#and it's hilarious to me.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[dramatic-dolphin]

when we were studying the bible in literature class (so we have the context necessary for later works that reference the bible), i think we were at the book of jonah, and one of my classmates was studying the text very intently, and then looked up and earnestly said "professor, i don't understand the will of god"

the teacher was just like. well sadly i am a literature teacher and not a priest so i can't help you there. but if it helps, many people throughout history had the same problem.

[nextstopparis]

when in fics they say two characters gave each other a look this is always what i envision in my head

[ashoss]

some things dont change

[frownyalfred]

thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[sparklingthedas]

Astarion lectures of disappointment >>>

[wizzidoodles]

In honor of Lucifer’s debut, I’d like to bring back this masterpiece

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[fruit-teeth]

Me: maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer…idk what if I’m not good enough

BookTok romance writers: ‘what if you were just a normal school teacher…but the MINOTAUR wanted to get you PREGNANT’

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

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[liquidstar]

genuinely this is the funniest joke in the series so far to me

[lonelyzarquon]

[jade-len]

yeah twink shen yuan this hunky binghe that, in all honesty the image of some scruffy awkwardly tall lanky mid 20's nerd with a half shaven tired face standing next to a seemingly perfect almost androgynous gorgeous beauty of a man is 5x more hilarious, bc imagine witnessing an absolute supermodel influencer (who's known to be a ladykiller) crying and clinging to some guy who looks like he's on the verge of having a midlife crisis at only 24 tiredly patting said supermodel's head and in a deep dead pan voice saying, "no dumpling, you can't murder that girl just because she said my xianxia themed legos were stupid." like you can't tell me that the stark contrast and impact would be nearly the same if it were your typical twink sy and hunk binghe.