#somehow twilight actually functions well with the assumption that vampirism fundamentally stagnates mental growth
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Twilight, but it's a reexamination of the way elves age in most fantasy universes.
"I know what you are. You're skin is pale and you're unbelievably fast."
"Not that fast. Marginally faster than most people. On average."
"Sometimes you speak like you're from another time, I've never seen your ears... and I've only ever seen you eat root vegetables."
"Just say it"
"no, you have to do the line..."
"*fine* Say it, out loud."
"You're an elf."
"Cool. Now can you please just not tell anyone about this?"
---
"How old are you?"
"I dunno, like... 460."
"But you don't look older than 17."
"I spent about 50 years looking like I was 10."
"And how long have you looked like you were 17?"
"uh--probably 200 years? I don't know. We don't age in reverse dog years, there isn't math for this."
"Ugh, Sindreth, you're so stupid."
#started out as my brain going “twiligh vampires are basically just elves”#but then there was the examination that nit physically aging while mentally aging is oddly creepier if edward is an elf#somehow twilight actually functions well with the assumption that vampirism fundamentally stagnates mental growth#but also. Twilight is still super weird for that.#getting on a tangent that has already been done to death#this is about elves#assuming elves are more Tolkien-like and live forever they age very slowly to the point that they are basically just twilight vampires#and its very funny to me to imagine an angsty teenage (by elf standards) elf playing through all the dumb edward scenes#but by the time i wrote the end of the post i just went to the “attracted to stupid people” thing that goes around ever now and then
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