor, I promise to make this fair city prosperous and safe for future generations. Now, instead of boring you with a tedious speech, allow me to make this a memorable night with some of your favorite bands!”

As the first act tuned their guitars, Roger managed to sneak inside City Hall. He shut the doors to his new office, taking in all the extravagance that his new living quarters offered. He’d have plenty of time to explore his rich lifestyle later.

There was just someone he wanted to talk to first.

He dialed a number, then quickly erased it when he remembered that Heinz had moved into a penthouse after his divorce. Funny how some details about his brother slipped his mind. Couldn’t even afford a house of his own. What a pity.

“Hello?”

“Turn on the news,” Roger said. “I’m the mayor now. Landslide election too. My opponent never stood a chance.”

“Congrats. You want a medal?” Heinz asked dryly. “Oh wait, you have plenty of those. Needs to be something a little more special for you, I suppose.”

Roger wondered if they would ever get though a conversation without Heinz’s irritation getting in the way. Probably not.

“Just thought I’d let you know,” Roger remarked. “Mother is a guest of honor. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“Then it’s only fair for me to let you know that I’m overthrowing you,” Heinz warned. “Then I’ll be ruler of the Tri-State Area, and there’ll be nothing you can do about it.”

Roger raised an eyebrow. “Have fun with that.”

The line went dead.

But for some reason, he could only stand there with the phone hanging from his loose grip.

They had never been close, but Roger never questioned why until now. Maybe it was the grape juice incident. Could it have been Heinz’s selfish refusal to allow their parents to see Vanessa? Something else that slipped his mind?

Or maybe he would never know the true cause of it all.

#oneshot #phineas and ferb #heinz doofenshmirtz #roger doofenshmirtz #abuse tw

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eddycurrents · 6 years ago

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For the week of 10 December 2018

Quick Bits:

Astonisher #13 adds Ryan O’Sullivan to the writer’s chair alongside Priest as this arc takes an interesting turn. The idea of the red parasite that’s been haranguing the planet since the first issue being fractured and confused pretty much turns the first twelve issues upside down if it’s indeed true. Great art from Al Barrionuevo, Rodney Ramos, Matt Banning, and Jamie Grant.

| Published by Lion Forge / Catalyst Prime

Avengers #11 takes a very different approach than the first ten issues or so as Jason Aaron throws more plot developments at us than Ursus Major hurls insults. It’s interesting as it works through the building problems with the US government, attempts at building a coalition of nations assisting the Avengers, Thor and Jennifer Walters’ date, and the surprise heel turn of a once deceased SHIELD agent. All with wonderful art from Ed McGuinness, Cory Smith, Mark Morales, Scott Hanna, Karl Kesel, and Erick Arciniega.

| Published by Marvel

Batman Annual #3 features a very sweet story from Tom Taylor, Otto Schmidt, and Troy Peteri that focuses on Alfred and all that he sacrifices and takes on himself in order to ensure Bruce can continue in his chosen vocation. The art from Schmidt is perfect and the heart and soul, complete with some very nice humour, that Taylor instills in the dialogue and narration are a very welcome change of pace from some of the grim and gritty takes on Batman. I think we need more Batman stories like this.

| Published by DC Comics

The Batman Who Laughs #1 is an interesting counterpoint to the Batman Annual, with a tale of body trafficking, alternate Batmen, and death from Scott Snyder, Jock, David Baron, and Sal Cipriano. It’s dour, bleak, and even more violent, even with corny insurance jokes. I can’t say it’s bad, though, the mystery is interesting, the art is wonderful, and there’s one hell of a cliffhanger, but it is dark.

| Published by DC Comics

Bitter Root #2 features some amazing artwork from Sanford Greene and Rico Renzi. The designs for the monsters, Jinoo or otherwise, are amazing and the feel of the colours, purples and greens, just bathe the story in an otherworldly glow.

| Published by Image

Black Panther #7 begins Book 2, “The Gathering of My Name”, with Kev Walker and Stéphane Paitreau joining Ta-Nehisi Coates and Joe Sabino to provide the art for this story. It’s a little more focused than the first arc, delivering a solid plan for the rebels to reclaim their identities.

| Published by Marvel

Captain Ginger #2 keeps things purring along as the Captain and Ramscoop leave off to follow a signal that they hope will bring them to another ship of cats. Then everything goes to hell aboard the mothership. Love the artwork from June Brigham, Roy Richardson, and Veronica Gandini. There’s also the usual prose pieces and a Hashtag: Danger back-up comic to round out the issue. “Company Policy Regarding Eel” from Mark Russell with a spot illustration from Ryan Kelly is particularly humorous.

| Published by Ahoy

Champions #27 concludes the Weirdworld arc and this volume of the series with the power of friendship. It’s actually a pretty good character arc for the former Nova and some neat stuff you wouldn’t necessarily have expected from Viv. Amazing art and designs from Max Dunbar and Nolan Woodard.

| Published by Marvel

Daughters of the Dragon #2 continues this digital original with a slightly different approach from the others, presenting an overarching story, but within that Jed MacKay is breaking it down into discrete two-part arcs. It works fairly well, giving some very entertaining action stories. The art for these two parts is handled by Joey Vasquez, Craig Yeung, Rain Beredo, and Jordan Gibson and it looks pretty good. There’s some really nice composition in the final confrontation.

| Published by Marvel

Dead Kings #2 is not quite as immediately bleak as Crude was, but it’s pretty close, with Steve Orlando revisiting some similar themes of regret and responsibility in Russia here. This is obviously more fantastical, blending fable and technology in a post-apocalyptic Thrice-Nine, with wonderfully dark art from Matthew Dow Smith and Lauren Affe to bring life to this slowly dying world.

| Published by AfterShock

Detective Comics #994 begins “Mythology” from the new creative team of Peter J. Tomasi, Doug Mahnke, Jaime Mendoza, David Baron, and Rob Leigh and it’s pretty damn good. It feels great to actually see some detective work in Detective Comics and the mystery of why someone would go to the lengths to stage a pair of murder victims to look like Bruce’s parents is intriguing. The art from Mahnke, Mendoza, and Baron is also wonderful. Mahnke’s style is actually fairly restrained here compared to what I’ve been used to, which when combined with this particular blue from Baron, reminds me more of the Batman of yesteryear and the works of Neal Adams, Jim Aparo, Norm Breyfogle, Marshall Rogers.

| Published by DC Comics

Doctor Strange: The Best Defense #1 continues this very interesting crossover event. Gerry Duggan, Greg Smallwood, and Cory Petit deliver a wonderful “Old Sorcerer Stephen” or “Doctor Strange: The End” type tale with Strange being almost the sole wanderer in a world where Dormammu and his spawn have conquered the Earth. It’s bleak, horrifying, and beautifully illustrated by Smallwood. It’s also interesting in how it ultimately dovetails the rest of the event. Although it definitely can be enjoyed on its own, this one gives a couple answers to the broader picture of what’s going on.

| Published by Marvel

Dragon Age: Deception #3 concludes with everyone hating everyone else, more or less, and an interesting revelation about the Magister everyone was so incensed about meeting, killing, and/or stealing from. Interesting new developments regarding the Qunari incursion of Tevinter as well. Great art from Fernando Heinz Furukawa and Michael Atiyeh.

| Published by Dark Horse

Electric Warriors #2 gets into the battles between warriors and the mechanics of those battles, what transfers to whom depending on challenge, as an alternate to war. It’s interesting enough on the surface, but Steve Orlando definitely seems to be building something bigger. Great art again from Travel Foreman and Hi-Fi. The designs for the characters are truly amazing.

| Published by DC Comics

The Empty Man #2 pushes the insanity caused by the disease even further. I’m not sure what’s more horrifying, the actions caused by the effects of the disease or the cult popping up around it. Cullen Bunn, Jesús Hervás, Niko Guardia, and Ed Dukeshire are delivering a fairly visceral, thoroughly brutal, horror tale here.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Fearscape #3 endeavours to make you hate the series protagonist, Henry Henry, even more than you already probably do with heinous act after heinous act. It is incredible as to how thoroughly unlikable Ryan O’Sullivan has managed to make him that at this point you kind of just want to see him torn apart by pedantic, pretentious literary critics literally.

| Published by Vault

The Flash #60 gives us more details on Fuerza, the new Strength Force user, and her plight against a corrupt police force in Corto Maltese. Joshua Williamson is definitely making these new characters interestingly complicated while Flash tries to understand the new forces. Great art from Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Tarragona, Tomeu Morey, and Hi-Fi.

| Published by DC Comics

Hawkman #7 brings Hawkman a new origin, and a new reason for being, from Robert Venditti, Bryan Hitch, Andrew Currie, Jeremiah Skipper, and Richard Starkings & Comicraft. This new origin nicely builds on Hawkman’s complicated legacy, not invalidating anything, but enhancing why he keeps being reborn in different places, different eras, and gives him a purpose that’s often been lacking in some of his reboots. Great work.

| Published by DC Comics

Hellboy Winter Special 2018 has a trio of tales, each of them spotlighting a different era. The first is a wonderful traditional Hellboy short from Mike Mignola, Ben Stenbeck, and Dave Stewart of a seance gone horribly wrong as they also seem to. The second builds on the vampire mythology from the BPRD: 1946-1948 series amidst superstitious villagers fearing for their crops from Gabriel Bá, Fábio Moon, and Dave Stewart. And finally a Lobster Johnson tale from Tonči Zonjić of criminals trying to pass off their handiwork as the Claw of Justice. All three stories are very well done, gorgeous art all throughout.

| Published by Dark Horse

Infinite Dark #3 reveals the plans, more or less, that Alvin and Kirin put in place to destroy the station. It’s terrifying, and its source possibly more so. It does kind of make me wonder why people are being driven mad at its reality, though.

| Published by Image / Top Cow

Infinity Wars: Ghost Panther #2 concludes this mini, the last of the Infinity Warps. Absolutely stunning artwork from Jefte Palo and Jim Campbell.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League Dark #6 concludes the Myrra arc as James Tynion IV waxes philosophically through Bobo and Diana about guilt and responsibility, even as the nightmares at the gate get even closer elsewhere. The art from Daniel Sampere, Juan Albarran, and Adriano Lucas is really damn good.

| Published by DC Comics

Magic: The Gathering - Chandra #1 features some very impressive art from Harvey Tolibao, Joana Lafuente, and Tristan Jurolan. Nice detail, character designs, and beautiful colours.

| Published by IDW

The Magic Order #5 delivers one hell of a twist in this penultimate chapter. Also, very inventive methods of torture. Drop dead gorgeous artwork from Olivier Coipel and Dave Stewart.

| Published by Image

Miles Morales: Spider-Man #1 is a great debut from Saladin Ahmed, Javier Garrón, David Curiel, and Cory Petit. This first issue mainly gets us back up to speed on Miles’ life and supporting cast, introducing and reintroducing the characters and his connections, largely giving narration through his journal, integrating an exercise from his classes to convey the narrative. We get a robbery and a confrontation with the Rhino that sets up the hook for a larger plot and mystery. The art from Garrón and Curiel is gorgeous.

| Published by Marvel

Oblivion Song #10 is insane. Another bit of Philadelphia has been popped off into Oblivion by the less stable of the Cole brothers and this issue is the resulting chaos. I’m still very impressed with how Robert Kirkman, Lorenzo De Felici, Annalisa Leoni, and Rus Wooton are constantly throwing this book into upheaval, with practically every issue giving a new revelation or upending the status quo. This is just great.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Outer Darkness #2 follows up an entertaining first issue with an outstanding second issue, introducing us to much of the crew and more explicitly the types of horrors that they’re going to encounter in space. John Layman, Afu Chan, and Pat Brosseau have something fairly unique here, with the humour just putting it over the top.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #313 brings this battle with Morlun to an end and with it this series. It’s been a decent tie-in to Spider-Geddon from Sean Ryan, Juan Frigeri, Jason Keith, and Travis Lanham, but it is basically a three issue fight scene designed to keep Peter away from the main plot of the event.

| Published by Marvel

Red Sonja Holiday Special has a fairly entertaining lead story of Sonja learning about Christmas and then becoming embroiled in some weird witness shakedown from Amy Chu, Erik Burnham, Ricardo Jamie, Omi Remalante Jr., and Taylor Esposito. There’s also a classic reprint story from Roy Thomas, Frank Thorne, and Mike Kelleher.

| Published by Dynamite

Redlands #9 continues this arc’s structure of beginning with a flashback, this time giving us a hint of what Casper did before he was indentured to the sisters. This one’s a little light on pushing the narrative ahead very far, but very high on building more atmosphere, and developing a potential new problem for Laurent.

| Published by Image

Shadowman #10 has some really great art from Renato Guedes, Eric Battle, and Ulises Arreola. The trade off of sequences for Jack’s confrontation with Sandria Darque and then the flashbacks between Guedes and Battle is very nice, giving a unique feel to both.

| Published by Valiant

Silver Surfer: The Best Defense #1 has some oblique ties to the rest of “The Best Defense” crossover, mentioning whatever this “train” is, but like the others of these first four parts features a largely independent character study. Jason Latour and Clayton Cowles present a twist on a traditional Silver Surfer morality tale by making it a game between the Surfer and Galactus. Beautifully illustrated, tapping into some of the weirdness of Marvel’s cosmic.

| Published by Marvel

Spider-Gwen: Ghost Spider #3 has Gwen and MJ work out where the Green Goblin’s hideout is with the assistance of this world’s Glory and Betty. This has been an interesting first arc and tie-in to Spider-Geddon from Seanan McGuire, Rosi Kämpe, Ian Herring, and Clayton Cowles.

| Published by Marvel

Star Trek: Waypoint Special #1 is more than worth it just for “My Human is Not” by Jackson Lanzing, Collin Kelly, Sonny Liew, and Neil Uyetake. It’s an adorable story from the point of view of Spot, beautifully illustrated by Liew. The other three stories in this special also aren’t too shabby, but you’ll want to buy this one for the tabby.

| Published by IDW

Star Wars: Age of Republic - Darth Maul #1 continues this series of one-shots with a spotlight on everyone’s favourite horny Sith Lord from Jody Houser, Luke Ross, Java Tartaglia, and Travis Lanham. The art from Ross and Tartaglia is wonderful. The layouts for many of the action sequences are particularly impressive, knocking things off-kilter to evoke the kind of chaotic fighting style of Maul.

| Published by Marvel

Supergirl #25 goes home to Krypton in the lead story from Marc Andreyko, Emanuela Lupacchino, Ray McCarthy, Lan Medina, Sean Parsons, FCO Plascencia, and Tom Napolitano. It takes Kara’s quest into another different direction, adding another possible impediment in finding everyone and everything that aided in the destruction of Krypton. There are also a couple of back-ups, one fleshing out Dr. Z’ndr Kol and the other a sweet Christmas story.

| Published by DC Comics

Superman #6 has some absolutely stunning spreads from Ivan Reis, Joe Prado, Oclair Albert, and Alex Sinclair. The battle between Rogol Zaar and Superman & Zod is incredible, probably some of the best pages I’ve ever seen from Reis. The narration by Superman from Brian Michael Bendis is also interesting as he waxes philosophical about his speed and fighting side by side with Zod. What is less magical is the ending. Superman leaving Zod, even with pressing concerns elsewhere, feels wrong. I don’t know if it’s intentionally a bad decision on Superman’s part that will be addressed, or if it’s just a bad decision from Bendis. It just doesn’t feel like what Superman would do. Otherwise, this is a pretty great issue.

| Published by DC Comics

Titans #31 adds Kyle Rayner to the team as Donna Troy officially takes the lead and a number of the simmering sub-plots converge to kick off a new adventure. Great art from Clayton Henry, Brent Peeples, Dexter Vines, and Marcelo Maiolo.

| Published by DC Comics

Vampirella vs. Reanimator #1 is a damn good start to this mini from Cullen Bunn, Blacky Shepherd, and Taylor Esposito. The art from Shepherd is very impressive. I love the choice to present the story almost entirely in grey tones with spot colours for red and a little bit of sickly yellow, it really makes the art stand out.

| Published by Dynamite

William Gibson’s Alien 3 #2 continues this excellent adaptation of Gibson’s unproduced screenplay by Johnnie Christmas, Tamra Bonvillain, and Nate Piekos. The political aspect and veritable cold war are very interesting additions to the Alien lore.

| Published by Dark Horse

Wonder Woman #60 turns the screw a bit with some unexpected developments for Ares. I’m really liking the art from Cary Nord, Mick Gray, and Romulo Fajardo Jr. While definitely partially the influence of Gray’s inking, Nord’s presenting a somewhat looser, more angular style that reminds me a bit of Frank Miller and Phil Hester which really works for the chaotic and bellicose story.

| Published by DC Comics

Other Highlights: Accell #16, Amazing Spider-Man #11, Animosity: Evolution #9, Asgardians of the Galaxy #4, Auntie Agatha’s Home for Wayward Rabbits #2, Battlestar Galactica Classic #2, Birthright #34, Black Hammer: Cthu-Louise, The Black Order #2, By Night #6, Cemetery Beach #4, DuckTales #14, Elephantmen 2261 Holiday Special, Fantastic Four Wedding Special #1, From Hell Master Edition #2, Giant Days #45, Go Go Power Rangers #15, God of War #2, Goddess Mode #1, Head Lopper #10, Hit-Girl #11, House of Whispers #4, James Bond: Origin #4, Jim Henson’s Beneath the Dark Crystal #5, Joe Golem: The Drowning City #4, The Lone Ranger #3, Mage: The Hero Denied #14, Murder Falcon #3, New Talent Showcase 2018 #1, Patience! Conviction! Revenge! #4, Planet of the Apes: The Simian Age #1, The Quantum Age #5, Red Sonja/Tarzan #6, Rose #15, Sasquatch Detective #1, Sleepless #10, Smooth Criminals #2, Spider-Force #3, Spider-Girls #3, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #27, Star Wars: Han Solo - Imperial Cadet #1, TMNT: Macro-Series #4: Raphael, Typhoid Fever: Iron Fist #1, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #39, The Unstoppable Wasp #3, Vampironica #5, War Bears #3, The Wasted Space Holiday Special #1

Recommended Collections: Amazing Spider-Man - Volume 9, Black Crown Omnibus - Volume 1, Blackwood, Britannia - Volume 3: Lost Eagles of Rome, Cloak and Dagger: Shades of Grey, Curse of Brimstone - Volume 1: Inferno, Fear Agent: Final Edition - Volume 4, Giant Days: Early Registration, Go Go Power Rangers - Volume 2, Hillbilly - Volume 3, Ice Cream Man - Volume 2: Strange Neapolitan, Judge Dredd: Under Siege, Scarlet - Book 2, Star Wars - Volume 9: Hope Dies

d. emerson eddy would like to take a moment to finally admit...”I’m Batman”.

#This Week in Comics

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drnovanjims-blog · 7 years ago

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drnovanjims-blog · 7 years ago

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A bank clerk places a pack of 10 Euro notes valuing 10,000 Euros (14,225 dollars) into a safe in a bank in Vienna July 21, 2009. REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader (AUSTRIA BUSINESS)

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drnovanjims-blog · 7 years ago

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A bank clerk places a pack of 10 Euro notes valuing 10,000 Euros (14,225 dollars) into a safe in a bank in Vienna July 21, 2009. REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader (AUSTRIA BUSINESS)

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drnovanjims-blog · 7 years ago

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A bank clerk places a pack of 10 Euro notes valuing 10,000 Euros (14,225 dollars) into a safe in a bank in Vienna July 21, 2009. REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader (AUSTRIA BUSINESS)

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drnovanjims-blog · 7 years ago

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A bank clerk places a pack of 10 Euro notes valuing 10,000 Euros (14,225 dollars) into a safe in a bank in Vienna July 21, 2009. REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader (AUSTRIA BUSINESS)

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